Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 656: Thicc as a Bricc with Maddy Myers

Episode Date: October 1, 2020

Maddy Myers (Triple Click podcast) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the backlash to Peter Dinklage's voiceover work in the Destiny video game, the obstacles in the way of Jesse doing cosplay, brick trading, and how hard it is to play a video game and be engaging on a live stream. Check out Triple Click, MaximumFun's own video game podcast with Maddy!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, I've got a message for Los Angeles Unified School District's school superintendent, Austin Buechner. He's a listener? Hey, buddy, lose my number. Oh, man. Has Buechner been sending you some texts? Has Buechner been sliding into your DMs?

I should have been giving Austin Buechner, the school superintendent of the Los Angeles Unified School District, I should have given him a burner number. Los Angeles Unified School District, I should have given him a burner number. Yeah, I mean, why'd you get all those cell phones from 7-Eleven? They're just piling up. Give one to Buechner. You know what they tell you, Jordan? They tell you if you're at a party and you meet a cute school superintendent, but you think he's bad news and you're in a relationship anyway, you should just give him a fake number. And I didn't pay attention yeah but then like well then what happens if you see butener on the street then i mean i think personally i think i think you just have to be honest with superintendents you know say like hey it's been really nice talking to you but um you know i'm already in something and um you know

i'll let you know if that changes i mean i, I don't know personally with, with me and superintendents, I like honesty, but that's just me. Some people don't, some people like deception and, uh, cruelty. Not me. If I saw Los Angeles Unified School District school superintendent, Austin Buechner on the street, you know what I'd give him? A piece of my mind, Jordan. Oh my gosh.

Okay. Lose my number, buddy. Hold on. Hold on A piece of my mind, Jordan. Oh my gosh. Okay. Lose my number, buddy. Hold on. Hold on. Lose my number, buddy. We're trying to keep this show light and fun, but it sounds like we're getting salty. Every Sunday at dinnertime, the old phone rings. I pull it out.

I see it's a 213 number. And I briefly think, ooh, Warren G is calling me. 213 number and I briefly think, ooh, Warren G is calling me. Then I realize it's probably just Los Angeles Unified School District School Superintendent Austin Buechner. So I answer it in case it's Nate Dogg, Nate Dogg's ghost specifically. And on the other end of the line, good evening. This is Los Angeles Unified School District School Superintendent Austin Buechner. What are you wearing? Everything is still fucked. We're bad at our jobs.

Around dinner time, I will get a call that looks like it's from a nearby area code, but it's just someone screaming at me in Chinese. Oh. Is that Buechner? No, I think Buechner has a guy to scream in Chinese on his behalf. Oh, okay. Yeah. I think they have a variety of, you know, this is a very diverse school district. People speak many different languages.

Right. So they have to have a lot of different screamers. Mine's probably a spam call then. It's probably just a spam call. of different screamers. Mine's probably a spam call then. It's probably just a spam call. So just practically, I am genuinely curious, as someone with

no kids, what is going on? Is there like a thing where you know, you think maybe the kids are going to go to school but then Buechner sends you a robocall? Every week Buechner calls. Truly every week. Sometimes multiple truly every week sometimes multiple times a week right like

he is trying to working hard to make himself the star of this show but he's basically he's basically he might as well just be instead of telling me information about where i can pick up school lunches he should just be saying Bueller over and over. That's what the man sounds like. And he tells, he gives, like basically all he does is say everything is still fucked. Right.

And it's important for him to do this because otherwise people might accidentally send their kids to school. I appreciate his, you know, colloquial language. That's refreshing. A school superintendent who can get down and dirty. Say fuck. It's important for people to know where they can pick up their school lunches.

I'm a former free school lunch recipient. I'm not afraid to admit it. I mostly just drank the chocolate milk and threw the rest away. It was pretty gross. But hopefully it's better in 2020 here in Los Angeles. I don't know. But people need the calories. I understand that.

Kids need food. It's great. But Buechner, buddy, lose my fucking number. Wait, wait. So is your main complaint, let me see if I can paw through this here. Yeah. Is your main complaint that the school district is not getting shit together, or it sounds more like you're just annoyed with Buechner's voice?

If it was someone more dynamic. All of the above, buddy. Just putting it out there. Imagine this. I'll give you an example. Good evening. putting it out there if this imagine this i'll give you an example uh good evening this is los angeles unified school district school superintendent austin butener i'm here to tell you that we got our fucking act together your kid's gonna go to school and safely we've hired new teachers and let the teachers who are at risk stay home uh your kid's gonna learn things for

the first time in a year i'd be delighted i'll give you another example okay this is an alternate example okay good evening this is the muffled tones of barry what everything's still fucked i'd be glad to have that call too right Right. Either one. So it's really the combination, I guess, is what I'm getting at here, Jordan. What about voiceover King Billy West? And then he could call with a new character every day. Like, hey, it's me, Stimpy. No, I prefer John DiMaggio. Also a good choice. Yeah. John'Amaggio. That's the robot from Futurama. Yeah. Bender, Jake from Adventure Time.

And I learned on Twitter this week, also someone who has played King Shark. Yeah. I once shared a van, like an airport van at SF Sketch Fest with John D'Amaggio. And it's just really amazing when a human man has a cartoon voice. He was too far away from me to get, he was like two rows behind me in the van, you know? So I didn't really, I didn't, wasn't able to develop a relationship with him. Now, did I make friends with Teen Witch on that ride? Yeah, sure. Teen Witch from the movie Teen Witch?

Yeah, she seemed like a great lady. But a couple rows behind me was John DiMaggio, and it's just amazing that a person could talk like the robot from Futurama. I saw him in public once, too, and I just wanted to hug him he looks he's you have you i don't know if you've seen them at you jim demagio looks like this big like a like a fitter santa yeah the fit young santa i just want to hug him yeah give him a big hug should we bring our guest onto the program maybe she's played king shark at some point that would that would help us that would help us uh fill out our King Shark bingo card. I think it would.

I think it would be fantastic. Our guest on the program is Maddie Myers. She is the Senior Games Editor at Polygon. More significantly for our purposes, she's one of the co-hosts of Max Fund's very own gaming podcast, Triple Click. It's true. Maddie, welcome to Jordan Jesse Go, which is the name of this show.

Right, of course. Thank you so much. I am so surprised, Jordan, that you didn't jump in to say that Chantamaggio also voices Marcus Fenix from Gears of War. Is that not a video game poll you can grab out of your back pocket? You know, I have not played a Gears game in some time. I have not had an Xbox. It just feels like your shit, though.

It feels like it fits your oeuvre. No, you know, hey, listen, though. Look at me making excuses over here. Oh, I haven't had an Xbox in a while. You know what? I'm going to own this. I fucked up. I fucked up, and I'm not afraid to say it.

That's right. Gosh, to all the listeners. Now that I've mended that, I can just check on out, honestly. And you know, the other important thing to note in my intro that was left out for some reason is that I am a longtime Jordan Jesse Goh listener. I don't know if Brian briefed you two on that, but the reason why I knowordan's video game tastes is because i've been listening to the two of you talk since 2011 or so and this is terrifying oh that was a good year that was a good year for the show it was great it's uh i'd say it's been just in neutral since then i don't i don't think it's i don't think it's gone up or down yeah by which i mean it's still great i mean to clarify 2011 just owned for you guys just yeah great guest after great guests those were our those were

our glory days uh-huh what are we if not coasting sure yeah the uh the strokes had 2001 we had 2011 the other day i was driving home with my daughter in the back of the car and the block before my house is a very steep hill. And I'm driving up the steep hill and Gracie, my daughter from the backseat, she goes, hey daddy. And I'm like, yeah. And she says, can you put the car in the one that's not forward or backward? And I looked in my rear view mirror. The street was clear. So I went ahead and did it.

I threw that baby into neutral. We rolled back down the hill. And then I went back up the hill. Cool. I am my daughter's hero now. it back up the hill. Cool. I am my daughter's hero now. Nothing I've ever done in my life has impacted my child more than my willingness to roll backwards down a hill in neutral because she thinks it's amazing there's a way to make the car not go forward or backward. Just roll. These are pandemic activities now. We just see what the car can do. We just see

what all those buttons do, you know? I think in this metaphor, by the way, Maddie, Jordan, Jesse, go is the car. Jordan and I are throwing it into neutral and you're my daughter, Grace, who thinks it's really cool that we're rolling backwards down a hill in great danger. She sounds great. She watches a lot more movies than I do. But other than that, we're identical in every way. Yeah. You guys have had a video game slate of shows lately. I've been listening all along. All you talk about is video games now. I'm loving it. Because, you know, back in 2011, there weren't that many podcasts to listen to. I was really on the lookout for some video game

shows. And this was one of the ones I was like, every now and then Jordan Morris mentions Blanca the Beast from Brazil. And that just gives me a little hit of serotonin. And that was enough for me back then. I do love to mention Blanca. Uh-huh. Just every now and then I'm like, right, Jordan plays Street Fighter. They don't talk about it on the show often, but he does it. And that just kept me going, you know? Please include me in this, Maddie. Sometimes I list the names of the lesser teams in the Nintendo game Baseball Stars, SNK Crushers. That's a great point. You went through a Skyrim phase, who could forget? And

of course, you've transitioned neatly from Skyrim to Breath of the Wild, which is just a straight line. And it's perfect. And I'm so glad for that for you. How are you doing, by the way you still side questing in there oh well I defeated that naked island uh so that was great phew um I've got a lot of what are they called legendary beasts hey you know what you could say when um you're on the naked island what's that uh dinks out links out you could say that you could say that one could say that i don't know if you should say it um you could i actually can i tell you what i can i tell you what i said i'm a celebrity get me out of here link is a bit of a celebrity he's known about town felda knows who he is yeah that's right they he there's legends about him because he defeated Calamity Ganon and went to sleep for 100 years.

He's stolen a lot of stuff from people. That gets around. He's ruined a lot of bushes. He's ruined a lot of lives. I got a fish suit. Yeah. Yeah, that's memorable. People remember you if you wear a fish suit around.

I think that's true even in our world as opposed to the world of Hyrule. I don't know. I don't wear a fish suit.. I think that's true even in our world as opposed to the world of Hyrule. I don't know. I don't wear a fish suit, but I think that's the case. Maddie, I have also noticed that the show has been video gamey, video gamey-er lately. Maybe it's a COVID thing.

I don't know. I mean, it's gotta be. I mean, I think there was a period where I'm like, eh, I don't wanna just, you know, I don't wanna just, this isn't a video game show. I don't wanna just yak about video games this whole time.

And like, you know. We have this new video game show on the network. Maybe people are listening to that now. I don't want to step on triple clicks. Please, please. It's fine. Every show can become a video game show. Maybe that's really been the long con

that I've been pulling off this whole time since 2011. I've just been like, how do I get this network to only produce content about games? But anyway, back to you, Jordan. Oh, no, no.

I mean, I, but I, I think you're absolutely right. I think it is just kind of a COVID thing where it's just like, uh, you know, we got to talk about something.

I don't know. Like, you know, what are we doing? The, the cat's sleeping. That's funny. Uh,

uh, I, I finally watched Deadwood you know and it's like who i don't know i'm just like sitting in this apartment by myself you know it's like yeah sure like let's talk about sakura why not yeah i mean we could talk about waluigi we could yeah maddie i wanted to know what do you do like who you i want to know who your favorite video game characters are and are people compelled to send you fan art of them they are so i i feel like early on in my internet existence i staked claim in the metroid series just as a fan those are pretty cool video games they're fine but i feel like feel like if you come out swinging

with some type of fandom and then you attain even just the slightest whiff of micro fame, which I would say I have within an extremely small subset of people, those people will then always send you fan art of the thing forever. Similar to you all getting Waluigi art and tweets and related content forever.

People send me Samus and Metroid related content endlessly. And it's largely fine. I don't mind this. But it does create a situation where many people will be tweeting me the same thing over and over. And I'll be like yeah I'm still really excited about the tiny glimpse of Metroid Prime 4 we still haven't gotten can't can't wait to to finally see that video game but yeah it it does it does become a lot after a while

I do actually also like Marcus Fenix a lot though okay that guy's cool yeah I I have a lot of embarrassing games that I like and Gears of War is absolutely one of them. So. Gears of War had a great, I can't think of the name right now. Maybe you can as a fan. I remember Gears of War has a great like in universe made up future sport. It's like, it's not Blitzball, but it's something like Blitzball. It is. Do you remember what it is? It's wild that I can't remember the name of it, but it's something like Blitzball. It is. Do you remember what it is? It's wild that I can't remember the name of it, but it's played by Coltrane, who's sort of like a racist stereotype character.

It was, you know, a decade ago. Is there a character named Coltrane? There is, and he is a fake football player. I say fake modifies football here, not player. He is a true player of this fake sport which is like blast ball or thrash ball it came to me don't ask me how it's played so that this was one of those classic game situations where in the first game that game is just patently caricatures of human beings and it's goofy as hell and then by the time they get to

Gears of War 3 video games as a medium have become more serious and so that game is a lot more serious and they so they have to come up with like a really significant way to incorporate thrash ball and Cole's diminished career in the face of the locust threat and so he like walks through a grocery store and sees a cardboard standee of himself as a former thrash ball player and it's this intense moving scene but you're also like remember when the voice actor for Coltrane recorded a novelty rap in the end credits of the first Gears are we just pretending that didn't happen that's in the same world of games but uh yeah I mean listen I mean I think if we're gonna just exist in the real world of these thrash ball players i mean they have real problems with cte after they get off the field you know

they do and and the thrash ball to army pipeline pretty fucked up when you think about it like a little fucked up a to b there like wow that guy had a tough life you know and gears of war 3 really wanted us to think about that i feel like college thrash ball players deserve to be paid. Thank you. Thank you. They do. I know. Especially in EA Sports' tie-in thrash ball games where their likenesses are used.

Yeah, I mean. Serious issue for today's times. He's on the cover, for gosh sakes, and he's not getting paid? And what about that thrash ball curse you know it's how this school makes all their money yeah it's it's haunting and that's those are the kinds of serious issues we talk about on triple click and i hope people just check that show out because we talk about thrash ball every week jesse and i uh we went to a college that didn't have a lot of sports but um they did not have thrash ball, but they had a great thrash frisbee team.

Did you have Ultimate? You did, right? We did, yeah. UC Santa Cruz. Ultimate and Hacky Sack. So Ultimate and Hacky Sack both rampant. Yeah. And mountain unicycling. Mountain unicycling. Was there a team for that? No, that's a solitary person. Okay. I don't know. Maybe it's like track. I'm going to be frank, Maddie. That's a solitary person. Okay. I don't know. Maybe it's like track.

I'm going to be frank, Maddie. That's a sport of the lonely. Uh-huh. It is. Yeah, it's a sport for thinking, for thinking about your choices and about your cool add-ons that you can put on your bike. Expensive hobby. Yeah.

Thinking about how your butt hurts. Our Agitprop clown group almost went all the way my senior year. And by all the way, I mean they almost finished their Ralph Nader puppet in time for the St. Patrick's Day parade. That's the goal. Almost. But they didn't because they spaced. Maddie, did you go to college? I feel like I don't know much about you

other than having listened to Triple Click I did for some reason I did go to college I went to Boston University That was fine I did not make any friends there and I played a lot of Counter-Strike in the dorms That was what I decided to do

Land? Land parties? Yeah, of course. You know, you could have land parties, but you could also do that thing where multiple people had multiple Xboxes, and then you could hook those up, and that would be a land party of a kind. We would do that as well. We would play paintball in the backyard of my friend's cape house.

These are the accoutrements of my teenage years and early 20s. I feel like all of this cut me out for being one of the few female games journalists of the late 2000s and early 2010s. Because I was already used to dealing with whatever that was and just decided to continue it for several years afterwards for some reason. Yeah. So that's how that happened. What about you? Did you do LAN parties? No. So I, you know, okay.

So I, at the time, if you would have asked me, I would have taken have taken some pride i'm like well you know i like i like nerdy stuff but i'm not i'm not that i'm not that kind of nerd but like me and my friend jim just like downloaded roms of every megaman game and sat up all night trying to beat them and we also we also basically we downloaded the demo of the game worms we never bought the full game no need we just played the demo of worms endlessly yeah for for let's say two years of school i have some very vivid memories of our friend jim and maddie you've never met jim but perhaps nine years ago you heard him on our show as the master of would you rather of course yes he that was 2011 great year for the show he's been on a couple times since then but yeah go on jim is a wonderful kind decent man uh but his his greatest personal quality is that he's

much handsomer than we are he's really a very handsome guy. Good looking guy. Good looking guy. And he has the kind of charming handsomeness that makes everyone around want to be on his team. And in fact, he often is on a variety of teams. He plays a lot of club table tennis, ping pong. Yeah. He just, when he became a, he's some kind of, he's some kind of laser engineer or something. I don't really understand.

He got a physics degree. But anyway, there was a bunch of- He's actually training under a scientist named Dr. Light, apparently they're trying to. Scientists who built Mega Man. Got it. Okay. Thank you for the context on that. Anyway, Jim is a guy with a mile wide smile that anyone would want to hug. And many of my memories of Jim and Jordan's freshman year of college, when I was their RA, was Jim just showing up in the hall, doing that kind of double fist pump like both arms

out and just going, worms! But specifically it should have been the demo of worms! The free demo. We don't need to buy all of worms, he shouted, pumping his fist into the air. There's no

need for it. We don't need to spend $14. It's still entertaining, even in its current form. Yeah. So I mean, in hindsight, what's sadder, that or a LAN party where there's more people and it's kind of a social thing? So I think what we were doing was sadder than a LAN party, for sure. Yeah. LAN parties seem like fun in hindsight.

Yeah, it does. Jordan, I think we can agree on one thing. The coolest thing to do on your computer in 2000 is to play in an online simulated baseball league. I'm always saying that. Yeah. baseball league. I'm always saying that. Right. Yeah. People who are not playing FPS sports baseball are just, I'll say it, nerd wads. I have basically in my life never played online games because I am not good at them and I'm afraid of being picked on. That's a good reason not to do it. Yeah. Well, you could just only do it with people who are kind to you and make you feel safe. That's what I've regressed to at the fine age of 34,

where I once was a competitive gamer who played Counter-Strike as a 19-year-old. And now I'm only interested in playing games with people I've known for years who will not be mean to me if I don't know how to do anything. That has been my trajectory. What, yeah, what games do you, because I also don't really play online games. Right. What do you play online and how do you ensure that it stays a safe and supportive environment? Well, again, only playing with people I know extremely well.

I've been, just today I was playing a Destiny 2 raid. So Destiny 2, it's an MMO, a la World of Warcraft, massive multiplayer online game. It is a game where you shoot aliens. I don't think you need to know anything else. A raid, the main challenge of it is trying to get six adults in one place at the same time. And by one place, I, of course, mean virtually because that's the only thing that matters

anymore and also the only thing that exists anymore. And everything else is kind of secondary. As long as you find five other people that you can stand to talk to who won't get really angry at you if you don't shoot the right alien at the right time you're great you're good it's just hanging out with pals it may as well be a skype call but it's chill if it gets kind of quiet for a few minutes because there's still aliens there that is perfect socializing i feel like like Jordan would be nice to me, but he would be disappointed in me because I didn't remember the combos. Uh-huh.

Oh, well. I remember, I've never played Destiny apart from the demo of the first one. I played the demo of the first one. That demo's all right. That demo's kind of cool looking. There's like a big fan peter dinklage is there for a second yeah it's okay so the thing that i got whenever i see destiny so i guess i

guess people didn't like the dinklage he did not in the he is no longer in the game yeah yeah so they took him out they had dinklage and they took him out because the backlash was so severe wait hold on this video game got dinked? Yeah. And it was a huge deal. And then they let it go? The station agent himself. Yeah, that was the main citation.

It wasn't Tyrion from Game of Thrones. That wasn't what people were thinking about when Destiny debuted its demo. People weren't even mentioning that as a get. Peter Dinklage from The Baxter? We love station agent. We love his cameo in Elf. We love all of these things about the dinklage from the baxter we love station agent we love his cameo in elf we love all of these things about the dink and that's why we're so excited he's in destiny but i feel like mainly what everyone learned from that was that voice acting is actually super hard and that emoting

a lot of a lot of peter dinklage's skill is his beautiful face. And when you just hear his voice, you're like, wow, that's a very evocative voice. But it's not quite measuring up to the other voices in the game from trained voice actors who are names of people you've never heard of before. And that was just kind of a strange experience. I liked it, though. I liked that Dink was not really bringing anything to the role. I liked just the monotone Dinklage there. I thought it was fine. I did too. And I will always remember this delivery. And I think this line kind of became a little bit famous, but I certainly remembered it when I certainly took note of it when it came up in the game. Dinklage, he's like your AI friend and you kill somebody and he just says, that wizard came from the moon.

body and he just says that wizard came from the moon and yep it an iconic line it's great i think they were so i think there's that wizard came from the moon t-shirts if there are anyone has a line on a that wizard came from the moon t-shirt i will buy it off you you know i feel like there's a lot of lines from video games that you could excise out and they would be just as embarrassing. Yeah, it's a video game. All the lines are bad. Yeah, like, what wizard didn't come from the moon? Sure, it came from the moon. It's fine. That's where wizards come from. Things are from the moon here.

The moon's haunted. It's got different aliens on it. Whatever. Don't worry about it. It's destiny. Everyone knows the moon is haunted. Everyone knows that now. We all know that.

We all know. And that's something we've learned from playing this game because we've paid attention to the lore we've read the wikis but i feel like as soon as you get like a superstar actor into a game it just alters the gravitational pull of everything else about it where it's like oh shit like we've been saying video games are art for like 15 years and like trying to get people to take us seriously but like now the dink's here and he's saying that wizard came from the moon is this maybe stupid like did we maybe we maybe for like 15 years and like trying to get people to take us seriously but like now the dink's here and he's saying that wizard came from the moon is this maybe stupid like did we maybe we maybe is this maybe just uh dumb like i don't know and and everybody was just running around pulling

plugs out of walls like we gotta get nolan north or somebody in here that gamers know the voice and like nobody else does that's the only way forward in a situation like that who's your top uh guy or lady or uh non-binary actor who uh if only there were more non-binary actors that i could cite that would be great if i could just whip out a bunch of a bunch of enbies here but anyway anyway, continue. Let's get Rhea Butcher some video game parts. Representation. That would be wonderful. And me too.

Yeah. Get Jesse in there. I mean, I'm not non-binary. I'm just throwing it in there. I feel like Jesse would be great. Jesse could be an AI character. I feel like he could bring the gravitas. Jesse, can we get three different reads on that wizard came from the moon?

Or do we just want to have some options? Go, go. Sure. And then do you need some efforts yeah just do it so yeah so three let's do have three different takes on that wizard came from the moon and then let's say just 10 seconds of grunting and straining sure that wizard came from the moon okay we got that one That wizard came from the moon. Okay, we got that one. That wizard came from the moon. Okay, just dial that back 20, 25% for the next one.

Okay. That wizard came from the moon. Okay, we're going to use the first one, and now the others. One, two, three, four, five, six. one two three four five six the last one is in case my in-game character drinks an orangina right oh yeah very refreshing because we do have that partnership yeah with orange it's one of the best of the pulp sodas yeah we are going to need a couple lines about how good orangina is and we have got some product tie-in flavors that are related to destiny 2 lore so yeah i have to say orangina wizard fuel this does connect with the world of gaming but as long time jordan jesse go listeners know i've long been upset that uh the television show Archer which is my favorite show and is

about to come back on FX I believe or FXX I should say it has never featured me on the program despite featuring almost every comedian I know at some point or other because it's my favorite show so I feel like I belong on it

however it's been a long, so I feel like I belong on it. Sure. However, it's been a long time and you can't have everything. That said, today my children, my three and six-year-old, were watching a television show called Minecraft Story Mode. Uh-huh. It's basically the Super Mario Brothers Super Show for a new generation. It's a smash hit. We've all heard of it.

Yeah. We're constantly watching Minecraft Story Mode. Who isn't watching it? Captain Lou Albano plays Minecraft, right? It's definitely not the first I'm ever hearing about this show. That's not the situation. Well, Maddie, here's the problem. You're not six that's true that is true so here is my concern with uh here is my concern with minecraft story mode right in this

one episode i counted like four different past jordan jesse go. I am lowering my standards here. No longer do I demand to be on my favorite show because everyone I know has been on it. Now I demand to be on this show that I have nothing but contempt for because everyone I know has been on it. Do you think your kids would be impressed if you were on the show or do you think it would just wash over them? I'll tell you this this they weren't impressed that i'm friends with john hodgman and he's on it yeah i mean do they even register that kind of thing as how do they feel about you being on npr uh on the weekends well they're like wait dad you're Sam Sanders? You're not?

Oh, well, then you're clearly Puzzle Master Will Shorts. I have to say, like, one of the weird things about raising my children in Los Angeles, and this is something that I remember very vividly, when our old pal Gene from college would tell us different things about his childhood growing up in Sherman Oaks, which was his parents were film and television writers and former actors. And they wrote on Hercules, The Legendary Journeys. And his neighbor was Bryan Cranston. And this was before Bryan Cranston became a capital G, capital A great actor. But he got the part on Malcolm in the Middle while he was their neighbor and he was their friend. And I remember thinking, to me, this is the most extraordinary thing I've ever heard in my life, that their neighbor was a working actor.

Like, this was beyond imagining to me that they knew someone who worked in show business. You know what I mean? That as a kid, and then, you know, we found out, oh, his best friend from high school's mom produced Adam Sandler movies and on and on and on and on. It's just the life of a person in Sherman Oaks, I think. I tell my children every time I have ever interacted with somebody in some media that they're enjoying because every time it blows my mind. Like me as a 39-year-old man, 20 years into my career such as it is I am always amazed when I when my children are watching a show and my friend John Hodgman is

in it and I get really excited I want to text John Hodgman and be like oh you're in Minecraft story mode my children could not give one half of a shit because it's already normalized for them because you've been telling them this whole time maybe you should have been saving it up I mean it's already it's already normalized for them because you've been telling them this whole time. Maybe you should have been saving it up.

I mean, it's already too late. But if you'd been saving it up the whole time and just been like, yeah, who knows who any of these people are? And then just suddenly you dropped on them. Like that John Hodgman guy, he's coming over in an hour. Like would that have just blown it wide open?

It doesn't matter. Again, it's too late. I'll tell you this. When John Hodgman came over, my children, much more excited that they were getting my taco than that they were meeting the PC

from Mac versus PC commercials. And they don't even watch The Daily Show. Was that because that was on before they were born? I don't know. Yeah, it could have been that. That actually might be, you might be onto something, Maddie. Watch The Daily Show. Was that because that was on before they were born? I don't know. Yeah. It could have been that. That actually might be.

I think you might be on to something, Maddie. I don't know. It could be just that they've never seen those and don't know what they are. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Great commercials, though. Wow. Great commercials.

Great ads. Max PCs. Justin Long, a star. Just a war that's gone on for lo these many years. And when will it end? Max and PCs. Sure. Still, to this day, it rages on.

Uh-huh. Oh, I'm a, oh, I'm a this. And oh, I'm a, oh, you get out of my. Yep. You know how it goes. Jesse can't weigh in on it, though, because he hosts an NPR show. Right. Got to stay neutral in the great war.

Yeah. Same for the console wars. There is an entire chapter of the NPR Ethics Manual on that subject. Maddie, I would like to back up to Metroid fan art. Great, sure. Does it get saucy? Do people say, does it, how? Because while Luigi got saucy,

he has not been a character for that long and it's already saucy. There's quite a lot of saucy Metroid fan out there. I feel like it gets a little strange with me specifically because, well, I've had a lot of unusual jobs and in media mostly. And at least one of them during my periods of underemployment was that I appeared

in a series of videos for Destructoid as Samus. People can go find these if they want to. It was before I started taking journalism slightly more seriously. It was during one of my off periods where I was like, fuck it. Maybe I'm just a pro cosplayer now. I don't know. How do people make money in this terrible world? I thought to myself. And so I appeared in some novelty videos as Samus. And I feel like that also kind of complicated things because then it meant that if somebody was sending me lewd fan art of Samus, like were they implying something about me?

And I think that might be a better place to be in though because anytime people are questioning to themselves should i not send this woman on the internet something would it be creepy the better the more often people are thinking that always the better always be thinking that and that's good so maybe i should just be playing more video game characters in my day-to-day and that would actually help the rest of my life improve because i'd be like ah now this weird troll troll thing you're saying to me about how i should die it's also applies to your favorite video game character so reconsider you don't want bayonetta to die you wouldn't you wouldn't dare want pikachu to die and look at this cool mascot outfit I've got. So, so there, jerks.

What was the Samus costume? Because if people don't know Samus, that's big chunk in space armor. Yeah, I was Zero Suit Samus so that you could see my face and my facial expressions and so on and so forth. Yeah, I did a lot of cosplay when I was younger because I'm so cool. You know, we're talking about me a lot on this show. I was kind of hoping for Jesse and Jordan's fun life anecdotes. That's normally what the show is like. We got shit. You want to hear more about Sekiro? I don't know.

I'm down, man. She's not really doing anything. I watched Deadwood. It was pretty good. I got shit. Great. Like a dumb little walk every day. The government walks. I know. I know. So we just have to talk about embarrassing things I did in my early 20s. And that's all this is now. Yeah. So I used to

cosplay a lot. I thought it was a fun way to spend time because just hanging out watching a billion episodes of star trek while building craft foam armor is cool i mean honestly my whole life i've lived it inside already so i was very prepared for our current reality but like if you go back 10 years if you go back seven years in my life and you ask me to describe an anecdote or like what i was getting up to i was inside i was inside at the time i was doing some type of Sailor Moon rewatch or I was, you know, playing Street Fighter for 500 hours. That's what was going on.

And in that time, I was also making a Samus Zero suit with paint and a bodysuit. I have a pretty important follow-up question here. Go on. I also have a follow-up. Over to you, Jesse. I'll take Jesse, then Jordan.

Jesse, go ahead. Thanks, Maddie. That's more of a comment. Mm-hmm. Okay okay jordan do you want to go first no no you go ahead mine's more of a comment should i bring it should i rewind it i noticed you've been rewinding it on this episode do you mind if i rewind it real quick to when uh maddie was talking about people sending her pictures of the characters she had played in the novelty videos. And then I was going to say, I have that same problem with people sending me lewd pictures of Expressions College of Art and Design. Of course. I can only imagine. I was in their local television commercial. Of course, I was naked in that commercial. So sure. Makes sense. That sounds like victim blaming of

yourself. And I don't stand for that kind of thing. Yeah, be kind. Be kind to yourself, Jessie. It was a job, you know? Thank you. Maddie, no, this is my question. What is the difference between standard foam and craft foam? Great question. I don't know that I have a good answer. I feel like a standard foam is just your classic packing foams.

There is a specific type of foam called craft foam that you can get you can get it at your blick art materials you can get it at amazon.com whatever whatever your cosplay uh store of preference is you can probably find a craft foam and it's these these very thin sheets that uh i don't know it's it's just got a certain consistency. And it takes to a glue like a wonder. And that's what you need. And you need that cosplay armor to not be made out of metal because you're going to get into that coat check and they're going to tell you,

we don't allow that sort of thing at our convention. And you're not going to be let in. So you got to have it be foam, baby. But it's got to look like metal. So you need like a very thin, bendable foam that you can then infuse with glue that will dry and keep it sort of hardened into a pauldron shape, for example. So that was how I made my Zelda armor when I was Ocarina of Time Zelda many years ago. Ocarina of Time Zelda many years ago.

I got to tell you this, Maddie. I always imagined that I would be good at cosplay because let's be honest, what day do I leave the house not wearing a ridiculous costume of some kind or another? Sure. But here's what, if I have learned one thing about myself over the course of the past six months or so, it is this. I hate projects. There's nothing, there is truly nothing in the world that I hate more than doing a little

fucking project. Like in arts and crafts, for example? Oh, you got to get some of these, and then you got to get some of those, and then you got to get this special kind of fucking project. Like in arts and crafts, for example? Oh, you gotta get some of these, and then you gotta get some of those, and then you gotta get this special kind of fucking glue. And then you gotta sit there. You got a big tray on your kitchen table, and it stays there for weeks and weeks and weeks,

and you're just, every day, moving a little piece of wire. Yeah, you don't like that. Interesting, okay. At the end of it, you got some fucking, you got some shit you made out of a fucking balloon. Congratulations. Yep. Throw that in the garbage.

Well, what if I told you that that shit you made out of a balloon would impress a whole lot of other nerds at a huge convention? None of this is happening in 2020, of course, but you know, in years past. First of all, Maddie, I can only speak for myself, but I'm artsy. But these nerds that you, of course, I have nothing but respect for nerds. I happen to be artsy, but I have respect for nerds. And I would like it if I impressed them. And you're worried your costume won't?

Is that why you don't even try, you think? No, yeah. I mean, it almost certainly wouldn't. I mean, like, maybe I could cosplay as Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney. Sure, that's just a suit. You've really got to get that good wig, though, because, you know, and you'd have to shave. Are you saying because I'm balding? Well, and because human hair doesn't really do what Phoenix Wright's hair does ordinarily, at least not without a lot of work. Yeah, anime hair is pure fantasy. Yeah.

But hey, there may be somebody out there who's gotten their hair to do what Phoenix Wright's hair does and shout out to that person and the amount of styling glue that they have on hand to make it happen. It's a great, great look. Thanks to the good people at LA Looks. The ultimate gel. Have we talked, Jordan, on this program about the brand of cleaning

products that's only available in independent dollar stores in Southern California that's called LA's Totally Awesome? No, but I got to get some of this. Sounds like it's perfect for me. You can't go to the Dollar Tree and get this. You can't go to the 99 Cents Only store and get this. Sounds like it's perfect for me. You can't go to the Dollar Tree and get this. You can't go to the 99 Cents Only store and get this. You have to go to, you know, Tommy's Dollar Outlet. But if you go to Tommy's Dollar Outlet

and you're looking for a nice cleaning product, get yourself a jar of LA's Totally Awesome. How's it clean? Oh, it's like a whistle, as they always say. Maddie, when it comes to Street Fighter, who's your main? Who's your main and who's your backup? It actually was Blanca for a very long time.

Me too. He's great. He's great. I played him in Street Fighter 4 for a while. I tried to get good at Chun-Li. I do like a charge character. I'll say that. I assume you do too. Mostly because that get good at Chun-Li. I do like a charge character. I'll say that.

I assume you do too. Mostly because that's how I learned how to block. I was not very good at Street Fighter for a long time. And a charge character, you have to keep blocking. How do you keep a charge character from charging? You got to keep them charging anyway. You want them to charge. Take away his credit card, of course. Fuck off. Yeah. and by that i mean wonderful joke so glad you had me on not embarrassing myself at all loving every minute of this feel like i'm nailing it i think blanca is probably the stretchy guy he's not that's dulcim but i mean the real the real answer is corner pressure it's corner it's corner you can't let him build

butter controlling the space controlling the space. Controlling the space. Control the space. Yeah. Spacing. That's the whole game, Jesse. It's spacing. Footsies. Sexy terminology for a fighting game thing.

Yes, he is. He's the big green guy. And he does a somersault. Does a variety of somersaults across the screen. Anyway, he's supposedly not a good character. I don't really care because he's not i don't he's supposedly not a good character i don't really care because he's fun and hilarious and he's sort of a troll pick but like he's amazing yeah i don't know i think if you're if you're i i found myself in a situation where like i i love the street

fighter games but but i can't just can't hang online because it's hellish. Yeah. Because it's hellish. Cause everyone is so good immediately. Uh huh. Um, yeah. And yeah, it's just embarrassing. I have one friend who likes to play street fighter.

His name is Mike and he's so, he's crazy. He's like way better than I am. So it's not, I can tell it's not fun for him when we play. Um, but he plays with me sometimes cause he's a nice friend. Oh,

um, that's good. But yeah, I have found that the only way to have any kind of advantage as someone who players would probably look at as a filthy casual, and I'm owning that, I'm a filthy casual, is you pick an unusual character. Like you do, you pick a blanca or you

pick a manat and then uh maybe just a fang if you will yeah that guy's weird then thanks weird you guys are just making noises now uh-huh we gotta bring jesse back in yeah we synced up before the show you know we gotta talk about lynx dong i's feeling lonely, you know? We gotta talk about Link's dong. I don't know how we worked it in. We gotta talk about that he calls it the Master Sword, baby. Yeah, you gotta like find a weird book to translate the plaque on it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Oh yeah, you know I do. Ba-bam! Jesse doesn't get that because it's from Link to the Past. It's not from the game he's playing. Do you guys ever play with the stretchy guy? Dawson? Yeah, that guy's cool.

I'm not very good with that guy, but he is a cool guy to play as. I will back up that choice. He can stretch across the whole screen. Yeah, that's something great about him. Yeah, talk about corner pressure. Jesus. You said it. Jesus Christ.

Talk about corner pressure. You gotta get him in the corner. And then they start panicking. That's really the only Street Fighter tip you need, or really any 2D fighter that you need. Once I realized how much of it was psychological, I feel like that unlocked something in me, where I was like, oh, sure, I gotta know a few combos,

but mostly I just need to fuck with the other person, and then they're gonna freak out, and then I can win, even if I'm not very good.'s my that's my dark secret yeah the secret to winning at street fighter is you make eye contact and then you do that thing with your where your eyeballs kind of shake uh-huh yeah right and they're like wow and then all of a sudden you're stretched across the fucking screen and then maybe just as i guess you're waiting to start, if you're in the lobby or something, just say to whoever you're playing, hey, tell that sticky daddy of yours I said hi.

And then they don't know what the fuck happened. And then they are afraid of you. They're confused. They're like, do I know this person? How do they know how sticky my dad is? They're either scared or confused. Yeah, how do they know? How do they find that out?

Jesse, I've got a question for you. You probably can't answer this on the air, but your kid's still watching that YouTuber that you bleeped out. And like, do you just need any moral support on that? I have a few really strong guesses as to who it is, but I won't say because we're being polite on this show. We are. Brian, bleep this out.

It's love you. Oh, see, I was bleep this out it's love you oh see i was i was gonna guess that it was love you no and then and then they also watch a friend of love you being named love you okay okay and they're both just horrible people they're well of course i youtubers being horrible people i that's shocking news to me I never covered anything like that before or interacted with it at all. Don't sass me. I lived this. Yeah, you know, every now and then at work, somebody will be like, we should do a list of YouTubers who aren't horrible.

And then everyone just laughs and laughs because it's like, that list would have to get updated constantly. Like, how on earth would we keep track of such a thing? It can't be done. You can't even make a ranked list like that list would have to get updated constantly. Like how on earth would we keep track of such a thing? It can't be done. You can't even make a ranked list like that. You know? You'd have to install a dinging bell in your office for every time one of them goes Nazi.

Every time one of them has a heated gaming moment. Yeah, I don't- I'll just say I like our buddies Rhett and Link. They made a t-shirt with my face on it. Those guys are all right. Yeah. Those guys are good guys. Those guys are sweet guys.

They are. Those guys are good guys. I don't know are good guys. Those guys are sweet guys. They are. Those guys are good guys. I don't know if they qualify. They do a lot of prescripted content. I feel like where you really get into trouble is these guys

who are just streaming for like 8 to 12 hours a day and it's like, you're gonna find out what they really think sooner or later. You're gonna get it right. You're gonna find out

that they really hate women and they've just been bottling it up for so long and it's gonna come out.. It's going to come out sooner or later. But yeah, maybe people should stream less. That's my hot tip for YouTubers. I sometimes think that one of the tough parts of being Rhett and Link is just working in a field where the opener to anyone who ever describes you is, they're they're great comma they're not evil period the bar is low i mean is that maybe the plus side though i bet that they wish that people would

start with they're really funny but because they're on youtube they probably almost anytime they're described by one person to another it has to start with they're not evil or like a bunch of qualifiers yeah just be like okay so it's it's sometimes there's nerd jokes but like stay with me stay with me it's uh it's not weird and uh racist suddenly you you'll like it well look we've addressed the fact that i have watched youtube videos when i was at my most depressed when my life was absolutely profoundly nightmarishly falling apart five or six months ago um i i was lying on the couch uh like intermittently crying and then comforting myself by watching these videos of a guy from jalopnik i think some car blog who just would

walk around brook Brooklyn and get excited about different cars. He saw wonderful, wonderful. And I'm not even like really a car guy. I just liked how excited he was about the different cars. I hear you. Jalopnik is a cool site.

One of my, one of my former coworkers, Kotaku and Jalopnik were under the same umbrella. Oh, RIP Gawker media. Maddie, do you have YouTube content, gaming or otherwise, that you enjoy? I don't really follow that many YouTubers. I have a lot

of friends who just stream. I feel like that's such a boring answer. It's like, oh, I just watch my friends who no one has heard of at all. But that's what I can stand because I know they're not going to be terrible. So that works for me for me on a recent triple click you guys were talking about doing you doing like a triple click stream yeah you guys that's true games together we have streamed a couple of times on twitch so far and we haven't been archiving those streams not not because we're just constantly spewing racist rhetoric we have not been doing that um but just because it's kind of nice to have streams be ephemeral and because that's not really we're not we're not in it to have a bunch of content i mean people can listen to the entire

podcast like that's already out there but yeah every now and then we'll do we'll do a twitch stream and it's really fun it's also very difficult like playing a video game and trying to be funny at the same time i know we all talk about that like that's just the coolest easiest job in the world and it looks so simple but actually doing it it's hard like you gotta keep up your hand eye coordination etc while being funny i've tried to do it a couple of times and the thing that i realized while it was happening was like, oh, I, like my, like video game playing is a turn off my brain thing for me. Yes. I'm not alert. I'm slumped over.

My, like, face probably looks like I've just been electrocuted. Yeah. I, like. But what if that was on camera for hundreds of people to see? Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I have to be like, hey, Sunday fun day, for hundreds of people to see yeah and i'm like oh i have to be like hey well sunday fun day huh what's up about this trump guy you know i would just be like yeah yeah yeah were you gonna do a lot of how about this trump guy material because i feel

like that might have been where you were running into issues like yeah maybe sure yeah i mean who am i to tell you what to do you know you're the comedian but i feel like maybe starting with some other stuff than that if depending on what game you're playing maybe you're playing a bunch of political flash games and you really had to get into your stuff i was playing the jib jab game yeah yeah i don't know i don't know i mean i don't know david brooks has been doing pretty good on Twitch lately. Sure, yeah. Yeah, get that guy in there.

Yeah, sure. Kids love watching Mark Russell play Fall Guy. Yeah, kids love seeing Nate Silver predict the various odds of different StarCraft outcomes. It's just all the rage. Silver loves the Zerg. He loves the Zerg, and he's not wrong they're they're a great great one to pick um yeah so we did a triple click stream recently which had some technical difficulties because my co-host kirk lives in portland and it was during the fires and he had he had a bunch of internet outages and ordinarily i feel like jason and i are very

spoiled because kirk so far has offered to host the streams and also have his gameplay be the gameplay that's that's shown and um he's very good so I feel like we can just kind of chill and be like yeah like Kirk's gameplay is getting shown right now like we can just kind of tell jokes and fuck around but then like Kirk's internet went out and like I had to suddenly host the stream and like show my gameplay and I was like damn all right uh yeah cool i guess i have to play well now because everyone's watching me and i'm panicking a little for the safety of my friend but hey you know it's a stream baby and i i it was it was really fun and i was i was glad we did it because i feel like it kind of lifted kirk through it through a time that was shitty um it's it's fun video games with your friends. And I think people liked it, even though we had to keep switching

the stream throughout. But yeah, I mean, it was tough. It definitely taught me in that moment, like, wow, yeah, having to have people watch me play and keep riffing at the same time. Very hard. I feel like I'd be really good at it. Oh, yeah? The best video game streamers, when you hear them talk, they're going like, oh, shit, what the fuck is this guy? Fuck, what fucking button? God, who is this guy? Who is this guy? Is this a new guy?

Or is this a guy from before? Grace, put it down. Grace, put it down. Where am I supposed to fucking go where am i supposed to fuck where's my gun don't i have a gun you're right what am i saying it's easy it's easy i getting paid to play video games it's so easy it's a career anyone can just start doing tomorrow that's that's what it's like i i'm i'm opening this up to the listeners i will i will gladly stream a game if you don't mind me being uh basically silent except for the occasional grunt

when i shift or softly whispering to the cat i would that'll be the only that'll be the only audio from me i'd be very relaxing i would be interested in a street fighter stream where periodically you explain to the viewers that you aren't as good as your friend mike and then everyone can just be like oh okay hmm he's still pretty good that would be entertaining to me i would like to watch that yeah then maybe mike would come on and just fucking school me in front of everybody and i'd cry like a baby fucking mike appointment viewing mike maines balrog that's how good he is oh the thing about mike is like mike is my friend because you know we went to high school together and we just have a lot of shared history but the guy's a

fucking asshole i mean he gets in there he just cleans my clock in front of everybody i'm like dude this is i'm trying to do this for a career. This is just your fucking hobby. You come in here and embarrass me, Mike. Everybody knows you're good, Mike. Yeah. Well. Yeah.

You have a successful post-production business and two beautiful children. Mike. Fucking Mike. He mains ball rug. Yeah. People with beautiful children shouldn't get to be good at anything else. I think that's just open and shut. As a woman child with no children, I get to just be good at video games.

And that's the life I've chosen for myself. But if you're a parent, you just pack it in. You're already done. You've nailed it. Fucking Mike. This guy mains Balrog. You know what I mean? That guy's not even stretchy.

Yeah. And then takes his beautiful daughter Sienna to swim class. She's a great kid. She's a great kid. She also mains Balrog. Thank you. Yeah. And she's getting very good because her father is coaching her.

And he's not even a weird stage dad about it. He's like caring and shows her combos slowly and compassionately. She was fucking bragging about it at swim class. Oh, hi, it's me, Sienna. I'm Maine Balrog. God, just imagine having a dad who means Balrog, you know? If only my father.

That's the dream. And main Balrog. I remember all the combos. My character's not even stretchy. Then I wouldn't have had to go with Blanca, you know? And now here we are, you know? I control the space. That's what it's all about.

Spacing. The whole game. Footsies. Those are terms she knows. My friend Mike is so serious about it he like he'll buy a joystick he'll buy a fight stick and then he'll import japanese parts and take apart the fight stick and rebuild it with japanese parts so it controls more like he thinks it should yeah i went through a phase briefly where i was modding fight sticks and i

feel like even in the moment i was was like, this is too far. Like any hobby where like, sure, I've made cosplays. But once you buy a soldering iron, I feel like you've crossed over into some other barrier. Octagonal restrictor plate. Where many people will not follow you

and will not understand what's happening anymore. Like you'll be describing what you've done. It was because I was like, well, it'd be cool if I had a fight stick that could play on the PS4 and the Xbox. And like, I just had some type of switch inside there that could just flip the switch. And then I'm going, going to fight nights, whatever, going to friends' houses. Fight stick works on both consoles. Don't recommend doing that. It's crazy. Guys, I'm sorry to say this because I just I don't want to embarrass you, but I don't need to mod fight sticks. I buy all my fight sticks direct from Balrog.

Wow. That guy, he has a surprisingly successful business selling fight sticks out of the trunk of his car, which is weird. You wouldn't think he would need the money. He makes some pretty amazing fight sticks in all that time he saves by not being stretchy. Uh-huh. And not being a loser, not being a fucking loser in the video game he's in. Okay, let's take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Every episode of Jordan, Jesse goes, of course, supported by our members, the members of Maximum Fun, all the folks who've gone to MaximumFun.org slash join. This week, we're also supported by the good people at CuriosityStream, which is a streaming service just for documentaries.

Smart TV for your smart TV. Jesse, can I tell you about my afternoon? Yeah, I'd love to hear about your afternoon. Did you go on a little fucking walk, or? Went on a little walk, and I got a little hot. Yeah. So I came in. Jordan, you're always hot. Thanks, but this was a temperature thing, not a

physical thing. Okay. Popped me a Private Select seltzer. Sure. Booted up CuriosityStream. stream there on my apple tv yeah and i enjoyed frank lloyd wright the man who built america it was a wonderful beautifully made documentary about frank lloyd wright the man had a wild life he built some wild buildings uh and it was a real pleasure and uh, something that I would not have gotten to watch if it weren't for curiositystream.com.

You know what I would love? It just has a life ambition. Get so important that when I get a touch of the consumption, I just move everybody to the desert. Just everybody. That's the dream. School, my colleagues, my family.

200 people moved to the middle of nowhere ass desert because I got a little bit of the consumption. A little bit of consumption. Just a little bit of consumption. We're all moving to the desert. Frank Lloyd Wright. It's called doing it Frank Lloyd Wright style. CuriosityStream.

They've got thousands of documentaries and nonfiction tv shows on topics like history nature science food technology travel and more i'm about to watch jordan i'm about to watch this the history of home narrated by our buddy the great nick offerman hey i've never met him is he your buddy he is my buddy man yeah you said hour i got excited i'm like oh wait i've never met him. But thank you for including me in that. It makes me feel good to think that maybe

there's a world where I'm Nick Offerman's buddy. I'm just totally fascinated by the way that places where we live have changed. Like, when people started using forks, for example. Like, for a long time, people would just hold it with the spoon

and hack at it with the knife and then eventually they figured out about forks. Those chuckleheads. Or like when they figured out they should have a hole in the ceiling for the smoke to go out of.

The next thing I'm going to watch on CuriosityStream, there's one on there about castle sieges. Oh, shit, yeah. You love a siege. Who doesn't? Sieges are great. I want to watch a whole show about castle sieges oh shit yeah you love you love a siege who doesn't sieges are great i want to watch a whole show about castle sieges jordan yes i not only do i want to watch a whole show about castle sieges

i specifically want to watch a whole episode of that show about the trebuchet oh man if we if we were in the same room we'd be high-fiving so hard right now. Everything you can stream, CuriosityStream, you can do it all on your TV, phone, tablet, or computer. We got a deal for you. We got this thing. You know how streaming services are expensive? They're like $10 a month, $15 a month? Check this out. If you go to curiositystream.com slash JJ

Go or use code JJ Go to sign up, it's $14.99 for a whole year. That's not one month. That's a whole year of cool docs on all your devices. Curiositystream.com slash JJ Go, $14.99 for the whole year. Offer code JJ Go. It's genuinely cool. You should check it out. Probably at the end of that documentary about castle sieges is, they just go like, sadly, it would be hundreds of years before we would learn the information that could end any castle siege. If you go to curiositystream.com slash JJGo or use code JJGo to sign up, you pay only $14.99 for a whole year of

CuriosityStream. Pretty good, yeah. Why would these guys still be laying siege to a castle when they could be watching Nick Offerman docs? Sure. It's all on there. My friend Nick Offerman, Jordan's enemy. Man. I've just never met the guy. Maybe we could get along if we ever had to socialize.

He's a sweet guy, loves woodworking. Would find stuff to talk about. I did him a favor. He gave me a restaurant gift certificate as a thank you. That's nice. That's a class act. A little note. He sent this guy, sent me a little note.

Handwritten? Class act all the way, Nick Offerman. And we got a jumbotron. Oh, yeah. for ethan from amy it looks like yeah that's right it's for ethan it is from amy here's the message hi jj i guess that's us hi jj it's my two-year anniversary with my boyfriend and we just spent the night in the bass pro shops pyramid in memphis tennessee the 10th largest pyramid in the world, which also has live alligators. What the fuck?

These fucking rules. To be clear, it only contains a single Bass Pro Shop. It was unironically a cool experience, and I'm very glad I got to share it and my life with him. Wow. Congratulations on your anniversary. What I like about this Jumbotron is it's a double dip. It's both Amy congratulating Ethan and thanking him for their shared love

and a brag about Bass Pro Shops. Man, I wish I lived in Memphis, Tennessee. I could go to Kid Rock's restaurant. God, we'd be best friends with Justin Timberlake. Yeah. We'd live in a pyramid of bass would spend every friday night scarfing wings at kid rocks restaurant let me add them i'll eat them extra spicy just like kid rocks takes sure try the ball with the burger i'm sure he's got something like that on there oh hey guess what what uh i have a store

called the put this on shop we just launched so many new items in the put this on store our big fall launch and we're launching more new items every week all this month so go to put this on shop.com uh use the code little walk and you get free shipping on almost everything. LITTLEWALK. Good code. Good code. LITTLEWALK is the code. W-A-L-K.

Not W-O-K. A tiny. I mean, you got to have at least a medium-sized walker. Your stir fry is going to fall out. Yeah. I mean, you're making stir fry for one. Put this on shop.com. Okay.

Let's get back to the show. It's Jordan, Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Maddie Myers, intergalactic bounty hunter. Look out, mother brain. Yeah. Fucking Mike. Sorry.

I don't mean to bring up Mike again. I'm just so mad at Mike. I know. I should have said, I should have said, I should have said Balrog non-Maine. Because like, what the fuck am I even doing anymore? I'm going to go drill some Balrog after this. Right after this call ends. Drill some Balrog. He's a charged character.

Yeah. I don't know. He's intimidating. You know? He is. He's got those big gloves on. Like, what am I even doing with my life, you know? A lot of anti-air stuff.

Look how small these gloves I'm wearing are. Yep. Yep. Yep. We've all thought it. We've all thought it as we look down at our own hands. Look at these dumb things. I hate them. I hate these fucking things.

Fuck you, hands. They're really chafing my hide. Won't even keep my hands safe when I'm trying to punch the beast from Brazil or Chun-Li, who's a cop. And I don't remember if she has a fun catchphrase or not. I am the strongest woman in the world. Yes, duh. Of course.

She's the strongest woman in the world. How could I forget? Wait, is Chun-Li a cop? Yeah. Among other things, yeah. Man, now that sounds like something that would cause a lot of trouble on Tumblr. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Sure. You know, you would think, and yet the crossover for Street Fighter fandom and people who call out things on Tumblr is not wide. That's a really tiny, tiny overlap in the Venn diagram on that one. The famous acronym ACABECL, which is all cops are bad except Chun-Li. I don't think anybody is actually out there saying that. I think mostly people are forgetting chun li is a cop because she is a cop in a world where magic is real and also

there's like an international fighting ring where people who can use magic in a variety of fighting styles show up and kick each other's asses so it's like what is the police force in china really mean at that point are they still cracking down on hong k We don't know. We don't know what happens in this world. It's totally involved. Can I just want to stop down and say this is the best episode we've ever done? Amazing. I'm calling it.

I'm calling it. When something momentous happens to you, like you do the best episode you've ever done, give us a call, 206-9844-FUN, or send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org for our segment, Momentous Occasions. Here is one such occasion. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. This is Peter with Hannah in Little Chute, Wisconsin.

We are just getting home from our socially distant backyard wedding. It's helped. Today helped show me that some good things can still happen, even if we have to take many extra precautions. It's been an extremely tough year. But I'm glad that we are home. We are about to eat our Taco Bell we just picked up. And I guess the one other thing I wanted to say for the first time is I actually get to call her my wife.

They're drunk with love. Yeah, and chalupas well congrats congrats congratulations being married is very nice in my experience but that taco bell though what'd you get like yeah what's your order what did each of you get did you like can i say one thing though i do have one sort of safety concern about having a backyard wedding in these times. Yeah. I mean, it's good that everybody's socially distanced. That's great. I'm glad everything went smoothly.

I guess my concern is if you're getting married, having reception, going to Taco Bell, when are you taking a little fucking walk? Yeah. Yeah, when are you fitting in that walk? You have to. Because you've got to put on the dress. The government says you have to. First, you've got to say yes to the dress. Then you've got to put it on.

Right. Yep. Yep. And you're going to get a call from a local official who's concerned. Does that superintendent call involve a mention of the walk at all? Or does that not trickle down that far to the education board? Hi. This is Los Angeles School Superintendent Austin Buechner.

Schools are closed again this week because the world's on fire. Go for a little fucking walk or I'll tell the cops. I have Chun-Li's number. I'll call her. You tell her. She'll flip upside down and kick you a bunch of times.

Those lightning kicks. A little fucking walk. Ooh, that low high. You gotta watch out. I know the stretchy guy, too. He can punch you from the other side of the goddamn screen. Hold on, wait. Is Austin Buettner going to be a selectable character in the next Street Fighter DLC pack?

I don't know. I don't know. He's unlockable, Jordan. You can't just pay to get Buettner. Oh, you got to unlock him. You got to be good. Man. You know, it's been a while since they did that.

You pay, you get district attorney Jackie Lacey. But then you got to unlock Austin Buettner. That feels very symbolic. You know, you can pay to unlock politicians, but you can't pay for the Buttes. You got to unlock him the regular way. Just by being a good ass gamer. He's a civil servant. Yeah.

Makes sense. Makes sense. Can't be bought. Literally. This guy took a test capcom nerf butener capcom please nerf butener too powerful he's in balance i mean yeah thank you yes what is he for who cares you know

who cares you know say stuff yeah just name Street Fighter characters just name references say stuff from Street Fighter whatever what would you argue should be our new slogan

Capcom Nerf Butener or who cares who cares Capcom Nerf Butener. Or who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? I feel like who cares? Just say stuff was already the slogan though,

like before now, but I feel like who cares? Just say stuff could sort of coexist with Nerf Butener. Right. Just a healthy juxtaposition of concepts.'s take another call hey jordan jesse go this is will in chicago with a momentous occasion i am a brick collector uh and i recently received pause pause pause I have two hobbies collecting bricks and being a total fuck machine

collecting bricks and using rubbers but usually I just describe myself as a brick collector because the other thing it's just weird to start with so I just start off with the brick collector thing collecting bricks and laying pipe okay I don't want to put you two on the spot top three bricks well uh red red fuck you gotta go red already no you can we can have the same okay okay um

shale you know like a like a cool brick-laid encircling? You know what I mean? With some shale stones? Does that count? Sure. Sure. Okay. Okay.

Kind of flat. Those are flat. What do we call a cobblestone, a brick? Interesting. That's a big question. Is a cobblestone a brick? It's a question the Romans had, you know? You know, we're not afraid to take on this kind of important stuff on our program.

Right. We're not. And you know what? I think Mr. Brick Collector himself is going to get into it. And I can't wait to hear more. You know? I can't wait to hear more either. Capcom nerfed Buechner. Right.

Yes. Great point. Is a hot dog a sandwich? Is a cobblestone a brick? Should Buechner be nerfed? These are the questions of our times. How would a dog a sandwich? Is a cobblestone a brick? Should Buechner be nerfed? These are the questions of our times. How would a dog wear pants? Would it go over all four legs or just the back legs?

How would the dog wear pants? You know, bricks are often made of local materials. Interesting. They used to be made often on site. So I could see how there's a lot of different types of bricks to collect. Like, for example, if you made a brick in South Carolina, you might make it from the local red clay. But if you made a brick in Maine, you'd probably make it, of course, from lobster. You know, an early advocate of that kind of organic architecture, Frank Lloyd Wright.

Yeah. Yeah. Of lobsters? Okay, I'm just excited about this brick collection. If this is not about the brick collection, that was just a subterfuge. Oh, that's going to be very upsetting. Oh, it better be. If that was just a deke, press play, Brian.

Hey, Jordan, Jesse, go. This is Will in Chicago with a momentous occasion. A deke? Press play, Brian. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, go. This is Will in Chicago with a momentous occasion. I am a brick collector, and I recently received in the mail the brick I've been searching for the longest. Can you pause it for a second, Brian? I had a thought, which is, what if the line in the legendary Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five song the message was the brick collector

he rings my phone scares my wife when I'm not home what if just throwing it out there what if what if that'll keep you up at night

I think we'd be in a very different situation than we are right now that's so true nationally Brian press play but before you do send that idea into Marvel Comics for their classic series, What If. All right.

Hey, Jordan, Jesse, Go. This is Will in Chicago with a momentous occasion. I am a brick collector, and I recently received in the mail the brick I've been searching for the longest, which is a McFeely fire brick made in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. These bricks were made by Mr. Rogers' grandparents. Mr. Rogers is a longtime hero of mine, and I finally found someone who was willing to trade for it, and so someone in western Pennsylvania mailed me a brick in the mail and now I have that McFeely

fire brick above my desk because I love it so much. Alright, thanks so much. Bye. Wow. Nothing says the legacy of Mr. Rogers like a particular brick. You know, something stuck out to me in that call. He said trade, which suggests

you can't purchase the brick and that you need to. He had to trade a Captain Kangaroo brick to get that thing. I just, I don't know. I'm enjoying envisioning this elaborate brick bartering system that none of us are aware of, since we didn't know about the world of brick collecting prior to now. But you got to trade a brick to get get a brick or perhaps you trade something else perhaps you just trade a fox skin you found i don't know i don't know i don't know commodities are an insider's game you got to know the lingo yeah you got to buy brick futures in order to really

capitalize on the market that's that's how it works now this guy and whoever traded him the brick, they are on a wild subreddit. They are on a fucking wild subreddit. Slash R slash thick as a brick. Yeah. I wonder if it's a judgmental one. If it's like, oh, yeah, you think that's a McFeely brick or whatever? That's not. That's a very clever hoax, sir. And it's clear if you look at the grain on that sand.

You think that's a McFeely? Hilarious. Hilarious that you think that. Filthy casual. Yeah. Filthy brick casual. You guys ever watch that BBC countdown show, Pick of the Bricks? Yeah, we all have.

We've all seen that. We all have. We all grew up with that. McFeely actually peaked it at number three uk much more famous in the uk than in america yeah let's take a quick break we'll be back in just a second on jordan jessica hello there ghouls and gals. It is I, April Wolf. I'm here to take you through the twisty, scary, heart-pounding world of genre cinema

on the exhilarating program known as Switchblade Sisters. The concept is simple. I invite a female filmmaker on each week and we discuss their favorite genre film. Listen in closely to hear past guests like the Babadook director Jennifer Kent, Winter's Bone director Debra Granik, and so many others every Thursday on MaximumFun.org. Tune in if you dare. It's actually a very thought-provoking show that

deeply explores the craft and philosophy behind the filmmaking process while also examining film through the lens of the female gaze. So, like, you should listen. Switchblade sisters. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Welcome back to Fireside Chat on KMAX. With me in studio to take your calls is the dopest duo on the West Coast, Oliver Wong and Morgan Rhodes. Go ahead, caller.

Hey, I'm looking for a music podcast that's insightful and thoughtful, but also helps me discover artists and albums that I've never heard of. Yeah, man, sounds like you need to listen to Heat Rocks. Every week, myself and I'm Morgan Rhodes and my co-host here, Oliver Wong, talk to influential guests about a canonical album that has changed their lives.

Guests like Moby, Open Mic Eagle, talk about albums by Prince, Joni Mitchell, and so much more. Yo, what's that show called again? He rocks deep dives into hot records. Every Thursday on Maximum Fun. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Maddie Myers. Didn't pick Balrog. Don't know why not. Just didn't. I thought about it. Yeah. Which do you main? Monitor or Mary Mac?

Buechner. Buechner. Yeah. I've decided to just only switch to high tier characters Monitor or Mary Mac? Butener. Butener. Yeah. I've decided to just only switch to high tier characters because I just want to win. And so I go with the Butes every time. I just lock and load. Butener's overpowered because of the dive kick. That's Sunday night dive kick, they call it.

Sunday fun day. That's what Jordan calls it on his stream every week. It's Sundays with butener diving in diving in that voicemail here it comes he's got a phone in his hand watch out trump butener's here with his voicemails you've heard of her emails get ready for butener's voicemails folks hey this is why i host a video game show and not a political one i don't have any material but jordan does check out the switch stream yeah i didn't just say i check out this trump guy i don't really have anything else i don't have anything else to say what else is there to say am i right you know i guess i can maybe like open my laptop and have john oliver playing in the background or something oh yeah it'd be good that guy's pretty good job of

like giving you some facts, but also being great writers on that. A lot of times on Facebook, I like to share the Borowitz Report. Sure. Okay. Because this guy, it's like, look out, Mr. Trump.

Here comes the creator of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. You know what I mean? The creator of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. You know what I mean? The creator of Carlton. This guy invented Carlton. What did you invent, Donald Trump? Having a bad haircut? Thank you. President Orange Peel.

All right, settle down. Oh, come on, man. Ooh, getting spicy, spicy. What is this guy? A president or a tangerine? Some kind of Cheeto? I don't know. That's what they call him.

What is he? Covered in Cheeto dust from eating too many Cheetos? Probably puts ketchup on his Cheetos. Am I right? Yeah. Man, we don't care whose toes we step on on this show. Although, I will say this. Jordan, don't ever say anything bad about Bill Bradley.

I won't. My former senator and presidential candidate Bill Bradley is a sacred cow. Yeah. Because we don't respect Bradley. What's he up to now? Anything? Being dead. Okay. Yeah. See, that's how disrespectful I am. I don't respect Bradley now. Anything? Being dead. Okay.

Yeah, see, that's how disrespectful I am. I don't even know. That tarnishes memory. Don't know anything about him, so I can't respect or disrespect him. Just a neutral sitch on my end there. That was back when presidential candidates had what it really takes, height.

When they were very, very tall. Right, because it's all about spacing. I mean, we've gone over this. Thank you. Yes, it's all about spacing. It's all about reach. Whether it's Street Fighter, running for president, or playing for the New York Knicks. These things are all the same.

They are. They're identical. Or being an astronaut. that too you do have to be the right height for that that is a whole thing and you have to not throw up is there an astronaut height i didn't know that i think so maybe that's just an urban legend but i i'd always heard that i mean i could never be an astronaut because i get motion sick but i also don't think i'm tall. I think that's also something that would play a role for me. I feel like, you know how you have to be really good at math and sit-ups and everything to be an astronaut?

Yeah, I wouldn't even get there. What with the nausea and the lack of height sort of impeding my progress. But then I'd need to be good at math as well. True. I feel like that's on NASA. They should have some people who are good at math. Right. And then I can be an astronaut.

They have a phone on the spaceship. Yeah. Like, if I'm like, oh, fuck, I can't remember how to apply the quadratic equation, I could call and be like, hey, you guys got any math people over there? What are they going to say? No? Get somebody with a calculator, some type of graphing calculator on the phone. Get them on there and then have them chart something for me. And then I'm good.

I'm good to get to the space station or whatever. I don't know how they have that. You know how they have that guitar astronaut? Let's send Carlos Santana to space. Oh, yeah. That guy can shred. He's way better at guitar. The only thing that's holding him back

is he's not that good at math. Yeah. He may or may not be the right height, but you make a suit for Santana. That's what people are saying now. Also, I hear he won't go unless Rob Thomas goes. Well, duh. But I think that's gorgeous. Let's send him. Well, duh. But that guy's gorgeous.

Let's send him. That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. Get him up there. These aliens are going to be too busy falling in love to invade America. Sure. Also, that's not even a consideration. They see Rob Thomas' gorgeous puss.

Like, Rob Thomas is already good at math. That's why Jesse wasn't bringing him up. Like, he's already going up there. It's Santana who we need to find the special considerations for because yeah he's he's more of an English guy you know he was a little more on the yeah I mean there's just different kinds of learners you know that's so true different people are good at different things we value different skills Joe Satriani's strength is organic chemistry somebody's gonna write in and be like, you know, Santana actually published several

papers on organic chemistry, and we're going to be like, fuck! But no one's going to do that. No Jordan Jesse Go listener would ever do that to us. And I'm saying us because I'm part of this now. Yeah. You're canonical, Maddie.

I am. I am. Well, look, we've wasted far too much of our listeners' time. Overall, 10 years in your case, Maddie. Hey, loving it. Loving it. Finally made it onto the show. Life goal achieved. Don't have to do anything else.

Just going to pack it in from now on. Yeah. Hey, just play video games the rest of your life. Let's all pack it in. Why don't we all pack it in? Just get a straight up chill all you know what the rest of your life let's all pack it in straight up chill you know yeah there's a fucking slogan just vibe you know we got a vibe oh i've been meaning to vibe yeah well you can now you can now because i have achieved my life goal and i pass that sense of peace on to the both of you because it's like you achieved it with me this is really nice i'm really enjoying how about jordan jesse go colon mission accomplished we did it finally somebody had to and we did jordan jesse go colon we did it i We did it. Sold. We sure did. Sold. Our producer is

Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. You can find us on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris at Jesse Thorne at Middie Myers, M-I-D-I. That's right.

Which is a, that's a type of computer tunes. It is, yeah. That's why I picked it. My best friend Jody's dad, Andy, had that on his amiga cool yeah musical

instrument digital interface you know what i mean he also had that game loom oh yeah okay cool yeah classic lucas arts game yeah yeah for the amiga uh maddie i i really enjoyed triple click it's a great show it's good i um i as. As a guy who likes video games, I have found it nigh impossible to find a video game podcast where the hosts are also funny, smart, and friends.

And Triple Click is that. And it's so cool that it exists. You guys are such a great group, and you have smart, funny things to say about video games. It's really cool. Well, thank you. It's just going to creep me out a little bit

that Jordan Morris listens to my podcast, and I'm going to sit with that feeling forever. That's weird. Maybe you should stop. Like, I don't know. It seems a little strange to me. I listen to your podcast. Did you not?

No, that's true. It is. It's rude of me. It's rude of me to listen to your podcast. Yeah, I don't know. You can keep listening to it if you want. Other people should. I think it's true. It is. It's rude of me. It's rude of me to listen to your podcast. Yeah, I don't know. You can keep listening to it if you want. Other people should. I think it's a pretty fun show. Okay. If you're out there and you're not Jordan, listen to Triple Click. Please. Please do. Please. I'll just listen to the besties then. Thank you very much. That show's pretty good too. I'm friends with those guys.

That's a good show. That's a very funny show. But you know, Triple Click's cool too. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. If you've got a correction for us, don't worry. We care about quality just as much as you do. Tweet it at JDPower

on Twitter. Hashtag your tweets, JJGo. Find us on Facebook, on Reddit. We're at MaximumFun.reddit.com. Always a lively discussion of a Jordan Jesse Go episode over on that Reddit. I would say the Maximum Fun subreddit is probably the second best subreddit overall after magnet fishing. Right. And thick as a brick, of course.

Thick as a brick. The brick collector's red. Gonna be checking that one out for some spicy debates. B-R-I-C-C. Oh, no. T-H-I-C-C as a B-R-I-C-C. Uh-huh. Do you think he's like building a wall?

Oh, no. No, I think he just likes them. And he puts them above his desk. I mean, he clearly doesn't live in California where there's,'s uh you know earthquake danger it's probably right somewhere a little more stable on your desk is uh could be could be a dicey proposition in some places oh sure yeah do you think he's let me ask you this do you think he's a fan of the band brick or the song brick by ben fulton yeah ain't gonna hurt nobody. That's a jam. That's a jam.

That's a take home for Jordan, Jesse, Go listeners. Just go listen to the band Brick. Brick got it. That's what's up. Plus, one of the dudes from the Dungeon Family's dad was in Brick. These are great facts. Yeah. Great.

And Brick fans love them. By which I mean fans of the band brick fans of bricks that venn diagram is a perfect circle bricks bricks all the way down slash r slash thick as a brick thick as a brick ain't gonna hurt nobody okay uh i think we've done everything we need to do here we've covered all the bases we'll talk to you next time on jordan jesse go maximumfund.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported