Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 521: King of Drugs with Sarah Morgan

Episode Date: March 6, 2018

Jordan and Jesse take a break from their usual topic to welcome beloved return guest, comedy writer Sarah Morgan, for a discussion about Jordan's recent unlikely patriotic moment, Sarah's quest for a video game system for her daughter, the british condiment Gentlemen's Relish, and Jesse's new era of life as a dank daddy.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Moore's boy detective. Jordan Jesse Goh is the podcast that asks you to grow up and glow up. Yep, that's right, it's about child development and bioluminescence. That's right. The two topics you tune in for every week.

How much screen time is too much? Plus, anglerfish? What do they know? Jordan, here's my idea for this week's podcast. Now, normally, of course, our slogan is grow up and glow up. And normally we cover child development and bioluminescence. But I think this week is- I know, Jesse.

Why are you telling me? This is like episode 520 of the world's most popular child rearing and bioluminescence podcast. Here's the thing. I just had a cousin die. Oh my God. From ingesting too much glow algae. Boy. This is something teens are doing. Wow. It's called a rainbow party glow algae. Boy. This is something teens are doing.

It's called a rainbow party. Okay. Yeah. And. At least he died getting his dick sucked, huh? And they ingest huge quantities. We should all be so lucky. Of bioluminescent algae.

Right. Of course. These come in tie pods, right? They typically filter. They'll open their mouth, take a large amount of water in, and then filter, push the water out through their baleen.

And then all that's left is that bioluminescent sweetness. Oh, my gosh. Anyway, my cousin Francesca died of doing this. She's in college at Rice University. Okay, I'm sorry I got her gender wrong. And Francesca asked that were she ever to die of this, that we would take a week off from talking about the subject. Yeah.

She left a note that said, I don't intend to. This is not a suicide note. This is a, Right. It's like a will. It's like a clause in my will. Just in Casey's clause.

Sure, yeah. If I ever do die of over ingestion of bioluminescent aquatic plant mass, would it be possible for you guys to take the week off?

If my cousin's podcast to take the week off? If my cousin's podcast would take a week and just shoot the shit. Well, she was a big Jordan Jesse Go fan. Yeah. I mean, she – we've covered recreational use of bioluminescence before. Yeah, which – I mean, I don't think I recall us ever being positive about it. I think from the get-go, from the get-go, we were like, this is not a good idea. Certainly not for teenagers. No.

Absolutely not mature enough. No. I think if you are not, I would say it's, I was going to say AARP mailers, but I'm going to kick it up to receiving social security, and you should not be messing around with bioluminescence. If you're 70 and over, go to town. What have you got to lose? Sure.

You know what I mean? Alan Alda. Get yourself a $7 movie ticket. Yeah. And start grabbing that plankton. F. Murray, Abraham. Mm-hmm. Munch down, baby.

Munch down, baby. So this week- That's actually, Jesse, I'm actually starting a cuddling podcast. And I'll thank you not to use the catchphrase from my other show. and I'll thank you not to use the catchphrase from my other show. So in honor of my cousin Francesca, who was majoring in... Cunnilingus. Well, it was sort of a...

She was producing my podcast. It was more of a focus within her major. Oh, okay. Which is women's studies. Sure. Within her major. Oh, okay. Which is women's studies. Sure.

And so she decided to, in honor of her at Rice University, which of course is in Texas. Beautiful campus. Beautiful campus. And, you know, she and I grew up together playing micro machines. Sure. Trading hats. Mm-hmm. Cooking, especially souffles. Mm-hmm. Cooking, especially soufflés.

Mm-hmm. And I just want to... Maybe we're over-memorializing her at this point. Sorry. I mean, I know you're going through some shit, and, you know, it's good to talk about it. Yeah. But, you know, maybe we're, you know... Maybe we're...

Yeah, maybe we're putting too fine a point on it at this point. Yeah. I mean. Why don't we just do her final wish. Was that we have comedy writer Sarah Morgan on the show. Oh, yeah. She's a big fan. Big fan.

We spend an hour or so acting dumb for no reason. And she said that would be her final wish. I mean, listen, it's a bad idea for a reason. Sure. And she said that would be her final wish. I mean, listen, it's a bad idea for a podcast, but who am I to reject a dying teen's wish? Right. But she was in college, so. That and legalizing. She had two wishes.

That and legalizing smoking krill. Sure. You got to accumulate enough krill and dry it out enough yeah krillin they called it yeah it's when you get high what are you doing chilling and krillin can i speak don't you say netflix and krill say netflix and krill thank you. Like the first word. Am I allowed? Can I? Our guest. Hi. Our guest is a comedy writer. Mm-hmm. Inspiration. A regular on this.

College ladies. A regular on this program. Beloved return guest. One of the founded, one of the founding writers of our smash hit podcast, International Waters. Thank you. Thank you. And still it's writer emeritus, Sarah Morgan,

emerita. I good. Yep. Sure. I don't know what that means, but that's lovely. Uh, yeah,

I, I mean, it's lovely to hear that Francesca was a fan and, I do feel like I've dodged a bullet a little bit because I thought grow up and glow up was maybe where you dressed as your favorite character from Alison Brie's wrestling show. Sure. Lovely singlet, by the way. Do you like it? It's really nice.

I've glommed up tonight. I mean, some people don't approve of glomming up, but I think it's, you know. The fringe looks great. I like it. Mark Maron fits in it surprisingly well. He does. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, welcome to the program, Sarah. Thank you. Lovely to be back. Are you having a nice time in America so far? I am, it's lovely It's chilly in LA, isn't it? Sure is, oh boy Are you comfortable visiting Los Angeles at a time when Elvira is not performing at the Knott's Berry Farm?

Not Scary Farm Not Scary Farm, forgive me Elvira's not going to go to a regular old basic-ass Knott's Berry Farm She's going to, scary or nothing, it's an Elvira's ride I basic ass not's berry farm. She's going to scary or nothing. Right. It's an Elvira's ride. I do feel that's why it's so cold here. She does actually.

Elvira's warmth. Elvira's tits are heating the city. Fiery warmth is not keeping us. Yeah. She does like to visit year round. She loves that fried chicken. It's really good. Get a little boysenberry jam to take home.

Absolutely. Ride Montezuma's Revenge, which is an actual rollercoaster they have there that is apparently diarrhea themed. That's what Montezuma's Revenge is, right? Yeah. They give you a poncho. First three

rows make it wet. Sticky. Covered in corn. First three rows may get covered in corn. It's lovely to be back. I'm glad I can class this shit up. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming.

Well, you're definitely classing this shit up if you're adding corn. Sure. Sure. Yeah. yeah I think Knott's Berry Farm while not the strongest of theme parks

no I very deeply appreciate it that it's jam themed you know what I mean like Disneyland is not it's not a

peanut butter company nope it sure isn't although I guess there is Peter Pan peanut butter. Yeah. Which. That's a really good point.

But I mean, I guess Peter Pan is not a creation of Disney. So. No. It's a creation of J.M. Barry. J.M. Barry. J.M.

Barry. Yes. Oh. Yes. J.M. Barry. J.M. Barry.

Thank you for flying 6,000 miles. Worth it. I did some word play. It's the way of my people. It's probably better weather here than it is in London, England, though, isn't it? It is, but that's not the point. You were hoping to, what, have a daiquiri pool? I was hoping to hide from your disgusting heat and complain about it.

And I didn't get to do that. You're having brisk walks. Yeah, I'm having nice, brisk walks. I walked four miles of Sunset the other day, and it was lovely, and I'd never be able to do that normally, and I'm cross about it. Sunset Boulevard is a strange street here in Los Angeles. It's a long street. It contains multitudes. Yeah.

If you drove down it, you'd see every kind of thing. Hollywood, you know where every kind of thing. Hollywood, you know where the dreams come true? Sure. But the neighborhood of Hollywood, California. Right. It's horrible, right? Boy, yeah.

I mean, you know, yeah. I mean, I can, you know, as a man who sometimes likes to party semi-ironically, I can have some fun on Sunset Boulevard. Right. But, yeah, I mean, I think if you are, you know, someone who doesn't like to have their senses assaulted, then, yeah, stay away, I would say. It's very dusty. Yeah. Hollywood. Get on over to Culver City. Beautiful Culver City.

How can it be so dusty when there's only concrete around? That's what I want. Where is the dust coming from? F. Murray Abraham. There's your answer. Oh, sure. Every time he farts. Whoa.

Taking F. Murray Abraham down a peg. Okay. All right. All right. I don't know who he is, but is that what the F stands for? The F stands for fart. Fart Murray Abraham. Jeez. All right. All right. I don't know who he is, but is that what the F stands for? The F stands for fart. Fart Murray Abraham. And of course, that's the game.

Murray, I love your audition. I've got a few suggestions for your resume. First of all, there's already somebody in the union named Fart. So you're going to have to use your middle name. I mean, in my favorite game to play at every sleepover, you would pick three people and you would say, okay, Fart Murray Abraham. Ben from science. The PE coach.

Which one would you fart? Which one would you coach, which one would you fart? Yeah. Which one would you Murray? Which one would you Abraham? Which, of course, is code for killing someone at Ford's Theater. Give him the old Abraham and the back of the skull. And farting is just farting on someone. How are things in London, England?

Yeah, they're okay. You know, it's all kind of bleak and political. How are things in London, England? Yeah, they're okay. It's all kind of bleak and political. Yeah, we got one of those. I feel like coming here and bitching is a bit like coming here and bitching about knife crime. Maybe I'm literally bringing a knife to a gunfight. And shouldn't complain about things back home. We're fine. We're very old.

We'll just cope. Why won't England stand up to knife crime? And knife criminals? Because it was in the Magna Carta that you could have a knife. We have no knife lobby. There's no... The KRA. As long as you're not on the...

There's no KRA. Hang on. No, hang on. The knife... No, that doesn't work. Oh, no. It would be the NKA. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, anyway. Let's workshop that for a bit. The show's been good up till now. Yeah. Sorry, can we start, Brian? Brian, yeah, can we start again? This NRA, NKRA, NKA thing.

Okay, so here's something I want to ask you. Sure. So, something came up. We have noticed that every time we have a British visitor from across the pond. Sure. That's what that means. The pond is the Great Lakes. Yeah.

They remark on generally the size of our breakfasts and specifically the size of our pancakes. Sure. Do they not have pancakes? That's what I was going to ask. Are they just small or do you not have them? Pancakes are slightly different. We have the European. God bless Europe. We will not be a part of it much longer, but we hopefully will still be a part of it.

You'll no longer be a part of the European Union. But when you're visiting England and everybody's talking about Europe like it's not in your – I've seen maps. Yeah. That's all I have to say about that. Yeah, we're a tiny island off the edge of it. Anyway, yeah, so we have pancakes, but they are more like a French crepe, very thin. We would call what you call pancakes here American-style pancakes. Very literal.

Oh, one of those cute British dick days. Is that Cockney rhyming slang? Yes, yes, it is, yeah. But no, I mean, you know, I'm a person who enjoys a breakfast, a full English breakfast. But if I come here, I am obviously going to enjoy a giant pancake that makes the waiter look worried when I order it. Several of the things in a full English breakfast are gross, are they not? It's entirely a matter for your palate. What am I supposed to do with that weirdly cooked tomato? Oh, no, fuck that.

Fuck that noise. Fuck it in the bin and set it on fire because it's disgusting. Half a tomato that's been – do they like cook it on a griddle or something? Seriously, I've got – I can't remember the name of it. I'm like slightly fibrous about tomatoes and I might be ill if I have to talk about grilled tomatoes. Okay. But I do enjoy the way you say it in a different way to me. Thank you.

The journey I have following Sarah on social media is that you will occasionally have to get a picture of a full English. I'm so sorry. Well, here's the thing. That's like an unsolicited dick pic. A picture of a glistening full English, which must be like six in the evening if I'm posting it in the morning as well. Yeah, so I'm going to bed. I go to bed around six. And then you end up having nightmares about baked beans.

Right. Yeah. Eating fries for breakfast. Yeah. No, no, no. No, chips have no... Sorry, auto-trans beans. Right. Yeah. Eating fries for breakfast. Yeah. No, no, no. No. Chips have no. Sorry.

Yeah. Auto translate. Hi. I feel like I've got that paper clip on my shoulder, like chipping in. Looks clippy. It sounds like you're saying something in a different language. Bad news. Fries.

Bad news. You don't have clippy. You're in Microsoft Bob. Oh. I have to talk to Microsoft Bob. Yeah. They've replaced clippy. They got rid of clippy quite some time ago.

I'm going to say 10 years ago. Right. Yeah, I use a Mac. Gruesome death scene. Sorry, John Hodgman. Does John Hodgman like Macs? I can't remember. Yeah, of course he does. He doesn't in the fictional world,

but they were the ones making him a millionaire. Yeah, that's right. You're welcome, John Hodgman. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, full English breakfast. Yes. Right. So, yeah, I, you know, I would see your social media pics, your hot bean pics.

Yeah. And I would go, ugh, these people, they don't know. They don't, ugh, these. But then the last time we were over there for the London Podcast Festival, I grudgingly had one. I'm like, well, you got to have one. And I'm like, I'm going to have one of these and then complain to Sarah about it later. Yeah, you sent me a photo. It had chips in it.

I really like it. That's probably the one. Yeah. I probably just like having fries for breakfast. Yeah. Anyway. I like those beans. Those beans are good.

I'll eat beans for breakfast in a second. Bacon is great. Mushroom is great. Sausage is great. Toast is great. Sausage is great. Toast is great. All delicious together. Oh, yeah. And then they give you that giant mushroom, too.

What are you supposed to do with that? Eat that. Put butter on it and stuff it in your gob. You put butter on it? Oh, yeah. It should be cooked in butter. You butter the shroom? You butter the shroom.

You shove it in your gob and you get on with your day. Butter the shroom, shove it in your gob. Hi, Clippy. Did you mean math? Oh, this is actually also part of my cuddling this podcast. Buttering the shroom. Yeah. Chapter one.

You got to butter the shroom. You know, I have- I feel like we talked about breakfast last time I was on here. Yeah, it's going to cut us. It's fine. Sorry. You have a thing. It's good.

It's your signature. That's a third of the meals. Sure. Unless you're talking about Taco Bell fourth meal babies. And I am. Absolutely. Hey, give me the Chalulas and nobody gets hurt. Chalupas?

Yeah, there you go. Hard to say. Who cares? Whatever. I'm sorry. I interrupted you. No, no, that's okay. I have a breakfast-related overheard that I wanted to share with you guys.

Oh, ooh-la-la, as I like to say, because I am from Europe. Oh, I wish I was. So I have been doing a lot of eating in diners at what I might call the old man hour. Oh, is that like 6 6 p.m yeah this is yeah i was gonna so old man breakfast hours which are like 6 a.m to 8 a.m right before the you know normal people and families come in there are a lot of like like f murray abraham dusty old men who come in like in just like tattered baseball caps and uh members only jackets. Right.

And everyone is their wives died and they don't know how to cook an egg. Yes. And they are also the potential killer from the end of The Sopranos. Sure. Oh, the only reference we know from members only jackets. Really? Yeah. Oh, the guy is called members only jacket guy in the credits.

In the last episode. Yeah. Yeah. It was a was a dad thing, you the credits. In the last episode. Yeah. Yeah. It was a dad thing, you know, here in the 80s. Yeah. And then had a brief, you know, around the time of the trucker hat. Right. Where like hipsters would wear them.

Okay. Yeah. But now it is back to the world of dusty old men. Right. I think that's fair. I would say that everyone, and everyone is alone. dusty old men. I think that's fair. I would say that everyone, and everyone is alone, and I think the vibe is, I just got a letter from my adult son asking me not to attend his wedding. That's kind of the vibe. Right. So everyone is alone, and I feel like it's me, and I'm also

there alone. So I feel like I'm looking at my future, maybe. Like, there's something. So everyone is there, but occasionally the old men will try and talk to each other. Like, from two stools over. Everybody's leaving a stool in between. Right. That's where the ghost homosexual sits. Sure. He says, don't worry, you're not gay.

I am that's like Christian couples dancing at a school dance and you have to have leave room for Jesus leave room for Jesus a yard

a yardstick a ruler how much room does Jesus need a ruler 12 inches for the Holy Ghost yeah a whole yard

you just have your hands waving toward each other leave room for Jesus. And remember, he'll have a boner and has quite the schvanz. Yes. Thick and wide. Long and wide.

Sorry. Thickness and width are the same thing. Yeah. Anyway. Show is good up until now. Brian, can we? Yeah. Can we just go back and do the NRA thing?

We can redo the redo the stick thing. Can you start the show over and maybe you could play the serial theme music? Yeah. Whodunit. I got a lot of ideas. More stuff about where phone poles were, please. Sure. Is it phone transmission poles?

That's what I remember. Where are the pings? Yeah. Give me pings. Where are the pings? Yeah. Give me pings! Turns out we don't need closure. Maybe the idea of closure was the mystery. Think about it. Anyway.

So, so, I mean, they're in the old man hour. This show gets better and better by the second. God, it's good. God, it's good. It needs more shouting into mics, sort of gently fellating your own microphone, Jesse.

That was pretty intense, whatever you were doing. It's a thrill just to be here and be part of this, you guys. It really is. This is like being the catcher of a no-hitter for me. This is like being at Altamont. It's like Beatlemania. Yeah. I feel like I'm going

to get stabbed by a Hell's Angel at any minute. And I love it. I'm in there at the old man hour and as they do, one of the old men

is reading the newspaper and the other old man, you know, two stools away from him leans over and he goes, what are you reading? The Times? And the guy goes, yep. And the first guy's like, all the news that's fit to print. Ha ha! What conversation is that supposed to start?

It's just... No, sir. International Herald Tribune. Oh, okay. Well. Well owned by the Times, isn't it? Eggs, huh? That was recently in a chicken.

Is all the news that's fit to print the slogan for the Times? Yeah, the New York Times' slogan is all the news that's fit to print. I don't think that's the Los Angeles Times. I mean, I think really the fatal flaw of this whole question is that he leaves it at the Times when the dominant Times in the world is the New York Times. But here we are in the heart of Los Angeles Times country. I don't know. But, I mean, the guy did agree that it was all the news that's fit to print. Were either of the guys Bob Garfield from On the Media?

They had a Bob Garfield vibe. Got it. Yeah. What if Bob Garfield was dustier? Like he's been rolling in something. Yeah. What if Bob Garfield was dustier? Like he's been rolling in something. Yeah. Anyway. I'd say that print has less currency than it used to as well.

Like things being fit to print is not, you know. Sure. There's less issues with shortages of certain letter blocks. Yeah. I think it's probably one of the big things that's going down. I overheard something that was also – that was about a chicken. Okay. I was at the thrift store the other day and I was looking at the – now, this is the thrift store where I got the complete series of All Creatures Great and Small on VHS.

Nice. Which is probably the greatest triumph of my life. As it was meant to be seen. Yeah. So I had returned to the scene of the crime hoping to strike it lucky twice. And... That's quite exciting. Ooh, another one.

Just in case my other one breaks. One for the house, one for the car. Sure. Maybe I could get a VCR in your car, right? That Judi Dench sitcom with the old people.

As time goes by. There you go. So there were two guys there. This was an out-of-the-closet thrift store. So there were these two kind of like I would say mid-20s, cool, I am presuming gay guys. Not because they were cool but because they appeared to be gay. And they were talking to each other. And one of them said to the other one,

hey man, Saturday afternoon, hey man, what are you doing tonight? Are you going to rage? And the other guy goes, yeah, totally. I think I'll go home and eat a chicken. Wow. What was that slang for? Yeah, it's got to be.

Nobody's krilling in West Hollywood anymore. Can we get Dave Holmes on the line? Yeah. What is hanky code for chicken? Going to go home and eat a chicken. Jeez. Is what he said. That does sound like a rage to me. I would really enjoy that on a Saturday night.

No. Just eating a whole chicken. Any sides maybe? Yeah, I'm more interested in the sides. Corn? Potatoes? Well, you know I've got to get my corn. Got to a whole chicken. Any sides, maybe? Yeah, I'm more interested in the sides. Corn? Potatoes? Well, you know I've got to get my corn. Got to get your corn. Going on Montezuma's Revenge later.

Got to load up on corn. This is probably not that exciting a story if you don't live here, but I'm staying near and out of the closet, and I went there this morning, and there were some people outside having a bake sale for Planned Parenthood. I bought some baked goods, and I just felt like a really good thing had happened. It made me very happy. You felt really culturally appropriate.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. I think that's when you're visiting Los Angeles. You're taking some entertainment meetings. You're going to want to buy some baked goods from the Planned Parenthood fundraiser. I didn't appropriate the baked goods. I just purchased them and ate them.

You didn't. You didn't. I didn't borrow them. Later, you didn't dress up as a muffin. I didn't exploit their culture by dressing up as the nice tattooed women who were selling baked goods outside. Yeah. At the closet. I think that you could probably sell scones outside of the UNESCO store. Some biscuits outside an Oxfam.

Yeah. I can do that. Yeah. Scones are too sweet. I like it. I've gotten to where I like a scone. Really? Yeah. I like the texture.

I like the density. I didn't always like a scone, but it's up there for my breakfast pastry choice. What's your preferred scone? Well, I mean, this is okay. This is a little she-she. And you can include scones in this if you'd like. I won't. You're just dying to hear how I pronounce it. I won't.

There's a coffee shop that I like to go to when I'm in the Burbank area. You're getting a little braggy here, Jordan. Yeah. I sometimes get coffee in Burbank. The city from Johnny Carson. That's right. And they have a vanilla bean scone that I really like. I love this scone.

I always, I go a little out of my way to go to this coffee shop because they've got a vanilla bean scone and it's really good. Vanilla bean. I really am a savory breakfast pastry man. I mean, that's good too. All the way. Up and down, left and right. Straight through till morning. Sorry, Sarah. I cut you off there. No, no. I mean, that's good too. All the way. Up and down, left and right. Straight through till morning.

Sorry, Sarah, I cut you off there. No, no, I was... Do scones here have cream and jam with them? Is that a thing? Not typically. Okay, then that's bullshit. I know. Yeah, I think you might get butter and jam. Oh, that weird whipped up butter and the little...

If you were sitting down and eating it, then yes. But we're talking about it. A scone on the go. Yeah, we're talking about on-the-go scones. What's so funny about that, Sarah? I don't come to your country and make fun of your on-the-grow watercress sandwiches. I mean, you should.

I don't even know what watercress is. It's barely food. It's like moisture in green form. Sure. And you put it in a sandwich. They just dump out the lawnmower bag at the restaurant. You feel humble. But I mean, yeah.

I mean, yeah, cheese scone is nice. Bacon and cheese. I like a bacon and cheese anything. Sure. Serve me bacon and cheese anything, but especially a bread product. I was preparing myself a breakfast burrito the other day and thought to myself, do I put the eggs in here? I don't want them. I just want the bacon and the cheese and the tortilla.

I also want that. But, yeah, so I felt like I was adding the eggs just so I didn't feel like a monster who was just eating bacon and cheese on a tortilla for breakfast. Is there anything inside a breakfast burrito? Is it all breakfast items or are there any burrito items in it? I like to put black beans in mine. Okay. Yeah. That sounds nice.

You can do any kind of bean you want to. You can use a chorizo. You can use a chorizo. Absolutely you can use a chorizo. That sounds nice. You can do any kind of bean you want to. You can use a chorizo. You can use a chorizo. For your meat? Absolutely you can use a chorizo. That sounds good. We were, Sarah and I saw a comedy show the other day. Don't tell me that was in Burbank too. It was Elvira.

Sorry, Jesse. Elvira's Easter spectacular. Look at those eggs, et cetera, et cetera. You're going to need a pretty big basket. And the, like... Still got a few eggs left, she might say. Yeah. And the...

Now listen. All I'm doing is thinking about Elvira puns. Sorry, carry on telling me about a thing I went to. She's certainly happy to be there. She's sure. It's good. So, the... She's certainly happy to be there. Sure. It's good. So the – It's so funny how much I'm not listening to you.

I've got a Cadbury cream in my pants. Oh, so I nearly bought you – like I always like to bring like nice candy from the UK. Yeah. And I bought – You brought some Bassett's wine gums. I bought some Cadbury's cream eggs thinking how exciting you don't have them here. And then I landed and I literally saw them in every store. And I was like, oh, so you have Cadbury's cream eggs.

It's the cream season. It's post-Valentine's Day. So then you're in cream season. But you do not have Cadbury's scream eggs. No. So that's something on Halloween. We probably do. We're going to get at gas station TV if you've seen Cadbury's cream eggs in the United States.

With green goo inside them as opposed to yellow. Sorry. We went to a comedy. Yes. And this is a nice bar that will let you go out to the taco truck and bring the taco truck shit in the bar. It fucking rules. It's a great policy. All bars should have it.

And now listen, if we've talked about, you know, political upheaval abroad, but at home, and, you know, I have a complicated relationship with this country, some of whose policies I agree with, some of them I don't.

But the joy on the visiting person's face eating the 12.30 a.m. taco truck shit was – I'm like, I wanted to – long may she wave. And I know it's a Mexican thing that we've stolen and brought over here. But I don't know. I felt a little. I felt proud to be an American in that moment. Yeah. I don't think. I don't think you could eat anything.

I basically my feeling about tacos. I can will and do eat tacos five to seven times a week. Wow. The amount of tacos I eat is disgusting. You'll die of taco poison? I almost certainly will. Yeah. I don't know if Buche has trace amounts of mercury in it, but I've definitely got that

Piven shit, if it does. But yeah, the amount of tacos that I will you will never find me opposed to tacos in any situation like did you have

when you were in London did you attempt to have Mexican food no good good I'm very glad our Mexican food is so bad what do you

what do you do well it's just it's not made by Mexican people sure it's because we don't really have any I mean I'd love us to have some but so it's made by horrible chain I think we because we don't really have any. I mean, I'd love us to have some.

So it's made by a horrible chain. I think we have Chipotle. I think we've got like two Chipotles. Sure. And a couple of other ones. And it is just bad. Yeah. And expensive.

And there's little griddled tomatoes in each one. There's a sausage down the middle. It's like bangers and mash wrapped in a taco with mushy peas they've got it completely wrong yeah gentleman's relish oh smothered

in gentleman's relish yeah I always now that's a that's a that's from Elvira's UK that's what

her tour is called bangers and mash look at these bangers and mash big bends monster mash bangers and monster mash right alvaro has to come to the uk now because i've written like three points for her smothered in gentleman's yeah

yeah yeah no that is a poll that we use from time to time a comedy poll sorry i don't want to sorry to be using industry terminology like wicked googly's yeah this is just a like british thing i i don't gentleman's what is itish. What is it? What is it? It sounds like cum. That's why we say it. Yeah. I think, actually, it was the... I'm surprised you don't remember.

It was when you guys came over for International Waters that was taping in London about five years ago. Yeah, at least five years ago. Was I hugely pregnant? It was about six years ago. Yeah. I was hugely pregnant. I was meeting... You were 14 months pregnant, which was ago. Yeah. I was hugely pregnant. I was meeting-

You were 14 months pregnant, which was weird. Yeah. I've just dated like an elephant. I was 14 months differently there because of low-level socialism. Yeah, we spot the date, the day, and the month the other way around, which makes sense, by the way. I digress. No, it doesn't.

I'm so angry that you get the date and the month. I hate brown sauce. Yeah, you guys were doing that and I had this weird experience of being like hugely pregnant and meeting people off a podcast that I'd be listening to for a long time like in person and then trying to find funny foods

that I was going to feed them in a basement in Soho it was really odd and one of the rounds involved me feeding you guys food blindfold that was like funny British food so I think one of them was gentleman's relish I can't remember what the other ones were

like a scotch egg or something I don't know why the blindfold needed to be on spotted dick and custard and the joke was the Americans got to eat loads of flavours of M&M's and that was a very funny joke a lot of British food sounds like dong stuff. Yeah.

It's true. Anyway, new observations. You guys got dongs there? What, like ding-dongs? Yeah. Like the biscuit. Like ding-a-lings. I'm sorry, the cake.

Are they cake? Talking about gentlemen's parts. Yeah. Anyway, gentlemen's relish. Sorry, I should do it. It's like massively concentrated anchovy paste. And it's really tasty.

It tastes... It sounds like a real umami blast. Oh, it's proper umami. It tastes really fizzy. Do you not remember? I gave you someone a breadstick once, Jesse. I remember licking it off the... In a basement in Soho, I was heavily pregnant. It's like the weirdest fetish ever.

Is that a line from a Warren Zevon song? Anyway. it's like the weirdest fetish ever is that a line from a Warren Zevon song anyway I mean to be I mean maybe Jesse doesn't remember but he is so fucked up before we go on stage sure

it's had you had like a pint of IPA and yeah well even worse I'd had a coke

oh boy a yard of ale a yard of coke we should check in you had a coke at dinner how you feeling feeling fucking great. You're flying.

You're flying. I want to talk about that, so let's take a quick break, and we'll be right back on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio radar. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Radar. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Hey, we've got a sponsor on this week's program, Jordan.

It's our friends at RX Bar. A whole food protein bar made with 100% whole ingredients. Wow. So basically, this is very simple stuff. RX Bar's core ingredients do all the talking. It's like eating three egg whites, two dates, six almonds. That's it. Not seven almonds, not five almonds, Jordan.

They got 11 delicious flavors, gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free, and they're great for lots of occasions. Can I give you an example? Please do. Let's say you're taking the kids to Legoland. Grab an RX Bar. Yeah. Let's say you are peckish after a tough workout. Grab an RX bar.

Let's say you're stranded on a desert island and there's no coconuts to be found. Grab an RX bar. For 25% off your first order, visit rxbar.com slash JJGO and enter the promo code JJGO at checkout. I also want to mention a couple of things. Number one, John Hodgman and I are coming to the Onion Comedy Festival in Chicago, so you should come out to

the Chicago Onion Comedy Festival and see Judge John Hodgman, if you're a Chicagoan, come out to that. And also, I just want to mention max fund drives around the corner yeah we're getting ready i'm about to go to the grand canyon we promised that we would record a show on boroughs at the grand canyon the bad news is that the borough company will not allow us to use their boroughs in that way and they said they literally said uh we don't need this. We've done tours with Oprah.

Oh, my gosh. They fucking pulled that card. Wow. There's no burro competition. They Oprah'd you. Someone sent me a really angry email that said they had heard that I was thinking about doing a show on burros and I should learn more about burros before I decide to do that. We're going on a Burrough tour. Sure.

But we're not going to do the show on Burroughs. Okay. But anyway, we did that because the last Max Fun Drive was such a success. And the only reason this show and all the shows at Max Fun exist is because of folks who support the Max Fun Drive. Yeah. A lot of fun stuff coming up for the Max Fun Drive. Oh, man.

You're making a special episode. I don't want to spill the beans on it too much. Don't spill the beans. You're making a donor-only show with our friend John Hodgman. Yes. It's going to making a special episode? I don't want to spill the beans on it too much. Don't spill the beans. You're making a donor-only show with our friend John Hodgman. Yes. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm very excited about that. It's all coming up the first two weeks of April.

So mark your calendars. We're also going to do one of our world-famous live streaming programs to end the Pledge Drive. It's going to be a ton of fun. You've got some good-slash-dangerous ideas for that. Yeah, this is going to be a ton of fun. You've got some good slash dangerous ideas for that. Yeah, this is going to be our most ill-advised stream yet. It's a bad idea.

We're going to do it then. Except for that time I peed on an electric fence. That was also an ill-advised stream. Yeah. Don't whiz on the electric fence. Remember that, Red and Stimpy? No, I don't remember that one. Anyway.

I remember Log. It's Log, it's Log, it's better than bad. It's good. Yeah, exactly. That show was a lot of fun. Yeah, probably not appropriate for kids. Nah. Seems weird in retrospect. Yeah. Different time. Yeah. And if you are looking for a gift for a friend,

I've got a shop at PutThisOnShop.com. Lots of beautiful vintage items there from jewelry to household goods. And also homemade items like pocket squares. Handmade items, I should say, like pocket squares. And whatever the fuck else I make. Oh, scarves. Beautiful scarves.

Putthisonshop.com. Okay. We'll be back in just a second. I'll join Jessica. back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, the king of drugs. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Sarah Morgan, trying to remember my previous names.

Oh, international eel smuggler. Oh, yeah, that was a good one. International eel smuggler or European eel smuggler. Thank you for remembering your nickname, by the way. I know. The fucking return guests are so bad at remembering their nickname. I think I was Sasquatch for a bit as well, but I've done the show too many times. Maybe you were. I mean, enough number of times.

Yeah. You know, actually, I wasn't thinking it, but now it makes sense. Would you leave and call Chris Fairbanks? Would you? Yeah, sorry. You should get him on your way out.

How about I get one of the other British women who are more popular than me, like Helen Zoltz? Nah. Josie Long? Nah. She can't fly. She's too pregnant.

She's too pregnant. You're going to have an adorable, charming baby. I know. My God. Imagine how gorgeous that baby's going to be. This is why we pregnant. Going to have an adorable, charming baby. I know. My God. Imagine how gorgeous that baby's going to be. This is why we mentioned that I had a cherry Coke at... Do you listen? Cool.

Yeah. Thanks for listening. You're definitely more talented than we are. Why are you listening to this bad show? Yeah. Shouldn't you be listening to cereal? Yeah. Do Belle and Sebastian have a podcast?

We thank you for – It's just 60 minutes of an antique xylophone every week. By the way, that was our guest Sarah Morgan calling back to our dinner conversation earlier. Oh, yeah. In which I mentioned that the Belle and Sebastian guy guessed that I was talking about Josie Long when I was talking about Josie Long. Yeah, and I did just wonder for a second, is it okay to mention her being pregnant? But she's doing a show about it. So it is information.

I'm shocked to hear that she's doing a show about it. Yeah, well. It is always a challenge when – a little peek behind behind the curtain here here's how the sausage is made um it is always a challenge when you are doing this sort of chat podcast and you hang out with the people beforehand yeah like remembering what was just casual dinner conversation and what you said on the show and what you can call back to i legit just thought saying josie long and bell and sebastian together would be enough of a reference right like i didn't think it needed any back explanation but yeah you're right we should never hang out ever like we should just get fresh in the room this is uh this is what i wanted to mention is i had had this

cherry coke at dinner because i frankly was drowsy i going to be frank with the two of you. I was drowsy. No, I mean, this takes energy. But it isn't the Coke that makes me the king of drugs. I don't know if you knew this, but the drug marijuana is a popular intoxicant that I got a medical license to purchase at the drugstore. Two months before it became irrelevant. Yeah, exactly. Well, I still save on taxes. Oh, yeah, that's true. Two months before it became irrelevant. Yeah, exactly. Well, I still save on taxes.

Oh, yeah, that's true. From what I understand. Yeah. Save on taxes. 5% to 7%, I think it is. Yeah, so my wife had been on me to try medical marijuana for my migraine headaches. Yeah, I mean, it seems so obvious.

Yeah. Yeah, so I... Yeah, it is so rare that, like, you know, we've had the semi-bullshit marijuana license here for a while, for a couple of years. Five years? I don't know. Maybe even more than five years. A while. Yeah.

Ten years? And yeah, it is always – I always do like hearing about someone who actually uses it for medicinal purposes. Yeah. It's nice. It makes – yeah. Yeah. it for medicinal purposes. It's nice.

It makes, yeah. Yeah. I mean, there are a lot of people's mild anxiety and back pain that's being released by medical marijuana. But yeah, like I, what happened? Flight insomnia, fear of flying, need I go on? I had considered it for a long time, but discarded the possibility because, as my therapist explained it to me, I was waiting for a parent to tell me it was okay. Which is to say that I had this goal of talking to an actual doctor about it, it being an actual medical need, and had failed entirely. Like, my doctors are not allowed to talk about it. Oh, okay.

Interesting. By like health insurance rules where their employers are like, so like I brought it up with a series of doctors like have you heard anything from your patients? Is there anything that's better than anything else? Whatever. And they would say like you are legally entitled

to use it. Sure. That would be like what they would. That would be the whole. So, yeah. So, I was like, okay, I am going to settle for just someone who knows what they're doing that works at one of these places. Even if they're not a medical professional, someone who is, knows. But then I was like, I don't know how to find that.

How do I find that? I don't know how to find that. So I wrote on Twitter and we have this listener named Ernesto who's been a listener for a really long time. And I felt like I knew him from Twitter and maybe coming to a show or something from time to time. And he tweeted me and said, oh, my sister works at a dispensary. She'll get you set up.

And I don't know why that was enough for me. Well, there's a paper trail in there. But it's still essentially a stranger's sister. Yeah. Like, as much as I feel I know Ernesto because once in a while he will fave one of my tweets.

You know his avatar. You know his avatar pops up periodically when you make a joke. Exactly. It's a little cartoon guy. And so I went, but it was not that far from my house. That was the other thing. It seemed like a fancy one. I was like, I don't care if my marijuana costs more. I want to go to the fanciest one available.

That is 100 percent sure. I went there and they were like, oh, are you a new patient or an existing patient? Do you have a recommendation? I was like, I don't. I don't know. Do you guys have a recommendation for where I should get a recommendation? Yeah. So I think part of the medical law is that you cannot get the license and buy it in the same place.

You cannot have a one-stop shop, if you will. You have to – it kind of keeps up the artifice that actual doctors are prescribing this. So I'm like, okay, I have just screwed up all of my intentions to go and take care of this. Like it took a lot for me to take care of this. It sounds terrifying. like it took a lot for me to take care of this and do you think they were terrifying yeah well like for listeners at home i have i've used many many prescription drugs over the years for my migraines but i've never even been drunk were you wearing the you're not a narc shirt did you say i want to smoke the reefer like a cigarette because that's what i would say. You say daddy needs that tank. I had actually gotten the recommendation.

Ernesto, I said just for kind of like entertainment value that he was a guy who followed me on Twitter. Actually, he was a jazz bow I met in an alley. Sure. Behind the Cotton Club. Yeah. Yeah. So, and I said his name was Ernesto. It was Detroit Red.

Sure. I got Malcolm X in the 30s. Oh, cool. Yeah. So, I asked, like, well, what do I do? And they're like, oh, well, you should go to this whatever 420 Rex or something like that. It's in Pasadena. Not so far.

Another 15 minutes from my house. But whatever. Whatever. I'll do it. And I was like, I'm going to eat lunch. So I went and sat down and ate lunch. And while I was eating lunch, I opened up their website. 420 Rex.

Yeah, 420 Rex. And it was just a link to download. 420rex. Yeah, 420rex. And it was just a link to download. 420rex.puff. Yeah. Weirdly, 420rex.fish. Which seems... B-H-I-S-H. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, that's fun. Show's good again.

420rex.o-a-r. So I downloaded their app. Wow. Which was all that was going on on the website. And literally by the time I had finished my Rubin, they had emailed me the certificate. It was like a woman called me. So that was nice. And just made sure that you had migraines.

Yeah. You can hear them. It comes across in your voice. I did not believe her to be a doctor. However, I found her to be a competent, I'm going to say, office administrator. I have gotten my rec and renewed it a couple of times. There's a little place in a strip mall you can go to. And there is an old man in there who presents like a doctor he has a stethoscope

he's wearing a stethoscope and he has a well in one corner he's wearing a stethoscope in one he's wearing a fireman's right one cowboy and then just normal dad yeah he has a real me he has a range uh and yeah and he has a little office that i would say is set up like a porn doctor's office. Nice. Well, we found this skeleton. Right. And an eye chart. A skeleton and an eye chart.

But there are the trappings of doctor around. Right. So if the cops raided, I could play this off like, I thought this was a doctor. I mean, they give you specific instructions when you come in, right? They say, if we shout boys in blue, bend over and drop your trowel so I can stick my hand up your ass. Sure. That way they'll just think we're making a porn. Yeah.

And it's weird. It happened like five times. I never saw the cops. You want to be sure. But that prostate's good and milked. But one time, my license had

expired, and I was hanging with some friends in the high desert. As I do from time to time. Yeah, you weren't hanging in the sober desert, okay? Nope. I wasn't hanging in the square desert, man. I know all the lingo now. Clearly, no no i need to hear the rest of the story but it's very authentic uh no so i went to like a i mean

like like palm springs so i went out to like one of their places and it was like a trailer and so you know you know dank doug checks me Now, in Palm Springs, Dank Doug's other job is selling mid-century modern furniture. Right. Yeah. Dank Doug has a side hustle. To affluent 60-year-old gay men. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Kitchy wall clocks. A lot of bleached skulls. Yeah. And I'm like, well, there can't be a, you know, a simulated doctor in this place, can there? I was like looking around and we're in like, you know, I don't know if you ever went to a school that had portables. But but, you know, right. It's like a makeshift room that can just be dragged away by a truck. Right. And which has been featured in Dwell magazine, to be fair.

Yeah, I know. Yes. We us going to underfunded public schools that had portables. We were just on the cusp of the tiny house. Exactly. They were just preparing us for eventual tiny house. I actually lived in a container as a child. Oh, yeah.

The only thing they figured out and God bless him is to take the container off the ship. Because we were all over everywhere in my childhood. And they just opened up. We're renditioning in the Thorn household. And they just opened up a laptop and I Skyped with a doctor. Oh, yeah. So, like, I could see his office and he just, like, just him kind of turning around to, like, look at me through the Skype and give me a little thumbs up. Uh-huh. Turning around to look at me through the Skype and give me a little thumbs up. I think that's the thing that a doctor could have done. Have an office, but then Skype in some stoner dudes.

Anyway. You did it via app. Are you high as a kite right now? Are you ripped to the tits on goofballs? I'm on drugs. Is that the question? Yes. I use drugs, yeah.

I thought I could see your eyes. Am I freaking you out? Okay, Jesse, you're running through a forest. Brian, flick the lights on and off. Do you want some Vicks? I've got some Vicks in my bag. You can snort it. It's amazing. Make the hairs on your arms go.

Do you want a massage? Are you alright? I'm perfectly fine. What do you think marijuana does? Marijuana is very bad in our country we we have either hydroponic super skunk that people grow in their like houses that's way too strong and makes you mental or we have stuff that's brought up people's bums into the country oh my god you can really taste the bum that is literally the choice of drugs that you have which is is why I only smoke in Los Angeles. Now we're talking. Yeah.

Sorry. So, yes, you're on marijuana, right? And you've smoked the marijuana. I used an edible food. Well, so I went to the thing. You know, I went back. I had my letter in my email, so I went back to the thing after lunch. Like it really was almost immediate gratification.

I had to wait for a while to get allowed into the – they have like an ante room where you have to sit. Sure. And depressurize. Like when you're both diamonds. Hold you in a little cage. I went inside. Horatio Sands was there, so that felt right. Yeah.

I felt like as soon as I saw – Literally Horatio Sands, not just a guy who looked like Horatio Sands. No, no, no. Horatio Sands was there, so that felt right. I felt like as soon as I saw... Literally Horatio Sands, not just a guy who looked like Horatio Sands. No, no, no. Horatio Sands. I bet Horatio Sands was in there, but also a couple of guys who looked like Horatio Sands. Yeah, sure. Absolutely. Which is to say, really great. Looking better and better, I would say. Absolutely, yeah. Sure.

Doing a great job on great news. Really fun as the editor guy. He's funny in that. He's very funny in that. I don't know who that is. Horatio Sands used to be on Saturday Night Live and in the Upright Citizens. I could Google if my phone was on. There you go.

Noted marijuana user. Okay. Yes. Like you really – Snoop Dogg doesn't go to the dispensary himself. He's got a guy. Snoop Dogg doesn't go to the dispensary himself. You know, he's got a guy. So I would say other than him, certainly in Eagle Rock, California, Horatio Sands is who you're going to want to see there. I felt like I was in good hands because they were the hands that Horatio had placed himself in.

And I talked to Ernesto's sister. She was – I was bothered by how good looking she was. So that's a dispensary thing, is they will have on both the – no matter which gender you prefer, men or women, they always staff them with good looking weed, babes and hunks. Yeah. I would say like I think it is kind of like being a bartender I think the idea is that you will You will buy more from this attractive person

And they do like flirt a little bit Anyway She was very professional I want to be clear And she wasn't like a hot babe She was a pretty lady I would say And you think attractive women can't be medical marijuana scientists? I don't think women can be scientists.

Right, that's, yeah. Sorry, I don't know why I said the other words, yeah. I mean, in a way baking involves a lot of science. Sure. I mean, yeah, she could make the cookies, I guess. Yeah. And getting baked, am I right? Right. On drugs? Domestic science.

Buffalo soldier. God, Jesse, I love Hi, Jesse. In the heart of America. on drugs domestic science buffalo soldier god Jesse I love hi Jesse in the heart of America pot Jesse's so fun yeah thank you thank you

thank you thank you I prefer to be called dank daddy I'm doing it again Jesse I'm a freaky man I feel like I'm running

through a forest so yeah so I bought a variety I literally I bought like I'm running through a forest. So, yeah, so I bought a variety. I literally, I bought like six kinds of marijuana. Here's the thing. And maybe you'll agree or disagree, Jesse. Okay.

Going into the fucking weed store and having all those options and buying a couple of different things is really fun. Agree or disagree. It's pretty fun. It's real fun. I think like the thing thing here's the thing so i uh i also have never like smoked cigarettes or anything so i was like i'm not gonna learn you've never had a cigarette no not even in junior high somebody handed you one and you no my parents both quit smoking within my memory but before i would have tried smoking okay so smoking to me is the

grossest thing in the history of the world um like it's it's just i just have vivid childhood memories of like clothes smelling like smoke kind of thing but now you've done marijuana it is a gateway drug so you'll be that's true cigarettes next week and then dipping the horse you'll be on the horse by the weekend. That's what I'm saying. Horse being heroin, right? Yeah, yeah. You'll be bang on the smack.

On the old white pony. Smacked off your tits by next week. So, yeah. But I definitely, it is exciting that there's so many products. Yeah. In so many ridiculous forms. So many products. Yeah.

In so many ridiculous forms. Like, I walked out of there with, like, an electronic cigarette thing that buzzes when you, like, measures how much active ingredients you get and then buzzes. And, like, a weird syringe full of oil. Okay, so that is actually heroin. That's actually heroin. That's actually. Yeah, was it black tongue? That was the one that worked the best for my headaches. Sure.

Just smoke it off a little bit of foil. Yeah, like I still have a headache, but I've melted into the floor, so. A type of mint that comes in a tin. I'm a big fan of those tin mints. Yeah, the tin mints. Not only are they great, it's really easy this time of year to find

a girl scout to sell you one sure yeah you put them in the freezer for a little box yeah um so yeah so i bought like 17 different things she's like 25 off your first visit and i was like i don't know all your marijuanas please one of these one of these all the pots and like my you know my my wife doesn't use marijuana. She has in her life on a number of occasions, but it's not part of her life and hasn't been for a long time. So I was like, I don't know who I'm buying these for, but I would try one of all of these different things. Now, if I had been there to buy marijuana leaves and flowers or whatever is the actual part of the plant that you use, I think it would have-

Talking about nugs. Yeah. If I had been there to purchase nugs, had I not just said, I mean, I probably would have just said, give me your dankest. But other than that, I think I would have been completely overwhelmed. The volume of non-plant options was extraordinary enough. And the plants, there's like 60 of them. And there's like guys holding them up to your nose in spoons or whatever.

Yeah. Like take a whiff of this dankness. And were they explaining the buzzes to you? Like the different. Yeah. Well, I mean. This will make you sleepy and this will make you more alert i don't think she believed me when i was trying to explain to her that i had like never used anything or whatever she was super nice about it condition that definitely will be yeah but she

did i mean she was giving me advice on you know which kinds are most likely to uh most likely to be helpful for pain generally and that kind of thing. But yeah, like she gave me a variety of different... The level of sophistication of the branding of these things is extraordinary, where at this point, those

e-cigarettes, there's like 12 colors, and each one represents a different mix of being high and whatever. So like, you know, the first time I went home with one that was called like relief was for pain. And then there's one that's called bliss. And there's what I like is there's two different sex ones. One is called like sensuality and one is called arousal.

So I think one is what is called grunt one is for boner getting a boner and one is for using it taking a bone yeah for receiving a boner yeah this is so weird because i have a delivery here this is like coming from a country that has you know no marijuana legality whatsoever like it's like we only have moonshine or like prison wine like we make our own wine from potatoes in a cupboard. And then I come here and you're talking about like a sommelier kind of thing. Right. It is so decadent.

It is so like wasteful to like act like this. I definitely feel like the whole process of like acquiring and using marijuana in a place where it is actually illegal seems like so much hassle. It is. And I know people with legit pain-related conditions who could totally use some and may have secured them that on certain times. But yeah, it's really fucking hard. And then you're going to give them head fuck, stuff growing in someone's roof. Right. Yeah.

You guys have it right. I mean, I assume there's lots of money to be made from it, and that's why it's all legal here now, but it seems... I'm pro. She was like... I am pro. I am pro your medical marijuana laws.

This lady is like... She fucking kicked me off. She's like, okay, take one of these in the morning and one of these at night. Yeah. Like, indefinitely, and see how it goes.

And, yeah, so here's something I don't know if you knew this about using marijuana. I certainly don't know if you do, Sarah. You're a parent. But it's pleasant.

Sure. It's a not unpleasant feeling. Yeah. Turns out there's something in this marijuana business. Yeah. I have not figured out to what extent it's certainly, I mean, it's not – it has not led to a cessation of my headaches.

But – Ah. That's annoying. Yeah. I mean that was never – I never anticipated that it would. Right. You know, if there were a lot of people who were like, oh, yeah, I just smoked some weed and my headache goes away, then I would have been on it a lot longer before this. Right.

Reports are generally much, much, much more mixed. But, yeah, whether or not it is effective, I'm a chiller dude. I mean, you, like, get Evil Dead now. Oh, I love it. You get Evil Dead. Duh. Remember to get that consonant at the end. I expected it to be a bigger deal.

Right. I expected being high on marijuana to have more effect. Sure. Frankly. I was like, this is what it is. Nice buzz. It wasn't like my face is turning inside out. Sure. Frankly. I was like, this is what it is. She's talking some good stuff. That's a nice buzz. It wasn't like my face is turning inside out.

No, not in the slightest. You were not flying. You didn't try to fly out the window or eat a baby in a sandwich. Yeah, I mean, California cheeseburger. Yeah, exactly. I'm taking like the baby dosage. You know, it's like the equivalent of taking a baby aspirin every day, but I have tried it more enthusiastically and found that even with a more expansive dosage, I am still kind of like, well, my hands are tingling a lot and I have a gentle sense of well-being, but I definitely have

not been laughing at Cheech and Chong yet. More so than you already do. Right. Those Fat Freddy's cat comics are just ever great. I do laugh a lot. Have you had the munchies? Have you experienced the munchies? Well, I expected that,

I expected a more of like a craving when instead what I found was more of a kind of a general sense that I could eat anything at any time. Like I expected to be like, I got to get some chips or something. Like I really am like I could really go for some chips or something. Like I really am like I could really go for some chips or something. Yeah, chips are good. Whereas like what I generally feel is that there's no time that I'm unwilling to put food in my mouth. I feel like that generally. I am completely unsatiated and just like ready to go whenever.

Sure. I think that is something that like that is a thing about medical marijuana is that like you will not, you know, maybe not will not, but you are less likely to be surprisingly higher than you thought. Like it is like you can just be a little high, especially those mints that you talked about. I've basically only had bad experiences with edibles until someone gave me a couple of those mints and I'm like, oh, this is great. So anyway, I think it is like they do make it so, you know, you will not be high as fuck when you don't want to be. Yeah, that sounds nice. Yeah, it sure is.

So anyway, I think it was sort of my overall evaluation of marijuana. It seems nice enough. You know, probably should have started with that 20 years ago. Today is the first day of your life. 16 or so. As a pothead. Yeah, now I'm... As a filthy pothead.

I mean, I've noticed myself becoming a lot danker overall. General levels of dankness have increased. Yeah, and we've got three new roommates at the house. Oh, cool. Squid, Peanut. Yeah. Goober. Yeah.

And Goober's girlfriend. Previously, my status as being 420 unfriendly had really been a hindrance. Sure. To getting. And you were not very discreet. Yeah, exactly. Got those X-Files posters up around the house. Amazing.

Have you got new posters? Yeah. Well, I took out all the light bulbs and put in black lights so you have X-Files so that's how you can see the magic eye posters yeah I'm super

you know what I love fucking shit that's super heavy like Zep I love Zep I love cranking up the Zep you do have

I mean you are a home stereo enthusiast that's true that's so there you go I have a marijuana fits perfectly into that marijuana and home stereo enthusiast. That's true. That so? There you go. I have a marijuana fits perfectly into that.

Marijuana and home stereo era home stereo as well. Sure, there you go. I think I've kind of got the home stereo that Jason Segel from Freaks and Geeks

dad might have. Sure, yeah. Hey, you could hotbox quite nicely in the studio. Yeah, you got a hotbox for studio, baby. It is hotbox in the studio, man. I think we would have to do really a ton of work using my weird electronic cigarette vape stick or whatever it is.

I knew you could get it done. I knew you could get it done. Congratulations, Jesse. Thank you very much. I'm very happy for you. Thank you very much. Yeah. My therapist was like, you know, it occurred to me you might be experiencing this as a loss.

And I said, yeah, well, that's true. I have in a way been deflowered. But on the other hand, here I am doing a teenage thing for the first time ever. Yeah. I've spent – I'm checking my watch now. It's, let's see, 20 years being 36. So it's nice to try out. I'll tell you one thing. I had had a conversation with a friend about parenting while using Mecmon.

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. And I was a bit skeptical of the prospect for all the reasons that child protective services might be. But she was like, you know, as long as you're not very high, it really makes it easier. And that is true. Like the extent to which I'm willing to do something just that takes a long time and is boring, like relating to children. Yeah, a jigsaw. I love – Jigsaws are –

Yes. Yeah. I've heard that getting high and doing a puzzle with your kids is fun. I can't relate to this because obviously I come from a country where marijuana is illegal and I would not be doing illegal activities around my child. But there's a thing over here with all the mums like doing pinot, mum wine, you know, the mum o'clock wine thing. And it seems to me if you're going to be that excited about getting drunk in front of your kids, it should be OK to also be slightly stoned in front of your kids. I also think that – If it's legal and stuff.

stoned in front of your kids. Yeah, I also think that... If it's legal and stuff. Using marijuana to spend time with your kids is definitely safer, both physically and emotionally, than drinking. Being bitchy. Pissed around your kids. Yeah. Sorry.

And new levels to Paw Patrol, I'm sure. Oh, yeah. Holy shit, man. Oh, my God. Oh, bro. Those pups. Have you got Hey Dougie over here yet? No.

I'm going to send you some tapes man. Have you got Show Me How to Dougie? I guess they didn't get Show Me How to Dougie. It's a teen dance. Obama did it. So yeah anyway. Congratulations to me. On becoming the king of drugs.

Very proud of my achievements. And I will say that teenagers shouldn't do it. It's too pleasant and boring. Congratulations to England on being a fascist state, man. Yeah, God save the queen. More like God don't save the queen. Let her die. Oh, come on, man. Come on, man. I'm just like God don't save the queen. Let her die.

Come on, man. Come on, man. I'm just saying I wouldn't save her. I'm not saying I'm going to do something to her. I have heard she ain't no human being. That's true. Thanks for that, by the way. We invented you. Can we please be in the Commonwealth Games?

It's nice to come and visit the colonies every now and again. The colonies. The colonies have gone barbaric. Guys, I don't mean to go full morning radio DJ on you, but did you hear that a Russian curler in the Olympics got banned for failing a blood test? I did hear that. Do you just want to get super swole? Yeah. failing a blood test? I did hear that. Do you just want to get super swole? Yeah.

You fuckers aren't going to believe how fast I sweep ice. I mean, that seems to be part of it. Who can sweep the ice the fastest? How gently I push this obelisk. How is Scotland doing? It's on at the wrong time for us to see it.

Does Scotland have its own Olympics team? The women, the women's curling team were all Scottish, like dinner ladies. And they're like these cool, hard as nails women. And I love them very much. And I haven't kept up with what they're doing this,

this time, but I don't know. I don't know how they did. I'm glad that that independence referendum led specifically to uh scotland remaining part of the united kingdom but their olympic team no they are they are part of the the great british team they are they are i think no one else in this country would be interested apart from scottish women and god bless them i the good thing about the winter olympics and i imagine you won't be hearing this until a few weeks after the Winter Olympics,

but a good thing about the Winter Olympics is, in my opinion, the extent to which someone can claim Bulgarian citizenship and compete in that kind of skiing where you go over a lot of bumps. I think

that is good. I was waiting for a friend in a bar and they were texting because they were going to be late. And I was texting back, hey, you know, no rush, it's okay. I'm having a good time here. Curling is on TV. And it auto-filled to a curling emoji?

The little curling thing exists? Anyway. Wow. Did they get a lot of use out of that? Yeah. Anyway. Sure. What a time to be alive.

Yeah. God bless America. God bless America. I'm never coming home now. And God bless the International Olympic Commission. No, no, my friend Jesse's on pot. No, I'm never leaving. I just sort of watch him being high.

Guys, drugs are cool. Sure are. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. Going into a bullseye interview, I know that it's somebody who does amazing work. I don't know what's going to happen. Oh, that's interesting. I never thought about that. Is that possible?

That's possible. Yeah. Should I check with your therapist? No, but I will be. Who are you, dude? You all over the place. I got a lot of respect for you, man. That's dope. Bullseye. Creators you know. Creators you need to know.

Find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, the King of Drugs. Jordan Morse, Boy Detective. Sarah Morgan, International Eel Smuggler. When something momentous happens to you, like you finally get to meet Horatio Sands at your local marijuana dispensary, we ask you to call us for our segment, Momentous Occasions. The phone number is 206-984-4FUN.

That's 206-984-4FUN. Here's our first telephone call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse Goh. This is Whitney in San Diego, and I have a momentous occasion. I was sitting on my sofa with my cat on my lap, and I needed to get up to turn off the NES. Can you pause it, Brian? Can you pause it?

So far... It stands for Nintendo Entertainment System, by the way. Yeah, so far Wait, what am I talking about? If you're listening to this podcast, you know that. Yeah, I mean, so far Who am I doing that for? My concern is this.

This segment is called Momentous Occasions. We have tens of thousands of listeners to Jordan Jessica. And all of them are All of them are in that exact description. With cats on their laps. I'm wondering if she's going to turn out to be girl Jordan. Yeah, could be. Could be.

The ghost of Christmas, Jordan girl. Is this a CS? She could be. I am calling from Earth 2 where genders are swapped. Like that adventure. Plus press play. I have my cat have to jump on the floor. I decided to crab walk to the NES and turn it off with her on my lap.

And I managed to get there without disturbing her and then get back to the sofa and cuddle with my cat. That's it. Bye. That's so fucking dope. Anybody else turned off? Yeah. I was just thinking you. Anybody else turned on? Yeah. Anybody else kind of like... I was just thinking you need to marry this woman right now.

This is Girl Jordan and you need to find each other. I'm going to take the old... What's that train called that goes to San Diego? Anyway. Oh, the Bone Zone Express. I'm picturing it like... That's the one. I'm picturing it like in the Exorcist

outtakes when she crab walks down the stairs oh yeah they're all gonna die up there like that's the cuter

that but adorable yeah yeah with a cat and an NES yeah god playing let's say

Little Nemo the Dream Master oh wow that's a fun one great game I was gonna suggest RC Pro-Am too sure well it's really fun especially you Great game. I was going to suggest RC Pro-Am, too. Sure.

Well, it's really fun, especially you get those knobby tires. It's too hard. I've got to get some knobby tires. Knobby tires is a famous British celebrity. I know you do. That British porn star. Sure. God, a real bummer about knobby tires is how he was fucking all those underage people in the 70s.

Like all British celebrities, yes, he was fucking underage kids, yeah. I would love this lifestyle. I would do it with my cat. Not the underage child. No, no, no. We've moved on from that. The NES cat walking. The cat NES lifestyle.

Yeah, being a human table for a cat. To just sit there and play baseball stars. Well, I have a dog, so it would be my dog. Coco would be sitting there. But, God, and then Crab walking around like some kind of fucking yoga master. I know. I know. I mean, I don't know.

Maybe you should suggest this to the cat yoga people. Oh, right. Yeah. Can everyone have their own Eddie S? I mean, it could be. I mean, I think we're romanticizing this. We've seen it. We've heard a small snippet of this woman's lifestyle.

She could have a high-stress job. She could have ailing family members. It could be that her life is a living hell except for the, you know, 40 minutes a week when she gets to crab walk with her cat to the NES. Jordan, can I tell you something I overheard in cat yoga? Namaste. No, actually, it's Castlevania. Pretty good,

I guess. I'm into it. I like from the cat's point of view is the cat totally thinks it deserves this treatment. The cat's just like, yes, and? They're entitled, yes. Of course you're carrying around like a fucking human throne. Of course you are.

Where's my fancy feed, bitch? There's food in your lap, too. A little snack on board snack, please, while we're doing this journey. Do you guys think it was a vintage NES or an NES classic? I think it was an NES classic. Okay. You think so? You think she went on eBay?

I think it was an NES classic. Okay. You think so? You think she went on eBay? I know that you just downgraded this relationship from marriage to fling. Sure, yeah. Sorry, baby. I'm a rambling man.

It's a long way to San Diego. Yeah. I guess she wouldn't have said that if she was just playing Nintendo games on a Nintendo Wii. Right, yeah. But why would you have said Nintendo games on a Nintendo Wii. Right, yeah. Or NES games on a Nintendo. And she could have said game console or my video game. And she was, you know, it was a brag. Right. It's a point of pride for her that she still owns and plays an NES.

Right. Anyway. She's got to get her Bubble Bobble. She's got to get that Bubble Bobble. Bubble Bobble, baby. As Bootsy Collins famously says. Right, sure. Yeah, no, I think that's one of the best things anyone's ever done.

It sure is. It's really good. I feel like in recent months, I've come to often be, let's be frank, bagging on some of these callers who call in really thinking they're, a lot of them are dudes who really call in thinking they're hot shit them are dudes who really call in thinking they're hot shit sure and I feel like

obliged to take them down a peg okay because I'm the underdog here and in this case I feel like

I need to lift it up a peg yeah I need to exalt this call yeah and this experience the peg is not appropriate

on which this is no needs to be on a higher one Jordan's lost the power of speech he's looking up this call and this experience. The peg is not appropriate on which this is. No. It needs to be on a higher one. Jordan's lost the power of speech. He's looking up train time. Me not want to talk more. Me want RC Pro-Am too.

It's too hard. You don't like the controls? I don't like the controls. Well, you should play it against your cousins in Virginia. Okay. That's really fun. That sounds fun. I recommend that highly. Sounds fun. Yeah, I mean, another option

would be to play Tecmo Bowl. Sure. I recommend using the Chiefs so you can have Christian Okoye. Yeah, well, I mean... A lot of people are like, oh, the other people love Bo Jackson. She loves Bo Jackson. No, Christian Okoye. Oh, okay. It's your secret weapon. Yeah, that's a secret weapon. He's not as good as Bo Jackson. Hey, sorry,oya. Oh, okay. It's your secret weapon. Yeah, that's his secret weapon.

He's not as good as Bo Jackson. Hey, sorry, Sarah. Just sorry about that. No, I'm kidding. The only way NES references are so basic that I wouldn't even join in. It's okay. We can talk about Bauhaus or whatever. I'd play as Princess Peach for fuck's sake. I will only play as Princess Peach because she's shit, but she floats.

She's not shit. No, she's not. She can levitate. Yeah, she's, yeah. She's a lot like David Lynch in that sense. But she floats, yeah. Yeah. You were saying that you might, because your child is getting to be console age, you might reinvest in a PS1.

Yeah, I was actually just thinking, this is a chat I should have with Jessie off mic about what console I should look for on eBay for my child. Because, yeah, she's five. She's showing an interest in games. I would really want her to get into like Parappa the Rapper, but I don't think it's too early. I think five is too – five, they really – I mean, at least my daughter has a real hard time with a controller. Yeah. That's the biggest thing.

I bought a couple of those. Yeah. That's the biggest thing. I bought a couple of those. They unfortunately stopped making Xbox Kinect games. But there were a couple for the last Xbox that were good for kids. There was like some Sesame Street ones and stuff. A movie Jumpy Ram one feels like a good thing to keep.

Yeah. I think the answer is to wait in general. I had been – some people recommended that I try this game called Stardew Valley. And as I've talked about on this show, I've now played it for 60 hours, which is two and a half days, not counting sleep. That's one full work week plus some extra. Do you have a wife in the game? No, nor do I have a wife in real life anymore. Oh, okay. She left you because of too much Stardew Valley. Yeah.

I don't, but I have a lot of jam that I make. I make a lot of jam. You can open up your own Knott's Berry Farm. That's my goal. I have a lot of ancient fruit. Not to brag, but I have a lot of ancient fruit. And I'm pretty much maxed out. My

skill points are pretty much maxed out at this point. I'm a regular Nick Weiger in this department. Sure. But I hate it because it's not fun. I mean, it sounds awful. It's just something you do compulsively. I do not. Yeah, that kind of game is never.

Like, I guess I liked SimCity a little bit as a kid, but I mainly liked playing it for like an hour and then commanding a tornado to come and destroy the town. I will play SimCity forever, but that is bad. Now, my children love it, which is a problem. Stardew Valley. Yes. Okay. Now, they're not allowed to play it. I think it would destroy their brains.

Okay. You really have to focus on- What will the kids play? I mean, at this age for console games, I don't know. There may be some things for PlayStation. For Xbox, which is what I have, there's pretty close to literally nothing. There is a game that is a real nice game called Unravel where you are a bit of string in a knot that runs around and has to collect more string and travels through the memories of an old lady. Some kind of Scandin old lady. Wow.

Some kind of Scandinavian game or something. But it's like a little puzzle game that I think actually makes them use their brains. Right. These kids, the kids just play Minecraft, and I think Minecraft is poisonous. Yeah. I can't tell, but it seems poisonous to me.

That's just why I'm thinking about going old school, getting an old NES or a PlayStation 1 or something. Then you can really rot the shit out of their brains with what's called... 8-bit style. Jomo style. You've got to get them that robot that goes with the Nintendo. I know it's not 8-bit.

Oh, Rob, the video robot. Tell me it's not 8-bit. I know it's not 8-bit. NES is 8-bit. NES was 8-bit? Yeah. Okay. You're right about that.

Right. I think the hard part we'll protect you from getting video game corrections on twitter I know these game of gates guys yeah the hard part is finding a game

that is not simply you know test of reaction time type thing because that I think really fucks up kids heads

okay I think and I think a thing fucks up kids' heads. Okay. And I think a thing, too, now is that so many kids these days, the modern kid is used to playing things on an iPad or an iPhone. Yeah, let's say she already plays iPad games and, yeah. Yeah, so I think they just don't make console games that are appropriate for kids because there's no market for it. It seems like console games are all pitched at us types. She's played a little bit of Fallout 4 with me.

Sure, yeah. But I literally – I went online and paid like full price. I mean two years after it came out, full price. But $35 or whatever for Fallout 4 simply because while I had avoided it. Because I didn't particularly care for the milieu. I just needed something. That I would want to do more than play Stardew Valley. Sure. Like I just needed something that was.

That involved some beauty. And meaning. More than Stardew Valley. That I would be interested in doing. And because it is a nuclear bomb Skyrim, I figured, well, as much of a – this is like me replacing addictions with addictions basically. I'm like, yeah, well, I mean this is the methadone. Sure.

Which will be on next. Yeah. You're on weed, baby. I would love some medical methadone. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Podcasts. Podcasts. Podcasts.

They're audio programs that tell smart stories in innovative ways using editing techniques like this. Like this. Like this. But let's face it, all that smart stuff can be exhausting. That's where Stop Podcasting Yourself comes in.

It's so stupid. It's just two stupid dinguses being dumb idiot jerks for 90 minutes. Stop Podcasting Yourself. The stupid show that smart people love. Find it on iTunes. Or MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan Jesse Goh.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Sarah Morgan, international eel smuggler. Sarah, it's always a joy to have you here on Jordan, Jesse, go. We're so grateful that you come visit us in Hollywood once or twice a year and take the time to stop into this studio. That is why I just come here. Yes. I have no other reason to be in town.

Sarah, can I plug something for you? Sure. I was listening to Bigipedia on the way over here. This is a series you did ten? Ten-ish years ago. Yeah. That you can very easily get. I know sometimes British radio content is a little tough to listen to in the US.

This was a fucking easy Amazon click. Yeah, it's on Audible. Yeah. It's written by myself and Matt Kirshen, who I think has been on this show or other Max Van Shoe's before, and Nick Deedy and Kerry Marks. And we wrote it like about 10 years ago. show or other Max Van Shoe's before. And Nick Deedy and Kerry Marks. And we wrote it like about 10 years ago. And it's

a sort of pastiche on Bigopedia and how you sort of fall down click holes on the internet, which no one knew was a thing when we put it out on radio for about 10 years ago. And it wasn't a well-received, but it's literally the thing we are all the most proud of having written, which is

slightly tragic at this stage in our career. It's so fucking funny and packed with jokes. Yeah. It joked – Too Fast, I think, was the review. Exhausting. Yeah, it's really exhausting. How is the name spelled? Biggie-pedia, B-I-G-I-pedia, like Wikipedia, but Biggie.

But I think it's easy enough to find. Yeah. While you're there, you listen to like that John Ronson thing. Oh, sure, yeah. That John Ronson porn thing sure yeah that John Ronson porn thing why are we plugging a competitive service

oh I'm sorry we could sell it oh because of Sarah's show yeah because I wrote on it it's probably on iPlayer or something too

I was trying to explain it to Jordan earlier and I said it's a little bit like the Beef and Dairy Network as it's like a found footage kind of thing

and Beef and Dairy Network is fucking tremendous down a found footage kind of thing and Beef and Dairy Network is fucking tremendous down on the MaxFun Network. I am... God bless Ben Partridge. I am sick. I am sick and tired of these monsters

who listen to other MaxFun shows and don't listen to the Beef and Dairy Network. Yeah. It makes me ill. Wankers. It makes me want to cry.

Sure. It really hurts me. Who are they? Who even are they? What kind of world do we live in? It doesn't seem like it's the kind that I expected No The last thing I expected was for people not to listen to the Beef and Dairy Network

Why would you not listen to the Beef and Dairy Network? Fucking Andy Daly was on there Isn't that Is that not enough for you? It's so funny It's so funny Their cereal pastiche Yeah

I kissed my fingers Yeah they're in the midst They're in the midst of an investigation right now. Yeah. It's really funny. It's really funny. It's so good. I love that Ben, let's just keep talking about it. It's all done in that weird present tense that they do on those kind of serial shows. So it's like, I am walking up the path. This town is like, and it's all done in present tense even though the thing was recorded and hearing

Ben do that in his lovely British accent is very funny it's a really fun show anyway thanks for plugging no problem trying to get you a little residual money

thanks for plugging BiggerPK just to recap I've written nothing since then. That was the peak of my career. Yeah. Check out something that Sarah Morgan won't get paid for you checking out that came out 10 years ago. But you can tell us on Twitter.

Check out a show that Sarah Morgan has nothing to do with other than the general fondness for it. Should we plug the Danger Mouse reboot? Sure. I've written for the Danger Mouse reboot. Wait, what? Yeah. Isn't that cool?

Yeah. Wow. What a credit. I know. My best friend, my childhood best friend, his mother was English, and I think his parents had met in England maybe, and they had satellite TV, and it was so that they could watch EastEnders and Danger Mouse. Does the Danger Mouse reboot have Bananaman?

Bananaman? Bananaman is not in the Danger Mouse reboot. Okay. Wow. He wasn't a spinoff from Danger Mouse. So the Danger Mouse that I watched as a kid, which was probably on... Nickelodeon, I think it was. Yeah, something like that. You would see a Danger Mouse cartoon and then you would see a Banana Man.

Like Garfield and U.S. Acres. Sure. Another reference you definitely understand. No idea. But Banana Man and Danger Mouse were both popular television shows from my youth, but they're not – yeah. They were not affiliated. Not affiliated. Banana Man has not been rebooted, sadly.

I think the goodies are all still with us but working on other projects. Okay. I don't know if you know this. In the UK, Saved by the Bell was an hour. And they were just cut between episodes of Saved by the Bell and episodes of Out of This World. And Sister, Sister. It's all the same to you. Yeah.

I mean, they literally were all the same to me. That's very cool to write for the Danger Mouse. Thank you very much. I to you. Yeah. I mean, they literally were all the same to me. That's very cool to write for the Danger Mouse. Thank you very much. I think so. Yeah. Jordan, is there anything that you need to say before we go? Nah. Okay, cool.

Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is the disembodied voice laughing outside of the studio. His piercing laugh comes to him naturally and is not fake. So if you don't like it, what can you do? I mean, to be frank, I understand. You know? Yeah. It's a lot. Yeah.

But what are you going to do? He's a nice guy. We really like him. He does a good job. He's the producer of the program. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can find us on Facebook in the MaxFun Facebook group. You can find us at MaxFunCon.

I think there are a couple beds left, like literally less than five beds left. But you can find that at MaxFunCon.com. And we'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Thank you. Jordan, Jessica.