Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 574: Soul Guitar with Jon Daly

Episode Date: March 12, 2019

Jon Daly (Jon Daly Kills It) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of how Jesse has become famous to a some people at the flea market recently, Jordan has a new nickname he got from a dancing guy at a bar, and Jon's new music project which features him playing the saxophone. Plus, we reveal how many people in our audience have fezes!  This week, let us know if you own a drug rug -- 206-984-4FUN or [e-mail]!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris debuting new nickname very soon. Oh wait, not right now? Well, it's got a story. Okay. It's got a yarn behind it.

A tail. Usually what we do is rather than telling each other whether we have anything to talk about on the show beforehand, we'll kind of horn it into, we'll square peg and around hole it into the nickname so that we can indicate to each other there's something we should cover before we get into whatever other bullshit. Man, don't tell them how the sausage is made. And, of course, you have to freeze the meat slightly. Yeah. Come on. Dude, don't.

Don't. Our secrets. The grinder on the stand mixer isn't going to be able to- Don't listen to them, folks. That's not how sausage is made. Do you want to? i do have a story i did receive a fucking dynamite new nickname okay a few days ago do you want to introduce our guest and i can spin the arm because i think he i think he'll have thoughts about it yeah our guest is a brilliant uh actor writer improviser, and musician.

He's a celebrity in the world of comedy. Please welcome John Daly. Thank you. Not the world at large. Just want to make that absolutely crystal clear. Not map making or military history. God, I wish I was a cartographer. You know, I've been going to the flea market every- I wish I was a cartographer. I've been going to the flea market every Sunday

for 10 years. I don't know. I got all these flea market friends, which is one of the best kinds of friends you could possibly have. You don't have to worry about feeling... Oh, God, yes.

I'd go over to somebody's house to go through the shit that they can't sell to see if there's anything that I could sell. Yeah, that's a great that's a great joy. I mean, I know what you mean, because there is that old saying the best friends are friends with a musky odor. Yeah. And that's why. And everyone's watching them. Marie Kondo. So they're they're taking out the trash oh

that's right i have heard that that uh that the thrift store flea market scene is experiencing a little bit of a boom because everybody's condoing everybody watching the netflix condo show but they're all things that make you sad oh sure super sad flea market. Like, it brings no joy. Have you noticed an influx in sadness in the flea market? It would be very difficult to identify because the flea market, even at its happiest, shares many of the signifiers of extraordinary sadness. Yeah. Such as being surrounded by garbage, wearing clothes that don't look washed, giving yourself a haircut. These are all flea markets. Trying to get rid of items that belonged to a dead loved one.

Yeah. Yeah. State sales are very dark. The recently dead. These are all characteristic of the flea market and also of sad. Now, I'm not saying that everyone at the flea market is sad. In fact, I love the people at the flea market. I think they're the greatest.

My experience of flea markets is like puffy white socks and like new kids on the block CDs. You're looking more at a swap meet, John. That is a swap meet. Yeah, yeah. That is more like a swap meet. Yeah. If you're buying tube socks and bootleg cassettes. Right.

But my childhood flea markets were maybe swap meet. But they were outside and- I want to give a special shout out to the copy of the Bodyguard soundtrack that I bought on bootleg cassette at the Ashby Flea Market in Berkeley. Nice. Wow.

It's a great soundtrack. There's no Romeo plus Juliet. There was an article- We're talking classic soundtracks. There was an article about me. I have no cachet as an antiques dealer. I don't have much to offer people. The person with

cachet is a guy who has expertise about a weird thing and you can go and ask him, is this worth anything? The guy in the crazy suit on Antiques Roadshow. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. The creepy twins. You're talking about Nicholas Lowry. Yeah. The poster expert. Or the creepy twins. Yeah. They poster expert. Or the creepy twins.

Yeah. They're not on the road show anymore, but yeah. No? Oh, yeah? Me too? They get canceled? Both twins canceled. You're canceled.

For totally different reasons. One was jacking off in public. And the other one came. Right. One jacks off, the other one comes. I bet twins. That's how twins work. Wait, I don't know these people.

Why are they creepier? Are they like the... I'm picturing the twins in The Shining. You know what? They're probably lovely. They're just like these blonde twins. Part of their shtick is like, we're twins and we talk the same. They have kind of a shtick basically as antiques dealers.

They're kind of like if there were twins on the Antiques Roadshow who were both an Andy Daly character. Right. Is how I would care. Yeah. Yeah. They do a great job. They're very popular. Yeah.

You know those dudes jack off in public though. Yeah. They've got a weird sex thing. Yeah. It manifests itself in private so far. Yeah. They can only come on an 18th century carousel. Yeah.

While they're riding on it. They specialize in American furniture, but yeah, go ahead. What this old lady doesn't know is I came all over this Tiffany land. A little aside. This thing is frosted. But anyway, so I have no cachet in this world and i've been i've been talking to these people for 10 years you know what i mean the people that i see you see the same people every week uh you know some people do some of the shows some people don't do others of the shows you know

how are you doing how's it going on whatever no interest or recognition for many, many years or any – I had no prestige in the world. But then one of them got hold of an article about me in the Los Angeles Times. And now for, I'm going to say, five people I know at the flea market, I'm the biggest celebrity that has ever been to the flea market. Do they call you Hollywood? Hey, Hollywood! The other 500 people continue to have

no interest in me because I do not know what their stifes are worth. Right. But, yeah, I recently became... I imagine. Well, maybe you gotta

bring better stuff, man. It was like no one... Yeah, bring some better stuff, dude. I gained no... Your shit's got all that cum on it. At least wipe off the cum,

baby. Especially the electronics. The cum is supposed to be... Yeah, nobody wants a cummy Blu-ray player. That's supposed to be what makes it valuable, though. You can get a regular... You can just go to Best Buy and get a Blu-ray player for $39. Doesn't have any cum on it, though.

Ladies, don't sit on these. You may get pregnant. In some kind of Sea Monkeys reanimation of Seaman. Ladies don't sit on these Blu-ray players. Well, it's both a Sea Monkeys seminal reanimation and a scenario in which they're using their Blu-ray player as a chair. Now, before I sell you this Blu-ray player as a chair. Now, before I sell you this Blu-ray player, I have to let you know. Don't sit on it. Look, these are flea market people. Sure.

Yeah. I bet there's – They get pregnant, but it turns out they're just brine shrimp. Sure. Human science. They don't actually wear little crowns. Just disappointing. The baby's born.

Little crowns. Yeah. Just disappointing. The baby's born. I mean, I think probably people who are flea market regulars are still people to whom print journalism is still very important. These people still read the newspaper. I think that's what it is because I thought – I had never been covered in the Los Angeles Times. We live in Los Angeles. Show business is based in – I'm like, this is going to open doors.

Yeah. This is – I'm like, this is going to open doors. Yeah. This is – I'm going to get a call from Brian Grazer asking me to one of his famous unpaid consulting lunches. Just giving him free ideas? Yeah, he goes to lunch with an unpaid genius each day So he can steal their ideas to steal their mind. But, uh, yeah, but the effect,

and I, my, my mom didn't care. Like no one in my family cared. No one here in the office cared. No one that I knew from comedy cared, but it made its hands into one woman's hands. She's a cool lady named Terry.

And Terry made, sounds pretty flea market. I think Terry made a couple. I's a cool lady named Terry. And Terry made copies for her. Sounds pretty flea market. I think Terry made a couple. I'm a cool lady named Terry. Terry made copies for a couple other people, and they were very excited about it. You know what you got to do, though? What's that?

Laminate that sucker. Post it. Laminate it. Blow it up. Laminate it. Post it. Then everyone knows there's no discussion. Should I put it on like a t-shirt

or on a cart that i pull like those guys who say like i buy model trains wear a t-shirt yes i buy model trains and you know what this is great actually because after you laminate it you can come on it yeah yeah as much as much as you want yeah that will help with the animation suspended animation process too it'll keep it clean. Sure. Look, if you're not jerking off to newspaper clippings about articles, what are you jerking off to? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Auto trader. I have mentioned this before on the show, but, you know, of all of my entertainment accomplishments, of which there are few. There are some. Some. I would say of which there are some. Some.

Definitely. You've met Denzel Washington, granted, while wearing a funny costume, but still, you met Denzel. I've met a few people wearing funny costumes. There you go. Iron Man in front of the Chinese theater that one time. Oh, right. Yeah.

You were in a Sandra Bullock movie. Sure. The worst one, but still. Wait, what's the worst one? All About Steve. I have five lines in All About Steve. Oh, wow. A role for which I still receive a thrice yearly residual check for under $5.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. It's neat. The gift that keeps on giving. You were on Scandal and your character is not dead, so he could come back anytime. I think that show's canceled, though. Oh.

Is it? I don't know. That's a scandal. Yeah. Thank you. Are you pitching a reboot based on the tabloid publisher? Yeah. Tabloid publisher who is off camera for most of his lines.

Yeah. Oh, you're a tabloid publisher? Yeah. So you're Richard tabloid publisher? Yeah. So you're Richard, what's the National Enquirer guy's name? I think I am that guy. His name is David Pecker, right? Oh my God. Yeah, I was John Crank.

John Crank, oh my God. I don't think I had a name. I think I was just, I think I was Sleazy Tabloid Reporter was my name in the script. Wow. Did you make people call you that on set? Like in a method actor kind of way? I did. Excuse me, my name was Sleazy Tabloid Reporter was my name in the script. Wow. Did you make people call you that on set like in a method actor kind of way? I did. Excuse me.

My name is Sleazy. Yeah. And I was like, can we make this quick? I got a deadline for my tabloid. Jordan, you're best friends with NBC4's Fritz Coleman. Well, that's what I was about to bring up. Okay. Is that, you know, given my showbiz accomplishments, the one my mom is the most proud of is the local weather commercial I did for $100 where I asked NBC4's Fritz Coleman where the best waves were, dude. Did they really give you $100?

They did. How old was it that they should give you $200? Well, you know. Did you have to audition for it? No, I did not. Oh, okay. Well, I do anything for $100. Offer only.

Offer only $100 only. Yeah. I think a- No more, no less. I think the guy who was making them had seen an improv show that I was in. Right. Oh, also in that same casting roundup, former Jordan Jessica, I guess Ryan Perez, who maybe you know from around.

The best. He's the best. The funniest. He's also in those. Yeah. Did you get picked? How did you get picked? Sorry.

I think this guy came to see an improv group that Ryan and I were both in. Wow. He was like, give me those young hunks. So that's how he kind of started grooming you? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Hey, you're really funny.

You get really funny. Oh, you're great. Come be in my weather commercials. Meet Fritz. 100itz. I have a standing desk. You will feel dirty after this. But that is the thing that my mom is the most

proud of, is those weather commercials, because I think all of her friends saw them, and oh my god, is that your son? Oh my god, is that your son? And it's just kind of audience specific. It's like like you know to to uh you know to a to a nurse you the most famous person is a person who appears on the local news right because the local news is on tv in the hospital 24 7 so anyway yeah the surgeon general you just got to find your audience, I think is the lesson.

Yeah. Well, your mom has to find – you have to find your mom's audience. Right. That's the one thing that hits it. Yeah. Yeah. I got to get on The Good Wife. Yeah.

If I'm on The Good Wife or Downton Abbey, then that will supplant. Yeah. That will supplant the weather commercial in my mom's heart. If I ever – I got to get on to Al Sharpton's MSsnbc msnbc show you can do that i gotta get on to father brown mysteries definitely maybe i can replace father brown oh yeah yeah you got a little brown in you yeah father green honestly yours is the first one that sounds like a really great job. Yeah. Oh, that would be great. It would be awesome to get cast on that. What is this? Before I solve this crime, first to crump it. It's uncanny.

Am I sitting here with Father Brown? Hello. It is. Father Brown. Do you guys want to hear about my new nickname? Yeah. So I was at a bar a few days ago, and I was standing by myself perfectly still. This is important to the story were you entirely painted gold yes i was i i was at i was a i was an oscar i was at an oscar

party was the bar at chicago's navy pier i don't understand what you're talking about you know what i'm talking about like oh like those guys that Yeah, those robot men who scare you and then ask for money. Yeah. No, I was not being. So I was there. I was there with a friend. I'm not just going to bars and standing still by myself. My friend was in the bathroom.

By the way, I would just like to take credit for having said Chicago's Navy Pier and not the Grove. I don't think there's Robot Man at the Grove. I don't think there is either. Or Union Square. There's a Union Square. There's some Central Park. There's a lot of. Yeah. Where's the prime place to see a Robot Man at the Grove. I don't think there is either. Or Union Square. There's a Union Square. There's some Central Park. There's a lot of-

Yeah. What's the prime place to see a Robot Man? My first instinct was a Pier 39 in San Francisco, but look, we all know from grabbing Red Reddit that I talk about- South Street Seaport. I talk about San Francisco too much, so let's go with South Street Seaport. Sure. Yeah.

A great reference. Those guys always, yeah. These are all- They do scare you and then they're like, pay me. Sure, yeah. I smell horrible, pay me. Metallic paint on that is flammable. I know, yeah.

Yes, this paint has fried my brain. So my eyes look weird. I got cast in a local television commercial in San Francisco that wasn't on television. It was an interactive web commercial of some kind. Where they paid me $300 to jump out from behind bushes. Really? Yeah.

It was horrible. It was like the worst job I've ever had in my life. Yeah. Go ahead, Jordan. So I'm standing still by myself. You've got the thing that goes... No, I'm not being a robot, man. I'm socializing. You've got your boom that goes. No, I'm not. I'm not being a robot, man. I'm socializing.

You've got your boombox. I'm not on the clock. Sorry, ghetto blast. So you're stock still in a bar. And why is that? That's weird, too. Well, I'm. Somebody puts it down.

Are you in your basket? I'm not that I had a friend I was talking to. And the friend was in the bathroom. So what am I supposed to be doing? Oh, OK. So the euronic starts playing. I'm there to socialize. Right, right. OK, so you're stock still. okay. So the electronic starts playing. I'm there to socialize. Right, right.

Okay, so you're stock still. Yes. Still stiff as a board. Yeah. And a man kind of dances up to me. And I could tell by- Is this a bar, like a dancing situation? Not really.

They're blasting some tunes. And it's lively in there. But there's not like a dance floor. He's kind of having some fun. Do you remember what was playing? That'll enter into it. Okay, great. I'll get to that.

Great. But yes, I do. This guy dances, so this is like maybe a 50-year-old guy motorcycle jacket with some sewn-on patches. Sure. Not like punk or metal patches, but like Bugatti patches. Right. Cool. Yeah.

Excellent. So he kind of... Maybe he's sponsored. Yeah, could be. He's got to wear the jacket when he's out. He's always got to be drinking Bugatti brand energy drink in case the paparazzi catches him. He kind of dances up to me.

Those Alfa Romeo assholes. I know. Fuck them. He leans in and he's like, Hey, troublemaker. And then dances off. And then I'm... Hey, troublemaker.

So I'm thinking, why did this happen? Yeah. So, I mean, and it's- Was it a flirt? Was he like, hey, troublemaker? I don't think so. I think it was a bro down. Although, I don't know signals.

I sometimes am a little oblivious when it comes to that stuff. Well, it's flirtatious no matter what. I was clocking it as a bro down. Right, okay. Could have been wrong. I think a bro down flirtation, okay. Could have been wrong. I think a bro down flirtation is a thing. Yeah, definitely like, yeah, that's a flirtation.

If you're going, hey, troublemaker, it doesn't matter what your intention is. You're flirting with this guy. Sure. Yeah. So I'm like going over in my head what just happened, kind of wondering, hey, troublemaker. Oh, it's so weird. And I'm like, does this guy recognize me? I'm like, from fucking what, though? What have I done that this guy, I don't know, I guess I sometimes eat gross food on a popular YouTube channel.

Maybe that's it. Maybe his kids watch it. I don't know. This guy definitely is like, oh shit. There's Cotton Candy Randy. Right, exactly. Could be. Could be. So I'm trying to figure it out. And then he kind of dances back toward the bar

and he leans in and he goes, how's it hanging, troublemaker? To you again? To me again. How's it hanging, troublemaker? This is, wow. And then a third time comes back and he stands right in front of me and locks eyes with me and starts to play air guitar to the song that's on which is dream on by aerosmith so he's doing a very and i could tell

by maybe his fingering that he maybe actually plays guitar. Right. He's like, he's purposefully and he looks like the kind of man who can play Dream On on the guitar. Cool. Another plus. And so I say, hey man, cool hair guitar. And he's like, nah dude, it's a soul guitar.

And then he leaves and I don't see him for the rest of the night. Anyway. He's playing his own soul. Yeah. Wow, that's pretty cool. The soul guitar. My soul pops out in the shape of a guitar. It's possible that he's playing someone else's soul that he stole.

Yeah. Or one in a bat. Yeah, yeah. John, I knew. Mr. Bugatti. And I knew you were coming in. And all I could think of for the rest of the night is I just met a John Daly character.

Like that seems like a guy you would play in something. Hey troublemaker. Yeah that sounds yeah. You can't write that. I was thinking like

that's insane. That would just be like what is this? Yeah. Stuff is just so and people are insane. He was like I'm going to pull a troublemaker.

I wonder if he does it a lot. John I watched a short film in which you starred as one of those guys that sells you a suit with a shirt and a tie and a belt and shoes. Yes, yes. For $99. Right, right, yeah. And it's so –

It's called Men. It so deeply upset me. Oh, thank you. Yeah. It's pretty upsetting. I don't think I can even look at a belt that matches shoes anymore. There's a lot of negative

close-ups. There's just very cursed close-ups of awful men's clothing in there. It's really intense. Yeah. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Okay. It's also very funny. I want to be clear. It's called Men. It's on superlux.com. I think still. They closed as a company, but I think it's still up on that.

A second time. Yes. Yes. I think so. Yeah. Or definitely. They definitely did. Yeah. John, I wanted to ask you about a music show that I saw you do. Yes. Which was fucking hilarious. Thank you so much. You have a new music project? Yeah.

Yeah. music project yeah yeah um i'm doing uh yeah i'm doing this album of songs and um it's all different comedy songs and the common thread is every song has a sax solo i play saxophone and so every song that if it's a trap song or if it's a country song or whatever it's got a sax solo yeah and um yeah so i'm making this album, putting out all these songs and doing a residency at the Satellite. And then you saw me on tour, right, with Man Man? Yeah. So I – and I was telling Jesse about this, and he's like, can John Daly play the saxophone? And I was like, dude can blow.

Thank you. Thank you. Have you played it since you were a kid? Since I was eight. Okay. Yeah. Like in school band and shit like that? In band.

Never in bands, but in band. Do you never, literally never? I mean, you didn't even play in like a ska band in 1998? No, I was like anti-ska. I hated ska. And now I have since then, I was on a TV show called Those Who Can't. It was really funny. And I'm in the series finale, I think, as, yes, as a ska musician.

So I got to play a ska singer, and I got to tell you, I was like, damn, this is fun. And my backup band was the Aquabats, who were an amazing band, right? And I was just like, I am fully on board with this. No, I was just acting. I had creepers on. I was, like, acting, you know, like a ska dude.

What was your costume? So creepers, that track. Creepers. I think it was a sleeveless vest, like jean vest or something like that. Yep. And then like black spiked hair, like dyed black spiked hair, very, you know, dark. And then I think at some point I had a fedora. Yep.

And I had like, it was like a vest, but with a tie. And then I think at some point I had a fedora and I had like, it was like a, a vest, but with a tie and, uh, yeah. And then like, why forget the, the pants,

but like, you know, very on brand for ska kind of, kind of pants. I feel like I got to learn one of the Aquabats songs and like do it with them. And I was just like, this is a fucking exhilarating.

I feel like ska is like musical theater in that reasonable people can disagree whether it's a fun thing to watch yeah or listen to i think you know there are people who fall on every side of that i have a song on my album about ska but there's bring back ska it's not is it a ska song yeah oh cool okay there's no wave ska in both cases i think we can all agree the best way in in both cases no fucking question that it's like one of the funnest things to do yeah oh like i've never played with a ska band but like if somebody said to me right now would you like to be in my ska band i'd be like yeah sounds fun yeah i was like in high school i was definitely like ice cold like indie rock i wanted you know like fugazi and like hard i was tried to be very fancied

myself at least very hardcore and then i realized in college that i missed out on prints and like so much music you know i was kind of closing myself off to by being into guided by voices i guess vaguely but also like loving Billy Joel secretly and like listening to Jimmy Buffett up until like 10th grade. And then, yeah, and just being a dork and listening to Ween and stuff like that. And then, yeah, yeah. I expanded my musical vocabulary past that,

but I definitely missed out on ska and would have had so much fun in a ska band. Did you practice playing your saxophone between when you stopped school banding and today? Well, I actually stopped. I kind of was in jazz band in high school for a second, and then I stopped and joined choir because I wanted to sing. And that was better.

But then in college, and I hate it. I mean, it would be terrible not to share it. Yeah, exactly. And my sax, I put it away, put it back in the case. I cased it, gathered some dust. But then I never really enjoyed it until college when I like would rent out or just like sign out a practice room and go in there and just like practice scales and try and improvise. And then I was like, wow. Oh, wow.

I can actually kind of make this sound good. And I'm not good, but I can make it. You can fake saxophone. improvise and then i was like wow oh wow i can actually kind of make this sound good and i'm not good but i can make it you can fake saxophone and there's like i can make a great i can make a great sound come out of it yeah but i'm not necessarily in complete control so i'm not i'm an amateur sax player but i'm pretty good you sell it too yeah exactly it's all about it's about the songs it's comedy comedy. It's good enough for, yeah. And I, it was so interesting. So I saw you open for Man Man, who are, who are like a kind of a funny band, but also

probably they're, they're, they're further from comedy band and closer to legitimate indie rock. Right, right. And. They have a sense of humor, but they're definitely just like a indie rock band. Yeah. And I think that probably like a lot of guys who like technical music like them like like you know they're like incredible yeah right exactly i think if you like complicated like bass playing yeah you're a fan of man man

yeah and the horn section and everything yeah they're great um they were recommended to me by jaco pastorius so what's that mean it's a complicated bass player. Oh, okay. Yeah. Fun. Complicated mentally and his voice. Very complicated bass. She's a complicated man. Yeah, go ahead. It's like, what is he thinking? Why won't he text me back? Yeah.

I always do the rules with Jaco Pastorius. Sure. Right. Exactly. You got to do the rules. You got to get the ring, baby. If you want to get the ring. I do new rules. I'm like, new rule. Oh. You got to do the rules. You got to get the ring, baby, if you want to get the ring. I do new rules.

I'm like, new rule. You got to play flute. Anyway. Shout out to Bill Maher. His show was great this weekend. Love you, Bill. Love you, Bill. Keep saying the N-word every three years.

See if anyone notices, bro. Love you, Bill. Keep saying the N-word every three years. See if anyone notices, bro. And you go up there and do a song called I'm Eating Pussy with DJ Khaled. I don't know if that's the title of the song. That's the name of the song, I'm Eating Pussy with DJ Khaled. It's the refrain. Well, he came out like four months ago and was like, I don't eat pussy.

I don't eat my girlfriend's pussy. Right. It's just what the fuck – why would you say that? Like everyone knows your girlfriend. It's disgusting. Like it's super weird. And what is sex? A one-way street with your big deep belly button?

Disgusting man. You think it's pleasant? Anyway, go ahead. No, but I mean I think in that led – and I was interested in this story too of DJ Khaled coming out as not eating pussy. Because it contained – perhaps it caused perhaps the greatest internet moment of all time. And I think the headline or something was, you know, I don't eat pussy because it's not fit for a king or something. He was referring to himself as a king. Right.

And then the Smash Mouth Twitter account retweeted this with the caption, a king who doesn't is no king at all. Oh, man. And it was so fucking great. Smash Mouth takes the high road. Yeah, exactly. And the low road, apparently. When he doesn't go low, we go high. Right, exactly.

Smash Mouth was breaking San Francisco Giants news on Twitter last week. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Smash Mouth Twitter account. So they're connected? They have some kind of connect? Yeah, they got their hook up. They're from San Jose.

So, you know, they're plugged in. So it's not just tour dates. Exactly. It's also content. And this guy's about breeding pussy. These guys live in big fat McMansions in San Jose. They're like, get off my lawn. All-star.

Shut up. Quiet. I'm eating pussy. Shut up. Quiet. I'm eating pussy. I'm eating pussy. I am devouring. I'm rubbing my goatee on a clitoris. Can you imagine that little goatee? Scraping up, scraping up.

Yeah. I wonder if he makes the shape of an L on his forehead when he's licking that. With his finger and his thumb. That's good. There's a lot of Smash Mouth push eating jokes finger and his thumb. Yeah. That's good. There's a lot of Smash Mouth push eating jokes. They're fun. Yeah. Very good.

Anyway. Oh, but like, and I'm like, fucking this dude is singing this eating pussy about DJ Khaled song in front of a pretty serious indie rock audience. Yeah. I thought it was great. Oh, good. What is it like when you're on tour with a musician's musician band doing pussy eating material? It's a country song, too, by the way.

Well, their fans, first of all, are legion, and they come out in droves, and they're like weirdos and they paint their faces white and they are intense yeah um and it's great yeah painting faces white sounds fucking great it's great what a fucking great fan thing to do yeah and there are just like man there are people dress like ryan it's like the dorkiest thing in the history of the world but like the effect must be super cool when you look at the crowd, you're like, Jesus. People with white painted faces. That's going to be crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, that's like going to an amazing art opening. Yeah. Oh yeah. Totally. Yeah. It's a, it's a very art, art oriented thing. Um, but, uh, yeah, so it works out great.

You know, um, there's a, maybe some crossover, some people I'm sure are just like, what is this? But it went really great. We went to like, you know, San Diego and Petaluma and Santa Barbara. There was one show, I forget where it was, that was kind of like, all right, fuck you. It was just like, and the people were like, just, it was Reno, wasn't it? I wish it was Renono i wish i would love to play reno no i won't say the name i won't say the name it wasn't petaluma though was it visalia i know but that's a great reading no needles blink twice if it was vallejo yeah my

tiny toy yeah vallejo downy um So, yeah, it was fantastic. Porterville. Basically, yeah. It worked great. It was great, yeah. Yeah. Rancho Cucamonga. God, I wish.

What a fun thing to say. Oh, yeah. What's up, Cucamonga? Ranch Cuc. Ranch Cuc. Do you think the guys who live there call it Ranch Cuc? I think they call it R-Cuc. R-Cuc.

R-Munga. R-Cuc. R-Munga. Rep R-Munga. R-Cook. R-Munga. Rep R-Munga. Guys, you want to hit the Mung this weekend? You guys want to head back to R-C? Yeah, because it is a lot. And it's a lot.

You have a lot of different genres as well. You mentioned trap music. I don't think you played the Ska song. No, I did not. Yeah. That is, yeah, it's still in the works sure but yeah i've it's um all different kinds of songs i also write wrote a really personal song that's like a five minute long song cycle about my family about the dailies yeah about the dailies exactly um and

my brothers came out in december and played it with me on stage and it made me cry and it was lovely. And yeah, I made a song with Colleen Green, who's a great rock and roll star here in LA. And she does my live show a lot at the Satellite and we'll play, we wrote a song together and then she plays her own stuff. When you're composing, are you composing mostly on saxophone? No, I'm doing it on actually just my phone recorder just do it i kind of like compose something play the saxophone into the phone recorder no i don't really think of songs with the sax i just think of like little bits of songs and sing it out or write it or something and then i'm usually kind of going like sometimes it's like retro Sometimes it is a saxophone genre.

What are the top saxophone genres? Top three. Bruce Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen. M83. And Sade. Sure. And yeah, there's other stuff. But sometimes I do like a Highwaymen song, like Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard.

And then wedge saxophone into that and it sounds great. It does work in a lot of different stuff. And also I've got kind of a Kraftwerke kind of song and we just do an electric sax solo on that. That feels like that makes a ton of sense. Yeah. I'm ready for electric sax solos and Kraftwerke type songs. Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah.

It's some crisp, clean music. If you ever want to do like a weather report, fusion jazz kind of thing. That's difficult. I can give you Jocko Pastore's list number. May he rest in peace. Why do you pretend he's alive? And Jocko, I know you've read it. I can see when you've read the text. And don't tweet. If you haven't textedocko, I know you've read it. I can see when you've read the text.

Yeah. And don't tweet. If you haven't texted me back, I know you're not busy. He went up to Miles Davis and said, hey, Miles, I'm the best bass player in the world. Jocko Pastore. I'm Jocko. I'm the best bass player in the world. Miles Davis was like, all right.

And like a week later, he was in his band. He was like, okay, you win. You are the best bass player in the world. That's a cool jazz story. It's cool. Yeah. The Jocko Pastore is, what's it called? it called biopic or no i wish it was a biopic i love biopics um uh documentary so the um behind the music so the smash mouth twitter account is breaking baseball

news but we're um highlighting jazz tales you know what this is a useful podcast i'm pretty sure john daly just told us a cool jazz story about cool jazz. Wait, somebody told me that this was just jiving. Oh, no. Just jiving. Wait, are we supposed to get into some serious stuff or are we just jiving out? No, in this same booth on Monday nights, just jiving records. So I think he just probably fucked up your calendar.

Oh, man. All right. Well, I'll come back and we'll just switch the times if that's okay. But we do host it, but we do glue on goatees. We do host it. Did you notice the beret under your seat? Yeah. Oh, sorry.

I got to put that on. No, it's for tomorrow. For the home radio audience, I'm putting on a beret. It looks really cool. Again, that's for tomorrow. Okay, cool. This is Jordan Jesse Go. tomorrow. Okay, cool. This is Jordan, Jesse, go. Right.

Okay, cool. So this show is mostly Jaco Pastorius stuff. But the rest of the jazz stuff is on Just Jivin' tomorrow. Good. Okay, good. Yeah, so Jaco was a visionary. He would play two melodies at the same time and two different time signatures. Can I be clear?

When I say that this show is mostly Jacoo, just saying the words Jocko Pastore is not really giving any insight into who he is or any context for those words. Yeah. That's stuff you should say for tomorrow. Yeah. You know, Jocko is, it's Bulgarian for pasteurizing piss. Pastore. Pastore. I messed that up, but it was funny. I think it worked. for pasteurizing piss. Castoria. Pistoria. I messed that up, but it was funny.

I think it worked. The concept was funny, but only in a way. It would work way better on just jiving, but what are you going to do? It's fine. Anyway, we're not doing Jocko tomorrow. We're doing Ayrton Moreira tomorrow. Oh, fascinating. Wow. You can bring someyrton Morera tomorrow. Oh, fascinating.

Wow. So get your, you can bring some weird. Sorry about the cross wires, dude. Yeah. Anyway, well, this is a great day because this

was, I got to say, spring forward. And I didn't realize that it was spring forward until like three. I usually know when these things happen and

definitely fall back. I'm like dreading the day. But this was the first time in a while when spring forward happened just by like looking at my – I was like, oh, my God. It's going to stay late. Like when I was driving here, I was like, this is fantastic.

The best. It's really nice. It's nice out. It makes me insanely – like it makes me like two levels happier. You love a spring forward, huh? I love a spring forward. There's a spring in your step, certainly. You love the way it steals an hour of your sleep.

Yeah. Well, I don't mind the hour of my sleep if it stays lighter longer it's so lovely i had on so spring forward is you know sunday morning can i have another water sorry on saturday night on saturday night i uh i had the my daughter's first sleepover party hey Uh, and these children slept. Did you guys watch the Beverly Hillbillies movie? Like we did it. My childhood sleepover. Yeah. Did you watch some really disappointing porn?

Uh, we watched Mary Poppins return. Okay. Cool. Uh, which is, which is fun. Shout out to Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Shout out to that guy. Our, our close personal friend, Lin-Manuel Miranda. Um, that guy our close personal friend Lin-Manuel Miranda and you know like it was cool I forgot that like

they would go to sleep at 11 and wake up at 4 anybody freaked out did anybody need to go home nobody freaked out and needed to go home they were thrilled to be there the whole time. Great.

Anyone get pink eye from a pillow fight like me? Pink eye from a pillow fight. Everyone got pink eye. Yeah, sure. If you don't get pink eye, it's weird. For getting hit with those shit pillows. Yeah, just like you're bleeding a little bit. Taking a shit pillow to the face.

Yeah. Ugh. Yeah. Some kid's fart pillow. I just fart in this for years. There's six years worth of farts in here. Here's a baseball card with all my boogers on it for the last 10 years. Anyway, a kid in my neighborhood would do that. Do you want to see that?

Oh, yeah? The baseball card do you remember what baseball player it was it was a Pittsburgh Pirate I think it was probably John Candelaria someone like Bobby Bonilla or something like that

probably Don Sluggo Slott maybe or Mike Spanky LaValliere his platoon mate yeah that was when i cared about the pirates was lavalier definitely the fucking spanky lavalier years am i right jordan spanky spanky do you want to see my dad's cum covered blu-ray player my dad comes on blu-rays and i have my boogers in a baseball we're a very bad family we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Issego.

It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, troublemaker. God, it's gorgeous. You know my son Frankie, Curtis, my youngest son? He already had all these different nicknames from just being the youngest and I think we're just cutting loose. Yeah.

And really enjoying- Calling a kid whatever. I was calling him Meat for a while, which is short for Meatball. Cute. He was just a little meatball, you know? I don't know. How old? He's just turned two.

Is his name Frankie? His first name is Curtis. His middle name is Francis. We would call him Frankie sometimes. That's cute. And anyway, he started getting mad at us whenever we would call him by his name. And we were pretty confused. And it suddenly became clear that he

will only respond to the name gaga okay he says wow gaga yeah there's someone else like that not a strong i know another uh yeah petulant diva yeah it's his son being called gaga only respond to gaga gaga anyway they're both in the shell-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la's. Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la's. Your son has like a surprising intimacy with Bradley Cooper, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Like it's like just the- Where you like they definitely date. They definitely date. Lady Gaga is in the Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la's.

My son is in Sha-na-na. Oh, yes. It's almost the same. I can see how you get them confused. Cool. I like a rockabilly baby. Yeah.

Jordan, Jesse, go, of course. Brought to you every week by all of the members of MaximumFun.org. Go to MaximumFun.org slash donate to support us. MaxFun, drive right around the corner, Jordan. It's going to be fun. I think it's going to be pretty fun. We already recorded our bonus episode. It's out there if you're a member with the great Sarah Morgan. Yeah, grab it. That was a blast. If you're a donor to MaxFun, you get a lot

of cool bonus content. Yeah, you want to hear an episode that we recorded on a boat that we bought earlier that day? A lot of cool stuff up there. Carried to the lake in front of our office? Yeah, you can hear that if you're a member. Anyway, we're also this week brought to you by our friends at Zip Recruiter. You know, Jordan, I'm a small business owner. And one of the harder parts, I imagine, I'm not a small business owner. I'm the star of local weather commercials. You own a large business.

Yes. I've heard hiring can be very hard. Hiring is rough. Because here's what happens. You put your job listing up on some random website and then you get 10,000 applications. You got to sort through them. You got to look through them. You're like,

well, not this guy. Not this lady. You know what I mean? The whole time you're just going, not this guy. Sounds like you need ZipRecruiter. They send your job to over 100 of the web's leading job boards, but they don't stop there. They use powerful matching technology.

They scan thousands of resumes to find people with the right experience and invite them to apply for your job. It's so effective, 80% of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. That's four out of five, Jordan. That's a great ratio. I like them ratios. Right now our listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at this exclusive web address, ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo.

ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Thank God they give out that web address. It's an exclusive one to try for free. This is not just ZipRecruiter.com slash JJ Go. Do not share it with the hoi polloi. This is an exclusive

web address. Sad that you guys sold out. Max Fun. Sorry, baby. Daddy's got a cocaine problem. Thank you, ZipRecruiter. Everybody knows. a cocaine problem. Thank you, ZipRecruiter. Everybody knows. It's going right up my nose.

It's not. We're also brought to you this week by our friends at Squarespace. Now, Jordan, as a creative professional, you, of course, as I mentioned, own the company Genentech. Sure. You need a website. You need a website. Sell your products. Showcase your wares.

Display your creativity. Well, to get that website, you're going to want to talk to the fine folks at Squarespace. Yeah, you can blog. You can sell stuff. You can create a beautiful personal website for professional purposes, for personal purposes, for sensual purposes. They've got beautiful customizable templates created by world-class designers. Again, no bullshit regional designers. No regional designers.

It's a new way to buy domains and choose from over 200 extensions, analytics to help you grow in real time, plus that 24-7 award-winning customer support that I have used myself for my Squarespace website. Hello, 3 o'clock in the morning. for my Squarespace website. Hello. Three o'clock in the morning. Is this Squarespace? Yes, it is. Can I help you with your website? Yes, please.

Thank you. Do you want me to do one of these voices? Just a perfect, dramatic interpretation of how 24-7 their support is. That works. It works perfectly. Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use the offer code JJGO to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. At Squarespace.com and enter the code JJGO.

Do you know what that stands for, Jordan? No, I don't. It's a random series of nonsense letters, right? Yeah, it stands for shit. What's the fucking jazz shit? Geronimo, Geronimo, get out. Geronimo, Geronimo, get out. Geronimo, Geronimo, get out. And it's a creative spelling of Geronimo.

Oh, yeah. With a J. It's like your majesty. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Troublemaker. John Daly. Peter Sagal. So your nickname is Peter Sagal? Yes. John Daly, Peter Sagal? John Peter Sagal Daly.

I'm just a big Wait, Wait fan. Forgive me. Yeah. Aren't we all? Yeah. It's a great show. It's a terrific show. Yeah.

It's a fun way to get your news. Yeah. So. Shout out to our colleague Paula Poundstone. Yeah. Paula Poundstone and Adam Felber. Hell yeah. Helen Hong out there on the panel sometimes.

Shout out to Tom Beaudet. We'll leave the light on for you. Yeah. Great jokes. And much like Smash Mouth, you know Beaudet, you pussy. Yeah. You know he goes down. Down.

He tilts that hat back. Oh, yeah. He wears a fedora. What do you think he's got the light on for? So he can look at a pussy easier. So he can fucking laser target. Yeah. He's got that light on.

Motel 6. He's a weirdo. He's got the meth pipe. Motel 69, right? Oh, come on. Probably not a meth pipe. If he's lucky. Probably not a meth pipe.

Just a clean, comfortable room. Yeah. She tries to go down on him. He's like, come on. Probably not a meth pipe. If he's lucky. Probably not a meth pipe, just a clean, comfortable room. Yeah, she tries to go down on him. He's like, no thanks. This is about you, baby. I'm here for your pleasure. It's me, Tom Bodette. We'll leave. We'll turn the lights off.

I have an NPR show, guys. Cool. Come on. What's that like? We're keeping it clean. Yeah. We're keeping it on. What's that like? We're keeping it clean. Yeah. We're keeping it lean. This is complimentary.

And we're keeping it clean. All right. What's next? We're complimenting Tom Bodette. I think pussy eating is a positive. It's definitely. First of all, first of all, we want to take this opportunity to acknowledge that we, along with the rest of the world this week, learned that Alex Trebek is seriously ill.

We love Alex Trebek. Absolutely. Just as everyone else does. We do not take responsibility for this. It's not our fault. And we feel bad about it. In case it might be our fault. Since we've been talking a lot about Jeopardy.

We have a Jeopardy-related tally going on, John, for you and maybe people who are tuning in for the first time. Yeah. We wanted to see how many— And have somehow made it this far into the show. Like, I like it so far. Tom Bodette stuff was strong. Think about coming on the Blu-ray player. That was good.

Well, I use Blu-ray players as a chair. This joke made perfect sense to me. Well, you're a guy. It doesn't matter. You can sit on it all you want to-ray players as a chair. This joke makes perfect sense to me. Well, you're a guy. It doesn't matter. Yeah, you can sit on it all you want to, baby. Make a nest. Get that cum up your butt. And then watch some special features that are included on your Blu-ray.

Mary Poppins, too. I hope those menus are interactive, Jordan. Love an interactive menu. Is there a trivia game? That's my dream. Okay, so last week on the program, we asked our listeners to call in if they had a Fez. And our goal was to find out if we have more listeners who have been on Jeopardy or more listeners who have a Fez. Now, I want to be clear.

I specifically excluded shitty costume store Fez's. Right. The two types of Fez that are acceptable are, number one, a real Shriner Fez or, number two, a real North African Fez. These are the two categories. These are the two categories. Both real types of, I mean, one, a borderline racist insulting weird cultural appropriation. But both are real Fezzes. Like a Shriner one is cultural appropriation.

That's the weird cultural appropriation one. Right. Yeah. But it's so old and weird that it seems like its own culture. Yeah, it does. Yeah. You have a Fezz yourself, John. I own a Fezz.

Yeah, we were talking before the show. I own a fez. Was it part of your costume as a ska singer? No. Do ska people wear fez? No, I would say that's more of an ultra lounge singer. Sure. Yeah, yeah. They're more beanies.

There is a segment of ska that you would wear that. There's a bim skala bim. Maybe that's some stuff that's more loungy. Good God. I forgot about that. I know about all the subsections of that stuff. Yeah. They probably do a Ska version of Midnight at the Oasis.

You know they do. Yeah. I'm not going to do it. Come on, John. Do it. Honestly, I imagined it and it sounded fun. Yeah. You know what?

It would be a big hit. It would be like Weezer covering many songs. Sure. We all love that. Yes. But what was the thing? Oh, yeah. I have a fez that is a full-on Shriner's fez, and it says something that feels ancient and has a scimitar on it.

I thought it was cool. At some thrift store, and I got it, and it's kind of like in my costume, large trunk thing. Or maybe one of my many plastic bins. But then I have a weird, not fez, but it is a Robin Hood. I can describe it. It's like a Robin Hood. It's like the era of Shriners clothing, but it is a so weird. It's like a pointy green Robin Hood hat.

So there was some Shriners-esque super weird thing that wore these like smart little hats. It was a very strange thing. But those are the two like weird hats. We're a men's group. Yeah. We're the merry men. Yes, we're the merry men. And we pick up litter on the side of the highway and march in parades.

Yeah. I'm a Rotarian. I don't do any of that silly stuff. We wear tricorn hats. Right. Right. Yeah. Dignified tricorn hats. Right, right. Yeah, dignified tricorn hats. Yep.

And I'm in Smash Mouth, which is another popular men's group. Brian, what did it end up being? What is our current total of Jeopardy! contestants who listen to Jordan Jessica? So as of last week, it was 18, and we added two more this week. So we're at 20 Jeopardy. Pretty good. A couple of people were busy. They got behind.

They were busy memorizing almanacs. How many winners, because that's what I count as a Jeopardy participant. I don't care about the losers. There's one four-time champ. How about Kenny Jenny, baby? He hasn't called in yet. I'm sure he's a fan. He's got to be a fan.

KJ? KJ. KJ loves to goof around. JJ and KJ. JJ and KJ. Perfect. A match made in heaven. KJ, go.

Okay, so 20 total Jeopardy! contestants. That's pretty good. Yeah. Now, what can you tell us about the response to our call for Fez owners? Was it overwhelming? How did it go? Can I tell you something here? This is a piece of information that I learned on Twitter that really threw off all our calculations, I think.

We learned that one of the Doctor Whos sometimes wears a fez. Right. So we probably have, I mean, I think we have probably have a lot of Who fans. Yeah. And so probably there's more fezes because of people. They're called Hoovers. Hoovers. Right, Hoovervilles.

Hoovervilles. They're a space shantytown erected during the Great Depression. They're just into that one Doctor Who with the fez. Yeah. So there is the one Doctor – so I probably – I would love a Hoovertown of just people who used to play Doctor Who and now want their pension. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. So we probably – probably a lot of the people who own the Fez in the audience probably have it for Who Dress Up related events. Yeah. I was thinking we would have some people who were Gen Xers who were into 50s and 60s Americana kitsch. I figured we would have a few Dana Goulds in the audience. Not the comedy genius part. There's only one Dana Gould. Not the comedy genius part. Okay, but he's also a comedy genius.

Not the comedy genius part. Right. Just the part where you're into Kitsch Americana and, you know, boomerang tables and that kind of thing. Right. Right. Yeah, like boomerang tables and that kind of thing. Right. Right.

And then I thought we might have a couple of like actual North African people, like maybe a Moroccan or two. That seems like it makes a lot of sense. No. I thought one or two. Maybe. I mean, we got 20 Jeopardy contestants. If there are North African people, the chances that they're, well, you know, maybe their parents own a, maybe they own a Fez. Hey, look, maybe they own a Fez. What am I talking, who do I know? What do I, I don't know anyone.

Me either. Yeah. I also don't know anyone. And then I thought maybe just a couple of people who just bought it at the thrift store and have it in their sketch comedy costume trunk. Daily. Yeah. Yep. So I figured, I figured it would be competitive.

But this Doctor Who situation has really thrown things out of whack. Because if you'd said to me one of those famous scarfs that Doctor Who wears, I know he wears a famous scarf. I thought you were going to say Doctor Who swears by. Yeah. The man swears by. Who's swears by. Yeah. The man swears by this. He swears by this bright scarf. That's the coolest look, probably.

Great Who look. Yeah. I know there's some maybe who wear a Fair Isle sweater. I'm not an expert on the outfits. Hard to say. There's a white tux one, I think. There's kind of a white suit one. And now there's a woman.

If you can believe it. I don't know what kind of hat she wears. Are you thinking of Doctor Who or KFC commercials? Oh, KFC commercials. Yeah. No, KFC commercials. You're right. Hopefully they get their pension as well.

Sure. Yeah, Doctor Who is something that people are very into. They sure are. I've noticed. And I just don't know what the fuck is going on. I mean, look, I've tried, too, and the new ones and the old ones. You're not against it. It just doesn't connect.

My brother loves it, and there's just something missing with it where I'm just like, oh, okay. I just don't know. It's bad. Is that why people like it? It's bad? Hey, everybody. This can't do it. John Daly, what's your like it? It's bad? Hey, everybody. This can't do it. John Daly, what's your Twitter account? What's your Twitter handle? Maybe this is a good place to hand

that out. At John Daly, J-O-N-D-A-L-Y. Hit me up. Let him know who your favorite doctor is. Let her rip, Daleks. Yay. Oh, no. Now I effed myself. Okay. You have to answer to my grandmother's ghost because she was a big fan of the show. She watched it on PBS.

Cool. Well, when are we summoning? Summon the ghost. Summon the ghost. Bring back the dead. Raise her from hell. How do you feel about it? Now that we know that it's a Doctor Who thing, how many Fezzes do you think we're going to have?

I'm going to guess 30 Fezzes. 30 Fezzes. John, what do you think? How many Fezzes, if we've got 20 Jeopardy! champions, how many Fezzes? Oh, wow. I'm going to say 20 Jeopardy! champs. The margin of error for liars there that want attention I would say is 3, so let's just say

17 or 23 maybe So you think 3 are lying You're saying false Jeopardy! contestants Well, it's more likely that they lie about a Fez than a Jeopardy! so we have to also take that into consideration Let's subtract 3 from Fez Yeah, so Fez

Brian, can you call Nate Silver please I'm gonna say eight eight eight Fez's okay eight Fez's wow okay guys I I previously I think on last week's show I made some kind of prediction about uh that said that I would beat it but narrowly but now that I know about this Doctor who thing i'm blowing that up please don't say beat it uh i'm gonna say i'm gonna say sorry i know you like to keep it clean uh i'm gonna say 58 fezes wow damn okay That's a lot of hats. I feel like I have some metric as No, but this might be I think what might happen with you is you might have that Price is Right

$1. Okay, yeah. So that could have been a good play on your part. $1 boy. That's my nickname. Nope, sorry it's Peter Zegel. Peter Zegel. Brian let's hear the answer. Yeah, so it was completely overwhelming.

Fucking Brian had to count them. Wow. Okay, so. I put them into categories. So we got five straight up Shriners. We got nine straight up admitted Doctor Who, like I got it as part of a Doctor Who cosplay thing.

18 North African ones. Morocco or Lebanon or Turkey. A lot of people who were traveling and got it. And then 11 who were a lot of inherited from their grandpa. Haunted Fezzes.

Yeah. Two Aladdins. Oh, yeah. Two people are Aladdin? Now, one of those is definitely a liar because there's only one Aladdin. You're thinking of the character Aladdin. We're talking about the sexual identity Aladdin.

Aladdin. One tiki guy, because I guess it's part of a tiki thing, and then... What's up, man? I'm tiki man. I think the tiki guy Because I guess it's part of a tiki thing What's up man? I'm tiki man I think the tiki guy That's the kind of not comedy genius Dana Gould guy I was thinking

Yeah It could be a comedy genius I don't know it might be Blaine Kapach Could be Blaine Kapach Hard to say Three that were specifically Cthulhu-themed. Cthulhu? Cthulhu-themed.

Cthulhu, the Lovecraft character? Oh. Monster? It was just one guy at first, and I thought, oh, that must be some sort of novelty thing. And then two other people had those themed things, so maybe that has something to do with him. How do you pronounce that word? Cthulhu. Cthulhu.

Cthulhu? I've never known that. Okay. Cthulhu. Cthulhu. Cthulhu? I've never known that. Cthulhu. I've only seen it written. That's cool. How many Tintin cosplay people? No Tintins that I'm aware of. And then there were 39 that were just vague.

So what was the final number? Yeah, so the final total of which is 85. Wow. That's crazy. I think five of those could be discounted as, like, goofy novelty store bullshit. So you could say 80, but, you know, 80 to 85. Shit, I mean, any way you slice it, that's a landslide. Feds, feds, feds.

Let me ask you this. How many of our listeners do you think have that kind of hat where there's two beer holders on either side? Oh, so we're trying to beat Fez now? Yeah. Less than Fez. I don't think that's a contest. Really? Yeah.

I think less than Fez. Yeah. I think less than Fez, too. Beer holders? Mm-hmm. Yeah. But Fez blew me away. I think less than Fez, too. Beer holders? Yeah. But Fez blew me away. That blew me away.

Me, too. I mean, I thought it was going to be a lot, but boy. Boy. Boy, howdy. 80, over 80 Fezzers. What's a better kind of hat? What kind of hat could be? I think I can beat it with another kind of apparel.

Okay. How many people out there have a drug rug? Do you know that kind of poncho that stoners wear? Yeah. I don't know what you call that. It's striped. I have one. Do you?

Yep. Do you call it a drug rug? No. Mine is a little nicer than what you would call a drug rug. I bought it thinking it was a rug and then realized it was a poncho. Started wearing it around. Yeah. Yeah. I think we can beat Fez with that.

With ponchos. With drug rug. Drug rug type ponchos. Yeah, I think we have enough people who were stoners in the 90s. Are we including, though, are we including, like, ladies? I mean, remember, like, five years ago, women were wearing ponchos all over everywhere. It wasn't that exact, like, it wasn't that exact kind of like, whoa, what's up, man?

kind of poncho. It was different kinds. Like some were knit instead of woven. Right. They have different patterns, yeah. But there's that universal, I know you're, yeah, the universal shape. You get it at a swap meet. Yeah. Yeah, like the kind that either

a character from Point Break or Poncho Villa would wear. Yeah. One or the other of those. Or like a Senor Frogs. Or somebody who has- Everyone at Senor Frogs. Yeah. I think that's interesting.

So how many of those do you think there's going to be? I think we could get a hundy. I think we could get a hundy drug rush. Brian's going to have to count these by hand. Yeah. Right. Because they're coming in on to count these by hand. Yeah, right. Because they're coming in on the email. Paper ballots.

Yeah. How many people is the pool? Is this all your listeners or is this people who have been to your live shows? These are all our listeners. Yeah, people listening right now. All listeners.

Okay. Yeah. Right. Everyone within the sound of our voices. I'll say like over 150 with drug rugs. Mm-hmm.

I think that's... I don't know. I think we could do... Now that Fez is blew my mind. I think that's, I don't know. I think we can do, we can do now that Fez is blew my mind. I'm just like the drug rugs seem more pop. How about cowboy hats? Just like who has straight up cowboy hats. Yeah.

It's gotta be more than that. It'd be hundreds. Yeah. Yeah. It's too many. Yeah. I'm trying to think, is there something else that is part of a pop culture costume?

How many people own their own lightsaber? Oh, that was custom made for them? That's going to be like 749 own their own lightsaber. Oh, how many people have a Harry Potter robe? Have one of those Harry Potter

academic robes. I like this drug rug thing. People should have to show a picture because the margin of error is crazy. We trust our listeners. Why would they lie? Well, it's more fun to not do the work, but I crazy. We trust our listeners. Why would they lie? Well, it's more fun to not do the work, but I like to know the real thing.

That's it. It's drug rugs this week. It's drug rugs versus Fez's. We had 85 Fez's. How many drug rugs do we have in the audience? Email us at JJGo at MaximumFun.org I love knowing that drug rug. It's called the drug rug. That's so great. Hashtag JJGo on TwitterumFun.org. I love knowing that drug rug.

It's called the drug rug. That's so great. Hashtag JJGo on Twitter. Hashtag drug rug. Yeah. Or call us at 206-9844-FUN. We did have one Fez call, Brian. Yeah, this is kind of- It's like when frat boys get spiritual.

Right. Like, yeah, I feel a little spiritual on vacation. I went to South America. You got my drug rug. Yeah. Changed my life, dude. Right. Like, yeah, I feel a little spiritual on vacation. I'm in South America. Yeah. Changed my life, dude. Yeah, so this call is a combination momentous occasion and Fez talk. Great.

Well, we're transitioning into momentous occasions. When something momentous happens to you, call us at 206-9844-FUN like this person did. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. I had a little bit of a momentous occasion last night, which is that I, for the first time, slept with a dude, and I was pretty excited about it. But I wasn't going to call until I was listening to the podcast this morning, and I heard the call for people who own Fezzes, and I am part of a group of board game nerds who all wear Fezzes to identify us as a group, because we're big nerds. Like when you're at nightclubs?

was the last call by the Pauly dude and I am also Pauly although I'm not, I guess, in a throuple. Didn't quite hit that mark.

But I was just very serendipitous and I got excited. So I hope you guys have a great week. First of all, we love you too. We love you too. I want to fuck that guy. I mean, sometimes our – He's like a fucking sweet peach, doesn't he?

Yeah, he's just the nicest person in the world. He's insanely weird. Love him. doesn't he yeah he's just the nicest person in the world he's insanely weird love him are sometimes our listeners make me feel like i am i am not living life i know not like what why am i not part of a i don't know if the board game club is polyamorous there's something amazing about just being like i fucked with a dude last night. I'm psyched about it. Anyway, the Fez thing. What is happening? And I'm Polly.

It's a man who is living life. Yeah, he's living life. It sounds like a blast. Fucking living life. Making discoveries, challenging himself. Do you think he fucked with the Fez on? Oh my God, I hope so. Post board games? He's probably, he's definitely come in the Fez.

Post wits and wagers, he's like, this game of wits and Wagers is over. He flips the table and they fuck. So you have to keep it on with one hand, I bet. Or maybe you put some barrettes in there or something to keep it on. I don't know. It looks like the mastermind flips the table. The mastermind.

Oh, man. All right. We got to see who the werewolf is. Can I tell you? I'm trying to think of another board game. Can I tell you? I had a Fez occasion. I took my son, Oscar, out with me, and we were doing some garage sailing.

Guess what we bought ourselves? Fez? Fez? Yeah, fucking Fez. Got him a Fez. Cool. He was like, can I have this hat, Dad? I was like, what a bought ourselves. Fez? Fez? Yeah, fucking Fez. Oh. Got him a Fez. Cool. He was like, can I have this hat, Dad?

I was like, what a timely request. That's great. Yes, you may have that hat. Is it a child's Fez? It's a man's Fez, but my child has a man's head. Ah, sure.

All my children have enormous heads. Yeah. We had to take all our children to the head doctor to measure, and then they kind of would look at,

the brain doctor looks at my wife and I with a concerned look, and then puts the tape around our head. There's three times we've done this. Wow. Puts the tape around our head, looks at it, and goes, all right. Same thing? Three different times we've been required to take our baby to a man who measures our heads. Then says, well, yeah. These kids are all skull.

I got a big head, too. Seven and seven-eighths. Hell, yeah. That's my hat size. Hell, yeah. Yeah, pretty big. Cool head, dude. Thank you so much.

Hey, cool head, bro. Yeah, it's the same one I've always had. Yeah. I love that guy. Nice. I've always had seven and seven eighths. I like how he was like, and I am not in a thruple. Hey, man, you can get there.

We believe in you, caller. We believe you could be part of a thruple, if that's what you want. I think he could be in a quadruple. Sure. Yeah, quadruple, yeah. Get into whatever kind of configuration you want, baby. But you've got to, if you want to be in a quadruple, yeah. Get into whatever kind of configuration you want, baby. But if you want to be in a quadruple, the secret is you got to stay up on the latest web architectures, particularly Drupal. Sure.

Kind of on top of Drupal. I think I know what Drupal is. I'll trust you on that one. Content management. Oh. Web. Sounds useful. Yeah.

Let's ask that dude. Yeah. The thing is you got to have a lot of communication when you're in a quadruple. Communication's key. You've got to have really good contact management. That guy seems like he's really good at communicating. Oh, yeah. Brian, let's play this next call.

Hi, Jordan. Hi, Jesse. Hi, guest, whoever that is. I'm going to say John Hodgman. Close. Close. So I have a momentous occasion. I was just biking in the...

My name's Adam. I live in Taipei. I was just biking on the Riverside Park, and I came by a small fire, and I put it out. Yeah. Using some buckets of water from a nearby garden. Hell yeah.

The police came and said, okay, thanks. And then left. So hopefully it doesn't start up again. I guess I have to get back to my bike ride. Nice. It's a great way to ring out the ear. Hard as a mountain and quite literally wet as a river. I'm by the river and I used water to put out this fire. Is that too on the nose?

Anyways, love the show. Bye guys. To be clear, you're hitting the streets. Sure. That's the slogan for this year. Maybe it was just because of what we had been talking about. And again, this listener has not heard this episode yet. It's not even out yet.

I'll play it for him thank you um but i where i just brian book me passage to taipei why didn't that guy start with sex shit yeah i thought we were going to he's like i hooked up with a girl for the first time with my cum where i thought we were going And I was disappointed when it was just with water. Boring old water. I know. I want to snooze. Buckets of water from a nearby garden. Yeah. Come on, man.

Jack off on a fire and join a thruple, baby. Yeah. It's the 90s. Punch it up. We're all jacking off on fires, joining thruples. Come on. It's 93, man. Yeah.

Jurassic Park's coming out soon. Let's all go see it, baby. Hip hop hooray. Sure. You got to get home in time for Charles Leguizamo's House of Buggin'. I think the last episode of Charles in Charge is happening. Yeah. End of an era. Yeah.

Love that show. That guy seemed really nice. He did seem nice. Didn't he? I mean, that's our listeners. You know, I think they're a nice bunch. That was a really nice. He did seem nice. Didn't he? I mean, that's our listeners. You know, I think they're a nice bunch. That was a nice guy. A lot of trivia fans, a lot of board game fans, and a lot of people who are challenging typical norms of what it means to be in a relationship.

Also, a lot of people who are abroad and lonely. Yeah, that was maybe. Just want to hear English. Right. Yeah. And hey, you got to give it to us. We do speak English. Yeah.

I love it. That's great. Guilty as charged. Yeah. Oh, my God. Love it. No French on this show. Anyway.

Well, we had a great time. We had a lot of fezzes. I love you both. Yeah. Thank you. This was fun. I loved it. So here's what we're going to do.

We're going to take a break, and then we're going to wrap it up. Oh, really? Oh. So let's take a break. Let's take a break, and then we're going to wrap it up. I don't want to get in just a second. It's okay. You don't know the format of the show.

I'm not dictating the pace. That's all I know, and I should have really. John, it's fine. Okay. We're going to take a break, and then we're going to wrap it up. Thank you. It's fine. Go play your fucking saxophone.

We'll be back in just a second on George. See you. Shit. Go play your fucking saxophone. We'll be back in just a second. Hi, it's me, Paula Poundstone. And it's me, Adam Felber. We have a podcast called Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. It's a comedy podcast where we bring on experts to teach us stuff we need to know. And, by the way, the guy who came to tell us what to do when you encounter a bear never showed up. Anyway, it's fun.

You are guaranteed laughs in every episode. You can't really guarantee laughs. What if somebody doesn't laugh? We'll get sued. Join us for our next episode when we have an expert in consumer law explain to us how to defend ourselves against one humorless litigious shut-in with enough time on their hands to sue us over our unfulfilled claim of guaranteed lapse in every episode here at MaximumFun.org. The Cat of the Week is Mabel from Green Bank, West Virginia.

Mmm, this cocoa is perfect, honey. Well, thanks, babe, but the kids made it. Sherry, Kevin, how are your Max Fun Drive decorations coming along? I made a giant enamel pin for all of us to put at the top of the rocket. But, moms, I always put the pin on the top of the rocket myself. Oh, Kevin, honey, it's time to start sharing these things. Whatever. The pod fairy isn't real.

Mama and mommy pay for our quality podcasts. Mommy? Mama? Is the pod fairy fake? Well, sweetie, the truth is no one pod fairy could make all the wonderful shows you love to listen to. And it's true. Your mommy and I choose to pay a small monthly amount to make sure those shows exist.

Hmm. I guess it does take a lot of work and resources to create a podcast, from generating ideas and booking guests and writing scripts and editing. Yes, honey. That's very important. And starting March 18th, we can listen to the year's best MaxFunDrive shows knowing that we're helping make them happen. We wish you a great MaxFunDrive and a cool and normal day. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, troublemaker. John Daly.

Peter Sagal. I got to tell you guys, if you're biking along a riverfront path in Taipei and you see a small fire, you better hope there's some fucking buckets in that garden. Yeah. Because you're going to want to put that fire out, baby. Can't let Taipei burn down. Because you're going to want to put that fire out, baby. Can't let type A burn down. That, by the way, also is like one of the best Jordan Jesse Go calls if we ever need to pitch new storylines for Tintin.

Right, sure. Or possibly. No, that's not boring enough to be in Tintin. Get the buckets of water, Snowy. Something happened in that. Curious George books. Curious Georgia. Oh, no, a fire.

John, I'm trying to take the heat off your Doctor Who thing by bagging on tin tins. I want the people to come at me and not you. I want to take that from you. Maybe there's some tin heads out there. Oh, you know there's some tin heads listening. Hey, tin heads. It's tan tan. Hey, tin heads, your comic's

boring. It's a snooze. Like Paddington. Anyway. I'm just trying to take the heat. Thank you. Did you loop Paddington into your things you're taking the heat on? No. Listen, I know that people love those Paddington movies.

I've not seen them. Yeah, they're very fun. People love to tweet. You don't need to see them. They're for children, but they are really fun. Yeah. But I guess to me, and I've talked about this on the show before, that I regard Tintin, Paddington, Babar, Little Prince as like boring European children stuff that was pushed on me as a kid and I resented. Yeah.

Babar, definitely. The Little Prince is extraordinarily boring. Yeah. The bars of snooze. The Little Prince is extraordinarily boring. Yeah. But I love the movie with Gene Wilder when I was a kid and that weird little boy. And it was cool. And they had that evil snake in the grass guy.

And I loved it, but it is horrible. And the book, yeah, is a total snooze, but it's a cool idea. God. And sent X. God bless him. I read it to my daughter a year ago, and I was so mad at it. The whole time I was reading it, she was confused. I was like, I don't feel like I can bail on this because it'll just mean that anytime we're reading a book and she gets a little bored, she's going to want to bail on it.

And that's going to be like a lifelong problem for her reading or whatever. After he cooks on the volcano, you're like, I'm done. That's cool. He cooks on a volcano. All right. He thinks of a few cute things, but what's the point of the whole fucking thing? Existence. Preaching to the choir, baby.

Yeah. It's garbage. Hey, Santax, hang up your quills. You suck. I'll tell you one thing. I'll tell you one thing about Babar, though, okay? Yeah. Oh, man. Babar in general.

Now, here's the Babar chunk. Wise old Babar. Babar in general is pretty whack. It looks really cool. I think the aesthetics of Babar- It's iconic. Is fucking dope. Yeah.

Babar is a cool-ass elephant. Yeah. And all his elephant friends also are fucking turnt out like that fucking elephant general and shit. Yeah. They all look killer. Okay? The original Babar book is just the most fucked up colonialist bullshit in the history of the world. You read it, you're like, what the fuck like this is just like this is like the most literal parable about like taking savages

from the jungle and turning them into frenchmen that you've ever read in your entire life oh is that what it is yeah it is so fucked and then there's these other babars which are substantially boring but there's this one called babar and the woolly woolly and then that one ritaxis king of the rhinos, tries to steal this Wooly Wooly because he doesn't know how to make friends. And the fucking, Ritaxis has this bedspread that is so dope that it makes up for everything else in the entire Babar series. And he lives in a sweet pyramid. And he's got a cool fucking rhino army hat. That's your opinion, man. But then they're like in the balloon

and it's like then the queen uh said oh it is quite a nice view it is a nice view jam on sunday yeah all those books jam on sunday toast and jam jiminy crickets t'wasn't never had jam on a Sunday. You still got jam on your trunk because you're an elephant, Babar. To the wash basin with me. T'was? Yeah, I was a kid. I was snoozing. Let me watch Mask or G.I. Joe. Put on some masks.

Put on some masks, man. Fucking masks. Cars. Cars. A motorcycle helicopter. Cars had guns. Cars had guns. A motorcycle helicopter, dude.

It's both at the same time. Dude, the ejector seat, from the ejector seat to the motorcycle helicopter. Can I tell you one thing? Marmalade on my linens? Twas. Oh. All those. Madeline, by the way.

Madeline. Yeah. Fuck. I hate it. Can you imagine if Jordan had to read Moomins? If Jordan was out here reading Moomins. That's boring. That's fucking, that's that same shit.

Father's Snuffbox? Twas? Twasn't? On Father's Snuffbox? Twas. Jordan got too close to the Moomins. Moomins sounds like a snooze. He's falling asleep over here thinking about the Moomins.

John Daly. Put on some masks. Popeye also weird in an old time way. With those like clones that run around with like the big noses. They're just these. They just go like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. It's like really disturbing and old. Oh, yeah.

Eugene the Jeep. Sure. Yeah, yeah. He's just really disturbing and old. Oh, yeah. Eugene the Jeep. Sure. Yeah, yeah. He's just muttering to himself. He seems insane. My one opinion about Popeye that I have. Yeah. Why does he talk like that?

What a fucking asshole. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Enunciate. You know what I mean? Escalier. Bully, bully. Oh, boy.

Yeah. Yeah. Give me a break, dude. Yeah. Fucking talk regular. Project. Just talk regular, dude. Talk regular, man.

And you know what? Fucking Daffy Duck, man. Sure. Talk regular, dude. I can hardly tell what you're saying, dude. Whoa. You're being a little bit problematic about people with speech impediments. Seriously, though.

I think he sounds beautiful. I think he sounds beautiful. I think he sounds beautiful. Seriously, though. Porky Pig, stick with one descriptor. Yeah, fucking talk regular, dude. Talk regular. Talk regular, Porky Pig. Talk normal, right?

That's the Porky Pig game. Talk normal. Sorry. My bad. And Bugs Bunny. See, that's the Porky Pig game. Talk rag. Normal. Sorry. My bad. And Bugs Bunny. See, that's the good stuff. All right. Let's just talk about the good stuff because that was just empty cartoons.

John Daly's out here writing bits for Porky. I mean, why not? That's what podcasts are for, right? For finding Porky. When's the last time we heard from Porky? That's all, folks. I can't really do it. That was like SoCal Porky? Yeah. When's the last time we heard from Porky? That's all, folks. I can't relate to it. That was like SoCal Porky.

Besides the new Mary Melodies film that you're writing. Yes. Where else can our audience find their regular doses of Mr. Jonathan Daly? Just follow my Twitter. I put all my stuff out on J-O-N-D-A-a-l-y john daly at john daly and my instagram is john daly graham and um yeah i got lots of stuff coming out lots of videos dropping and what about this what about this sweet album when are we gonna get our get our little our our little liquors on that dropping singles because that's the way you do it and then i'll

put the album out later this year great um if you you're in Los Angeles, come see my show at the Satellite March 19th and every month. You servicing radio with that? R&B? Am I servicing radio? What does that mean? Are you going to be going to have some song pushers working that? Yeah, it's all payola

for me. I'm just going to be under the table. Sure. Under the table pay. That's where Tom Bodette likes to be. That's right. I just fucked around with the guy. And he gave me a radio spot. Yeah, trying to get it out there. So, love it. I love music.

I love comedy. And I love you guys. I love you, John. Sure. I love Jordan and I love Jesse. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah. We're a throuple. I would you, John. I love Jordan, and I love Jesse. Let's go. We're a throuple. Yay! Oh, that would be great. Why not? Communication, though, it's key.

Yeah, you gotta be like, what are your parameters? And I'll be like, what are yours? And let's both say our parameters at the same time. Yeah. One, two, three. Parameters. Sorry, guys, I can't be in a thrumple. My website is built in WordPress.

Different CMS. Boy. That's a joke for all of us. We all love it. We all love it equally. If you are in the L.A. area, I am going to be doing our buddy Joseph Scrimshaw's show at Geeky Teas and Games. This is the game night variety show. I don't know exactly what we're going to be doing.

We're going to be goofing around with some sort of games. They have a funny bunch of guests for that. That is March 22nd, 8 p.m. at Geeky Teas and Games in Burbank. Eight bucks. And, yeah, I think you can go to Brown Paper Tickets to get those tickets. So come to that. It's on the 22nd. Sounds sweet.

It's going to be sweet. Can you get teas there? I think so. One would hope. Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer. You can find us on Twitter at Jesse Thorne and at Jordan underscore Morris. Hashtag your Jordan Jesse Go tweets. Hashtag JJ Go.

Call us, 206-9844-FUN, or just send us a voice memo from your telephone to jjgo at maximumfun.org. Next week is the Max Fun Drive. I hope you will join us there. It is going to be a hoot and a half. Maybe even a hoot and a holler. Hard to say for sure.

Yeah, tune in to find out. Can I tell you something that happened on our Reddit, going to be a hoot and a half. Maybe even a hoot and a holler. Hard to say for sure. Tune in to find out. Can I tell you something that happened on our Reddit, MaximumFun.reddit.com? That'd be great. There was a little discussion of what is a good example of something cutty, something being cutty, which I think is Northern California slang. Do people say cutty in Southern California when you're on KC? Yeah. It means not as good, cut rate, half-assed.

Well, it means it's coming out to cuts. Maybe I don't know what it means. Is that what it means? Am I using it right? You're right in about the same. Yeah. I thought that was like David Fincher. It's a little cutty.

Oh, sure. Lots of edits. Bad David Fincher. Yeah. Got it. It's a cutty. Got it. Like Fincher. Kind of cutty. It's a cutty. Got it. Like Fincher.

Kind of cutty. Too many cuts. Or YouTube vlogs. A lot of cuts in those. Right. A lot of YouTube vlog cuts. David Fincher's YouTube vlogs are a little much, I think. Yeah.

Love it when he eats those hot peppers. Really disorienting. Somebody said when they were in high school, they were at a party in Marin County. Mm-hmm. Sort of in the woods in marin county and a kid just kind of drifted out of a bush holding an open 40 that was cutty as fuck okay hella cutty as we would have said sounds like it hella cutty dude came straight out is that cool that means he's cool no that means he's cool? No, that means he's fucking questionable. Yeah, okay.

Sketchy. Just mad. Yeah. Sus. Yeah. Sus. Yeah. Very sus. Sounds like a real sus.

Susp. Susp. Susp. That's short for Suspira. Yeah. So, the show's over then. So, how do we end? I'm nervous.

I'm nervous. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, Go. Good night. Thanks, guys. Bye.