Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 608: Toot Talk with Stuart Wellington

Episode Date: October 29, 2019

Stuart Wellington (The Flophouse) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jesse's rigorous pre-show prep, Jordan's visit to one of the country's first weed restaurants, and the tragedy that killed Stuart's buzz the last time he was in Vegas which involved a surprise appearance by Bob Saget. Plus, listeners call in with their family substitutions for swear words.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse, go! I'm Jesse, naps and cola thorn. Jordan Morris, boy detective. That's the formula for personal power, Jordan. Still saying cola, huh? Yeah.

I don't, you know how I feel about someone saying cola as opposed to a... Even soda's good. Cola. It just makes me... Soda's too vague. It's my moist. If I said soda, I might as well be talking about a sparkling water, mineral water, a pina fowl.

I might as well be talking about one of those little tiny... Is cola going to be important to the story? I might as well be talking about one of those little tiny liquor store. First of all, you presume there's a story. One of those little tiny liquor store club sodas. Yeah, exactly. Those labels are fun to peel off. As a man who loves to peel off a label. Can I tell you something?

I've got bad news for you, buddy. What? So I think we can stipulate, even before we bring our guest in on this, that there's no better label than the label on one of those little bottles of club soda. It's kind of plasticky, but also kind of styrofoamy. And it comes off real nice. And there's that nice sort of smooth, almost like a woman's hips shape underneath. Oof.

Oh, don't touch me. Don't touch me. Oh. Oh, it's so sensitive. I think we can agree on that. Love that. That is the best thing about a club soda. I have a lot of, as the child of a recovering alcoholic, I have a lot of fond childhood memories that are club soda based.

The one luxury product in our home that we always had was club soda. And my dad called it Clubber Dubber. And he drank it because I now realize he was in recovery. But I've got bad news about that. I went by the liquor store near my house. Not like a fancy liquor store, like a corner store type liquor store. To pick up your copy of Jugs? Yeah.

They have it behind the counter for you. They have my hold list. Yeah. Pull list? Pull list, yeah. Pull list. They've got my pull list. I knew what you were talking about.

Thank you. And I was looking at the options for- So it's Juggs, Perfect 10, and Green Lantern Core. Yeah, exactly. The man knows what he likes to crank it to. Yep. Nothing yellow? Is that the thing that is bad for Green Lanterns?

Uh, no, that's, uh, who's, yeah, who's, uh, who's weakness is yellow? Let's bring our guest in now that we have a comic book, a question about comic book weaknesses. Yeah, I mean, I think that is, uh, oh, I guess I should introduce myself. I'm, uh, Stuart Wellington, handsome drifter. A more apt nickname has rarely been offered on Jordan Jesse Goes. Stuart, of course, one of the co-hosts of the Flophouse podcast here on Maximum Fun. As we record this, they had a smash hit show at the Regent Theater in downtown Los Angeles last night. Oh, thank you.

Of which I'm not afraid to say, sorry, Dan, if you're still listening to Jordan and Jesse go, Stu was the star. Oh, man. I hope he is listening and he's like, I'm having a down day. Maybe I'll put on my best friends, Jordan and Jesse. That'll help get me through this difficult. Stu work, Stu work, Stu work. Dan also did a great job. I think I believe before we went in, I mentioned how Dan really lights up when he gets on stage.

It's fun to watch. So, Stu. He turns it on. What? Here are two questions. What color are Green Lanterns vulnerable to and who's vulnerable to yellow things? I mean, I thought they were both Green Lantern. I thought like yellow.

Isn't that Sinestro? Yeah. Well, there's the other color lanterns. Boy, yeah. This is the DC. Well, this is there's a lot of DC junk that I don't know about. But Green Lantern junk is one of the main DC. I know about Guy Gardner, the Red Lantern.

I keep meaning to go back and check out Green Lantern. But then I found out one of the guys who did art, like one of the premier artists for that run is like a super weird right wing guy. So I'm like, maybe I'll maybe I'll dip my toes into other superhero stuff. Sure. Hey, Stuart, a little tip. Don't look into any other comics creators. It's always a crapshoot. Stay where you're safe in the world of brutal metal.

Luckily, I can just turn to Cerebus by my old pal Dave Sim, who's never done anything crazy. Did that guy do something crazy? Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm sorry I brought him up. That's okay. Hey, I won't look him up, and neither should you, audience. Thanks.

So I went to the liquor store. Yes. Okay. We call it the L. Stuart, how do you feel about the word – and listen, don't play favorites here. Okay. Should I close my eyes if I don't know who's talking to me? React honestly.

Yeah. Yeah, because our voices are impossible to tell apart. Classic podcast. Classic podcast. Everybody sounds the same. How do you feel about when someone is talking about a soda or a Coke that they've drank saying cola? Am I making too big of a deal out of that? Cola sounds like you're trying to throw somebody off the track of where you grew up.

Like I would always say – I would always – what would I – I'd call it a pop because I'm from Indiana. Yeah. And people would make fun of me call it a pop because I'm from Indiana. Yeah. And people would make fun of me mercilessly when I went to college, all those East Coast kids who called it soda I think or whatever. And then there's the weird batch of people in Kentucky who called it everything a Coke. Yeah. That's my relatives in the south. Everything is a Coke. Coke.

Can I get a Coke? OK. What kind of Coke do you want a little britishness in there a coke governor uh yeah it's like and then what kind of coke do you want and it'll be like oh a vanilla dr pepper because those exist here uh-huh yeah wow sounds a wonderful place sounds like a nice drink yeah it's a great drink i like all those variant dr peppers yeah me too variant dr peppers are really good okay sorry. Pepper is already all the sodas mixed together. That's the flavor it's meant to create.

Sure, yeah. The suicide. I thought it was like a blackberry or something. No, it is. Prune is the base, right? No, this is a myth. First of all, Jordan, don't you dare spread these vile rumors about Dr. Pepper. I like a prune.

Yeah, it's my favorite flavor of hamantaschen. It is meant to taste the way that an old-timey soda shop smelled. So that's why it's a little bit medicinal. But also it tastes like different fruit flavors combined together with a little bit of root beer flavor. And it's a segregated too, right? Yes, exactly. flavor. And it's a segregated too, right? Yes, exactly. It's supposed to

taste like a segregated lunch counter at Woolworth's in the mid-1950s. Oh, great. So, yeah, I like to drink most things that taste at least a little bit medicinal. Right. You know, your Amaros and Jägermeisters

and that sort of thing. You know what I'm talking about, right, buddy? Yeah. Can I finish this anecdote that does not constitute a story, and I'm worried the further we get from it, the more it will disappoint? Sure. Okay, so you're in a liquor store. We're talking about how fun those labels are to peel off.

And I'm looking for one of my favorite bubble waters. I don't always buy a soda. Don't want to. Sure. Or a pop for your sake. Thank you. Or Coke for yours. Coke.

Coke. Coke. Is it possible that guy in the bathroom a couple weeks ago, Jordan, was just offering you a vanilla Dr. Pepper? Oh, yeah. Hey, bud, would you like a Coke? Coke. That's how you sound, right? What I did?

Yeah, that is how I sound like. Yeah, it could be. I mean, sometimes if you want to get that sweet flavor in you faster, right up the nose. Yeah. Or if you're Stevie Nicks, right up your butt. Oh. Did she drink with her butt? Well, that was the whole story, right?

Is that she blew out her sinuses so she couldn't drink her Cokes up her nose. Oh. So she had to have roadies blowed up her butt? Well, that was the whole story, right? Is that she blew out her sinuses so she couldn't drink her Cokes up her nose. Oh. So she had to have roadies blow it up her butt. I hadn't heard that. Yeah, that's like a classic rock and roll story. What a great rock fact. She couldn't just finger it up her butt?

No, she'd have her... No, you have a roadie do it. Okay. That's what they're... Yeah. What are we paying these guys for? Maybe a guitar tech. To coil cables?

Yeah. I mean, if I was a roadie and that was on the table, of course I'd do it. What a story. The show must go on. That's like the highest level of roadiedom. When you get there. So I went in this store,

I was looking for a bubble drink, and they were out of my favorites. I don't know what your favorites are, Jordan. I know you'll drink a LaCroix from time to time. Well, these days I'm a- I forgot to ask. This is an all-ages show, right? Yeah.

Yes. Yeah, we recorded at Gilman Street. So no alcohol and no racism. Yeah. Green Day can't play here. Green Day wants to come on the show. We won't let them because they're sellouts. Yeah, a couple of them are American idiots, right?

Yeah. A bunch of American idiots over there. I like a Mexican mineral water. I like a- Oh, a Topo. Sure, a Topo Chico. Topo Chico is a very nice one. Topo Chico has gone upscale.

It's in a lot of fancy restaurants where you have to pay $4 for it. Yeah, sure. That I don't like. But it is a real nice drink, so no complaints. But, yeah, they didn't have any of those, so I was just like, fuck it. I'm just going to buy one of these weird little bottles of Club Soda. And when you buy that bottle – Like a local brand or like a Canada Drive?

Like a Canada Drive? Like a Canada Drive. Like a classic, you know, like the kind that they would serve you at the bar that's in a hotel conference room. Yeah. Yeah, of course. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I don't often drink that. And I'm often frustrated because that costs as much as the other kind.

It costs $1.60 or something. And it's small and it's weird. But the good part of it is you get that label. Get that label. And then you get to feel that nice smooth glass. It's got a heft. It's got a heft. It feels classy.

It feels classy. So even though you're feeling a little pain at the pump. Yeah, exactly. You're getting a little more for your bucks, you know? Yeah. And it goes in easy, you know? So it's not that much pain in the pump. So without a base, without a trace, though, Stu.

So I get it. This fucking thing, not only does it not have that slightly styrofoamy label, it's fucking plastic. It looks exactly the same, but it's plastic now. Yeah. Boy. My favorite thing about soda bottle labels, you're done with your story, right? Cool.

And in the end, I learned. Yeah. Oh, but you were going to say why you had a nap and a cola? I'll try. Oh, to get into fucking fighting shape for this show. Last night I went out for the first time in 17 years. But also the second time in two days because I went to see future Jordan Jesse Go Guess Nellie McKay the night before. Oh, cool.

I was kind of sleepy. I got up early to go to the flea market, put in a lot of miles at the Rose Bowl on the old shoe leather. Yep. And then I was- The Heel Toe Express. Yeah, exactly. It was like 1 o'clock in the afternoon, 1230 in the afternoon. I was like, shit, I am not going to make it till nighttime.

Went ahead, fucking crashed out, took a 45-minute nap like that. Pa-pow. Here we are. Out cold. Here we are at nighttime. Yeah. Chugged a 45-minute nap like that. Pa-pow. Here we are. Out cold. Here we are at nighttime. Yeah. Chugged a soda pop and here I am bringing you guys the heat. Bringing the heat.

Sorry, Stu. No, for what? For bringing the heat? Yeah, well. What could be better than this thrilling and hilarious and ultimately illuminating like emotionally anecdote that I just shared. Now, you did that on The Moth the last time you were on, right? Yeah, I did.

Mike Daisy canceled it the last minute because he was disgraced. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. Was that story true, Jesse? Was your soda story true? It was a pastiche. Oh, okay. Elements from different experiences I have had.

Sure. And you added a narrative through line for the purpose of... Yeah, I didn't fact check it, if that's what you're wondering. Stu, great hot dog socks, man. Oh, thanks, man. I like to look fresh, and I'm around... You know, Jesse's a bit of a clothes horse. Sure.

Clothes horse, right? That's what I was saying. So I wanted to, you know, impress. Yeah. Is that why you wore this metal t-shirt with a dog shooting a bazooka? Let me clarify. Yeah. So it is a heavy metal band, and it's a t-shirt that is based on their album cover.

The album is Traveler, and it's meant to resemble a supplement for the role-playing game Traveler, of course. And that is not a dog. No, no, no. That is a half-man, half-varger hybrid. Oh, thank you very much. A dog-headed alien of race. Oh.

That's why he's got that fist he's pumping. He's going like, he's got one hand going like, yeah. Yeah, he's doing a revolution against humanity. Oh, shit. And you're on their dog team? Yeah, I'm on the dog. I mean, well, you know, until everything falls apart. You should love this band.

They're based out of the Bay Area. Oh, I love that. Love it already. So we'll do a CD swap afterwards. Is the name of the band The Lord Weird or Slew Feig? The Lord Weird Slew Feig is their entire name, yeah. Wow. Yeah, rules right off the top.

Now, what metal subgenre are they a part of? I would say they, I would consider them just like traditional heavy metal. They're like, I would say they sound like if Iron Maiden and Thin Lizzy had a baby. Oh, okay. So maybe you can understand the singing. Yeah.

Oh, of course. And there's a little bit of like Celtic influence and some like twin guitar harmonies. Yeah. Rousing, galloping stuff. Now, while we're just asking you things about your clothes, what's your gold band? You have a gold band on. Oh, it's just a bracelet. It looks like a – I think it's fashioned after like a railroad spike.

Oh, neat. It's brass. I just – I like after like a railroad spike. Oh, neat. And it's brass. I just – I like having something on my wrists. Yeah. That's good. I like having a reassuring weight. Maybe I'm like Conan and I like having increased amounts of weight placed on me so that I can get bigger and stronger. Is that one of Conan's things?

Yeah. I mean, you know, in the beginning of Conan and Conan the Barbarian where he's like a little kid and he's pushing – he's just pushing like a log in a circle with a couple of other guys. And then like he lowers his head and he raises his head back up and he's Arnold Schwarzenegger. And you're like, wow, I got to get one of those logs. Conan is one of those things that I only remember one thing from. And it might not even be Conan. It could just be one of the many Conan-like movies that were on – If it's ferrets, you're thinking of Beastmaster.

Oh, it's a thing where he had to cut off someone's head and the head kept regrowing and he had to cut off the guy's head a lot. I believe that's a different movie. Might be a different movie. He does cut off James Earl Jones's head at the end of the movie. Does the head grow back and then he has to keep cutting it off? Nope, he throws it down some steps while everybody looks at him. Oh, what's wrong with James Earl Jones' head? Wait, why does it have to be separated from his body?

Yeah. Well, so he, in this case, James Earl Jones is playing Thulsa Doom, the head priest of a snake cult. Mm-hmm. And he- Sounds good so far. Sounds great. He and his minions, Rexxor and Thorgrim and their army, they destroy destroy Conan's village, and they enslave him as a child, and he vows revenge. Honestly, this is- It takes him a while, though, because there's a lot of snake cults out there.

Oh, so he has to go through lesser snake cults until he gets to the right one. Yeah, that's probably the best line in the movie. Rexxor and Thorgrim, that is some fucking A-plus fantasy nonsense. Yeah, it's great. That is some fucking A-plus fantasy nonsense. Yeah, it's great. It's so good. Oh, man, what a great movie. All that sounds really great to me.

And if anything, I would give James Earl Jones an extra head. Oh, wow. That's two beautiful voices harmonizing with themselves. Yeah, like the twin guitars of the Lord Weird Sloughfag. Jesse's turned for some virtue signaling. Maybe he could have a dog head like that guy, the space guy. It would probably help him against getting his head chopped off because one head could be looking in the other direction. Is it the story of a dog man taking over the universe the album traveler yeah so the album is about a uh a space pirate who crash lands and uh a doctor uh turns him into a mutant that's a half man half farger

hybrid and then he leads a revolt amongst his people he certainly sounds revolting i have in those in those like rock concept albums where you are supposed to be getting a story. I have never once been able to follow one. I've just taken people's word for it. They're like, oh, yeah, this is about, you know, this is about a space robot that comes to life. I'm like, I guess. Yeah, I've never. Is that something that you can when you listen to those concept albums?

Do you like know the story? Usually, I mean, you miss out on the intricacies until you spend a little time with it. I would say of the heavy metal story albums, I think the easiest one for me to follow is King Diamond's Abigail, which is a gothic horror story about a cursed house and family and a ghost that impregnates a woman. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. A tale as old as time. And told by a fellow in a top hat. Are you just reading directly from The Hero with a Thousand Faces?

But, like, I feel like that's pretty easy to follow. But I don't know. Like, yeah, for the most part, yeah. I feel like. But when I go to a musical for, like, the songs i'm like i have no idea what's going on and then by the third song i'm like oh they're sing rapping about uh history stuff i get it now i like this oklahoma you say sorry with a what on top? Yeah.

Or like, I don't know, seeing Shakespeare in the first actor. So you're like, what is, I signed up for the wrong thing. And then you realize what a comfortable place it is to nap. Have you, now you're known for your, you're known for your, for your chill. Sure, yeah. For your chill. Laid yeah. For your chill... Laid-back vibes. Vibes. Yep.

And you're a New Yorker. Uh-huh. And here you are in L.A., land of chill. Yeah, yeah. Have you been chilling in any new or different ways than you have previously?

And if I can ask a follow-up question immediately, what weird foods have you eaten that have CBD in them? Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. So, man, CBD is one of those things that I don't think I've eaten any yet, but then I've been preparing all my own breakfasts. So I run a bar, So I run a bar and not that long ago, my wife was bartending and she owns the bar. She's the brains behind the operation. And some salesman came in and he's like, hello.

Can I – I'm sure he had some kind of a mustache and he's like – Can I sleep in your bar? I promise I will not touch your young comely daughters. I know this old i know this old don't trust him and he was he was trying to sell uh cbd oil and she's like yeah we don't want it and he's like it's totally legal you can put it in your cocktails and she's like no it isn't and he's like no it's legal we don't want to be the first ones to be doing it like we don't need to be on the forefront of this take a stand and we turned of course turn this guy away and then like then you know the next week we go into the coffee shop next door and they're offering cbd infused like lattes and we're like

idiots and then of course a week after that the health department starts cracking down on all these businesses oh wow so yeah sometimes you don't need to be an innovator. You don't need to move fast and break stuff. That's what I'm saying, guys. Yeah. So as far as chilling in new and interesting ways. Just stick to your old business plan of selling lewds in the bathroom. And videotaping it, right?

Selling the videotapes. I'd love to watch others buy lewds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's – people are super into true crime now, dude. What's truer than that? That's true. Here's a crime. Here's a man buying lewds.

As far as chilling, I can't keep up with you guys. I'm like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody needs to walk faster. You're too chill. Do this transaction faster. I don't want to wait in line. I have places to go. I went to the, I went to, I think the country's, L.A.'s, California's first pot restaurant.

I went to the pot restaurant recently. Is this, is it an entire restaurant dedicated to pot? Or is it shaped like a giant potted plant? Right. So you have to climb up the sheer side and dive into the top of what looks like a giant bog and then swim to the bottom. They put you on belay. Right. Yes, of course.

No, it's all very safe. Yeah. It is a restaurant where you can eat, but you could also smoke pot on their patio. Okay. I guess the weird rules are they cannot serve you pot food, but a separate employee can come around and sell you things from a dispensary. A corporate employee can come around and like sell you things from a dispensary. So you could like buy a joint and smoke it there or you can buy a candy bar and eat it there. And then – so there's like – it's like you're at two different places. I feel like that's a little unnecessarily confusing in a place that's giving you stuff that makes you confused. Yeah, it is. And here's the thing.

The bathroom is very hard to find. The big mistake of this place is that the bathroom, you have to go outside and like around the building. And it's like this is just like to fuck with people. Yeah, you got to walk past like three gift shops. Yeah. And then a guy asks you what your astrological sign is and you freak out. Have either of you ever eaten marijuana food? And I'm not talking about like a brownie.

This show should be called Is Jesse a Cop? Have any of you had a marijuana food with your colas recently? You know what I mean? Have any of you ever eaten not like a pot brownie or like a mint, like a marijuana-infused mint from a dispensary, but like a meal food that has marijuana integrated into it? Because that's a thing you read a lot about in a local alternative newspaper. Right. Or even now like an L.A. magazine or something. Sure. now like a like an la magazine or something sure like a yeah there's like there was like a celebrity chef will do a pop-up or they'll make a you know four course meal and it all has weed in it i kind

of feel like my i have not so if either of you have tell me but my inclination is that based on what like cbd oil tastes like uh-huh uh for example, or any marijuana food thing that like a product that I've tasted that doesn't have a really strong taste. It basically tastes like grass clippings. Yeah, I know. So wouldn't you just do drugs and then eat nice food? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I think that that thing of like, oh, we made the four-course

meal with weed is like, is kind of like a weed activism thing. It feels like more than it is a thing you would like want to do. Because yeah, I mean, I feel like all, although I feel like all weed candy I feel like tastes very bad. Yes. No matter, you know,

like, oh, this is a salted caramel gumdrop with a, you know, like, oh, this is a salted caramel gumdrop with a liquid red velvet center. It's like, well, yeah, it just tastes like it fell on the ground. And also, besides that, even if it tastes really great, like, they're never set up. It's not like, you know, if I go to the store to buy candy, I'm going to buy myself a bag of Haribo peaches. Sure. You know what I mean? I got to get those peaches.

Love those peaches. Good. And I'm just going to get in there. You know, I'm going to munch them down. You got to be careful. Kids and grownups love it so. Yeah. The more good a weed candy tastes, the more it's just punishing you for the fact that you're only supposed to eat one or two of them.

But yeah, no, I feel like all, although I will say that most weed food, like the candies and brownies and stuff, while it tastes bad, I do, in the little mints, it does kind of, it is more, it does highlight the mint more than it does chocolate or whatever. Yeah. It tastes a little more natural than the mint. Oh natural because mint is also a plant yeah okay but yeah i just feel like people when they do the celebrity chef pop-up four-course meal it does feel like there's an element of see look see it look this is fine see look george washington made rope out it! And I made creme brulee! It's a plant! Oh, are we gonna... It's like that weed activist logic.

It's like, oh, you're afraid of a plant? Are you gonna scream at a daffodil? Like, weed should be legal. But also, that kind of shit is... Plus, this vine is wrapped around my leg. It's pulling me into this quicksand. You don't have to yell. I was just saying my nug-yokey is a little too gritty.

Narc, get out of here. Founding fathers, constitution, hemp, all hemp. Anyway. But yeah, I think that's where that comes from. Oh, cool. Okay. Yeah. But the weed restaurant, very fun,'s where that comes from. Oh, cool. Okay. Yeah. But the weed restaurant, it's very fun.

Like smoking a joint inside is a thrill. Somewhere that's not your house or your friend's house. Yeah. Or in my case, my friend Ian's shed that they've turned into a chill-out zone. Where we play Settlers of Catan sometimes. Oh, that sounds awesome. Yeah, he's done a great job with the shed. It's a really fun chill-out zone and a great place to play Settlers of Catan. I mean, Ian

is one of the chillest guys I've ever met. He's like Stuart Wellington level chill. It's insane. This guy's chill. I want to play Settlers of Catan with that guy. Man, it's a lot of fun. We all have a great time. That sounds awesome.

Yeah, he always puts on a great mix. Oh, cool. Always has a great mix. Few people I'd rather have say to me, hey, man. Yeah. You know? Just feels good. He puts on a great mix, and this is a fun little addition to the Settlers of Catan when you're doing it in the chill out shed.

So you got a great mix on. Everybody's hanging out. On the TV, sound off versions of classic Star Trek. Oh, yeah. It's a lot of fun. That sounds great. It is great. Can you throw some subbies up on there?

You just imagine what they're saying. Yeah, you could throw some subbies up there. I'd probably kind of follow what's going on. Yeah, that's cool. If they're not throwing subbies, I'm throwing bows. You know what I mean? Give me my subbies. This one's for the hearing impaired.

And you're like, I don't want to follow what's going on. Yeah. So, yeah. So the idea of like smoking a joint where someone is serving you food is it's a thrill. It feels wrong. It feels like you're, you know, it is kind of cool because it feels yeah you know you're like looking over your shoulder expecting like it to be some kind of elaborate sting yeah right exactly and everybody everybody at once rips off their fake mustache and puts on their cop hat you're the only one guy yeah all those articles in eater la

were to trick you jordan We've been friends for years and you told me to come here. I'm sorry. It's a long game. LA Taco lied to me. You had such good information. That sounds great. Yeah, it's like drinking outside in Vegas. It's just this

thing you can do and it's like, what? I'm this? Okay. It's a cool feeling. The last time my wife and I went to Vegasgas i think it was before we did the grand canyon show uh we we we immediately started walking down the strip uh and we went up and we got big old drinks and we're like oh this is crazy and we're walking around it's super crowded And my wife looks into her purse and she's like, my wallet's gone. And immediately any buzz I had disappeared. And I'm like, fuck.

And like, what do you do? I started running around. I'm like, what am I going to tell a cop? He's not going to do anything. Like, he can't do anything. We were taking a picture with a guy in a filthy minion costume. So I'm like running back and forth. I'm like checking garbage cans to make

sure that like in a worst case scenario maybe if somebody was in a rush they like grabbed it snatched a couple bucks and threw it away and then like uh maybe five minutes pass and she checks the other pocket in her purse and finds it and then that buzz come back oh the buzz never really came back it was all adrenaline like somebody like in a minions costume bumped up to me and was like hey do you want to take a picture i'm like get the fuck out of my face yeah that's how you ended up just chasing that dragon yeah yeah i just it's it's adrenaline that's the whole tossed him into the bellagio fountain and then he bounced between the water spouts. Pretty funny.

Pretty funny, actually. He died, but a pretty funny visual gag. You want to go out funny. Yeah, you do. And I think if you're a guy in a minion costume, taking pictures of the tourists on the Vegas Strip, that's why you were put on this earth, to spread joy. And I think if you can die being bounced back and forth between the water spouts and the Bellagio fountain, it's a king's death.

I think that was the original ending of Birdman, actually. Yeah, one take. One take. That whole movie. As he was bouncing back and forth, I just heard him scream. You could just hear him, because the fountain's loud, the costume's heavy. You just hear him, don't let me die in vain. Record a video and add boyoys.

And then people could put it up with the caption sliding into Monday like. And then people could put it up with the caption sliding into Monday like hashtag TGIM hashtag snuff film. Hashtag this guy died. Yeah, it was crazy because it happened. And, you know, sometimes you bump into celebrities on the strip and this guy was flipping, flopping around, shouting all this stuff. Bob Saget was next to me, and he's like, I've seen better, and walked away. Wow. The Sag man burned him. Harsh critique.

Sounds like there's a new Roastmaster General. The food was not good at the weed restaurant, but Pauly Shore was there. That's good. Didn't seem to be eating, just seemed to be walking around. Just burnishing the brand. Yeah. Just wandering and burnishing. Do you think he was like doing one of those gigs where you get hired by, say, a liquor

company to just show up at a bar and be like, I love Tito's vodka. Hey, everybody should get Tito's vodka shots. Do you think that's what he was doing? Oh, right. He was a brand ambassador for the idea of marijuana. Hey, buddy. The weasel likes to smoke the gange. And they're like, the Encino man himself in person.

He's like, actually, that's not who I was playing. I was in Encino man. I was not the Encino man. They're like, well, it's too late. We already made the poster. I'm the son-in-law. I'm the jury duty. I'm in the army now.

Are there any other Pauly Shore movies? No, I hope not. We've listed them all. You forgot Biodome, but that's okay. Biodome. More of a Tenacious D movie in my opinion. Oh, wow. Sure, they are in the background of one shot.

But their first motion picture appearance. First big credit. Good for them. Good for appearance. First big credit. Yeah. Good for them. Good for them. Good for them. Now they're kings of the world, right? Yeah.

Jack Black makes YouTube videos of him playing video games. People love him. Well, I mean, there's big money in that. Why don't you guys do that? Yeah, that's the future, man. He is forward thinking. My daughter watches videos of a man playing minecraft sometimes who's the man uh unspeakable is his name sure uh it is comfortably the lowest form

of entertainment i've ever witnessed like it is definitely worse than the oogie loves oh wow and he doesn't seem like a bad person like want to be clear he does not seem like a bad person uh and if he's listening right now my apologies unspeakable you seem like a bad person. I want to be clear. He does not seem like a bad person. And if he's listening right now, my apologies, Unspeakable. You seem like a nice man. Oh, his name is Unspeakable. That's what his name is. Oh, funny. I thought you were dunking on him.

No, his name is Unspeakable. And he seems like a perfectly decent human being. He's not teaching any bad values to my children other than that they should play a lot of Minecraft. But, you know, there's worse things than that. Are you just knocking them down right now so that you can open up a hole in that market so that you can do your actual play or live play of The Witcher 3? Yeah, where I just get angry at the cut scenes. What the fuck does this mean?

What does this fucking mean? Well, if you'd read the Scandinavian novels, it's based on Polish? It's Polish. Thank you, Stu. Thank you. That's the thing. That's how you have a lived-in world, isn't it? It's based on a series of novels. All good video games are based on a series of novels.

About a protagonist who has various types of ponytails. I don't think the Confederacy of Dunces first-person shooter is one of my favorites. I don't think the Confederacy of Dunces first person shooter is one of my favorite. I don't think any entertainment product has ever more confused and upset me than when I tried to play that video game. I understand it to be a, I think I was upset not because it was the worst, but because

everyone loves it so much. And I was like, why is it that everyone else loves it so much yeah it's like why is it that everyone else loves it so much and i i true i put hours into it and had no idea what was going on or what i was doing are you you're mad at all the people on yahoo answers that were like is this a good jumping on point of course the third game in this series that's based on a series of novels um yeah boy i feel like all the video games i have played recently except you know world combat 11 sure it's great we're just such slow starters even great games that i've loved like i love the last god of war game cold take very the coldest coldest take you'll ever get on this show is the new God of War is very, very good.

But yeah, I'm like, it didn't get that way for three hours. I don't know why. I don't know why that is with video games. Maybe they just hold your hand too much. Maybe they assume you've never played a video game before. I think that's what it is. I mean, there is an extent, and I will say this. Yeah.

I'm deeply grateful for it. But like in the Cowboy Man what's that called? Red Dead Redemption 2? In Cowboy Man there's like, well first of all, you play it I went to the end of it. It took me a thousand

hours. I don't even know how many hours. The first one or the second one? The second one. Oh wow. It just goes on and on and on and on and and then it's done, and you're like, well, that's done. And then there's a whole second thing that happens where you're driving fence posts. Anyway, if it's going to be 500 hours long, they might as well spend- You should have said spoiler alert, by the way. Yeah. Come on, man.

I'm only like 50 hours in. Yes. You should have said spoiler alert, by the way. Yeah, come on, man. I'm only like 50 hours in. They might as well give you like seven hours of learning how to say hi-yah to a horse. You know, which button is the hi-yah button. Every time I would put that game down and then come back to it, I would always end up like shooting a friend, punching my horse. Because I would forget the control scheme on my PlayStation.

It was like the least intuitive. I mean, I don't know when this turned into a podcast. I truly – when did this turn into a podcast people might enjoy or choose to listen to? I truly cannot play two video games at the same time. Yeah, I mean, that's really tough, dude. You have to look at two screens. It's so hard. Yeah, I mean, that's really tough, dude. You have to look at two screens. It's so hard. Sure, yeah.

It's so hard for me to remember what the buttons are of one video game. Yeah. And to remember the second one and then go back to the first one, it's completely hopeless. I can play a PlayStation 4 game with my two hands, and I can sometimes tap the screen of my Nintendo Switch with my erect penis. Right. Right. Oh, wow. And I don't do great, but I can navigate if it's a snipper clips.

I mean, I think one of the problems with the playing- Not Katamari Damacy. Yes, I can play Katamari. That's a better one. I can play Katamari Damacy with my boner. Yeah, well, Katamari, do your best. By pressure, yeah. Just trying to get some respect from your dad.

Just trying to please the king of all cosmos. Is my penis mighty enough for you, father? Fuck, that shit rules so hard. Yeah, Katamari's great. I think it's probably the answer to my question of why do video games start so slow these days is that we are men, almost 40-year-old men. We've been playing video games for a long time. But also, you need to make them. Is that we are men, almost 40-year-old men. Yeah. We've been playing video games for a long time.

But also, you need to make them so children can play them because that is also who they are for. So that's probably the answer. But I mean- I'm old. I want to start playing. I can play this. But I mean, I think I can't play it. I want to be clear.

I need that seven-hour ramp up. Sure, yeah. And also, the fact that it's boring, that's a plus to me. It's like baseball. Those are the two things. Oh, sure. I'm like, great, it's boring. Fantastic.

It's like, yeah, it's just sitting on a porch watching your grass grow. Anything that distracts me from the fact that I'm responsible for feeding four other human beings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is a joy. Two dogs, too. Oh, fuck. I forgot. What are you doing here?

Oh, no. I've got to get out of here. People are in danger. Yeah, usually, like, on the days when my wife's at work and it's, like, 6 or 6.30 in the evening and I'm like, I'm going to play a little video game before Charlene's done. My cats very much make me aware that I'm responsible for feeding them. They stand as much in the way of the TV with their arms up like Godzilla's yelling at me. And I'm like, but I need to finish killing guys in Dark Souls, kitty. I'm doing some soul farming.

I got to grind, you know, rise and grind. You got to rise and grind, man. I had no idea that Dark Souls even had a Starman farm game mode. Oh, well, I mean, there is farming to do if you wanna level up. And I do.

It's the only way you're gonna get through it. Guys, I gotta go farm real quick. Let's take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. real quick. Let's take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Every episode of Jordan, Jesse Go, every single one one is brought to you by Maximum Funds members.

All the folks who've gone to MaximumFund.org slash donate and signed up to throw a couple bucks a month our way. We love them. We're also this week grateful to our friends at ZipRecruiter. Yes. You know, you might have heard this story before. It's a folk tale. This is a folk tale as old as time. It's actually a first appearance in writing a folk tale as old as time.

It's actually a first appearance in writing was in Grimm's Fairy Tales. But it's passed down via oral tradition. Yeah. You know, who knows how far back. Yeah. I'm talking, of course, of the legend of Cafe Altura's CEO, COO, excuse me, Dylan Miskiewicz. Oh, great. Dylan Miskiewicz. The great Dylan Miskiewicz. Oh, great. Dylan Miskiewicz. The great Dylan Miskiewicz.

An everyman, a cipher for the audience. He emerges again from the mists of time with his dogman friend Ndugu. Dylan Miskiewicz needed to hire. Did I get that right? Ndugu? I think so. I mean, you know, there's different translations. Okay.

Different translations. Yeah. So, you know, there's different translations. Okay. Different translations. Yeah. Dylan Miskiewicz needed to hire a director of coffee, so he went to Zip Recruiter, posted his job, and found the best person for the role in just a few days. You've heard the story in Joseph Campbell's Hero with a Thousand Faces.

That's right. You've seen it altered only slightly in the film Star Wars. Now you can live it by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash JJ Go. You know, it's no wonder that four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Yes, their technology finds people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job. And right now, try ZipRecruiter for free at our web address. Ours. Ours.

ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Remember what I always say, Jordan. What? WWD, Jordan. What? WWDMD. What would Dylan Miskiewicz do? Right.

It's on your crocheted bracelet as we speak. And now a Jumbotron message that may or may not involve Dylan Miskiewicz. Yeah. Hey, this is for Electric Elastic, two JJ goers. Yeah. I guess they're listeners to JJ. They're called tupp, two JJ goers. Yeah. I guess they're listeners to JJ. They're called tuppies, but go ahead. Two JJ goers.

They may have revealed that they're not actually tuppies. We'll see as the Jumbotron continues. They've started a post-gender lingerie company called Electric Elastic. All lingerie is made to order in the sex capital of the world, Portland, Oregon. Yeah. Fucking those spotted owls up there. They offer a variety of sizes and shape configurations to get everyone on your holiday list into sexy see-through mesh. Visit them at electricelastic.com and buy androgynous sex clothes for yourself and any consenting adult in your life that needs some seductive under things. Because lingerie is for everyone and gender isn't real.

Electricelastic.com. Here's one more message on the Jumbotron for all tuppies from Laurel. This is the message. I recently fled San Francisco for Tucson, Arizona, and I want to make more friends here. I'm looking for fellow tuppies to do activities like catching live comedy shows, hiking, road trips, eating tacos, drinking beer, arts and crafts, and playing with my dog, Honey Bear. Fuck yeah. This fucking sounds great. Is this like the two greatest Jumbo Trots we've ever had?

Yes. These are beautiful. Hey. Fucking Honey Bear. Who doesn't want to play with Honey Bear? What kind of monster is in Tucson, Arizona right now? Like, I'd rather do some kind of desert thing than play with honey bear. Listen, if you're in Tucson or the surrounding area and you want to do any of the things mentioned, just email TucsonLaurel at gmail.com.

TucsonLaurel at gmail.com. You know, Jordan, there's some great stuff in the MaxFunStore at maxfunstore.com. We've also got some great new stuff on the way. Yeah, we've got some new shirts coming at you for the holiday season, perfect for gift giving. These are very cool shirts. One of them is, can I spill the beans? Spill some of the beans, not all the beans. Keep some beans in the can.

Okay. One of them is very cool. Yes. And the other one has to do with a misunderstanding your child had about the Simpsons. Keep an eye out for them at MaxFunStore.com. But also just go to MaxFunStore.com because there's all kinds of cool stuff, including some really cool Jordan Jesse Go stuff. Yeah. Available to you. New stuff coming soon.

Let's get back to the show. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you,'s headed to the boo. Yeah, you're going to Malibu after this, right? Not exactly after this, but later on. Yeah, I'm sometime in my life, after we record this, I'm going to Malibu. Is it cool? Should I wear something different?

No, most people in Malibu are mostly wearing space alien dog man metal shirts. Oh, cool. Primarily. And then hot dog socks also. And hot dog socks. You'll fit in great.

Should I be wearing, I don't know, like a drug rug and like cargo shorts and flip flops? I think you should be driving a Mercedes G-Wagon. Yeah, you should be like, you should have like an Aloha shirt, like an expensive Aloha shirt. Yeah, like khaki shorts and then, yeah, like a Tesla. And the money should be on my shoes and my watch, right? Yes, yeah. Exactly. I've seen hustlers.

I know how a rich man dresses. Oh, that's right. And then you drug them and drag them to all those strip clubs. Or I'm the one being drugged and dragged. Maybe I shouldn't dress like that. We'll figure it out. I want to say we just had two weeks ago on the program, we had a discussion about words in our families that stood in for swear words. Yes.

Were you allowed to swear in your family growing up, Stu? No. Did anyone in your family have a false? I mentioned that my maternal grandmother was well known for saying thunder turtles. Oh, wow. That's good. My mom was better known for saying fuck. I can't think of any of my family ones, but I had a close friend growing up who came from a big family, and they weren't allowed to say fart, so they called it fluffing. Oh, yeah. The Plotkins did that.

The Plotkins said fluffing. That's some kids I grew up with. And they would say it all the time. Like, it was just like their family. I mean, it was a family of four boys. Yeah. So, I mean, that whole house was like a fluff factory. Yeah, sure. House of fluff.

Jesse's currently Googling. He's like, fluffing is spread throughout the country. My son, Oscar, he's all in on talking about his toots. Uh-huh, yeah. Toots. That's a good one. The reason is that he will under no circumstances admit that he has toots. Uh-huh, yeah. Toots. She said toots. That's a good one. The reason is that he will, under no circumstances, admit that he has to poop.

Mm-hmm. So it's all toot talk. And he'll just, yesterday he was standing there, he was standing there and he had this angry look on his face. And I was like, what's going on, Oss? Are you okay? Are you okay, Ossie? And he goes, I'm trying to toot

because I don't have to poop. Wow. And I was like, wow. Okay, buddy. Okay, is this how kindergarten going? My secret, I always have to toot. So

we opened up the phone lines. We asked listeners to call in with their substitutions for swearing growing up. And bonus points if they actually got their parents or grandparents to call in. So let's see if anybody did that. And then do we have to use it in a sentence? Oh, yeah. Yes, that's a good rule. Yeah.

Real quick, we actually got a ton of people who had substitute words for farts. That is one of the top things that people talked about was replacing the word fart. Fluffer was on there. Popping was on there. Popping. Yeah, there was a lot of really good ones. I just wanted to say that. I'm trying to pop because I don't have to poop.

Once you pop. At this point, just say fart, right? Fart's not like all of this stuff is equal to fart. This is all lateral. What I like about pop is that it's like poop missing an O. Oh, sure. Yeah, Brian, what did we get? Hey, Jordan and Jesse and guests.

Hey, long time listener. This is Aaron from Clearwater, Florida. I wanted to tell you that my great-aunt Helen, she used to always say bull pucky to just about everything. And she killed me, man. And her other one was every time somebody said something was totally full of shit, she would just say, oh, goll. So at her funeral, she died a few years ago, I had to stand up and say, well, we can't say goodbye

to Helen without saying, oh, goll and bull pucky. And she was basically my grandma, and she was pretty awesome. And I miss her now still, and I just loved all of her little sayings and cute little things she did. So anyway, love the show, guys. Have a great day. The next story on The Moth is a very beautiful story. Very beautiful. And it sounds like that dude that dude's funeral speech

I bet it killed yeah I bet when he said bullpucky that place went wild I'd kill to kill like that in fact I may kill my aunt oh wow

just to just to tell oh goal I think that works as far as using it in a sentence yeah yeah oh goal

or uh yeah like those clowns in congress are full of bullpucky. Sure, yeah. That's great. That's like prospector style. Yes. That's a very gall-durnit tarnation.

I feel like that is a very great Aunt Helen type of thing to say. Maybe that's how she made her fortune, mining for gold. I think it's wild to say that at the funeral, though. I mean, you've got to have stones to say, oh, gall at the funeral. Sure, yeah. Gall, stones. Yeah, if you're going to work blue like that, you've got to walk out there in an all blue leather bodysuit.

Yeah. That's what I wear to funerals ordinarily. Sure. If it's not somebody I'm really close to, then I'd break out the red one. Oh, wow.

Yeah. I wore a, oh, shoot, I can't think, I was going to say I wore a green bodysuit too and I'm trying to think of the guy's name

who does all the motion capture stuff. Andy Serkis. There you go. Yeah. I mean, he uses a suit covered in little

white balls now, but I mean, I guess. Yeah, that was, you know, my thing was ill-conceived, and I'm sorry. And Andy Serkis isn't dead, and he does a lot of great work. Yeah, yeah. But, you know. Except for that Mowgli movie. I want to tip my cap to Andy Serkis, and I want to tip my cap to those little white balls, and I want to tip my cap to all the technicians who make it possible to capture Andy Serkis' signature dunks.

Right. For the NBA 2K series. Yes, he does. Little does everyone know, every dunk is Andy Serkis in some sort of studio in New Zealand somewhere, and then ILM does the rest. Is that the video game where if you do enough dunks, your head turns into like – your head catches on fire or something? I think that's Stitcher 3. Witcher 3?

Stitcher 3 is the podcast app role-playing game. Wow. Brian, we got another fucking call. Hi, Jordan and Jesse. I'm calling to tell about a swear word that my grandmother used to say. Instead of calling people assholes, she would always call them ass-h's. Or, you know, shitheads, she would call them a shit-h. She would always say the bad word and then abbreviate the not-bad portion of the word.

Anyway, hope you enjoy it. Thanks. Dude, your grandma fucking R's. Yeah. Pretty. That's great fucking R's. Yeah. Pretty. That's great. That's so funny. That's really good.

That's a good bit. That's a great bit. What a good bit. For Grandma Wrote for 30 Rock. That's very... Anyway. But maybe she thought, maybe she considered head to be a bad word. Yeah.

Could be. Or maybe she just, she liked leaving it up to people's imaginations what she was talking about. Oh, yeah. Ass hat. Yeah. Ass harp. Ass hell. I mean, that would be pretty bad.

That's a double swear. Sure. Sir Mix-a-Lot went when he died. It's his ironic punishment going to ass hell. Oh, you like asses, do you? Have all the asses in the world. I hope Sir Mix-a-Lot and Andy Serkis are both fine. And I hope they'll collaborate on something someday.

I would love that. He's got all those white balls on his butt. They're like, Andy Serkis, okay, you're going to be the mountains of butts in the background. Now imagine you're a butt that's 20 feet tall. And, you know, I think he'd really embody that butt. And I think he would bring that butt a kind of a pathos, a kind of a soul. Like, even though it's a digital butt, you know, it would have a physicality, and it would have an emotional life that you would really believe. And it's not just because the butt has oversized eyes, though that is part of it.

That's a big part of it, yeah. Yeah. Do you think Sir Mix-a-Lot has a signature dunk? I don't know. I'd like to see. I think so. I'd like to see. Okay.

That's it. If your family members had an amusing substitute for swear words, although I don't think anyone's going to beat that last one. That's about as funny as this segment is going to get. I want to see it on the Reddit. Maximumfunditereddit.com. This week's episode in the comments there. Put it in there. And yeah, I'm talking to you, Curry Mango.

Yeah. I'm delivering here. I remembered to say Curry Mango. That's our new favorite listener on Reddit. Law3Bree. Oh, cool. Lawthreeper. Lawthreeper. You can post it there too.

Hit us up, M fuckers. I'm worried that some people think that I really turned against Lawthreeper. I would never turn against Lawthreeper. No, it's all in good fun. He's a peach. It's a delightful roasting. Yeah. Lawthreeper did call in a thing this week and he pledged his fealty.

That's good. Brian, thanks for letting us know. Don't play the call. I don't want to encourage him too much. No. But we accept your fealty, Law 3. Thank you for bending the knee.

Okay. 206-9844-FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org with your voice memo. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Disico. Hello, this is Amy Mann.

And I'm Ted Leo. And we have a podcast called The Art of Process. We've been lucky enough over the past year to talk to some of our friends and acquaintances from across the creative spectrum to find out how they actually work. And so I have to write material that makes sense and makes people laugh. I also have to think about what I'm saying to people. If I kick your ass, I'll make you famous. The fight to get LGBTQ representation in the show. We weirdly don't know as many musicians as you would expect. I really just became a political speechwriter by accident.

Realizing that I have accidentally pulled my pants down. Listen and subscribe at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. It's like if the guinea pig was complicit in helping the scientist. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. scientist. Hi, I'm Dave. Hi, I'm Graham. And we're two house DJs who have been trapped inside our drum machine. We love it here

and we'd love if you stopped by and visited us every week on Stop Podcasting Yourself here on MaximumFun.org. We're just a couple of doofuses from Canada and listen to our show or perish. Stop Podcasting Yourself on MaximumFun.org. Jordan, Jesse Goe, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And Stuart Wellington, handsome drifter.

Are you guys headed anywhere else besides Los Angeles, Stu? In life or the podcast? In the podcast. Yeah, do you think you've peaked? Is the Regent Theater the peak of your career? You guys, because of children and jobs and so on and so forth, tend to do spot dates more than you do big tours. But you got anything on the horizon? No, we actually have – that was our last scheduled show. So show so i mean uh live show we're still recording the podcast um but uh

yeah i mean i think we're probably working on dates for next year but we don't have anything on the books if you get a chance to go see the floppers live it was an absolutely delightful show i had a great time man i brought i i I brought my buddy, Noe, who had never heard the show before. Oh, wow. That's neat. He had a fantastic time. I had to explain a couple things to him along the way, but he had a great time. He loved it.

Thought it was great. He was excited to meet Alonso Duralde from Who Shot Ya? Dan said, and Elliot talks over everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Well, when Elliot started singing a song, I was like, I'm going to lean over and- This would be funny if you had been listening to this show for five years. Yeah.

But yeah, it was a fucking great time. Oh, thanks. If you're not somewhere where the Flophouse are coming live, of course, you can get the podcast in your podcast app, and I recommend it highly. I am not. I will say this. Many years ago, Jordan recommended the show to me. Yep.

And I arched an eyebrow because Jordan is a lover of bad movies, and I am not. Okay. And I thought maybe this... I always just assumed that show wasn't for me because I'd heard it was funny, but I figured it was a bad movie show. I'm not really into bad movies. Yeah. Who am I to listen to that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Boy, was I wrong. Aw. If you're not into bad movies, it does not matter. You don't have to be one of those people who's organizing VHS night at your house to enjoy the flop house. These are some of the smartest, funniest, sweetest fellas around. It's one of my favorite shows. I listen to it all the time and for an extendedest fellas around. It's one of my favorite shows.

I listen to it all the time. And for an extended period of time. It's a very long show. Yeah. It's gotten really long over time. I'm pitching my own show is that it's too long. I love listening to The Flophouse. I can't recommend it highly enough.

I think, Jordan, maybe it might be your favorite podcast. It's up there. Yeah. You guys are so hilarious. And definitely, I can't recommend it highly enough. I think, Jordan, maybe it might be your favorite podcast. It's up there. Yeah, you guys are so hilarious and definitely always – I always get a little spark of joy every time my phone tells me there's a new flop and I get to spend some time with my pals. Yeah, it's a great show. And I imagine if you listen to this show, you're also listening to The Flophouse. But if not, what are you doing? Yeah. And this was – I'm sure Dan has mentioned this before, but my co-host Dan,

Jordan Jesse Goh was one of the two big inspirations for the Flophouse. Aw, way back in the day. And the other one, Seven Samurai. Yeah, great podcast. Yeah. I like those true crime ones. It doesn't really work

as a movie, but I feel like podcast is the medium for Seven Samurai. Yeah. It's one guy doing all the samurai. Phil Hendry doing all the samurai. I was surprised when Phil Hendry optioned it for podcast. Because I was like, well, you know, a lot of people say that's maybe the greatest film ever made. Certainly one of the greatest films ever made. And while Phil is a very talented guy, I call him Phil because I know him personally and

have met him more than zero times. I said that's a weird reach for him to put that into podcast form. But he works that little foot pedal. Right. And he does different voices. He's like, hey, I'm Sam Ron number four. Yeah, that was my favorite character. four yeah what about me samurai number seven samurai number seven had that cool naginata that was pretty awesome uh if you're in brooklyn new y which many Jordan Jesse Go listeners are, you can often find Stuart.

You can often find Stuart at his wife's bar. At my wife's bar. Charlene is here. Working there, not just drinking. Working there. Sometimes the two become one. It's a bar that Charlene owns that she allowed Stu to theme Stuart themed. Yep, Stuart themed.

So it has pretty wallpaper. The bathrooms are covered in old Warhammer and D&D manuals. There's board games behind the bar. And there's plenty of board games behind the bar. We even have a board game night. It's called Hinterlands Bar. It's in Kensington, Brooklyn. And then my wife also just opened up another beautiful bar in Sunset Park called

Minnie's Bar. It's right on 4th Avenue and 33rd Street. These are beautiful places. I mean, one of the things that I was struck by when I went to Hinterlands for the first time was I said to my, I knew it was, I knew that, I know Stu was running the show mostly. I knew there was going to be some nerd stuff going on. Oh, yeah. It's a pretty place. It's a nice place to sit down and have a drink. It's like a nice, pretty neighborhood bar.

I've been to other nerd bars where it's a little dark and it's just like there's a lot of it. Yeah. It's a little of it. Yeah. It's a little oppressing. Yeah. And it also helps that we have those, like, big front windows. Yeah. So we get a lot of natural light. Love natural light.

I would say it's – if I was a realtor, I would say it's sun-drenched. Brian – I prefer it sun-dappled. I'll be leaving. Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer on the program. He's laughing out there. Shouts to Charlene, who somehow made it through listening to all of this. Yeah.

She's the best. Brian, I can actually, I know it looks like she's listening out there on headphones, but Brian actually pipes in other podcasts. Okay. Listening to Stuff You Should Know. Oh, okay. Well, that's nice. Phil Hendry's stuff.

Josh Emery. Okay. You can find us on Reddit, Hendry. Josh Emery. Okay. You can find us on Reddit, MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can find us on Facebook where you can like Jordan Jesse Go. We're on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne. We love you all very much and we'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. talk to you next time on Jordan Jessica.