Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 572: I'm Doing My Best with Matt Braunger

Episode Date: February 26, 2019

Matt Braunger (Finally Live in Portland) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Matt's character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the possible sexual darkness during the active years of the Beatles, and the results of the poll from last week pitting Jeopardy contestants against people named Dabney. Plus, Matt has new comedy special which he recorded in a former porn theater in his hometown of Portland, OR -- Finally Live in Portland. Action Item: if your name is Bronson, let us know! Give us a call at 206-984-4FUN or email us at [e-mail]!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, full of curry. Jordan Morris, uh, yeah, not. Jordan, should we? Not full of curry. About a year. Fuck, man. I wish you would have told me about this.

I like to be on the same level as you i like to bring the same energy so get on my level homie i ask you before every podcast right i ask you to do me the service right of telling me what you had for dinner uh-huh um how much sleep you got the night before and if you have jacked off because I want to come in with the same energy. You want to come with the same cum. Right, the same amount of cum. Right. This has really changed as a podcast that I'm familiar with.

It's better now, by the way. It's better now because we're really trying to sync up. Yeah. But apparently this guy's just eating curry willy-nilly. We got an app called sisters with a z oh and we're trying to just get on the same path by the way our guest on the program this week you know him of course as a stand-up comic an actor a podcaster above all else you know him as a cast member of mad tv oh god matt bron. Matt Bronger. Above all else. Also, do you think,

and I don't, I mean, I don't maybe have to ask Brian to check the archives, but is this, Matt, are you our first and only guest to officially be part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe? I can't speak for your thousands

of other guests, but yes, I am perhaps the lamest member of the entire Marvel Universe. No, I mean, listen, I think you were greatest member of the entire Marvel Universe. No, I mean, listen, I think you were great as Ronan the Accuser. I'm proud of it. Yeah, as the Beyonder. Secret Wars 2, yeah.

No, I have a bit about this, but a friend of mine was like, go to the Marvel Wiki and put your guy in. You're in there. Yeah. And the picture they took looks like I – it's just a still from the show where I'm looking up and like I'm – I just look like I wasn't ready for a picture to get taken. But it also has my signature quote. So with characters, you have the signature quote. So with Captain America, his signature quote is from I think The Last Avengers where he's like – Fuck you, Nazis.

It's like – I wish it was something like, where he's like... Fuck you, Nazis. I wish it was something like... It's basically like we're not here. We're not asking forgiveness, and we're way past asking for permission. Earth just lost her greatest defender, so we're here to fight. And if you're standing in our way, then we'll fight you, too. Real strong. Great. My character, Dr. Aloysius Samberley,

his quote is, I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best. I love it so much. You scream it before you run into battle. Oh, God. Like no one who's ever doing well has ever said they're doing their best. We should explain, by the way, that if people don't know Dr. Aloysius Samberley, that's what they call a secret identity. The character's name is Dorkotron.

Right. Dorkotron is what he call a secret identity. The character's name is Dorkotron. Right. Yeah. Dorkotron is what he changes into. Yeah. Yes, when very angry. Uncle Fartface. Signature quote. Yeah.

Loser McCrooked Dick. You're in the Agent Carter TV show. Where did you say, I'm doing my best? What was the context of that line that you're now so famous for? I was defusing a bomb. Wait, are you? And the guy's screaming at me. And he's like, any time, Sam Brilliant.

I'm like, I'm doing my best. Are you like a guy who someone yells, enhance that? I could be. Like at a terminal doing something? My guy was alive. Like Marilyn Rice Cub on 24? A lot like her, but more I was a scientist in the 40s, so we didn't have a lot of TV screens that we could do anything with. All you really had was nuclear weapons.

Nuclear weapons, yeah. The show was kind of like the advent of superpowers post-World War II and this little crack team of misfits they had got assigned, almost like the X-Files. They're like the losers. Was your character, did he have precedent in the comics? Like, is that a comic character? No, no, he was made up for the show. He was made up for one episode, and I played him, and then the writers liked having me to play with,

so they kept writing me in. And is there gross fan art of you somewhere i don't know there's gotta be there's gotta be and hey if there's not draw some audience yeah folks that's funny i i have gotten a lot of people like bring them back yeah because i was like that was like the comic relief on the show and like you had uh uh envir my my friend and the the very very handsome uh guy who played the chief. And I was always just snapping at him. Like I'd drive him crazy.

I'd like to see, and I'm really spitballing here. Dr. Aloysius, what was his surname? Samberley. Samberley. Dr. Aloysius Samberley giving a sly H.J. to Sonic. Oh, you're talking about in the fan art. Yeah. Not in future Marvel movies. As in the Hedgehog? Yeah.J. to Sonic. Oh, you're talking about in the fan art. Yeah. Not in future Marvel movies.

As in the Hedgehog? Yeah. Okay. Certainly not the hamburger chain. Just orp. That doesn't have an operating phallus as far as I know. There's someone out there named Sonic, I'm sure. I just wondered if there was some character I hadn't heard of.

Right. I don't think that was exactly. Who wants to be Obi-Wan? Kenobi? Kenobi? So Dr. Aloysius Pemberley? Samberley. Samberley is giving a sly H.J. to Sonic.

In the fan art. And the Watcher's there, and he's just raising one eyebrow. The Watcher. You know the Watcher's nasty. He likes to watch. He's always watching, yeah. He's a nasty cuck. Yeah. And he's married to Sonic, so it's a... Oh, yeah. He's a nasty cuck. Yeah. And he's married to Sonic, so it's a...

Oh, yeah. He paid for this. We should be able to see his ring and Sonic's ring. Right, yeah. Someone right now is sitting down to their drawing board. They've just cracked their knuckles. Literally right now. Like, I'm glad I got this new Wacom tablet.

There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. So, but in addition to being part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which we're really glad to have you, you know, if you could help us get in touch with Ronan the Accuser, we'd love to have him on. No problem. At some point. He's reaching out more.

Oh, yeah, sure. He has a podcast now. Yes, of course he does. Or he accuses people of things. Right. That's not a podcast now. Yes, of course he does. Or he accuses people of things. Right. That's not a bad concept. I have a quick – if you see anyone who's in the DC universe, could you ask if I could talk to Firestorm the Nuclear Man? Yeah, sure.

Thank you. Yeah, no problem. We've covered all our bases there. You also, I learned from Twitter, just got back from seeing Diana Ross. In Las Vegas. How was it? It was amazing. It was a great show. She's still got the pipes.

She's obviously having a lot of fun. This is the last night of the run before she comes back in June. And my wife this week was just like, should we go see Diana Ross in Las Vegas? I'm like, yes. Because my wife has just been working these ungodly hours and she's always stressed out and frazzled. And she loves Las Vegas. She loves to shoot craps. And so I was just like, great, let's do it.

And so we just flew there yesterday and just flew back today. You guys are fun. We are pretty fun. Yeah. We're pretty fun. And it's fun to be married, A, to someone who's fun and B, you don't need to have the fun you used to have 10 years ago. Right.

You know what I mean? Where I'm just like, I got to burn this night to the ground. Sure. I think we were in bed by like one, you know? But like still got like wings and fries brought to the room. You know what I mean? That is fun. Room service.

Just watching TV. Eating on the bed. It was great. It was great. What is the crowd like at Diana Ross? You know, it's a lot of, mostly old straights and young gays is what I found. And kind of – a lot of groups of older black folks and a lot of – like a huge amount of young gay couples. Okay.

Yeah, that were there. I love to go see live music. I love it too. Live music. It's the best. You know what I love? Travel. You love travel. I'm kind of weird like this.

I love travel. Also, blowjobs are great. Top three. That's a Tom Segura joke. And of course,'s a top three. That's a Tom Segura. And, of course, pork chops. Let's see. I love – I basically just did a Tom Segura joke.

He has an old joke about people who are like, travel's kind of my thing. Like, oh, really? Yeah. What else do you like, man? Steaks and blowjobs? You're blowing my mind right now. That's the line for his joke. Yeah.

Yes. That is – I mean, that is something that you – that I have encountered a lot like doing like online dating. It's just the person whose profile is all about how much they love travel. This is my thing. And it's not it's never. And when you talk to them about it, it is rarely about what they learned or an experience. It's just a list of places. here is a list of places i have been to them it did not affect me emotionally at all but i have a fucking list it's like thank you mr griswold sure where else did you yeah yeah uh anyway but i feel like with live music i feel like

i see you know the the sweet spot for me is like stuff that was popular between 1996 and 2006. Okay. But now I'm like, I should see more legends. I should go out of my way and see more legends. It's not only a legend. It's a Las Vegas show. And Las Vegas shows, it's all the hits. It's short too, right?

It's about an hour and 15 minutes. Yeah. They got to get you out of there to the buffet. Yeah. Hit the tables. You can't Bruce Springsteen it. You can't do like a three-hour long thing. And it just moves, moves, moves. And so it's great.

And so it's just, and it's all these hits, but it's all these songs, but it's just like, I forgot about this one. And it's cool just to see someone who knows exactly what they're doing. And it's just like,

this is really nothing to me, but I still love it. But it's just kind of that level of effortlessness that's just incredible. I think what's nice about it, too, is if you're going to see a show in Las Vegas, you want to see something that works in that context. Right. Which is to say you basically you want to see something gay. Sure.

And Diana Ross is an example of something that I would love to see that's very gay. Very gay. That would work beautifully in that context. Absolutely. I've always thought I would love to see Cher in Las Vegas, but I don't particularly like Cher's music. Cher seems like a cool, funny lady. Yes. I feel the same way about Bette Midler.

Yes. Bette Midler seems like such an awesome lady. I don't necessarily want to listen to her. She can sing. She's a great singer. Sure. I don't necessarily want to listen to her music. But, like, Diana Ross's music I actually like.

Yeah. No, it was. There wasn't a dud in the bunch. There was, like, you know, she's got a lot of, like, slow songs that you're not, like, I don't know if I want to hear that or whatever. But even that was just, like, you know, when she did, like, reach out and touch somebody's hand, everyone started putting their arms around each other. And I'm just like, hey, like, this is actually really nice. Yeah. Would you see a show of Cher where half of it is music and then half is just her composing tweets live?

I mean, I would definitely watch a show where half of it is Cher doing music, but with full production numbers. Sure. And half of it is her sparring with David Letterman. I would love her just like do a song and then she sits down and just tells some crazy fucked up story. Like I feel like the Quincy Jones interview just cracked open all these older icons that are like, oh, we can talk like that now? You know Cher has that. Oh, my God.

You know, like, Cher. She has so many stories. Cher did blow and punch James Caan at some point. Absolutely. At some point. Yeah. But she calls him Jimmy. Sure, she calls him Jimmy.

Yeah. And, like, there was probably, like, there was, like, a boys' night only at, like, the Playboy Mansion where they, like, James Caan, all the men would fuck each other. Sure. Boys Night only at the Playboy mansion where James Caan and other men would fuck each other. The whole thing of where Marlon Brando had sex with Richard Pryor and Marvin Gaye. It was just like, wait, hold on. And such a fantastic fact.

And I think my theory is that's why Paul McCartney was like, oh, I used to beat off with John. I think it's because of that Quincy Jones. Oh, yeah. I swear to God. Doors are You know, where he was just like, I think it's because of that Quincy Jones. Oh, yeah. I swear to God. Doors are open. Like, why wouldn't he have ever shared that before?

What a weird thing. Where it's just like, that's the one thing you don't share. I guess he had probably never been asked about his career with the Beatles. Right. People only want to talk about wings. Can we please talk about wings?

Will you please talk about your solo work from the late 80s and early 90s? What about that song you wrote for Destiny? Can we talk about your famous hayride? Does he have a hayride? I think it goes on the hayride in the Michael Jackson video. Girl is Mine. They go on a hayride together.

Was Girl is Mine or Say, Say, Say? Maybe it's Say, Say, Say. Okay. Not that who cares. But Girl is Mine is my preferred collabo. Way better song. Yeah. Way better song.

I think someone probably was like, hey, Paul McCartney, did you and the members of Wings ever jack off in a circle? Did you ever daisy chain it? And he was like, no, but it's interesting that you ask. One of my other bands. What? Yeah. You and the Traveling Wilburys.

Was he in there? Pete Best used to have me choke him while he fucked a horse. Pete Best left the band because he wouldn't beat off with us. I bet, I would think that within the career of the Beatles, in their seven years that they were operating or whatever. When they made all of the greatest American popular songs. It's too bad it never clicked. It never just went the distance that they could stay together. Right, right.

You know, like the Rolling Stones. I bet within that career there is so much sexual darkness. I bet there is so much mind-blowing shit. Yes. Probably some of it wild. I hope not, but probably some of it very upsetting. Yes. Genuinely evil, I think, is probably in. Perhaps evil as well. Yes. Probably some of it wild. I hope not, but probably some of it very upsetting. Yes. Genuinely evil, I think is probably evil as well. I don't think any of those people weren't evil. And I think at some point, and I think these are young men, too. I mean, if you're a young man,

and there are women that are just a stadium full of them screaming at you, like they're so in love with you. I mean, that's that's going to be a level of temptation for you that's just gross. Sure. I mean, it's really gross. I mean, I think that, like, he probably has one that he's like, well, I could tell the story of the time that David Bowie put a crawdad on my testicles. But I'm going to test the waters with this Jackoff story, see how it goes, and if they like it, they're getting the crawdadicles. Sure. But I'm going to test the waters with this Jack-Off story, see how it goes, and if they like it, they're getting the Crawdad one.

Yeah. And I think it was probably, I think, yeah, I think that the reaction to the Paul and I Jack-Off together was so that he probably will not be letting out the other stuff. Yes. There were just too many puns. There were just too many Beatles Jack-Off were just too many Beatles jack off puns. They were too easy. Anyway, we all had fun with that.

I think we can agree it was a cute story. It was cute. Maybe. It was innocent. Sure. You and a childhood buddy beating your meat together. I could see him. Weren't they just, wasn't part of it them just yelling out the names of actresses?

I don't know. I think that was part of it. Like one of them would just go, Brid names of actresses? I don't know. I think that was part of it. Like one of them would just go, Bridgette Bardot, and then everybody would start. I don't know if that's probably not. She's something else. Was it like a speed contest? Oh, I don't know. Or was it just like a happening, like a joint experience?

I don't think it was like a cookie party. Uh-huh. No. That's for folks listening. In England, they call it a biscuit party last person to share has to eat the cookie sure you beat off onto a cookie um i mean what am i telling you we all know what to do on easter sunday right well actually matt that's actually i know it's been a while i said to my dick i know it's been a while since you've been on the show

finishing last um but we uh you know usually at the end of the show we, like, take calls, but now we do that. Oh, that's lovely. It's kind of a new thing we've instituted since we've been here last. Yeah, and I already finished, so. Like 90 seconds ago. As soon as Jordan said Bridget Bardot, I was finished. Yeah, I finished as soon as I mentioned Ronan the Accuser. I feel like this is my main feeling about Paul McCartney.

Besides, he's, of course, one of our greatest songwriters. I saw him in Vegas. He's one of the legends I've seen. I saw him in Vegas. And my caring about the Beatles is like low-medium. I had my high school junior year thing where I felt like i had discovered them and then oh stopped got it uh but i yeah i mean i got weepy when he played blackbird it was beautiful it was fucking beautiful it's a gorgeous song legend i remember the first time i heard that song i think

i was in fourth grade in the car with my mom and it just came on the radio and i was it was one of those things like what is this song yeah it was just i, I remember the moment like frozen in time. It is such a gorgeous song. Yeah, absolutely. I think that Paul McCartney, whether or not he is our greatest rock star or our greatest songwriter of the 20th century

or the last 100 years or however you want to frame it, is our greatest popular musician at wearing Fair Isle sweaters. Now what's that? That's that kind of English or Scottish sweater that has the horizontal bands

of decoration that like a farmer in Yorkshire would wear. Now what's a Farrell sweater? I don't know. It's something that you may have made up just now. It's a domestic sweater that escaped and now lives outside.

Got it. Pick one up at the pound, by the way. Don't get your sweaters. Adopt a sweater, guys. There's too many sweaters. And also, can I say something else? When you get a virgin wool sweater, get it fixed.

Keep it a virgin. I mean, you know, when it fixed. Keep it a virgin. Keep it fixed. I mean, you know, when it comes to sweaters, especially rescue sweaters, who wore who, right? Yeah. I'm a bit biased. My cousin was brought down by a pack of feral sweaters. Oh, wow. Sorry to laugh.

He fought them off, but they just- But they did bring him down briefly. They linted him up real bad. Oh, wow. Yeah. I can only imagine the abrasions. Yes. Oh, scratchy, scratchy wool.

Yeah. Probably a Shetland, something like that. Wild feral Shetlands. A brushed Shetland, even. Man, did I tell you that I went to the zoo and I saw them shear a sheep? How'd that go? It was fucking amazing. There is a, the LA Zoo right now is having something, boy, it's not called a Flamingo Interlude, but I think.

I've seen that movie. Sure, yeah. You know, first time me and my friends jacked off together, we were watching Flamingo Interlude. Sure, Bridget Bardot in Flamingo Interlude. She's great in that. Yeah. watching sure bridget bardot and flamingo interlude she's great in that yeah uh and the flamingo interlude it's a thing where you go into their pen and feed them and i want to change the lingerie yeah and i want to do this but boy they smell bad that flamingo area always stinks so bad

but i want to feed them i don't know what to do guys you know my daughter was very afraid to feed a giraffe, which is her favorite animal. I've done that as well. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. You can stretch out that eucalyptus branch or whatever it is that they feed to them. Was she afraid of the giraffe or was she scared to be that high up in a tree? She was. Yeah.

Well, so first. You put her in. Right. And call the giraffe over to her. First, what they do is kind of bungee him on up into the branches. Pull him up on a cord like a water bucket. Well, there's a man up there who he'll grab on tight. Okay, good.

So that once they make it to the right height, he's got to kind of reach out and grab them by the shoulders. Sure, sure. Then they're kind of hanging there with their legs dangling in the air and he slides them back onto the branch. Oh, nice. That's nice. She was afraid because it's just too intense. It's just like a lot. It's a lot.

Giraffes are much larger than they should be. Yeah. And they have an unusual shape. Yeah. I'll say dead eyes too. Yeah. They look like they would like if they accidentally stepped on their young and killed it, they would not feel anything. Much less my young.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So she loved but she loves giraffes. That's her favorite animal. And it probably took eight visits to the zoo before she was willing to participate in the giraffe feeding. Oh, wow. And when she did, she found it to be transcendent.

They've got those long purple tongues. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. That curve around and grab stuff. Was that your experience? Yeah, it was a blast. The tongue is powerful. You can feel the tongue's power. Right. Grabbing the branch from you. Right. It's like an extra four bucks.

Best four bucks I ever spent. Yeah. Do you think, how do you think she would handle the flamingo interlude? I don't think she could handle the flamingo interlude. I think she would go wild. Possibly even buck wild. The stench you described, I think is overwhelming. Which, of course, we know is from sex.

It's from the flamingos having their interludes. They're the horniest of the land birds. So much fucking. You know, hence the expression, they fuck like flamingos. Yeah, sure. Just wild. Did you know that flamingos... That's why they're in Mighty Vice.

Flamingos' natural feather color is actually white, and it gets flushed from fucking. Sure. Yeah. It's all from red-faced exertion. Yeah, so if you see a white flamingo, it's just a virgin. Sure. Yeah. It's all from red-faced exertion. Yeah. So if you see a white flamingo, it's just a virgin.

Right. And then when they're pink, that's what we call JBFF, just been fucked feathers. Yes. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la I've switched from addressing you, Jordan, to you, the listener.

By all of the Maximum Fund members who go to MaximumFund.org. Those dirty motherfuckers. Are we still being nasty? Yeah, I'm as nasty as you want to be. Oh, cool. I want to be about a six or a seven. Oh, okay. I don't want to be that nasty tonight.

Okay. I'm tired. Okay. Do you mind calling me Miss Jackson? Well, well, well, well. Okay. Do you mind calling me Miss Jackson? Well, depending. We're also brought to you this week by our friends at the Zip Recruiter. Jordan, you know, I was just doing some hiring this past week. And do you feel like it was easy?

No, it's one of the hardest parts of running a business. I would say some of the other ones are numbers. That's hard. Facts and figures. Personal responsibility. That's a big challenge. There's a few different hard things about running a business, but one of them is finding qualified candidates for a job opening, and that's what's so special about ZipRecruiter.

ZipRecruiter doesn't just blast your job listing willy-nilly across the internet. They actually bring it to qualified candidates. And it's so effective that 80% of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Now, Jordan, I don't know if you know this, that's just 24 hours. Hey, I have something else. That's weird. It's weird that after you inhaled from that balloon, your voice didn't change. It was nitrogen, actually.

It was not helium. Got it. Am I going to die? Yes. Cool. You've got the bins. Yes. Hey, right now, ZipRecruiter, they're letting our listeners try for free.

Thanks, The Crute. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. It's the smartest way to hire, and you can try it for free. Yeah, ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. If you want to get up on the Jumbotron, share your message with Jordan Jesse Go's listeners, you can go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. If you want to buy some ads on Jordan Jesse Go, that's cool. Let's do it, baby.

Yeah. How about emailing? Stop being so uptight. Yeah. Get that stick out of your rear. Do some paid marketing. Email Kira at MaximumFun.org. K-I-R-A.

We'll be back in just a second on George S. Ego. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. Thank you, sir. Finally live in Portland. Mm-hmm. Yep, yep. You're a Portlander. I grew up there. Yep. And this is a nod to my hometown and also just, you know, I finally shot a special there kind of thing. And we did it the last year, 10th year of Bridgetown Comedy Festival,

which I co-founded, and in a former porn theater, the lovely Paris. Really? Yeah. A lot of history there. A lot of history. A lot of history. It was either a porn theater. If those walls could talk. theater, the lovely Paris. Really? Yeah. A lot of history there. A lot of history. A lot of history.

It was either a porn theater. If those walls could talk. Yes. Or barf. Or jizz. Yeah, it was a- Any of the big three. The ones, the excretions that count.

Yeah. I love travel, barfing, jizzing. I love travel barf jizz. Yeah. And it was a punk rock club as well when we were kids how about that? did you go?

no, it was one of those places like the Satyricon that we would trade stories about on the playground I heard a guy was peeing on the stage oh yeah, I heard they had a punk rock off what's that mean? this is literally what a kid told me

it's like when someone you can do the grossest thing stage, oh yeah, I heard they had a punk rock off. What's that mean? Like this is literally what a kid told me. What's that mean? It's like when someone, you can do the grossest thing, like a guy took a shit on a stage and he won, but then another guy ate it and he won. That's what a kid literally told me. Well, I mean, at least everybody won. Come on, we are... The true winner was the audience.

Let's be honest, to that show that certainly happened. That definitely happened. It would never have happened if it had shut down so fast by the health department. I was just in the great city of Portland, Oregon. Oh, by the way, my wife and her co-host Biz are hosting One Bad Mother this coming weekend. Cool. But I was just in the great city of Portland, Oregon. I played a venue called, doing Bullseye, I played a venue called Revolution Hall.

Ah, great, great joint. Which is a very bold name for what is definitely a high school auditorium. Sure. And now, were you there doing Bullseye or were you having a punk rock off? Yeah, well, we did a little of each. I mean, each time an NPR show does a live show, we conclude with a punk rock off. Yeah, when in Rome. Sure, yeah.

You burn it down. You burn it down and eat Peter Sagal's shit. Exactly. That's about to say. Also known as When in Rome. Sure, yeah. You burn it down. You burn it down and eat Peter Sagal's shit. Exactly. Also known as burning it down. Right, yeah. I wouldn't try and get into such a match with Sagal. No, yeah. You know Sagal's the, he's the master of filth.

Yeah, I mean, I call him. The Gigi Allen of NPR. I call him Mr. Sagal. That's how nasty he is. All right. How nasty I is? Yes, you is. I think I'm nasty, so I call him Mr. Sagal how nasty he is. All right. How nasty I is? Yes, you is. I think I'm nasty, so I call him Mr. Segal.

Sure, yes. Matt, where do people watch Finally Live in Portland? I'm so glad that Jim Gaffigan did what he did because I can basically say, same thing as Jim's, because it's just on a million platforms. Great. Other than Netflix, Comedy Central, Showtime. It's basically everywhere

else. iTunes, Amazon Prime, Google Play, Steam. Steam? Yeah, and it's going to be on the PS4. Wow. It's like Bloodborne.

Sure. Cool. The same machine that brings you Bloodborne. I had people going like the video game network and I'm like, I guess? Like I had to look up what Steam was. I watched it on my virtual boy. Nice. You look very good in red rasterized graphics.

Oh, cool. Thank you. I will say Matt Bronger is one of my favorite people to watch do stand-up comedy. You're so funny. Your specials are great. So yeah, definitely if people have those things, they should watch you on them. Thanks, man. It's just, you know, it's funny.

My last special, I talk about an ex almost the whole time. And this one, I talk about my fiance and it's the same woman, my wife. Wow. Yeah. So it's, I, I, uh, what a fun journey. Yeah. And, and the ones, the, the, my, my greatest hits, so to speak, are always kind of these outlandish stories that are just from my life. And I have one that took so long to tell.

It's literally two tracks on the album. And it's the story of taking mushrooms on the Fourth of July with my now wife and us kind of deciding, oh, this is something real. You guys are fun. We're fun, but it took a real dark turn. So you'd have to listen to it to get it. I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but your wife is Gladys Knight of Gladys Knight and the Pips. Sure.

Yes, of course. Yes. Do people know who Gladys Knight is? She's a little known singer. I mean, I think a lot of people know you from the Pips. Yes. Or know you as a Pip. As the last Pip.

Yes. The one white Pip. Yeah. Yes. Know you as a pip. As the last pip. Yes. The one white pip. Yeah. Yeah. And the one Portland pip. The one Portland pip. Yeah. Double P, they called me.

There had previously been a Portland main pip. Sure. Right. But that was quite some time ago. That guy was a washout, that dude. Yeah. He ended up leaving. But before we move on, I think we should issue a correction.

Yeah. Okay. up leaving before we move on i think we should issue a correction yeah okay um and this is uh via our producer brian uh sunny d fernandez who's who's a great producer and it's it's times like this that you're glad he's a he's a good producer let's brian sunny d fernandez is a producer yeah we can all agree we can all agree on that a producer yeah of this show. Yeah. Have I said anything wrong? Calling this a show seems strong. He is a producer of this. Yeah.

This thing. Nice. But, I mean, this is one of the reasons that I'm so glad we have Brian around, because I, at the top of the show, said that Matt was our only guest who was part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And I. We forgot Daredevil. We forgot.

That time we had Daredevil. Ben Affleck was on. Ben Affleck, yes. Steve Agee. Yeah, he was in Guardians. Steve Agee of Force as Groot. He was a ravager. Yeah.

He was one of those guys. He was a space pirate. I always think of Ben Affleck as being part of the View Askewiverse. Oh, boy. It's one of Ben Affleck as being part of the View Askewiverse. Oh, boy. It's one of my favorite extended universes. Yeah, sure. Where are those kooky cats going to go to next? I'd watch a movie about kooky cats, though.

That does sound kind of fun. Part of the View Askewiverse. Yeah. So last week on the show, we up with um an interesting conundrum yeah um and that was and i forget how we arrived at this yeah i mean i i just to fill you in man it's a rule we don't know what's happened on our show got it yeah when certain phrases stick out sure prank bear for instance yeah how did that come up who knows yeah there's no literally no way to find out i mean i think prank bear specifically came up when bay side-eyed the tree right yes of course another famous

jordan jesse go nonsense phrase uh but we we were wondering if we have more listeners and i think we kind of know our listeners and matt you've been podcasting a while so i think you you know just based on you know interacting online and people who kind of come up to you you've been able to kind of like you know uh estimate a kind of a character of your typical listener uh-huh and you know and i think obviously we have people from all across the spectrum, people all over the world, older people, younger people. I mean, if you want to talk walks of life, you're going to have to talk about all of them. Sure. Don't single out particular walks of life.

Sure. That would be wrong. Unless you're singing that song, The Walk of Life. By Dire Straits. Yeah. Sure. But, you know, I think we kind of know who the mean jordan jesse go listener is by mean i mean average not cruel yes um the mean uh jordan jesse go

listener is i can't think of a good example of a mean person ronan the accuser yeah he was a real meanie yeah i mean because i mean obviously like i don't mean to suggest that our listeners are mean because um i mean you know from my t-shirt that i think mean people suck yeah exactly and i do what the voices in my head tell me to yep uh so i think we were jordan jesse go weird you gotta keep it weird um so we were wondering if we have more listeners who have A, been on Jeopardy, or B, are named Dabney. And let's be clear. So when we say are named Dabney, we're including people whose nickname is Dabney. Okay.

People whose middle name is Dabney. Right. People whose surname is Dabney. Okay. Any name is Dabney, people whose surname is Dabney, any name that is a real name, if Dabney was their milk name and they grew up in a culture where you choose your own name when you come of age and they chose a name other than Dabney, that's also fine. Dabney was their confirmation name if they're Catholic. We welcome Catholic Dabneys. St. Dabney. We welcome White Pips and Catholic Dabney was their confirmation name. Yeah. If they're Catholic. Sure. We welcome Catholic Dabneys.

St. Dabney. We welcome white pips and Catholic Dabneys. I forgot which one the saint was. If they were for a time a nun and their nun name was Sister Dabney. Sister Dabney. Even if that wasn't their birth name. Sister Dabney. If it was your roller derby name.

Yeah. And also, I mean, I'm adding this in. Derby Dabney. That's got a nice ring. I'm adding this in. Your name does not technically have to be Dabney if you were in the movie 9 to 5 with Dabney Coleman. Well, that's the thing. I am going to lean towards people who have been on Jeopardy.

A, I think you have a higher intelligent level of listener, generally speaking. Yeah. God knows how. We probably have the highest intelligent level. I think they like to listen to something that feels superior. Yeah, don't they? Of course. And also because I know for a fact that there is only one Dabney, and that's Dabney Coleman.

Yes. Because he is known to hunt down and kill other Dabneys. It's like a Highlander situation. Oh, absolutely. There can be only one. That's when Highlander was pitched, the executives were like, what, like what Dabney Coleman does? They're like, no, no, no.

Our guy's eternal. He's a Scottish sword fighter. Unless they cut their heads off. He's a Scottish sword fighter. And it's like, oh, yeah, of course, because Dabney Coleman has shot other Dabneys, stabbed other Dabneys, thrown other Dabneys off of cliffs. What does he do to other character actors who are known for being bald and having a mustache? Just strong looks. Okay.

Don't think of calling yourself Dabney. Hey, my name's Greg, Mr. Coleman. Greg. Let's keep it that way. All right. It's just me, Stephen Tobolowsky with a mustache. I probably had one of those. Yeah.

It's me, Wallace Shawn with a mustache. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I'm leaning toward Jeopardy as well. I think so. Because, yeah, I mean, I think we have a smart audience. I think we have a trivia-loving audience. And I think we've got an audience that's maybe a little horny for Alex Trebek and wants any excuse to get close to him. I've been to – as part of two of your events, a MaxFunCon on land and one on sea.

And the one on sea was in conjunction with Scientology, obviously. Of course, yes. The Sea Org. The Sea Org. The Sea Org. And they needed some laughs, especially the people working in the basement. Yeah, I don't know if you guys have read Dianetics, but it's not a hoot. No. It's really informative.

Neither is going clear. No. That book is brutal. Also not a hoot. Our thing, just to clarify, because I don't want people... Ours was like a geek spin-off of Scientology called The Sea Orc. Ah, nice. Sure, sure.

Yes, of course. We address it as orcs that are sailors. But jokes aside, like the people that I met were not only very kind and very fun, they seemed very smart. There wasn't like a dolt in the bunch other than myself. No dolts allowed. Not a lot of doltage, you know, male or female. So, Brian, I think we have a – do we have a call that is going to help us get to the bottom of this? Brian, actually – so we've given Brian permission.

And this was – I mean, I'm honestly – I'm going to be honest with you, Jordan. Please. And I might as well be honest with you, Jordan. Please. And I might as well be honest with you, Matt. Finally. And if I'm going to be honest with the two of you, I better be honest with our at-home audience. Great. I have some qualms about this decision. Got some concerns about this.

Not that I didn't approve it. I stamped it approved, just like Jordan did. But we've allowed Brian to arm his microphone today. Normally, when you hear Brian, which our listeners do far too much, it's because he can't control his bodily functions, and he laughs so loud that it pierces the walls of the recording studio. And we've allowed, but Brian, there is a microphone out there that Brian has been given permission to use. Yeah, we normally don't turn this one on. So that's Brian Fernandez, Sonny D. Fernandez, our producer on the program,

our ever-capable, to some extent, producer, Brian Fernandez. He's got a winning attitude. There's no doubt about that. Brian, what have we learned so far? So we were taking calls about this, and we were also asking people to email us and tweet at us. So what kind of feedback did we get? Yeah, we got a lot of calls of people who have been on Jeopardy, one four-time champ, a couple college Jeopardy, or just one college, and two sports Jeopardys. Now that surprises me.

I did not see sports Jeopardy, or just one college and two sports Jeopardys. Now that surprises me. I did not see sports Jeopardy coming. You don't think that people who are nerdy sports encyclopedias have a reason to listen to this show? You don't think they identify with one of the hosts? Who's? The people who are sports trivia encyclopedias? But it's not sports trivia. Huh?

Sports Jeopardy, it's feats of strength and skill. Oh, right, yes. That you somehow phrase in the form of a question physically. They renamed a lot of interpretive dance involved. I thought it was sports greats doing just questions about Shakespeare or whatever. Right, yeah. It's just Dan Marino. What is a winter's tale?

I saw that episode. Yeah, no, Joe Namath wouldn't shut the fuck up about Ibsen. Yeah, great. I know, a rope on the No. Ah, Joe Namath wouldn't shut the fuck up about Ibsen. Yeah. Yeah. Great. I know. A rope on the ground. You love real theater.

This getting to know you segment is supposed to be like 10 seconds long. You're talking about Ibsen for 20 minutes. It's insane. There's only three minutes of game time. Cut him off, Trebek. Cut him off. They're intimidated. Yeah.

You know, Trebek's sitting there with these drunk athletes, very physically strong, even for their age. Steffi Groff was extremely inebriated. Oh, she broke her podium. Yeah. Broke it. So, yeah, do we have this call lined up, Brian? Oh, yeah. Okay.

So someone called in with a very particular challenge, I think, to last week's caller. This actually came up because last week we had a caller who called in and said he was about to be on Jeopardy. Oh, right. Teacher Jeopardy. Okay. I don't think that quite counts, but we'll note it. Yeah.

Hey, guys. This is Matthew from Miami. I'm a regular listener of the show show and I'm sitting in my classroom listening to the show right now and I just heard what is now hopefully last week's show where Joe from Paulsville, Washington called in and said that he got a call from Culver City saying

he was going to be on the Jeopardy! Teachers Tournament. I have not been a Jeopardy! contestant yet, as you asked for, but I got that very same call last week as well. So that means Joe and I are both going to be on the Teachers Tournament this year, which means that two of the 15 people this year we're going to appear in the tournament are JJ Go listeners, which I think is pretty cool.

On a related note, I took the chance to look it up, and according to the J Archive, there has never been a contestant on Jeopardy named Dabney. I was a little heartbroken to discover that. But yeah, so Joe, I will see you in Culver City in April. This is amazing. Wow. Gauntlet thrown down. This is genuinely miraculous. I love that that was the Jordan Jessico listener version of Trash Talk.

Pleasant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, well, I took Jesse, go listener version of trash talk. Pleasant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, well, I took some time to check out the Jeopardy wiki. We'll see who buys who for ice cream. Huh? I'm going to buy ice cream. Yeah. Dibs.

I'm going to steal your hot tea when you're not looking and then replace it with a more expensive hot tea. Let's hold hands and check out interesting historical places on the lot. Alex, what is We're Best Friends? And then they just gentle kisses. And then just gentle kisses for the rest of the round. God, that would be a great episode of Jeopardy. It would be good. I will say that, I mean,

obviously... We've had... Louis Vertel was on Jeopardy. Yeah, we've had a guest who's on Jeopardy. Past guest on Jordan Jesse Go. Louis Vertel not only was Louis on Jeopardy, he, we've had a guest who's on Jeopardy! Past guest on Jordan Jesse Go, Louis Vertel, not only was Louis on Jeopardy, he got a Daily Double right and did snaps and became a legendary gif. Now, Matt, I mean, I think you're

probably the expert in this. I don't know if this kind of messes with our metrics at all, but is Jeopardy part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe? I don't know. Okay. I don't know if they did what, you know, they had what, like the comic book, if this is DC, where Superman fought Muhammad Ali. I don't know okay i don't know if if they they did well you know they they had a what were like the comic book if this is dc but where superman fought muhammad ali i don't know if a superhero actually went on like professor heck professor x went on jeopardy and just won

everything like you can read our minds stop it it's probably this is not fair you probably have to uh engage cerebro before you go on jeopardy to make it fair i just got a text from firestorm the nuclear man he says he was on celebrity jeopardy but he it fair. I just got a text from Firestorm the Nuclear Man. He says he was on Celebrity Jeopardy, but he lost to Mark McGrath. Mark's got just a strong mind, though. He does, and a fast buzzer finger, too. Yeah. But I do want to point out,

because obviously we're having a lot of fun with this, this is a great little coincidence. I should hope that, because we have two listeners on Jeopardy, that someone at some point makes a JJ Go reference on screen. So, I mean, hopefully. Yeah, like, you know how Lin-Manuel Miranda goes on television 20 times a year and does a little thing that means my brother, my brother, and me?

Yeah. We want one of those. We want one of those. On Jeopardy. What's the secret signal, though? I think it's like when you pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time. Is that too hard? It's hard for some people.

We've got to wait until you're on camera. I think if they're just like, prank bearer. Oh yeah. Something like that where it's just get something into the mic. This is the teacher's tournament. What if they say that they can't bear pranks? That's really easy. That's really easy. You can work that into anything.

It fits right in. The listeners will know. Just ask me a question, like a job interview question. So why did you leave your last job? Can't bear pranks. It works. There you go. It works perfectly. It makes sense.

Hashtag prank bear. And he's like, oh, got to go. And then leave and then run out of the studio. Someone pranked you on the job. That was something that happened. Yep, it was a bear. Well, our second contestant. So you like to run, Claude.

He doesn't want to get caught in another. I'm not going to talk to you anymore. He doesn't want to get caught in another Namath situation. He's not wrong to move along. Yeah, yeah. But I will point out that something did bother me about this call, even though we are having a lot of fun with this. I think our caller was saying that he is listening to Jordan and Jesse go in class.

Yeah, that's because they run it over the PA system in the school. Yeah. Well, I never approved this as a teaching tool. Oh, okay. Do you have concerns about it as a teaching tool, or is it just about the licensing fee? Yeah, I mean, the licensing fee is very different. Right. So, you know.

You mean for educational or non-commercial educational and commercial use? Yeah, the show is free for entertainment use. But if you're going to use it to educate, which you should be. You should. I mean, there's no cursing. The subject matter is all, you know, very middle of the road. This is like VHS tapes of the voyage of the Mimi. If you're buying it for a school, you're going to have to pay $100 a piece.

Yeah. So send us $100. Speaking of Ben Affleck, by the way. One of his greatest roles. Probably his single greatest role. Yeah. Also part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Okay.

So Brian. And involving a cookie party. Brian, what was the final total in our Jeopardy! Champions versus People people named Dabney in the Jordan Jesse go audience. Okay. So we had 12 total Jeopardy contestants and two, I just for context, Matt,

just so you know, we have 53 listeners. So pretty good. Incredible. Pretty good. Well, that 12 is including the guy who went on local access Portland Jeopardy, who wasn't sure if it was officially licensed as Jeopardy. He knows it's not real Jeopardy.

That's not real. So it could, it's like 11. Matt's from Portland. He knows. When they do the public access version, it's very subtle, the difference. It's Jeopardy? There's a question mark at the end. Yeah.

So that would be 11 in that guy. Also, there's a bunch of vegan strippers. Sure. It's Portland for you. And then we had the two future Jeopardy champions, or players, and then one Dabney call,

if you guys want to hear that. Yeah, let's hear this Dabney call. Yes. Is it the real Dabney Coleman from the movie 9 to 5? Also Tootsie? Hey, Jordan and Jesse, I am answering your call. Sounds different. My sister's name is Dabney.

It is a weird name. You're right, it doesn't sound like a name. I think she was named after a basketball player. Is that who the other Dabney was you were talking about? I wouldn't know. It's actually kind after a basketball player. Is that who the other Dabney was you were talking about? I wouldn't know. It's actually kind of a weird story. My mom, her name was Carol, but her middle name was Diane. She married my father, Dan.

And then for some reason, she decided that she needed every single person in our family to be named starting with a D. So she dropped her name when they got married, and she became Diane. I don't know why. And, yeah, now Dabney. I'm also Dan. And my sister is Darcy, which is also a very strange D name. Yeah, so my sister's name is Dabney. My mom's a little bit crazy.

And none of us have ever been on Jeopardy. Alright, thanks a lot. Bye. Kind of became a tragedy in the end. Sure did, yeah. It took a turn. Started as a comedy and became a tragedy. Just like the United States of America. Wow.

Oof. Well, shout out to the Big Ds. Too soon. Big Ds. Great family. Yeah. This Well, shout out to the Big Ds. Too soon. Big Ds. Great family. Yeah. This caller, I mean, good information. He kind of sounded like a fun guy. He did sound like a fun guy. He did sound cool.

Matt, have you thought about inviting him into your marriage? Because you and your wife are so fun? We're not. Have you been looking for a third fun person? No. No, we're fine. We're fine. Just the two of us. We haven't, you know, kind of gone that route yet.

I think maybe when we're much, much older, because that's, I mean, that's who you want to have a threesome with, a very old couple. Oh, well, I guess I was not maybe necessarily suggesting that it be sexual. I thought maybe he could just go to Vegas with you guys, eat wings on the bed. Oh, then we have thirds and fourths and eighths. Yeah, people can come. You guys seem very open-minded. Oh, then we have thirds and fourths and eighths. Oh, wow. Sure. Yeah, people can come. You guys seem very open-minded. Yeah, to fun. Sure.

And hangs. And where it is not appropriate to eat wings. Sure, exactly. Normally, you might do it on a veranda or something. Right, or a table. Yeah. On the bed. Sure.

We're fun. Why not? I eat all my wings in the tub. Oh, table. Yeah. On the bed. Sure. We're fun. Why not? I eat all my wings in the tub. Light a few candles. Turn off the... A little me time. Exactly. Just get a bunch of tiny paper plates and put a wing per plate and just let them all

float like lily pads. Yeah, God. That's beautiful. I just think it sounds nice. It's fucking gorgeous. It sounds nice. Wherever I'm eating them, I like to be hidden. Oh, really?

Like Easter eggs. Uh-huh. Nice. People are like, where are these bones coming from? Sure, why does it smell like blue cheese in here? What's under that tarp? They say. It's me.

We should explain that you usually eat them anywhere, but typically you eat them in rooms that are currently being painted. Yes. Right. The fumes. I love it. Tarps available at all times. It's nice to have a nice fever dream. Yeah, you get a little buzz from the fumes, have some wings.

Yeah. Great Saturday night. Sure. Who needs a wife to have fun? Maybe you do, but some of us are a little more creative. Great Saturday night. Sure. Who needs a wife to have fun? Maybe you do. But some of us are a little more creative. It's true. It's true. Anyway.

I'm a creative. Did you know that? I did know that. Do you know what that means? You create things. No, it just means you write ad copy. Oh. I think it means you write ad copy. Oh, okay. Is that what it is? Okay. Cool. I'm an ad ninja. Oh, wow. Wow. Sorry, I? Okay, cool. I'm an ad ninja. Oh, wow. Wow. Sorry, I don't go by those.

That's cool. Fuddy-duddy terms. I'm a mobisode. Oh, that's fun. That's a good word. So, man, I think we figured it out. We have far more Jeopardy! contestants than we do Dabney's. And even this guy, I mean, it doesn't sound like his sister even listens to the show.

To that man, hide your sister from Dabney Coleman, please. Oh, yeah. Now that he knows. Even now he's on the hunt. He's putting on a face paint like Rambo right now. Somewhere I hear the sound of his blade sharpening on a whetstone. So Dabney Coleman actually has a lot of the technology that the Predator does. So just watch

all the Predator movies, figure out how they dealt with him in those, and then apply those techniques to defeating Dabney Coleman. And he uses that technology just randomly. I worked on a show, and he was in the room the whole time. He just appeared, and we're like, shit! Right. And the director's like, fucking Dabney, stop it, man.

Stop it with that shit. A menacing laugh. And they'd work together. It turns out they'd work together on an episode of WKRP in the late 70s. Exactly. Yeah. When he was still developing that technology of going invisible and shooting lasers from his head.

Cloaking. Cloaking. Man, that really freaked the shit out of Dolly Parton when they were making 9 to 5 on television. She hated it. She would just be like, I grew up with no running water and no indoor bathroom in the mountains of Tennessee.

I'm the sweetest girl you could ever meet and I love to hand out books to children. Ah, fuck! There's fucking Daphne Coleman again. Daphne, stop it. Good predator noise, Matt. Thanks. I'm a fan.

I'm just a fan. No, sure. But there is that great scene in 95 where Dolly Parton covers herself in mud and makes those, sharpens those spikes. Yeah. Yeah. And then starts a bonfire to blend in with what Schwarzenegger doing right there. Well, I think he, what was going on there in that pivotal scene in the Predator was

that he, the Predator hunts, you know, he has that thermal scope. So he's looking for heat signatures. So I think when he covered himself in mud, he was hiding from the heat signatures. Sure. But then the fire attracted the Predator. So then he was able to get the drop on him. Oh, I see. Okay.

Gotcha. So, yeah. God, sorry. Spoilers for Predator. Yeah. I mean, I kind of bummed about that. You haven't seen Predator by now. This show kind of started out as a comedy.

If people haven't seen that movie by now, I mean, look, I know it. We all know it. It's a romantic classic, and you want to wait to meet the right person to watch it for the first time. No, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like sex after marriage for some people. Ended up as a tragedy.

I'm going to wait to fall in love watching Predator. I'm sorry. I guess I'm... I know. Yes, we've heard it. You're a modern-day satirist. Well, hey. So Dabney mystery solved.

Brian, do we have regular calls? Should we take a break? What's a name that we could put up against Jeopardy contestants? Oh, right. So, yeah. Bronson? Hmm? Bronson. So, yeah. Bronson? Hmm?

Bronson? Do we have more Bronsons? Yeah. There's no one named Bronson. Yeah. What about Bronson Pinchot? What about Bronson Arroyo, the baseball pitcher? You're welcome, Sports Jeopardy! contestants.

Okay. I stand corrected. I think there's probably going to be more Bronsons than Dabneys. Yeah, but you think that less than there are. I would say more Dabneys than Bronsons. Interesting. That'd be my guess. Here's what I think.

What about Bartleby the Scrivener? I think that. There's only one. I think that Dabney was probably hit its zenith in popularity around like, you know, the 20s or 30s. Yeah. I bet it's a, you know the 20s or 30s yeah right i bet it's a you know depression era name i bet it like a like a like a fancy boy during the great depression absolutely called it absolutely yeah um so yeah i think it probably just you know went out of vogue so maybe there's some older people who are named dabney who maybe don't listen to podcasts. But I do think we probably have some Bronsons. You think we've got a

few Bronsons? I think we can muster 15 Bronsons to beat the Jeopardy! contestants. And we're including people whose last name is Bronson. Charles Bronson's a listener. Oh, yeah. That's great. And whose first name is Bronson. Bronson Arroyo from the Red Sox is the picture.

Action Bronson, the rapper. Oh, yeah. Action Bronson, Bronson Arroyo from the Red Sox is the picture. Action Bronson, the rapper. Action Bronson. So anybody. Sure. Yeah, whether your Bronson is your given name, your rap name. If we're counting Action Bronson, should we also automatically count Ghostface Killa? Where's the Bronson

connection? Oh, because of the rap style. The poor man's Ghostface Killa. Good point. Yeah, it took me a second. I got it. Yeah. Yeah, I think first and last name. Okay, let's hear from the Bronsons. Yeah, you can email us, jjgoatmaximumfund.org, or you can call us at 206-9844-FUND.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, quality, or content with in-studio guests and callers from all over the world. And you can win a custom magnet. A custom magnet. Subscribe now to make sure you get our next episode. What's an example of a game, Manolo? Pokemon or medication. How do you play that? You have to guess if something's a Pokemon name or medication. First time listener, if you want to listen to episode highlights

and also know how to participate, follow Dr. Game Show on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. We'd love to hear from you. Yeah, it's really fun. want to listen to episode highlights and also know how to participate follow dr game show on facebook instagram and twitter we'd love to hear from you it's really fun for the whole family we'll be every other wednesday starting march 13th and we're coming to max fun snorlax pokemon yes La, la, la, la. We're just a couple of doofuses from Canada. And listen to our show or perish. Stop podcasting yourself on MaximumFun.org. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you.

It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Matt Bronger, formerly Dr. Samberley. Matt Bronger, by the way, brand new comedy special. It's called Finally Live in Portland. You can get it on almost any platform. Yep.

Talking about Steam. Mm-hmm. Talking about Philips 3DO. PlayStation 4. Sure. PlayStation Vita. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but it would look great on the Vita.

It would. It would look good on that. What were those tiny DVDs that went in PSPs? Oh, yeah, UMDs. Yeah, you could probably get it on UMD, right? Sure. Yeah, that's the new thing. The format that the director intended.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. You can get it on the Ultra Magnetic MCs if you want to. There you go. Cool. Keith will give it to you. Sure. Ego trip.

When something momentous happens to you, like you're hosting a podcast and your voice is starting to go, 206-984-4FUN is the number to call, or you can always email us your voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org. Here is the first such example within this episode of the program. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and possible guest. This is Aaron in Menlo Park. I just, on a momentous occasion of my computer, had become infected by a cockroach colony, apparently, and I had to figure out how to disassemble it

and get that out of there so I could fix or get someone to fix my keyboard without lighting it on fire, which about 95% of the time is what I was pretty sure I was going to do. And I just successfully got everything out. There was only dead things in my computer, which makes me a little sick, but could have been a lot worse. Hit the streets. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I didn't know stuff can live inside your computer. Oh, yeah, it can thrive. Oof.

Cockroaches, what they do. Thrive fucking Kaiser Permanente and that shit. Sure. I think the thing with cockroaches is that they're adaptive. You know, I think, you know, the thing you hear is true. Like, after the A-bombs go off, the cockroaches will be here and they'll be thriving. And I think what happened is... Wait, thriving?

Like fucking Kaiser Permanente? Like Kaiser Permanente, who are not sponsoring this show, but who should? Because we're encouraging people to thrive. Allison Janney, call us. Is Allison Janney the spokesperson for Kaiser Permanente? Yeah. How did he know the roaches were in his computer? Did he open them up and they spilled out like the last story in Creepshow?

Yeah, maybe. But yeah, I mean, I think what has happened here is that these cockroaches have learned to thrive, Kaiser Permanente, off of porn signals. Allison Janney. I think that what's happening is that every time he's looking at porn, the cockroaches are feeding off of all that energy. Oh, wow. And I think that's, yeah, that's probably how they're going to destroy us.

These horny cockroaches. Horny for technology. Yeah, I know. Don't let them near that PlayStation Vita. You know what? I knew, Matt, that cockroaches like to eat corn chips. Oh. But did you know that they like to eat silicon chips?

No, I did not. Wow. Yeah, boy, it makes you think. Just like the United States. All right, we get it you're america's greatest satirist yeah i'm a gifted satirist as an observational comic you wouldn't understand good job good job have you thought about doing some of this in front of a green screen oh god yes like maybe like play a clip of fox news and then you say your famous catchphrase

jordan i'm starting i'm starting a new show where I sit at a desk and like Kellyanne Conway and either kid or play. All those yahoos. Are kid and play pundits now? Republican pundits? I'm just trying to think of people who would be on real time with Bill Maher. Oh, okay. Sure.

And then I light into one of my signature rants. You kind of hear them laughing offstage because they too are proud of themselves. Sure. Yes. Yes. Well, I mean, I've often heard you describe yourself as another Dennis Miller. Yeah. It's kind of your thing.

Right. Yeah. Another thing. I'm another. I'm kind of another Dennis Miller. I'm not a better Dennis Miller, but I'm. I'm another one. I'm another one. I'm another one. I'm a second Dennis Miller. I'm not a better Dennis Miller, but I'm. I'm another one. Another one.

I'm another one. I'm a second Dennis Miller. It's a sometimes Dennis Miller's book. It's a type of thing. Yeah. I mean, a lot of times when you go to see Dennis Miller at the Pechanga Casino, it's actually just Jesse. Yep. Yep.

And people are fine with it. They love it. Other times it's John Lovitz and no one notices. Are you a master satirist? I am. Great. We're fine. We love being here at the Pachanga Casino.

I don't want the $50 back for this ticket. Yeah. Hey, as long as the rants are quality, baby. Exactly. You're not there for the personality or the pizzazz. You're there for the rants. These are rant fans. Okay, cha-cha.

Yeah. You're to be called cha-cha. Mm-hmm. And to hear two things juxtaposed, a high culture thing and a low culture thing. Yeah. They're here to be called cha-cha. Mm-hmm. And they hear two things juxtaposed, a high culture thing and a low culture thing. Exactly. Not since the something something went to something. Right. Yeah.

Remember when he was the color commentator on Monday Night Football? I do. It did happen for a while. What the fuck was that about? Yeah. And he'd use like Glenn Ross phrases. Yeah. Coffee's for closers.

And everyone's like, what the fuck is he talking about? What is this? What does it even mean? I've only read the play. I haven't seen the movie. And you don't close a touchdown. Yeah. It's just something you do.

Boy, was that Jughead or the Hanging Gardens of Babylon? What is that even? What is that? That's a strange comparison. That was Bazooka. It was obviously Bazooka Joe. All I saw was a flag on the play, Dennis. What did you see?

I haven't been watching. Rush Limbaugh is in the studio for some reason at this point in Monday Night Football history. Let's cut to Rush. Yeah. I'm going slowly crazier. Dr. Laura's here. Oh, boy. Does this...

God, I guess this opens up the possibility, this call opens up the possibility that anything we own could be infested with scum. You know what would be disgusting? Cockroaches, I consider them scum. If you got cockroaches inside your lowrider's custom horn. That would be the worst. So when it played La Cucaracha, actual. Yeah, they spilled out. Actual roaches came out.

That'd be pretty awesome. Yeah. You know, I actually think it would be awesome. I think you'd have to laugh, you know? You played it on your phone, you know? Yeah. Like, you know, on YouTube or Apple Music or something, and just roaches come spilling out of your docking link, you know?

I mean, I think our caller is probably a little bit bummed, but hey, at least they weren't scorpions. That's true. That is a good point. That's true. At least they weren't scorpions. I found a nest of scorpions. That's much worse. In my Xbox. Porn-hung't scorpions. That's true. That is a good point. That's true. At least they weren't scorpions. I found a nest of scorpions in my Xbox. Porn-hungry scorpions.

How did you even get in there? Don't know. You got a nest? Yeah. There was a real-life dragon inside my virtual boy. Well, it's time to get rid of that virtual boy, Jesse. Hell no. I'm trying to watch Matt Bronger's special.

And there's damn dragons in the way. And play a Wario game. Starring Wario. He's rasterized. Is that the process of... Isn't that those... That kind of graphics with those red or green lines? Is that rasterized?

It makes sense to me. It seems like that what that is. Please don't tell me what it is if that's not what it is. No clue what that is. We can all look that up. You know what I'm talking about. When you play Star Wars at the arcade. Okay. You know, it's like what it is. No clue what that is. We can all look that up. You know what I'm talking about. Like when you play Star Wars at the arcade. Okay.

You know, it's like the green lines. It's like a wireframe. Oh, yeah, okay. I just never knew there was a name for it. I think that's rasterized. Wow. Wario looks great like that. By the way, I went to...

He always looks great. I think we can all agree. I went to UC Santa Cruz, blew a fatty, and got rasterized. Hey, been there. Hear me now. I have been there. Little boy now! I have been there. Real boy. We have another call?

Yeah. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. My name is Joe, and I'm from Canada, but me and my mom are in New York. Can you pause it? I really, truly thought he was going to say, my name is Joe, and I work in the button factory. What's the rest of that?

I don't remember. My children fucking, oh, my God. There was a period where my children, like a two-week period where my children wouldn't stop saying it. You'd think that I would remember what happens after he works in the button. Oh, and I have two arms, and I go like this. And then you do something, and then you do a chop or a punch or something. That doesn't sound right. Huh.

Sounds fun. You guys want to do that? Yeah. It sounds kind of like that Nintendo Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game. Hmm. Is that what you're thinking of? In what way? This guy is going insane.

You know that, right? The person listening to it is like, play the rest of my fucking call. Stop talking about the Ninja Turtle games. I feel bad for him. They have the two arms and they do chops and punches. Yeah, I don't... I think we're talking about different things.

I was at the flea market earlier today. Wow. Okay. Let's play the rest of the call. Someone was selling... Matt, somebody was selling a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles yarmulke. Okay. It was homemade. Sure. It wasn't officially sponsored?

It had four panels. Well, it wasn't made out of like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles licensed textile. Sure. Like you might make a, you know. But they made it for. It was a plain yarmulke that had been decorated with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles professionally. Wow. But not on a mass scale.

Sure. But there was four panels and one of them had something written in Hebrew, maybe the person who wore its name or something like that. The other three were three of the Ninja Turtles. Which one was missing? Leonardo was missing. Oh, that's a bad call. You've got to have Leonardo. No leader.

This is just a yarmulke with no leader. But do you think that you get that yarmulke when you kill Leonardo and assume his leadership role? Oh, maybe. Well, it's just like when you write the name of the true golem in the golem's head and it comes to life. Of course. We all know the story.

Sure. Once you complete the Leonardo We all know the story. Sure. Once you complete the Leonardo, you become the Leonardo. And you are animated. Anyway, let's get back to the call. I'm sure he's calling about that, Yamaka. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. My name is

Joe, and I'm in my factory in New York to see To Kill a Mockingbird and Hamilton on Broadway. And we were And I work in a button factory. from Canada, so that was unusual for us. So she went up to someone to ask if that was normal, and my mom and I walked right into a drug deal, and a man with a very maxi mustache told her, yeah, that happens all the time, and we shouldn't be worried about it. So we quickly ran away from that.

Thanks. Have a good day. Love you. Bye. Love you too. Ciao. Was the question should he have tried to buy drugs? I mean probably I mean you know You don't want to deal with that shit up in Canada

No It's inferior shit baby We're in the good old US of A So you think the nugs are kinder Oh yeah Kinder Danker In Times Square

than they are in Vancouver. Oh, yeah. I mean, have you... That's not true. Have you blazed those Regina nugs? Last time I was in Vancouver, I was going through a park and there were people just selling weed on carts and in little tents.

And it was kind of a little gathering. Oh, yeah? And it's totally illegal. I mean, it's legal to sell it. But you can't just be out in the streets selling them like apples. But these guys were. You've got to coat them in caramel first. Like apples. Yes, exactly.

The cops were just walking by and going, all right. Come on. No more of that. Come on, guys. And just kept walking. You know better. Guys. We're really disappointed in you. We're not mad. We're disappointed. We're disappointed in you. We thought you know better. Guys. We're really disappointed in you. We're not mad.

We're disappointed. I'm disappointed in you. We thought you knew better. We're punishing you with our disappointment. Can I ask you a quick question, Matt? Mm-hmm. Do you have a lot of experience buying apples from carts in the park? As a time traveler?

Or as a man who's 1,000 years old? Yeah. I got to decide. I mean, playing a character who was alive in the 40s, you probably did a little time travel to research the character. Of course, of course, yeah. You have to these days. You went back, grabbed some card apples.

Back when you were working as a matchmaking street urchin. Yes. And an artful dodger, stealing apples. When you were a scrivener. After you, the scrivener. Sworn enemy of Bartleby, the scrivener. Sure. Stealing apples. When you were a Scrivener. Mm-hmm. Yes. Matthew the Scrivener. Yes. Sworn enemy of Bartleby the Scrivener.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. The rival Scrivener. So sick. Like, we get caught up in these battles. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I feel like we all just need to get back to what really matters, which is, I want to

say, copying books. Hard to say. Is that what Scriveners do? They're just like, yeah, I mean, I think they're typesetters. How do you know what that is? What is a Scrivener? I mean, how was Hamilton? I think we all want to know. How was Hamilton?

To kill a mockingbird. Also, what's Hamilton? I've never heard of it. Not familiar. Someone tell me about it. It's about some kind of kitchen appliance, I think. Oh, yeah. It's that toaster musical.

It's a toaster musical. Love those toaster musicals. It's a show about the Canadian Football League. Is there a Hamilton connection there? Isn't Hamilton a city in Canada? I don't know. I used my one Canada poll, and that was Regina. Yeah.

That's all I got, baby. That's a nice piece of business. Yeah, Regina's fun. I was listening to Stop Podcasting Yourself today. I don't remember the name of the guy from the Guess Who, but he's Canadian. From the band the Guess Who? Yeah. Sure.

Rush, they're Canadian. Are we naming Canadian things? What's going on here? Yeah, we could go all day with naming Canadian things. We sure could. I don't know if I could. I think I got about 10. Hey.

Once I get Dave and Graham and Stop Podcasting Yourself, which is three of them. Yeah. They're friends of the Sunday Service. Okay. That's all I got. I'm done. Hey, let me give you guys an option. Do you want to go all night naming Canadian things?

Right. Or do you want to take a break? I think I'll take a break. Let's take a break. Can I ask a quick question before we? Sure. Yes. Does Roberto Alomar count?

He played for the Blue Jays and he lived in the Sky Dome. No. But I don't think he was born in Canada. No, I'm sorry. It does not count. Okay, let's take a break. Let's take a break. We'll be back in just a second

on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Matt Bronger, comedy truck out of control. Clearly. Matt, you're off the rails.

I'm on fire. Quick, slow down. You're going to die. Slow down. You're going to kill us all. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Guess what just happened? What?

I was watching Matt's special on my Nokia N-Gage. Sure, the perfect place to watch matt special sweet tie-in now matt yes uh obviously people should check out your special apparently it's everywhere people should listen to your great podcast that you have advice from a dipshit with matt bronger and but also i mean i think what people are tuning in for and i think people would be more apt to check these things out okay they got what they came for and I think people would be more apt to check these things out. They got what they came for. And I think they tuned into this

expecting something. I think we want you to do the line. Can you do the Matt? I know. I don't want you to ask you to dance, you know, but I think we want to hear the line. I was on the Marvel Wiki. Can I give Matt some context?

Sure. Jordan and I are kind of closet geeks. Got it. We love everything computer. Pop culture. Superheroes. Sure. Superheroines.

Graphic novels. Ultra heroines. Yes. Single mothers. Regular heroines. We're geeks for this stuff. Yes, exactly stuff Firefighters Dogs with rum barrels

To help people trapped in the snow In the Alps We're geeks for this stuff We love it I love those charity calendars Where old ladies are naked But they're standing behind stuff So you can't see their

Fun, really fun. Body positive. Yeah, it is. Wigs. Tories. Really? The Bull Moose Party. Sure, yeah. Labor. Labor, sure. But I think because we are such geeks and we do spend so much time

on the Marvel Wiki. Well, Jordan, we're closet geeks. Closets, excuse me. I would never say that. You guys love closets. No one would guess. Yeah. You love them. We love them. No one would guess how much we love to organize.

Walk-in, standard, others. Oh, slimline hangers, shouldered hangers. So if there's any other closet geeks out there, I think they probably want to hear the line, too. Yeah. We're all, I don't know. I don't know if you would feel weird doing it. I know you usually get.

I'm doing my best. Ah, there it is. There it is. Yay. Wrong girl. Wrong girl. Wrong girl. Dork-o-tron.

Dork-o-tron. Dork-o-tron. Go on. Your move, Steve Agee. Man, he never says I am Groot on the show. He's been on this show six or seven times. He's never said I am Groot. All that guy does.

Or even, my mom died of cancer and I got kidnapped by space pirates. His other famous line. His famous line from Guardians of the Galaxy. I love his lines. Love those lines. Love doing lines. Love those lines. Love doing lines. At the end of the day, as a closet geek, my real dream was to hear the real life Dorkotron do his signature verse. Yeah. I'm doing my best.

I'm doing my best. Because aren't we all? Aren't we all? That's what I love about this stuff. It's universal. That's what I love about this stuff. You think that it's just for your fellow closet geeks. Right.

But actually, you can kind of take lessons from it, whether it's Lego, whether it's flower arranging. Sure. Whether it's hat collecting. Mm-hmm. Yep. Salamanders. Trying to kill Dabney Coleman before he kills you. Uh-huh.

Sure. No matter what you're a closet geek of, when you really drill down to it, there's important life lessons that you can apply to all the parts of your life. Love, friendship, hat collecting. Defusing a bomb in the 40s. Yeah. Circle jerks. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

I'm doing my best. Doing my best. To come on this cookie. Matt, it's always a joy to see you. Thank you for joining us on the program. Thanks for having me, guys. I love you guys. I think Portland's very proud of you, my friend.

Oh, I hope so. Thanks, man. It's a great place, but yeah, I think- I'm glad to be out of there. Fuck you, small town losers. Fuck you, guy from Gang of Four who still lives there. Does he? So many people live there.

Sorry, Corin Tucker. I'll go home and I'll see all these famous people. People just move there. It's like when I was a kid, the joke was, you know, you can't pump your own gas there. There in New Jersey, only two places. It's like, yeah, it's Californians. Don't get out of their car when they're visiting. Keep going, son of a bitch.

Ouch. I know, I know. That's very xenophobic. Who would you say is the worst Californian? My pick is Dabney Coleman. He's the worst of all the Californians? Yeah. I think that guy who started PayPal.

He's pretty bad. He's pretty bad. He's pretty terrible. It's that whole, you know, conservatives are just persecuted left and right. Sure. And it's like, you don't want to pay taxes, man. I mean, he's bad. I thought I was the only satirist in the room. Mm-mm.

Matt Braun. Was I satiring? You just got into some- Was I just satiring? Yeah, it was a truth bomb, my friend. Yep. Bam. Double explosion.

My least favorite Californian? Ronan the Accuser. Oh, wow. Yeah, he is an asshole. Is he in La Jolla these days? Is he back in La Jolla? Yelling at his neighbors. Carl's bad.

Actually, Carl's bad. Why wouldn't he be? He could go to Tip Top Meats or Legoland, whenever he wants. He's an agated community, banging on other people's doors, accusing them of things. Accusing them of letting their dog shit on his lawn. Your dog shit on my lawn.

Just wait until I get the Infinity Stone. These statues have a non-Legos understructure. That's the cover of the comic right there. It's Ronan on someone's lawn. Your dog shit on my lawn. Shit, man. Marvel would sell a fucking million of those. They should do it.

They should do it. They should do it. Dude, Ronan the Accuser has to live in suburban Carlsbad. Anyway, really flip the script on that guy. I'd like to see him live in inner city Carlsbad. Okay, sure. The mean streets of Carlsbad. The mean streets. Yeah.

Is that deep in the caverns? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Right where all the government housing is. Yes. 206-9844-FUN. If you want to give us a call, jjgoat the government housing is. Yes. 206-9844-FUN. If you want to give us a call, jjgoatmaximumfun.org. If you want to email us or send us a voice memo.

Our producer is Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. You can find us on Twitter at Jesse Thorne, at Jordan underscore Morris. Matt, you're at Bronger, right? Am I remembering that correctly? That is my Twitter and my Instagram. B-R-A-U-N-G-E-R. Bronger. Correct. At? At Bronger, right? Am I remembering that correctly? That is my Twitter and my Instagram. B-R-A-U-N-G-E-R. Bronger. Correct.

At. At Bronger. At. And you're going to want to hold down shift and press, I believe, the number two. Exactly. Yeah, just hold down the letter Q and it'll just, 10 Qs. And it's mattbronger.com for all my tour dates if you want to see me on the road. Where are you headed next?

I am going to, this weekend I'm going to, when does this come out? Tuesday. Tuesday. It comes? Tuesday. Tuesday. It comes out Tuesday. Okay. So, oh, so tomorrow. Two days from now. Great.

Marvelous. Today's Sunday. Today's Sunday. What the, Jesus. I'm sorry. It's all those Vegas drugs, sir. No, I'm going to be in Columbus, Ohio on Thursday, then Chicago, Illinois on Friday at Shuba's. Saturday, I'll be

at Milwaukee at the Underground Collective, and Sunday, I'll be in Royal Oak, Michigan at the Comedy Castle. Sounds like the Northern Midwest is in store for a big Midwest friend. By the way, man remembers his tour dates. Please come out. So often, we're doing this thing and we set the guest

up for success. Where can people see you on the road? I don't know. Get out the phone. I don't know. When is it? Maybe. Bronger fucking knows the dates.

Columbus, Funny Bone, February 28th. Shit, man. Chicago, Illinois, March 1st. Pro. Milwaukee, March 2nd. Royal Oak, Michigan, March 3rd. Can I say this? Columbus, Chicago, Royal Oak, Milwaukee. March 2nd, Royal Oak, Michigan. March 3rd. Can I say this? Columbus, Chicago, Royal Oak, Milwaukee.

Go pay your $20. Enjoy your two drinks. You're going to love my friend Matt Bronger. Thanks, dude. Hilarious guy. Thanks, guys. And Gallagher 2 is opening. Yes.

Wow. And Jesse, you're Dennis Miller 2, right? So you'll be opening for Gallagher 2, who will then be opening for Matt Bronger. What a show. You're Earthquake too, right? I'm Earthquake. I'm the white Earthquake. You went from being the white Pip to the white Earthquake.

Seems like a natural enough transition. I think Bronger can handle it. Why not? It's versatile. It's part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Find us on Facebook. Search for Jordan Jesse Go. Join the Maximum Fun group

to chat about this week's episode. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. If your name is Bronson, email us at JJGo at MaximumFun.org or call us at 206-984-4FUN. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. MaximumFun.org.

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