Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 503: Bronze Booty with Lisa Loeb

Episode Date: October 23, 2017

Musician Lisa Loeb joins Jordan and Jesse as they set aside their usual muscle car discussion to talk about Lisa's ideal animatronic band to sing her music on the road, her love for microwaved burritos, and her new album of cover songs that are also lullabies.  Plus, Jordan describes a surprisingly romantic Friday the 13th sighting.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, what a joy to be here. Let's get right into it. We're talking about GTOs. Jordan Jesse Goh, of course, podcast about, go, of course. I don't want to. I don't want to. Every week on Jordan, Jesse, go, we talk about America's muscle cars.

Not just Pontiac's classic goat, but also the Ford Mustang and other muscle cars. I don't want to. I'm over it. Frankly, I'm over American industry. Really? Yeah. Wow. American gumption and know-how American industry. Really? Yeah. Wow. American gumption and know-how overrated.

Really? Get out of town. Where are you headed, Japan? Who knows? What are you going to do? Get together with the Japanese to buy the Empire State Building? Maybe I will. Maybe I will.

Listen, I'm just so sick of America and their loud vroom-vrooms. Uh-huh. Well, how about this?rooms charging down the street. My kids live here. My kids live here. How about this for an alternative, Jordan? Yes. Instead of talking about, for once on Jordan and Jesse Cohen, instead of talking about muscle cars, let's just have a guest on. We'll just talk for 70 minutes or so, see where it goes.

And at the end, we'll put it out on the internet for a small but devoted following. I mean, anything to get me out of this back and forth about those vroom vrooms I hate so much. Jeez Louise. Yeah. Well, look, Jordan. Yeah. The last thing I want to do is make you talk about vroom vrooms, given how much you hate vroom vrooms. Thank you.

You're welcome. Yeah. Should I introduce our guest? I would love to hear that. You know her as a gifted singer-songwriter. Not to mention a raconteur. She has a brand new album called Lullaby Girl. She's available in MP3 form.

You can get that on Compact Disc. You can get that on Amazon Streaming. I punched that right up on my Amazon Music app. All the modern formats. You might also know her from me having a crush on her in eighth grade. Lisa Loeb. Hello. Hi, Lisa.

Hello. Thank you for coming on the program. Thank you for having me on the program. I complimented your cat dress when I walked in. It's got cat heads not real ones it's a print fabric print you didn't actually chop off

cat heads I was thinking that seems out of character for Lisa Loeb they're black cats to murder literally what are we looking at 50-60 cats yeah and it's for They're black cats. To murder, literally, what are we looking at? 50, 60 cats. Yeah.

And it's for, I guess we'll be releasing this down the line, but this is a Friday the 13th appropriate get up. It is. It's Friday the 13th, and I love Friday the 13th, and I love cats. And I was at the pumpkin patch today, so I feel very Halloween. Yeah. I just feel like in the Halloween spirit. Was it the kind of pumpkin patch where you just pick out a pumpkin or was it the kind where you take it off a pumpkin vine? You pull it from a tree.

No. You know, I was just talking about that. This is some new shit. Yeah. These are genetically engineered pumpkin trees. Yeah. I always think about that because the thing is it's Underwood Farms, which is a huge farm. Sure. This is like a farm that you can go visit and you can do your own seasonal migrant labor.

Exactly. You pick your own veggies. Yeah. And fruits. And then you eat them. Things you would never eat like radishes. Well, I would. There's also like a weird puppet show.

Oh, it's awesome. Oh, my gosh. It's an animatronic chicken singing chickenishes. Well, I would. There's also like a weird puppet show. Oh, it's awesome. Oh, my gosh. It's an animatronic chicken singing chicken show. It's what I look forward to. We go there twice a year, one for the strawberries and one for the pumpkins with the school. And it's one of my kids and my favorite things. It's not a ride, but you don't even pay tickets for it. But you get to sit on hay bales and watch these chickens sing songs.

And it's so awesome. I heard them sing a new song I never heard before in Spanish with an Italian accent, which was weird. Wow. Very multicultural. And my son and I always get colorful popcorn. What is that called? Kettlecorn. Kettlecorn, but the colorful one that's probably full of food dye.

Oh. But it's delicious. Is it orange or blue? It's all the colors. Okay, got it. Rainbow. Yeah. And then we watched the chickens and I was thinking, God, this would make such a great

video. I would love to be able to feed my music into the animatronic faces singing the songs. And then I thought, I bet Beck or somebody has already done this. Yeah. But it would just be, oh God, that would be a dream come true. but it would just be oh god that would be a dream come true I think

I mean I'm not a musician but I think that I would go mad with power in any situation where I could make any animatronic character

of any kind sing any song that I chose oh that would be so good I'm just worried that Beck is listening and he's gonna steal that shit because that is a

fucking classic Beck move or just like go on the line go on the road like we were talking about our kids. And I try not to be on the road a lot. As a mom, I feel like I'm on the road all the time. As a musician, I feel like I'm hardly on the road. But to have animatronic band singing my songs while I was at home making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for myself and my kids.

of butter and jelly sandwiches for myself and my kids. So you're thinking of this potentially as like a Gallagher 2 situation where you give the chickens your act and send them out on the road and you just get a cut. That would be amazing. Now, if this is just a dream scenario, and I mean, I think we probably have some animatronics enthusiasts in the audience. So if anybody wants to team up for this, ideally, would they be chickens? Or if this is a, you know, just blue sky, anything goes scenario, do you have other animals or mythical beasts maybe you would want singing? I'm not a really big mythical beast person.

They kind of freak me out. Sure. Even griffins? Griffins scare me so badly. Even with the feathers? Anything feathers and beaks, talons, fangs, talons. More than one head. Yeah, gargoyles, all that kind of stuff.

Gorgon. Is that even an animal or is that like a cleansing detergent? Gorgon. I believe gorgon is a mythical creature. I think it's a medusa. I think a medusa is a specific gorgon. Okay. So all those things.

No. They scare me. Jordanian. English major. Oh, so you know all those big words. And you know what? Here's what I say to mythical creatures. Oh, so you know all those big words. And you know what? Stay, you know, here,

here's what I say to mythical creatures. Stay in the realm of the imagination. Yeah. Stay in the world of myth. Yeah. America, love it or leave it, mythical creatures.

Yeah, I was more of like a conflict major. It was more about Madeline's. Sure. The cookie? Yeah, the cookie, you know,

Proust. I'm more of a macaron guy. Oh yeah, macaron. But I just, I just majored in eating macarons. I'm more of a macaroon person. I would like to eat macarons, but I don't actually like them. They don't travel well either.

You know, what's the difference? Well, macaroons – well, I'm from Texas too, so macaroons are the ones you have – they're gluten-free. There's no flour. They're made out of shredded coconut. Often they're kind of swirled and they're toasted. If they're good, they're toasted and really crisp on the outside, chewy on the inside, sometimes dipped in chocolate. When they're not good, they're just completely chewy and they're in a can. Okay.

Macaron are like those kind of soft-looking sandwich cookies made out of egg whites with some kind of filling, and they often are in fabulous flavors like pistachio or rose water. Do you like a coconut, Jordan? Huh? How do you feel about a coconut? You know, it's one of those things that I didn't like as a kid, but I think as my palate has grown more sophisticated, I'll eat a Mounds bar. Me too.

They used to freak me out. Yeah, oh, sure. Make me a little nauseous. i used to give them back if i got them as halloween hand them in their yard yeah sure uh but yeah but now i'll eat a mounds um yeah i'll eat another kind of thing with coconut on it how about you i love a coconut so much now i hated there's you could not have found anything i hated more than a coconut. Now, you throw me in a grocery store, I'm headed straight for the young Thai coconuts. Yeah. When I was a kid, I liked actual coconuts when you got a hammer and a nail and you went tick, tick, tick, and you could crack a coconut open and there was actual coconut. But yeah, anything with shredded coconut, I would try to like pick the pieces off.

I wonder if there's a way to combine my two childhood hatreds that I now like. Is there something that contains both coconut and blue cheese? I know. I just made myself a nice blue cheese grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. I said to myself, aren't you happy that you're a grown up? Sure. Yeah. You could put a little coconut in there.

Just a little sweet coconut. Maybe those coconut, the ones they sell now in the bags. I was on, I think at midnight or something and they had all the little snacks from all the stores that you don't buy because they're like $1,000 for these little bags of delicious toasted coconut and cherries covered in something. Probably the worst part about your television show having ended is that I no longer have access to the amazing variety of backstage snacks. See, those snacks are unbelievable. They did a nice job. They did a nice job. They did a nice job.

So I had the little toasted coconut, and it's so good. It's like shredded and sweet, and that would be good on that grilled cheese sandwich. I'll get one of these young Thai coconuts. You know, they got them on ice in the produce section. Take that home. And I don't know what about it. The secret to young Thai coconut, condensed milk. I know.

Oh, yeah. Here's what I thought in my head. don't know about it. The secret to young Thai coconut, condensed milk. I know. Oh, yeah. Here's what I thought. Here's what I thought in my head. This is my thought process. The last, like, two years ago, I finally got it together to learn how to eat a mango. I had always thought a mango is too much work. You know, I don't want to. It's going to make, I'm going to make a big mess.

I'm going to have mango all over myself, and it's going to be kind of stringy. That's when I found out about the other kind of mango. Wait, what other kind? And how do you – what's your mango theory? I fuck with an Atahualpa mango, which is like the little yellow ones. Oh, the little ones. Those ones are – They're always kind of soft.

Those ones are – I mean, I like the other kind too. But the little yellow ones, fuck them five times better. They're almost like the shape of a peanut, flat. Yeah, exactly. My wife taught me some chopping techniques for mango. All of a sudden, all I want to eat is mangoes. You want to pop them. I let my son pop them.

You cut flat on either side of the seed as close as you can, score it, pop it inside out like a porcupine or a hedgehog. That's exactly what I do. And here in Los Angeles, a man will sell you a flat of them while you're waiting for a light to change. It's the most exciting thing in the world. So I thought to myself, maybe I like coconuts too. So my first thing was I went to the fruit chopping man.

Oh, yeah. The guy. Oh, my gosh. Choppy. We've discussed by far the best thing about Los Angeles, but I was disappointed. I said, what is this woody? This doesn't taste good. I kind of like that woody, like weird.

You're eating the inside of bark. I do. Okay. And it's so white. In general, I like a little rind in my fruit. I like a little, you know, a little roughage, you know? Yeah. So I was like, maybe I don't like coconuts.

Maybe I only like candied coconuts. Maybe it's only, you know, whatever. Then just one day I'm looking at these young Thai coconuts in the grocery store. I said, well, that's fun. You know, I don't know. What do you do with that? So I took it home. I went on YouTube.

Okay. I don't have any. I don't have any. No one in my social circle is young and Thai. I thought you were saying they didn't have YouTube. No. I didn't have anyone to check in with

that I felt confident would be able to tell me how to open it. And I had to look. Just everyone in your social circle, you need to email them a QuickTime file if you want to show them a video.

Exactly. What is this, YouTube? It was, I looked up how you open it up. It's pretty difficult. What do you do? Is it like tympanning? Like trepanation?

Trepanation, yeah. Like putting a hole in a skull? Yeah, exactly. To let the evil spirits out? Right. Trepanation. Yeah, that is, yeah, basically. Young dry coconuts often have too much black bile.

Yeah. And that causes them to be, as their tumors are imbalanced. It causes hysteria. Basically, you have to kind of, first you kind of carve. I'm a doctor and a barber. Sorry, Continue.

You kind of carve down to as deep as you can go. Because it's green on the outside. No. Are these the green ones? So sometimes they leave – it depends on how they do it. Usually they'll trim the hole outside and flatten the bottom with a pointy-headed top. Right, right. Like a member of Mayan royalty whose head has been made pointy through the use of clamps.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I love that. I know. It's amazing. When they do that to babies and then they're – Yeah, and then the head is pointy. Yeah, I love that. So you chop kind of the pointy part off so you get it flat.

And then you basically just have to bang a knife in there. Pa-pow. Pa-pow. Pa-pow. Pa-pow. Pa-pow. And you kind of cut a couple things and then you just sort of pry it open. And then you – And you learned this all from a YouTube person. you just sort of pry it open. And then you, ooh.

And you learned this all from a YouTube person. I've watched several YouTubes. Because I did not want to trust the first thing that comes up. If you watch a YouTube and it says basically what you do is stick a knife on there and whack it. Right. That did not seem, I needed corroboration on that. I feel like I've done that with potato pancakes and other things. That's how you open a potato pancake?

No, I look on YouTube. I'm like, I think I know how to do this, but I'm just going to check. Yeah. God, YouTube is amazing. You check like seven times. All I've been able to find is a guy playing Minecraft for a long time. Well, I mean, if you didn't know how to play Minecraft for a long time, there you go. Now you're all set.

PewDiePie told you how to do that. He did, yeah. And also some Nazi stuff. There you go. Now you're all set. PewDiePie told you how to do that. He did, yeah. And also some Nazi stuff. Sure, yeah. I take whatever PewDiePie says with a grain of salt. Sure. Lisa, I want to get back

to the topic of your potential animatronic traveling band. Oh, yeah. I was thinking about that. I think we've already decided you don't want anything to do with mythical creatures.

Too scary. Yeah. Too many heads. Let me give you some context for this, Lisa. We're also entertainment managers. Sure. We work primarily with robots and semi-robots. Semi-robots?

Yeah. So these are not fully autonomous. They involve some controlling. That's probably easier anyway. Exoskeletons, that kind of thing. Yeah, rubber elements and so forth. But are there people

inside of them? Sometimes, there can be. It depends on how thin the person is. Oh. So like Doug Jones, the actor best known

for being in the Hellboy movies as the fish face man. that movie scares me so badly. Well then, Jones is out. He's a very nice man.

He cannot be in my band. I met the guy who played Nightmare on Elm Street. Oh, Robert Englund, Freddy Krueger. Yes, he was super nice. He said he was a big fan. I thought, well, he was just saying that, but I think he actually was. He might have even mentioned some songs. I really love that Robert Englund is a Lisa Loeb fan.

I know. He scared the hell out of me when I was a kid. I saw all those movies. They were spinning through the bed, blood squirting. Sure. Was this like at an Oscars reception? I wish. No, it was at a food, one of those food shows where it's like a competitive show and then

they have celebrities in the kitchen eating the food. Yeah. And you're on mic the whole time and you think you're being shot, you know, seen the entire time and then you see the final edit and they just kind of pan across Robert John Ford Coley. What's his name again? Robert England. Yeah. England Dan and John Ford Coley.

Do you know that band? No. It's from the 70s. Anyway, it was before you were born. It sounds like – But anyway, so they just pan by people and you're eating your crab cakes or whatever. They had a couple of bits and pieces of our conversation at our table because we were at a very special table. But anyway, it's one of those food shows.

It was very fun. I bet if you're Robert Englund and you get booked on a food show, do you think they just assume you'll show up with the knife glove? And do you think they were disappointed that you didn't? I know. I always wear glasses. I always thought we'd do a thing where you put a little. Yeah.

Right. I mean, you're wearing a cat dress right now. That's very on brand. Yeah. I just, it's my closet. But yeah, that's what I think

when I go shopping. I'm like, hmm. Yes. Brand. So no, okay. So no mythical beasts. Yeah. Do we just go with the chickens

that are already there? Does it have to be barnyard? Could we expand barnyard? I think it would be good to expand barnyard. I think there should be probably – well, there could be somebody in the middle that's an animal like a cat. Kind of like the kind of level of realistic cat that you would see in Mr. Rogers' neighborhood in the puppet area. Right. You know where it's still – it's not a stuffed animal.

It's not like a Japanese style Hello Kitty type of squarish round head thing. It's something that it kind of is trying to look like a cat. Like a sort of stife situation. Oh, exactly. A stife cat and a stife. Because I don't know what a stife is. They have a little, they're like the softest. and a stife.

Because I don't know what a stife is. They have a little, they're like the softest. Have you ever been to a synagogue or a church where they have chairs covered in like the softest, it's like finely mowed grass of,

I think it's called wool. I think it might be wool. No. What is it made out of? It's an old timey thing they used to cover. I don't know. Like a velvet?

No hair. No. I don't know what it's called. It's not a velvet. But it's the softest stuffed animal. But it's not cottony. It's more, not polyester- called. It's not a velvet. But it's the softest stuffed animal. But it's not cottony. It's more not polyester-y. It's a little woolly.

This is a premium collectible stuffed animal product. For a very special little boy or girl. Austria or Germany. I can't remember which. It has a little clip or something in its ear so you know that's what it is. Okay. But it's not the new stuffed animals. I don't know how familiar you are with new stuffed animals.

I know you are. I have a very intense Beanie Baby collection, but I stopped there. Right. Well, see, the new stuffed animals, they're so soft you can't even feel them. Oh, boy. You know what I mean? Like those blankets you can buy at Costco. They're so soft.

When you go to touch them, it's like air. It's like whipped cream. You can't feel it. You're concerned you're going to put your hand through it. It's more of a mist. It's so soft. When you go to touch them, it's like air. It's like whipped cream. You can't feel it. You're concerned you're going to put your hand through it. It's more of a mist. It's so soft. Less of a stuffed animal, more of a mist. Okay.

There's a lot of stuffed animals out there like that. Yeah, and I think there's something a little bit more substantial about a high-quality stife. I'm not here to brag, but I recently met the toy guy from the Antiques Roadshow. Oh, you did? He handles a lot of stifes. Okay. They're really nice.

You would think you would find them at the Sound of Music in that house. Okay. You know, where people wear leather shoes and pants that are actually not from the Gap. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Anyway, so that would be nice. What about an exotic barnyard animal? I'm immediately thinking, because again, we're managers.

I'm always thinking how can we add some razzle dazzle and as much as I love this cat I do it's great it's on brand I get it your dress uh the famous eyeglasses the whole nine yards they're so cute if we're gonna add some razzle dazzle what about an emu I just saw an emu today I have a picture of myself with an emu pumpkin farm yeah there was an emu my son and I talked about it for a a while. I tried to take a selfie with it because I was – It's always tough to have the talk with kids about the difference between ostriches and emus. Exactly. I was trying to explain it to him and he said, where are the carrots?

Look, there I am with an emu, a picture of me with an emu. Whoa. There she is. It's real. It's real. For the listener at home. Look at this face. It's a beak.

It looks like a puppet itself. Well, the emu – the one thing about the emu, it's a picture of me with an emu behind a cage because the emu would probably want to eat my face. Yeah. Because I was eating that colorful popcorn. Yeah. But emus, it looks like a marionette. And a little brass buttons, too. An emu looks like a marionette.

Yeah. It looks like a, yeah, exactly. It looks like a marionette. Yeah. A huge one. It's taller than I am. It may be. You can't trust that farm. Emus could be cute. That could be cute. I taller than I am. It may be. You can't trust that farm.

Emus could be cute. That could be cute. I think if we learned anything from those chickens, you can't trust that farm past the end of your nose. I think I heard at a very young age how dangerous ostriches and emus are. So when I see them, I have a hard time feeling whimsical about them. I just see a murder machine. I see a dead-eyed, black-eyed murder machine who just wants to kick me to death. I think I agree.

And steal my belt buckle. There was a cage that I thought could protect me. That's true. winner, Tyler McNibbin, his parents built the house that he grew up in in Woodside, California, which was like venture capital country now. But at the time, it was like back to the land country. And so they live in this giant barn that they built in 1969 or something. And I have a very vivid memory of going over to that house. And they were Tyler.

I'm there. Tyler's parents, Tyler's brothers. And the kitchen window is behind them. And just these ostriches are walking past the kitchen window. And I'm like, Tyler, I don't mean to interrupt this conversation, but are there ostriches walking past your window? Or have my shrooms just kicked in? And he's like, oh, yes. Well, you know, this is venture capital country.

The people that live here are very rich. And our neighbor has a menagerie. Oh, boy. His neighbor just had our neighbor has a menagerie. Oh, boy. His neighbor just had an uncaged menagerie. So later a zebra wandered by. Oh, my gosh. I saw a zebra the other day in Arkansas. No, but even weirder.

Monsters out of the United States and zebras out of Arkansas. They just don't belong. No, we were driving from Oklahoma to Arkansas where I was playing in Alma, Arkansas. And as we were driving, we drove by and I saw a horse and another horse. And then I saw a zebra. I was like, wait, what? I literally did a double take. And then I looked again and there were some half zebra, half horses. Oh, boy. I don't remember where the stripes. I feel like the stripes were like, I probably have a picture of that as well. I feel like from like waist forward was zebra, waist back was horse. Do you typically interact with this many animals in a given week?

No. I don't know what's going on with that. Yeah. But it is exciting when every day is so much filled with wonder. Do you have pockets full of apples? Is that what's going on? Could be. Probably, actually.

I'm a mom. I probably have cheese sticks in the bottom of my purse. Oh, yeah, sure. One thing zebras love is a baggie of Cheerios. Yeah. But seriously, when you see animals like that and just driving by, it's crazy. Yeah. I had a – speaking of Friday the 13th, I had a Friday the 13th experience today.

What happened? I was driving just, you know, driving around and I saw a young couple walking down the street with matching Jason t-shirts. They had matching bloody hockey mask t-shirts. And they were the kind of couple that would do that. They had a lot of like face and ear jewelry, like intense face and ear jewelry, gauges. Right. Like intense face and ear jewelry, gauges. Right.

And then they were holding hands, matching Jason shirts, you know, 90s hacker style facial jewelry. And they both simultaneously took a drag off their vapes. And I thought to myself, oh, I want that. I want, where's, where's my dirt bag? Where's my dirt bag significant other who I can wear matching horror t-shirts with? Anyway. And buy burritos, microwavable burritos. Oh, you know they were going to get a microwave burrito. They totally were.

You know they were. Yeah. That would be nice. One of these days, huh? Yeah. One of these days. There's someone for everyone out there. Yeah.

You know? I truly believe that in my heart of hearts. And, you know, every time I see a couple doing a couple-y thing like that, I always assume that one of them is more into it than the other and the other one is just kind of like going with it. But in this case, I'm like, I think they both is a challenge for a lot of folks with highly developed personal aesthetics that they're going to have to decide whether they are going to marry in or outside of their aesthetic. Their brand, as it were. Right, yes. So when I'm at the flea market on Sunday mornings, which is where I spend most of my Sunday mornings, I will see people in the clothing of the 1940s. These are people who have been doing this since 1990. Look, I was going to say 1995, but I'm going to say these people have been doing it since 1991.

They think the people who started doing it in 1995 are bullshit. Yeah. Exactly. So these are 54-year-old people. I remember watching... I remember watching the Super Bowl one year with a guy who was that. Who was a guy who had been doing it since 1991.

And this Super Bowl was the year that the Gap ad came out that introduced swing dancing to everyone. So it was a combination of year that like the Gap ad came out that introduced swing dancing to everyone. So it was a combination of swingers and that Gap ad that had Jump, Jive and Whale in it. Yes. And I remember the look on this guy's. And then so in the Super Bowl during the halftime show, there was some sort of swing dance number in it because, you know, maybe this was 1999 or something like that. Because, you know, maybe this was 1999 or something like that.

And I just remember him crossing his arms and looking at the swing dancers who were out there doing this thing that he had been committed to for years. Right. He might have even been in a swing band. He might have even been like the baritone sax guy. And I just remember him looking at this, at these Johnny Come Latelys running out on the field. And he just goes, Oh good. Here come the jitterbugs. It feels so rich.

Yeah. That's my fucking thing. On the way over here, I saw a poster for, it was like one of those things that they hang on the light, the lights, you know, what do they call it? Like light,

light posts when you're driving their advertisements for things going on in Los Angeles. And it had something for the Autry Museum. And I love the Autry Museum. And it's old-timey and kind of cowboy. I'm from Texas. I love that. I'm going to interject here and say I went to the Autry Museum and I thought it stunk.

Really? Oh, I just always think – It is the Gene Autry Museum of the American West. And it is – It's not old-timey? It is sort of. I've used the restrooms there. I've been adjacent.

I've done festivals outside of museums. Weirdly stuck between trying to be relevant and just being a pile of Gene Autry's shit. Is it not good Gene Autry stuff? So I would like it much more if it was just a bunch of sequined Western shirts. That, I'm there for that. In my mind, it's adobe. It's kind of like sort of Southwestern, but more of a California flair. There's a lot of pottery that's like kind of shiny, but the shine has started to, it's sort of shiny because it's so old, but it's starting to wear off because it's even more old.

And there's like a little place where you'd make guacamole, but that's probably not what it looks like at all. But wouldn't that be cool? There's a lot of mortars and pestles that you can use. Yeah, it's just all guacamole-making stations. Darn it. Well, I'll have to actually go. But what made me mad— So you can take your kid and you can help them live their dream of working at El Torito.

I went to El Torito for my birthday once. We're having a lot of fun coincidences on this show, by the way. Any kind of Mexican food. Like I said, microwavable burritos. That doesn't even count as Mexican food. But it's so good. Do you have a microwave burrito brand? Or is it just anything?

Anything you can throw in there. Oh, that one behind you, ma'am, at the cash register. Is there one with no meat? That's perfect. Do you have any salsa? Whatever is easy for the cashier to grab. And then it's so hot you can't even eat it because it's going to burn your mouth, but you eat it anyway because you're starving and walking into a concert.

And you know that inside is going to be kind of cold. Oh, no. It's burning. The inside is the hottest part. That'd be a good lyric for a song. The inside is the hottest part. Write that down. Yeah, yeah.

Inside is the hottest part. We'll take five points on the publishing. Perfect. That would sound great coming out of an animatronic chicken, by the way. Well, you know what? I was thinking about the animatronic animals. If you start bringing in things like tigers, it'll be too heavy metal. I love tigers, but certain animals, unless they're like Mrs. Howell from the Gilligan's Island,

unless they're not, you know. Well, what about Daniel Striped Tiger? Well, that's true. That's more of the stife stuffed animal tiger. That's a cute tiger. That's like a cub. Daniel Striped Tiger, I'd love to hang out with him right now. That'd be a cub.

That'd be a cute drummer, bass player. Yeah. That's true. Speaking of metal, I had an interesting live music experience recently. What was that? experience recently. What was that? I, in general, have a, have a, something I stick to, which is if someone wants to go to a live music thing and you're not doing anything, fucking go with them.

Yeah. It'd probably be pretty good. So I had a buddy who had an extra ticket to Megadeth and Scorpions. Oh, wow. And this is not. Rock you like a hurricane. Yes, yes, yes. I used to cover that song. Really? Yeah. And this is not – Rock you like a hurricane. Yes, yes, yes. Little, little, little, little, little.

I used to cover that song. Really? Yeah. I'm sure Robert Englund enjoys that. Oh, you think? Is he super – oh, did you see him there? No, I didn't. But I would imagine.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like one can presume. And I don't love – I'm not a metal guy, but this shit fucking ruled. It was so good. And I've learned later that maybe Dave Mustaine of Megadeth is a conservative asshole. He's a monster person. He is. He is. But they're really – it's weird when you see bands like that play.

And like I saw Paul Stanley play last year and Foo Fighters were playing. Like without Kiss? Like Paul Stanley just doing a – Yeah, he was with Foo Fighters. Oh, cool. And so they were playing and Foo Fighters are super intense. without Kiss? Like Paul Stanley just doing a – Yeah, he was with Foo Fighters. Oh, cool. And so they were playing and Foo Fighters are super intense. Yeah. And then Paul Stanley got up.

He was super intense. Like he was – you think Foo Fighters are arena rock? Yeah. It's probably like Scorpions. They get up and all of a sudden he's like beyond. Yeah. Like you see, you're like, oh, that's why he's so famous. Yeah.

Yeah. Like you see, you're like, oh, that's why he's so famous. Yeah. I mean, I think I think with Scorpions, every song, you know, like when you see a live show and the like final moments of the encore are so fucking, you know, it's our last song. It's our fucking hit. We're playing it. We're giving it all to you. Thank you, L.A. Greatest city in the world that kind of like you know that kind of

crescendo of the final song that is the entire hour and a half of the scorpions playing is that moment except for the power ballad stuff which fucking sucks but then they start that again and the moment after the power ballad is so amazing because you're like hey remember when we were just sitting on stools and playing acoustic guitars and you were fucking bored out of your mind? Here it's we're back. It was really amazing. It makes you realize when you're 14 or 15, that's why you want to be fully dressed in that attire. I went to see Extreme in Japan once.

This is so funny. A friend mentioned Extreme to me today. No way. That's so crazy. Anyway. I was there in Japan playing and they were there at the same time. And we might have the same record company or we ran into each other at Starbucks in Japan across from the hotel. But we went to go see their show.

We saw Nuno Betancourt and who's the lead singer? I don't remember his name. But anyway, we saw them and they were very, very nice. They were just at Starbucks having whatever, coffee probably. Is this a special rock star Starbucks that they have in Japan? We just ran into that. I know. I was like, oh my gosh, we just ran into a chain.

Initially, you were rebuffed, but then you put your glasses back on. Oh, yes, ma'am. Oh, yes. Come in. And they said, oh, do you want to come to our show? And so we went to their show later that night. Oh, and it was the most amazing night of my life because we were walking up the street, up a hill, and we passed the sign of a cat upside down. It looked kind of like one of those hang in there, it's almost Friday kind of cats.

It was sort of a relaxed cat with the paws up, sort of upside down, Japanese writing. And I was with my friend Miwa and my husband. But Miwa is also a translator. And I said, what is that cute poster, what, what is that cute poster? She said, oh, that's a cat cafe. I was like, what's, what's, what do you mean a cat cafe? And she told me about cat cafes, which now we have here, but it was the first time I'd ever heard of a cat cafe where you could go in and pay money to pet cats and eat treats

and like go on a date or go with your friend. And I couldn't believe it. It freaked me out. Oh my gosh. I almost passed out. I was like, we got to bring this back. Have you been to any local cat cafes?

No, I've been to CatCon. Oh yeah, I've also been to CatCon. I had a lot of fun at CatCon. So then we went to go see Extreme and we walk up the hill. It was that exact thing and I wasn't super familiar

with their music other than their ballad. Sure. But it was that thing where it was amazing. There was a lot of like leather or fake leather and like fast guitar playing

and lights and it was all double kick drums, I think. And then they played their ballad, which was amazing. And then that one was really good, though. Yeah. More than words. I've had a couple of metal legends on Bullseye over the years. And I will say we talked to Lemmy once. Oh, how could you understand exactly what he was saying?

He was literally, we booked it at the earliest that anyone was allowed to book things for him, which was 1 p.m. He had just gotten out of bed and he was drinking hard liquor. Wow. And he was an absolute delight. And he was an absolute delight. And the other metal legend that I've interviewed on the show is Rob Halford, who also is just the loveliest, most charming guy. Like the kind of guy that you would absolutely want to sit next to at an inner party, whether or not you knew that he was metal legend Rob Halford of Judas Priest. Just a joy.

The man was just a delight. And Lemmy was the same way. I mean, Lemmy is sitting there. He just woke up. He's drinking hard liquor out of the bottle and smoking a cigarette. We're sitting in a nightclub at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. And I am like, man, I wish this guy was my uncle. And I don't care about metal music.

I mean, I wish it the best. But, yeah, it's great. Can I tell, like, a third-hand Lemmy story that I've heard from someone who heard it from somebody? I insist. I'm a friend. Yeah. It might be wrong, but I like it. So I guess there was a time at the Rainbow Room on the Sunset Strip where Lemmy would sit at a video poker machine or something. And Danzig would sit at the bar and they wouldn't talk to each other.

And then that was happening. So they were doing that. It was a document. I was interviewing Lemmy because there was a documentary about Lemmy. And apparently that time for Lemmy, I can't speak to Danzig, but that time for Lemmy was the 70s until he died. Sure. Yeah. Until the moment of until the doctors pronounced him dead.

Just go to this one bar and drink there. And it's something where like some women came up to Danzing and they're like, oh my god, Danzing, can we get a picture? Can we get a picture? And Danzing gets off the bar stool and immediately they start laughing because of how short Danzing is. He's little. He's a tiny little guy. He's like my – he's smaller than – I him once, I think at an MTV thing or something. Yeah.

He was little. Or maybe I just saw him on TV when he had that huge hit. Yeah. Mother 93. Yes. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That would be another good Lisa Lowe cover.

I wouldn't have met him. I had 93 on that CD. I had that CD. See, I don't think I met him. I think I saw him. Yeah. No, maybe I didn't. No, I don't know.

Sorry, I'm mowing his lawn once. Yeah, yeah. Great guy, I don't think I met him. I think I saw him. No, maybe I didn't. No, I don't know. Saw him mowing his lawn once. Yeah, yeah. Great guy, I would imagine. So Danzig stands up. The women immediately start laughing and talking about how short he is. Danzig, furious because this is not his brand. Right. He's the son of the devil or whatever.

His brand is that he's the guy who's too intense to be in the misfit. Sure, yeah. Danzig storms out and then Lemmy starts laughing and says, I never get tired of that. Okay, we'll be back

in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la much of a mouthful for us. Yeah, and hey, of course, you know, you've heard us talk about chubbies on the show before. You know, they make great swimsuits. Oh, yeah. Great shorts. But. Polos.

If you want to stay cozy this fall, they've got a new outerwear collection. Oh, pullovers, zip-ups, vests. To keep you warm and looking fresh. And it's all wind-resistant and made with 100% woven nylon. It's super soft and warm. We got polar fleece and it's water resistant too. Yeah, so that's Chubby's. If you want to check out those swimsuits or that outerwear, you go to chubbies.com slash JJGO and you get free two-day shipping. That's chubbies, C-H-U-B-B-I-E-S

dot com slash JJGo to get your chubbies in just two business days. Chubbies dot com slash JJGo. I want to mention, please, I have a vintage store called the Put This On Shop,

and we have added so many amazing things for fall and winter. Right now I'm really into belt buckles. That's something I'm very into. I'm also into awards and prizes. Silver. I got this tug-of-war medal that I put on a necklace chain. So a pretty small tug-of-war

medal from England from the early 20th century. Maybe the late 19th century, that I got when I was over in England. There are so many cool new things in the Put This On Shop, and I think that no matter who you are, you will find a perfect gift for someone special or for yourself at putthisonshop.com. And you can get free shipping on almost everything in the store with the code TUPIES. TUPIES, T-U-P-P-I-E-S, at PutThisOnShop.com.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, now on, I'm going to claim to be friends with Lisa Love, just so you know. And friend. Yeah, no, you can. We have an agreement now. If I see you on TV, if I hear you on the radio, I'm going to say, oh, yeah, that's my friend, Jesse. You have to make agreements like that. Because it's happened to me before where I go, like I met an actor who I thought I knew because I talked to him in a parking lot when I was shooting a film, the same film he was shooting. And another actor friend was there. We were all talking together. So in my mind

we had a conversation in the parking lot. We conversed for a while. We're friends. Like, oh, if I see him on TV, I might even call him by his first name. Oh, there's Adam, my friend. And then I saw him again on a school tour here in Los Angeles. And his wife, who I didn't realize was his wife,

introduced me to him and he said, oh, hi, nice to meet you. I'm so-and-so. And I just sort of felt so embarrassed. I think I told was his wife, introduced me to him. And he said, oh, hi, nice to meet you. I'm so-and-so. And I just sort of felt so embarrassed. I was very impressed. I think I told him. I think I said to him, I thought we were friends. What happened? What did I do? I was very impressed.

You and I met like six years ago at a public radio program director's conference. I think we were about to meet Kai Risdahl. Yeah. But he wasn't at the party. Yeah. That experience of going to the public radio program director's conference, for me, was I think we were about to meet Kai Risdahl, but he wasn't at the party. just there to get them to carry my radio show. I'm miserable. I'm trying to figure out a way out of it. I'm looking for the woman who produces on the media, who's my favorite person to hang out with at that

because she swears a lot. Her name's Katya. So I'm like, I don't know. What am I going to do? Roman Mars isn't even here. You know what I mean? And I'm like, hold on. It looks like fucking Lisa Loeb over there.

Is that Lisa Loeb over there? I'm like, well, fuck it. I don't want to talk to these people. I'm going to go like fucking Lisa Loeb over there. Is that Lisa Loeb over there? I'm like, well, fuck it. I don't want to talk to these people. I'm going to go talk to Lisa Loeb. Lisa Loeb was very nice, hosting a children's public radio program at the time. Yes, yes. Also doing the same thing. Yeah.

Trying to talk to people. But it was fun because I sort of am a weird public radio groupie. Ah. Not groupie. I just listen to it all the time. Who did you want to meet at the public radio conference? Kyra's song. Yeah. Everybody wants to meet Kyra's song. I don't even know what the time. Who did you want to meet at the public radio conference? Kyra Stone. Yeah.

Everybody wants to meet Kyra Stone. I don't even know what he's talking about, but he sounds so happy about things. His fucking certitude is astonishing. Yeah. Oh, there's so many. Yeah. There would be a lot of people. That guy knows how to kill someone.

That guy was a career naval officer. That gives a whole other dimension to him. Yeah. He was briefly, I believe, he was a naval seal, Navy seal, and then he was in the communications in the Navy for a while. Yeah. He is like extraordinarily – like he gained his certitude through knowing that he can kill anyone that he's talking to. Wow. I had no idea. I just thought he seemed like this super, super smart guy who's just like, yeah, whatever. I'm really smart. Yeah. I saw him host an event at one of those things, and I had always thought this must be an act. I'm hosting an event at one of those things and I had always thought this must be an act like Kyra's doll's got to be faking this uh like there's 700 producers on that show they just

give him some stuff and he says it really clearly and emphatically and then handsomely he sounds handsome on the radio he doesn't he is a handsome man I heard he is I didn't even see his face and this son of a bitch did hosted a panel and it was the worst panel i've ever seen every person on this panel whoever put this panel together did a horrible job every person on this panel is a disaster they're so boring the subject matter is boring fucking kai rizdahl just put that panel on his back and carried it through like i'm sure he did one of his fallen comrades at iwo jima. Like it was astonishing, like how good at that shit fucking Kai Rizdahl is.

But I was very excited to meet you, Lisa. Well, it was nice to meet you too. And I listened to your show. So there you go. Yeah. You know,

I know you and Jesse have a, have a, have a thing where you're going to, you know, if you hear him on the radio or something, you're gonna say, Oh, there's my friend.

You can also do that. Can I request something a little different? Uh, I don't know. Let's see what that is. So here, so if you, you know, I mean, I'm not on the radio a lot, but if, you know, something happens and, you know, you're with people and I come up, would you please say, oh, that's my enemy

and then not explain it? Because I think that'll help my mystique. Oh, yeah. And I don't have really enemies. Yeah. And I wouldn't say it. I wouldn't say it. Yeah.

Jordan has a lot. Just kind of narrow your eyes. That's my enemy. Jordan has a lot of problems with mystique and I think you could really help him with this. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, thank you. That would be great.

Did you hear about that guy? Oh, I can't gossip. Can I claim that we dated briefly in the mid-1990s? Jordan and Lisa. I think that might offend some other people that I actually did date one other person. Right. When people, every once in a while, somebody says to me, yeah, we went on a date in like 1995. I'm like that wouldn't have been possible.

And I don't want to be rude. I don't want to be rude. Sure. Because I know there's some memories I have in my head that I know happened but maybe they didn't happen. Right. Or people in high school, I thought it was a date. Maybe they were watching you on MTV while eating dates. Yeah.

Then their just memory gets a little fuzzy. Or it could have been a date shake. Having one of those delicious date shakes that you can get out there. I've tried one of those, yeah. Date country. Strawberry and date shake. Central Valley? Cabazon.

Yeah, Cabazon. There you go. That's where you get a date shake. Cabazon is a good place to get a date shake. Strawberry shakes. Well, when something momentous happens to you, like you go on a date with Lisa Loeb in the mid-1990s. She's happily married now. Her husband works in the music business, then we encourage you to call us for our segment Momentous Occasions. The number to call is 206-984-4FUN.

Best thing to do, put it in your phone right now. You're probably listening on your phone. [phone]FUN. Let's take our first call. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, Gow. My name is Rachel, and I am calling from beautiful Bucks County, Pennsylvania, with a momentous occasion. I would like to share that my 15-month-old, Owen, has started to walk. Owen was born with a little bit of a delay, and he has been receiving physical therapy every week since he was 11 months old.

So I hope he's listening so I can tell him how proud I am of all his hard work, and I'm excited to see him be able to run around with his big brother, Elliot. Thanks, guys. So this is a really touching momentous occasion. I do have a concern. That babies are listening? Yeah, that babies may have been listening this whole time. Don't let babies listen.

This doesn't seem like a good thing for babies to listen to. Now, this has been an unusually, I would say, charming and wholesome episode. Yeah. You know, we started out talking about a cat dress. Right. I mean, it's only going to get pumpkins, pumpkins. It's only going to get cuter from there. Right.

But there have been some not so wholesome episodes of this episode of this show. And I fear for that baby and the monster he will become. They're trying to get their way. To see yourself on TV for a moment waving as the camera goes by on the Today show or something, or to just put your face in while a reporter is reporting something really serious, it just gives you that feeling that you're part of something big. I think that's happening. That's what the baby's trying to do?

The baby, she knows when the show's going to be on and the baby's going to listen to that section of that show. Maybe she's going to save it for him and it's like a time capsule. Oh. Oh, that would be nice. I love time capsules.

They're like, here's a little bit of your umbilical cord we saved and here's your bronzed booties. Did I mention on jordan desigo that uh like oh i just thought of it sorry a new business no please sure instead of bronzed booties it should be bronzed booty people should start getting their butt like turned into bronze and then they should put it on the that would be like an amazing thing that you could get can we make that beloved children's entertain. My wife hosts a smash hit parenting podcast.

I think we can make this happen. Kickstarter.com. Wouldn't it be amazing? Call me. But even for grownups, bronze booties. It's creepy with grownups. I would, I mean, I would like. Are you kidding me?

I would like that as a sensual gift from a lover. Really? A bronze booty. Oh my gosh. Would you like your butt or theirs? Their butt. No, I don't want to touch my, but if they're like, here is my butt.

Think of all the people who post pictures of their butt on selfies on Instagram. You see that stuff all the time. You don't even mean to look at it. All of a sudden there's like some, why are butts coming up on my Instagram account?

Would the hairs cause a problem? No, no, no. Would the bronzing process? Yeah, no, no. It's more like, you know. Would you wax first? Yeah, you get a pre-bronze wax, Jesse. Or maybe there's some, or maybe it's. And then a post-bron no, no. With the bronzing process? Yeah, no, no. It's more like, you know. You wax first. Yeah, you get a pre-bronze wax, Jesse. Or maybe there's some, or maybe it's

a post-bronze bronzer. Yeah. Or maybe it's like a coat of wax and then the bronze. Oh, right, right, right. Wouldn't that be amazing? Bronze booty? Oh, it's so good. No, I like it. I mean, it could be a touching childhood memento or an essential gift for a lover. Maybe the coat of wax is an extra $5

like the car wash. Yeah. It's like the layer of frosting before they put the fondant on to make it smooth. Right. Throw in a little two bucks extra new butt smell. Yeah. Get that little new butt smell in there. I would accept a butt made of fondant. That I would.

That would be great too. That I'm on board. But then you couldn't say bronze booty. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sorry that I messed up that one moment where the baby's listening to the radio. You're full of great business ideas, and if there's one thing I love, it's making money.

Sure, and I think— That's why I started this podcast. You know, the one with no premise. Cha-ching. Yeah. We got another call on that, Hopper? Yeah, I think so. Hi, JJ Go.

I have a momentous occasion to report. I was on a rather awkward date with a blue-haired girl who didn't want to talk. And so we were just walking around in silence, walking our dog. And suddenly a fleet of about 15 recumbent bicycles blew past us. Suddenly a fleet of about 15 recumbent bicycles blew past us. They all had flags hanging off of them and sort of whirligig sort of things spinning off the back. And they blazed past us. And we're in the south.

This was not Santa Cruz. This was not Portland. So it was unexpected, to say the least. And after that, the not-talking blue-haired girl invited me back to her car to smoke and then back to her house. So overall, pretty momentous occasion. Thank you, recumbent bicycles. Have a good day. Are we attributing false causality here? Sure, yeah.

I think the way in this guy is telling the story, recumbent bike equals horny. Which I'm not sure that... I don't know. I mean, I think you could make an argument for recumbent bike equals

want to smoke marijuana. Sure. Those things certainly seem to, I would believe, a relationship between those things. Because I would imagine as the recumbent bikes go by, you get a whiff of marijuana because the people

riding them have or are smoking marijuana. Yeah. So. I kept thinking the blue-haired girl was like his way

of saying she was an old lady. I was wondering that too. In the olden days. And then I thought she was a puppet. I don't know why. I kept imagining her as like a Muppet. And of course she was speaking.

Yeah, like a girl Grover type. He was like waiting for her to talk and he didn't realize like he was in charge of her talking. Oh, yeah. He's like, I need to do this. Oh, oh, oh, it's me. I'm the puppeteer. Have you ever. Oh, any brothers and sisters?

Have you ever had. What are you watching on TV right now? Lisa, have you ever had unnaturally colored hair? Yes, I have. Actually, that's funny. My daughter and I were talking about that just the other day. Whoa. In our car on the way to school.

A lot of convergences on this show. We see a lot of people with different color hair. And I said, when I was a kid, if you had different color hair, that was like a crazy thing. It wasn't just like any kid now in school or grandmothers. They have pieces of different color hair. It's just normal. It's like a normal thing. It wasn't just like any kid now in school or grandmothers, they have pieces of different color hair and it's just normal. It's like a normal thing. Mohawks are for jocks now somehow. Yeah. I said Mohawks, if you had a Mohawk, that was like seriously crazy. Or even if your hair was in your face, that was like, oh my gosh, if you're a boy. But all the little kids,

they all have different color hair. So I did had i was kind of goth at some moment i think i had my hair dyed black at some point do you remember what year what what year would this have been what was peak goth for lisa well i did some halloween goth like i would but i would really commit to it like in high school like 1984 85 86 and then i think in college like in the late 80s i think freshman year there were some maybe black hair. I don't know. And then also after college, there were some, you know, the band Delight, like Grooves in the Heart? Sure.

That kind of post-New Wave club look where I was going to dye my hair bleach blonde, but it hurt too much to get the roots. So they had to pour Sprite on my head because that helps the bleach thing. And we did it sort of an orange color. When you say they, you mean the band Delight? Oh, God, that would be cool. No. It was not Lady Miss Keir. Got it.

It was Richard Haler. It was a guy named Richard Haler who's got a wonderful salon in Dallas who's British. And I said, you've got to do my hair bleach blonde. I want it really like that white, white blonde. And he said, I don't do that. I can't do that. And he was British. I was like, please just do it.

He's like, I can't do it. And then finally he agreed. He's like, but don't do that i can't do that and he was british i was like please just do it he's like i can't do it and then finally he agreed he's like but don't tell anyone i did this because he didn't want to be known don't tell anyone that i poured sprite on your head well he wanted he didn't want it but so it ended up being this kind of like red new wave sort of clubby hair but i did have purple hair also at some point which another hairdresser said we have got to get rid of that right before I shot a video for a photo shoot for my first album, Tales. My mother's, a good friend of my mother who was her hairdresser for many, many years. He recently retired. Became her hairdresser because he had a shop on 16th Street in San Francisco where I grew up.

Which at the time that I was growing up there in the mid-1980s was a pretty salty neighborhood. And one of the things that they did was really intense punk rock haircuts. And he had a colleague whose thing was, and later it like appeared, he moved to New York and started doing it on the street and appeared in like fashion magazines doing this, was he would, you just gave him the money ahead of time, then he would drop acid. You would come back and he was allowed to do anything. That's amazing.

Yeah. Yeah, I'd get one of those. Did you have different color hair? No, I've never really done anything that weird with my hair. I had a couple weeks where I had cornrows in high school. That's really weird. No, you didn't. That makes up for everything.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's extreme. But I i could tell that my what style was that like was that associated with certain band or a trip you took to mexico no i think i just i had i definitely had a period in high school let's call it high school where i just wanted to be a look at me goofball i just like wanted to you know i just like i i think you think something I point to a lot on this show is like I wore bowling shoes a lot. Right, right. I didn't have a backpack. I had a bowling bag and like –

Right. You're an alternative. Sure, yeah. But not like goth alternative. But not like in any kind of – But not in any kind of like – not associating with any kind of subculture. Just like general goofball. Well, I think the subculture of theater club.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess like theater asshole for sure is one of those. Like a mascoty feel, but a little bit mascot, something totally different. Yeah. A little humorous, tongue in cheek. A female friend worked at Hot Dog on a Stick, and I wore her Hot Dog on a Stick uniform to school a couple of times. That's really good colors.

Yeah, those are good colors. Looks great on me too. It's kind of a new wave thing, even though it wasn't new wave era. Yeah, yeah. Neo new wave, I called it. What do kids do now though? Because all that stuff is everywhere. You can get that stuff at like Target now. That's what I was going to say about the posters

the things hanging on the wall about the Gene Autry Museum. It was this pink color was the background. And it made me want to go to the Autry Museum because I love that color pink so much. My second album, Firecracker, oh, which was actually the one that I had my hair dyed back brown for the Firecracker from the purple. That pink color, it's a salmony pink, and I love it so much. And now it's called Millennium Pink. Millennial Pink.

Millennial Pink. And everything is pink. You go into. Millennial Pink. Millennial Pink and everything is pink. You go into Target, you go to Ikea, everything is that pink. And so I have this weird feeling about it like, but that was my pink. The pink is the reason the chain restaurants are closing, right? But you know what I mean? Like they took my color. That used to be hard to find. I'm sick and tired of you Gen Xers blaming us millennials for stealing your culture. You stole my pink and you – I used to have a refrigerator that color.

I had to get it custom painted. They probably sell those now. You can probably just get a refrigerator custom painted. I guess if you are a kid who wants to be a-country type place, it's a little easier to freak out squares because there's probably still squares. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know what a modern urban young person does to stand out. I've been with rock musicians walking down the street or even going to a concert or your own concert, walking back to the venue through people going to your concert and seeing the people who are going to the concert dressed in their rock wear. And there's so much more rock than like the musicians.

Yeah, yeah. Someone tried to sell me a ticket to my own show once. I was walking back from taking a walk. Like, do you want a ticket to Lisa Lobo? I was like, it's okay. I already got one. This guy who has the $5 bootleg version of your t-shirt to sell you. Exactly.

Yeah. dollar bootleg version of your t-shirt to sell you exactly yeah um you know i bet i bet if you are a you know if you're a young kid you go to your you know your parents send you to a cool private school you know your name's pistol or whatever you just wear fucking slacks you wear a nice navy blazer right and you you have a bible that you pop open periodically i think the bible is what gets you and then then people are like, whoa. Yeah. All you got to do is, all you got to do to get that Bible is just stay in a Motel 6 once and you're set. Sure.

You know, I think that's a, I think we could figure out a way to freak out some squares at the Mount Washington Elementary School where my children go. I think we could come up with something, but it would definitely involve a press chino. Oh, yeah, sure. Flat front. Or like, what are those? Pleats. Pleat fronts.

Pleats. A belt. Oh, yeah. Maybe one of those braided belts. A braided belt. Braided belt would be good. I think like an Alex P. Keaton situation. Oh, sure.

I think that's how you would do it. Yeah. I'm not a prescriptivist. I'm not going to tell you that you have to make your children dress up like Alex P. Keaton to freak out the squares. I'm just saying it's possible. Yeah. I'm trying to think about that because when you're a kid and you want to be different, it's sort of nice to be someplace where everybody's different. Yeah, yeah.

I think it would be hard, though. I think it would be hard, though. I think, like, Lisa, I think you are lucky that your brand still feels appropriate. I think the real challenge for a musician is about the fact that when you are in middle age, if your brand at 27 was Marilyn Manson or something with cornrows. Sure. It's really – You're thinking of corn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like do you have to continue to do that thing in public?

Well, because you end up being Axl Rose, right? If you're lucky, you're Rob Halford and you have an iconic – you have an absurd iconic outfit. Larger than life. If you're Angus Young, you can just wear Angus Young stuff forever because you're a cartoon character when you're on stage. But would you wear that on stage? It's on stage. Yeah, on stage. But I think, you know, if you're Alice Cooper, maybe.

Yeah, Alice has to wear that outfit on stage. But if you're in Korn, what do you wear when you're 54? If you are a hostess at his sports bar in Arizona, you also have to wear that outfit. Wait, I haven't been to his place in Arizona. Do you really? Oh, it's fucking great. Yeah. The hostess has to wear the makeup and they don't like it.

Oh, wow. It's great. I need to go to Arizona. I haven't been there in a while. Yeah. My favorite thing in Phoenix, Alice Cooper's restaurant. I was there for six hours once. Oh.

Alicia, have you ever thought about- I love Alice Cooper. I'm friendly with Alice Cooper. Oh, nice. He's sweet. It's okay. You can say you're friends with Alice Cooper. I'm friendly with Alice Cooper. Oh, nice. He's sweet. It's okay. You can say you're friends with Alice Cooper. Friends with Alice Cooper.

I'm not going to call him up on the phone, but if I see him, I'll say, how's your dad? Yeah. He's a sweet guy, it sounds like. Yeah, he's very sweet. Yeah, that's awesome. Have you ever thought about – I mean, your new album is a collection of lullabies. Mostly covers. And adult-themed – not adult-themed lullabies.

I know, it's not like adult-themed. Adult-toned lullabies. Well, it's weird. It was funny. I thought in the middle of the night, I thought of the phrase, pull up the covers, because it's mostly covers.

I was like, wow, that should be in the press release. And there's two original songs on there. But I made it with this guy, Larry Goldings, who plays with John Mayer now. But Larry's a jazz pianist, and we had been trying to make some standards for a while. We did something years ago, Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries. We wanted to do something like that, and Amazon, who I've been working with, putting my records out, wanted me to do a Lullabies record. And I think initially they were thinking it was more like Rock-A-Bye

Baby and that kind of songs, like old-timey-timey rockabye baby and as we got to thinking about the songs we started thinking about the word play of songs like be my baby or ooh child um and then mix that in with some songs that we had been working on already like the sun will come out tomorrow uh and then rich jacks who was one of the producers on the record said said, oh, what about Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow? And then it became just some of our favorite songs from different eras. There's a couple of the songs. I mean, there's some songs. You don't change that much about Ooh Child aesthetically.

No, that didn't change a lot. But there are a few of the songs like Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow, which is not in its original conceptual lullaby. You couldn't figure it out. It was originally conceived as a campaign theme for Bill Clinton. Exactly. And a saxophone. Yeah, no. That's all I can think about when I hear that song.

Initially, I was like, I don't really want to do a Fleetwood Mac song because they kind of scare me and their songs are really witchy. Because they're so intimidating? Yeah, they're witchy. They're just witchy. I like Tusk. I think the Muppets did a version of Tusk once. And I love Mick Fleetwood.

But anyway, we started doing the song and we completely re-approached it in a different way. It sounds almost like a Sesame Street song kind of song. But yeah, we re-approached all these other songs and then realized it's not really a kid's record. There's no kid's songs on it. I think it's more like the olden days. Like when I was little,, you would listen to records. Your parents would listen to records or there'd be things on and you'd be like, oh, I like that.

I happen to be a kid and I like that. And I think this is like that. Yeah, I mean, the thing that surprised me was you've made a wonderful second career or side career of making great kids music. And sometimes it's kind of cute and funny in addition to being pretty.

Right. Yeah, it's fun to joke around and sing about disappointing pancakes and feelings. That's a fun one, that pancake one. But is it funny because the shape doesn't come out? It's just not very good for breakfast, for dinner. Yeah.

But it turns out it's very good at other things. It's not so disappointing after all, just like you and me. But this situation is more like, I mean, we're talking more like jazz drums in an organ type situation. No, this is more like you're just listening to a jazz, not a jazz record because it's not, it doesn't go all over the place. But it's a standards record with a little bit of a different approach leaning towards lullaby. I really enjoyed it. And I can tell you this, I picked up my son. My wife's out of town in New York as we record this, doing a One Bad Mother show. And I went and picked up my three-year-old from preschool just after lunch. He was acting a little crazy. He was a little out of control. I said to myself, this kid is kind of bonkers. I think he's going to need to take a nap. We try and avoid a midday nap because, you know, then he's up.

It's a whole fucking day. He likes Cheetos. We're not going to get into the whole. But I was like, you know, I'm going to listen to this Lisa Loeb album, see if it works. Yeah, confirmed. Nap time? Yeah. It's beautiful and functional, like a high-quality piece of furniture.

And I'm super into grown-ups napping, too. I actually took a nap before I came here. After being in the pumpkin patch all day, I said, oh, my God, I can't even keep my eyes open. You got the pumpkin sleepies. Oh, I was so tired. Yeah, the sweet, multicolored popcorn sleepies. I can't even think about pumpkin patches. I can't even think about pumpkin patches.

My only experience with one of those cut-your-own pumpkin patches was in Half Moon Bay, this kind of foggy town south of San Francisco. When I was four, I was in preschool. But I remember this. This is one of my only things that I remember very vividly from that age. Sounds like too young to be exposed to pumpkins. That's probably true. You really shouldn't be listening to pumpkins at this age. Parents, don't let your infants listen to this show or be around gourds. I'm just going to say gourds.

I think that's fair. But my friend Evan Larson, who's my friend to this day but my friend from preschool, he tried to – as a four-year-old at the pumpkin patch, tried to climb over a barbed wire fence. Oh, jeez. And cut himself so badly that he had to be like in the hospital. Oh, no. Yeah. That's like what, like every time you've said pumpkin patch.

You can think of it as like barbed wire. Like, please, can we talk about apple picking? Please. I got, when we went to, we went to a cut your own Christmas tree place and I got attacked by a jackal. Is that a mythical creature? No, no, no. But, you know, you could probably put its head on an eagle and have some sort of fucking nightmare.

To be fair, Cutting Your Own Christmas Tree is a weird activity on a Saharan safari. And I'm Jewish, so. Oh, boy. We don't cut our own menorahs or. You go to the menorah farm. Go to the potato factory and pick potatoes. Yeah. These pumpkins, by the way, I thought they were all fake.

I thought in my mind I'm like they are all just sitting on top of the ground and kids go and they pick up the pumpkin and you leave and they're all the smaller ones that came with the school field trip. But my son and I were looking and we did notice that some were actually growing on vines from the ground. Yeah. So I don't know if that was originally where they grew those pumpkins or they moved them over. I don't know. Is it a sportscaster's hair situation where there's some original hair and some that has been –

Magnetic hair. Right, yeah. Like from those little things you draw with it. Some woolly willies. Yeah, yeah. Did you get a good pumpkin? We got two great pumpkins, one for my son, two small ones. I'm going to get the real ones at the grocery store. No offense. They're just cheaper there. Yeah. Did you get a good pumpkin? We got two great pumpkins. One for my son. Two small ones. I'm going to get the real ones at the grocery store.

No offense. They're just cheaper there. Sure. No, that's true. I mean, that's just cost conscious. It really is. We got to get the big ones. You're going to do some carving?

Oh, I love carving pumpkins. I got to tell you. It used to be a really big deal and it still is. But now I just wait till that day and I make two cat pumpkins. Oh, hell yeah. Triangle eyes. Take the eyes. Stick them on the head with cat pumpkins. Oh, hell yeah. Triangle eyes. Take the eyes, stick them on the head with toothpicks. Oh, yeah.

Quick whiskers. I just do it really quickly with a knife. Yeah. That sounds- Roast up the seeds. Yeah. Then we put out our huge Star Wars Halloween extravaganza. You have a Star Wars Halloween extravaganza?

What is that? It's crazy. My husband's obsessed and we have Jabba the Hutt. We've got – who do we have? We have R2-D2, C-3PO, Darth Vader. I feel like we have Yoda. And I remember he was gone one year and I was like, I can't put these robots – I can't put R2D2 next to Jabba right they need to be

I just wanted to make sure I strategically was placing them in the right place sure I kind of want to secretly put a Hello Kitty one out there I bet there's a Hello Kitty Star Wars

but no we have a whole Star Wars theme hell yeah yeah sounds cool do you does he do this because

I wish we could just have him up all year round I'm not trying to be flippant here but it's not a particularly Star Wars oriented because I wish we could just have them up all year round I'm not trying to be flippant here but it's not a particularly Star Wars oriented

holiday I was just gonna ask are the Star Wars characters also dressed as things? Yeah they're dressed they're in costume as themselves they're just wearing

those kind of plastic bib costumes of themselves I should put them in costumes you could make Darth Vader dress up as Thor.

Or like Evil Knievel. Sure, yeah. Or a hobo. Just like a classic Halloween costume. You know, it doesn't have to be

something pop culture. Something traditional. Just put a white sheet over it. Halloween for me is all about tradition. Sure. Classic hobo,

Star Wars figures. The reason for the season. Yeah. Yeah. Cat, jack-o'-lanterns. Mm-hmm. That cat thing, that's, I mean, that is brilliant because the jack-o'-lantern eyes would make some cute little cat ears.

Exactly. And then I usually do some extra, sometimes I do some extra holes around it so there's more light coming out. Yeah. Do you, well, when I was in elementary school, the twins at my school abe and josh bingham their parents would put on a gargantuan pumpkin carving party at their house knives yeah right there on shotwell street oh my gosh uh and uh kids downstairs carving pumpkins grown-, keys in the bowl, everybody upstairs. Yeah. And the thing that I remember being jealous of was that they always had a ton of special pumpkin carving knives.

Oh. Those kind with a pumpkin handle. Sure. And a little nose, and they're serrated, but they're skinny. They had those at the pumpkin patch today. Sorry, I said pumpkin again. It's fine. And they had a drill, too. You could drill holes in the pumpkin.

A drill? Kind of like a Christmas, those Christmas paper bag things with the hole. You know, what are those things called? I know what you mean, yeah. Like a little light source. Like a lantern-y thing? Like a papel picado? I don't know.

Okay. Yeah, papel picado. I think that's what that's called I don't know. Okay. Yeah, papel picado. No, I think that's what that's called. What does that mean? Paper with holes in it. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. And it's got the little candle in it.

But so they had a drill, they had a pumpkin drill and a pumpkin scraper and all that. Is that the same thing? Yeah, and they have this special, and their pumpkin scraper is shaped like a fucking pumpkin. And it's got like little serrated sides. We just use a spoon. It's perfect for scraping. Oh my God. I told my son we couldn't have it.

I said, we don't need that. We'll just use a regular spoon. You don't need a whole separate pumpkin thing. I felt like my dad. I'm like, we don't need a pumpkin carver. Well, you're the – We use a knife. Get some use out of it.

Let's use a knife. You can just like use it as tableware later in the year, right? You're down to earth. Just because you're friends with Alice Cooper and Jesse Thorne from Public Radio doesn't mean that you need to be all fancy and scoop pumpkins with a spoon. Look, you can scoop pumpkins with a spoon. Your hands. Just like a regular Joe. Like before the pilgrims celebrated the first Halloween, they didn't have knives shaped

like pumpkins. No, sir. All they had was smallpox-infested blankets. Yeah. And corn cobs. Yeah. And corn cobs. The scariest of the vegetables.

Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Hello. I'm Kerry Poppy. And I'm Ross Blotcher, host of MaximumFun.org's Ono, Ross, and Kerry. We wanted to tell you the good news that our podcast is now weekly. Yeah, weekly. On Ono, Ross, and Kerry, we don't make extraordinary claims. We investigate them. We go undercover with fringe religious groups, investigate paranormal claims,

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We show up so you don't have to. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Are you sad and confused about world politics? Worried about the upcoming inevitable nuclear war? Or maybe a rat is living in your house? There's a rat living in my house. How do you get rid of a rat from a house? Why not immerse yourself in a completely fictional

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or maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts from. Oh, God, there's the rat. Oh, God. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And Lisa Loeb, and friend.

Lisa, what a joy it's been to have you on the program. Thank you so much. It's been so fun to be on the program. I want to go eat some pumpkin. No. No, I'm thinking of barbed wire injuries. I know. Because I'm very empathetic.

You guys know that about me. I'm an empath. Yeah. You can make things float, too. This is probably why we've been doing- An empathetic telepath. Yeah. Yeah. So. You can make things float too. This is probably why we've been doing. An empathetic telepath. Yeah. This is probably why we've been doing Jordan, Jesse Goh the last 10 years, right?

Sorry. Telekinesis I know is levitating. Telepathy is mind reading. Oh, right, right, right. Okay. Sorry. I was just. I was anticipating some X-Men related corrections coming down on Twitter when this drops.

Anyway. I'm more into teleconferencing. Oh, that's nice. With Cisco Telepresence? Yeah. Oh, good. That's my favorite company. I think we've been – ever since we had our 500th episode, Jordan.

Yeah. We've been talking about – What a ride. What a ride. We've been talking about why are we here? Why have we done this? Sure. Why have we thrown so much of our lives down this hole?

And I think the answer is. Go ahead. I think the answer is so that on episode 504 or whatever this is, we could learn that I'm allowed to say I'm friends with Lisa Loeb. And I'm her enemy. And. And this is great. She's my enemy. That was really convincing, by the way.

I really was sensing that we were locked in some sort of combat. Anyway. I don't know if you know this, Jordan, but our friend Dave Shumka, the host of Stop Podcasting Yourself, which is also celebrating its 500th episode, he and I often will, because we're similar guys with similar outlooks on life and

similar places in our lives, we'll often have these coincidental things come up on the show. And then Dave will talk about something on Stop Podcasting Yourself and somebody will be tweeting at me, oh, Dave just talked about the ants getting into his house or whatever it is. to his house or whatever it is. Anyway, I just want Dave to know that one of the things that has been coincidental

in our lives is we both had adolescent crushes on Lisa Loeb. I just want him to know that I'm friends with her and he's not. So suck on that, Dave. Oh, Dave,

we went to religious school together. Oh, God damn it. There you go. No, no, no. I'm just kidding. God damn it. Shumka beat me again. You'd love Dave Shumka.

Great guy. Graham Clark. Anyway, Lisa's new album is called- I hear he reads a mean Torah. Yeah, he sure does. Lisa's new album is called Lullaby Girl. You can get it on Amazon. And I'm telling you, I mean, I said this sort of jokingly at the beginning, but I have Amazon Prime.

I'm not bragging. It's just kind of my lifestyle. It's like a lifestyle thing. It kind of is. Sure. I have the Amazon Prime. I'm not bragging. It's just kind of my lifestyle. It's like a lifestyle thing. It kind of is. Sure. I have the Amazon Prime subscription. So two days shipping is free for basically anything I want in the world, as long as I'm willing to punish a few warehouse workers. And one of the things it comes with is you can get that Amazon Music app, and there's tons of music that you can stream for free.

And one of the things that you can stream for free is Lisa's new album, which is a joy. Thank you. So go give it a listen. And then if you like it, you can buy it so that Lisa gets to take home some of your money. Yeah, like a couple of cents. You can go see Lisa out on the road, whether she's performing for adults or children. It will be a joy either way. It really will.

And you can just check out lisalobe.com because I go to lots of different places. Yeah. Yeah. Where there is wildlife randomly running by. Yes. Okay. Yeah. And possibly you might see some animatronic backup singers soon.

Yeah. So if you have some anachronistic beasts in your town, check out lisalobe.com. She's probably coming there. You know what I think would be nice? Do you remember years and years ago on Jordan, Jesse, Go? I became obsessed with a toy on the Antiques Roadshow,

a pole pig called Chompers, the power pig. Yep. I think Chompers would make a great member of Lisa's band. Sure, sure. I think Chompers could do this. member of Lisa's band. Sure, sure. I think Chompers could do this. He's perfect.

I didn't. I got it. Maybe Chompers as Lisa Loeb. Put some glasses on there. Yeah, I have an eyewear line. You just wear a pair of glasses. Just look like me. This is maybe going to break both your hearts, but I did not mention this about the concert I went to.

Chompers playing bass for Megadeth. Oh, gee whiz. He is more extreme. He's a little more on the extreme side of things. Yeah. Very technical. Just personality-wise. Very technical bass playing.

He's virtuosic. I mean, like, one of the things is, like, if your dad says, turn that noise off, you can say, he's virtuosic. He can play, like, you know, show me Les Paul playing this fast. Sure. You can tell your father when he tells you that metal's not music, only jazz is music. You say, well, I'd like to see Les Paul play this fast as Chomper is the power pick. Yeah. 1985 dad.

Yeah. Oh, 1985 dad will get you. Casey O'Brien on the boards for this week's program. Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. You can join us on Twitter with the hashtag JJGo. Jordan is at Jordan underscore Morris. I am at Jesse Thorne. And Lisa, you're at Lisa Loeb, right?

Yeah, lisaloeb.com. That's a good follow. Yeah, that's a good follow. I agree. Find out what's going on with my friend Lisa Loeb. And yeah, you can join us on Reddit, maximumfun.reddit.com. Always a good Jordan, Jesse, go chat there on any given episode. A lot of fun going on on their Reddit.

And you can join the Maximum Fun group on Facebook where there is always a lively discussion of things that are going on. of things that are going on. I bet that by now, someone has already taken the clip of Chompers the Power Pig on Antiques Roadshow and matched it up with one of the hit songs. Pete sells, but who's buying?

See if you can fit one of those Chompers the Pig on one of my songs and you can put it on the official Lisa Loeb Facebook page. Wow, okay. Yeah. And by the way,

accept no substitutes. Don't just put it on any Lisa Loeb Facebook pages. There's a lot of bootlegs out there. Go put it on the official Facebook. We're sick and tired of this bullshit we've had to put up with, with people putting up fake Lisa Loeb. Hold, hold. Sometimes it says,

Lisa Loeb, known for her work with Lisa Loeb and Nin Stories. No, that's not the real Lisa Loeb. Yeah. I did actually the first – I started my Twitter right when it came out. I don't know how many years ago. That was like 10, 12 years ago.

And I made my name on Twitter, Lisa Loeb number four real. Lisa Loeb for real. Because that way people would know it was real. So, you know, a few years later I had to change it. I can't argue with that. Because it sounded so fake. Yeah. I think it would be good.

It would help people know that you're real and help people know that you're hosting an early 90s dance music show on MTV. Yeah. And I think Trump is, that's what his is called, right? Trump for real. Yeah. Right. Yeah, and I think Trump is, that's what his is called, right? Trump for real? Yeah, right, yeah. I think he's like the real Donald Trump. Well, that was what his high energy act was called Trump for real. It was him and one of the weather girls.

She did the vocals. He did the beats. It was a lot of fun, though. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported.