Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 543: The Ultimate Taboo with Linda Holmes

Episode Date: August 7, 2018

Culture critic and podcaster Linda Holmes joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the fact that Playboys can make up a large part of a barbershop's magazine repertoire, Peter Krause's offhand comment   about Sports Night during a TCA panel, and how great the Popstar deleted scenes are. Plus, the momentous occasion calls this week are particularly high stakes, involving a thrilling car chase and a very special butt.  In case you've been waiting to binge the whole series, the BUBBLE finale is here!  Finish out the series!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart, aka Professor Longhair. Jordan Morris, fun and flirty new summer do. Oh really? If we're commenting on our hairs. Yeah, you look fun and flirty. I look like a guy that doesn't have a haircut. Do you understand the distinction I'm making?

Well, you don't have hair. That's true. So I'm confused. Okay. But maybe you can help me unpack this. I have some hair. I have some hair. I'm not without hair.

Sure. I'm not entirely without hair. I'm not talking about head hair, though. No, I have hair on my head. Yeah. Look at not without hair. Sure. I'm not entirely without hair. I'm not talking about head hair, though. No, I have hair on my head. Yeah. Look at all these hairs. Oh. I thought that was a weird shadow.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I could see some. Here's the thing about- What's the issue? The issue here is this.

Right. By the way, you do have a fun and flirty- Thank you. It's a little shorter on the sides, a little longer up top. Yeah. I think it's perfect for the season. And you're going to catch a lot of eyes when you're boating at the park. Yeah.

And I'm fast in the water, too. I'm very sleek like a missile. I'm not just talking about gators, Jordan. Oh, well. But do watch out for gators. If you catch their eye, they can be trouble. No, I know. They're different than crocodiles.

That's true. I know that. One of them has two sets of eyelids. Nothing else. The other one doesn't? Is that correct? One lives in Asia. Dinosaur. Terrible lizard. Right. Birds. Terrible lizard.

Symbiotic relationship with birds. Dinosaurs do? Well, I mean, dinosaurs are direct descendants of birds, but I'm talking about the crocos and the gators, how the bird lands in their mouth, cleans their teeth. I got a symbiotic relationship with Spider-Man myself. Because you're a space liquid. Okay, anyway, what I was saying is about the difference between a haircut and not a haircut.

You are afraid that your hair is getting too long. Here's the thing. When you have very short hair, which I do. So I don't have like a – I never have a like a Bic razor shave, a Mr. Clean hairstyle. It doesn't suit me. And I don't like to have a like a football hooligan shaved head. Okay. You know what I mean?

Like where I'm just putting it on number one or number zero and just shaving it all over. Because when you're in the lifestyle. The football hooligan lifestyle? No, the short hair lifestyle. When you're in the short hair lifestyle, you start to notice the differences. I'm an Arsenal man. Oh, okay. Well, anyway, I'll be hitting you with a mug later.

So. Ah, stampede. Yeah. That's something that happens at soccer games. They all run into convenience. Should we not joke about that because dozens of people die? Maybe so. Hard to say.

So anyway, you notice the differences and there is a haircut which is you just get yourself one of those electric razors and you just set it to zero and you just go over it and it's all the same length.

I like to have a haircut. I like to go to the barber. I like to get my hair tapered. I like to have a little bit, if you can't cut a fade, you can't touch my hair, okay? It's got to have, it should be a haircut.

You want a step cut? Yeah, sure. Why not? Yeah. I usually get my eyebrows notched. I had a little period of asking for a step cut in like maybe sixth grade,

seventh grade. Anyway. Yeah. I looked amazing. I would love to have like a Chris Mullen style high top. Just, you know, like gelled up. And also I'd love to shoot threes like that. But anyway, so I will go to the barber and I get the haircut.

Nice barber shop on Figaro Boulevard in Los Angeles. Nice guys. They tell me about their kids going to Yosemite and stuff. How long they had to wait in line to get in. All this kind of thing. Sure. National Park line. Yeah. Classic barber shop conversation. How the Knicks doing? Our guest on this

program, the intro of which is going a little long, and I want to involve her in this conversation because she's got a fun and flirty summer to do herself. Yeah. She is the host of NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour. She is a pop culture writer at NPR, although no longer of the same titled blog formerly. That has come to an end, but she's continuing to be a print writer. And she is a novelist with a book on the way.

That's right. The great Linda Holmes. Hi, Jesse. Hi, Linda. Hi, Jordan. It's so good to be back with you guys. Yes. I like our yearly tradition of you coming on the show when you're in town

for the Television Critics Association thing. That's true. And I was realizing I had a very different lovely experience last year because I did this with Jordan and Danielle. Oh, yeah. But I've not actually sat down with the two of you guys since 2015. So I feel – So much has changed.

So much has changed in all our lives. There's been several Deadpool movies. So do you guys just want to talk about – Superheroes are snarky now. Sure, yeah. No, but I feel like I have to catch up now on this hair conversation because, Jesse, I think I did notice when I saw you that you had had a beard reduction. Oh, really? Yeah.

I said Jesse's had a beard reduction. And it made me think of a conversation I recently had with my friend Stephen Thompson who is on Pop Culture Happy Hour with me, wears his hair like roughly shoulder length but is a man in his 40s and said to me recently He's what they call a pretty dad. Yeah. And recently said to me I am well aware that I am in the transition

from young Peter Frampton to old Peter Frampton. Wow. So he's in a liminal state between Framptons. He's mid-Frampton. Right. He's Framptoning

through a hair situation. A gradual state of He's coming alive. He's mid-Frampton. Right. He's Frampton-ing through a hair situation. A gradual state of – he's coming alive. He's coming alive. As Frampton once did. many men, even those with long hair, are not willing to give it in order to not just look like you forgot the address of your barber. You know, like there's such a fine line between early Brad Pitt and a less flattering thing. Sure. Yeah.

Man who skateboards to work. Yeah. sure yeah man who skateboards to work yeah like i think i think uh our friend jonathan colton he's a guy with who sometimes has longer hair yeah and i always think i think jonathan colton will look handsome with longer hair until the day i was gonna say i think he will have he will have lovely wavy longer hair forever steven malchemus. Yeah. Gorgeous. Jicks, not so much. Sorry, I was J.Mascus. I'm thinking of another post-grunge. Anyway, J.Mascus. I don't know what Stephen Malcomus' hair looks like.

I have no reference besides dinosaur. Just say dinosaur. Yeah, that's it. He had some solo albums. It's not as funny as the word Jicks, though. It sure isn't. So, when I go to the barbershop, it gives me a feeling of accomplishment. Sure. It makes me feel as though I have connected with other residents of my

neighborhood. It makes me feel like a member of a community and it makes me feel like I've done something to take care of myself in the same way that people talk about going to get a mani-pedi or something like that. I have to go pretty regularly because my hair is very short. So it's like an every other week type situation. I go – I park my car. I drop my kid off at school. I park my car at the barbershop. What are you dropping on one of these cuts?

You're looking at – you're looking at like $17 plus tip or something. I'm giving them $20. Yeah. That's great. I'm giving them $20, $21. Men get everything so cheap. Yeah. So – So cheap to be a dude.

But you don't have to get a haircut every two weeks, do you? No, not every two, but like probably every four or five. It's possible. As I understand it, it's possible to spend like $7,000 on a lady's haircut. That's true. Like a going raid would be like $65,000 or something like that, depending on where you live in the country. But then you can always just walk in someplace where it's $7,000. Yeah.

I mean, literally, because my hair is short, I only pay $70,000 at the place that I have my haircut. But, yeah, it's not $17,000. So I have this short hair, but I try and have a haircut, right? I try and get this – it's longer on the top than it is on the sides, and they clean up the front so they don't get weird. When your hair gets thin, the front starts poking all over everywhere like a – you start looking like a hair cactus. And they'll clean that up a little bit. And they give it some shape in the back. It looks like intentional.

That's my goal is intentionality. Sure. But I needed a haircut before I went to my cabin for eight days. So now we're on like week four of my every two-week haircut. And the intentionality drains out of it very quickly. Yeah, sure. To the point where now it just looks like I've never seen a professional, a hair care professional. I don't think that's true.

Do you have a plan? Do you have a plan to hit the old barbershop? The old BS? I don't know. I have three children. I can't remember when I get a haircut. No, listen. I don't have kids.

I haven't been a kid for a while. Certainly never haven't talked to one recently. Some people say you've got the spirit of a grown-up kid. That's true. Sexually. Yeah, sexually. Because in all my lovemaking, I involve Go-Gurt. Get ready for the Go-Gurt, I'll say.

Anyways. Get ready for the go-gurt, I'll say. Anyways. I can only engage in lovemaking if there's a Ferrari Testarossa poster. Oh, sure. Yeah. Right. In a race.

You have to be in a race car bed. Yeah. Yeah. So what was I talking? Oh, yeah. So I think, I mean, if I know kids and I don't. Yeah. They love to wait quietly in a barbershop while their dad is getting a haircut. They can read maybe Playboy.

It's the primary magazine. Kids love Playboy. Barbershops I think are sustaining the entire print softcore pornography industry. Sure. Barbershops have Playboy? They have – oh, yeah. That's like the main thing they have. I did not know that.

I mean, they also have Sports Illustrated, but it's basically just Playboy and Sports Illustrated. There's not, you can't, like you can't get, you know, like I went in there, I said, do you have Elle Decor? And they said, no, it's just Playboy. Sure. They're like, check out her Elle Decor, am I right? We got a couple ESPN magazines.

Ba-ba-boom. Yeah. Ladies' haircutting places tend to have, they'll have your People magazine and your, like, InStyle, stuff like that. And then they'll have an actual just magazine that's just haircuts. Oh, yeah. They'll have a magazine that's just pictures of haircuts. Well, we just have a poster of that. There's a poster on the wall that lists the 12 haircuts available.

Give me the third man, you'll say. That third man. You just point? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. That's the Orson Welles, by the way, when you say give me the third man. It was funny. Someone should have responded to that anyway.

I'll respond with a little zither playing. Thank you. A lot of zither in that movie. Probably the best zither movie. Yeah. You're the host of a pop culture podcast, the Pop Culture Happy Hour from National Public Radio. Would you say that The Third Man is the best zither movie? Sure.

Yeah. Yeah, sure. In my, I think in. When you're talking about zither soundtracks, it's either The Third Man or Sylvester Stallone's Over the Top. Yeah. It's either The Third Man or Sylvester Stallone's Over the Top. Yeah. In where I live and where in the – most of the neighborhoods I've lived in my life, there is usually the poster which was drawn up in 1954 and just features 12 different Beaver Cleavers.

And then there are like one-hour Photoshop. That's also a magazine that they have Beaver Cleaver we got a Playboy we got a Perfect Ten or you can read Beaver Cleaver they'll also have photographs of like Latino

17 year olds with the same haircuts but just so you can imagine it if your imagination does not extend to altering the race of Beaver Cleaver, you can see how it would look with a very slightly different skin tone. Those are the two things that are on the walls. Gotcha. There's no magazines. There might be some Dodgers bobbleheads. Do they bring you tea?

Where I get my haircut, they'll bring you some tea. You get a little tea. There are these kind of barbershops. I would imagine, Jordan, you've probably been to one of these kind of barbershops in your perambulations of late. Sure. Through northeast Los Angeles where they will give you hard liquor. Yeah. I had a little dalliance with that sort of place that really had a moment, you know, five, four years ago.

Yeah. The like man's man, you know, reclaimed wood. This is when y'all were going to shave with the brush and the soap. Yeah, that's when we were going to do that. We were going to keep this up forever. This will never become tiresome. This is the best way to do this uh it's not um but please watch my video about it at putthison.com um yeah so there was that that had a real moment and you know a guy with an armband and a lot of sailor tattoos would give

you the old shave and a haircut you Two bits. Yeah. Two bits. Here's the thing about that. What do you want me to do? You say shave and a haircut. If I sit here and I don't say anything, then I'm going to explode. Right. You've got to say two bits. You're going to drive Roger Rabbit crazy.

What do you want from me? Go ahead. I said two bits. Now you can explain. Thank you. And the audience thanks you. There's many people thanking you for saying two bits now you can explain. No, and the audience thanks you. There's many people thanking you for saying two bits. But yes, as far as the – that was a big problem with these kinds of places is amount of bits.

Yeah. It really – and I have a kind of a formless kind of hair – I don't know what you would call it. Yeah, just kind of a hair i don't know what you would call it um yeah just kind of a hair thing well you probably have to find a barber because not all hairstylists or hair cutters right are comfortable cutting curly hair sure yeah um yeah you have to go to a place where yeah where they where where that is something that they do and you know and i feel I and again, if you're a hair person, maybe you notice the difference. But I feel like I was going in for these man's man, Ron Swanson, have a shot of whiskey and then play a little skeeball before you leave places. Sure, sure, sure.

And I was not noticing a lot of difference between those and a kind of super cut. Right. Exactly. A super type of cut. I thought you were going to a different sitcom character theme barbershop, like a Lenny and Squiggy barbershop. No, he's talking about when you get a really great clip. Got it. Just a great clip.

You're one of the most fantastic Samson. Thank you. Yes, exactly. But, I mean, easy to goof on that experience because it was kind of crazy and of a time. But it felt great, like getting the straight razor shave and getting pampered, having the beer or the craft soda or whatever it was they poured. It was a fun experience. They give you a craft soda? Sometimes you have a craft soda.

Yeah, I think they have a non-alcohol. Do they have craft Playboys? It's exactly think they have a non-alcohol. You got to, you know. Do they have craft Playboys? It's exactly an artisanal hand-carved Playboy. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So I was like, this is fun.

I like this. I don't know that my hair looks better. But, yeah, I think I'm not living as high on the hog as I have been in the past. Things are a little tighter. I'm not drinking LaCroix. I'm drinking Kroger's sparkling water. So, yeah, that is definitely. You're just sucking the grapefruit directly. Yes, exactly.

Exactly, yeah. I pour tap water into my mouth. I shirk it around. And then I cut the grapefruit or pomple mousse. Squeeze it in there. You just grind your teeth against the peel. Yes, exactly. So, yeah.

So definitely the fancy boy haircut is not something that I do these days. I go to the old super cut, drop a 20. They do a great job. I freely admit. So the lady haircut experience that I tend to go for, you go in. They give you, like I said, they'll give you a cup of tea. At the really nice ones, they'll give you a cup of tea. At the really nice ones, they'll give you a glass of wine to make sure that you won't be upset no matter what they

do to your hair. And then you go back and they give you, they wash your hair and it's this very, like, you know, they shampoo your hair and they give you like a little scalp massage. And then usually they put some kind of leave-in thing in your hair and you sit there for a while and then they go and they cut it but it's all very it's very comfort and pampering oriented when i really go in for the full scam when i when i just really buy in for the whole scam is if i go to an actual spa day and i get like i get a massage which you know probably will mostly like the next day it's very likely i'll have bruises and honestly if i don't have any bruises i'm like well what was a bad bad spa day like you should stop going to bear spas by the way but then i'll also gonna get puncture wounds exactly but then

i'll get uh i'll get a facial and the facial like the whole idea of facial treatments for women um just don't do it j Jordan. But the whole idea... I wasn't even going to! Two bits! The whole deal is like they'll put something on and a lot of times they tell you what they're doing. They'll say like, well, this is a thing that will remove two layers

of skin cells and it will restore your vitamin blah and they tell you stuff that it's doing. And it's all... I don't believe a word of it. I don't believe any of it at all. I go to a place where they tell you that that it's doing and it's all i don't believe a word of it i don't believe any of it at all i go to a place where they tell you that they're blowing on your face with pure oxygen wow i'm like actually i've access they just go i have access to that for free yeah but they put on stuff that like first they put on something feels kind of warm and then they'll put on something feels kind of cool and then they'll put on a thing that like bubbles and it feels good and then you go and you get your nails done.

And it's a nice thing. It doesn't do anything. I don't kid myself that it does anything. And I personally think if you're going to go in and get all kinds of weird spa treatments, get whatever feels good and don't tell yourself it does anything. And then you'll have a happy, happy spa experience. And I feel the same way about getting my hair cut. Like if anything changed the makeup of your hair, you wouldn't have to keep having it done all the time. So clearly nothing changes the makeup of your hair.

But you just go. You have a lovely day, you know. And then you get a haircut with intentionality. The thing that is missing, pampering-wise from my haircut experience, and it's something that they did sometimes offer at those Sleeve Garter barbershops. Yeah. You know, I've waxed rhapsodic on Jordan Jesse Go in the past about my old barber, Jerry. Jerry and I had a very intimate relationship. He called me babe.

He was an elderly Angeleno and had a barber shop that he had started working at when he was 13 in like 1954. Sure. And Jerry retired some years ago, about five years ago maybe. And it was very, very sad for me to see Jerry go. But the special thing that Jerry had that they would sometimes have at these fancy barbershops, these fancy newfangled old-timey barbershops, is steel massagers that strap onto your hands and turn your hands into massaging robots. Wow. Like it's like – they had them on Mad Men one time. I said, oh, yeah, there's those things that Jerry has.

But they look like a – I mean they clearly had been designed in 1948 and not updated since. Right. Made their debut at the World's Fair. Yeah. They basically – they had one of those like big fabric-covered electrical cords with a round plug at the end. Like an old vacuum. Like a dangerous – yeah, I was going to say a dangerous toaster. But yeah.

Yeah. Like – or an old vacuum. And the strap that goes around the hand. Or an old vacuum. And the strap that goes around the hand, so they go on the back of your hand and they're about the size of, I don't know, four packs of cards stacked on top of each other. And then they just go. And he basically just has to put his hands on your shoulders and you're like, ooh, relaxing. And I don't get that from my new barbershop. Sure.

And I would love to get that. Did you just lean on the dryer? I was going to say, if you took a couple of electric toothbrushes. Oh, yeah. Do you think they'd do it for you? Make like little Wolverine claws out of 10 electric toothbrushes. Tape them, do I? Can I tell you something? Sorry, I know Wolverine has only six claws.

I apologize. Two bits. There's someone in my family who actually might be able to provide that. Yesterday when we were coming home from my cabin, it's like a four-hour drive. So usually the kids will watch videos on their Amazon brand Kindles viewing devices. But there was only one. brand Kindle viewing devices. But there was only one.

My six-year-old and my four-year-old, my about to be seven-year-old and my four-year-old had to share one. And Grace, my older child, she said, Teresa explained to her that she would have to share her Kindle with her little brother. And she said, oh, that's okay, Mommy. I'll even let him choose what he wants to watch. And Teresa said, oh, that's so sweet of you, Gracie. You're such a wonderful older sibling. And Grace said, Is that because I'm helpful to my siblings or because I build enormous robotic machinery?

What? Love it. Love it. Enormous, yeah? Love it. Enormous, yeah. Love it. Yeah, so if she could adjust herself to about the size of four packs of cards stacked on top of each other, possible solution to that situation. But yeah, like I think in the men's, do you get talc applied? Or is your hair too long to have talc applied?

No, I don't have talc applied. I think that might be an extra. They'll never let you become an English judge. Yeah, I know. That's my dream, to be a barrister. Is that a lawyer? Anyway. The talc.

A bobby. There you go. The application of the talc is, that's the coup de grace of the entire, that's how they finish you off. They put, you know, because they're getting down to a, you know, they're getting down to a straight blade. Yeah. You know, down to clean it up the neck, you know, because they're getting down to a straight blade. Yeah. You know, clean it up the neck, you know, so on and so forth.

Slap a little stuff on there. You're like, ooh, that's a little stingy. It feels good. I'm invigorated. And then they take their big brush and they brush it in the talc. And then they go. Oh, wow. On your head.

Like they were feather dusting your head. I clearly don't. I don't know anything about barbershop experiences. And then after that, they have you put your feet in a bucket that's full of tiny fish. And they eat all the dead skin off of your. Yeah. I do know somebody who did that. Really?

Did the fish thing? Feet fish? What did this person report? That it was weird. Yeah. Yeah. Those fish nasty. Fish nasty.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la So you want to understand what's going on in the world. But trying to keep up with the news can be such a headache. With clickbait headlines, TV news acting like there's always two equal sides to every story. And never enough talk about the various McDonald Playland characters. Okay, in my defense, though, when I brought that up, we learned a lot. That's true. I'm Brent Black. I'm Courtney Unlow. And I'm Travis McElroy.

With Trends Like These. Real-life friends talking internet trends. We debunk misleading headlines from the top trending news. We always throw in at least one positive story. But we call out bullshit when we see it. Join us each week on MaximumFun.org. Because with Trends Like These. Who needs any memes?

Ah? Ah? Ah? Yeah, that Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Linda Holmes, terrible lizard. Yeah, she's ready. She's in there.

Almost too early. In the original Latin, terrible lizard. Linda, you're in Los Angeles, as usual, for the Television Critics Association. Press tour, yeah. Press tour, the TCA, which is a six-month bacchanal. You may know it as a hashtag you've muted. Yes, sure. TV critic Twitter does really, really go off.

And this is something where the television industry gets all of the critics in television, internet critics, newspaper critics, television critics, and gets them all in one room so they can report on the latest Sports Night developments. Is that correct? Even reading my Twitter. Where is it streaming now? Is it coming back? Still no. Okay. I will say the longer it goes on – and they bring us press conferences about all different shows that are coming and sometimes returning shows. our minds and the more we do wander into random observations such as, yeah, Sports Night brought up by Peter Krause though.

So that was his own – that was his own – Wait. Was there a Sports Night development? Well, so Peter Krause was on the panel for 9-1-1. This show is supposed to be – this is like a procedural that's completely insane, right? Yes. With Peter Krause. Yes.

It's a Fox show, totally nutsy. But with Peter Krause. Yes. The Fox show, totally nutsy. And he was asked about like, you know, when you know the shows are going to be successful or not. And he said, well, you know, it's a big, it's sort of a big crapshoot. You never really know. I thought Sports Night would last a really long time and it didn't. And he mentioned like it would, it was kind of a casualty of the who wants to be a millionaire five nights a week experiment.

Fucking Regis. Those of us who really loved Sports Night were immediately like, oh, my God, now I'm angrier than ever. And so there are certain shows, Sports Night is one. There are others where among TV critics or TV fans in general, you will always find that subgroup of people who are happy to leap into action at the slightest provocation and be upset.

Yeah, I mean, I guess now that there has been a Gilmore Girls continuation, new part thing. What? Does it have a special name? I was going to say reboot, but that's when you start from the beginning. It was like a sequel. Yeah. Now that there's been a new Gilmore Girls thing, what's left for television

critics to talk about besides Sports Night? Well, it's true. And there are things that, for a while, that people will keep their teeth in. You also have the issue of people tweeting at you once they know that you're at a press tour. There was somebody

who, a couple days before the Fox Sessions said – tweeted me and said, do you know when the Fox Sessions start on the day they're happening? And the account was Prison Break. And I was like, all right. And it was a Prison Break fan account. And I didn't answer, I must admit, because I didn't know when things were. A Prison Break fan account. because I didn't know when things were.

A Prison Break fan account. And then on the Prison Break day, on the Fox day, there were, you know, I was receiving a couple tweets. Can you ask about Prison Break? Can you ask, do you think they're going to talk about Prison Break? Probably not. I understand. And I understand.

And, you know, those are tuned in people who know that the Fox executives are currently right up there in front of critics and somebody could theoretically. Can you mention Carolyn in the City? You would be surprised, though. Hi, it's me, a typical entertainment consumer. I can't get enough Herman's Head. The problem is now that they have done things like bring Roseanne back and stuff like that, every time they do something like that, it just encourages everybody. So you can no longer say to people that they're not going to do that. That sounds stupid because they brought back full house.

So you can no longer convince people that anything is impossible. people that anything is impossible. Although I will say the most convincing response to that that I have seen on Twitter is people saying, OK, reboot any black show. Because that would be welcome and has not really happened in the same way. But yeah, it's very hard to convince any fan. Were they talking about a Martin one for a little bit? Yes, I think they were. I've not heard anything about it in a while.

I do think there was an idea. It may have had to do with the fact that Martin Lawrence was reportedly an abusive monster. Oh, no. No idea. I did not know that about Martin Lawrence. No idea. I've not heard anything. Good riddance.

But anyway, so it's hard to convince people that anything is impossible. So you do get a lot of most middle of the road thing. I mean I'm – what's more in the middle than – I mean the single guy. The single guy. Jonathan Silverman's the single guy. Yeah. And just trying to drum up false support for that and seeing if you could get crackle to bite or something like that. It's weird.

Like, you think that you've actually seen all the things that they would do. And then they're like, we're bringing back Murphy Brown. Oh, sure. Yeah. OK. I loved Murphy Brown. I don't know if I love it now. Murphy Brown was a real like Jordan and Jordan's mom tradition.

I really loved Murphy Brown. Maybe like my sister's in bed, but Jordan and Jordan's mom tradition. I really loved Murphy Brown. Maybe like my sister's in bed, but Jordan and Jordan's mom are going to stay up for Murphy Brown. Who's the secretary this week? I don't know. Asks Jordan's mom to Jordan.

I know. Hopefully it's a famous stunt casting. Jordan says to his mom, I don't know, mom, but I love you. I love you. I'm just proud to be spending time with you

and watching something that I understand is for grownups. And it makes me feel good. Even if I don't understand Boutros Boutros Ghali jokes. I guess that was also something I didn't understand about Letterman, but I still liked Letterman a lot. So I'm like, I know this is a grownup thing. It would be interesting to know who over time enjoyed more saying Boutros Boutros Ghali, whether it was Murphy Brown or David Letterman. I think it was Letterman probably.

Yeah, they were neck and neck. And that Dan Quayle shouldn't have fired off his mouth about her. No. whether it was Murphy Brown or David Letterman. I think it was Letterman probably. Yeah, they were neck and neck. Yeah, I think – And that Dan Quayle shouldn't have fired off his mouth about her. No. Thought me and my mom. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You guys were on the cutting edge.

We were sure. Yeah. You guys were right there. Dan Quayle shouldn't be talking about Murphy Brown like he knows her. He doesn't. He doesn't. Can't even spell potato this guy. Remember that?

And in conclusion, Galooly. Galooly, finally. Jeff Galooly. Oh, boy. But what's crazy about this thing to me is not that you're going to all of these press conferences. That all seems normal. There's a bunch of critics and reporters. Yeah.

It's your job to go to press conferences and whatever. It's a professional thing, whatever. What's crazy to me is that it goes on for like two weeks. Yeah. And you just set up camp in a hotel and receive announcements. Well, so it actually goes on for roughly two, but usually between two and a half and three weeks. Are you sure you were going to scold me because it's actually eight days? No, no, no. It goes on between two and a half and three weeks. And I only came, I came a

few days into it this year. I came a little bit later so that I would only be gone for like a little bit under two weeks because I don't know if you've heard this, but I have a dog now. And so I didn't want to go away for quite as long as I sometimes have. But yeah, I've sometimes been away for essentially three weeks. Your dog is at dog camp now. Yeah, my dog's at dog camp. He's out there. He's out there playing.

I wrote them an email and asked them how he was doing. And they assured me that he was doing well and is making lots of friends. And told me in all caps that he's having the time of his life. You really enjoyed archery. Yep. He's making me some – he's making me an ashtray, which is weird in a few ways. But, yeah, he's doing great. So that shortened the trip a little bit.

I put my dog in a canoe recently. How was that? It was more of a rowboat or dinghy. But I put him in there up on the lake by my cabin. And when I say him, I mean her. And she did not like it at all. Oh, yeah? We took a little romantic paddle around the lake.

Right. We took a little romantic paddle around the lake. The whole time she was standing alert like, what the fuck is this floor? This is not a regular floor. Just hated it. I'm about to be in a giant bath. Considering how my dog responds to rain or any other change in conditions of any kind, I'm not sure he would go in for that. He does not like...

Anytime conditions change, he's not sure how he feels about it. My dog, my older dog Coco, spent the first year-ish, maybe even more, that she lived with us terrified of wind. And I'm not talking about wind shaking the windows or something like that. I'm just talking about if you were just walking her down the street and there was a gentle gust of wind.

Yeah. He doesn't like wind. He doesn't like wind either. He gets – I usually walk him around a particular block in the morning and in the evening, just a short walk. And he – We won't say what block it is. We won't say what block it is. but... We won't say what block it is, but... And it's based in Washington, D.C.

And we'll just say it's a block of Pennsylvania Avenue. So he... There are two... Like, when you go in, you know, two of the sides of the block are in, like, the wind tunnel part. So on those two sides, he just does not like it at all if it's windy. He's freaking out the whole time, especially if the wind's in his face. He's not into that at all.

He's just sort of making faces. Jordan, what's Bug afraid of? Well, Bug, my cat, met some kids for the first time. Oh, wow. Bug met Nick Adams' kids. Oh, Nick Adams has beautiful, some of the most beautiful children on earth. Amazing children. Yeah.

Well-mannered. Yeah. They adjust. So here's what's going on. And Nick Adams and I live really close to each other. We live like less than a mile away from each other. And something that is going on. In Los Angeles, that's neighbors.

Yeah. Yeah. We're basically roommates. Yeah. We're basically roommates. So in our neighborhood, it's hot in L.A. You listen to podcasts, right? You've heard that.

I've got to go to the Grove and cool down. Got to cool down at the Grove. There's no place cooler than a Cheesecake Factory. Yeah. Because the cheesecakes have to be cool. It's like in Andre 3000's song, What's Cooler Than Cool? The Cheesecake Factory. Right.

Exactly. Got to keep the cakes from running. Yeah. People probably don't know that that's not in the radio edit of the song, but that's on the album version. On the album version. So, yeah. So, you know, it's hot in L.A. People are running their airs and our neighborhood is a lot of like older houses. So just the power goes out four times a week.

It just does. And for a weird amount of time. So I think Nick and his family are on vacation. Don't rob their house. They so Nick's like, I need to bring you over my keys. So while we're gone, if the power goes out for a long time, you need to go clean out our fridge. And I was happy to do it. You know, I like it's nice to be asked.

My cabin neighbors, Jerry and Debbie, took care of that for me last summer. Oh, yeah? God bless them. Well, and also, quite frankly, even if the power doesn't go out, you can just go over and take all their food and then tell them the power went out. I'm like, oh, the power went out. They're not going to know. But so, yeah. You're like, I cleaned out all the ice cream.

Cleaned out the steaks and ice cream. Power went out. Too bad. Power went out, but it didn't affect the broccoli. Sure, yeah. You're like, I cleaned you out of- I ate all the ice cream. Cleaned you out of steaks and ice cream. Power went out. Too bad. Power went out, but it didn't affect the broccoli. Sure, yeah. The power went out and someone- The joke I was about to make was someone ordered a lot of pay-per-view porn on YouTube. Does that still exist?

It probably does not. Of all the industries. I really am into artisanal pornography myself. Yeah, sure. Hand carved. Anyway. Who wants to look at pornography in public under any circumstances? That's my question for America's Barbershops.

Right. Although, yeah. That's a good game show idea. Who wants to look at pornography in a public place? That's a good game show idea. Who wants to look at pornography in a public place? Five nights a week on ABC. Killing sports night. Go ahead.

Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so Nick's bringing the keys over. Yeah. He's got the kids with him. And the kids, they cannot have pets at their apartment, but the kids love cats. There's a lot of nice outdoor kitties in our area. I think the kids have had a very good experience with the outdoor kitties. So they were very excited.

They've seen pictures of my cat, and they were excited to meet her. In the calendar that you gave them for Christmas? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I gave them to everyone, including everyone at my bank. Got it. So they were excited to meet the cat IRL. And I was kind of hopeful because Bug is a very nice cat.

And I think she even kind of wins over people who do not like cats because she's really nice. And I was really hoping she would come out to shine and, yeah, and really turn on some of that patented bug magic. She did not. The kids were very loud and grabbed her fur and she ran away and hissed. It was, yeah. So, yeah, I think they were just very excited. And, you know, I think they're very good kids. They were not being mean to her.

They were not manhandling her in any way. But I think it was just pure, listen, Bug and I lead a very quiet life. We lead a very quiet life. Sometimes I'll turn on Mastodon when I'm doing the dishes. That's about as exciting as it gets around the house. So, yeah, I think just that. You're not listening to Sun. No, sure.

No. I like melodies. Yeah, it's melodic. I love melodies. No drones necessary. No, no drones. So, yeah, I think Bug was just not used to that volume, that kind of just child, that child velocity, and ran away and hissed

and I was, I felt bad. I think Bug knew how lovely looking Nick's children are, how they look like catalog models. No, I don't,

I don't, I think she was just, I think she's pure. She could have just been intimidated by them is what I'm saying. Sure, yeah. Could be.

Not that Nick's not handsome or that you're not a good looking guy. Sure, well, you know. Sure, yeah. Could be. Not that Nick's not handsome or that you're not a good-looking guy. Sure. Well, you know. Sure, yeah. She's just not used to attractive humans. What's this? Yeah, my dog, Brian, is afraid of one other dog and the entire world hates and is terrified of.

Where does he encounter this one dog? At my apartment building. Oh, no. He has a dog enemy. He lives in the building. Dog enemy lives in the building. And the dog's owner has been so incredibly nice. I went up to her and I was like, I, you know, obviously at a time when the dog was not with me, I went up to her and I was like, I am so sorry. I don't know why he's doing this. And she was like, they're dogs. They do dog things. My dog has dogs that she doesn't like.

So it's, you know, we just turn around and go the other way when we see any of the dogs she doesn't get along with. She could not have been nicer. But every time he sees them, my dog just goes into a complete panic like – just absolutely the height of his terrifyingness, which is – and I have no idea why. Not a clue. This is the one – What kind of dog is it? It's just like a very nice black dog with wiry – kind of a wiry coat. Interesting.

Just a – and he plays with all kinds of different dogs, big dogs, small dogs, you know, of all different breeds. He's having a good time at dog camp? He's having a great time at dog camp. They told me at daycare that he plays that he gets along with all the other dogs. He is a weirdo about this one dog, and I feel very bad. Just once I'd like to drop my dog off at dog daycare. My dogs don't go that often. But I like to drop them off and come back later and pick them up, and they say, bad news.

They made a lot of enemies. Yeah, they give me – at the daycare he goes to, Bad news. They made a lot of enemies. Yeah, they give me, at the daycare he goes to, they give me a little report card each day. That's cute. Hopefully with a photo of him. F, F, F, F. Hopefully with a photo of him. And then they'll just say, like, they'll tell me, like, here are the dogs he played with today.

Here were his friends today. But then they'll give, like, a little description of his behavior, which I'm pretty sure everybody gets the same one on that day because it will be like it was raining outside. But Brian was in a great mood. He had all his friends and his fur buddies and all this other stuff. And I always feel like probably they're all getting the same one. But then they give you a couple of new adjectives per day to describe. And those change from day to day. My dogs, between the two of them, have had one friend ever. And particularly my older dog Coco, who's now, I guess she's 11 or 12.

She, when we lived in Koreatown, there was this couple who had a dog that was like a fancy breeding dog. Okay. You know what I'm talking about? Like with papers and like a little haircut and the whole nine yards. It was like one of these kind of floofy tail hunting dogs or something.

Like a spaniel dog or something. I don't know. But this dog, and Coco, my dog, I only had one at the time, they would see each other. You know how dogs do that thing? I don't know if you've seen this, Jordan, walking past a dog park or something. But when dogs want to play with each other, they signal it by putting their paws out front and then dropping their head and getting into a pounce position. It's a play bow, they call it.

A play bow. And they would do that with each other in the hallways of our apartment building constantly. And because our dog didn't like any other dogs as far as we could tell, we would kind of get them together. And it became very uncomfortable because this couple that was the owners of this dog, they would come over with the dog or they would just like, we eventually got to the point where they'd drop off the dog like it was a play date. But like they would come over and they would tell us some things. And they had recently moved to Los Angeles from the Midwest, kind of a late 20s white couple. And just a couple of times, they would just say something about Korean people. We lived in Koreatown.

Oh, goodness. And it wouldn't be specifically or aggressively racist. It would just be too general about an ethnic group. Yeah. I thought you were going to say that eventually you got the impression that they had all changed their names, including the dog's names. And we're on the run from something. No, it was really— Dog didn't answer to the name that they called it.

I was honestly like, wow, I was sad when they moved away, you know, a year later. I was grateful that I had been relieved of the pressure of trying to decide what to do because I don't think the dog is racist. No, I got you. I don't think I have to. And there wasn't – it was a very, very unpleasant situation for me except that I assumed my dog would make many dog friends. This was eight or ten years ago now and she has not made one dog friend since. My dog gets along with most of the dogs in my building.

He has a little – the funny thing is my dog is named Brian. That's the name he came with. He has a friend named Kevin. You're allowed to pick a new one. I know. I know. Brian is a great dog. You're a huge Family Guy fan.

Yeah. I am not. I will tell you. You have two goldfish both named Stewie. Yeah. He has a friend named Kevin. He has a friend named Carl. And he has a friend named Charlie.

And when they're all – They go down to the bar every night. Or I used to say, like, when it was Brian and Kevin and Carl, I used to say it's like it's a, like, 1996 Little League team. But they all get along pretty well big dogs small dogs he's got a friend named max who's a like a fluffy cockapoo and uh and they play nicely together they have a nicely matched energy you have to watch like there are some dogs who really want to play with brian but brian's mostly whip it and so he has a ton of energy he's extremely fast and many dogs look at him and they're just like, I can't hang. There's nothing I can do with this. I can't do anything with this.

It's like if Chris Mullen came up to you, Jordan, and he asked you if you wanted to shoot trays with him. I don't want to do that. Too fast. Too fast. Too much. Too sleek. Can't hang. Yeah. But he's a nice dog. He's a nice dog. How are you dealing with the emotional impact of not being with your dog, lo these past – how long have you been here? 10, 12 days? Only about a week. A little over a week. I think it's – I think it's fair to say you're bonded to your dog.

I am bonded to my dog. It's easier because I'm not at my apartment, so I'm not looking at, like, the place where he lies on the couch and all that stuff and thinking, like, there's no dog where a dog should be. But, yeah, I mean, I miss the dog. It's funny how quickly you change your routine and you're just used to different things. There are things that I like about not having a dog that I'm responsible for, I will say. When I got the dog, I knew it would be a lot of responsibility, but I sort of miscalculated which would be the things that I would have to get used to. Like you're kind of done with the part where you're like, it's seven o'clock at night. I'm just

going to get in my jammies and get in bed and I'm not going outside anymore. Because you're going to have to take the dog out one more time. So you can't really like settle in super early the way I used to on like settling in early nights. Same thing with sleeping in. But it's been great and I'll be happy to see him and I'm also trying to enjoy my being able to do whatever I want days. Did you anticipate the amount of cooking that you would have to do for your dog? Like let's say he demands a fricassee. I do not cook for the dog. I give him a little bit of cheese and hot dog and other things that he likes.

That's the dog high life. Yeah, yeah. The other day I actually gave him some hot dog and I think I gave him such a sizable piece of hot dog. It was probably during the pre-camp guilt phase. I think I gave him such a sizable piece of hot dog that he wasn't sure what to do with it. He wasn't sure it was really his to eat. Wow. That is a conscientious dog.

My dog eats wood, she finds. Oh, he eats all kinds of things he's not supposed to have. He's more of a chewer than an eater of things he shouldn't have. But he will essentially turn up his nose at a toy that is his and go get something that is not his that is basically exactly the same texture. He just wants it because he's not supposed to have it. He knows he is not allowed to eat my shoes. He loves shoes. Shoes are the only thing that he needs to be happy. If I gave him all my shoes, he would never need anything else from me except maybe a little bit of food and water. By far the best thing that happened when I took a week's vacation at the cabin. By

the way, thank you, Jordan, for covering in my absence. We had a great time. That's what I hear. I hear there was some discussion of malt liquor beverages. I observed, now granted, there are a lot of nice things happen. I was there, of course, there with my human children. My in-laws came to visit. They're wonderful people. A lot of highlights, but probably the top highlight was when I took my dog Coco out to go to the bathroom. She made a beeline for the edge of the road, picked up a long, thin stick and had it sticking into her mouth along the side of her teeth, but sticking out a little bit at the end. So she looked like she was like Clint Eastwood smoking a cigarillo. Yeah.

It was really good. Yeah. Brian picked up a very large stick at one point and I, and started just carrying it down the street of my neighborhood. And it had a real, like, I took a video of him and realized that it really needed staying alive. Because they have the really skinny dogs. You can really see, like, the ribs and the hips kind of going back and forth. And as somebody told me, he looked like an articulated bus.

But, yeah, but I needed to be playing the music. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Moore's boy detective. Linda Holmes, terrible lizard. We have some sponsors on this week's program. Jordan, don't let anybody tell you that nobody cares

to support this program. Yeah. First of all, there's the thousands of MaxFun members who go to MaximumFun.org slash donate. Yeah. Those guys are great. And there's also, well, this week, our friends at Stitch Fix. Yeah. When a problem comes along, you must stitch it.

Stitch it. Yeah. Oh, great. I'm riding one of those scooters right now. Those red scooters. I don't know what you're talking about, but. Yeah, like the Devo rides those little red scooters. Huh.

You know what I'm talking about? I forget the scooters. Yeah, it's one of the best farts. Okay. I mean. I believe you. The hats are good too. The hats are good.

The music is enjoyable. The music. Yeah. I believe you that they're scooters. Yeah. And I think that was a great addition to our popular Stitch Fix jingle that people can't stop talking about. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Yep, vroom, vroom.

Jordan, you got the Stitch Fix. I love the Stitch Fix. Here's what it is. It is a style box that comes to your house. A personal stylist collects items that they think you will like based on a profile that you create. Like if you were a squirrel, they might collect acorns for you. Well, you don't eat the clothes.

Okay. Maybe in the winter. I don't know. Got it. But so that's not a perfect analogy. If you were a parrot, they might collect plumage for you. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Sure. Like colorful plumage. A perfect analogy. A perfect analogy. If you were a parrot, they might collect plumage for you. Yeah, sure. Like colorful plumage. A perfect analogy.

Here's what you do. You make a profile. They send you five brand new clothing items. You try them on and you only pay for what you keep. Shipping is free both ways. Super easy. Super fun. Get your fix whenever you want or you sign up to receive

scheduled shipments. Is there anything you've gotten from them that you've enjoyed lately? Gray pants! Oh yeah. They're great! Surprisingly versatile. Oh my gosh! Yeah. Like jeans but a little different. Yeah and you can build any kind of outfit around a gray pant. Love a gray pant. I've got some very nice gray pants from

Stitch Fix. Yeah, whether you're a person looking for cool style, a parrot, or a squirrel, hurry to stitchfix.com slash JJGo to get started now. Keep all five items you receive, and you'll get 25% off your entire purchase. That's stitchfix.com slash JJGo. Now, we are also supported this week by our friends at ZipRecruiter. Yes, Zip Recruiter. Yes, Zip Recruiter. Hiring is challenging, but there's one place you can go where hiring is simple, fast, and smart.

That place, Zip Recruiter. I'm a business owner, Jordan. Yeah, I know. I own this very business. The one that we're doing business in right now. It's no coincidence that we're in a business right now because I'm the owner of this business. Sure. That's why I still get to be on the air.

Here's what ZipRecruiter does. It sends your job to over 100 of the web's leading job boards. I don't know how to recruit people for my business. I don't know how to get it on all the things. I'm like, I don't know. What do I do? Would I put it on a website? What do I do?

Type it into the newspaper? So with ZipRecruiter, you do it once. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. They spray it all over everywhere. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Your listings. It's everywhere.

Sure. But instead of stink, it's jobs. Yeah. Job opportunities. Job opportunities, rather. Right now, our listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at this exclusive web address, ZipRecruiter.com slash jjgo. That's ziprecruiter.com slash jjgo.

ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. We also have something up on the Jumbotron this week. That's our service for listeners to share their projects and personal messages. Bohemian Rhapsody in August is a fictional, non-fictional, deep-dive music analysis podcast in its eighth daily episode at the time of this reading. Each day in August, hosts Matt and Tucker break down the song Bohemian Rhapsody two lines at a time

using research that is as exhaustive as it is fabricated. Absurd surrealism and surreal absurdity mixed with an idea that seemed good at the time based on a bad portmanteau. Bohemian Rhapsody in August. Find it in iTunes, Spotify, and other things probably also. You can find it at

brogist.net That's Bohemian Rhapsody August. brogist.net. If you want to get up on the Jumbotron, you can. You can do it at MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. And you can drop us an email. You can find the email link if you'd like to advertise on Jordan, Jesse Go.

Jordan, I will also be making a public appearance this coming week. Let's hear about that. Well, Jordan, as you know, I'm the proprietor of the Put This On Shop. Yep. In fact, Linda, I believe you have shopped at the Put This, Jordan, as you know, I'm the proprietor of the Put This On Shop. Yep. In fact, Linda, I believe you have shopped at the Put This On Shop, have you not?

I have indeed. It is a collection of bullshit that I sell. It's very nice. Thank you, Linda. It's very nice. If you like your vintage and you like your kind of like

slightly quirky, which I do. Distinctive, we might say. Yeah, exactly. Then i would say put this on you know what i mean yeah so we are that you could anybody can shop for it put this on shop.com but we're going to be selling in los angeles on saturday so if anybody lives in la you can stop by my friend mike owns a great clothing brand called runabout Goods that's based in Eagle Rock, northeast L.A. And he's having a big sale on Saturday from starting at 9 o'clock in the morning.

And you can find it there in Eagle Rock. It's going to be us. My colleague Dan from Put This On will be there all day. And I'll be by as well. There's going to be vintage stuff, dollar records, new clothes. I think Mike's going to do like a sample sale on his stuff, which is normally pricey stuff. It's very, very nice quality stuff. I've gone and bought it from him at full price.

Will there be any award pins? There will. Well, I mean, there may very well be award pins. There may very well be award cups. Oh, nice. We have the supply of award cups that actually I think I might have bought from Mike originally, but like all these like cuter award cups from maybe the 50s, like you would win in a hot rod race.

Like we had so many of them. They're substantially gone, but I think we've got a few left. So yeah, stop by Runabout Goods in Eagle Rock on Saturday. That's Saturday, August 11th. And we'll be there and you can come and stop by and say hi, and, you know, we'll hook you up. Say you heard about it on Jordan, Jesse Go, we'll hook you up. We'll get you all set.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Like comic actor Mark Evan Jackson. He's handsome. He's got a real presence to him. He's great in a deleted scene from Popstar. Oh, man. If you got the Popstar Blu-ray, which I do. Can I borrow the Popstar Blu-ray so I can watch the deleted scene? Buy your own, baby. Yeah, that's a good point. You're going to want to own Popstar to have in your home to not only laugh at the hilarious movie Popstar, but also to enjoy the hilarious deleted scene featuring Mark Evan Jackson.

Popstar is crazy genius. It's so funny. I was the fact that it. Imagine laughing at a movie. But it wasn't the fact that it was more of a box office success. Yeah, that was a shame. It makes me so angry because it's so much better than so many times. I know. Yeah, I think it wasn't. The fact that it was more of a box office success just makes me so angry because it's so much better than so anything. I know.

Yeah, I think it – anyway. Does it have a cult following yet? I feel like I haven't heard a lot of pop star fandom. Mention it on Twitter sometime. Sometimes I think it's just me and Jordan talking to each other. Hey, Twitter, pop star. Do it. Just say, pop star, question mark, and everybody will be like, pop star, pop star.

It absolutely has a cult following. Is that guy who played the second lead in pop star the antagonist, the other guy? Is that guy a famous person now? Who are we talking about? The guy who was the other musician guy and they're rivals. Oh, the guy who was the odd future stand-in? Yeah. No, I think he was on SNL.

Oh. Now, he's funny. He's great in that. Good for him because that guy's fucking amazing in? Yeah. No, I think he was on SNL. Oh! No. He's funny. He's great in that. Good for him because that guy's fucking amazing in that movie. I was like, who's this guy I've never heard of before who's brilliantly hilarious? I forget the actor's name, though. He's great. I've seen him in a couple other things.

He's great. Oh, Popstar is fucking funny. Popstar rules. I'm ready to watch Popstar again. I watched it in the theaters. I'm ready to go again. Get that Blu-ray. Deleted scenes.

Mark it. It's like I have five songs that aren't in it, and they all fucking rule. It's so good The pop star deleted scenes And I don't say this lightly What I'm about to say Is crazy But it's fucking true

Yeah The pop star deleted scenes Are as good As the waiting for Guffman deleted scenes What? They're as good As this bulging river?

Yeah You're telling me And the monologue Where Oh gosh What's her name? She's in all the Parker Posey Parker Posey says Who's on top River? Yeah. You're telling me. And the monologue where, oh gosh, what's her name? She's in all the... Parker Posey. Parker Posey says, who's on top and who's on bottom now?

I'll see you in hell, but I'm gonna look good before I get there. Yeah, I'm one of those cool guys who use Napster to download the promo only waiting for Guffman soundtrack. Yeah. Get that Popstar Blu-ray, people. High def, as the filmmaker intended.

Deleted scenes. Can I tell you something? All hilarious. Can I tell you something about, we're about to take some calls here, but can I tell you something about my relationship with Waiting for Guffman?

You know, you wouldn't think that this would be the thing that I return to again and again in my mind and heart. Like, you'd think that this would be the thing that I return to again and again in my mind and heart. Like you think that I would return constantly to like the part where the flames keep poking you. Poke, poke, poke. Or like one of the other

I think about when the play is starting and the narrator goes beans. Big fat juicy beans. I think about that once a week. It's great. Big, fat, juicy beans.

I could watch that. I could watch that Midnight at the Oasis. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. A number, a distressing number of times. I have to say that when Catherine O'Hara? Like as far as I'm concerned, Catherine O'Hara is a perfect human being. So like if anything went wrong, it would all come crashing down.

And usually I don't feel that way. Usually when I, when even a really like person who I really love and admire or whatever, you know, like we just had Randy Newman on Bullseye. I couldn't admire anybody more than Randy Newman, but I felt like Randy Newman, he's just a guy, you know, I've interviewed enough people know everybody's just a guy.

Cameron O'Hara, I couldn't get there. And then she was like better than I hoped. I was like, can we just be friends? Yeah. The half of the hotel that I often wind up staying in for TCA... Is the

Catherine O'Hara wing? No, but it's the Oasis. One of my friends and I, my buddy Eric Adams who works for the AV Club, he and I sometimes when we are walking out of the evening event and I'm heading over to the Oasis, we do a little. Oh, that sounds fun.

I love that. We have a lot of fun here on Jordan, Jesse. Go and just in our lives. If you think that we only have fun here at Jordan, Jesse, go. You're mistaken. Because sometimes we're thinking about that part where the narrator of the play within the movie says, talks about beans. The narrator of the play within the movie talks about beans. When something momentous happens to you, like you think back fondly to a line from a movie that you loved when you were 16, then give us a call.

206-984-4FUN is the telephone number. That's 206-984-4FUN. Or you can just voice memo it and email it to us at jjgoe at MaximumFun.org. Couldn't be easier. JJ Goe, of course, it's like a contraction of Jordan Jesse Goe. Yeah. So it's easy to remember. Now I get it.

MaximumFun.org is a popular website people love to go to for podcasts. Which you got because MaximumFun.limo was taken. Yeah. Sorry, not limo. I'm sure there's a MaximumFun. There is. I ordered MaximumFun.fish. Yeah. Sure.

There are a whole bunch of them. There are a whole bunch. them. There are a whole bunch. I made a personal website recently. JordanMorris.pizza? JordanMorris.net. Pizza was like a little extra and I'm like, boy, how funny do I think this is? Do I think this is five bucks a month funny? I guess I don't.

What if you're applying for a job on a show with dignity? Sure. I'm being thrifty these days. You're putting in your application. I'm getting a super cut. You're submitting your good place packet. Sure. I'm being thrifty these days. You're putting in your application. I'm getting a super cut. You're submitting your good place packet. Sure. You know that those people

are thinking about things. Right. They don't want your cute bullshit, Jordan. No, jordanmorris.net. Hit it up. A lot of fun content there. They're going to say,

oh my God,.pizza. He's going to be that guy. He's going to be that guy. I know. This guy thinks he's fun. To be fair, Jordan, jordanmorris.limo is pretty solid. jordanmorris.limo is pretty solid.

JordanMorris.limo is good. I don't know if that would be extra. It's like that old thing that Hodgman always repeats about, I get it, you're wacky. That would give you that.pizza. I'm not. I had a wacky point in my life. I'm not wacky anymore. Oh, no, I know you're not.

Thank you. But the.pizza might mislead people down that line of, I get it, you're wacky. I'm not wacky. Jordan, you got dignity. I'm kooky. I'm not wacky. I'm spooky and a little ooky. Sure, yeah. Let's take our first call.

Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Jessica in Northern Virginia. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Jessica in Northern Virginia, and I have a momentous occasion. My husband and I were just hanging out on the couch watching TV, and his brother called and mentioned that... I like where this is going. Watching television with a spouse. This will certainly get horny. with a spouse.

This will certainly get horny. Were they watching the Popstar deleted scenes on the Popstar Blu-ray? I tried to do a lot of work with my little noises. Okay, fair enough. Go ahead and press play. His brother called and mentioned that their grandfather had two buttholes. He didn't

provide much more information and I can't stop cracking jokes yeah i told you it was gonna get good yeah no i mean i think you were probably right i lived right up to that yeah it sure did wow it like fucking surpassed that noise you made like a rocket to the star it's true this woman calls in all classy-like. Yeah. She's like, I'd just like you to know we were watching television on the couch when. We were watching public television.

Press 4 for movie screening times. My husband and I were just watching television on the couch when. And then his brother called. Go on. Ooh, a brother. Saucy. All right. Taboo. The ultimate taboo.

And who? The grandfather? Yeah. I would say the ultimate taboo is probably two brothers, especially if they were plumbers. Oh, boy. Wow. The ultimate taboo would be to

make love with both Mario brothers at once. Wow. Room enough for me? It's me, Wario. Wow. Throw the cap at it. Sure. What about this? While Luigi is here, too.

Hey, it's me. I'm a shell guy. Can I also fuck? No. Okay. Sorry, shell guy. Yeah, too. Hey, it's me. I'm a shell guy. Can I also fuck? No. Okay. Sorry, shell guy. Yeah, well. A little scooting around, you know.

Yeah. You know how they do. Oh, I do. Yeah? Yeah. Wah. It's me, Mario. Two buttholes.

Yeah. Anyway, next call. Wait, was he doing genealogy research? Yeah, does 23andMe tell you that? He's like... Swab your cheek and we'll tell you how many buttholes your grandpa has? I was on Skip Gates' PBS show. Found out something very interesting.

What I want to know is, I want to know a couple things. Yes. I want to know how the brother knew that. Right. The brother who called. There's a lot of questions. How had that come to the attention of the brother? Right.

Well, genealogy is very important in the Mormon church. But also how it came up in the call with the brother. Like the whole my husband and I were watching television and his brother called, you would think that would be... Just to say that? I was just going to say. Is there another reason for the call?

Is there another reason for the call? Are we still doing Disney World this year? Okay, great. Oh, also, our dad had two buttholes. That's grandpa, whoever it was. I don't understand how... Barnabas.

I don't understand how this topic was raised on the call from the brother. Hey, bro. What's up? Just watching TV. What you're watching? Deleted scenes from Popstar. Grandpa had two buttholes.

No, I got it. It is, what are you watching on TV? I'm watching an old episode of Two and a Half Men. Okay, sure. You know, now that you mention that. You mentioned Two and a Half. That reminds me. And man.

That reminds me. Oh, yeah. That show also has two buttholes. Yeah, there you go. I'm reading the children's literary classic, Holes. Sure. Yeah, there you go. I'm reading the children's literary classic, Holes. Mm, sure. Yeah. Could happen.

There's a lot of segues. A lot of easy segues. Ooh, there's a lot of fanfic to be written about this call. Yeah, sure. Especially when Waluigi gets involved. Not in Smash Brothers.

That's a fucking damn shame. Really? Waluigi's not in Smash Brothers? No, no Waluigi for Smash. That seems like a central... People are furious. Is there a fan movement? Is there a hashtag?

Yes, absolutely. Could they make that downloadable content? They could, but they won't. Really? Nintendo doesn't value Waluigi. Is that so? Yes. You know what I'm going to do?

Huh? You know those green lifesavers? Mm-hmm. Television Critics Association meeting. Right. I'm going to leave them in the television critics rooms. I don't want to pay the upcharge, though, so I'll just break in with a credit card. You're just going to sneak around and follow the housekeeping.

I mean, I'll wear a black turtleneck. I'll spring for the black turtleneck. I just don't want to pay the placement fee. Sure, that's fine. I'll leave them there. housekeeping i mean i'll wear a black turtleneck right i'll spring for the black turtleneck i just don't want to pay the placement for sure sure that's fine i'll leave them there get what save waluigi in the new smash brothers for nintendo switch hashtag waluigi four number four four for smash yeah waluigi for smash and then use that hashtag when you're talking about the show on twitter by the way uh yeah i uh just so know, Linda, the only problem with using that is that that actually was the hashtag I used to petition NBC to add Waluigi to the Catholic Smash. I was just – I was trying to get there.

It's like you have Catherine McPhee. Right. Sure. You have your Leslie Odom Jr. I thought he would be a perfect Marilyn Monroe. I think Waluigi, you know, Waluigi's got the glam. Yeah. Got the glam kisser.

Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, Marilyn Monroe had that very pointy, crinkly mustache. Sure, yeah. In real life, so it's perfectly representational. And she was an evil virgin of Luigi. So it's perfectly representational. And also she was an evil version of Luigi. So it's perfect. I mean, he could also play Wajo DiMaggio. Yeah, right.

Okay, let's take another call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse Goh. This is Liz and Siri from New West. We're in Whistler right now, and we just got in a car chase. These chicks that we trusted, we left our phone there and then all of a sudden we went over there and we noticed that they were gone in the car and our phone was all of a sudden not on the dock we thought they were our friends so we went chasing after them down this crazy bumpy road caught up to them chased them on the highway they didn't

know legal right turn we followed them legal right turn got a shadow car so they thought they had lost us and then they parked in the parking lot my friend jumped out of the car to retreat for fun while i went to go park the car and i was like hey i think you guys do you guys know anything about my phone being lost and they were like no no and then and then one of them was like whoops i just found it it's like my fucking brand new phone we opened up the phone they have selfies on the fucking cell phone our phone and they lied to us but we got it back and they only stole a little bit of our weed and it was the best thing. We still have it in the back. We beat them.

Heart of the rock, wet as a river. I was wearing my Jordan Jesse Goh t-shirt yesterday. Love you guys. Bye. Wow. You know, Jordan Jesse Goh became a true crime podcast, so slowly I barely even noticed. Why is it popular all of a sudden? podcast so slowly i barely even noticed why is it popular all of a sudden that was both exciting and hard to follow much like the mission impossible movies wow can you have action yeah it had

everything can you imagine this was henry cavill in that can you imagine this jordan not what five ten minutes ago we received a telephone call from a woman whose beloved husband had just found out that his beloved grandfather had two buttholes where on most men there would be one. Yet somehow the stakes have been raised on call number two. Man. on call number two. Man. Some young Canadian women went on a car chase to retrieve a phone

from some women they thought were their friends. But they weren't. They weren't. No friends of theirs. They went down a bumpy road. They went down a bumpy road. They made an illegal right turn.

Illegal right turn. Which is much more difficult than to make an illegal left turn. It's hard to make an illegal right turn. They're mostly legal. Usually you're good to go. They're usually quite legal. Make that right. But it's Canada. Everything an illegal right turn. They're mostly legal. Usually you're good to go. They're usually quite legal.

Make that right. But it's Canada. Everything's a little backwards up there. Yeah, maybe you're not allowed to make it on a red. Is that possible? Yeah, possible. Then they got themselves a shadow car. I don't know what that is.

I didn't understand. It sounded like they were saying there was a car in between. Yeah. So they didn't know they were being followed. But I have no idea if that's correct. Shadow car operators, please let us know. I would have to ask Jack Reacher. Yeah.

Because the only person who would know. Yes. The only person I know who would know what a shadow car is. Possibly Mark Evan Jackson. Yeah. Either or. He knows a lot of things. He knows a lot of things.

He knows a lot. He once gave you a restaurant recommendation. That's right. He gave me a a restaurant recommendation. That's right. He gave me a great restaurant recommendation. So, you know, you never know about Mark Evan Jackson. Maybe he knows what a shadow car is. I don't know. I know what a Shadow Stevens is.

Sure, yeah. But in the end, they got the phone back, and there's a coup de grace. They took fucking selfies with it. They did. These so-and-sos. Only some of their weed. Yeah. Was the weed in the phone somehow?

Was it part of a little case or something? Are you still smoking analog weed? Yeah, I guess so. Like a fucking chump. No, I got the... No, sorry. Go ahead. All my weed is blockchain now.

Go ahead, Linda. I got the impression that they broke into the car or they were in the car, had access to the car. Oh, right, right, right. Sure, sure. And they stole the phone and a bit of the weed. I got the impression that they broke into the car or they were in the car, had access to the car. And they stole the phone and a bit of the weed. Stole the phone but only some of the weed. That was my reading.

That was my reading. Fuck. And it was a tag team call that they handled very well. They were both audible. Yeah. Great, great, great give and take call and response. That's what you want. They told us they loved us.

Yeah. And it's just like that just means a lot to me just because I had a kind of distant sort of a troubled relationship with my parents. Sure. Yeah. So it's nice when anonymous Canadians tell you they love you. I know intellectually that they love me. But there's just certain things that stand in between. You need to hear it.

You need to hear it. That kind of feeling of comfort. And your parents almost never tell you they were wearing your shirt. Yeah, that's true. And my parents stole all of my weed. So there you go. Which, come on. Fucking narcs.

Fucking narcs. God, my parents are such total narcs, dude. Narcs. Such fucking narcs. I hate narcs. Oh, I hate narcs. Do you hate narcs? Sure.

By the way, Linda and I just got into Breitbart. No! I hate narcs. Well, anyway, I'm not on this show anymore. Yeah. I have to do another podcast. Yeah, so voice memo it.

Email it to jjgoldmaximumfun.org or just give us a call. 206-984-4FUN. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Hi, I'm Allie Gertz. And I'm Julia Prescott. And we're Everything's Coming Up Simpsons. We're a Simpsons podcast on the Maximum Fun Network.

And we've got some exciting news. Ooh, tell me. We are going to be doing some live podcast shows in some of our favorite cities. We're so excited. And we want to let you guys know out there in the Maximum Fun universe that we are coming to you. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. On Saturday, September 15th, we will be at the North Door

in Austin, Texas. Yeehaw. On Saturday, December 1st, we will be at the Alamo Drafthouse Sloan's Lake in Denver, Colorado. There's no basement in the Alamo. We'll find out. Friday, December 7th, we are going to be at the Vera Project in Seattle, Washington. Oh, God.

Nirvana. Yes. And Saturday, December 8th, we will be at Vera Project in Seattle, Washington. Oh, God. Nirvana. Yes. Okay. And Saturday, December 8th, we will be at Mississippi Studios in Portland, Oregon. Hey, Matt Groening lives there. Yes. Or once lived there. He still lives there in our hearts. So make sure that you mark your calendars for those dates, and we will be posting the

ticketing links on our Twitter. That is at SimpsonsPodPod and we will smell you later. Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Linda Holmes,

terrible lizard. I'm trying to just keep it cool now because I got a little overstimulated in the last segment of the show. I think we all did. Yeah. Take it down. Let's close on a chill note.

Ooh, yeah. Blah. Oh, wow. Now we're listening to drone metal. Yeah. Blah. The chillest of the metals. If you turn it way up, it literally makes you defecate.

Right. yeah. Very small difference between a chill note and a brown note. Yeah. Very small. Linda Holmes, you, of course, are the host of NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour. That is true. A terrific podcast. Alongside other friends of Jordan Jesse Goh, including but not limited to Glenn Weldon.

That is true. I mean, Stephen Thompson, calling him a friend of Jordan Jesse go. Maybe it's a stretch of friendly acquaintance of Jordan Jesse go. But Glenn is his close friend. An intimate friend of Jordan Jesse go. Glenn has spent more time on Maximum Fun shows than Stephen has. Yeah. But he's welcome on any time he's in L.A.

I don't know if he makes it out here. I don't think he's welcome. We'd love to have him. Oh you don't think? No. Yeah not after that shit he pulled at the Grove. Bad for life. Not coming off.

Not... Steven, if you're out there, would love to have you. Yeah, we would love to have Steven Thompson on there. I think one time I upset Steven Thompson

by telling him about a record review that he wrote for the A.V. Club and mentioning that I had read it when I was in high school. Sure.

He doesn't mind. I love Stephen Thompson. Don't talk shit about Zaxxon. Every year on Stephen's birthday, Glenn retweets the same tweet, which says something about how everyone should tell Stephen that they love him because he is as a fish up on a dock and your attention is water

over his gills. It's colorful. Stephen Thompson is a delight, as are all of the various fourth chairs of NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour. Some people think we only like Cat Chow, but we like other fourth chairs as well. Audie Cornish, you're great. Audie Cornish is fun.

Audie's fun. They're all fun. Everyone should know that she doesn't really hate me. Audie? Of course not. When Audie challenged me and we had a fascinating conversation on my podcast, The Turnaround, it led a number of people to think that I was her enemy and thus I was their enemy. Oh, no, no, no.

By the transitive property. It's like, no, we're colleagues. When she asks difficult questions, that means she thinks you said something interesting. That's a good thing. Yeah. She's a serious journalist. She is a serious journalist. She has thoughts in her head.

That's why. Many thoughts. She's a wonderful person. Linda, you also – I know you've been – where's the – what's the status of this book that we're all going to buy? The book is coming out in less than a year now. The book is coming out in June of 2019. It's called Evie Drake Starts Over. It is a story of a young widow and a washed-up baseball player.

And frankly, I need Rick Ankeel to stop living the plot of my book because he's going to ruin my book for everyone. Rick Ankeel is a famous baseball player who was both a pitcher and a hitter, both very successfully in the major leagues. But most notably, his pitching career was derailed by the Yips. Correct. That is one of the things the book is about. So the book has a pitcher in it who has just kind of washed out of the Yankees. And so it is sort of about retreating from your bad experiences. And so the book is due out, like I said, June of 2019.

I love it very much. I've had a very good experience doing it. A lot of things that can be very difficult were actually very easy. The cover was very easy. A lot of things are a lot of things have have really been not as harrowing as they could have been. My my team has been great. So June of 2019. And you will hear about it unendingly when it gets closer. I am trying not to overwhelm anybody right at the moment. But I really love it. I'm really proud of it. For a long time, I was always saying like, it might be terrible because that's what people do. I think it's especially what women do if

they've never done the thing before. Like, please don't be first to tell me that it's terrible. I'll just say it's terrible. But I actually really love it. I really love it. I'm really happy with it. Linda, if Rick Ankeel gets too close to the plot of the novel, and you think that you might be even getting into potential legal hot water,

can I suggest that instead of being a pitcher for the Yankees, he could be Daddy Yankee? I thought you were going to say a belly-itcher. Both are good. Either way. Both are good. Just a couple of pieces of constructive feedback from some straight white guys here now. The last thing I will tell you about Rick Ankeo is that when I wrote the book, one of the things that I had the pitcher saying when he was explaining what the yips were like was saying it was like pitching with somebody else's arm.

And then I read Rick Ankeo's book. And you know what he says about the yips? It was like pitching with somebody else's arm. And I felt so vindicated. I thought – I was going to guess that he said that it was like belly itching with somebody else's arm. But I thought it was very edifying. I thought, you know, it was very fulfilling to think maybe I read enough about this that I kind of understood it even before I heard somebody say that exact thing.

And I felt great about it. I felt great about it. That's fantastic. Yeah. I'm excited. Very excited. And it's a new thing. Hopefully you are back around this way when it comes out.

You can come back on the show and remind everyone to buy the book. Yes. And I'm very excited and I will be tweeting endlessly about it. So you can follow me as always at Linda Holmes and find out all about it. We're always thrilled to have you here. Always grateful to have you here, Linda. Everyone should be listening to Pop Culture Happy Hour. Everyone should hear Linda on Pop Rocket.

Uh-huh. I was on Pop Rocket. Missing my buddy, Guy Branum, who's out promoting his great book. Everyone should go buy Guy Branum's book, My Life as a Goddess. Which is great. And he's a wonderful writer and really thoughtful person. Like me, came out of law school. So we share many things in common.

Are you also very good at quiz bowl? Were you on the quiz bowl team? I was not on the quiz bowl team, but I did win a place on the Delaware state math team. Nice. Nice. And she says she leads with how terrible she is. It's getting a little braggy. That's right. I'm a little braggy in here, Tori. That's right. I'm a little braggy. Yeah, you dropped your name of your high school event. I was just going to say Math Counts it was called. State Math Competition.

Oh, that's cute. Math Counts. Yeah, Math Counts. I love it. But you know what the trick is? The trick is you got to go to school in Delaware. Yeah. Because trying to get on the team in Delaware is a little easier

than trying to get on the team in, let's say, California. Hey, Linda, when they call it math counts, maybe they should have thought about the amount

of fucking people would do who got math multiplies. Whoa. Whoa. Teens on teams like to fuck. Sure.

I've been told. Yeah. Okay. Well, Linda, thank you very much. Sure. I've been told. Okay. Well, Linda, thank you very much. What a joy. Thank you, Jesse. Thank you, Jordan. This is so much fun.

I love doing it. You can join us on Twitter with the hashtag JJGo. You can join us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can join us by liking Facebook's Jordan Jesse Go page. Do you like how I fixed that sentence halfway through? Yeah, it was great. Wouldn't have known. Wouldn't have known you were having a problem. You can join the MaxFun Facebook group.

And, Jordan, you're the creator of the hit podcast, Bubble. I sure am. It's very good. Thank you, Linda. Very good. Thank you for the kind things you've said about it. It is very good. Episode 8 just came out. Yeah. That's the season finale, baby. It's very good. Thank you, Linda. Very good. Thank you for the kind things you've said about it. It is very good. Episode eight just came out.

Yeah. That's the season finale, baby. That's it. A lot of revelations in this thing. Sure, yeah. A lot of big plot machinations. A lot of big news. Yes.

If you were out there and you were waiting to binge it, because you love to binge all your pods. You're a pod binger. You're a nasty pod binger. Nasty pod binger. You're a nasty pod binger. Nasty pod binger. Are you nasty? Yeah. Binge this pod, baby.

It's ready for you. I know you're out there, Miss Jackson. Ready to binge the pod. That is great. Yeah. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan. Oh, wait. Our producer is Brian.

He's the one laughing loud outside. His name is Fernandez. Brian Fernandez. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan. Oh, wait. Our producer is Brian. He's the one laughing loud outside. His name is Fernandez, Brian Fernandez. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Go. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.