Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 520: Daddy's Buns with Ben Harrison

Episode Date: February 27, 2018

Jordan and Jesse take a break from their usual uninformed Paleo diet talk to chat with friend and podcaster from MaxFun shows The Greatest Generation, The Greatest Discovery, and now Friendly Fire.  They get into the surprisingly good Bloodhound Gang cover Jesse heard at a college basketball game, Jordan's fear of getting hit in the neck by a paintball, and the reason you should consider hanging in there with a cult. 

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Have you gone paleo? Well, we have. Every week on Jordan, Jesse Goh, we talk about nuts, meats, cheeses, vegetables. But not fruits. Too much sugar, maybe. You know, it's hard to say, but we'll get to the bottom of this.

And more questions like, what is an ancient grain? And is it part of this? Yeah. This week's episode, spelt? Sure. Things I've gleaned while buying a smoothie. Boy, does it strike. I know Jesse.

Yeah. I have a lot of fun every week on the Paleo cast. Right. I especially love that time. Which is what you call Jordan Jesse Cuff. Yeah. And I especially loved that episode where we welcomed on that paleo-entologist. Right.

And asked them if the diplodocus ate acai berries. You know what? I got to talk to a paleo-gastroenterologist. Oh, yeah? Yeah. My tract is a mess. Oh, boy. Too many nuts, I think.

I think something – and this is some criticism I've seen about the show online. Yeah. And usually I like to ignore the haters. Sure. You know that about me. You love to brush them off. Yeah. There they go again, you say, them haters.

Yeah. They're going to hate. Yeah. It's in their nature. Sure. But, I mean, I do think some of the haters do have a valid point in that we have not researched this and don't know anything about it. Right. We're just guessing.

Right. We have not researched this and don't know anything about it. We're just guessing and saying words we've picked up from conversations and things we've overheard. I read that review, too. And I feel like we're not getting credit for having had those smoothies. That's true. We did get them, and we did notice signs in the smoothie store. Yeah. And we brought some of that lingo onto the show. I took notes.

Yeah. Oh, that's great. Look at this. Acai. Sure. You wrote that down. Yeah. Ancient grains, question mark.

Mm-hmm. How ancient? Mm-hmm. I wrote. Mm-hmm. Ghost grains? How much do Josh and Chuck from Stuff You Should Know actually know? That's true.

Not much. They're making most of that up. I know these guys. Yeah. I mean, honestly, their whole episode about the hanging gardens of Babylon was gleaned from stuff they picked up while buying smoothies. Yeah. They watch a ton of Love Boat and then they make episodes. So, but, I mean, listen.

I, you know, if everybody else jumped off a cliff, would you too? Just because the guys from, hold on, I'm making a point. Okay. Don't jump off that cliff just yet. Just because the guys from Stuff You Should Know are wildly irresponsible with their research. Not just irresponsible with their research, sexually irresponsible as well. Sure. They love to bear back.

They spread their seed far and wide. Yeah. These are sexually irresponsible as well. Sure. They love to bear back. They spread their seed far and wide. Yeah. These are married men. The anonymous-er the bearer is their slogan, I've heard. Especially Chuck. Because we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard. Uh-huh. Journalistically.

Right. Sexually. Uh-huh. Married-ery. Sure. So we need to be, at once, more... Marriedery. More, we need to have more integrity as journalists.

Right. We need to insist on wrapping it up. Right. Even if our lover shows us a current STD test. Right. And also, we need to marry more people. Yeah. And in your case, you know, at least a second person, maybe a third.

I'm going to make my side family official. Yeah, really. Yeah, come out with that side family. Yeah. So let's just own up to the fact that we don't know anything about the paleo lifestyle. Right. I know a little bit about like cavemen in the Ice Age. Let's just own up to the fact that we don't know anything about the paleo lifestyle. Right. I know a little bit about cavemen in the Ice Age.

That's later. Sure. Giant sloths. I've seen three of the six Ice Age movies starring the rat who wants a nut. Sure. I always like those. I've seen TV commercials for Madagascar. Is that part of it? Nuts.

I think that's part of it. Yeah. Anyway, that rat rats on to something. Our producer Brian is so excited that he answered you. He's a big Ice Age head. As though he had a microphone. Brian loves woolly mammoths with the voice of Queen Latifah, I think. Who wouldn't?

Yeah. So let's just say next week we're going to do a ton of research. Yeah. We're going to really dig in. Right. Is there a counter at Whole Foods we can visit? Maybe. Yeah.

Who knows? Hard to say. But we'll go in there and we'll ask around. Yeah. So let's do that. Next week we're just devoting ourselves to finding out about the paleo diet and lifestyle. I bought an Aloha shirt and I'm going to go undercover at Trader Joe's. I think that's great.

That's one of the captains. That's what they call the managers. Four bell alert. Yeah. I have a friend who works there. So next week we're going to do our research. This week is just kind of a stopgap holdover kind of thing. Let's just

chat. We don't have to know about the subjects we're talking about. Right. But let's not salt the wound of the paleo enthusiast more by potentially

giving out more misinformation. Let's invite one of our nerd friends. Yeah. That sounds good. Maybe let's not insult them

right off the bat. Right. He knows what he is. But, I mean, you know, some people out there I've heard are proud geeks. This guy's no Chuck Bryant sexually. I'll tell you what I am. But, I mean, you know, some people out there I've heard are proud geeks.

This guy's no Chuck Bryant sexually. I'll tell you what I am. I'm fucking pissed. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Wrong foot. I thought I was going to come in here and learn how to fucking shape up, get the right food in my mouth. Sorry, Softie. Now, Mr. Softie.

Now I'm finding out that you guys know as little about what you talk about as I do about what I talk about. Ladies and gentlemen, he's the host of three smash hit podcasts, soon to be two. One of them going down in flames right now. The Greatest Generation. That one is about Star Trek. It used to be about Star Trek The Next Generation, and the name made a lot more sense. Yeah. Then the second one is Friendly Fire.

This one is about war movies. And the third one is The Greatest Discovery. That's about the Discovery Channel. Yeah. I think. Yeah, we just, as, you know, because the Star Trek theme appealed to nerds. Ben Harrison.

Hi, Ben Harrison. That's his name. Yeah. I just, I count on you guys to be professional broadcasters. I don't have any of those skills. Prime mistake. Anyway, go ahead. Yeah.

Greatest Discovery obviously just appeals to nerds who also watch Discovery Channel. Right. Exactly. You know those nerds. Yeah. They love calculators, the Discovery Channel. Yeah. Albert Einstein.

I want to mention something because the Discovery Channel came up. This is a thought that fleeted through my head earlier today, and I thought, I should remember to mention this on Jordan Jesse Go. And immediately after, I thought, no context will be appropriate for me to mention this. But you two have stumbled into my trap. Oh, good. You know that song, You and Me, Baby, Ain't Nothing But Mammals? Oh, sure. Yeah.

That song, a smash hit novelty dance song from- Bloodhound Gang? Bloodhound Gang. 2000? I was going to say, I feel like I remember it in people's cars in high school. Okay. So I would say mid-90s. That sounds good.

Yeah, right. Okay. I think we can all agree, without saying anything personally about the Bloodhound Gang, that it's a banger. Yeah. If I'm, listen, I could be- The club is fucking lit when that shit drops. Sorry.

You don't want to say anything personal about the Bloodhound Gang. I bet they're good folks who love their parents. But it's a horrible song. One of the worst hit songs of our lifetime. It's a real fucking nightmare. Is that the thing that you thought to say on Jordan Jessica? Hold on, hold on. Today, I was at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Because I'm just wondering, you came in here expecting to talk about paleo. So what the hell does Bloodhound Gang have to do with that? Okay, don't pull at these strings. This whole thing unravels, man. It is funny that alternative radio in our day, you could have a hit song that is something that should have just been on dr demento yeah like there was a little period where you could just have a goofball song and then it would just be i don't do is there a modern example of i think what's going yes it's uh lmfao oh sure sure sure shot shot shot shot still plays on the hip-hop station right in los ang. It makes me want to shoot myself.

Speaking of horrible novelty songs. Yeah. But I've never seen a member of the Bloodhound Gang in an airport. That's so... Maybe they're not flying. Let's be honest. I probably have. I just didn't notice.

I wonder if this is a reverse of what we learned a few weeks ago, or maybe that I learned, that apparently you and Nick Adams already knew that Jamiroquai was a band and not a guy. Yeah. J.K. is the guy. What if Bloodhound Gang is a guy? That's his first and last name, Bloodhound Gang. So I was at the University of California, Los Angeles at the Pauley Pavilion, the hallowed halls, the home of champions. I don't care about it. But I took my daughter to see a college basketball game.

Okay. And it was a good time. It was a women's game, so there weren't super many people there. So we got really great seats for like $10 a piece or something. And there's cheerleaders and a band. And the band at one point, it was the full UCLA band, which I'm going to say represented 20% of the total attendance of this game. It's like 125 band members. Yeah. 125 band members and like 400 ladies who are taller than you expect them to be.

You're just like, oh, look at that. You know what I mean? And they at one point, I couldn't tell you why, were playing a song and I was like, this song kind of goes. This sounds dope. This sounds good. Way to go, UCLA band. This is fun. And then I'm like, wait a minute.

This is that Bloodhound Gang song. So I can tell you, if you've got 12 tubas doing a dance, that Bloodhound Gang song sounds pretty dope. Wow. It kind of jams. Yeah. Dramatically better than the recording. I feel like you add brass to any song and it's kind of awesome. Yeah, that's a good point.

Like any like big band version of any hit song is going to be like, all right. That should have been, I don't know if you saw that Muscle Shoals documentary about the legendary recording studios in Alabama that gave so many people so many amazing hits. studios in Alabama that gave so many people so many amazing hits. The subtitle of that should have been Muscle Shoals, colon, add brass to anything and it's pretty good. So do you think that if we were to- It's like Old Bay for music. If we were to find, if we were all to like kind of go around and brainstorm our like most hated songs, maybe concentrating on that era of music.

So just, could you pull out an Offspring Greatest Hits album for me? I was about to say my high school band's big like banger was you got to keep them separated. Yeah, I bet it was. But that was like appropriate for the time. Yeah. That was like, anyway. I have to say we did not have that type of band in my high school. I had like an orchestra. But at my best friend Petey's high school where he played on the football team, they were about it about it. If we were to find our most hated songs and then go down a YouTube hole and try and find high school marching band recordings of them, that would be the case all around?

Like, for instance, would a marching band pep up Papa Roach? I guess is the big question. That, to me, is like if that could work with Papa Roach. I mean, the thing is about that Bloodhound, I was trying to think, what is it about this that is making it work so well? Sure. And I think- You don't have to listen to the lyrics? Yeah.

You don't have to listen to the lyrics. You don't have to listen to the unpleasant kind of low quality dance beat that is the only orchestration. Like, that just sounds like- The thing that was already in the keyboard. Yeah. exactly. And there's a lot of room to play, and they've had a lot of time to work on it. This is 20 years of focused effort on behalf of that band director adding filigrees to that song.

And it's worked so well that despite the total lack of interest in or desire for performances of that song in 2018, that choir director or that band director has kept it in because he knows that it hits. Is the main superpower of band director just like not – like having a super high tolerance for hearing a song over and over again, despite how horrible it is. So this is an interesting thing. Yeah. The fact that this person, the band director in question, has kept this song in the rotation. Right. And has probably heard it like 25,000 times and some of the times when nobody knows it yet. Sure, yeah.

He was like, I had to drop Zombie by the cranberries to add this in. So this is staying. Yeah. Like if you look at like songs that are kind of adjacent to that, like there is, you know, there is kind of there's a fondness that kind of teeters between sincerity and irony for like bare naked ladies one week yeah smash mouth's all star right uh m&m hi my name is yeah brass band version of that though um it would take so much effort for me to generate any fondness for that song but this i mean it seems like this this particular song are there people who are still like, you know what? It's like who talks about Bloodhound Gang in this day and age?

You know what? Do you think there's a pocket of Bloodhound Gang heads out there? I don't myself. Yeah. But if you have a laptop or something, I can go to my favorite Usenet news group, rec.fan.greenjello. Yeah. And I'll talk to my fellow Jell heads. Sure, yeah.

And see how it goes. By the way, we don't even acknowledge Green Jelly. Sure. Their name after they got sued by Jello. Yeah, Jello or nothing is what you say. Yeah. Anyway. I have an acapella group that does Three Little Pigs.

I had that Bloodhound Gang CD. Wow. Anyway. I have an acapella group that does Three Little Pigs. I had that Bloodhound Gang CD. Wow. Really? I did. What are the other songs on it? Well, there's a song, like, very late on the album that I don't really remember much about. I think it is Vanilla Ice in his, like, hardcore persona. Is that a thing?

It happened. Yeah, there was a period. So there was, like, one kid in my high school that listened to hardcore and he was like the hardcore kid because I went to a very small high school and I like tried to bond with him over that. I guess I don't know where you went to high school. I went to high school in a small town called Danville, California. Beautiful. Beautiful country. It was a little private hippie high school.

Okay. Gavin was like, I played that for him and I was like, what do you think of this? And he was like, all right, yeah, this is fucking dope. Gavin was into it. This song is great. And then I like revealed who it was and he was not. Sure. And that is the origin story of the Proud Boys.

Oh boy. He's like, I'm never jacking off again. Whoa, why? First to Vancouver to start a magazine. That's like really emblematic about why I didn't really have many friends. Right, because you tricked people into listening to Vanilla Ice. You should have just been about it, about it. So Gavin liked Fugazi and late period Vanilla Ice, apparently.

Yeah. That's pure. Well, Vanilla Ice at the time was doing a lot of shows at Gilman Street. Sure, yeah. Just like all ages. Yeah. Started around 2 p.m. Yeah.

Bring a can of food and you're in. And he had a horn section. Sure, yeah. What's the rest of the Bloodhound Gang's music like? It's basically that, I think. Like there's a song about trying to find a word that rhymes with vagina. That's like the entire premise of the song. Cool.

Solid, solid. Very rich. Rich stuff. I like that. I don't remember much else. Is there a ballad? Probably. I mean, I definitely had the Green Jell-O CD.

In my own defense, I was 12. I guess I don't know. I know Green Jell-O. I was just lost. I know Green Jell-O as a goofy 90s punchline, but I guess I don't even really know what they are. What were Green Jell-O? They were like a heavy rock novelty band whose hit song was called Three Little Pigs. Okay.

I don't remember anything about the contents of the song though I definitely had the CD and listened to it a lot. Okay. I bet, like,

it's one of those things where I genuinely could not tell you one lyric from the song or one melody right now. Do you think it would be a thing if someone turned it on and you could just sing along?

I bet I could just sing through the whole thing. Oh, yeah, well, there you go. It would I bet I could just sing through the whole thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, there you go. It would just be like, womp, and I'd be 12 again. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if they were – I mean, the thing about Bloodhound Gang and that song

and it was – Just a fallacy of thinking this is my pathway to coolness. I will be accepted here in high school, finally. Sure. Do you remember buying it? Why you did? Like where you first heard You and Me Baby Ain't Nothing But Mammals? Did an uncle give it to you for your birthday?

You got it where? The warehouse? I think I got it used in the used bin at Amoeba Music on Telegraph in Berkeley. Okay. There's like most of my music collection came from there. So, yeah, I maybe was thinking about that song or something else. I don't know. I couldn't tell you.

I'm sure like Green Jello, I would be transported back to, you know. The most sexual time of your life. Right, yeah. Just plowing your way through that hippie high school. Corduroy pants and simple shoes and two big t-shirts. Airwalks, maybe? Simple shoes are back. Larry David is wearing them a bunch in his TV show.

Simple, the brand of sneaker. That's a good sign of what is and isn't in style. Yeah. What Larry David is wearing. The fucking back, baby. There is a sneaker trend that is really upsetting to me. I don't know if you know about this, Jordan. So I haven't been a sneaker head in a decade or more.

You can just say head. We know what you're talking about. I don't want people to think I'm talking about my shop. Sure. For tobacco use only. Yeah.

I haven't been like a true sneaker head in quite a while. But I'm on board with your ultra boosts, your fly knits, your prime Knits.

All these are fine with me. These newfangled sneakers that seem like they're from space, I think they're all right. They're comfortable. They look kind of neat. I'm on board with all of it. But the latest sneaker trend among the – they're called hype beasts. That's a category of people who line up to buy Supreme shirts. Is basically Skechers.

Okay. In fact, the guy who sort of started this is a stylist who's a stylist for like Justin Bieber and stuff. And he just literally started wearing Skechers. Right. As a kind of normcore move? Like a beyond normcore move. Gotcha. So, like, it's like what's weird is that normcore was like a kind of world of mostly high fashion people.

Lexa Chung, famously. Fashion it girl, Lexa Chung, right? Alexa Chung, famously. Fashion it girl, Alexa Chung, right? And it kind of trickled in weird ways down into street wear, like, you know, the period where all of Kanye West's clothes were taupe. Khaki. Sure. Just various sand colors.

Yeah. And this is like that. Is Norm Corp part of Man Repeller? No. Man Repeller, I think, is a nice thing. I think people like Man Repeller. Wait, I don't know what that is. It's a blog. Yeah, but I think it's also like a way of dressing.

I think it's a lady. Yeah, a lady way of dressing. Is it like that you dress like you bought your clothes in the Atlantic catalog? I mean in the advertisements in the back of the Atlantic magazine? I feel like when we have gone to a thing and my wife has said, oh, she's real man repellery, it's been like culottes and a wedgie shoe that is not necessarily aesthetically pleasing in the super basic. Sure, like a clog.

These are clog people. Right, like the basic way that TV attractive people wear clothes. Yeah, my wife went full clog about two years ago. Now is this related to Nardcore? Which is hardcore music that comes from Oxnard? Okay.

It is exactly that. So if you dress man repeller, you're in a Nardcore band. Yeah. Okay. I have no warmth in my heart for Larry. It's basically Jerry Seinfeld sneakers. Yeah. They're bad.

They're the ugliest, grossest thing. Like gleaming white. Yeah, and fat. Sure. Like they're all fat. So the high fashion versions are like regular sneakers with like one and a half times the sole, which is really creepy looking, frankly, above all else. Like it looks like Skechers shape-ups, but without the arc.

Okay. Well, so it's not helping your buns. Nope. What? So they're wearing these ugly shoes and it's not toning their buns? Now I'll never be Joe Montana. Oh, boy. My dad used to have sneakers that had weights built into the soles to make you lose weight while walking around.

Oh, yeah. And they had that extra thick sole, but on a gentleman of a certain age, that just looks like the most insane fashion show. Now let me ask you something, Ben. Yeah. How are daddy's buns? How are daddy's buns? High and tight. High and tight? Yeah. High something, Ben. Yeah. How are daddy's buns? How are daddy's buns? High and tight. High and tight?

Yeah. High and tight buns. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, this show does not bring itself to the listener. We need help. It's not just folks who go to MaximumFun.org slash donate this week. It's also our friends at Stitch Fix.

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That's stitchfix.com slash JJGO to get started today. Stitchfix.com slash JJGo to get started today. Stitchfix.com slash JJGo. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, book hey ben i have a question you guys on uh on your show uh which one that's a good point on your show war friends um you guys watch the movie master and commander the other side of the world yeah that's where my nickname came from oh john roderick decided to give me a nickname based on the 11 year old uh first lieutenant that's that's like Lord Blakenly or something like that. You know, for a nerd, John Roderick sure loves to pick on nerds. Yeah, he really does.

His nerdiness far outstrips yours or even to some extent Adam's when it comes to these weird war things that he's a nerd about. Yeah. Yeah, there's like a little bit of a magic trick there because I feel like as a nerd, I'm very familiar with the feeling of being shamed. And somehow when he does it, it doesn't quite feel shameful. It's like more of a jackal or big brother thing. Yeah. Okay. So this is what I wanted to check in about.

Sure. I remember. Did you see the movie Master and Commander the other side of the world? No, I did not. Okay. I went to see this in the movie theater. It, the other side of the world? No, I did not. Okay, I went to see this in the movie theater. It's fucking great. You should watch it. Okay, so that's what I wanted to know because when I went to see it in the movie theater,

I remember thinking, that movie was fucking awesome. Yeah. What a great movie. Oh, that was so cool and so fun. That was the correct reaction. And then it was, I think it was a failure. At the time, I was like, great, let's make seven more of those. I guess I like Russell Crowe. Sure.

And no. Master and Commander, along the equator. Yeah, I haven't been so disappointed by a promised sequel not delivering since we didn't get more Denzel Washington as Easy Rollins detective movies after Devil in a Blue Dress. Yeah. Real disappointment. So it is a dope movie. It's like one of the greatest movies. Okay.

This was in like the Russell Crowe sweet spot. Yeah, like back when it was like, what crazy thing will Russell Crowe do with his hair this time? Sure. Like all of his character work is- And now it's how fat is he? Yeah. Slash what won't he punch? Sure, yeah.

Yeah. It's fantastic. It's a movie that like sincerely earns a moment where everybody is doing the Lord's Prayer and you're just like crying. Sure. I got so excited from watching that movie that like few years ago, I was going on a vacation and I needed to bring some vacation books. Sure.

And I was in the thrift store looking at the books. You? Trying to pick out a vacation book. And I saw Master and Commander number one because there's like 700 of them.

Yeah. And I thought, here it is. This is going to be it. And I had talked to Humphrey Carr, a British comedian, regular guest on International Waters. I think he's been a guest on this show, too. Humphrey loves these books more than anything. I got deluged with recommendations when our master had come in.

Okay. Just a point of clarification. Is this a pirate thing? It's not a pirate thing. It's a Napoleonic War thing. Okay. So it's English and French fighting with big boats. Cool.

Yeah. And Humphrey is what I believe is called a twit. Which is to say, I think he actually went to like Oxford and Cambridge and shit. Okay. And he's like six foot four and very handsome. Sure. And you basically just want him to marry your daughter so she can live in an estate. So I was entirely trusting of Humphrey Carr's recommendation on this.

And I, it was, that book is just a list of ropes. Right. I made it like 50 pages in and I'm like, they're still just itemizing cargo on this ship. I cannot deal. That is how I felt as a kid

trying to pick up the Hobbit books. Right. Like this is a list of fake mountains. Yeah. There's just someone saying a mountain that doesn't exist. It's called world building. Sure. Yeah.

I guess so. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea has like long passages of just like what fish they're catching. That is, that's so real. Like what was going on with books back then? They had not figured out that there could be multiple kinds of book. I think just there was no, they had not – they had Bibles and non-Bibles was what they had at the time. And so just Gregor Mendel's whole thing about the heritability of traits is all in the form of a letter from a castaway stranded on a desert island. All in the form of a letter from a castaway stranded on a desert island.

Like we want also, this is a yarn we're spinning. But we also want them to get some information about tides. Yeah. What's that, Sir Isaac Newton? You discovered some new things about light? Well, it's an epistolary novel, right? Yeah, exactly. So anyway, master and commander aside. Yeah.

Fucking list of nots. Brian in the break told us that he is loaded up on YouTube. The UCLA band. Now, this is from 2011. So I want you guys to imagine you're at the game. You're feeling pretty good. You've never been in a place with so many women who are taller than you before

there's a woman sitting next to you who is flipping the fuck out continuously throughout the game despite that everyone else is very relaxed everyone else has the kind of the has like a Sunday picnic vibe there's a woman just

screaming at everyone so you're having a nice time and then you hear this a Sunday picnic vibe. There's a woman just screaming at everyone. So you're having a nice time, and then you hear this. It's better if there's not a lady singing along. Because it reminds you of what a terrible song it is when she sings along. So yeah, I mean, this, this, if I was trying to place this, my initial thought would be like, oh, this is to one of those songs that comes out that accompanies a non-pixar

animated movie like this is one of the and that you hear it everywhere and you're like where's this from like oh this was in front of trolls yeah like that is that kind of like that kind of like peppy yeah it's called corn driven yeah but it's like trombones doing that yeah i would i would have i would have cycled through 10 different things I thought it was before I got to Bloodhound Gang. I was absolutely happy with that portion of the performance. I also really enjoyed where people did backflips and lifted other people up in the air and then threw them up in the air even more. Wow. That was a hoot. Are these the same cheerleaders that do other sporting events or do they have different squads for each team?

I think there must be one super hardworking UCLA cheerleading squad. Damn. I think the band and the cheer squad are working five times as hard as any of these lazy athletes. Yeah. What? You want to fight college athletes? Come on over. Let me know so I can be in another place.

Ben, when you say you went to a hippie high school, what does that entail and did you have sports? I may oversell it by saying hippie. It was very liberal in like and they were like really interested in democracy like big d democracy like okay the uh there wasn't like a student government it was school government so like teachers could run and hold positions in it and like they would like actually deal with the curriculum committee and stuff. So this is like my brother for a while in also in the San Francisco, in the East San Francisco Bay Area.

They went to this school where everyone votes on everything. Yeah, it wasn't quite that radical. I mean, and like, like in retrospect, like less radical than I thought it was at the time. Like there was a big debate one of the years I was there about putting up a diversity monument

that included a rainbow flag. And like it got voted down, which in retrospect, I'm like, what the hell were we thinking? Like, why did we vote that down? That is such a non-radical idea. Like put up a thing that says everybody is welcome here.

Wait, because everyone was bigoted against gays? I think it was like, it was, you know, it was like the Bush years and it was thought that it might, I think it was like probably mainly because there were like rich conservative parents sending their kids there that would be not. In fucking Danville? Yeah. It was like, that was like the, for like. Are these people commuting to Kalamazoo or something? No, they're commuting to like tech jobs, but. Wow.

So it's like Peter Thiel. It was, yeah. I think it was kind of. Is that how that guy's name is spelled? I mean said? Thiel? Yeah. You know the guy I'm talking about.

I know that's a guy. I don't have any opinions about him because I'm a journalist.iel? Yeah. You know the guy I'm talking about. I know that's a guy. I don't have any opinions about him because I'm a journalist. Sure. But I think you know the guy I'm talking about. Yeah. I don't either because I don't like losing everything. He is a real life destroyer. That's his main thing.

Who is he? He is the guy who paid for the Hulk Hogan lawsuit against Gawker. Oh, right, right, right. Sure, sure, sure. And now he owns Gawker, right? Doesn't he like deciding? I think he does. He says he's going to make like a right-wing news website out of Gawker.

Oh, good. Yeah. That'll be fun. The world needs more of those. Yeah. He's a libertarian who wants to tell you what he thinks about things. Interesting. Well, good.

Finally. I just don't know what those fellas think. Yeah. I lost track of your question, Jordan. Did you guys have traditional sports? Did you have football games and such? We had softball. We had basketball.

And women's volleyball were traditional sports. But other than that, I don't think there was much, like, outside of the school. Like, my P.E. was ultimate Frisbee. Yeah, there you go. There you go. I also did some P.E. ultimate Frisbee. Yeah. Yeah.

But then one semester I couldn't do it because the teacher that taught P.E. ultimate Frisbee decided to do P.E. paintball instead. I was too scared to do paintball. I get it. Paintball's scary.E. paintball instead. I was too scared to do paintball. I get it. Paintball's scary. Yeah. And like every week, like two periods a week, you're like, oh, yeah, it's Tuesday at 4 p.m. So I got to go shoot my friends. I have done, I did a few, I've done a few paintballs in my life.

I've never done it. I've done, I think I did a paintball birthday party in high school. You could drive down to like Camp Pendleton, which is kind of near San Diego, and they have a little paintball area. That's an actual military base, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. So they have a paintball zone. For visitors? For visitors, yeah.

Wow. And a Carl's Jr. on base where we ate. Wow. It was a lot of fun. Wow. I mean, it belongs in your face. There's no doubt about that. Wow. Where we ate. Wow. It was a lot of fun. Wow. I mean, it belongs in your face. There's no doubt about that. Sure.

Was it like that thing at Laser Tag where there's like two older kids that are way better at Laser Tag and there's two Marines that are way better at paintball? No, I mean, that was exactly. I mean, I think we were 14, you know, 13 or 14 at the time. And then there were just like grownups in fatigues there. And I think at the time what we thought was that these are military guys and they're training. Yeah. Right. I think in reality what those were were failures from the town.

Right. Who are into paintball. Jobless folks. Jobless folks. But we – I think we saw them as like, oh, these are like studied grownups who are here. These are badasses. Right. But no, I think they –

I think the way to tell yeah is look around and if there's uh an undercover detective shooting photographs of them being athletic sure you know they're one of those people and they're engaged in workers right fraud sure yeah i thought you had bad knees yeah uh yeah and then I think I could have just should have asked all of them if they own snakes. The answer, yes. But I mean, and then I oh, and I did it for a bachelor party, too. I had a good buddy. A good buddy got married and I was the best man and I organized his bachelor party and he wanted to paintball.

Wow. Does it hurt bad? Well, it hurts pretty. Here's the thing. I it hurts pretty bad. You know, you get welts and that's kind of part of it. Afterwards, everybody shows off their welts. I imagine kids these days, paintball and teens are taking welt selfies.

Right. Hashtag welt selfie. Yeah. Welt dick pics. But, you know, and we didn't, we didn't have social media at the time because we were present. We had to find our media. You had to find stuff. It wasn't all just at your fingertips.

You found it. Carson, Carson Daly, what do you recommend I listen to? Serendipity. Watch the movie Serendipity. Watch the movie Serendipity. And so, I mean, yes, I was very afraid of paintballing the times that I've done it. Right. And you have a mask.

You're issued a mask. But the thing I could never get over is nothing's covering my neck. I'm going to get shot in the neck. If I get shot in the neck, I'll suffocate. It'll destroy my windpipe. I hope no one shoots shot in the neck. If I get shot in the neck, I'll suffocate. It'll destroy my windpipe. I hope no one shoots me in my neck. And then the stripper is going to come over and you just won't be able to enjoy it. Sure. Look out, cinnamon.

Guard your neck. Does she come to you? Forget about your tits. I thought you just meant it would be like, take it off. Yeah. And you're like, take it off. Yeah, so it's – You got to tip really nicely when you do bachelor party at the paintball range because stripper is like – It's hazard pay, right? They're working hard.

They're working hard out there. Dodging paintballs. Sure. Dumping them out. Anyway, yeah. I guess I've been paintballing twice and been terrified both times. Did you get hit by paintballs? Yeah, I got hit by paintballs. Did you hit people?

Was it easy to do? Looking back, I probably shot no one. I think what I told myself was I did a lot of blind firing. I did a lot of like running with like my face turned away from paintball. Yeah. From anything happening. Maybe head down so my neck. Because I was afraid of getting shot in the neck. In a sort of waddle defensive.

Yeah. And like just with my gun outstretched and just blindly firing into the brush. Yeah. And I think I told myself that when I did that, I probably hit someone. I probably did not. Might have just been a possum. Might have just been a possum. Yeah.

Or just a wayward brush stripper. Not even there for the bachelor party. Just out there to collect seeds. Could have been George Jones, country music's the possum. Sure. Yeah. He's there to perform at the after party. Right.

Exactly. Oh, boy. perform at the after party. Right. Exactly. Oh, boy. What a sad bachelor party. I guess he had some peppy songs, too. A lot of divorce songs. Yeah. I mean, I think. A lot of divorce-related material.

I wouldn't want to be at the bachelor party and I hear, come on in. Sure. The Grand Tour is not a bachelor party and I hear come on in sure the grand tour is not a bachelor party jam but also I guess a fair amount of songs about a certain kind of liquor his uncle made in the bathtub so that's the fun part of the evening and then

the divorce stuff and then the lovely cinnamon she ain't got nothing on but watch her neck And then the divorce stuff. And then the lovely cinnamon. She ain't got nothing on, but watch her neck, fellas. What were the other PE options at your school? Well, there was a- Ultimate paintball. Ultimate paintball.

No for all. This was peak swing dancing coming back. So that was definitely a class for that period of time. This was also peak that version of basketball that was on TV that had trampolines. Did you do that at all? You know, there's so much of high school I don't remember. I didn't do PE a lot of high school because I was on a crew team that was not associated with my high school but I like could style

paperwork. Yeah, sure. Okay. Got me out of playing Ultimate Frisbee. You come by your button down collar Oxford shirt reasonably. Yeah, yeah. Honestly. The thing that I, speaking of, you know, recalling something

as Jesse, you could probably recall that Green Jello album. And Ben, you can probably. Could you have sang along to the Bloodhound Gang song while we were listening to it? I don't know if I could do that one. I feel like I liked some songs on that album, but I don't remember that being one of them. But you were one of those like, oh, the radio song's the worst one. Right. Yeah.

Like that was the kind of high school asswipe I was. Sure. Yeah. Oh, you guys like Jay-Z? Well, I'm not into it. I didn't know either of you in high school, but I think we can safely assume we were all that asswipe. Yeah.

I think to a degree and to our specific thing, we were probably all that asswipe. Yeah. It me. Yeah. I'm that. I'm that. But to me, I- To be fair, I was bad about it fair enough uh i the thing that

i that comes rushing back to me is like 10 swing dance moves that i learned in that time when everyone was doing that wow and like i will be at a wedding and i'm like oh yeah i can do 10 swing dance things yeah i learned to charleston oh. Oh, there you go. And I learned to Lindy Hop. Sure. Plus Afro-Haitian. Both, all very useful. Plus one dance move that I remember, you know, the teacher will call it out while you're doing it.

And it was to Living in the City by Stevie Wonder. And there was one move where we clapped in front of us and then extended our left arm out while letting our right arm drag down the arm. And she would go, drug line three, four. It was an illustration of heroin addiction.

Oh, sure, sure, yeah. As heard in the song. Find a fresh vein. Between your toes. Don't let your boss know that sounds like you could do those as like alternate lines in Love Shack

what's it cut with under my knotsack I feel like that could also just be the like little Whip! Under my nutsack! I feel like that could also just be the little improvisations on a Cardi B song. There's always that guy that's really low in the mix that's going like, Money. Ah. Money.

Yeah. Drag. Mine. Do you think that is Fred Schneider? Do you think Fred Schneider of the B-52s has gotten work? Yeah. I think he was on that P. Diddy song with Jimmy Page? Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, you could hate me now.

You can hate me now. Do some exclamations. Weird yelling. Devastating Role America. Netflix documentary on that guy's like super weird long career is going to be dope though. Oh yeah, sure. I have to say, I interviewed Fred Schneider of the B-52s once in the

Sound of Young America days. He had a Christmas album out at the time. It's amazing. While he was a very nice man, you wish the whole time all you want is for him to yell something. Yeah. He was a lovely guy. I really liked him.

The B-52s are one of the coolest bands. They're great. Yeah, I think we goof here, but when a B-52 song fucking comes on, come on. It's always great. Yeah. No one did anything. Like, the B-52s are in this very special pantheon with Pee Wee Herman of things from the 80s that used kitsch for good. Sure.

Yeah. Like really fucking nailed it. Can we find like some big band music of B-52s, Brian? Yeah. Is that searchable? I bet. That's easy. Come on.

How many love shacks are there? 10,000. Yeah. But it's going to be great, right? Yeah, it would be pretty great, I think. I think it would be good. Well, Brian, can you find Bowdit Bowdits? There's got to be a Bowdit Bowdit.

Almost nothing happens instrumentally in Bowdit Bowdit. There's a lot to fill there, I think. I mean, maybe soak the shockers available, though. Bring in a masterpiece to be busy. What do you think the Bloodhound Gang are up to? Do you think they're touring? I don't know. It could be a county fair.

How about this? Let's take a break. Let's do just the barest bones of research as to what the Bloodhound Gang are up to. And we'll come back. I can make an exception to my no research policy for this. Yeah, thank you. And thank you very much. We'll be back in just a second

on Jordan and Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la In a world dominated by dude bro movie podcasts. A world where Casey Affleck has an Oscar and Angela Bassett does not. Only one podcast is brave enough to call bullshit. Who shot ya? With Ricky Carmona. A lot of people don't know, Porgs, Puerto Rican. Alonzo Duralde. I would eat oak jaw.

April Wolf. I want to interrupt and say that the fish man was real sexy. Drea Clark. I have a real soft spot for King Kong. And women of color. I was like, damn! Brian Coogle got final cut! Coogle got Final Cut! Kugel got Final Cut! I just felt like the film was so sour and so completely irrelevant to basically anything in life.

Who Shot Ya? Listen every Friday on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Ben Harrison, the littlest ship shit. Not used to it.

The littlest ship shit. Ben Harrison, Mustang. There you go. That was another thing. I have to say, guys, I am really disappointed with America's marching bands. I can't even find one bout it bout it here. Get on it. Hey, if you're out there, you probably are in band. It should at least be in a medley, you know.

This is absolutely embarrassing. There's about 10 ice cream mans. So why are there so many ice cream – what's so great about ice cream man when – if you're going to put a – if you're going to have a – it really upsets me. This is something I learned during the break. We all did a little Googling during the break. I learned that one of Bloodhound Gang's other hits is called Kiss Me Where I Smell Funny. Touch Me Where I Smell Funny, Kiss Me Where I Smell Funny. That's a really sweet name.

Kiss Me Where I Smell Funny. The thing I found out, and I'll just say this now to head off the cavalcade of corrections, is that I think I had the, I think that the Discovery Channel song is on a different album from the album that I had. Oh, yeah.

Which is probably why that song doesn't feel super familiar to me. I've met your ice cream man. That's Mr. Ice Cream Man. That's not bad. That's not bad. Okay, members, past members of the Bloodhound Gang. Yeah, so this is your update. What is the Bloodhound Gang up to, Jesse? Your current lineup, Jimmy Pop, Jared Hasselhoff. Sure.

DJ Q-Ball. One of my favorites, The Yin, and Daniel P. Carter. There you go. Some of them had nicknames, others did not. Past members, because I want to be clear, that's just the current lineup.

So I'm more of a classic lineup guy. Great news, guys, I auditioned for Bloodhound Gang, and they really liked me. Past members, of course, Daddy me. Yeah. Past members. Of course, Daddy Longlegs. Dick Butley. Bubba K. Love.

Mm-hmm. Foof. All right. The Foof? Skip Opot to Mus. Let me guess the next one. Squid with a K. S-K-W-I-D.

Lupus Thunder. Mm-hmm. MSus thunder msg tard e tard spanky g wow and willie the new guy relaxing i could listen to lists of bloodhound gang members all night i feel like you guys have your next live show gimmick right there. Right. Like Bloodhound Gang member or some shit we made up, right? Sure, yeah. It seems like the naming convention is similar to Juggalos. Are they Juggalo affiliated? Maybe they are. Oh, I don't know.

That would make sense. That would make them make more sense in my brain. They've been around since 1988. Oh, my gosh. Vanilla Ice is a Juggalo orbit thing now, right? Yeah, yeah. I think so. They have an EP named Dingleberry Haze.

Wow. One of my favorite strains. They really are the things that they are. Yeah. This is just a list of one significant early radio breakthrough came when an intern at 1077 The End in Seattle brought the band to the attention of the music director, who, liking what he heard, played Firewater Burn on his Friday night show. And the rest is music history. They appear to still be working.

There is one update here, which is they have promised that they will... This was an interview with the German site Kincats. That's where I turn for all my music news. Well, certainly all my Bloodhound Gang news. Hasselhoff stated that the Bloodhound Gang would only reform and tour if President Donald

Trump left office. Well, you know what? I was... Personally, I... Or if anyone shows any interest. If Donald Trump leaves office, or another reason. Yeah. Or we

get offered a booking. Sure. If the county fair starts returning our calls. Do you think it's the same Hasselhoff as in David? Is that? No, it's a different Hasselhoff. I guess I went there because German website. Oh, they think they probably like, oh, fuck.

We booked the wrong. We booked Hasselhoff. Just do it to be polite. Oh, what are you up to? So it's a couple of things. A, I mean, I personally, I kind of wanted to give, you know, give the guy a chance, give Trump a chance. He's unorthodox, but he shoots from the hip. Let's see what he's going to do. I thought he could shake up Washington.

But now that I hear that he's the only thing standing in the way of a bloodhound gang reunion, I want him out. Kick the bum out, I say. There's got to be like the red pill section of Reddit has got to be really torn on this issue. There's got to be like the red pill section of Reddit has got to be really torn on this issue. So the second thing that I'm wondering is if they are not together or touring, why is he doing interviews? Is this a thing where he has a hot sauce and he's promoting that and he'll field a few Bloodhound Gang questions? Yeah. Anyway, I don't know. And he'll field a few Bloodhound Gang questions.

Yeah. Anyway, I don't know. I'm just looking. This is an extraordinarily exhaustive and well-referenced Wikipedia article. I have read, like, I'm a professional journalist, right? And I do interviews. And I'll often start by looking at a musician's article, you know, on the Wikipedia and then go from there. A good place to start.

The other day I interviewed Stuart Murdoch from the band Bell and Sebastian, and I think the Bloodhound Gang Wikipedia article is more exhaustively researched than the Bell and Sebastian article. I guess those people are too busy watching Jacques Tati movies or whatever. Yeah, the Bell and Sebastian bio is actually all on Etsy. Got it.

It's been crocheted onto tiny throw pillows. Got it. And then given to a mouse. I like that guy. He was a cool guy. Yeah. So there you go. Associated acts.

Of course, you got Wolfpack. Yep. The DiCamillo sisters. Mm-hmm. And A Federal Moguls. Wow. That's my favorite Bloodhound Gang side project. Literally five members of the Bloodhound Gang have their own Wikipedia pages.

Oh, boy. Well, I mean, I think something that we will probably learn after this episode goes up on Twitter, how many passionate Bloodhound Gang fans there are who probably don't cotton to us characterizing them as flash-in-the-pan one-hit wonders. I just want to point out, I'm looking at Daddy Longlegs' Wikipedia page. He owns his own production company, Sugar Daddy Productions.

He put out a two-disc compilation album called When There's No Room in Hell, Volume 1. And he also collaborated on Insane Clown Posse's remix album, Wraith, colon, remix album. Oh, well, there you go. An ICP connection. I can call a juggalo. It's really, really cool. Do they have a themed cruise? That's what I want to know.

He's been nominated for two Adult Video Network Awards. Wow. For performing? Now, just a quick question, Jesse. I know you got the article up about daddy long legs. How's daddy's buns? Okay, so the thing that is the most high and tight, it says here. The thing that is the most upsetting.

Wikipedia has everything. There's just a tab that says buns. State of buns. Yeah, it's in that little sidebar. Oh, yeah. I always kind of forget to look. He made an appearance in the ICP's cowboy movie, Big Money Rustlers. Oh, man.

That's such an exciting cameo. They're like, oh, my God. What? Daddy Longlegs, what are you doing here in the Old West? But the most upsetting thing is that the whole article refers to him when it refers to him in subsequent mentions as Daddy. Oh, no. Daddy. refers to him when it refers to him in subsequent mentions as daddy oh daddy in addition to that daddy also co-hosts a live radio show that's currently a streaming live video show the wolf pack super deluxe fun time variety hour sounds on psychopathic tv via facebook live exclamation mark

publicist got in there i think it's publicist got in there. She's like, in addition to that. Sure. Type, type, type, type, type, type, type. If you click into the debate section on that article, is there a lot of back and forth about that exclamation point? And eventually the Wikipedians decided. Oh, yeah. No, this is fucking exciting. They locked it down.

This is some big shit. What a thrill. Daddy has appeared in several television shows, including several appearances on, you guys aren't going to believe these credits. Oh, boy. These are going to blow your mind. You'll never, you'll say, how did he get on those programs? The Howard Stern Show, as well as Kevin Smith's Comic Book Men.

Oh, wow. And then every Shondaland show, oddly enough. All the Shondaland shows. The universes are connected. Sure. So once you're on one, as long as All the Shondaland shows. Well, the universes are connected. Sure. So once you're on one, as long as they don't kill you off. Yeah. Daddy Long Legs.

Wow. What did he win the AVN Awards for? That's the porno award, right? That's the porno Oscar. Yeah. Longest legs? He won them for his six volume. Hightest anus?

Longest legs? He won them for his six-volume DVD series tied into the band Wolfpack, the girls of Wolfpack. Okay. He stopped producing adult DVDs since, quote, no one buys DVDs anymore, unquote. So he's a shrewd businessman at the end of the day. Everybody listen. So, yeah. Daddy Longleg businessman at the end of the day. Everybody listen. So, yeah. Daddy Longlegs sees the future of entertainment.

This guy's going to send someone to stab us. This guy is going to. This guy has some fucking dirtbag cousins in Riverside who are going to find out where this recording studio is. And we're all going to get stabbed with rusty box cutters. He is also responsible for writing and producing several reality TV shows, among a few other projects. Okay. So there you go. All right. There you go.

Who knows? Watch those credits, folks. Maybe The Wall is produced by Daddy Longlegs. Maybe he's got a production credit on that PBS show where Skip Gates shows you what your DNA is. It's probably a Daddy Long Legs production. Yeah. Skip and Daddy are fucking tight.

He's friends. He calls him Skip. He doesn't have to call him Henry Lewis. Yeah. It is probably a little confusing when your nickname is Daddy. You wonder why people are calling you Daddy on Twitter. Is it because they're casual or they want you to sexually choke them?

Especially if it's a picture of you standing next to Chrissy Teigen. Sure. Daddy. It's confusing. So confusing. Daddy. When something momentous happens to you,

we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN for our segment Momentous Occasions. Here's our first call. Hey, Jordan, Justin, guest. My name's Ed, and this is actually my second time calling in with a momentous occasion in the last five minutes because the telemarketer just interrupted my last one. So that's embarrassing. You can delete that last minute.

Can you pause this, Brian? Anyway. That is such a fucking embarrassment. I know. Really embarrassing. Could you imagine? Really embarrassing. Can you imagine you're on the phone, you're trying to leave a momentous occasion for your

best friends in podcasting. You're heroes. The two best looking. Right. Funniest. Brightest. Yeah. Most incisive.

Longest legs. Sure. Leggiest. Sure. Tightest anuses. Bustiest podcasters. Big fat aerial legs. Sure, yeah.

Huge. Yeah. Like dinner plates. All the superlatives. A couple of thick daddies. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Isn't that a telemarketer call?

Yeah. He interrupts you right in the middle of making verbal love. Sure. Two most sensual men in the world. I mean, telemarketers have that new thing where they call you from your area. Yeah, like a number that is like the first six digits are the same. Yeah. Anyway, and you think that this is probably, this is an important call.

It's coming from my area code. Yeah, maybe there's a friend of mine from middle school. Sure, yeah. Maybe it's daddy. Maybe daddy's in trouble. I don't have time to go down to the airport Hilton to see a timeshare presentation. Is that your impression of your dad? No, it's this guy.

Oh, okay. Got it. Okay. Got it. What does your impression of your dad sound like? Yeah, now do your dad. I mean, he doesn't talk that much. It's mostly just preening and showing off how high and tight that booty is.

Oh, right, sure. Where's the Spanish boots? He lets his booty do the talking. Yeah, that's right. Make that ass clap. Ben's dad. Hey, Ben's dad, if you're listening, make that ass clap. Anyway.

If he wants to call that and what's the number again? I don't know. It's hard to say. There's literally no way to find out. 844-UG-SpyPod1. Okay, press play again, Brian. Anyway, my name's Ed. I'm a prosecutor in a small Rocky Mountain college town. I just had a jury trial where a young man, around 23 or so, he made a mistake, got behind the wheel of a car while drunk.

No one was hurt or anything like that. He got caught and arrested, and it ends up making its way to jury trial. He had a defense attorney, and I represented the state. We called witnesses, officers, played the dash cam video, breath test results. The defense attorney did what defense attorneys do, et cetera. At the end of the day, the jury found him guilty. We go straight to sentencing. This is one of those guys. he's got no record. One of those guys where, well, this is just going to be his one brush with the law. We'll never see him again. He gets some fines, community service, alcohol counseling, mother's against drunk

driver's course. Anyway, so that was my day. And I'm exhausted. But I walk downtown after work to go to my favorite Mexican restaurant and meet up with some friends. About halfway through the meal, the bartender brings over a shot and says, Hey, some guy in the back bought you this tequila. It's some pretty good stuff, too. And I tell him I'm flattered, but I'm not interested with that. Flattered, just not for me. And I ask who it was. And he points to a booth

in the back, and all I can see is, like, the back of the guy's head, and I recognize the ears. They're these big, goofy ears of the guy I had just spent all day presenting evidence to a jury that he had committed DUI. In short, the guy I had just convicted of DUI bought me a shot of tequila. Anyway, I thought it was a meant occasion worthy of a call. Love the show. Keep it up. Love you guys, and bye. Love you, too.

Yeah. You got to take that shot. Got to take the shot. Take the shot. Shoot your shot, baby. Yeah. Got him in your sights. How hammered was that guy?

Pretty hammered. Get off with Mothers Against the Truck driving? Yeah. Give me the keys to the Camaro. Let's go down to the bar, baby. Sure, yeah. Let's knock back a few margs. Yeah.

Yeah, get to meet those hot mothers. Yeah. Absolutely. The course is taught by hot moms, right? If you're a tight daddy. Yeah. Get to meet those hot mommies, those hot sad mommies. Oh, boy.

Boy, that was some real courtroom intrigue. Right out of Shondaland. Yeah. We got our own little Shondaland in here. Do you think this is our own version of Shonda land or our own portion of shonda land well as someone who did appear in an episode of scandal as sleazy tabloid reporter right um a role for which i still receive checks in the single digits of dollars yeah um so you're canonical shonda now yeah i mean and that's what I do remember after my day on the set.

Just a one-day thing. Just a day player. The director said, well, you didn't die, so you could come back. And I'm still waiting for that call. I think there's been scandals in its last season, but I think, you know, like. If a tabloid arc comes back in. There could be tabloids at Grey's Anatomy. Sure.

At Hospice. How to Get Away with Murder. Sure. Blue Bloods maybe, if that's one of them. Yeah, probably. It might be. It fits the profile. Sure.

Yeah. Anyway, now that's Josh Molina. He'll know. It's an urban look at the Tom Selleck vehicle. Right. Okay, let's take another call. No, no. It's an urban look at the Tom Selleck vehicle. Right. Okay, let's take another call. Hey, Jordan.

Hey, Jesse. Hey, guest. I just had a pretty momentous occasion. I am a philosophy teacher at one of the California State Universities. I teach philosophy and religion. I teach philosophy and religion, and I just had a student come up to me who was very concerned because they were worried that they were being recruited into a cult, and then they had remembered one of my lessons earlier in the semester on how to spot a cult and the dangers of cults and what to do if you think you're being recruited into a cult, and wanted to ask me if that's what was happening, and I said, yes, it was.

We were able to figure out a strategy to help them avoid it and to get out of that situation. So that was a pretty momentous occasion. Got to feel like my lesson really directly helped and impacted the students. So that was pretty great. Hope you guys are having a good one. Bye. Thanks, Kelsey Hayward.

Might have been Hayward. Now that I'm looking back on it, I feel like Hayward is the answer. Yeah. Well, what's the cultiest city in California? Sonoma. So it's Sonoma State. Yeah. I thought that this was going to be the guy saying, I just saw this prosecutor that tried to put me away and I bought him a drink.

Oh, we're having our own little Rashomon. That would have been cool. Yeah. Let's try and make that happen out there. Hi, it's me, Shonda Rhimes. Sure. Stop talking about my shows. Hi, it's me, Shonda Rhymes. It's me. Hey,

girl. It's me, Shonda Rhymes. Oh, hi, Shonda. So, you know, it's nice to hear about college being useful. I think there's a lot of, you know, you hear a lot of chatter out there about, you know, is it necessary these days? Right. You know, student. People are just out there majoring in political correctness. Yeah, exactly. Majoring in snowflake studies. Yeah.

Get their degree. Ruining comedy. Yeah, right. Sure. But, you know, nice to see a university education being useful. Yeah. And, but here's the thing. If you're in the early stages of cultdom,

and it sounds like this young person was, it sounds like they didn't know whether or not they were being initiated into a cult. Right. Do you think that maybe you can stay in it just long enough to have some group sex? Like, can you? Or get that salad dressing recipe.

Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, find out how to make that green goddess at home. Ooh. Ooh, yum, yum. Yeah, I mean, I think I would like. Maybe just one hang gliding sex. Sure, just a single sesh and you're out. Yeah.

It seems like you could probably stick around for some of the fun parts of being in a cult, but then kind of get out of there once it, you know, once shit gets real. Did you ever watch, Ben, did you ever watch that movie, The Source Family, about the source family? It was like an old-timey muscle man started this cult. This surfing van cult. Yeah. And anyway, long story short, his name was Father Yod. But the great thing about this movie is – I had the directors of it on Bullseye when the movie came out.

It's a great movie. But all this crazy cult shit happens. Like it's just a long series of crazy cult shit. Crazy cult shit happens. Like it's just a long series of crazy cult shit. And they interview a bunch of former members of the cult because all this went down in like 1973 or whatever. And so all of them are talking about it. And you're like this fucking father, Yod, had a psychedelic band.

But he didn't sing. He just chanted and like made noises. And they invented green goddess dressing and it was them that Woody Allen was parodying and Annie Hall, isn't it, where he goes out to Los Angeles,

like all this different stuff. And you're like, this is the craziest chit in history. And then in the end, Father Yod, spoiler alert, decides that because

he's a god, he can hand glide despite not having hand glidden before and he just jumps off a cliff and dies. And so anyway, all these people that were in this cult, they're all like, yeah, it was great. It was really great. I really miss my cult days.

They all seem super nice too. It seems like – and something I've never been able to wrap my head around is like being obsessed with Manson. Uh-huh. I kind of like – kind of like last year I think I listened to the You Must Remember This podcast series on Manson. Thought it was great and really fascinating. It's a great listen. I read that book The Girls. It's kind of the like fictionalized Manson family story.

I thought that was really interesting. To be clear, you weren't doing this out of interest. Just your sole interest here was to date chicks with tattoos. Sure. Yes. Tattoos and glasses. I will say that a thread that runs through my dating life is hearing about Manson during dinner. It happens.

Yeah. And I think- And you're just sitting there rolling your eyes like, does she think I don't know this stuff? Sure. Yeah. This is my first date. Right. Yeah.

Come on. I've been around the block. I know the single life. Yeah. Sure. You know, you- You get together with your girlfriend. Talk about- You the single life. Yeah, sure. You know, you get together with your girlfriend, you go murdering. Yeah. And I think the thing

about it that, like, captures people is that before the murdering started, it seems kind of fun. Yeah. Seemed like they were having a nice time out at the ranch. Yeah. All very good looking. Yes, sure. Good looking bunch. Does the spell break when the

Manson goes away? Or like when Father Yod jumps off the cliff, do they all go like, oh, this was weird. Killing the king vampire. It's over now. I guess they all seem to have the attitude like, well, you know, you can't have the cult without Father Yod. I guess we'll all just get our own yurts. Settle down. I'm going to start a get our own yurts. Mm-hmm. You know? Settle down.

I'm going to start a macadamia nut farm. There was an annual day of service at my high school that was a day of service in that we all had to not do class and, like, do projects to improve the campus. It was called Tim Holm Day after a student that died in a hang gliding accident because he built a hang glider in science class that didn't work. Oh, my God. So it was less of an in memoriam and more of a mea culpa. It's irresponsible to let a kid build a hang glider as part of class. I never got to the bottom of it the entire time. Every year we had to do this. I'm glad we're memorializing

him here on this show. I hope you guys all finished your hang gliders because this week in class we're going to be working on tapping bullets with nails. And then we'll move on to your final exam, the traps from

Predator. Now, you've all seen Predator, right? Yes. We've all seen Predator. Put your hand down if you're thinking of Alien versus Predator. There are no traps in that movie. Dave, the traps from First Blood are not a passing. They're not acceptable. They're the wrong traps.

No, there's traps in AVP. You have a grading rubric. There's traps in AVP, I think. Are there? Yeah. I don't know. It's been a while since I've seen it. You know, to the credit of the movie Predator, you never thought that it would have spawned an entire genre of rap music.

Right. Sure. You know? I mean, who'd have thought? But would have spawned an entire genre of rap music? Right. Sure. You know? Mm-hmm. I mean, who would have thought? But God bless them for it. We wouldn't have Migos. Yeah.

Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, apparent. Turns out it isn't what we thought it would be. For example, stickers on car windows? It's no longer about what type of monster would let that happen and more like realizing you are that monster. So join us each week as we judge less, laugh more, and remind you that you are doing a great job. Download One Bad Mother on MaximumFun.org or Apple Podcasts. And yes, there will be swears. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Ben Harrison, world's creepiest fan. Ben, first of all, I'd like to draw your attention to the weird tower fan here in the studio with us right now. Genuinely pretty creepy. Yeah, creepy. But did this fan listen to your show 10 years ago and decide, I'm going to make friends with those guys? Oh, no, don't encourage me.

Sure. We are not accepting any more friends. You're the only time that's ever worked. Because I'm the most diabolical. Can I ask a favor of you? You did a great job on the show today, and it was a joy to have you here. Thank you for having me. Next time you come in as a guest on a chat podcast, can you not grow a mustache over the preceding week and a half?

It's not been that long since I last saw you and you just appeared at the door with a full Tom Selleck mustache. Oh, wow. That's just a – that's like a recent stache. It's not something you've been cultivating. Yeah. Well, I did it stupidly for my Sketch Fest show a couple of weeks ago. Why? In tribute to reicher i i i had this idea that i was gonna go out on stage because we did the greatest generation and then we did friendly fire

it was a double bill show and i thought i would run backstage and we were supposed to have like a 15 minute intermission and i was gonna shave it off and like blow everyone's mind oh that's funny uh but we got to the once they put that mustache up at the Jumbotron at Sketchfest, people are really going to love that bit. The people at the theater we were at were like, you don't get an intermission, you don't have enough time. And we're like,

okay. So the only thing that happened was John ran backstage and went pee, and then we went back out and did another... So nobody shaved anything. Yeah. So then I was like, it bothers my wife, so maybe keep it for a while. Sure.

Honestly. You got to bother that wife. Yeah. Honestly, I'm a little uncomfortable with how good it looks. It looks nice. Yeah. It's like the first plausible facial hair I have ever grown. It's highly plausible. You and Chris Fairbanks.

Yeah. That's true. Fairbanks looks great in his fucking mustache. It does look really good. Well, thank you. Yeah. A couple of mustache dudes. I want to date Fairbanks when Yeah. That's true. Fairbanks looks great in his fucking mustache. It does look really good. Well, thank you. Yeah. A couple of mustache dudes. I want to date Fairbanks when he's got that mustache on.

That would be great. Yeah. I want to have a casual thing with him that lasts about a month. Yeah. Yeah, sure. You don't want to get emotionally involved with Fairbanks. Yeah, but like, you know, have some fun and then we're still friends and it's not weird when we see each other out.

Yeah, like at the skate park. At the skate park, yeah. Mostly yeah not exclusively he's got this restaurant that he loves that has fried shrimp we've been a couple of times it's really good trip it's by his house you can walk oh that does sound great i can hardly imagine a better i mean with all due respect to recording a podcast with you i can hardly imagine a better way to spend 90 minutes than eating shrimp with Fairbanks. It's better. Better than this. I bet there's a lot more amusing words stumbling over.

And a lot more shrimp, honestly. I mean, words. Thanks for being honest with us. Yeah, there's a lot more shrimp at the shrimp restaurant. There's a lot of shrimp in here, though, right now. Yeah. There's more at this shrimp restaurant. I forget the name.

I forget the name. They're just crawling around in here. It's weird. I'm sure they're dying slowly because they have no water. Slash me. Spit on me, Daddy. Okay. All right, you crazy shrimp

you fucking kinked out shrimp in his boot I forget the name of the restaurant but I think it has shrimp in the name shrimpie whether you like shrimp or Star Trek, you'll like The Greatest Generation with Ben Harrison and Adam Pranica. You could also hear about war movies with Adam, Ben, and the great John Roderick, another beloved past guest of this program. Yeah.

And if you're... And it's not... You don't have to love war to like Friendly Fire. I want to make that very clear. We're not... It's only for warmongers, right? Yeah. Hawks.

Hawk types. Yeah. So the executive producer is Donald Rumsfeld. Yeah. Right. It's a very fucked up podcast. I'm surprised you allowed it on here. Otherwise, pretty woke network, Jesse. I don't have any political opinions. I'm a journalist.

You've got to represent both sides. I'm just saying that the secret Facebook group of other Max Fun hosts was pretty up in arms about this. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough, Ben. Fair enough. Yeah. So listen to those Ben Harrison programs if you're out there. There's also The Greatest Discovery, which is about the new Star Trek show Discovery. Yeah, and I think by the time this comes out, we'll be done with the first season of Discovery. So you'll be ready to binge. Yeah, you can binge the whole thing.

Binge along with Ben and Adam. Yeah. That's what I say. Is that a good show? I really like it. I mean, I have to go home and watch the final episode, which could totally wreck everything that's happened so far. It was all a dream. This being, like, golden era television, and that happens all the time.

But, yeah, I mean, I've really liked the first 14 or whatever episodes a lot. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah. I didn't think I was going to, and I totally did. I'm glad. It's intriguing. I have enough fond memories of watching Star Trek The Next Generation as a nine-year-old on KBHK TV44. Yeah.

Which is probably where you watch it as well. It me. I'm that. And the idea of a Star Trek show but good is appealing to me. Yeah. And I would love to check out that spinoff of The Good Wife. Let me tell you this, Jesse. Mary Wiseman, who's like one of the breakout stars

of the show, ran into our producer at a taping of Ask Me Another, I think. A national public radio smash hit program with past guests

Jonathan Colton and Ophira Eisenberg. Yeah. And he went up to her and he said, hey, I produced The Greatest Discovery on Maximum Fun

and she said, I love Maximum Fun. That's a great network. I love their podcasts. La-dee-da. And she nicely recorded an intro to a show for us. Isn't that lovely of her? That's a lot of fun.

That is really great of her. And so now I'm best friends with her. She's just a fan of Dave Hill's show, probably. He's good. The guy, when will he do new episodes? Oh, sure. Other things going on, Dave Hill. show, probably. He's good. When will he do new episodes? Other things going on. Yeah, very busy guy. Busy guy. He's going around being hilarious and wearing velvet suits.

Getting that WFMU money. Also corpse paint. Getting that WFMU money. Yeah, that's it for this week's Jordan Jesse Go. Our producer is Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. Hashtag it JJGo on Twitter. I love checking them out.

I've been really enjoying some of those dank memes. Yeah. Hey. Some cool shrimp memes could come out of this. How about, isn't somebody going to do steamed hams, but it's Jordan Jesse Go? Yeah. Someone do steamed hams, but it's Jordan Jesse Go. I don't know what that is.

Right. I mean, I know what the meme is. You know what steamed hams are. Yeah, but I want to see what our version what that is. Right. I mean, I know what the meme is. You know what steamed hams are. Yeah, but I want to see what our version of that is. There's Dragon Ball Z. Right. Homestuck. Yeah.

Smash Mouth. Yeah. Where's the Jordan Jesse go? It's steamed hams, but blank. Also, can you do one? I don't really know what memes are, but can you do one where it's me and Jordan or whatever, and then it says, that's my purse. I don't know you.

From King of the Hill? Yeah. That's good. It's a meme. I've seen that on memes. Is that the time that Bobby takes a self-defense class? Yeah. It's so great.

It's one of the greatest. Outside of the episode where he becomes a circus clown, I think it's the second best King of the Hill episode ever. Okay.

Well, anyway. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Goff. Thought I was going to learn something about paleo. Sorry.

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