Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 654: The Ole Pull and Pull with Nick Wiger

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

Nick Wiger (How Did This Get Played podcast, Doughboys podcast) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the many different types of sexy Waluigi on the internet, Zelda Breath of the Wild blood moons, and the Pokemon ruse that Jesse is running on his son. Plus, Nick wrote on Earth to Ned with Jordan! Check it out on Disney+!And check out the preview for the new Bubble graphic novel!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, I have seen the sexy Waluigi. No need to keep sending me the sexy Waluigi on social media. I've seen it if you're out there and you sent it to me i thank you but i saw it from 15 other people i've seen it i've seen it thank you needed to address that up top i have a quick follow-up question for you jordan i don't

think one's necessary but if you want to waste everyone's time. I was on social media the other day, and I saw a sexy Waluigi. Do you want me to share that with you? Have you seen that? I have seen it. I've seen it many times. Now, Jesse, we can get into this. You know me. You know I love the fans, right?

Oh, well, sure. Of course you do. I have three great loves in my life. I, you know me, you know I love the fans, right? Oh, well, sure. Of course you do. Yeah. I have three great loves in my life. Number one, my country. Uh-huh. Number two, local honey. Sure.

Well, it's good for allergies, they say. Sure, yeah. Well, I'm tired of these out-of-town bees coming in and trying to peddle their honey. I think we should build a wall between la and san bernardino where all those interloping bees are coming in okay i don't need to get up on a rant about local honey here i just don't want to jordan i don't want to learn any new dances that's all i'm saying local bee dances for me only right well yeah i mean how are you going to attract a mate otherwise

i think jordan yes i think they use it to communicate where the flowers are oh i assumed it was for mating i've maybe i've been doing my dance wrong is that why no bees will fuck me you got a few good bee fuckfucks out of it. Yeah. Not enough, though. Yeah, and you don't know where those fucking flowers are. And I know, yeah. I'm horny and I have no flowers. Number three, the fans. I love the fans. Sure.

But you're aware that we have some beloved running references on this show. Yeah. B-fucking. B-f fucking be fucking of course everyone loves that everyone got their b-fuck t-shirt last year on teespring you know booster gold of course yeah and uh and waluigi we like to mention on the show so whenever there's any waluigi news you know that comes down the pipe um people like to send on the show so whenever there's any waluigi news you know that comes down the pipe um people like to send it on social media and i guess a few weeks ago there was a a performer on tiktok have you do you use tiktok much jesse no i don't myself use tiktok but from

time to time someone will share a TikTok video on Twitter. Right. I'll see it and think, I enjoy that, but I'm old. Sure. So I also don't use TikTok, and I kind of see TikToks in the same way that you do. I'm there on my preferred social network for olds. Google Wave. Google, yes.

And so, okay, so a few weeks ago, the thing that blew up TikTok was a sexy woman in a sexy Waluigi outfit. And she was doing a dance to the hit song WAP. You familiar with WAP? It's a hit song. Kids love this. Like dancing to it on TikTok. Yeah. So this woman was dancing to a version of WAP while dressed as Waluigi. And every time the singer in the song said WAP, they replaced it with WAH.

Sure. That's what Waluigi says. It's his famous catchphrase. That's why he's Waluigi and not regular standard Luigi. I loved seeing this once. But then... Just, Jordan, it's like how regular Luigi is always going, Luigi! Right. They love to say the first part of their name. Yeah. So I just,

I got a flood of these, and whereas I liked it, I just want to be sure that I don't grow to like it too much. Do you know what I mean? You following me here? You're talking about having problems with your pants tightening. Sure. I don't want this to imprint on me in any way. I'm very susceptible right now. I think we all are. Yeah.

Our minds are weak and jello-like. Yeah. I read an article about this in The Economist, how quarantine from the pandemic has led a lot of people to develop weird new fetishes. Sure. And listen, I... From just whatever's around. Yeah. And if that's what's rocketing at me 24-7 on the socials, it's got to get into the brain

and it's got to cause problems. So I just wanted to say up top, thank you. I've seen it. I like it. But I've seen it enough. Thank you. Probably people should send you, this is just an idea I have. Sure. Probably people should send you sexy pictures of regular Luigi. Because the problem here is Waluigi is evil Luigi. He's too evil.

He's too evil. Right, exactly. And you don't want to go to the dark side. No. I don't mean to speak for you, but I presume And you don't want to go to the dark side. No. I don't mean, I don't mean to speak for you, but I presume that you don't want to go to the dark side. No, I'm good all the way, baby. I'm light side. Oh, you're all the way good. I see. I thought you meant you were all the way, all the way good from here to the dark side. Like you didn't need a ride. Listen, I don't, I don't need to, I don't need to, I don't need to meddle in the dark side.

I hear they can bring people back to life, but I think that's unnatural. Yeah. I heard it in the tale of Darth Plagueis the Wise. And I believe it, too. Whatever that poll was, and I don't recognize it. I'm a medium starwise guy you know rest assured it was very good um so it was a great it was a delicious poll i assure you it was delicious it's it's the one thing in that entire intro that led our our guest to break up so uh why don't we bring him on to the program and he can explain to me

why that was funny let's do um he is of course one of the hosts of the smash hit gaming podcast how did this get played where they play bad video games uh often with Jordan. He is one of the hosts of the smash hit chain restaurant turned grocery store podcast, The Doughboys, where they eat at grocery stores and chain restaurants or eat frozen foods from the frozen food aisle during quarantine. His name is Nicholas Weiger. Hi. Welcome to is Nicholas Weiger. Hi. Welcome to the show, Nick. Hi, Nick.

Are you rolling? Quick question. Are you rolling, Nick? Weiger's rolling. This is Weiger rolling. Okay, thank you. Weiger is rolling on his audio here. You sound good on my end.

Okay. Oh, great. Wonderful. And thank you for getting Ed McMahon to tell us that. Weiger is rolling. Very good. Weiger, who's on Saturday Night Live tonight?

Musical guest, Dave Matthews Band. Say Ellen Cleghorn and we can move on. And your host host Chris Gaines Wow Gaines is hosting in character But Garth Brooks is not the musical guest Yeah Wild episode Chris Gaines is hosting in character

And Sting is the musical guest Gaines not even doing music Just doing sketches Well he brings a certain rock and roll cool To the comedy proceedings Can I ask you guys something This is something I've actually been thinking about sketches. Well, he brings a certain rock and roll cool to the comedy proceedings. It's true. Can I ask you guys something? This is something I've actually been thinking about. Why do we remember that? Why do we remember Chris Gaines? I don't listen to hardly any country

music. I didn't then. But for some reason, the fact that for a while in the 90s, Garth Brooks had a rock and roll alter ego that played Saturday Night Live is just something I know. And I don't love knowing it. I'm not like excited that it's in my brain, but I know that and I know it takes Sting a long time to come. Why do I know those two things? I mean, Garth Brooks was like the best-selling artist of the decade. Yeah. And I cannot name for you right now a Garth Brooks song.

And I like country music. I'm a fan of country music, but I cannot name one Garth Brooks song. And it's not because he doesn't have songs or doesn't have hit songs, doesn't have good songs. He's just the most indistinct successful artist of all time. And I think that what's remarkable about Chris Gaines is that we all knew that's what he was at the time. And then he said, but I've got a little alternative rock side character I'd like to introduce you to. And even then we knew that was an amazing situation. Even as 13-year-olds, we understood. Well, and I think Jesse speaks to just how ubiquitous

Garth Brooks was. He was as famous... I mean, is there a musician as famous in absolute terms today as Garth Brooks was in the 90s? I'm not sure. He was he was not even close. I mean, like not even Kanye West. Yeah. And so I think we all knew who Garth Brooks was. And then when he did something weird for anyone to do, I think it just it was just hard. It was it was impossible to miss it doing SNL in. I mean, like he because we hosted as Garth Brooks and then performed as Chris Gaines in character, right? That's what he did? I'm trying to remember it. I think so. And I think I know that I could say that with some certainty. Again, why? Why?

Why can I say, yes, you're right. Why? I don't know. I don't remember any of the sketches from the episode. Yeah. Did he do, did Matt Foley, the motivational speaker, set him straight? I couldn't tell you. I believe he had a sketch that was fairly well regarded where he sold his soul to the

devil played by Will Ferrell for a guitar skill. That's the only thing I remember. I kind of remember that. It sounds funny. Yeah, it was funny. It sounds funny. It was really funny. It was good.

Yeah, I bet it was good. Something that amazed me recently about garth brooks is uh i don't know if you guys know this but in ireland country music is very very popular including both irish and american country music like that's one of the most popular forms of pop music and uh i didn't i didn't know that despite having a lot of Irish relatives until I visited Ireland maybe six years ago to visit those relatives and learned that Garth Brooks was doing a stadium show in Dublin, and this was in like a, you know, 60, 60,000 80 like a giant soccer stadium uh and he had five consecutive sold out stadium shows in Dublin in one place unbelievable that's that's like I

don't know how many million people live in Dublin two 1.? That's 400,000 people or whatever? Like one in three Dubliners had tickets to see Garth Brooks? I had no idea he had any sort of international fame. I assumed he was strictly an American phenomenon. I thought he was like the NFL. I had no idea that the world loved him as well. And this was like five years ago, too. This isn't in 1996 or whenever Garth Brooks was famous. 1993. Wow. This was just recently. Weirdly, Chris Gaines, famous in Wales. They do not care for Garth Brooks. Yeah.

That's why all his song titles had so many consonants. I suspect that this podcast, just based on social media chatter, I think we're very famous in Canada, but I've just never been able to go to prove it. Weiger, do you get a sense of having a lot of international listeners for any of your various podcasts? Well, we get a lot of, we get a fair amount of military listeners, I think, for to-do boys. And I think that's because, you know, the talk of chain restaurants reminds people who are stationed abroad of home. But we also, but as far as for as international, you know, citizens of other countries, you know, Canada is predictable. But Australia, we have a pretty,I mean, like, it's throughout the English-speaking world, but I think Australia in particular—and when you're talking about country music being popular in other countries, I assumed it would be, like, Australia, because I always think of Australia as, like, the nation most directly analogous to the U.S. Right. But Australia, I think because there are so many chain restaurants there, I think that that we have a pretty significant following for doughboys in that nation.

Both the United States and Australia are known for our hunks. Yeah, definitely. Definitely some. I mean, there's the Thunder from Down Under. Right. Right. The Vegas Review. They come from Australia. That's right. And here we've got our Magic Mike's and our Chippendales, you know, hunks of all varietals. Man, Magic Mike teaming up with the Thunder from Down Under. That's my Infinity War. Gotta collect all those stones, huh? I did not see that.

You gotta collect the stones and put them in the magic buns. Yeah. The hot buns yeah it seems like it's I do it could Australia does seem to have an interesting like chain restaurant thing going on like you know how there's the popular kind of online article like you won't believe you know in taipei they have a purple whopper like you know just like the the the wild fast food stuff not from america i can't imagine nick that anyone has ever sent you those articles as if it was a sexy waluigi look i've seen the purple whopper from taipei thank you for sending it to me uh but at this point i've seen it

so don't need to send it to me anymore yeah it's a lot of those i a lot of those lists i fear are sometimes just to say like like like oh what they eat in korea is weird which i don't care for uh but i do feel like australia does end up in some of those listicles? I have said this a number of times on Doughboys and people, to the point where people have been like, to me, like, we get it, we know. But Hungry Jack's is what they call Burger King in Australia. And I thought that this was because of some sort of respect for the crown, that you could not have a— Oh. Because it's a protector. could yeah you could not call it australian remains part of the commonwealth 100 yeah that you could not not a protector part of the commonwealth and the the king the king of the commonwealth is king of if everything burgers included so yes just that there is a separate king for a particular food is

i mean that's i mean it's basically blasphemy yeah it's it's true it'd be true too disrespectful apparently that's not the case it's just as simple as some like random asshole owns the rights to burger king uh in australia so they had to rename it hungry jacks so they don't have a jack in the box uh but they do have burger king but burger king has jack in in the name. It's very confusing. Right. Jack in the Box is called Tasty McDonald's. It's just way too confusing. Do not try and get a burger in Australia. They love fried chicken there, I guess.

I guess that's very popular in Australia. But it does seem like, you know, in those kind of, like, look at what they eat in other countries lists, you will see like like Australian Pizza Hut has gone off the rails and put hot dogs in the crust. Right. Or, you know, jalapeno poppers with a single spider in the middle. bad because i literally the last time i was on doughboys uh took nick and mitch to a restaurant that sadly has closed not far from our office which was called mr pizza factory which was in fact literally a korean pizza chain yes mr pizza pizza for women uh that's how it's marketed in South Korea. What? Mr. Pizza, pizza for women.

Okay. And, you know, it's like everyone, you know how women, like they'll put it on Tinder or something? That like, you know, they'll say something cute about pizza. Like that's what they're looking for in a man. It's that personified. Gotcha. So it's, but no, I have no idea, but they call it Mr., I guess it's a thing that's in their marketing sometimes, it's Mr.

Pizza, Pizza for Women, and it is a strange experience for an American diner with an American palate, because it'll be things like, you know, sweet shrimp and corn on a pizza, and you're just not used to those flavors, you might as we did in some instances recoil because it's just a very different combination than you're used to i have to say my memory of doing this and this was uh you know 12 or 15 years ago now uh that i was last on Nick's podcast. Yes. But my memory of doing this was that all of the flavor combinations of weird pizzas that we ordered worked surprisingly well.

The only problem was they all sucked. Like the quality of the pizza was garbage. Right. But like every weird set of, like we ordered like five different all like every weird set of like we ordered like five different pizzas and every weird list of things that you wouldn't think belong together on a pizza my thought was hmm that would be good if it was good yeah i mean even they're even they're more conventional execution i mean i my memory of is a little foggy at this point but i think that's

that's that's pretty much correct even the more conventional ones where you would expect like, okay, this sausage and pepperoni is going to be fine was still just like poor quality pizza. Yeah. Maybe it's better in Korea. I don't know. Mr. Pizza Factory. Nick, you also have an interest in video games. Yes. Nick, you also have an interest in video games and an interest in the kind of sexual fan art that arises around video games. Yes.

Were you bombarded with the sexy Waluigi as well? So I didn't get the sexy Waluigi. What I did get was the Sonic the Hedgehog blue curry. I got that. Go on. Okay, so there is a Sonic the Hedgehog Blue Curry. I got that. Go on. Okay, so there is a Sonic the Hedgehog themed curry. Guys, I thought, I didn't see this sexy Waluigi. I should image search this and find out what it is so that I know.

And God, look at the crank on all these waluigis that came up yeah you might be looking at a different one so many i'm not saying that they're not sexy i'm just saying that they're different than the one i saw oh my god this one in this one mario is nude he's waluigi's got a lady in a dog collar and then he's holding her face in mario's butt while mario farts so that one also mario's dick is looks hard but is also pointed down because he's sort of bent forward to fart right right yeah that angle points down almost backwards this is not the one i saw this you can't see waluigi's crank in this one so i can't speak to that right when you get one that specific i assume it was a commission a patron a patron of the arts yes the medici clan right i did have a friend who was a

this was when i worked in video games an excellent just an amazingly talented artist and he would um he would make a lot of money going to uh conventions particularly for he to furry conventions and then he would just draw commissions. And the thing he would say is that it would always be to a degree of specificity that he never could have imagined. So it was something like, can you draw me as a deer, and I'm very sick, and I'm hooked up to life support, And I'm hooked up to life support, and next to me, there is my wife as her fursona, as a bunny, and she is happy. She is relieved.

And he gets so many requests like that. I think the reason for that is that there's a very short list of pictures that are not currently available on the internet. Right. result for my image search right here which is under the title fizz gay hypno nintendo pokemon sex super mario brothers waluigi 206925 and this is a picture of a yellow i presume this is a pokemon i don't recognize him he looks a little like a yellow smurf but he's got a gray beard and then he's got kind of a dr seuss lorax type collar oh i don't know pokemon well enough yeah i'll have to i'll have to show this to my six-year-old and ask him anyway waluigi has been over getting fucked in the ass by this uh pokemon but waluigi is also holding two bags of money like the kind that a burglar has that has dollar signs on it.

We're inferring that some transaction took place. That maybe Waluigi got these bags of money from the... Where'd the Pokemon get the money? I think it's just how they celebrate a heist. I think it's their... They're a crew. They're a crew, like Ocean's Eleven. They finally heisted the two money bags, and they're going to celebrate with anal sex.

How do you celebrate a heist? I've never pulled one off, so who knows? Yeah, well, pull a heist. Get back to me. It might be the occasion for that. Why not? I got to tell you, Nick, every time I pull one off,

I pull one off, if you know what I mean. Sure. The old pull and pull. Now you're talking my language, the language of heists. So you asked about the Sonic, oh yes, yes, the Sonic Blue Curry, you were saying. Yes, it really is exactly what I described. I mean, it's a Sonic the Hedgehog branded curry like a like, you know, like a mac and cheese would be branded for the TV show Dinosaurs or something like that. It's just a just a marketing tie in. And then it's a it's a plate of it with some white rice. And then next to it is is the curry itself, which is as deep, like it's a very deep blue. It's as blue as the open ocean. And it looks very unappetizing.

But it's meant to, I guess, have the same hue as Sonic himself. And then the curry is the meat, hedgehog meat? It's a little gamey, but not unpalatable sure yeah yeah no it just looks like some sort of generic chunks i don't know what the i i mean i i assumed it was just the curry was just a powder that you made into a sauce and then you use your protein of choice but maybe it has some sort of maybe it has some dried chicken in there or something that's that's possible yeah or rings gold rings sonic loves to collect those he does if there's one thing i know about sonic as far as food goes he's a chili dog man that's

what what's the sonic concern oh that's right there is that weird and i did you see did you see the sonic movie nick no i haven't yet to my it's my great shame i was gonna ask if i was gonna ask if he eats chili dogs in it i should i gotta see it i don't remember him i have seen sonic the movie not to brag uh i don't remember him eating a chili dog in it i remember it being better than it needed to be i've heard that assessment maybe yeah maybe if he uh maybe if he would have eaten the chili dog it would have rocketed up into the strata of pretty good. Yeah.

Let me ask you this, Jesse, and I know we're in spoiler country now, but what happens after that big heist scene at the end? Yeah, they rob Harrah's, right? Well, they pull off the heist, Nick. They pull it off, so once they pull off the heist, you know. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's when the pokemons come in right get in here fellas we did it and then they all watch the fountain at the pelagio i got a question about pokemons sure yeah i mean i again i i people assume i know a lot more about pokemon than I actually do, but I'll do my best.

So my six-year-old is obsessed with Pokemons. And, you know, we used to try and convince him not to be into Pokemons because all the Pokemons do is fight. And also all the Pokemon shows are genuinely horrible. Like, they're just excruciatingly bad. The idea of Pokemon is pretty great. The idea that there's all these different guys and they're all sort of different animals and plants and stuff like that part.

And they all have different qualities. That part, five stars out of five. The actual television show is horrible. And the only plot mechanic is them fighting each other, which is bad for six-year-olds i'm not sure if there's a new there's a new i'm sorry i'll let you finish but i'm not sure if there's a new pokemon anime or not but the original i remember being pretty watchable i was a little too old for it did not mean i didn't watch it but i i remember that being pretty pretty decent

but but go on please memories can deceive us nick memories can deceive us, Nick. Memories can deceive us. But, you know, these are dark times. And just whatever gives my child happiness right now, I support it. So we've gone full on, full bore supportive of Pokemons. And he plays Pokemon all day. And again, we got him a Pokemon book that lists all the Pokemons and we read it together. At what point do you think he'll figure out that the reason I always say my favorite Pokemon is Squirtle

is because that's the only Pokemon whose name I ever remember? I think he'll never figure it out unless unless he hears this i think that's like yeah i know squirtle is kind of a is a starter pokemon but i think it's if you said pikachu then yeah i think he might catch on but i think saying squirtle is just enough where you'll you'll see me like you're in the know he's like okay okay dad you talk the talk you're cool you're clearly a pokemon trainer like me he got really he got really mad at me the other day because uh we were gonna have a pokemon battle and he had picked an electrical type pokemon and he said what pokemon do you want to be and i said well of course i want to be squirtle yeah and fucking dumb dumb dad went ahead and picked a

water type pokemon who are vulnerable to electrical type pokemon you fucked up dude i wouldn't brian you want to cut that? Jesse, I would not admit that on the podcast. That is fucking wild, dude. Nick, did you ever do some time with any of those games? I guess I don't know that about you. Yeah, we're about the same age, so maybe you were a little old for it when it came out, but did you do any Pokemon?

I've dabbled in some Pokemon, but it's a pretty, it's a decent sized hole in my gaming knowledges as well. I mean, I think it just, if it, you're right, it's just an age thing. I think if I had been five to 10 years younger, it would have been right in my sweet spot. But I was ready to put away childish things by the time that Pokemon hit the Game Boy. Right. What were you picking up? Seaman.

Putting away the... Yes. Yeah. The game for grown-ups. Donkey Kong Country, I mean. You were passing from Poke Boy to Seaman. Right. No, but I do have respect for Pokemon, and I think it's got cool lore.

I think it's a great world, and the people who are super into it, I am totally— I think it seems like a really rad franchise, but a lot of my Pokemon knowledge comes from playing Super Smash Bros., where Pokemon will appear as items or assist trophies, and a few Pokemon are playable. That's where I have more fluency with Pokemon versus any actual Pokemon game, even though I have Pokemon Shield. It's sitting in my backlog. I got to play through Pokemon Shield, see what all the fuss is about. Yeah, I also know them from Smash Brothers, and that's why my squirtle, my random pull is always Incineroar. Fun to say. Great name.

Great character in Smash. Yeah. Guys, let me know if either of you guys catches a Shining Charizard. See, there you go. You know more than one. There you go. You know more than you know. You're doing it.

You're doing it. Shining Charizard. Yeah. Speaking of video game backlog, Nick, have you used quarantine to get any of that done? To some degree. The issue is that new games keep coming out, and I was just... Yeah, that's the problem.

Yeah, I was really kind of expecting there to be like, okay, well, this will stem the tide a little bit. We won't have as many new releases, but it still feels like there's been an unending barrage that I can't even keep up with the games that came out in calendar year 2020, let alone catch up on my backlog. But I'm still making an effort to do so, to try to get into these games. Hold on, Nick, one second. Brian, could you pause the show just for one second? I just need to write a quick letter to Dr. Fauci and let him know that we have identified the problem.

You're going to write him a letter? You're not going to text him? Dear Dr. Fauci. That would be faster. Dearest Dr. Fauci, games keep coming out. Please delay the release of Ghosts of Tunisia. Tsushima, which I did play, and it was delightful. Oh, excuse me.

Play Sekiro, you coward. But, yeah, I should play Sekiro. The combat in Tsushima is like, from what I hear, it's kind of a dumbed-down Sekiro. It's what they call the coward Sekiro. it's kind of a dumbed down Sekiro. It's what they call the coward Sekiro. But yeah, there's just too much to play.

I have tried to, I came to peace, actually in recent years, I came to peace with the idea that I'll just never get to play every game in the same way they don't ever get to read every book or watch every movie. It's just unachievable in one lifetime. But you're kind of, I think, you know, you're like a video game podcaster now

to where you weren't before. Do you find that people kind of come to you for takes on stuff like that? Like when something comes out, are they like, oh my gosh, Nick, we need to hear your feelings about blank? Yeah, I mean, I think that naturally happens. Whatever your subject matter, whatever you, people assume you are maybe an expert

or have a degree of fluency in whatever subject matter you're covering. And so, yeah, I don't know if it's been an uptick, honestly, because I feel like I've been, much like you, yeah, I don't know if it's been an uptick, honestly, because I feel like I've been much like you, Jordan. I feel like we are kind of known as as guys who play video games. So I don't know if maybe some more DMs, maybe some more replies, but I don't know if an appreciable uptick in people asking for my take. That's good. Yeah, I don't I don't like to have to produce a take. Yeah, people who don't play Sekiro are cowards. That's good. Yeah. I don't like to have to produce a take. Yeah.

People who don't play Sekiro are cowards. That's all I got, basically. I mean, I did some checking out inside myself, Jordan. I haven't played Sekiro

and I am definitely a coward. There you see. The pieces fit together. Just defeat the headless guardian ape and you'll be fine. I've heard a lot about this ape. Oh, yeah. He defeat the headless guardian ape and you'll be fine. I've heard a lot about this ape.

Oh yeah, he's the headless guardian ape. It's a pretty hard boss fight. It's really cool. And then you have to fight it and its mate later. It's great, but it's not for cowards. Yeah, I think I'm getting too scared hearing your description. Yeah, it's pretty scary. It's a pretty scary

business. What have you played recently for How Did This Get Played? Which is a podcast not unlike our friends at the Flophouse treat the lesser films of the world film canon to a gentle roasting.

Right. Perhaps a ribbing. You play some of the most misbegotten video games ever created on How Did This Get Played. What have you played recently? Other than Seaman. I did see that you played Seaman. Seaman is a lot of fun. It's, you know, the challenge with a game like Seaman is that you need a Sega Dreamcast and you need the microphone attachment for the Sega Dreamcast controller.

So you need a peripheral for a console that hasn't been manufactured in two decades. So, you know, some of these, it's a little bit more cumbersome to figure out how to actually play them. I mean, it's not that hard, Nick. You just go to the good guys. Or Babbage's. You could also go to Babbage's. Pick up the new Chris Gaines single. Man, there was only one Babbage's in the Bay Area, and it was the only video game store that still sold games for the Atari Lynx by the time the rich kid who gave me

an Atari Lynx used for my 13th birthday gave me the Atari Lynx. He had had it for a while, realized that you couldn't buy games for it, and then gave it to me secondhand as a gift because he felt bad for me because I didn't have video games. And Babbage's was the only place you could get Lynx games like 18 months after the release of the Lynx. I would like make schemes to come up with enough money to go there and buy California games.

I bet they were cheap at that point though, huh? Nope, still full price. Oh boy. I guess they were collector's items at that point. What I remember about the Lynx, because my friend had a Lynx, and I looked on it with envy because in the early days of portable, of handheld consoles, it was like the Game Boy was the big one, but it was black and white initially, and it was monochrome.

And then you had the Lynx and the Game Gear were both full color, which seemed awesome, except that the tech was so rudimentary that it just burned through batteries. And I remember him having it. It had like eight AA batteries in it, and they would last for like 40 minutes. Was that your experience? Yes. That's absolutely accurate. And I have to say, I only ever had clacks.

Wow. And I don't think I ever traveled with my Lynx. I think maybe it had an electrical plug. And what I remember most vividly about the Lynx is that it had stereo sound, which was thrilling at the time. Oh, yeah. It's pretty thrilling. Those blocks in clacks.

You can really hear them. You can hear them. And I don't know if you guys remember. I mean, Jesse, you certainly remember. I don't know if you guys remember the shape of the Lynx, but it was pretty sexy. It had a little curve to it. Not like that blocky Game Boy. Did someone send Jordan a Lynx during quarantine?

Shit, it's imprinted on me sexually. Fuck. I'm going to be all fucked up after all this. What's the most interesting game you've played in the last few months for How Did This Get Played? Great question. I'm mentally going through the roster you know we had jordan on and we played through the notoriously difficult battle toads uh which was a which was a lot of fun i mean to discuss the game is just punishing it's it's so absurdly difficult to the point where i can't believe any child could have ever, you know what, you'd have

to have the just obsessiveness of a child to be like, I am going to get past this extremely unfair set of obstacles in order to progress, because it is just, it is so just annoyingly hard in a way that is completely unfun. So Battletoads was a big one. I mean, what was your experience playing Battletoads, Jordan? I know we talked about it a little bit on this show.

Yeah, no, that's pretty much it. It struck me as a, like, yes, to get good at Battletoads, you would just, like, I can imagine someone who has gotten good at it is, like, a kid who played it alone in their room with the sound turned all the way up so that they couldn't hear their parents fighting in the next

room like being something that you had to turn to for some sort of comfort um yeah no it was it's weird it was one of those that i kind of like vaguely remembered from childhood and had positive feelings about, but like picking it up as an adult, I'm like, this is, this is out of control. How, how fucking cheap this is.

I imagine you guys had the advantage of playing it on like an emulator on a computer where you could save it. Yes. I feel like it did not occur to the designers of video games until like 12 years ago that they didn't get an extra quarter every time we died and had to go back to the beginning. And so it was only very recently that they let you save your game. And like I got caught in – I've been playing that legend of zelda jordan jordan gave me his zelda machine oh wow at the beginning of the quarantine playing breath of the wild yeah oh it's great it's wonderful it's so great and i play it with my kids my three-year-old gets really

excited whenever there's a blood moon understandably so three-year-old loves the blood moon all those gerblins or whatever they're called they're coming back to life does is your three-year-old loves the blood moon all those gerblins or whatever they're called they're coming back to life does is your three-year-old excited now when you go outside in la that there's an actual blood moon in the sky yeah and plus when we meet a real goblin he gets pumped yeah uh that but like there's this part in that game where you go to a desert island or a tropical island and they take away all your clothes. Oh, yes. You know?

And you have to get these balls into these holes. It's a whole thing, you know? They take away all your clothes. You get these balls into the holes. It was once you finished the big heist. Yeah, it's a heist situation. Yeah. Some kind of heist yeah this is a high situation yeah some kind of heist

but the thing about it is when you're on this island it doesn't save your game and i only have let's call it 18 minute stretches of time to play a video game and so i played the first 18 minutes of this 30-minute task, I'm going to say seven times before I had the full 30 minutes to finish it. And every time I had to start over and it occurred to me, man, when I was 12, this was all video games, but for the entire game. Like on my Sega Genesis, you just couldn't save your game usually. Like on my Sega Genesis, you just couldn't save your game usually.

Yeah. I mean, I guess it is amazing how video games have always been 50 or 60 bucks. Yeah. Right. And I guess just before, like the way you made someone spend 50 or 60 bucks is you had to like, you know, get a month of gameplay out of this one game. So you just made it appallingly hard. Whereas now you just kind of jam it with, you know, 200 different side quests. Right, and part of that is also Jesse's point earlier about, you know, the whole two minutes per credit, which was, I think, the arcade philosophy of design, and, you know, a lot of of these a lot of the initial console games were

either ports of arcade games or they were the same developers who'd worked in the on arcade games and so they just carried that philosophy over to console design uh but but yeah i i think there's i think that that also is the thing jordan is just like the artificial extension of of gameplay because you just didn't have the resources to actually craft enough, create enough content where if someone played it through straight, it would take 30 to 50 hours, as you can nowadays with these, you know, gigantic 200 person teams and a bunch of subcontracted, you know, people working in a bunch of different studios and a bunch of different nations. I mean, like the, just the budgets for game for AAA game development

have just gotten so enormous that they can support those sorts of things. But just to talk about that specific island, Jesse, I thought you were going here with this. I was on that island doing that same nude quest

which is very challenging. It's like intentionally one uh you know like a a one of the more challenging things you have to do in the game um that's not like the master quest of the dlc and uh a blood moon hit so i'm already in this area they took everything away from me i got no armor i got no weapons i gotta start with nothing and i can't you know i gotta get all through this whole area in one go and then the blood moon hits and i'm just like what am i supposed to do here i'm just this is this is hell you're fucked so tough when that blood moon hits i think yeah at the end of the day i what i want to know is there's two major parties

in the united states, Democrats and Republicans. Yes. But they both have the same position on blood moons, which is no position at all. Yeah. Who is going to stand up to these gerblins? Kamala Harris, your silence, R.E., the blood moon is deafening. We could use a cop if the cop was going to arrest blood moons. Thank you. Yeah, that's the, that's, yeah.. Yeah, we need leadership now more than ever.

I actually didn't do that side quest. I didn't do Nude Island. I only learned that Nude Island quest existed after I had finished the game, and I am not really one to go back after I've completed the story. So I only know of Nude Island. I have not done Nude Island myself. I tend to finish all of the side quests, but only because I get overwhelmed

at the prospect of picking a new game to buy. Got it. I'm like, I already played this game a long time. I don't want to have to learn new buttons. I guess I'll just collect six purple flowers now. Now that I've beaten the Mega Dragon, I'll just go around collecting six purple flowers so I don't have to learn what jump is in a new game. Often the same button. Often the same button. Rich, the jump button?

Yeah, jump. He's often mapped the same button. I guess I should have thought of usually trying the jump button in a new game. You often map the same button. I guess I should have thought of usually trying the jump button in the new game. Sometimes they'll mix it up on you. They'll put crouch on the shoulder button or something, but usually a lot of the stuff carries over. But yes, if you're going to do all the side quests,

if you're going to try to 100% something, you do a lot worse than Breath of the Wild because that game is a spectacular design, and it is so fun fun and then also there's just so much content i mean you can play that game for hundreds of hours nick are you a do you have the hundred percent gene do you like to hundred percent games no i it's just too time consuming and i think i always just go i go back to the backlog of just like I unless I love a game unless I really really love it I am going I would rather play a new game than do every find every single bit of

content in this game um so yeah I'm I'm rarely for me how about yourself yeah no I I I don't do it I like to finish the story you know I like to yeah I to. I feel like I am powering myself up until I can beat the last guy and finish the story. And then kind of after that, like even if I'm not following the story, like even if I am skipping the cut scenes, like I don't know, it always just kind of feels done to me once that last boss is done. What kind of side quests do you guys like? Because, you know, like the collect the six purple flowers, that to me is like the, all right, you know, I'm not really into the collect-a-thons or the fetch quests, but if there's like some level of, you know, storytelling that emerges, like I'm 100% hooked by that. But do you guys have a particular favorite type of subquest

or specific subquest that stands out to you love to collect an audio log oh love an audio log if i could find an audio log that tells me what happened to the the crew of the last ship i will collect every audio log i love listening to them while i'm running around audio more more if there's an all audio log. I love listening to them while I'm running around. More, more. If there's an all audio log game out there, let me know. Hit me up on Twitter. Yeah, audio logs are a delight. I'm usually just looking for a new dragon. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, did I leave any dragons unslain? Well, you seem like you really hate dragons. Well, I just got a lot of potions left over, you know? I had been hoarding potions thinking that when I killed that super dragon, I would need

all the potions. But what ended up happening is I still had potions left over, plus you know, I have metals in a metallurgy table and I got plenty of lavender, so I can make new potions. I find I gotta find another dragon that i left left on the you know on the road to the mega dragon yeah and i usually take

care of him pretty easy you know yeah but at least it's something you know it's it's like uh it's like methadone if there's an an instinct i've been trying to counteract in my gameplay in recent months, it's like not hoarding. It's not hoarding items. If I have consumables, I try to use them. I was playing the Final Fantasy VII Remake. I was like, I'm tossing this grenade. I don't give a shit. I'm not going to save it for a mini boss.

I'm just going to use it on this random enemy, because I have it. Because otherwise, I'm going to get to the end of the game, and I'm going to have gonna use because i have it and because otherwise i'm gonna get to the end of the game and i'm gonna have 14 of these things in my inventory and what did i do that for you i on the on the on the topic of hoarding resources yeah a little reluctant to admit this because um i know you guys are gonna roast me i just know it um but you know i know it's uh you know it's what we always roast the ones we love so I'm okay I'm okay opening myself up to a roasting God I just feel

so fucking stupid saying this the other day I beat I'm going back and doing all the FromSoftware games that I haven't beat so I beat Dark Souls 2 and I had 30 radiant life gems can you oh boy can you fuck who am I who is what am I doing 30 radiant life gems. Oh, boy. Can you fuck?

Who am I? What am I doing? It's the classic blunder. Yeah. I mean, I didn't even have that problem. I had all matte life gems. Life gems with a matte finish. Right.

A little more elegant. It's a personal preference thing, but I don't know why you want to do that with a matte finish. Right. Sport. A little more elegant. It's a personal preference thing, but I don't know why you want to do that with your Life Gems. Like, I just, like, let them shine, you know? Sure, yeah. No, it's a cool thing. A lot of rappers have matte Life Gems now. Each his own, I guess. Not my aesthetic.

Yeah, well, sorry, Mr. Twinkle Twinkle 2002. It's a really beautiful sentiment, though, Nick. Just let your life gem shine. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, I found. Jesse, you dropped something. Is it an announcement? I found a little announcement on the floor. I'm sorry. I knew this was going to go to Baby Voice.

I shouldn't have started. I knew it would lead to Baby Voice. I'm hungry for announcements. Oh, boy. Never thought I would hate a baby so much. What kind of man am I that hates a baby? Yeah, announcements.

So we have been kind of teasing with this for a while. But yeah, our sci-fi comedy podcast bubble that we did in 2018 is going to be a graphic novel coming out next year, July 13th of next year. The bubble graphic novel will be available in comic book stores and bookstores and wherever one would get a book online, you could probably get it there. And oh man, was this just the thrill of a lifetime to do. Yeah. And it came out. It's so cool.

It is so cool. You got really cool people working on it. Our buddy Sarah Morgan wrote it with you. The art is amazing. It is really neat. Yeah, totally. Sarah and I, Sarah, who worked on the Bubble podcast scripts with me, she and I did the script together, and the amazing comics artist Tony Cliff did the art.

He does the Delilah Dirk series that if you have not checked out, you really should. It's fantastic. It's good for older kids as well as adult comic fans. It's good for older kids as well as adult comic fans. And he's also a really great writer himself and a really funny guy and contributed a lot of great stuff in terms of jokes and by Natalie Reese, who does the Dungeon Critters series, which I like a lot. So, yeah, definitely a really cool group of people came together to do this. It's looking great. And, yeah, I'm just, you know, I've been reading comics my whole life.

And, you know, you probably know that if you listen to this podcast, because I think saying Booster Gold is a joke. So... And Jordan, I've been meaning to bring that up. If you want to make a joke, there are like actual rules for what actually constitutes a joke. Okay. So just saying Booster Gold isn't enough. You have to say Firestorm the Nuclear Man. Right. You do. It's a set up punchline thing. I get it. Rule of three. You'll want to say Vandal Savage later. Right. Tragedy plus time equals Firestorm the Nuclear Man. So yeah, this is totally one of the most fun things I've ever gotten to do. It's really turning out cool. We'll be bugging you guys about this a lot between now and July 13th of next year.

Pre-order stuff should be up soon. It's kind of a tiered process. So we'll let you know when you can pre-order from all the various pre-ordering places. Yeah, we're stoked. I'm thrilled we've gotten to announce it. Yeah, the website Newsarama, the great comics news site Newsarama, did a cool preview. You can see the cover.

You can see a couple of sample pages from it, and really check out how cool this art is, because it's really, really beautiful. Yeah, I think Brian's going to link to the announcement in the episode description, but it's also on our Facebook page and all of our personal social medias, so it should be pretty easy to find.

Definitely check it out, and yeah, definitely stay tuned for more Bubble Comics news. Yeah, and if you haven't already heard the podcast, it's available. It's there for you. Listen to it. It's great. What a great thing to do while you're taking your little fucking walk. Yeah, take a dumb little walk, go on a comedy adventure, and yeah, then start getting excited for the book. I actually, Jordan, I just got a letter in the mail from Dr. Fauci. Oh, wow. A personal letter or like a form letter or uh no it was a personal letter handwritten stationary the whole nine yards i think he uses a fountain pen maybe even a quill a dipped quill classy guy you can tell yeah and he says uh dear jesse go on

a little fucking walk and listen to bubble wow so he doesn't know you produced it does he well i think it's just one of those things that no matter who you, like no one is too big or fancy or too much of a Hollywood insider to be responsible for taking some time during the pandemic to go on a little fucking walk and listen to Bubble. He's trying to make a point here that even Hollywood insiders like myself and Dr. Fauci need to do our part to fight coronavirus

by going on a little fucking walk and listening to Bubble. There you go. Do it. And hey, if for some reason you unsubscribed from the feed after you listened to it, give it a subscribe. No promises, but we're going to try and drop some cool Bubble audio content into that feed. And that applies to Hollywood insiders as well, Merv Griffin. Yeah.

If you're out there, Mike Ovitz, subscribe. This applies to you too, the dog from the beginning of Family Ties. Right. From that little, I guess that's the end. MGM Lion, as long as we're doing animals yeah sure fox from fox right fox and socks from dr seuss sure all all seuss characters one fish two fish need i go on yeah whether you're a red fish or a blue fish the one thing that brings our nation together is going on a little fucking walk, listening to Bubble, subscribing to the podcast.

Subscribing to the podcast. And pre-ordering the book when it becomes available for pre-order. Pre-ordering the book when it becomes available. Yeah, it's actually, it's not exactly just the podcast straight. We definitely rewrote it for comics. And yeah, it's some of the same story points, but also a lot of new stuff. Yeah, a lot of cool new stuff. New ending, a lot

of new... a lot of new cool stuff there. I think that's a spoiler free tease. So yeah, even if you listen to the podcast, definitely check out the book when it becomes available. We've also got something up on the Jumbotron this week. A message for Dale from Gretchen. Happy 31st birthday, Dale. I love our little family and

I'm so grateful to have you and Moana as my partner. Love your wife and son and chihuahuas. You're the best. Hey, 31, that's a fun age. Yeah, it is. It's a very fun age. That's a fun age. Yeah, it is. It's a very fun age. I'm going to go ahead and presume that Dale and Gretchen are in a throuple with Disney Princess Moana, and that's what Gretchen meant by that. Right. And let's just assume that the character Moana is of a legal age.

I don't know that. I think so. I mean, they don't say explicitly or specifically, but... Yeah, you see her rent a car. So she's at least 25. Rents a nice Hyundai. And she's visiting her parents in Cleveland. She's like, hold on, Maui. I got to stop by the bottle shop.

Right. If you want to get up on the Jumbotron, it's MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Hi, my name is Graham Clark, and I'm one half of the podcast. Stop podcasting yourself. A show that we've recorded for many, many years. And at the moment, instead of being in person we're recording remotely and uh you wouldn't even notice you don't even notice the lag that's right graham and uh the great thing about this go ahead no you go ahead. Okay. Okay, go ahead.

And you can listen to us every week on MaximumFun.org. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Your podcasts. You never know who you'll run into in Fairhaven, the city under the bubble. Allison Becker. Eliza Skinner. Keith Powell. Mucus-drenched imp monsters.

Rob Corddry. Christelle Alonzo. Judy Greer. Grotesquely possessive carnivorous plants. Justin McElroy. Travis McElroy. Griffin McElroy. Terrifying, malevolent, sentient beards.

John Hodgman. Paul F. Tompkins. Lisa Loeb. Bubble, the sci-fi comedy from MaximumFun.org. Just open your podcast app and search for Bubble. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Nick Weiger. Forgot to think of something. Aw, buddy. You want to take a second? We can, yeah, come on. You can get something in the chamber. You know, sometimes you... We can go back?

And I do a lot of podcasts, and sometimes the break is a break, and other times the break is a, oh, we'll be right back. And we're back. Hey, we're back. And this is... And, you know,

people do the shows their own ways, but I forgot that going out of the break, I got to have something. I didn't have anything. So I couldn't think of anything. That's okay. You should want to say, you know, we can call something back. Oh, that's fun.

You could... If you just say Radiant Life Gems, it's not that hard. Oh, that would have been fun. Because that would be fresh in everyone's mind. Okay, I'm going to do that. Yeah, people would love that. All right, team me up again tern i don't know about this because i i feel like that's my idea now okay so i should come

up with something else oh yeah like if nick had had that idea himself so nick come up yeah don't steal yeah right don't be a copycat take take it make a new idea uh so not radiant life gem that one's off the table. No. Okay, I'll... I mean, I'll give it to you for $20. Yeah, it's Venmo Jesse $20. I don't have Venmo, but you can PayPal me. I don't want to use PayPal. I don't like that it has that record of everything everybody gave money to or whatever.

Yeah, but PayPal has that too. I mean, really, all these apps have that. Yeah, everybody's. But PayPal's not public. Well, you can turn it off. You can make it so Venmo's not public. Yeah, you can turn that off. I find I don't like Venmo, but I find Venmo is convenient

just because enough people have Venmo. It's one of those things where it just reads. Do you have Zelly? Why don't you just Zelly it to me? I'll Zelly you the 20 bucks. Can you just send me some flues? Get a cashier's check. The internet currency flues?

My flues account got locked, so I don't think I can send you any flues. You know what? Just be Radiant Gems. It's fine. Alright, team me up again. Hey, I'm Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Nick Weiger, Radiant Life Gems. all right team me up again hey i'm jordan morris boy joy boy detective nick weiger

radiant life gems was that it was that your pet oh yeah yes oh yeah nick weiger bringing the heat with the great nickname that references the last segment when something momentous happens to you just like that, give us a call 206-984-4FUN or send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Here's one person who did that very thing. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Mike from Boston calling with a momentous occasion. I am driving on the highway, sitting in some heavy traffic, and I saw a car with Massachusetts license plates. Now, they say Massachusetts license plates in that it is a piece of cardboard with the word Massachusetts written on it

and a bunch of letters and numbers scrawled underneath, appended to the car where the license plate would go. And because we are in traffic, I was able to determine that this is a situation in both the back and the front of the car. And my first instinct was that maybe this is someone who is, like, lambing it and is just too dumb to steal real license plates, and maybe I should contact the authorities. But upon reflection, I'm thinking this one might just take care of itself,

particularly since we are sitting in traffic, and I see a bunch of flashing lights up ahead where the cause of the traffic is. So, yeah, pretty momentous. I like anybody who makes something out of cardboard. Can someone summarize that for me? I couldn't follow that. He was sitting behind somebody who had cardboard license plates, homemade cardboard license plates.

Oh, well, why did that take 45 minutes? Because I sometimes forget to say, keep it pithy. I used to always say, keep it pithy. And now I forget sometimes and people get excited. And then they're telling the whole story and they're getting into know, and they're meandering this way and that. And they don't keep it pithy. It sounded like he was delivering that in front of an amphitheater. A lot of resonance on that anecdote.

Was that Dave Chappelle on one of his secret shows? You never know who'll drop in. you never know we'll drop in man the other day i was at uh descanso gardens which is a um it's like an agri i mean not an agricultural garden uh we call that arboretum it's like an arboretum type situation yeah here in southern california and uh you know it's i got a membership i can you're allowed to take people it's safe can take my kids there it's a nice place and there is there is like a band shell amphitheater type thing there with a stage and everything and uh my kids were sort of playing in a pond looking for squirtles and um up on the stage there was just a 13 year old girl doing one-woman improv show for her mom, grandma, and very annoyed younger brother.

It was the greatest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. She asked for a suggestion and everything. Oh, it was so great. Wow. Oh, my gosh. I just think that's too young for a kid to know about improv. She'll just end up being ashamed of it later in life. Let's take another call.

Hi, Jordan, Jesse, Brian, Sonny D, and I hope the special guest is Rutger Hauer. I just had a momentous occasion. My name is Ben, and I'm diabetic. Sometimes when I can't sleep very well, I listen to old episodes of JJ Go because the random conversations take my mind off the fears of the world.

I was in a hallucinogenic dream caused by really low blood sugar, and yours and John Hodgman's voices were telling me I couldn't get to level seven of some maze I was in until I ate something. I realized that this was a freaky situation, so I immediately woke up, drank a juice box, and ate a granola bar I keep on my bed, and then I decided to call you.

Needless to say, thank you all for saving my life and creating an Indian podcast to keep me from life's many worries. All right, thanks, guys. First of all, you're welcome for saving your life. Second of all, this is not going to help you get to level seven. You need to focus on that maze, dude. Lock in. No, dude.

Say fuck it all and concentrate on the heist. It's all about the heist. I just want to apologize for not being Rutger Hauer. I know that's going to be a little point. Yeah, you fucked up, dude. Also, and you may be disappointed to learn at this point that Rutger Hauer sadly passed away in 2019. So probably might not be guesting on the show anytime soon, unfortunately. Great actor, great body of work. We once...

Oh, yeah, absolutely. It was a reference, Nick, many, many years ago. We actually booked Rutger Hauer on Jordan Jesse Go. His publicist, he had a memoir out, and his publicist was a fan of Jordan Jesse Go, and pitched him to us. We were like, yeah, sure, we'll have Rucker Hauer on. That sounds fun. And unfortunately, that morning, he called me. He said he was too sick to do the show. He was very gracious about it. He said he would reschedule. Unfortunately, we were not able to reschedule Rucker Hauer, though we did make some efforts.

And then sadly, for that reason, he passed away seven years later. Let that be a lesson to all you other legends out there. Yeah. If you're the lady from Blade Runner. Sean Young? Yeah, Sean Young.

If you're Edward James Olmos who's in Blade Runner, isn't he? Yeah. I call him Eddie. Eddie, if you're out there, get on Jordan Jesse Go. Olmos for JJ Go. Let's make it happen. I think that'd be fun.

What a name. Edward James Olmos. Oh, yeah. Edward James Olmos. My goodness. That's when names were names. Sounds so great. So much gravity to it.

All these kids running around named Hunter and Tristan. Edward James Olmos. That's a name. Sean Young. That's a name. A lot of people are going to tell you that their favorite Edward James Olmos movie is, of course, Stand and Deliver. But you can't overlook Zoot Suit that's my opinion interesting choice thank you oh look at me I'm Apple

I'm I'm another dumb name that a kid would have now Gunner Edward I'm a SoundCloud rapper I have an asterisk and a hashtag in my name right I'm Juice SoundCloud rapper. I have an asterisk and a hashtag in my name. Right. I'm Juice World.

Edward James Olmos. You don't see as many ruddy complexions as you used to. Right. How do we do that? How do we give today's modern young people a ruddy complexion? I don't know. I think they're going to have to drink more rot gut get out there kids put down the four locos i describe my own complexion as ruddy and i think what happened is that the uh us us ruddy folk got into podcasting because it's just

a you know it's a i i feel like they like they're looking for people with clearer skin for the camera these days, unfortunately. They call it, it's the ruddy man's art. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Nick Weiger, Mr. Pizza, pizza for women. Wow. I thought it was. Yeah, that's from the first segment Cool Well Nick Weiger It's been a joy to have you on the program As ever

Never less than a delight to talk to you What a treat Thank you for having me And a special shout out by the way To your co-host Heather Ann Campbell Who was kind enough to come on this week's program But unfortunately we had some technical difficulties, couldn't get her connection working.

And so she graciously bowed out and allowed you to carry the full weight of the show. And you did a wonderful job, except for the nickname thing. Yeah, that was a real faux pas. Heather probably would have done a great job of that. I mean, she has in the past. Oh yeah, you know she's got some nicknames. Doesn't even need any prep. She just have it ready to go. She'd have it in the chamber. She's a skilled improviser. Yeah. You know she's got some nicknames. Doesn't even need any prep. She'd just have it ready to go. She'd have it in the chamber.

Yeah, well, she's a skilled improviser. Yeah. You know? Not me. Talented, talented improviser. Nick Weiger, the co-host of How Did This Get Played? and the Doughboys podcasts. Also, a writer on television's Earth to Ned.

Oh, yeah. Available on the Disney Plus streaming platform. It's true. I also worked on that show, and boy, we just had a great time doing that. And yeah, it's been fun to watch the episodes. They really turned out great. If you got that Disney Plus streaming app,

yeah, give it a watch. We're having fun. Check it out. It's a big alien puppet, and he has a talk show. And a stunningly expressive face. A very expressive face. It's really,

the artistry and the wizardry behind that is really, is a sight to see. It is. I feel like I worried after I talked about it so much on last week's program that people that i talked about it so much that people would think it was either sarcastic or that i was avoiding talking about how funny it is it's just that it's so stunningly extraordinary

well it's mostly practical too all the all the movie magic you're seeing up there on screen mostly mostly practical so if you're tired of all the cgi gunk flying around in today's movies yes all these kids named gunner with their cgi gunner i know back we let's go back to a day of practical effects and edward james almost yeah um yeah it was totally uh it was uh yeah earth earth net is a is a total blast and uh yeah watch it. And if you like it, maybe do a little internet post about it because I think most of Disney's advertising budget is going toward Mulan, which is understandable. Nick Weiger, always a joy.

You can find us on Reddit, maximumfund.reddit.com. You can find us on Twitter at Jesse Thorne and at Jordan underscore Morris. You can tweet about the show with the hashtag JJGo. You can also like us on Facebook. Our producer is Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. Our theme music, Love You by The Free Design,

courtesy of our friends in The Free Design and at Light in the Attic Records. Very grateful to them all those years ago for agreeing to let us use that music. And I think that's about it. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.