Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 583: Sniffin' Spoons with Beth Appel and Sarah Claspell

Episode Date: May 7, 2019

Beth Appel and Sarah Claspell (Everything is Rent podcast) join Jordan for an episode sans Jesse for a discussion of Jordan's birthday sweets hangover and the tea he's using to get through it, Sarah's trip to the Ren Faire earlier in the day, and the ways everyone's mom feels about their creative work. Plus, Jordan's gross malt beverage taste test segment returns!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Jesse Thorne is elsewhere this week, but lucky for you, the listener, I have two fantastic guests who I'm sure will become recurring favorites once this episode goes well, which it will. No pressure. Two writers, comedians, podcasters who you know from things such as the stage at the

UCB Improv Theater, the Asian AF comedy show, Comedy Bang Bang, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but most importantly, the thing that I cherish the most on their resume is the fantastic podcast Everything is Rent, a podcast that analyzes the musical Rent song by song, one song a week. Beth Appel and Sarah Claspel, hi guys. Hi. Thanks so much for having us. Yeah. Would you rather say hello individually or was that simultaneous chime in okay with you?

We do everything together. Oh, I was going to request a solo hello. Wow. And now you know the difference between us. Should we say who we are just so people know which voices they're listening to? Let's do that. Cool. Hi, I'm Sarah.

I'm cool. Hi, I'm Beth. I'm also cool. Let's done that. We know. Yeah. You go first, and then I'll create a counterpoint. Okay. Great. Hi, I'm Sarah, and I'm the artsy one.

Hi, I'm Beth. I don't know what art is. I like this. There's inherent conflict. One has to explain art to the other one. Sarah's always putting on one-woman shows, and Beth just doesn't know what's going on. What is that? I love this.

Guys, this is going to be a good episode. I feel good about it. I can feel it already. I, and I, and I think specifically, I just want to let the audience and you guys know kind of where I'm at. Please do. Just a check-in. I'm at. Please do. Just to check in. I am having an evening tea. We're recording in the evening and I'm having an evening tea.

I'll take a sip now just to prove that. Please do. What's the flavor? This is an Earl Grey. This is full calf, guys. Wow. Full calf. You're going to be up all night.

I might. I might be up all night. I might be up in time to see 60 Minutes. That's when I felt like I was up too late as a kid. 60 Minutes started. Yeah, and I usually do not have an evening tea. And if I do have an evening tea, it's a mint tea or a chamomile, something without caffeine. So you're down to party tonight.

Yeah, DTP. DTP-TN. Down tea party. Yes, in DTP, the T is for tea. Also, to or the sentence doesn't make sense. Guys, so recording this, it's my birthday weekend. My birthday was on Friday. Happy birthday.

So thank you. And kind of the – when your birthday is on a Friday, you can kind of swing two celebration days out of it. So on a Friday, I had a celebration with the family. And then Saturday, I had a good old bar hang. Great. I had a good old bar hang. Great. And, you know, and I think – and there were some drinks at the bar hang, but mostly I am feeling like a dessert hangover.

Like I feel like I've had too many desserts. Yes. And I'm out of sorts. And I think maybe this is a product of turning 37 and not 27. Yeah. Is that like I had a little too much tequila, but also too many things coated in Oreo? That is exactly what I have begun to experience in my mid-30s is snack and dessert hangovers. Really?

What's the last thing that did it to you? I don't know. Sarah was probably there. When did we eat a lot of snacks and desserts recently? If it's me, every day. I truly ate- You are the artsy one. I was at Ren Faire earlier today. What? Yeah. Okay. And I ate a

pulled pork sandwich and then I had a huge what is called the Falstaff ice cream. Wow. It's like a big bowl of ice cream. It's got strawberries and whipped cream and a waffle cone on top. Sure. It's like its namesake. It is fat and horny. Really got the horny in there, yeah?

Yeah, sure. With that cone? But I'm on the brink of a sweets hangover. Neither of these things seems particularly Ren Ferry. I must say. Sure, yes.

A pulled pork or a horny sundae. Horny sundae. Horny sundae, no.ay horny sunday no which is actually the kind of sunday i'm having today right today is sunday sure um so so did you did you dress up at the rent fair oh yeah just go and say okay this is my – I went to Ren Faire once or twice in college and then this is my third year in a row as a post-college person going to Ren Faire. Someone with a degree. Someone with a degree and I bring it with me. Show it off.

I'm smart. But yeah, you got to dress up. They have a costume shop there which I've gone to the past two years. This year I'm a total maniac and like went to a costume shop in Glendale beforehand. Now, did you go period appropriate or did you do dressing up as Bill and Ted and acting like, where am I? No, I went period appropriate. I always like that when someone dresses up as a famous time traveler and walks around looking confused. Is that common?

I feel like I see it every year and it is always funny to me. You see a lot of Doctor Who's. You see a Bill and Ted every now and then. I did see Doctor Strange. Oh, okay. There also is what's fun about going to like Ren Faire or I've also been to my parents. My mom and her boyfriend are really into steampunk. So I've been to a steampunk festival.

Now, who was into steampunk first? I don't know. Or did they meet at some sort of steampunk-related event? No, they met at like a jazz brunch. We don't have to go into my family. They're nuts. They're not nuts. They're very nice people.

They're just like weirdos. Who just happened to be into jazz and steampunk. Jazz, steampunk. They just went to New Orleans for like a 60th birthday. And they had to, it was like a costume party. So yeah, everyone wore like weird costumes. My mom made a hat that had a face on top of it that was also wearing a hat. It was very scary.

I'll show you a photo. Okay. Did you,. Did you have anything Ren Faire-y yet? Did you have a mead or a grog? I had a mead. And in previous years I've had like the turkey leg.

I can't remember what else I've eaten. My main memory from Ren Faire's of childhood are the nut seller. Oh yeah? The guy selling nuts, thick cockney accent, making a lot of nut jokes. Right. Is that still alive and well at Ren Faire's? Mm-hmm.

Oh, I see you looking at my nut. Sure. And you're like, with your mom? I'm 12. Oi there, child. Look at me testicles. What? Arrest this man.

And that is the thing about the Ren Faire. It is unclear who works there and who is just hanging out. Truly. Who do you listen to? Yeah. Who is a sanctioned employee and who will use period costume to try and grope you I imagine is a concern. When I went, I had interactions with two people who I'm very unsure worked there. Before we got in, there's always people waiting outside the entrance just interacting with people.

And they – I went there with my boyfriend Clay and he got a citation for his ankles showing. And it was like a printed thing um and then it says like the penalty is you have to put yourself in the stocks um and inside just a random man came up and was like ah i trade riddles so i will give you a riddle and you answer it and you give me a riddle you You're like, listen, we're already doing a thing with my ankle showing. I don't have time for another side quest. So many bits going on. It was great.

Yeah. Now, this kind of leads me into something that I like so much about your podcast. Everything is right. All right. Thank you for listening. No, no problem. And being a guest on it. It was so much fun.

I'll gush about our specific episode a little later. But I kind of what I like so much about it is that not only is it is it picking apart rent, but also it is kind of a like an excuse to remember what it was like to be a dorkery in that time. Anyways. Yeah. So is that when you guys do that show, are you finding that how many people have emotional connections to rent and how many people are like, I kind of remember this? have connections to it in some way or another, whether it's a negative affiliation with the kids that loved it when they were a kid or just unabashedly being the kid that loved it. But you're totally right that, like, it's – has been an excuse, I think, for everyone to remember being a huge loser in middle school or high school, or I guess for the younger people that have been on the pod, like adult life. But like, we just had Paul Rustin, Michael Cassidy,

and we traded so many stories about like nerdy audition monologues. And like, out of those books where the, they're not from plays, but just a monologue that someone wrote. Yes. Just like comedic female one. It's just like, it exists in a void or like, yeah, we talked about like picking a monologue from a movie or like Paul put one together from

Catcher in the Rye, like just pieced together pieces. Yeah. I know. Yeah. So many of those were like, clearly like a 60 year old person trying to write about teen angst. Yeah. So it's like, you know, it's like, oh, my face is so greasy. It looks like I rubbed French fries all over it. Like that's most of them. I feel like we're about acne, about dealing with acne. Yes. I remember being younger and the ones for younger ones are like fairy tale character there's a lot written like from the point of view of like humpty dumpty or like chicken little but you were a child star i was i mean you acted as you have headshots from when you were yeah i had

an agent when i was a kid i was in a few commercials and stuff oh for what um up at christmas carol oh okay a radio commercial for total petroleum a commercial commercial for the hell yeah for the denver zoo now beth can we is the is the total petroleum girl here can we talk to the is she here can you bring her out and we can have a little conversation with the Total Petroleum girl? Let me check in. Yeah, I think she is here. Oh, great. Yeah. Do you need a box of hats to summon her or? Hi, I'm Beth Appel.

She had your name. If you fill up at Total Petroleum, they'll donate some amount of money to some charity. Wow. Yeah. I mean. This is going out just to the Kansas City area. It was regional. It was regional.

Hello, tri-state area. It's me, Beth Appel. What does tri-state area mean? I guess I use that to mean three states that are touching. But isn't it specifically New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut? It might be. Could be. It might be.

I bet there's some other area that is like, we're the tri-state area, but they only they don't talk to New York. I don't know. Hey, if you're out there and you're in the tri-state area or know what it is, hit us up. Hit us up. Yeah. Hashtag what does this mean? Oh, I wanted to talk a little bit about more about my evening tea, kind of why I decided to make the evening tea. Oh, yeah, sure.

So, you know, a little low-key. I'm having a, you know, there's a kind of a mix of tequila and, oh, boy, a friend made me some birthday cookies, chocolate chip cookies that have potato chips in them. Oh, yes. Yeah. And I have had eight. Great. And so, yes, that's kind of what's going on inside me. Yeah.

And also some feelings, some feelings of self-doubt. Sure. So that's in there too. Just along with a birthday? Right. Yes. Like, is it? Have I done the right thing?

Have I done the right thing with my life? Where should I be? Yeah. You're doing great. Thanks, guys. I appreciate that. Yeah. You're doing great.

Thanks, guys. I appreciate that. But I realized I was maybe not at my most alert because I was driving today and the Godzilla noise came on the radio and I pulled over like it was an ambulance. Because I'm like, do I? And as I was pulling over, I'm like, what do I think I'm doing? Am I avoiding Godzilla? Do I – anyways. It's the Godzilla alarm.

He's like, hey, clear the road. Yeah. What's the Godzilla noise? A roar? Yeah. Why does everyone know that? What is that? You know what Godzilla sounds like?

I guess I don't. In the comics. It's like a scream. It's like a scream. It's like a monster scream. So it's not like screamy, screamy, but it is like a roar. Yeah. In the comics when they need like the onomatopoeia for it, it's spelled Scree-onk. You should have just said Scree-onk.

I should have said Scree-onk. I'm sorry. But yeah, I'm like, okay, I am not connecting the dots that this Godzilla noise is on the radio. I should probably have an evening tea. Did you go out for your birthday? I did, yeah. So Friday night my family came up and we went to the Wood Ranch. Okay. Oh, what's that?

I don't know if it's, it's just in California. It's maybe kind of a mini chain that does barbecue. Great garlic rolls. Hello. And we had an Oreo based dessert, these kind of little ice cream balls that are rolled in Oreo. Very tasty. And we all went to see the long shot.

Mom thought it was a little bit raunchy, but liked the love story. Okay. So that's Gail's review of long shot. A little too raunchy. Okay. A little too raunchy. Did you guys know that you don't need to use potty humor to be funny? Well, that's what Gail always says.

And I subscribe to Gail's podcast, No Potty Humor. Yeah. Right. You know, it's more popular than this one, and I'm mad about it. But it's probably because we use too much potty humor on this. I went and saw – I was home for the holidays or something years ago and saw Step Brothers with my mom, which was very, I didn't even think about it, but of course there's like balls in it.

You see like someone's testicles. Yeah, Will Ferrell plays the drums with his balls. Yeah, and sitting next to my mom, I was like, oh, no, she hates this. She doesn't like swears. Yeah. She doesn't like potty humor. Back talk when kids talk back to grownups. Oh, yeah, there's no need.

No. How much do your parents interact with your comedy? Do they come to see your improv shows or listen to the podcast or? My mom will like any play that I've been in. She will come see. She goes to see all of my sister's shows. My sister is a musical theater gal in Vegas right now currently. And if she's in town and I have a show, she will come see it.

My dad is great, loves me, will watch anything that is like online, but is not going to come to my shows. Okay. My mom loves coming to shows. She is very supportive. She doesn't live in Los Angeles, but when she is in town, she'll see them. She'll be like, do you have anything I can see? My dad is not living. He's a dead ghost.

But he was like at every single show all the time. Yeah. Does your mom ask if you're going to do any more petroleum commercials? Remember that total petroleum commercial? No, but she does ask a lot. She got to see me do Ask Kat one time, and that was like a real highlight. Oh, yeah. That's kind of like the kind of, you know, the marquee show at the UCB theater.

Kind of an honor to be asked to sit in, I'm sure. Yes. Yeah. So she happened to be in town when I was doing it and that really blew her mind. She loved that. And she does listen to our podcast. Yeah. She has like favorite episodes.

She doesn't have least favorites that she has said to me. But yeah, she loves it. Like here's the ones I didn't like. I did a web series years ago when I lived in New York. So this is maybe 2010, 2009 with Kate McKinnon was in it, who is great and a pal. But my dad still references it and is like, when are you going to do a season two? I'm pretty sure, Kate. It's your call, isn't it?

It's up to me. It's also called Vag Magazine. It is called Vag Magazine. Wow. It's also called Vag Magazine. It is called Vag Magazine. Wow. It's about like a feminist magazine, not about raunchy vaginas.

Your mom would like it. Oh, good. It's about clean vaginas, not raunchy. There are vaginas, but they're not raunchy. You know what? They're just talking to each other. They're thoroughly douched. Does Gail listen to every episode of your pod? I think Gail still is confused as to how to download a podcast, which is great.

Yeah, that's my mom. Oh, I had a really good mom podcast, like a classic mom podcast encounter maybe over Christmas where she was like, now, do you really talk that fast? And guess what? It was on double speed. Of course. Do you really talk that fast? Do you really talk that fast? Do you really talk that fast? Wait, but she was also listening to the songs, which were also double speed?

She was genuinely listening to everything at two times speed. Right. So we fixed her. She thought it was like an affect. Yeah. You were putting on some sort of fast voice. Yes. I do listen to most podcasts and audios on one and a half speed.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Of the – because you guys are picking apart Rent song by song. What – do you guys have opinions as to which Rent songs hold up the best and which hold up the least? Because, I mean, I think that is kind of the thing with Rent. It is that it's so of a time. Sure. So there are some that are like, oh, this is just a fantastic show tune.

And then there's like, oh, this was so early 90s that it is a little cringy. There are some – like the instrumentation is like a little 90s-y to me. But honestly, the more I listen to it, like every time we have an episode and we listen to a song, even if it's a song that I'm like, this is a bad song. We listen to it and I'm like, I love it. Yeah. It's so good. Everything is perfect.

Yeah. Yeah. I've also only gone in that direction from like, this is maybe not one of my favorites and then now it just is among them. Okay. But it is embarrassing. Yeah. It's embarrassing to listen

to all of them i feel like what holds up seasons of love i don't think anyone feels is outdated it's sort of a evergreen song um what's blown my mind is that like every guest sort of has a different favorite and least favorite and so there will be a song where I'm like, everyone loves this song. And then suddenly someone will be like, you know what I don't like? Tango Maureen or What You Own. I love Tango Maureen when I re-listen to it for your show. Yeah. It rules.

Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. Well, great. We just had on Adam Pascal, who was the original Roger. Oh, great. We just had on Anthony – or not Anthony Rapp. God, I wish. Adam Pascal, who was the original Roger. Oh, wow. Just last week, and he was a real delight, and he didn't like Tango Marine. Really?

Yeah. But he also said his least favorite song is Your Eyes, Roger's big song. Oh, wow. Which was a real controversial move on his part. Yeah, I guess that shows – that's that shows that's just a lot of gumption to go on the show very definitive piece of rent journalism definitely journalism we know all our facts right you never say anything never get corrected correct sure excuse me i'm just gonna have a little evening tea we'll edit this out I hope you edit it in more sips please

oh you want to get sure you the audience demands more sipping okay Brian keep this in I guess so what you guys what we're about to do on the show now that we've had a lovely piece of chit chat and we all

we all feel like the audience feels like they know you great um we are going to do uh one of our most popular but also worst segments where jesse is not here and we taste test malt beverages great uh so yeah so let's all um yeah let's all have a nice drink of water, do some stretching, and then prepare ourselves to be disgusted. We'll be right back on Jordan and Jesse Go. It's Jordan and Jesse Go. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective, here with Brian Sonny D. Fernandez.

Hey, guys. To bring you some announcements. Brian, out from behind the glass. Yeah, I know. I snuck into the booth here while Jesse's gone. Behind the mic. Sneak right on in. Hey, we got a couple of jumbotrons.

This is a message for Trevor from Debra. And the message is as follows. Lubby, thank you for being such a wonderful husband and father. I'm the luckiest person in the world. Happy birthday. And don't forget about the shrimp. You can't forget about that shrimp. You can't forget about the shrimp.

Never forget about the shrimp. That's my golden rule. When you're talking to Lubby, don't forget about that shrimp. You can't forget about the shrimp. Never forget about the shrimp. That's my golden rule. Listen, when you're talking to Lubby, don't forget about the shrimp. Never. That's something we always say here on Jordan Jesse. Lubby, don't forget the shrimp. Brian, apparently there's a commercial Jumbotron. One of our listeners has a commercial message to share with everyone.

What is this? Well, are you a fan of Sting or are you a fan of not being a fan of Sting? Adam Ragusa and Meg Donahue are alternately admiring and making fun of Sting album by album on their new podcast, Outlandos De Podcast. Outlandos De Apostrophe Podcast. Yeah. They've just made it through the Police albums. New episodes every Monday or until they give up somewhere around the Loot album. The call to action for you, the listener, is to download Outlandos podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

If you're interested in Sting or dicking on Sting, apparently this is the podcast for you. You can go every other one depending on your feeling about Sting. Yeah, I'll spell that for you one more time. O-U-T-L-A-N-D-O-S-D apostrophe podcast. I'm assuming that is a reference to a Sting album. Yeah, it feels like a Sting reference. It feels like a Sting. I don't know that it's a Sting reference. But deep down in my gut, it feels right.

It feels right. Yeah. Hey, the Summer Boys of Summer Tour is coming to a town near you probably. Brian, to talk a little bit about this tour, I definitely wanted to ask you to tell the listeners what you've been doing for the tour. I mean, obviously, you know, Jesse and I are preparing a tightly scripted show for the audience. Right. But what have you been up to to prepare for the Summer Boys of Summer Tour? I've been working on all the little flourishes for the show.

I have a couple of blow-up palm trees. I've got some flashy sunglasses that we can put on or put on our guests. I don't know when they come out. Yeah, we'll ask the guests. We won't just put sunglasses on them. We'll ask for their consent first. Yeah, I mean, we ask consent first. But, yeah, we're ask the guests. We won't just put sunglasses on them. We'll ask for their consent first. Yeah, I mean, we ask consent first. But, yeah, we're working on some merch that might be fun out there.

Okay, might be some exclusive merch that you can only get at the show. Two-er exclusive merch that may or may not be a challenge coin. Okay. Sounds like it's a challenge coin. Yeah. And maybe some other stuff, too. Awesome. It's going to be great.

It's going to be a celebration of summertime. Yeah, the summer boy feeling is coming out. You know, it's coming on out. And we're starting this tour June 12th in Minneapolis. We got Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy, and Mike Nelson from Riff Trax all joining us on stage there. June 13th, we'll be in Chicago, joined by the great Courtney Enloe of Trends Like These and the Sci-Fi Fangirls website. June 14th in Seattle, June 15th in Portland. June 26th at the Bell House in Brooklyn with the great Ted Leo.

We will also be joined by Ted Leo and the great comedian Lamont Price on June 27th in Boston. June 28th, Washington, D.C. with the great Glenn Weldon from Pop Culture Happy Hour. And in Austin, Texas on June 29th with Griffin and Rachel McElroy of the McElroy Podcasting Family. Yeah, very excited for all these shows

and definitely for these shows we did not mention guests for. We are definitely working on some fun surprises for those shows. So if you're on the fence as to whether or not to buy a ticket, just buy a ticket. Just do it. There's going to be fun surprises. It's going to be great. Every show is going to be awesome. Yeah, it's going to be fun and special and unique for that venue. You get your tickets at MaximumFun.org slash Summer Boys of Summer. We have been receiving some messages from the venues telling us that some of these are

pretty close to selling out. So if you are curious about going, you're going to want to get those tickets now. MaximumFun.org slash Summer Boys of Summer coming to a town near you starting June 12th. We'll see you in a minute with more Jordan Desigo. It's Jordan Desigo. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. It's me love you, love you, love you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. It's me, Sarah, the bear, class bell. And it's me, Beth, yes, my president, a pal.

Oh! Well, let's just blow past that. The bear and someone else. The bear and her friend. Not my friend. Not my friend. Just an acquaintance. So something we do on this show when Jesse is not here, because Jesse is a non-drinker,

we have a strange tradition that I'm not sure why we're still doing where some guests and I taste test products from the malt beverage family of alcoholic drinks. So these are things like Smirnoff Ice, Bacardi O, Zima back in the day. These are kind of like heavily sugared drinks with a kind of beer-like amount of alcohol in them. And I have a complicated relationship to these things. It's kind of started out because we started tasting them because I thought they were gross. I've developed a bit of, let's call it Stockholm syndrome, where a kidnapping victim begins to empathize with their captors. Because, yeah, I feel like the more we do this, I don't know if they have just gotten better or my palate is changing to be more like that of a 19-year-old dirtbag. But I've been liking them more and more, and this is a really interesting batch. We actually kind of put the call out on last week's episode to see if people had any drinks they wanted us to try.

And so, yeah, these are all kind of versions of things that people on Twitter said that they were interested in hearing about. And before we start the taste, I want to ask you guys if you have any relationship to this kind of product. Is this something that you, you know, got in high school or college or whatever? Do you have a relationship to this kind of product? Sure. Not like a – not an intimate relationship. I'm not drinking malt beverages all the time. You're not married to them. I'm not married to them, but, you know, I'll go on a date with one.

Sure. Yeah. I enjoy them, but it's – I don't think I have purchased or drank a malt beverage in years. Okay. Yeah. Was this something like maybe college yes very collegey beth when you're like i want to drink but i don't i want it to taste good sure yeah i have little to no relationship with malt beverages yeah what was your guys's early drinking in general like when you were at a college party or a high school party like what was what was what was in the in the fridge um

i started drinking in like late high school because my uh one of my guy friends his parents were newly married um and would spend every weekend out of town at the cabin oh sure so we would all go to hit when shit gets crazy friend. When daddy's at the cabin. Daddy's in the cabin, baby. We're going to party with Boone's Farm. Sure. A lot of Boone's Farm wine, some tequila. I also am a quarter Asian, and I get really red when I drink.

Oh, that reminds me. I'm going to take a Pepsi to AC. Don't do that. I'm glad I brought this up. But it was, I'm sure my parents knew because I would get home and be like, oh, man, it was just so hot. Or we went in the hot tub. I just got stung by a bunch of bees out there. Look out for those bees.

Yeah. Yeah. I did not drink in high school. I drank one time. Someone told me I was less funny when I was drunk. And I did not drink again for the remainder in high school. I drank one time. Someone told me I was less funny when I was drunk. And I did not drink again for the remainder of high school. I was kind of a non-drinking dorkus in high school as well. I only had a couple of drinks in one of them.

The first one was at Micah Spino's house. And we passed around a giant metal container filled with Tang and vodka. Sure. The container that Tang came in. The, like, metal can. Wow. You don't want to waste containers. Right, of course not.

I mean, we were just being environmentally friendly. Yes. Reduce, reuse, recycle, everybody. Sure. And that applies specifically to when you're at Mike Espino's house. Sure. So we have actually four products on the menu today. The first one was suggested by OhHeyBales on Twitter.

They wanted to, I think a lot of these are kind of like things that maybe you can find regionally. So we kind of, Brian did his best to go out and find, you know, a version of this out in the kind of L.A. marketplace. So he did his darndest. They're not exactly what people recommended sometimes, but they're very close. Oh, hey, Bales wanted to wanted us to try something, a house wine grapefruit spritzer. And I think the thing that Brian found that was the most similar was this is truly rose spiked seltzer, rosé spiked seltzer.

Maybe there's no accent mark here on this fact sheet, so hence me saying rose. I see an accent mark. All right. You don't even have a fact sheet trying to make me look dumb. I know what an accent mark is. So, yeah, let's try this. This is in a nice slim can. Looks kind of like a Red Bull.

This is truly 5% alcohol by volume. I think I'm going to really like this. Ooh, yuck! No! No, no, no. This sucks. I'll drink the whole thing. Really? It doesn't taste almost like anything to me.

It tastes like rosé mixed with spritzer. It tastes like watered down perfume. It tastes like water that's been in soil. It tastes like you watered a plant, but then it drained out of the plant into this can. Oh, this sucks. Oh, man. I am not a fan fan it's got a weird aftertaste i just poured into my tang container i'll take it home um but no uh feelings thoughts something

you would drink more of i would not it tastes just really really watered down like it got left out and it lost some of whatever it originally had. Now, the reason I would drink it is I'm a little bit of a health nut. Sure. Yeah. I know that about you. And this is pretty healthy. Now tell me a little bit about the nutrition facts on the side there. Okay.

So it's 100 calories, which is low. Yeah. Not bad. It's a low number. Interesting. Go on. Like in the scheme It's a low number. Interesting. Go on. Like, in the scheme of how high numbers go. Sure.

I mean, if you're talking about a trillion. Sure. Sure. Very low. So then I'm always looking at sugar and carbs. Only two grams of carbs and one gram of sugar. That's pretty insane for, like, any sort of alcoholic beverage. It's basically a salad.

Sure. Yeah. And it's gluten-free. A lot of roughage in there. It's basically a salad. Sure, yeah. And it's gluten-free. A lot of roughage in there. It's gluten-free if you care about that. But I think it's bad. But Sarah? I like it. This is the best thing I've ever had.

Okay. Sarah's a functional alcoholic. Yeah. No, I think, I mean, I love rosé, and it's similar to rosé. It's sweet. Yeah. I like this.

I would drink it again. I'm not a huge fan of like stuff that tastes like flowers. Sure. And this has a little bit of that, but I still like it. Okay. So yeah. So maybe this is the perfect product for someone who is uh you know maybe watching their calories absolutely uh maybe someone who's who's maybe on a little bit of a diet they still want to kind of cut loose and have some fun um but you know they're they're kind of

looking to looking to watch the waistline uh someone who's maybe into rosé so rosé fan or someone who just likes uh you know sucking on a clor wipe. Who likes taking a Clorox wipe out of that plastic can and just sucking on it. Someone who looks at plants and is like, oh, I wish I could eat that dirt, but drink it. How? But what do I do? Hello, it's me, John Truly from Truly Rosé. And I have a solution to your problem. I don't know if that's who created it.

Okay, let's move on here, shall we? Let's do Pura Still. This was suggested by AtTobyWorks on Twitter, who I think has had one himself. He described it as like once the leftover ice in your cocktail melts. Not a great sentence. So this is actually even more health conscious. This is 90 calories. Yes.

4.5% alcohol by volume. Pura still spiked still water. So I guess I have had a spiked sparkling water before. Kind of an alcoholic version of a LaCroix, or if you're on my budget, a Kroger seltzer. Oh, it smells really bad. Yeah. Let's nose this before we put it in our mouths. You know, well. It kind of smells like nothing.

It smells like cough syrup to me. Oh, yeah. I just got it, actually. A little bit. Medicinal. There's a medicinal. Yeah, it smells like after you take cough syrup what the spoon smells like because it's not. You got to smell that spoon. Listen, I'm smelling that spoon, baby. You got to smell the spoon.

Sarah's drunk. I drank all three cans of that Truly already. And she's just sniffing spoons left and right. Give me a spoon. Boy, yeah, I am anticipating not liking the stillness. The stillness. Yeah, that's weird. Because when you do have a flavored seltzer or something, you know, the bubbles are fun.

But then if you, like, leave it out and come back to it later, it just, yeah, it just tastes like thick water. But, yeah, let's let's try this is blackberry flavored pura still spiked still water okay oh don't like that it's flat oh i definitely don't like that it's flat that's very bad this sucks the flatness of it is awful yes if there were bubbles i would like this a little bit. Yeah, you might be right. But yeah, this just is weird, thick water that leaves a film on the tongue.

I'm going to have one more sip. Sure. Just to make sure I hate it and I actually do. Yeah, it tastes like when ice has melted and there's just a tiny bit of flavor, but it's not good. No, I mean that's actually – maybe at Tobyworks, kind of hit it on the head. Right, exactly.

This is like – right. This is just like when you're nervously – yeah, when you're like nervously trying to take a last drink of something that's been gone. Yes. All right. So 4% alcohol by volume. So yeah, maybe if you're even more calorie conscious and just want to drink something that makes your tongue feel dirty. I cannot imagine drinking that instead of regular water.

Okay. So, okay. Actually, this next one I'm optimistic about. This is a Bud Light Orange. Someone was suggesting there's a Bud Light Lemon Tea suggested by Sid Anderson over there on Twitter. Thanks, Sid Anderson. What up, Sid Anderson? Yeah.

So I think this is actually a proper bud light so i think what we're having here is a beer with flavor um and in general i really like this this family of thing the bud light lime i think is really good big fan uh the limerita is terrible um it's a lot yeah but the bud light lime is honestly pretty tasty and if this is this has a little orange flavor in it and um yeah i actually think actually think I'm going to like this. I'm anticipating a win here. The color I would describe as urine. Orange urine.

Unhealthy urine. Yeah. Like urine that would cause your doctor to be concerned. Yes. This is when you haven't had water in, like, two days. Right. Yes. This is when you haven't had water in like two days. Right. Yes. This is when you've been only drinking truly.

This is what your urine is like. But yeah, let's have a taste of this. No. Oh, boy. It makes me wish I was drinking Bud Light Lime. Yes. Yeah. Bud Light Lime is great.

It's so good. It's a great product. It truly is one of my favorite things to drink in the summer. Yeah. What's wrong? No, it's terrific. And yes, it's summer all the way. And yeah, this is kind of a weird off version of it.

Yeah. I think I might still have some blackberry in the back of my tongue. So I'm sort of trying to cleanse my palate with some water. I'm gonna go back in. There's kind of an unpleasant, yes, I think we're creating kind of an unpleasant boozy fruit salad in our mouths. Yes. A bad

side of, diner side of fruit that is getting us fucked up. This has been brewed with real orange peels, though, apparently. Yeah. I don't hate it, but it is just yeah, it's like in between things that I would like. Yeah, it is reminiscent enough of the spectacular Bud Light Lime, but it is spectacular. Award winning, A plus beverage. Yeah, so maybe a nice – if you're pounding the Bud Light limes this summer and you want a slight variation, maybe this is the product for you.

But yeah, get the real thing, I think. Yeah. Okay, and this last one here is – oh, I think this is going to be kind of fun. This is from Upstate New York's oldest brewery. They put hemp into a new malt beverage. This is Hemp Tales. Sure. Woo-woo. They do not contain psychoactive substances like THC.

So this is just the flavor of pot, which I think we all like. That's my number one top thing I like about pot. Right. The flavor. The taste. Oh, and I'll go back and say the Bud Light Orange was 4.2% alcohol by volume. And excuse me. Excuse me.

What a gross segment. You got to go back to the still water so you don't burp. Yeah. Let's get that nasty still water in there. So this is 8% alcohol by volume. 8%. So yeah, let's try some hemp tails. Woo.

Yes, thank you very much for picking up my slack there. God, it really smells weedy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sure, it smells like a... It smells like the couch in my dorm common room. Yeah, I don't mean... I hate to be a real loser,

but I don't like weed. I don't hate it, but it just never makes me feel great. So I don't do it. Sarah and I smoked putt together a year or two ago, and we coughed for 30 minutes. What was the occasion? We coughed for 30 minutes. What was the occasion? We were watching Starving Games, the Hunger Games parody spoof movie. That sounds funny. Yeah, I guess.

It took us a while to get into it because we were coughing. Is it one of those movies where just like a pop culture figure comes in and they're like... It is hundreds of them. Miley Cyrus, what are you doing here in the starving game yes and then she twerks or something yes okay i couldn't tell you a single thing that happened during the movie but they're in the woods you two blaze we blazed and then i felt so uh self-conscious for the next six hours um yeah so this has um let me let me yeah mouth this a little bit more. Oh, no. The smell is kind of bad.

It kind of smells bad going into it. It does smell like, you know, a hot boxed car. Yeah. It's really gross. It tastes like drinking sugary bong water. Yeah. Which we've all done, right? Sure.

Yeah. We've all licked spoons. We're just a bunch of bong water drinking spoon lickers. Yeah, so, yeah, I mean, I think the actual flavor of this is not the worst to me. I mean, it is kind of the Smirnoff Ice, you know, Zima-y taste that you associate with malt beverages. But when you're going into the glass, you just get that whiff of weed. It's so strange. It's mostly smell, it seems like.

Yeah. This also, for me, has that same medicinal, almost like cloying sweetness. This is my least favorite tasting. Oh, interesting. Yes. Yeah, I think this is my least favorite too. Well, let's go around and maybe just kind of give a favorite. I think in general, these are all failures.

I wouldn't say so. But maybe if there's one of these to try, maybe let's all give a recommendation. Beth, we'll start with you. The Truly Rosé, the Puristil, the Bud Light Orange, or the Hemp Tales? Woo. Woo. Woo. I'm going to recommend the Truly Rosé simply for the health benefits. Right, yes, exactly.

And the bubbles. If you're looking to get jacked, if you want to get jacked for swimsuit season, pound a couple of Truly Rosés. Everyone wants to look jacked in their swimsuit. Oh, sure. Look at that. Jacked, babe. I found that one to be like the least offensive tasting. Okay.

Or like just the least tasting of anything. Because it has the least taste. Yes. Okay. Sarah, I think I know which way you're going, but just to be official about this. Sure. To be official, I love Truly know which way you're going, but just to be official about this. Sure. To be official, I love Truly. I would buy this and drink it tonight.

I might. Well, if you want a couple of backwash cans of it, we can just make sure you don't get pulled over on the way home. Yeah, we'll just drive home with these open Truly's. Can I offer you a Truly officer? Why didn't you say so? All right. right go on your way you guys are okay there's a fun policeman voice you did there me yeah oh thanks you should be a cop hey have you thought about it um i don't think they'd let me in okay too good at being a cop. Voice too cool? Too cool of a voice.

And that has kept me out of several industries. Okay, well, let's... There's kind of another test of... Oh, but also, what is your favorite? Oh, my favorite. I think I will go Bud Light Orange on this one. Yeah, you know, I'm a fan of the General Zone. And I think, like you said, the Bud Light Lime is an amazing product. And I think just because this is a little bit reminiscent of it, it automatically is my fave.

But all in all, these are all very, very bad and no one should buy any of them. Shout out to just regular water. Yeah. Shout out to water. water. Yeah. Shout out to water. Please drink it. Right. If you want your pee to not look like Bud Light Orange, try water. So there's actually kind of another test of these, and it's which one do you find yourself going back to over the course of the rest of the show?

Oh. So let's just – we'll continue with the show, And if you feel, you know, compelled to grab any of these and sip on them, please do. And then maybe we can check in again at the end of the episode and see if there's one that you were, you know, just your your your lizard brain was reaching for. I think I'm going to try all of them at least one more time. Okay, I'd like that. Just to try it out for science for science, and podcasts and podcasts, which is a kind of science of the heart. It's a science of the heart. So actually, we actually have a little bank of momentous occasions.

We did not do them last week, so they've been piling up. So yeah, now that we've all – we all have weird tastes in our mouths, let's listen to some of these momentous occasions that callers share with us by calling 206-984-4FUN. Brian, let's hear the first call. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and wonderful guest. This is Derek from Nashville calling you with a momentous occasion. I was at a sort of premium thrift store, the kind that cultivates and curates all the stuff in it.

And I bought what I thought was some compression shorts that you would wear under gym shorts when you work out to keep yourself contained. And I was researching the brand of them, and it turned out what I bought instead was some flatulence filtering underwear. What? I'm not sure how it is with the compression head. I'm really excited to try these on. I'm going to wash them a bunch. Don't worry. And I'm just really delighted that I got this extra perk

in this sort of undergarment. Keep up the great work. So, yeah, he bought some secondhand pants filled with someone else's farts. That's what they do. They trap the farts and they keep them in there. It's like a Pandora's Fart Box. Yeah. I mean, are you maybe saving them for winter when things are cold? Yeah. I mean, are you maybe saving them for winter when things are cold?

Yeah. Maybe you can heat your house with your own collected fart. I wonder what the science behind that is. How does one filter a fart? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like this must be a Shark Tank product. No, it's got to be.

I wonder if there's like a dryer sheet back there. Oh, that's probably just what it is. You just kind of, right. So you think that it filters, you fart and the air goes out, but it filters it into good smelling air? Kind of a clean baby powder scented poof. Oh my gosh. Buying secondhand compression shorts to begin with is, yeah, go just, you know what, save up, buy some regular compression shorts

yeah you know hey i mean i'm i'm in i'm i'm in favor of saving a buck sure you got it that's why i buy kroger brand seltzer water you gotta buy kroger brand seltzer water uh but yeah of the things to get at a thrift store maybe compression shorts or like, you know. You can't get like bras there. Sex toys. Yeah. Yeah. But something that is like right up against your even shorts, which is over like compression shorts, which is over underwear. But it's like compression.

Right. I don't want to buy something that's been like super pressed up against another human. Yeah. Something that is specifically for the privates. And for working for privates that are working out at the time. Right. Because I don't know about you, but that's when my privates are at their worst. Okay, let's all name when our privates are at their worst.

Arbor Day. Okay. Me too. Yeah. Arbor Day. It's a bad time for privates. It's a bad time. Working out.

Working out. Yeah, it's a bad time for privates. It's a bad time. Working out. Working out, yeah, sure. But yeah, well, I wish our caller happy laundry and happy farting. Happy farting. Happy farting, caller. Brian, can we play the next call? Hi, this is Anders from Calgary. Hi, this is Anders from Calgary. My sister just called me and said that she, I think, saw Steve Buscemi riding his bicycle in the middle of the road while drinking a carton of milk.

We both have about a thousand questions, but definitely the most exciting thing that's happened to us all week. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. I mean, my first thought was that I don't think Steve Buscemi lives in Calgary, but then where does Steve Buscemi live? I mean, I don't know. Yeah. He could live in Calgary.

Or maybe he's visiting. Maybe he's shooting. Sure. Maybe he's like the best milk is in Calgary. Or maybe he's visiting. Maybe he's shooting. Sure. Maybe he's like the best milk is from Calgary. I got to get there to get that nice Canadian bag milk. Although he did say it was out of a carton. Yeah. Yeah.

Does Calgary have bag milk? That's kind of a Canadian point of pride is they have a bagged milk and they call Kraft macaroni and cheese Kraft dinner. Yeah. Can I go back to the bagged milk? Sure. I don't know much more about it. What does it look like on a shelf? I'm unsure, but I heard about it.

I'm not sure from Bare Naked Ladies, but there's a Christian ska band called Five Iron Frenzy. Oh, yeah. That I was really into for a real hot minute. Oh, and they have the Canada song. Yeah, they've got the Canada song where they reference bagged milk, which I was like, what? And truly. I got to look into this. I had to look into it.

Yeah. Is it trying to like replicate a breast? Yikes. In Canada, it is actually illegal to touch a breast. So they have to have. Why is that a yikes? Why is that a yikes? Drink more of your truly.

Chill out, dude. I will. Have a truly. You're too uptight. Pound a couple truly's and chill out. I'm just here to help you with your homework. Come on. Have a truly. Sarah, I feel like you do have a reputation

as comedy's biggest Barenaked Ladies fan. I mean, I was recently on a Barenaked Ladies podcast because you and Will Hines both recommended me as such. And they only have people on who have two or more recs. You have to have five years of experience to recommend. It's like getting on exclusive dating app Raya. You need people to vouch for you. I felt a lot of pressure when I was on, too. I was like, oh.

What song did you do? Who Needs Sleep, which is – I was – That's like one of the classics. Yeah. It's just not one of my – I like their songs that have like layers to, that have metaphor and stuff like that. And it's a great song. It's got a good beat, some fun lyrics, but I just wanted a little bit more. Okay.

Yeah. Do you keep up with Bare Naked Lake? Do you like... Yeah. What's their recent output like? It's still pretty good. It's just not the same as their old output but i think they have some really good songs okay yeah beth do you have like a childhood high school

band that you like still keep up with and like buy their albums even if you know they're not the coolest anymore um no okay you've discarded everything from high school except rent, which you do a podcast about. Yeah. I don't listen to a ton of music. My high school band was They Might Be Giants. Oh, okay. But I do not keep up with them. But I went to Australia with Will Hines.

I guess we'll just keep mentioning him. Sure. Will Hines. He did make – Local favorite, Will Hines. Local favorite. You got to meet him. He's the best.

If you're visiting in L.A., you do LACMA, Walk of Fame. Sure. And hang out with Will Hines. That's the L.A. things to do. Sure. But he made me a post-9-11 They Might Be Giants mix. Oh, there's some good, you know, I really loved They Might Be Giants in high school and definitely like kind of over into college.

And yeah, they're not a band I like keep up with but i do like check in on them yeah i like will just boot them up on something and yeah their their recent songs are really good oh nice i'll check them out check the recent songs out i shall i uh one of the bands that i definitely like keep up with is bad religion like i will listen to every new Bad Religion thing. And I think unlike a lot of like those punk bands from the 80s, like Bad Religion have gotten better. Like those bands, for the most part, when you see them are very sad. And when you like, you know, when you hear the new output, it's like, oh boy, like this is you guys, this is fine when you're 16. But but boy this is you guys should not be doing this anymore yeah but bad religion really seems to have you know they still sound like themselves but they you know they kind of grow in these interesting ways and and the output is still very very good and i was listening to some there's like a new bad religion album it might be out this week it's coming out soon uh but i was listening to some of like the advanced tracks and i was

really thinking about how good they were and how excited i was for the new album i uh just like even like then that week that i was listening to those songs i was at a bar and i saw a guy from bad religion at the bar so not like you know there's kind of two you know there are kind of two guys who you associate most with bad religion but this is one of the other guys. Okay. And I did not know his name off the top of my head. Still don't. But I saw him and I'm like that guy's in bad religion. I was just listening to their new songs. You know what? I bet he'll

appreciate me going up to him and saying how much I like these new songs. Yeah probably. I like them. They're great. And he's like he's not there with anyone and he's not being mobbed by anyone either so I'm like great. This're great. So I just and he's like he's you know he's not he's not like there with anyone and he's not being mobbed by anyone either. So I'm like great. Like this is going to seem kind of cool.

You just drop in. Yeah. Hey what's up. And you know maybe I'll make this guy's day. You know because I you know I think you're you know they are not at the height of their fame so they're probably not being mobbed in public. So I bet a guy coming up to you and saying, you know, I like the new stuff. I'm excited for the new album.

It's probably a lot of fun. Sure. Yeah. So I go up to this guy and I tap him on the shoulder. I'm like, hey, man, I don't want to bug you, but I just had to say, I think those new Bad Religion songs are great. He looks at me and he's like,

I have not been in the band for six years. Oh, no. And just walks away. I didn't know there was a lineup change. Wow. They had a lineup change, and I am a fucking asshole. Oh, yikes. Anyway, but if you're out there and you want to hear the new Bad Religion album, it's good.

And maybe one of their old members has a new project you should check out. Or he's just hanging around in L.A. bars. Wow. Brian, do we have another call? This is Sean calling in with a home visit occasion. My wife, who is both a lawyer and a porn star, is going on vacation with my girlfriend, both a lawyer and a porn star is going on vacation with my girlfriend, who

is a interior designer without me because I have to stay home and take care of our kids. And I think that's pretty awesome that they are such good friends that they are on vacation together without me.

Thanks. Wait a minute. I don't. Okay. Here's what the momentous occasion line is not for. Listeners. Here's what the momentous occasion line is not for. For bragging.

We get it. You have kids. Congratulations. We get the point of your call. You got kids. Congratulations. We get the point of your call. You got kids. Congratulations. I'm sure they're beautiful. We without kids don't know what love is.

It's the hardest job you'll ever love. Fuck you, dude. Kids. Listen, I'm not ruling it out, but maybe I just haven't met anybody. Sure. And it's about connection. Kids. Listen. I may, I just, you know, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not ruling it out, but maybe I just haven't met anybody, you know? And it's about connection. You know what? Kids could happen. They could happen.

They could. It's, with modern science, it's happening later and later for people. Yeah. And, you know, I just want to make sure that the other parts of my life are in order. And he, more than one kid. Yeah. Kids. My kids.

Wow. Geez, guy. Oh, their little kid. Yeah. Kids. My kids. Wow. Geez, guy. Oh, darn little family. Boy, play and catch. Go in a ballet. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you.

Fuck you. You're, oh. Congratulations. Congrats, I guess. Go play with your kids. Yeah. Go make them some craft dinner. Yeah.

Have some milk in a bag if you're from canada you smug fuck i bet you are so smug up there with your health care and that handsome prime minister fuck you all right well i have two bad tastes in my mouth one taste of many many terrible malt beverages and the taste of one that's pretty good i tell you all right well okay i'm the only one who doesn't like truly okay i don't mean to be painting this segment with a blanket statement some of us like truly and you know what i'm glad for you i'm glad that you guys enjoyed truly um and i guess i'm glad that our caller has a happy family, you know. Yeah. Good for you. Good for you. Good for you. You and your many kids. Enjoy the zoo.

Yeah. I go to the zoo by myself constantly. Man, it's great. I love it. Yeah. Can eat whatever I want. Your back seat with car seats in it, buddy. Yeah. Too much? Beth it, buddy. Yeah.

Too much? Beth, chill out. Yeah, come on. We don't want to make this guy feel bad. Beth, you bought so many car seats. Sorry.

It really rubs me the wrong way. All right. Well, we've had, I don't know if it's been a lot of fun, but we've had some fun during this segment.

Let's take a little breather. We'll chill out and then we'll come back to wrap up this episode of Jordan, Jesse go. I'm bailiff, Jesse Thorne and justice is within your reach. My mom refuses to take my phone calls. My boyfriend says I should take our cats with me to graduate school, but I think he should keep them.

In the court of Judge John Hodgman, justice rules. My partner's board game collection is out of control. My sister won't stop stealing my clothes. I'm Judge John Hodgman. I'm tough, but fair. Tough, but fair. I'll bring you justice, and I'm only a click away. Tipping.

Automotive etiquette. Siblings. Roommates. If you've got a case, go to MaximumFun.org slash JJHO. Judge John Hodgman is tough, but fair. Tough, but fair. Subscribe to the podcast today. Judge John Hodgman is tough, but fair. Tough, but fair. Subscribe to the podcast today. Judge John Hodgman rules.

That is all. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. If you're looking for a new comedy podcast, why not try the Beef and Dairy Network? It won Best Comedy at the British Podcast Awards in 2017 and 2018. Also, I love it. There were no horses in this country until the mid to late 60s. Specialist bovine arse vet. Both of his eyes are squid's eyes.

Yogurt buffet. She was married to a bacon farmer who saved her life. Farm-raised snow leopard. Download it today. That's the Beef and Dairy Network podcast from MaximumFun.org. Also, maybe start at episode one or, weirdly, episode 36, which for some reason requires no knowledge of the rest of the show. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, I respect you less because you didn't stick to your guts. Oh, no. It's a toss-up.

Double-edged sword. Double-edged sword there. I can't win. Beth and Sarah, thank you so much for being on the program. Oh, thanks for having us. Of course, people should check out your guys' shows at the UCB Theater if they're ever in the Los Angeles area. Please do. You should check out the episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine that Sarah was on where she sang acapella with Terry Crews.

It's a lot of fun there. But I definitely do want to point people at your fantastic podcast, Everything is Rent. I was on it. It was a blast. You've had a murderer's row of all of comedy's favorites. It's a lot of fun. In some cases, people who have actually been in Rent, too. Yes. And It's a lot of fun. In some cases, people who have actually been in Rent, too. Yes.

And it's a lot of fun. If you were ever a theater dorkus, it's just a delight and a fun excuse to revisit a fun time in the history of musical theater.

Well, thanks. And you can find that wherever you get your podcasts, right? Yes. Except one place, but we don't want to talk about it.

Let's not talk about that one. Most of the places. Most of the places. There's one we refuse to be on, but we won't tell you which one. Yeah. If you're on it and you can't find the show, that's it. Well, thanks. Do you guys have Twitter handles people should should make sure to follow? Sure. I'm at claspi on all of the social medias. Yes. I'm on Twitter at BethAppel. I think mostly on Instagram

at Appelsass, which is also Appel's ass. Accidental thing that I did. Own it. Lean in. It's supposed to be like Applesauce, Appelsass. Oh, sure, sure. But it is now Appel's ass. And then ourauce, appelsass. Oh, sure, sure. But it is now appelsass. And then our podcast Twitter is?

Everything underscore rent, I think. Or everything is rent. That's on Instagram. Everything is rent. Yeah. Consolidate the handle. Sorry, I don't want to. We can't.

Okay. I'm sure you've tried to consolidate that. Mr. Twitter reached out to us and he was like, you can't. You can't? Sorry. He said we can't. To me, Jack, from Twitter. You can't do it. That's what I talk like.

Before we say goodbye, I feel like we should check in RE Malt Beverages. During the call segment, were you guys sipping on anything? Is there anything you went back to? Have you changed your opinion now that they've been sitting in your tummies for a period? I retried all of them. The water one is just awful still. The weed one, I couldn't like less. I don't like it.

But the orange has come up a little bit for me. Okay. I think the Truly has more bubbles, but I think the Bud Light Orange has the right amount of bubbles. Beth? I'm sticking with the Truly. Health reasons, of course. Of course, yeah. You got to get jacked.

Yeah. You got to get jacked for the swimsuit season. And then also, it's less offensive to burp after drinking that than the other ones. And yeah, and I feel awful. That's my check-in. Yeah, thank you for this.

I'm at Jordan underscore Morris on Twitter, Brian Fernandez producing the program. Check us out on the Summer Boys of Summer Tour. You can get your tickets over there at MaximumFun.org

we are coming to many cities across this great nation starting in June make sure to come out and see us we've got lots of great guests until next time this is Jordan Morris saying Jesse's not here MaximumFun.org

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