Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 633: Don't Neglect the Debris with Gabe Liedman

Episode Date: April 21, 2020

Gabe Liedman (Brooklyn 99, Pen15, Q-Force) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jordan's quarantine shrimp eating, the fever dreams that are Grimms' Fairy Tales, and how one might please a living meteor. Plus, Gabe tells us about his new animated LGBTQ comedy action spy show on Netflix, Q-Force!Check out pay-what-you-can remote music lessons from Jesse's friend and ukulele teacher, Lonnie!And check out Jordan on the Go Fact Yourself! podcast this week!ACTION ITEM: If you have a story about a role playing game that took a sexy turn, let us know – give us a call at 206-984-4FUN or email us at [e-mail]!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, a.k.a. Shrimp Master, a.k.a. Big Shrimpin', a.k.a. Daddy Ten Legs. A.K.A. Prawn Baby Prawn. A.K.A. Lil Scampi Pampi. A.K.A. Krill or Be Krilled. A.K.A. Peel and Eat That Ass. A.K.A. Bubba Gumps Like a Truck.

What? What? Guys like what? Shrimp. Shrimp. A.K.A. Poe Boys to Men. A.K.A. Owner of a Lonely Shrimp is a.k.a. Poe, boys to men, a.k.a. owner of a lonely shrimp is much better than the owner of a broken shrimp. So it's like a shrimp name? Yeah, I've been cooking a lot of shrimp lately.

Okay, fair enough. And I got this real shrimpy apartment now. I just figure we need to kill as much time possible on the nicknames. I'm grateful to you for not just showing up, but also really doing the work, Jordan. Yeah, sure. I spent four weeks on that. Time well spent. Did you just, like, was it one of those situations where you placed an Instacart order or something,

and everything that you ordered just came back? They're like, we were out of that, so we just got you some shrimp. Yeah, you know, there's a little box, like, you know, if they don't have blank, substitute with blank. And for everything, you know, butter, you know, milk, coffee, I just put substitute with shrimp. And apparently, you know, other grocery levels are very low, but shrimp level's quite high. Shrimp is available. Yeah, I mean, a lot of people don't know this.

It is possible to do a lot of substitutions, especially baking. A lot of times if I'm out of buttermilk, I will just add shrimp to milk. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It gives it that kind of down-home southern flavor. What kind of shrimps have you cooked up, Jordan? Oh, boy, let me tell you. So, yeah, I've just been buying a huge thing of shrimp. I say, give me one thing.

I go to the fish man. Oh, you're visiting the monger. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, I'm visiting Prince Sidon from Zelda Breath of the Wild, a sexy fish man. Wow. You could have gone with, like,

the creature from the Black Lagoon or the Shape of Water monster, but you went with Prince Sidon. Nah, man. Those are yesterday's fish men. Okay, so you got yourself some shrimps. How much shrimp are we talking about? Boy, a pound of shrimp.

Yeah, that's a pretty fair amount of shrimp for one man. Yeah, and I have just been eating shrimp like, what's something that eats a lot of shrimp? I'm going to say sperm whale. Sperm whale, yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm like a sperm whale over here. And I'm not tired of it.

And I think it's because I... It's two things. I never cooked shrimp for myself at home. So it still feels like a magic trick when you know i'm able to make a shrimp dish and you know shrimp was kind of a special thing in in our house growing up my mom would make a shrimp gumbo once a year uh but then any other shrimp was like a special occasion like hey good report card let's get you some shrimp. So I just feel like I'm, every day, I'm just, I'm a good boy. I made mom proud.

And I'm rewarding myself with some little veiny crunchies. Wait, are you de-veining these shrimp or just crunching on in? Oh, I de-vein them and then I like to eat the veins. Oh, wow. Just eat a bowl of veins. And yeah, I know the veins are shit. Yeah, I know. You're not evaluating the quality of the veins. They're very fine veins. It's just that the veins are themselves actual fecal matter. Yeah, they're shrimp excrement. And you know what? I love them. I love the veins. You know the old KFC slogan, I ate the bones? I ate the veins.

Was that in the late 80s? When was that slogan, I ate the bones? I don't know. Can we bring in our guest and ask him if he remembers I ate the bones? Yeah, we'll check in with our guest. Our guest is a comedian and television comedy writer. You might have seen his work on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, among other venues. He's got a brand new show coming probably sometime next year to Netflix called Q-Force.

Gabe Liedman is our guest. Hi, Gabe. Hi. What a joy to have you here. Oh, my God. Thanks for having me. Are you ever crunching veins or? You know what? I'm not afraid of veins. They're there for a reason. Yeah, pumping. Yeah, God made veins. Veins don't hurt. Absolutely. And yes, I do remember he's eating the bones or I'm eating the bones or, you know, it had a comeback.

Really? In the last couple of years, or at least people were talking about it. Yeah. I don't know if they reuse the slogan, but. Is it a slogan for like for bears or something? I think it's about chicken wings. I think it's about chicken wings. I mean, KFC, they're known for their great sides, but also their bony chicken. So I think people were surprised that the chicken didn't have bones, and then they thought they had eaten it, so they said, I ate the bones. And that's me, but with shrimp shit.

It's not always as crunchy as Popeye's. You know, some people like Popeye's better. It's not always as crunchy, but it is always bonier. That's nice. That's a plus. I do. I have visceral memories of finding the spine in my KFC as a kid.

Oh, wow. Not really attached to any of the meat they should be serving, either. The spine. Oh, the spine was in the coleslaw. Got it. I do like a nice spiny slaw some people like a vinegar slaw yeah some people like it with a mayo based sauce and you like it with a little spine in there yeah just a little something to add add a little snap you know i'm a bear gabe are you how has your home? I am a bear too. Yes.

Oh, congratulations. Is that where you were going to ask? I was going to ask. Well, I was going to lead into it in a little more of a classy way. I'm going to, I was going to say like, so Gabe, um, you know, do you like to hibernate for the winter? And then I would get you to. God, yes.

Yes. Uh, are you, uh, are you much of a home cook? Are you doing more home cooking these days i love to cook yes my husband and i we both like to cook he cooks most of the weekday stuff and then i do the weekend stuff because i'm still doing a nine to five e type thing even though i'm not leaving our house if that makes sense what are your your top dishes? Let's say your husband's been a good boy. What's he getting as a special treat? I'm assuming shrimp, but you tell me.

Well, we've got some shrimp in the freezer. That's coming out this week. But that's on one of his days. He'll be making me shrimp because I'm such a good boy. But tonight I made a big turkey meatloaf and some salad. And it was good. I big turkey meatloaf and some salad. And it was good. I love a meatloaf. My wife recently found herself to be allergic to wheat.

And meatloaf is now out. That's the one where I'm like, what am I going to do without? I can live without pasta. But without meatloaf, who am I? Instant oats, my friend. What? Have you tried it? Do it with oatmeal. Oatloaf? It's good. That's, my friend. What? Have you tried it? Do it with oatmeal.

Oatloaf? It's good. That's how my mom used to do it. Yep. Really? Holy moly. Instead of breadcrumbs, just do oatmeal. And it's actually good.

You wouldn't like, I mean, you know, there's a texture to it, but it does the same thing and it's good. And then you'll be like, I'm getting fiber too. Can you also stir in some brown sugar and fresh berries? Sure. Absolutely. What about shrimp? What's your relationship to shrimp, Gabe? I love shrimp. I also grew up thinking it was super fancy and also thought it was Asian. Like we would only, we went to Chinatown. I grew up in Philly and we went to Chinatown every weekend. That was like our night out as a family.

And that was where I really got up to my eyeballs with shrimp. So I associated it with Chinese food mostly, but now, you know, I'll take it in any, any which way. I love shrimp. Prime protein.

My wife, uh, God bless her. I'm a wonderful human being. Uh, when we were in college, she did a semester in Cuba. And in Cuba, food, even if you were, you know, relatively rich American, was tough to come by. This was before there were restaurants. And so you just, you know, she just ate a lot of beans, you know, because that's what was available in the store. But she did get shrimp once, and she ended up in a Cuban hospital.

Oh, man. They were full of flour? Yeah. Apparently so. It had been floured. They added a little water, and they just molded them to look like shrimp. water and they just molded them to look like shrimp. And so no matter how much I want to eat shrimp, they're not, they're not crossing the threshold of my home. Damn it. I don't think I could even, I don't think I could even, my wife is a monumentally reasonable human being, but I

don't think I could even like make some shrimp for me and some pork for her, uh, to tub into a, you know, in a stir fry or something. Uh, I think that if it's so much as hit the stove in my house, uh, I would be divorced. When you puke something, it's, uh, it's hard to eat it again sometimes. Not all the time, but. It's forever. Uh, have you thought about, um, know that secrets can tear a marriage apart. I'm not a married man, but this is something that I know about marriage. Yeah. Secrets can tear them apart.

Sure. But have you thought of running the risk and maybe having some secret shrimp, like some shrimp that you eat in the car,, you say you're going to the hardware store, but really, you know, you're sneaking off to Long John Silver's. Well, I have here in my, I'm recording right now from my home office. And I do have one shrimp drawer here in the desk. And then I will keep some shrimp in the glove box. then i will keep some shrimp in the glove box um and that's that's more for like you know if we've talked about on on this show that my my big outing these days is to drive my three-year-old around

until he falls asleep the napping drive and uh you know sometimes daddy gets peckish and i'll pull it out of there and i keep some Old Bay in the center console. Right. So it's just pull, sprinkle, chomp is sort of the rhythm of it. Yeah. Have you thought about, I don't know if you have a cup holder or something, but you could just fill that with Zatarain. That is a good idea. If you wanted a little flavor of Nolans.

We've talked on this show about how even when my local grocery store was as wiped out as can be, there was a fully stocked Cajun area. Oh, yeah? independent grocery store in a predominantly Latinx, mostly Mexican-American neighborhood. Lots of Latin specialties. You know, you can get every, if you don't have to worry about whether they're going to have guajilla and Colorado chilies, right? Like all Latin specialties covered.

But then it has an ethnic aisle that is for non-Latin foods. And there's like a, you know, there's a little section of Korean food. And then just as big as the section of Korean or Japanese and Chinese food is the Creole section. It has every Zatarain's product. It has black-eyed peas. It has blackened catfish seasoning. It has mix-ins for making. It is the most, and literally when there was no flour on the shelves, there was as much gumbo mix as you could ever want in your life.

Sounds like the owner's just got a thing for Cajun food. Do you think it's possible that the Superior Market, a.k.a. El Superior, was founded by celebrity chef Paul Prude Home? I would say that the chances are low, but they exist. Yeah. I mean, it's also possible it was Emeril Lagasse, but my money's on Paul Prude Home because of that Applejack hat.

Sure. And so long story short, you and your family are just eating red beans and beignets every night, right? Yeah. A little of that chicory coffee, too. That's all we're having. That's all we're having.

Gabe, if your husband was serving you a good boy meal, what would you be requesting? A pasta with some Italian sausage in a red sauce. That's my favorite meal. Are we talking like a Sunday dinner type situation? Like a meat sauce with maybe some short ribs and some italian sausage and everything cooked for 12 hours or are we talking about more of a fresh uh sausage and tomatoes situation i like no not fresh definitely goopy boiled or you know bubbled for a long time but i don't need the short ribs i just need need the sausage. Oh, wow. That's pretty bold. Brown the sausage, then you make the, you know, sauce in that pot, and then you add it back

in. I love a short rib. You lost me with you don't need short ribs. I love a short rib, Gabe. I love a short rib. Nothing against short ribs. Nothing against them. You interestingly brought up that, like, we all have that thing or two that you know made us sick back in the day that we cannot consume anymore gabe do you have one of those i do unfortunately and it's something i used to really like you know that like the thai salad larb l-a-r-b where it's just like yeah sure the there's some i threw that up and uh that dressing which i used to love so much like i can't have anything in that lime dressing that's rough anymore i'm larb free it's easy to avoid obviously yeah sure right it's not like and when you get thai in a big group people want that

not me my uh my dad when i was a teenager ran an ngo that worked in laos where they also eat larb and the co-founder of this ngo was a lao american woman named buntan and buntan lived in minneapolis i lived in san francisco lived in San Francisco. But once in a while, Boonton would be in town to visit, you know, for a board meeting or whatever. And she would come to our house and cook larb. And it was like, she would come from Minneapolis with her, you know, those kind of like knives from a cartoon about a butcher. Yep. Like gigantic rectangular knives and they go clonk, clonk, clonk, clonk.

Yeah. The big cleavers. She would show up from Minneapolis into our front door, because you stay at our house usually, into our front door with just bags of, you know, metallic herbs, a chicken held by the neck, again, as one would in a cartoon, and two enormous knives wrapped up in a towel that she had checked on the airplane. And then she would just go straight to our kitchen. We'd be like, we can cook, Buntan.

You're our guest. She'd be like, no way. And she would fuck up that chicken with these knives. Because if anybody has ever had larb, the pieces of meat in larb are like half a centimeter square. Everything is chopped up into little tiny pieces. everything is chopped up into little tiny pieces and the way that happens is boomton puts a chicken on a cutting board and freaks out the entire house by going working going with both hands and these giant knives oh man it was fantastic fantastic uh my i can't eat this or consume this, I guess I should say, thing because of a puking instance is Red Bull. Oh, yeah.

I had a bad Red Bull habit. I think listeners, longtime listeners will remember. Gabe, for your benefit, I used to work for a TV network that mainly showed action sports. So you're surfing, you're skateboarding, et cetera. And we, you know like how a normal office will have like a coffee machine? Like every break room in this place just had a fridge filled with Red Bull and Monster and Rockstar and all of the foulest variants. Sure.

Like, oh, this is urban assault. You can only get it in the Netherlands. And it's a pale, fleshy color. It's technically a form of prostitution. Right, right. it's technically a form of prostitution right right um and so and so you know i just because of proximity i you know i'd i'd pound one of these things when uh uh you know when when the time was right and you know it just it it turned into a two or three can a day situation. Oh shit.

Yeah. And I, uh, you know, and, and it, it, it got to the point too, where I was, you know, my cocktails were like Red Bull vodka, stuff like that. And, uh, I went up to, we had to do a, do a segment at, at a like snowboard competition in like Breckenridge, Colorado. And I had a bunch of, uh, you know, Red Bull vodkas and, you know, went out to work the next day and was so sick. And I puked in the snow

and it was just this electric yellow puke that colored the snow. You know, like, did you ever have a spirograph growing up? Oh, I loved my spirograph. It was, yes, like someone had spirographed the snow electric yellow with the odd chunk floating around. And, you know, it was kind of beautiful in its way. But, yeah, now every time I like see the logo, the like

acidy, you know, upchuck of that moment comes rushing back. And I don't know if I've had an energy drink since. Wow. There was a period where you had a roommate out of college who was one of those people who drives a Red Bull shaped car. Right car and passes out Red Bulls to people. Yeah, every phase of my life, I've had free energy drinks within my grasp. That's a little something called being a Hollywood insider, Jordan. Yeah, exactly. So I'm getting for free what normal chumps are paying two bucks for at a gas station. I'm living the life.

But yeah, but lucky, you know, I've been energy drink free for several years. And yeah, I've just kind of moved on to heroin. Oh, that's way better. Speaking of how great veins are, gotta find a crunchy vein. Yeah, I love crunching down on a shrimp vein and then finding a nice honker in my arm.

And then just writing a little jazz. Love playing jazz. Gabe, you had a Spirograph growing up. I did, yes. I did or a friend did. I definitely played with it. Like, that's the one where it's sort of like you draw or you drop paint and it's like uh yeah a cool tie-dye spiral am i thinking the right thing no i think a spirograph is the one where there's like cogs

that are shaped sort of like french curves from art class and you put a pen in it or a pencil and you spin it around the circle and it makes a crazy okay mandala well then i definitely know what that is great perfect but i didn't love it as much as i didn't love it as much as i thought i did which was the messy version jesse are those i'm i'm asking someone gabe i don't know if you have kids or not but i was i i don't i was i was gonna ask jesse if like how many how many toys from our generation are still available for a kid? Like can you get Operation for your kids or can you get like Silly Putty for the kids? Yeah, many of the classics are still available.

I would say the most popular thing like that is gonna be Tiny Weaving Project. I don't know exactly how that works, honestly, but like Hand Loom is a very popular with the kids. I think it's maybe a little past its sell-by date at this point, but very popular with the kids. But yeah, all the classics. Operation. My kids love to play Operation and Battleship. Although I have to say, speaking of Operation, my daughter, who's eight, Although I have to say, speaking of operation, my daughter, who's eight, recently announced this weekend. She announced she was going downstairs to play Unnecessary Operation. Oh, boy.

Whoa. And I know this sounds like a bit that I'm doing. This is just an honest thing that happened this week. is just an honest thing that happened this week my daughter went downstairs announced she was going to play unnecessary operation which is one of the most terrifying announcements your child could ever make yeah and it turned out she took one of her stuffed animals and using scissors and a hot glue gun just started like she started by attaching dragon wings to it and it is the most insane terrifying beast at this point it is truly bizarre and upsetting it has a giant sort of c-section scar down its stomach and inside are things you might need whoa um and then it has as i said wings uh she put

like a felt smiley face over its regular face which had a sort of joker-like effect it is truly bizarre terrifying creature that my daughter created i'm very proud of her yeah have you uh i think you should be really worried if she's ever like dad i'm gonna go to play human centipede uh that's a that's a there's a simpsons joke they go to itchy and scratchy land and uh one of the like one of the sub lands is unnecessary surgery land there you go that's probably exactly where she got it because she has been she has been watching a lot of The Simpsons lately, which I realize now is not appropriate for eight-year-olds. But I'm so happy that she likes it. Yeah, I was watching it at eight. I think it's cool.

She'll end up cool. Yeah, that's my hope, too. Like, I'm realizing in retrospect that when, you know, when The Simpsons came on TV in 1989 or whatever, I was eight. And why did my dad let me watch it? Because he wanted to watch it. And he could sort of say, sure, fair enough. Why not let him watch it with me?

I don't know if that flies for like married with children or In Living Color or Get a Life. The other shows that we watched on that evening on Fox. A great night at TV. Maybe you had Herman Tedden there for a while. Yeah, sure. Synchronized Swatches. What's that show called?

Parker Lewis Can't Lose. Oh, Parker Lewis Can't Lose. Yeah, yeah. Can't Lose. I couldn't lose. He's winning all day. gabe how were your parents with the simpsons because i know that you know i think when when jesse and i were growing up i don't know i think you're about the same age as us when we were growing up um i was born in 82 i'm about your age um they were resistant at first because they were like judgmental that um they felt like i was old to be watching cartoons which is weird and they were like come on like they wanted me to watch cheers i

guess which i did um they were not on at the same time um but like you don't want to watch masterpiece theater with us honey yeah they were like oh. But then once they realized it was like funny writing, they were on board. But they pumped the brakes a little bit. Not because of like, you know, bad behavior or anything. It was honestly, they were being snobby. I don't think the idea of like adult animation had ever occurred to them. They learned a lot, though. They loved it. Jordan, your mother is the opposite of countercultural. Yes. Your mother is a very classic loving mother. And I know that I remember you telling me you weren't allowed to watch Pee Wee's Playhouse because it was too weird,

long before Paul Rubens was arrested. Why do you think you were allowed to watch the Simpsons enough to become a total Simpsons nut? Yeah, that's true. I'm crazy for those Springfield yellow guys, you know, the Springfield yellow guys. Uh, yeah. I mean, I think my mom is, you know, again, yes, not a, not a, not a counterculture, not a counterculture bone in her body. Um, but she's just, she's like smart and she likes,

you know, I think she watched it and just like, oh, this is like, you know, she like explained satire to me, you know, and she's like,

okay, so this is, you know, and I think that the thing that bothered her about like Pee Wee or Ren and Stimpy, you know, which was also like a no, no show for us, was that just they were being weird for the sake of being weird.

And I think, you know, she had a hard time finding the value in it. Like, what is this teaching? Is there any lesson to be gleaned from, you know, this stuff? So, yeah, I think that's the stuff that made her wary. I think my mom was the exact reverse, where she did not watch The Simpsons. She let me watch The Simpsons, but I would watch it with my dad,

but would not watch it with my mom. And my mom was just utterly, was and continues to be just utterly baffled by actual jokes that make sense sure but something that is weird for weird sake delights her to the end of the earth so like she loved watching peewee's playhouse more than anything i mean she'll still call and talk to me about it uh whereas anything with jokes is just just it might as well be written in german like it truly she just stares at it like you like this huh like the only thing i've ever heard her talk about laughing at is something like peewee or like maybe monty python but she honestly i think doesn't get a lot of the jokes in monty Python. She maybe just likes that it's weird.

She should check out Mr. Bean, which I've recently started rewatching. Oh, yeah. That's pure. Mr. Bean's pretty funny. Purely just weird, weird, weird. And it's so funny. My dad and stepmother went through such an intense Mr. Bean period. My stepmother is like,

she's an immigrant from Northern Ireland and very contemptuous of America in all areas except for that it, you know, offered her asylum in a time of war. And like one thing that she doesn't like about America is basically any American jokes, except for, as we've addressed on this program, for some reason, the movie Corky Romano, which she loved.

Whoa. I know. I know. I have no idea. I have no idea why she loved that. She just loves The Goon Show. That's her main thing that she loves. You know, the legendary sort of predecessor slash inspiration for Monty Python.

Like, that is her treasured childhood memory is listening to the Goon Show on the radio. But like, and I'm talking about in like the mid 70s. I'm not talking about, but anyway, she and my dad got completely obsessed with watching Mr. Bean and watched every Mr. Bean, like every single Mr. Bean, like when it was on

PBS, maybe? Was it on PBS? Yeah, that's where I first watched it. I think so. Yeah. Loved, loved Mr. Bean. But you're watching it. You're watching it now. Were you inspired by the relatively recent Inspector Mr. Bean spy comedy? I forget what it's called. Inspector Mr. Bean spy comedy. I forget what it's called. Yes, absolutely.

No, there's this one. I don't know. It was my husband's idea. And there was one like vignette that he loved as a kid and he wanted to show me. And the way we found it was by just the show show is made up of like it's not sketches exactly but it's super short episodes with just like a little some kind of a through line but not really uh and we ended up watching a bunch of episodes because it was so surprisingly weird and funny and it was so boring and gross to me i think as a kid on pbs like it didn't make me laugh at all and i thought he was so annoying um and then now it's totally weird and funny it's like oh

right he's not really that person he's playing a character yeah i think he's a lot close rowan atkinson the actor is a lot closer to johnny English in real life. Yes. I don't think so. Oh, boy. I don't know. Has anyone seen Johnny English? Can anyone help Jesse with this bit? I have not seen Johnny English. I haven't. I was just so excited that I remembered what

it was called. Brian, if you're listening and you've seen Johnny English, help! You know what? Let's take a little break. We'll watch Johnny English. Okay.

And we'll come back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Put onion rings on it. Is that the difference? I think sour cream is usually what makes something supreme. But hey, if Gabe wants to put some onion rings on himself, go with God. That's what I say. I'm not judgy. They're very hot. They're burning my scalp, but I think it's worth it. Not straight out of the fryer, Gabe.

Gee whiz. You pat them with a paper towel. Again, I don't want to be judgy, but pat them with a paper towel. I didn't want to keep you guys waiting. This is what happens. Somebody gets a Fry Daddy, and immediately they're dropping some onion rings in there and putting them right on top of their dome. Fucking Fry Daddy amateurs. Okay.

I have a possible... You know how on this show, Jordan, we love recurring bits? Oh, yeah. Let's see. We have our... There'll be so many great recurring bits. Thank you notes, of course. Stupid pet tricks.

Staring contest. Yep. The year 2000. The year 2000. Great car knack, of course. Stupid Pet Tricks, Staring Contest. Yeah. The Year 2000. The Year 2000. Great Carnac, of course. Always picks it up here. The one where we read the lyrics of rock songs from the early 1960s and then complain about rock music. Who's that?

Steve Allen. Oh, that sounds about right. Yeah. Yes, that sounds about right. Yeah. Yes, we do that too. You got any Your Show of Shows stuff that you can drop in here? Boy, man, I'm sorry. I need to watch Johnny English. I need to watch Tonight Show hosts from before I was born.

I got a lot of work to do. So lately, Jordan and Gabe, I have been reading the complete fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm. I bought it at a used bookstore. In fact, I didn't even buy it at a used bookstore. I bought it at a thrift store. Because I thought, they're always talking about how crazy they are compared to the Disney movies that they were made into. Sure. And I always kind of wondered about it, you know?

Yeah, sure. That's like standard party chat that's up there with, you know, Jesus was actually born in the spring, Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Right. These topics that we love returning to. And, I mean, Jordan, you know how I feel about the Ur myth. Sure, you love it. Can't get Ur myth. Sure, you love it. Can't get enough. You're always talking about it.

I mean, Johnny English was a great example of... One of the thousand faces of a hero, Jordan. Right, yes. Man versus nature. Mm-hmm. So this, what's good about this book is, A, I keep it on my bedside table. So if I make it into the bed before my wife does, you know, because she's doing her lady stuff, then I have something that I can read that there's four pages long in that seven minute period. You know what I mean? That's the top

thing about it, is I can just keep it there. I can look at one, shake my head, and be awed. And I always thought that what was weird about them was that they were much more brutal than the versions that we know. Like, I had always thought, you always hear, like, how dark they are. Yeah. But what really it is, is that they don't make any sense. Nothing follows from the previous thing. And they are completely insane. They're also dark. Don't get me wrong. Like there's a lot of people eating their own arms or whatever. Right. But mostly, it's a fucking fever dream times a billion. Right. So I wanted to read a two paragraph selection to you

from the, this is not the best of the best. This is just the best of what I read last night while I was waiting for my wife to come into bed. I was reading about Thumbling. Are you two familiar with Thumbling? No. Is it Thumbelina adjacent? Well, he's also thumb sized.

He's the tiny child of a tailor. Okay, maybe like a Tom Thumb. That's a guy, right? Yeah, he's very much a Tom Thumb-type figure. There's a lot of cows in this one. Of course, there's an innkeeper in here. There's a fox. He has a big conversation with a fox. Anyway, this is from right in the beginning of Thumbling's Travels, which is number 45 in Grimm's fairy tales. Thumbling's been born and he's about the size

of a thumb, is the context for this. He's talking to his mother. Mother, he said, what's there to eat today? See for yourself, said his mother. So Thumbling jumped onto the hearth and looked inside the dish. However, he stuck his neck out too far, and the steam from the food caught hold of him and carried him up and out the chimney. For a while, he rode around in the air on the steam until he finally sank to the ground. Now the little tailor was out in the wide world. He traveled about and began working for a master tailor as an apprentice, but the food wasn't good enough for him.

That's paragraph one. Sure. This is quick and to the point. Some might say this is the first Queeby He floated Just a bite-sized Snackable story I think he's a little

I think Thumbling is a bite-sized snack I can't see the photos But would you say That Daddy Thick or Oh Daddy's Quite thick I mean not so thick but would you say that Daddy thick or? Oh, Daddy's quite thick. I mean, not so thick that he can't float on the steam from the cooking pot, but. I was going to say, that's some strong ass steam. Even for a not thick thumb, you know?

I mean, maybe they were making something with strong steam, like a Red Bull. Sounds like it, yeah. So, Red Bull gives you wings, Gabe. Got it. Okay, so anyway, he traveled about, began working for a master tailor as an apprentice, but the food wasn't good enough for him. Mistress, he said to the master's wife, if you don't give us something better to eat I'm gonna leave tomorrow morning

And I'll write with chalk on your door Too much potatoes Too little meat Bye bye potato king Wow What an insult Bye bye potato king Dumplings are a real fucking asshole

Well I mean Imagine if you were Apprentice to a tailor And the What oh Oh Thumbling Are you on the Mediterranean diet? He wants some

You need Are you in ketosis Thumbling? Bye Bye bye Potato King Yeah Fucking Potato Kings out here

Between the size queens and the Potato Kings. Right. I don't think this character is any example for your children. They're going to expect their boss's wife to cook for them. It doesn't prepare them for life at all. Right. I mean, my wife cooks for my boss, but she always makes casserole and she burns it every time. That's why you never get the big promotion.

Exactly. You love that big promotion. Should we do this Dungeons and Dragons shit? This horny Dungeons and Dragons shit? Yeah. Let's catch people up. Yeah, let's catch people up. And for Gabe, we were wondering for some reason if anyone in our audience had ever combined

a role-playing game like Dungeons & Dragons with sex. And we got some calls last week that maybe didn't quite scratch the itch. They were very interesting. But, you know, I think the calls, you know, were like, oh, we played D&D and then later had a threesome. Or, you know, we played D&D and it had a sexual storyline. And I think what we're looking for is something where the fucking is in character and perhaps part of the story yeah it just seems like they go hand in hand right to me like i would

expect have you ever done have you ever done sex i haven't i have not done sex no but i have done a lot of elaborate role play games no um i haven't played dungeons and dragons but i think it seems cool if that makes sense like i mean yeah it's having a moment it's not like i haven't done it because i'm i think it's not cool it's just i haven't it seems complicated um and it seems like you need a bunch of friends. But it seems to me like the people who would be into that are also like who makes up the BDSM community and stuff. Like, it seems like it would go completely hand in hand. That's a great point. That's a really good point, Gabe. I assumed that it would be like the Renaissance fair where the whole thing that's happening there

is i understand it i haven't been since high school but my understanding is the whole thing that's going on there is people fucking like the falconry and the lances and the handcrafts are all just cover for fucking for sure and we've taught we talked about we talked about that assumption that we had made on the show years ago, and we got ample confirmation. Yeah, that makes sense. There's people who live there at the Renaissance Fair and fuck the whole time. I mean, we've all seen HBO Real Sex. That was our generation.

I mean, it's like that's who is like naked and fucking in fields is people like who seem like they have these crazy imaginations and yeah, wacko bodies and, you know, secrets. And are willing to put in the work. Yeah, exactly. They're willing to do what it takes. You know what I mean? They're willing to organize. If you can put together a con, you can put together a group sex scenario. Sure.

I think probably the people who are doing this, like, you know, they love fantasy worlds. You know, they love, you know, expanded ideas of what a relationship can be. And they also love spreadsheets. Yeah. Agreed. So last week we heard from some people who, as Jordan said, had fucked after a D&D game or whatever. Nothing exactly what we were looking for. Now, Brian says there are new calls this week. So let's play one and see how it turns out. Hello, Brian and Co. I've heard your call for stories of Dungeons & Dragons 6, and while I've never had a D&D group just straight up turn a session into an orgy, I have had quite a lot of private encounters with the Dungeon Master, which sometimes end up affecting the story in the main world. highly recommend it. Orc-elf bondage is a classic, easy way to start. Tiefling prostitute trying to pick up secrets of their

clients, another great one. And then you can get really wacky and wild and end up being nightmare moth monsters or a living meteor and the witch trying to use it for strange purposes.

It's great stuff. I can also confirm secondhand that the Vampire the Masquerade LARPers definitely get into freaky stuff in character. I've heard stories of erotic naked bloodbaths, at the very least. And finally, if you're looking for a new sponsor to guide you through this new era of your podcast, which I think will mostly be about this topic check out tabletopless the uh erotic sex worker dungeons and dragons stream uh yeah thanks for this bizarre use of my day during quarantine

i mean the alphoric thing is almost too obvious to mention. Yeah, sure. A little on the nose. This guy gets it, though. I mean, he's saying it like it's so obvious. Of course, the vampire community is doing naked blood baths. What else would they be doing?

I'd like to all just take a minute and join hands around Living Meteor. What are you when you come, if not a Living I'd like to all just take a minute and join hands around living meteor. What are you when you come, if not a living meteor? Sure, that's, yeah, right. In Latin, isn't it the little meteor strike? Isn't that what they call ejaculation? Um, how do you, how does you think, how does one fuck or be fucked by a meteor?

I guess is my question. I mean, you're either chasing it around or getting completely squashed. I think those are the only. Put your dick in the tail? Yeah. Honestly, both sound fun. I'd take one of each. What meteor, if you could fuck any meteor, what meteor would you fuck?

For me, it's got to be Hale-Bopp. Yeah, Hale-Bopp, of course. Are you guys crazy? Haley's Comets. Have you seen the tail on that? Ooh. Speaking of thick daddies. Yeah. Can't beat the name Bopp.

Come on. That'sdies. Yeah. Can't beat the name Bob. Come on. That's true. Yeah. And also I have some concerns slash questions about the blood orgy. When you're putting together a fake vampire blood orgy, what do you think?

Is it like just corn syrup? Is it Halloween blood? Is it... Do you go to a butcher and just say give me your pig blood? Animal blood, maybe? Yeah, I think it's a carry situation. Okay. They call it

carrying. Yeah, I mean, I just I'm assuming it's just animal blood for sure. Do you think you have a sluice way there or somebody's got to get one at Rent Abyssal? I mean, I think you just do your local butcher. You just make friends with your local butcher. And, you know, you just let them know that you're up for some, you know, you're like, Hey, remember that first scene in the original Blade movie?

Well, me and some friends are doing one of those. And then you get the good shit. And the butcher's like, so what do you want, giblets? He's always pushing the giblets. No, he's thinking of Blade Trinity. That's the one with all the giblets in it. The giblet dance, yeah. Let's hear another call and see if we can find somebody

who has actually done it during Dungeons & Dragons. Hello, Jordan, Jesse Go. This is Monty from Seattle, and I have a story about sex and D&D. When this story takes place, the book of erotic fantasy had just come out. Now, this is an unofficial D&D book that's full of rules about sex, rules about sex wizardry, rules about sex potions, sex magic, all that sort of thing. And I went to the release party, which was in Seattle, at a sex club. It was the best party I've ever been to. Half of the people there were fetish models who had posed for the artwork in the book, and half of the people there were nerds.

When you walked in, the first thing that happened is you were given a character sheet, and then you noticed you were in a sex club. I think everybody, the nerds and the fetish models, really enjoyed it, and I definitely saw plenty of D&D and some sex happening at this party. It was awesome. Thanks. Love the show. That's kind of what we're looking for.

Yeah. I mean, I think this is as close as we've gotten. Yeah. See, those are the Venn diagram of people, I think, that are into fetishy sex and D&D. It's just a perfect circle. I think it's the same is just a perfect circle. I think it's a lot. I think it's the same crew in a good way. Not only do I think that fetish models are nerds,

I think they're like kind of always wanting to tell you about it, sort of like Vin Diesel. Sure. That's my theory. I don't know that I know any fetish models, but my working theory about their cultural position is that they're the kind of nerds that really want to remind you about it, like Vin Diesel. And also, and I think another way that fetish models are similar to Vin Diesel is that, you know what, at the end of the day,

they think it's all about family. You know, I really like this. I would have liked to have known what kind of sex acts were going on. Right. We really, we appeal to so few interests that it seems like an error to leave the prurient interest on the table. So, you know, if you have something to call in on this subject at 206-984-4FUN, I hope that you can be more specific about what went down. It doesn't have to be a longer story. You can keep it pithy. Just make it gross. Yeah, but gross.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, where's the giblets in all this? Yeah, gross us out with your nasty asteroid fucking. Tap that asteroid. God, I'd love to fuck a roid right now. Ooh, get in that tail. Ooh, it's got some interstellar debris.

Oh, yeah. That's where all the sensitivity is in the debris. Yeah. Don't neglect the debris, they say. Okay, this is getting almost too stupid. Even for our show. Disagree. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go.

Hi, I'm Dave. Hi, I'm Graham. And we're two house DJs who have been trapped inside our drum machine. We love it here, and we'd love if you stopped by and visited us every week on Stop Podcasting Yourself here on MaximumFun.org. We're just a couple of doofuses from Canada. And listen to our show or perish. Stop Podcasting Yourself on MaximumFun.org.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. All right, Adam. Maximum Fun wants us to record like a promo to tell people that they should listen to The Greatest Generation. You want to do that? No. I am tired of all the extra work. I just wanted to talk about Star Trek with my friend. I think it would be good to like try and get some new listeners by appealing to the audiences of other shows. Like this will only take a minute or two. It could be good for us. We sit down for an hour every week and talk about a Star Trek episode and make a bunch of idiotic fart jokes about it.

It's embarrassing. If it got out that we made this show, I think it would make us unemployable. Adam, I have bad news for you. We have tens of thousands of listeners at MaximumFun.org. Oh my God. I think I'm going to throw up. The Greatest Generation, a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys

who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. Every Monday on MaximumFun.org. I'm really going to be sick. Every Monday on MaximumFun.org. I'm really going to be sick. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

And Gabe Liedman, guest supreme. A little bit of sour cream. A little bit of sour cream. Or a lot. You can't see. You know, wow. He's a buck extra, but it's worth it. 206-984-4FUN is our telephone number. We ask you to call us when something momentous happens to you for our signature segment, Momentous Occasions.

our signature segment, Momentous Occasions. You can also email us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Here's our first Momentous Occasion for this week. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, Sonny, Dee, and guest. This is Cinder. In a moment of true synchronicity, while I was listening to your most recent episode, I found out that I got my first job as a pro dom. So thanks, guys. Love the show. Cool. Hell yes. Cinder.

Yeah. Okay. Cinder. That's a cool-ass name for a pro dom. That's for sure. It is spectacularly good. It's also, I think, everybody's favorite character from the classic fighting game Killer Instinct.

Yes. Sure. Yes and. Yes. Sure. I mean, if there's two things we love on this show, it's the movie Johnny English and the classic Rareware arcade game Killer Instinct

featuring Cinder, Fulgore, and Sabrewolf. Brian, play the combo breaker sound effect there. Thank you. Do you think that if you were provided with the appropriate stockings, you could be a competent professional dom? No, I don't. I mean, Cinder didn't seem that dominant on the phone. She seemed pretty chill.

Yeah. Maybe she's chill because she's ready to be dominant at any time. That's how she gets you. She knows she's good for it, so to speak. Yeah, I mean, she was just leaving a voicemail. She wasn't working. Yeah, you don't have to be on all the time.

I pay people to leave these voicemails. You guys know that, right? No, I think the chill ones are probably the... I'm going to say this. I bet Cinder is a real talent... I'm going to say this. I bet Cinder is a real talent. I'm going to say it. I got the vibe.

You could hear it over the phone. Yeah. I read recently, I was reading Judd Apatow as a collection of short stories that, and some essays that benefited the A26 Valencia. And one of them in there was by our friend, past Jordan Jesse Go guest, Jonathan Ames. And it was about a time when he and his kid were staying at his mom's house for the summer. And he left for the afternoon

to visit a New Jersey dominatrix and her partner, then realized he was late to meet his mom and kid at the beach. And it was the most incredible emotional roller coaster I have ever been on. Was he, he was going to the dominatrix for services? Yeah, he, he makes it clear in the piece that, I mean, anyone who's ever read any of his books or watched A Bored to Death or Blunt Talk knows that Jonathan Ames has an unquenchable curiosity for alternative sexual acts. acts. But he makes it clear that it's not so much that he's into being submissive as a sort of I'll try anything once attitude, and also I think an interest in what is it like to visit a dominatrix in ex-urban New Jersey rather than, you know, in the heart of New York City or whatever.

Yeah, that's interesting. I can get down with that. Yeah, I mean, I do not think I would be good at this job ever. I'm too much of, I'm too agreeable. I'm too much of a doormat, I think. What about you, Liedman? Do you think you could handle it?

I could do it. I could do it. Yeah. I'm do it. Yeah. Very confident. For sure. For money, yeah. Yeah, money's great. I've done a lot of shittier stuff.

Let's take another call. Hi, guys. My name is Mike, and I'm calling from Raleigh, North Carolina, with a momentous occasion. I've recently been diagnosed with a painful autoimmune disease that's called ankylosing spondylitis. Anyway, the problem was that whenever I was talking to family and friends, I could never remember the name of the disease because it's so long. So I came up with this mnemonic device, thanks to you guys, and I'd like to share it with you now. Ankylosing spondylitis Ankylosing spondylitis Ankylosing spondylitis Kinda like arthritis

Punch a blimp Love you guys, love the show, take care That's fun Yeah, it didn't mention Walton Goggins I was disappointed I thought that it would round back around to Walton Goggins, but... I was disappointed. I thought that it would round back around to Walton Goggins. Gabe, for your benefit, we had a running gag where people wrote songs about Walton Goggins'

vanity vodka brand. Got it. For some reason. Also, I should mention, I have a painful autoimmune disease called Goggins syndrome. Sure, yeah. Man, those autoimmune diseases. No fun.

Yeah, no fun. No. Bad news. You know what? As far as I'm concerned, diseases in general can go suck a lemon. Yeah. I guess why I specify. But like we heard, they can really inspire some great art.

Yeah, that's true. Okay. Well, that was fun. 206-984-4FUN is our telephone number. JJGo at MaximumFun.org is our email address. You don't have to write a song, but it helps. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, on selling your own television show that you created to the Netflix streaming company. Oh, thank you.

That is a real thrill. I mean, you've worked on some wonderful television programs. I've always enjoyed seeing your name in the credits on an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine I'm watching. But this is next level. Well, thank you. It is next level. It's very exciting.

And I hope it doesn't suck. That's the thought I keep having now as we're actually like in the thick of it writing. I'm like, I hope this is good. But it's very fun. You got Sean Hayes involved. How bad could it be? The guy's good in everything. He's so funny.

And he's very nice. He's very supportive. And he's very nice. He's very supportive. He always goes out of his way to say how much he likes the scripts, which I really need to hear, clearly. You said you were mentioning to us before the show that it is a James Bond as like a shorthand, but it's about LGBTQ spies in a sort of fake CIA who have been shunted off to West Hollywood to just sort of fight crime there. But they prove themselves on the national and international stage over the course of a season. It's like an underdog story. We're headed abroad. Hey Gabe.

Oh, we sure are. Yes. French Riviera. Um, no, but, um,

we're more like the Alps, more than we go to Transylvania and we go to the Alps so far. Oh, are they having problems with Dracula's? They're not. I just think it's, I just think it's funny to set stuff there. Yeah.

You're not wrong. Yeah. And I mean, honestly, you put Dracula's in your show, you're going to alienate a lot of people, myself included. I just don't want to see that bullshit. I know. It's fake. Right.

I'm currently, I'm re-watching Buffy right now. This is my third third time through speaking of dracula's oh yeah you're on your third time through buffy and you've never played dungeons and dragons what's going on with you i know i know i'm i'm there for the fashion i think wow because you love giant tan pants right. She does a lot of leather suits. Right. Which is so funny for a 16-year-old girl to wear a full leather suit. I love it.

I screamed. She got layers when she got her haircut between seasons one and two. It is amazing how well she can fight in a plaid blazer over a tank top. Yeah. Well, it was, um, it was good timing in terms of chunky heels.

Um, I think the girls today would have a lot more broken ankles, but it was a lot of sturdy chunk loafer heels. Who's your favorite Buffy? Who's my favorite Buffy? Um, St. Marie,

right? Oh, gotcha. Yeah? Gotta go St. Marie, right? Oh, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's your favorite character on Buffy? Everybody's got a favorite. Some people just love the other lady. Some people love the guy with the glasses. Yeah.

Some people love the one Dracula that is a good guy part of the time, but maybe he switches at some point. They both do, and there's two of them. Oh, wow. A blonde and a brunette. Man, I guess I like Dark Willow. Your fans will know what I mean when I say Dark Willow. Not Light Willow, Dark Willow. Dark Willow is solid.

Did you prefer Angel or Spike? Oh, Angel, yeah. Definitely Angel. dark willow is solid did you prefer angel or spike oh angel yeah definitely angel and his dad is a uh a local newsman where i'm from so that helps really what yeah is it like like johnny borianas yeah basically no it's a different last name i freaking can't even remember his name and dave yeah you didn't want to change your stage name to Boreanaz. Yeah. His name is Stormy Mountain Jr. Exactly. Did you watch the Angel show?

I did a little bit because my other favorite character, Cordelia, was dragged over there. So I checked it out, but I haven't gotten through it. I don't like boys as much as I like girls I want to watch the girls I will say though if you ever want to get back into it that last season of Angel is killer it's so good oh really yeah people I know and trust including you love Angel so I assume it's really good yeah it's it's you know it is it is a mixed bag but real real strong send off yeah some good stuff in there if you ever feel like going great Gabe Liebman it's been a It is a mixed bag, but real strong send-off. Yeah, some good stuff in there if you ever feel like going back. Great.

Gabe Liedman, it's been a joy to have you on Jordan and Jessica. What a pleasure it is to talk to the great Gabe Liedman. If anybody is not already familiar with Gabe's work, I'd recommend getting familiar. Q-Force is coming to Netflix next year. In the meantime, you can follow Gabe on Twitter. And I'm sitting right here. I'm in my own home. I have no reason to lie. I'm not intimidated by

Gabe. Sure, is he a professional dom? Yes. Has he done worse things for money? Yes. Jesse, you're thinking of Sabrewolf. He doesn't intimidate me. I can take care of myself. Thank you very much.

And I'll tell you, he's one of the funniest on Twitter. Get on Twitter, follow Gabe Liedman. You're going to get a few chuckles out of it. I promise you that. Well, thank you. Hey, it's I who thank you. I'm the one getting the chuckles. Jordan, you got anything else or ready to kick this home?

I would love to. I want to know two things. One, Gabe, I have one more question about your upcoming TV show. Oh, my God. Since the jumping off point is West Hollywood, will the characters be visiting the Grove? They will be going to the Grove for sure. I can't wait. We've got a big chase on the trolley wow that is a great grove specific

for the one percent oh and uh yeah maybe i'll mention this uh i uh if you're looking for more podcastable materials um i had a really really fun time on the Go Fact Yourself podcast last week. They've got a, again, one of the funniest shows out there, Helen Hong, J. Keith Van Straten, two of the best. Oh, yeah. They kind of had to alter their format because of all the endorsing that we have to do. They usually do their show live, so they have a kind of alternate, they have a kind of a new format.

It is very fun. I went on it, and they always kind of surprise you with special guests who are from your areas of expertise. And the two guests they got for my episode were really, really cool. Just a total blast. I had such a good time on the show. And it's a great one. If you're not already subscribed to Go Fact Yourself, go check it out. It's one of the best.

I'm going to drop a plug here, too. My friend Lonnie from elementary school and from the Little League team that I played on when I was 6, 7, and 8. Lonnie Odomayer is a musician and music teacher, and I've been taking some ukulele lessons from him, and my daughter has been taking some guitar lessons from him via internet means, and he is offering lessons to anybody who wants them. And right now with all the craziness and he and his wife's day jobs, they worked for the same company and that company just went out of business. So he's offering pay what you can pricing on music lessons. He's a great teacher. I know from having taken his classes and how well he works with my eight-year-old, he's not easy.

So if you want to take them, you can send him an email. His website is Lonnie, L-O-N-N-I-E, O-Music, LonnieOMusic.com. And yeah, book a lesson. He's got a baby about to be born. Let's get some music lessons booked for my friend Lonnie Odomayer. He's a guitar, mandolin, ukulele, and he is a very brilliant guitarist. So if you need intermediate to advanced stuff, he can help you with that too. So LonnieOMusic or LonnieOM at gmail.com. Pay what you can. Pay what you can. Learn something. Use your time. Learn something. That's what I say. Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer on the program. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design, courtesy of the Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Jordan, did you see

that video where the woman from the Free Design sang for light in the attics instagram i did not see that uh she's saying i believe yeah i think she's saying kites are fun but maybe she sang our theme song she sang our theme song brian's telling me she's saying our theme song so look at the light in the attic uh instagram page or check out jordan jesse go on. You can follow us on Twitter at Jesse Thorne and at Jordan underscore Morris. And you can find us on Reddit, MaximumFun.reddit.com. That's it. We hope everybody's doing okay, holding up as best as we can. We love you all very much. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go. Yes, you go.