Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 641: Juggle Hunk with Judy Greer

Episode Date: June 17, 2020

Judy Greer (Into the Dark: Good Boy on Hulu) joins us to talk  about the matching pajamas Judy and her dog co-star wear in her new movie, the fake blood workflow on a horror movie set, and Jesse's powerful aversion to circus performers who are sexy. Plus, everyone contemplates trying to change the meaning of the word "acrimonious." Weigh in on Facebook!And Watch Judy's new horror-comedy, Into the Dark: Good Boy on Hulu! See those matching pj's!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Nice to talk to you, Jordan. Yeah, back in the saddle. It's good to have you back. The episodes we recorded when you weren't here were just awful. The guests were great.

I just said a lot. And, you know, I can't imagine anybody made it five minutes into those things. I'm just grateful anytime, A, I don't have to host the show.

I can just listen to it and enjoy it. And B, anytime I go on the Maximum Fun Reddit and I click on an episode that I wasn't on and no one there is saying, thank God we're rid of Jesse. That is a win for me. That is like my top triumph.

I like the idea that there is someone who doesn't like, I don't like the idea that someone doesn't like you, but I like this fantasy person who doesn't like you but stays subscribed to the podcast for the one or two times a year when you aren't on it. Yeah, well, you know, I mean, they love those nasty ass seltzers. Sure. It's like that Simpsons gag release is like, why would they come to our concert just to boo us? Although I feel like that about the internet sometimes. Like, are like fuck fuck the dc movies and like when you went to see it asshole you'd come on anyway why don't go see it i'm really on the wrong foot jordan seltzer wise speaking of seltzers yeah here's my issue uh my wife likes to have a portable seltzer. I have a seltzer machine.

Yes. A SodaStream? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you know, seltzers were a topic on one of our Jesse-less episodes. Danielle Radford is a big advocate of the, like, I think she has a SodaStream, but definitely personalizing her seltzer was a big deal for her. Yeah, I think maybe there's something bad about SodaStream. Like possibly they're based in the occupied territories or something. Okay.

Yeah, they're powered by blood diamonds, I hear. That's what causes the bubbles. Without getting into the pluses and minuses of Zionism, I will say that I do like- Yeah, the Dr. Bronner's bottle will do that for you. Using my SodaStream, but we're going to run out of juice, and my wife also likes to have a portable option. And so we'll buy some seltzers at the store. And I want to be clear, I'm not one of these millennial, new to seltzer, who isn't this fun people. I've been drinking seltzer since I was a wee boy because my father is a recovering

alcoholic and drank nothing but club soda all day. So I've always been a big seltzer drinker. And here's my thing about seltzer, Jordan. Yes. The seltzer boom in some ways has been great for the seltzer consumer. The past five to seven years, as LaCroix has become the nation's leading beverage brand, is great, just as I'm sure it was nice for peach iced tea enthusiasts when the Snappa lady was always on TV. And great for fans of 120-calorie bottles of iced tea

and fun trivia facts. Exactly. And that's all wonderful, and fun trivia facts. Exactly. And that's all wonderful. And I think it's nice. The facts are on the cap. I think it's nice that there's all these fancy seltzers around. However, sometimes I will say, and especially now when I don't always have my pick of grocery stores, I become frustrated because I believe that a seltzer in a can costs 25 cents. That's like one of my core beliefs. I think if you're paying more than 25 cents for a can of seltzer, you're a chump. And I hate being a chump, Jordan. You know that about me.

Yeah. Oh, I thought you hated being a chimp. No, I love being a chimp. I'm a chimp secret agent like Lancelot Link. And so I have really been stymied because the grocery store that is most available to me in these times in which we live is a store called Food for Less. And Food for Less is like a low-service discount grocer. It's a great grocery store. I love it. It's enormous, and there's plenty of room in there. There's never a line.

I love it. But the one thing is, they only have one brand of seltzer. It's a fancy kind, and it costs like 65 cents a piece. And it steams me every time, just because all my other groceries are what is it is a hundred dollars is it an arrowhead what's the what's called call the brand out drag them drag them king it's some kind of organic kroger brand food for less is corporately related to kroger but they don't have what i want. The simple truth, probably, right?

Simple truth? Yeah, something like that. I'll tell you what I want. Fucking Safeway Select. Safeway Select is what I want. 25 cents. I just want a can that says Seltzer in big letters. How do you feel about a Target Good and Gather?

I'd absolutely enjoy a Good and Gather. Jesse, hold on. I don't care. Listen to this. That enjoy a good and gather jesse i don't care listen listen to this that's a good and gather god damn it god damn it oh i've got a good and gather right here i will say this jordan about 10 days ago i treated myself i said jesse you deserve some of the great treats that are only available at your local Trader Joe's store. And despite the fact that Trader Joe's is cramped and typically has a very long line, I just got up.

I got there at 8.40 in the morning for a 9 o'clock opening, went in, took care of my shopping. They only had one type of seltzer, Jordan. Blueberry coconut. No, blueberry lemonade. Blueberry lemonade was the flavor. Sure. I've had that i i don't hate it i mean i think you were probably dropping more than 25 cents on it but i kind of like the flavor well trader joe's is impressively affordable as always it's in those tall skinny cans which are a little fancy for me i want it to come in a can that, you know, someone crossed out root beer and wrote seltzer underneath with a permanent marker. But I have to say, I looked at that blueberry lemonade.

I thought, well, that sucks. I don't want that. But it was the only kind of seltzer they had. So I just bought two cases. It is weirdly specific. You would think that the Trader Joe's would have basically nothing but seltzer fans that shop there. And the fact that they've gotten into the seltzer game is not surprising. But that being their one flavor is very out of left field.

I like it. I think it's pretty good. But yeah, the fact that they don't have just like a lime is strange. So I took it home, Jordan. I'm in love. Oh, you like the blueberry lemonade? I've got a new love. Sorry, my beautiful wife, Teresa,

but I'm in love with blueberry lemonade seltzer now. Jesse, here's my question. You fucking that can? Yeah. Jesse, you fucking that can? You know how I do it. I put some wax lips on it so that it doesn't cut, you know? Huh. You know what?

It's a pop top. I'll just, I can imagine how that works in my head. I can't quite picture it now, but I'll draw a diagram later. Okay. Should we introduce our guest? I would love to. She is brilliantly talented, beautiful, hilarious, a charmer, a friend of ours, one of our all-time faves, a charmer, a friend of ours, one of our all-time faves, a genuine

movie star, the great Judy Greer. Hi, Judy. Hi. What a lovely introduction and what a fun conversation to listen to before it. This is the positive attitude that we bring into Judy Greer to engender. Judy, are you a seltzer drinker? Have you jumped on the trend of nothing but seltzer? I would like to think, well, I'm not a nothing but seltzer girl, I'll be honest. I do have a soda stream, but I feel like I was in this so long ago that my soda stream was really ugly,

and now they make really cool-looking soda streams. And I feel like that's how long I've liked having a soda stream and having fizzy water. You have one of the old hand crank models. It's an old one. But I think it was the last time I was on this show, maybe. Were we talking about the suckiness of the coconut-flavored LaCroix? That may very well be. Was that with you guys?

It's, it's, yeah, we've, we've been talking about, seltzers have been one of our, listen, Jordan,

Jesse go is basically a reshuffling of six different topics. Yeah. We've got seltzer, Wario. I don't even know the second one. So I'm glad you had me on tonight. Cause I can talk all night about seltzer. Yeah, I like seltzer.

I think it's really great. I think that we shouldn't be buying so many cans of it. When you can make it in your house, that seems like a no-brainer. When my friend lived in Brooklyn recently, she had some delivery service that like delivered the old school like glass bottles. And then she would use them and then put them out. And the dude like picked it up. Like a milkman for seltzer? Like a seltzer man.

A seltzer person. Yeah. Let's not gender the seltzer delivery person. I read a New York Times local color article about the seltzer man of Brooklyn. And I, I was like, okay, well, see you later, sunny skies. Yeah. It makes you like want to be around mosquitoes. Like imagine in the like, like just having that seltzer in those old, but I mean, it's just too much. It was so incredible and I can't stop thinking about it. And I don't know,

you know why that doesn't exist here. This seems like a place that would just like love that. This seems like something that someone on a, on a, on a, like a fixed gear bike with a fixie, a fixie, one of those suicidal tendencies,

baseball hats that are flipped up. That's who should be delivering our seltzer here in LA. And one of the intense chains but thrown over his shoulder. That's how he locks his bike up. I used to see those guys

under bridges in Chicago, the bike messengers back in the day before email and they were so cool. Yeah, those are cool dudes. Our friend Ben Harrison, host of The Greatest Generation, among other MaxFun podcasts, once long ago was partners in a bidders company. He is no longer, and it was an acrimonious split, so I shan't be plugging this bidders company he is no he is no longer and it was an acrimonious split so i shan't be plugging this bidders company but when he was when he was partners in this bidder company one year at christmas my wife and i bought everyone bidders for christmas you know like that kind of like

you're giving out christmas cookies or something we're like we're gonna buy a couple of cases of bidders and then we see somebody around the holidays, we'll bring them some of Ben Harrison's bitters. Now that was maybe eight or 10 years ago. And the leftovers from that round of bitters are now done. I'm at the end of my last jar of bitters that has my friend Ben Harrison's picture on it and making a fizz face or stank face. We call it fizz face in the Bay Area. And I often will accompany my plain seltzer with flavored bitters, bitters. But I didn't want to go to the liquor store, like the big fancy liquor store during the lockdown. I was safer at home, et cetera. I thought this is not worth it. Yeah, this is not worth a trip. So I said to myself, I'm going to go on eBay and see if I can buy bitters on eBay. So I went on eBay and I bought this bitters brand Fee Brothers, which is one of the like

three brands of bitters. They have like 20 flavors of bitters. And I just bought a box of all of them. Because it was by the time I paid the the shipping, the choice was either to pay $20 or $40. And if I got 40, if I spent 40, then I'd have a dozen bottles of bitters, all different. And if I bought 20, I'd have one. Are there any super unusual flavors in there? Aztec chocolate. Okay. What? I don't think I want that one. I'll take that. I mean, there's celery, which I think is useful in cocktails, but I wouldn't necessarily choose to drink by itself. Is there a cucumber one?

There's a cucumber one. There's like a cherry. There's maybe like a blood orange or something like that. I can't remember. There's a mint. I tried mint. Actually, mint was pretty nice. What is bitters now that we're talking about it?

It's poisonous plants. Oh. Soaked in alcohol. Wait, is bitters alcohol? Yeah, it is alcoholic, but you use so little of it that it's legal to sell as food rather than as an alcoholic beverage. And how many – do you just do a little dash of it in your soda water? Exactly.

Although it is also my go-to bar order because I don't drink. So if I'm at a bar, I'll order a bit. That's kind of – yeah, my question. I thought people who didn't drink could get have bitters you can't yeah yeah sure i mean it's like the amount of it's the amount of alcohol that's in like cookie dough from the vanilla flavor you know what i mean oh okay um and uh at a bar once someone served me a bitters and soda where the bitters was basically the amount of bitters that would be the like liquor in a cocktail oh my god like two ounces of bitters

like an extraordinary volume of bitters and it was the most difficult thing to drink. And it was just regular Angostura bitters, which, you know, are like root flavor. Yeah. And it was brutal. It was brutal. And now I'm, I think he, it was like a bartender who was mad at me for not drinking. That's all I can guess. Was it in Los Angeles? Yeah, here in Southern California.

And why didn't you tell him that was unacceptable? Because I'm not in a position to do that. I'm a guest in the bar. He is doing you a favor by taking your money. He probably had an armband and facial hair that made him intimidating. Yeah. And not even taking that much money because like, how much do you have to pay for a bitters and soda?

I guess if he's filling so much, he probably did charge you like for that is something they have these fancy mocktails at my local bar that's since closed, but before everything at closed, but I was sort of like annoyed that the mocktails cost the same as the fancy cocktails. Yeah, I'm fine with it. You are? I think with those mocktails, you are like, they're going overboard on the garnish.

It seems like when those, you know, like craft mocktails always have. Like the smoking sprig of rosemary. Yeah, and like a whole fruit salad around the edge i'm always great judy honestly like as a non-drinker if i'm at a restaurant or a bar that serves a fancy non-alcoholic drink you're so happy which is a thing that has only existed for five years like only since the maybe 10 years, only in the bare Edison bulb era of bars and restaurants has fancy alcoholic drink been available. Fancy non-alcoholic drink been available. I'm so grateful for it every time. I would pay any amount. If they told me $14,

I'd gladly pay. And here's the other thing. When you order, take it from me, a person who's ordered many ginger ale and bitters or bitters and soda or plain seltzer with a twist of limes at bars. You never know what they're going to charge you. They could literally charge you any amount of money. I've been charged nothing. I've been charged $8. Anywhere in there, you're just rolling the fucking dice and you know it's not up on the menu board or whatever. They just make it up on the spot. Do you ever get fake beer if they have it? Do you like that?

No, I think you have to teach yourself to like beer anyway. So if you've never taught yourself to like beer, teaching yourself to like non-alcoholic beer is way more trouble than it's worth. I hear that. Okay. I do sometimes eat a loaf of bread. And how much do they charge for that? You never know. Depends. It really depends.

Judy, you were doing the rounds promoting a pretty terrific movie that I got to watch in advance of. It is called Good Boy. It is going to be on Hulu very soon. It is a horror movie about a killer service dog. Sweet. Who, I will say in this movie, wears many pairs of fetching jammies. Yes, he does. There were so many.

The wardrobe trailer had so many cute, like our little racks, I thought were really adorable. Like they had my rack, which is just regular lady clothes. And then they had Chico's rack. But like every once in a while, you could see that they like had taken some material that they like, they bought like a couple shirts and I would wear one shirt and then they would take the shirt apart and like make little jammies for Chico. You guys have matching jammies at various points in the film. Yes, yes, yes, which I think is important and I'm working on for my own dog in my own real life. That's a key part of cinema.

Anybody who's gone to USC knows that Kurosawa pioneered the technique of having the dog and the star wear matching jammies. Yeah, that's in a lot of film school classes. And also one of the reasons ultimately I decided to do the project was I was promised that I would be in matching jammies as my co-star, Chico. I mean, I think the French New Wave, you know, really taught us a lot. And I think, you know, one of those things, Maison Sen, dog jammies. Yeah.

Yeah. Have you seen, Jordan, have you seen dog Jammies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen, Jordan, have you seen Dog Jammies Mon Ami? Love that movie. Beautiful movie. I mean, that's why I subscribe to the Criterion channel. Judy, I was actually wondering while watching this, and you kind of answered, I was wondering, is Judy Greer a dog person irl why that stands for yes

i love dogs um i try hard to love that i really love dogs i have dog. I've always had a dog. I want all people to have dogs. I want to rescue all the dogs. I want all the dogs to have homes. I want all the dogs to be spayed and neutered. I want so many things for dogs. But yes. Tell us about your dog that you want to make jammies for. want to make jammies for well my current dog uh her name is mary richards um and she is sitting next to me seems like that'll be a senator's name or the greatest character in tv history who's that i don't know the reference mary richards yeah she was married tyler moore's character in the mary ty show. Um, Mary Richards. And you know, this was like way back when, uh, she,

her character, the character of Mary Richards was like meant to get married. She was engaged and she changed her mind at the last second and decided, no, I'm going to move to Minneapolis and, uh, pursue my career and not just become a wife and a mom. And she did.

And it was like groundbreaking and trailblazing and all of those things for the time and the show itself is really good and i love it and i got this little dog um she was supposed i was supposed my dog is named ed asner shut up because he does a lot of theater cruises no my dog's not really you're joking well i did kind of like um i did kind of want to get another dog and name it after another one of the characters from the show but um i could have like a little rhoda or something but anyway um this dog uh this dog i was meant to be fostering her to find her a new home and then i think like um in the twilight books we imprinted on each other like Bella does like the werewolves do with someone and anyway so yeah we couldn't we had to be together I had her for like two weeks before

the big adoption event I was supposed to take her to was on a Saturday and like Friday morning my husband was at work and I like called him sobbing at his office I was like I can't quit her. And so we kept her and adopted her. And then she doesn't like when I talk about this. So I'm going to cover her ears right now because she's here next to me. But she sort of changed a lot once the paperwork was signed. She started not being as into anyone but me as she was in the beginning and there was a lot of aggression um and like she was especially not into my husband at night specifically in bed and oh wow so he would get like sleep attacks. He said it was like being in bed with a Cobra.

And, wow. And sometimes she would, she would hide under the bed and when he would walk from the bathroom to the bed at night, she would nip at his ankles. And then I started making sure she was on the bed and then she would like kind of lunge at him.

I thought for a while of trying to find maybe a used pair of like high like falconer's gloves or something that he could sleep in just hanging outside a red fair until someone throws a pair in the garbage who hasn't who hasn't bought their husband falconer's gloves to wear in bed it's honestly i think it's like year five of like you, the wedding presents you're supposed to like anniversary presents. That's not a bad idea about the Ren Faire, by the way, because I used to hang out outside the tennis courts by the tennis club to get tennis balls for my other dog. So, you know, I could see some falconers gloves being like thrown over a hedge that I could see happening. My wife and I, my wife and I were, uh, in therapy because

we just weren't as intimate as we once were. And the therapist suggested we try getting some Falconer's gloves a little outside my comfort zone. But, um, I feel like you should get a new therapist. That is so weird. Yeah. I, I read, I, uh, my, my, uh, I read about it in my favorite book, 30 Shades of Grey Number Three, whatever the third one is called. Good pull. Thank you. So they used falconer's gloves in those. I didn't know that. Yeah, really hot.

I mean, my wife and I, I i'm not married please just go with this my wife and i we were having some problems and and again and i think the renfair keeps coming up because our therapist told us to just um eat giant turkey legs in front of each other i mean i'm i think i'm doing marriage all wrong, you guys. Isn't there like a sex Ren Faire? Isn't there a new kind of offshoot? Yeah, it's called the Ren Faire. Wait, hold on. Wait, tell us about what you've heard.

I probably saw a billboard for like a more sensual Renaissance festival. Like, do you guys have computers in front of you? Can you look this up? I'm going to type in sensual Ren Faire. Or like a... Jordan, open an incognito window! Oh, my God! Oh, the search is already auto-filling for some reason.

I wonder why that is. Weird. I actually, Judy, I think I maybe know what you're talking about. There is a like Hollywood and Highland, right? If you're getting on the 101 there, there's a Ren Faire billboard that goes up every year. And I will say that I have not been moved by any of the like pandemic advertising that's been going on. Like we're here for you like in these times you know but i did get kind of moved because the renfair billboard that is there every year i mean

obviously they canceled the renfair this year and they still put up the billboard and it says next year at our place and it has two very hunky nights uh of different races and I think that's a beautiful message now. Yeah. It just says, art thou horny? I think it's called the pleasure fair. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it was, right? The pleasure fair. Yes. And I thought that was really beautiful. I thanked the Red Fair in my mind for that beautiful moment. And yes, I hope to experience the pleasure soon.

We have to engage with these moments of grace. You have to. Yeah. Yeah. Are we doing that now? Yeah. I'm feeling extremely graceful. Let's just take a minute.

Hold on. I'm going to take another sip of my good and gather. Store brand. Yeah. Guys, give me a minute. I'm going to watch another episode of Grace Under Fire. That's my moment of grace. Did you, doesn't it make you a little like burpy when you have the seltzer and then you do a radio, like do the talk to each other or no?

I let it out slow and easy. Okay. I think I did make a mistake. I usually don't have any kind of carbonated beverage before we go on, but it just happened to be on the coffee table. So I'm taking my chances. All right. That's cool. I respect that.

Thank you. Your respect means a lot. He's just trying to live his life. I don't know why I even worry about it. You guys are professionals. I also have also, you know, you said the word acrimonious a while ago. And that's one of those words to me that always seems like it should mean a good thing. Maybe we should put in a petition.

I don't know. I think because it sounds like matrimony, but that can for some mean a very bad thing. But I don't know. It does seem like how someone would like you would welcome someone in Deadwood or something like that. Yeah. Or how perhaps how you would welcome someone to a sensual ren fair you would welcome them acrimoniously have you met our daddy knights of many races i sometimes think i i like the idea of changing the meaning of this word

i think this is a good project for us. Everybody needs a project. Some people are working on their sourdough starters. I think this is a good project for us. And I think we can take inspiration from like, in the 19th century, there were these spelling reformers who were mad because English spelling doesn't make any sense and changed a bunch of words' spellings

to many of the American spellings that are different from British spellings are because of these spelling reformers. But they just made a list of words they thought should be spelled better and then got them changed. That could be us. That could be us. You're in Jurassic World, Judy. We can make this happen.

I'm on national public radio. Jordan knows all about lore from Soul Calibur, Dark Souls. Dark Souls. That's the lore i'm into i'm sure soul caliber has an interesting lore i'm sure voldo has a fun backstory but i don't know and i don't kind of like 3d fighters i think they're too mashy this is real lore that you're talking about uh no i think jesse's just making fun of me for having a few accomplishments one of them being uh uh spending a lot of time with youtube videos that explain obtuse video game stories. Jordan, you are, though, our connection to the Writers Guild, which seems like it would be the natural organizing center for this.

Oh, sure. Yeah, I could bring it up at the next meeting. Can we change some other things, too, while we're at it? Yeah, what do you got? Sure. Yeah, I'll make a look here. I'm going to open up a note. I'm going to open up my notes app.

Here we go. Notes app open. Well, I don't know if you can help as much with the other things I want to change. Okay. Uh, what do you, what do you got?

Maybe, maybe we can. I have a lot of connections. Okay. It's easier to show this in person, but you know, in baseball, when they say,

um, you're out and they like make the fist? Yeah. Doesn't that seem like that should be the fist making is more of like a yes, you made it. You're safe. And then when they put their, you know, they do the like their hands, they wipe like they do that big sign with their hands, like the safe sign in baseball. Doesn't that look more like a nope? Nope.

Yeah, you're right. It is. It's a mixed message. What about this for an out? Judy, let me know. And again, I can clear this at the next Writers Guild meeting with President David Goodman, head writer of the Orville, I think. Really?

Yeah. Goodman. Head writer of the Orville, I think. Really? Yeah, so instead of the fist for out, it's kind of a sassy finger wag a la no, no, no. I love that. No, no, no. I love that. No, no, no. Nice try. I'm into this. I mean, I'm also happy to just switch them around. Yeah, just kind of switch, swap those two. Yeah, I think it would confuse everyone but me.

But yeah, I just like when I started getting into baseball, I could never remember why. Like when people were sad when he would slide into the base and I was like, but he just said, yes, you nailed it. Yes. And yeah, so I had to really, yeah. Now I'm imagining you celebrating various, like when you got into your college of whatever. Celebrating it by jerking your thumb over your shoulder. Oh, yes. Yeah. Well, I'm glad we covered that. Yeah. These are going to be some really, there's going to be some really fun changes. Yeah. This is going to be, this is going to be a challenge, but you know where we're going to have to take this, I think we're going to have to start at the bottom. We're going to have to take it to umpire school. Okay. Sure.

There's umpire schools where, you know, hundreds and hundreds of umpires, would-be umpires get together and they really sort the wheat from the chaff. Jessie, are you, I know you don't, are you sure you're okay with going to an umpire school? Don't you hate being an ump? Oh, you, okay. You hate being a chump. let's take a quick break we'll come back in just a second with more of jordan jesse go hey i'm jared hill co-host of the brand new Maximum Fun podcast, Fanta. And I'm Travelle Anderson. I'm the other more fabulous co-host.

And the reason you really should be tuning in. I feel the nausea rising. To be Fanta is to be a big fan of something, but also have some challenging or anti-feelings toward it. Kind of like Kanye. We're all fans of Kanye. He's a musical genius, but like, you know. He thinks slavery is a choice.

Or like the real housewives of Atlanta. Like, I love the drama, but do I want to see black women fighting each other on screen? We're tackling all of those complex and complicated conversations about the people, places, and things that we love. Even though they may not love us back. Fanta.

Maximum fun. Podcast. Meow. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Macho man to the top rope. The flying elbow. The cover.

We've got a new champion we're here with Macho Man Randy Savage after his big win to become the new world champion what are you gonna do now match I'm gonna go listen to the newest episode of the tights and fights podcast oh yeah tell us

more about this podcast it's the podcast of power too sweet to be sour funky like a monkey woke discussions man and jokes about wrestlers fashion choices myself excluded yeah i can't wait to listen neither can i you can find it saturdays on maximum fun oh yeah dig it it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective and judy greer who loves beer it rhymes i know you didn't tell me it had to rhyme but i thought it might impress you it did i'm impressed by a rhyme. Look, I was already on your team. Of course, we've bound together to change the meaning of the word acrimony.

No, we're doing it. I think if we got, Jordan, if we got our friend Helen Zaltzman from The Allusionist, she's a language influencer, isn't she? I mean, if we know anyone who we could label a language influencer helen zaltzman is probably the one she did a ted talk about it there you go yeah our friend helen did a ted talk oh my god that's so cool i would first like to start with a poll to find out if people feel like that word sounds wrong okay let's do it let's put it up. We can have Brian do. We'll put it up. We'll put up two things on the Jordan,

Jesse go Facebook page. We'll put up the trailer for Judy Greer's delightful new movie. Good boy. Thank you. And a poll. If people are kind of bugged by what acrimonious means and they think that we should change it. Yeah.

I have a question for you about good boy, Judy. Yes. Had you done horror before? Why? Yes. I have a question for you about Good Boy, Judy. Yes. Had you done horror before? Why, yes, I have. I was in a film called Halloween, which was a reboot of the famous franchise 40 years ago, starring Jamie Lee Curtis. Columbus Day. No. No? Halloween. People ask me, by the way, people do ask me, when's it coming out? And I don't answer. I just stare at them. I was in a remake of the film Carrie. I was in a Wes Craven vehicle. I like to say vehicle when I'm referring to a super famous director. super famous director.

Cause like he didn't need it. Obviously he, that was called cursed. That was a flop if I may say so. It's too bad. It really had a lot of potential. I don't know what happened. Oh,

I saw cursed. Cursed is pretty good. I liked it. I got to play a werewolf in it, which is amazing. I also was in a movie called stricken a hundred years ago. It was one of my first acting jobs. I doubt anyone's ever seen it or ever could. That was a horror film, but I'm really starting to truly embrace the genre, especially like the genre of horror comedy. I think that is right up my alley. And, um,

I hope I get to do more of them cause it's really, really fun. It does get sticky. Fake blood is really sticky. That's another thing. If you have any sort of like um you know sensitive like uh like sensitivities to stickiness or or that it's not going to be great for you but otherwise it's awesome what are they using for fake blood these days it depends there's it depends on like what you're using it for if you're like if they're painting if they're putting blood on my face because I like had a thing happen to me but like it's a couple scenes later they'll definitely just use like makeup and then they sort of dab on um this like a like a fake blood it's basically like something that they buy at the store but if it's just like buckets of blood

then they make it. I don't know how they make it. We had blood buckets on Halloween and that's where they're just like dump. Like we had a blood bucket. We would just like dunk our hands in or if something needed to be really bloody, just like dunk it in. But that doesn't last that long. It kind of starts to separate quickly. So you want to like dunk and shoot quickly.

But it's less expensive so that's why um we use the good stuff like on our faces and then the dunking blood is yeah uh i i thought that that halloween movie uh the halloween reboot was was terrific i really really enjoyed it thank Thank you. But I was a little personally offended about how two murders that I think you're supposed to cheer for are annoying podcasters. You didn't like that? You know, it just made me feel like perhaps the culture was coming for us. I did go to a party once uh i went to a party sarah silverman i don't know i haven't been invited in a while so maybe she just stopped inviting me but she used to host a party in the summer and there was a big sign outside of the last one i went to that said no podcast solicitation which was the best.

Like oftentimes there's like no pictures. Please don't use your phones while you're in here. But that was like, yeah, that's funny to me. And then they were killed in the movie. That is hilarious. You're right. Sorry about that. Wasn't up to me.

No. Yeah. I mean, Danny McBride wrote it, so I'm going to take it up with him. Yeah. Do it. Judy, have you ever worn like creature makeup? Oh, yes. Well, interestingly, that movie Cursed, I told you about the Wes Craven one.

So that's a werewolf movie. And I'm going to spoil it right now, but it's fine. Whatever. It was years ago. If you haven't seen it, sorry. But it's a werewolf movie. And you find out I am the werewolf. Well, one of the great things about this movie, what was supposed to be so great is that, uh, Wes Craven got Rick Baker to agree to do a werewolf transformation makeup on me

a la like a werewolf in London, like he did that made him so famous all those years ago. So we were going to do this like practical werewolf transformation using werewolf makeup. And since I'm a woman, we were like, you know, it was like a female werewolf. So there was a like a whole new element to it. And, and then I don't really know what happened. That's for gossip. There was a bit of a falling out between some of the higher ups, I was told and Rick Baker dropped out of the movie. And so they ended up doing it like CGI instead. But before that happened, you know, I've been talking a long time to get to this point. I did a test makeup at Rick Baker's studio in the Valley with his assistant who just won an Academy Award. I forget

for which movie. And they turned me into a werewolf using makeup and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life wow it was so cool do you have like a like a vhs tape of it that you could play at christmas or something i know that's how long ago it was um there is a laser disc that we no i'm kidding i there there someone has something it, but it was way before all that. Not that they would have even let me take pictures of it anyway, but it was incredible. And I know that there's pictures of it somewhere. I was so sad that we weren't going to do it that way. Also, by the way, it's like cheating.

It's so easy to act when you look like that I had to basically do my transformation on set in like a very bright green unitard like I've never felt so stupid in my whole life but then after that I did motion capture for Planet of the Apes but yeah so I did this really cool werewolf makeup the only thing that was funny i remember because it was a six hour makeup i brought in back in the day i had like the cds of david sadaris reading his books like audiobooks sure and then i like brought in like i had like all the cds of him because i wanted to listen to him while they did my makeup but he's so funny that i kept laughing really hard and they had to eventually stop it because they were like we're just getting to a point where you can't be laughing anymore when we're doing your makeup it's like these gorv et

al books on yeah yeah so i listened to gorv et al and it was great the makeup looked amazing um yeah it was uh it was was cool that's and then and it did suck that i had to do this space like huge transformation in a grain unit hard although that's and then and it did suck that i had to do this space like huge transformation in a grain unit hard although that's now like i said already motion capture i guess i'm used to it it just at the time would have been really cool to do it with like practical makeup and to work with rick baker who like is a legend what acting job judy have you not had i was not in any yet of the star wars movies I don't think You know, they put Amy Sedaris in The Mandalorian

I think you could get in there Put in some calls Put in some calls Hey, Taika Waititi I know you're listening I think you're making a Star Wars movie Get Greer in there She'd love to be the...

How do you feel about a droid part? Yeah, whatever. Totally. Okay. Yes. They would do it with a mocap suit. Great. I would be okay with that now

because I did it for Planet of the Apes and I get it now. Also, it's different when you're having to wear the green suit and the gray suit. The gray suit is like way more forgiving. The green suit is not. Yeah. This is the kind of show business insider information that people come to Jordan Jesse

go for. Yeah. It's better to wear the gray suit. It's more forgiving. I'm wearing the green suit right now. I should have known. I was just looking at what a chub dub I looked like well it's just that flattering it's so stretchy and tight and shiny you just want the gray suit because you know it's almost like wearing a scuba

suit so it does hold you in a little bit better this is so weird we may have brian edited this out because this is the exact same conversation we had last week with andy circus shut up he's my hero andy circus i love you well when something momentous happens to you like you get to go to rick what's what's the creature guy rick uh rick baker rick baker i was trying to say rick. Yeah. The legendary effects. Rick Baker. In, in the Valley specifically. I'm glad that you added that specific.

That's where all that, that's where all that shit happens. Not in Whittier. No. In the Valley, like in Glendale. Where do you think this was? Pico Rivera?

No, it's in the Valley. It glendale where do you think this was pico rivera no it's in the valley it's on the valley of industry people no give me a break altadena you wish so anyway hey altadena you wish um hey costa, pound sand. You'll never get a famous makeup studio. It's going to be in the valley, baby. Rick Baker. Come on.

I got to go to the, I went to the valley and I went to a Jim Henson warehouse where they stored all the old fraggles. That's, there you go. It's out there in the valley. True story. Out there in the valley, Jordan. Jordan got to go to the valley to the Jim Henson warehouse, jack off on a fraggle.

Oh, oh, oh. Congratulations, my friend. He jacked off on a fraggle. He jacked off on the dad from Dinosaurs. Oh, not the mama. Oh, boy. Well, what else are you going to yell when you're blasting on the dad from the Dinosaurs?

Wearing a set of Falconer's gloves that you got in therapy with your wife. I mean, honestly, guys. Bring it all back around. The prestige. Anyway, momentous occasions, blah, honestly, guys. Bring it all back around. The prestige. Anyway, Momentous Occasions, blah, blah, blah, 206-984-4FUN, or send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org.

Here's our first call. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I'm going to guess Travis McElroy. I have a Momentous Occasion. My name is Bailey, and I just posted my first horny fanfiction on the internet. I've never fan fiction based on a visual novel, which is one of the worst, silliest kinds of fan fiction, and I'm real proud of it, and three people have liked it on my Tumblr.

So anyway, hard as a rock, wet as a river. Oh. I love you guys, and I'm real proud of myself. Okay, cool. Bye. We're proud of you too. Yeah. You posted on Tumblr. No shit.

Wow. Tumblr. Is that still so Tumblr still horny? Yes. Uh, Judy, you've been many beloved characters over the years. Have you seen like fan art or fan fiction of a character you've played?

Yes, I have. Uh, some of it is disturbing uh very disturbing um one person drew the most beautiful picture i've ever seen but then it got probably shouldn't even say this it's somehow this person sent it to my actual house i don't know how they got my address so i couldn't even post it or anything because like if something comes to my house i throw it out and then i open it to see if there's money in it or anything but then i throw it out and like it might be it's your birthday your auntie might have sent a card right or if they did like a self-addressed stamped envelope i'll just put like a different address on it and send it to one of my friends because like they shouldn't be sending things to my house.

I'm just kidding. I've never done that. I just thought of doing that now. And it's a really good fucking idea because then I wouldn't be wasting stamps. I could like send my grandma like a bunch of cool headshots of myself anyway using someone else's money. See you at Christmas, Judy. Like normally that would be this is what I still look like, I swear. I normally would post something that beautiful

on a social media platform, but I couldn't. But it was really great. I get a little jelly sometimes. There seems to be, I don't know if you're familiar with Archer, a lot more Pam tattoos than Carol, Cheryl, Charlene tattoos. And like, and so when we go to cons and stuff and I meet fans, there's like people, I feel like Pam tattoos really lend themselves to the back of the calf. I've seen a lot of that. And, um, so that makes me jealous when I'm like, I can't believe someone's like not tattooing my character but i don't know pam is pretty awesome i'm not gonna lie okay fine i have a pam tattoo okay i didn't want to say it

there are no pam tattoos in my family uh but there is a tattoo style Cheryl shirt in my family that belongs to my wife. Okay, I'll take it. Now, she also has a Pam one. I'm not going to lie. She's got two. Amber Nash deserves the shine as well. She does. And by the way, I'm happy to be in the same...

I'm happy that she has both of us. I just sometimes, I'm not going to lie, I get a little jealous when there's so many Pams out there all dressed up and then like if you're hey if you're out there and you're an archer let's see those tunt tats tag us tag us in your tats oh my god hashtag oh lucky's gonna be really excited about this development when i tell him later archer's good yeah archer's the best love it love it love it i'm very uncomfortable with my uh romantic interest in uh those cartoon characters makes me very uncomfortable that's something i never thought i would experience uh don't like it uh but it's funny enough that i still watch

thank you it's the only show you watch wearing your Falconers gloves, right? That and The Week with George Stephanopoulos. Those are the only two shows that he watches while he's wearing his Falconers. Judy, I put the Falconers gloves on for the news hour. Stephanopoulos, you Greek god. He just gets handsomer. I don't understand it. He's like Steve Martin.

Judy, if you could write horny fanfic about any fictional property in the world, what horny fanfic would you write? Oh, boy. fictional property in the world what horny fanfic would you write oh boy uh fictional property horny fanfic i mean i guess i would maybe i think i might circle back to the mary taylor moore show does that count yeah i mean we and of itself horny fan fiction? I think it basically is. But the only Twilight thing that I've ever experienced was I watched on YouTube one of the Twilight movies has a vampire baseball scene. That's very beloved among baseball fans for being the most absurd presentation of baseball on film ever. Including that one orangutan movie with Jason Alexander.

You know what? Speaking of football, I recently watched, I rewatched MASH. Uh-huh. The movie? Yeah. Why is there like a full length football game Uh-huh. The movie? Yeah. Why is there like a full length football game in the middle of that movie? Like, is that new for like a new release or something?

Like, I don't remember there being like. No, that's always been in there. That's Robert Altman's specialty is he weaves those stories together along with some really long, boring stuff i remember my dad was a big like bond fan and like sat me down to like oh now you're gonna see a real movie and like we watched golden eye and like they just play a full game of golf in that uh yeah oh no not golden eye i'm sorry um gosh what's the what's the most beloved bond movie goldfinger oh? Oh, one of those. Yeah, Goldfinger. Is that Austin Powers?

Yeah, I think it's Goldmember. Goldmember. Okay, there you go. Goldfinger is such a- And one of the Sean Connery Bonds. They just play a whole game of golf. And I'm like, it's 1992. I've seen Van Damme movies.

This fucking sucks. Like, what? Why are they playing a whole game of golf? But at the time, it was just like, you know, his clothes were made by, I don't remember who, Norton and Sons or something on Savile Row. But it was just because that was who made Sean Connery's clothes. And I think that probably this is the same thing. Like Sean Connery said, I want to play golf now. And they had all the cameras set up so they're like all right we got to do what he says yeah I've recently worked with an actor who wanted a new tuxedo so he pitched a scene in our tv show where he would be wearing a tuxedo so that he could get a new tuxedo wow yeah that's a power move that's what when I hosted a television show many years ago,

I got paid $300 an episode. I'm so sorry. And so they, they were like, they were like, we're so, it was, you know,

it was fun. It was fine. I have $300 counted to me at the time. So I was glad to have the job, but I was getting my 300 an episode we'd shoot two back-to-back so i'd get 600 and they would feel bad that they were only giving me 600 i'm like well i'm still getting paid 600 for three hours work you know but like the one the one inducement they gave me they were like our wardrobe budget is a hundred dollars per episode we can

just give you that hundred dollars if we don't have to buy any clothes for you and i was like that was that was it i bought a nice uh i bought myself a nice piece of filson luggage with that money filson is lovely yeah it's good stuff good stuff that's how you you got a scheme you got a scheme i always steal my bras and underwears and socks i do sometimes take those home because also like they're not going to be wanting to put that on other actors i know they're just going to be discarded or burnt or something right or hung on the wall at planet hollywood where the stars eat is there still a planet that was i bet there's one in like Dubai. All my underwear is up at the All Star Cafe.

Okay, let's take another call. Okay, good. I don't want to say where mine is. Rainforest Cafe? I love it. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and August, James, Arthur. Close. First off, thanks so much for your podcast. I am a new Jordan Jesse goer and I'm delighted how this show makes me feel like I have loving friends in my ears. So

thank you. But I'm actually calling with a momentous occasion. I was out for my daily quarantine walk. I was actually listening to this show when I was compelled to pause the show because I heard singing. So I turned around and saw a man on a bicycle pedaling in my direction. He looked around 70, 75-ish. He was extremely svelte, fully clad, head to toe in that sleek, tight, what's it called? Like spandex cycler gear. And he was singing.

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. So with everything going on in the world, that man singing made my Made my day shinier and more momentous than I had ever hoped for. Okay. Bye. I love you. Love you, too.

These moments of grace. It's the moments of grace we were talking about. It's why when things get tough for me, I just lean on Brett Butler. Brett Butler. I am so fascinated by people who know other people's ages so definitively We have an unusual thing in my neighborhood that I've noticed on my fucking dumb little bullshit walks that you have to take every week Do you know about these walks, Judy? The government has us taking these little walks This is something Jordan pointed out to me

You think this is a government thing? Continue. Yeah, fucking Fauci's riding my ass. Dude, take your walk. Ooh, you gotta walk around. Ooh, you do it every night and that's fun. That's just what fun is now. Little fucking walks the government wants us to take. It's like, hey, I'm my own man.

Thank you. How are you? I've read newsletters okay i know things you tell me to take a fucking walk but you know what at the end of the day i go on the little fucking walk government told me to i'm a rule follower do you go on your walk by yourself i'll just go on a little fucking walk you know i'll take my dog or my kids or whatever you know i mean like weren't you walking your dog anyway i'm so confused by the people who are walking now and they're like i take a walk every day i'm like didn't you always here's the thing judy these days so previously a lot of people were walking their dogs a lot

of people were walking for health now the fucking government says you got to take a little fucking walk every day. So they've changed. They've taken over our walks. Fucking the government. Something I've seen on my dumb little bullshit walk in my neighborhood. We have in this. And I've had to gawk at this person because I can't believe it. And I'm pretty sure I don't think he's a mirage. We have a juggle hunk.

There is a guy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There is a guy who goes out on his lawn and juggles who is a fucking stunning hunk. You know how I feel about circus skills, Jordan. I feel the same way. We went to the same college and were subjected to the same fucking

unicycle riding devil sticks enthusiasts. This, right. Because when you think juggler, you're like, okay, like dirty ponytail, like weird strappy sandals with socks. Juggler, right? This fucking juggler is, he looks like his name should be Torstein or Sven. He was like a nine foot, sweet, like a beautiful knight from Game ofones who just happens to be juggling and every

time i walk by he's like hey neighbor and it's so fucking hot and i'm like what's that why why are you good at juggling and also like a nice handsome guy does he say hey neighbor he does say hey neighbor and it's so nice and i love it it makes my my goddamn... Does he have an accent? No, he does not have an... I mean, in my brain, it's, hello, neighbor. It's like a... It's like a tectonic thing. He sounds like someone that could build himself a house.

Yeah. Or at least a yurt. A yurt. Totally. Nothing makes me madder than a person with circus skills who's getting me horny. Yeah, I don't like it really nothing it is such an affront with all the unrest that's happening

as a public radio host i'm not allowed to speak publicly about the unrest but i may my opinions about it but i may i and i may get fired simply for saying the truth about sexual circus skills. Okay. But the reality is it's an affront. It is an affront to me and what I believe in. is disgusting when someone is doing trapeze or whatever and you accidentally notice that they're attractive because you're trying to shun them in that time for having circus skills but like okay so this is something my therapist would say to me i'm you in this situation okay i'm like and then they're fucking juggling and they're hot and yada yada and my therapist would say to me i'm you in this situation okay i'm like and then they're

fucking juggling and they're hot and yada yada and my therapist would be like okay well like how often does this happen like how often do you see people doing circus skills are you familiar with a circus called cirque du soleil then why are you going with. Because I'm a contemporary American. Sometimes your aunt is in town. And you got to take her. And it's majestic. We know a guy who's in Cirque du Soleil. He used to be in a sketch comedy group we used to do shows with called 10 West, a brilliant, amazing sketch comedy group.

And he's a wonderful man. His name's John Monastero. God bless him. He's a wonderful, wonderful name's john monastero god bless him he's a wonderful wonderful man but i resent his circus skills he's good looking too he's a looker they they have a whole cirque du soleil just to make me horny and mad it's in las vegas it's called Hornet or something Le Hornet no it's not that one and they all wear those they wear those unitards but I think I haven't seen the show but I think

it's just the unitards but they cut out the nips and the cooch area or dong area I saw like more it was sort of like a circ meets burlesque show and it was fabulous that sounds pretty good that would that would be a pretty good show and and everyone was very

attractive and there was circus skills the girl who i'm friends with angel perino she's a real life show girl and she tap danced inside of a giant lady-sized balloon with tassels on her nipples. That's genuinely impressive. It was. You know, Jessie, I think what I'm seeing here is that Judy has a really circus-positive attitude. And you and I seem to have a lot of shame around the circus. Yeah, that's true. And I think that once we realize that, you know, maybe what the culture tells us isn't always true, we'll be a lot more happy and a lot more comfortable being our true selves.

So I just want to take a minute and acknowledge that the circus can be sexy. I have an idea. I have an idea. I have an idea. What's your idea? Do I need to wait until the minute is over? No, you can do now. I yield my time to Judy Greer. Is your idea that we should whisper from now on

because that's a good idea? It's fun. Well, I just didn't want to get in trouble because I know we were taking a minute. Oh, that's okay. I was just like, I figured a thing. Okay. You guys, I feel like maybe you might need to have one of these sexy circus performers on the show. Well, we have had sexy circus performer Matt Ricardo on the program before.

He's the one circus performer we've ever had on our show. Isn't that true? Have we ever had any other circus performers or people with circus skills, Jordan? Boy, I don't think so. We had that sexual hypnotist that one time. Oh, yeah, we did. That was awesome. We could have, sometime we could have my high school physical theater teacher, Jeff Raz. Uh-huh. No, He's a professional clown. I think you're right. Was he sexy? He's not a bad looking man. I think you're right. I think we need to confront this prejudice head on. I think that once we meet and talk

to a sexy circus performer and learn that they're not that different from you and me, we can start to live our truth trying to build bridges do you guys ever do live shows because that might be a good opportunity to have this guest on that would be yeah we you know yeah we i mean we uh you know obviously we're not we're not we're not playing out these days but but once, once it is safe to congregate again, yeah, Judy Greer, if the next show in LA, we do,

we will come to you for sexy circus contacts. Yeah. When that happens. Yeah. I mean, that was the exact context where the erotic hypnotist came on our show. We'll do, and we'll get angel Perino to come.

That would be amazing. I would, I would love that. I think our, our, I think our audience would love that. And if it's anything like the sexual hypnotist, she can make men bring us McFlurries.

That was awesome. Actually happened. Oh, I forgot that she made somebody make her slave bring us McFlurries. That was great. That was great. That was good. Man, McFlurries are good. Yeah. I like Blizzard's best.

Yeah, they're way better. The ice cream. Oh, the Blizzard is from Dairy Queen. Yeah. I like, I mean, I'm never going to be mad at an Oreo cookie either. Yeah. McFlurry or Blizzard. No, I'm going to say Blizzard, Twisterister mcflurry but i'm not gonna turn any

of them away especially when a sexual hypnotist forces a sub to bring it wait you guys know that like all over manhattan i mean maybe not right this second but like before the like let's just say last year there was like men locked up and tied down and like, like dominatrixes have offices everywhere. Oh yeah. And, and, and I didn't know this. Even in the Valley? They don't have offices in the Valley. They don't need to, but like they, but like there could just be like a man like with a gag in his mouth like in a cage in an office building and like burbank potentially which yeah okay that's the valley so yeah yeah like if you just see like the husk of a closed down toys r us and you're like oh shame toys r

us went out of business i wonder what's going to be there it's probably already a dungeon yeah man i read i read just recently, I cracked open, Judd Apatow edited a book of like his favorite short stories called I Found This Funny. And most of them are not funny. It's a real kick in the pants if you're looking for only funny things.

But one of the ones that is really funny is past Jordan Jesse Go guest, Jonathan Ames, wrote a piece about being like I think he's like home from college in New Jersey uh and he has a no it was when he was it was like he had he has a kid who he had very early in life like when he's like 19 or 20 and his kid was like four he was he and his kid were staying with his mom in New Jersey, and he was supposed to meet his mom and the kid at the beach that afternoon after a morning of writing in the library. But

when he was in the library, he opened the newspaper, saw a local classified ad for an independent dominatrix, and just called her on a whim. And it is the most delightful fucking thing in the history of the world. I mean, everything about Jonathan Ames is delightful. He's a delightful man. But it was a real hoot and a half to hear about this like ex-urban, you know, maybe suburban,

but I think ex-urban sort of rural New Jersey, Jersey Shore dominatrix who aspired to open an office in New York City. It's just a delight. It is a delightful story. Recommend it. Did he take his child? No, no. He meets his child at the beach later. I'm very curious. Thanks for this. I'm going to check it out for sure. And I think this is a really good time to just kind of take a minute to appreciate your local independent dominatrix. Independent dominatrix.

Thank you. And I know people are talking about now like support independent restaurants. Indie bookstores. Indie bookstores. Sure, they need you now more than ever, but what about your Indie doms? Why not get dominated over the phone? Sure.

Why not get fin-domed? Fin-domed. That's financial domination. We learned about this from the Arachipne test. I'm going to have to look at that show in the history yeah that's like where you give that's where you like give your give your dominatrix all your passwords really yeah and they lock you out of your life they like well they like just take withdrawals from your bank account whenever they want. Oh,

I want to be a dominatrix. I know. Don't we all, but wait, isn't that called stealing or no? I think it, I think it is technically called stealing, but Judy, but please,

I beg you remain independent. Don't sign up with one of the big corporate dungeons. I'm not. No, you're right. Nobody needs another McFlailing. I only like to be dominated with discarded McDonald's wrappers. For me, I'm more of a Foster's Freeze guy.

But to each their own. I just think the ice cream is better. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse go. It's Jordan, Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Judy Greer, who is here? Another solid time. Really solid. No, I hate myself.

This is really good. I hate myself. Judy, what a joy it is to have you on the program. It's always nice to talk to you. I hope that in these difficult times, you're keeping up with your fitness trampoline. Yeah, dude, every day. I can't get enough. I'm still obsessed with it. I'm staring at it right now. By the way, I have two of them now in case anyone wants to come over and do it with me i have a second one because it's

so fucking fun this sounds like i mean this sounds like this sounds like another great act for our our impending live show that's going to happen as soon as it's safe to to to congregate la live show with um a sexy circus performer yes and. And Judy Greer, trampoline fitness. On my trampoline. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so glad you asked.

I'm telling you, the videos just get better and better. I feel like I'm getting better and better. I'm still not comfortable totally trampolining and jumping up and down in a circle, but I'm working on it. It's so fun. And I believe it's keeping me healthy.

Judy Greer, the new movie is on Hulu, right? Yeah, there's a series, the Umbrella series is called Into the Dark. And each episode, they have an episode once a month and it's always tied into a holiday in that month. And they're kind of evergreen. They're standalone episodes, basically like TV movies that you can watch. And ours is for National Pet Appreciation Day. It's called Good Boy. And it is about a single woman who hates her life and gets an emotional support animal that supports her a little too much.

But that sounded sexy. But it is sexy because I'm in it and I'm so sexy. And I mean, I mean, the sexiness of the cast doesn't just stop at you. There's also some great performances in this thing by Maria Conchita Alonzo and Steve Guttenberg. Yes. Steve Guttenberg is funny he's funny he's really good in this is he still super yoked he was super yoked for a while you know i didn't see him without his clothes on um he seemed confident physically so i he's probably he's

probably yeah i hope he is i hope he is i'm gonna jordan. I'm getting Jordan. Take a note. Gutenberg's yoke. I closed the notes app. So let's try to remember. Judy, I will. I want to wholeheartedly recommend that our, our audience check this out.

I thought it was so delightful. It's so cool. It's so funny. Legit scares. It's definitely like, like if you like, if you like a gremlins, if you like a slither, if you like a funny horror movie, this is perfect.

I couldn't have enjoyed myself more. Thank you. I'm too scared of horror movies, so I'm just going to watch this YouTube show that I found where a guy walks around New York and he points out cars that he thinks are neat. Is that the show my dad is doing? Because I feel like that, you even use the word neat you would be so good on that show um i i just want to say uh uh judy thank you for being thank you for being such a delight i knew you would it's one of the reasons one of the reasons I'm here and things have been super, super tough in my family lately, health-wise. I'm sorry. The toughest, basically, that they've ever been in my entire life.

No one has COVID. But I want to thank Jordan and Brian for filling in for me and for being such great friends. And I just, I want to say like, it may be that these situations might keep me out of the show at some point in the future. We'll just see how it goes. But it means a lot to me to, and it meant a lot to me to have this to look forward to doing. If people out there enjoy listening to it, just know that it's like, it's, it's one of the great pleasures of my life to do and, um, to get to, to get to talk to my friends that I love. So, um. We're glad you're back, buddy. We missed you.

The listeners missed you. We're glad you're back goofing around. Having some fun, getting your mind off some stuff. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. having some fun getting your mind off some stuff yeah yeah exactly uh our producer brian sunny d fernandez um uh judy grier our guest on this week's program you can find us on reddit at maximumfun.reddit.com where you can chat about this week's episode you can also like us on facebook you can follow us on twitter at j underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne, where I

posted a link to the YouTube show where the guy wanders around New York and then points at a car and thinks it's neat. I've also been watching the 1989 National League Championship Series. So that's where I'm at emotionally. That's my bandwidth right now. And thanks, everybody out there. A lot of folks said nice things to me. If you're out there and you're hearing this now, you're freed of the responsibility to say anything nice to me.

Many nice things have been said. But thanks, everybody. And I'm happy to be back and happy to be on the show. nice to me. Many nice things have been said. But thanks everybody and I'm happy to be back and happy to be on the show. You guys are the greatest. It's a real honor and a pleasure to do the show with you

and do the show for you. Addressing my friends Brian and Jordan. Addressing our friends, the listeners. Leaving out Judy. Don't like her. That's about her. I thought I was delightful. Leaving out Judy. Hello. Don't like her. That's about her. I thought I was delightful. Too much trampoline talk.

I brought it up. I thought it was a great amount of trampoline talk. Judy, you're the best. Show us those tunt tats. Show us those tramp tats. Oh. Yes. Okay.

I like these ideas. A tramp stamp doesn't just have to be a lower back tat. It can be a tattoo of a trampoline. Dude. So are we also accepting tattoos of Charlie Chaplin's signature character, the tramp? No, the dictator only. Okay. Great dictator.

I don't know. Yeah, the great dictator. Okay, we'll talk to you guys next time on jordan jesse go maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported