Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 628: Discreet Sons with Tre'vell Anderson

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

Tre'vell Anderson (FANTI podcast) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the mystery brewing at Jordan's aquatics center, the uniting quality of the books everyone read growing up, and the innovative technique Tre'vell used in the past to drink Kool-Aid.Plus, Tre'vell's new podcast, FANTI, is getting rave reviews from Linda Holmes! Check it out! 

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi, it's Jesse, the founder of MaxFun, coming to you from the microphone at my home office where I am socially segregating. So we promised you a MaxFun drive this week, but things haven't exactly gone how we expected. So given the pandemic, we're going to postpone this year's drive. Events are still fluid, so we're hesitant to give you specifics about new dates. Right now, we have late April penciled into our calendars. We'll keep you posted about that. As it stands, a lot of our drive machinery was already cranked up. So for one thing, you might hear a reference or two to the drive in our shows, which might have been recorded before we made this decision.

And here is some good news. There's a bunch of great bonus content available for all of our MaxFun members. If you're a member and you missed the email with instructions on how to listen, check your spam folder or log in at MaximumFun.org slash manage. Also at MaximumFun.org slash manage, you can change your membership if your circumstances have changed. We know this is a tough time for a lot of people, and we understand. You can also go to MaximumFun.org slash join at any time if you'd like to become a member. Maximumfund.org slash join at any time if you'd like to become a member.

During the next couple weeks, what would have been the drive, we're going to do our best to be extra available to you. We've got some streaming events planned, some social media stuff. We know a lot of folks are isolated right now, and we want to help provide comfort in the best ways that we know how. You can follow us on social media, and we'll let you know what's up. During this tough time, I have been feeling really grateful for my community of colleagues here at MaxFun, and for you, the folks who make our work possible. Goofy as that work may sometimes be. Stay safe out there

We're thinking of you Give a little time for the child within you Don't be afraid to be young and free Undo the locks and throw away the keys And take off your shoes and sex and run you It's Jordan, Jesse Go I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart Jordan Morris, pool detective

Pool detective? Yeah There was a pool mystery that I'm trying to get to the bottom of Wow Thorne America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, pool detective. Pool detective? Yeah. There was a pool mystery that I'm trying to get to the bottom of. Wow. Yeah. This sounds rich. Yeah. My community pool that I swim at was recently shut down.

Yeah. Well, half of the world is shut down at this point. It's rough. Yeah. But let's talk about what's important. The aquatic centers. Okay. I don't mean to be's important. The aquatic centers. Okay. I don't mean to be.

No, not at all. Of course it is very bad, and I'm making light of my... But we are here to provide America and the world with bullshit. Right, yes. And we will deliver in the form of a pool mystery. Sure, exactly. As Paul Revere wrote out into the night, so will we, making cunnilingus jokes about Mario's enemies. Yeah.

So what was going on at the pool? Well, do we want to- Should we introduce our guest first? I would love to. From the brand new smash hit MaxFun podcast, Fanti, Travelle Anderson. Hi, Travelle. Hello, hello, hello, hello. How are you, friend?

I'm doing all right, you know, in these dark, stormy times of ours. I should mention. I think there's a mystery afoot. Also, I made everyone a dark and stormy. Oh. Yeah, I was passing out cocktails. That's really nice. Yeah.

What's that, rum and ginger ale? That sounds right to me. I think it is. Ginger ale is healthy. Yeah, absolutely. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. What are the store-bought mom remedies?

Ginger ale, chicken soup, saltine crackers. That's it. That's it. You know what? Can the government just start airdropping chicken soup, ginger ale, and saltine crackers to everyone? We'll have this thing beaten a week. Do you know what makes a lot of appearances? Coachella's back on.

You know what makes a lot of appearances in my house in the face of illness? Mexican Pedialyte. Okay. It's just that regular Pedialyte, you have to get it. Pedialyte uses the cane sugar. The real cane sugar. You got to get it off a truck. Comes in that glass bottle that they use.

Right, stays cold. Well, because regular Pedialyte's really expensive. I don't know if you've ever had a sick child before, but regular Pedialyte is really expensive. It was like a hipster hangover cure for a while. It still is. Is it still? Not a hipster thing because I'm far from that, but it still is. Really?

Have you yourself used it for a hangover? No, but I know of a lot of people who have. Interesting. I also live a block away from Ralph's, so on a Saturday morning, Sunday morning. When you want to give yourself a little sweet treat. You know, I'm going to go get some eggs or something. Oh, right. And the Pedialyte out is –

You see people doing walks of shame. Listen, they're just like very slowly walking. They've got sunglasses on at six in the morning. Right. It's just, it's tough for them. Yeah, you need an Egg McMuffin and a Pedialyte. Listen, also down the street from McDonald's. Wow.

So perfect. Yeah. Seems like you live in the middle of what's happening. Listen, I do what I gotta do. So, wait, so you. So it's dramatically. So you but you've you've found a discount Pedialyte. Yeah, because I you know, the grocery store by my house is a big international foods type grocery store, especially Hispanic foods. And regular Pedialyte is expensive enough that it's in the part of the store like with the liquor where it's by the checkout and you have to ask the checkout person to go unlock it and get it for you because it costs like $9 or something.

Sure. It's expensive. Like quadruple blade razors. Yeah. Exactly. Blu-rays of Jumanji. Yeah. Things that are locked up at the grocery store. Exactly. And the Mexican Ped Jumanji. Yeah. Things that are locked up at the grocery store. Exactly.

And the Mexican Pedialyte is not. And my careful investigations of the back panels of both products seem to reveal that they were the same. Apologies to my children's electrolytes if I was wrong. But I imagine the Mexican version comes in a nice tamarindo flavor. Oh, I would love it. Can I have a jamaica, please? Yeah, I would love that. I'd be drinking that. I don't even drink.

I'd use it as a hangover cure. If it was jamaica flavored. Yeah, that'll get you on the wagon, right? Yeah. So I have a... Before everything was closed, all the things, all the things, you know, I was trying for your benefit. I do a little I do a little recreational swimming. OK, I'm trying to trying to up it to five times a week.

That was my plan. Can I do it? Can I go five times a week? I have a flexible work-from-home schedule. I can make it to this fucking thing five times a week. Yeah, you'll crawl one day, breaststroke the next. Sure. Alligator floaty on Wednesday. Put a pool noodle between my legs and make

it look like a dick Thursday. There are a variety of pool activities. Hey, my pool has Super Soaker Fridays. Oh, wow. Yeah. Are we talking 50s or 100s? Hundos all the way. Hundos.

I don't know. Did you have Super Soakers as a kid? Are you from the Super Soaker generation? You're a little younger than us. I remember them existing. Yeah. But we weren't really playing with them. You don't remember when they were everything.

No. There was a period of, what would you say, maybe four years? Yeah. I mean, I definitely remember, and I'm getting a little wistful thinking about it. You can see my cheeks getting a little rosy. I remember the super Soaker summer. Oh, wow. And it was very special.

And, you know, I don't think I'll ever forget it when the Super Soaker arms race caused them to go from, you know, reasonably sized water guns to things that involved a backpack you had to put on. I remember when it went to backpack level. you had to put on. I remember when it went to backpack level. Like it was such a tremendous technological advancement to pressurize a water gun. Right. It was such an extraordinary leap forward from the kind that you buy at the liquor store that's like a translucent green but looks otherwise exactly like a real gun, which was the kind that-

I know those. Yeah. exactly like a real gun, which was the kind that – I know those. Yeah. And then when I was like eight or nine maybe, the super soakers came in and that was you pump it up to make it shoot super far. And here's the thing. Super soakers and Apple computers are the two things that forever in my life I will

think of and just because it hit at the right moment in my life, forever in my life I will think of, and just because it hit at the right moment in my life, forever in my life I will think of as rich kid shit. Now, I don't know what super soakers cost. Probably $12.99, right? I don't think super soakers are particularly expensive things. expensive things. And it may be that they were not even overrepresented among rich kids, but it was one of those things that was everything in the world that both my parents or each of my parents, because my parents were divorced, but each of my parents were like, we cannot afford to spend that on a water gun. You can get a regular soaker, but not a super soaker. Exactly. You can get one at the Mexican grocery store like last summer, which is what, you know,

every summer, right? Tra, you know, every summer. Right. Travelle, what were the like cherished childhood toys for you growing up? What did you want more than anything? I was one of those kids that didn't really like going outside and playing things. You know, I read books. Interesting. Wow. Did you not even own a TV? I mean, my brother, I have an older brother, so he was very into like the sports and the football of it all.

And, you know, the video games of it all. Sure, sure. And then I was just like in my room like reading, you know, Judy Blume books and Babysitter's Club and, you know, Goosebumps. Remember Goosebumps. Remember Goosebumps? I had to read a Goosebumps recently to go on a podcast because podcasts these days are about things. Some of them. Not this one,

of course, but a podcast that was started recently. Sorry, Travell, he's talking about the ones people listen to. If a podcast was started recently and has fans, it is about something. Yeah. And I had to – this was the first – I had read maybe two Goosebumps books as a kid.

And I dove into one to go on this podcast. It's called The Goosebuds, by the way, and it is a hell of a lot of fun. I hope we're going to get one of the hosts on there – on here soon. It was a blast. The goose buds? The goose buds. There are buds who read goosebumps. I actually have a side project podcast called the goose butts.

It's about how funny goose's butts look when they're walking away from you. See, that's a podcast about something. People are going to love it. I mean, more popular than this podcast. I'm going to be frank. Sure. You're going to love it. I mean, more popular than this podcast.

I'm going to be frank. Anyway, but yeah, it was called The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena. I'll spoiler alert. The Abominable Snowman does not get to Pasadena until the last five pages. Really? Yes. What's it doing? Road tripping from the Yukon?

It's in a block of ice. And it unfreezes briefly to scare some kids and eat trail mix and then freezes again for some reason. It eats trail mix? Yeah, it eats trail mix. I think that's supposed to be a joke. The kind with or without M&Ms? Oh, it doesn't say. Yeah. Probably without.

Yeah. If I had trail mix that didn't have any M&Ms in it, Travell? M&Ms are the best part. I'd give it to the Abominable Snowman. I don't need it. I don't want it. You know, and it's like, it's like you would say, oh, just eat a bag of M&Ms. But if they're not in the trail mix, they don't get salty.

Exactly. Thank you, Jordan. They want them to be a little salty. Thank you. And that's why the Abominable Snowman realistically would eat the kind with no M&Ms because no one would give them the kind that does have M&Ms because they get salty. Travelle, what were your what were your goosebumps books? Did you ever read the Abominable Snowman of Pasadena? I doubt it. I think I was just reading because they were there, you know, but I don't even remember the book. I have a horrible memory. I feel like it's something that I need to work out with my therapist that I don't have. You know, like the traumatic childhood thing.

You block it all out. Wait, first of all, before you start, you build a base by remembering Goosebumps books. And then you can work up to intimacy issues that your parents give you. Exactly. That's where we're going to start and work our way up. Classic Jungian analysis. But I just feel like- Tell me about the goosebumps you've had as a child.

How did you feel when the abominable snowman got to Pasadena in the last five pages? Is that what your therapist said? Yes. Tell me this. If you were an abominable snowman, what type of trail mix would you like to eat? And what type do you think you would have access to? Because if it was me, I would not give an Abominable Snowman the kind of M&M's. I just want to say your accents are very good.

I'm very horrible at this. Thank you. So I was going to jump in, but I was like, let's not do that. Don't want to offend anybody. So you were reading Judy Blume's? Just books. Yeah. Like regular kid books. I did that too. Harryume's. Just books. Yeah. Like regular kid books.

I did that too. Harry Potter books. I read all books. And then eventually I was like – eventually when I was like nine or ten, something like that, I was like, no. I only read Michael Crichton books now. Sure, yeah. Oh, you graduated. I only read airport thrillers from here on out.

I had a little Crichton phase. Yeah. I on out. I had a little Crichton phase. Yeah. I mean, I could say I had a big Crichton phase. What are we talking? What are the Crichton classics of our youth? We got Jurassic Park, Lost World, Sphere, Congo. Yeah. The Andromeda Man.

I remember that one. Andromeda Strain. The Andromeda Strain. Thank you. Sure. Definitely read that. I read The Great Train Robbery. Oh, yeah. Sure. strain thank you sure definitely read that i read i read the great train robbery oh yeah sure just because you know it was available on the used bookshelf yeah you okay so i think this was kind

of the thing with i think i think the thing that unites all of these goosebumps judy bloom 90s critons just they were real easy to get your hands on yeah they were real someone would give you them some like a grown-up would just hand you one for some reason yeah yeah they were on like tables where you could just take them yeah library book sales yes right 50 cents yes get yourself a goose bump yeah you still can judy bloom books by the way i read a couple with my daughter before she started rejecting me reading with her. They're good. Yeah, they're really good. Have you thought

to maybe read to her and do some voices? Hello, I'm super fudge. It is I, super fudge. What are you doing, Peter? Your daughter would not like that. Our audience probably doesn't like that. Seriously, when I do voices –

Oh, I hate those Animaniacs. Sounds like the Animaniacs. When I do voices reading with my kids, they get so mad at me. Oh, God. They go like my son Oscar, who's six. He'll go like, Dad, you're not funny. I don't like your jokes but you're just reading the book he recently it was like yeah it was a big development you don't like rl stein's

jokes yeah it was a like big positive development in my relationship with my children one day uh when i said when i i did a voice reading a book or said a light humor or something and my daughter yelled at me and then Oscar said, Gracie, daddy can't never do jokes. Doing jokes is part of his job. He pitied me instead of being angry. Right. It's kind of the – it's the boulder you're always pushing up the hill. Yeah. being angry right it's kind of the it's the boulder you're always pushing up the hill but i read i mean like we've we've talked about this on jordan jessico before but like

between the ages of five i guess when i learned to read and uh 10 or so when i committed to only reading books about baseball thereafter uh i read like so many I read every one of those books, like every Judy Blume book I read, every E.L. Konigsberg book I read. And my favorite was Misty of Chincoteague. I loved Misty of – I loved the horse book series Misty of Chincoteague about a wild pony who cannot be tamed. Oh, wow. And – Never heard of this, by the way. You never heard of Misty of Chincoteague about a wild pony who cannot be tamed. Oh, wow. Never heard of this, by the way.

You never heard of Misty of Chincoteague? I don't know who Misty is. I don't know who Chincoteague is. I don't know none of that. Chincoteague's a place? It's an island off the coast of Virginia where horses run wild. A real place? Oh, is it real?

It's a real place, yeah. Absolutely. My aunt went there recently. Well, when things get stressful, I'm going to start going to Chincoteague in my mind. Yeah. Close my eyes and pretend I'm getting kicked by a wild horse. Can I suggest, Jordan, why not go with my Aunt Marty? Yeah.

She's really cool. She's really nice. She's sort of like a southern lady. Are you trying to set your aunt up? From Virginia. Maybe. We'll see. And if a horse kicks you in the head, she's an EMT.

Ah. Okay. I mean, this sounds great. How discreet is she? Is she 420 friendly? I don't think she's 420 friendly. Oh, well, sorry. I have.

She might be shaved. Okay. I don't know. I don't know for sure. Listen, I have standards. I only ask of three things of my partners. Anyway. Great lady, my Aunt Martha.

Great lady. I'm sure we can all agree she's discreet. Yeah. Okay. So here's the pool mystery that was getting up my butt before the pool closed down. Was that the mystery? Why was the pool getting up your butt? Right.

Exactly. Yeah. You had to close your butt while you're swimming. Yeah. You got to close that butt. Real tight. Exactly. You got to clinch.

You got to dive and clinch. Open butt is for entirely different circumstances than going for a swim. Very much so. Sure. than going for a swim. Very much so. Sure. So swimming, trying to go five days a week, and a nice little development

was that the pool during workouts started playing music. They had a PA system that I did not know about or one that was recently installed. Was it those kind of- So we got a soundtrack now. Was it those kind of things that look like, you know, like the bullhorn, electric bullhorn

from like 1965 in a movie where somebody's like, all right, everybody, get out of here. Everybody clear out. You know, you know, that kind of thing I'm talking about. Jesse, could we hear the therapist make that announcement? Hello, everybody, get out of the pool. Yeah, I like that. That's a lot of fun. Thank you. But you know what I'm talking about? That kind of handheld loudspeaker thing. Is it the kind that's like that but it hangs from the rafters and is pale blue?

I have not seen where it's coming from. I think it's just what you would use to make like an announcement. Okay. I don't know. I don't know where it's coming from. Let's just stipulate. I'm not techie like that. Let's just stipulate. I don't know. I don't know where it's coming from. I like to, let's just stipulate. I'm not techie like that. Let's just stipulate. I know.

I'm not techie. I know you're not a gearhead like me. Right, sure. But let's just stipulate that it's those kind of ones that look like bullhorns that are made of a white and light blue plastic and hang up in the corner from the rafters. Hey, if that helps, if that helps paint an imagination picture for everybody listening. Yes, it puts us in the story. We're there now.

Yes. Show, don't tell. Exactly. Jordan, you know, number one, you know and you have known I cannot get hard unless there's one of those bullhorns hanging from the rafters up in the corner. I didn't know that, but now I do. Well, so can you please include them in the story? Thank you. Okay.

Do you want to be hard while we podcast? Well, why else would I podcast? I don't know why we do this. I guess. Sure. Okay. I have three children, Jordan. Yeah.

How do you think I got them? Podcasting. Wow. Yeah. Oh, boy. Someone needs to explain the birds and the bees to me. Yeah. Well, that's why you don't have a son. We're podcasting to get you a son. Why don't I have a son? You got to get a son. Oh, I got Someone needs to explain the birds and the bees to me. Yeah. Well, that's why you don't have a son.

What podcast to get you a son? Why don't I have a son? You got to get a son. Oh, I got to get a son. Well, that's a running joke on this podcast. Jordan needs to get a son. I say I got to get a son. I don't know why.

Yeah. We don't remember why, but I get a big kick out of it. Okay. I'm ready. I don't think it's funny. We can get you a son if you want one. I'm sure we can pick up one off the street. Street sun?

There's foster care. Oh, yeah. Suns are out here. You know where to get suns? Well, the internet told me that once upon a time. Wow. Suns in my area. Discreet suns want to meet you.

Just Google sun sons 90065 sure yeah 48 that's my zip code 90048 you know what I'm okay giving out

my zip code on the show is that safe hey why don't you give out your zip plus four I don't think I know it oh yeah

well we'll have Jordan we'll have Brian find out what it is during the break anyway don't dox me the mystery Anyway, don't dox me. The mystery you face.

Don't dox me. Okay, so now they're blasting out music during the workout. And I like it. It's energizing me. It creates a fun vibe. The aquatic center is run mostly by teens. Mostly by teens. So – and I'm judging by the music, by the – what's in the playlist that the teens not only are checking people's passes, cleaning the bathrooms, making sure the snack machine is stocked.

They're also making the playlist. Right. I don't know. I don't – I wouldn't call myself up on the music of today, but I can recognize a Billie Eilish. Yeah, I know that. So the the playlist seems to go Billie Eilish. Rapper who sounds like he's sleepy. Billie anybody. Billie Eilish. Right. So I'm like, this is this is the music of today's teens. And it's you know, and it's it's it's foreign to me, but I'm enjoying it and it's pumping me up. So basically every day you get in there, Billy Eilish Sleepy Rap, Billy Eilish Sleepy Rap, Billy Eilish Sleepy Rap, Dave Matthews Band, Billy Eilish, Sleepy. Every day there is one Dave Matthews Band song and it is a different Dave Matthews Band song every time.

It's not like somebody just loves Crash. Someone is going pretty deep into the Dave Matthews Band catalog and sticking one song in between all this other young person's YouTube music. Let me ask you a question. Yes. You know how sometimes actors get jobs between their jobs? Sure. You might even be working in film and movies, but in between you might take a job at Trader Joe's just to keep the cash flow running.

The bills have to get paid. The bills have to get paid. The bills have to get paid. Do you think our friend Mike Mitchell is working at your pool? Oh, sure. Famous vocal Dave Matthews supporter, Mike Mitchell of the Doughboys. I don't know. I don't think so. I would hope you would say hi if you would see me.

How about this? Next time you're swimming there, presuming it reopens one day, just pop up your head, slow your crawl or your kickboard or whatever you're working on there. Your noodle deck. The pool noodle in between my legs. Pool volleyball game that you're playing. Just go, Mitch! And see if somebody pops up. Yeah, see if he pops up.

It'd be great to see. It's always great to see Mike Mitchell. It's baffling to me why a modern team, and it's not like it goes, it's not like it goes, Billie Eilish, Sleepy Rap, Dave Matthews Band, you know, John Mayer, Jack Johnson.

You know, it's not like there's someone who's clearly, their MO is, You know, it's not like there's someone who's clearly their M.O. is, you know, chill hacky sack tunes from the 90s. But let me ask you this. The other day here at my office, my colleague, Jesus, Jesus Ambrosio, who's an associate producer on Bullseye, and it is in his mid to late 20s, I think. And it is in his mid to late 20s, I think.

He somehow got the password to the Bullseye Twitter account. It was March 11th. And he put up the poll. It's 3-11 day. What's your favorite 3-11 song? Wow. I don't think it was ironic. I don't know that much about Jesus' music taste.

I know more about his taste in Pokemons because he's got a lot of Pokemons out on his desk. So he tells me about them sometimes. So I'll take, what's this Pokemon? I'll say. And he'll say, oh, you know, it's- What has he evolved from? Exactly. And he'll tell me the things it can evolve to, the things it evolved from. Sure, what it's weak against.

Yeah, exactly. What elements are its strengths and weaknesses. Wow. Sure, what it's weak against. Yeah, exactly. What elements are its strengths and weaknesses. But it made me wonder, like, I don't think, I think 311 hit their peak of fame when we were in our teens, right? Yeah, boy, Trevor, this is a big, do you remember?

I don't know. I don't know who a 311 is. Amber is the color of my energy. You're right. See, if you had said to me before this poll, what's a 311 song, I would have said to you, I know 311 were popular and I know I did not like them, but I don't remember which ones were 311 songs and which were OAR songs and which were LFO songs and so forth. But I remember from the list, the ones that I recognized were Come Original, the song about how you have to be original, where a group of white people sang a pretend reggae song in a pretend reggae voice. Wow. Yeah, it's from that real special time.

From that era. From that era. Understood. A kind of a post-sublime world. Understood. Where anyone could do reggae. Anyone could do it. Not just real reggae heads like Chet Hayes. Right.

So, ponder replay. So, Come Original and Amber Is The Color Of My Energy were the ones that I knew. Amber Is The Color Of My Energy is called, the song is called Amber, I think. original and amber is the color of my energy were the ones that i knew it looks amber is the color of my energy was called is called the song is called amber i think but i could remember as soon as i heard that i was like oh sure that that awful song and with come original i was like oh sure that awful song but jesus is not old enough to have come by this he has to be this has to be somewhat persistent in the culture like i would think that this would have come by this, he has to be – this has to be somewhat persistent in the culture. Like I would think that this would have come and gone between 1996 and 2002 and we'd never have to worry about it again.

Or at least there would be like – sure, like it would still appeal to people who are going on a 90s cruise or something like that. 90s cruise or something like that. But Jesus is – I don't know exactly how old Jesus is, but I'm going to call him 27 years old. Okay. So if he's 27, I'm 38. So that means that when these songs came out, he was five years old. So he was not tuned in to pop radio. You know what I mean?

Maybe his parents were into it. Yeah. And he learned it that way. Are you saying that Jesus' parents are my age? Listen, we don't judge anybody else and what they're doing with their, you know what, okay? That's right. We don't know why people have their children and when they have their children.

But grandparents, maybe? I don't know what you want me to say. Well, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you I'll tell you I'll tell you I'll tell you there's one person in here who doesn't know

how and why people have their children it's Jordan this guy can't get a son for the life of him I gotta get a son yeah I mean but I mean

I think when we were growing up we all you know I don't know and maybe we were this kid at a certain point but there was always there was always the kid who was like takes pride in being like a step backwards musically.

I only listen to Led Zeppelin kid. You know, I mean, I think that's the most that was the most popular one growing up for me, at least, is the I only listen to Led Zeppelin, kid. Yeah. I mean, Jordan, I'm not going to say who at my arts high school had a boombox and a CD of Sugar Hill Records' Greatest Hits. Sure. But I'm going to say he was about six foot three and he lived at my house. Yeah. So this is kind of like, oh, you guys have never heard of. Yeah. I feel sorry for you that you've never heard. Oh, I'm sorry.

You've never heard Scorpio'm sorry. Scorpio. You've never heard Scorpio by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious? You don't listen to Electro at all? Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, so maybe there are just that kid works at the Verdugo Aquatic Facility and to him that is classic rock. No. This is what I think.

Okay. I think the same guy that listened to that song when we were 16 and there were some of them where I lived and God knows you had to fight your way through them with a machete in Orange County in 1996, I'm sure. Like if ever there was a reason to be punk rock as you were, it was to avoid the second tier sublime bands. Like I think that guy just – it keeps being born but there just haven't been any big developments in that genre. It's like how a 40-year-old person could be really into Jimmy Buffett.

It's just because there aren't any new Jimmy Buffetts to get into. Right. So they just at some point realized, oh, I wear cargo shorts. I should be into Jimmy Buffett no matter what age they are. Right. They're just like, I love daiquiris, you know. And I think the same thing is like they like the last of the of the breed was Jack Johnson or whatever in 2005. whatever in 2005 and over the time since we just have not been doing our responsibly producing handsome soft white man boys uh who make music that you can chill to after you've

caught a sweet curl. Sure. Yeah. I mean, I would say that maybe, I mean, this is splitting hairs here a little, but I do think the DMB guy is a little less interested in surfing and a little more interested in, let's say, trail running. Uh-huh. But, you know, that's a tiny... Sorry, trunning, do you mean?

I guess I do. Okay? I guess I do. Okay. I guess I do. Which of these bands would a Frolfer enjoy? I think – oh, boy. Well, I think Frolf is the nexus. They all rotate around the nucleus. They've got a mound of Frolf and surrounding it is a puka shell necklace.

Yeah. And they all come together there. Yeah. And I think everybody loves to blaze. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So anyway.

So yeah. Maybe you're right. It's just like, right. Where do you go from there musically? And maybe there is just a chill teen who doesn't like to – he doesn't – listen. He doesn't live to work. He works to live. And even at 16, he knows. Are you sure it's not like a Pandora playlist or something?

I mean it could be, though I'm wondering what – because you're right. It does seem so random as to maybe be the product of an algorithm or something like that. But I wonder what gets you sleepy face tattoo rap and then Dave Matthews. There's a part of me that. Good question. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I mean, you absolutely could be right.

But I'm wondering, I'm wondering what yeah what what what machine learning is producing that there is a part of me that feels and i don't understand look i'm an i'm an artist i'm not a scientist okay sure i don't know how to travel i don't know how to program a computer okay i don't know what an algorithm is per se all right i went to arts high school. But I do think that with one of these algorithms that's inside of your Spotify's, your Apple Music's, your Pandora's. If you typed in Tame Impala and made one mistake on your thumbs up, thumbs downs and you were a local teen, you might fall into 311s. Like it could think that your sole defining characteristic is being chill. And if you're a teen, maybe you accidentally – you hear Come Original and you think, I don't know. I've never heard that before.

If it's not ubiquitous, it's probably not that bad. Like it became a hit song probably because it's a good song. You know what I mean? So you're like, okay, thumbs up on that. And then all of a sudden, you're done. All the credibility that you built up listening to Tame Impala is gone. And all the – us old people can say like, oh, it should have pointed you towards best coast or something. No. It's going to be all 311 pointed you towards best coast or something. No.

It's going to be all 311 and OAR from there on out. And then if you're lucky, it just won't just become a string cheese incident or whatever. See, this is – oh, this is why I listen to vinyl. This is why. Because I'm not relying on a machine. I'm just relying on grooves. Jordan is a product of the analog age, Travell. Understood.

Sure. That's okay. I just love. It's coming back in vogue now. I love tactile stimulation. I love touching. You love to touch yourself. Objects.

And me. And you. Others, not these days. Not anymore. And you. Others, not these days. Not anymore. Not anymore. Soon, perhaps I will touch another. But if not, that's okay. Travell, what did a chill dude, were there in your community as a teen and early 20-something, were there chill dudes?

And what was the cultural signifiers of chill dudes? Chill dudes. I don't think we had any of those. You know, I think my generation, we just were all, you know, like hyped up on, ooh. So back in the day, back in my day. Dramatic pause, yes. I was going to say we were all hyped up on Kool-Aid, but there's context necessary because I don't mean Kool-Aid in a jar with water and sugar. Well, some people don't use sugar.

They just do it out of the pack and mix it in water. Ooh. It's a white people thing. You shouldn't be frowning your face. Wait, there's people out there eating. When you say they just take it out of the pack and put it in the water, you mean the little package of flavoring. You don't mean the kind that has the sugar already in it, right? Because there is a kind that comes in a big jug that has the sugar already in it.

No. But mostly we're talking about the little flavor pack that you add your own sugar. I was talking about the packets, the paper packets. So there are white people. White people, yes, because that's not a black people thing. add your own sugar. The paper packet. So there are white people. White people, yes. Because that's not a black people thing. We believe in sugar.

Who are... At least a sweet and low or something. Travell, there are white people putting just the packet into water and then drinking that? Yes. Holy shit. Because I'll tell you, one time when I was like 10, when I first had my own money, my own $5 a week or whatever it was, I remember going to- $5 a week? You know, $3.

It was $3, $5. I think my final allowance might have been $10 when I was a teen. What years were you a teen again? 1942? Yeah, the to 1990. That just feels very far ago. Well, maybe. Does that strike you as a low allowance?

Yes. This seems like an allowance to me. Yeah. What can you do with that? Not much. But as I mentioned. You take it to the mall and you get really good at Mortal Kombat. And then you kiss all the girls.

In my case, you buy two packs of baseball cards. But I remember and you get really good at buying the 25-cent soda out of the Safeway soda machine. The Safeway brand. Safeway Select brand soda machine. Get yourself a Dr. Star. Yeah. soda machine. Get yourself a Dr. Star. Yeah, oh, I'd love a Dr. Star right now. That sounds disgusting. Yeah, it's like a worse Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper's good. I mean, even an

off-brand Dr. Pepper's alright. Is it? I do like Dr. Pepper a lot. I don't drink a ton of sodas these days, but if I if I'm treating myself. I mean, it's a type of soda. So yes, it is sweet in that sense. But it's sweeter than all the others. Maybe.

Maybe not. Yeah. But here's what I'm saying. Yeah. And the aforementioned Mexican store on my corner where my dad would – this is another thing we've talked about – occasionally offer me a treat, which meant that I could get a Kern's Nectar before – or a Jumex before school, which I never liked. But it was the best drink available in that store. And I didn't want to miss out on getting a treat. I understand. So they would have the packet.

You could buy one packet. One packet costs like 49 cents or something like that. And I would be like, I remember buying one and thinking, I'm going to make my own Kool-Aid. Okay. Pouring it in, mixing it up, pouring it out, tasting it and being like, something is horribly wrong here. Like something is truly horribly wrong here

because it really tastes bad without the sugar it very much so does but what are these whites doing i don't know you gotta ask them they're your people okay i'll check in oh check in about the vaccinations too go for that too yeah wait so you were saying you were saying that yeah kids kids your age my age we were like hopped we would we would take the Kool-Aid from the packet. Right. And we would pour a couple of those of just the powder into like a Ziploc bag. Then also pour in sugar and eat that.

Oh, so you would eat it like a – This was a year at school for me too. See? Eating pure Kool-Aid powder. Yes. I mean, your mouth was like red as shit. Yeah. Or purple, whatever color you got.

But that was part of the fun. With like a spoon? No. Or in the manner of a pig at a trough. It wasn't even a Ziploc bag. It was like the sandwich bag that you just fold over. It was one of those. And you would fold it over and you would take a bite out of the corner.

And that is how you would eat it. This came up on Judge John Hodgman the other day because we had a case with a woman who was washing all her Ziploc bags. The hell? I am. What kind of poverty? No. See, that was exactly my reaction. I didn't express it so specifically.

I was trying to be nice to this nice woman. She's not here. She was trying to reduce her impact on the world, which I think is an admirable goal. Oh, okay. Okay, sure. But, like, truly, when I was able to, like, I still have never been able to bring myself

to buy an Apple computer, because I think of it as rich kid shit, or a super soaker. But one thing that I 100 think of it as rich kid shit or a super soaker. But one thing that I 100% thought of as rich kid shit that I feel like a king every time I buy. Like I truly feel like the richest man

in the world when I buy is Ziploc brand Ziploc bags. Like I never had a zipper on a bag through my entire childhood. I only had Safeway brand fold over bags, which are horrible. They are. And when I feel that gripper zipper, when I see the yellow and blue make green seal,

I feel like I'm fucking, I feel like I'm Jeff Bezos. That's how I feel when I close that zipper and know how closed it's going to stay. Know that if I use it up, I can just take another one out of the box like it was nothing. I feel like a fucking king. So you were eating it. So you would bite off a corner? Just a small bite off the corner. And you would just, you know.

It makes it look like a luncheon. Yeah, like a little baba. Don't know what a baba is. You'd make a little baba like a baby has a baba. A bottle? Yeah. Oh, okay. Like a little baby's baba?

Well, sure, I guess. I wouldn't call it a baba. What are you, a fucking baby? Apparently. Apparently. We had like Kool-Aid trading at my school. So you would get Kool-Aid packs and you would like trade it in the back of the bus. What was your top flavor?

Oh, I don't know. I mean I think there were like rarer flavors and I think that – I think you could trade like two grapes for an island adventure. Something like that. So now here's another difference between the blacks and the whites. You called it grape. Yeah. We just called it purple. Sure.

Or red. Orange would be the only right one. What did you call island adventure? What color is it? It was kind of yellow. Then we call it yellow. You know? Boy, we sure are learning a lot. Yeah. This is a nice

it's a good cultural exchange this is what america needs more of right coming together learning about what you called kool-aid and how you ate it i think i would eat it with a spoon if it came to it if if i'm if if it came into my life right now, somebody said, you know how sometimes you're not from Texas and somebody from Texas will tell you about putting different stuff into a Cheeto bag? Sure. And you're like, yeah, I'll do that. This is what you do. You go to the ice cream bar truck or whatever and they fill a Ziploc bag with sugar and Kool-Aid mix and then you suck it out of the end like the teat of a cow. I would be like, yeah, okay.

But I would prefer to do it with a spoon. Yeah, I think that is just part of that. Like a certain age, it's like junior high where you're just kind of like challenging yourself with how much flavor you can ingest. Right. It's like my taste buds have not developed yet, so I will bombard them with the most intense things. It's like this was like the atomic warhead phase. I was about to say. Very much so. Yeah. Around that time. Atomic warheads and was like the atomic warhead phase. I was about to say. Very much so. Yeah. Sure.

Atomic warheads and the kind of the similar challenge candies. Yeah. Travelle, did your, in your community, in my community, how, how prevalent,

by which I mean people who are five years younger than me, in your community, how prevalent was contest sour candy? Like candy that where the point of it is, it is, it hurts you because it's sour. I think it was – we had the Warheads. It was really big.

I feel like that probably was the biggest one. Oh, no, no, no. What is it called? The Cry Baby or Baby Sour? Sure, yeah. Well, y'all know what I'm talking about. I do, yeah. I can picture the cartoon baby. Yeah, yes.

Yes. Oh, and I just want to adopt him. Oh, he could be my son. But I feel like that's what we had. Yeah. Yeah. And then there was like the – in hindsight, probably in very bad taste, the like the ultra-sour candy that the packaging made it look like drugs. So there was like in a vial or a syringe that you could squirt into your mouth.

Yeah. So something that made it seem like drug paraphernalia. I missed that. Yeah, that was, yeah, in hindsight, we shouldn't have done that. The corner store by my house, they sold things that were drug paraphernalia but were disguised as other things.

Yeah. You buy a rose in a glass vial that is actually for smoking crack in. Sure. Okay. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Travellan when she's checking into hotels right so it's Beyonce Sasha Fierce these are the many faces of Beyonce she's got a number of so multifaceted is there anything she can't

do yeah anyway so uh she's only okay in that Austin Powers movie yeah everybody loves Beyonce, but she was only... Yeah. Let's revisit Austin Powers 3 gold member. That would be a great...

That's like... Because, right, because it's like Beyonce is the thing you would have to work the hardest to take down. To find something. What could you do?

And I think maybe you've found it. But honestly, can I tell you the honest truth? I think it might have been her first solo single, but she had a solo single from the soundtrack of that movie. She did, yes. Look at you. That fucking bumps so hard. Like it's a Neptune's produced Beyonce song,

which is like my dream called Work It Out. Yes. That is like top five all-time Beyonce songs for me. It's fucking amazing. It totally rules. You should listen to the Making Beyonce podcast. Oh. Made from the people who did the Making Obama and the Making Oprah podcast.

Is there Work It Out talk on there at all? There is. They actually just released a special episode that talked about how that movie in that song was supposed to like jumpstart her solo career. Yeah. And it did it. Cause I remember when that song came out, I was like,

dude, the destiny's child lady just made a fucking awesome song. This is really like edge. These are like a James Brown, Neptune song. This fucking rules. This is great. And then it was not really a hit.

It was not a hit at all. I could, I could see cause who I could see And then it was not really a hit. It was not a hit at all. I could see who... I could see maybe why that was not the thing that rocketed her. Who has less to do than the female lead of an Austin Powers movie?

You have to roll your eyes at Austin Powers. That's very fair. She did what she could. She did what she could. She was doing her best. She looked great doing it. Looked great doing it. She did what she could. She did what she could. She was doing her best. She looked great doing it. Looked great doing it. She did her part. Sure.

Hey, let's give it up to Fat Bastard 2, right? Yes. He was doing it. Gold member. He loved gold. Yeah. And we definitely weren't a little tired of that by the time that movie came out. Sure. We're going to get into momentous occasions in a second.

I just wanted to mention, first of all, you heard in the advance thing before the show that we postponed the Max Fund Drive. We're shooting for a month, month and a half from now. We'll see how things go. And it's been such a tough week for everybody. And we're just – we have made an editorial decision on the program to just shovel more pure bullshit into the boiler. Sure. Our editorial board approved this marching order. But we've gotten a lot of notes from everybody and it's really nice to hear from everybody and tough times that we're all in together.

And thank you, everybody, for being so nice about the drive getting postponed and things being different. And we'll try and give you the tasty hot bullshit that you love. And hey, from what I understand, correct me if I'm wrong, but all that donor bonus content is up to listen to regardless of when the drive starts, right? Yeah, exactly. If you're a MaxFun member, you can listen to it whenever. You can join and listen to it if you want to. We'll have more exciting, thrilling arguments for that when it's Maximum Drive time. But it's available to you like our drinking game is up there. Yeah.

That is a fun thing that one can do in one's home. Play the Jordan Jessigo drinking game that's up there on the donor feed. Anyway, when something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us at 206-9844-FUN or send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Here is our first caller. Hi, guys. This is Yolanda in Louisville. I was sitting on my front porch,

and I live kind of outside of the city, like out in the country. And this truck is driving down the road and it's pulling a trailer and like a flatbed trailer. And on the trailer is a refrigerator. And in front of the refrigerator is just a guy holding to the sides of the trailer, like leaning up against the fridge, I guess, to keep it from falling off the trailer. I'm not sure.

I looked at him, and he just looked at me like, this is just what people do. And I don't know. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen, even in Kentucky. All right, thanks. Bye. That's how you keep a refrigerator on a trailer, right? I'm, listen, I'm. You have a guy stand up there and hold on tight.

You got two. Any refrigerator delivery outfit. Right. I know you guys haven't probably worked in refrigerator delivery. Have not. I haven't, but I'm going to presume a little expertise. Any refrigerator delivery outfit has two main employees. You have the guy who drives the truck.

You have the guy who holds on to the refrigerator and keeps it on the flatbed. I know that sometimes we call bullshit on those calls. You know, maybe it seems like they're fudging it or they're making something up, trying to get on the show. And I believe that she saw this. Yes. But I do not believe that she is from Louisville, Kentucky. Really?

This fucking happened in Florida. You know it. You know this happened in Florida. And this was a float in a parade. It was like the Florida Founders Day Parade. You're saying don't live in Tallahassee and call it Louisville? No. Thank you. I know. Listen. We know. Florida's where the crazy shit happens. But own up to it. I don't live in Tallahassee and call it Louisville? No, thank you. I know.

Listen, we know. Florida's where the crazy shit happens, but own up to it. I don't know. Some crazy shit goes down in Kentucky. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I mean, I'm not from Kentucky, but I've seen some things. You've seen some things?

I've lived a life, I'm trying to tell you. Sure, no. I mean, you went on a trip to Dollywood and you saw some shit. Is Dollywood in Kentucky? Where's Dollywood? I thought it was in Tennessee. Tennessee. Yeah, you're right.

You're messing up. Thank you. Look at you. Sure I am. I don't think they have such an attraction in Kentucky. You're right. In my Tennessee mountain home. Oh, that was wonderful.

No, it wasn't. In Kentucky you can go to- Fuck you, Travelle. You can go to the Linda Ronstadt water slide. Anyway. Earl Scruggs? Mm-hmm. I don't know.

Well, Linda Ronstadt made a new wave album in the 80s. It's pretty good. Oh, yeah? Yeah, that's something to look up while you're hanging around at home. Is that what chill dudes listen to now? Yeah. That's what they're doing. Linda Ronstadt's one-off new wave album.

It's great. Sounds a lot like the police. It's a lot of fun. Oh, that's cool. I mean, Linda Ronstadt can really sing. She's versatile. Yeah. She can do it all.

Brian, next call. If you heard our podcast, Becoming Linda Ronstadt. Right. It's all Ronstadt stuff. Yeah. She was going to be the female lead of So I Married an Axe Murderer. But then it went to someone else. Let's say Minnie Driver.

I'll tell you this. I watched So I Married an Axe Murderer recently. Let me just say, 2020, no reason to watch that. In retrospect, no reason. I'm not saying it's- RIP your mentions. Not saying it's the worst movie ever. I'm just saying it's a thinnish soup.

And I say that as somebody who was 15 and a native San Franciscan when that movie, which was shot and set in San Francisco, was made. Maybe I was 12. They shot part of it like down the street from my house. I was really pumped about it. But it is thin soup. Yeah. Most comedies are not funny. I think the first funny.

Airplane is funny. Airplane is funny. Mostly just airplane. And then nothing. Yeah. And then waiting for Guffman, I think. Yeah. Movies basically aren't funny.

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Brian, you want to play another? You go airplane, the jerk, 77, pretty good year, nothing until Guffman. Hi, this is Sherman from Covington, Louisiana. I was calling in for a momentous occasion. I was calling in for a momentous occasion. I was in the post office just a few moments ago, and, oh, boy, I was not expecting to hear a rooster crow.

It crowed, and it was cool, and it was in a box. Apparently somebody sent a box of live chickens, and it was just sitting in the back behind the desk of the post office. And, you know, they were knocking and clawing at the sides of the box. And it was just the weirdest thing. And it was so cool. And I really needed to see a box of chickens today. And, yeah, it was so cool. That's all I wanted to say. I hope you're all having a great time.

Thanks. Bye. Yeah, I mean, I feel bad. Like, I want to stipulate ahead of time that I do feel a little bad for the chickens that got sent through the mail. Sure. Is that legal? That's how you get baby chicks. You hear an advertisement on a Mexican pirate radio station, one of those 500,000 watt, you know, just south of the border stations that like – where like Elvis learned about R&B or whatever.

And then you hear an advertisement to buy baby chicks through the mail. You order them. It's baby chicks and goat nards. Sounds like somebody's losing their job. That doesn't sound legal. No, I think it's legal. Live stock? I think you can send poultry through the mail.

I don't think you could. Dead maybe. I don't think you could send a goat. As long as it has hollow bones is what you're saying. That's where the government draws the line. Yeah, so you could. I mean, you could send a goat. As long as it has hollow bones is what you're saying. That's where the government draws the line. Yeah. So you could – I mean you could send a velociraptor. Right.

Sure. Technically. Right. Technically. I mean just because you can doesn't mean you should. No. Exactly I think. Right.

Don't play God. Don't play God and try and mail a velociraptor. With the US mail system. If they can open a door, they can open their own box. of Velociraptor. With the U.S. mail system. If they can open a door, they can open their own box. So I want to stipulate in any discussion of this that maybe it is, I don't know what goes on inside the brain of a chicken or a rooster.

I'm going to say not that much, but I don't know if it's distressing to the chicken or rooster to be mailed. It seems likely. I feel bad in that sense. But leaving that aside, I would love to get a box of chickens. Yeah. I don't know what I just let him go.

I guess I don't have anything to do with them. Have you ever killed a chicken? No. Why not? Because I... Yeah, why not, Jesse? Because I'm born and raised in a major American city, Travell.

Well, that sucks for you. Sucks for you. I've been threatened with a knife and a gun, but I've never killed a chicken. Same. Thank you very much. But I've killed a chicken. You've killed a chicken? Yeah.

Tell us all about it. I mean, you just grab the chicken. First you grab the chicken and you break its neck. Yeah. Ooh, what? Ooh, what? I'm from the South. I'm from South Carolina, you know?

You do these things. Yeah, sure. Did you – it was a situation where you were killing the chicken that was going to be eaten later? Yeah. Okay. You killed the chicken. Was it nice or stringy? I always imagine if you catch –

The quality of the meat? You killed the chicken. Was it nice or stringy? I always imagine if you catch a chicken in the backyard where the chickens live in a backyard area, and then you kill it and cook it, that it's going to end up being stringy, and you're going to be a little disappointed you went through all that. No. No, it was a nice chicken? Listen. Was it roasted? Do you eat chicken today?

Roasted or a soup? Are you vegan or anything? I haven't eaten chicken in several days. Maybe it's been a week since I've eaten chicken. I had chicken yesterday. Going to have it tonight again. Is an axe involved? I think of the axe on the neck against the stump.

I wouldn't say an axe, but there is a butcher knife. Wow. Because you do have to cut the head off eventually. Then you dip it in boiling water to get the feathers off or something? Well, you can do that, yes. You also can just hand-pull it. You know?

Hand-pull? What other things have you killed? Personally, I think that's the only thing that I've killed. Let me think. Maybe roach hair there hey you've been killing it on this podcast you have to fold the podcast down and cut off the head with the butcher knife and you gotta runs around a little bit afterwards dip it in boiling water to get the feathers off you know

it's fine when you're killing it on a podcast okay i'm fine with i'm i'm okay with the i'm okay with eating a chicken. I don't have a problem with that. I mean PETA is probably not, but that's okay. But you're – yeah. But mailing them, you draw the line. You're not mailing them. That's weird.

I think it's probably mean to the chickens, but I'm just trying to acknowledge how much I like the idea of a box full of chickens. I don't – That's why they say more fun than a box full of chickens. Yeah. There was a rooster. No, I don't think anyone says that. I don't – That's why they say more fun than a box full of chickens. Yeah. There was a rooster. No, I don't think anyone says that. I haven't heard that. I think I was like – if I say this convincingly.

I was like, oh, interesting. I'm on – like many of us on social isolation to the best of my abilities. But this morning I had a little time off because my wife took my kids to go wander through a park or something. So you went to your fight club. So I went to my fight club. We really shared some fluids. Yeah. Oh, boy.

I took my dog, Sissy. My other dog, Coco, doesn't really like hiking or going for walks anymore. But my dog, Sissy, and I went on a – I'm sorry. Slow down. Your dog's name is Sissy. I have two dogs, one named Sissy and one named Coco. Spell Sissy.

S-I-S-S-Y? Oh, I was hoping it would be like Sissy, like Sissy Houston. Oh, C-I-S-S-Y? No. Interesting. Okay. Keep going. Have you reconsidered changing your dog's name?

Just the spelling. I have a third dog, B.B. Winans. Is it really B.B. Winans? No, I don't have a third dog. That would have been hilarious. That would be great. That would be fun. That would be amazing.

But I was taking my dog on a walk through a very parky park. Like one nice thing about living in Los Angeles is there are some really big urban parks. And Debs Park is the one near my house. I was going to hike up a mountain. And persistently there was a rooster going absolutely apeshit. Oh wow. Like, and it seemed very close.

Like it might've been one of those effects of a valley and a mountain side or, you know, like directing the sound, like when you're at the science museum and one person sits in that one chair that has a concave thing behind it and the other person that you can whisper to each other from 40 feet away but i feel like i in my heart i feel like just among the hawks and eagles and other birds of the uh debs park autobahn society there's also just one rooster that lives there that's how i like to imagine sure it's just a wild rooster living on its own terms probably somebody got a box of roosters

because they thought it would be fun they let them out on the street yeah you know the classic it sounds very orange is the new black i was also making toilet wine, I should mention. Hooch. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to make a little hooch. That's something fun we could all do while we're at home. Learn to make hooch.

Where's your pruno, Jordan, Jessica, Alyssa? Hashtag show us your pruno. Get out there and take a pic of your toilet wide and it burns into social media. If you pic your toilet wide picture, we can send you five stamps. I don't know what that voice is. The Max Fine Drive, we're only going to be accepting donations in the form of sealed packets of mackerel. Sure. One dollar packs of mackerel.

You can get a couple packs of cigs for those. Yeah. Have you heard about Max? In the federal prison system, they made it really hard to get cigarettes. This was maybe five years ago. Something may have replaced Max in the time since then. But in the commissary, in the federal prison system, you could buy a package of mackerel, which is a cheap protein, for a dollar. Right.

And it was shelf stable. So cigarettes were replaced as the – in the federal system specifically, cigarettes were replaced by mackerel packages, which were known as macks. So if you wanted to buy anything in prison, you paid for it with packages of fish. Which is truly – and it was apparently just because they're shelf stable and they cost about a dollar or they cost about a dollar at the time. But like it's truly a remarkable currency to just be distributing packages of – Well, I hear that the inmates, you know, they got to figure out how to survive. You got to sure. A barter system of sorts.

Right. Exactly. And it turns out to be vacuum-packed fish. Yes. Going back to the land. It's better than fresh fish. Fresh fish would be- What about ramen?

Are they not using ramen these days? That seems like that would work. Cup of noodle maybe? Cup of noodle is a nice treat. Nice cup of noodle. I feel like that's better than a- It's a little salty. Yeah.

Hey, if you're out there- Well, I mean, you're in prison. Are you worried about your salt intake? Watching your sodium. You might be watching your sodium. Really? Yeah. Well, you don't want to get a heart attack.

Nobody wants to get a heart attack. Good point. You want to die from being shanked. Yeah. Ultimately. The hero's day. That's the dream. Yeah.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse go it's Jordan Jesse go I'm Jesse Thorne America's radio sweetheart Jordan Jordan Morris, boy detective. Travelle Anderson, but you can call me Beyonce. Thank God we solved that mystery for you, Jordan. Yeah. What was the mystery again? Why teens were inserting one Dave Matthews band song into their otherwise Dave Matthew-less playlist of teen music. I think, do teens still listen to Jordan, Jesse Goh?

Maybe not. Maybe teens are done with Jordan, Jesse Goh. There was a time when we had teens listening to our program. Right. Yeah. Because we had all those SAT analogies. Really helped them if you want to get into a good college. Yeah.

I mean if we – yeah. Listen. I would love more information on this if anybody has access to teens. Yeah. Seems weird, but. Yeah, it's a weird way to put that. Yeah. And could I go back and have Brian edit it in a better way to describe it?

Sure I could. But you know what? I don't have the time. They know what you meant. They know what I meant. Fine. Yeah, I would love to know if there if there's a segment of dave matthews scenes maybe they are the you know oh modern music ain't got shit on classic rock yeah i doubt types yeah what does it also i just want to know what like

a chill handsome dude listens to not like a not like an aggro handsome dude. A like super kickback, chill handsome dude. Right. If you're a friendly guy because life has treated you so well. Yes. Things have been easy thus far. Yeah. What do you mean?

No bumps in the road. Sure. Yeah. Find one and find out what they're listening to. Yeah. If you're the kind of teen who has made it to teendom without rage somehow, what soft music do you listen to while you bone hot babes? By analogy in my head, like a teen now listening to Dave Matthews would be like if we were in high school and there was a kid who just listened to Christopher Cross. Right.

That is a perfect. It would be so weird. You like sailing? Yeah. That is a perfect analogy. That is a beautiful analogy. Thank you. I was listening to Christopher Cross earlier today.

Jordan, you're beautiful. Thanks. And you have a great personality. I think teens like Sade. Yeah. Teens do love Sade. Right? Don think teens like Sade. Yeah. Teens do love Sade. Right? Don't teens like Sade now?

Yes. Because when I was a teen, there was nothing less cool that you could listen to than Sade. I had to become 25 before I understood how amazing Sade was. Yeah. I mean, everything goes in circles these days. Sure. It sure does. That's why they're listening to Dave Matt.

Maybe they heard it on American Idol or something. Oh, yeah. You could be right. I mean, maybe. I mean, I remember there was a hot second where like a song would come back because it was on Glee. Yes. I don't know if there's an equivalent now.

I think Sarah Palin sang Crash Into Me on the mask. Right. Yes. She was dressed like a giant cheese. I remember that. The world is good. What a great world. It's a TV show.

It's very popular. Sure. I wish I could name another Dave Matthews Band song so that I could. They have a lot of hit songs, right? Do they? Don't they have like six hit songs? I mean, I think Crash Into Me is the one that would have made it out into the world to where a non – I mean I recognize – Does Dave Matthews Band have less hits than 311?

Because there were two 311 songs that just from seeing the title I could sing them in my head much to my shame. I bet they are neck and neck. I bet Dave Matthews Band and 311 started having hits around the same time and stopped having hits around the same time. But like Dave Matthews Band still like plays stadiums or whatever. Yeah. I mean, well. Maybe. Why?

I don't know. There's a lot of chill and chill people and chill aspirants. They've got bills to pay. I get it. Sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, Dave Matthews Band themselves does it for the money.

They want to get money. Anyway, I made a joke about the Dave Matthews Band on Twitter not too long ago. Back when you could make just a joke about a normal thing. Right. And Mike came over and beat you up. And beat me up. No, and the bass player from Dave Matthews Band retweeted it with the laughing emoji and so true. And it was the nicest interaction I have ever had with a group of fans. Usually

if you make a joke about a thing online that you're not a fan of, sometimes you will attract the fans. Yeah. Ooh, I did a Lana Del Rey joke eight years ago. Shouldn't have done that. Wow. Yeah. You're still getting pushback on that. R.I.P. my mentions. Yeah. They're called menchies.

Oh, sorry, menchies. R.I.P. my yogurt land. I don't know if that will track. Maybe it will. Who cares? TCBY. Oh, boy. R.I.P. my TCBY.

Love a TCBY right about now. Anyway, the Dave Matthews fans were very nice about the soft joke about their favorite band, and I really liked the interaction. That's cute. I have a Twitter follower who's really into Guster. Sure. Speaking of- Boy, that might be the last one of those bands. Friendly rock bands of the late 90s and early 2000s.

Guster. And she is so nice. And she'll tweet at me when I tweet something that can be related to Guster. Oh, no. Like, she'll bridge the gap for me between what I've tweeted and Guster. Sure. Okay. Very committed.

Okay. And she has such a positive attitude about it. I'm like, well, you got to hand it tweeted and Guster sure okay very committed okay she has such a positive attitude about it I'm like well you gotta hand it to this Guster fan mm-hmm she loves Guster sure yeah I think that yeah I think I there was I think there was the crash was probably the big Dave

Matthews hit that made its way around then you know probably like I'll turn a rock radio had some lesser ones yeah anyway well thanks Jordan no problem appreciate it we went back probably like I'll turn a rock radio had some lesser ones. Yeah. Anyway. Well, thanks, Jordan. No problem. Appreciate it.

Glad we went back. Got to close the loop. Travelle's podcast is Fanti. It's Travelle. You can give the patter because you're good at the patter. You're ready with it. I know this because you came on Judge John Hodgman. You dropped four sentences in a row that were so tight you couldn't bounce a quarter off. We worked hard on it. I know this because you came on Judge John Hodgman. You dropped four sentences in a row that were so tight

you could bounce a quarter off of them. We worked hard on it. We worked hard on it. Fanti is all about those complex and complicated conversations about the gray areas in your lives. It's about the people, the places, and things that you love even though they may not love you back. The things that you're big fans of

even though you have some anti feelings towards. hence the name Fanta so we talk about Wendy Williams for example we talk about Tyler Perry is one of our most recent episodes we talked about you know when Gayle King did that interview with Lisa Leslie and everybody was like oh my god why'd you

ask about Kobe potentially raping somebody we talked about that and how everybody was wrong you know all of that we get into all we try to give you the nuance that you're missing from your Twitter timeline. That's what we're all about. Did you guys hear – I said something about Kobe once and the disaster on my timeline continues to this day. Well, luckily we didn't get any negative feedback on it because we were interested in talking about the role of a journalist. Jared and I, my co-hosts, we're both journalists.

And so we did not see anything wrong with Gayle King asking the question. We actually thought that she had to ask the question. It's her fucking job to ask the question. And everybody else who felt some type of way. Snoop Dogg calling her a dog. Snoop Dogg was very bad. It was. Yikes. But he wasn't the only one.

There were others. It was just like the biggest, craziest one. But yeah, we like to get into all those, you know, types of thorny type conversation. Jordan, I don't need to tell you this, but it's gotten some very enthusiastic reviews from our friend Linda Holmes. Okay. Well, I mentioned it. Holmes approved. to tell you this, but it's gotten some very enthusiastic reviews from our friend Linda Holmes. Okay, well. I mention it. Holmes approved.

I mention it only because I know that Linda is much more credible with our audience than we are. Sure. That's why I mention it. Hey, listen to this show.

It hopes that Linda will appear. It's worth it for that once or so a year. Yes, she gave us a couple of shout outs. Yeah. On her, on Pop Culture Happy Hour. Nobody's better. She tweeted about us, you know, last week.

It's a killer show. It is hot out of the gate and destroying it. I'm really proud of my vague associations with it. I'll say that much. Well, we're only here because you allow us to be here. Yeah, and you remember that. Don't cross me, Anderson.

I'll do my best. I get in trouble often, so. Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer. You can find us online at MaximumFun.org on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com You can tweet with the hashtag

JJ go. We're also on Facebook where you can like Jordan Jesse go and join the Max fun Facebook group. We know it's tough times and we are we're thinking of all of you guys and thanks for spending some time with us. We'll talk to you next time on

Jordan Jesse go. thanks for spending some time with us. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse go. Maximum fund.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported.