Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 544: Rumpus Dumpus with Naomi Ekperigin and Andy Beckerman

Episode Date: August 14, 2018

Comedians and writers Naomi Ekperigin and Andy Beckerman join Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the childhood movies that everyone would be disappointed to hear are problematic now, the ominous tagline for the movie Christopher Robin, and the trauma of panicking during an altercation with authority.  Plus, Jordan tries to make up for the cumulative damage he's done to Guy Fieri's reputation over the years with some nice compliments.  Check out Naomi and Andy's podcast Couples Therapy here! And if you haven't finished BUBBLE, the whole show is available for your binging pleasure!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne. Wait, what was I going to call myself? I had a name. Hold on. Let me think of it. Rumpus Dumpus? Is that it? No. Is that it?

Do it. Do it anyway. No. People love it. It got a great response from Brian. And our guests. I wanted to edit this out. And our guests, we can't introduce yet. No.

They all love Rumpus Dumpus. Anything I say will be anticlimactic after Rumpus Dumpus. Well, you should have fucking remembered, asshole. Because I'm here to pick up your slack when you forget what your nickname is. And if you forget, sometimes it's going to be better. Go with Rumpus Dumpus. Everyone loves it. Okay.

I'll say the other one in the next segment. Sure. I like that. I'm Jesse Thorne, Rumpus Dumpus. I'm not in love with it anymore. Honestly, not in love with it anymore. Jordan, you have to say who you are. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective.

Hi. Hi. Hi, Jordan. How are you? I'm doing well, thank you. Jordan, on my way over here, I was enjoying your appearance on the hit podcast, The Flophouse.

Thank you. Thank you. The Flophouse, Maximum Fun's own bad movie podcast. Yeah. One of the funniest podcasts around, I think. I agree. It's been a favorite of mine for years.

I love listening to it. I got to be, I've been on it in several capacities. I've been a fill-in host when Stuart injured his, let's say, dick. Yeah. God, I bet Stuart's got a crank on him. Man. Yeah. Handsome guy like that. Handsome guy like that. It's probably, it might not be huge, crank on him. Man. Yeah. Handsome guy like that.

Handsome guy like that. It's probably, it might not be huge, but it's probably symmetrical. Yes. So anyway, so, but I was on with all three floppers, all three peaches. The original peaches. The original peaches. And I think I probably came off like a laughing idiot just because I felt like a kid who got to like be called up on stage during Bozo the Clown or something. I'm like, I'm here. I'm doing it.

Ellie, it's right here. Anyway. It's funny. It was a real thrill. But I feel like I – if you listen to it, you're like, who is that laughing idiot? Anyway. No, you were wonderful. You were hilarious on the show.

And of course the – I'm self-conscious. The floppers, legendary floppers, were also very hilarious. And congratulations to Elliot and his beautiful wife on the birth of their child, Gabe. Yeah! I got a photo of that baby in my email. Me too. And I loved it. Elliot already... So as

we record this, Elliot's child was born two or three days ago. Elliot texted me today to see if we could hang out. Wow. With our children, not the baby. He wants to give the baby and the mom some room there in the house. I couldn't because it was my daughter's birthday. She's over at Universal Studios.

Whoa, riding the movies. Yeah. Riding the movies for her B-day. She loves Jaws. Sure. Happy 7th, Grace. She loves, she's a huge Waterworld fan.

If you wanted to see the Waterworld-sense show. She has been begging to see the Bill and Ted thing for the longest time. Yeah, well, that's only in Halloween. Okay.

And has been, and has been cut from the lineup for being both racist and sexist. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, yeah. What's funny is Bill and Ted isn't racist or sexist, is it? No.

Oh, probably it is. I haven't seen it since I was 10. Yeah, it might be. Yeah. But weird science. That holds up, right? I feel like if I watched Bill and Ted right now as a 37-year-old man, I'd probably like it.

Yeah, that's probably. I really, I would be. I kind of genuinely, I have not seen Bill and Ted as now as a 37-year-old man, you'd probably like it. Yeah, it's probably. I really. I would be. I have not seen Bill and Ted as an adult. Sure. But replaying it in my mind, and I'm someone who's, I'm anti-nostalgia. I don't like that bullshit. You don't like it.

I kind of feel like. As long as it's specific pockets from your childhood. I kind of feel like if I watched, look, if I watched a 1989 San Francisco Giants game, I wouldn't enjoy it. I'm realistic about that. But I think if I watch Bill and Ted right now, I think I probably would still like it. Yeah. It would be especially, let's bring our guests in. Okay.

Because I think this is a rich vein that we found. A rich vein like the ones on Stewart's Thick Crank. A rich vein like the ones on Stuart's The Crank. What a rich, rich vein. They are the co-hosts of the Couples Therapy podcast, comedians and comedy writers, both. They've worked on, collectively and individually, on numerous television programs you might have enjoyed. And they're here to charm us with their ad lib wit. And some scripted material.

They've got a few poems written. Naomi Ekperigen. Did I do it right? You did it. Okay, thank God. Naomi, before we introduce your husband, Andy, I will just say that I literally parked my car in the parking lot, and I'm like, I do not know how to pronounce Naomi's last name. And I pulled out my phone, and I'm used to, like, I'm a public radio host. I feel obliged to do the work to get it right. But I also don't want to ask.

No one wants to ask. If it comes down to asking, as a public radio host, you make the producer do it. And then you pretend like you always knew. See, I always go, like, I mean, I'm so used to a host on a stand-up show just turning to me and I just go, I know that's the question. You know what I mean? Like, my whole life long, I'm telling you. So it's like, I'll let you.

My whole life long, I'm telling you. So it's like, I'll let you. I watched, I'm going to call it conservatively five very great YouTube clips of your stand-up, all of which cut your introduction. All of them just went straight from your first word. I was just like, can someone please bring her on stage? Our other guest, her husband, the co-host of the Smash Hit podcast, Couples Therapy, Andy Beckerman. Hey.

All right. There's that signature catchphrase we all love. Hey, with eight whys. Seven e's, eight whys. Nice. My brain's exploding. I've got so much to ask you. Yeah, sure. Who is Stuart?

Correlate. I'm friends with Stuart. I've got so much to ask you. Yeah, sure. Do you- Who is Stuart? Correlate. I'm friends with Stuart. I know Stuart. I know all the floppers. Personal friends of both of ours. Okay. All right. Settle down.

I've never met them. Although, here in LA- You don't- He probably wouldn't let you. Stuart's too handsome. Yeah. I gotta say- Realistically, you're going to want to meet Dan.

Dan's also very handsome. I love this. Just dick it on another podcast. Who's getting it next week? Who's getting it next week? We're coming for you, McElroys. Dan's very handsome. So, anyway, you guys correlate handsomeness with genitalia beautifulness or evenness.

Okay, I just wanted to make sure. Genital symmetry. It starts from the top, works its way down. I think Stuart just has an easy charm that suggests he's got something great in his back pocket, so to speak. By which I mean that his penis is

so large. Well, I call it SDE, symmetrical dick energy. This will become very annoying on Twitter very soon. Second question. Yes, please. Jesse, would you watch an old sports event, an old sporting event, where say, I imagine, I don't

remember what the movie is, but like there was one movie where someone kept shooting people, where a football player shot people. What? The Last Boy Scout. So – or I also had in my head what if one of the football players – this is an old game. This is like 1992. Had a bomb strapped to them and then blew themselves up in the middle of the game.

Would you rewatch that game? Like at first? No. No. I have questions. Snuff? No, it's not snuff. It's a national event.

No one wants to rewatch a national tragedy. I don't want to rewatch the video of the planes hitting the towers. Why would I want to re-traumatize myself? A football player, let's say Thurman Thomas of the Buffalo Bills has a bomb strapped to himself and he blows up Machine Gun Kelly and all the rest of them. Yes. In the name of something positive. What? Andy, this scenario would never come to pass. This is pre-South Africa opening up. No, no.

It's apartheid era South Africa. He's blowing himself up in the name of freeing Africa from the white oppressor. He doesn't blow anyone else up? Sure. He blows – He blows up Paul Simon as well. Yes. He's at a Paul Simon concert. He gets up there. This is Graceland. The cultural boycott. Graceland a political hat. He blows a Paul Simon as well. Yes. He's at a Paul Simon concert.

He gets up there. This is Graceland. The cultural boycott. Graceland era Paul Simon. Paul and Ladysmith Black Mambaza are up on stage. Why do you keep emoji clapping? You're emoji clapping on every single one. While he's doing this, I'm just painting my nails.

Nails painting. Because, Naomi. I'm thinking about that eggplant I'm going to have for dinner. Leftist terrorism is important. Guys. Yes. Where are you at emotionally today? Where are your hearts? I'm curious. I want to hear about

your guys' beloved childhood movies that you would be troubled to hear are now unwatchable because of morals. Yeah. I would also, I agree with Jesse. Or because movies used to be less good.

Yes. Oh, God. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I agree with Jesse. I have not watched Bill and Ted since maybe like high school. Maybe I watched it once in college, but I was too stoned, bro. I probably wasn't. But yeah, I would also be devastated if there was like-

We do like to blaze trees. We do like to blaze trees. Blow fat clouds. You undercover cops. Yes. No, we're not. So, but you two would sell us some drugs, right? What movies do you be devastated to hear are harder to watch in our modern era?

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover. Sure, yes. The classic. Exactly what we would all say. I mean, how many slumber parties were you at? Sixth grade was the year of The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover. Yeah. I can't, like, what I remember is taking California history, learning about missions.

Sure, yes. And the, well, and the Milagro Beanfield War. Sure, yeah. We would all get a Bigfoot pizza from Pizza Hut. That was the year. Pop a straw in some Ecto Coolers. Ecto Coolers! And then watch Peter Greenaway films and Alma Dovar films.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Those were my sixth grade sleepovers in a nutshell. Those were fun. Solo sleepovers. Definitely solo sleepovers. Oh, what a bird. Do you have favorites that you have not seen since you were that age?

The Sandlot. I feel like I love that movie, but haven't seen it since. That movie probably sucks. Who's the kid with the bug eyes? Because he was pro-Nazi then, in the movie. What?

He was pro-Nazi in the movie? Yeah. Don't you remember when they were changing in the locker room and you could see the swastika tattoo? I don't like you ruining a memory. What in the world? Don't remember that.

Don't remember that dark moment in time. The Sandlot. Well, it's funny because I loved it. I was really into Bogus Journey. Yeah, sure. Oh, okay. That was a fun, good time. You're kind of cold on The Excellent Adventure, but when it

comes to a bogus journey, that's when you get on board. Oh my god, it was like kind of grotesque and terrifying. There was Station. What was Station? Is that the guy with the shaved head who plays chess? No, that's Death. That's the Bergman reference.

What I love about it as an adult is that there's a Bergman reference in this kids film. I think Station was the little goblin alien. Right, the two creatures. And I think they played keytar, I want to say. At some point, does Stations play keytar? Yeah, they bring Stations at the very end of their concert.

To play keytar. God, there's nothing better than a big group concert that just summarizes the events of the movie. Yeah, but also. This person, this person, this person. And also these people we met also can play instruments. And we never discussed it. And no one doubles up on instruments either. Yeah.

So anyway. It's nice. It's like one of those bands where, you know, everybody puts down their instrument, moves stations. So like the drummer goes and plays bass, and, you know, different people get to sing lead. Yeah. That's nice.

That feels like a way that everyone can feel special. Yeah. I think that's sort of like the whole thing with bands. It's just a way for everyone to feel special. But usually it's just the one person who's special in the middle. Yeah. You know, I don't know much about bands. You're into music, Andrew.

Sure. You're into music. That makes me think of like they were supposed to be a hair metal band, right, Bill and Ted? But really that has the elements of like a 70s prog band that's really like uh yes or an alan parsons project or one of those things so you have a lot of opinions about 70s prog i like rock regressive rock rock rock you guys want to talk rock and opposition? I think we could start a new podcast, which is-

I think we both need more podcasts. Yes. I certainly do. We do. The world does. Yeah. So yeah, let's do it. How can we-

Since we premiered Bubble, the world has not had a chance to hear your voice. Cool. Yes. I know. People are like, where can I listen to Jordan talk about whatever? To reuse the same few anecdotes. I think a pretty good podcast, a pretty solid podcast. I say this as a podcast creative executive.

I think a pretty solid podcast is the four of us get together and try to remember the plot of a movie. Oh, I like it. I like it. I'm in. I'm sold. Just work through. Got to get that sweet, sweet pod rev.

Yeah. Remembrances of movies past. Wow. That's lyrical. That's lyrical. Much more lyrical, I think, than probably the podcast. Exactly. Point Break.

That's the first episode, right? Yeah. Don't we all? Swayze. Does that involve snow? No. No. Point Break is That's the first episode, right? Yeah. Don't we all? Wait, does that involve snow? No. Point Break is the story. And we could practice.

Let's practice. I thought they were like on a mountain for some reason. Here's what I think. No, no. I think you are not, because there was a very boring, boring remake of Point Break that I do think involved some extreme skiing or snowboarding. Thank you for validating my experience. Yes, I see you. I validate you.

Thank you. You're a cherished member of this podcasting community. I remember all I really remember is a part where he dropkicks a dog. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. Patrick Swayze is running from Keanu Reeves, and to throw him off the trail, he hurls a dog at him. And no one talks about it.

It just happens. See, that couldn't happen today. No, it sure couldn't. You know what I mean? Those peanut people would be all over you. Thank you very much. Look at these libs telling me I can't throw dogs. I'm gonna own these libs. Can't wait to own the libs by throwing a dog at Keanu Reeves.

Jesse, I have to ask. Do you hate me because I said that the bug-eyed kid from, what was the movie again, Naomi? Sandlot. Sandlot had a swastika tattoo? No, I don't hate you. I'm just checking. I'm having trouble reading you emotionally. Oh, that's so funny. I'm emotionally unknowable.

That's like a baseline for this podcast. If anyone, Jordan too. I was going to say, I can't read Jordan, so you're having trouble. So we each can't read the person opposite us. So we're – well, Jordan's smiley the entire time. So I'm just going to take you at baseline. I'm having a great time, guys. I'm having a blast.

But I felt a change in the air when I said that. And I'm like, uh-oh. Did I just step in some emotional doo-doo? Look, I am completely neutral on both the Sandlot and Nazis. It's not a thing for me, not a concern, no feelings either way about the Sandlot or Gary. Sure, but what about me as a needy person? Oh, my God. Jump right in.

L.A. has turned us both into like exposed baby turtles. Like just we feel very shell-less here, really soft, really goopy. Can we make it to the ocean? Do you know what I mean? When I moved to Los Angeles. Tell it, sister. I went to downtown Los Angeles, which is a ton of fun. There's a fun neighborhood in Los Angeles called Downtown.

And there are, you know, substantial parts of Downtown are fancy pants lofts these days. But there are still weird neighborhoods that are dedicated to things. Jordan and I often speak on this program of the bong district. The bong district. Wholesale bongs. Do you have a head shop that needs product? A whole street of bong importers. What?

But there's many things like that. And I was downtown and I was visiting a men's tailoring products store called B Black and Sons. And I was on my way to a millinery store or hat making supplies store. Oh, my God. A haberdashery. And in between, I saw a three-card Monty game, a real three-card, a live three-card Monty game. Oh, my God. And a person selling tiny fish bowls with like a sandy mound and a tiny turtle and a little fake palm tree.

What? And I was like, these are things that I know only from like children's books published in 1952. Like these are not real things, but it was the only time. And, you know, like I'm from the city. I'm not, it's not like I. You're no bumpkin. Look, I didn't grow up on a farm. Sure, there's no three card money on the farm unless you invite Uncle Vern over.

Oh, boy. Yeah. I don't know why we- Old grift and Uncle Vern. Why do we still fall for that from Vern? He's a charmer. Yeah, sure. He's a charmer.

And he needs the help. You know, you kind of like- And he actually, he told me he has got these great speakers. Oh, yeah. They fell off a truck. And he needs to get rid of them because he needs a bus ticket. I did once. I have been offered speakers that fell off a truck once as a teenager.

From who? From exactly the person, like a shifty-looking guy. This whole thing sounds like a fever dream, by the way. I know. Walking down the street. Every element of it sounds like you had a 106-degree fever. You've never been on your way to a millinery supply store and had to consider millinery supply store.

And had to consider buying a little turtle. Where do you get your grosgrain ribbon, then? To riddle me that. On the dark web. Where else? No, you're right. Yeah, fair point. Sure. Fair point.

Heroin, too. How do you think it got the name The Silk Road? Oh, there you go. There it is. This is a lot of fun. They also offered woolens at the time. Woolens. It's so funny because you say words that exactly your face tells me you would say.

Literally. Jazzy's facial hair speaks of an era. And then he says words from that era. And I'm like, on game. I'm a contemporary man. I live here in the current world. I love to play Xbox. Yeah, that was convincing.

I love to wear one-piece swimsuits and lift large weights at the beach. I love to go to the druggist. Watch the next guy for a bit of fondant. And a phosphate. And a phosphate. A phosphate. And a fondant. And a phosphate. And a phosphate. A phosphate. And a fondant.

A chocolate soda, perhaps. Yeah. And we all think women should get the vote. Yeah. You won't find a single one of us who doesn't think that. Yes, just a bunch of suffragettes here in this room. Can I, on the subject of films, can I ask you guys a question? Have you guys seen the new film, and I don't believe you have children, is that correct?

I do not. You do not have children, but have you guys seen the new film? I don't believe you have children. Is that correct? I do not. You do not have children. But have you guys seen the new film Christopher Robin starring Christopher Robin and Pooh the Bear? No. How was it? I have not seen it myself. Okay. But I'm intrigued by it.

Okay. Here's my one – the thing in my brain about that movie. Yeah. This is not something that I would like to see. I don't have kids. And I, as a child, I put Winnie the Pooh in a category that I considered boring European stuff. Babar, The Little Prince. Oh my God, you were right about Babar.

Hinton! Just fucking snoozes, all these things. that. Hinton! Just fucking snoozes. All these things. Can I tell you? Just gentle snoozes. I read the entirety of The Little Prince with my daughter. Yes. Someone had gifted us a copy of The Little Prince. And I thought, you know, I feel like I never, maybe I never read this when I was a kid.

I should read this. This is a children's classic. It's a fucking nightmare. It's so boring. And he's alone. It's like the most boring book i've ever read in my entire life but what about the cartoon from when you were a kid from when i was a kid i'm older than everyone here i think yeah i didn't i'm in my late 60s i did i did not like the book so i guess i probably didn't watch the cartoon love the cartoon love bell and sebastian loved all the nickelodeons yeah from the 80s.

Pinwheel. Here's the thing. This is what I was – when you were talking – sorry. I need everyone to know Andy's gesture. Two fingers up in the air on two separate hands. Wow. That means something emotional. I'll talk to my therapist about exactly what.

But this is the thing. When we were talking about nostalgia earlier – Is that what your therapist is up to? ASL translation? Yeah. Look, these emotions are new to me. So it used to be it was just complete nothingness. My therapist mostly works with me and teaches apes, so to speak.

Yes. A lot of flashcards in my therapy. When someone's mouth is this shape, what does that mean? Andy, do you want to talk about kittens? We can get you a kitten. Yes. I have a nice one named All Ball.

Yeah. Fine animal gorilla. Yes. Fine animal gorilla. Thank you, Jordan. I was waiting for it. Thank you. Yes.

With the nostalgia stuff earlier, I don't think I could be – I don't think there's a movie from – if there was a movie from when I was a kid. Let's say Goonies. Let's say there was a character who is Asian-American or I think Japanese. I'm not sure. But I'm assuming there's going to be some racist stuff in there. There's a gong whenever they enter. Is that true? That was like – just like now if you like – if you get notes back on a screenplay, they say, oh, you know, you got to heighten the stakes.

You got to save the cat, all these kind of buzz phrases. Before, the only note was this character is Asian-American. Can you put a gong in there? So yes. So it's wall-to-wall gongs in Goonies. OK. I'm fine burning that. I loved it when I was a kid.

Maybe it was in the 80s it was for whatever reason okay to be racist against Asian people we had a love affair with interesting percussion instruments I mean it was the end of the prog era and people had all these leftover gongs

from their prog bands a rock band had a timpani in it a tuned drum what are the 30 little drum things They're prog bands. A rock band had a timpani in it, a tuned drum. Yeah. All the – what are the like 30 little drum things that prog bands or now jam bands probably have? 30 little drum things. Yes.

30 little drum things. Andy, I don't understand. There's a point. The point is – Tell it. Tell it. Tell it. Thank you, girl. The point is I'm fine letting the past die there's nothing from my

youth that i that is so important to me now that i would that if there was something too awful in it like what okay here's a genuinely uh revenge of the nerds last like one of the scenes you don't need to you don't need to you don't need to describe the scenes. We've all seen it. It's a bummer. I know people enjoy enumerating those things. We don't need to. Let the film die. It has bad things happening. Let the film die. Okay, so I'm glad you brought this up

because it dovetails with my point about the film Christopher Robin. Yes, it dovetails with it. So, woo. I haven't seen Christopher Robin. Life is just like a hurricane. Oh, my quick, just quick, quick point about it. The only thing I think of when I hear that movie is I've driven by the poster a couple of times.

Yeah. And it's, you know, it's like sad sack old Ewan McGregor and maybe like Pooh or Piglet or something is peeking out from behind him. Are you about to say the tagline of the movie? You can't escape your past? It's sooner or later your past catches up with you. What the fuck? That's exactly it. Sooner or later your past catches up with you.

What the hell? Did Winnie the Pooh snitch on a mob boss? On spring, listen, when Christopher Robin graduated college, him, Woody the Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, the whole gang from the Hundred Acre Wood, they went on a booze cruise. Kanga.

Well, here's what happened. Kanga had a little too much to drink. Oh, wow. And she hit her head. And there were so many drugs on the boat. They just decided to throw her off the boat. And they made a pledge not to tell anybody. Did Rue participate? Rue did, yes.

Holy shit. And then her body washes up on shore. Right. And that's when our movie begins. Yes. The washing up of the body. Right. It's like Twin Peaks, but for the 100-acre wood.

And children. Yeah. What a sinister. And the puppets look creepy. Sooner or later, your past catches up with you. Bring the whole family. Yeah. I mean, are they talking about, it could be that they're talking about Winnie the Pooh trying to deceive bumblebees.

Sure, to get their honey. Yeah. But it could also be the accidental drowning death of Kanga. Yeah. Well, she died of blunt force trauma. Yeah, blunt force trauma. But they're going to jail for not trying to help her. You see what I'm saying?

Like, that's the danger. It's not that they caused the incident. It's that they did nothing to aid. Because she could have lived. What they discover when the body washes up and they conduct an autopsy is that she could have lived had she received medical attention. Oh, or one of them actually had to have murdered her. And so then it becomes a mystery of which one, who is actually responsible for her death. Right.

Because she was pushed. It was Rabbit. Rabbit. Well, I mean, I could say maybe- How do you build tension? It's obviously Rabbit. Tigger seems to have maybe a bipolar streak. He's up.

He's bouncing. He's bouncing. Right. Right. I feel like Eeyore is the first to cave. You know streak he's up, he's bouncing I feel like Eeyore is the first to cave you know what I mean, because he's been battling demons this whole time with his depression he kills himself the body washes up, he sees the newspaper it's like It, the second act of It he kills himself

and writes Kanga on the wall in blood wow, I didn't think it would be a bloody end. Sure. Regret, it's a son of a bitch. Regret is a son of a bitch. Did you, were you a Winnie the Pooh kid? Yeah, you know what?

Winnie the Pooh is fucking great. As much as the Little Prince is, I mean, I think if you were a 20-year-old and you were stoned, you would like The Little Prince because it's like full of wisdom. I'm halfway there, baby. Yeah.

I'm 20. But yeah, Winnie the Pooh, the books are fucking great. I've read the books with my kids and as an adult, I just like marvel at how great they are. How many kids do you have? I have three kids

do you have three kids? I have three children and my my yeah I read the Winnie the Pooh books with them they're great

the Disney movie the original Disney movie pretty damn good pretty excellent what about the Hufflepuffs and Woozles a little bit much it's a lot

it's kind of shoehorned in there. They're like, nothing in this movie will fuck kids up. Right. Yeah, right. We're early Disney. Yeah. We got to fuck them up somehow.

Yeah. And then, you know, there was a Winnie the Pooh movie that came out eight years ago maybe with What's Her Face singing songs. Soldier Boy. I was thinking of something that was popular eight years ago maybe with What's Her Face singing songs. Soldier Boy. I was thinking of something that was popular eight years ago. Is that right? It's more like 10 or 12 now. But he does Superman a hoe. Sure.

Just coincidental. You know, it's got a What's Her Face new girl. What's that lady? Zooey Deschanel sings some songs, and John Cleese is the narrator. That's fun. It's wonderful. It's one of the best newer kids' movies. It's a wonderful film.

But those books are totally great. But from what I hear, Christopher Robin's completely insane. He sounds insane. And then he killed Kanga for once. I know, right? Right. I really want to see this now. I hate riffing on an idea, and then I'm like, oh, why doesn't that exist now?

Yeah, right. So you want the riff to come to life. Yes. Oh, you don't want to see actual Christopher Robin the movie. No. You want to see this dark procedural version. I know what you did last summer. Christopher Robin the movie sounds like a pile of garbage written by Jean-Paul Sartre or something like that.

I don't know. Pick your philosopher who talks about regret. But this... Again, fucking, I am having so many nostalgia flashbacks to sixth grade sleepovers. Oh man, regret philosophers.

Just play and spin the bottle and quote it, Candide. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. You know. Yeah. I like that. I like that wing of the poo. Yeah, I like that poo.

My kids and my wife and my wife's parents went to Universal Studios today. Yes. Wow. I stayed home with my youngest child. To ride the movies. To ride the movies. To ride the movies. They went to Harry Potter Land. Yes.

Wait, Harry Potter Land's part of that? Yeah. Why didn't we take my parents there? We really should have. Andy's parents came into town a few months back. And they're teenage nerds? Kind of. Yeah.

And basically because we are newish here, we don't really know stuff. You know what I mean? So we had visitors and we saw the tar pits and we're like, what else do you want to do? Los Angeles is not a city that reveals itself either. Yes. You must know where to go. You're like, do you guys want to see some strip malls?

It was true. We don't have strip malls like this back in Pennsylvania, Andy. Why do you make your dad sound like that? He is crazy. His father is Jackie Mason. Andy, I have all these tollises to do you make your dad sound like that? His father is Jackie Mason. Andy, I have all these taluses to give you and your friends. Friend friends. Goody bags.

We got a friend of ours who works at Universal that gave us passes to just, like, wander around the back lot. Except the security guards didn't get the memo and yelled at us. They stopped us. Even though I worked on the lot, I had my ID badge. When he came and stopped us, I lost all nerve. I'm really not confrontational. And he was a bald white man, which does trigger me from time to time. And so I didn't-

He could be a Southern sheriff. Truly. And he was on his thing. He was like, you gotta go. His name was Cole? Yeah. He He's like, yeah, yeah. He was like very like, you got to go. And I really wanted to be like, damn you. But then, you know, when you like you back down and then you spend the next three to six months replaying the conversation.

Do you want to be therapeutic right now if I were to play the security? OK, let's see. Oh, my God. I'm open to this. I really would love to be cleansed of this. Jordan, your first line is, howdy, y'all. Sure, yeah. Darn them Duke boys.

Okay, here we go. Howdy, y'all. Can I see y'all's passes? I'm sorry. This is a... I'm sorry. This is a restricted area. Show them your ID. Okay, actually, here's my ID from when I worked sorry. This is a restricted area. Naomi, show them your ID. Okay. Actually, here's my ID from when I worked here.

Work here. That's the problem. It was the past tense. Okay. Howdy, y'all. Can I see y'all's passes? Yep. Here you go.

Here are our passes. So we were just going to keep driving around looking at some stuff. I'm an employee here, and I'm here with my in-laws, and we just thought we would take a little walk around. Yeah, well, these don't look cotton-picking correct. So I'm going to have to ask y'all to scoot like a couple of jackrabbits. Okay, who's your manager? May I speak to your manager? That's what I want.

I will have a ride. I'm thrown off my axis here's some coupons for butter beers that is what I'm talking about I want to be that bitch I want to be a cannot talk to your manager bitch you want to be a Becky

I do and I'll be like whatever you say and then I walk away but I want to be your manager bitch that's the dream for me. I get a lot of anxiety in those kind of confrontational situations, especially with customer service personnel. So there is a point to which, and it's pretty far down the line, I am like ruthlessly efficient with customer service personnel. Like I am like clear and polite, but also emphatic and demanding. Yeah.

And I can get to a certain point, but then my, my mother appears inside of me and my mother will go from, my mom decides whether she likes or hates someone within 1.8 seconds of talking to them. I am with her. And so she will either leave a customer service situation married or she will just start screaming and like walking around and not making sense. And like that has so deeply traumatized me. Like anytime I'm in that situation, I'm afraid that my mom's going to appear andized me. Yeah. Like, anytime I'm in that situation, I'm afraid that my mom's going to appear

and embarrass me. And so, I, yeah, like, I can go, I can go 80%, 85%,

but then there gets to be a certain point where I just completely emotionally collapse. Like, 1,000%. And you, and then you abandon

your, whatever agenda you came in with? I, yeah. Like, you let it go? I like start, I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I completely – and, you know, like I'm a big straight white guy. Like I have got a deep voice on the phone. You can work it. Yeah. I've got all the advantages. I've got a college education. University of California, baby. Sure.

You got those nunchucks? I can give people the business. I got those nunchucks? I can give people the business. I got those nunchucks. I'm not half bad with them. Yeah, you're good with those chucks. Love to see you work them chucks. Yeah. My halberd I'm less good with, but good enough.

You know, you're taking those classes at the Y. Halberd classes at the Y. Shout out to the South Pasadena YMCA, by the way. Beautiful, beautiful building. Gorgeous facility. Beautiful facility. Great spin classes. They've got Zumba, Halbert, crossbow.

Sure. Throwing stars. Advanced gouging. Yeah. Advanced. Yeah. Intermediate, always full. I literally, I had to go to the Hollywood Y to take intermediate.

To take intermediate, right? But your pass is good at all of them. I haven't even gotten to eye gouging. I'm still gouging prices? Prices and then eyes. One's deadly. Right, yeah. Yeah, you don't want to lose your wallet in a scam.

One teaches you how to price groceries at a 7-Eleven. You know, gouging prices could be deadly in a natural disaster or a siege. Sure. That's true. That's when price controls are merited. You can't start gouging prices. Which would you rather lose? All your money in your bank account or your eyes?

Money. That's a no-brainer. I love my peepers, man. I love to peep with them. You need your peepers because you want to know what? You lose all your money, you got to find some more money. You need eyeballs. My baby blues are my money makers.

Your money makers. What if it's easier if you're blind? To do what? To beg for more money. I don't think anything's easier. But I do like your optimism. Jesse, how do you feel about me now? If I didn't have eyes, Andy,

how would I look at Stuart's crank? Okay, you want to take a little break? Hold on. Let's take a second. Think about that crank. We're going to need to take a quick break to think about Stuart's crank. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, May God bless each and every one of them. We're also supported this week by our friends at The Sound of Vinyl.

Yes. This is a recommendation service that's designed to learn your taste in music and offer you a personalized suggestion for records you'll love. It's really fun. You get on their website or you get on their service. They ask you, do you like this? Do you have this? Do you like this? have this for and you know six or ten albums yeah and then they send you a text message and say do you want this album all you have to do is say yes or no yeah it's totally fun it is really it is really cool i got some and they also have some really great like curated playlists or album lists. Yeah. I got a great jazz recommendation from Henry Rollins.

Of course. And yeah, I took home some records that I was really stoked about. I got an Erykah Badu record that I love. I got an Eric Dolphy record. That was the record that Henry Rollins recommended to me personally. They've got limited edition colored vinyl from artists like R.E.M., The Beach Boys, John Coltrane, Marvin Gaye, and more. It's free to sign up, no subscription fees, and no commitments.

Just go to soundofvinyl.com slash JJGO, and you will get $5 off your first record. That's soundofvinyl.com slash JJGO. We're also supported this week by Mack Weldon. I'm wearing my M-dubs right now, baby. Yeah, that's why you look so cozy. Yeah, I got those fresh, you know, we're in the summer heat. Yeah.

They got products specifically for the summer heat, Jordan, and that's what I'm wearing right now. I got that mesh on. It's a premium men's essentials brand that believes in smart design and premium fabrics. They are genuinely dedicated to doing a great job with men's basics. Underpants, undershirts, socks. In fact, now that I mention it, Jordan, I already said I was wearing little M-dubs underneath my shorts. Yes.

I'm wearing some M-dubs on my feet as well. What? Double M-dubs? Absolutely. Oh,. I'm wearing some M-dubs on my feet as well. What? Double M-dubs? Absolutely. Oh, man. I'm a real cutie. Yeah, they have all kinds of great stuff. I really, really like Mack Weldon products.

They want you to be comfortable, so if you don't like your first pair, you can keep it, and they will refund you, no questions asked. Yeah, you don't have to return it to them. So this is good for two reasons, Jordan. First reason, of course, it's no risk. You buy it. Yeah, you don't have to return it to them. So this is good for two reasons, Jordan. First reason, of course, it's no risk. You buy it. Yeah. If you like it, you keep it.

There's no risk here. If you don't like it, you get a refund. Just do it. And then secondarily, there's no risk that you will be sold someone else's underpants. That's true. Yes, it's a concern these days, but not with Mack Weldon. Yeah. Here's what you do.

these days, but not with Mack Weldon. Yeah. Here's what you do. If you want 20% off your first order, visit MackWeldon.com and enter promo code JJGO at checkout. MackWeldon.com and use the promo code JJGO 20% off these great underpants. We'll be right

back with more Jordan Jesse Go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, I'm Jesse Thorne, Woody Famoso. Hmm. Step down from rumpus dumpus. I know. That's why I tried to separate it. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I tried to give it temporal separation. Yeah. Andy Beckerman, popular murderer. Naomi Ickparigan, lady bones. Sick of all these male bones, these David Boreanaz's.

Exactly. He's not bones though, I guess. She's bones. She's bones. Was Natalie from Sports Night on Bones? One can only imagine. She might have been on Numbers. Oh, I love Num Threers.

That was like my favorite. Huge fan of Num Threers. I love it. Was Natalie from Sports Night on it? Scorpion? Any CBS procedural drama. Who's Natalie from Sports Night? She's the girl that everyone had a crush on when we were

16. She had Béchamel. Save this shit for the Linda Holmes episode. We just had one. We'll have another one in a year. Okay. Listen, should we start a separate Sports Night podcast where we go down the world's greatest show episode by episode,

breaking it down, talking about Natalie? Sports Night would definitely suffer in retrospect. Not that I don't think it would hold up at all. I think it would hold up reasonably well, but I think my golden tinted memories of Sports Night have to do with the fact that I was 16. Is that a Sorkin? It's a Sorkin. It was a Sorkin.

It's the best of the Sorkins from my perspective. That's not great praise. I don't care for the other Sorkins. It's the best of the Sorkins from my perspective. That's not great praise. I don't care for the other Sorkins. I will say this. I do not. I'm not nuts about the... With all due respect to all the big West Wing fans out there, I'm not a Sorkin person. You like the American President though, right? Oh, God. I can't get

hard unless I watch the American President. Is there a lot of walking and talking on Sports Night too? Yeah, but Sports Night, a little zippier. Benson is on it. Peter Krause. A little less swelling music

that tells you what exact emotion to feel. What to feel, yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't Good Wife on there too? Who's the Good Wife?

Josh Charles. Yeah, wrong crowd for this. Josh Charles is on there. We. Josh Charles is on there. Don't say anything bad about Josh Charles. That guy's my Twitter friend.

It's like I'm living my adolescent dream. Who does not love Josh Charles? Good Wife fans. Okay. It's like I'm living my adolescent dream. Who does not love Josh Charles? I love the good wife. Love the great fight. CBS All Access every Sunday. Before we get to our calls, do you want to explain your nickname? Which I'm sorry that I torpedoed with

the impromptu genius that was Ruffin Summers. It's just a sign that I see on my way to the cabin. It's for a street road called Woody Famoso Road in Famoso, California. That's fun. And it's just a nice, it's like Slater Kinney.

Yeah. Or But Willow McKittrick. Woody hyphen Famoso. Yeah, Woody hyphen Famoso Road. I bet some cool shit happens on Woody hyphen Famoso. You know, actually, you know who the original

Woody Famoso was? Stuart Wellington. Oh, really? Interesting. Interesting. I didn't know that. Kay Famoso was? Stuart Wellington. Oh, interesting. Interesting. I didn't know that. Que famoso. Que lastima.

Lastima. When something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN or voice memo that shit and just email it right in, jjgoatma at maximumfun.org. I'm going to be honest, Jordan. After last week's momentous occasions

on Jordan, Jesse, go. Shit, man. They ruled. They were very good. That was like literally two... On last week's show, we've been doing this segment, Momentous Occasions, for 12 years or 13 years, however long we've been doing Jordan, Jesse, go. For the most part, dead weight.

Dead weight. No one likes it. I think they skip it. Yeah. I mean, you could say that. It's like the top part of Marin. You could say that of all of Jordan Desi Go. Yeah, most people skip it, actually.

Yeah, there's not a lot of meat on these bones. Sure, all gristle. There's not a lot of bones for the meat, either. Sure, yeah. Yeah. Well, I got one. Yeah, like cartilage. It's like a shark fin soup either. Sure, yeah. Yeah. Well, I got one. Yeah, like cartilage. It's like a shark fin soup situation.

Right, yes. Which is cruel. Yeah, which is cruel. Which we all disagree with. We are opposed to it. Not me. Wow. You're the only vegetarian in this world.

Check out the Nazi guy from the Sandlot over here. Eating sharks? Yeah. They're killers. the same lot over here. Eating sharks? Yeah. They're killers.

Last week, we had two calls that were so strong. Yeah. They were the kind of call, I would say, a once-a-year quality. Yeah. Like a peak. Because originally, it was like, oh, I just got married. Yeah. I just bought my first house.

Sure. Then eventually, it became, well, I just saw a man with a pet woodchuck on his shoulder. And, you know, the ante keeps getting upped and also all the normal things are done now. Yeah. And for a while it was almost all sexual things. And we kind of, you know, we was, look, this isn't just a sex show. Sure. Happy Analogous, by the way. Yeah, happy Analogous, my friend.

Remember, guys, without a base, without a trace. Anyway, that's what we say during Analogous. These are all inside jokes that are upsetting. Among the many things that upset and alienate most normal people. So last week we had two truly incredible calls. One was a thrilling car chase. Wow. In the middle of the car chase? In which

some girls they thought were their friends stole most of their weed. Yeah. What was the other one? My grandpa has two bubbles. What? A woman who was watching TV with her husband. So if these calls were nicknames, they would be rumpus dumpus.

Hold on. Hold on. Can I go back to the buttholes thing? Sure. Yeah. Genetically two buttholes or they had like something happened where there was a tear. Oh, I don't know. You tell me.

You're the guy with two buttholes. Yeah. I did. I had two buttholes for a moment. You tell me, Gramps. Yeah. There was a rip and I had to have it. Oh my gosh. You tell me, Gramps. Yeah, there was a rip. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, gee whiz. That's horrible. He's back on top now. I didn't know you at this time. Now I'm back to one, baby. I didn't know you in your two butthole life. That's like, honestly, that's like what they talk about when they say, like, become a partner to yourself before you can become a partner to someone else. It's like, get your second butthole sewed up.

And then you can go out into the dating pool. Yeah, you got to be a top bottom. You got to. America's next top bottom. Yeah. So there's a lot of stakes on this week's calls. Tyra's great. Isn't she good in that?

If there isn't something remarkable here, then Brian's going to get fired. Okay. High stakes. Brian. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. My name is Jeremy from Redding, California. We have been evacuated recently as a result of a large wildfire in this area. But we just found out that Guy Fieri is on the way to our local evacuation center.

So everything's going to be okay. I heard this story. Guy Fieri, popular joke target, has teamed with another celebrity chef. Santa Rosa's favorite son. Santa Rosa's own Guy Fieri. Fuck you, Charles Schultz. Yeah.

favorite son. Santa Rosa's own Guy Fieri. Fuck you, Charles Schultz. Yeah. Yeah. He's helping the wild... He's feeding the people who've been displaced by the wildfires and the first responders. I mean, he has always been good. I know. He does

good stuff. He is just on a quest to make us feel bad for making fun of him. He is... If there is one thing you can say about him, he has always stood up for and provided for people in dire straits, whether they're displaced by wildfires or they're hungry at the Burbank airport. Sure, yeah. Is there a greater discrepancy between being aesthetically disgusting and being morally

benighted? Gorgeous. You know, I'll push back a little bit. Being aesthetically disgusting and being morally benighted. You know, I'll push back a little bit. Push back. I think that Guy Fieri is leaning into his thing in a really fun way. And I think it's – I don't know that I would call him disgusting. I don't know like I – Aesthetically disgusting. But he's saying even –

Aesthetically disgusting and Aesthetically disgusting. And I like Naomi's phrase, morally gorgeous. There are so much more disgusting aesthetics than this. Which is of a time. But usually it matches. Right? Donald Trump is like one of the creatures from Nothing But Trouble in the junkyard. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And morally he is also like the judge in Nothing But Trouble. Or like Dan Aykroyd while he was writing the terrible movie Nothing But Trouble. But I think, though, I think the difference is Guy, it's more that he has a style that we're not on board with.

But I think if he just, like, you know, put his haircut back, gave us more of a fitted shirt, there'd be a different vibe. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't think he's – What do you want to see him in? Like a black t-shirt with a little bit of stretch? Yes.

Not a V. Sure. But like a little – give me a crew neck. Give me some clean lines. Give me that natural brown hair. I'd like to see like a 2004 American Apparel look for him. That would be great. Deep V. Sure.

Yeah, sure. He's a little emaciated. Possibly like one of those beanie caps, but it's rolled up so it looks like a condom. Okay, a touch of a Yamaka condom. Like a reservoir tip condom. And then for some reason, hard-soled shoes.

Hard-soled. Yeah, I don't know. I think I feel good about making Guy Fieri jokes because I think they're fun and I think he's on board with it. But also, pretty good guy. And every food item I've ever had that's had his name on it has been pretty fucking delicious. Really? Including the trash can nachos in Las Vegas. Trash can?

Their nachos served in a trash can and they fucking rule. Anyway. An entire trash can? It's like a little trash can. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't know why.

But I bet if maybe I was having a bachelor party I could probably get him to... Maybe if I brought my own Rubbermaid. Okay, fill this with nachos, guy. Classic. Jordan's getting married. Jordan, classic, like Oscar the Grouch type trash can or modern Rubbermaid trash can?

Oh, I mean, I think I'd have to consider what's easiest to transport. And cleanliness is probably also an issue. I mean, I'm going to be eating nachos out of this thing. I mean, I'm not disgusting. Well, it's got to be brand new. It's got to be a brand new can. Yeah. Papa's got a brand new can.

That's what I said when I got my butthole set up. Hey, there you go. There you go. Yeah. So, I mean, I think a metal trash can would look cool. But if it was harder to transport, I'd probably have to go with the Rubbermaid for my nachos. I can see that. You're saying that your lack of opposition to his aesthetics is based on some kind of nostalgia for your lived experience of 1997? Well, I don't know.

Did you live in a trash can? I don't know. I mean, I think I'm just kind of protective of him because I think that he – and I feel – listen. I maybe feel a little bit guilty. I mean, because I was writing for late night television in the era of peak Guy Fieri joke. And I've taken some shots. Right. And yeah, so I think I'm just trying to...

Get right with God. Trying to get right with God. Yes. Right with God, right with Guy. Yeah. So yeah, I think I'm, you know, I feel like I've done more damage than most to the reputation of Guy Fieri and just want to walk it back a little bit. I understand that. I feel the same way about Smash Mouth every time there's a fun story about them tweeting with or about Bay Area sports figures.

Sure. Or coming out in favor of cunnilingus. You guys remember that? No. Is that during the You guys remember that? No. Was that during the DJ Khaled controversy? Yes. So DJ Khaled gave an interview where he said that- DJ Khaled is-

Crypto. Sorry. Yeah. I was going to say- It sounds like- Cal hyphen Ed. Sure. Pre-Superbad.

DJ Khaled, getting his power from Earth's yellow sun this is fun yeah I think DJ Khaled said in an interview that he does not eat eat pussy he does not eat his wife's pussy because he is the king right and Smash Mouth retweeted that remark

with a king who doesn't is no king at all and it's gorgeous yes I mean, does it force you to think about the guy from Smash Mouth munching box? Sure. But there's worse things. Yeah. He's on the right side of history.

Morally gorgeous. Sure. That's a morally gorgeous man. And is Despacito really better than All-Star? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's not for you to judge. Not for me to judge. Only Guy can judge me.

Only Guy can judge me. That's tattooed across my back in old English. We just got rich on t-shirts just now. Okay, guys. Don't make that t-shirt before we can. Andy loves merch. Brian, start it.

I'm going to email our t loves merch. Brian, start it. No. Start Brian. I'm going to email our t-shirt guy immediately. Make it. Make it. Only guy can judge me. I think, no, that's yours. That's copyright. Thank you.

You can do that two buttholes thing. Papa's got a brand new cane. That was a nice piece of business. You could sell it to other two butthole victims. Victims. I think we need a new set of the go-to like the carrot tops the guy fieris the the kind of like cultural go-tos because i found most of those people seem to be innocuous sure they seem like why can't we throw louis ck why can't

that be the new boy the new if we're gonna make fun of someone... Andy, you literally started with Nazis at the top of the show. We're trying to make a friendly podcast here. Thank you. Let's cleanse the palate. Would you like to describe any problematic scenes from porn? There's the glory hole. No. Next call.

Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Journey calling in from New South Wales, Australia. Can you pause this, Brian? Here's what I love about the voice memo. Rich, sonorous quality. Everybody sounds like Yahoo Sirius. Okay, press play. Hey Jordan, Jesse, and guests, this is Joni calling in from New South Wales, Australia.

Recently, one of my friends went to Sydney on a school trip, and he went to one of those little arcade machines that they have in malls, and he won a PS4. That's all. Bye. Okay. So, yes, these calls are much worse than last week. Well, as soon as he said New South Wales, I was like, okay, so you're not in actual

Sydney, which means there's nothing much left. So I like that his friend went to Sydney and won a PS4. So this isn't even his moment. That's some strong geography. You learned that at Wesleyan? Yeah, I read your Wikipedia page while I was trying to figure out how to pronounce your name. I live in Australia briefly. Oh, what were the circumstances of that?

You were a professional surfer? I was hunting sharks. No, honey, sometimes you got to get away. Yeah, sure. And why not the other side of the world? Had you robbed a bank? Were you running from your past like Christopher Robin? I was running from my past like Christopher Robin looking to start anew.

And I just remember- Sooner or later, your past catches up with you. That was good. Thank you. It is up with you. That was good. Thank you. It was not that great. That was good. A little mixed. Yeah.

His friend won a PS4. While you were in Australia, did you win a PlayStation product? I don't know which one was, what generation they were, two or three. Oh, God knows. It was 08 to 09. I did not win a PlayStation. What did I do? I was almost signed by an agent called Chocolate Colored Characters.

That was the closest I had come to success. Australia, get it together. Chocolate Colored Characters. But I would have had to pay to join this agency. Sounds like a bad deal for multiple reasons. I was like, I know a scam when I see one. Could have got a lot of commercial parts as that Christmas friend.

Oh boy. We need a black person hanging out in the background giving a knowing smile. That's what I thought. To be fair, you're probably good at a knowing smile. Oh, you know. You know that's my jam. Wait, sorry. Hold on. We're not supposed to pay to be

represented? It should be a mutually beneficial arrangement Wait, sorry, hold on. We're not supposed to pay to be represented? It should be a mutually beneficial arrangement between you and your management. Andy, no! You didn't learn that at Trump University? Yeah, I read your Wikipedia page! I did get sued by Trump University. For learning too much. If you've got a momentous occasion to share with us, give us a call.

206-984-4FUN. Or do like Yahoo Serious did. Record a book. Sorry, Australians. I don't think that you're all Yahoo Serious. There's that kind young woman who sent my daughter a bag of stationery from the stationery product shop she works at. That's nice. She's not Yahoo serious. No.

Some of you are poison spiders. The kind and thoughtful. God. Are you allowed to be racist against Australians? Oh, yeah. Seems like it, right? Yeah. Give them the old what for.

That seems like as good a target as you could find. These are friendly japes. Yeah. These are. We love. Is that an ethnic slur for Australia? No, it's true. Oh, boy.

There's a bunch of japes over in that booth over there. We are grateful for our listeners across the world, be they in the Antipodes or elsewhere. Elsewhere. Falkland Islands. Sure, we love them. We want to be clear. Only the British Empire, the current British Empire. The Commonwealth.

Yeah. If you're not in the Commonwealth games, fuck out of here. Are you? F-O-H. Yeah. 206-984-4FUN or email us your voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. We'll be back in just a second on what? Jordan, Jesse, go.

That's what. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Hey, have you checked out the MaxFun store recently? We've got a bunch of cool new stuff. For Bubble, we've got a t-shirt, buttons, and more. Reading Glasses fans will love their new library book inspired shirt. And if you're a fan of beef, check back Friday for the debut of our Beef and Dairy Network merch. We've got all that and more from a ton of MaxFun shows you love. So go check out what we've got and buy yourself something fun at MaxFunStore.com. Hello, I'm Oliver Wong, DJ, scholar, and journalist.

And I'm Morgan Rhodes, music supervisor and stiletto devotee. And we host Heat Rocks, a podcast where we invite our favorite musicians, writers, and scholars to talk about the albums that have changed their lives. Morgan, what exactly is a heat rock? It's a record that's like hot fire, combustible. Basically, just a really, really good album. We've taken a deep dive into Nigerian funk from the 70s.

He kind of had like a bad reputation in town as just being like a sketchy dude. And he was just making music that for thousands of miles around him, he was the only person doing anything like that. 1980s teen comedy soundtracks.

This soundtrack always felt the same to me as like when i would find a great blazer at a thrift store that i could i was like oh this is gonna be me now we've talked about prince boys to men kendrick lamar and everything in between heat rocks every thursday here on maximum fun Stay here on Maximum Fun. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio. Wait, how about this?

I'm Jesse Thorne, Buttonwillow McKittrick. There you go. Jordan Morris, Slater Kenny. What intersections on signs do you like? No, I think we took the only two. Andy Beckerman, Route 422, 76. There you go. Naomi Egg Paragon.

101 Freeway, I Don't Drive? Yeah. I don't know things. 101 Freeway, I Don't Drive. You said it, baby. On the corner of 101 and I Don't Drive. That's a great song. Sure. Anyway.

We've had a lot of fun on this week's show. We sure have. We sure have, Jordan. It's been a lot. Thank you two very much for joining us on the program. Thanks for having us. It was fun. We were just riffing and dripping.

Yeah. Did you say dripping? Yeah. Dripping. What are we, Billy Dee Williams? Riffing and dripping. You wish you were Billy Dee Williams. God,. What are we, Billy Dee Williams? Riffin' and Drippin'. You wish you were Billy Dee Williams. God, I would love to be Billy Dee Williams.

That would be fucking amazing. That guy works every time. Yeah. You guys have a new podcast. Yes. That I've been hearing a lot about. It's tearing up the iTunes charts. True.

Some of our, some beloved past Jordan Jesse Go guests. I saw Janine Brito in the lineup with her partner. Yes, absolutely. Tell us about this podcast. Naomi, do you want to go or should I launch into the spiel? I'll do it. Couples Therapy is a live show that Andy and I have been doing for years. First in New York,

now in LA. And on the show, we have comics who are best friends, lovers, sometimes exes, even siblings. Juicy. Yeah. They do sets together about their relationship. And so for the podcast, we bring you the best sets from the live show with a little talking and goofing from us.

You know? Yes. If you like my white weirdness and you like Naomi's black excellence, that is what our segments are about. That's our vibe. That's our vibe. So we talk relationship stuff, and we hear from people. We got great comedians. So it's a good time. You know what I mean? You get some funnies.

You gonna drop some names on us? What kind of names are we looking at? What about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend star Rachel Bloom and her husband Dan? Yes, we're gonna talk to beloved Jordan Jesse Gopaskas. There you go. Yes. We've talked to beloved Jordan, Jesse go past guests. There you go. As you said,

Janine Brito. And that's what they're most known for. Jordan, Jesse go. Exactly. They're hits. Yeah. I read Rachel's Wikipedia page before I came here.

Right. It was just a transcript of the episode. Yes, exactly. And I saw it. We're the Wesleyan of podcasts. Michelle. More like an Amherst of podcasts.

That's a t-shirt. That's a t-shirt. We should say, if you were running to maxfundstore.com to get the only guy can judge me t-shirt that we

should have made, someone beat us to it. Some internet yokel. Sorry. Can I pitch a t-shirt to you, Jordan? Yeah. It's like,

it's like a, it a vote for Pedro on it. Somebody already did that. Somebody already did it. God damn it. Yeah, I know, buddy. We're never going to get those t-shirt bucks. God damn it. Yeah.

Bubble merchandise now available. Maxfundstore.com. Yeah. Got some t-shirts, got some posters. Yeah. Got some sticker packs. Yeah. Anyway, you were saying. Do you have some sticker packs. Anyway, you were saying.

Do you have bubbles? No. That would be a good. No one would buy it, but it would be a good promotional. Yes, little plastic bubble jars. Anyway, it'd be fun. Okay, you wanted one more pair. One more pair to wet the whistles of the podcast downloading public.

Comedian Michelle Boutteau and comedian Jordan Carlos, who are good buds. Michelle Buteau, she's all over the place. You see her on Too Dope Queen. You see her on our Comedy Central half hour. Jordan Carlos, you've seen him at Max Funcon East. Yeah. Come on, baby. Bring them two together.

Let them goof. I thought, honestly, looking down the list of the one I was most impressed with, Barack and Michelle Obama. They're good in everything. They are good in everything. They are good in everything. I had a friend who did not know I was friendly with you recommend the podcast to me.

And I'm like, I know them. Oh my God. And something that she was saying that was great about the show was that these are like people you've heard from a lot, but it is a part of their life

that you have not heard about a lot. So whereas, you know, comics sometimes have, you know, bits about their relationship, you know, you don't get to hear the other side of it. So yeah, it's a nice, it's, it's, they, they said it was a nice kind of break from a comics usual routine. Yeah, exactly. That's why people are enjoying it so much. Yes.

And that's how we get people to come on the show. We're like, come on, goof with your butt. Goof with butt. You don't have to do your regular set. Sure. You can minimally prepare and still do well. Minimally, eh? Well, thank you two very much for joining us on Jordan, Jesse.

Go and welcome to Los Angeles. Thank you so much. The city I call the City of Angels. Or the City of Angel. David Boreanaz. You got it. Yeah, sure. For sure.

Absolutely. I'm more of a City of Spike kind of guy. Always. I was always more of a Spike guy. Kind of like Angels in the Outfield. You were really? Yeah, sure. Did you know one of the characters named Angel?

Okay. All right. All right. We don't need to know. Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez, it's his laugh that you hear piercing the veil of the fourth wall of audio coming through the literal fourth wall of this recording studio. Jesus Christ. This guy is such a Deadpool. He's a Deadpool.

He's a total Deadpool. Come on, Deadpool. So snarky. Since when are superheroes snarky? I guess since Brian became the producer of this podcast. He's the inspiration for Deadpool. Oh, he's a wiseacre. This guy is a wiseacre.

Stick to punching baddies. Baddies. Yeah. You can join us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. Hashtag your tweets. Hashtag JJGo. I always love to see the tweets about Jordan Yesico. It's fun.

I look at them all the time. You gotta engage. Almost invariably. What are your insights like? My insights? My insights? Insights. Impressions. My insights are as they should be, unlike some people. Okay.

Alright. My insights are moderate. The insides are as they should be, unlike some people. Okay. All right. My insides are moderate, I would say. Modest. Is that fair? You can join us on Facebook, like Jordan Jesse Go there, where you can get our new Vote for Pedro t-shirts. How about this? It's got an arrow and it says, I'm with stupid. Yep. Already a t-shirt. Already a t-shirt. Really? Okay. What about this? It's got an arrow and it says, I'm wood stupid. Yep, already a t-shirt.

Already a t-shirt. Yeah. Okay, what about this? Okay. Here's an idea. It says, Abercrombie and Fitch. There it is. That's our shirt, baby.

That's the shirt. And, you know, I don't know. I'm done. Yeah, cool. You spend. I retire. I hereby. Cool. Yeah, cool. You spend. I retire. I hereby retire. Going out on top.

Going to go home and eat some ice cream that's left in my freezer from my daughter's birthday. That sounds nice. Maybe use her new metal detector. Cool. Wow, that sounds fun. Yeah. To find the bowl? Going to be a wild night.

Yeah. Oh, for sex stuff. Oh. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Yeah. Oh, for sex stuff. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Bye. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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