Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 627: Freak Skank with Julia Prescott and Ify Nwadiwe

Episode Date: March 10, 2020

Julia Prescott (Round Springfield Podcast) and Ify Nwadiwe (Who Shot Ya? podcast) join Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the incredible pager sighting that Jesse saw at the flea market, the complex Disney cast member hierarchy that Ify and Julia have both experienced, and Jordan's heartbreaking news about the Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville at Universal Citywalk.MaxFunDrive is coming up quick! Get ready for bonus content and special episodes!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Go, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective, wondering why I didn't see fellow LACMA member Jesse Thorne at LACMA member yoga. You know they have LACMA yoga. I went to LACMA yoga. I did not yoga. No.

Don't get me wrong, Jordan. They had LACMA yoga. There's a LACMA across the street from our office, but it's open from 11 to 3 Saturdays. Huh. And so I took my- That's kind of like prime museum time. Yeah. LACMA, of course, the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.

It's not prime me being in my office time, though, which is so I always miss whatever show is going on. There's really one room in an elementary school, but it's run by LACMA. There's a Tamayo exhibit there. Like there's millions of dollars worth of art in that one room in an elementary school. But my son and I – I like the fact that there's maybe like stealth LACMAs around. Yeah. Like maybe there's just a Yoshinoya bathroom.

Like that – There's just one man ray in a Yoshinoya bathroom. That museum in New York that was in a cargo elevator for a while. Man. That might still exist. Anyway, I took my son Oscar over there and we really had a hard time looking at the art because there were so many people doing yoga in there. Yeah, well, I didn't get down there, unroll the mat that I know you bring everywhere with

you. Oh, yeah. You know I'm rolling my mat all the time. You never know. Like a samurai, I got on my back so I can whip it out. Sure, yeah. Like a samurai got on my back so I can whip it out. Sure, yeah.

Anyways, I went to my LACMA yoga. Yeah. Or the more widely known. It's standard LACMA. Standard LACMA yoga. You got easy access to LACMA yoga. You live right in the middle of Los Angeles just where LACMA is. Sure, yeah. And it was a members only thing.

Oh, yeah. I was sure that all the members were going to be there, but I didn't see you. And I was disappointed. I'm sorry. What kind of poses did you do? Well. Do you have any favorites? Well, here's the thing.

Uh-huh. They gave them cute names. Oh. Cute LA themed names. So Warrior Pose was Rideshare Driver. Oh. Wow. And Plank Pose was off ramp.

Oh, my gosh. Ah! Oh, man. You missed out, my friend. You missed out, my friend, on a lot of traffic humor. If only whoever wrote those zings had been working on the Bloomberg campaign. I know. Our boy would still be in, right?

That's our man. Mikey B. He could still surprise you. But those Mike Bloomberg Air Force Ones. I saw those in a magazine. Freaked me out, honestly. Is that real? Yeah, that's absolutely real. Yoga at an art museum is an interesting thing. Also real. Wait, hold on. I want to talk about also real

this morning at the flea market. I saw a group of teens, like older teens, younger 20-somethings maybe, like 19-year-olds or 20-year-olds. There was a group of five of them. They were all wearing white Air Force Ones. All five of them, boys and girls, the whole gang, all in Air Force Ones. Maybe it was just like a cool cult or something. Oh, it was probably like a cool cult.

Like a teen cult? You know those teens. Teen cult. Interesting thing about yoga at an art museum. Yeah. It is combining the yoga and being at an art museum. It is combining the two instances in which you are most concerned you might fart. It is doubling up on fart anxiety.

Yeah. And chili restaurant. Well, I mean, it's understood at a chili restaurant. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, it's understood in a chili restaurant. That's part of the ambiance. If you're there at Chili John's and you let one rip, people aren't going to say anything. It's Chili John's, baby. People just go, chili, chili, chili.

Right. Should we introduce our guests on the program? I would love to. Chili John. guests on the program to uh chili john first of all from uh that smash hit max fun simpsons podcast round springfield julia prescott hi julia hello and guess what we're doubling up this week because max fun drives right around the corner which we're getting ultra max funny uh from who shot you iffy wadway hey how's it going? I shot ya. Ify, you're a sneaker man.

You're wearing some golden sneakers right now. These are the Chinese New Year 2018 Jays. I'm going to say the 7s. Yeah, I'm off on my numbers because I typically focus on the 1s, are the high tops you'll normally like. The 11s, which are kind of the space jammy, like the black patent leather joints. And the 5s, which are the ones that look like when you say high top sneaker, that's what you think of. So anything in between those, I really relatively don't usually buy them. But this one was like a fancy one. And it was a journey.

And when you say J, that stands for jack-off? Yeah, yeah. Air jack-offs. Just really, you know, for, you know, the— Everyone knows that famous silhouette. That fashion is so weird. You know, just— It's so horny, I'm athletic at it.

Yeah. I got to get the athleisure. Any air—because I was thinking about this when I was at the flea market. Because when I go to the, this week was the Rose Bowl flea market. Which, and the Rose Bowl flea market, in addition to regular, it has three sections. It has swap meet bullshit. Your weathered wood wind chime maker. Yeah.

Your person who sands the, who repaints furniture and then sands the corners a little bit. Pack of tube socks? Pack of tube socks. That's good. That's a good one. As seen on TV products. Probably like a little fish bowl with a baby turtle in it. I don't know.

Are we also talking like succulents in interesting packages? Yes. Okay. Exactly. So that's one section. That's the one I don't visit that part. There's like an antiques and collectibles area. And then there's a big vintage clothing area, which is a gathering place for vintage clothing enthusiasts and dealers from all over the world.

A lot of Japanese people there. And people come from New York once a month to go do the Rose Bowl flea market. come from New York to once a month to go do the Rose Bowl flea market. And because of that Rose Bowl, like the normal flea market chic involves a lot of, I would say the highest level of flea market chic is people who are really living the lifestyle that I aspire to, which is just clothing with too many pockets on it that they ordered out of the back of the Atlantic or Harper's like,

and it's, and it's like the pockets have zippers to prevent foreign pickpockets from stealing your money. Right, right, right. Because you love travel. Yeah. You love travel. You consider yourself a citizen of the world. Like a lot of those kind of shirts that have like a shoulder flap, you know, like a flap

that goes down over the shoulder. And if you try to unbutton it, it a flap that goes down over the shoulder. And if you try to unbutton it, it just cleanly rips off. Yes. Yeah. I've been in those. Yeah. So that kind of thing on 57-year-old men.

But then there's a lot of these – there's a lot of cool teens and 20-year-olds whose aesthetic is so foreign to me and it's one step removed. I'm glad Ify's here because I was thinking of him this morning as I was at the thing because Ify's a real streetwear dorkus. Yeah, yeah. Which is the first name that you should be proud of. Oh, yeah. I like it better honestly than hype beast. I've yet to get a nickname this hour, and I'd like one by the end. Okay.

If he is a streetwear dorkus and you're a regular dorkus. Okay. Well, I would expect a little bit more creativity, but I guess beggars can't be choosers. And you're correct. Standard dorkus. Yeah. You can be a Doc Martens dorkus. Oh, Dr. Dorcas.

Oil resistant. I like it. Okay, I'll take it. But if he is from the part of the streetwear world. I didn't go to eight years of Dorcas Medical School. Thank you. If he is part of the streetwear world where people dress like sharp, like a lot of color coordination, a lot of fancy, complicated sneakers, a lot of big colors. And I've seen Ify once in a while in like some retro 90s kind of color block looks, but always a sharp put together look.

put together look. And there's this other part of street wear that is sort of like a descendant of norm core from five years ago where you just dress like a dirt bag from UC Santa Cruz in 2001. But like also all your clothes are kind of the same color. Like all they're all I think think it sort of also goes back to when Kanye West made an entire collection of clothes and they were all beige. Yeah.

Beige disc golf enthusiasts. Yeah, there's like, I have seen relatively little like khaki and beige colors, but I've seen a lot of like, like washed out, super washed out blue or dirty white.

Yeah. Yeah, that's the other end of the street wear spectrum. See, I'm right in the middle, but if anything, Like washed out, super washed out blue or dirty white. Yeah, that's the other end of the streetwear spectrum. See, I'm right in the middle. But if anything, I'm going towards the – I don't know if you've seen these guys, but the ones that look more like anime characters. Like that's the lane. And when you see me with like extra straps and buckles on my pants, that's where I'm going. They're always powering up for some reason. Yeah.

Yeah, they always like for some reason want to put a glow effect around them on their phone. Like, that's the lane I want to be in. These guys, they're dorks. I hate them every time. Because it is weird, like, because I do go to a lot of streetwear dorkus events because... What's an example of that? When you say streetwear

dorkus event? Oh, look, I'm so excited to talk about this. I went to SneakerCon. You go to SneakerCon? I missed SneakerCon because I was doing a festival with white women but I went to your sketch group. My comedy group, white women.

Not the group of women who happen to be white. People would be none the wiser, though. You do go to a lot of goop retreats. Yeah, yeah. I know. I've had to stop this in 2020.

I'm trying to be on the Antonio Brown No White Women 2020 plan, but that's not really working out as a black man in comedy. But, yeah, so I went to Complex Con, and it was in Long Beach, in the Long Beach Convention Center. And it was my first ComplexCon, but I did the show for Twitch called Fresh Stock where it was like a sneaker talk show. And so we were supposed to walk around the floor and check it out. And it's literally like a more expensive mall. expensive mall like you you like imagine like because you know when you go to like comic-con you have people you know buying comics but then you also have people meeting creators and you have people you know uh trying to get uh into panels imagine like the like capitalism side of

comic-con is way more heavier like there's way more lines to try and buy the exclusive things people are flipping things i waited too long in a line to buy these like Kyrie Irving shoes from Sneaker Room. And he had three pairs. And I'll always remember the amount of pairs because it all had a story to it because it was dedicated to his mom. They had roses and it said, I love mom because his mom died. And you, everyone has always known you love Kyrie Irving's mom. Yeah. mom died and you everyone's always know you love kairi irving's mom yeah well it wasn't even kairi irving's mom was the owner of the sneaker room this like third party sneaker and he made these

custom versions and it was uh it was uh 256 pairs because uh i forget the numbers i lied i thought i knew but all the numbers were significant to date so So like the one exclusive pair, the black ones, I think there were only 56 because that's how old her – no, it was more than that because 56 is pretty young. But that's – the first one was how old his mom was when she died. The date when she had her son and then the last one was like a large number. And the one like small order pair was like a grand and then the middle pair that was rare uh that was red was like normal price and but there were a few and then the last one there was a whole bunch that was white i got the white ones but the thing about sneakers is you never know how much it's going to resell for like you're playing a guessing game but it's

all different factors but the fact of the matter is this and this is what funny and i stick to this people might be like that's not true but it's so true so the one black pair the most exclusive limited one went for one thousand dollars and my theory is the reason that the resale stayed so low is because people use mom's credit card to buy the $1,000 pair. So they had to flip it immediately. And a lot of times if you want to make money with sneakers, you have to hold it for a bit. Like mine, I bought for $100 and something. I was able to sell it for $350.

But the Reds were going for a bit more, like $500. My friend Dallas Penn is like an old-timey streetwear guy. He was in a gang, a real gang, I mean a New York gang, so they were more robbing than murdering. Oh, that's good. But he was in

How many robberies for every murder would you say? Three to one, four to one? I mean when Bloomberg was in office, we'll get started. Oh, that's our boy! That's our boy! Every time we mention our boy, Brian rings the bell. Ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding! He can still surprise you. Yeah, he could. So he was in... He's from New York. He was in this gang called the Decepts for Decepticons. This is like the late 80s. Okay. And he and his buddies would – I think I know who their mortal enemies are.

Yeah. He and his buddies would rob Macy's for polo. Like they were all about polo, everything, polo, polo, polo, polo. And he is now like – I guess he's about 50-ish, Dallas is. And like he is like the old man king of sneaker dorks and like his I follow his Instagram his Instagram is like bananas with these sneaker people but one of the things that I I thought was a true triumph of sneakering was he had on his Instagram a picture there from him going to a sneaker con in New York.

And it was a huge thing. You know, you could see it was like a whole convention center, thousands of people or whatever, right? And Dallas had like broken his ankle or something. I can't remember what he broke, but he messed up his leg. So he was on crutches. So he was wearing Jordans on his feet. I mean, one of his feet was in a boot or something, but he was wearing Jordans. And then he had baby Jordans on his crutches.

Oh, right. That matched the Jordans that he was wearing on his feet. And I was like, you know what, Dallas? Hat tip to you, my friend. Well played, well managed. But this is the thing that I saw at the flea market today besides the set of teens all wearing Air Force Ones, which they like lows, by the way. They look like low-top Air Force Ones.

And it goes with every outfit that just is like office dad 1997, which is a big aesthetic right now. But I saw a real office dad from 1997. Now, in his late 50s is what would be my guess. He was walking away from me. He was wearing what they call a dad cap, which is to say

an unstructured cotton cap. Right. And it had a Velcro strap. And then on the Velcro strap, he was, again, walking away from me, so I had a full view of this, was a pager

in a leather pager container, pleather pager container, pleather pager container. What to do to die today. Red leather, yellow leather. A pleather pager container attached to the strap of his baseball cap. Amazing. The clip was on the strap of his baseball cap. Amazing. The clip was on the strap of his baseball cap. And this was not a man. This was not a man with an ironic pager.

He must have been an ER doctor. Who else still has a pager in 2020? Like someone who has a weird government contract of some kind that requires- It could be a real-life Breaking Bad, where he's trying to stay off the grid. Maybe he needs a burner. Or maybe it's Dr. Dorcus. Oh!

Raging Dr. Dorcus. Hello! I'm listening. I got a comic book stuck in my brain. Dr. Dorcus. But it was a truly magical sight, this man. That's great. With his pager attached to the back of his head on the strap of his baseball cap.

And I thought, this is some shit. Ify, you got some shows. You got Twitch shows and shit. Let's get this going. Let's make this happen. You're going to have to wear the cap backwards so people can see the pager on camera. Oh, I thought you were pitching to find this man like no no searching for sugar man look before i stream overwatch i just want to plea to my watchers i have a i have a menswear empire we'll get to overwatch in just

a second i can do a little bit but it's only going to be so effective with my community of uh men who argue about whether or not sport coats should have darts. Right. So I'm going to need Ify to put it on Twitch, which is where teens live. Oh, yeah. And I think between the two of us, and Julia, if you could tell fellow ska enthusiasts about it.

Yeah, they're teens. Yeah. They never grew out of being 13. Jordan, if you could get your swim team on board. Sure. Paige are in the pool. Yeah. Just stuff it down the front of your trunk so it'll make it look like you have a giant weird dick. That's cool.

Yeah. I like that. Sure. That's fun. I don't think you'll have to badger the ska community too hard to do something, to wear an ironic piece of clothing. No, no, no. They are looking for a mission at any time. Sure.

They are a theater troupe without a production. Or a flash mob with no ideas. Dancing in the streets already taken. Oh, boy. What are we going to do? Julia, have you two ever had a pager in your life? No. No.

The closest I got was two-way pagers were popping when we were in middle school. No, the closest I got was two-way pagers were popping when we were in middle school. And my – like my stepsister got her, now looking back on it, boyfriend who was way too old to buy her a two-way pager. And I was so jealous because I wanted one. Yeah. That is the dream. What kind did she get that – The see-through one? Yeah, exactly.

It was that classic aesthetic of the? The see-through one? Yeah, exactly. It was that classic aesthetic of the clear see-through plastic. And she would just be on it and I'd want it so bad. That's the dream lifestyle. What about you, Julia? No, I was too young for it and I was raised by a single mom who was like, please. And so I actually had to wait until high school to get the brick Nokia phone. And so I actually had to wait until high school to get the brick Nokia phone. But once I got it in my hand, baby, it was snake two all the time.

And freaking out about text message rates. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. It so stays. Pagers were an important technology for first responders. Yes. But otherwise were very terrible technology.

I mean, they were better than not having pagers. Like, if you needed to be reached. And if you wanted to just text someone boobs. Boobs, that's good. That's a fun way to. Yeah, we did that with calculators. We did the boobless thing. 143, 187. Oh, yeah.

We all know. You got to have your pager code to identify who's calling, who's paging. Sure. Got to have that code in there. Yeah, I got a pager in eighth grade, which was the only time I ever in childhood had a technology thing that my peers wanted and didn't have. Like my friends all had Sega Genesis's four years before I saved up birthday money over four years to buy one for myself and that kind of thing. I do, you know, computers and all these kinds of things were things that my peers had better versions of than me universally or that I my parents couldn't afford.

But I would I took the in middle school. I took the regular I took the BART, the subway to school. And so by myself. So my mom wanted to be able to reach me. But my dad thought it would make me look like a drug dealer. Yeah. So he wasn't sure about it. He was somewhat opposed to it. He thought I would get jumped for being a drug dealer and looking like I had money on me.

Yeah, without looking at your face, which I'm sure did not project a drug dealer. Did he take into account every other thing about you? Yeah, truly. I was pretty gully at the time. Okay. We mentioned standing in line for sneakers. Oh, yeah. And it reminded me of something that I've been wanting to bring up on the show.

A few months back, I told a now classic Jordan Jesse Go story about going to Universal Studios and riding the Jurassic Park ride via the solo rider line. And a lot of people said that was brave and inspirational. I haven't said that. Right. That's not something that you would say about yourself. No, others have. In the community, I've seen a lot of people printing, like transcribing it, printing it

out, gilding the printout. it, printing it out, gilding the printout. I think having, printing it out, then giving it to a monk to transcribe, to transliterate and illuminate. So they will be

adding gold leaf. They will be adding beautiful Gothic text and so on. The carbon footprint of your courage and bravery has outstretched the globe. That's true. But I do have a reusable coffee mug. That's great.

And a lot of people are saying that's brave. A lot of people are saying that. That is brave. I'm not saying it. You bring that into a WeWork, you're a hero. Sure. You know what I'm getting you for your birthday? A pager.

Because just like a first responder, you're a real hero. That's true. That's true that's true uh i so i told this story about going on this in the solo rider line to going by myself to an amusement park to ride the jurassic park ride and you know amongst all the people saying that it was brave and it was inspirational again i haven't said that i would never say that but people were saying that uh people were telling me uh that it reminded it reminded them of the of the antics of julia prescott who is famous for solo theme park attendance i am you've even gone viral for solo theme park attendance i have and it has in a way ruined uh any kind of mention like every time i time I've gone to Disneyland and Universal alone since, and now I feel self-conscious broadcasting it in any way.

This is the prison I've created for myself. Sure, sure. But yeah, I went viral on a day where I got rejected from a writing job. And it hurt especially because I was told, and I've been told this many times It was the life story of the guy from the Mighty Mighty Bostons who just dances

You're like, I'm the one to tell this story I know, I was there, I taught him the moves I know Dickie Barrett No I'd been told I was a close second and cried in the Glendale Galleria and then decided I was going to go to Disneyland alone. So I did that and then I live tweeted my journey. And then while I was at Disneyland alone, I got rejected from a second thing I didn't see coming.

And that's when the day took a turn. Where were you in Disneyland when you got that second email? What were you? I just walked into California Adventure and I was on their 1920s Main Street and I got a devastating email. And then I immediately took a selfie because the day immediately got absurd. And I love that selfie because you can see in the background a woman really giving me the stink eye for even living. And so all of it is captured.

And then I remembered that you can drink in California Adventure. So I did that. And so had a good time by myself when you're when you're looking to to drown your sorrows in california adventure what what are the alcohol options available to you oh man there are so many and if you can uh catch them during their made- up bullshit food and wine festival that seems to be going on six months out of the year. Um, they have so many options, just, they hand you little cups of wine. Um, but you could go, if you're in that main 1920s area, there's a very nice, uh, restaurant called the Carthay Circle restaurant that you can go and imbibe in their bar. But I wasn't fancy like that.

So you can go to the boardwalk and get like a beer or a margarita and just like, you know, have yourself a good old-fashioned good time. And there's a boardwalk? Yeah, there's a boardwalk. There's a whole part that you're from Bay Area. They try to emulate the Bay Area there. And so you can go. On the boardwalk? Yeah. Yeah, they've got like a whole part that you're from Bay Area. They try to emulate the Bay Area there. And so you can go. On the boardwalk?

Yeah. Yeah, they've got like a whole, it's like a. Is there a beach? Is it like Santa Cruz themed? I mean, kind of. There's no beach. Pixar Pier. Pixar Pier.

Pixar Pier. I think back when California Adventure was supposed to be, you know, a trip through California. Yeah. Right. Because that's where you used to be able to see a world of color. Oh, wow. Wait, what was that?

A world of color. That's good. That's really good. Where did Ify go and how did Elder Barg get in here? While you were doing that, Brian was outside the booth and he had one headphone on

and when you did that, he just gave a thumbs up. It's a hit. Yeah. Mr. Barry Gordy, I think we've got to sign those checks. Yeah. No, I remember that was a big thing was that because so I was a cast member and then I was dating. Oh, that's right.

Yeah, yeah. I was dating like one of the plaids, which is the. Hold on. That was a job I always wanted. We need more information. So if you're a Disney employee, even if you work at like the Disney store in the mall, you are a cast member, right? Like you're not an employee. You're not a –

I will say I was a cast member too. What? I was a cast member. I went to Chapman University. It was a requirement to graduate pretty much. And I worked in the rainforest cafe gift shop so i was a safari guide in downtown disney but i still had to go to the orientation for all of the parks and i was actually a little bummed because i wanted to either be a platter um a jungle cruise skipper

obviously sure um but they don't even audition them so that's a whole other podcast we don't need to get into i'm not bitter about it it's not like I have an idea for a documentary where I go do that for a month. It's just like we can talk about it later. I want it to be a jet because once you're a jet. I mean, you're a jet all the way. Yeah. There's stability. Jordan was a Decepticon.

Right, right, right. Yeah, no, there was the whole hierarchy. I talked about this before. But yeah, like if you're just like a regular CM, a cast member, like you're doing ride operations or food, just like whatever. But then after like the ranking went there, then you had like the supervisors, then you had the characters. Like if you – like the top of the cream of the crop was a princess. If you were a princess and people would gush if like a princess talked to them right and then um but like yeah if you were a plaid or one of the audition roles like interventions you were also up there and then it just were hierarchy so there was that

huge hierarchy so it was like wait so high on the list was interventions just like somebody that rides a segue in a circle well because also it's it's like it's both based on like how cool your job was and also how much money you made. And since you auditioned for interventions, you made more money. And auditioning, I think, puts you up to a top tier. Yeah. Yeah. But so there was this huge hierarchy and then like the managers would wear these black trench coats. You remember?

And they would mob out. And so like there was this like stone-faced hierarchy. And then I got hired for the L. And so like, there was this like stone faced hierarchy. And then I got hired for the LA County register recorder, started making salary. And that hierarchy just crumbled right in front of me. Cause it's like, no, I make big boy money now.

I don't care about any of this. So what's a plaid when you, I don't guess. I don't know that. They're a tour guide. So if you ever see like celebrities that go to the park, they hire a plaid and it costs like, I think it changes per what you want for them like for the day.

But it's like a couple grand just like minimum. But they get you fast passes for all the rides that you want to go to and they guide you around the park and sneak you around if you're a known entity. Oh, sure. Yeah, like the way other cast members would tell how famous someone was if you couldn't see them is how many plaids they had. Because if you're just somebody with a lot of money, you'll have one. But if you're a celebrity, you'll have two or more. So it was really cool.

How many would DeBarge from El DeBarge have? I think he'd get five. Yeah, that's a five plaid. That's a five plaid. Just all around in a circle so nobody can get him. Yeah, that's a five platter. That's a five platter. That's a five platter. Just all around him like a circle so nobody can get him. Step away from DeBarge. He just wants to ride Big Thunder Mountain.

Yeah. Yeah, but it was a big thing, that transition from California to old California. And it was like the Carthay Circle because the big thing was like that's where Disney first came when he was in L.A. Right. Sure. I remember back then i was thinking it was so cool but now that i live in la i was like oh you could just drive here and not pay disney prices for food and drink this is the real thing i want to say something really quick about going to disneyland alone that has like opened up my experience of disneyland and i've been going my whole life because i grew up out here and um full disclosure, my mom's always worked for the Disney company. So, you know, she was a single mom with two kids, didn't have any money, but Disneyland was free.

So we got to go all the time because of that. But I, when I started going alone, because I was freelancing more and whatever, the moment I popped in either a podcast or music and walked around the park by myself, oh, my God. It just elevated it to a point of, like, just not even being aware of the families crumbling around you and, like, listening to really anything. Like, the worst podcast would be delightful. If I can write that, I don't know if anyone in here has gotten the AirPod Pro, but I was on a mission to get it the other day because I forgot my Beats Pro. And I was like, I should have two anyway. I should have my everyday. You're going to need AirPods Pro and Beats Pro.

Yeah. You're not a fucking amateur. But I park at the Glendale Gallery, walk through Loud Laudis Glendale Galleria, which we have to revisit because- Guys, I have to pause this. Both of you have brought up the Glendale Galleria. Have you not listened to Jordan Jesse? Don't we talk about the Grove? I am clearly Americana, a Glendale Galleria partisan.

Wow. Okay. There's some outdoor mall biases coming out. Yeah, and I will say, because there's that one Americana memes Twitter, and I'm like, actually, it's classist. The Glendale Galleria slaps harder, and it's for the people. I am so glad. Listen, I am so glad you brought up the Americana memes Twitter account because, listen, all respect to them and what they do for the community, account because, listen, all respect to them and what they do for the community, but I have unfollowed because their hatred, and I will call it hatred, to the Glendale Galleria,

which is a goddamn institution. You got to understand, I had a single mom, but I also had a weekend dad, all right? And the Glendale Galleria is a weekend dad's paradise, okay? Can I just say, one time my Microsoft Surface stopped working. It was three years old. I went to the Glendale Galleria that has a Microsoft counter and they were like, well, we can just give you another one. That's a great plus for the Glendale Galleria.

Also, I'm now kind of taken aback because I see that I am following in the footsteps of your own weekend dad taking my daughter to the Glendale. It is something to be proud of. Let me tell you. Some of my favorite childhood memories was just me, my dad and my sister, my dad going you wanna go window shopping?

And I was like, fuck yeah we do. And you gotta understand too, at the time there was a WB store. You wanna smell the Auntie Anne stand? I wanna smell the Auntie Anne stand. You can have a nice smell. Yeah, go through, was it Suncoast Video and just like browse and not buy? Ooh, this CD is $22.99. It must be really good.

I love it now. I write in malls. I love it. I can't even do the guilty dad thing of buying Naomi things because she's such a pure child of where like I took her to a Barnes and Noble. I was like, get it, whatever you want, whatever. And she like looked at the book in the store. She was like, okay, no, I don't want it, Dad. And I was like, oh, look, Dad's a writer.

Next year, I may not – you might not be able to get any books. Dad, get the windows. Dad is working now. Dad's working now and we got to see how it goes. Naomi, get yourself some French GQs while you still can. Go to the doctor a lot. Go to the doctor a lot now. Please.

Because dad has health insurance points. Have you seen that stand at the Glendale Gallery and maybe they have this at other malls where you can get an image printed on a plaque of wood. I did that for you. I did that for my story about going to the Universal Studios alone. And a lot of people are saying that's how they like to read it the best. I haven't said that.

A lot of people are saying that. You guys know Brendan McGowan? Comedian, writer extraordinaire. Sounds great. Super funny. Follow him on Twitter. I don't like the sound of him. He is obsessed with the movie Gaudi, as we all were when it came out.

And so for his- Gotti, John Travolta, John Gotti. Yes. John Gotti biopic. We all are obsessed with Gotti. And for his birthday, my husband Mike and I were walking around the Clemville Galleria, and then we were trying to find a gift for him and trying to figure out something fun and creative. And then we turned a corner find a gift for him and trying to figure out something fun and

creative and then we turned a corner and saw the print an image on a wood plaque and so we got the idea to just print Gotti lives like the most horrendous font and it was oh I

mean I think it's on his mantle it just is a prize he'll treasure forever the for people who don't live in Southern California the Americana at brand is a lot like – Paris?

France? Is a lot – What heaven is described like in the Bible? Is a lot like the Grove. I thought heaven didn't have a name. They're both developed by the same mega developer who's one of the richest people in Los Angeles. His name's Rick Caruso. Yeah, I was going to say Caruso.

Some talk about that he may run for mayor. But anyway, these two are like relatively high-end outdoor malls. So they have developed semi-public spaces. And they also, Rick Caruso is obsessed with streetcars. So they both have streetcars. Yeah. That take you the... Trollies.

Yeah, trolleys that take you the two blocks from one end of the mall to the other. The Glendale Galleria is in the same place as the Americana at Brand. It's across the street, and it's a much more traditional 1989 mall experience. Oh, yeah. It's evolved over time. It has a Gold's Gym now. I work out in that Gold's Gym. There's nothing more awkward than coming out

sweaty and in a stringer where my nipple is out. A bunch of teens going to Blaze Pizza. A mom giving her daughter bad news at the Panera. You're like, what's up? Is that a good place to get bad news? Yes. Bad news, you're at the Panera? Yeah, yeah. You're like, what's up? What's up? Is that a good place to get bad news? Yes.

Bad news. You're at a Panera. Oh, fuck. A sandwich is going to cost $20. Oh. But what I did, what I was originally going to say is the noise cancellation on the iPad Pro. Right, right, right. So I went through the Glendale Galleria, through the Americana, just loud.

It really felt like a commercial because I get in and I was like, I just need to put these on. And I popped them in and I forgot that they had the noise cancellation. And it just went silent. And I was like, oh, I can be in public now. I can be around people. It's a game changer. Oh, yeah. Just seeing the people yelling at each other in an outdoor mall and you're like, no, no.

yelling at each other in an outdoor mall. And you're like, no, no. And also one other factor I wanted to say in the comparison between the Grove and the Americana is they both have gigantic cheesecake factories. They do. They do. They really do. Just unnaturally large cheesecake factories. And right next to that, I feel like they both have Barnes and Nobles. Yeah.

And movie theaters within the same distance of each other. But for some reason, I just don't care for the Grove. Why is that? Julia, I think we've established that you were a mall teen in your time. Yes, I was. Me too. I was about to say, Ify, were you a mall teen? I would go to the mall so early in the summer that I'd be waiting with the old people jogging to wait for – With the mall walkers.

Yeah, yeah, the mall walkers to wait for Toon Planet to open so I can join the Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament. Yes. Oh, wow. Yeah. I was downy. You know, it's Stonewood Mall and downy. Never let me down. Have you been back to the Stonewood Mall and Downey. Never let me down. Have you been back to the Stonewood Mall? Oh, yeah, it's horrible.

I don't know what I saw in it. I was like, this is bad. I think you saw a little something called a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament. Well, because, you know, there's the two mall types where it's like one full circle. There's Yu-Gi-Oh malls and Pokemon malls. Pokemon malls, please. And, of course, Digimon Farmer's Market. I mean, that's a subsection.

Yeah. If you want farm-to-table Digimon. They are the champions. Yeah. I'm going to presume that's a Digimon reference. I also know Bakugan is something. I know none of this. I'm enjoying myself.

It's fun. It's fun. Listen, that's the show. Just say things. Who cares? Well, I also want to say while we're on the topic of malls and theme parks to kind of bridge the two, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that. So I host a monthly Simpsons trivia show, Jordan's Gone, Stonecutters LA. All are welcome.

We do it first Saturday of the month at the Lyric Hyperion Theater. It's a good time. Sometimes we'll have Simpsons people, Gaston, whatever. But I will say, I think it's like for the last year and a half, I have developed the nickname the Young Pope of City Walk

because I believe that Universal City Walk is LA's Vatican City and I am its young pope. And so I just want to take this time to have a moment of silence for our fallen brother, the Hard Rock. The Hard Rock Cafe is no longer. Wow. Just a moment. Universal CityWalk, for people who don't live in Southtown, is like a low-rent downtown Disney, which is the thing that stretches out from Disneyland.

It was there first, but yes. It stretches out from Universal Studios. Hydrox was first. Oreo followed. A lot of people don't know that. Hydrox was first. And where are they now? And there's just a lot of shifty-looking teens there, I would say.

That's one of the top categories of people. People who just wandered out of Universal Studios. That's a big category. People who are just trying to go to the movies. And, of course, John Lovitz, who's there to attend to his comedy club. Which is no longer there. Saddle Ranch, too. I know.

Ripperoni. But that's been just rotating out year after year. There was a hot second in the John Lovitz. For brief, there was a John Lovitz comedy club at Universal CityWalk. I performed there. Okay. Wow. Okay.

It was tropical themed. Yes. There were lots of photos of John Lovitz in like an Aloha shirt, you know, on billboards where he clearly had a photo shoot, but no one did his makeup. Yeah. And there were props on stage. There was like a pair of flip flops that look like someone had just discarded them. And there was a really terrible mural of a sunset and a whale like diving into the water behind you as you tried to do stand up. Right. So how do you not do like talking about the room in that situation?

Yeah, I was going to say, I don't know what it is with valley comedy and wanting props on the stage. Well, you go to Flappers, they have the whole like bench and the light, you know, that's a club in Burbank. Sorry. If you don't live in southern california this is a regional interest podcast for a while for a while uh what else are we going to talk about coronavirus get out of here for a time there was a the the kevin smith smodcast podcast

network was based at the john Lovitz Comedy Club. Oh, that was so that was what I for in its death throes. It was the John Lovitz Comedy Club and a podcast theater. Oh, wow. And I like the idea that they're like, this will save it. They were like, wait, Jensen Karp did a podcast with Jesse Thorne and Bun B and we didn't monetize it. Did that happen? Yeah, that happened.

At the CityWalk? I did it at the John Lovitz. It's the only time I've ever been to Universal CityWalk. One time I went there to go to the John Lovitz Comedy Club to do a podcast with past Jordan Jesse Goh, guest Jensen Karp, and Bun B called in. Oh, I love it.

I was like, this is great. You should go to CityWalk more often. Yeah, I was going to creep in and say Universal silently slaps. I think it slapped harder when you were able to get a year free with the Coke can. Then they got the Harry Potter line and got big for their bridges. They got cocky. So I grew up in North Hollywood and there was one year where they just gave everybody in my area or in my zip code a free pass for a year. And I only found out about it until a couple months later.

Cause my mom recycled it. And I was mad at her for like six months. It was like an ongoing fight. I was like, I could be on Jurassic park right now, mom. Yeah. Universal studios of the,

you know, of the, of the theme parks are, you know, it, it has a weekend dad energy. It has a love me, I'm sorry. I don't, what do you?

What do you want? People love Harry Potter town. I do think, if I am with you, and I do think it silently slaps, I think that there's a lot of fun stuff at Universal. Shh, shh, shh. I think I heard it slapping.

No, it wasn't slappingpping I can just make it out every time a theme park slaps yeah yeah Hard Rock Cafe closes down oh yeah that's surprisingly accurate I have a I don't know if I'm speaking out of school here I know this podcast

has been a real excuse the pun rollercoaster yeah and I know this podcast has been a real, excuse the pun, rollercoaster. Yeah. And I know this is going to change the timber of the show going forward, but I think I, now it seems like the time to bring this up.

If not now, when? I have a good friend, I won't say her name, who is a universal tour guide. So, you know, she's kind of privy to all the kind of comings and goings and the gossip. It's Dame Judi Dench. It's Dame Judi Dench.

Good in everything, even on the Universal tram. So I was talking to Jude, Judy. Hey, Jude. Hey, Jude, I said. Apparently, the Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville is not long for this world. Wow. Wow. Yeah.

That's really sad. It's not – people don't – people aren't – attendance is not what they wanted. And also I think there's a move for Universal to kind of brand everything with their properties. So I think between those two things, it is... The secret life of pets. The secret life of pets. It's soon going to be the secret life of pets cruise. Do you think that people who would have been the customers

figured out that they weren't in an airport? Yeah, I think people were confused and they were looking for... I'm deeply saddened by this news. Yeah. Because my husband Mike just celebrated his 40th birthday there. Wow. And I'm not – It's the official restaurant of 40th birthdays.

It really is. I'm not surprised by this news because we about the Universal CityWalk Orlando and how sprawling it is and how one time I saw a Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville employee on stilts who was lost. Where's my car? You truly haven't lived until you've seen someone lost on stilts they can't ask anyone for direction oh just holding a cheeseburger looking for paradise yeah okay let's take a quick break we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Force Gundam pilot. Ooh. Damn, I wish I went better than Dr. Dorcus. I saw that your social media was very Gundam heavy today. I only barely know what a Gundam is. That's like a Robotech, right?

Yeah. That's Gundams. Those are Gundams. It's more of an Evangelion, but sure. Okay. Sure. Yeah. Wait, what's a Robotech if it's not a Gundam?

Well, the Robotech turns into jets if I remember correctly. Yeah, that's right. I had that Transformers that was just a Robotech. Yeah. The Gundams,

they're just always humanoid giant robots like an Evangelion. Like an Evangelion. So I started watching. It's actually really good. Have you finished? I, boy, every,

every, so I started, I tried to get into Neon Genesis Evangelion probably five times in my life. It's like, all right, now's the time. I'm going to like it this time. Oh, boy. I can't wait to hear those constant locust noises.

Is this a video game? This is a beloved anime series that I think is maybe like the – you probably know more about this than I do. It's on a lot of people's top ten list. It's like there was a divide and I'm going to put the line in the sand right here. It's when you were a kid, a young kid in the anime, you either watched DBZ and that sent you on your anime path or Neon Genesis Evangelion. And I remember sitting – I started watching it last night and I was like, oh, I could see why a lot of people didn't get into this. And also I could see why all of the kids who got into this are pretentious

dorks. Yeah, let's go beat up some neon Genesis Evangelion. That might be the hottest take that's ever been on this show. Ify, what are your are there, this is a i i really wonder about a lot besides like grave of the fireflies what is an anime someone who's curious about anime but is not

into animes could watch and also that person is an adult uh i would go with one punch man one punch man yeah because it's a comedy anime that doesn't take itself too seriously and it like surrounds superheroes so it's a concept that you can grasp you know so you're like oh i get this this is a world if uh there were professional superheroes i just learned that there were animes about baseball players oh there's all so many sports anime Eyeshield 21, which is a football one. Why do they all have these names? Why is it translated from another language?

So are many popular books. They don't have these crazy names. Yeah, it'd be weird if the Diary of Anne Frank was translated into like, I, Frank, 27,000. And she was also a robot.

Yeah. But yeah, there's a cooking anime, Food Wars. There's like an anime of every, anything you could think of that might be just an ancillary hobby. There's an anime about it. Oh, I would like to watch a philately anime. All right. I'll get on it. I'll talk to Quaker.

Oh, got to get that upside down airplane stamp. Yeah. Oh. But yeah, no. It'll give you great power. I think One Punch Man's a good one. And even like you can try some of the American, like the Castlevania one, I think a lot of people would dig.

Oh, I watched a couple of those Castlevanias. I had a hot second where I was real into the Castlevania timeline. That's the tragedy of the Belmont family. Right. Of course. And I am like, oh, there into the Castlevania timeline. Yeah. The tragedy of the Belmont family. Right, of course. And I am like, oh, there's a Castlevania show? I thought it was pretty good, and I am real hot and cold on what anime I like. I'm like, this looks really cool, and it's

kind of funny, and the jokes kind of work in it. Anyway, I will probably finish it. Anyway. Yeah. New season. Start this weekend. Hey, we're going to take some calls. But I think because we have, you know, a huge MaxFun hotbox here, we should mention the MaxFun Drive starts next week. That's the annual, let's say, let's call it a holiday. Yeah.

A festival. Yeah. A festival of lights. International Women's Day can be a holiday. Yeah. I mean, they'll get the holiday and everything. What more can we give these broads? Thank you.

Yeah, you already got a couple of Star Wars movies. What more do you want? I don't celebrate International Women's Day. I drew the line at Arbor Day. Right, of course. Trees, yes. That's a living organism. Yeah.

Sure. I mean, and what is a woman but a really brave tree? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's really good. Bravo. A lot of people were saying that was very brave.

I'm not saying. Deciduous or evergreen? I mean, that's a whole other podcast. I think they're all beautiful. Coniferous, if you know what I mean. Ba-boom. Oh, look at the jugs on that tree. Ba-boom.

Because, yes. I can't wait for a forest fire so it can release its heat. Only you can prevent it, am I right? So, the Max Fudd Drive is almost here. Next week. Every year we dedicate 11 days to listing all the things we know about trees. Right. You can support this bad show and other good shows.

Yeah. Yeah. So, kind of, you know, there's special episodes. And if you donate, there's bonus content, cool prizes. We, for our bonus episode, recorded a Jordan and Jesse Go drinking game where we did not know the rules. Yeah, we had the listeners make the rules and send them to Brian. Brian put together a cheat sheet. He also brought in our business colleague, Daniel Baruella, and the two of them had bells and lists.

And every time they heard us break one of the rules, they'd ring the bell and we would have to drink. And Jordan and Ben Harrison from Greatest Generation were drinking tepid Bud Light seltzer. I'll go ahead and say they were hot. Tepid's generous. And Brian made his first ever trip to a dispensary in his entire life. Brian is a non-drinker and a non-drug user. But he went, because he's a professional, he went to a dispensary to buy me two marijuana sodas. Oh, yeah.

Those are really potent. Sprigs? They were, I don't remember what kind were they. They're not Sprigs. Yeah. One was a hoppy soda. That was less gross than I expected. The second one, which I finished about half of.

I drank about one and a half of these things. The second one was a root beer that was truly excreble. It could not have tasted worse. It was horrible. So yeah, I think if you want to play along with the drinking game, Brian, will you post the rules to the drinking game somewhere for people to see? Yeah, we're going to post

all the list of what we were working from. Awesome. So yeah, please tag us on social media if you're getting fucked up to the Jordan-Jesse-Go drinking game. How about you guys' MaxFun podcast? Do you guys have special episodes, bonus content that people should check out? Yeah. Allie, Ertz, and I, we recorded a special episode with Denise and Karma, who are behind

the Twitter handle Simpsonsology, and they are both college professors who both individually and together, I think sometimes, I don't know, they wrote a couple books together talking about The Simpsons through a very academic lens, and they teach college courses about The Simpsons, so we talked to them about that. What more could you want? And Ify, you just watched Cats. Yeah, ours was not as

intense. It's Drea, Alonzo, and I sit down with Joey Clift to watch through the original, the staged video play, and the new reboot and review them both and give our thoughts. Did you go to the rowdy screening? Oh, you know we went to the rowdy screening. That was, Rum Tum Tugger is my favorite.

Jason Derulo killed it. He killed it. He really did. I thought it was great. I cried in Cats. That's not a bit. At which point? I saw it opening weekend.

I mean, obviously during Memory. Oh, yes. But I got a little weepy before that. It's interesting. I don't know if everyone in this room has seen Cats, the movie. I haven't seen Cats, so please, no spoilers. I know. I'm sorry.

I understand this thing hinges entirely on plot. Right. I understand. Oh, the twists that this takes. Oh, it's a puzzle box. I will say- A taut puzzle box. I will say two things. Number one, nothing prepares you for the first time you see a cat.

Nothing. You think you know, and you truly don't. And secondly, another reason why I got weepy is that you, at least for me, I got consumed by the world of cats. I forgot I was watching cats kind of ironically. I was very invested in Victoria the kitten story and I wanted her to befriend all of the cats she needed to befriend because that was the whole movie.

Oh, yeah. I'd give the same like pre-talk to someone seeing cats as I would someone doing shrooms, which is like, don't fight against it. Yeah. Just let it take over. Spend some time in nature. Enjoy the trip. Just sit there and enjoy it. Don't eat. Have a banana. Have some water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have somebody take care of you, designated.

And it's strong, so sometimes just watch half the movie. Yeah, just a little micro. Just a micro. Two hours of the movie. After you watched Cats, you went over to the next camp and got your taint blasted. Isn't that right? Yes, exactly. That was, you know, I watched it nude. I think I'm going to go.

No, don't. There's more stories about my taint. Okay, I want to mention one other Max Fund Drive thing. On the 27th, which is a Friday, from 4 to 6 Pacific, 7 to 9 Eastern, is the Max Fund Drive live grand finale show. This is always a great time. I'm going to be – are you guys – are all three of you going to be there? Yes, I believe so. Yeah, so it's going to be a really great time. It will be live streaming at MaximumFun.org.

It's going to be a really great time. It will be live streaming at MaximumFun.org. And Renee from Can I Pay Your Dog and I will be starting rehearsal this week on our musical number. Oh, fantastic. I don't know if you've heard. There's a lot of buzz around Little Shop of Horrors lately. Obviously, there's always buzz about it, especially the 1998 production at School of the Arts in San Francisco. Sure.

A lot of people say that's the definitive production. Yeah. I mean, you had Nick Dote in there. Sure. Yeah. I'm a Dote devotee, so I... Sure.

I was ecstatic when I saw him. And so she and I are going to be doing one of the duets in the show. Oh. And I'm not going to reveal too much about it,

but I will say that our office manager, KT, she's a big wig in the Los Angeles roller derby community. Real shocking that our office manager would be into roller derby. KT's a big wig in the roller derby community, and she used a few of her roller derby connections because she had to get a wig and a particular dress and some very large red heels. Great. I'm not going to reveal anything else about what's going to happen at the show, but KT really came through and I think it's going to be a great performance. I think it's going to be a great performance.

Wait. No. I think it's going to be a – I don't want to raise expectations. It's going to be a great performance. I think it's going to be a great performance. Wait. No. I think it's going to be a – I don't want to raise expectations. It's going to be a performance. Yes. We can all agree. Yes. Yes.

So watch that. Friday the 27th, the last day of the MaxFunDrive. But anyway, everybody should become a member of MaxFun. Yeah. It's a good time. You get some cool stuff. Yeah. When something momentous happens to you, like you become a member of Maximum Fun.

How about that? That's an example. That's a great thing to celebrate. We ask you to call us and share it with us for our segment, Momentous Occasions. 206-984-4FUN is the telephone number. Or best way to do it these days, hit up your voicemail app, email it to jjgoe at MaximumFun.org. It's that easy. JJ Go is the initials of our show.

MaximumFun.org is our website. This person did that thing. Brian, press play on the thing that they did. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. I'm calling because I have a momentous occasion. Today, I had a meeting with the chair of my city council and my state representative. I had to bring along my seven-month-old son for various reasons. And when he got hungry, I popped him on the boob, and it was great.

And I made some big strides toward getting better OB care for women in my area. Anyway, thanks. Yeah, that's a badass power move. Getting involved in local government. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. Dumping them out.

Yeah. Reclaiming her time. Dumping it out, I guess. Oh, yeah. Dumping it out. I guess you didn't dump both of them out. Anyway. How do boobs work?

What is boobs a friend of mine a friend of mine from college named suly uh suly her last name now she's married is sorrow s-a-r-o no that's not correct uh sorry she she is running she ran for city council in long beach, California, a pretty large city here in the Los Angeles area. And I just looked up and saw that she had finished. She had placed first. She did not get more than 50 percent of the vote, so she will be headed to a runoff. But she kicked the shit out of the incumbent who got 30 percent. Wow, cool. She got about 45% to his 30%.

And I was so pumped that I was ready to move to Long Beach to take advantage of patronage jobs. Yeah. I was like, what can I get out of this? Sure. I've never known anyone with any power of any kind. You could be on the parade council. Exactly.

My friend who is a likely city council member in Long Beach. You can litter as you please. I'm like, can you get me on the Queen Mary for free? That's pretty good. Can you get me Aquarium of the Pacific membership? But you know what? This is also a regional specific thing. You can already get free Aquarium of the Pacific membership or admittance

with your LA Public Library call. That's where my prom was. Really? At the Aquarium of the Pacific. Did you go to a high school for sharks? On that same note, my prom was at the... I have a Pixar movie to write.

Excuse me. My prom was at have a pixar movie to write excuse me well my prom is at the california science center so we can combine forces on this and have it be the botanical and the underwater oh yeah no i remember uh it was um it was a there there's two things that uh stood out to me about my prom at the aquarium one for some reason they did not turn the lights on for the fish so like they were like oh it's at this it's at this aquarium but One, for some reason they did not turn the lights on for the fish. So they were like, oh, it's at this aquarium, but you can't look at the fish. And two... You can smell them, though. It's like being in Jumbo's

clown room. You can't touch the one you just... Now that is a very specific local room. That is, that is. And also for people that are, you know, Courtney Love fans, and they'll know her biography. Sure, people who do the Courtney Love fantasy tour when they come to LA. I mean, I guide it.

Like I said, I wanted to be a plaid, so it didn't matter what kind. Yeah. Jumbo's Clown Room is a local bar slash strip club that's like famously... It's a cabaret bar, technically. Yeah. Down market, but also like... Fun for everybody. It's a cabaret bar technically. Yeah. Down market but also like – Fun for everybody. It is.

Hip. Yeah. Hip. But yeah. But then the second thing I remember is I walked in. First off, my mom picked out my prom date because she was afraid. She was afraid. She was like, you're taking too long to find this prom date.

She picked out your prom date? Yeah. She was afraid that I was like you're taking too long to find it she picked out your prom date yeah she was afraid i thought you were gonna say shoes no no my corsage no no she she found like a family friend too of like for me to take the prom because she was so afraid that i just wasn't gonna ask anyone to prom so she picked out my prom date and i remember we walked in and you know we were we were young. We were kids. And on the dance floor, you see kids freak dancing. And she. I mean, you're there at the aquarium. I'm going to get horny. Those penguins made for life.

Look at all those fish. You can tell they're fucking in there. They love it. They're nasty. But when they fuck, it's beautiful. It's like a screensaver in Windows 95. Right. Yes.

We all had that famous fucking screensaver. Who hasn't jacked off to a Windows 95 screen? Ooh, those flying toasters. Yeah. Where are they going? I don't know. I know where I'm going now. Two slots.

Just enough. For me, it's the maze. The mystery keeps me going. Will that ball hit all four corners? If it does, I can blast. I don't know about you guys, but I just like jacking off to my own name bouncing around. Julia's computer. I've never owned any property.

But yeah, there are people freaking, and she looks at me and points and she's like well we're not dancing like that and 17 year old if you was like oh man I thought I was gonna dance like that oh jeez and then to add more drama a few months later my sister

comes and she's like I saw your prom date at this house party I was at and she was totally freak dancing oh man you watched her if you freak danced in the time I was like, I saw your prom date at this house party I was at, and she was totally freak dancing. No! Oh, man! You lost your – have you freak danced in the time that's passed since? Yeah. Oh, thank God.

Yeah, yeah. I'd hate for you not to have ever freaked out. I freaked – yeah. I mean, anyone in here partakes the freak dance, or am I the only one who's in the freak dance? I mean, you grew up out here so you were you were definitely freaking out yeah okay yeah i was but i was definitely of the freak dance yeah do you ever freak skank yes i mean yes that's again another podcast that's after dark oh man people don't know but the back of julia's heels are bloody from all that kicking right yes uh but

yeah no let's just say she knows how to open up the pit and then pick it up pick it up yeah but yeah no that was like a whole huge thing is like um i remember when i learned how to dance i was at this party and it was like they're they're like iffy you you don't say anything you go up and start dancing behind someone. And I was like, that feels like that shouldn't work. That's bad advice. You would think. You would think.

But this was a black party. And so for the first few girls, I'd be like, hey, do you want to dance? And they'd be like, no, and no, and no, and go over there. And then when you would just go up and dance behind them. You were holding up the wall just going, I just want to dance. Here's somebody. Here's somebody. Here's somebody.

Yeah, that's actually how I got my first free dance. Holy shit. I had to go to the bathroom. El DeBarge was in the mirror. Yeah. And he left already. He had to go to the bathroom. El DeBarge was in there? Yeah. And he left already. He had five Disneyland guides. Yeah, that's how I learned.

I immediately stopped when I entered white spaces. But it was kind of like a thing of like, why are you asking, dork? Like, what's wrong with you? Right, right, right. Are all Southern California proms held at science museums? Jordan, was your prom—here's a more specific question. Sure. Was your prom at the Discovery Cube?

God, where was my prom? My prom was in, I think, a very generic Marriott ballroom. Yeah, that's where my prom was. Yeah, that's pretty standard. I don't think it was— I mean, we also— I went to two proms. I'm sorry. The year before me and then my year.

But the year before me, I just went with a friend who was older. And that was at like a restaurant owned by Kevin Bacon. So that was how we went off curve. What did they serve there? Well. Sausages. Sausages. Sausages. Ham.

No. I think it was called like, it was in Pasadena. It's called like Twin Palms or something. It takes a long time for the food to cook because they only cook it at six degrees. Somebody already done that. Wow. There it is. All I remember from that experience was that my prom date came with a scroll of songs he

wanted to request and then spent that amount of time with the DJ. And you know what? He was better DJ than the DJ. All his songs slept. He knew he'd been probably to a couple weddings by that point.

Sure, yeah. We gotta get the songs to get you out there. Julia, we gotta play another call. I just wanna let you know me and Jordan went to three proms. Together. Can you go ahead and press play? Hi, Jordan, Jesse Go.

Just wanted to tell you about a momentous occasion that has just happened to me. Last week, two of my favorite YouTubers, not naming any names, read a lot of fan fiction. I wrote about them. It was surreal. fan fiction I wrote about them. It was surreal. Then today, two of my favorite podcasters,

again, not naming any names, discussed it with them on their podcast. This might be the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. Certainly momentous. Okay, love you, bye! Love you too, my stepmother Bernie from Belfast. So, let's unpack what happened.

So, last week's episode featured the handsome YouTube comedy men Rhett and Link. Real charisma bomb on our show. We didn't know what to do. We were like, oh, we're not this genial.

We're not graying disgracefully. We're not talented., we're not this genial. Sure. We're not graying this gracefully. Yeah. We're not talented. We read through it. It was a roller coaster of emotion. Right. Having read. The Great Rattling Lake.

A lot of fun. Terrific episode. And we discussed. Always great to be in Burbank. Any chance I get to get out there to Burbank and just enjoy the gun range, the Ikea, the whole nine yards. And the aforementioned Chili John's. Chili John's.

A great place to fart without judgment. Let's not forget, if we're talking about malls, the Burbank Media Center. I almost slurred over it. That and the AMC Open Mall. Anyway, that's, again, another podcast. Because they actually have a Walmart, which you can't really find. Oh, that's interesting. That's where I get all my wolf shirts.

And that's not a joke. That's a very real thing. If I want a shirt with a wolf on it. Yeah, that's the first place you're going to look. So we we talked about an episode of their show that they did where they blind read fan fiction about themselves. Sensual, sensual fan fiction. And it is a, it was a,

it's a harrowing 15 minutes. Yeah. Um, I think there, the fan fiction included a, a dog master scenario. Okay. Um,

Call of the Wild? Uh, well, yes, in a way, sure. Um, and then like a male pregnancy scenario,

an impreg. Okay. Um, and something else Peanut Butterfucking? Peanut Butterfucking, yes and then Peanut Butterfucking Is that the sequel to that Shia LaBeouf movie? Yeah, it is I said I was going to go earlier, now I'm going to go

Listen, let's all go I'm sorry, I'm getting a news update. Julia's just been elected mayor of Long Beach. What? I swear you were going to say cancel, but what's the difference? Let Jesse help you plan the Sublime Day Parade. Oh, yeah. That'd be great.

So I think what we've learned is that not only was, did the person who write the fan fiction see their episode, but then heard our podcast, which begs the question, where's our nasty fucking fan fiction? Caller? Why are you doing it about just because the show, their show is better and more popular. I think our listeners have a really good sense of the shape and power of our genitals at this point i think relative power i mean i'm not suggesting our genitals are notably powerful uh certainly mine are not uh but and mine's just a pager i shoved up my pants and honestly it's

not even a pager it's a box of tic tacs you're right may i ask though like what are you hoping for with this inquiry of like what kind of fan fiction we want to get become a success on the internet and we know that's one of the pieces right sure right right right we know that deviant art yeah it's a company like 100 there's macklerroy incest porn fanfic. It's got to be. And where's our fanfic? Slash fic. We'll fuck whoever.

We'll fuck Brian. If Brian consents to it. Of course. If Brian is okay with it, then we will fuck him. It'd be wild if you got canceled from a fanfic that you didn't even watch. We read what you did we didn't do it it came from your modem

that's true we're ghostwriting our own fanfic it's like when wikipedia goes you're using jay morris for 2069 as your login julie don't say my password on the show anyway but that's hey that's a lot that's a lot of fun 2069 is your login. Julie, don't say my password on the show.

Anyway. But hey, that's a lot of fun. Yeah. And I can only guess that this caller did the peanut butter fucking one. Yeah. My only disappointment was that this caller, who was obviously Irish, didn't take the opportunity to say, yeah. Sure. Sure. Yeah. She was a real fan of the show.

She would have faked a Ewan McGregor American accent and said, yeah, uh-huh. I think she whispered it at the end. She did the dog one. Oh, the dog one. Wow. Dog and master. That's amazing. A tale as old as time.

But that one consummated with the dog. I don't remember who was who, who was the dog and who was the master, but the dog humped the leg of the other one. That feels like the most pleasant and buttoned up of the trio. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Relative. The peanut butter fucking?

Yeah. The peanut butter was soft. Peanut butter is messy. Yeah, so messy. It's too much. But if you got a roommate. You just got to get some of that shop soap

with the pumice in it. No. Comes right off. No. You answered too quickly, my friend. Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.

2-0-6-9-8-4. Me thinks the gentleman has had peanut butter on the dog. 2-0-6-9-8-4--FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. This is your captain with an update from the flight deck. We'll be reaching Max Fun Drive on March 16th. That's right on time.

As a reminder, Max FunDrive runs for just two weeks, and it's the best time of year to support the podcasts you love. If you look towards the front, you'll see your favorite hosts with special bonus content and lovely thank-you gifts for new and upgrading monthly members. Now sit back, relax, and catch up on your favorite MaxFun shows now so you can listen to the new episodes releasing March 16th. And thanks again for choosing Maximum Fun. Listen, I'm a hotshot Hollywood movie producer.

You have until I finish my glass of kombucha to pitch me your idea. Go. All right. It's called Who Shot Ya?, a movie podcast that isn't just a bunch of straight white dudes. I'm Ify Whiteyway, the new host of the show and a certified BBN. BBN? Buff Black Nerd. I'm Alonzo Doraldi, an elderly gay and legit film critic who wrote a book on Christmas movies.

I'm Drea Clark, a loud white lady from Minnesota. Each week, we talk about a new movie in theaters and all the important issues going on in the film industry. It's like Guess Who's Coming to Dinner meets Cruising. And if it helps seal the deal, I can flex my muscles

while we record each episode. I'm sorry, this is a podcast? I'm a movie producer. How did you get in here? Iffy, quick, start flexing. Bicep, lats, chest. Who Shot Ya? Dropping every Friday on Maxim maximum fun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective julie prescott i'm Dr. Dorcus, but should I be comedy's camp counselor?

Is that something more apropos? I love Dr. Dorcus. Okay, okay. Then I'm keeping Dr. Dorcus. Also, Dr. Dorcus legitimately sounds like a member of the Mighty Mighty Boston. Okay, alright, then I'll take it. I'm Dr. Dorcus. And I'm iffy divorce Gundam pilot and streetwear

Dorcus. Oh, I like that. It's been a joy to have the two of you on Jordan, Jessica. Julia, your show Round Springfield used to be it used to be a Simpsons recap podcast with celebrity guests. Now it's a Simpsons

Insight podcast with Simpsons guests. Yes. Who's your top Simpsons guest? Oh, all of them are equally on the same shelf, and I'm so grateful to spend time with them. Good. Thank you. But only some of them are like the voice of Lisa Simpson, for example. Yeah, that was a particularly good one.

Yeah. If you haven't listened to the Art Lee Smith one, it is such a treasure. She's such a delight. Yeah, we've also had, I mean, we just did, I think, our fourth episode with Al Jean, who currently runs the show. He did three episodes of our previous iteration. And we had a great episode with David X. Cohen talking Futurama. Tim Long talked about working on the show for 20 plus years. But then also he got a movie made that he wrote last year based on

his life, which is like winning the lotto on top of winning the lotto on top of winning the lotto. So he talked to us about that. And yeah, it's just really great to do this new iteration of the show. And who knew that the best TV show of all time, the people that made it also did amazing other things and had interesting stories. You know, I had Yardley Smith on my TV podcast, which is not a max fun show.

So people, but it's, uh, it's called inside Herman's head. Sure. Yeah. How many episodes did you do? Just did the one with Yardley Smith.

I couldn't remember who else was on the show. Right, right, right. And she was the best one. She was the best one. Then I transitioned to making it a Parker Lewis Can't Lose podcast. Yeah, that's good.

And I interviewed the guy from ER who played Kubiak. That's good. Anyways, tune in to my new show, Drexel's Chat, where we chat about Drexel's class. Ify, who shot you? What's been going on on who shot you lately? Oh, man. Well, you know, I've been writing the show, so I've been gone. But my return is coming,

and it's going to be hard. It's going to be fast, and it's going to be loud. You're going to get the dumb idiot next to two movie-critical geniuses back. The guy who, the same week, they'll do some deep-cut, beautiful film,

will suggest Sonic the Hedgehog. Hell yeah, dawg. So prepare yourself. Oh yeah, that movie slaps so hard. I was ready. I'm ready. And, you know, we got some reveals after the credits that got me even hot. Has everyone in this room seen Sonic the Hedgehog the movie? I have not.

As opposed to as a man who, I don't know, probably talks about Sonic the Hedgehog once a day. I have not seen the movie. It's great. I will say, everyone's having a great time. I'm so proud of everyone involved. And there's one sequence in which Jim Carrey dances, and you can tell he was having a good time. That part is great.

As a confirmed Jim Carrey hater, I genuinely thought Jim Carrey did a great job. He did a great job. Everybody, I genuinely thought Jim Carey did a great job. Everybody, in fact, in the movie did a great job. You don't need to go see it, Jordan. Oh, that's a, you know, I bet there's a day down the line where it's on an HBO

or I see it on the new releases at the Burbank Public Library and I'm like, you know, now's the time to watch Sonic the Hedgehog. Fall asleep a third of the way in. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, of course I'll fall asleep because I will have already jacked off. Right.

You know me. That was implied. Yeah. And if they tease Knuckles for the next one. I'd save your jacking off for the post-credit sequence. I'm going to leave it at that. Depending on how you feel about... Okay, I'll say it.

Lowercase t-tails. That's a hint. That's a hint. That's a hint. Okay. Lowercase t-tails. Right, right. Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer on the program.

That's his laugh that penetrates the sound booth you can find us on reddit maximumfun.reddit.com you can find us on Facebook just like Jordan Jesse Go or join the Maximum Fun Facebook group you can find us on the web at maximumfun.org on Twitter with the hashtag JJGo

I am at Jesse Thorne Jordan is at Jordan underscore Morris our theme music is Love You by The Free Design JJ Go. I am at Jesse Thorne. Jordan is at Jordan underscore Morris. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Very nice of them. I'm sure they did not expect us to use it for free for 12 years.

But here we are, aren't we? Next week is the Max Fun Drive, so set your social medias to stun. Let's get it ready. Let's warm it up and knock it out. Yeah. Get it warm and get it out of here.

It's the most mixed metaphor of all time. Anyway, we love you all very much. Goodbye. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.