Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 567: Relationship Anarchy with Kate Willett

Episode Date: January 22, 2019

Kate Willett (The Comedy Lineup on Netflix) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the ghost town vibe of current malls, the epic house meetings that occurred at the intentional community centered around polyamory that kate lived in in NYC, and the effects of widespread pornography availability on kids' sexual expectations.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. How are you, my friend? I'm doing good. I've, uh, just for this week, switched from coffee to green tea and I'm feeling very smug about it. Really?

Oh yeah. I'm better than everyone. You're not feeling- I'm better than everyone. You're not a crank pants? No, I'm not a crank pants. In fact, I'm a calm, cool, and collected pants. What is your normal 2019? Right. Because I remember there was a period where you, I never saw you, like you were like Dave from News Radio, where there was always coffee in your hand.

But that was quite some time ago. That's just because I didn't know what to do with my hands. I would never take a drink of that. And a lot of times those cups were empty. Okay. Yeah. But where are— No, I just pick at my eczema. What is your standard caffeine intake now?

Yeah, I mean, it's just kind of—it's a cup in the morning. You know, my indulgence is I love a coffee and a pastry. Oh, that's nice. Love a breakfast pastry, love a breakfast carb. What kind of breakfast pastry are we looking at? I mean, what do you got, my friend? What's in the case today? Yes, yes, and yes.

I don't like any breakfast pastries except for the savory ones. I'll eat a biscuit. I'll eat a ham and cheese croissant. I'll eat a cheese croissant if I have to. Almond croissant? Nope. You don't like that paste? Nope.

I hate that paste. You don't like that sweet paste? No, I hate that sweet paste. I want a mama bird to barf that sweet paste in my mouth. That is ideally how I would take that paste. Well, I think the ideal would be if a mama wolf barfed it into your mouth. You'd get a lot more paste. Yeah.

And the knowledge that it's coming from a mammal, which is closer to me on the evolutionary scale. You're being well raised. Yeah, sure. Yeah. So, yeah. Usually a cup in the morning. You know, I like the cold brews, but they are unpredictable, my friend. You never know what you're going to get.

It's like going and just going and buying a marijuana edible in 2004. Absolutely. You never know. There's no controls. Right. There's no labeling. Yeah, dude. A white guy with dreadlocks tells you you can drink half and you'll be fine.

But you're like, how much does this guy drink? Yeah. So, yeah. But I thought it'd be a nice experiment to switch to green tea for a week. And I'm feeling great. How are you taking your green tea? Just taking a... Bagging hot water?

Is there another way to do it? I don't know. You could sweeten it. I don't know. Yeah, no. Just bagging some hot water. That's nice. Do you hot water? Is there another way to do it? I don't know. You could sweeten it. I don't know. Yeah, no, just a bag in some hot water. That's nice. Do you feel relaxed?

It's mostly smug. Oh, okay. Yeah, like I'm better than everybody else. I mean, you look great. Thanks. I feel great. This is a week of lighter caffeine living. Should we introduce our guest on the program?

I would love to. Our guest is a stand-up comic. And Jordan, you know, I don't say this often. This is the kind of talk that I reserve for when a Maria Bamford comes in here. This is the kind of talk I reserve for when Brent Weinbach is here. This is the kind of talk I reserve for when I am deadly serious. One of the best in the business. Yep.

One of the best in the business. No arguments here. This is a young woman who came to MaxFunCon, burned down the place. There was nowhere to stay. We had to put up tents. Wow. It was a tent city because it had been burned down by our guest on this week's Jordan Jesse Go, Kate Willett. Oh, thank you so much. That's Jordan, Jesse Go, Kate Willett.

Oh, thank you so much. That's very nice of you. You're welcome. It's very sincere. What kind of pastry do you like? You know, I love a good almond croissant. I really do. It's that paste, right? It's so good.

I love almond anything. Marzipan, amazing. Oh, yeah, sure. Yes. Can I ask you guys if this counts as a pastry? A samosa? Yeah. I think that's a pastry.

Okay. Because sometimes when I used to go with my mom to the flea market in San Francisco, the Alamany Flea Market, there was a place where you could buy a samosa. I'll eat breakfast meat any day. So give me some peas and some ground lamb. Sure. I'm happy as a clam. I'm a potato samosa person myself. That's a nice samosa. Yeah,

it's really good. You guys like it when they give you that green dip? Absolutely. What is that? Don't know. How could it possibly be so green? It's mint chutney. Oh, okay. That's what that is, yeah. It would probably be easy to find out what that is. So I'm trying to eat less meat, but I'm not a vegetarian. But this weekend I was staying with a friend of mine who has a five-year-old. And the five-year-old little girl. And you ate the five-year-old? No, no. The five-year-old little girl says to me,

she's like, are you a vegetarian? And I said, no, I'm not. I'm trying to eat less meat, but I'm not a vegetarian. And she goes, oh, you really look like a vegetarian. And I'm trying to figure out what that means. Well, you are barefoot and you have that flower crown. Yeah, exactly. You should let your commercial agent know.

I don't know if I just hadn't brushed my hair or what. Yeah. How are you getting along with this five-year-old? She's really cute. Yeah. Sounds precocious. Yeah, she's precocious. She only calls me Kate Willett.

Never just Kate. Kate Willett. And sometimes she calls me Kate Willett. Never just Kate. Kate Willett. And sometimes she calls me Kate fucking Willett. Really? Someone taught her that. It was not me. Yeah. Yeah.

My friend Maria Calpito calls me Jesse Thorne. It's a thrill every time. An absolute thrill. A sincere full name calling. That feels great. I don't like it when my mom calls me by my full name because it means I'm in trouble. Oh, yeah. Well, you know I'm in trouble. Oh, yeah. Well, you know.

Jordan David Morris. Oh, boy. Come on, JD. What did I do? That name sounds like you're in trouble. There's just something about it. And especially think of it being said sternly with a little bit of a southern accent. That's my mom.

Oh, I almost said, oh, goodness, which feels like the right response to that. Yeah. Kate, you live in New York City, but you are originally from California. I am, yeah. I grew up in the Valley and moved up to Northern California for school, went to UC Berkeley up there, and I moved to New York two years ago. I mean, the second and third part seem kind of braggy. The first part seemed like false modesty.

What? Growing up in the Valley? Like, I was like, I underbragged that? I'm just a... I grew up in the Valley. I was a Maltine. Ooh, Maltine. I was like a Maltine, and me and my friends went to, like, what's y'all?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's the correct pronunciation of what wet seal. You had those two or three extra L's on the end. Were you a mall teen? I was kind of a mall teen as well. Were you really? Yeah.

Mostly the arcade part of the mall and the Orange Julius part of the mall. I occasionally went into other places on the way from the Orange Julius to the arcade. I think you could make an argument for the movie theater. Oh, sure. Besides that, those are tough to beat spots in the Orange Julius to the arcade. I think you could make an argument for the movie theater, but. Oh, sure. Besides that, those are tough to beat spots in the mall. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if they still have mall teens.

Do they have them anymore? I've been to a few malls and no. I mean, mall, at least the couple of malls I've been to recently. And I guess something that's outside of, you know, I mean, I guess in L.A. you have like a Beverly Center or a Grove or something that's kind of a schmancy tourist place. But when I've gone to like a mall-ass mall, it seems to be a place not for teens but for the confused elderly. Yeah, people who don't know how to use the internet. Yeah, exactly. It's very strange.

I went to a mall to pick up a computer I had bought where it was like, well, you can just pick it straight up from the store. And it was just a – it was a pretty medium mall. It was not a low-end mall, not a high – like a Macy's mall. Yeah. You know what I mean? Get in there and there is this air of desperation and confusion and desolation that is impossible to ignore. I agree. Yeah, it's kind of creepy. It's got a ghost town vibe to it.

Yeah, they should just have tumbleweeds in there, right? Yeah, exactly. That would kind of help just have some teen in charge of hurling tumbleweeds in every now and then. Tumbleweeds. Oh, sorry. Or alternate idea. What if they had hair extension kiosks in regular ghost towns? Oh, yeah.

Sure. Nice place to get a phone case. Yeah. Or a calendar cart that's weirdly there in March. Yeah. I also went into a mall a month ago to buy something, an attempt to buy something at a Target.

I was trying to buy a playhouse for my children. I was on this cross-country trip from Target to Target trying to buy a playhouse for Christmas. This sounds like

a hilarious Christmas family film. It was really like that, only horrible. Were you also, were you trying to get it before Sinbad? Yeah. The problem is, fucking Sinbad is

loaded. He had a driver driving him from place to place. He's got all that fucking funk festival money. Sure, yeah. So that guy's friends with King Function. Hey man, start a funk festival. Then you'll be able to get your children that playhouse that they created. I got to make friends with Cameo first.

Was this a playhouse that you go in? Yeah. This is the kind that's like, you know, three or four feet by three or four feet and is outdoors. It's like a shed. Oh, okay. Basically for children. A child shed? Yeah.

It's where they keep their lawnmower. I mean, like, I'm a grown man and I'm comfortable enough admitting that when I drive past the Home Depot, you know, they got those line of sheds outside the Home Depot. They probably don't have this in New York, but here in California or in other places where there's room, there's a line of sheds outside the Home Depot. I look at those sheds, and I think about moving into one of those sheds on my property. Right. Like behind my house or whatever. Kind of a tiny house kind of thing. I would just go there and read a book and no one would be making noise, basically.

I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could move into a shed. I watched the movie Room recently. Uh-huh. Have you seen that? No. I'm familiar with the premise. Yeah.

It's about a young woman played by Brie Larson and her small son who are living in a garden shed because they were kidnapped. They get out. Most of the movie is them on the outside. But ever since then, I don't even want to go in a shed. Wow. Yeah. My mother and father-in-law just moved in, too. They have lived in Marin County, which is north of San Francisco, for their entire lives.

And they're like 60-ish. And it has gone from being a slightly expensive place to live to basically being like wherever Martha Stewart lives in the Hamptons or whatever, like in terms of how expensive it is to live there. And my brother and sister-in-law wanted to stay there. So they bought a house together. But the house is only big enough for my brother and sister-in-law wanted to stay there. So they bought a house together. But the house is only big enough for my brother and sister-in-law and their two children. So they built a house on the yard, in the yard, that my in-laws are going to live in.

It is a 400-square-foot house. This sounds like another delightful premise for a family film. I know. Can we get Sinbad involved? is for a family film. I know. Can we get Sinbad involved? And like,

I admire all of the hard work that my in-laws did to build this house and to come up with a way to stay in the place where they're from that they love and, you know, all of that kind of thing.

But, I don't know, could you guys live in a, I think it's like 380 square feet or something? That's like barely bigger than the studio.

They have to, they have a, they have to have a sofa bed and it's the only place to sit. I'm trying to figure out how big 400 square feet is. It's like this. It's like, I mean, you know, it's like 15 by 15 or whatever. That's really small. It's definitely bigger than the place that I lived in New York before the place that I live now. I lived in a very small apartment.

Was this like your first New York apartment? It was my second New York apartment. The first one was with some friends from the Bay Area, and they were trying to start an intentional community around polyamory. I'm not really that polyamorous. Not at all, actually. Except for accidentally. Certainly not intentionally. I'm not closed-minded about what other people are doing. Yeah, I guess it might.

I mean, right. I suspect you're an open-minded person, but I can see how it would be a challenge to be the non-polyamorous person in a space dedicated to polyamory. It seems to me like you'd have to accept two things. And tell me if I'm wrong. Jesus. Absolutely. Yeah.

Right. I mean, the original. Yeah. Open-minded. Discreet. You'd have to accept that you might not have. I was going to say fuckboy, but then I decided that would be blasphemous, so I just kind of stopped. Thanks, Jordan.

No problem. We try and keep it clean on our show. Listen, if there's one thing this podcast is for, it's to lift up the Lord. Yeah. Praise him. So the two things you have to deal with are, number one, letting go of your preconceptions about uh how romantic relationships work and then the second thing is letting go of your preconceptions about how much talking you should do about polyamory when you're around the house yeah it definitely i mean the thing is is i

was moving from california so like the idea of an open relationship was like it was not strange to me but i got into a relationship when i was living there with a guy and we were just monogamous with each other but i didn't want to have to find a snooze yeah i didn't want to have to find another place to live so i started like lying and like kind of like you know when certain like male friends would come over you know i'd just be like, you know, when certain like male friends would come over, you know, I'd just be like, yeah, you know, we're kind of like seeing each other. Like I felt like I was gay in the 50s or something. And these dudes were like my beard. I was just like, do you mind if I lie to my roommates about the fact that we're in a relationship

so that I can stay a living here? But then that wasn't even why I moved out. You guys were just kind of like going to a movie on a Saturday night. Yeah, totally. Like well off to the orgy. Exactly. And then I moved out because it was getting like really tense. Everybody there was a big fan of nonviolent communication, which I'm familiar with that.

So nonviolent communication I think in principle is really great. Basically like instead of saying like you are a jerk who always leaves your stuff around the house. I say like, oh, you know, like when our house has a bunch of stuff in the living room, I feel a little stressed out by it. Would you mind putting your stuff in your room or something? You know, just take your responsibility. Jesse and I in college were both RAs. Yeah. So we received RA training and i i still make i feel statements

yeah having any kind of like tense conversation i think it's good in general but you know it got a little out of hand there i felt like the i still pass out condoms oh that's very sweet of you knock on my door late at night i wake up go downstairs. I still try and collect people into lounges to watch Fight Club. It's an important film. It is a very important film. I still often ask if I can get multicultural event credit for taking everyone to see Tlaib Kweli. Being an RA, that's so wholesome. It's just such a wholesome thing.

It's very wholesome. We were required to have a stash of condoms and dental dams outside the door at all times. People could just such a wholesome thing. It's very wholesome. We were required to have a stash of condoms and dental dams outside the door at all times so people could just take them, no question. Oh, really? And also, we were required to have a pie cooling on our windowsill. So those are the two rules. That's so homey. Yeah.

So your time at the polyamorous compound came to an end. Yeah, it came to an end in kind of a heated argument um one of my roommates um used non-violent communication to say that he felt unsafe when someone left a dish in the sink and i was just like i i hate when people say this but at that moment i was like this is why trump got elected like this moment right here that we're having yeah and so i just couldn't handle it anymore this is the future liberals want i know arguing about a dish and using i feel state you're like shouldn't we be talking about

polyamory right now i'm just like can you just be a normal person and just tell me to like do you know tell me i'm a fucking slob yeah like you're disgusting. But so I moved out of there when I was subletting my room whenever I would have a subletter come, you know, which was I was only looking for someone to take over like two weeks. Like, you know, I'd almost get someone to rent the room and then my roommates would show up and they would be like, how do you feel about sex parties? And then the person would like run screaming. feel about sex parties and then the person would like run screaming and i was like okay look you don't even want the person at your sex party who is like gonna come on here and be like i have been waiting for a living situation with sex parties like you definitely don't want that person sure so i moved out i moved in with a few comedians we had an apartment that was like almost the size of the studio and it was just like a yeah all like three rooms four people um and I just I never like dated anybody

the whole time that I lived there or anything like that because I was like if someone saw this place and wanted to date me that would be a huge red flag as yes as right i've as someone who has been in houses that were lived in by multiple comedians in their 20s that is the least likely place to have a sex party oh yeah you went from sex party extremely likely to no fucking way unless you you know you want to fuck with the danger that you might accidentally lay on top of an N64 controller. Yeah. Which might be erotic to some. It doesn't have a rumble pack.

It does have a rumble pack. Oh, it does? Oh, well, there you go. Came with Star Fox 64. Star Fox 64. I think that's right. Brian, look that up for me. I don't want to get ripped apart on the internet.

Dear Mr. Morris. It's I, Fox McCloud. Here with Slippy. Anyway. These are characters from Star Fox. Anyway. Fox McCloud is the titular Star Fox. Star Fox.

Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I didn't catch that it was Fox at first. Yeah. I was like, wow, they do swear on this podcast. Yo, Fox McCloud. That's from This Ain't Star Fox, an XXX parody.

Slippy is still the same. Have you ever lived in one of those New York apartments? This is the New York apartment I'm most fascinated by. It's where there, and there are, I think, relatively few remaining, but where there's a shower that's part of the kitchen. No, I've never lived anywhere like that. That seems almost worth it to me. Seems like a good place for a sex party. Yeah, sure.

I know. Get right out of the shower, start making eggs. Yeah. And then somewhere in between there you fuck. Yeah, sure. I mean, no need to get too explicit because as we mentioned earlier, we try and keep it clean for JC. Big ups to JC. But while you were in the polyamory house, were there sex parties?

No, definitely not. They were all talk, huh? Yeah, they were all talk. And, you know, I mean, it was like they would lose their minds about a dish. Yeah, they were all talk. And, you know, I mean, it was like they would lose their minds about a dish. I just I don't see these people emotionally managing the cleanup that would be involved after a sex party volume of sex can have whatever sex they want in a serial fashion without having to get involved in a lot of hither and yon, a lot of this and that, a lot of making org charts. That makes sense. Yeah. Like, it's people that, you know, are just kind of doing their thing and they don't need

to, like, join a community. Yeah. Like, you would want, if you're starting one of those communities, you want the rock in there, basically. You want the in there. Basically, you want The Rock there. But The Rock doesn't need to join the community to have whatever sex life he wants. It's available to him. Yeah, because I mean, I do feel like, you know, you meet these people and they're like, well, I'm a writer.

And you're like, oh, well, what have you written? And they're like, well, I'm outlining something. Or, you know, I'm making a pitch document. Like, you haven't written anything. Do you think this was kind of the situation with the polyamorous? Or do you think they walked the walk in other situations? They definitely were all dating multiple people, for sure. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I was kind of like, I mean, I've dated more than one person at the same time. I don't know if it was like poly or just like being single or something like that. But they were doing it in a way that I just think involves, kind of looks like being single, but involves like a lot more talking and connection. And giving everyone a specific title who you are dating. Well, some people do that. And I think some people don't do that. Like a non-hierarchical

polyamory is all the rage people call it a relationship anarchy too um yeah that sounds uh stressful yeah i know i just i don't know i hear people describe themselves like as relationship anarchists like it's usually some guy that I'm like, oh, that's funny. Like I would describe it was just kind of a creepy guy. You know, were there a lot of like house meetings? So many house meetings. So many. Was it did everything have to be passed by like universal acclamation or whatever it's called, where everyone agrees to everything?

There were two people that were like the leaders of the community um did they have special names like the chief david correct no i was gonna say the chief just just just regular names um but uh yeah it was it was pretty much just like you know they just what they said went you know sure and um you know there were a lot of house meetings because I think that a lot of the reason people go for polyamory is people who find a real joy in talking about their feelings. You know, like I can understand the joy in dating many people or, you know, being physically intimate with many people. Like it's not hard for me to conceptualize that, but I cannot imagine wanting to be super nice to all of them. To be constantly checking in with them. Yeah.

Oh boy. Yeah. I feel like as somebody who I've been with my wife since I was 17 years old. Oh wow. And I feel like one of the reasons, I mean, there are many things that have sustained our relationship for 20 years, mutual love and admiration and so on and so forth. But I feel like one of them is most feelings we've sort of come to an agreement on that bears no further discussion.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah. So like it really takes – sometimes know, sometimes new feelings happen. You got to hash them out. But for me, part of the appeal of having been with the same person for 20 years is, yeah, well, we dealt with that one in ought three. You don't have to revisit. Sure. That makes sense.

I mean, a relationship now that has been, we just hit six months. That's a milestone. And I'm starting to see a little bit of that. At the beginning of our relationship, we kept having a repeated political argument that was very hard. My boyfriend really likes Bernie Sanders, and I like him too, but not as much. This was like sure i am i am i am i am very familiar with being on being the one in the conversation who does not like bernie sanders enough yeah sure it was hard we had we had a lot of fights about this but i think you know i think we finally reached some level of understanding. Listen, you just reserve a lounge.

You watch Fight Club together. Yeah, exactly. My wife and I have the same problem where she only kind of likes, but I really love Lyndon LaRouche. Sure. I keep always bringing up Lyndon LaRouche. You're a real LaRouche bro. Yeah.

A LaRouche douche. Some of the RAs at my college were like that, actually. Oh, no. Yeah. LaRouches. P.S. I don't remember exactly what the horrible things were about Lyndon LaRouche, so I apologize if any of them traumatized you and made you feel bad, audience members.

Yeah. And I apologize if I got that thing about Star Fox wrong. Star Fox might be the name of his ship now that i think about it really i and he's a fox yeah i mean i remember he's a fox amongst the stars fox mcleod he can't he can't claim not to be a star kate back me up on this If you're a fox who lives among the stars... I don't know if he lives there. He just goes there to battle and draw. Jesse, he doesn't live there. You can't credibly make the claim that you yourself

are not a star fox. Well, I've thought about this issue a lot. Thank you. It's one that bears careful consideration. Yeah. I don't know. I'm inclined to agree with you. That sounds reasonable. Yeah.

Thank you, Kate. You know, Jordan. Yeah. When you say that Star Fox, Fox McCloud is not a Star Fox, I feel unsafe. Another. All right. Sure. Yeah.

House meeting. House meeting. Anyway. And I, when you say- This is how Koopa got elected, by the way. Sure, exactly. That's what Jesse and I fight about. I don't feel like he loves Waluigi enough. You just kind of like him.

Anyway, what a bad episode of the podcast. Because of me not well me too yeah you're doing Kate's doing great I'm trying my best no thank you for not mentioning deep cut Nintendo characters she's bringing circumstances humor

it's great so far okay we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica jessico it's jordan jessico i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective jordan every week jordan jessico is brought to you by all of the jordan jessico listeners who become max fund members at maximumund.org. But we also have sponsors this week. We sure do. And here's one that's been very good to us over the years. Very kind. Very good to us.

Very nice. I know we're making that sound sexual. It's not. They've just been, you know, loyal supporters of the show. Speak for yourself. Oh, well, I didn't mean to presume. The good folks at Squarespace. Not me, Brian. Oh, well, I didn't mean to presume. The good folks at Squarespace. Not me, Brian.

Oh, Brian. Okay. Hey, you know, I don't. Brian, what you do in your off time is none of my beeswax. Hey, if you have an idea, if you've got some work that you need to showcase, or if you'd like to promote a physical or online business, you should build a beautiful website from Squarespace. Here's what they do.

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Let's get back to the show. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, I am Kate Willett, polyamorous relationship consultant. Oh, wow. What are your fees? What do you get in an hour? Oh, well, let's see. So this is probably going to be mostly upper middle class people who live in Northern California. I'm going to go with $200 an hour. Seems fair. Totally reasonable.

Yes. Can I pay you in graphic design? Bitcoin. Oh, okay. Yes. Can I pay you in graphic design? Bitcoin. Oh, okay. Sure. Great. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's a little better than my therapist, and she has a PsyD.

So I think that seems about right. What's a PsyD? Doctor of psychology. Nice. Seems like if you're polyamorous, you're going to want that PsyD. Anyway, does that make sense? I don't get it. Explain.

You're going to want a side of D? Yeah. How about that? Well, I mean like side D. Oh, you're going to want that side D. I like it. It does make sense. That makes a ton of sense, Jordan.

Cool. I apologize for the first time. Yeah. No, that's okay. That makes a whole pile of sense. Anyway, let's argue about Star Fox some more. He doesn't live in the stars. He just goes there to fight andross

the thing is kate he's among the stars okay well you know anyway his flights and his dreams take place among the stars yeah anyway uh when something momentous happens to you like uh you move into a polyamorous intentional community would be an example? You know, we usually, those four examples are usually jokes. I can't imagine someone listening to this has not gone through that exact situation. Yeah, I feel like probably four people have called that in and

Brian has rejected them for not being notable enough now that I think about it. Brian, next episode when you screen the calls, let's have an all, I'm moving into a polyamorous situation calls. Let's really make a theme out of it. Do your dishes. Do your dishes.

Yeah, that's the number one piece of advice. Do those dishes. Also, there's a sort of collective board game collection. Like everyone shares a big group of board games. We did have that. Yeah, you're dead on with that. Yeah. Okay, what was in the collection? Definitely Settlers of Catan. We did have that. Yeah, you're dead on with that. What was in the collection?

Definitely Settlers of Catan. Well, naturally. With expansion packs? I don't know. Well, I mean, when a couple boyfriends or girlfriends come over, you're going to need that five, six players pack. Sure, yeah. And things are going to get nasty. I saw a Settlers

of Catan bumper sticker the other day on the back of a car and it was just the same kind of desultory graphic design that's on the box of Settlers of Catan, which is fun, by the way. I'm not putting down Settlers of Catan here. I've never played. It's fun. Yeah, it rules. It's one of those things that, like, you know, super, super board game nerds are a little annoying about. But then when you sit down and you play, it's like, fuck, this is so fun. I want to play two in a row. Yeah, anyway. professional graphic designers and the bumper sticker was that plus a little bit more and then it said like the game of our generation or something on it and i thought just like that

that person like went into the game gamescape or whatever his local game store is called and was like give me that fucking bumper sticker i'm ready to commit i want everyone to know it was the only bumper sticker on the car it wasn't like it was a car covered in bumper stickers and like visualized world P's and shit they're just like yeah you know who I am I'm a fucking Catan guy I don't have a child that's an honor student Bernie Sanders already lost the primary

what do I have left I am a settlers of Catan man by the way I also am a Catan guy which is why my only bumper sticker says, I heart mango. What? Chris Catan signature character mango. Oh, that's fun.

Yeah. That's fun. When something momentous happens to you, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, 206-984-4FUN is our telephone number. Or you can just send a voice memo to JJGO at MaximumFun.org. Brian, why don't you roll the tape on the first call? Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. I'm going to guess fan funk bassist Bootsy Collins. Can you pause this?

Is that a possibility? I mean, we've been trying. You've been trying? You didn't even bring me into it? No, see, here's a little peek behind the curtain. I mean, I know you're very busy. I like to do a lot of the booking on the show. I've been trying to get Bootsy, and a lot of times he gets busy.

He rolls his ankle trying to walk on his platform shoes. And so every time you hear Steve Agee on the show, that's because Bootsy Collins canceled last minute. Oh, are there other funk legends that you're trying to book? George Clinton. Oh, wow. Yeah. Charlie Wilson from the Gap Band? Sure.

Yes, absolutely. Wow. All of the Ohio players. Oh, every single one. Every single one. So we're going to need a bigger box or maybe like a remote place that they can be. Wow. Yeah.

What about Gary Scheider? No, we have beef. Oh, okay. Yeah, he knows what he did. Okay. Fair enough. Wow. Yeah. What about Gary Scheider? No, we have beef. Oh, okay. Yeah, he knows what he did. Okay. Fair enough. First play, Ryan. So I was in my bath after taking some of my perfectly legal in the state of Minnesota medicine.

And I was having a pretty good time until I watched my cat, the dumb son of a bitch, knock my toothbrush that was sitting on the counter, perfectly swatted it into my open toilet. I realized I probably shouldn't have had my toilet open while I'm taking a bath. But at the same time, such perfect accuracy is only witnessed a few times in a man's life. So I thought it was a pretty momentous case. And he just knocked down some shampoo. All right, cool. That's really good. This dude is so chill.

Is he still in his bath? I think he's calling us from the bath. I heard some. I think that's what, like, this guy was too, he'd used too much medicine. Too much time to tap. Yeah. He was. He's overtapped. He had taken so much Sudafed that he had, you know, he had recklessly left his toilet open while he was taking a bath, which is the first thing they teach you when you go away to college.

They're like, look, you're going to be living with other people. We know that your parents did everything for you before. What's important to know about being a grown-up is never have your toilet open while you're in the bath. Because who knows what could happen? Sure, yeah. Gremlins, probably. Do they come out of toilets?

Gremlins 2, the new batch. Yeah. You think of Ghoulies. Oh, Ghoulies? Yeah. Okay, thank you. Some say it's why Trump got elected. Yeah, I've heard that.

Yeah. I've heard that. It is very cute when a cat knocks something over. I mean, I might have, like, cat owner Stockholm syndrome, where I just think everything she does is cute, but- You've been infected by cryptosporidium. Oh, yeah. That's right.

Her poo parasites have gotten into my brain. And I'm loving it. What are some things of yours that your cat Bug has knocked over? Oh, let's see. So, you know, just stuff that's sitting out. She has a little pot full of cat grass. And she likes to get up there and eat it. But, but she also likes to knock it off the shelf. Does cat grass mean... What's cat grass?

It's just a grass that's safe for them to eat. It's good for their digestion. It's a little hard to find house plants that you can have with cats just because everything will kill them. It's very limited, but there is this kind of special grass called cat grass. You can get it at the supermarket. It grows very fast. You kind of get it short when, you know, like it's mostly just seeds and dirt.

You water it, and over the course of a couple days, it gets really long. And if your apartment only has, you know, one natural light source like mine does, it kind of grows slanty toward the light source, which is very fun. natural light source like mine does. It kind of grows slanty toward the light source, which is very fun. Oh. Yeah. And I mean, I would imagine probably the best thing is

if you don't have ass or cash. Sure, you can get a ride. From a chill dude with a pickup. Yeah. In a bathtub. In a bathtub. He's got a Catan sticker on the tub. Guy's so fucking chill up there in Minnesota.

God, this guy is so chill in Minnesota. But what I like is that even though he made the classic mistake of leaving his toilet open while he was in the bath which he admitted didn't seem to vex him that much but he he comfortably admitted it he still had the presence of mind to have our phone number programmed into his telephone yes and give us a call from the bath where if he dropped his phone he would die really would that kill from the bath where if he dropped his phone, he would die. Really? Would that kill you?

Do you think if he dropped a- I don't think that would probably be a pleasant tingling sensation. I don't think it would kill you. No. Not an iPhone or anything. Yeah. But Samsung. I have a StarTAC.

Motorola StarTAC. Yeah, that'll kill you. Oh, I don't know what that is. Do you think that'd do it? It's deadly. Hello? StarTAC? Who are you'll kill you. Oh, I don't know what that is. You think that'd do it? It's deadly. Hello? StarTAC? Who are you talking to?

Oh, I'm sorry. This is the wrong number. This is StarFox. And I have some issues with the fact that you think I live in space. I don't live there. I just go there to fight Andross. But you answer the phone, hello, this is StarFox, while you claim that you're not StarFox? Listen. You're not Star Fox.

Listen. You're Fox McCloud. Listen, I've had a lot of my medicine, wink, wink. It's now legal here in space. Yeah. Where I work and don't live. Anyway. Do you think Star Fox just goes to work?

He commutes to space for work? Yeah. I don't think he lives in space. He lives in like a bedroom community, like maybe an hour and 15 minutes from space. New Bedford. Yeah, exactly. He commutes. Is there a train? He's like Joe Biden.

He has a commuter train? Yeah, he's the Joe Biden of Nintendo. Anyway, Brian, we got another call in there hey jordan jesse and guest this is sarah from anchorage alaska and i just had a very quick momentous occasion that i wanted to share with you um if i sound out of breath or stuffy at any time excuse me i'm sorry i do have a bit of a cold. So anyway, on November 30th here in Anchorage, we had a 7.0 to 7.2, it depends on who you ask, earthquake. And after that, for the foreseeable future, we were going to have some aftershocks. And aftershocks to a 7.0 really are just the size of regular earthquakes.

So I am Catholic, and I was at church on the 31st for the vigil instead of on the first, cause the first is a holy day. Anyway, long story short, I was around the 31st and in the middle of churches, we're all standing there during a certain part of the mass. Um, the whole church starts shaking, lights start flickering because alas, we're having another quote unquote aftershock, which turned out to be a 5.0 earthquake. Um, it was pretty crazy. We all paused, but we all just stood there and get through that. And believe it or not, we all just continued as if nothing could happen at all. Um, just finished, finished church and looked around at each other. So that was my

momentous occasion. I just wanted to share with you. I'm also getting a puppy in like four weeks which I'm pretty excited about, but that was it. Thanks so much. She had a crisis of confidence at the end of the call. Yeah. She's like, I need something to take this from a B plus to an A minus.

Why is it taking four weeks to get a puppy, do you think? I mean, it's Alaska. They got to ship them in. Oh, sure. You got to wait for the puppy boats to come in. I guess they don't have Amazon Prime there. Yeah.

That's how you usually get a puppy. A drone flies one in. Yeah. I do listening to this. First of all, somehow there was a 7.0 earthquake in Alaska that I didn't even notice. Was that in the news? She didn't say when it was. It could have been a long time ago.

Do you think she's been saving this recording for quite some time? Right. Yeah, exactly. I don't know. I mean, she sounded so chipper and upbeat, I would guess. Let's say Alaska way. I don't know. If I had to think of a stereotype about Alaska, I would say I would expect more of a hardened.

Right. Survivalist. Yeah. Sick of rizzled type. Yeah. Her whole story is starting to fall apart. Yeah. This lady is not from Alaska.

There was no earthquake. Were you two here in Southern California when the Northridge quake struck? I lived in Northridge. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, it's a titular city. Were you killed? I was not killed. My house fell down,ridge. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, that's in a titular city. Were you killed? I was not killed.

My house fell down, though. Oh, really? Yeah, I was a little tiny kid, and our house fell down. Holy shit, that's a legitimate trauma that we shouldn't have brought up. No, I mean, everybody was fine. No one got hurt. My parents lost a lot of their stuff, but then we moved. Wow.

So how soon after the quake did it fall down? Did it fall down during the earthquake? At what point did it fall down? Actually, none of it fell down during the earthquake. Then a leaf was floating down through the air, and it landed on on the chimney and then it all collapsed. It wasn't like every room. Right. So a couple rooms fell down.

Okay. Like the living room. Still though. Yeah. But my bedroom didn't fall down. None of the bedrooms fell down. I think that it fell down during the quake. It was more of a like collapsing in on itself a little bit.

Yeah. A lot of houses on my block had that. Actually, I think, you know, people weren't really like prepared for the earthquake. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've experienced quakes growing up here. Yeah. Nothing.

Knock on wood. Nothing. Nothing serious has happened. The reason I mention it is because, you know, I was, I didn't experience the Northridge quake, but the Loma Prieta quake in 1989 in San Francisco, I lived in San Francisco,

and that was a 7. It was a 6.9 to 7.1 depending on, 7.2, depending on who you asked at the time. I don't remember what they settled on. But the thing that I remember about it is it was fucking horrifying. Like, it was the most horrifying thing ever.

I was not chipper for, like, a month afterwards. Well, maybe you need Catholicism. Yeah. Like this. That's another thing. Maybe that's why she's so cheerful. It seems like... It's because she has the love of the Pope.

Part of what's cool about catholicism yeah with the you know the literal transubstantiation and all that different shit sure is that if there was a natural disaster during the service it would have cool consequences people would be like oh that means this yeah you know what i mean but he's probably just like uh probably just happened during the like community announcements this is like some fucking anglican bullshit oh it's all just a metaphor no you're supposed to be like yeah fucking that walls are falling down this is great this is the word of god yeah it means something shaking it is shaking the foundation of this building. Get the Pope on the horn.

Let's find out what it means. Yeah. Hello, Pope. Yes, it's me. Are we doing a bit? No, I don't know. I was going to do a thing where this is actually calling Star Fox again. Yes, it's me, the Pope.

I'm from South America. Central America, maybe. I don't remember. Mama mia. Mamma mia. Yeah. Anyway. We have one more call, right? Yeah, Brian, we got another call in there?

Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. This is Hannah from the UK. And I had to call and tell you about a momentous occasion that happened to me only about 15 minutes ago. So last weekend here, there was a big storm. And unfortunately, my roof leaked. Universally, this week's momentous occasion calls... Chill as fuck? Chill as fuck! The exact words I was about to choose!

Everybody's taking medicine. Sure. Good for them. And I'm sure they've consulted their doctor. Yes, the CBD revolution is here. Yeah. Sure. Good for them. And I'm sure they've consulted their doctor first. Yes. The CBD revolution is here. Yeah. These people have their acts together.

God, I'm jealous of how chill everybody is. You know how sometimes people are really, they're selling it to the point of overselling it. And you're like, I get it. Look, I get it. I did high school theater too. You know what I mean? These people are just present, clear-eyed, comfortable. These are the kind of people that you want to buy a car from or hire after talking to them at a job interview.

Oh, I don't know about that car. I don't know if I'd buy a car from that first guy. You know, just like, is this a good car? He's like, yeah, it'll be fine. It's true. It's chill. Has there been any car? He's like, yeah. It'll be fine. It's chill. Has there been any accidents? Oh, I can't remember.

Yeah, it might break, but that would be cool too. Yeah, because then you could walk more. And you've been meaning to do that. Can I give you some car advice? You're like, yeah. And he's like, if you're in the tub, always close the toilet. Yeah. Classic.

Classic automotive advice. Don't make that mistake, baby. Okay, press play. Last weekend here, there was a big storm, and unfortunately my roof leaked. So I was up there this evening basically taking down all the insulation that got wet from the leak.

And I was right over in the corner of my loft like my attic right under the eaves where you have to kind of crawl on your stomach to get to and I lifted up a sheet of insulation and sitting very neatly underneath it was a VHS tape and it was really dark up there so I couldn't see what was on it but it looked like brand new like it had barely been touched and so I crawled back out of the attic and I climbed down the stairs and I opened up this VHS tape and it was very clearly labelled as someone's sex tape. And the best part about it is that it is labelled as number 20, which makes me wonder if I ever have another leak and I have to take more insulation out,

will I find 19 more VHS tapes? Who knows? OK, so I hope you enjoy that as much as I did because I had a good laugh about it. Okay, I love you guys. Bye! Love you too. Yeah, love you too.

Whose sex tape do you think it was? Cate Blanchett? I was going to say John Major. Could be. Who are some other British people who notoriously like to fuck? Dame Judi Dench. Oh, you know. She's steady fucking.

She's steady fucking. Yeah, Dench fucks. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. This reminded me of a time that I was, uh, in like, maybe like junior high. I was like feeding some cats for a, for a neighbor. Um, you know, some like kind of early responsibility.

Uh, and of course being, you know, 13 or 14 or whatever, went poking around in their house and in a file cabinet found an unlabeled. Trying to find Pokemon cards. Trying to find Pokemon cards. Trying to find Pokemon cards. Oh, I don't think Pokemon were out yet. What would I have? Magic the Gathering. Magic the Gathering cards.

Dude, can I tell you some shit I just found out? Sure. I have this friend at the flea market. I got a lot of different kind of friends at the flea market. Sure. You know, you go around to the flea market every month. You make these friends with people. All different kind of people at the flea market.

Definitely. All different kind of weirdos at the flea market, like myself. And this dude, real cool dude, makes some dope pottery and he sells jewelry with his mom. This motherfucker had a couple magic cards for sale. I'm like, oh, the Magic the Gathering cards.

I haven't really looked at those, but my friend Roman Mars Podcast had an episode about them the other day. And he goes, yeah, I got half a million. Half a million magic I got half a million. Half a million magic cards? Half a million magic cards. Jeez. What?

That's so many magic cards. Seems like they made too many. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. It's just a lot of magic cards. That's the moral of that story. And I found an unlabeled VHS tape and immediately put it in, and it was space porn.

Oh. Porn featuring aliens and spacemen. Wait, aliens? Yeah. Holy shit. People dressed as aliens. These were human actors. Holy shit.

Yeah, like really. Had you seen penetrative pornography before? I had seen my dad had a Playboy stash. Uh-huh. So, you know, so a lot of like, I had seen nude women on ATVs. Yeah. Which was the main thing that I assumed sex was.

That's when a nude woman rides an ATV. was when a nude woman rides an atv um and i had seen a kind of like sex positive for couples like you know how to please your lover type video um said i was just in that was just in class. Set on Earth. But no, this was the first time I had seen like very porny porn. And it was also in space. Because I remember. And I think it shaped me. I don't remember seeing hardcore pornography until the internet was fast enough to deliver hardcore pornography. And I don't think I ever had that until – I might not even have seen it until I went away to college. I had seen naked people and pictures of things but not videos of things.

But I have very vivid memories of finding my dad's like greatest playboy centerfolds. Soft cover book, I guess. And that was great. Loved that. I found like a porno magazine in my dad's like bedside table or whatever that was like a big butts themed porno magazine like the kind that you would buy it at the liquor store or at the corner store you know what I mean and that like fucking terrified me like I was so excited about pornography. The size of the butts. In general. Yeah, it was just like so intensely specific. Just the amount of butt in it. So your anaconda wanted none.

Yeah. That's what you were saying. Exactly. Too many buns, huh? I remember just being completely overwhelmed by that. I remember just being completely overwhelmed by that. Yeah, definitely the jump in I've seen a nudie magazine to here is porn is shocking. Yes.

It's possible that the internet has broken our brains. Yeah, it's probably bad. I mean, now I guess kids can watch that stuff when they're like, I mean, as soon as they can figure out how to use the Internet. It's like easier to get than a Playboy. Yeah. I mean, when I was in elementary school, nobody had ever seen porn besides like, you know, somebody's dad's Playboy or whatever. But I just, I don't know. I'm not trying to be like some kind of prude or something, but I feel like if I had kids, I would be really worried about that. Yeah.

Yeah. I it's yeah. I also don't want to be approved, but also think maybe it's bad. It's tough. Yeah. Because like, right. Because like, you know, relationship sex is terrific, but kind of a snooze, you know, so I think there's no way to, like, prepare people for the fact that, like, you know, there there there are there will be instances of in your life of insane, you know, surprising over the top, you know, sex. over-the-top sex,

but also a lot of it will just be you nude-spooning and you pause an episode of The Good Place. You know, anyway. How do you even give your kids the talk in that situation? Like, sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much, he consensually chokes her. Right, Ted Zant's face is paused on your laptop.

Yeah. And yes, and real sex will not involve your stepfamily as much as porn would lead you to believe. That's the worst trend. That is the worst trend. It's very confusing to me. Yeah. I'm not like a pornography watcher,

mostly because, well, I don't know why. I think, I mean, I know that there's like feminist porn and stuff like that. But in general, like I'm very off put by images of women being mistreated, even if it is consensual was going. I think because we're talking about the step family stuff. Oh, the step family stuff. Yeah, but I feel like the couple times I have been like, oh, is this for me? There's just so much step family situations that I'm just like, no, never again. I don't – Yeah. I find myself wondering, is this being viewed by people with step families, by people who had always imagined they would like like oh my mom never got remarried it would have been great if she did

because then i could have had some fuck buddies we all just wanted our moms to be happy yeah i mean the people i knew that had step families it was really more the excitement about, you know, getting additional Christmas presents or whatever. Like, it wasn't. Right. That's arousing enough. Yeah, exactly. Nobody needs to take out their- They don't depict that in the step porn.

You're right. I think that seems like- I think they could just have a whole just thing of the upsides of divorce in pornography. It's mostly just that Christmas present thing. But to a certain extent, there's like a competition for your affection. When your parents try and buy your love. Yeah, exactly. Like dad takes you to Legoland. Yeah.

Don't tell your mom we went to Legoland. What does that even look like? Just like, well, I'm never going to be your real mommy, but I do have these titties. I would love it if you would call me mom. Yeah. But also check out these titties. Yeah. I know that I'm new to your family,

but I don't cook, so we're going to be going to McDonald's more. Sure. It would be an example. That's arousing. Yeah. Did we listen to that whole call? I think we did.

What was it about? Oh, they found that. Oh, they found that. Oh, they found that. You know what it made me think of? I just read this book that I had read as a kid, and I read it with my daughter Grace called Oversea Under Stone. Did you guys ever read that book? It's like a children's fantasy novel series. And in the book, it's's really great by the way if you got a if you got a kid maybe uh

maybe a 10 year old perfect perfect for it maybe a 10 year old kid and um in it this group of kids moves into a house in a small english town with their parents and they're fucking around in the attic and they lift up something and underneath is a telescope case kind of thing. And inside there's a scroll that turns out to be a map to find the Holy Grail. But I was thinking it would have been really something if they just found some homemade porno. Sure. It would be nice. Really, who knows where this story goes from there. Relatable. Yeah.

I guess I was about to yell at our caller for not watching the porn and then telling us about it. But I guess where do you find a VHS player these days? Yeah. And she's in the UK. She's got to find a PAL one. Oh, boy. Is that the UK one or is that the American one? I don't know.

PAL. Remember there's two different kinds of VHS tapes? I do. I know what you're getting at, but I also don't know exactly which one. Anyway, but I mean, I think in England they're more modest. So I think she probably, you know, respected this person's privacy. I was going to yell at her for not sending it to me so I could watch it on the TV VCR at my cabin. Oh, yeah.

I have these listeners send me VHS tapes that they don't – largely that they don't want. And I'll accept them. I appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gesture. But if he found some homemade porn, I'd say, well, just send it my way. I'll take a look at it. I'll give it a thumbs up or a thumbs down, I guess. Maybe get it converted to DVD. But the problem is it's going to be that NTSC PAL compatibility issue.

I have an American TV VCR, Kate. The problems we deal with. I know. Modern life is so confusing. Ain't it? We're all fucking our stepsisters. Oh, boy. Stepbrothers.

And we have those issues with the VHS tapes, of course. And then you can never find the cable you need when you need it. Yeah, you have to go into that giant box of cables. You're like, what is this, USB, HDMI? Sure, yeah. Come on. It's from the one Samsung phone I had five years ago. Why do I still have this?

Yeah, I use a Motorola StarTAC now. Sure. Anyway. We'll be back in this? Yeah, I use a Motorola StarTAC now. Sure. Anyway. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,

la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Hi, I'm Allie Gertz. And I'm Julia Prescott. And we're the hosts of Everything's Coming Up Simpsons. Every episode we cover a different episode of The Simpsons that is a favorite of our special guests. We've had guests that are showrunners and writers and voice actors like Nancy Cartwright. I got a D minus, I passed!

And we've also had people that are on the Max Fund Network already. We've had Weird Al Yankovic on the show. I was just struck by how sharp the writing is. I mean, that's no surprise because it's The Simpsons. But, I mean, like, you can't say that about a lot of TV shows, particularly ones that at that point had been on the air for 14 years. Find us on MaximumFun.org, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right.

Smell you later. Bye-bye. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. All right. Smell you later. Hi, I am Laurie Kilmartin. And I'm Jackie Kish. Together, we host a podcast called The Jackie and Laurie Show. We're both stand-up comics. We recently met each other because women weren't allowed to work together on the road or in gigs for a long long time and so our friendship has been unfolding on this podcast for a couple years jackie constantly works the road i write for conan and then i

work the road in between we do a lot of stand-up comedy and so we celebrate stand-up and we also bitch about it we keep it to an hour we We don't have any guests. We somehow find enough to talk about every single week. So find us. You can subscribe to The Jackie and Laurie Show at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, bye. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, consultant. Kate Willett, by the way. Stand-up comedy special on Netflix on the comedy lineup. A lot of great comics in this comedy lineup. Sure.

Series of stand-up specials. They're good at branding these stand-up specials. Like I said, I don't care if you live in Kalamazoo or Timbuktu. You can hop on Netflix.com, take a look at Kate Willett doing some jokes. It's great. You know what you're going to say to yourself? This is one of the best in the business. Yeah.

Roll it again, you'll say. This is one of the bees in the bee. I wish it was available on VHS. Oh, yeah. That's the dream. And then you still have to deal with NTSC. Yes. Pow issues.

I know. Classic problem. Yeah. Anyways, that's that nice kind of like lived in, grainy tracking. Netflix usually only does Betamax releases. Right. Exactly. That's the issue.

That's the future. But yeah, I have watched this special of Kate's. It is so funny. I mean, seriously. And it's a shorty. It's 15 minutes, 20 minutes, something like that. 15 minutes. Very short.

No reason not to pop that on ASAP. Gets in, throws some punches. Of course, the thing about Kate is she doesn't care who she offends. No, uh-uh. An equal opportunity offender. As long as she's speaking the truth, who's going to come at her? Plus, she's got her killer put-downs. Right.

Don't forget her put-downs. Kate is a put-down artist par excellence. She's going to put me down for speaking French, but it's kind of an honor. You like a little roasting. You like a little roasting. It's kind of an honor. It's like, yeah. If Kate Willett's going to take you down at the knees, you can go to work.

Hey, guess who threw a few gags at my expense yesterday? The great Kate Willett from Comedy Lineup on Netflix is what you can say. You guys are really nice. I can't think of anything I would make fun of, though. Ah, shucks. Aw, jeez. Ah, boy. Unless I get into really niche humor where I just make fun of people who like Star Fox or something.

Oh, please. No, not my beloved Star Fox. That's how Jeffrey Ross actually got famous. On his way up, it was all Star Fox stuff. Then once he got to the top, he's like,

oh, I don't know what I'm going to do. You got a big nose or whatever. Yeah, exactly. But before that, it wasn't all Star Fox stuff. There was a few

like Super Mario Party things. Right, yeah. Some Pikmin material. Donkey Kong Country. So, Corey, you have that chunk about how some people have the Rumble Pack, but some people don't.

It's true. Good stuff. It's very relatable. Good material. Very relatable. I would follow, if you're on Twitter, I would follow Kate on Twitter, too.

Very funny tweets. Great tweets. A solid follow, if you ask me. You know what conversation I had at dinner tonight, Jordan, right before we came over to record this program? I was sitting there with my wife and she had gotten up to go do something. I looked at my phone for a moment and I said, hey, Teresa, remember how excited I was to

have a Kate Willett on Jordan Jessica? She said, yeah. I'll show you why. Here's a great tweet she just wrote yeah I'd already started and retweeted I showed it to her she got a good laugh

out of it well thank you so much you guys you're so sweet this can happen to you too yeah I mean you don't even have

to be married take our advice you don't have to be married it could be somebody sitting next to you on the subway it seems maybe like an invasion

of their personal could be someone making your sandwich at a subway. Oh, that's more likely. Sandwich artists would appreciate this because they're a fellow... It's like an artist-to-artist thing. Sure, there's a code. Artists appreciate art. Kate, it's been a joy to have you on

the program. Thank you for having me. This has been a blast. Our program is called Jordan, Jesse, Go. You can find us on Twitter at jessethorn and at jordan underscore morris. Our producer is Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. You can find us on Twitter at Jesse Thorne and at Jordan underscore Morris. Our producer is Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com

You can hashtag it on Twitter hashtag JJGo Facebook search for JordanJesseGo and if you want to write down things so you can remember them for later, like if you have a show to do later and you have to remember all the different things that you want to call out, a pen and paper is always great. Classic. Nothing beats it.

Yeah. It's tactile. So otherwise you'll probably sort of stumble over it and kind of forget it even though you've been doing it every week for the last 12 years. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessica. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.