Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 652: Ménage à Pa with Rob Kutner

Episode Date: September 2, 2020

Rob Kutner (The Daily Show, Conan, and his new show Gander) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jesse’s new unlikely love for pluots, how Rob’s son’s Minecraft skills might be his ticket to a Lambo, and Jordan’s ethics quandary around joining a Punk Rock Dad Facebook Group.Plus, Rob has a new topical comedy show with big funny names in it, (like Lewis Black, Rachel Dratch, Adam Goldberg) called Gander! Check it out!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, tunnel detective. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, I got a note on my windshield today. Oh, you know, those are, those are, in my experience, notes on windshields are usually good. It's usually just to say like,

hey, keep on keeping on. We're all in this together. Or like, I notice you got your windows tinted. It's probably cooler in there now. Clean car. Yeah. Did you go with the ceramic? Ooh, la la. Great park job. I did, Jordan. I went with the ceramic. He said it doesn't matter how dark it is, it makes it the same amount of cool

if you get the ceramic, even though it's an extra hundred bucks. I said, what's a hundred dollars to a five-year-old Volvo owner like me like me yeah that's a fun tip about window tinting i know gotta get that ceramic and you know what i'm not gonna i'm not gonna lie to you jordan this man came over and put tint in my windows he did a great job he had a lot of stars on yelp he was very nice it was a more affordable than i expected And it got so much cooler inside my car that I just had him come over two weeks later and do it to my wife's car. I was so grateful to this man. This tint man.

I'm basically at the point where anyone who will come to my house, but not in my house and do anything well, I will give them any amount of money. Have you just thought about having him tint other things around the house, like the mailbox, garbage cans? Tint them all! There's an ant man who comes, and the ant man, I'm

so grateful to see him every time he comes to my house, because I have to go let him in the gate so he can spray his ant juice on my... You know, they use pheromones to attract ants. And so he has to spray his ant juice on my... Right. You know, they use pheromones to attract ants. And so he has to spray his... So they attract the ants before they kill them? I don't know.

I mean, I'm not an ant man. That seems... I mean, that just seems cruel. I'm more of a the wasp. Right. So anyway, I'm excited to have anyone come to my house. Not least of whom is whoever left this on my windshield. And I want to be clear.

I've mentioned this on Jordan, Jesse, Go! before, but I live on a very quiet street. My street only has a house every third lot because mostly it's people's backyards. It's basically an alley. It's up against the side of a hill, so there's no houses on the other side of the street. The street's very narrow and about 200 feet past my house, it turns into a very difficult-to-navigate dirt road. This is all in the city of Los Angeles. And so no one drives down my street. Like, the only reasons that people drive down my street is because they're 17-year-olds looking for a place to use light drugs.

Right. So that's when you invite them in your rec room. Daddy's rec room? Exactly. Well, I just bring them in the back of the van. Oh, okay. So this is what I got under my, and this is maybe like two by three

or three by four inches, very small. The headline is, where are the tunnels? That's underlined. So you know it's important it says since 2013 an anonymous organization has been using shell companies to buy property en masse in downtown los angeles this is handwritten by the way this is printed this is printed on i'm gonna say this may be laser printed, Jordan. I will say that printing makes it 80% less terrifying.

Handwritten just amps up the terror to the situation so much. It would be a lot of text to block print. I mean, the truly terrifying would be if we got this paragraph of text and it was in that, you know, letters cut out of magazines. Yeah, sure. Okay. Oh, sorry, you were saying

about the Shell corporations. Yeah, so they've been buying property en masse in downtown Los Angeles. Right, sure, sure. As of now, they've purchased an estimated 30 formerly decaying sites. Be aware, this organization is secretly constructing a vast underground tunnel network. These tunnels could be located anywhere, Jordan. Possibly below one's feet at any given moment. What is their intended use? What do they look like? And what are their exact locations? Please post any available information using hashtag DTLA tunnels.

I mean, we were joking about the Marvel character, but this does sound like the plot of an Ant-Man movie. Yes. Get Hank Pym on the case Jordan they could be anywhere possibly below one's feet at any given I could be standing on top of a fucking filthy tunnel right now and I don't even know it these tunnels come into our communities tunnel gases could be leaking up into my home where my cat lives now Jordan don't get obsessed with this. It's easy to get what I call tunnel vision. Right.

I think we should introduce our guest. Yeah. And find out if he has any insight into this. A tunnel expert. Tunnel situation. From the boring company, it's Elon Musk. So we're all going to spark up a do before we get this convo rolling. Jordan, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I'm a big Elon Musk lover.

But of all the many things that Elon Musk has done for attention, starting a tunnel digging company and naming it the boring company i actually kind of support that i think that's pretty fun to me that is pretty fun that and cyber truck i like both of those things cyber truck's pretty good yeah if those were the only two things elon musk ever did he'd be a net positive but the problem is he did all those other things oh he's done so many things and then he said various things yes said them. Our guest on the program is known... Grimes seems nice. ...as comedy's Elon Musk, a longtime comedy writer for many outlets, a writer of many

great television programs, including a brand new one that we're just about to learn about. He's also the author of several comic books and of course an audio comedy series starring weirdo yankovic our friend rob cutner hi rob hi it's great to have you here was that creepy enough i can i can go i can go creepier uh yeah let's actually can we get some options on that creepiness maybe just give us one that's like an eight but then give us one that's like a four. I'm in a tunnel underneath your feet, Jordan. Whoa. Oh, shit. You hit me where I live.

In a tunnel underneath your feet? Yes. So you're in your apartment right now, but you live in a tunnel under your apartment. I rent tunnel space, actually. Oh, wow. Four square feet of tunnel. Jesse, I'm a millennialial i'll never own my own tunnel too much fucking avocado toast you moved into your parents tunnel right yeah yeah i had to

move back yeah during the pandemic i had to move back into my parents tunnel i saw a great documentary once about people who live in tunnels this is not a joke this is just a documentary that i saw one time as i recall recall, the music was by DJ Shadow. Again, not a joke, an actual memory, I'm thinking. Okay. Oh, you know, I think I saw this with you in college. Really? Jesse, that was the Peter Rabbit movie. I'm sorry. Yeah, the documentary about the Talking Rabbits with the voice of James Corden, I want to say. That's always a good guess. And it wasn't original music by dj shadow it was instrumentals from his hyphy album uh rob i wanted to compliment you um in person or on the podcast as close to in person as as what can get um some might even say this is more personal than in person

um i wanted to compliment you on the like on on the the dadding that you do on facebook it is really very good uh that is um is there a faint praise emmy is that a no i i mean i listen i have a lot of other things i could i could say about you and your you know life and career i'm a big fan but in in particular, I do like seeing updates on Facebook from the Kuttner house. Which weird is that I live alone without kids. That's the... This just took a handwritten note kind of turn.

Well, I'm glad you enjoy it because it's one of the few outlets of sanity that we have in this situation is to share our weirdness with everyone else. what kind of dadding are you doing on facebook i have so many families rob i consider you what i consider you a favorite twitter friend but i don't think we're facebook friends uh oh jesse that's where the dad shit is no that's actually facebook slogan where the dad shit is and then and then underneath just in in smaller text that says crazy uncles a kind of dad yeah that's true that's true often unless they're childless uncles i guess

so so jordan my question for you is does this make you less or more likely to want to become a dad yourself based on what you're you're seeing fromes, from my Edward R. Murrow-esque dispatches? No, it makes me pine for daddom. I mean, as listeners to this podcast know, I got to get a son. I don't have a son. I got to get one. I wish you could get yourself a son. That's what vans are for.

But I have vans. I have checkerboard slip-ons i have a custom simpsons pair i uh have the old school comfy cush conversely that will keep you away from reproducing actually so yeah i was gonna say do you think this might be what's standing between you and getting a son hmm let's see well's see. I'll start wearing another brand of sneaker, one that does not have the entire Simpsons cast on it, and we'll see. We'll see. Hold on. But not the characters, the voice actors, right?

You go with the voice actors. Yeah. Does it have the cast or the dramatis persona? It does, yeah. It has Julie Kavner. Castling it in the house. Oh, man, I got Yardley Smith on the souls I'd take a Yardley Smith

She seems like a cool lady You know we've been watching The Simpsons With my 7 year old son Here we go dad time Dad time Because of the Disney Plus And we started watching it from the beginning And he's right at the age where he can kind of

He doesn't get all the references but he appreciates the spirit of it, likes the humor. And it is astonishing how many things they use Harry Shearer and Hank Azaria for, like how many characters. And I don't mean like the regulars that you know. It's like every time there's a guest character, it's like, well, hello, I'm a new guest character on The Simpsons. Yeah, when you do obsessively watch it um which i couldn't recommend more highly yeah um you do realize the kind of little flips on that same regular guy voice that you hear i mean they already drew lots as to who has to talk to harry shearer with the satellite line to new orleans whoever lost is like might as well get the most I can out of this.

He's going to read from the newspaper at me. I'm going to have to listen to his Tom Brokaw. He's going beneath the fold. He's going beneath the fold. He's putting on a Zydeco record. Look out!

I'm going to have to listen to Zydeco. Zydeco's fun. nothing wrong with that good good thing to have uh as my friend uh my friend pete's uh mom had for your 50th birthday party yeah you know that's a good yeah get yourself a zydeco band i do love that one zydeco song i mean the one oh yeah sure how would you compare it in your esteem to the reggae song? Guys, if you're talking about musical styles with one song, you can't beat the didgeridoo song. You know, wah, wah, wah. Yeah, sure.

Do you know there's a 10-hour loop of just one didgeridoo note on YouTube? Just one guy. This is the kind of things my son brings to me, kind of gifts. Like a cat with a dead sparrow? Yeah. He discovers things in the universe and shares them. Yeah, sons think their dads can't find

their own YouTube videos, so that's why they... I see, son, that's more of a didgeridoo. Save it for Facebook, my friend. Yeah, what else because your your son is of the like prime youtube age right yeah he's like at the age where it's all youtube minecrafters like these these 25 year old bros who just scream about youtube all i mean minecraft all day long and live in these in these mansions in te and drive Lamborghinis. I think our kids watch the same. They must.

Brian, I don't want to plug this person, so I'll say it and then you bleep it out, Brian. Does your child watch? Love you. Yes. Oh, my God. Who's like Voldemort with the nose, right? It is the worst content of any kind I've ever seen in my life. I would rather watch the triumph of the will.

Wow. It is really, it is really, he's just yells. And he's just exactly that amount of handsome that is like just enough, but not much you know what i mean right and there's this sort of like girlfriend in the picture sometimes too like there's all these things going on behind the scenes you're like what's really happening there and then they do pranks they do pranks on each other all the time and the pranks have convinced my children that they should do pranks on each other but my children don't know how pranks work or what they are or how they operate. And so it just ends up being my kids

doing things to hurt each other. It's horrible. That never would have happened without YouTube. Otherwise, it would have been book groups, grooming. Right, science experiments. Normally, siblings get along swimmingly, is my understanding, as an only child. What do you think the kids are responding to?

Like, what is it about this YouTube guy that they like? I mean, in a way, they're kind of like, honestly, they're kind of man children, right? Like, they're sort of like, they're doing all the things that the kids wish they could do, but they have agency and money, and they're, you know, I guess, successful at it, and they have millions of followers and all, so they're kind wish they could do, but they have agency and money and there's, you know, I guess successful at it and they have millions of followers and also

they're kind of living the dream, right? Oh yeah. Sure. They really do. Like when Rob says that they drive Lamborghinis, they do. They really have Lamborghinis that they show in the videos to children.

I've worked in the YouTube space. I'm aware of the strange amounts of money that are flying around it. No, the worst part of that is following them. My son calls it a Lambo. Wow. Is a Lamborghini still the coolest car? Or did it, because I mean, you know,

because like Lamborghini was like something in my childhood that like a dirtbag kid would have a poster of. Yeah, we all were desirous of Lamborghini Diablos and Ferrari Testarossas. Sure. It's Ferrari's Testarossa, technically. Thank you. Thank you, Rob. Like attorneys general, yes. I think the Lamborghini Countach was the one I always heard about.

Oh, sure. That sounds like a Ted Nugent name for a sports car. Right. It's something Ted Nugent's saying, and you're not sure if it's a slur or not. Right. He's kind of doing a trial balloon with that one. Right. They talk a lot on these videos about what girls do in Minecraft.

Okay. Like how girls do Minecraft different than boys. Yeah. It's horrible. They're like an idiot stand-up comics, but... Yeah, right. I wish I had enough Minecraft polls to do a hacky. Like, so, you know, how about these ladies?

They'd be, I don't know know but i don't know enough about minecraft mining my making bricks out of dirt nether portal redstone i could just list items i think like a like a haiku i'm just honestly it has gotten to the point in my life where if my six-year-old wants to read wants me to read to him from his early reader books that are just stills from episodes of Pokemon, I am grateful because it means that I am not reading to him from books of Minecraft builds. Oh my God. These are his soul interests. Soul interests.

Just a description of a Minecraft build. I have to say, though, it does pay dividends to some extent. I do feel like they learned something. Like my son went to a birthday party, which is a Minecraft party. Back when there were parties. Remember parties? Yeah. And it was at one of these like...

I mean, I don't personally. I had heard about them. Yeah. I meant like the wig party. Oh, yeah, sure. Absolutely. Bull news all the way in my case. But yeah, go ahead.

We went to this party and at the end of the party, so we leave the kids there. They're doing Minecraft. And I come in to pick him up at the end. And the instructor, who's this, you know, he's basically a teen, I think. And he pulls me aside, puts his arm on my shoulder. And he gives me the, your boy's got something special talk. Oh, like your son is a Minecraft prodigy? Yeah, he's a Minecraft prodigy.

So that could lead to literally fives of things, I think, in life. Rob, this is your ticket to a Lambo, baby. Pull that kid out of school. Get him crafting 24 7 and you are riding in a lambo by 2021 my friend i just i can feel it the the other thing i think and i don't know if this has happened in your family rob that has definitely happened in my family is i think some combination of these YouTube videos and quarantine. You know, my son Oscar has only actually visited

with one child his age in the last six months. That combination has led to my son narrating everything he does. Wow. Like he's his own influencer? Yeah, he is influencing himself. He just talks through whatever he's doing. Right.

And he tells his mom to smash that like button too? Yes. Ah, Jordan pulls it out. Pulls the lingo out. I like it. I've worked in the YouTube space. I just don't know about Minecraft. Like and subscribe.

Jesse, do you ever think maybe your son is just like a burgeoning NPR journalist? It's entirely possible. You know, now that I think about it, he does have a lot of atmospheric audio around. No matter what he's saying, no matter what he's saying, I hear a burbling brook or the sounds of a protest march behind him. Or an Indonesian village somehow. Exactly. Yeah. That's a good explanation, Rob.

But you know, Oscar, my six-year-old, will truly just be talking about what he's doing when no one is there listening to him. He'll ask, what's for dinner? Let us know in the comments. Yeah, exactly. Isn't that good? Because then you have some transparency, right? I mean, that's not going to last. Hold on to that.

I mean, the problem is I don't read the comments section. Never read the comments. Never. Never read the comments. Never read the comments. So you don't know. So the kids never know what's for dinner. Yeah, I don't know what I'm making for dinner even.

In the comments he says, I want spaghetti. Thanks, Obama. Right. Wake up, sheeple. I want spaghetti. Wake up. Spaghetti's the best dinner. Hey, speaking of which, that tunnel thing you guys were talking about before,

I thought that was so crazy because it's like the chemtrails thing, like they run out of sky to be scared about. It was like they've pioneered the new frontier. My daughter, who has just turned nine years old, her personal hero and sort of guru is our friend Elliot Kalin from the Flophouse. Oh, yes. My old coworker. Guru is our friend Elliot Kalin from The Flophouse. Oh, yes, my old co-worker. And Elliot Kalin has very democratic film tastes. He loves the great films of film history. He loves the great films of today.

The only category of movies he doesn't like is comedies made in the last 20 years. But my daughter has gotten from him this interest in bad movies which is weird because she does not yet know what a good movie is so she unironically likes bad movies but she understands that they're bad because she's read reviews of them because she's also very interested in Common Sense Media, the family movie review website. I feel like I didn't know, I didn't dislike a movie. I think the first movie I disliked

was the Matthew Broderick starring Godzilla movie in 1998. Ooh. I think that's the first time I'm like, did I not enjoy a movie? I love movies I love seeing a movie That's what happens That's adolescence man

You get some pubes You dislike a movie It's probably a little too late Honestly Thinking back Should have been maybe when you were 13 Instead of 16 But

We had I think we've I think we've imbued our kids with like At least the idea that there can be a bad one Even if they don't see it. Right. We went to see that Kevin Spacey movie, Nine Lives, where he becomes a cat. I don't know if you guys saw that.

Jordan, maybe too close to home. I'm living it, baby. It was, I would call it alimony payment, the movie. Right. We went to see it and we were in the movie theater and my son who's both the product of of the sort of critical upbringing i would hope and also the digital age yells out in the middle of it pause pause my daughter watched uh two days ago a movie called journey to the center of the earth the old the old one so this is from 1989. Oh.

Apparently it has nothing to do with the book Journey to the Center of the Earth or the past or more recent films of the same name. It is, in fact, a sequel to a different movie that has a different name. Terms of Endearment. Yeah, Terms of Endearment. Howard's End. a different name. Terms of Endearment. Yeah, Terms of Endearment. Howard's End. It's called The Piano 2, colon, Journey to the Center of the Earth. The stars of this movie, and I swear to God this is 100% real, are Kathy Ireland and Emo Phillips. Wow. It is not a comedy by the way i want to be clear i mean whatever it is i'm sure the chemistry is hot crackling the snap crackle pop between those two like basic instinct just pure sex

does he do the does emo do the voice though yes i think that's his voice i'm pretty sure that's how he talks i've socialized a little bit with emo phillips and if if i think that's his voice. I'm pretty sure that's how he talks. I've socialized a little bit with Emo Phillips, and I think that's his voice. I guess it would have to be, because I'm thinking like Bobcat Goldthwait, who like, you know, he has kind of a gravelly voice, but he also turns it on for that sort of thing. He doesn't always be that voice. Yeah, Bob, as I call him, my friend Bob, he talks pretty regular when he's not doing the thing. But Emo Phillips, I think he's doing the thing all the time. I mean, Jordan Jesse Goh listeners have heard Maria Bamford on this program. She talks like Maria Bamford.

I mean, she does a bunch of voices in her act, but Maria Bamford has a distinctive manner of speech. I think Emo Phillips is the same. They just found the right career for it. of speech. I think Emo Phillips is the same. They just found the right career for it. Can I ask you guys, now that I have two dads on the line, can I ask you guys a dad ethics question?

Yeah, I thought you were going to ask us for a dad three-way, but whatever. Right. The old daddy hat trick. The... Menage a pas. There you go. There you go. Yeah, that's what I was looking for.

Thank you, Rob. Oh, Rob. Consider becoming a professional comedy writer. So I was on the Facebook today. You sound like a dad when you say the Facebook. Yeah, I'm on the Facebook looking out for all the TikToks on the Facebook. Looking out for the latest TikToks. TikTok. Sure, sure see if i'm doing it again it's funny the second time yeah i think so and then the third time it's gonna be great oh just gonna we're gonna fucking

lose our shit um and so facebook is suggesting groups to me groups that i can join and one you know usually i'm listen i'm not i'm i'm not there to i'm not there to hang around in some group you know i'm here to see pictures of rob's kids playing on a homemade arcade cabinet and then i'm out of there but one group caught my eye um and this is a group it is recommended to me it is called called Punk Rock Dads. Here's the about this group. It's hard being a man these days. There's a lot of expectations.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. It really opened much more troublingly. Yeah, I know. I don't think this is going in that direction. But let me know what you guys think, because I also was concerned. It's hard being a man these days. There's a lot of expectations on us to act and be a certain way, and this can make it hard for us to express our true feelings. After becoming a dad, I have felt increasingly isolated. My life is made up of work, home duties, and my family. This doesn't leave

much room for anything else. I've always had a deep love of music and still find solace in listening to punk rock. I often find that song lyrics mirror exactly what I may be feeling. I wanted to create this page for other guys to come together and express their feelings through the power of music and lyrics. The lyrics can be whole or in part, in or out of context. It's what they mean to you that matters. This is a safe place to open up, express yourself, and support each other. Let's keep it positive. This is originating from the sunshine coast of Queensland.

In conclusion, hey there. You're an all-star. Yes, that classic punk rock anthem. So I was like, I am so curious about this, but as dads, do you think it's ethically okay for me to request to join this group if I am not a dad? Or am I dropping it? Like, is this not for me, I guess is what I'm asking. That's an interesting question. I mean, I would start by saying that it's, it's whether or not you're a dad, it's hard being a man these days.

Sure. I mean, you could just, you could just, um, you could just say you're a cat dad. That's true. A proud cat dad, a plant papa. My question is why, why you want question is why you would want to. I'm just curious. I think it's probably going to be fun. All right. So you seem like you're a bit of an anthropologist, right? Walking in there? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I enjoy discussing punk rock with people, so maybe I would get some good music recs or you know see some good i think it's i think it's okay the dad part doesn't bother me but i think you're you know you're sort of like

violating the any for like any facebook group you're sort of violating the veil of of private not privacy but let's sort of like you know non-judgmental space and all that so uh i mean or you could just you know not use protection and then get all the punk rock you want. Right. Yeah. Well, I guess maybe alternately, can I borrow one of your kids and take a picture of us in a remote? Like, I'll put the kid in a Ramones onesie. I'll take a picture of us and then that'll be my proof. Jordan, I'm going to be honest with you.

Take as many as you want. Yeah. Kids or pictures? Take as many as you want. Yeah. Kids or pictures? I mean, my only concern is that Jordan could theoretically, potentially, take one of my kids, take pictures, and then return the kid.

With a Ramones onesie that they're attached to. You have to have a lawyer draw these papers up before you agree to this. Yeah. I mean, my dream situation here is that Jordan raises my children on my behalf. Jesse, I guarantee I'd do a horrible job. I'd make it my business to do a bad job. This is all a long game just for that, right, Jesse? Oh, yeah.

Jordan and I, when I first met Jordan, when I was 19 and he was 18, and I was his RA, I said to myself, this guy, this guy is going to raise my children. This guy would raise my kid for the purposes of joining a Facebook group and not feeling bad about it. Oh, I'd love that. I love a Facebook group. Facebook group. Yeah? That's my only thing I like on Facebook, actually. What are your groups? You guys are grouping? Let's hear about these groups.

I'm in a baseball podcast group. I like that because it's other baseball nerds who are really nice. You know, sports people aren't always the most reasonable in their discursive forms. You know what I mean? Sure. the most reasonable in their discourse discursive forms you know what i mean sure sometimes a sports you know a sports subreddit or something just devolves real hard and fast sometimes and this uh podcast facebook group about baseball it's just people posting a picture of uh well i'll give you an example the other day uh major league Baseball star pitcher Zach Grenke asked them to fix the mound because he didn't like the slope of the mound.

So while the ground crew guys came out, he just sat down cross-legged immediately behind the mound and watched them fix it. Somebody posted a bunch of pictures of it. It's great. That's what I want to look at. That sounds nice. That's exactly what I want out of pictures of it. It's great. That's what I want to look at. That sounds nice. That's exactly what I want out of a baseball group is that. I don't want anything else, nothing else. Rob, you grouping?

You grouping over there? I have one that's actually structurally similar to Jesse's because what it is, it's I went to this super city conservative prep school from elementary to high school in the south. And there's this group they've started, which is – it's basically all the kids who were sort of either now or were secretly liberal. And the teachers have joined too. And it's like – what's funny is that it tracks completely with like the unpopular nerd kids you know and to some extent like there's none you know none of none of the glitterati would ever be found in this one but it's like like we never spoke to each other we never talked about this

stuff in school and it's like now we finally found each other way too late i love this so like you were all like you know you are all secretly you know listening to nwa or something but just not letting everybody else know. Exactly. We all have like really good headphones. You got to have good headphones when you're. And the other one, the other one, wait for this, Instapot recipes. Oh, yeah.

Love it. I have started joining. I've been using my Reddit as a place to look at that won't upset me on my phone. Like I took Twitter off my phone. I don't go on Facebook on my phone. I just go on Reddit and I've carefully curated it just to be only not upsetting things. So today I joined fruit.reddit.com. Wow. Because I was thinking about this great pluot that I ate.

Oh. I was like, man, I wonder if there's a fruit Reddit where I can talk about this great pluot. And is that the kind of thing that's going on on the fruit Reddit? Is it just people saying like, you know, it's stone fruit season. Somebody posted a picture of a really nice mango. Okay.

And then I'll, and then I was,. And then I'm in a couple of like, I'm in a Reddit for this kind of Japanese van that I like. It's just like an off-road van. I love the idea of an off-road van. I would never buy an off-road van, but yeah, I'll look at a picture of that once a day. You know what I mean? When you go off-road, what you want is something with a really high center of gravity right exactly and a lot of stuff you're storing in it lots of weight yeah but yeah i'm in slow

cooker.reddit.com i'm on that i love you know you guys know how i love my crockpot baby sure listen crockpot is the pot we can't talk to each other. Oh. This is a Hatfield-McCoy thing. I'm feeling a lot of pressure from your Instapot. Oh. It's also a pressure cooker. And Jesse, I think your way of cooking is a real crock.

I have no dog in this fight. I have a Crock-Pot, but I don't use it that much. Guys, I actually had a really good cooking success. Can I turn this into Cooking Corner? Yeah, sure. Do, please do. But please do not bring up that pot. Okay. It'll upset Rob. A fair point. As I've mentioned in many different ways, my entire media diet is now dedicated towards things that I'm confident won't upset me. So I'm not watching or consuming anything that could even worry me slightly. And for a long time, that meant I got this $3 a month add-on to my Amazon Prime called PBS Living. And I was watching over and over,

I was watching Antiques Roadshow. But I watched like five seasons of Antiques Roadshow. I mean, this is all the time when I'm like so anxious that I'm non-functional. I'll just go downstairs and turn on Antiques Roadshow. But now I've watched too many Antiques Roadshows. I need to take a break. So I've switched to The French Chef with Julia Child, which is so fucking great

julia child rules so hard like it is so obvious why she is a legendary it's like mr rogers where you're like holy shit this person is a genius like like a real actual genius. And you can't figure out why she talks like that or makes those faces. She gets confused and distracted in the middle of the show sometimes and then makes a funny face in the camera and then keeps going. They don't edit around it. She's in like a 1975, you know, like avocado green shag carpet kitchen. Like everything about it is amazing. And she made this soup on this one episode, potato leek soup. And she says, this is a basic soup.

You can make any kind of soup out of this. But even just on its own, it's great. And I was like, I don't know, but maybe I could make that. So I got some leeks. All you do, guys, this is really just going to be me giving out a recipe. You dice an onion and you chop up the white parts of some leeks. You saute them in oil. I had some bacon grease on my counter, so I used that. And then you put in some potatoes, any kind of potatoes.

You cover it with water and you cook them for a while. You bring it to a boil and then you simmer them for half an hour or more. You can use stock instead of water if you want to, but you don't have to. And then you blend it or you, you know, I used a stick blender. I think Julia Child used a food mill, if I remember correctly, to smooth it out. I ate the soup. That's all that's in it. I mean, you can put some salt and pepper in there. That's all that's in it.

It's great. This is a tremendous soup, guys. Everyone should be making this soup. How come everybody doesn't just say, all you have to do is cover some potatoes with water and you get a great soup? It's like pluots. I feel like it's a secret people were keeping from me. Oh, sure. Yeah. But you know what's the most humbling thing of all is you have

like these great cooking successes. And I've had some too during this time of self-cooking for sure. But you get this thing and it's like, will your kids actually eat it? No. And it's like, oh, I could have just heated up Wacky Mac. My kids got angry at me because we got a different kind of beans and rice from a restaurant for lunch today. It's their favorite food, beans and rice, but only from one restaurant. Other restaurants' beans and rice make them angry and they yell at me. Did they know? Did you tip them off or did they figure it out? They can fucking figure it out, these assholes.

Wow. You know who I bet told them? Love you. Bleep that, Brian. Bleep that. Maybe they heard it from some dirty tunnel. I don't want to get on that guy's bad side. That guy's got his own Lambo. You don't want to get plowed by a Lambo.

He'll crank the shit out of you. My kid wants a label maker because one time that YouTube person labeled everything in his house for a prank. And now she's obsessed with getting a label maker. I'm like, we don't want a label maker. Sounds pretty funny. Love you. Bleep that.

Rob, what do you guys... Because I do... In the Facebook dadding that I was complimenting earlier, I have seen some good cooking experiments. What have you guys been up to? Well, I will say, I will say my, my, my daughter and I, my daughter's 11 and she's getting into cooking with me, which is actually a nice, a nice, uh, uh, outcome of all this. So we made, she got me a little pasta maker for father's day and we made,

uh, completely homemade homemade ramen which was pretty awesome took all day i mean the product that takes 30 seconds usually it's been all day but it was totally worth it i mean that really is a like a real project making ramen like the point of ramen in a in a fast food ramen restaurant you know like, like from the film Tampopo, is that they're cooking it all day long. Yeah. Like they, so they just have a vat of it ready to go. Yeah. It's got, it's got, it's got a stew for a long time. And, and the noodles too, the noodles have a whole crazy chemistry to them, which I didn't even know. You have to like, you have to like heat up baking soda in the oven until it becomes this different product. Then you have to use that.

You know the noodles are so springy. It gives them this kind of spring to them. It's crazy. How did it come out? It was great. It was great. I mean, it was so good. And I was like, we should make ramen again.

And my wife's like, why don't we block out some time before we do that? Yeah, you do it once a year. You have ramen day. Yeah. It's like giving blood. You don't want to do it too often. Yeah, yeah. You'll get woozy.

Speaking of getting woozy, let's take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Coming to your Disney Plus app-based television delivery system. Yeah, it's from the Jim Henson Company. It's about a giant, crazy alien puppet and his crew who decide to have a talk show. They beam celebrities aboard the ship and just make them endure such nonsense. It was a ton of fun. A lot of Jordan Jesse Go favorites involved. Eliza Skinner was the head writer.

Past guests, Sierra Cotto and Nick Weiger were two of the writers. And yeah, it was just a blast. Some of the most fun I've ever had working on TV. And I hope you guys check it out. Earth to Ned Disney Plus on September 4th. Give it a watch. And if you like it, say something nice on social media. It would really go a long way.

Okay. Thanks a bunch. Back to the show. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Can I tell you guys something important? Yes When? I don't really I don't really even like apricots And I don't care that much about plums So why do I love pluots so much? I think it's the feeling of miscegenation That's my America

That's what my America looks like it's a taboo quality to it it's my favorite dried fruit i definitely like you know pluot dried pluot yeah i'm trying to find some healthier snacks these days and uh yeah you can grab some dried pluots uh that's not just like pluot that have been neglected no. I think they've been professionally dried. Deliberately dried. Deliberately, on purpose. Yeah, great snack. Where are you getting dried pluots? That's a nice luxury product.

I don't want to be this fucking guy. I've never heard Jesse so jealous, so nakedly jealous. I don't want to be this fucking guy, but I'm kind of a farmer's market guy. I do a farmer's market trip every week, okay? I'm not going to be a fucking farmer's market person who yells at you about it, but I'm kind of a farmer's market guy. I do a farmer's market trip every week, okay? So shut the... I know. I'm not going to be a fucking farmer's market person who yells at you about it, but I do it. I like to do it. It's fun. It's a good way to get fresh

produce. I go to the farmer's market. There's not any fucking dried pluots at my farmer's market. Pasadena High School. Oh, yeah. I don't know. What's so great about your fucking farmer's market that it gets these dried pluots? Whoa. Okay. Listen, I don't want to be a fucking three white guy podcast talking about farmer's market that it gets these dried pluots. Whoa. Okay, listen. I don't want to be a fucking three white guy podcast talking

about farmer's market. Well, congratulations Jordan. It's your fault. You're the one who brought up your special fucking pluots that are dried out that aren't just neglected pluots like a normal person would have. It's a good dried fruit. It's a good

dried fruit and I will not bring up going to a farmer's market ever again. I apologize. A pluot is almost crispy. It has such a wonderful texture. It's like a, but so flavorful. Pluots. When something

momentous happens to you, like you go to the fucking farmer's market, you get yourself let's no more let's never talk about myself my special little dried pluots at the farmer's market that i get i bring my own bag okay i bring my own bags i bring my own bag we're not allowed to have them in pasadena where the plebes go to the farmer's market oh oh, Jesse, you like that one? Because it's got a meat guy? Well, we've got dried pluots, so sucks to your asthma.

Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Flies reference. Sounds like Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Flies reference. Good old blue-collar working-class Pasadena. Okay, when something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN, as this person has done.

Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and probable guest. This is Kyle from Brooklyn, and I'm calling in about a momentous occasion. I just did my required daily government walk through Prospect Park, and at one of the entrances, I saw a barbecue. Pause it for a second, Brian. Rob, just so you know, I don't know if you know this.

I don't know if you get the updates from the government. The government says, ever since we've been in a pandemic, the government says every day, go for a little fucking walk. Go outside and go for a little... Hi, this is Governor Gavin Newsom. Go for a little walk, you fucking asshole. You love it. You love...

Ooh, it's a good way to stay connected with your community. Isn't this fun? Isn't this more fun than fun? Hi, it's... What font is that? What font did they do that sarcasm in? Because it sounds really efficacious. Hi, it's me, font is that? What font did they do that sarcasm in? Because it sounds really efficacious. Hi, it's me, Dianne Feinstein.

If you love going for little fucking walks so much, why don't you give him a kiss? I'm a U.S. Senator. 85 years old. Okay, go ahead and press play, Brian. Just wanted to give you the background on the little walks. Through Prospect Park and one of the entrances, I saw a barbecue making a lot of smoke. As I looked over, I saw a very, very attractive man. He was tall and he was topless,

except for an apron, cooking a bunch of good smelling meat on the barbecue. And I realized I have discovered a pit hunk, just like Jesse Thorne referenced in a recent episode. I'm very happy to have found a pithunk in my neighborhood. Anyways, roll in 2020. Love you guys. Yeah, pithunk. I actually found a pithunk in my pluot. It's a stone fruit, so there's going to be a pithunk in there. Going to be a stone fruit. Jordan, what would you say is your top stone fruit? in there. It's got to be a stone fruit. Jordan, what would you say is your top stone fruit? Boy, I mean, I don't know. You know, maybe this is just my southern heritage, but I love a peach.

I love a peach. I love a nectarine. Yeah, they're so good. A peach? I'm one of these people, I don't know if you know about this group of people, but I'm one of these people who's a little grossed out by eating fuzzy fruits. I have to slice... I didn't know you were a group, but I just want to say you're... I doused mine in nair before you came. You love a hot, young, shaved peach.

I am genuinely a little grossed out by fuzzy fruits, but a ripe peach, like an okay peach, there's a big difference between an okay peach and a great peach. But I think a great peach might literally be the best food in the world. It is an extraordinary food. I like them firm, too. I love them firm.

I don't like it too juicy. It grosses me out. I know exactly what you mean. You guys are hurting me a little bit because I love stone fruits too, but I have this weird allergy. It's just like the skin of stone fruits. Really? Rob? Yeah, it's like this tantalus thing because they're all around me. They're so good. But you know, unlike if you peel an apple or a banana or something like that, it's pretty easy to peel it. But peeling a stone fruit, I mean, that's like, you've got to get like you know one of the mock four

razors like i don't know how you do that that thin skin it's the the labor to pay off is not quite it's if you could if you could find some sort of like hypoallergenic like those egyptian cats some sort of weird looking hairless peach. Yeah. Or someone, alternately someone from Egypt to just peel them for me. Oh, yeah. That would be nice. Go Fiverr. Yeah. My brother, did you know my brother Brendan has a couple of those cats?

Oh, yeah? They are really something. They are both adorable and terrifying. Yeah. They have nice personalities. Their personalities are really cute. But, yeah, I do not like looking at or touching them myself. I think they've been very nice.

I think they're nice pets, probably. You know what I really like? I like a Xolo dog. You know those dogs? No, I don't. It's a Mexican type of dog that is almost completely, not exactly 100 100 completely hairless it's got some hair like on its on its head and a little bit of like uh of uh i think it's got maybe a little bit of a ridge of hair on its on its back but pretty close to completely hairless uh and they're like they're just the

neatest and i do like petting them i like petting the hairless dog i have petted them and i've enjoyed it. Robert, are you guys pet people? I guess I have not seen any pets. Yeah, you would know about it if we were. We can't have them where we are. But I was a dog kid growing up. And for some reason, I wanted a cat though.

And I think when I was two, I kept asking for a cat and my my mom finally said no your dad's allergic to cats and i said okay well when daddy dies can we get a cat that's awesome so i was a cold ass motherfucker even though yeah boy fucking single-minded single-minded you old so-and-so okay uh we actually we got an email here we got one more actually, we got an email here. We got one more call, but we got an email. We were talking last week about Sweet James, Los Angeles' most beloved new billboard lawyer. You familiar? Rob?

I was literally driving by that today and thinking about, like, is that what you want in a lawyer? His sweetness? Like, is that the first quality? And his, like, font? Non-confrontational bill. And, yeah, as you were about to say, Jordan, I think, his font is the...

Like baseball jersey font. Yeah, like if you had a softball team named after it. So we got an email from a listener in Austin, Texas, about a lawyer named David Comey. And Brian has shared this photograph of a David Comey billboard. David Comey, I'm going to say, is about 47 years old. His face looks like the Big Lebowski, and his hair looks like Adam Duritz from Counting Crows.

Yeah. And his slogan is, the attorney that rocks. He doesn't seem to be playing a guitar. There's like, the background of his thing seems to be like a crowd at a concert, like a stock photo of that. Oh, yeah, look at that. I didn't even notice that. Yeah. I remember seeing a local commercial in San Diego for a guy who says, I'm the lawyer in blue jeans, but they didn't film him from the waist down.

I'm the lawyer. And he's like, well, I take your anyway. So I feel like I am like taking David Comey's word that he rocks. He's not like demonstrating it in any way. Is it possible that he just means he rocks back and forth because he has sort of a neuro degenerative issue? Or he finds it soothing. Right.

Yeah. Soothing. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that is. Maybe. I guess I just assume based on like, you know, his do and the billboard and, you know, Austin being kind of a rock and roll town, that that's what he was getting at.

But yeah, he could just be talking about ways to self-soothe. I mean, I would say my number one objection is that he doesn't look like he rocks. He looks supes chill. Right. Yeah, he looks like more of a, like, you know, an acoustic guitar flip. But mean he's soft rock he soft rocks at best he soft rocks yeah if you said to me he was the attorney that rocks steady oh

sure i would say yes of course but you know the thing about most people who rock often proclaim that just usually that usually goes together if it said the attorney who's dank. Yeah. The attorney that smells like a campfire. Yeah. Yes, I would believe that. I also am unusually bothered by the fact that it says the attorney that rocks

instead of the attorney who rocks. Yeah. I'm like, come on, you're an attorney, man. What's more rock and roll than not giving a Fuck about grammar Huh I don't live by your rules grandpa

Yeah shove it judge That's something I don't put up with When I was going to law school At Chapman We've got one more momentous occasion Let's hear it Hi Jordan Jesse and I'm going to guess Nick Adams. Close.

A couple days ago, I was out hiking on the local mountains, and I stayed and watched the sunset. It stayed a little bit too long until after dark, and I was trying to hike back down. And I tripped and took about a 15-foot fall off of a cliff. My injuries included breaking my wrist and elbow. I got 15 staples in my scalp, stitches in my eyebrow, a laceration on my palm where you can see the tendons moving,

and multiple abrasions all over my body. I was told that I was lucky to live. And I just thought that I'd share that with you guys. And I'm happy to be here today and being able to listen to the podcast today. Thank you. Wow. Fell off a cliff. First of all, we're glad that you lived.

We are. Because otherwise, we wouldn't have anything to fill time on our show that's true we could have talked about that billboard for another 25 minutes the one the audience can't see oh that's the one but second and i think perhaps more importantly this is just what happens if you stay to watch the sunset. Yeah. It's a natural progression of events. Everyone knows if you stick around for the sunset, you're going to fall off a cliff.

It's just pure karma. I mean, could it lead to a romantic moment with a loved one? Maybe. Is that worth it? Fuck no. No. And I mean, 15 feet, that's not far enough to open your parachute even if you got one.

Yeah. And I should hope that all of our listeners, hey, guys, I hope you're wearing a mask and I hope you've always got your chute on at all times. I know this is gonna sound like virtue signaling, okay? But you gotta wear your chute now more than ever. Can say something jordan a lot of

people say to me jesse i don't need to wear my shoot i'm not going up in a plane and i'm not going up into any bridges i'm not going up on top of any tall buildings and i say oh yeah what about this what if it rains then what are you going to do in fucking gym class yeah sorry karen but i'm gonna wear my shoot at all times yeah and you can yell at me and trader joe's all you want to karen i respect the greeter at walmart i will wear my shoot wear your shoot hashtag it wear your chute. Hashtag it. Wear your chute, guys. Let's start a movement. Wear the chute.

I don't want to one-up you, but my kids are too small for a regular chute, but I already have them practicing with a ripcord. Hole in the ground. Start them early. Start them early. No, it's fine. I don't feel one-upped, Rob,'t feel... Landslide. 15-foot cliff.

I don't feel one left, Rob, because my kid's paraglide. Oh, wow. Which is a type of parachute flying. I thought it was like paralegal, where it's like you're not good enough to glide, but you sort of help the gliders by researching for them. I put my cat in one of those wing suits that they have in the Point Break remake. Oh, hell yes. That's awesome.

Meow. She loves it so hashtag wear your shoot hashtag hashtag dried blue we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go hey jakey hey helen hey you've got another true-false quiz for me? Yep. Our trivia podcast, Go Fact Yourself, used to be in front of a live audience. True. Turns out that's not so safe anymore. Correct.

Next, unfortunately, this means we can no longer record the show. False. The show still comes out every first and third Friday of the month. Correct. Finally, we still have great celebrity guests answering trivia about things they love on every episode of Go Fact Yourself. Definitely true. And for bonus points, name some of them. Recently, we've had Ophira Eisenberg plus tons of surprise experts like Yardley Smith and Suzanne Somers.

Perfect score. You can hear Go Fact Yourself every first and third Friday of the month with all the great guests and trivia that we've always had. And if you don't listen, well, then you can go fact yourself. That's the name of our podcast. Correct! La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

Listen, I'm a hotshot Hollywood movie producer. You have until I finish my glass of kombucha to pitch me your idea. Go. Alright, it's called Who Shot Ya? A movie podcast that isn't just a bunch of straight white dudes. I'm Ify Whiteyway, the new host of the show and a certified BBN. BBN? Buff Black Nerd.

I'm Alonzo Doraldi, an elderly gay and legit film critic who wrote a book on Christmas movies. I'm Drea Clark, a loud white lady from Minnesota. Each week, we talk about a new movie in theaters and all the important issues going on in the film industry. It's like Guess Who's Coming to Dinner meets Cruising. And if it helps seal the deal, I can flex my muscles while we record each episode. I'm sorry, this is a podcast. I'm a movie producer.

How did you get in here? Iffy, quick, start flexing. Bicep, lats, chest. Who shot you? Dropping every Friday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Rob Kuttner, never shooter. Rob, I alluded to the fact that you have a new television program at the top of the show, then failed to ask you anything about your new television program. What is the nature of this new television program? Well, honestly, it's been so long now it's off the air. Thank you, but no thank you.

Yeah. Just trying to fill time here, Rob. We're just doing our best. I get it. I get it. As am I. Just trying to fill time here, Rob. We're just doing our best.

I get it. I get it. As am I. It is a new show called Gander, and it is another entrant into the topical fact-based comedy genre a la CMB or John Oliver, Hassan Minhaj, but it takes on topics that are sort of more evergreen, things like corporate exploitation and sort of things that are not wedded to the news.

And it has a bunch of sketch comedians and a lot of kind of more outrageous R-rated humor in it. So it's sort of a different part of the ecosystem, as it were. That's pretty cool. Where is it televisioning? It is on something called Tubi. T-U-B-I. Tubi! Ah, Tubi, listen. I've never heard that reaction. Here's why I love Tubi.

They got a bunch of old mystery science theaters on there and the 1970s Tales from the Crypt movie. It is a weirdly large library of all kinds of stuff. You're like, oh yeah, I actually like that, but I didn't know anyone had that.

Oh yeah, I'm a huge Tubi head over over here it's one of these things it's it's like a channel on your roku and it's also a website and it's also a dessert shopping i'm not mistaken it's non-dairy too are any of these uh sketch comedy people that we might know and love already there there are uh there's a bunch of people instead of one host we have sort of a rotating cast uh sort of per episode so there's uh you got lewis black got oscar nunez you got rachel dratch uh jay moore miles jabrani um a real host of people um two two of the kids in the hall whoa yeah but we have to tune in to find out which ones yes i should say two of the living kids in the hall. Whoa! Yeah. Well, we have to tune in to find out which ones, huh? Yes. I should say two of the living kids in the hall.

You killed one of the kids in the hall? Oh, there's been 19. They're like Dread Pirate Robertses. It's like The Temptations. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. We're the posers who only know the kids in the hall that were on TV, but there was a

huge touring group of kids in the hall there was the carter children right there was uh the alley boys exactly well i'm excited about this i'm i'm already googling tubi yeah it's a great place to watch the tales from the crypt movie from the 70s and rob's new show and mystery science theater 3000s yeah they got a bunch of them. It's a free place. And they just have like, you know, like the YouTube, they have the annoying ads that pop in and stuff like that. But it's not a subscription kind of thing. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. Tubi. Yeah. Tubi. Ooh, Tubi, you're looking good. Now we spend the rest of the podcast with you guys watching an old tale from the grip uh well robert is always a joy to have you on the program i'm gonna go ahead and uh befriend you on facebook so i can get these family updates yeah get that dad juice man yum yum tap that maple and get that sticky dad juice.

Our producer is Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can find us on Twitter with the hashtags JJGo and hashtag DTLAtunnels. We're both on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne. Rob, you're at Rob Kuttner, right? RobKuttner.com and on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne. Rob, you're at Rob Kuttner, right? RobKuttner.com and on Twitter at ApocalypseHow. ApocalypseHow.

That's fun. It's a pun. We're on Facebook where you can like Jordan Jesse Go. Just whatever. I don't know. Yeah. Do whatever. As long as you're wearing your shoot.

I'm sorry. Please. What if it rains? Can't play tetherball if it's raining. It's true. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture.

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