Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 644: Super Sloppy Rachel Maddow with Alison Rosen

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

Alison Rosen (Alison Rosen is Your New Best Friend) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of why Alison's ideal celebrity neighbor is Mandy Patinkin, Jesse's Big Kid Movie Night getting ruined by Tr...on, and Jordan's top three animal butts. Plus, Jesse remembers his dad. Read Jesse's Dad's lovely obituary in the SF Chronicle here.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey folks, it's Jesse, the founder of MaxFun. Since we postponed our annual MaxFun drive in mid-March, we have gotten a lot of questions about if and when we'd be rescheduling it. And honestly, we've been asking ourselves the same thing. Well, now we have an answer for you. The 2020 MaxFun drive will start on July 13th. That's coming up soon. We decided to have the drive now because it's always brought a lot of joy and excitement to our community and certainly to us. And to be totally honest, it's also the main source of income for some of our hosts. Like pretty much everything right now, this year's drive is going to be a little different. We'll still be bringing you very
Starting point is 00:00:39 special episodes, fun community activities, premium thank you gifts. But we also know it's a weird time and for some folks a really difficult one. Some people are in a position to become new or upgrading members, others can't right now, and that is okay. We'll have ways for you to support MaxFun at every level, including some ways that won't cost you anything. We're also going to run the drive for four weeks instead of two. We didn't think it was a good time to be rushing anybody, and having a longer drive lets us be a little more low-key in our drive pitch. It also gives us more time to do fun stuff,
Starting point is 00:01:13 like the weekly live streams we'll be putting on for charity throughout the drive. Most importantly, we want the 2020 MaxFunDrive to highlight all the ways we support each other and our communities. MaxFunDrive to highlight all the ways we support each other and our communities. We also want to show how grateful we are to you for making all the work that we do possible. Stay safe. We'll see you July 13th for the MaxFunDrive. Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sex and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Jordan Morris here with an erotic update. Thank God. I have been on, Jordan, I have been on tenterhooks. Now, do I know what tenterhooks are outside of the context of the phrase on tenterhooks? No, I certainly don't. It's how you, uh, it's how you, when you're deep sea fishing, how you catch yourself a tenter. I always imagined they were the things that like a side of beef hangs from in the scene where Rocky is in the freezer punching a side of beef. Right. Yes. Those might be tinter hooks. That does sound erotic, by the way.
Starting point is 00:02:27 That sounds like something that someone is using erotically. By the way, I cannot get anybody to match with me on tinter. Maybe it's my photo. Maybe I don't love adventures enough. I mean, I hope you like glamping, at least, minimum. Yeah, big glamper over here. So, Jesse, you were not here last week. We're glad you're back.
Starting point is 00:02:57 We're glad to have you. I am. Brian is. The listeners are. Don't speak for the listeners. You know, I won't. I won't speak for the listeners. know i won't i won't speak for the listeners they have their own opinions they're their own people they can do whatever they want to look you and brian are my friends i believe that listeners let's call it 70 30 um so i last week i was talking about seeing a discarded pile of self-help books on the on the street.
Starting point is 00:03:30 I don't know if they were placed there, but they seem to me like they had been flung there. I know you can't. It's hard to talk about intent when something is just laying on the ground. But to me, it seemed like they had been flung there angrily. Right. So pile of self-help books uh you know lean in um etc etc but on on the top was a copy of the kama sutra oh the famous book of fucking yes and so i don't know if that qualifies as a self-help book i mean you certainly you know it is helpful in a lot of ways and also helpful you know yourself and others let me tell you this jordan i think we could all use a little
Starting point is 00:04:12 help with our fucks sure yeah well who are you what oh you think you know everything about fucks yeah you think you're nasty you don't. I'm talking to the listeners now. You think you know everything about fucks? You don't know shit about fucks. I specifically want to address legendary screen star Warren Beatty. Hey, Warren Beatty, I know you did a lot of boning in the 70s, but you don't know everything about fucks. There still leaves for you to overturn. Does Dick Tracy hold up? We don't know everything about fucks. There's still leaves for you to overturn. Does Dick Tracy hold up? We don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:48 We haven't seen it since we were 12, but maybe it doesn't. I'll tell you this, Warren Beatty. Bullworth almost certainly does not. I'm not going to speak to Reds. I bet Reds probably holds up pretty well. I watched Shampoo recently. I thought that was very good. No, I've been meaning to watch. Reds. I bet Reds probably holds up pretty well. I watched Shampoo recently. I thought that was very good.
Starting point is 00:05:07 No, I've been meaning to watch. I've been circling Shampoo. I'm like, maybe I should watch this thing. I'm going to tell you this right now. I'm going to say that rapping Bill Clinton movie, Bullworth, in which an analog to Bill Clinton ran for president and started rapping, probably doesn't hold up yeah you know it's just a product of its time uh but so i walked by i walked by the pile again today i walked by the pile of self-help books and they're kind of they're they're mostly still
Starting point is 00:05:42 there but i can tell that you know they're kind of getting picked over and obviously this is a weird time we're in if you're a bring in something you found from the street person yeah um which i have been in my life um you know i've i've certainly scrounged from a corner for stuff but um um you know obviously there's health issues now um but the self-help books are getting picked over um and today the copy of the kama sutra had been picked up so someone in my general area is um hopefully doing some more gymnastic fucking than they have. But hopefully they've also disinfected it appropriately. For many reasons. There's many reasons to appropriately disinfect a secondhand Kama Sutra.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Let's introduce our guest on the program before we get too much deeper in. She's an old friend of Jordan Jesse Go, and she's your new best friend, podcaster Allison Rosen. Hi, Allison. Hello. Thank you so much for having me. I have been on tenterhooks to jump in and discuss tenterhooks, and I was going to say, yes, Jesse, it is a meat hook. That's always been my understanding however while you guys went off on your shampoo bulwark thing I looked it up and here's I was
Starting point is 00:07:12 wrong and so were all of us I think the phrase on this is from Miriam Webster the phrase on tenter hooks means waiting nervously for something to happen. A tenter hook is literally a sharp hook that fastens cloth to a tenter, a frame on which cloth is stretched like a tent for even drying to prevent shrinkage. The phrase compares the tenseness of the fabric to the feeling of being very tense. I know that this podcast is kind of like anti-information, so I hope I haven't just dropped too much science on your listeners.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Yeah, Brian, cut out all those facts, please. And replace them with jokes about Waluigi. I had no idea. We've all learned something. Yeah, no, that is fascinating. I didn't even think about tent as being the root word for tenter. Yeah. Me neither. Let me ask youer. Yeah. Me neither.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Let me ask you this. Lay it on me. Do you think Waluigi uses a green condom? Waluigi isn't, he's purple. Oh, he's purple. His color scheme is purple. Regular Luigi is green. Oh, God damn it.
Starting point is 00:08:21 No, that's okay. Brian, go back, edit that, and switch the syllables around or whatever it takes to make it make sense. Yeah, make sense. I don't know who Waluigi is, so I'm going to pretend. I'm just going to go past that, and I have a question. What? He's the evil Luigi.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Go ahead. But on what system would I be finding Waluigi and his condoms? Nintendo. Yeah, he's a nintendo fuck box i think i've been using it wrong anyway i feel like recently i was somewhere and someone said something which suggested to me that they assume that everyone has a copy of the kama sutra like that's just sort of like your entry level sex fuck book well i don't own one it depends allison mine came free from the gideons just one day i opened up my bedside drawer and there it was
Starting point is 00:09:17 oh imagine if that were there instead of the bible and like a flashlight that you can never get back into its holder. An emergency flashlight. I had a, I've talked about this on the podcast before, but I, a few years ago, went to Nicholas Cage's estate sale. But he's alive. Yes, alive, but with horrible tax problems. Oh, right. Yeah. He has crazy spending habits.
Starting point is 00:09:44 He bought dinosaur bones. I think he, yeah, I'm sure he, you know, bought Wyatt Earp's gun or something like that. And Jordan, I know from my appearance on Go Fact Yourself with you that dinosaur bones give you a boner. Did I say that on go fact yourself no but you i feel like you're yeah you didn't say it but you gave off that vibe yes uh love a bone
Starting point is 00:10:13 i've got uh i've got i've got a bone i've got a bone for the bones um and yes i'm including the star trek character in that too um so I went to Nicolas Cage's estate sale and, you know, like wanted to walk away with, you know, something. I didn't have a ton of money to spend. So obviously I could not buy any of the suits of armor or thrones that he had. You were thinking maybe a meat tenderizer
Starting point is 00:10:43 or something like maybe a tenterhook nicholas cage's nicholas cage's garlic press what i eventually settled on was a kind of a a print an art print that looked like you know just kind of something you would see in a yoga studio uh it's called sacred geometric shapes for meditation um i like it a lot. I think it looks great in the house. And it just has the added bonus of having once belonged to Nicolas Cage. But before I saw Sacred Geometric Shapes for Meditation, I considered taking home Nicolas Cage's copy of the Kama Sutra.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Oh, wow. That was available. Do you remember which was more expensive? I think Sacred Geometric Shapes probably was more expensive. Yeah, I just was, you know, maybe this is me kink-shaming myself, but I thought you know, I'm going in this for a conversation piece, and the art print is kind of innocuous until explained.
Starting point is 00:11:49 But I think the Kama Sutra, if I just had it out, people might get the wrong idea about me having ever had sex. You would have to, I think, put a plaque on it. Yeah. That said, like, this belonged to Nicolas Cage, FYI. It's sort of a gag thing. Sure, sure. I'm almost wondering if you need that on your yoga print. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:15 What I kind of like about it is that it needs explanation, you know? Yeah. What I was going to say was, I feel like it's, I don't know if it's a fit, if I just know someone who did this or if there's like a lot of people who do this, but I knew of a guy who collected historical gynecological instruments. So like old speculums.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Wow. So, you know, so, you know, Tim Burton. Wow. I would never want to be alone or even in a group with this person.
Starting point is 00:12:49 And I feel like having Nicolas Cage's Kama Sutra is on, it's not the same, but it's like in that realm. Yeah. And yeah, again, and I don't want to like, you know, like if you use and have gotten pleasure for you and your partner out of the Kama Sutra, I mean, that's a, that's a wonderful thing. You know, we should all know more about our bodies and our partner's bodies and all that stuff. But also, yes, like the, the person who displays their copy,
Starting point is 00:13:18 I think, yeah, having one is not, is not suspect, but, but I think the person who displays theirs maybe is giving off a vibe that is unintended. At a certain point, Jordan, there's only so much bookshelf space on the boat, so something has to come down to the coffee table. Right. On the boat? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Are we doing a thing where I live on a houseboat i wish i did wait do you not no i think we're doing a thing where a guy who displays a copy of the kama sutra definitely lives on a boat yes okay i see where yes exactly i know it's like well you can stay right wait what what what books do you put on the shelf and which ones do you take off of the Python terrarium? You got to have a few up top because he's been pushing his way out lately. Yeah, he's getting strong. You're feeding him too many frozen mice. Allison, what is your neighborhood like in in quarantine it's a little more uh
Starting point is 00:14:27 suburban than where i live um but yeah what's the what are the neighbors like what's what's going on well i don't know exactly because i really rarely leave my house i was thinking do you remember at the beginning of all this how everyone was commenting on how beautiful the air quality is and how this is really doing wonders for nature? And look, the animals are reclaiming. And no one talks about that anymore. And I think it's because no one goes outside anymore. We're just assuming nature is coming back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:02 A lot of people are wearing masks, but then a lot of people aren't and i and i like them uh and seeing them not wearing masks is causing me causing me cognitive dissonance yeah because i want to i want to continue thinking that they're like responsible good people but i'm like what are you doing I can see your nose oh yeah sure Jordan were you are you aware of the real the very loud like religious fraternity house party that I lived next to for a long period of time oh yes sure I heard a little bit of this when it first materialized but can you explain it for the listener and for Jesse and for Jesse yes okay uh and your producer.
Starting point is 00:15:46 So let's not leave him out of this. He doesn't need to be involved. Brian's just reading a book of classic little Lulu comics while we're recording. So next door, two married couples moved in and the guys were both pastors. And initially, I and everyone I mentioned this to was very curious how this works. There was a lot of, are there swapping jokes, that kind of stuff, which I found a little pedestrian, but still. I was very curious what was going on. And then the two women came over one evening to let me know that they were going to be having a party at their place. They host a youth group for their church. No, they didn't yet mention that it
Starting point is 00:16:27 was every Wednesday. They just told me it was going to be like in an hour and there was going to be some music. And they're just like, look, it's a church party. There's not going to be any drinking. There's not going to be any marijuana. Angel dust only. They didn't say that, but that is so close so close to i think what it was they first i thought they were going to invite me when they're like we're hosting a youth group for our church and i was like yes i'm there because i've got to see like what's going on but they didn't invite me they just want to warn me then this turned what i didn't realize because it was every week wednesday evening and there would be a live band like
Starting point is 00:17:06 with a drum set and a PA and loud music. And I heard people, I think they're, I know. How big a band are we talking? Is there a brass section or is this just like a power trio? It's most of the band Chicago, not all. of the band Chicago, not all? Oh. I want to say it was like a slim five to six members at a time. It was so loud.
Starting point is 00:17:31 I did a series of Instagram stories, which is like my way of handling, my way of being passive aggressive because I did not yet have the balls to go over there. But it was really loud and I would hear people outside yelling. There had to have been drinking. I don't know. And I would hear people outside like yelling. There had to have been drinking. I don't know. And I never figured out what church it was. There were a
Starting point is 00:17:50 thousand cars. It was like, it was very loud and revelrous. But anyway, the good news is they moved. They were all just wearing t-shirts that said church on them. So yeah, they're not there anymore so now we have no neighbors over there so that has been it's given me less material for my podcast but it's been a blessing in terms of quietness yeah i mean ideally for the podcast because i mean i think why as podcasters um you know why do anything in life if not to talk about it on a podcast later? What do you, what's your ideal new neighbor as far as podcasts material goes? I mean,
Starting point is 00:18:33 swinging Christian party house is it's a tough act to follow. I hadn't really thought about, I hadn't thought about it in terms of ideal neighbor for the podcast, which makes me feel like maybe I'm not in it to win it. You know, I was just thinking like a nice quiet family. Maybe they have kids that my kids can play with if this pandemic is ever over.
Starting point is 00:18:53 God, well, I think it's like, you know, what would be ideal for the podcast? It would be a low level celebrity or a high level celebrity that I, that's either so high or so low that I feel comfortable disclosing their personal information like um I don't know just off the top of my head here like a
Starting point is 00:19:13 Wallace Shawn Jordan this is Allison's ideal neighbor not my ideal neighbor listen I think Wallace Shawn is everyone's ideal neighbor. What if Wallace Shawn is actually a terrible neighbor? Oh, I can't imagine that's true. I can't imagine. He was on Bullseye and he was a lovely man. You know who I would love to live next to? Who? And I am, I can't believe I'm blanking on his name because he's like the one, both my husband and I have a hall pass toward him.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Wow. The rare, the rare. The rare double hall pass. Oh, Mandy Patinkin. I fucking love him. Mandy Patinkin? I would love to live next to Mandy Patinkin. Well, for one thing, you could enjoy the songs of the Great Depression to say nothing of the great Yiddish American songbook. Is that Mandy Patinkin's thing? Yeah, Mandy Patinkin's all about that.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Wait, was he in Yentl? I don't know, but he's a beautiful singer and he loves to sing. He loves to sing. I mean, he sings the great American songbook in general, but he famously recorded a lot of songs of the 20s and 30s and then also has recorded a lot of songs of the 20s and 30s and then also has recorded a lot of uh jewish songs
Starting point is 00:20:27 huh i all of this would be stuff that he and i that like it would come out over um warm fresca or whatever it is that he likes to drink but why do you assume warm fresca he might drink warm fresca i doubt he drinks i love avida and he was in avida so i would definitely i mean if he's offering to sing like you'd assume he would i would uh request avida but also i would just like to talk about homeland oh yeah are you did you stick with homeland to the to the end i sure did and i was like, wow, each season, basically the same. And yet it hooks me every time. Did any of you guys watch it?
Starting point is 00:21:09 Here's the thing, Allison. I know that you want to talk to him about Homeland. He just wants to talk about Chicago Hope. I know. We would have to get past that, but I'm confident we would be able to. He's like, in many ways, it was superior to ER. You're like, oh, Mandy. confident we would be able to he's like in many ways it was superior to er like oh mandy now on to my role as papa smurf and smurfs the lost village i'm looking at mandy patinkin's imdb
Starting point is 00:21:33 right now oh my god i didn't know about that thank you for doing this recon for me yeah happy to do it does your now knowing knowing now this new information that jesse shared with us that he is um you know an enthusiast of the great yiddish songbook does that make you and you can speak for your husband too does that make you more or less horny for the patink i think more yeah me too which is surprising to me it just shows that even though i grew up with less than zero religion, when a Jewish holiday swings around, I have to Google what it is to see what it is that people think I'm celebrating. But something deep in my loins stirred. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:15 I mean, yeah, sure. I mean, it's like a call. Can I tell you what I imagined immediately upon hearing the possibility of Mandy Patinkin being your neighbor. Please. He rings your doorbell. You open the door. He has a plate of cookies for you.
Starting point is 00:22:31 This is when he first moves in. He says, hello, my name is Mandy Patinkin. I'm your new neighbor. Prepare for fun. Oh, my God. That would be like classic Mandy. that's why he's the best can i tell you guys something i did something last night that i have never done before and i still am like what was i doing i on instagram and i i can like what i did was righteous i feel but
Starting point is 00:23:03 i consciously trolled someone on instagram and left a bunch of shitty comments. I've never, ever done something like that. So I don't know how I found his page, but there is a doctor who has been I think he either lost his license a number of times or has almost lost his license a number of times who claims that masks are dangerous to your health he's like a total anti-vaxxer uh he lost his license because he had this like alternative therapy for cancer that actually killed some people this is that was some years ago but he's just a total quack but he claims what is the argument for what is the argument for masks are dangerous? I mean, I'm sure there's some people who think that, but can you make sense of it? Yes. They say that they cut down on oxygen.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Oh, yeah, sure. You know, that's why the people in a hospital are always passing out who have to wear masks all day and people on construction sites. And also, I mean, I think all masks that you can get, you know, at a drugstore or something like that, they all create an airtight seal. Exactly. Yeah, you may as well be inside a Tupperware at that point. And air's big. Where's air going to get? Air's huge.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Where's it going to go? It's going to bump up against your plastic mask. Where's it going to go? It's going to bump up against your plastic mask. So anyway, and I didn't realize there's a lot of people who believe that. Oh, sorry. I forgot the one that really set me off that led to my first comment, which was you're so full of shit. It's laughable. Was he said that apparently get this.
Starting point is 00:24:42 No one in Europe has died of COVID. that apparently, get this, no one in Europe has died of COVID. His friend, who's a pathologist, and he would know because he's a pathologist, said that no one is actually dying of COVID. He doesn't really explain it any more than that. But anyway, the whole thing... In Europe, a man I know in Europe.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Well, that adds up to me. Hell, I don't know anyone in Europe. It's just science. Yeah. So what did you do? If it was just a random person saying this, that's really annoying. But the fact that he's a doctor, it pissed me off so much. So I left three separate comments, each of a similar theme.
Starting point is 00:25:21 One was, you're so full of shit, it's laughable. The other one was, you're a con man. And the other one was you're a sham. Wow. And then I sat there like, well, now what? But anyway, so then this woman actually told me, wake up, sheep. Wow. actually told me wake up sheep wow like you like i feel like wake up sheeple has been you know it's a joke you make about conspiracy theorists i i didn't know it's something that
Starting point is 00:25:53 conspiracy theorists actually said they do i feel like they're not big on originality um here's the weird thing though i tried to ride a fine line between, like, I don't want to engage with this insanity too much because then I'm just going to, like, never. I'm just going to be. It's going to take all day. But I think that she and I are actually friends. That's the weird thing. By the end of it. You can't do an understanding.
Starting point is 00:26:17 Yes. She's like, look, I know I can't change your mind. So you do you, sis. And I was like, I just liked the comment. And that was it. That's nice. I don't know what happened and that was it oh that's nice i don't know what happened yeah well that's that's really nice i think when hopefully you know you'll you'll meet this person you know when the um when the arcs are leaving earth when the new world order
Starting point is 00:26:40 kicks in if i'm permitted to exist right Right. Exactly. And I think that the new society will need podcasters. It's weird because it started with her calling me a sheep and there was definitely some aggression and telling me to turn off CNN, which CNN is always the go to. And it's like, hello, I prefer MSNBC. But anyway, that's where I get my propaganda. Right. That and Twitter. I watch Nick News. Yeah, I get get all my yeah i get all my propaganda from linda ellerby did she actually host nick news i feel like didn't she write for magazines uh she did when i was a kid um wait can i can i ask you guys a question nick news the one that i watch that's the one with mark summers and they're running around this course. Interesting. There's slime everywhere.
Starting point is 00:27:26 It's like no matter what goes wrong, somebody's going to get slime dumped on them. I think that's Double Dare. Yeah. I think it's called Nick News. No, in Nick News, there's no way to win a trip to space camp. Maybe that's MSNBC. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Yeah, Nick News, it had the contestants and it was usually like a father and a son or daughter right yeah exactly that's the one we're talking about you know what's the one that i don't watch i just never watch it's uh the pbs news hour that is uh that's the one where it's three kids and then there's this lady in a trench coat. And there's these guys who have their own acapella group. So this is Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? And I'm sorry. I think it's the PBS News Hour. It used to be called McNeil-Lehrer News Report.
Starting point is 00:28:20 I think you guys need to get on my train and start watching super sloppy Rachel Maddow. It's like regular Rachel Maddow, but they turn up the slop and you can win a Sega Genesis. We'll be back with more Jordan Jesse Go in just a second. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Hey, we've got some good news for all the Max Funsters out there. The Max Fun Drive is right around the corner.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Postponed, but returning. Just like the prodigal grandmother from the... Is that a grandmother? Who comes back on the horses? I thought you were going to mention the Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy. Oh, yeah. Famously postponed. No, it's who's coming around the mountain when she comes? She is.
Starting point is 00:29:31 She is, yeah. She. Yeah. She'll be riding these horses starting July 13th. Is that one of those old-time songs that's secretly about prostitutes? Probably. Coming around the mountain, I don't know, there's something dirty there, right? At the minimum, it's about like
Starting point is 00:29:47 horse race gambling. Yeah, sure. And not a wholesome trotting race, no, a race where they sit down right on the horse. So anyway. Yeah, the MaxFunDrive is coming up. It is how MaxFun keeps the lights on and keeps these great podcasts coming to your ears.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Usually, it's a two-week affair, but I guess because of circumstances, we're going to do a four-week chiller, chiller MaxFun drive. More chill. Is that how you would describe it, Jesse? Yeah, totally. I mean, obviously, a lot of people's circumstances in their lives have changed, and we don't want to make anybody feel bad. We don't want to press at the same time. It is how we keep the lights on. And it's how many of our hosts pay their rent and their mortgages, especially these days when there's no live performance economy. So we're really looking forward to doing it. We're going to do all kinds of stuff to highlight how great our community is. And there's going to be weekly ticketed online shows from different shows that we're going to do to benefit charity. And I think it's going to be a really
Starting point is 00:30:58 nice time. And, you know, as always, a great way to support our work at MaxFun, all the shows and all the hosts that you love, including Jordan and maybe even me. Yeah, MaxFunDrive is always a really fun time. And I definitely, like, always look forward to it because it is a way to kind of just, like, revel in how cool our listeners are and how cool the community is. And, yeah, the shows always, you know, go big with special episodes and stuff. So I always look forward to hearing those myself. And yeah, we have a bunch of cool stuff planned coming up. And yeah, if people have a little extra cash
Starting point is 00:31:39 to donate to MaxFun this year, there's some great bonuses you can get. It's all going to be at maximumfun.org slash join starting July 13th. So keep it locked here to Jordan, Jesse, Go and all your other favorite MaxFun shows. And we'll tell you about the cool stuff you can get and thank everybody who makes our work possible.
Starting point is 00:32:01 We're so, so great. I can tell you, I have never been more grateful to be, uh, making member supported media than, uh, than I am right now. So, um, so thanks to everybody who already supports us and thanks to everybody who becomes a member and thanks to everybody who supports us in all the different ways we will give you to support us. Even, uh, even if you haven't got the dough right now. So, uh, that'll start on't got the dough right now. So
Starting point is 00:32:25 that'll start on the 13th, four weeks. It's going to be a lot of fun. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Mm-hmm. This is where my daughter, Grace, who's soon to turn nine. That's a fun age. Go ahead. Watches a movie that her younger siblings can't watch. Uh-huh. Oh, that's such a good idea. And she'll alternate.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Like Eraserhead? Yeah. Exactly. We've been doing the Evil Dead movies. Oh, yeah. Those are fun. Those are fun those are fun you know yeah you know you're scared of them when you're a kid but then when you watch them later you're like oh these are kind of supposed to be funny yeah um works on two levels oh shen on delu and illusion dog mm-hmm uh she loves anything with a razor blade going into an eyeball sure well yeah so
Starting point is 00:33:43 mention visual matches the other night we were going to watch a film called hamilton i don't know if you guys have heard about this film uh no i think it's called hamil film it's uh it's a rapping president movie and now wait this is this bulworth you're talking about? Yes. I think you're describing Bullworth. But for some reason at the last minute, my daughter kind of like... Oh, so Jesse, can we back up a little bit? Can you tell us what are some other movies that you've watched during Big Kid Movie Night? What are some examples of Big Kid movies?
Starting point is 00:34:21 We gave some joke ones, but I kind of want to know actually what's going on here. Like Indiana Jones. Okay okay back to the future oh sure classic big kid movies yeah movies movies that like a slightly older kid can manage but a younger kid might get freaked out by sure because of the melting nazis yeah and to be clear like in those kinds of movies we're usually anticipating things like, she didn't see the melting Nazi part. But she wants to have big kid experiences of watching things. Allison, what's the
Starting point is 00:34:54 biggest kid thing that your kids can watch? Well, they're three and one. It's interesting because Red Shoe Diaries. Yeah. I would say Clockwork Orange and The Piano. The Pianist. Which is the disturbing one?
Starting point is 00:35:12 I think both of those work as a pull for inappropriate for three-year-old movies. Although I don't know too much about either of them. One has Holly Hunter. One has Adrian Brody. They both feature instruments and other, and, and other dark material. Sure.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Uh, let's see. It's interesting because Elliot is like only just now sort of starting to get afraid of things, but, um, he could, he handled Coco.
Starting point is 00:35:38 I'd say Coco is the big kid movie that we've watched. Coco. Coco is a nice movie. Coco has some scary bits in it too. Yeah. So I'm thinking we're going to watch Hamilton. I'm looking forward to it. Now, of course, you guys know, I saw Hamilton on Broadway with my friend Lin-Manuel Miranda. You've mentioned it. Then we went bowling together afterwards. You've mentioned it. Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:58 Wow. But I had not seen, when I say I saw it. Uh, he was in the theater, but he was not in the, he was not in the show. I saw it after the cast changed. Yeah. So I had not seen him be in it. So I, and I hadn't really watched it or, or like listened to the songs or whatever since I saw it. So I was kind of looking forward to it. I was like, yeah, I kind of forget what happens in this.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Well, I saw Sunday in the Park with George with Mandy Patinkin. And later we did Blow in the Bathroom of Abednigan's. So I have a story too. You're going to make me cry. I've fucked Patti LuPone. Whoa. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, bro. Well, I saw Nick Night News with Mark Summers and Linda Ellerbee, and we had a group hug afterwards. There we go. Calling it all back. So we've all done something good. We all have a story, okay?
Starting point is 00:36:55 Jesse's story isn't the best. They're all equal. Equal stories. That's right. There's a lot of stories in this naked city. Sure. That's the thing. This quote goes.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Yes. Los Angeles, the naked city. It's quote goes yes los angeles the naked city the opening of the kama sutra all right so i i was actually i was looking forward to watching hamilton i have never been a participant in hamilton madness i have to say but that made me feel like i was ready to watch it again because because I was like, yeah, I enjoyed that. I'll enjoy watching it again with my kid, you know? But at the last minute, she switched to the movie Tron. Tron. I don't want to say she chickened out, but something about it seemed wrong to her.
Starting point is 00:37:37 Something about watching Hamilton seemed wrong to her at the last minute. And she said, why don't we watch Tron? And I'd never seen Tron. So I'm like, yeah, okay,'t we watch Tron? And I'd never seen Tron. So I'm like, yeah, okay. I'll watch Tron. Guys, can I give you guys just a life pro tip? Sure. Yes.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Do not watch Tron. Tron is, first of all, Tron is very cool looking. Can I, can I, I just need some clarification. When I'm six, can I play hours and hours of the Tron arcade game at the Laguna Hills Mall? I encourage you to do that. That, I think, is a great idea because it probably captures the unique visual aesthetics of Tron, which are indeed unique and remarkable. Sure. Also, there's lots of, there's lots of gameplay styles. There's a shooting one where you shoot shoot spiders and then there's a light bike level as well so there's a lot of variety in there moral of the story is this i just wanted to let people know that like if you've just seen pictures of tron and thought well that's pretty cool looking you're right it is pretty cool looking
Starting point is 00:38:41 but it may legitimately be the most boring movie I've ever watched in my life. It is so... I have no idea what it's about. I just picture like yellow, a bunch of yellow lines as if someone's moving fast. Allison, I watched it two nights ago and I have no idea what it's about. Oh no. There is like half an hour of them just saying unconnected computer words to each other and it's like people from uh it's like people from an industrial film but it's an industry
Starting point is 00:39:15 that has a lot of lingo that you don't know so it just doesn't mean anything it's a business to business film yeah and then je Bridges comes and you're like, hey, there's young Jeff Bridges. He's fun. And then that's the last enjoyment you get out of it. If anyone has the urge to watch Tron, I recommend just watching the Jackson's video, Can You Feel It?
Starting point is 00:39:41 Where they use similar computer animation technology to, I think, as I remember it, sort of create the world. And you'll get the, you'll get, it's five minutes long. It's a great song. You'll get that enjoyment. The end. Tron is a nightmare.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Tron is horrible. Just reading the plot summary on Wikipedia, it's a little bit impenetrable because i'm not actually going to read it but there's a lot of like ncom mcp there's a lot of stuff that's hard to parse no you got to deal with master control of course yeah do you do you recommend that the listeners play the tron arcade game at the laguna hills mall yes i've already recommended that that earns my highest recommendation i mean you've already recommended it but That earns my highest recommendation. I mean, you've already recommended it,
Starting point is 00:40:29 but I also will point out that the arcade is close to an Orange Julius. Jordan, did you prefer Tron to what my favorite games were, which was like Pole Position and Centipede? Oh, those are both really fun games. I think I probably would have chosen Tron, again, because the variety of gameplay styles um but yeah i'm not i'm not i'm not slagging off pole position or centipede both very good games centipede in particular still really fun i i would say my top recommendation jordan and i don't mean to slag off tron at the laguna hills mall when you're six. Obviously, that has received my highest
Starting point is 00:41:05 recommendation, but I do have one higher level of recommendation, my superlative recommendation. That goes to trying to get your family to sit at the Miss Pac-Man table at Los Panchos at the intersection of Valencia and Mission so you can play Miss Pac-Man while you wait for your pupusas, which take a very long time. Pupusas always take much longer than you think they're going to because that's just the speed at which Salvadoran restaurants operate. So that's my recommendation to you is my superlative recommendation. Try and get your family to sit at the table style Miss Pac-Man and Los Panchos.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Second recommendation is going to be to play the Tron at the Laguna Hills Mall. Allison, where did you play pole position in Centipede as a kid? Was it at like mall arcades? The White House? So Centipede, there was a pizza. Actually, Jordan, you would maybe know of it there was a pizza place called sergeant pepperonis lonely hearts club restaurant yes no i never went to say alice and i both grew up in orange county but i have never been to sergeant pepperonis it was in costa mesa i think it might actually still be there.
Starting point is 00:42:26 I know where I'm having my birthday this year. That's right. The pizza was like the slices were square, like a cafeteria. But it was good. And they had a few games. They had the sit down Ms. Pac-Man and they also had centipede. And then pole position. So I don't know if I've ever shared with you guys that my parents' favorite place to
Starting point is 00:42:46 vacation when I was growing up was Las Vegas. I feel like I spent so much of my life either in Caesar's Palace or Desert Inn. And this was before Las Vegas was very family friendly. So there was really like very little to do. And you would just like accidentally get burned by a cigarette from an adult who was letting their cigarette hang at their side. That's what we had to do. And you would just like accidentally get burned by a cigarette from an adult who was letting their cigarette hang at their side. That's what we had to do for kicks. Yeah. But,
Starting point is 00:43:11 your parents would just give a showgirl $20 to watch you all day. They would let, they would let us play. Oh, I mean, no, not the showgirl thing, but they would hire the hotel babysitters and like,
Starting point is 00:43:24 wow, the pageant of babysitters that we had they also would let me play keno which was pretty fun but we would go to circus circus sometimes um and they had an arcade and that's where i would play a pole position uh just as a as i'm uh i did google sergeant pepperoni while you were talking sergeant pepperoni yeah still open uh 2300 southeast bristol, Newport Beach, California. And it looks like you can order remotely through Sgtpepps.com and chownow.com. Jordan, would you mind Googling real quick pizza and pipes in Burlingame, California,
Starting point is 00:44:03 the pipe organ-themed pizza restaurant that I went to for Tony McCauley's 10th birthday party, pizza and pipes, Sacramento. Um, no, world. That's good.
Starting point is 00:44:14 That's going to be a Northern outpost. We're looking, we're looking on the peninsula here, Jordan. Oh boy. Well, let's see pizza and pipes here. It auto fills to Sacramento.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Let's just, isn't this a fun episode? Just checking on our old high school, our old childhood pizza places. We're going to do lampposts next. Hyper local pizza. No, yeah, I'm not seeing pizza and pipes. I'm sorry. What were the pipes?
Starting point is 00:44:40 It was a giant pipe organ. What a pathetic theme for a pizza restaurant. Wait, was it really? You could have anything. Race cars. I'm seeing. There's one in Seattle, it looks like. It looks like there's one in Seattle.
Starting point is 00:44:53 How are there all these pizza and pipeses? Maybe it was in Seattle. When something momentous happens to you, the Jordan Jesse Goh listener. We ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN or email us a voice memo at jjgoh at maximumfun.org. This person has done that very thing, and here is the sound that they gave us. Hi, Jordan Jesse Goh. This is Josh from the northwest suburbs of Chicago. It's called the Boston Station. So I recently got fired from my job.
Starting point is 00:45:31 So I started up at the Home Depot pushing carts. And my boss was telling me what to do. And then just about 15 minutes later, I'm in the bathroom at the urinal, and he pees with his pants all the way down, ass out and everything. Well, have a good one. Bye-bye. Wow. Is this Boss 5? As a vagina holder. Well, no, I don't really hold. don't like well anyway i'm gonna need some explanation
Starting point is 00:46:09 pants have a split called a zipper at the front so you can use that zipper and the button above it if you like to remove your penis without dropping trowel. I see. So you keep them pants above your butt. As Moses did the Red Sea. If that helps. Yes, I see. But when you are five years old, you do take your pants all the way down to your ankles in order to pee standing up.
Starting point is 00:46:43 By the way, I'm in no position to criticize this. Given the tenor of our times and the challenges that I've been going through, I've pretty much abandoned peeing standing up completely. I just want to take some time to sit by myself on the toilet. So your family just thinks you're constantly shitting? I think that's pretty much what's going on, yeah. Do you guys happen to remember when you started peeing standing up? Because my son is toilet training right now, and he's sitting down. And I don't know if that's right or when the change happens.
Starting point is 00:47:17 I think four or five. There's a point at which you are tall enough to comfortably pee over the edge of the toilet. And that's like a key time. I would say if it was me, I would say around kindergarten age is when you really get into that territory. Perfect. I've always peed laying down. On your back, too, which is really... The first I'm hearing of anybody doing it in any different way.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Oh, Jordan. Honestly, I can only pee if I'm doing a pose in a public fountain. But I'm a stone cherub, so... Let's take another call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. This is Ella from San Luis Obispo, California. This isn't so much a moment of shame or a momentous occasion. This is something I think that is an equivalent, which is a moment of raw uncertainty. raw uncertainty. At this point, it's 1.20 in the morning, and at about midnight, a skunk walked into my room and ate a bunch of cat food and just kind of romped around and is now, I believe, asleep under a bedside table. And at this point in in the night i have also had an entire bottle of wine and also
Starting point is 00:48:52 i have a sprained ankle so what the fuck do i do right now ma'am that was robert downey jr. 1990s Robert Downey Jr.? Yeah. Wow. That was a journey. Do you think that if you were to take our listeners and put them up against listeners to other podcasts, we have an inordinate amount of people that just live in the woods? I mean, I guess there's skunks in the city you're city skunks there's definitely skunks where i live there's there was a some skunks that really loved to traipse through our yard and it was always you'd always hold your breath
Starting point is 00:49:39 uh in the hopes that you know no local pets would terrorize the skunk and lead to the skunk engaging in that activity for which it is most famous. Stanking up the joint. Falling in love. Yeah, sure. Falling in love with a cat that had white paint on it. How did this skunk get into her house? She didn't explain that, did she? I think maybe she was
Starting point is 00:50:05 just so drunk off red wine that she left the door wide open or maybe she had a skunk door put in because she was so drunk oh yeah yeah i mean i think that the skunk lives there now and she should make sure he or she is comfortable yeah i think so yeah i think the skunk is now a pet um so you know obviously it sounds like this person also has a cat. So just see what you can do about socializing the skunk with the cat. I mean, I think ideally this will lead to a lot of adorable animal friend videos. Something you would see posted on the dodo. There's definitely skunk pets on YouTube and it seems great. Now, that said, all unusual pets on YouTube seem great. Right. But skunks are,
Starting point is 00:50:51 like they have that dangerous power, but they are really cute. I mean, like a skunk is a legitimately, you know, like our friend Carrie Poppy has tried to convince me a few times that possums are cute i can almost see it but it really takes some work on my part part but a skunk it takes no work i look at a skunk and outside of the fact that i know that it could destroy my life with one expression of its gland uh i think that is an adorable animal. Can you have that gland removed? I know this sounds cruel. I'm just curious. I'm not going to do it. But could you de-skunk a skunk?
Starting point is 00:51:30 I think that is how... I think the people that have pet skunks, they have had that gland removed from the skunk, I believe. See, that's cruel. Can you just have it replaced with another scent, like Cinnabon? Just have your house smell like an airport every time the skunk is afraid. Rosen to skunk.
Starting point is 00:51:50 You do you, girl. They do have fun little walks, don't they? When you see a skunk walking around, it's a very cute little like, like one of those. Yeah, it's really funny. I think a lot of the best animals, what's good about them is that something about their gait leads them to, without intending to, wiggle their butts. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:15 I love ducks. Yes. They're the classic butt wigglers. Yeah, a duck butt, that's a solid animal butt. A truly classic butt wiggler. What's your top three animal butts, Jordan, would you say? Well, let's see. Top three animal butts.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Butts, fannies, hinders, dumpers. I'm just killing time. Tush. Tushies. Rear end. Yes. Did you ever do tiny? Butts.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Yes. Turd cutters. I'm going to say baby piggy. Yeah. That's really good. The curly tail go. Yeah. That's really good the curly tail go here yeah uh that's really good i'm gonna say um oh hamster with the little nubby tail come on yeah that's a classic that's a turd cutter
Starting point is 00:53:18 you can be proud of it's a little rice grain turds yeah and then finally the axolotl yeah sure it's a creature from beyond time oh uh it's like a weird uh fish salamander thing and it's got a oh it's got a cute little fanny wait now what about your rolly Chubbykins cat? Oh, yeah. Bug has a cute fanny. I mean, I don't like to, you know, I don't like to talk about her like that while she's in the room. I love talking about my dog Coco's butt. My dog Sissy does not have an impressive butt, but my dog Coco has like a real roundy that she really wiggles.
Starting point is 00:54:04 It's adorable. What about your dog Wendy, Allison? What's her dumps like? like a real roundy that she really wiggles. It's adorable. What about your dog, Wendy Allison? What's her dumps like? Well, her dumps are pretty ferocious, but her butt is very cute. She's very wiggly. We put her on a diet.
Starting point is 00:54:21 Have I talked about that before? No, I didn't. Yeah, what was the problem? she was just really way too fat um and a lot of people most of them being veterinarians had commented on it uh and you know told us what she should weigh versus what she is like you know with people everyone's very sensitive to comment on weight with animals that just goes out the window and i personally like it fed into my own body issues the way they were letting me know that she was definitely a large lady um but then i had laura london who is a dog trainer and also had an animal planet show and she had trained wendy she no longer lives here but she came to town and she saw wendy and
Starting point is 00:55:02 she like did not mince words uh and just really let me know that I needed to do something about Wendy's weight. And for some reason that got through to me, whereas with the other people, I was like, I hear what you're saying, but at the same time, like they don't live that long anyway. And I just don't want to make her super uncomfortable. But we, I guess it was probably like maybe about six months ago we started just severely limiting her food and she is now, um, I mean she looks great in a bikini and she does,
Starting point is 00:55:34 it didn't solve all her problems, but I'd say she does have more confidence when she walks in the room. So, um, yeah, so we, so we did that. So her butt is a little smaller,
Starting point is 00:55:43 but still super cute. Hmm. That's good. Good, good, good for Wendy So her butt is a little smaller, but still super cute. That's good. Good for Wendy. Was there also additional like exercising? Were you like running her around and stuff? She already was getting a lot of exercise, which is part of why I felt like, look, I don't, she's perfectly healthy. She goes on these really long walks.
Starting point is 00:56:02 She's just big boned. But she used to, she didn't really like her kibble we had to like sprinkle cheese on it or do all these things to get her to eat her kibble and but i think it's because she was getting so many table scraps but now that we've severely limited that like she loves her i'm sorry this is i fear this is boring but she loves her kibble i just want to say this is good loves her kibble now I just want to say. This is good. The gal loves her kibble now. People love, Jordan, Jesse, go listeners love, I think, pet talk more than any other talk, I would say. Yeah, I mean, they certainly love it more than me thinking Waluigi was green. No, come on. He's purple.
Starting point is 00:56:38 Everybody knows he's purple. Honestly. 206-984-4FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Rocket Ship One, this is Mission Control. Come in.
Starting point is 00:56:58 This is Rocket Ship One. Go ahead. Rocket Ship, what's your status on Max Fun Drive? Shouldn't we have seen it by now? Sorry about that, Mission Control. Turns out I miscalculated. Current projected ETA for Max Fun Drive is... July 13th? But it looks different. It'll be for... four weeks, so it's longer than expected. But all readings point to low-key. Oh, that'll be good. But can you verify that there
Starting point is 00:57:27 are still special gifts for new and upgrading monthly members? Verified. Sweet gifts for new and upgrading members, plus amazing new episodes and even special weekly live streams for charity. Copy that. Rocketship, can you confirm ETA for Max Fund Drive? 90% probability of Max Fund Drive from July 13th to August 7th. Did you say 90%? There were a couple of decimal places, and I might have carried a zero wrong. I'm just going to pencil in July 13th to August 7th. Mission Control out. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Starting point is 00:58:22 A podcast designed to help you read better. Over the past few years, we've figured out why people read. Self-improvement. Escapism. To distract ourselves from the world burning down. And why they don't. Not enough time. Not knowing what to read.
Starting point is 00:58:37 And being overwhelmed by the number on their TBR list. And we're here to help you with that. We will help you conquer your TBR pile while probably adding a bunch of books to it. Reading Glasses. Every week on MaximumFun.org. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Allison Rosen, I'm like everyone's big sister.
Starting point is 00:59:04 You said that with such casual conviction. Alison, can you take me to the movies with you and your friends? Yes, I can. Oh, good. I can't wait to see Event Horizon. Can you introduce me to the music of Morrissey? Yes, I can. Good one.
Starting point is 00:59:18 That's a good pull. Hey, so I want to say something very quickly. Regular Jordan, Jesse Goh listeners will notice that my appearances on the show have been spotty of late. There's been a lot going on with my family that's been very, very difficult, not least of which is that my dad was in hospice care at the VA hospital in San Francisco. And I went up and took him there with my stepmother. He had lung cancer for quite a long time, and he also was suffering from progressive dementia. was suffering from progressive dementia. So he was no longer able to take care of himself very well. And so we took him up there. And last week, he died. And I was not able to be there, I was not able to be there, unfortunately, but I talked to him on the phone a few days beforehand, and my brothers and my stepmother were able to be there and did some really beautiful things with grateful for that. And I know that my dad has been the subject of many funny dad stories on the show over the years.
Starting point is 01:01:00 And I was thinking about that. and uh my I was thinking about why I went into comedy in the first place because to be honest with you neither of my parents are very funny but
Starting point is 01:01:18 when I thought about it what I thought about was something that a number of people told me when I thought about it, what I thought about was something that a number of people told me when I talked to them about my dad after my dad died. and he certainly was, how he always had a wonderful, generous, loving laugh. And I just, the more I thought about it, the more I thought that in my family, you know, we communicated basically by picking on my dad. And my dad thought it was the greatest thing ever. He just, he didn't care why we were all happy and laughing. He was glad to have it be at his expense because he loved it so much. And I know that it was something that he shared with his vet friends.
Starting point is 01:02:39 And my stepmother is actually very, very funny. And it's something that was at the heart of their relationship. And I thought, well, gosh, I think the reason that I aspired to be funny when I grew up was because it was one of the only things that was comforting for my dad proud that he was proud of me in that way. And I also wanted to say that he was very proud of this stupid show. He loved and admired you, Jordan. He loved and admired you, Jordan. And he came to our shows and he loved it. He thought it was so great.
Starting point is 01:03:38 He came to our Prank the Dean shows back in the day and he came to our Jordan Jesse Go shows when we were in town. And, you know, my dad wasn't always on the cutting edge of culture. He was a 75-year-old man, you know, but he loved what we did. And he loved that laughing was such a big part of my life. And I know that he used to talk about when he spent his life working in the peace movement. And when he and the vets would be getting harassed by the cops or the FBI or when they were trying to fight to get into the Veterans Day parade and the BFW guys wouldn't let them and stuff, he would say, well, yeah, we laughed about it all the time. He said, if you can't laugh about it, what the fuck are you doing? And so, yeah, I just wanted to say how grateful I am to my dad for that and how grateful I am to my dad for his support of this weird thing. And, you know, as complicated as my dad was, I always knew that he loved me and was proud of me. I never
Starting point is 01:04:50 had a moment of feeling otherwise. And I'm, you know, one of the things that has probably brought me and Jordan together is our respective complicated dads, but I'm very grateful to him, to my dad for offering me that. And I'm very grateful that I could offer him laughter in his life. And so I know a lot of folks out there are having different kinds of tough times, and I hope Jordan Jesse Goh is one of the things that brings you comfort and I know that for me um as hard as things have been for my family lately um I know that both listening to Jordan Jesse Go and the episodes I wasn't able to be part of and being part of the ones that I have been able to has been a great comfort to me so um I just I just wanted to say that stuff
Starting point is 01:05:46 out loud. If anybody, I do, we do, if anybody wants to make a contribution in his memory or something, um, uh, I was suggesting an organization called Swords to Plowshares in San Francisco, which, um, is a, an organization of veterans who do direct services for veterans, especially homeless vets, but all kinds. And they're helping my stepmother right now with my dad's VA benefits. And my dad got services from them when he was a homeless alcoholic, and he worked for them when he got sober when I was little, and they're a great organization. So, yeah, I wanted to say that too. But anyway, I'm sorry that it's a sad thing to share on a fun show, but it is something that makes me feel a lot of warmth and happiness to think about how much he loved this kind of dumb shit
Starting point is 01:06:46 yeah i'm so glad i got to i got to know uh lee through you and through him coming to our shows like he was truly a great guy and i definitely like always after just talking to him you know for a little bit like i always got the sense like this guy has had an amazing life like you it really came across just from talking to him for a couple of minutes like this dude has like lived you know like he's done so much stuff and like yeah and I think you've definitely uh you know if people want to go back I think you've posted a lot of great like articles people have written about him and some of the work he was doing but like a truly amazing guy and definitely you know in in on the cop on the topic of like uh complicated dads um i know that
Starting point is 01:07:34 sometimes when like a family member is complicated like you just don't see them you know it's like that's that's an option you have or an option that is forced upon you is to just not deal with that person. But the fact that Lee was such a part of your life to the point where I got to spend some time with him, I don't know. I always thought it was really impressive that even though it was a difficult relationship sometimes, it was still really strong. So yeah, it was always impressive that like even though it was like a difficult relationship sometimes it was still like really strong so yeah it was always awesome to see really uh yeah really inspirational both your guys's relationship and him as a guy i always loved spending time with him and he was really awesome yeah one one of the things that i most admired about my dad and you know i mean i i've talked about i've talked on this show about some
Starting point is 01:08:26 of the things that my dad struggled with you know uh alcoholism and drug addiction is is one of them although he was clean and sober for most of my life but you know he he struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder and struggled to be as engaged in me and my brother's lives as he wanted to be or he could have been or should have been. But one of the things that I have always admired about my dad is that through his life, he worked so hard to make the world better and so hard to make a contribution to make recompense for the mistakes that he made. He always, you know, he took responsibility for the mistakes that he made and it doesn't unmake them, but it means a lot.
Starting point is 01:09:22 And it inspires me every day when I think about how can I be a better parent. And to be clear, I think I probably am a better parent than my dad, but I think about how can I of facing my challenges and my demons and doing my best to give love to my kids and other people in the world. So, you know, I really don't think, I think it's fair to say that if my dad wasn't my dad, if I hadn't grown up with a professional organizer and fundraiser for a parent who thought that comedy was great. I,
Starting point is 01:10:06 there's no way I could have started Max Fun and there's no way I could be running it today. Um, and you know, I, I loved him very much and, um, you know, I guess I'll probably just be sad that he died forever, but also, um, I'm very grateful to have had him in my life. I'm very grateful to my family who took care of him and, and as he was passing and when he was sick and, um, I'm, I'm, I'm very grateful that his, his passing had came when it, when he was ready for it and when it was time and was very peaceful. There was also, I wanted to mention that I got a really kind email from a doctor at the VA hospital in San Francisco, a hospice doctor, a palliative care doctor. And she told me that entirely coincidentally,
Starting point is 01:11:12 she was assigned to my father. And when one of the nurses mentioned to her that he had been a peace activist, that she knew who he was because she listened to some Max Fun shows and she'd heard me talk about him and i mentioned his his dementia was pretty advanced by the time he he went into hospice he is his conversations tend to circle around about a paragraph's worth of information and she said the fact that she knew these things about him allowed her to have a relationship with him that she needed to have to take care of him because she could talk to them him about those things that she had heard about him from these shows and she said that when she
Starting point is 01:11:57 was at the hospital she would spend a long lunch time with him each time, talking to him about his career in activism and organizing and talking to him about my brothers and I and how proud he was of both of those things. And I just can't imagine, I just can't imagine a luckier or more beautiful thing that that worked out that way. And I know I've heard from people who were parents who heard stories on this show or on Judge John Hodgman about my dad getting clean and sober and got clean and sober themselves for the sake of their own kids. And I'm so grateful that his example has inspired other people. And I'm so grateful that I got to be the medium for that
Starting point is 01:12:53 because I just really admired him. Even when we were fighting like crazy or he was failing me. So, yeah. fighting like crazy or he was failing me so yeah and i really i can't overstate how funny he thought jordan was say to me oh yeah that jordan's great i say yeah i know that's. That's why I locked into him when I was his RA, and we've been working together for 20 years, Dad. The Waluigi stuff was all his idea. It was his pitch.
Starting point is 01:13:34 I should also mention how much of this show he wrote. We're bringing in new writers. We're looking at packets right now. So if anybody wants to send in a packet, he did a lot of the material on the show a lot of the more gaggy stuff but also topical stuff he wrote those like those
Starting point is 01:13:51 trolling Instagram comments he wrote those so he was kind of doing some more angry material he's done all kinds of stuff I mean like he started out as like a classic borscht belt you know take my wife please but he reallyorscht belt, you know, take my wife, please. But he really grew over the years, you know.
Starting point is 01:14:14 Suddenly there was social commentary and there was, eventually it was just like insight, like personal insight. What is it to be a man? Right. You know, and eventually he got kind of hung up on cancel culture. Yeah, it happens to those older guys, know yeah he's older there's some podcast appearances of his that i hope for your legacy don't come out but the world is changing around him etc etc etc scary and and brian i wanted to thank you as well because some of those some of those last few shows that my dad came to as as his dementia was growing he needed a lot of help uh to come to the shows and uh often that was just me saying to brian uh brian can you help my dad like get a seat
Starting point is 01:14:54 and everything and uh so thanks for that brian too and allison uh as far as i'm concerned you can go fuck yourself you have nothing to do with my dad he didn't know you he didn't care about you and now he's dead i've been on this podcast a few times i take it he didn't mention me ever that's a little no he avoided the episodes with you on okay fine is it is it because of corolla because like that's a long time ago uh i wouldn't say it's because of corolla but i wouldn't say i let me say this he loves dr drew he really likes dr drew's insights into medicine right and so yeah hard to say for sure but probably anyway sorry to everybody who comes to this show for things other than uh people i love who died um but i did i did want to mention that um uh and and i oh one more thing i also want to thank i it's not necessary to send me your condolences having heard this even if that is your instinct because um it's just a lot of condolences to accept into my heart however
Starting point is 01:16:13 i want like everyone in the in the jordan jesse go audience especially but all the Max Funsters have been so kind about not just this, but my absence from some shows and the, you know, the kind of unexplained stuff that we've been dealing with, like the number of messages I've gotten that have just been like, take care of yourself. Thank you for everything you've done for us. I hope, I hope we'll hear from you soon. No pressure. Thank you. Like, I have been a wonderful comfort to me. So just to know that everybody's support is so broad and unconditional. So thanks, everybody. And I was going to say, Jesse, I wish I could give you a hug. What you said about your dad was so beautiful um i can see why he was so proud of
Starting point is 01:17:08 you and also i think you know you you made a comment about like a kind of kind of in jest but apologizing to the listeners if they came here for something lighter i think that people listen to this show because they love you and they love jordan and they love me and no but they love you and they love Jordan and if you're going through something they are also going through that and so it's a gift you're giving them letting like speaking openly and honestly and letting them know what you're going through so and I imagine that that's the feedback that you'll get so I think that you're you're like honoring the relationship you have with your listeners by telling them what's happening. There were two things that people said to me.
Starting point is 01:17:53 I heard from so many people whose lives my dad had touched in so many different ways. But there were two that really struck me. but there were two that two that really struck me one was my aunt bally who was married to my late uncle um but they they started dating when they were like teenagers so so she's known my dad for 40 years or more 50 years maybe um my Aunt Ballie said, she said, you know, Jesse, he had a big heart. And I really think that's true. I think sometimes it was hard for him to manage that with all the things he went through.
Starting point is 01:18:42 But I really think he did have a big heart. And the other thing that someone said to me that meant a lot to me was this guy, Kevin Fagan, who's a reporter for the San Francisco Chronicle, who went with my dad to Laos when my dad was working on development projects there. And community-based, collectively-owned development projects, I should clarify. And Kevin called my dad in the hospice, bless him, and had a chat with him. And he said, I was reminding him of all the things he had accomplished in his life and of his wonderful children and his wonderful wife. And how much he had done. And Kevin said, my dad said,
Starting point is 01:19:36 yeah, it's been a pretty great ride, hasn't it? And that's the spirit that my dad brought to life even when even when he was suffering and even when he was struggling with all the problems and pain that he had was that open-hearted big hearted feeling of well let's enjoy ourselves fuck. Let's go to the movies. You know, so, yeah. Anyway, I loved him a lot. And I'll miss him, but it's also okay. Yeah. He was a great guy.
Starting point is 01:20:23 I definitely like looking back and being able to say like hey i lived like an awesome life which it sounds like is something that he was thinking about his life as it you know as it was yeah yeah how are you doing jesse oh you know badly but um but things are things are better than they were it It's a hard time to go through this. And it's, you know, unfortunately not the only challenge in our lives right now. But I do, I really do, you know, obviously, like, I wish that I could have been there i wish i could have been visiting him in the hospice you know but i really did have i really did have a wonderful visit with him when when he went into the hospice a couple months ago and i got to take him there and hold his hand and give him a hug. And I'm grateful that, you know,
Starting point is 01:21:32 the dementia had taken him to the point where he was pretty done and in a way it protected him from some of the pain of the cancer. And so he never had to struggle. And he had such wonderful care, both with my brothers and my stepmother and in the hospice. And so, you know, everybody goes. And his going was a pretty good one. and his going was a pretty good one. So I feel very comforted when I think of his love that will be with me and my family and my kids
Starting point is 01:22:17 for as long as we're around. So that's all. So thanks for indulging me with that, gang. And thank you, Allison, as always. A joy to have you here. I was glad to know you were the guest on the episode where I had to talk about my dad having died. Oh, thank you. Brian, thank you.
Starting point is 01:22:43 Jordan, thank you. Brian, thank you Jordan, thank you You guys have been wonderful friends in this tough situation I hope nobody misses Jordan hosting Bullseye, which he did an amazing job of and there's, I think, a little more to come
Starting point is 01:22:57 so make sure to check out Jordan on NPR, NPR Jordan the famous alternate universe Jordan. This guy, he's got a mustache and a goatee. That's how you can tell he's different. That's how you know which one to shoot when you have to shoot one of us. You can find us on Reddit, maximumfun.reddit.com.
Starting point is 01:23:22 You can find us on Twitter. You can find Allison on her great showumFun.reddit.com. You can find us on Twitter. You can find Allison on her great show, Allison Rosen is Your New Best Friend, which often features the great Jordan Morris. He's a part of the rotating cast of characters on that charming, fun program. Yeah, it's really great. I just want to say that being on Allison's show
Starting point is 01:23:43 is always a blast. And it definitely, I think, like this show is just kind of a freeform chat show. But yeah, Allison always just does a great job of honestly getting into what's going on with her guests in a way that I always think is just really effortless and funny and terrific. It's a blast and you should totally be listening to it. Oh, you're too nice. Thank you. Yeah. Tone it down a little, Jordan.
Starting point is 01:24:18 I think that's about it for this week's Jordan Jesse Go. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go. That's about it for this week's Jordan, Jesse go. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse go. Maximumfund.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported.

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