Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 584: Bing Bang Boo with Liz Feldman

Episode Date: May 14, 2019

Liz Feldman (Dead to Me) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jordan's big Mother's Day Energy and his early dinner with his mom and the ultimate stepdad Brad, the authenticity of the portrayal of Orange County in Liz's new Netflix show Dead to Me, and the amazing donut people in Jesse’s neighborhood. Plus, we get into the newly-named Jordan, Jesse, Go! Colosseum to see who is represented more in the audience -- people who have ridden three-wheeled motorcycles (or in a sidecar), people who have replica weapons from a film, or people who have had an encounter with a supernatural being! Give us a call or email if you want to stand up and be counted for this week's JJGo Coliseum -- 206-984-4FUN or [e-mail]!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, jacked off Mother's Day energy! Oh yeah! Yeah! I'm bringing it, I'm jazzed, I don't know when I'm gonna come down From this M.D.E.

Mother's Day Energy Had an early dinner with Mom and Brad It went great I'm pumped Oh shit dude Never gonna die You're covered in yellow roses, homie. That's right, baby.

Mother's Day is just getting started. Oh, fuck. Mm-hmm. Oh, fuck. I didn't know it was Mother's Day in this motherfucker. Sure. What, do you want to do a four-hour show today? I got the energy.

I got the juice. Woo! Yeah. Great Mother's Day. Love moms. Single moms. Working moms., moms of fur babies. Sure, why not? Everybody's talking about the Avengers these days.

Yeah. The real superheroes. Uh-huh. Moms. Their moms? No, no. Actual moms. But Mrs. Rogers, mother of Captain America.

Hats off to you. You birthed a hero. Hulk smash? Mom smash. Thank you. Mother day energy. I've got it. I'm bringing it. Jacked about moms.

Can I ask you a quick question? No. Are you confident you didn't just smoke some crank? Oh, yeah. I thought, you know, it's weird because at our early dinner, mom ordered a round of mimosas, but I think the guy heard crank. Okay. And he did bring us out little glass pipes.

Oh, okay. And I thought that was what a mimosa was. You thought maybe it was a fun. I usually don't eat that early, so I was just kind of. It was maybe like a fun allusion to Brad's hobby of playing the trombone. Yeah, it could have been. Yeah. Man, I mean, if you're wondering why I'm so jacked.

Yeah. It's because the early dinner conversation consisted of us hearing about Brad's ride on a World War II bomber. Oh, shit. Ultimate stepdad. Brad. Oh, Brad is stepdadding so fucking hard at brunch. I'm so proud of that guy. I'm so fucking proud of my late in life stepdad.

Riding on a bomber. Showing us pics. Telling us about turrets. God. So jacked off MDE. Mother's Day energy. Should we? Yes.DE. Mother's Day energy. Yes, let's introduce our guest. Introduce our guest here.

She's a comic and writer and most importantly, the creator of the smash hit television show, Netflix doesn't have ratings. Dead to me, Liz Feldman. ratings. Dead to me. Liz Feldman. Hi. Hi, Liz. I, too, am jacked off from sweet Mother's Day energy.

We can tell. Yeah. Yeah. Mine's, it's more subtle. Yeah. It's a, it's a, it's right. It's like a, whereas mine is kind of a crank energy. You kind of have a, have a, have a, like a lean.

Yeah. I'm sort of just leaning into the Mother's Day energy. Just accepting it. Letting it bathe over me. Can I offer you guys something? Yes. Happy Mother's Day to the two of you every day.

Wow. Thank you. Every day. Ooh, I'm sorry. I already make it Arbor Day every day. Okay. Liz, what were your... Because you were telling us you spent Mother's Day with mom. I spent the whole day with my mother. We went over to my sister's, my sister Rebecca, for a little bagel brunch. Oh, that's nice. Bagels, lox, cream cheese.

It's a Jewish Sunday tradition. All the fixins. Yes, all the fixins. Any capers? I was going to ask about capers. It's funny you should mention capers. It's a big sort of conflict in my family because I don't like capers, but everybody else does. It's a little pickled flower.

We're doing all right as a family if that's our biggest conflict. This caper thing is tearing us apart. Capers, yes, there were capers that gets tearing us apart. Yeah. Capers. Yes. There were capers. There were sliced onion. Do I need to go into the entire platter? Would you please? I mean, that was actually the start of the American Civil War was Robert E. Lee loves capers.

Really? Ulysses S. Grant hates them. I thought it was racial. Oh, interesting. Capers actually, yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I thought it was racial. No. Oh, interesting. Capers, actually, yeah. Interesting. But yes, and then I sort of stole my mom away for the day, and we went to the Natural History Museum, and we went to the Butterfly Pavilion.

I love that pavilion. I've been in that pavilion. I'm worried I'm going to crush something. Name a better pavilion. Can't do it. Don't. There isn't one. You can't.

There ain't a better pavilion. We were a little disappointed. We didn't like it. Don't. There isn't one. You can't. There ain't a better pavilion. We were a little disappointed. We didn't like it. No. So this is at the Natural History Museum. Yeah, and it's great. It is great. And it's like, you know, it's a lovely thing to go do.

And, you know, you have a time that you are allowed to go and it's a reservation thing. But there weren't a huge variety of butterflies. Not today. Maybe it's part of where we are in the season. I don't know. But I do love butterflies. No, it's always nice. I just wanted just a few more variations.

You give them your $5. They give you your little cup of nectar. Wait, what? Don't you get a little cup of nectar for them? Well, shit, Yeah, don't you get like a little cup of nectar for them to eat? Well, shit, I don't get no cup. Maybe that's only in the bird pavilion. No, no. There's no – they're very, very careful and persnickety about this butterfly situation.

Like you have to go through two doors so that no butterflies can get out. There's one of those silkwood showers. Yes. They scrub you down. That's right. No, but you actually do have to do quite literally a dance when you're leaving because you have to shake your clothes out so that you don't— It's a picture of no stowaway butterflies. Yes, because they want to get the fuck out of there.

I mean, a butterfly is like a seasonal creature. It is. They don't have a long lifespan. I would think there must be sometimes when you just go there and they're like, sorry, it's September. You get clothing moths. Yeah. I mean, you would think. I think it actually ends in, I think it's March to September is the pavilion. Right. Am I showing for the pavilion right now?

And then in September, you just roll around in the corpses. You can bring kids in there to roll around. That is very, very dark. Husk time. Very, very dark. Your show came up at Mother's Day. Did it? It did because I was recommending my family watch it because we are from Orange County.

And that's where the show is set. Yes, it is. And I was watching an episode. It is great, by the way. Thank you. People should watch. Very funny. Thank you.

Very heartfelt. Thank you. And there's a Very funny. Thank you. Very heartfelt. Thank you. And there's a little bit of a mystery. Yes, there is. A little bit of something for everyone. And there's a lot of, like, you know, there's been some writing about Orange County. There's been fiction set in Orange County. And, you know, some

things I think people get right, some things I think don't. But I think something I saw... Chevy Chase doesn't really live there, like in the movie Orange County right exactly Colin Hanks does and so there was just and you know I don't know if it was actually shot there or not but definitely all the all the locations are are dead on and there was a great to know that's that feels good yeah there was just an exterior shot of kind of a swanky beach house. So you see the shot, and then the only person in the shot is just a man in a pork pie hat riding one of those giant skateboards. And I'm like, they got it! This is it!

It was the best detail, dead on. Anyway. You want to hear a fun little facty about that? Love a fact. That man with the pork pie hat riding the longboard was our DP, Danny Motor. Really? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

I mean, is he an Orange County resident or does he just have the vibe? He is not an Orange County resident, but he is a Southern California native. So he knows. Oh, sure. He knows. He knows. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he's from Santa Monica, but yeah. Okay. But it feels good for you to say that we got that part of it right. My wife, as you know, because you went to high school with her. Yes. She's a singer-songwriter. Rachel Cantu, past guest on this program. Thank you very much.

She's also obviously from Orange County, so that is part of the inspiration for me setting it there is because I'm now so familiar with it because my other set of my family lives there. Oh, nice. Awesome. Yeah. Yes, it is nice. It is definitely like I think Orange County stuff can either like glamorize it in a weird way or villainize it in a weird way.

And I've not watched the whole show, but it seems to it's doing a nice job of not doing either of those things in a weird extreme. Yeah, I wasn't trying to I either, villainize nor glamorize. It's a silly place, and I think you captured it without making it seem like too much of a slam. Thank you. Yeah. Appreciate it. Yeah, no, it's made with love.

I can tell. My father's parents lived in Orange County when I was a kid. So most of my Orange County memories are chain restaurant pie related. That makes perfect sense. Yeah. I think that I, yeah, I grew up in Brooklyn, New York where we have, where at least when I was growing up, we had no chain restaurants. So Rachel often, you know, talks about, you know, Marie Callender's or a claim jumper. I was about to say claim. Yeah. I didn't even know what claim jumper was as of like I would say three years ago. I thought she was. You've never been to a Gold Rush themed steakhouse?

You haven't lived. Is that what it is? Yeah. It's Gold Rush themed. Oh. I think they have scaled the theming back recently and just it kind of just looks like a T.J. Friday's inside now. OK.

It's nice that you don't have to worry about a prospector stealing your table anymore. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. So, yeah. Right. It's the great it's a great land rush.

But with a prime rib that's the size of your arm. Well, that makes sense why it's only in California then. Yeah. Yeah. But yes, the the the like prospect minor stuff used to be pretty heavy. It used to be like, you know, the the the waitstaff would wear like prairie outfits and they would send your laundry to China. Right.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Often you would die of dysentery before you left. Oh, okay. That was kind of fun. Yeah. But they had a Ms. Pac-Man, which was not on theme, but always fun for me. Also explains why it didn't turn into a national chain.

Right. Yeah. Ms. Pac-Man is pretty regional. Right. Yeah, exactly. Jesse, did you guys do Mother's Day stuff today? We did some Mother's Day stuff. My wife, I had a family meeting with my wife that was like, what would you like to have

for Mother's Day? She said, I told the kid, I had offered to make French toast, which is one of my wife's favorites. One of my favorites, too. It's a great kind of toast. What a wonderful version of toast. Hey, millennials, instead of avocado toast, why not give French toast a try? Then maybe you could afford a home.

Which is your top regional toast, French or Texas? Oh, please. Yeah. French, hands down. I mean, I'm not going to kick a Texas toast out of bed, but I'm a Frenchie. Okay. When it comes to toast. I'm all about French.

I'd take a Texas toast in a second. Wow. Over French. Don't like sweet bread. Oof. Wow. Sorry, pondulce. That's the reality of the situation.

You got to face it. Okay. But Texas toast is so thick. I know. It's so weird. It's so much bread. And I want to be clear that the only Texas toast I have ever had is the kind that you buy in like the freezer section of Costco. I don't think real Texans would approve.

Like I have an aunt who lives in- Freezer section of Costco? Suburban. I was alluding to those salsa commercials from a while back. I don't think that landed. Suburban. I wasn't sure to those salsa commercials from a while back. I don't think that landed. Suburban. I wasn't sure if that was right. I was like, is that a Texas accent?

Yeah. I was trying for something. It didn't work. You were like a New York City. Yeah, that's what I was trying to do, but yeah, I fucked it up. Hey, hey. Jesse was right. Where's that Mother's Day energy?

No, you're right. I'm right. Here it comes. It's back. I have an aunt who is a real estate agent in suburban northern Virginia. She specializes in lifestyle transitions. Shout out to Debbie Miller. Wow.

And she has always had – she lived in a beautiful ranch house. And they do a lot of cooking out and a lot of eating foods that were never available in my house. It's like the kind of house where like there's like a little fridge with sodas in it if you want a soda. And that like suburban life of profligacy was never accessible to me as a young person. So it really and also they also they like tasty stuff. Like they eat like a nice steak at their cookout, you know?

Sure. And so like that version of like American excess, but like the nice version I got there. And that's where I've had Texas toast. So I like associate it with a feeling of like, yeah, there's a pool here. You know what I mean? That's very specific've had Texas toast. So I like associate it with a feeling of like, yeah, there's a pool here. You know what I mean? That's very specific.

I know. But I associate French toast with not liking sweet breads. I mean, that's more general and fair. It's one of the sweetest breads. I do like sweet breads, though. Tiny bits of brain. Oh, so that's where you lose me. Oof.

Yeah, that's not a thing I'm going to put in my mouth. Instead of fried sweetbread, maybe? Instead of putting powdered sugar on French toast, what if it was tiny bits of brain? I would probably like that. I prefer savory breakfast. What can I say? Anyway. Yeah.

What was the thing we were talking about? You were talking about your Mother's Day. What you did for Mother's Day. Oh, yeah. So you had a romantic meeting where you discussed breakfast. No, it doesn't sound romantic. No. I'm going to be honest.

Any meeting, like my romantic time, when you have three children, your romantic time with your wife is just confined to 10-minute bursts of logistic discussion. And this was such a thing. She said, I want you to still go to the flea market because Sunday is my flea market day. And she said, and I love that you thought to make me French toast, but I promised the kids donuts. So I went to get donuts for everybody, brought some donuts back. Very nice. Everybody had a nice donut. And then I went to the flea market and I made a mistake that I've never made in my life, which is I went to the wrong flea market.

Which flea market do you normally go to? So there's a different flea market every weekend. There's different flea markets in different places every weekend because they're all monthly events. So first, first Sunday is Pasadena City College, of course. Second Sunday, which we were celebrating, is the Rose Bowl. But I drove all the way to Long Beach. So I drove to the furthest distance from my house in all of Los Angeles, which is Long Beach, got literally all the way to the parking lot before I realized that I had to drive

back all the way past my house across Los Angeles to go back to Pasadena, the other far corner of our county. And then after that, you know, we, my wife, I took care of the kids while she took the dogs for a walk. This is like the kind of meaty, romantic time

when you have three children. Yeah, that was, that was my great contribution to my wife's Mother's Day. She did text me and say, thank you for making me feel

like I am loved. Oh, that's very nice. What donuts did you get? Oh, I went to this man. Jordan just went right past that sweet thing. Yep. Man, there was this older couple that owned the donut store near my house. It's called Happy Donuts.

Oh, sure. Oh, wait. Where do you live? I live in Mount Washington. Yep. Sure. Okay. I call it Happy D's.

Yeah. So this older couple owned this. And it's in this terrifying strip mall, not because there's, like, dangerous people around. Just all the parking spots are too small. You know what I'm talking about? Yes, I certainly do. Like, they're, like, 90% of the size of a car. Yeah.

And so you're always over that line a little. That's my laundromat. My laundromat has that, has those terrifying spaces. Yeah, there's a laundromat in this strip mall it's a laundromat a donut place a dry cleaner and one of those stores that sells uh food stamp food like a wick store yeah sure so uh anyway i mean and oh and one of those like weird storefront car insurance places um so this older couple that own the donut store were so nice. And one day they were gone and the donut store was closed for like a month. And I was so sad because I don't like donuts more or less than the next person, probably about average.

I like donuts, but it's not my favorite. My wife loves donuts. So does mine. I would always go there. You guys got a couple of donut wives. Yeah, we sure do. Look at you two and your donut wives. And I would like... I don't know if she would like that name. Hey, if there are any

donut wives out there, I'm in the market. I feel like you would do great with a donut wife. I would be a great donut husband I would be a very loving donut husband I would allow myself to be dunked in coffee I don't know where I feel like I would get

more happiness than I had paid for from the donut store because a donut costs 75 cents I felt like they gave me a dollar 25 of kindness and geniality in the process of buying my 75 cent

donut and I got scared because this was my top place in the whole neighborhood for looking at a friendly face. New family bought it. Guess what? Just as fucking nice. There you go. These donut people, they're amazing. They're getting up at 3 o'clock in the morning. They're getting up at 3 o'clock in the morning. They're getting up at 3 o'clock in the morning to fry those nuts.

This is twistier than the hit Netflix series Dead to Me. No Linda Cardellini in this. No Linda Cardellini. No. She's good in everything. Good in everything. So fantastic. As is Christina Applegate.

It's a cast full of heavy hitters. It's a good old cast. Let's talk about Ed Asner. Let's get into it. Ed Asner is in your show. Yes, he is. Does his shooting schedule work around his theater crews? You know, we worked with him very closely on his schedule,

and we were able to shoot him out, as we call it, pretty quickly so that he could live the rest of his very thriving life. No, my cousin, my cousin Mary, was like, I just saw – she lives in Indiana. She's like, last week I saw Ed Asner was in a play here. Awesome. And I was like, no, that's not possible. It was probably Larry Bird or something. It was Ed Asner. Awesome. And I was like, no, that's not possible. It was probably Larry Bird or something. It was Ed Asner. Wow.

He's like, he tours the country doing theater. He is 89 years old. He just, he has to, Ed Asner has to work. He's got to work. And big poker player. Really? Oh. Loves to play poker.

So maybe he's just trying to eradicate gambling debts then. Maybe. Yeah. He's just got a lot to pay off. But he's, no, he's – I mean, what a dream. Yeah. I wrote this part of this elderly man into the show in a million years not thinking somebody like Ed Asner would play it. And when the casting directors mentioned his name, I literally was like – I gasped.

I was like, no, he's that – why would – and then, yes, he did it. And he's amazing. He's really funny. He's so warm and just like. It's a very sweet character. It's a very, yeah. Based in part off of my grandfather. Oh, nice.

Yeah. Yeah. We should mention Ed Asner is your grandfather. I should have mentioned. It was really beautiful that you guys had a reunion because he was a little story. Yes, yes. Ed Asner is only seven years older than my father. So it's going to be a funny little family.

Liz, how's your espresso sitting? We talked before the show. You opted for a pre-show espresso. I did. I did. I think it helped. I also took a little bit of E3 Live. Do you know what that is?

No. Or it's called AFA. Is that a streaming service? It sounds like it. It's actually blue-green algae. And it's real good for your brain parts. Is that one of the top algaes for your brain parts?

You know, I haven't checked the list of top algaes. But now that you mention it, yeah, no doubt. No doubt. Definitely, it's got to be in the top five. Definitely. I mean, it has to be.

It has to be. Is that a pill? Is that a droplet? Yes. I take it in pill form. You can take it in powder form. A lot of times you can get it in a smoothie if you live in a place like Los Angeles. Sure.

Where they'll put just basically anything in a smoothie. Jordan just got a bunch of crank in a smoothie. Exactly. I thought it was a mimosa. Yeah. I was unclear. Why were you smoking a smoothie to begin with? Listen, when you – yes, a lot of things don't add up.

I feel – yes. Looking back, I'm the asshole. Yeah. I am having an evening coffee. I don't usually, but I'm a asshole. Yeah. I am having an evening coffee. I don't usually, but I'm, you know, I'm a little pooped. It's the end of the weekend. Yeah, it's seven o'clock on a Sunday night. Yeah, I am.

I am like adjusting to like life in a new office. And like I'm kind of at that point where I like I'm really trying to integrate myself into the like social circle of the office uh good for you thank you um you know makes the I mean you get you know makes makes the job easier if your pals with everybody may I ask what the job is I'm sure your dear listeners know but oh yeah no that's okay it is worth it is a uh it is a uh unannounced animated DreamWorks project. How cool is that? Unannounced. Okay. So I can tell you off mic. But that's great.

No, it's really, really fun. But I like don't, I don't, you know, I didn't know anybody going into it. And like they, you know, just automatically on Monday is just two hours of Game of Thrones discussion before anything gets started. And like. And we already watching.

Yes. I watch it. But I wasn't, you know, I don't sit down on, you know, at six on Sunday to watch. I sometimes let them build up, you know, watch some on the weekend, maybe do two or three in a row. But I feel so obligated to watch it on Sunday night now just so I don't get because I want to be in the cool kids club. Yeah.

You want to be able to contribute to the con. Yeah. Yes, exactly. So yeah, so I'm just going to make sure I stay awake for after this, watch those Thrones. Yeah. So I can be a guy with office friends. I'll tell you what. I want them. I want those office

friends. I'll tell you what happens on Game of Thrones, Jordan. All kinds of shit every week. Yeah. Yeah. Dragons. Whoa. Yeah. I have not gotten there yet. I'm on episode two. I'll tell you what happens on Game of Thrones, Jordan. All kinds of shit every week. Yeah. Yeah. Dragons. Whoa. Yeah. I've not gotten there yet. I'm on episode two, I should say.

Sexual. Spoiler alert. Sexual situation. Ooh. I do not watch it. Yeah. I mean, you got it. Incest.

You seem to know. Yeah, sure. There's some family sex. Sometimes they'll be what you think isn't incest, and then they'll be like, you got a curveball coming, buddy. Sorry, innocent audience member. You've been cranking it to incest. Oh, you're also supposed to crank it while you watch. Oh, God.

Yeah. It's a whole deal. You don't have to. That's a lot of pressure. It sure is. They sort of politely request that. Don't tell me when to crank it, HBO. Yeah, I mean.

I'm going to have to change the channel. Yeah. I'm cranking it during Barry. I told you. I only crank it during Barry. Now, Barry I watch. Barry is a very funny show. Yes, very funny show.

Yeah. Well done. Yeah. I think the most I've laughed at TV recently has been an episode of Barry where Barry and one of his acting classmates are having this discussion backstage. It's kind of heated. And Henry Winkler runs in. He's like, oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was the can.

And his pants are already down. Anyway. That was really funny. It's about the fewer funny things. Maybe I have a bad sense of humor. Anyway. Hard to say. Well, you know what? See how many have a bad sense of humor. Anyway. Hard to say. Well, you know what?

See how many office friends you make. Yeah. Yeah. I should. Yeah. I'll check in with you in about a month. I'll let you know how many office friends I've acquired. And then we can figure out how, why I have, I don't have more.

Both of you are television writers. And when you're a television writer, you are working on projects that are by their nature somewhat transient. Now, obviously, dead to me, we're looking at a 10 or 12 year run. I'll take four. But I think generally speaking, the nature of show business is such you work on something for six months, you work on something for 18 months. So are all the offices the same like workplace culture or is there a big difference between the places? Different every time. Different every time. It starts at the top. So it's like whoever's in

charge, they're kind of creating the vibe. They're setting the ethos. And it's, you know, generally they hire people that either, you know, reflect their paradigm and energy level and all of that. Or, you know, in some cases they're looking to like diversify and make it like a really interesting, challenging group of people. But no two are the same. What's your thing? Like mostly Nerf guns? Boy, this guy gets me, huh? Yeah. Old Nerf gun Felden over here. I mean, he, I've never felt more seen.

I'm the boss at my job, which is a really interesting thing. And, you know, I've worked primarily for writers' rooms, as they often are, that are predominantly men, where I am talked over and where I'm interrupted or, you know, every woman is sort of dealt the same kind of unintentional, I think, often disregard. So I try to create an environment where everybody, specifically women, but everybody feels like they have something to say and they can be heard. And I try to be kind. So I start from that place of like I've worked for lots of people who are really smart and talented but maybe not the like nicest people in the world. Sure.

maybe not the like nicest people in the world sure and um so i really value kindness and uh you know supportive uh lovingness i had kind of like a work it was like basically a work situation like a group work situation where that was a big problem we solved it by Piggy found this conch shell. This is Lord of the Flies. Okay. Anyway, if I can suggest a team building activity, maybe kill a pig, slit her throat, spill her blood, put the head on a stick. How do you think we spent the first week of Dead

to Me? Out in the jungles. And probably smash Piggy's glasses is also another suggestion. All right. Good to know. Do any team building stuff? Are you doing Trust Falls?

You know, it's a pretty small room. It's about six full-time writers, two part-time writers. So, you know, I think team building is really great. And for some environments, I think't necessarily – I think team building is really great and for some environments I think super important. We go out to drinks. That's nice. Yeah, and I just – you know, we also spend some amount of the morning talking about whatever we were watching the night before, what's going on in our lives. And Dead to Me in particular is a show where every writer really brings a lot of their own personal kind of stuff. And so it often ends up feeling a bit like group therapy but like in a fun way.

Yeah. I mean it is like there's a lot of like grief in the show. Yes. The show is about grief and loss and forgiveness and friendship. And so everybody in that room has experienced some level of that. I mean we all have experienced some. If you're an adult on this planet, you've experienced some level of grief and loss. I've never experienced friendship.

Oh, well, that is very sad. New York City. I mean, you guys seem like this is a pretty aspirational friendship between these two. Colleagues. Yeah. Colleagues. Got it. Pleasant colleagues.

We don't discuss Game of Thrones or anything. Okay. Well, that's too deep. Does your room have a show? Well, you know, I, so we were writing, you know, we haven't been picked up for a second season yet, so we're not back in the room. But when we were writing the first season, I was really, I had just been really into Killing Eve.

Killing Eve rules. It's really, I mean, especially that first season, I just was like, what is this incredible thing? And also the first season of Barry. So I sort of asked everybody to watch those just because tonally we're in a range of that. You know, ours definitely has more, I guess, I don't know, bitter sweetness to it. But I was really inspired by those two shows just in their tone and their interesting, slightly genre-bending quality. So we definitely talked about those two shows and talked about – when you watch the show, it's a very heartfelt show.

So there's a lot of sharing in the room. This season of Killing Eve, a lot of zany outfits. Have you noticed how there's so many more zany outfits? I feel like they're having fun. They are having fun.

They're having a great time. Yeah, and I love the music. They're having a great time. Yeah. And I love the music. It's just an enjoyable watch. And that Jodie Comer. I mean, obviously, of course, Sandra Oh is fantastic. And she's been, you know, she won the Emmy. And maybe even the Golden Globe.

But Jodie Comer, my God. Yeah. With, like, Sandra Oh, it's like, well, it's like we're used to her being great. Right. But with her, it's like, who the fuck is this? Yes. Giving the world's greatest TV performance and is hilarious and does nine accents. Yes. She's so.

And also stabs people in the eye. Riveting. I'm not surprised. I don't watch the show, but I'm not surprised to hear about the zany outfits. I thought after the first showrunner left after that first season, I honestly thought Karl Lagerfeld was a pretty surprising choice to replace her. But I like, I like from the pictures I've seen, I like what they're doing. Yeah.

Pig mask was his idea. Yeah. We, I'm guessing, Brian, maybe you can nod or thumbs up or whatever. I bet our showdown from two weeks ago probably yielded a lot of shit. Let's take a break. Let's do it. We'll come back. We'll talk about this showdown because I weeks ago probably yielded a lot of shit. Let's take a break. Let's do it. We'll come back. We'll talk about this showdown because I'm very excited to get into it.

It'll be great. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Go. It's Jordan, Jesse. Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goe. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Liz Feldman, the woman in the booth. Hmm.

Bum, bum, bum. Jordan, we're going on tour. We are going on tour. The Summer Boys of Summer Tour. That's the one. Starting June 12th, we'll be coming to many of America's finest cities. Minneapolis, Chicago, Seattle, Portland, Brooklyn, Boston, Washington, D.C., Austin, Texas, and Los Angeles, California. We're not prepared to release the date on that one, right, Brian?

But that's happening. Yeah. It's happening. We're finalizing the date right now. Date to come. It's going to be so good. Get those tickets at MaximumFun.org slash Summer Boys of Summer. They are going fast.

And if you don't get them, you can't see the show. That's a really good point. A lot of people don't know that. If you don't get a ticket, you can't see the show. You know what they say. If you don't get a ticket, you can't see the show. You know what they say. If you don't get a ticket, you can't see the show. Can't see the show. Liz, for your information, we have been doing something on the show, a segment which we have not named.

Bad producing on our part, perhaps. But you know what? Fuck you, listener. Should we call it the JJ Go Showdown? Yes. Okay. Yes, we should. JJ Go Showdown.

That seems like a great name. Yeah, where we are polling listeners. What about the Coliseum? The JJ Go Coliseum? Yeah. Sure. Or just the Coliseum. What if we want to bring it to another show, like If You Fire Me? Oh, okay. Then it could be the Comedy Bang the Coliseum. What if we want to bring it to another show, like If You Fire Me?

Oh, okay. Then it could be the Comedy Bang Bang Coliseum. Yeah, we want to bring it over to Sklarbro Country. Yeah. We could probably work on that show. Coliseum. The Showdown. The Thunderdome.

The Circle of Judgment. The Circle of Judgment. What about Jordan Jesse Goh, colon, Brian spends his whole life counting emails? Yes, let's call it that. Okay. We are kind of guessing how many listeners do a certain thing or have experienced a certain thing. Okay. And Jesse will make a guess and I will make a guess and then Brian will kind of collect the data and then we'll come back and kind of see who could collect the most listeners.

It's a data economy, Liz. Cool, cool. You work for the Netflix Corporation. You know a little something about the data economy. We're learning details of our listeners' lives so we can put together a composite picture and we learn how do you motivate soccer moms in Minnesota? Sure. How do you get them to the polls? How do you decide what toothpaste what I call motorcycle grandpas buy?

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's the kind of information we're gathering about our listeners, and eventually our goal is to kind of control their minds and make them into like a freelance army, like an army of fortune, soldier of fortune thing. Sure. And just tens of thousands of Jordan Jesse Go listeners converge on one spot. We declared an independent nation.

Okay. The only food is spaghetti and meatballs. I should say a lot of this is new information to me. I have not heard about the declaring an independent nation. Unlimited spaghetti and meatballs. Of course, there's sauce. I'm just going to throw this out there. Please, yes.

Feels a little culty. Yeah. And especially with your beard. There's just a tiny bit of like a, you know. Right. Maybe this is all leading to a mass wedding. A little. Or suicide.

Sure, sure. Just something. There's a darkness. Yeah, see, right. We're going to move into the dorms at Sarah Lawrence. We're going to control some – no. We're not going to do that. Just the mass wedding.

Yeah, just the mass wedding. Just the mass wedding. It's going to be very chill though. It's kind of a low-key thing. Not in a church. Just like with friends. You're going to buy a newspaper. Yeah, right.

So last week we each – and just for you, I have not been able to win one of these things to save my life. Okay. And is it price is right rules? No. I mean, I think that might be a fun wrinkle to add at a certain point, see who can hit 50 or see who can hit 100 or can get the closest. But it's just pure volume at this point. Pure volume. Who can get the most.

Okay. I have not been doing well at this. Okay. I'm still not 100% sure what you are talking about okay oh no no please yeah yeah well uh we've done a bad job explaining it no no you have um i'm just not sure what the actual so so we'll to give it so last week's yeah jesse thinks that there are more listeners have. Can you describe your thing? Because it was... Have ridden... Well, initially, I went with have ridden in a motorcycle sidecar or on one of those three-wheel motorcycles.

So which one? Which is more? I thought that group of people who have done one of those two things would be more than Jordan's. Then Jordan said something. I'm going to be frank. I don't remember what it was.

It was, how many of our listeners own a replica weapon from a movie? And then I was like, and he also said that Harry Potter wands count. It's a weapon.

They have offensive capabilities. Wands have offensive... Okay, well, that changes. That changes. I felt like that was out of scale with mine. I'm like three-wheel motorcycles. He goes with replica weapons.

Of course our listeners all have replica weapons. I don't know. We've been surprised a lot in this. So I expanded mine a little bit to include tuk-tuks, which are a type of motorcycle taxi popular in Southeast Asia. Tuk-tuks. So if they've even ridden on one, not been the driver of it. Even ridden on it. Even ridden on a tuk-tuk.

I don't know how many of our listeners drive tuk-tuks. I know we have at least one listener who drives a pedicab. But I don't know if anybody drives a tuk-tuk. If anybody out there drives a tuk-tuk, you're fucking awesome. That's great. Where'd you get the tuk-tuk? Maybe they're in Bangkok. tuk you're fucking awesome that's great where'd you get the tuk-tuk maybe maybe they uh maybe they're in bangkok so and also our guest nick adams his guess was um how many people have had

a back and forth with a supernatural creature a back and forth so it can't just be seeing one you have to have interacted directly wow so so the guess here is who has the biggest number. Yes. Do you have any just thoughts off the top of your head? My thoughts are people who have interacted with a supernatural – I think though the number might be higher than we think, I don't think anybody would admit to it. Okay.

Or if they – you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. It feels like the kind of thing you keep to yourself. It has to be like a bing bang bong. Like, you have to go like, hey, supernatural creature. They say, what's going on, Frank? And then you say, ah, just chilling. Right.

It's a bing bang bong. That's a big bing bang bong. I think I would go with a tuk tuk. Yours, Jesse. Do you like tuk tuk? Have you ever been in a Tuk Tuk? I have not. I haven't been on any of the things that you mentioned.

None of the three. I haven't either. I have not either. But I also don't own a replica weapon. Not even a wand, huh? No. I know what somebody's getting for their birthday. Oh, my birthday is next week.

Oh, nice. My birthday was last week. Happy birthday. Yeah. A couple of Taurus is over here, I think. I'm a Gemini. I'm on the cusp. I'm cuspy. Cuspy. I'm a Taurus. Oh, yeah? Fun. Happy birthday to us.

Look at us. A couple of real bulls. Yeah, a couple of stubborn eaters. Yeah. I think that's what Taurus's do. They're stubborn and they eat. You're grounded. Yes. Yes. Sure. And family oriented. I mean, that's us to a T. I mean, look at you

and Brad. T-Aurus? No. No? Sorry. Okay. Yeah, so I have actually never done any of this either. I'm trying to think if I owned a replica weapon. Seems like something I would have. Seems like something you would. It does. It tracks.

I've definitely had like toy lightsabers and stuff but i think what we're trying to get across is it's something a little more professional something that was kind of made to like it's a not just something you would buy at target but here's the context liz the context for this is and the reason why i really blew my top when jordan's and oh i'm as cool as a cucumber obviously but in this why I really blew my top when Jordan – Oh. I'm as cool as a cucumber, ordinarily. Obviously. But in this situation, I really blew my top. My friend – my colleague, Jordan.

Thank you. Thank you. I really – I mean, steam coming out of my ears. People at the factory next door thought they were getting off work. Got it. Because I was so- Like a prospector who just learned his salsa's from New York City. Exactly.

Not, what's that? Where Pace Pocani Salsa's made? San Antonio. San Antonio. Well, people know what salsa should taste like. is made? San Antonio. Well, people know what salsa should taste like. So,

a few weeks ago, weeks ago, one of our questions was how many of our listeners own a Fez? Wow. Now, own a Fez seems like it would be a limited group, especially when I narrowed it down to just

non-costume fez. It has to be a real fez. Oh, like a... Like from Morocco or whatever. Got it. It's got to be a nice, real fez. Got it. It can't be like a costume store bullshit whatever fez.

Now, it turns out one of the Doctor Who's wore a fez a couple of times in an episode. And so just because of that, it was like 250 of our listeners have fezes. That's a Venn diagram right there. Sure. Yeah. I can see that. I'm not trying to put too fine a point on it, Liz, but you may have a profile. I'm starting to see that.

So then that makes me want to change my answer. But you've got these Harvey Porter sticks. Because I didn't know your demographic that, you know, I didn that. So then that makes me want to change my answer. Well, you've got these Harvey Porter sticks. Because I didn't know your demographic that, you know, I didn't. That's helpful information. It is. I might go for replica weapon. And by the way, I should mention, I have had a back and forth with the supernatural. Really?

Yes. Do you care to talk about it? It was a very weird thing. Uh-huh. Where, you know. Was it just a run of the mill? Just a run of the mill. Ghost interaction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a very weird thing. Uh-huh. Where, you know. Was it just a run of the mill? Just a run of the mill. Ghost interaction.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was not scary or anything like that. Yeah, a mummy stole your parking space. We, there was a light flickering situation at my old house. Uh-huh. And the light flickered and it was sort of random. And then we were a little bit like, that was weird. Did you see that yeah i saw that

and we're like turn the light off turn the light off and the light went off wow wow that's a classic bing bang boom i mean that's as bing bang boomy as you're gonna get uh have you did you look into like the history of the house did you it was, you know, it was essentially an apartment. It was one unit and a triplex. Yeah. And I mean, old, definitely from like

the 20s or 30s. But I don't know, man. Yeah. All I know is that happened. Ghosts love a triplex. Yeah. And they love a bang, bang, boom.

They love a bang, bang, boom. Because you can use the other, you can live in one unit and use the other ones for income. That's why they like that. That's why they like it. That's why they like it.

So, Brian, do we have any – do you want to present us with any information? Do we have calls? Our producer, Brian Sonny DeFernandez, has spent the last two weeks counting emails. He has a job, by the way, besides producing this show, the poor man. show the poor man um yeah so uh i think it's actually it'd be interesting to give you guys the numbers uh both with the extra add-ons the harry potter wand and the tuk-tuks and without them because they're two different uh they're two different answers oh wow that does not surprise me oh yeah so yeah let's um let's start with without Yeah. Okay, let's do without. So if we're not counting the Tuk Tuks and the Harry Potter wands, there were 40 replica weapons and 33 three-wheeled motorcycles. Wow.

That is way closer than I thought it was going to be. That's also a lot lower than I expected it to be. It's also a lot lower than I expected it to be. I thought the second you said replica weapons, I think, I was like, there's a hundred people who are just in stormtrooper clubs. Right. Where they have laser swords. No, we said- Our highest-

Yeah, we said no blasters. Oh, no blasters? Yeah, it had to be like bladed weapons or like something you hold. So it couldn't be guns. Even though blasters have offensive capabilities. Right. But it had to be a, yeah, it had to be a bladed weapon. You know, if we take blasters out of it.

Without a blade on a stick. There's probably three or four blasters in that number. So we might be down to like 37 to 33. Okay, well, I mean, I think the blasters don't affect it that much. No, no, no. Do you have any data on the separation between sidecars and three-wheel motorcycles? Sidecars by far were the big number. 23 sidecars. three-wheel motorcycles? Sidecars by far were the big number. 23 sidecars.

Okay. Wow. Yeah. I would let – I am not a motorcycle guy, and I understand intellectually that I think sidecars make motorcycles more dangerous. But I love the idea of driving around on a motorcycle with, like, my little army friend in the sidecar. Who's your little army friend? Yeah, who is that now? Well, he's more of a colleague.

But who are you talking about? His name's Bailey. Beetle Bailey. Okay, sure. There he is. And what about the supernatural encounters? Bing, bang, boom. Bing, bang, boom.

Tell us about those bing, bang, booms. So supernatural encounters were tricky because they're clear bing, bang, booms. Hold on. I'm changing the name, by the way. Bing, bang, boo. Oh, that's good. Bing, bang, boo. Very nice.

So the amount of bing, bang, boos that there were, clear ones were probably eight or nine. Okay. Oh, wow. Single digits. Okay. clear ones were probably eight or nine okay oh wow single digits okay but there were four different paralysis monster people um which i'm sorry i've actually had that it's the if you have sleep paralysis oh where you you know you can't move briefly uh oftentimes something that accompanies that is thinking you see a tall shadow man shape. Sure.

And I've had that. It's really scary. Wow, that's scary. But I don't think it's a – to me personally, I don't think it's a supernatural thing. I think it's a – It's not a bing-bang-boo. It's not a bing-bang-boo. It's really not.

To you. To me. To you. To others. Maybe you have a relationship with a shadow creature. Perhaps you're in a relationship. You were engaged to a shadow creature and they uh they died playing chicken uh at the point right sure it happens um they're reckless there

weren't as many uh obviously spirit encounters here but they were the best stories like they all obviously had the best story so um maybe we could circle back to that if you want. Or do you want to do the big numbers? Let's hear a story. Let's hear a call. Let's hear a story. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, go listeners. It's Jesse. I'm just breaking in for a second from a voice memo on my phone that I'm recording at home the night this episode came out. This caller gave us their pronouns, which were they, them pronouns at the end of the call.

And somehow all of us who were sitting there totally missed them and we totally misgendered them and we feel like real turds. But we talked to them about it, apologized and everything. And they asked that we leave the call in because they thought it was fun to be on Jordan and Jessie Go. So we're honoring their wishes, leaving it in, but obviously know that it's going to happen,

especially if it's something that is a sensitive issue for you. And we apologize. We are a bunch of dumbbells. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jessie. Hey, guys. dumbbells. Hey Jordan, hey Jesse, hey guys. This is a poll response from your last episode with Nick Repeat Adams. You guys wanted to know

if we had been on a tuk-tuk, if we had a non-bladed weapon, if that was a replica from a movie, or if we had had a supernatural experience. Turns out, I have all three. I have a Harry Potter wand that's a replica from Universal Studios.

Ride the movies. I have ridden the tuk-tuk when I've lived in Beijing. And I've had several encounters with a haunted Japanese doll that would respond to your actions. OMG. Okay, so then, thank God, she called back to clarify about the haunted Japanese doll. I mean, I would hope so. You should, yes. Good for her.

Hi, Jordan. Hi, Jesse. Hi, Jess, again. I thought that it would lend some clarity to my previous call. Good instinct. I had called saying that I had done all three of your most recent poll answers, meaning I have Harry Potter wand, I've ridden the tuk-tuk in Beijing. I also have had encounters with a Japanese doll.

I thought that you might want some more details about that Japanese doll. So my mom's friend lived with us for a while and she had this haunted doll that when it was displeased, it would disturb things in the room. Primarily, if you're in the room with it and it was in its closet, it would close the closet door. So that closet door would just close if it didn't like what you were doing in the room, if you were being too loud, whatever. And if it really was upset with you, occasionally when your back was turned, you would just feel something hit you in the back and you would turn around and you would see a little doll shoe. This doll lived in a glass case and had like silk doll shoes on so there's really no way that that could have

hit you unless this doll was indeed haunted. I guess you could say that the closet door you know could have been a fluke but know, a doll shoe hitting you in the back randomly is kind of lens credence to the whole haunted thing. I don't really believe in ghosts, even though they terrify me, and that's really the one reason that I think that this is true is because I've been hit with a haunted doll shoot before. So, yeah. Thank you so much.

By the way, my name's Lauren. I live in Missouri. And I use they, them pronouns. Thank you so much for the show. Bye-bye. Okay. Feldman, go. Okay.

Here's what's crazy. Yes. When I was growing up my like childhood best friend her mother collected japanese dolls so i know exactly what she's talking about wow it is a like this beautiful porcelain you know not the kind of doll you play with like it's like a you know it's for show a display doll and they are creepy and also that house was creepy yeah and i don't so i don't know if there's a connection there did you ever get hit with a shoe did not get so is she saying that she would get hit with a doll shoe yeah that came from outside of somehow got outside of the case and then hit her in the

back i think so that's what she's saying i mean that's really that's pretty creepy it's really creepy pretty similar to this happened to me when I was a kid. One year for my birthday, I got this group of very unusual birthday gifts. I got my brother. I lived in England at the time. My brother gave me- Is this Lord of the Flies again? My brother gave me- What movie is this?

Yeah, I'm trying to guess. My brother gave me a cupboard. Indian in the cupboard? Yeah. Okay. Yay, I got it. Yeah Indian in the cupboard? Yeah. Okay. Yay, I got it. Yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, we got information. The Indian came to life in it. Yeah. Those were great. Yeah. I heard this as a kid. I wanted more information.

I want so much more information. Not just about the doll, but about the wand. What's the core? Is it a unicorn tail? What house are you in are you a ravenclaw we need this information flarpendorf you know okay you flarpendorf is not one of the houses krippendorf's tribe yes it's krippendorf's tribe uh wow okay so great story very creepy wow uh brian do you want to present us with the numbers if you do include Harry Potter wands

and Tuk Tuks? Yeah, yeah. I can give you a couple of fun little wand things. I would love to hear a fun little wand. So someone says that they have a replica Hermione wand that they keep on their nightstand. It has a button that lights up the tip and she uses it as a flashlight to go to the bathroom. Me too. I really thought you were going somewhere.

I have a wand in my nightstand. Tip lights up oh boy uh one listener makes their own custom wands that you can buy on etsy okay they're very nice fucking assembly line wands yeah you want homemade wands made with care and magic um and then uh the one person said uh they have a bunch of wands and one time uh they went to the park and realized they forgot theirs at the hotel. They didn't want to walk all the way back, so they bought another one right at the park. She said, I'm the younger sister, but God help me. I'm not living without a wand at Harry Potter World. That's a lot of throwaway wand money.

Yeah. Wow. They're not cheap, right? Those are big shots listening to this show. What's she going to do? Turn around and march back to her hotel room? No. Not likely.

She's big balling like the rock on the hit show Ballers. That's exactly what she's like. All right, Brian. So here are the numbers. Well, actually, so I already got a new question I want to know about. Okay. The Tuk Tuks really ran away with it, honestly. Wow.

It was the international travel that put it over the top. Yeah. There were 70 Tuk Tuks. Wow. And 28 Harry Potter wands. Wow. And that's 28 people who have Harry Potter wands. A lot of the Harry Potter people have multiple wands.

Well, then I win this one. So if we were counting those, it might be a little higher, but the total is 103 in terms of three-wheeled motorcycles and tuk-tuks to 68 for replica weapons. Wow, not even close. Yeah, bloodbath. I got to tell you this. There was a time when I doubted myself this week.

Not unlike probably the Golden State Warriors after they lost a game four and it was locked up with the Rockets. I'm sure they doubted themselves. And, you know, certainly they doubted themselves after Kevin Durant hurt his calf. I don't have to explain this to you guys. No. And I thought to myself, you know, maybe I should have included those crazy Philippine buses.

I know somebody made a documentary about them. They're wild. They're amazing. All kinds of customizations and stuff like that. I thought maybe those crazy color, colorful, beautiful buses of Mexico or India to other places with famous crazy buses. But then I said to myself, Jesse, why are you questioning yourself?

This is what you're good at. Sure. This is your gift. You know, God gave you a voice. Sing out. It's beautiful. Thank you very much. I'm a sort of an

inspirational figure. Yeah, I can. For me, you are right in this moment. Sort of like Brene Brown. Sort of. For dipshits. I mean I think what is winning these, the factor that I think we're seeing is influencing these is it's all – it's travel-based. It's vacation-based.

Like I think elephants was huge because people have been on elephants when they travel. I think your audience is well-traveled. Yeah, I guess so. because people have been on elephants when they travel. I think your audience is well-traveled. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, and I am leaning on kind of like pop nerd stuff, which is doing well, but I mean, I think it seems like... You've got to leave the country.

You've got to leave the country. Yeah. I've got something here. Okay. And I don't think this is going to be a huge one. It's just one where I want to know the answer. So I think a lot of our listeners probably do karate. Yeah.

Or have done karate. Yeah. Like Jordan, you did karate, right? Yeah, I did karate lessons as a kid. Me too, buddy. Sure. I got like four or six lessons. Hi-ya.

Exactly. Put your fist upside down and then put it right got like four or six lessons. Hi-ya! Exactly. Put your fist upside down and then put it right side up when you're punching. Ha! Yeah, you got it. You didn't need any more lessons. How many Jordan Jesse Go listeners have done karate in real

life? Oh, wow. Outside the studio. Outside the karate contest or the karate practice room or dojo. I call it a studio. Sorry. Clearly I have not done karate. Well, for example, one place you could do it, Pilates studio. Right.

That would count. That would count. That counts as real life. Okay. A recording studio certainly counts as real life. Ha! But when you're practicing karate in it, it's a dojo. Yeah.

Any place can be a dojo. Even the human heart. Wow. Go ahead. Wow, I guess there's a new Brene Brown for dipshits. It's me. I don't think I know who that is. Oh, look her up.

Okay. What an inspirational figure. She's friends with our friend Liz Gilbert. Oh. That's all you need to know. Oh, yeah. She's friends with our friend Liz Gilbert. That's all you need to know. Golden with us. Okay. So I'm also going to say I'm interested to know if you practice a non-karate martial art and you've done that in real life.

I'm interested in that too. But I want you to clarify what martial art you've done. Now, would Tai Chi count? Because you can do – people do that everywhere. The push answer. And anywhere. I'm just talking about. I know, I'm not talking

just about a venue. I'm talking about a practical use. Oh, you're saying, okay. Have you karate'd someone? Yeah, have you ever karate'd someone? Or jeet kune do'd someone or whatever. The only thing I'm going to say is it's got to be an actual martial art.

So if you just took self-defense class where you learned to kick people in the shins, then the balls, then the head, that's awesome. I'm all for everyone empowering themselves to defend themselves, especially people who live under the possible threat of violence. That's great. You know, defend yourself, be proud, be strong. That's my purse. I don't know you.

However, I'm specifically interested in martial arts training. Gotcha. Use in a practical context. Okay. And I think mine will be, have you ever interacted with someone who is on Buffy the Vampire Slayer or its spinoff Angel? All right. That's pretty good. I'm doubling down.

What about the Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic books? What if we met like the artist- No, like Brian K. Vaughn? Yeah. What if you met- I've met BKV. So? The nice man.

Okay, yeah. Someone who has worked on something in the Buffy universe. Okay. So let's do- Even the Angel and Faith comics. If you've met- So your first level- Yeah.

This is a two-level situation. Your first level is the television programs. Yeah. And we're just talking about primary cast and writers or also crew and- Yeah, if you- Guest stars. A grip. Someone who was a grip on Buffy.

Sure. You met the best boy. Yeah. Okay. And then the second level is extended universe. David Boreanaz's personal assistant. Yeah. Okay. And then the second level is extended universe. David Boreanaz's personal assistant? Yeah. He's probably had more than one over the years.

I bet he has. He is not loyal. Now, can I jump in and give one? Would you please? That would be really great if you could. We would love that. Thank you. I want to know how many people have eaten something in their fridge

that had something on it that had already turned but they took that piece of it off and ate it anyway that's everybody I don't know we'll see you're not cleaning off your cheese sometimes

you got a hard cheese it gets a little mold on the outside you cut the right off by the strength of that question fuck guilt honestly i'm gonna be frank liz liz i i consider you a colleague but i think that's a compliment right now i am blowing my top good she. She came to play, Jesse. I came to play. I'm throwing down.

Yeah. I'm literally saying there is something that has clearly turned on your food and you cut that piece off and eat it anyway. That is not everyone. But does that include cheese? Yes. Yeah. Why would it not include cheese? Because cheese is fundamentally moldy. No, it is not fundamentally moldy. It easily turns moldy. That's a food. Why would it not include cheese? Because cheese is fundamentally moldy.

No, it is not fundamentally moldy. It easily turns moldy. That's different. Okay. What about stink cheeses that are moldy? No. So I will, okay. I will disavow any pre-molded foods.

Okay. Like a blue cheese or any kind of stinky cheese. Or just magic mushrooms. No, they don't count. Yeah. That's a whole other question. Okay. Listeners, you have your marching orders.

Who's going to call me next week when I win? I think we will. We'll have the trophy engraved and sent over to your house. I think this cheese thing blows the top off the whole situation. Oh, wow. You know, we have been, I think if there's one constant in the Jordan-Jesse-Go Coliseum, which is what we're calling it now. Yeah. Sorry, I think it's the Sklarbo Country. The Sklarbo Country Coliseum.

Dumb People Town Coliseum. Is that you can't predict it. You can't predict it. It's wild. You would have thought there'd be more people out there with Harry Potter. Absolutely. I thought, I thought,

I thought this was my week. I was finally going to get one of these. Yeah. Honestly, I thought you were too. It didn't happen for me. If I had to, if I had to put money on the thing,

I'd bet the money on my colleague, Jordan Morris. Yeah. I mean, I'm the, I'm, I'm, I'm the lovable loser of this game.

I'm the Cubs or whatever. Yeah, you're the Brene Brown of dipshits. Sure. But yeah, we'll see. And yeah, Liz, I'll make sure to have the prize money sent over. There's $10,000. Oh my God. Yeah, it's the same as America's Funniest Home Videos.

Oh my God, I didn't even realize that. We're going to find out that not only does everybody cut a little bit of mold off their cheese, but one time in like 1979, Doctor Who cut some mold off of a chicken salad sandwich. Right, and so people do it as a tribute. I'm going to be totally honest with you. I've never seen Doctor Who. I don't know any Doctor Who references. So if that happens, that is pure circumstance.

Pure intuition. Intuition, I think. Or intuition. Thank you. Can I tell you something, Liz? Yeah. Don't pure circumstance. Pure intuition. Intuition, I think. Or intuition. Thank you. Can I tell you something, Liz? Yeah. Don't doubt yourself. Thank you.

Girl, God gave you a voice. That's right. Sing out. You know what? I will. It'll be atonal, but I will sing out. Yeah. That's all you can do.

God, it's gorgeous. God, I love the sound of the voice. Mm-hmm. Just sing it to the heavens. Yeah. God bless us all. We'll be right back on Jordan, Jessica. Hi, I'm Janet Varney.

And like many of you, brand new sentient robots excluded, I used to be a teenager. In fact, just about all of my friends were, too, including folks like comedian Danielle Radford. And of course, all of us, you take on that theater accent, and our teacher would say, no, that isn't how people talk. Right. Don't do the super theater kid accent. It's the worst. But so when I was doing theater in high school of course i immediately was talking about being in the theater so join me every week on the jv club podcast where i speak with my favorite women artists innovators and humans as we reminisce

about the past and how it led us to becoming who we are find it every th on Maximum Fun. We recently met each other because women weren't allowed to work together on the road or in gigs for a long, long time. And so our friendship has been unfolding on this podcast for a couple of years. Jackie constantly works the road. I write for Conan and then I work the road in between. We do a lot of stand-up comedy. And so we celebrate stand-up. Yes. And we also bitch about it.

We keep it to an hour. We don't have any guests. We somehow find enough to talk about every single week. So find us. You can subscribe to the Jackie and Laurie show at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, bye. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, I have an update. Yeah. So two of our listeners, two tuppies as we call them. Pardon? Tuppies. Tuppies?

It's a cute word that George made up for Tupperwares. Aw. Shortens it. Yeah. No, I get that. Gives it a sense of irreverence as well. There's two tuppies competing right now in the syndicated television smash hit, Competing right now in the syndicated television smash hit, Jopardy, which is being dominated by some guy.

Yeah. But they're taking a break from his Jeopardy dominance for the Jeopardy Teachers Tournament. These two listeners are competing in the Jeopardy Teachers Tournament. What are they called, Brian? Matthew and Joe. Matthew and Joe both won their first round matches. So they're coming back for the next round. And you know what?

I think they're going to wipe the floor with the competition. That's my opinion. Yeah, and if you're watching, cheer them on with the hashtag JJGoPerD. JJ, how would you spell that? Don't know. Take a swing at it. I'm not the boss of you. Who the fuck cares?

It's Mother's Day, baby. You're doing it big. I don't know. We don't know if they're competing against each other in the next. They have not competed against each other yet, but maybe they are in the next round. I should hope so. It's impossible to know. That says something very complimentary about your listening base. They're a bunch of smarties.

Bunch of brainiacs. Yeah, real smart folk. Poindexters. A lot of four eyes. I was going the positive route. We're just teasing them at this point. We're bullying them via podcast. Come on, Liz.

If we didn't alienate listeners, we'd be a success. Liz. Jordan. I would love to, before we go, push listeners once again to watch your terrific television program, Dead to Me, on Netflix. Thank you so much. I'm really enjoying it. I think our listeners will enjoy it.

Thank you. And couldn't be more excited that somebody who I used to get coffee for when I was a PA has created a TV show. Thank you so much. You were excellent at getting coffee. And look, now I'm a guest on your show. Yeah.

Lots of stuff can happen. Of course. In 15 years. 12 years, I think, maybe. 13 years. But yes, please watch the show. It's a show about grief, loss, forgiveness, friendship. And it's funny. It is also funny. Yeah.

It's all that stuff and more. Christina Applegate, Linda Cardellini giving some of the greatest performances, I think, on TV right now. They're terrific. They're just so really just riveting, I think. I have a Christina Applegate adjacent question. Okay. Christina Applegate is for the past, what now, 25 years? She's been in the business for 46 years because she's 47 and she started at three months.

Okay. Yeah. So good in everything, I think we can agree. Agree. Always does a great job. Absolutely. Katie Segal. Yep. Good in everything. Always does a great job. Absolutely. Katie Segal. Yep.

Good in everything. Always does a great job. And she can sing. So can Christina Applegate. Whoa. She was Tony nominated for her role in Sweet Charity on Broadway. I did not know that. Yeah.

And can dance. Very fun fact. Ed, what's his name? Asner. No, what's his dad from? Ed O'Neill. Ed O'Neill. Are we just listing cast members of Married with Children?

Hold on. No, I'm getting somewhere. Okay. Ed O'Neal. Mm-hmm. Fucking great in everything. Absolutely. He's on one of the most popular television shows on television.

He's great in it. He's got the best scene in Wayne's World. Mm-hmm. And he's probably good in a lot of other things that I'm not thinking of at the moment. Dutch. Great in everything. Great in Dutch. Dutch.

Of course, he's great in Dutch. Maybe. Doesn't hold up. I don't know. Everything David Faustino's just like, what did I do? I think Faustino's probably fine.

You think Faustino's doing okay? Whatever he's doing, I'm sure it's great. I feel like I heard David Faustino talking about being a leading light in the early to mid-90s L.A. underground hip-hop scene.

So there you go. He's got that going. Yeah, he's friends with Freestyle Fellowship or whatever. Faustino. He's fine. Faustino's not sweating it. What about those neighbors? This Christina Applegate question really veered.

Marcy Darcy became a really famous TV director. Yeah, she's a director. Amanda Bierce. What about that handsome guy? Her husband Jefferson Darcy? Yeah. Don't know. Yeah, she's a director. Yeah. Amanda Bierce. What about that handsome guy? Her husband, Jefferson Darcy? Yeah. Don't know. Okay, well,

there's no way to... He's the failure. Fuck you, Jefferson. I would also offer that just because David Festino is not a well-known actor of this moment

doesn't mean he's not successful in whatever he's doing outside of the biz, as they say. He could be happy. Maybe he's happier in some ways than the rest of them. Sure.

He's probably an orthodontist. Well, then he's really happy because those guys make bank. Oh, yeah. That guy is cha-ching. That's the sound he hears every day. That is his sound. Also, ow. Right.

Get your hand out of my mouth. Faustino. I think he's got permission to put his hand in the mouth. Yeah, that's true. I don't think he's a wildcat. A surprise orthodontist. You should have mentioned he's not a licensed orthodontist. Right. Yeah, he's a permission to put his hand in the mouth. Yeah, that's true. I don't think he's a wild cat. A surprise orthodontist. He's not a licensed orthodontist. Right, yeah.

He's a hobbyist. Merely a hobbyist. He's a licensed tuk-tuk driver, which extends to orthodonture in some countries. In some countries. Okay. Oklahoma also.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Fun state. Yeah, it is. I'm sweeping down the plane. Oh, nice. Yeah. Fun state. Yeah, it is. I'm sweeping down the plane. You got it. Maximumfun.org. How high is that corn, Jordan?

Summer, boys of summer is where you go for tickets to our tour. Dead to Me is Liz Feldman's Netflix program. You can find it in your Netflix app. Streaming now. Stream it. Stream it right into you. You know what? Can I tell you something, Jordan? No. You can tell it in your Netflix app. Streaming now. Stream it. Stream it right into you. You know what? Can I tell you something, Jordan?

No. You can tell it to me. Tell Liz. Liz, you know, you can stream that thing right into your television if that's how you prefer to watch it. That is how I prefer to watch it. Thank you so much. Many do. And, you know, what's great about that is that frees up your phone to have a second screen experience.

That's exactly right. Many of our viewers are tweeting along with it, having conversations with themselves, and it is incredibly entertaining. So please feel free to watch and tweet. And the hashtag on that is dead to me per D. It can be. I don't think that it is currently. It's just hashtag dead to me uh-huh but um you know you do you do you and everybody does them have we addressed the fact that jd at jd power has been replying to our tweets no at jd power has been sending gifs or gifs in response to our tweets i'm pretty ambivalent about it for two reasons. Number one, I'm not sure about sassy corporate tweeting.

Number two, I don't even think it's the real J.D. Power. Does it have like a checky mark? At best, Liz. It's one of his associates. At best. Yeah. At best. We care

about quality, though. So if you have thoughts or corrections about the program, please do tweet them at JDPower. They'll get that sorted out for you. Maybe with that gif of Carrie Elwes just raising one eyebrow. That's a fun one. Love that. Good gif. Great movie. Very popular one.

What movie is that from? Is that from The Princess Bride? That's the only movie I know. Has he been in other films? Robin Hood, Man in Tights, maybe. Saw, first Saw movie. Sure, sure, sure. He's always going to be a Princess Bride guy to me.

We'll talk to you next time. I am the twat pirate. Okay. All right. One quick Princess Bride quote off and then the show's over. Which is a quick quote off. Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Okay.

We'll be back next week on Jordan Jessup. Thanks so much for having me, guys. Yeah, you were great. Thanks. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.