Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 53: Whipped Her False Lover

Episode Date: March 2, 2008

Comedian Jasper Redd co-hosts.  Discussion centers on the downfall of Western civilization, particularly in Los Angeles, plus an article from the New York Times circa 1877.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and sex and run you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is... Jordan, Jesse, go! Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks, Solomon, friendly, maggoty, maddy, twiddle, Jesse Go,

Whipped her false lover. Jesse Thorne gets a lashing in a Jersey City street, says the New York Times. Let's go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Special guest on the program this week, Jasper Redd, comedian Jasper Redd.

Welcome to the show, Jasper. Hey, thanks for having me, y'all. No, it's a pleasure to have you, sir. So, what was this flowerpot situation going on outside of my door? Oh, yeah, man. Before you buzzed me in and got into the lobby, this guy on the street comes up to the gate. He's like, hey, buddy. I was like, yeah.

He's like, this flower pot keeps getting closer and closer to the street. Was this, how, on a scale of one to ten, how gross and homeless was this guy? Nah, dude looked like he had money. You know, he was clean. You know, he looked good. You know what I mean? He said, hey, this flower pot. He was a respectable gentleman, but.

He got into his Bentley. Like, he's been watching this flower pot for a minute. Was this guy, do you think this guy lived in the building? Was he like a middle-aged korean guy nah he's a white dude you know gray hair like i said gray-haired white guy probably doesn't live in this building mostly middle-aged korean guys and it's like he finally caught somebody it's like standing by the flower pot he had to tell you know and i said i don't even live here but he was like man it's crazy it is crazy because you know what flower I don't even live here. But he was like, man, it's crazy.

It is crazy. Because you know what? Flower pots don't just move themselves. It's true. Usually someone has to do it. Yeah. It's probably Jasper. Yeah.

I suspect Jasper. It's a conspiracy. He's wearing a track jacket. Probably so he can keep warm with a flower pot moving. That's all I'm saying. Oh, by the way, introduction of this week's program. We've actually gone on location to a sawmill so that's good is the sawmill something that existed in other places besides the bay area jasper you lived in the bay area for a while but you didn't grow up there you're from tennessee or something like that yeah man i don't know too

much about sawmills okay jordan do they have the sawmill in Orange County? They do, but it's a place that has Margarita Monday. Oh, in the Bay Area, it's a place where you buy unfinished furniture, I think. And the song goes, you need it, we got it, oh, at the sawmill. Oh, that's tight. Nice. I know, it's a good tune. It's a good record. Yeah, it was number 14 r&b in 1987

i never never cracked the pop chart though um underground hit yeah exactly you know i'm not you know i'm not here to sing songs that everyone knows you know i'm like this is like an educational mission for me i want to bring great music to people. If you guys want to hear Britney Spears, tune into another podcast. Yeah, sorry. But if you want to hear local jingles from the 80s. Underground jingles. Absolutely, the real shit.

The real shit. Not uncut. You know what I'm saying? I'm not going to... If you want an 80s local jingle mixtape, send a self-addressed stamped envelope. K-O-F-Y TV 20 stereo. K-N-X 1070 news radio. You got anything, Jasper?

Got any local jingles? What about Tennessee today? Do they have any good local jingles? No. Fair enough. I'm sorry, man. Jasper, you're off the show. The jingle movement didn't hit Tennessee.

They haven't yet found music. Yeah, man. We'll be back in just a second. I'm Jordan Jesse Gell. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, I know sometimes you've been known to refer to yourself as Jasper T. Redbone. Yeah, that's my favorite. Okay, well, then you're going to have to chime in and drop that after Jordan says his nickname. It just so happens, Jordan, that yesterday, last night, when I was supposed to be working, but I didn't want to be working because it was nighttime, I was sitting at my computer, and I was like, you know, sure sure i have a google news alert that tells me

whenever anyone writes anything about jesse thorn but what about jesse thorn with an e at the end so i thought maybe people are saying terrible things about me and they're misspelling my name perhaps out of spite and i would never know if i didn't do a google search for jesse thorn with an e at the end okay no this is this is entirely did you stop working to set this up or do you consider this part of work uh i consider this part of the many many things that i do to occupy myself while i'm actively not working fair enough like when i'm i really should have been researching an interview that I have to do later on today, but I decided that an equally useful use of my time

was to Google my name misspelled. But as it happens... It's almost like masturbating, man. Yeah, well, I would never dream of doing that um this is when i at night when i'm on the internet by myself um yourself out like well i could masturbate to this these millions and millions of units of pornography or i could set up a different Google alert for myself. Okay, now I searched for Jesse Thorne with an E at the end and I learned some interesting things.

I added as a Facebook friend a guy whose name is Jesse Thorne with an E at the end who lives here in Los Angeles. Wow. Does he seem cool? What is he into? His picture kind of creeped me out. Well, you can't look at his profile until you're friends with him. So I added him as a friend and i'm hoping he's going to approve me

okay i said hey jesse thorne with an e i'm jesse thorne without a knee and i hope that was enough to convince him wait what was his picture what was he doing he was like a black and white it looked like he was it looked like he was like a uh it looked like he was doing a publicity shot for his solo album after he left Nickelback. Gotcha. But he was younger. I mean, he was like our age. He was mid to late 20s. He wasn't like mid to late 30s.

But it was like a black and white full body shot where he was staring into the future. Nice. That was his Facebook page. Denim vest? I don't recall if there was a denim vest, but yes, there was a denim vest. If not, actually, he had a kind of a spiritual denim vest on. Yeah, exactly. And it had a spiritual Indian eagle on it. That's an Indian and an eagle. Gotcha. Okay. So when I searched my name, this is what I found. I see this headline.

You know how Google has a headline on the thing when you search for it that said, Whipped her false lover. And then I'm like, well, whipped her false lover, huh? And I looked at it, and it's NewYorkTimes.com. So I'm like, oh, I'm in for this. Absolutely 100%. So I click on it. Wait, okay, so if the headline was

Whipped Her False Lover, what website would you not have clicked on it if it was a part of? Well, I don't want to see Jesse Thorne-themed pornography. That's just weird. Okay, how do you know? Okay, I guess i don't know jasper you're the expert on jesse thorne themed pornography apparently you if you really want to blow son of young america oh you

may want to look into that man i've heard that that's what that's what did it for uh your paris hilton's yeah sure people people like their, but they also want to have accompanying pornography. Okay, well. You need a sex tape, Jesse. I'll look into it. It might have to, I don't think Teresa would go for it, so I think it might have to be a solo tape. At least post some. There's nothing that impressive about that, trust me.

At least post some arty nude pictures of yourself on your blog. Oh, okay. Kind of Diablo Cody style. Do that. You know, once, like four years ago, I posted something about Brendan Small appearing nude in Playgirl. And ever since, I get a very steady trickle of traffic looking for small nudes. Small nudes.

Yeah, why would you want a small one rather than a big one like that's what i want to know why are these people searching specifically do they have a specifically a fetish for small a small scale pornography maybe it's just the size of the nude photo like you don't want to monopolize your whole browser with your nudity moderate you want to be able to have an Excel? Moderate porn. These people are still on like dial-up and that's what's going on. They just, they don't, they can't spare the bandwidth for expansive pornography. So I clicked on the link on newyorktimes.com. Just while we're on the subject of nude photos, you know, a few months ago we did that thing

where people, where I took the underwear picture of myself. Yes. And people added clothes to it. Jasper, we did this thing recently where I was talking about maybe wanting to get a new wardrobe. So we took a picture of me in my underwear, and people dressed it up digitally. Like a paper doll, like a digital paper doll. Nice. How they would like to see Jordan dress.

Well, that initial photo of me in my underwear is the first thing that comes up when you search me on the internet. It's been mentioned to me a few times at work. Do we need to take it down? I can't decide if that's good or bad for my career. Honestly, I think... That just proves that skin wins, man. Yeah, right. I am getting a lot more jobs

on Showtime, late night Showtime shows. You know, actually, the reason Jasper recently was selected to host the American Eagle College Comedy Challenge was because of a few nudes,

a few tasteful nudes that he had put up on his website. Nice. And then they posted some of their clothes on me as they do you. Yeah, the hell could I tell you? That was exactly the idea. Got our face.

Wait, you were, okay, wait, wait. So what was this thing? The American Eagle College Comedy Sensation? The American Eagle Comedy Campus Challenge. There's a great video. If you search for, like recently I was like, I wonder if there's any good clips of Jasper Red doing stand-up on YouTube. So I typed Jasper Red into YouTube,

and the number one thing that comes up is this great thing that just says Jasper Red. And I'm like, oh shit, that's going to be Jasper Red doing comedy. But it's actually Jasper being as enthusiastic as I've ever seen him be about anything, about wearing his American Eagle clothes and making gestures and talking about the American Eagle comedy challenge. Free clothes make you happy, man. Wait, okay, so how did you feel about American Eagle? This is the shop in the mall.

It's kind of like Abercrombie-lite, right? Yeah, exactly. It's like the second-rate Abercrombie but like not not as overtly sexual right they're average anyways well yeah did you have an opinion about american eagle before you went into this oh i love them that's my opinion nice okay shout out to american eagle outfit did you really get... One time when I was like 10 years old, this lady at my church came up to my dad

and she's like, yeah, I work for Levi's and we're looking for kids to just be in pictures for our annual report or something like that. And we were wondering, Jesse seems like a cool kid, would he do it? And my family at the time was kind of... My dad particularly at the time was kind of my my dad particularly at the time was kind of on the low end of the income scale so this was big news to us so i went and did these and then i got

to like pick out a bunch of clothes like from the pile of like samples and shit at levi's world headquarters uh-huh was it like i got a lot of those t-shirts that said 501s button your fly was this that kind of situation? Like, did they take you to the inner sanctum of American Eagle and just let you take whatever you wanted? Yeah, you know, before the tour started, we had to all get outfitted, you know, me and the other comedians on the tour. So, yeah, it was in Santa Monica.

And, yeah, it was like, you know, those tours of us sp, back in the day. Right, the sure Nickelodeon toy grab. So you just run around just grabbing stuff. Did you get a bunch of American Eagle dreams, huh? Did you get a bunch of fake, ironic t-shirts like Chow's Noodle House? Nah, nothing's ironic at American Eagle. Oh, really?

All very sincere. I guess I had a girlfriend once that worked at an American Eagle, and I guess while she was working there, the big thing was those fake, ironic T-shirts. Oh, really? That was the worst. That was literally the worst thing that's ever happened. Like, you know, Joe's Crab Shack. Get crabs at our shack.

You know, it was like some cute slope for a thing that didn't exist. Oh, God. Barf on me. They're a little classier now, though. American Eagle. As far as I know, yes. Jasper, here's the question. Are you working

to get an engagement to host the second annual American Eagle College Comedy Competition. Because I'm looking at you right now. You're wearing like a track jacket. You're wearing what looks like a cotton poly blend vintage 70s shirt. You've got on like a Prince of Wales check tweed hat. None of these things scream American Eagle aesthetic to me.

Well, I'm trying to introduce a new line. Oh, good. So you're doubly valuable to the American Eagle Corporation. You know, to be the face, you got to have some ideas behind it. No, I understand completely. What colleges did you have to go to? Oh, I went to, you know, a lot of the big schools, man. Went to Michigan, went to University of Washington, Washington State, Virginia Tech, Marquette, Kent State.

Do these sound like some very American Eagle-oriented universities to me? Yeah, these are all schools that have American Eagle in the town. So, yeah, it just wasn't. Did a lot of the college kids, did you get a lot of invitations to party after the show? Sometimes we did, man, but we was on such a tight schedule that tour man that as soon as the show was over with you know we had a breakdown the production crew did and uh there was a production crew yeah everything was filmed was there fireworks nah nah but it was filmed it was and they never I don't know why they never aired the footage.

Because, I mean, they filmed the whole tour, man. You know, the behind the scenes of me and the comedians just, you know, trying to put their product out there and promote the shows. And then they just never did anything with it? Yeah, man. It was great footage. It's not even on the American Eagle website or something? Yeah, man. I mean, and it was during winter, winter man so it's a lot of snow

you think they would you think they would want to you want to make use of all that good snow footage yeah man because i was definitely bundled up in my market it's beautiful snow's beautiful too on film man they shoot they could have made like all-comedy version of Fargo. Sure. With the film and Jasper all bundled up. That sounds like a great... This could have been like the next Bergman type thing. Yeah, man.

You want to sell some coats? Yeah, show that. Show me in the snow. Can I talk about what I found on the New York Times website? Yeah, go ahead You've set up this alternate Google alert for yourself Thorn with an E whipped her false lover Jordan, I did not set up an alert

You are taking this way too far I searched one time just to fill in the holes Just so I would know what I missed with my regular Google alert I'm sorry i made you sound like an uh egomaniacal geek maybe i'll do that shit okay um so what i got was i clicked through to the new york times website and it just said pdf of this article is available so i'm like okay so i clicked on the pdf of the article this is the article. The date is in 1887. I'm just going to read the article.

It's a pretty short article. The headline in all caps with a period at the end is, Whipped Her False Lover. The sub-headline is, Jesse Thorne Gets a Lashing in a Jersey City Street. Okay, Mary Ellingsworth, a 19-year-old blonde of 104 1⁄2 Storm Avenue, Jersey City, figures in a horse-whipping incident. She came from Glasgow two years ago and sought her aunt in Brooklyn,

but learned from a Long Island railroad brakeman that she had gone west. Miss Ellingsworth found employment as a saleswoman in New York and took board at the residence of Miss Dara on Storm Avenue. She became acquainted with Jesse Thorne. Now, this is Jesse Thorne with an E. I don't want people to think that this is literally me, Jesse Thorne. This is Jesse Thorne with an E. And they finally became engaged. The wedding was fixed for next Sunday. Last Saturday night, Thorne met his sweetheart and asked that the engagement be broken. He had no money to support a wife, he said.

There was a flood of tears, but the girl finally consented and Thorne went away happy. Okay, second paragraph. The New York Times this is. Oh my God. This is a historical article from the New York Times.

It seems like newspaper writing has changed a lot. It seems like it's just changed a lot it seems like it's just recounting the thing yes for b this this really you know what this reads like this reads like nothing more than just an elementary school newspaper with more hyphens in it yeah like for example storm avenue which for some reason has a hyphen and new york which has a hyphen i don't know why that is hyphenated. Okay. New York, capital G.

Exactly. Okay. Sunday night when Miss Dara and Miss Ellingsworth were returning from church. This is positively ribald. I know. They saw Thorne walking down Bergen Avenue with a young lady on his arm. They saw him kiss her at the gate and heard him promise to meet her Tuesday evening. The plot is thickening, gentlemen. The plot is thickening.

Back in that day, to kiss someone and then promise to meet them Tuesday in public was just basically public sex. Exactly. Anal sex specifically. Public anal sex. On Tuesday evening, Miss Ellingsworth armed herself with a rawhide repaired to the trysting place of the two lovers and yay and presently saw her released suitor

walking up the street she met him halfway and drawing the rawhide from under her cloak, laid it vigorously about him. Oh, man! Nothing's better than this. He fled with her in pursuit, but finally managed to elude her. What? Why was this in the newspaper? Well, I think we're about to learn why this is in the newspaper. Third paragraph. The affair has caused considerable gossip on the Heights.

Miss Ellingsworth says she would not have cared for the breaking of the engagement if her consent had not been obtained by false pretenses. She had ordered her wedding outfit, and that made her feel a great deal worse. Oh, my God. outfit and that made her feel a great deal worse my god isn't that un-fucking-believable that is really good that is what jesse thorns were doing in the 19th century they were dumping their fiancés to go on a date they say they're dumping their fiancés because they're not in a financial position to be married. Actually, they just want to go on a date, but

if you ask me, Miss Ellingsworth is going to catch them and lay about them with a rawhide. Who went by motorcycle? Yeah, what was that motorcycle all about? Holy mackerel. Oh, man. Yeah, that was fantastic. that's just basically as funny in

old time as you can hope for a thing to be holy shit right yeah to to google search your name and have that can you imagine if you searched for jasper red spelled r-e-d instead of r-e-d-d and it turned out that in the 19th century there there was a Jasper Redd who was laid about with a rawhide. I may have to change that to my introduction, though. Yeah. Our next comic coming to the stage in the 19th century. You may have seen him on Comedy Central or in the 19th century.

Being laid about with a rawhide by Miss Ellingsworth. Oh, I remember that. She had ordered her wedding outfit and that made her a great deal worse. Put your hands together. Put your hands together. Oh, man. I wish I was alive in the 19th century.

Sounds really great. There was a lot of poop on the street. Garbage. There was people who went around collecting metal. Anything could be in the newspaper. Yeah, boy. Anything could be in, not just any newspaper, the New York Times, the Gray Lady. Do you think this was on the page called Gossip in the Heights? It's probably under elections. Holy mackerel. Do you think she was able to find a new beau? You know what? I think Miss Allingsworth's going to be okay.

I don't think we have to worry about her. You know, also what's funny about that is that the rawhide beating was premeditated. Like, it wasn't just an in-the-moment thing. She sees him with the guy. She happens to be holding a rawhide, but she planned it out. It's like, well, I'll go there, and then I will beat him with this, which is... I wonder if Miss Dara didn't have any, like, advice for Miss Ellingsworth. Because I would think that the boarding house woman

would be like, hey, now, don't lay about this gentleman with a rawhide. You may be sent back to Edinburgh. And she was, you know, like, you know, she's just a 19-year-old transplant. No, she's only been in the United States for two years. I'm sure it wasn't even her. She probably had to get the rawhide

from someone. I bet it was actually Miss Dara's rawhide. She seems like an instigator to me. I bet there was a lot of rawhides around Jersey City at the time. I think Jersey City was rawhide country back then. Maybe she just got a promotional rawhide from somewhere. Yeah, like they give them out

for certs, you know? The only rawhide with Retson. Wrigley's Spearmint. The rawhide jingles. Yeah, exactly. Sure, you know what we're talking about, Jasper. When it comes to rawhides, the 19th century, Jersey City.

If any of us were musical, we should probably make up the local rawhide salesman jingle. But we're not. But we're not going to. Yeah, I think we will. I think we should. How does it go?

Remix. Jersey City Rawhide. For all your Rawhide needs. Laid about with a Rawhide in the city streets. Canon. Hide in the city streets. Cannon. Jasper seems to believe that this song is going on our mixtape, which is hosted by celebrity DJ Don Cannon. Cannon, Cannon, Cannon.

He probably will. Probably will. We'll hide. Cannon, Cannon. I'd rather have it. I don't want to offend Jasper, but I'd rather have it hosted by Kid Capri if we could. Because I'd like to get some sirens and the Kid Capri. Oh, you got to get Kid Capri if you can.

Because he's the best at yelling. When it comes down to yelling, which is what you're looking for in a great mixtape host, you're looking for somebody to yell different stuff. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. It's sort of like with Real Big Fish, how they play horns in their songs. Yes, I'm aware of that. It's sort of like that, only for rap mixtapes.

Okay. You see what I'm saying? Thank you for bringing up that parallel analogy that I can understand. No problem. I just wanted to bring it into your wheelhouse, Jordan. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse.

Jordan. With us, Jasper T. Redbone here. The sponsor of Jordan, Jesse, go is I'm Jesse. Jordan. With us, Jasper T. Redbone here. The sponsor of Jordan, Jesse Goh is IWantToSeeThat.com. Jordan, people keep asking me to be their friend on IWantToSeeThat.com. I'm not getting any. No, they're not going to become my friend, and I'll tell you why, because that is not the purpose of IWantToSeeThat.com. Sure, that might be the purpose of Friendster.

I know that all our listeners are on Friendster. They're trying to get as many friends as they can. That's not what Iwanttoseethat.com is about. This is what it is. You make your real friends that are really your friends in real life your friends on Iwanttoseethat.com. These are people you may work with, people you may know from the gym, people that you actually might like to enjoy seeing socially.

You tell IWantToSeeThat.com what movies you want to go see. They tell IWantToSeeThat.com what movies they want to go see. And then it basically sets you up on friendship dates. To go see films, specifically. Specifically. It won't plan a restaurant for you guys to go to or a ball game or anything like that. Exactly.

Movies specifically. And then when you go see the movie, you can tell IWantToSeeThat.com what you thought of the movie. Then your friends can see what you thought of the movie. You can see what other people thought of the movie when you're trying to decide what movies you want to go see. I want to be clear. Jesse's concerned with the functionality of this website,

but I just want to say I'm fine with friend collecting on this. I just basically want to have the most I want to see that friends. It sounds like Jesse is way ahead. So, hey, if you live in North Carolina, don't worry about it. I just want to appear more popular than him. Jordan is willing to fly to movies. Yes, I will fly out to Butte, Montana to see Rambo with you. Jordan, not only has he clicked that he wants to see...

I cannot find anyone to go see Rambo with. Every movie on IWantToSeeThat.com, he is actually willing to travel to see anything. Actually, whatever. Weren't you recently in North Carolinaolina to see meet the spartans yeah you know whatever i will go to bismarck to see welcome home roscoe jenkins yeah exactly he's excited to see i will go to peoria to see spiderwick chronicles yeah absolutely you've actually been and what's what's really amazing is you already went to Peoria once to see Spiderwick Chronicles. You're willing to go back and see it again.

Spiderwick Chronicles, yes. I had a lovely time in Beaumont, Texas, seeing the hottie and the naughty. Well worth the $800 plane ticket. Wow. And then $10 movie ticket. Okay, so the answer is look for Jordan on there, not for me. Yeah. I want him give him but give him friends sure you can add jordan on the website but uh why don't you actually add your real life friends as well and then you can all actually decide whether or not what movies

you want to go see and that way you'll never have that situation come up where you say i went to go see the hottie and the naughty in beaumont te Texas recently, and your friend who lives in Beaumont, Texas is like, I wanted to see the hottie and the naughty, and I live in Beaumont, Texas. Why didn't you call me? I want to see that.com, the sponsor of Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

I am Jasper T. Redbone. There we go. This is working great. I feel like the more we do this, the more we have guests in here, the quicker they get on board. I mean, last week when we had Kevin Pereira on, he was right there with Sprinkles. It bodes well for a little program. You know what, Jordan? Speaking of that, I got a chance to go back on Sprinkles' show recently.

And I think I told them. AG4's attack of the show. AG4 TV's attack of the show. I told them, you know, because actually the studio is basically just down the street from my house. I mean, it's like a mile away, a really easy drive. So I said, you know, if you're having trouble finding a guest to talk about something, just give me a call and I'll just drive over and be on TV. It's fine with me. Sure.

trouble finding a guest to talk about something, just give me a call and I'll just drive over and be on TV. It's fine with me. Sure. So I'm thinking, we had a request on the forum that the next time I'm on G4, I address Kevin Ash Sprinkles. And I think that's absolutely within my means. Yeah. If I'm invited back on the show, which I can't say for certain that I will be.

Did you do a good job? I tried to do a good job, but I don't know. What really constitutes a good job? Was I wearing a necktie? Yes. Did I have an attractive pocket square? Yes. Did I do a good job? No. Hard to say. Absolutely not.

Hard to say. I mean, it was, as usual, I don't know what's going on in the world around me. You know what I mean? And part of this job is to comment on what's going on in the world around me. You know what I mean? And part of this job is to comment on what's going on in the world around me. Were there any questions about Coco? There weren't any questions about Coco or New Bunny Day. Speaking of which, guess what today is?

Oh, my God. It's New Bunny Day. Now, Jasper, just to bring you in on New Bunny Day, for the past few years... Jasper, you don't have to listen. You can just tune out if you want to. Nah, I don't care about bunny day. As a Christmas gift, Teresa has purchased me, each year, a bunny calendar. Now, what that means is every month...

Dude, shut up. Seriously. On the first of the month... Jesse. We have a little ceremony, Teresa and I, where I close and cover my eyes, and then Teresa turns the page to show the new bunny, and then I open my eyes and I see a new bunny every month. This happens every month on the first of the month. The items at fast food restaurants are getting weirder and weirder.

Anyway, this month's new bunny was actually two bunnies. It was two different bunnies, but they were both kind of like golden colored, and they were real hoppers. They'd kind of go like... Jesse, this is really terrible. We should stop doing this. Anyway, so... I'll quit.

Seriously, I will fucking quit if you keep this up. Point is, it's New Bunny Day, and it's a really exciting time. So I'm really happy to have you here, Jasper, today, because it's so rare that we actually tape on New Bunny Day. have you here uh jasper today because it's so rare that we actually tape on new bunny day um so anyway i there was some discussion on the forums about me calling uh kevin perera sprinkles i'm on board with this plan 100 absolutely one one hundred one thousand percent i might say well sprinkles it's blah blah blah blah blah blah blah something something something explaining a nerd phenomenon in the news.

Right. You see what I'm saying? You'll just say sprinkles nonchalantly. Just weave it in there. You know what I mean? And then most people are going to be like, I don't know what that was all about. No, most people listen to this podcast, though. Oh, that's true.

No, that's a good point. It's like the Today Show. Most people have seen it. Yeah, they just have it on in the background a lot of times, too. They know what the deal is with your Katie Couric or whatever. Oh, God. Well, let's talk about television, Jordan. Yeah, yeah, television.

I want to talk about television. We've both been doing all this television shit lately. Sure. Jasper's been pitching Comedy Central some show ideas. Yeah, you're lost, Comedy Central. You're lost. Comedy Central's going to have to take the L. Apparently they did not like Jasper's show idea.

You can always pitch the Comedy Network in Canada. Yeah, man, with the money, right? Why not? Yeah, it is in Canada, by the way. Do you think he would play well in Canada? I don't know, man, but, you know, I'm willing to give it a shot. He's willing to travel to the T-Dot if he has to. You know, man, but, you know, I'm willing to give it a shot. Yeah. He's willing to travel to the T-Dot if he has to.

You know. You know, Vancouver. I'm sure Jasper. As long as they pony up the loonies. That's their money. Oh, Jordan, have you taken any TV meetings? Here's the thing. I mean, I guess I've lived in L.A. for three or four years now,

and I've had a few TV meetings. Jasper, I sympathize. None of mine have gone well. But always it comes up. Always the question is asked in these TV meetings. I had one recently, and always the question comes up, so what are you watching? What are you into? What excites you on TV? And honestly, if I was to give an honest answer to this, it would be,

well, I don't have cable in my house, but I do watch at least one episode of Futurama a day. And sometimes I like to watch Mystery Science Theater episodes that people have uploaded to the Internet. And sometimes Frontline. Yeah, so we don't have cable. I want to have one of those meetings and just be like, oh, God, I have really been loving the road show lately. Antiques Roadshow, that's my number one. Right. Those two twin guys that appraise the furniture.

Holy shit. You know what? Call me crazy, but I think the future of television is Simpsons rerun. That's another thing that's in my wheelhouse to talk about do these people watch the tv shows and get excited yeah yeah no i mean i i think you know they're looking for me to say uh you know jackass yeah jack you know heroes it's always sunny in philadelphia battlestar galact Like, you know, I think they just assume because of the kind of guy that I am that I'm going to be. You just like nerd shit? Yeah, yes.

Been watching Lost this season? No. So I don't know. I mean, I've played it off a couple of different ways. You know, I've tried to fake it a few times. Definitely tried it like I've seen seven episodes of Lost in my life

like you know God that mystery just keeps getting weirder and weirder right? you know it is quite a mystery I've never seen, I tried to watch one episode of Heroes and fell asleep in the middle sometimes I want to watch the TV shows that they film on my block.

Yeah. Which would be The Unit, CSI, New York, and Heroes. Yeah. Those shows are always on my block. I just kind of want to see my block on TV. It's probably fun. Do you think that would work at one of these meetings? Just throwing it out there as a possibility.

Is your block ever on TV? Yeah, my block's been on TV a on tv a few times well there you go i don't i forget what shows anyways you know what would be a good answer to these people nash bridges yeah because who fucking doesn't like nash bridges you know what i mean you got nash you got uh cheech you got that you got that sweet car. Really cool car. Cool Mustang. And then there's Cheech. And then there's Cheech.

Oh, man. So I don't know. I mean, and maybe I'm thinking like it's, maybe it's better for my career if I just pony up the, I mean, how much is it a month to get a nice cable package? 50. 50 bucks? I was going to say 50. Does that sound right, Jasper?

Yeah, man. You got that cable? I do got the cable how do you like it it's lovely how much does it cost uh well me and my roommate split it so see you have some sort of direct tv tivo situation uh no but we got the uh time Warner on demand oh man see that's the thing if i got cable i would want to have like that heavy duty ass cable yeah yeah me too i mean i guess i could afford it but i don't know that i would ever watch it really basically all i want to watch is futurama and then play some video games and go to bed

that's and and this time i was in this time i i went the um And this time I went the... Did I accidentally hit my answering machine? I don't know. Something bizarre is... Oh, yeah. I accidentally... I should lock the keys on my phone. Yeah, Jordan.

Jeez Louise. This is embarrassing. Yeah. I feel like a real J.A. I'll tell you what I watch on cable, because we don't have cable here at my house either and basically we don't get broadcast TV either because it's brick building.

I think I get a really fuzzy Fox. Yeah. Oh, that sounds cute. Yeah, I get a real fuzzy Fox and CBS sometimes, but never when Letterman comes on. My mom basically through my entire life had never watched television. Like, literally never.

And not because she was against it on principle or anything. It was just not a thing that she did. And occasionally she would watch something on PBS. Like, just once in a while. And then when I graduated from high school, went to college, moved out, at some point, I don't know, maybe when I was like about 21, she got like direct TV. Like she went from never having cable in her entire life, you know, adjust the bunny ears so you can watch Wild America, to having like 250 channels or some shit that she barely even knows how to operate the remote control. But when I go and visit my mom's house, I just, all I watch is rap videos. Like I will just sit there and watch rap videos for like hours. I forget that like, that's what I did in college.

I really like watching rap videos. Like, I don't think like a lot of times, like if you turn on your BET, that's the only channel that shows rap videos for the most part. And and you watch the rap videos like a solid two thirds of the songs are shitty songs. You know what I mean? So I don't think it would work if I was trying to watch the rap videos every day because I'd be like this fucking shitty song again. I don't want to watch this, but I'll watch even a shitty rap video once because like, hey, here's this song. I wonder if I like this song. What's going on in this video? Oh, look at that lady. You know, look at that car there. Look at that car they're driving around, you know, like whatever's going on. And do you like to watch rap videos, Jasper? I had you pegged for an indie rock guy for some reason. Nah, you way off.

I had you pegged as a guy that was watching the Tegan and Sarah videos. See, I don't even know who that is. Okay. I am not an independent rock person. Rap videos, I do know. You've been known to wear an independent rock-oriented sport coat, though.

Yes, that was actually just more of a bargain thing. Fashion. At the time you were, as I recall, working at a pasta pomodoro. Yeah, man. That was the pasta days. Some people have their salad days. But you do like, so you like rap music. I love it, man.

I used to try to rap. You used to try and rap? Yeah, man. When did you give up rapping? When I figured out I was no good at it. Was there a particular instance or time you can think of to where you're like, I guess I'm shitty at this? When did the shift happen?

It's just when you realize. It was like when you try to fix your car, you open the hood. You try to figure things out. You're like, I don't understand. You're like, you know what? Yeah, you know. Yeah, so that's how it was. There's professionals.

Yeah. They can handle this. Look, I know pasta. That's right. You want to talk some portobello. You want some gemelli. Some sauce. Puntanesca.

Sauce. You're on it, Jordan. Sauce enters into it. Alfredo. Red sauce. Marinara. Spaghetti. I'll let your boy.

Italy. Meatball. What do you think, if you had cable, Jordan, would you be the kind of dude that's like, because when I have cable, one of the reasons that I don't have cable is that when I do have it, like when I'm visiting my mother in San Francisco,

I will just sit and watch the television for like three hours. Yeah. And not doing anything, like not watching anything, just kind of switching back and forth between rap videos and like the building of the Hoover Dam on the Discovery Channel or something. Yeah, no, I mean, I have the same thing. My mom has kind of a nice cable package,

and when I go to visit her in Orange County, television is definitely there, and I get excited to watch it. You know, like, oh, I'll watch a little TV while I'm at mom's house. It all just seems – everything seems like entertainment news to me. Isn't that all that's on TV these days? I feel like everything is like celebrity gossip. I don't know. Maybe my mom has a package or something like that.

She's got the celebrity gossip. Well, what she. Maybe my mom has a package or something like that. She's got the celebrity gossip. Well, what she should have gotten was the gossip in the heights package. Yeah. It's a good one. There's a lot more rawhide whipping in that one. Yeah, where we find out about scandalous petticoats that certain governor's wives may or may not be wearing. God, I just kind of hated that. Something fishy is going on at the Admiral's residence.

I feel like such an asshole. I feel like I'm one of those I-don't-watch-TV-guys-now, which I have always hated through my life. Just those people like, oh, I don't watch TV. Yeah, I read. It's called reading. That's what I do. God, I totally hate those people,

and I feel like I've become one. Let's be clear here. I don't know. Let's what I do. God, I totally hate those people. And I feel like I've become one. Let's be clear here. Let's be absolutely black and white clear. You do not watch television, but that does not mean that you read. You're not a reader. No, I don't read. No, God, no. You need more time to play video games.

Yeah, man. So, yeah, I definitely hope I'm not coming off like I have some sort of high horse about television. Because I like it. I would like to work in it. But I don't know. Just watching it never seems to work out for me. Well, most television is really shitty. That's the problem.

But the good news is, in my opinion, we're living in a golden age of television. Okay. Because think of all the good television shows that we could watch. Yeah. Like, granted. television okay because think of all the good television shows that we could watch yeah like like for like granted you know like let's say when i was like 10 years old or something like that cheers was funny sure you know and kind of a you know i mean cheers is just cheers you know it's like just like a really for a well-executed formula but you know it's funny you know the actors are very funny you know like so on and so forth but like 1991 or whatever 1992 i don't know maybe northern exposure was on then that's

kind of good you know it's not really good but it's kind of good i guess twin peaks was on for a year and a half at some point you know what what I mean? The shit was, it was a wasteland. You know what I mean? And now, you can watch Battlestar Galactica. It's a good show. You can watch The Wire. It's an amazing show. There's a lot of good things on television.

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I have a hard time watching one thing for an hour. Okay. That's maybe why I don't get into the more. Well, I mean, I'm not good at stealing things on the internet. Jordan, you know what the problem is with kids today? They just do not have the attention spans for television.

Yeah, right. You know? These video games are taking. It's the web clips. Exactly. But that's the beauty of, you have tivo or something man because that way you can just keep track of the shows that you like and that becomes your tv watching you know you just yeah so maybe maybe that's it maybe i just need to like go balls to

the wall and get super cable get tivo and see if i can see if i can get back into a you know little regimen of television watching. Can we talk about the deeper issue here, though, Jordan? Which is that for some reason, living here in Los Angeles, working in the entertainment industry, it has somehow become, and I'm not disputing that it is, I'm just thinking it's just kind of awful, that in order to keep up with your profession,

you need to do more dumb stuff. Yeah. No, no, that seems to be, I don't know. I'll tell you this, and I don't know, you know, I mean, obviously, I've done my fair share of complaining about Los Angeles on this program, you know what I mean? But, like, I really feel like Los Angeles is a place where trying to be smart or do good, something good is like somehow like actually frowned upon. Like that's kind of like, are you sure you want to be doing that? That's true, man. It's better to be stupid.

you want to be doing that? That's true, man. It's better to be stupid. Wait a minute. It is, man. Let's clarify your perspective here, Jasper. I don't know. Hold on. I want to maybe...

Oh, yes. Okay, go ahead. Clarify. I want to maybe present a more robust argument of this later. Okay, I want to see what Jasper is... what the point that Jasper is trying to make here because it sounded like what you were arguing was that it was fundamentally better, not just in Los Angeles, but overall in the world to be stupid. If you want a career, it is better to be stupid.

Oh, if you want a career. That was the part that we were missing. It's weird. It feels like I don't even really, I mean, obviously, you know, like, I work in public radio. You know what I mean? Like, I'm in this business where there is a premium placed on not being stupid. You know what I mean, it's either actively being dumb or it's the best you could hope for is making fun of being dumb. Okay.

You know what I mean? Well, here's been my experience with this. And I think it's a little more complicated than that. I think, I think. Sp a little more complicated than that. I think – Spill them. Sure. Okay. I think – I feel like in the – and I've worked in some real Hollywood-y environments since I've been here.

I've worked in some – on all the lots, and I've worked for some really, really dumb, dumb things. I've worked for some of the dumbest of dumb situations. Living with Fran. Yeah, I'm dumber. Yeah. That's true. You have worked on dumber things than that. That's maybe mid-dumb.

Yeah. And all the people... You know, frankly, there's... Jamie Kennedy's got some things going for him when it comes to creating sitcoms for Fran Drescher. Sure. He's the second Drescher. Sure. He's the second best at it. Yeah.

The first best being the person who invented the nanny. Mm-hmm. So, anyway, so yes. I mean, so let's, I'll maybe say that, you know, 10% of the people in these environments are those, you know, just catchphrase spewing, you know, trucker hat wearing, you know, guys, guys that you would, you know, think are the stereotypical LA guys. But, but I don't know, I don't, I, I honestly don't think that everyone is as dumb as that. I mean, I think that when you go out and you hear the, you know, when you feel like all people are talking about is Rock of Love or, you know, Britney's Meltdown or something like that.

I feel like the times that I've tried to have a more intelligent discussion with people, it's been successful, but I think people just – that's the common ground. Yeah, but that's my point. And I don't know if that's LA. I think that might be everywhere. That it's just – when you're having a conversation with people who you're not close to, the common ground is Britney's Meltdown or Rock of Love. I don't think it's necessarily LA. I feel like the times that I've tried to have a political discussion with somebody or about something deeper than that, it's been successful. it's been successful but you know

and it is and it is so much about appearances and relationships that you feel like you have to just go with the you know like alright I have to have a conversation with this person you know so much of it is appearance let's just go to you know

let's just go to flavor of love because we can all agree that you know that's dopey and you know it's trashy but I love it you know let's just go to flavor of love because we can all agree that you know that's dopey and it's you know it's trashy but i love it you know you kind of know that that conversation is going to go well but i don't think except here's the thing jordan and i'm not trying to be a dick about it no sure but i don't agree with that that's's the thing. Like, I'm completely on the outside of this. Oh, no, I'm not saying that I agree that Rock of Love is worth watching. But I'm just saying that two people unrelated, you know, two people who don't know that much about each other who are in a work environment or a casual drinks environment, like, what's the safest thing to bring up?

like what's the safest thing to bring up you know i mean maybe it's maybe it's because i um maybe it's because i've like worked mostly in non-profits when i've had real life jobs yeah yeah i think maybe i lived in san francisco and stuff but like i just feel like in the context that i'm used to that would be something that people would even even among those people who liked it unless they were specifically dumb people hanging out in a group of other dumb people in which case all bets are off but like if it was a mixed company people wouldn't go there they would go in the other direction they would think of the fanciest shit this the cleverest, sharpest shit they could think of and try and talk about that because it would be embarrassing to talk about something that dumb. Right. You see what I'm saying? Like that's the context that I feel like. And I don't

know, you know, I mean, obviously it's not like I'm like out on the town all the time here in Los Angeles, but like, I, I, I can say that, you know, every time Teresa comes home from her law school. Yeah. Yeah. That is all she ever, like, that is her social impression of every single person that she talks to that same specific thing. Like she'll, she'll say, I cannot believe these people. What the fuck is going on?

And like, Teresa is in law school. Like these are people, a group of a large group of people who've come together to gain an advanced degree you see what i'm saying like and that is what's going on there too and she was in college not that long ago and it was not what was going on yeah in her college well i mean college when you're in college you i feel like there's so much more shared things to talk about. I don't know. I feel like it's maybe more a... Well, she's in law school now.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Now that she's in law school, it's still an educational environment with people who are success-oriented enough to have a plan for their lives and be implementing it or whatever, no matter what you may think of the plan they have for their lives, which is often in this particular law school.

Like, let's see if I can make $300,000 a year my first year out of law school or something, you know. But but like these are people who are oriented towards success. I just I mean, I maybe I'm just sounding like an asshole, but like, it's not, it's not that it doesn't bother me that like some people are dumb in the world. Like that's fine. You know, it's just like, it's more about aspirations. Like it's more about like what you value and think is significant. Like it doesn't really matter how, like it's the part that bothers me isn't that there are less smart people here in Los Angeles. I think there are lots and lots of

smart people here in Los Angeles, especially in the entertainment industry, because if you want to be successful in the entertainment industry, you come to Los Angeles to work. And, you know, so there's, as many people often point out to me, and I totally agree, So there's, as many people often point out to me, and I totally agree, it's full of brilliant, creative people, this city. But the culture drives things down instead of driving things up. Yeah. You know what I mean? Does that seem like me just being a dick?

Maybe I'm just being a dick. No, there is a blatant dumbing down, I feel. It's just like all these dudes in like ed hardy t-shirts yeah it was i mean it's funny you know like the other day when i went to um when i went to g4 tv and like i mean you could tell when kevin was here like i just i think he thought he was like a really great guy like a really good guy and uh and everyone that i met there on the show was also like super nice and like clearly bright and like they work for the nerd channel. You know what I mean? So like they have a lot invested in like knowing about stuff and caring about stuff, you know, like

that's what being a nerd is all about, but like it's still kind of had at least 65% that tone. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, I mean, I guess that is something. I guess that is, you know, yeah. I mean, I guess I even, you know, I guess I would consider myself a, you know, you know, bright, culturally aware person. But, you know, I still, you know, I still organize, you know, segments in my work where girls in bikinis are washing a car, you know, I guess. Yeah.

And maybe that is, hmm. I wonder what that's i don't know hard to say jess all right everybody in la is dumb here's my headshot i concede jess if you ever run into this actively in your career? Because you're out. I mean, I'm sure you're at this point in your career where you're a successful comedian. You're still very young. You're the kind of handsome guy that people would want to host their show on MTV or something like that. You know what I mean? So you must be dealing with,

but you're also like your actual comedy is like very smart and sharp, but I would imagine that your skill set would also lend you to doing dumb things. So I would imagine that like when people are recruiting you, it's often for some dumb shit. Well, that's the thing about being a comedian, man.

They think if you're a comedian that your comedy is for all purposes. And it's not like that, man. Some people do a particular type of comedy. So sometimes I get called or offered auditions that really don't fit my brand of humor. Can you give an example? No, I can't, man. Give me one example. It'll maybe sound ungrateful

to have, you know, these opportunities. This segment is all about being ungrateful. Yeah, yeah. Nah, it's... Let's be clear. We really like the weather here in Los Angeles. It's beautiful. Beautiful weather.

72 and sunny every day. Absolutely. But, you know, I mean, being a minority in Hollywood, you know you're going to get some dumb shit thrown at your way. Because, you know, Hollywood keeps minorities in a certain place and you can't really brighten your wings too much. Or they say, no, that's not what y'all do this is what y'all do so you you do face that type of like oh it feels like a it feels like a kind of a double jeopardy situation because you're like i mean the other day uh uh um uh i saw uh i went to this ben carlin reading, and Larry Wilmore was there.

And he's the senior black correspondent for The Daily Show these days. He also writes for The Office sometimes. And Larry Wilmore, they introduced him, and his resume is like un-fucking-believable. Like this guy created The Bernie Mac Show, which, I mean, I don't know if this sentiment is going to be universal in our audience, but I really liked the Bernie Mac show. And it was I thought it was like a perfect vehicle for Bernie Mac, who I think is a pretty brilliant comedian. He created the PJs, which I thought was a very funny show with Eddie Murphy. Like, holy shit, like over the past, like over the course of his career, like how many television shows have there been that were mostly black people in the show where it wasn't just some dumb black people doing a dumb thing that's like the that could have been done in like 1971? Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like it wasn't that like Homeboys in Outer Space model. what i mean like it wasn't that like homeboys in outer space model but like the question is the question then becomes and it's like i said it's the same question that that you or i would face but like times three because there's only you know they only give they only give black people one slot you know what i mean on network television right so you know we already got a black people show i know so yeah that stuff is frustrating man especially when you know there's a lot of talented people out there who are not getting uh shot because of you know just closed-minded views on minorities you know yeah i mean maybe the maybe the feeling of you know maybe the feeling of dumbness and when it comes to you know yeah i mean maybe the maybe the feeling of you know maybe the feeling of dumbness and when it comes to you know what kind of entertainment people are trying to make

um maybe it's just i mean maybe it's just this gross underestimation of what people would want to watch i mean maybe it's just a a contempt for the rest of the world is that you think that enters into it at all yeah ignorance is bliss you know you know it's better to be ignorant man like i say it's better to be stupid i just wish you this is what i would like to see and this is something that actually the other day on on the okay player message board that both jasper and i post on from time to time, there was this big argument because there was an article about, there was an article about Tyler Perry's sitcom, which I don't know if you've seen the show. He is horrible. I mean, I don't mean to put too fine a point on it. This is a horrible show. And he apparently, and I just thought it was horrible i also i also visited the um uh another the tyler

perry shows on tbs right yeah i watched um uh 12 items or less 10 items or less 10 items or less which um was kind of we're just supposed to be the edgy improvised yeah it's improv arrested development style that kind of single it was was fucking terrible. It was so bad. It was so unfunny. Okay, so let me say this about Tyler Perry. So what I found, what I, and like, I kind of like admired Tyler Perry because he's really like, I think it's admirable to like totally make your own path as he has. You know, like he's basically the the all of his success is like due to

him you know what i mean like i may may or may not be interested in his cultural production you know what i mean but like at least he's he's doing a thing for himself which is like in hollywood is a tough thing to do but this article was about how he he made a 100 episodes of his show in a year. Wow. He made 100 episodes of his show in a year. They didn't film 100 episodes, did they? They made, filmed 100 episodes. And one of the things they kind of mentioned in passing in this article is that Tyler Perry actually was having actors. He was handing actors a script and then having them shoot the scene.

Wow. They were shooting it without not only without rehearsal, without even a table read. rehearsal, without even a table read. The first take on the lines was the take that they were using for the television show. This show is a success. It's a successful show? It's moderately successful. It isn't extraordinarily successful. It has achieved the level of success that you can achieve if you have the barest level of competency and you can achieve if you have the barest level of competency and uh and you are

a black person that is allowed to have a tv show you know which is like there are lots of black folks out there who are just like i wish there were black people on television they're like if i get something okay i'm just gonna have to settle you know what i mean like and but the question is like what are you supposed to do when you're put into that situation? Because this article upset me because I'm like, you know what? It's one thing to be making stuff that I don't like, which is Tyler Perry's forte. But it's a whole other thing to be making shit that I don't like and obviously not even trying. If you're making 100 in a year, that means that you don't care whether you're making something that's good.

We should be clear. A sitcom normally makes about $20 in a year. $20 is a lot these days. I think $10 or $12 is more the... Exactly. The reason he would make $100 in a year is because $100 is considered to be the minimum number to be able

to sell something into syndication. So the goal was to have kind of a stable that they can run forever and ever and ever that they all made in one year. But if you're making 100 episodes of a TV show in a year, you're basically, in my opinion, just flipping off the audience, being like, fuck you, I don't care. being like, fuck you, I don't care. And it becomes just like Tyler Perry saying,

I look at this marketplace, I see that there is this hole in the marketplace for a sitcom that has these qualities. It's a family sitcom, it stars black people, faith is a part of it, but not a huge part of it. He has this kind of formula that he recognizes that there's this audience for. And instead of trying to fulfill it with artfulness, he's just tried to fill it with, well, I know. Syndicationness. Exactly.

And like, I don't know. I don't know. You know, there was an interview with the guy who runs Lionsgate Films on the business last year sometime, and he's kind of a similar character. I guess he's a big super Republican donor, but Lionsgate, in addition to making the Tyler Perry movies and the Larry the Cable Guy movies, also makes Saw and a lot of similar gory, nudity-filled... Lionsgate has long been known as the place to go for exploitation movies that make money. Right, yeah, yeah. Of whatever kind. He kind of basically said that without saying it in such a horrible way.

He's like, I know that... He's like, well, there are markets that just want a certain thing and I can give it to them really cheaply. And, um, anyways, it's like, it's like a drug bill. Yeah. Right. That's totally what it, that's totally what it feels like. And I don't know. I mean, I just, I, you know, as, you know as as usual like i i feel i feel lucky not to have to make the choice because obviously like if i'm going on television i'm not in a position where it's like you know the the upn's not even on tv anymore so there's only like three tv shows with black people on them so i don't have to feel like like if i have the black people show like i'm the only black people show and thus like some kind of representation of black people on them so i don't have to feel like like if i have the black people show like i'm the only black people show and thus like some kind of representation of black people on television

you know what i mean whereas you know like i luckily i'm as an affluent white person there's plenty of people like me on tv so i can be like whatever kind of weird affluent white person i want to be but then it's like this question well is it is it just good because it's like people are working because people do need to work you know what i mean yeah people always make an argument about you know well at least he got a job man he came not yet but it's like it's not it's not a practical way to go about it you know this is about quality i mean that's the quality man for me like what it's about is just like it it's not even like it comes down to quality but like. For me, what it's about is just like it's not even like it comes down to quality. But for me, it's not even about just whether it's successful.

I mean, take a show like Lucky Louie, for example. Lucky Louie is a show that was created by comedian Louis C.K. who I don't know if you guys would agree, but I think he's about as good a comedian as exists. Oh, man. He's a genius of comedy. A great idea, and really well thought out, and I like the show,

but it wasn't a success. And when I say it wasn't a success, it was not a success with audiences, and I would say it just didn't quite work for artistically. Yeah, I really wanted to like it, too, and I tried to watch a few, and it was, you know, there were some funny bits, but it was a little awkward.

I mean, I watched them all, and I liked them, actually. You know, like overall, they were worth, I felt like I didn't feel like I was wasting my time watching them, but it was clearly not, it just didn't work. But that having been said, so like it wasn't necessarily the quality that you would love for it to be. But like what you could tell from the show was Louis C.K. really had a vision for a show and he was really trying to make a great show. And like making a TV show or a movie or whatever is just like really hard. And it's kind of a crapshoot. And it's just like there's you know, nobody can do it like really consistently.

of a crapshoot and it's just like there's you know nobody can do it like really consistently you know david e kelly can't even make you know consistent boston legally type shows you know what i mean even make cop rock successful exactly and that's the world's most foolproof premise singing dancing policeman so you know i mean but what I feel like is missing is like, I feel like I meet people sometimes and it doesn't even seem like they're trying to make something good. Like they've just, they've just given up on making something good. Like it's easy. Like I can totally understand failing at making something good because it's really hard to make something good.

You know what I mean? And I can, I can also totally understand having different definitions of what is good. You know what i mean and i can i can also totally understand having different definitions of what is good you know what i mean like i can see that some people really love law and order which i don't really love you know what i mean but like that's that's fine you know like law and order is a great law and order you know what i mean but like i just like a i just feel like there's this kind of consistent drumbeat of like, well, fuck it. Yeah, you know, I can kind of speak to this. I mean, this is a real low on the totem pole, low stakes example of this. But I think it is kind of to the larger, yeah.

To the larger – yeah. I mean so I had two movie writing situations where someone agreed to look at a movie I had written. And the first one was absolutely something I was – something I was kind of personally jazzed about. I felt like it was my – it was something I wrote with big time Gene O'Neill. Right. Something I really thought was our, you know. It was really funny. Our voice and.

Distinctive. Sure, sure. Talking dog. Sure, talking dog. There was a talking dog in it. And yeah, I mean, and not, you know, and while, you know, it was definitely more along the lines,

something I would want to work on. Right. In the future. And kind of the, and someone looked at that and said it was too weird. And then we took kind of a second go at it, and the second go was a lot more standard, something that Rob Schneider could pretty easily be in. something that Rob Schneider could pretty easily be in. Real simple, one of those PG-13 comedies that get released. Dumb people acting dumb. Sure.

And that one was taken infinitely more seriously. But I don't think it was because the people looking at it liked it more, which I don't think was the case. I think the people looking at it, you know, actually seem to have more personal enthusiasm for the good one. But the feeling was that America is really, really dumb was kind of the attitude. I don't know. But maybe that is part of the maybe the dumbness of L.A. doesn't come from the actual dumbness of the people. I don't know. Yeah, just maybe from a cynical, you know, a cynical hatred of the rest of the world.

I don't know. Or, hmm, anyway. Well, I mean, I certainly have a cynical hatred of the rest of the world. Well, let's be clear. Don't sell me short, Jordan. We're all iconoclasts in this room. Well, this is a discussion to be... It's true, man.

I mean, it is the people. If you put shit on a plate and people come by and eat it, are you going to make the shit maker or the shit eater? Yeah. eat it or you're gonna make the shit maker or the shit eater yeah that was a powerful metaphor yeah 25 25 years from now in media studies classes people are going to be like it all goes back to jasper red's classic shit on a plate metaphor. That's what we call the red bone theory. You can eat shit on a plate, or you can eat shit off of a plate. Okay, well, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go. Yep.

Jordan and Jesse Go, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I am Jasper T. Redbone. Wrapping things up on this week's program, no new action items, but we have these really good action items going on. The biggest news, I would say, in Jordan Jesse Go world right now is the bracket for the historical battle is up. King Grebo on the Maximum Fun forums. I don't think I'll ever be able to say that out loud without laughing quietly.

King Grebo on the Maximum Fund forums put together the bracket. We're going to start the bracket, we're going to start the voting very soon. We're going to do the first couple of rounds, it's a bracket of 64, so we're going to do the first couple of rounds really aggressively where we're going to have historical eras battling against each other maybe eight at a time, something like that in the early going.

And we won't go to one at a time until we get to maybe the quarterfinal, something like that. But there's a lot of cool, he's broken it up regionally. So we're going to find out which wins in the era of good feelings versus the mayan classical era um it's going to be a lot of excitement we're having a battle to find out what the best historical era was just so you know just to bring you in on this all right um and of course we're still open to your creative uh reinterpretation of jordan jesse go uh ideas and ideas for what to do with the 20 bucks um we're going to try it let's we should bring backord and Kidd and do a candy thing one way or the other. That's probably, yeah.

I mean, everybody said, if you're going to do a candy thing, bring back Clifford and Kidd. We love Clifford and Kidd, and they were great on the show. They were happy to do it, so we'll bring him back. 206-9844-FUN, the number to call

if you have something you'd like to talk to us about or just about whatever. Jasper, you've got some stand-up gigs coming up. You've got March 7th at the West Side Eclectic here in LA. You're doing a set. Have you got anything on the road coming up? On the road, I will be opening up for Daniel Tosh, part of the Tosh Tour 2008. I will be with him in Dallas, Texas and Austin, Texas. The creatively named Tosh Tour 2008. Yeah. Daniel Tosh

another really great funny comedian you don't really don't want to miss the chance to see Jasper so I imagine that's a that's a we're complaining to pretty big audiences there if you're yellow man it's been nice to play those audience that he draws man it was very cool man so I'm very grateful that he brought me along what's your MySpace? MySpace slash Jasper Red? That's right. And Jasper Red, Jasper spelled as you would expect.

Red spelled with two Ds. Two Ds, ladies and gentlemen. Throw some two Ds. On that. Yeah. On that. On that. On that so-and-so.

Sure. 206-9844-FUN. If you want to email us The email address JJGO At MaximumFun.org And we've got this Cool discussion of the game And all kinds of

Cool discussions going on On the forums right now And we'll see you there And we'll see you next week Next week's show Might come at a weird time Because Jordan's going to be Out of town on the weekend

So we'll have to figure out When we can do next week's show But it's coming It'll happen It'll happen We're making shit happen This isn't going to be the last show. This is the end of Jordan, Jesse, go.

I might die. I'm definitely going to die. I think I'm probably going to die any day now. That's the spirit. Sometimes I wonder if I'm already dead. Have you ever thought about that? You ever look up at the stars and think just how small we all are?

Mm-hmm. It's deep. We'll see you next week. about that. You ever look up at the stars and think just how small we all are? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's deep. We'll see you next week. Maybe we're just on some giant's finger. We'll see you next week on Jordan and Jesse Go, huh?

A little something to chew on. Yeah. A little brain candy. We'll see you next week on Jordan and Jesse Go.