Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 575: False Grandma with Riley Silverman

Episode Date: March 19, 2019

Riley Silverman (Troubled Waters, SYFY Fangrrls) joins Jordan and Jesse for our first MaxFunDrive episode of 2019! They get into Jordan's most recent attempt to retain his status as a fun guy, the bloodsport that is shopping at the Super King grocery store in Jesse's neighborhood, and whether or not the drug rug demographic is enough to best the people who own fezes.  Plus, we unveil the amazing Jordan, Jesse, Go! pin that you can get during the Max Fun Drive and all the other cool stuff up for grabs this year. Go to MaximumFun.org/Donate right now to support the show!   And let us know if you've ever worn bowling shoes in your every day life -- 206-984-4FUN or [e-mail]!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, aka Lil Dumplin. Jordan Morris, sobered up in time for the podcast. Yeah, now we're talking, Jordan. We're both here having fun. Of course. Who's having more fun than us? No one.

Well, maybe Chrissy Teigen and John Legend. They always seem like they're having fun, don't they? I feel like all they really have to do to have a great time is disrobe and go to town. Sure. Like, if you're them. Sure. Come on. What could be?

I mean, I know, like, at their age, you know, this is probably a once a day thing. Oh, yeah. You know. I mean, they're busy. And it's hard to find the time to disrobe and go to town. Well, they have assistants. Oh, that's true. So maybe they do it once a day and then their assistants do it once a day.

Do you think that like, so just to kind of keep things interesting, it's a kind of a combination of disrobing and going to town and then getting Disney passes and getting really into collecting the pins. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. You know, if you're a famous person, you can go to Disneyland and they just give you a guy, and the guy just says, whatever you want, I'll make it happen. I mean, I'm not talking about weird stuff. Right. I mean, I guess. I'm not going to put, he's not going to put Batman in a Marvel movie for you.

No, but they. That would be confusing. They'd probably slip a little booze into your mint julep. Okay. You know what I mean? In New Orleans? You're talking about outside of California Adventure

where booze is legal. Yeah, I'm talking about at New Orleans- In the park proper. New Orleans Square where you can get that gross mint julep- Boy. That doesn't have any booze in it. Do you think they would also slip a little booze

into your clam chowder at a bread bowl? Absolutely. I think they'd slip. For a certain tier of celebrity, for a Chrissy Teigen level celebrity, they will Irish up your clam chowder. You know, I went to Disneyland once with John Stamos. He asked for clams in his Dole Whip and they said, absolutely, Mr. Stamos. Wow. Wow. So you can add

booze to clams or you can add clams to other things? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. God, I gotta get famous. It's like if you have the guy that takes you through Disneyland. Yeah. You're talking about Stitch, right? This is Stitch?

Yeah, this is Stitch. Of Lilo and Stitch. Okay. This is Stitch. Stitch hasn't been up to much the last five or ten years. Yeah, he's like a Disney docent now. The guy, when you go to get the Dole Whip, they show you a kind of like a Yogurtland-style Toppins bar for your Dole Whip. It's mostly seafood,

but it's not all seafood. Right. A little Siffy J. And this is something that civilians don't get to see. Yeah. I mean,

because the thing is, is the civilians might freak out if you told them that the lime juice cooks the fish. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah, they can't handle that. They can't deal with that. So what kind of perks will be available in Star Wars Galaxy's Edge when it opens up later this year? That's an interesting question. I mean, when you're talking Star Wars, of course, you're going to be talking spice. The galaxy is at war over spice. Oh, you're thinking of Dune.

Thinking of Dune. Thinking of Dune. Okay. Yeah. I think it's something where- Jordan? Yeah? You're talking Star Wars.

You're going to be talking teleporters. I think you're thinking of Star Trek, although I don't know. There could be teleporters in Star Wars. It's not an area where I can go super deep. Oh, I thought of a Star Trek food. Okay. Tea, Earl Grey. Hot.

That's what Captain Picard says when he wants his tea. That's boring. Yeah. We had some Star Trek tea here at the office and it said that and I asked Danny what it meant. Oh, that's nice. He told me all about it. Whew. Whew.

Whew. Whew. Yeah. Anyway, I decided, this is a little bit of a first for me, not a first, but something I have not done recently, that I had been thinking to myself that I am not as fun as I used to be. Oh, wow. I've been fun in my life.

Now I'm not so fun. Are you now, Jordan? Yeah. I think you're definitely still fun compared to most. Well. Maybe not compared to old Jordan, but like. Right. Have you met like the lady that runs the convenience store?

I don't, listen, I'm using myself as the barometer. I can't control what others do. Right. Something I've learned in therapy. I can only control me. Compare yourself, say, to the Secretary of State. Sure. Are you fun compared to that person?

Whoever that is, I don't know. Well, I mean, I think at this point. Mike Pompeo? I think at this point, the Secretary of State could be a former American gladiator. The Secretary of State. Laser! Yeah, exactly. So maybe he's more fun than me.

Yeah. So, yeah. Well, certainly if there's a man-sized hamster ball around. Right. It's someone shooting tennis balls at-sized hamster ball around. Right. It's someone shooting tennis balls at you out of a hydraulic cannon. Yeah. That's what the State Department is now, right? Just someone shooting you with tennis balls out of a hydraulic cannon?

Yeah. The State Department is all – takes place at halftime at an Atlanta Hawks game. So I was thinking about how I don't feel like I've been fun recently. When people ask me what I've done over the weekend, it's just a list of things I've done in Dark Souls 3. You know, upgrading my great sword. Well, I mean, that's nothing to sneeze at. Yeah.

Defeating the curse-rotted Greatwood. Things like this. Do you think Mike Pompeo has defeated the curse-rotted great wood? No. No. No. I know Pompeo is not only has he defeated the curse-rotted great wood, but he's defeated three of the four lords of Cinder. Including Aldrich the Devourer of Gods.

Wow. All that's left is Block. What's that mean? That's the fourth lord of Cinder. Block? Yeah, Cinder. Block? Yeah, Cinder Block. Oh, I see what you're getting at. I'm like, Jesse, I haven't beaten the game, but I know that block isn't one of the Lords of Cinder.

Yeah. You're making a pun. Oh. So I decided to go have a drink for St. Paddy's Day, which is when, where, when, which, why, why, which. Worst. Worst. Where is worst we're recording? Worst.

Yeah. And I was responsible enough to head on home, have a little coffee, so I could sober up before the podcast. So did you have- So I've been fun and responsible today. Did you have like a midday alcohol? It was a two. It was a 2. It was a 2 p.m. alcohol.

You know what they say. What do they say? I don't know. Something at 2 o'clock somewhere? Yeah, that's what Jimmy Buffett's brother says. That's what Bill Buffett says. It's 2 o'clock here, I believe, is the saying. Right. So anyway, I'm feeling good about myself.

I'm having a little coffee, making sure I can, you know, coast. Keep the energy up. Keep the energy up. Keep the goofs coming. Keep on remembering things that I've done in Dark Souls. Did you go for St. Patrick's Day? Did you do a St. Patrick's style imbibation? Well, here's what I did.

I met my – oh, past guest on this show, Andy Wood, who is the person I know who is still fun. And we met at the Village Idiot, which is a British-style pub. And we had a couple of bass ales, which is a British style ale, and we listened to a bagpipe player who is Scottish. So no, we didn't do any Irish shit. It was a tribute to Britain's domination of the Irish. Yeah, it was.

So we really celebrated the oppression. You had a colonialist theme. With some generally European-y things. That's beautiful. We had a lot of fun. That's nice. But it was reasonable and we called it an afternoon at a reasonable time.

Let's introduce our guest on the program. I'd love to. You know her as a beloved regular guest on Jordan Jesse Go. You know her for her work on International Waters, now Troubled Waters, on the Maximum Fun Podcast Network. You know her as a

stand-up comic. You know her as a stand-up lady. Riley Silverman. Hello. Hi, Rye. When you said stand-up lady, I literally had a wink and a finger gun. I feel like that's something you have to do when that's being said. Thank you. Thank you very much. The official hand gesture of stand-up people

everywhere. You know it. Yeah, there it is. Your story reminded me of last week when we were having fun by having brunch together. Yeah. Along with our mutual friend and member of the MaxFun family and beloved star of our, I don't know, I'm thinking words, Sarah Morgan. Oh, yeah. She was talking about how she had made the mistake of coming to the States one time on St. Patrick's Day and not realizing it and then realizing she was wearing green by accident and just feeling like that total internal conflict of being a British person suddenly celebrating and like the caricaturization of the Irish and how like – I was like that's a level of like – it's like being American being like, say good to Mayo and thinking you're really clever and cool but wearing a sombrero. Oh, yeah. But with white people on white people crime and it was very fascinating.

I think that we have probably, I probably brought this up on the show before but my stepmother with whom I grew up who married my dad when I was seven or something is Irish and she is not a woman without rage overall. However, the whitest and hottest of her rage is reserved for Americans doing Irish stuff. Ah, sure, sure. Like there is nothing.

How does she feel about the Dropkick Murphys? Do you remember when River. She liked their first album. Second album was a little bit. Yeah, yeah. The first album was a little more punk and then they kind of leaned into the Irish thing. Yeah, a little too much. Do you remember when Riverdance was big? Oh... Yeah, yeah. The first album was a little more punk and then they kind of leaned into the Irish thing. Yeah, a little too much. Do you remember

when Riverdance was big? Oh, yeah, sure. Irish step dancing had taken America by storm. That was like literally two years of my stepmother's life where there was like

a crackling sub-rage under all her day-to-day behavior. I think... At allday behavior. I think. At all times. And I think, Riley, you're right to mention Cinco de Mayo, or as I like to call it, Cinco de Drinko. Yeah. You're right to mention that in this conversation. drinking holidays are tied to something cultural that is now problematic or something that

is problematic when it's celebrated by people who are not of that culture. So I feel like can we just institute some new drinking holidays that aren't tied to anything? Yeah, because Cinco de Mayo, if you ask most people drinking on Cinco de Mayo what they're even celebrating, they have literally no idea. Margs, baby. It's Mexican Independence Day. Margs, squawk! Yeah. That's why, like, when people get really mad about the really

nerdy rise of May the 4th be with you, which I know people find really annoying, I'm all for it, because I'm like, yes, let's have that be the thing we move that weekend's drinking to. Oh! Should we all just get fucked up on Star Wars Day? Yes, let's just have blue milk drinks or whatever and just get, and like, let's just have blue milk drinks or whatever and just get,

and like, let's have a thing that, yeah, and like, just let's make that a thing. Let's make that the white privilege holiday. I celebrated May the 4th myself. I went into a bar in my neighborhood.

A bartender said, what do you have? I said, tea, Earl Grey. Live long and prosper. I thought maybe you went to an Empire bar with Empire music playing. Can I tell you how bad I am at celebrating a holiday with food and drink associated with it? It was Pi Day recently.

Oh, yeah. March 14th. That's fun. My daughter goes to a math and science engineering-focused school. And so they were doing a big Pi Day celebration. So it was the talk of the household was that it was going to be Pi Day. She was going to have pi in school, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And my wife and I had an appointment first thing in the morning, a parent-teacher conference for our middle child.

And we got out of that at like 10.30. We're in – find ourselves in Pasadena, California. We realized if we went right then to have lunch, if we had an 11 a.m. lunch, then we're all set. We can eat together like adult human beings have a nice time like we love each other. So we went to Pasadena's best restaurant, Pie and Burger. Sure. We all know that.

Yeah. You didn't need to, I mean, is it almost, is it like, is there a restaurant creeping up on it? Yes. And it's that BJ's that's in that building that was formerly a bank.

And it's weirdly beautiful inside. You know, the beautiful BJ's. Jordan, I think and it's weirdly beautiful inside you know the beautiful bjs jordan i think all bjs are beautiful yeah sure yeah but that one that's in that bank so uh we went and had cheeseburgers and i ordered a side of potato salad now jordan i don't know if you know this about me but i'll eat any amount of potato salad put in front of me. You've mentioned. Yeah. And by the time I finished my potato salad, they came back and they offered us pie. And I said, no, that's okay.

It was only 1140 in the morning. Sure. I'll just take a pint of potato salad to go. I'll eat it between my legs while I drive. With a straw. The woman, the waitress, looked me in the eyes and she said really because it's pie day mmm and I felt like I had right come into the pie

mecca of all Pasadena California and just just sprayed cake all over everyone like a fucking cake sprayer yeah a potato salad cake like it was halftime at an Atlanta Hawks game spraying spraying your cake all over the crowd shooting tennis balls out of a hydraulic cannon oh boy do you see you didn't get the pie I didn't end up getting the pie. I had eaten too much potato salad. Had I been thinking about it, I'd have left out the potato salad. I'd have had room for pie.

I maybe would have got a banana cream pie, which I'm into lately. That's a good kind of pie. That's good. Cream pies in general, pretty good. I know. I'm a fan. I'm glad we're kind of on the topic or kind of near the topic of, uh, nerd shit. Uh, finally.

I know. Right. Oh my gosh. Because I've, you know, last week on the show, we had a guest. Um, I'm not going to say his name because I don't want to invite scorn upon him or more scorn than he's already experienced. It was the comedian earthquake. It was earthquake.

Yes. Earthquake came on was Earthquake. Yes. Earthquake came on the show and shook things up about- Good night, everybody. Thank you, Lorne. The cast. New York City. Greatest city in the world. It was doing the end of Saturday Night Live. Oh, we got it.

Earthquake was here and he really shook things up by coming out as anti-Doctor Who. And, you know, it's the Max Fund Drive, and we're not looking to alienate anybody this time of year. But, you know, we don't want to censor our guests. We love free speech. Yeah, sure. Us and Twitter. Yeah. We're all about free speech.

Yeah. We got Mike Pompeo coming in next week. Yeah. Sure. Us and Twitter. Yeah. We're all about free speech. Yeah. We got Mike Pompeo coming in next week. Sure. Yeah. Talk about his time as a gladiator. Yeah. Fascinating stories. It'll bring a giant Q-tip.

It'll hit us in the head with it. But we realized that that anti-Doctor Who stance probably enraged 90% of the audience? I mean, it was on an episode where we learned that, what was it, a hundred Jordan Jesse Go listeners had fezzes. Right. And it was because, it was not because Doctor Who, there's many doctors from Doctor Who. Look, I don't need to tell you this, Riley. Yeah.

In case anyone's curious, I am very pro-Doctor Who. Right. Is that why I'm booked on the show? Do we need a pro-Doctor Who contingent? That's kind of what – listen, it's not – we booked you because you're a hilarious comedian and a beloved member of the Max Fund family. But it does not hurt that we have someone who not only is a Doctor Who, I'm going to say encyclopedia, but also someone who is currently playing Doctor Who on a role-playing podcast. Yeah, that's true. One of my three role-playing shows that I'm on right now and I'm the Doctor, which is ridiculous. That's what my career is now, which is – I'm loving it.

What was amazing to me about learning about this Fez thing, I assumed one of the Doctor Whos wore a Fez. Yeah. In the way that I know there's one of the Doctor Whos wears a famous scarf. Yeah. Riley, what can you tell us about these doctors and these articles of clothing? Well, you are correct. One of the doctors definitely wore a scarf. Actually, multiple doctors, but one is the very famous one you're thinking of. And then there's a doctor who occasionally put on a fez as a gag. Like, he wore a bow tie, and he would say, I wear a bow tie because bow ties are cool. And it became a thing where he would occasionally

put on a ridiculous item of clothing, like a Stetson or a fez, and say, I wear a Stetson now, Stetsons are cool. I wear a fez now, fezes are cool. And then they did, like, a quick tie-in to that in the most recent season where the new doctor got a package in the mail from a fictional version of amazon called kerblam and when she opened the package it was a fez and the

idea was like oh it just finally arrived i ordered this a long time ago and just finally found me or whatever so this is a good piece of business yeah i like that so the point of this story is this isn't the this isn't the everyday costume of this one Doctor Who. Like, look, I know that if we said how many people out there have Stormtrooper outfits or whatever, then, yeah, it would be a lot of people. You'd get 501, exactly. It would be a lot of people because all of the Stormtroopers all wear a Stormtrooper outfit all the time.

You know what I mean? Except for when the one good guy wears a Stormtrooper outfit and he took his hat off. Sure. We all remember that iconic Star Wars scene. There is that scene. No, you're right. It's like one of the heroes of the new trilogy.

No, you're right. So the guy from Attack the Block. Yeah. So anyway. Which the Doctor was in. There you go. Jodie Whittaker, the new Doctor, was in that movie.

This is fun. The point is, this isn't even a thing that even so there's many doctor who's we're only talking about one of them yeah how many doctor who's are there 30 there are 14 canon ones 14 so wait 14 that have the hydraulic tennis ball cannon so if we were going to expand it to include doctors who were maybe part of some sort of extended canon, how many would there be? Oh, God. Off the top of my head, I can go – there's at least probably 19 because there was a sketch that they filmed for the Save the Children thing, the Red Nose special, whatever they – back in the break in between when the show was off and when it was back on, where they like had a bunch of actors go like successfully through a parody of Doctor Who. We're like this, like Hugh Grant was in it and Rowan Atkinson was in it.

And Joanna Lumley was the 13th Doctor in that one. So she was also the first female doctor. And so like it went through each one. And like the joke was like the doctor kept getting killed in the middle of the thing and then we regenerate into a new doctor so wait so there's a certain certain kind of doctor who fan who considers those all doctors yeah for sure wow and then there's also there was an attempt in the 60s to make a movie series out of the tv show when it was still a really new show and all they did was refilm a serial of the show and put it in color and then they had, I'm thinking of his name now, which is going to make Peter Cushing from Star Wars

play the Doctor and he played it like a different, he basically was the first Doctor in a different format and a lot of people consider Peter Cushing an official Doctor. Peter Cushing in Star Wars played Grand Mothra. Yes. Yes. So it's one of the Doctor Who's

one thirtieth of the total number of Doctor Who. So it's one of the Doctor Whos, 1 30th of the total number of Doctor Whos, and it's an outfit he wears very occasionally as a joke. Yeah, it's a gag, yeah. And it gets shot off his head by his own wife. It's not the bow tie. No. Apparently this Doctor Who always wore a bow tie. This is his signature outfit.

So if you're going to go to a con dress, is this thing you're going to bring that bow tie? Yeah, for sure. The fez is an optional accessory to one of the 75 different Doctor Whos. We had 100 different people who had one for that reason. He was a very popular Doctor Who cosplayer. And a couple who were like Tiki Bar guys. Mm-hmm.

Those two things. Good job, everybody. Yeah, it was great. Mm-hmm. Those two things. Good job, everybody. Yeah, it was great. How does one play the doctor in a role-playing podcast?

I think maybe I don't understand enough about role-playing and how you do it on a podcast. What is that like? Jordan, I should let you know there's a fantastic role-playing podcast you can listen to right here on the MaxFun Network called The Adventure Zone. Have not heard of it. Well, it's very popular. You should check it out. It's actually really good. I guess people like it. Yeah. Maybe not because they stopped doing their Jumbotrons because there wasn't enough people wanting to play for it.

So that was definitely why. I only listen to the daily. So the way that it works, it's almost just like Honestly, you said what was that? Podcast? Yeah. Yeah.

Couldn't tell you what that is. No, it's fine. What if I don't have an iPod? Well, you should listen to this show Serial. It invented this form of communication. Great. So the way you – essentially a role-playing game podcast is almost like doing an improvised podcast. You just are doing it within the realm of having a structure that's based on

like a role-playing game so like there is a published doctor who role-playing game that has rules and and like structure to it and has like character sheets you can fill out like you're playing dnd but for doctor who and so we just we have a person on our show uh it's actually a max fun listener ben padden who's a big fan of adventure zone which is part of why he got the idea for doing this show and basically yeah we we sit we record, and he and his co-producer, Michael Nixon, they write a basic framework plot. And then it's myself and two other cast members, Melinda Gross and Dan Peck. And we go through the scenarios and we make our own decisions in the world they create. And then based on what we decide to do, they improvise to kind of keep us following the very framework plot they have.

I have a question. Yeah. Do you – is it Doctor Who world that you're in? Yes. It's Doctor Who world. So it's Spice and the whole – Yeah. Well, it's Spice world actually.

Very cheeky. We're playing in the fictional reality of the film. So Mark McKinney is there. Yeah. We're playing within the world of Spice world. So you're sort of is there. Yeah. We're playing within the world of Spice World. So you're sort of playing within that world, but you're also in a way playing with that world. Right. So I'm playing the doctor, but I'm also playing Baby Spice.

Got it. It's a scenario where Baby Spice is the doctor. Gotcha. Sounds confusing. Yeah. Well, you know, if you don't know what podcasts are, I guess I'll be constantly- Yeah, I know. Pretty much either way, you're going to want Rowan Atkinson in there.

Yeah. You got to get Rowan in there. Well, he is in there, but he just doesn't speak ever on the mic. There you go. He's actually playing Mr. Bean. He's just a turkey on his head the whole time. You all just say, get that turkey off your head, Mr. Bean. We're trying to do sound checks, and you can't hear him through it.

Jesse, did you have a dumpling-related story? I was guessing by your nickname at the top. I just ate a lot of pelmeni. It's like Eastern European Russian-type dumpling. Right. You know, there's this grocery store by my house called The Super King. This grocery store is a miracle. Yeah, it is amazing.

My wife won't go there because they once double-charged her credit card and then wouldn't give her the money back but that said if you can make it into the parking lot sometimes I accidentally go on coupon day there's like a day when the coupons come out and the old lady's

fighting for parking spaces he's out of control full contact? I'm talking about like a line of 15 or 20 cars down the road out of the large parking lot of this supermarket on coupon day because, you know, Pomelos are two for one. Yeah. But, yeah, it's an amazing grocery store. I love going to this grocery store. And what I will do is it carries a lot of Near Eastern foods and a lot of like Slavic and Russian and the whole – anything serviced by erotic Istanbul. Okay. All know? Okay. All those trade routes.

Sure. Some of my favorite routes. Love sailing around the horn. So, like, if you want ice cream that tastes like a flower. I do not, but continue. It's fucking dope. One would. Sounds good.

There's multiple different flower-flavored ice creams. Just to be clear, you're talking about flowers, like things that bloom, not like flour, like a powdery thing that you use to make bread. Yeah, yeah. Flour, the stuff that's made out of ground wheat. But you make it into a roux first. You have to brown it. Yeah. And then you will roux the day you enjoy that ice cream.

I went to a place that had famous rose water-flavored ice cream. Oh, yeah. And I tried it. Moshy Malone's. Oh. A beloved institution. Oh, yeah. And I tried it. Moshy Malone's. Oh. A beloved institution. I went somewhere else. I tried it. I had a taste.

And I'm like, well, you also have peanut butter. So. Yeah. That's how I feel always. I'm glad you have this. A lot of different. That's cool. A lot of different.

You were able to do this. There's some products that there are rival versions of. Each nation has its own. Yogurt is a big one. There's a big- Mimi Pond, past Bullseye guest, cartoonist Mimi Pond, real legendary comics writer. And Simpsons writer wrote the- What's the dog called?

Daddy's Little Helper. Yes? Daddy's Little Helper. Yes, Daddy's Little Helper. It's Poochie. The dog's name is Poochie. Santa's Little Helper. She wrote the Santa's Little Helper episode of The Simpsons. Anyway, Mimi did a great- There are several Santa's Little Helper episodes.

But the one where they get him. Oh, okay. The one where they get him. The Christmas special. That's like the first episode. That's a really old one, yeah. She wrote that. It's great.

But anyway, she- A classic. She wrote that. She's great. But anyway, she... A classic. She made a comic once that was just all about just breaking down the yogurt area of the Super King. Sure.

Because it is an area, I'm going to say approximately 25 feet in length. If you imagine a 25 foot dairy case that's all just different kinds of yogurt. Halva is another one. Sure. There's a very large halva area and, you know, very intense. And there's a dumpling area. And I'll just go in there and just pick some dumplings out of there. And I got some pelmeni last time I was there.

As far as yogurt goes, I like this brand of yogurt that's spelled F-A-G-E. But I'm afraid that I'll enter into a situation where I have to say it out loud, and I don't know how. I think it's F-A-G-E, but I think I'm the same way. I'm like, I don't know, and I'm afraid to call it by anything. Yeah. Fage? Oh, that sounds bad to me, too.

Any way to pronounce it sounds wrong. I think it's F-A-G-E, but when I went to Super King, I remember it was a thing where, like, friends were going as a group. Like, we're all going to go because only one car could take us all at once because of the parking lot situation. And I remember that the lunch meat counter was so massive. And the way that it worked is, like, they had to take a number system. But you would, like, basically take your number and then walk around the store. And they would, like, eventually page you over the system when your number was up because the line for the deli counter was that long.

the system when your number was up because the line for the deli counter was that long. One good reason to bring multiple people with you to the Super King is so as in like, you know, 19th century college football, you can use the strategy where one person carries the ball and everyone else grabs onto their belt and you just barrel through. Because the number of grandmas, all of the world's grandmas are represented at the Super King and they will all hit you. They are not afraid to. I've been hit so many. Throwing bows is the main thing.

Grandma's throwing bows is the main thing at the Super King. Now, were these grandmas or were these Charles Barkley's? There was one Charles Barkley. As Iys? There was one Charles Barkley. As I remember, there was one Charles Oakley. There was one Charles Barkley shut up and jam Guy Den. Oh, yes. I remember that. Yeah.

So there was a few different things. There was a couple of American gladiators, which was nice. It was those lady gladiators. Ooh, Diamond. And Diamond's grandma. Diamond's grandma. Yeah. Now, are they hitting you because you're mispronouncing yogurts in the aisle that they're from? They're hitting you because they've got

shit to do, and they don't give a fuck about your not-grandma ass. They are trying to get to the yogurt that correlates with the nation of their birth so they can make their grandchild eat it. And know what it's like to be a real blank. I feel like if you, with your distinct look,

I feel like if you went in there, all you'd have to do is wear a beanie or a ski cap and just look dour the whole time you're in there. And they would just think that you belong there as part of their culture. I just seem murderous. Yeah. Just seem like I could – I have a potential for violence. Have you thought about – Yeah, it seemed like you fled at something back in the home country.

I've been traumatized. You don't even speak the whole time. I have a traumatized look, a potentially traumatized look. Yeah, you never ask any questions the whole time because you want to convey that you're just like the quiet type. Yeah. Because you have too much in your mind. Have you thought about maybe going full grandma when you go?

Oh, that's fun. Sock and bonnet. Flower dress. Cane. So you're imagining. Ear horn that you hold up to your ear when you need to hear something. You're imagining like a grandma from like Little House on the Prairie. Yeah, I mean just like a, you know.

Or mama's family. Or literally the bad wolf in the Red Riding Hood story. Yes. Waiting in bed for the kid to come. Yeah. Have you thought about going false wolf? I feel like honestly. Real wolf, false grandma.

Real wolf, false grandma. Excuse me. If you put me in the wolf's grandma outfit, I would look about the same as the wolf looks in that outfit. I kind of got an overbite and a big beard. We actually kind of hit it. I'm always salivating and everyone looks like a fully dressed turkey to me. You also go to bars in pinstripe suits and just whistle at women. fully dressed turkey to me.

You also go to bars in pinstripe suits and just whistle at women. We also actually kind of hit upon the text of my personal ad. I'm a false grandma looking for a daddy's little helper. Thank you. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jess, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, which I think is also very fun. Well, I am wearing a shirt that says Hot Rods.

Do you know the first name of the director that directed Roadhouse is Rowdy? Is it really? What? Yes. His name is like Rowdy Phillips or something. Do you think – here's a theory that I'm just going to float out. Rowdy Harrington. Do you think Hank Williams Jr. was specifically referring to the director of Roadhouse when he said all my rowdy friends? Right.

He meant the director of Roadhouse and Riley. Yeah. And Rowdy Roddy Piper. And Rowdy Roddy Piper, of course. Which sounds like a pretty epic party. Yeah. Three great rowdies. We came there to chew bubblegum and party and we were all out of bubblegum.

Sure. We were only left with one option. Two party. Speaking of parties, it's the annual Max Fun Party known as the Max Fun Drive. Yeah. I'm excited about it. I am, too. A lot of fun stuff happening these couple of weeks.

You know, sometimes on Jordan, Jessica, we talk about, we like allude to the fact that Maximum Fun is audience-supported network or this is an audience-supported show. But that actually is the honest truth of what is actually the case. Like we have an advertisement on Jordan, Jesse Goh sometimes. We like to get them. We limit them strictly. But we like to have them on from time to time. But that really isn't what pays our bills here. What pays our bills here is all of the members of MaximumFun.org, people just like you.

Yeah, and if you give a little bit every month to support this show and all the other great shows on the network, The Adventure Zone, which we mentioned, which I only heard of for the first time during that last segment. I still haven't heard of it. And, of course, Riley's show, Troubled Waters, formerly International Waters. All these great shows exist because people go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and give a little bit every month. And not only do you get a great feeling from knowing that you're kind of helping independent artists to make their shows without corporations butting in. But you also get a lot of cool stuff, which we'll talk about a little bit later in the show.

But yeah, right now we just kind of wanted to come on and talk about why it is so awesome if you would want to go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and support. I am pretty sure, Jordan. Yes. Lindsay Pavlis, who is one of our employees here at Maximum Fund, sitting out there. I think Jordan Jessie Goh has the highest membership rate of any Maximum Fund show. That's right. Gosh darn it.

Out of the 40-ish shows in Maximum Fund, I think that Jordan Jessie Goh has the—she's nodding yes—the highest rate of membership. So of the 10 listeners, five support? Yes. Wow. It's incredible. They did until that Fez thing happened last week. Oh, yeah, sure. Now, right.

Yeah. Coming over to Trouble Waters, we're very pro-Fez. When Earthquake came in here and Batman and Doctor Who. Which, by the way, if you listen to the show, we're very half and half because Dave Holmes is not a fan of Doctor Who and does not always love it when John Luke Roberts and I love to slip in Doctor Who jokes throughout the show. So, hey, yeah, if you go to MaximumFun.org slash donate, there's a lot of levels you can donate at depending on how much spare cash you have laying around. There's five bucks a month. Jordan, before you list the levels, can I just pitch a round to Riley? Sure.

It's you and John Luke's things that you're into and Dave's things that he's into as a round. It's called Doctor Who or Hoosker Do. Oh, I love it. That may actually make it into the show, and I will credit you for that. Thank you. That comes in. Thank you very much. That's solid.

Yeah, so basically you can give five bucks a month, ten bucks a month, twenty bucks a month, all the way up to $200 a month if you're feeling supes generous. But yeah, I think kind of what MaxFun has is kind of a backwards Netflix where we put all the stuff out for free. And if people like it, then they can give a little bit a month to support it. And yeah, so it's – we're kind of operating on good faith here, hoping that people like the shows, they care about them, and they want them to keep going. I mean, I kind of think – I don't want to speak out of school. I kind of think that Doctor Who or Husker Du is worth the full $200. I think so. But in all sincerity, the reason that we do it this way is because we want everybody to be able to listen to all of our shows.

Yeah. And we also don't want to be dependent on advertising to keep the lights on. And advertising is a cruel and mercurial and sometimes annoying and interrupty master. What a weird metaphor that was, but I think you know what I mean. Advertising is a tough way to make a living. And what ends up happening when you are relying on advertising is that you have to make a lot of compromises on the month where you didn't sell as many ads as you thought you were going to sell, but you still have the same rent. Yeah.

And the fact that literally thousands and thousands of Jordan Jesse Go fans just like you have become members of Maximum Fun by going to MaximumFun.org slash donate is what allows us to have the kind of bedrock of funding that lets us make this show every week. And as we have for, what now, over 800 years. Is that right, Jordan? It's about that. Lindsay is one of the boys. Back when there was only one Doctor Who.

Yeah, right. The first Doctor, the first episode of Jordan and Jesse Go. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, I think, you know, this show, we love doing that. And we super duper love the fans out there. But yeah, and I think the fans and the people who donate are the reason that this show still happens. I mean, I don't, you know, I think I don't think it's exaggerating to say that this show not only doesn't help our careers but probably hurts it. Yeah, that's true.

I often actively fear that someone will listen to this show. Yeah, I mean – I definitely haven't hired both of you because of things you've said on this show. With good reason. With good reason. Yeah, so I mean – I mean it was on TaskRabbit but still. Please let me build your IKEA bookcase. Yeah. So, I mean, it was on TaskRabbit, but still. Please let me build your Ikea bookcase.

Please. You just said you drank during the day, so I'm not going to book you. Oh, yeah. Fuck. I'll even go this far. Like, I am a listener who became part of the Max Fund family and also Christian Duenas, who was the producer of Troubled Waters, a listener of the network who became a member of the family.

You guys definitely are big at bringing members of your listening crew like you build and you build a family with this network we met riley when riley called in a momentous occasion like 10 years ago and then she came on the show as a guest like seven years later or something and she was like after the show she was like you know do you remember that momentous occasion i called in all those years ago? And we were like, nope. That happened on the air. That happened on the show. Yeah.

It was great. Yeah. No, go back and listen. That was a great episode. That was a different name back then. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, definitely like the reason that we show up every week and the reason we – that know brian's out there you know producing and

editing the show is because of you like there's not a good reason to do this show other than people like it so you know we're we're not doing it to further our careers we're not doing it because we have some grand design for it we just do it because it's fun for us and people like it and people go to maximumfund.org donate and support it because, yeah, so when you do that, you're saying it's important to me that you guys show up every week. You book a cool guest. Brian gets in there and you guys put out a show for me. So, yeah, and that's a very cool reason to do something and I really, really appreciate people doing that. It feels great. When you go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and become a member of Maximum Fun, it's important to remember that the money that you are paying to be a member

really goes to the shows that you listen to. It's a pretty simple thing. You go to what's called a personal computer, go to MaximumFun.org slash donate using a web or internet browser. The World Wide Web is the latest. I mean, Jordan, you're probably more of a gopher man. Of course. I love it. But you go to – I'm an Alta Vista fan myself.

Oh, sure. You're a web head just like me. I love to surf. Of course. I'm going online. You go to Maximumfund.org slash donate. You pick at what level you want to become a member. Again, from $5 a month all the way up to $200.

And then you tell us what shows you listen to. We take a little bit of – Maximum Fund takes a little bit of that money to pay for the drive, pay for Lindsay to have a job, to pay for us to send out thank you gifts and so on and so forth, pay rent on this studio and so on. And then the significant majority of that money just is divided among the shows that you listen to and goes directly to those shows. So this is like the most direct path to supporting any media that you consume in your entire media life. I promise you. Yeah. And it's not just about like, yeah, the $200 membership levels are amazing, but even the $10, the $25, the $35 a month, like that little bit can do a lot of good for the shows. Like if you add up a lot of listeners who are all putting that level in,

that's great. And if you're already listening, like we love you and we're so glad you're already doing it. And we're so glad you're already at MaximumFun.org. But if you increase your donation a rate of membership. The thing that really means a lot to me is that those people decided to like, look, it's a little bit of a hassle. It's a few bucks a month. You probably won't miss a few bucks a month for most of us, but it's still a few bucks a month. It's annoying to go to MaximumFun.org slash donate, type in your credit card number or whatever. But those people said, I want to stand up and support this thing. So no matter what the level is that you're participating at, what really means a lot to us is that you are participating. It's like, it really is a huge difference as somebody who, you know, as three people who work in

the entertainment industry, both here and elsewhere. I know for me it means a lot that I work for – directly for the people who listen to the show. I don't work for Universal who then are basically working for Procter & Gamble who are trying to sell people Swiffer pads. I work directly for the people who like the show. The views of Jesse Thorne don't reflect all the guests on the show who may in fact

work for Universal. Yeah, you know, this is interesting. I should mention I just took a side job at Swiffer. Yeah. I'm their head

of original content. Oh, and I actually am now tending bar at the Jimmy Buffett's Margarita at City Walk, which is part of Universal Studios. Right. There you go. Yeah, great. Come by. It's 2 o'clock somewhere. That's what we say.

Yeah, no. So definitely if you want to learn about some of the cool stuff that you can get for donating, we'll talk about that a little bit later in the show. Or you can go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and check out some of it there. I'll say right now, bonus episodes for miles. Oh, so many. Yeah, I mean if you just want to look at it as I am paying a little bit each month for a buttload of bonus content. And judging by the butt plug related calls we get in momentous occasions, I know that you folks are familiar with buttloads. Well, if you're a big fan of buttloads, I should tell you the Trouble Waters bonus episode this year is erotic fan fiction written by myself and John Luke Roberts and read by celebrities from the Max Fun family.

Yeah, I personally read a slash fiction short story that John Luke wrote about Sonic the Hedgehog going to town on the Minions. Maximumfun.org slash donate. The only way to hear that. That's what they call a closer, Jordan.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan, Jessica. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Bradley Silverman, Doctor Who enthusiast. Guess what, friends? We've got another friend joining us here for the momentous occasions. Two friends! Two friends! Two friends!

Wait, who's not friends among the four people? Me and you! Enemies. She's a full-time employee of maximum fun where her title is oh relations coordinator network member and network network relations member and networks relations specialist specialist cool executive uh she is course, one of the stars of Brian and Lindsay Will Totally Eat That, the smash hit video series that took the internet by storm. She is. She got an 800 on the verbal SAT. Yes, I did.

Pretty good. Lindsay Pavlis. Hey, friends. Pleasure being in here with you. She did very well on the math SAT as well, but not in a full 800. No. Lindsay, when I visit the office, I always like to chat with you a little bit. But since I haven't been into the office lately, I'll ask you on mic, what video games are you playing?

Oh, well. I've been dipping my toes into that Apex Legends. Heard of it? I have heard of Apex Legends. Don't love a battle royale shooter, but I am told it's the hot shit. I play a lot of Nader Legends. N-A-D-E-R. I don't understand what you're talking about.

Oh, no. I'm changing it. N-A-D-E-R. Oh, Ralph Nader. Right. You can be Dennis Kucinich, Ralph Nader. That game is unsafe at any speed. I was looking for one of those, but beat me to it.

Apex Legends. You know what I love? So the guts of that game is Titanfall 2, right? Yeah. I mean, Cold Take, the campaign of that was great. I'm kind of sorry they went in the multiplayer direction yeah i actually i was one of those for me personally i know others like it no i mean i think i think that's fair uh i think uh i was one of those people who was uh shit talking can i

swear on this you've heard podcasts before what uh i was i was uh i was I was questioning the decision to take the Titans out of Apex. But you know what? It's great. It's a very fun game. 10 out of 10 would play again. Except people got really good and I stayed the same amount of shitty. And now it's not very fun. I think that's why I don't like those games.

Because I just cannot get good enough. Is Apex Legends the same as that other? Is that the same kind of thing as the other one that people like? You know how everybody likes that one video game with the dances that keep getting sued? Yes. Yeah, Fortnite. Yeah, I think that's what you're talking about. The one that children and baseball players like.

Yeah, that's the one. Yeah. Professional baseball players. Now, what is Alfonso Ribeiro's beef with Apex Legends? Does he have one? I couldn't say. The Apex Legends beef is with Trudy from, what was that show called? Facts of Life.

There you go. Thank you. That's fun. Thank you, Trudy from Facts of Life. Well, I don't know if you were listening to last week's program, Lindsay, but we've been, we started on how many, we started with how many Jeopardy contestants listen to Jordan, Jessica. It turns out it's more than 10. Yeah. Then we said.

And two of them are going up against each other in Jeopardy. Oh shit. Are they really? Yeah. That's awesome. So. Then we said to ourselves, well, how many Jordan Jessico listeners own a fez? Not a costume shop fez, a real fez.

Turned out way more than were Jeopardy contestants. Makes sense. So last week on the program, my friend Jordan Morris, native of Orange County, California, this will come into play in a moment. Sure. Asked how many so-called drug rugs are owned by Jordan Jesse Go listeners or how many Jordan Jesse Go listeners have owned drug rugs,

which is to say the type of ponchos worn by stoned white dudes who are on their way to go surfing in Baja. Do you not think that's more of a San Francisco thing, the drug rug? I think that is a Southern California thing. Okay. Yeah. I think that is a classic Southern California thing.

So I guess I'm thinking – Like a Pendleton shirt. I think I maybe described it wrong as a poncho. I think what I'm thinking of is that sweatshirt. I'm Googling drug rug because I want to know what this is. Do you kind of know what I'm talking about? There's the hoodie made of the poncho material. Oh, yeah.

I know that sweatshirt, too. I mean, that's definitely something that hippies wear, but it's also definitely something that surfers wear. Sure. Surfer dudes. I would say, in my experience, 70-30 surfer dudes versus hippies. Yeah. I think we can agree that there's an intersection of kind of chill white guys. Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson and Jack Johnson. The Jack Johnson nexus. Yeah. And I think that is – I think region aside, it is a California thing. Yeah. It's where Jack Johnson meets Michael Franti. Sure. Yeah, exactly.

Having looked at it now and knowing what it looks like, I definitely had one of those, but at an age where it was way too young for me to associate with any sort of drug culture. It was definitely like, hey, this is a cool thing people on TV wear. I'm going to get one of these things. I think I had it in fifth or sixth grade. And you went by a cool person from TV. You mean Manny the Hippie from the David Letterman show

when he went to San Francisco. Absolutely, I did. And by cool, you mean Diggity Dink. Or Cody from Step by Step. That's probably what I was thinking of at the time.

That was probably somebody who owns a drug rug. That's probably exactly who inspired me to get one. I want that thing Cody has. He's cool. Sure. Brian, I probably should have asked you if you knew this information beforehand.

But do you remember what we predicted in terms of numbers last week on the program? Oh. No. Hold on one sec, but I can find it. Oh, so maybe while Brian is looking that up, we can get a little reading from Riley and Lindsay on this. So do you think, knowing what you do about Jordan, Jesse, Go, Riley, you've been on the show a couple times. Lindsay, you've been on the show

and you certainly have heard of the show. Yeah. What do you think? Do you think we will have more Fezzes or more drug rugs in the audience? Here's my question. Are we talking of all time or currently owning drug rugs?

I think we opened it up to all time. I think we opened it up to all time, yeah. If we're opening up to all time or currently owning drug rugs? I think we opened it up to all time. I think we opened it up to all time, yeah. If we're opening up to all time, I'm going to say drug rugs outnumber Fez's. But people might not admit to it as freely as Fez's. Okay. I'm going to say Fez's 110%. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What were the parameters on Fez's?

The parameters of Fez's were it has to be a real Fez. So it has to be either a real Shriner Fez or a real North African Fez. Oh, shit. Like no costume shop Fezes. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to change my answer. And you can't be an organ grinders monkey.

Yeah. Because we don't allow them to listen to the show. Yeah. We think it's unnatural. Upsetting a big contingent of possible MaxFun members. Also, frankly, it's cruel to train them

to listen to the show by giving them grapes. Brian, do you have those numbers? You know, I don't. I'm sorry. That's okay. But I do remember at least one,

maybe two of you guys were above Fez's and our Fez's number was pretty high. Yeah, I you guys were above Fez's, and our Fez's number was pretty high. Yeah, I think Drug Rug beats Fez. I think we, in our audience, I think we have some Doctor Who cosplayers, but I also think we have a lot of people who are into jam bands in the 90s, Dave Matthews Band, Fish, String Cheese Incident. I think these are places where you get a Drug Rug, places where you wear a Drug Rug. I think these are places where you get a drug rug, places where you wear a drug rug.

I think that the drug rug community are big supporters of the show. And I think they're going to come out for us today. This is machine politics at its finest. Yeah, grassroots. Got to identify interest groups and start pandering. Now, I mean, I think maybe there could be an issue here that there are people who have drug rugs that are listening but can't get their shit together to call in. That might affect turnout. Again, again, like politics, it's all about turnout.

Whereas the Doctor Who fans are willing to be vocal at any drop of a hat about anything they can be. That's true. You're right. You're right. Jordan, just so you know, Lindsay is running for president with the slogan, all dank, no schwag. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks for bringing it up. Yeah. I didn't want to be the one to.

Yeah. He actually had to initiate litigation when Beto O'Rourke chose that as his slogan. He skateboards, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm sticking with Fez's. I was so astonished that there were like a hundred Fez calls that I'm sticking with Fez's. I was so astonished that there were like 100 Fez calls that I'm sticking with Fez's for my – Now, this may be different from what I said last week.

And if it is, well, stick it up your nose. Brian, how many people called in to say they owned or had owned a drug rug. Yeah, okay. So I put them into categories. We got four people. We have a lot of taxonomic concerns here. Yeah. Four people who had gotten them from Mexico, like their parents brought them back.

Right. Four people specifically who went on a surf trip and got it on a surf trip. Yeah, that's great. That's the way to do it. One guy who has like nine of them and goes to Burning Man every year and rotates them out exclusively at Burning Man. Well, you can't show up to Burning Man in the same drug rug you wore last year. How gauche.

One guy who bought it thinking it was a blanket. That's what happened to me, Lindsay. I own a poncho that I believed was a blanket when I purchased it. That sounds like me, too. And then three, a surprisingly strong showing for the category of my straight-laced mom bought it for me, not realizing it was a drug thing. And then 24, just kind of general, I have one. Sounds like Fez is. Yeah, it was 36 total.

And we actually got nine additional Fez calls this week. I'm going to say Brian kind of tipped the hat, the Fez hat, literally, when he said, like, some of you said more than Fez, but keep in mind, we got a lot of Fez calls. Like, it felt like that was like a way of like, that's why I didn't change my answer. I feel like I'm getting unfair information now at this point. I think this is the problem. I think Riley hit upon it, which is a Doctor Who fan has a certain shamelessness, a certain pride, the famous flip side of the coin of shamelessness. Yeah. The not pejorative. Yeah.

and not pejorative that leads them to call in as does the person who ironically owns a Shriners Fez such as our Generation X Tiki Dads and for that reason I think that response rate was probably much higher

as a proportion of the audience I do have a proposal. Please. And I think I've got the thing that can beat Fez's. Okay. What do you got? This was suggested by a Jordan Jesse Goh listener on Twitter. Now, do I remember who it was?

No, I don't. I don't take notes or prepare for this show. However, I think it is basically solid gold. How many Jordan Jesse Go listeners have

worn bowling shoes not to bowl? Wow. I mean, at least half the hosts. Yeah. I mean, it's been a topic on the show before. I had a bowling shoe phase in high school. Yeah.

So, yeah. I mean, that might do it. I strongly considered it. Did not have the rebel gene necessary to bring – to steal bowling shoes from the bowling alley. Felt bad about it. I bought them. There was a store. There was a store that was kind of by my high school.

John Waters' store from The Simpsons. Yes, John Waters' store from The Simpsons. I bought a – yeah, wind-up robots and some old campaign buttons. Yeah, it was a store. It was kind of like a head shop but they also had a couple crates of CDs and you could get bondage pants there, those kind of plaid pants with the straps that go between. And yeah, they had a little box of bowling shoes out one day. So that's where I got mine. I did not swipe them.

But I think that's normally how people – when people were wearing casual bowling shoes, that's where they came from. But were they fenced bowling shoes do you think? Like someone stole them. Oh, yeah. Like they fell off a truck type situation? Oh, good question. I don't know. They came directly from a bowling alley and were sold to this guy's shop.

Question for you about your bowling shoes. Please. Did they have – were the ones that you bought to wear in public, did they actually have some sort of grip to the bottom of it? Were they flat like it would be in an alley? No, they were slick and it caused me to fall down a lot in public. Okay. So, no. I had a pair of Vans that were like – they looked like bowling shoes.

They were like leather and they had the exact coloring of them, but they had a grip. They had an actual – I would slip and fall when I was on tile. Did you literally slip and fall? Yes. Yeah, a lot. Did you go yoink as you fell? Yeah.

But, I mean, I think, you know, I think, again, I was in a phase where I, you know, I was doing it all for look-at-me reasons, so I liked it. I mean, you were deeply committed to your art, and your art was being a fun guy in high school. Sure, yeah. You know what? You're right. You are less fun now than you were in high school. I'm far less fun. You are correct. God, I was so fun in high school. I was fun! I think more

Jordan Jesse Go listeners have worn bowling shoes for non-bowling purposes. And I'm not talking about you just wore them to the bowling alley, but you put them on at 11 a.m. and you were leaving the house and you just were like, well, I'm not going to be back at the house. I'll just put them on now and I'm bowling tonight. I'm talking about wearing them as a fashion item or anti-fashion item, as the case may

be. I think we could break 150 on this. And to be clear, these are legit bowling shoes, not street shoes in the style of bowling shoes. Like my bullshit shoes. Yes, but they don't have to have been stolen from a bowling. If you went and bought bowling shoes because you wanted to be the junior version of a tiki dad, then that's acceptable to me. If you went to a bowling pro shop or even if you went to the Nordstrom Rack or you went to play it again sports.

You spit-taked a Nordstrom Rack. I'm a big fan. it's the best Nordstrom I was going to say bowling shirts then I realized you don't have the manpower right now to answer that many phone calls honestly I don't think bowling shirts are beating Fez really? I'm talking about through life though

yeah I don't think so really? yeah I don't think so I'm just going by personal experience Through life, though. Yeah, I don't think so. Really? Yeah, I don't think so. I did not. I mean, I'm just going by, you know, personal experience. And I, yeah, whereas, you know, when I was cavorting in scenes where people were doing ironic kind of throwback retro dress up stuff. And when you say in scenes, you mean in short form improv scenes? Yes, in short form improv.

That is the scene of short form improv. I mean, I definitely saw Fez's out. I saw bowling shirts. I saw a lot of gas station shirts. But yeah, I definitely was on the lookout for bowling shoes because I had them and I did not see a lot. I don't think it was a thing. Well, it's probably hard to black out a scene if you don't have the grip on the shoes.

Yeah, right. Exactly. Exactly. I don't I mean, I think it was a thing, but I don't think it I don't know. I think I think Fez had a moment. I think a Fez is iconic. I think bowling shoes was was a blip. Did you have numbers in the back of your shoes?

I did. Yeah. I had the size. Yeah. So, Lindsay, I'm interested. I'm interested to see you know i don't think i know anyone who ever voluntarily weird weird war that's the word uh bowling shoes outside the context of a bowling alley

you're self-accepted jordan um can i throw a real quick curveball into the mix? Yeah. For the ladies out there. Butterfly clips. Oh, do you think we have more butterfly? Yeah, well, we certainly have more butterfly clips than we do have fezes. Yeah. That's easy. Oh, yeah, I think so for sure. I have some at home right now.

Like, I still have some. Yeah. They look great. They do. They're fun. It looks like a bug landed on your head. Yeah. Let's see what happens with bowling shoes.

I'm curious. I am ready to be proven wrong, but I don't think we're beating Fez. Like your head is made out of flowers or feces. True. I'm sticking with Fez because I just went to a Doctor Who convention last month, and many, many people there knew who I was because of my involvement with max fun yep that is not a lie i think so yeah i think i think what we're gonna have to do with this is not pick something that was attached to like a music scene but i think the thing that is making fez unbeatable is we're getting that cosplay boost as i think so i think we need to find something that's like that but I am curious about the bowling

shoot thing I genuinely want to know music scene so maybe like Faygo like something that have you sprayed Faygo yes have you been injured by a t-shirt cannon at the gathering of the juggalos yeah but I'm curious I'm ready

to hear I think next up I'm gonna I don't mean to – I think I might ask how many people have eaten an It's a Caduzzi. Sure. It's a type of popsicle. Honestly, I think the only thing that's taken down Fez is a Harry Potter school robe. I think if we want to take down Fez, we need to bring out the big guns, and those guns are Harry Potter school robes. That's three things you've mentioned in this conversation that I have owned at some point in my life, or currently own,

so yes. And Riley is a stand-up. Riley can't even blame her sketch comedy costume banter. No. Yeah. No, I just wore it to the park. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la,

la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Go I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris, boy detective Riley Silverman, time lord Lindsay Pavlis, influencer She is, folks Right She is, folks

An early adopter She's appeared on the hit videocast Candy Crushers I haven't, actually You've never been on Candy Crushers? Well, I haven't been invited yet Wow What's Candy Crushers. I haven't actually. You've never been on Candy Crushers? I haven't been invited yet. Wow. What's Candy Crushers? Wow.

Candy Crushers is probably Max Fun's sister series, we'll call it. It's most beloved Stacey Molsky, Daniel Baruella. Baruella, yeah. Crushing candy for the camera. Two of our employees have their own video show that's not technically part of Max Fun, where it's on Instagram, and they

squish candy, and it's one minute long, and they just say, do we think we're going to squish? And they say, I don't know, maybe. And the other one says, yeah, I think so. Then they try and squish it. And then they see if it squishes. Sounds like a goddamn blast. It's fucking tremendous.

Lindsay, I'm sorry you can't get that booking. It's okay. Jeez. You guys should do like a meet-up where they squish the candy and then you and Brian decide if you will totally eat that. After it's been squished? Yes. Well, okay. That'll attract a demographic, I think. When something momentous happens to you, like, Lindsay, when you finally get invited to appear on Candy Crushers,

we ask you to call us at 206-9844-FUN or email us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org for our segment Momentous Occasions. Here is our first such occasion now. Hey, guys. This is Steve from New York. Just had a momentous occasion inside of a Barnes & Noble where a group of old men were sitting down talking and one decided to list his inventions and one of which was carbonated milk. He proceeded to talk about his idea for a smoke detector that lets you sleep for another ten minutes, and a light bulb that only shines on stuff you want to see.

So that's my momentous occasion. I love you guys. Thanks. Wow. Wow. Shut it down. Fuck! Was that Clark Griswold he was sitting next to? Yeah. I really like the brick and mortar bookstore is really creeping closer and closer now that it's, you know, it's on its way toward obscure or obsolete, I guess I should say. There's a weird thing happening though where the reverse is happening where the Barnes and Nobles are going out of business.

But now the small mom and pop bookstores are starting to have like a re-synch. Like they're getting back on the market. I think that's definitely worth mentioning. But yeah, definitely the big chain bookstore, your Borders, your Barnes and Nobles. Your Fox books. Your Crown books. They're still around. I hate to sound like a hipster.

But I feel like the more people talk about digital books and e-books, the more I just want to read books on vinyl. Warmer tone. Yeah, it's warmer. I think they – yeah, because I've been in a few chain bookstores and like – and I think that in their heyday, it was a place where you could like bring kids to let them kill a little bit of time i think my parents definitely did that with me they definitely just kind of let me run around in a bookstore for a while you just head straight for that magazine section and grab a murder dog yeah or a lowrider magazine it used to be the only place that i could actually find a physical copy of The Onion was in the book. Yeah, totally.

But yeah, I think now more and more they are kind of intersecting with public libraries as a place where like an old man can go to talk loudly. Yeah. And sleep sometimes. And sometimes just sleep. I used to love Barnes & Noble's when I was a traveling road comic because I would go to their cafe to write. It was because I didn't have Google Drives back then. So it was like I wanted to sit and write but didn't want to be on the internet distracted by stuff. And I would just sit and write. Oh, yeah.

That was great. Sure. Great bathrooms in those places too. Yes. That was also why I love it as well. Love to dump in a Borders. Love to dump. You know, it's been a long time since I worked at a Borders.

I did work at a Borders for a time. I would imagine that, I think Borders is out of business now, but Barnes & Noble, I think they're probably still selling primarily copies of The Purpose Driven Life. That was my experience at the time, and I believe that it is likely still the case. Yeah, I mean, these sound like great inventions. Carbonated milk. Yeah. A smoke detector that lets you sleep for like a snooze alarm. Yeah. And a spotlight, which literally exists

already. Right. A flashlight that shines on things you only want to look at. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I think La Croix and other kinds of like seltzer are huge. Why not expand that into dairy? Yeah. I mean I like a good egg cream.

Sure. Yeah. Maybe that's just what this guy was describing. He was missing a day when you could go to the old soda fountain and get a – Phosphate. Get a nice – yeah, a nice phosphate. I'm into it. Something like that.

Let's take another call. Hi, Jordan. Hi, Jesse. Hi, guest. This is Emily calling from Michigan with a momentous occasion. In 2017, I started listening to JJ Go when my fiancé was out of town because I couldn't listen to new episodes of any of the podcasts we listened to together. And I started with episode one because I really wanted to fully understand puppies. Can you pause this for a second, Brian?

This, we have finally found a way, Jordan. We've been doing this show for 12 years. And we've struggled that whole time with the fact that the show is not recommendable. That it's not something you would want to, could,

or should tell someone else about. Which is the primary form of Internet advertising, is that sort of word of mouth. Right. People tend to keep this show their own dirty little secret. Right. Something they're embarrassed to listen to with a loved one.

This is like— Lest that loved one start to think less of them. This is the podcast equivalent of your mom's vibrator. podcast equivalent of your mom's vibrator assiduously hidden in a drawer somewhere and only taken out when everybody's out of town or eating at carl's junior not gonna do it with anybody yeah he'll do it yeah but this is our growth opportunity. If you have a spouse and you listen to podcasts together, this is like my beautiful wife, Teresa, would watch the Gilmore Girls without me. She watched all the Gilmore Girls because I was ambivalent about the Gilmore Girls and she liked it. And, you know, she needed a show to watch while she was uh doing the dishes uh when i was away or whatever it is you know like uh she needed one casual show that we didn't share together

because almost all our tv watching is together and this show could be that this could be mommy's little secret the special thing like we that turns our biggest weakness that no one wants to tell each other about the show into our biggest strength. It's the perfect secret show to listen to, you know, while the goose is away, the gander will play. Right. So you're thinking we can have, like, kind of like sex toy parties, but, but like secret, like, let me tell you about Jordan and Jesse Go parties. Yeah, and everybody will get a kick out of it in like a saucy way. They'll be like, no one else is going to like this but you. Yeah, or some mimosas.

Yeah. There's no premise. It's hard to explain. Pretty intense. And sometimes. Earthquake rag on Doctor Who. And when someone cancels last minute, they get Steve Agee. The supporting actor on Superstore.

Okay, press play. I started with episode one because I really wanted to fully understand tuppies and what they were when they came up. Six months ago, I found out my fiance had been lying to me throughout much of our relationship, and I had to leave. And listening to episodes of JJ Go during any moment of mental downtime got me through those first couple months. That and the knowledge and telling myself that surely, by the time Tuppies come up, I will feel happy again.

Today I was unpacking in the condo that I just purchased. Down payment came from money that was set aside for our wedding. And tuppies came up, and wouldn't you know it, I am happy again. Thank you so much to you, to the MaxFun Network and the community that surrounds it for getting me through what I hope has been the toughest time of my life and helping me become happy again. Thanks. Oh, thank you. Thanks for making us feel bad about that jokey diversion. Yeah, that's, boy, that is very nice to hear.

God, sorry to hear about your crummy relationship, what have you. But – Got a sweet condo out of the deal. Every coin has two sides. So on the one side, a tough, tough relationship situation. On the other side, she found out that it was what you, Jordan, called the Tupperwares that you would keep in the cabinet at work. Yeah. So surprise.

It's kind of a letdown. Bonus surprise. Imagine her delight when she finds out the episode that her call was played on is the same episode that beloved one-time mems occasion Riley Silverman called in. Yeah. She probably heard that episode in the last two years and is now like, oh, my God, it all came full circle.

Yeah. This is a surreal prestige here. Riley, without you, she wouldn't even have a condo. You're right. You are right. I was her broker. But I, you know, I definitely kind of feel where this scholar is coming from. I definitely like in hard times when, when you know you jump in your car to

fucking go somewhere you don't really want to go or you're you know just kind of searching for something to play when you're around the house and like when that favorite podcast comes up it it it's definitely always a great feeling like i have a couple of shows the daily the day which is the only show I listen to. I just listen to Daily and Serial. But no, I think I talked a little bit about this last year as I kind of had a rough end of last year. And, you know, kind of had this really just, you know, drive home to visit family that I did not want to do. And, you know, was just kind of feeling shitty about it the whole way.

And when I got in my car, the new episode of The Flophouse came up. And I was like, shit, like, I don't want to be doing this. But I get to spend an hour with three of the funniest dudes in history. And, yeah, it felt great. So I definitely, like, really, it is very nice to hear that our show can do that for people. Because I know what shows like that do for me. And it's awesome. And it's definitely like a big reason why we do this is hearing people say that, yeah, the show is important. It's just kind of goofy nonsense.

But it helps when you want to take your mind off the shitty parts of the world. So, yeah, it's nice to know that people appreciate the goofy nonsense and it occupies a nice space in their brain. I just want to thank Backstory with the American History guys. Sure, yeah. Just those three guys.

Their kind of zany takes on American history, but also in depth, have gotten me through a lot of tough times. So I haven't heard of that. My non-jokey example, like you're with Flathouse. Like I listening to, I mentioned the adventure zone earlier. The reason why I brought it up is because last year I went through a really rough time with issues with I had a bad breakup and I had issues with trying to get my surgery approved and fighting credit.

Like it got delayed two months and all that kind of stuff. And that's when I was binging through the entire first arc of that show. And there was some really heavy emotional moments in that show. And it was kind of nice to have this outlet to cry along to while also laughing 10 minutes later. It was a really good emotional thing, like a journey to go on. Lindsay, do you like podcasts? They're fine. I'm a big fan.

We're a standardized test girl. Normally, I just go into candy crushers and that just gets me through my day. The way Stacey and Daniel crush those candies or don't crush those candies. I really love it. It's like crushing the things in her life that make her angry. Oh, okay. Symbolic. No, I mean, y'all, I feel it too. I feel it too. You know I do.

Wait. Do we want to take a little bit of a break and then come back and talk about what people can get if they sign up to donate in the MaxFunDrive? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, gun. It's about to go off in here. Bang. It's about to go off. We mentioned it in the first segment, and it's going to go off by the last segment. Okay, so here's the deal. Note to self, edit in us mentioning it in the first segment. Here's the deal.

Go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and become a member of Maximum Fun. There are levels for everybody from $5 a month up to $200 a month. But we're really focused on getting you to go and become a member of MaximumFun.org. We only do this once a year. We only do it for two short weeks. It is a good old time, but it is also the time. Now is the time. And the good news is that if you become a member of MaximumFun.org, you get to get stuff. So, for example, every single person who becomes a monthly member of MaximumFun.org,

I'm talking about $5 a month, $10 a month, $20 a month, $35 a month, whatever level, you get access to over 100 hours of bonus episodes of Maximum Fun Shows. Late-breaking news, Jesse. Yeah. Hold on. It's a news break. I heard the signature news music. That gun just went off, y'all.

It's actually over 200 hours. Wow. Stacey did the math. It's over 200 hours. See, Stacey did the math. It's over 200 hours. See, that's why Pavlis is here. You were technically right about being over 100. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's even more.

I mean, when you consider that just this episode of Jordan, Jesse, Go! is over 100 hours. Yeah. Right? Mostly all in that interruption in the middle of that call. Right. Yeah, so we actually, every year, every show makes a bonus episode that only donors get to hear. And they all go into a big bank with a bunch of other stuff, some some short films, a bunch of a bunch of cool bonus members only stuff. And yeah, and you get to listen to it when you donate, not just that year's stuff, but also all the previous year's stuff, too. all the previous year's stuff too. So yeah, if you're on the fence about where your

money's going, if you just want 200 plus hours of really, really hilarious, cool stuff, yeah, I think it's a great reason to donate. We recorded a bonus episode with the aforementioned Sarah Morgan. It was an all Q&A episode with some very weird listener

questions. Yeah, we got really real on that shit. Yeah, you know, little tease, we did Fuck, Marry, we got really real on that shit. Yeah. You know, little tease. We did Fuck, Marry, Kill with the McElroys. Which maybe we've done every other year. Yeah. Now, with them playing or with them being who's getting fucked, married, and killed? We actually fuck, married, and killed them.

Nice. In that order. Yeah. Each of them. In a traditional game of Fuck, Marry, Kill, you choose one to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.

And actually, also, Riley mentioned for the Troubled Waters bonus episode, I read a piece of erotic fan fiction written by John Luke Roberts. I actually went live to see the Go Fact Yourself bonus content being taped with Ross and Carrie. A really, really hilarious episode that I can recommend personally. That's there on the bonus page as we speak. And because we've thrown so much of our life away on this program, there are

like a dozen Jordan Jesse Go bonus episodes. Yeah, there's a ton in there. So yeah, if you got a drive coming up, if you got a vacation, if you got something where you need just a lot of audio, we got it for you. What do you get at $10 a month? And, by the way, all of these are cumulative. So at $10 a month, you get that $5 a month thank you gift.

You also get? For $10 a month, you get one of our very famous and in-demand enamel pins designed by the great Megan Lynn Cott. Famous and in demand enamel pins designed by the great Megan Lynn Cott. This year's Jordan Jesse Go pin is a robot. And he has a little banner around him that says glug glug. It is pronounced robot. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

A robot. I didn't know. Lindsay, so can you kind of explain kind of what the pin situation is? Because like if for some reason you don't want the robot who says glug glug and I don't know why you wouldn't. I mean think of how fun it would be to explain that to a co-worker. Can you talk about what other pins are available? Oh, gosh. I mean, OK. So first of all, I think you can go to MaximumFun.org slash pins and see all of them.

You can also go to MaximumFun.org slash pins and see all of them. You can also go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and see all of the pens. But every single show has one and they're all brilliant. They're all amazing. I don't want to say, I don't want to play favorites here, but there is one pin that has two dogs on it and I'm a real big fan of it. That's for Troubled Waters. The best dog podcast on the network.

For $20 a month, you get that pin, you get the bonus content, and you get a 550-piece MaxFun puzzle designed by Jeffrey Tice. It is really beautiful. It features the gorgeous vista out of the Maximum Fun offices here in MacArthur Park of MacArthur Park Lake and downtown Los Angeles and a podcast listener contemplating their own entertainment and mortality as they gaze out upon it.

It is a genuinely beautiful piece of art that is rendered in a genuinely beautiful puzzle. And let's be frank, who doesn't go on a family vacation once in a while? Yeah, you need a puzzle. Get a puzzle. $20 a month. For $35 a month, you get a glass coffee mug engraved with the MaxFunRocket logo. This is a cool looking item. I like this one. Now, Jordan, you're a coffee drinker.

Oh, I love it. What would you put in this mug? Coffee. Glug, glug. Baby. Yum, Jordan, you're a coffee drinker. Oh, I love it. What would you put in this mug? Coffee! Glug glug! Yum yum yum! Java! Glug glug that hot brown. And maybe a little bit of whiskey, because you know what? It's 2 o'clock somewhere.

That's true! It is 2 o'clock somewhere, and I'm fun again! I'm fun again! 50 bucks a month, you get a metal engraved MaxFun membership card personalized with your name. That's super cool. You can use it to chop up some lines of blow. You can find all of the levels, including $50, $100, and $200 at MaximumFun.org slash donate, which is where you should go to become a member of MaximumFun. And again, I just want to emphasize we are so immensely proud and grateful that we have been supported all these years by you, the listener.

And the big difference in our hearts is if you take the time to go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and become a member of Maximum Fun. This is truly a community, and we are very grateful to work for you. So it's easy. It's fun. You get hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of your favorite shows. But more than that, every time that you listen to one of our shows, you'll know that you are the person who made it possible. Maximumfun.org slash Tony. We'll be back in just a second.

I'm Jordan Jessico. It's Jordan and Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Riley Silverman, Doctor Who fan. Lindsay Pavlis, a person. She is. It's true.

Confirmed. Well, Riley, Lindsay, it's been a joy to have you here. It's been great. Yeah, it's been a joy to have you here. It's been great. Yeah, it's been an honor. I want to give a special tip of the hat to longtime Jordan Jesse Goh listener Daryl Asher, who's visiting from out of town. Hey, Daryl. Sitting out there, probably bored out of his mind, thinking I went from Montana to Los Angeles and I'm spending two hours doing this? Cha.

Pah. Cha. I could be at the Grove? Cha. Pah. Cha. I could be at the Grove right now. At the Super King. If there's one thing Daryl Asher hates, it's sitting and listening to podcasts. Hey, part of the MaxFun drive is MaxFun meetups. Oh, yeah. They're happening.

When are they happening, Jordan? Well, I think, and maybe, Lindsay, you can correct me if I'm wrong on this, that all of them happen on March 26th. Yeah, that's true. Globally. It's a global happening. The one here in L.A. that I think we'll all be attending is at the Imperial Western Beer Company. That's 800 North Alameda Street, Los Angeles, California, 90012. You can go no matter where you live to MaximumFun.org slash meetups

2019. You can find where your local meetup is. Of course, we'll be at the Los Angeles meetup because we live here in what I call the City of Angels. We think globally. We act locally. That's a good point. Reduce, reuse, recycle. That's what I always say. It's 2 o'clock somewhere.

So on the 26th from 7 to 11, it's a Tuesday evening, we will be celebrating Max Fund Meetup Day. And that is always a really great time. I feel like people are always like, but what if I don't have a friend to bring with me? You're like, everyone is so sweet. Just look for the sweet dorkuses and be friendly with them. They'll love you. They'll be so happy. Everyone will be so happy to meet each other.

And then you got new buddies. Yeah. These are a real blast. I always look forward to them every year. It's great. And, yeah, it's always a hoot. Definitely if there is a MaxFun meetup in your town, you should go. And you know what?

You don't have to play fuck, marry, kill with the McElroys. You can use the Flophouse guys. Sure. I mean, we're all fucking Stuart, right? Of course we're all fucking Stuart. What do you think I am, a madman? If you got a chance to go to town on Stu. All I think about.

Beautiful man. Come on. Beautiful man. Come on. Hey, speaking of cool bonus content, last year, John Hodgman and I did an episode called Shooting the Breeze. This is our Cheesemonger Maximum Fun Show. Yes. So we recorded a single episode of a podcast that never to be replicated. We both talked about our time as cheesemongers.

We both did it in the past uh and uh i i think it it achieved fan favorite status and you know we were kind of talking about what to do this year and you know people people talk about that episode a lot to us it's the moment in the history of maximum fun when the most beloved and heavily preferred host of Jordan Jesse Go met the most beloved and heavily preferred host of Judge John Hodgman. They finally got rid of the chaff. No chaff, all wheat. To talk about a thing that is universally loved except amongst vegans. Cheese.

Cheese. Hey, even vegans pose for photographs. Am I right guys? Yes. What does that mean? You gotta say cheese. Oh fun. It's fun. Cashew cheese. Yeah. This is why people like Jordan and Hodgman.

You're doing great Jesse. You're great. So we decided even though we made a big stink about our cheese episode only being recorded once, Outcry was so loud that we are going back on our word. If we get 2,500 new members, new subscribers to Jordan, Jesse, Go, we will record episode two of Shooting the Breeze. But people got to donate. So if they don't, no cheese. Has Hodgman emailed the agent of several famous people

who have a breeze in their name? Yes, we are out to a certain captain who may join us. Can I just say, you're joking. I was BCC'd on the email. Yeah, I know. I know, too. We're trying to make it happen.

So regardless, if we're joined by everyone's favorite captain. If we're not, I'm just going to text New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees because I have his number on my phone. So if you want to hear that episode, go to MaximumFun.org slash donate. Oh, and I'll mention again, this Friday I am going to be at Geeky Tees and Games in Burbank doing Joseph Scrimshaw's Variety Show. Oh, I love that show. Yeah, it's a blast. Game Night, right?

I don't know what I'm doing. I've done it twice. I did it for New Year's Eve this year. I did it – it's a great show. It's super fun. You're going to love it. Definitely come out to the MaxFun meetup. But if you can't make that, come out to Geeky Tees on March It's a great show. Yeah. You're going to love it. Definitely come out to the MaxFun meetup but if you can't make that come out to Geeky Tease

on March 22nd 8 p.m. Riley what are you up to right now? Actually an awesome thing this month. I'm working like I mentioned earlier

I work for Sci-Fi Wire. I do freelance writing for them and we actually did a really cool project for the month of March. I'm part of a group called Fangirls

on the site and we write like feminist perspectives on Sci-Fi and stuff like that and we did a project. It's a Fangirls on the site, and we write feminist perspectives on sci-fi and stuff like that. And we did a project. It's a limited podcast series on the Sci-Fi Wire network, and every single day in the month of March

we put another episode out called Forgotten Women of Genre, and we picked a different woman who, in a real-life hero of sci-fi or fantasy, who has helped grow the genre into what it is today, but doesn't always get the attention publicly for the amount of work that they did for it. So we started out the month with Melissa Matheson who wrote the script for E.T.

We talked about Marsha Lucas who was really involved in the editing of Star Wars and kind of really made Star Wars into the movies that we know and love. And I did scripts for Sally Minka, Nicole Perlman, and Gertrude Barrows-Bennett. And so every single day for the entire month we're putting putting a new one out, and it's pretty fantastic. Sounds kick-ass. I love it. We're still working on the details. We'll be announcing them shortly.

But we're going to have another big, giant livestream extravaganza on the last afternoon-slash-evening of the MaxFunDrive. Lindsay, do you have any secrets you want to care to reveal? Well, first of all, what is happening with my brain today? 800 verbal. I don't know what's going on. It's happening a little bit earlier in the evening this year. We've gotten some feedback from East Coasters in the past. It's a little bit late.

So it's happening earlier in the day. So hopefully more people can tune in. Here's what I'm going to tell you. A little tease. It's going to'm going to tell you. Little tease. It's going to be fucking great. Whoa. You heard it here first. I love fucking great things.

Because you're a fun guy. Because I'm fun. Fun again. Jordan, I think you've proven that you're one of the funnest guys around. Yeah, I sure have. You're second only to Daryl Asher. Yeah, Daryl Asher's pretty fun. He's pretty fun.

He came out here to see the drummer from Pink Floyd. That's cool. Yeah, he plays the early stuff. That's fun. You know how you're always going to shows, you're like, play the early stuff. Play the early stuff. Enough of the new shit. Yeah.

Well, that's what the drummer from Pink Floyd is up to, him and Daryl Asher. Is Daryl Asher in the band? Don't know. I think he is. Don't know enough about Pink Floyd. I'm looking. I think he plays rhythm guitar in Pink Floyd. That's cool.

Well, he's wearing the shirt, so I don't know why he'd be wearing the shirt if he wasn't in the band. That's true, yeah. That's a good point. He doesn't make enough shirts to go over the band members. Right. Of course. Yeah. It is actually, on a per-piece basis, very expensive to make those shirts.

Because you're basically making them one at a time. I mean, you're making four or five. A backup singer certainly could wear the shirts. So that's like, what? Let's call it eight. Eight shirts. Eight total. If you've got a keyboardist on tour. Maybe you've got the second percussionist, too. You have two percussionists, because it's a big tour.

Yeah. I mean, you've got, of course, you've got the Tambo Man. He's technically the third percussionist. I remember when he used to fight Rowdy Roddy Piper. Right. Tamboman versus Rowdy Pipes. He was definitely a heel.

Right. We all hated the Tamboman. Yeah. Play a song for no one, Tamboman. I like the idea that all 1980s professional wrestling was just based on instruments people don't like. Boo. Oh, no. It's accordion Joe. The glockenspieler.

Boo. You can find us online by going to maximumfund.reddit.com for a lively Reddit discussion. You can find us on Facebook by joining the Maximum Fund Facebook group. And, of course, you can also join local groups by going to MaximumFun.org slash local groups using your internet

browser, which is what I love to use to surf. Yeah, like Alta Vista. I use a QCAT. Hashtag. Yes! QCAT! QCAT! QCAT! QCAT! Sounds cute. It was pretty cute, honestly-Cat, Q-Cat. Sounds cute. It was pretty cute, honestly.

Yeah? Yeah. Came with your wired magazine. Would you ask Jeeves to take you there at some point? Lindsay, were you just pandering to me by reference? Yeah. Sorry. Okay.

Anyway, whether or not you're full of bullshit, just trying to butter up your boss, you can hashtag it JJGo on Twitter. And, of course, remember, it's MaxFunDrive time, so now is the time to go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and become a member of Maximum Fun. We'll love you forever. Hey, guess what, Jordan? Later on this week, before next week's episode, a little special treat since it's MaxFunDrive time. Keep an eye on your feeds. Keep an eye on the feed for a little treat. Keep an eye on the feed.

You love little treats. A little treat. A little snack. A little treat from Mommy's Dirty Little Secret. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, Go. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.