Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 650: Home Corn Dogs with Michelle Biloon

Episode Date: August 18, 2020

Michelle Biloon (Permanent Hat comedy special) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Michelle's job as a ride operator at Camp Snoopy theme park in the Mall of America, how Gritty is the scrapple of mascots, and a new brilliant business idea to pair a grownup corn dog truck with the likeness of Walton Goggins.Listen to Michelle's new comedy special Permanent Hat on A Special Thing Records!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Oh, Jordan, I did something today. Oh my gosh, something? Yeah. Well, don't say what it is. Just whisper it into a bag. I'm not bragging. This is

the lifestyle I have. Once every few months, I do something. Oh, what's that thing? Well, I went into my front yard and there's an electrical plug there. Right. And I talked to my neighbor and while he started up his grill, which is in his front yard. Front yard grilling, huh? He's got a front yard grill. I don't know. It's just how he does it. Yeah. I've honestly never heard of such a thing.

And picturing it upsets me a little bit. And I don't know why. Maybe I'm uptight. Maybe this is my baggage that I'm bringing to things. People do all kinds of crazy shit now, Jordan. Sometimes people will take bread out of the toaster uh-huh and instead of putting uh butter on it or even an egg they'll mush up something called an avocado oh boy so front yard grilling is nothing compared

to whatever that thing is i don't like the sound of this sounds like a good sounds like a good way to take yourself out of the housing market, if you ask me. Wait until you see the seed in this thing, Jordan. Wow. It's gargantuan. I don't like it. I think it's against God.

And for these past couple of months, people have been saying that 2020 is fucked up, and I haven't believed them until now. Front yard grilling. What was he, do you know what he was grilling? Looked like some chicken. Okay. Maybe chicken thighs. All right. He and his wife live there, so, you know, it's just the two

of them, so maybe a couple chicken thighs seems pretty good. I don't like the sound of this wife either. She's all right. She works for Disney Parks. Oh, well, they did a great job with Star Tours. If you see her, let her know I'm a big fan of Star Tours. Oh, she's Paul Reubens, by the way. Oh, so she did the voice of Rex? Yeah. And it's just Pee Wee Herman's voice. Yeah, I didn't do a lot to change it. No. But you know what? What a thrill every time, right? Yeah. It's Robot P. Herman. There it is. Although I think he's C-3PO now. I think they replaced him. Yeah, I heard about that.

That really bummed me out. I think, as you know, Jordan, you have a very deep relationship with Disneyland because you grew up right near Disneyland. My grandparents lived in the town in which you grew up. And so Disneyland was something that I went to every other year when we would go visit my grandparents lived in the town in which you grew up. And so Disneyland was something that I went to like every other year when we would go visit my grandparents so that my dad could bear to spend time with my grandparents. And I mean, I liked Disneyland as much as any other kid, but I never was in love with it except for the fact that Pee Wee Herman

was inside that robot in Star Tours. That and the fact that there was a 3D Michael Jackson movie were so profoundly compelling to me in a way that no Mr. Toad's Wild Ride could ever be. Well, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride didn't have Hooter like Captain EO did. You can almost reach out and grab Hooter. Is Hooter the guy that looks like the Philly Fanatic or the little butterfly guy that flies towards you? I think he's the butterfly guy that flies towards you. I don't know.

I'm not a Captain EO head, but that's how I remember it. Not to brag, Jordan, but I had a glow-in-the-dark Captain EO sweatshirt. Yeah, you've mentioned it. You've mentioned it. Yeah. Am I jealous? Sure. do i want one more than anything yes can i not achieve an erection until i get one uh-huh anyway moral of the story is yeah he grilled i shaved my head you know You know, it was a special moment.

You shaved your head while he grilled? Yeah. Okay. And you guys just chatted while it went down? Yeah. He's flipping thighs and I'm making sure I didn't miss any spots. Wow. So do you always self, do you always self shave or is this a new kind of quarantine thing? I used to go to the barbershop and I would get a fade. I like the idea, even though my, my hairline is thin and receding, I like the idea of having a haircut, like not just like having made a choice about my hair you know what i mean and so

i like to have a fade because then it was like i couldn't just do that myself it was and it's something that only a person who does have at least some hair could do you know what i mean um and uh but since since the uh since the quarantine and so forth, I have changed to just putting it on number one half and going over my whole entire head. And I like to do it in the front yard because if I do it in the bathroom, then I have to sweep up. If I do it in the front yard, I like to imagine that my hair is going to help out little birdies who are building their nests. Oh, yeah. There you go. You can, at night, drift off to dreamland with the knowledge that cold little baby birdies are pulling your hair over them like a blanket. Yep. Exactly. And I imagine them being those kind of like little animated bluebirds.

Right, right. Kind of a classic snow white kind of bluebird. Yeah. And I think that's because usually right before I shave my head, a cartoon character hits me in the head with a frying pan. And then before they go to sleep, they say, thank you, mommy. And mommy bird says, don't thank me. Thank Jesse. Yeah. And then they help you make a dress for the ball. Yeah yeah got it all in there uh should we introduce our guest on the program jordan i'd love to our guest on the program beloved stand-up comic uh from austin texas then los angeles now west philadelphia she has a brand new record album called permanent hatent Hat. An old friend of ours, a pioneering podcaster just like us, Michelle Balloon. Hi, Michelle, how are you?

Hey, I'm pretty good. I enjoyed your intro chit chat. I wanted to like jump in, but I was polite. I listened to my podcast Rules. You might have had my mic cut off. I don't know. But all of it was delightful. No, you could have jumped in at any time. And honestly, I'm mad at you for not doing it. The birdies. And you know what? I had that thought. They're going to need a nap after they were circling people's heads at the boxing gym earlier. You jumped right in there.

And I personally, Mr. Toad's's wild ride albeit an extremely boring and dated ride it's all about like drunk driving it's like the most bizarre storyline for a kid's ride yeah it is like a it is like a it's like a video they show you in driver's ed that you ride yeah and you go to hell at the end you know might as well be about masturbation yeah have you guys seen the lines by the way at disneyland for red asphalt so hard to get into that's a good one oh it's great paul rubens does the voice of the windshield you go through and it's just peewee, nah, right. This guy doesn't have a lot of voices. I'm a real asphalt head.

Oh, yeah. That'd be great. I'm trying to be a windshield. Oh, there you go. That was my Pee-wee. That was a really good Pee-wee. Yeah, I didn't even go for it. Michelle, do you go to a theme park?

Do you go to a theme park of your own accord? I do. Every year, except for this coming one but last the last January since we moved away from Los Angeles we've got we've my whole family has returned to go to Disneyland every January. That's the time to go January. Yeah we go right after the Christmas stuff sometimes some of the some of the rides are still in transition it's a good week to go my mother flies in from Arizona and we have a, we have a great time at Disneyland. And so I'm not going to do it this year.

So this will be 2021 will be the, the year without Disneyland and many things. What is your, what's your Disneyland shit? Is it, is it Dole Whips? Is it, is it Space Mountain?

Jungle Cruise? Do you got to go in the Swiss Family Treehouse? What do you got to do? Okay, I like being in Disneyland. I like the feeling of it. I hope they open a retirement home there and I can just spend my last decade there. We stay at the Grand Californian, which I love it.

The rooms are great. It's right at the park. I love the candy shops. I like they have like a chocolate peanut butter situation that's amazing. And they've got some great English toffee that I love. What's the chocolate peanut butter situation? I want this described a little more.

It's just like peanut butter with like a peanut butter and like a chocolate covered in chocolate with like a graham cracker inside. That sounds good. I believe I'm retelling this correctly. I don't think I just imagined this in my I'm locked in my house fever dream that I that I have every night. Remember the things that we used to do. I really like a Dole Whip, but I find myself when I'm ordering food at Disneyland every time getting mad that they don't just give it to me. Yeah.

Like, I feel like it's like a cruise ship where I paid so much money to get on. You want to have a wristband that allows you unlimited churros. Yeah, that's really like, there could be like a premium tier. You know what I mean? I understand that if I want to eat at the Johnny Rockets at Disneyland, in this scenario, there's a Johnny Rockets at Disneyland. Yeah, I got it. I'm with you. I have to pay extra for the premium dinner.

But I feel like by the time I pay my $100 or whatever it costs to get into Disneyland, I feel like unlimited soft serve should come with that. You know, I've never been a Dole Whip person, but I have to say I love one of my favorite things is I love the tiki room. I love the way you can hear the mechanics of it. I like that you just go in and sit down and it's like the same as it was, you know, in 1955. Sure. Yeah. It's a little problematic in kind of a charming way.

Hey, it's right across from the most problematic ride, the Jungle Cruise. And depending on which Jungle Cruise operator you get, it's like, how racist is this going to be? You know what I mean? It depends on how someone wants to spin their tail but so is there a so so you're in west philadelphia now no one yes we're not doing any fresh prince shit just so you know a listener people are gonna go when it's people are gonna go why didn't they when michelle said west philadelphia i sang the Fresh Prince. We know. We're not going to do it. We know. We know. We know.

So is there a closer amusement park? Is there like a Six Flags or something like that? I don't really, in general, I do not care for amusement parks. I'm scared of crazy rides. And so I like the sort of theme aspect of Disneyland. That's as far as I'll go. But when Tenny, when I I first I just listened to the first the last episode I did I don't know if I did one before that but and my kid was uh just

over a year um and so when we first moved here there's a Sesame Street um amusement park and like about a half an hour outside of town and we just because you know when you have kids like when they're that little you're just like where can i go for them to nap in a stroller what can i do for four hours where i could eat french fries um and we went there all the time and it was great so but now for many reasons that's not a thing anymore and um i haven't gone there in a couple years but no there there's a six flags um a couple six flags in the the area that are like an hour away. But no, not interested. I don't care.

I go to New York for interest. No, I would say. There's a Hershey, Hershey, Hershey, Pennsylvania has an amusement park. Okay. But you're not interested. Not, the theming isn't strong enough for your liking. Disneyland does it so well. It's so clean and everything is just so organized.

And then if you go to like, like a Six Flags or even like for LA example, Knott's Berry Farm, and I grew up in Orange County. So like Knott's Berry Farm was the fucking place to go. I do not remember it being like, kind of like a no man's land. Like, I feel like it's, I don't know if it got a little like when I went back as an adult, it wasn't quite as cool to me as it was when I was

a kid. Michelle, when you say Knott's Berry Farm is in No Man's Land, do you mean that it's caught betwixt in between the two famous poles, which are the Peanuts Gang and Jam? are the Peanuts Gang and Jam. Yeah, Jam. Well, and Fried Chicken. They do have that sort of the famous fried chicken restaurant that my parents were obsessed with when I was growing up. Six Flags. I went to Six Flags once with Doug Benson for an episode of Walking with Michelle, and

I don't really get high that much, and I certainly didn't then. And he gave me a pot pill, and I have no idea how many milligrams were in it then I know how much I can take now and it's not very much and I was so high and I'm afraid of roller coasters and that one I've not taken it down yet I'm slowly taking down all the episodes but um I was it was the most terrifying thing I've ever done I it was so scary to be high and be on some of those roller coasters. That's horrible. That's horrible. I know.

I know. I thought it'd be fun. Six Flags, I don't know what it is about them, but maybe it's just kind of like how they're run or... I don't know. I don't know what it is about Six Flags,

but they all have a little bit of a Purge vibe. They all seem like they're about to become lawless at any minute yeah like those and those are the places that have those crazy halloween things where sure people get as close to hurting you as i haven't been but i know that that's why people like to go because of this idea that you're going to be pulled into the bushes and murdered and i'm like i don't want to even have a thought of that happening for a moment I think any place with

groups of four or more teens has a purge vibe like I think it is the groups it's not just the presence of teens is not enough it's the teens are with other teens on their own

teen terms. Teens that have been dropped off. That's what you don't want that feeling. Yeah. That they've been dropped off. They have disavowed responsibility. They want to see what they can get away with. And it might be making you think that you're there about to murder you.

And Disneyland does seem like it is full of adults. Like your Jungle Cruise, like your Jungle cruise skipper you never think like you're like okay this person is at least in college or something like that you know um but yeah like every you're like who's the oldest person who's working at this six flags in case something happens is it this kid with the wispy mustache who might be 17? Yeah, I think they probably have one of those antitrust exemptions only for work laws. You know, like how minor league baseball got a law passed so they don't have to pay baseball players minimum wage. Six Flags got the Save America Six Flags Act passed so that they can hire only 14-year-olds.

Or they have to look 14. Like, you have to be like, okay, we need you to look younger. We need this to add to the danger. You can't look like you're responsible at all. Put on this Pokemon backpack. They make all the candidates grow mustaches to confirm their wispiness. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, if the mustache looks like something other than your lip is dirty. Yeah. I worked at an amusement park between my sophomore and junior year of college. I worked at, there was an amusement park. It was Camp Snoopy in the Mall of America out in Minnesota. And I was a ride operator, and I loved it because you could speak on the megaphone, and you learned all the safety procedures. And I learned there was lots of those rules so people don't get hurt.

And I was like, why is this my responsibility? Because one time I was right doing, I was, I was controlling the bumper cars. And, um, and I told this guy, Hey, your kid is, is not, he's right at the line, but he's, he really shouldn't go on the ride. It's not built for him. And the guy was a real asshole. And I was just like 20, 1920. And he went on the ride. And then the first time they got hit, the kid hit his face on the front and just blood started gushing out. And I'm like, how was this my responsibility to stop this grown person from hurting their child?

And so it is, I just, I don't, yeah, I don't, can't trust it. That's all I have to say. Do you still remember your safety spiel? Oh my God. I used to be able to remember it. I feel like I could, it's like, oh God, I, I've half remember it. I like want, I want it to come out of my mouth. I feel like I remembered it for like 10 years and then it just slowly drifted away.

But yeah, it's yeah. Welcome to bumpers while riding, please. Let me just say the other thing that I now just remembered, there was one ride that I moved up my way in the ladder to control. And it's the ride where you go up in the air, everybody's in these separate little pods and the pods spin around and then the whole ride spins around. It's like called the octopus or something. And it goes up really high. You have to weigh it out as a person. So I'm like a kid and I have to make sure,

oh, this fat person has to sit on the outside. I had to move people around so they were in different cars and lie to them and say, well, you just have to move for balance. And if they didn't listen to me, the ride would 99% for sure get stuck at the top for like a half an hour. And that was my job as a child. So when the kids are working, just know that shit could go wrong. They're responsible for too much.

A couple of my wife's college friends are from Minnesota, one of them is from Minnesota and they, they spent a lot of time there. And, um, they're now a, a heterosexual couple, but one of them at the time who, who is, uh, uh, who is a man was then identifying as a woman. So it was, it was these two women and they're both very small, both tiny people. And they were, I'm going to say 31-ish, somewhere around there. And they were in Minnesota visiting one of their families. They went to the Mall of America for dinner or something. One of them did not have her purse. for dinner or something. One of them did not have her purse.

A security guard stopped them because in the Mall of America, there is a curfew for people who are under 16. People who are under 16 can't be in the Mall of America after a certain time, you know, after 8 p.m. or something like that. And they got kicked out of the Mall of America because they couldn't, these 32-year-olds could not prove

that they were 16 or older. Oh my God. Because they are very small people. I would, the incredulousness I would have, or just like, or just, and also maybe like a momentary sense of pride that, oh, you think I'm a very mature 15-year-old. They're both lawyers.

Well, that's. They're in the foreign service oh my god defund the mall police that's all i have to say let's divert some of that funding uh michelle when you were on break at the mall of america yes where are you hitting up food court wise oh my god okay. Okay. This is half of my life ago. Oh my God. I really don't know. I know it was very exciting having access to have all of that food. Probably one potato too. I love that.

I'll tell you this, Michelle. 100% for sure, you were not getting your hot dogs on a bun. Let me put it that way. Oh, I love corn dogs. No joke. Yes, for sure. way. Oh, I love corn dogs. I, no joke. Yes, for sure. Corn dog city. I'm the mayor.

Like, yeah, I'm into it. Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Oh, yes. I don't know if mall corn dogs, though, have the same cachet to me as like a fair corn dog. So it's not like quite is gonna, you know. It's a different beast for sure. Yeah, yeah.

Like if I'm not and disneyland corn dogs and california adventure corn dogs are amazing and i'll tell you i know where their locations are on both of the parks okay that's how clued i'm in i should have mentioned that earlier do you prefer one location to the other is there one is there a superior corn dog on property as the disney fans say well if you were to go to the california adventure one it's in this like flo's food court in cars land and they also you can also get this good lemonade that has like this raspberry foam on top at like one of the places near it and so i would say i prefer there just because of that raspberry foam I just want some of the foam. Could I just get a mouthful of foam?

Can I just put my head under the foam machine? Yes. You put foam on it. I'm like, oh, foam? Really? Okay. A foam? Yes.

Well, don't mind if I do. I don't, yes. Michelle, I was listening to your great new album, Permanent Hat. Oh, thank you. I was laughing my butt off. Oh, good. But I wanted to kind of create some space for you here on this show.

Because you, so our buddy, beloved regular guest, Chris Fairbanks, in the top, you know, at least top five most beloved guests. Yes. He does your warm-up and he introduces you. And you come out and you say, I'm recording an album, so I'm going to get right to my material. But, you know, if I wasn't recording an album, I would just want to make fun of Chris for five minutes. So I just wanted to give you some space to do that now if you wanted to.

Well, you know, and I have to say there's actually a hidden track on my album. It's not me making fun of him, but Chris did such exceptionally long intros for me. He was actually headlining because I only did, and I mentioned this in my album, and I don't know how much you guys are aware of this, but I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis two years ago. And I was actually supposed to do your show a week before I was diagnosed and I canceled, but didn't tell you why, because I didn't know what I was doing. And it was, I was in LA. I flew to LA right after my diagnosis. I was in Disneyland two days after I got diagnosed because I just didn't know how to stop everything. And I, um, and so it was really, really crazy. And so I've had to do standup a lot differently. And one of those things is I

cannot do long sets. And so I had Chris come in, I did 20 minutes, my 20 minutes, you know, I'd, we did four shows and Chris closed, but he would come out to intro me. And every time it was like this minute and a half intro and it was all about himself and then he would but it would be about me and about how i'm there i'm everybody's there because of him because i he's we've known each other since open mics and and um and so all of those intros are back to back to back at the very very end um and uh but yeah it was just i you know i uh i love chris to death. I mean, we started together and I know him so well and just getting him to come out and do the shows because I mean, he is such a complainer and it's really difficult to get him.

You just have to I just had to get him there and I knew he would have fun and which is what happened. And and we just had a total blast. All the shows were sold out. had a total blast all the shows were sold out um and it was just it just made for when you have a friend there who you're just trying to make laugh and then they're just trying to make you laugh it just makes it just such a great environment which is it was amazing but i i can't i love chris to death and he would say the same i really do he's one of my favorite people i love him love him love him and he just is one of my best friends forever all the all the comics uh that i know um who started in austin are like so tight i really like am envious of the we did comedy together in austin crew it is kind of like we went to college in boston together like there's

just this camaraderie that is is great that um yeah what is it what is it about Austin that bonded you guys so hard? I don't know. It was... I mean, it's obvious, Jordan. They all hate Jeter. Yeah, it's all about baseball. Baseball-based. And they want to keep things weird.

They love keeping it weird. Yes, we started it. Tie-dyed. Yes, tie-dye. Sixth Street. It was... You know, it was 2000 when I started. I think Chris started just before me.

And like I started February 2000. He started, I think, late 99. And Martha Kelly moved there. She'd already been doing stand-up a few years in L.A. and then moved to Austin. And then along with lots of other people. You know, this is before YouTube and everything. And it was really just a sort of

labor of love doing standup. And I think it was also like that sort of the Houston had the Bill Hicks kind of crowd. And there was just this old time comedy cowboy scene in Austin, same thing with the music. And it just, it just sucked you in, you know, and I'd moved there after I graduated from college. I didn't know anybody. And that's kind of where I met all my friends was doing standup. And it was just, I mean, I have video, a home video of a party at my house when I was like, it was like 2003 and Chris is in it. Like, I mean, like all these people are in it when we're all very young and it's just it is it's just a love fest you know it's a angel we're all very drunk though also we were drunks also we

were blackout drunk all the time and we drank five six nights out of the week every week man austin like the the drinking in austin is just like chef's kiss. It's just the best. It's insane. The drinking and then the eating. It's like, oh, let's drink. We'll all be equally poison-level drunk, and then let's go just have a big bowl of cheese. Our old college buddy runs a restaurant in Austin called Banger's. Shout out to Banger's.

And it is a restaurant that's dedicated to like piles of meat and giant beers. Like a little fancy in that department, but like not that fancy. But it is so huge. Like it is just a gargantuan field of meat. it is so huge like it is just a gargantuan field of meat and you think like how could this mid-sized city even have enough people in it to fill this this meat pavilion of a restaurant and then you get there when like things are popping and it is it is as though you know it is as though it is caveman times and a bunch of mammoths accidentally ran off the cliff that's right above the village and they all died and we have to eat it all before it

goes bad it is extraordinary it it is i felt i got sucked into that and when i moved to la in 2004 the transition of like oh we're not all getting shit-faced tonight like i just it was the transition of like, oh, we're not all getting shit-faced tonight. Like, I just, it was the sort of, oh, what, we're not eating at two in the morning? What's happening? I can't, you know? And so it was such, it's, when you go, when I go back to Austin, I could still do that. I mean, I'm not saying I would, but there's people I know that are still like, oh yeah, let's, that's what we're doing tonight, what you did 20 years ago. I think there is also the culture of driving three hours to a special meet. Yes, yes, special meet.

Right, and waiting for the meet in a lawn chair for a few hours. Salt Lake, Driftwood, Texas, yes, many times. You get to Austin and you're like, well, Austin, you're famous for your barbecue. Where should I eat this famous Texas brisket? And they're like, okay, so you're going to want to rent a Jeep. You'll need all-wheel drive. Yeah. Jump in an inner tube.

Put a couple kegs in the back. Right. Bring jerky and block off two weeks in your calendar. Yes. But Philly's a meat town, right? You have access to appalling meats in Philadelphia, right? Yeah, there's a meat intake system into our house, like a pump. Yeah, I mean, you know, I was older when I moved here. I don't, you know, I'm not concerned with, you know,

where can I get mass quantities of food when I want to. I really need somewhere to shovel food in my face. The, you know, it's the cheesesteak, the roast pork is a big sandwich. I'm actually not a huge meat eater. I don't get excited. I like a good hamburger. But you love that famous Austin bowl of cheese. Oh, God. Queso, I mean, yeah, I love a bowl of queso. And sometimes there's a Tex-Mex that's

in my neighborhood, Tex-Mex place. And they just were like, we have it's chile de queso. It's not quite a Tex-Mex phrasing, as you would just say queso. And I'm like, if I get that, it's not going to be how I want it, and I'm going to be disappointed, so I can't get it. They call something breakfast taco somewhere, and I'm like, I'm going to get it, and it's not going to be what I think a breakfast taco is, so I can't get it. Michelle, how do you feel about Pennsylvania's pennsylvania's signature breakfast uh sawdust patty scrapple oh i've never had it i can't yeah i've i've sat i've sat in places where it has been

served like there's a there's a food place there's a food place here which is hopefully going to survive called redding uh redding terminal it's uh it's oh yeah bright and center city it's it's awesome we've been there Jordan and I Jordan and I did uh Jordan Jesse Go in Philadelphia many years ago I mean 10 plus years ago and I I don't know did you eat there with me I definitely ate there at like uh uh at like an Amish breakfast place. Yes, Byler's. Yeah, I don't remember that. That sounds fun.

Love an Amish breakfast. I love a breakfast that is, I love a humble breakfast. Well, that place has lots of, I think what Jesse's trying to tell you is that he ate donuts or pastries because that's what that place makes, right? I actually just got Byler's Don we got there's another one um here on penn's campus where we're very close to and we we got a dozen donuts uh this week on like on friday

and uh but no i i love like reading is great and there's tons of food there it's also there's no way it can exist in these covet times it is, let's pack everybody in while they're holding two sandwiches. But it's a big food court. And everybody sits at one long table at the top of the hour. There's a coughing contest. While a 95-year-old plays a piano in the middle of all

the people eating, every single part of it is not going to work for the next year and a half. And we eat squares of hog tail mixed with sawmill leavings. I don't want to shit on Scrapple, and I'm not sure if that's what they do or not, because I wouldn't want to look into it. But I've eaten enough weird stuff in my life to where I'm like, I like sweetbreads, you know? Like, I mean, there's things I eat that maybe other people would think are gross, but I think Scrapple

might just be a thing that someone eats to say that they eat. You know, I like bacon. I ate Scrapple and I can't tell you, I can't sit here and tell you it's better than bacon, but I can tell you I enjoyed it. I enjoyed eating Scrapple, but I'm a sucker for a pork patty. I like a pork patty. You tell me you're giving me a salty pork patty and I'm pretty much on board whether or not the binder is Douglas fir. Yeah, exactly. I guess if they were, the fact that they sort of try to make it seem as unappealing as possible by like, let's give it, you know, this scrapple, you know, let's,

let's call it, let's, it's, let's put the word crap in there somewhere. And then they were going to call it garb flats. Yeah, exactly. You want to stink them?

I mean, it's how it works. It's why gritty works. You know what I mean? It's like, you look at gritty, you think, why why and i'm like gritty is like the scrapple of mascots you know you're like i can't believe i fell in love with you in 24 hours right i mean you just one could one me over gritty one could imagine if you would take off gritty's head it would just be

a pile of scrapple shaped like a band oh definitely definitely like when you unwrap a mummy and it's just like beetles or something like that yeah gritty is just scrapple that has been animated somehow it's why he has to express himself through his butt his google eyes because if he ever opened his mouth it would just be like a you know a linda blair scrapple cannon right it would just fire pork all over the ice i didn't know gritty's gritty's head went 360 degrees well i don't like that very much yeah and when he was masturbating with that crucifix really wait a second hey really distracted me from the hockey game oh gosh that that upside down bear crawl he must work out really i mean that's a difficult move to make someone please make a gritty exorcist mashup video someone

you've got the time i know you have the time because he really i mean those those googly eyes would do some fun stuff in some of those Linda Blair, you know, possessed moves. It really would. We'll give everybody a chance to work on their vids. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Hey, Jordan, we've got a message up on the Jumbotron this week. Well, it was actually, this is from Aaron Laid. And he actually just sent us a nice note about Jordan Jesse Goh in tough times. And we are very grateful to you, Aaron. Thank you for supporting the show with the Jumbotron spot. You could have just emailed us at JJ go at maximum fund.org. So we know that you, well,

we hope that you chose to support us in addition to that. And it wasn't just that you didn't know about that email. I'd feel bad about that. But Aaron, I got to tell you, this has been a tough time in my life. And I feel the very same way about Jordan Jesse Go. I'm grateful that I get to come on here with my friend Jordan and our awesome, talented buddies and do this once a week. It's been a real saving grace for me too. So thank you for those kind thoughts. And thanks to everybody who's shared with us a nice message like that. It really means the world.

Yeah. It's really, really nice to hear. And, um, yeah, I feel like I go for, uh, I've had recent weeks where I'm like, huh, I don't think I've laughed or talked. So yeah, it's so nice to come on here and, uh, and gab with everybody. I always, always laugh my butt off and it's always a great time. And, yeah, and the fact that people appreciate it and listen is an awesome bonus. I want to thank everybody again. If you want to get up on the Jumbotron, MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention, I think our listeners,

many of our listeners know that I have a vintage store at PutThisOnShop.com. And we are having a big summer sale trying to clear out some stuff. And I'm going to be honest with you, trying to keep our shop guy employed. So you can go to PutThisOnShop.com. There are all kinds of amazing gifts and doodads, pins, jewelry, clothes, all kinds of stuff there at putthisonshop.com. And if you use the code summersale, you get 40% off basically everything. The only exception is the fine jewelry, the gold stuff and so forth. And you can get 25% off that with the code fine summer so go to put this on shop.com and use the code summer sale for 40 off tiny shoes that's one of the items on the front page right now is tiny shoes uh

we got a oh we got a little tiny pipe we got an enormous toothbrush there's an enormous toothbrush on the front page of put this on shop.com right now. It's like two feet long. It's really great. I love it. And do you want to know what it says on it, Jordan? Sure. It says Dr. West's Miracle Tuft. Okay.

It's good. It's a good text. I mean, if you're going to buy a giant toothbrush, you should probably say Dr. West's Miracle Tuft on it, right? Might as well. I can't think of anything better. End of the day, that's sort of how it works. So so yeah put this on shop.com and you can use the code fine summer for 25 off fine jewelry and summer sale for 40 off everything else we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, effective. Michelle Balloon, the corn dog queen. It's a dope nickname. That's solid work.

It's really good. Thank you. Thank you. When you're dogging, Michelle. Yes. Oh, yeah. And that's what I call eating a corn dog. I know that. Never microwave a corn dog. If you have to have one at home, always take the time to put it in the oven. Trust. I was going to ask if you're dunking. Are you dunking it? Yes. Or are you just going raw? Dunkin' ketchup and mustard. I need lots of it. I want to kind of go for the middle where the ketchup and mustard meet,

get a little both on there, and then, yeah. Yeah. I love it. You are the corndog queen. I am. You passed the test. That's why you booked me.

There was a period when i was like 13 or 14 that was after my dad got his post-traumatic stress disorder certified so he was getting he was getting a pension from the navy uh and so we we went from very lower middle class to middle middle class like almost overnight when I was like 13 or 14. And one of the things that happened was we joined Costco. I know where this is going and I love it. My stepmother was always, I think she was, my stepmother is a very good cook, but I think she was self-conscious about her ideas about how good of a cook my mom was and also i was like a picky eater as a especially as a littler kid and so she was always felt weird about cooking food for me

and so there was this period right after we joined costco where always in the freezer there was an enormous box of corn dogs i ate so many corn dogs and honestly i'm not mad about it because corn dogs are fucking good corn dogs are good as shit good corn dogs taste great and i even like and i have to say it's all about that corn because i even like like the sort of trader joe's like veggie corn dogs you know i of course like i want the original but it really just, if you do that sort of the, the, the texture switch up right. And the flavor, right. It's fine.

Whatever, whatever you want to put in the middle there, I'm good with, as long as it's not like a carrot or something. I don't really do home corn dogs. Maybe I, uh, maybe I need to, uh, change my lifestyle. I mean, at the very least, I think you should bring it up with your nutritionist and see what she has to say. Yeah. I, I, yeah, I, I currently, I think there's corn dogs in the house because I have an almost eight-year-old,

but no, I don't do a lot of home corn dogs either. I like how we say home corn dogs. Yes. It sounds like, oh, I bought an oximeter just in case and also home corn dogs. I mean, that is unquestionably an item, as you mentioned, Michelle. If there's any item that benefits from oven cooking, and particularly, like, you got a convection oven, you got an air fryer one step above the convection oven, anything that can crisp that thing up, what you do not want is a soggy microwave corn dog. You want that crispy, crunchy exterior. Steamed corn dog. Oh, no.

And it's like, that's like the kind of thing, like if like my husband were to prepare for me a corn dog and then God forbid he loses his mind and microwaves it and then brings it to me where you're like, I know this person just did something nice for me, but I have to tell him it's the worst and what the fuck is this, you know? But take this swill away, yeah.

Right, if there's a little piece of the batter that's been ripped off because it stuck to a paper towel. Oh. Yeah. It's, yeah. That's what you don't want. God, did you notice that we all just gave a moment of silence for that corndog yeah r.i.p gone too soon but there's nothing nothing beats a fair

corndog and i honestly but you know they have the ice cream man that comes around like why don't they have a corndog man i just thought of that if there was a fucking corndog man that came around with his corndog song i would be outside so fast if there if i was like holy shit i'm gonna get a fair corndog on my block that would be amazing is there and well and here's the thing too whatever this dude is using to shoot corndogs out of a out of a van he could also make some funnel cakes you know what i would love to see and he could also make some funnel cakes. You know what I would love to see?

My thinking around this corndog truck situation of corndog van. Yeah, which is a great idea. We all agree. First of all, I'm excited about that mobile deep fryer. I'm thrilled to think of that hot oil sloshing around in the back of there. They probably got some kind of special cover to lock it down, and it explodes like a pressure cooker where the seal didn't melt or whatever. washing around in the back of there. They probably got some kind of special cover to lock it down. Then it explodes like a pressure cooker where the seal didn't melt or whatever. But the other thing that I'm thinking about is,

you know how on the outside of an ice cream truck is just a bunch of paintings of Sonic the Hedgehog by people who've heard about Sonic the Hedgehog but never seen Sonic the Hedgehog. They can't keep up with what's popular. I don't think I've actually seen a Sonic in the wild, but yes, a lot of Disney characters and a lot of like- A faded Smurf.

Oblong Spongebobs. Yeah. So what I'm thinking here is I'm thinking this corndog thing, number one, this corn dog thing is not for kids. This is for grownups. This is for me and Michelle and Jordan and Brian. This is for us. I essentially just, I would like to point out

I thought it was my own idea, but I essentially just said, invented a food truck, which already exists. Let's go on with this being a great idea I had. But yes, it would be because it's in the vein of corndogs go jesse make sell it sell it i'd like to see it with beloved characters on the exterior but they would not be animated characters because it's for

fucking babies we all know cartoons are for babies it would be like don draper yes i was just thinking the cast of the wire i was thinking no justified you are for babies. It would be like Don Draper. Yes. I was just thinking. The cast of The Wire. I was thinking, no, Justified. You know what I mean? It would be, what's his face? Oh, yeah. His character.

We get Goggins on there. Oh, I would. You know what? That would be amazing. I take back that thing about Don Draper. It's all different Gogginses. That would be, oh. Baby Billy.

That would be amazing. The guy from, the character from Justified. Yes. The unicorn. The character from that sequel to Major League. I'm about to rewatch that whole series. And I'm going to be thinking about it the whole time, how amazing that would be to have Goggins dogs.

Doggins. Porn Goggins. Brian, get Goggins on the phone. We got something to pitch to him it's a little something I like to call a brand extension it's like this is gonna extend his brand about six to eight inches

and then shove it on a stick yeah there we go you're gonna shove that brand on a stick oh I love it this is like a think tank here you just put all the ideas in. You guys just sort of spread them out.

We need some angel investors to come in. That's what we need. Pour them in, spread them out. Now, all I'm thinking about is corndogs right now. When something momentous happens to you, like you have a nearly perfect business idea, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN or send us a voice memo at jjgoeatmaximumfun.org

for our long-running and beloved segment, Momentous Occasions. And I'm not going to lie, ain't nobody leaving the house right now. Ain't nobody doing shit. So if you got a momentous occasion, it's probably getting on the fucking show. Yeah.

Brian, play whatever the cat dragged in this week. Hey, Jordan, Jess, and guests. This is Jeff from Houston calling my momentous occasion. My seven-year-old son decided to combine his three favorite interests, talking endlessly, his iPad, and his favorite PBS kid show about animals. He discovered the memo function on his iPad and was very excited to make his first quote-unquote podcast. I use quotes because it's not a podcast,

it's a recording that remains on his iPad that no one else hears. He has recorded several hours worth of episodes and even has a signature sign-off that he ends every episode with. I knew I had to call you guys whenever the other day we overheard him not only asking his listeners to rate and subscribe, but also to consider supporting his podcast with donations. So, Jesse, if Maximum Fun needs a podcast by a seven-year-old boy on the spectrum where he talks about wildcats for hours. You got our number to steal my son's signature sign off. I'm waving bye. And now I'm pressing stop.

Fuck yeah. That's an awesome catchphrase. I love it so much. It's so real. We're, we're laughing. But if, if you did put that on the network how long till it becomes more popular than this show oh two episodes honestly we wouldn't even have to do

we wouldn't it wouldn't even have to be about wild kratts we could do it about kratts creatures their previous show from 20 years ago and that would be more popular than the show right away immediately more popular than the show uh now michelle i know you have young children at home i have one young child oh okay are you teaching are you teaching them about podcasting um yeah you know they've been doing zoom camps the whole summer and so they've done they've done a lot of digital art creation but they also did one of the earlier camps they did one of the places they do camps out of is this place called um art 504 out of new orleans they have amazing zoom camps they're going to be having

them through the school year so i'm going to plug them because they were great um they did a funny videos camp and it was like a sketch improv person who was like the person teaching it i tried not to butt in but so i had to watch my was it was it chris katan it was chris katan i was like why can you do i would just request things could you please just ask him to do mango um and um it's a little bit of mango the kids won't get it but i'll love it let's can you ask him if he'll talk to me about lauren michaels um uh but but it was uh but i let them go off okay but i also was like you need to have a beginning middle and end like i was very much like it's hard for me not to inject myself into that and just say listen i could let you go on and on, or I could do a

favor to the entire world and tell you when to finish. And, um, so, but yeah, so they have been creating and, uh, they've learned how to, um, to do videos and they've also, um, been, uh, learning to do, um, just, uh, they have like Procreate on their iPad, and just doing lots of great different art stuff. And they're really, really good at it. They have not ventured into podcasting yet. No. Sorry, I spaced out for a minute.

We're talking here about the Kratt brothers? Yeah. I don't even know what the Kratt brothers are. They're the hosts of Kratt's Creatures and Wild Krat's. Yeah, I missed it. I think that my kid never, I never, I never heard of it. And I think my kid never, maybe. I just let them run off with their iPad and their Netflix accounts.

And maybe they like it. I don't know. Do you know what your kid is into kids show wise? Yeah, Adventure Time. Adventure Time. Adventure Time. They love Adventure Time. They are starting to get into

because they have now HBO Max and Disney Plus and all this stuff. They like this show called Sam and Cat, which I believe has Ariana Grande and some other person. It's apparently a mashup of shows. But we just started watching Futurama together, which has some dated humor

that's sometimes mildly offensive that might sure I have to yeah put in context um and uh but yeah they uh they yeah Futurama needs a warning like gone with the wind now there is so many gay jokes in Futurama uh Futurama it's insane watching it from the first but honestly like my kids old enough to where they get it like they get it that this was the old people times. You know what I mean? Listen, mom, you hear the letters in the LGBTQ+. It's very much like we are just at the age where I'm like,

no, I tell you what's what. It's not quite switched over, but it's definitely, there's some confidence in there that I might be too old for my britches. Um, but, uh, but no, they,

they like lots of, I showed them Jim Gaffigan last night for the first time. Um, and kids love Gaffigan. I, I don't watch comedy specials. I really don't. And,

um, but I just wanted them to, I knew that they, and they lost their fucking shit. I had to put a video on Instagram and Twitter of them. Just, they lost their shit for an hour watching Jim Gaffigan. And it was very, and it was funny. I mean, Jim Gaffigan's great. So, you know, you, and you mentioned having HBO max, are you considering maybe doing like a dead deadwood rewatch with them? You know, I let them watch such violent video games

that I play that the fact that I would not, that I will, I draw the line at like, listen, I'm watching this post-apocalyptic show, Brazilian show on Netflix. You cannot watch it. It's not for kids. But you can watch me play Red Dead Redemption for three hours, you know?

And so it is a double standard a little bit but yeah so not quite yet but they you know it's uh we started watching beetlejuice tonight so like it's like everything i just judge like as it happens i'm sorry for i i feel i feel like i we didn't give the podcast guy enough time and i just want to say i love that you're that that his son's that his son's doing that. It's fantastic. I watched a fair amount of this Elmo talk show

on HBO Max. And I can't call myself a big Elmo fan. This hot take from 20 years ago is that if you're a grown-up, Elmo sucks. And it's true. And it's true.

It's true. Like, if you're a grown-up, Elmo sucks. We didn't grow up with him. Yeah. Like I, you know, Barney sucks too. There you go. I said, you know, I'm not afraid to push these buttons here, but honestly, I fuck with that

Elmo talk show. I really enjoy that shit. It's got fucking Ernie's. He's backstage wearing headphones, doing dumb Ernie shit. I love it I'm what the Jonas Brothers are on there they seem fun like I'm I'm all the way into it I love Muppets

the I watched the Muppets now show that is on Disney Plus and it has the that's it's it has a joke that it made me laugh harder than any joke this year and it is Kermit's trying to interview RuPaul, but all the other Muppets are like such big fans that they come in and like

just start peppering RuPaul with questions. And then Gonzo comes in and of course none of his questions make sense. And he says, so RuPaul, have you heard that when you're asleep, you eat eight spiders a year? Don't you wish you could be awake when that happens? That's the best.

It's insanely funny. I would have just, yeah, that's the best. That is so funny. Well, let's take another call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, Sunny D, and I'm going to guess Lori Kilmartin. Oh, close. This is David from Wisconsin with Momentous Occasion.

I was just driving in a more rural part of northern Wisconsin and saw a billboard for what I can only assume is a local business of some kind. And it was a little hard to decipher because the logo for the business was kind of in a calligraphy type font. But I think the name of the business is Kegel Cheese. I think it's called kegel cheese okay uh that's it i love the show thanks bye this yeah i mean this bagel scientific name for it i just want to say that i am actually from northwestern Wisconsin, and I'm from Grantsburg, Wisconsin. That's where I went to high school.

So I was hoping that he would say. And both of my sisters worked in a cheese factory in our town, and I was so hoping what he was going to say was something I would say, oh, my God, that was in town. But I have never heard of Keg um i uh uh that guy was clearly high yeah he was he was high and uh and and i'm glad that he was really sitting in it i i actually googled kegel cheese there's a kugel's cheese in northern wisconsin newton or what's to a town uh let's see kugel's cheese mart let's say 715 715 area code is it uh 920 area code on the

page oh i don't know i don't know that that must be northern northern i clicked on gift boxes and there's there's only text that says, there aren't any products in this collection. Maybe I don't have the tab. Let's take another call. Hiya, Jesse. Hi, Jordan. And guest, I'm going to say Riley Silverman.

Close. I'm calling from Salt Lake City, Utah, with a combo momentous occasion and moment of shame. Recently, I got a little sad and a little drunk because my destination wedding originally scheduled for this summer was canceled due to COVID. During this frowny drunk moment, I thought it would perk me up to call and wish you all a happy anal August. So I did. Or I thought I did. I was apparently too drunk to notice that I instead called my local Wells Fargo bank

and wished their after hours customer support voicemail a happy anal August instead. Okay. Love instead. Okay. Love you. Bye. Love you too. No fucking shame in that. Yeah, there's no shame and there's no paper trail.

I mean, it's just... Michelle, I was going to do a song. Sorry, God. It's okay. I'll do it. Yeah, no, it's so good. Oh, the Wells Fargo wagon is a coming up your ass.

There we go. There we go. In August, it has to be just special. In August. 31 days. Then it's over. Beautiful. I love it.

I love everything about this call. That's wonderful. I like that it seems so bad. Like she was like, oh, I was being so bad. Like I ate two slices of cheesecake. I called Will Sparkle. I said, Adel, I was being so bad. Like I ate two slices of cheesecake. I called Will Spargo. I said anal, you know, so bad. I'm like, do you want to?

I'm a little twisted. Like these big banks don't know about Anal August when they're plowing us in the tail all year long. Thank you. Thank you. With their overdraft fees. Their low quality free coffee. Yeah. Get better coffee.

No, the pods aren't good enough. Run out of their deposit slips. Just trying to get into the bank. Thank you. Trying to do my business. No pencils. Home loans. Yeah.

Investment advice. Give me a break. Yeah. Give it a break. Yeah. Give it a rest. Sounds like the Wells Fargo wagons are coming up your ass, if you know what I mean, right? You guys know what I mean? Yeah. Please flare the bass for me.

The Wells Fargo wagon is coming up your ass. Is that how it went? 206-984-4FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Hi, everybody. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Sydney McElroy. We're both doctors and...

Nope, just me. Okay, well, Sydney's a doctor and I'm a medical enthusiast. And we create Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine. Every week I dig through the annals of medical history to bring you the wildest, grossest, sometimes dumbest tales of ways we've tried to treat people throughout history. Lately, we do a lot of modern fake medicine because everything's a disaster. But it's slightly less of a disaster every Friday right here on MaximumFun.org as we bring you Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine. And remember, don't drill a hole in your head. Hi, I'm James, host of Minority Corner, which is a podcast that's all about intersectionality.

It's hosted by James with the guest host, every week. Discussing all sorts of wonderful issues, nerdy and political. Pop culture. Black queer feminism. Race, sexuality. News. You're gonna learn your history, their self-empowerment, and it's told by what feels like your best

friend. Why should someone listen to Minority Corner? Why not? Oh my god, free stuff. There's not free stuff. The listeners of Minority Corner will enjoy some necessary LOLs, but mainly a look at what's happening in our world through a colorful lens. People will get the perspective of marginalized communities.

I feel heard. I feel seen. Like you said, you need to understand how to be more proactive in your community, and this is a great way to get started. Join us every Friday on MaxFun, or wherever you get your podcasts. Minority Corner, because together we're the majority. It's Jordan, Jesse O. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Michelle Balloon, as always, the corndog queen. I like that you're claiming this is a permanent state now. It is. I thought you guys were going to, I guess I knew you wouldn't change it up. But for a second there, I'm like, oh my God, I hope I don't have to think of another one. I'm like, no, I don't. I can just change the way I say it.

I get to keep the same one. Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, especially if you land on something as good as corndog queen, you're not going to want to fuck around and try and come up with a new nickname i actually and i i'm not lying but my nickname in college was corndog and i'm totally not lying i made up i did public access tv and i made up a production company to get student like money for like paper and copies and stuff and i called it corndog productions because I thought it would be funny. And so and then they did like a news story about it where they actually talked about my there as a funny name. And then some of my friends started calling me corndog.

When I envision a college student whose nickname is corndog, I always imagine that they're doing the hang loose symbol. Did you do the hang loose symbol to everyone? I, um, no, I really, I took it in a different direction. It was,

it was, uh, it was more surprise, surprise. Um, you, you didn't, you didn't think it happened,

but my nickname is corndog and, uh, and give me, give me, give me some copy. Give me some Kinko's money. Well, maybe consider now that you're, you know your corndog roots, maybe consider giving people

the Shaka bra all the time. I did at one point walk around with a yo-yo because I thought it would be cool to just be walking around campus. Now that's a college affect. There we go. Yeah,ison wisconsin or like mid 90s the onion era you know and i was like oh i can see it and i'm just like was just spinning my just like hey what's up yeah i'm i'm corn dog yeah and then i just i didn't actually call myself corn dog but then this persona i'm now refactoring does. You had the t-shirt that said corndog though.

I should have and now I want one. You went down to the custom iron-on t-shirt store. Yes, that was part of the money that they gave me. I need t-shirt money for my satin jackets and my special hello my name is corndog shirts that I had made up one for every day of the week. Michelle, it's been a joy to have you on the program. Thank you.

Michelle Balloon's brand new record is called Permanent Hat. Yes. It's from our friends at A Special Thing Records, our friend Matt Belknap, one of the co-founders of A Special Thing Records, and a longtime friend of Balloon. I put it on today and thought it was just hilarious uh lots of jokes you got some feels in there so if you're looking for all the fields uh permanent hat has you covered yes with punch lines feels with punch lines of course i'm not gonna leave you hanging yeah i just loved it and you know definitely uh here here in a hilarious comic uh with the atmosphere of a

comedy club um uh was was really great it's something i i totally missed doing so this was a a fun little uh a peek into better times i know thank thank you so much and and when i when i realized that may have been my swan song of stand-up comedy i'm glad that it was such a fun weekend uh michelle balloon uh she's on the internet on michelleballoon.com with a bi balloon it's just balloon i do own michelleballoon.com and it does forward but i'm actually balloon.com and at balloon everywhere do you have a lot of problems with people contacting you uh who are looking for misspelled balloons um yeah so much so i actually have a lot of problems with people contacting you uh who are looking for misspelled balloons um yeah so much so i actually have a secret side business um which is booming

and for you know the balloon the balloon business is just people just want balloon they just want to be happy you know sure so if you want to listen to my album listen Listen. You know, I've heard that balloon business is really popping. Wow. Wow. Home run. World champion. Take that, seven-year-old podcaster. You don't have shit like this.

What? Okay, you can find us on Facebook. I'm a grown-up. I can drive a car. In the Maximum Fun group or just search for JordanJesseGo, you can find us on Twitter at Jesse Thorne and at Jordan underscore Morris. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can find, hey, you can find me on Instagram at put.this.on. When I say me, it's partly, sometimes it's pictures that I take are of me. Sometimes it's

things related to my menswear blog and store put this on. 206-9844-FUN and jjgoeatmaximumfun.org are the way to contact us. We love you all very much. Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. is, is our producer. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.