Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 657: Seductive and Sanitized with Freddie Wong

Episode Date: October 8, 2020

Freddie Wong (Story Break podcast, RocketJump) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the government-sanctioned glory holes in Vancouver, James Cameron's deal with the devil at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, and Freddie's run as a professional Guitar Hero champion. 

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris. Welcome home, Jesse. Wait a minute. Thank you. First of all, thank you. Welcome home, listeners. Welcome home, people who are in the room with listeners but aren't really paying attention. Welcome home.

Sure. Welcome home. Can I ask what leads you to welcome everyone home? Well, I mean, I think a couple weeks ago on the podcast, you know i got kind of into the idea of of places and events that when you arrive at them people say welcome home because they kind of represent something you know like they represent a kind of a home away from home or like a you know a place where you can you know kind of be with your true family right and And the places I have experienced this in the past are Burning Man, the Magic Castle. Jumbo's Clown Room.

Well, I wish. They now say, please leave. You're not welcome back here. And then very recently I discovered that this welcome home is now written on the door of Carl's Jr. Whoa. Because apparently there are some people

who have built their identity around really good criss-cut fries. Oh, the criss-cut fries are good. Yeah, they are good. Better than the regular fries, which are also pretty good. Our guest, our guest on the program. Carl's Jr. Enthusiast.

Is one of the hosts of Maximum Fun's own story break and an accomplished filmmaker with the rocket jump, Freddie Wong. Hi, Freddie. Hello. Welcome. Me. Can we talk about Carl's Jr. for a a second i mean i guess we are when you're there your family yeah i have now i i have there's a couple of places i would love to insert freddie into the conversation um i do have it i have a i have an

updated list of places that say welcome home, thanks to one of our fans on Twitter. But I will ask Freddie, A, what do you think of Carl's Jr.? B, do you consider it home? But also, on this list is the Magic Castle, a magic society to which you are a member. I am, yes. Anyway.

As an amateur magician of some repute. We should explain that east of the Rockies, the magic castle is known as Hardee's. Right. Brilliant.

Brilliant. First, okay, so the answer to the question is in that order. Number one, Carl's Jr., underrated, underappreciated,

oftentimes missing from the big old burger roundups when people are putting their tiered lists. Sure. In-N-Out, Shake Shack. But you think Carl's Jr. is up there with... I think the $6 burger can swing with the best of them. Okay. A contender. The rope-a-dope of burgers, if you will.

It pushes you into the rope-a-dope of burgers if you will it pushes you into the into the ropes right and and pummels you into submission and wears you out over the course of eating it right the rumble in my tumble how i say exactly yes to make that rhyme and track yes yes uh and uh the magic castle which which by the way this year, seeing some hard times. Yeah. The old Magic Castle. You may not be surprised to learn that in-person magic performance is fairly low on the essential workers list.

I'm a gog. Well, the governor signed that list allowing for card tricks. They did. It was three-card Montys and Matrix effects. Weirdly, very specific. Clearly, the governor, a fan of various magic accoutrement. But yeah, I will say this. I have some friends from my time exploring and delving into the world of magic and just hearing from them. You wouldn't believe it. Zoom Magic is a thing that has become a thing now. I have a friend who's about to release some tricks to the community for a price,

and it's his collection of Zoom-based effects for webcams and FaceTime calls. Right. So you can maybe do something like, oh, you know, it looks like I'm in my living room, but with a snap of my fingers, I'm in Rio de Janeiro. All of a sudden, a lot of the David Copperfield effects seem less impressive, right? My neighbor, who is the father of one of my six-year-old's best buddies, is a film composer. He's a very accomplished film composer has composed for numerous notable films and um he recently sort of like took a left turn from his career writing music for commercials with one of the guys from nine Inch Nails who's not Trent Reznor into doing magic. And I've gone to the magic castle.

Oh, my goodness. Yes. With him and our respective sons. But I can't bring myself to tell this nice man whose child is wonderful. His wife is wonderful. Our children are good pals, and he's a very bright, interesting man that I have nothing but contempt for magic.

Can we get into, have you ever gotten into this? Because you've said this to me once. I remember we were in San Francisco and I had a deck of cards on me and the first thing out of your mouth was, oh, I hate magic. You're not going to do a magic trick, are you? I'm sure we've discussed this on

jordan jesse go but the basic the freddy first of all i love you i want you to know that uh number two as you hate the game not the player exactly i resent the idea that i would pay someone to trick me. Hate the conjured, not the conjurer. You hate that which he conjures. Yeah, I think Doug Henning has a shirt with that on it. Doug Henning really made me laugh. That was a great magician pull. That was so much better than uh i don't know david

copperfield doug henning's the uh the thinking man's magician right the thinking man's pop magician um i don't hate i i don't like the i don't like tricky stuff so feats extraordinary feats are moderately interesting to me. Like I like the idea of, of Ricky J throwing a playing card into a watermelon, which I did see him do once. It was great. But it's the trick part that I don't like. I don't like being tricked.

No, that's fair. That's fair. I do like a corny comedy magician where the tricks are good ones, where the tricks are only like just good enough to carry the the patter that's been the same for 40 years yes oh and by the way bonus points if the pattern makes like really dated references or definitely comes from a perspective of it's like women are less people like there's sometimes you see that still

and with some of these magicians we're just like yo that's kind of jacked up that's a weird jacked up thing to say everyone everybody in the audience is looking at each other like this is a little bit uncomfortable and yet they just push on and the coins keep a rolling and the cards keep a flipping and it's like gotta update it my man it'll yeah it'll be like it'll be like a guy who you know he's like oh does anybody have a dollar bill? And he's like, you know, hand that to me before your wife can take it shoe shopping. You know, it's like that kind of light 1987 sexism. And you're like, did this even work back then?

When Jordan and I went to the Magic Castle together, it was to see our friend and past Jordan Jesse Go guest, Matt Ricardo, who's sort of a, he's a magician, but more of a cabaret performer, I would say. Yeah. Generally speaking. And one of the acts that was on the same bill as Matt was one of these comedy magician guys. He was probably 65 years old and was very Fred Willard-esque, but without the irony. But I found the act very charming. I really enjoyed it. And one of the things that I noticed about his act was that there were definitely parts that used to be racist or ableist, and he had just covered them up by changing all the verbs to people from Alabama.

I'm like, it's not just because... The only group it's still okay to take shots at. I guess. It made me very uncomfortable. The Magic Castle, by the way, may be some of the most fascinating crowd and performer conflicts I've ever witnessed in my life and as somebody who loves you know live performance and you know a well put together act some of these were like i was almost standing in my seat like i can't believe i get to witness this tonight one in particular

was there was uh you know a magician who was doing kind of a comedy bit where you know it was it was a a series of repartees with a particular audience member and you know he would he would do something like oh would you let me borrow a dollar bill and if the person does so he is like yeah well what a sucker you know essentially kind of that's the the back and forth the back the sort of repartee now this gentleman in the audience refused to be had by this magician like it was like can i borrow it's like you have a wallet like you know pulls out the wall and he made the joke everyone laughed and then from that point on this guy would not go along with it at all like you'd be like yeah you get a dollar and he goes like nah and it would stand there and you would think you'd be like okay

well you know this is uncomfortable let's well, you know, this is uncomfortable. Let's, you know, the performer should, you know, okay, you know, gently let this person down, move on to another person, keep the act flowing. But it became this fight, this contest of wills between two old men. And he, because he refused. He refused to back down. Like, he would be like, come on, let's go, let's do it. Come on up on stage.

The guy's like, no. And he would go into the audience and then you had people were so uncomfortable that you had people throughout the entire room screaming at these guys being like just give them the just give them the bill like just play along like it was so and i was sitting there just i was wide-eyed i was so happy you can't win a magic show. You cannot win a magic show. These are members of some of the groups, old men, drunk people, people who've spent thousands of hours

memorizing card tricks who are best known for their flexibility. A wonderful thing. The other thing is also, sometimes you'll get a, you know the magic castle will do acts that are you know not just in the realm of you know conjuring and magic but also you know juggling some of the sort of more vaudeville sort of things and if someone's a juggler and they're up there with a magician you know they're good because everyone thumbs right in the in the world of magic place called the Castle. It's not the juggling corner.

So if a juggler's showing up, you know that that person rules. So anytime, I always say that, like, when I look ahead, I'm like, if anytime it's like a juggler or someone doing kind of a little more of an off-kilter act, I'm like, you must go see that

because there's no way they would let them on stage unless they were completely awesome at it. So we were discussing the concept of Welcome Home on a past show, and a Twitter user got in touch with me, someone who listens to the show, I believe. This is from a Twitter user, at Fiercely Trans. Has anyone mentioned the Desire Resort and Spa in Mexico, a nudist slash swinger resort says welcome home when you arrive uh they had not mentioned that but i am delighted to add that to the list of places that says welcome home the desire uh resort and spa and yes freddie you have a question

i just wanted to look up some of the like online reviews to see how they obliquely referred to all of this well freddie i'm i'm a couple steps ahead of you oh thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you yes i immediately became fascinated with the idea that this place is having to cope with the pandemic. I mean, we think about the places that have been hard hit by this, you know. Right. You know, bars, restaurants, you know, beauty salons, places like that. Close-up magic venues.

Yes, close-up and juggling corners. Yeah. close-up juggling corners yeah um uh but i mean i i don't think i've seen any news coverage on how um clothing optional couples only resorts and spas are handling this right um so i surfed over to their website and this is just kind of from their home page just to so people know we're working with world-class luxury and spectacular spaces create the perfect combination of relaxation and fantasy with breathtaking views of extraordinary destinations both land and sea our clothing optional concept hold on yes yeah just so you have a question sorry this is a question for both of you guys. What are your top three sea destinations?

I'm going to go Lost City of Atlantis. That's my number one. Oh, Atlantis. Top one, top one for sure. I mean, Marianas Trench. Come on. Grand Canyon. The Trench, you know? I see the pictures of it, but when you go in person, it's just as amazing. It is, absolutely. I propose to my wife at the bottom of the Marianas Trench. pictures of it but when you go in person it's just as amazing right it is absolutely i propose to my wife at the bottom of the marianas trench bermuda triangle would you say is that number

three you know the bermuda triangle is overrated i just gotta say it's overrated smaller smaller smaller than you think you know um our clothing optional concept offers intimate, exclusive spaces to meet new couples and participate in the inexhaustible game of seduction. Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm exhausted already, to be honest. No. So, I'm surfing around the site, and they have a pop-up called Seductive and Sanitized, Safety Protocols for Healthy Seduction. No!

I surfed over to this page, and here's some of the preventative measures they're taking at the desire resort. Continuous and effective disinfection of in-room surfaces and air conditioners. That's good. That's a good step. Constant disinfection of high contact areas every 30 minutes. Every 30 minutes? Wow, okay. That's awesome.

Maybe something with HEPA. It'd be nice if something had HEPA. What's that? You know what I'm talking about, HEPA. I don't know a HEPA. Like an air filter. Yeah, it's a type of air filter. Oh.

Our, and this is in capitals, our germ patrol will be offering antibacterial gel to guests on a regular basis. No, oh no, no. So if you're boning down with another open-minded couple, you do not have to worry because the germ patrol will be by to spray you with gel. I'd like to swing while doused in antibacterial gel. Yeah, there's a tingle.

There's a little tingle there that I imagine would make the whole experience even more erotic. Yeah, it's a little something extra. And then I think this is easily the best thing that they're doing for safety, I think, in my opinion. We have changed our buffets for a la carte menu. So. I don't know. I kind of feel like are you really even at desire if you're not eating at the buffet? Yeah, I know.

They're known for their buffets. The Bacchanalian buffets. I mean, the king crab legs. phase i mean the the king crab legs just you know seeing a gray bearded goatee droop into a steam tray filled with fried clam strips a sunday bar is inexhaustible as the art of seduction right this this reminds me a little bit did you did you see the Vancouver, BC endorsement of safe sex, COVID-19 safe sex methodologies? I don't believe I have. hey here's um safe sex methods please avoid you know kissing face-to-face positions and then specifically calling out and endorsing glory holes as safer what not kidding wow dude vancouver rules it's got dave and graham and government glory holes exactly So you know that the circumference has been measured.

An artisan has punched the hole. Lots of places for mountain biking. The BC Centers for Disease Control suggests that residents, quote, use barriers like walls, for example, glory holes, that allow for sexual contact but prevent close face-to-face contact. That's just being smart. Now I get why everybody in America is all, I'm moving to Canada. I get it now. I get it. I didn't quite understand it before. Wow. If your kids have moved out of the house, you know, let's say you're, you know, you're a fit, attractive 44 year old couple.

Your kids just moved out of the house. They're off to college. You're changing the third bedroom into a fuck room. I think a lot of people would think, well, let's put in one of those swings. Some people might say, let's put in a stocks or some other kind of. A stock and pillory. Like for that medieval that medieval action sure sure that that village that village flogging action maybe like a round

sunken bed you know you put mirrors on the ceiling mirrors mirrors yeah sure sure in the age of covid why not throw in a plexiglass barrier with a hole in it? Right. I would say go the extra step. Do the production. You're already laying down cash for production design here. Why not throw in a prop toilet and a stall divider? Oh, making it actually look like a seedy bathroom. Yeah, like get the graffiti on the walls. If you want the full experience, don't half-ass it go fully assed in right

right get the get the total the total like rest stop feel yes yes exactly i think that's fun i think that's yeah i mean i think that's probably probably something that's going on you know more than we realize because maybe it's not all over social media i mean people talk about you know the kind of pandemic hobbies puzzles baking bread starting magic tricks magic tricks but i mean i think art directed fuck rooms are probably way more common than than we know they're gonna be the new escape rooms i'm telling you right now they're going to be the new escape rooms right heavily themed i'd love to have i'd love to have a really good production like i don't know who is the person who did grand

budapest hotel production design wise but that's who's designing my fuck area i want a lot of pastels i want a lot of that tiffany blue what's more erotic than a wes anderson movie top of my list of erotic directors yes when you think pure sex pure sex just raw dripping sexuality. Wes Anderson, absolutely. The Criterion. Ooh, those fonts and the symmetry. Gets me so hard. You know what the thing is, though? I think for Wes Anderson, though, like for him, just saying, that's why movies work.

Yeah. I mean, there is a fetishist level of detail. Yeah. The man just loves those little music boxes. At the end of the day, we all know that if Wes Anderson could, he'd fuck a clay dog. And you can in Vancouver, because apparently it's safer. Speaking of well-production designed out and finding the production designer for your Wes Anderson-themed symmetrical fuck room. Are you guys?

Okay, hold on. Before we continue. You know, Freddie, I'll follow up in a second. Sorry, I interrupted. Are you as disappointed as I am at how poorly billionaires spend their money? Oh, yeah. Oh, money oh yeah billionaires just they fuck it up so so so so consistently they fuck it up they just go and buy the clippers or whatever yeah like but there's so many more insane things that you could do that they aren't doing that it

it pisses me off it pisses me off to the point, like, for example, to speak of movies, right? Everyone knows the first Matrix, great movie. Second and third Matrix, not that good. If I was a billionaire, I would just be like, listen, I'm hiring Keanu Reeves. I'm hiring Lawrence Fishburne. I'm doing Matrix 2 and 3 just for me. Remaking them. Just for me and my friends.

That's it. They'll be, did you hear? Like, Freddy, there's two more Matrix movies that he just made, and no one gets to watch them. That's the level that I want from crazy billionaires. Could you imagine? It's like, yo, you want to come over? You want to watch Matrix 2 and 3? Yeah, no, no, no.

The remakes, the ones where I paid everyone involved in the first one to do it for me. They don't lean into the philosophy stuff as hard. So it's a little more fun to watch. It's a little more... I mean, it's there. It's kind of an undercurrent. I didn't get rid of it entirely, but you don't lean on it so hard. You gave a lot more lines to Cornel West.

You know, I don't know if you know this about me, Freddie, but thanks to my ownership of the audience-supported podcast network, MaximumFun.org, I myself have become a billionaire. Oh, really? Congratulations. I'm responsible for the new Bill and Ted movie. That was nice of you to let everybody

watch it. That was my number one priority. I'm a community-minded madman. That's good. Hey, speaking of, this is actually a pretty fantastic segue to something that I wanted to ask Freddie about. Okay. Because you're here and I know you have a certain interest, I wanted to revive an old segment.

Oh, wow. Okay. I wanted to revive an old segment. Oh, wow. Okay. This is an older segment. And usually, you know, we don't go back to the well that often, but I think that this is a special notification. For the well, she is dry. Right.

Was there water to begin with? A thousand times no. Some would say no. thousand times no some would say no but i wanted to revive a segment where i uh read off the names of the avatar sequels and ask the guest which one they're most excited for oh yeah this is a great segment a lot of fun we uh started this a couple years ago and they announced the names of the avatar sequels um actually this article i'm looking on 2018 oh what a year now hold on jordan let's just check in with freddie real quick yes um how do you feel about uh the film avatar fucking love it wow love it did you see it love it i've yeah it was

fantastic and i don't know where everybody i don't. It's become cool and hip to hate on Avatar, to thumb your nose at James Cameron's cinematic achievement. Let me say that again. Cinematic achievement. This is how I know Avatar worked as a movie. My mom, who hates sci-fi, like she hates Star Wars, Star Trek, just cannot get into it at all on top of that hates 3d could not get into any of that crap we went to see avatar as a family her glasses were

caused her about 20 minutes in to go into the lobby throw up into a trash bin and then take the glasses off she returned because there's nothing else to watch she definitely looked she sat there sat through the rest of the movie blurry because again when you watch a 3d movie without the glasses it's just a double vision blurry nightmare when we came out like what she's just like i thought that was pretty good she actually thought it was pretty good she does not mince words when it comes to movies she was like yeah it's pretty good pretty good that if you if a movie can make you throw up and be blurry the entire time and it still kind of works there's something working in that movie that's all i'm saying she might have been just watching true lies true lies is pretty good

true lies is a good tom arnold's funny it's a little racist but besides that it's a fun movie abyss that's another pretty good james cameron movie yeah it's real how does your mom feel about the abyss she you know what i don't think she wouldn't i think i'm trying to think of like That's another pretty good James Cameron movie. Yeah. It's real. How does your mom feel about The Abyss? You know what? I don't think she would. I'm trying to think of other James. I don't even think she's seen Terminator. Yeah, yeah.

Did she go see any of those science museum documentaries? Oh, no, no, no. She hates going. Again, if it's the moment. Growing up, we had an IMAX theater. Before they were cinematic destinations destinations they were science center like go come watch the thing on volcanoes yeah yeah something yeah some helicopter footage of the grand canyon exactly yeah there's one of those at hearst castle where you can watch somebody

take off in an old-timey airplane that's oh that's very cool um who needs tenant pacific science center by the way so that was the one up in seattle and we would always go big oh let's see an imax which is like no no thanks too much even that too much yeah it's ready i'm gonna read the name of the sequels if you don't know already you tell us which one you're more excited for and why yes yes avatar the way of water Avatar, The Way of Water. Avatar, The Seed Bearer. Avatar, The Tolkien Rider. Excuse me, The Tolkien Rider. Avatar, The Quest for Iwa.

So those are the four Avatar sequels. Just give you minutes to process and then... By the way, Tolkien's Rider was... He wanted some mead and some of that Hobbit marijuana. And nine breakfasts. I was joking about this the other day. I was like, you ever wonder what would have happened if... Because, like, Lord of the Rings was written by, you know,

this World War I soldier who had to endure world war one from the british point of view not an awesome american soldier who we we came over and ruled both of those wars could you imagine what how different how different lord of the rings would be if it was an american gi being like time to write about my experience rolling in and kicking ass yeah like if it had been written by Ted Williams, the Splendid Splinter. It's just, yeah, the American Lord of the Rings is just from the Balrog's perspective. Exactly.

Listen, Avatar the Seed Bearer is going to change the landscape of cinema forever. It's going to be... Wow, so that's the third one, Avatar 3. The third one. Yep, yep. The Empire Strikes back of the series if you will okay uh it's gonna be like citizen kane you're gonna look at cinema pre-citizen kane

as you know a bunch of trains pulling into train stations and garbage horse shit and the birth of a new genre afterwards uh i'm looking forward to the seed bearer because there's a couple of things in here. Number one, it's, it, I, it, it's going to imply, it implies to me a step away from, it sounds like the second one's going to be like a bunch of underwater stuff, which is again, Avatar's already basically a bunch of underwater stuff, which is, I think the secret of James Cameron is that secretly he's really, he's not a filmmaker. He's really just an underwater nerd who is filmmaking as a way to finance. He's a submarine fan. He's really just an underwater nerd who is filmmaking as a way to finance. He's a submarine fan. He's a submarine fan.

Yeah. Sort of like Howard Hoxian in that way was like secretly doesn't care about movies. He just wants to fly airplanes. Like, nah, James Cameron just wants to explore the water. The Seed Bearer is going to represent a step away from the water theme. And it feels like we're going to get into kind of these elemental sort of earth vibes. I was going to say pornography. Oh, the meme potential

is just going to get more people in theaters. Like, I'm all for it. He has the PT Barnum-esque understanding of a good sexy title you can make fun of, gets asses in seats. Sure. How old is James Cameron? I bet he's in his 60s.

Let's see. This is an easy Google. 1954, 66 years old. Wow. 66 years. Cool. James Cameron. Still vital.

The Abyss. And I guess they're making the... I mean, I think he knows he's in his twilight years. That's, I think, maybe why they're making the he's i mean i think he you know he knows he's in his twilight years that's why i think maybe why they're making those all back to back you know because they don't want to lose him yeah you can't make one of those without cameron are you kidding it's crazy have you seen his um have you seen his matte painting work no really so that was how he started so this is what's crazy about james cameras how he started was he was like a traditional matte painter so he did matte paintings on Escape from New York and they're fantastic and also like for example in

Titanic when you know uh Leo's drawing Kate Winslet the close-ups it's that's a James Cameron drawing it's just him applying his you know to the art trade uh which is just always a fun little little piece of trivia about everyone everyone knows him as you know uh the art trade uh which is just always a fun little little piece of trivia about everyone everyone knows him as you know a legendary underwater explorer creator of cinematic classics but also a damn good painter yeah i mean you watch avatar and you think to yourself Someone who really put a lot of different art into this made it. Like blue dots of things. Tail heads. Fuckable cat people.

Blinkies. Everything. Soup to nuts. Freddie, do you know what Eowa is i i don't i was i want to get as a bigger avatar fan i was maybe thinking maybe you knew what what you what you what you were was it's a female sheep oh i believe iowa is the it's like the the god of the world like kind of a gaia esque sort of entity shit and and by the way I know a little bit more about Avatar than you'd expect because when I graduated, I took a job with 20th Century Fox

in the licensed video game department. So this is something not a lot of people know about, sort of the specifics of what I did there. We were making movie tie-in games, and this was right before the first Avatar came out. So we were working on the avatar tie-in video game it was going to when it came out it was one of the first video games to be a 3d video game for 3d enabled tvs at that time which is a very new thing this freddy was avoid the noise

a sequel to it actually um got it but what was crazy was the environment at fox at that time every person there was convinced that there was the end of the company like they everyone was marching forward as if like okay we're gonna put this out it's gonna be great but not nobody had any idea really what was going on with the movie that i remember very specifically a meeting that my boss pulled me into just because he was like, you have to see this just to understand how crazy this movie is. It was department heads from all over the studio and they were talking to McDonald's to decide what the toys were because McDonald's will decide their toys for their Happy Meals a year in advance because of the amount of production that it takes to just churn out all that plastic.

So this was a year before the movie was coming out. They were like, okay, so this is based on some of the designs that we have. We're gonna do an Avatar sort of themed Happy Meal. And at some point someone said, the movie is coming out, right? This has been delayed a few times already. And the only response to that, the response I can only describe was nervous laughter

as like, yeah, hope so. Like nobody had any confidence in it. It was just wild to think that everyone was like, well, I hope this movie comes out. Otherwise, all this crazy money we're spending with McDonald's is just going to go to complete waste. And I'll be out of a job. Oh, well. I don't think you need a movie to appreciate a small toy of a fuckable cat person. Of a fuckable cat person.

Listen, Garfield's known that since the beginning. Jim Davis has been on that from the 80s. Yes, Daddy Thick. The original, the original Thick Daddy. Yes, treat me like Monday, Daddy. How close are we to Avatar 2, 3, and 4 hitting movie theaters? 2 was 2021, I thought, thought right it was next year like christmas time the ultimate gift when did it happen the ultimate avatar the ultimate gift

when did avatar one come out what was that eight years ago 2009 more than eight years ago over a decade at this point because we were working on that game in 2008 and so 2009 that that was uh yep wow wild you know what something that's been lost over time is i remember there was all these reports of there was a similar titanic-esque effect where people were like going to re-watch the movie over and over again do you remember hearing these news stories oh that like the idea was that people people wanted to be in be in avatar they wanted to like live in avatar so they there was like they had like a fantasy life where they lived in avatar yeah isn't that's just could you imagine if tenant had that going for it you know i mean right you just there's that that sort of like movie fanaticism it happens rarely now you see me oh i want to live in the world of now you see me oh if only i can manipulate cardistry yes

if only i could hide my card my card shape props from security officers what a great sequence fantastic um yeah like i just feel like movies don't inspire that level of passion anymore you know i i you know i i think even you know even i think that you're we're going to look Yeah, like, I just feel like movies don't inspire that level of passion anymore. You know, I think even, you know, even I think that we're going to look back at this era as the era of Marvel and these big franchise superhero movies and these gigantic tentpoles. In the same way, we look broadly at like the 50s as like musicals. And then there was like the decade of like monster movies and sort of that sort of thing as just like the broad brush that this time period gets painted with. But like, I just don't think that there's that weird, that sort of finesse.

Although I guess some, I guess, you know, I think Endgame had a little bit of that, but that was such a, to me, such a depressing slog. I want to see Endgame at 4 a.m. at the Man's Chinese. Because like when else are you going to be able to do that? Right? Like when else in our lives is there ever going to be a movie where it's 4 a.m and everyone's going to

be in there and you know excited for this movie at 4 a.m it was it was a lot of fun it was a great experience it was also a movie where i'm like man this is not a 4 a.m movie yeah it is also nine hours yeah yeah exactly yeah it does seem like that the marvel thing the thing that this kind of driving marvel mania is just how fucking charming all of their casts are like it's they've they've assembled the most like likable group of people who are also like great on twitter afterwards you know yes it's maybe seems to be a little bit less about you about the world and a little bit more about like, these are my sexy friends who I go to see a couple times a year. Yeah, it's my sexy, funny friends who we hang out for a little bit.

And then that's the fun time. Sure. Freddie, do you not feel that way about Barry Pepper? Is that the white guy from Avatar? Barry Pepper? No, I think Barry Pepper is the white guy from avatar barry pepper barry pepper's the white guy from battlefield earth what else is barry barry peppers that's a there's a name i haven't heard in ages who's the white guy from avatar who's that guy i'm thinking boy yeah i don't know he will he will all he will go down

as the white guy from Avatar. He like did not get more famous. Sam Worthington. It's right. He was in the bad Terminator movie, too. I have a theory when it comes to actors, which is you can only be an actor. You when you become an actor and you become famous, you own that look that general. You look like X person.

Right. So it's like if you have that and someone else already kind of looks like you you're it's over you're screwed you can't be an actor because forever you're going to be oh you're the less good looking version of blank right at which point you might as well just try to become a stunt person right like at that point and that's just the luck of the draw that is you know like this is the way it you know? And Sam Worthington will always be known as the less good-looking Barry Pepper. The less good-looking Barry Pepper, yeah. People always look at Sam Worthington and think,

oh, that stupid man-animal. Like, basically, his thing and, like, Chris Pratt's thing are on the same trajectory. Really? I don't know. I feel like Pratt... You're not going to you're not gonna give worthington any comedy to do yeah but i'm saying pull up two pull up two pictures of the two of them i'm just saying the general broad look is like you know kind of within the same realm and

and i think that that's just they're fighting for the same real estate yeah every time i see charlie hunnam in something i'm like who are you trying to get for that, I wonder? Who are you trying? Nothing against Charlie Hunnam, of course. But he does strike me as a second or third choice. By the way, a very comfortable place to be, second and third choices for movies. Yeah, sure.

I mean, you can make a very nice living freddy what's your what's your over under on the domestic box office for avatar 2 the seaman man what was it called the voyage of the seaman uh two let's see i i i uh i have to look at the article again what was it's called avatar 2 the voyage of the mimi starring a right young ben young ben affleck the way of water the way of water is the way of water yeah i mean well first of all boffo bucks obviously of course sure um i think it's are you already studio prexy? This is my theory. This is my theory.

James Cameron is one of what? Four people, three people to have ever been at the bottom of the Marianas Trench. Right. Wow. Probably the number one most majestic sea destination. Yeah, of course. Top one. Top tier. It's got to be.

Trip Advisors got it at the top. It's been there for years. And a great place to fuck someone else's spouse oh i love a spouse i think he found the devil down there and made a crossroads-esque agreement for his soul which is why his movies continue to get like you know like this is the only explanation i have because i did not honestly i did not think avatar one was gonna make any money i was like like, this is fun. It's cool. But like, no way, right?

But then you hear stories about people who are drawn into the world and they're coming and see it like 20 times in theaters. I'm like, that's the devil's work at play there. That's that Marianas Trench demon work. Yeah. Do you think James Cameron at some point will have to challenge the devil to a fiddle contest? I would hope, right? And I hope we'll be able to see that in 3D IMAX

and be like... Yeah. You guys have heard the sequel to Devil Went Down to Georgia, right? No. Is there one? There's a sequel to that song. It's a song with a sequel. It's The Devil Came Back to Georgia. Sure. With Charlie Daniels and amazing

violinist fiddle player Mark O'Connor and like all sequels kind of treads the same ground it kind of tells a redemption arc where essentially Johnny is so good at fiddle that he's just like gotten rusty so then the so then the song just is like a training montage for Johnny to get good at fiddle again and then he just beats the devil again not didn't necessarily feel like it needed to happen um but an amazing violin solo I love the I love the solo so if you if you want the continuation of the story there is a sequel

to that song just like Avatar it got a sequel he recorded four in a row he's gonna be releasing them slowly over the course of the next I haven't heard that one but i'm a i'm a big fan of uh let's devil again like we did last summer you know that i learned this recently the guy carl douglas who did kung fu fighting also relates released like follow-up kung fu songs no way yeah there's some follow-up Kung Fu song. God, I'm looking on Wikipedia. No way. So there's a Carl Douglas stan out there who's screaming it there. Dance the Kung Fu. Yeah, that might be it.

It might be Dance the Kung Fu. There's a genuinely great knockoff of that Kung Fu song by legitimate musical genius Curtisis mayfield called kung fu uh wow that is a truly great amazing song that i presume was inspired by what a big hit the song kung fu fighting was it was a little mini genre for a while like the like like funky kung fu song yeah what an odd cultural eddie yeah it's like it's such a strange by the way one that one that has law a weirdly long tail like the the in the western mind the association of like i mean like that was all i had growing up it was just 100 like you know karate kung fu freddy you're asian you must know this like the bruce lee thing the shadow that that cast is like surprisingly so especially in america where uh a kung fu fight

versus a guy with a gun i think the guy with the gun wins every time so it's weird that we would like it's just crazy to me that we would like the american ideal is like yeah kung fu learning how to do kung fu it's like you we we're like the we're the ones with the guns like that's the thing of us like crazy that you would think anyway just it's just it just it just really is it's interesting to me there's something about that there's something about the idea that you can like you know something about like you know sort of the inner strength channeling, you know, some sort of mystic power, which by the way, that sort of thing is like, I remember when my dad showed me Star Wars and, you know, he was talking about the force and he's like, yeah, that's like Eastern, that's interesting to see how it gets expressed in all these weird ways. Star Wars, the song Kung Fu Fighting. The Star Wars of songs. Yeah, the Star Wars of songs. To me, there's kind of a dark side of martial arts and those skills.

I thought you were going to say a dark side of the force. Yeah. We know. And it is that, like, if you spend a long time practicing let's take as an example karate uh let's say you take or you go white belt various colors and of course sure triple black belt triple black it's right you've been practicing your karate so long. Part of the premise of it is that you learn to do karate, so you don't have to do karate. Yeah, that's some bullshit.

That's fucked up. It is so much work to learn karate, and then you don't kick anyone's ass? Yeah. The best person in the world at karate does no karate. It's like, I mean, Freddie, imagine, think of all the lonely hours you've spent in your bedroom practicing card tricks. Living room, I clear that space. I need the table.

Okay, thank you. Yeah, you got to have a table for card tricks, Jesse. Come on. Now, imagine if you had practiced all those hours and hours and hours and hours. And at the end of it, your mentor the ghost of ricky jay said to you now freddy remember oh my god yeah you're right the reason we spend these hours these lonely hours in our living room is so that we never have to do card tricks right you're right that's total that's jacked up it's that's completely wild to me you're right i've never thought of that like

i would be angry i would be like well what am i doing here it's like well you know the best fight is the one that you're not in it's like why am i not i'll just i'll be a cross-country runner but if i wanted to do that i wouldn't be in here breaking boards at the end of dental hygienist school they just say the best tooth is the one you've never cleaned yeah it's like i took karate to know myself and i know that the myself that i've come to know would want to kick serious ass constantly yeah now that it can now that it can okay let's take a quick break we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jesse, how do you feel about recurring segments? I love a rec seg. Yes, we have a lot of great rec segs on Jordan Jesse Go. Feelings about sparkling water, of course. Jaywalking. Jaywalking, uh-huh. Crash bandicoot lore. The great Carcini. A lot of great recurring segments on Jordan, Jesse, Go. But I have one that I think is going to become a fan favorite. This is going to be our top ten list.

It's called a list of independent bookstores that people have told me they've pre-ordered the bubble graphic novel from this is the exciting new graphic novel that's based on the smash hit podcast created by jordan morris the very same the one that was co-written by beloved jordan jesse go guest sarah morgan yes that's all i got yeah i'm glad that we clarified which one it was that's the one art by the great tony cliff colors by the great Tony Cliff, Colors by the Great Natalie Rees. It's a beautiful looking book and people have been pre-ordering it. I love to hear from people who

have pre-ordered Bubble. Definitely get at me on social media if you've pre-ordered and want to let me know. Always cool to see. You can of course pre-order it at Amazon or Barnes & Noble but maybe a more fun and exciting thing you can do is pre-order it from your local indie bookstore. All those places are

probably having a little bit of a tough time at the moment, as are a lot of businesses, but I'm sure indie bookstores are some of those businesses. And I've been having a really good time online. People who are shouting out their local indie bookstores where they've pre-ordered Bubble. The ones I've gotten recently, Riverstone Books in Pittsburgh, PA. Book Bar in Denver. Book Bar looks like it's a lot of fun.

They also have a wine bar and some past hors d'oeuvres. I don't know if they're doing that right now, but typically that's something you can do at Book Bar. Book Bar seems like a lot of fun. They also have a wine bar and some past hors d'oeuvres. I don't know if they're doing that right now, but typically that's something you can do at Book Bar. Book Bar seems like a lot of fun. Hicklebee's in San Jose. Oh, yeah. Jesse, you love Hicklebee's, right? Oh, yeah. When I go to San Jose, I always make two stops.

Hicklebee's and, of course, the Tech Museum of Innovation. Ah, no trip to San Jose is complete without those two stops. Vromans in Pasadena. Vromans is a great bookstore in Pasadena that's been around for over 100 years, I believe. Yeah. And of course, maybe my favorite local indie bookstore,

Book Soup. They're in Hollywood. It's a great, local indie bookstore, Book Soup. They're in Hollywood. It's a great, great indie bookstore. And yeah, you can pre-order Bubble from any of those places if you live near them. That's great. And I bet if you call your local independent bookstore, they'll probably order it for you, too. Yeah, absolutely. Do it and let me know where you got it from, and I'll shout them out on an upcoming episode.

We've got a couple messages up on the Jumbotron. First one for Rob from Margaret. Margaret says to Rob, happy birthday anniversary. Thank you for filling the last nine years of my life with laughter and love, including introducing me to this very, very stupid show. Hey. No, she's actually... Wait a minute. She's holding up a picture of Flora's Lava.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm sorry for all the times I've fallen asleep listening to, quote, a really funny part, unquote. I don't know that the quotes were necessary. Maybe just take his word for it. A beautiful, yeah, maybe you just don't get it.

All my love. Happy birthday and anniversary Rob and Margaret. Very, very touching that you would share it with us. Two idiots. Also up on the Jumbo Drawn, we've got a podcast to tell you about.

It's called Dregs of Craig's. Free podcast used as is. Found a podcast by the dumpster behind the Chili's. It's called Dregs of Craig's, and it's about three guys finding the weirdest things on Craigslist and riffing on them. Stuff like people selling teeth, candy bar conspiracy theories, capitalist yoga, underground ticklers, autonomous government roleplay, and more people being horny on Maine than there are critters in the ocean. You can pick it up from my house or stream it on Stitcher, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen and subscribe to the podcast, Dregs of Craig's, wherever you get your podcasts.

You know what's still up on the internet, Jordan? By the way, if you want to get on the Jumbotron, it's MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. You know what's still on the internet? Hmm. Casper Hauser Craigslist. Oh, man. That's some of the funniest stuff there is it's craigslist uh with a kh and it is truly the greatest thing in the history of the world yeah real good that's all i have to say about it

just that it's the greatest thing in the history of the world um the one that the one that i think about the most is we'll trade angel shit for dolphin shit and then the body of the post is I'm into dolphins now. It's not getting any better than that. People say use Craigslist. What's the health of Craigslist in 2020?

I don't know. It's doing pretty good. You know, Craig listens to Judge John Hodgman. I met him. He came to the San Francisco show. Cool. Yeah, he does a lot of journalism-related philanthropy. That's great. Yeah.

Way to go, Craigslist. I'll put stuff up on Craigslist from time to time in 2020. Oh, yeah? I enjoy it. Yeah, and I'll use it to look for garage sales, too. I'll never forget the time i traded a walk for two tickets to great america i mean that's a fucking good trade man it fucking ruled it was great who needs a fucking walk would never have happened without craigslist lock up your rabbits is the subject line and then the body is my pet eagle clyde just

escaped and he is hung slash angry that's really good okay now we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go in just a second on Jordan, Jesse go. It's Jordan, Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Freddie Wong, internet loser and loving it. He's loving that loser life. It's the best. No expectations.

Yeah. It's fantastic. I got a couple quick updates here. First of all, we went on a search, Freddie, for your benefit to find who was the highest elected official who was a listener to Jordan Jesse Go. This was after we found out that the attorney general or district attorney or whatever of British Columbia is a fan of Stop Podcasting Yourself, our sister show. Are they in charge of the glory holes? Yeah, I think so. They have to do the sanding.

You don't want any jagged edges. Going splinters. So we found that the mayor of Cramerton, North Carolina, best known as the home of a particular kind of khaki cloth, is a Jordan Jesse Goh listener. He was kind enough, his name's Mayor Will, he was kind enough to make Kramerton t-shirts, he sent us some, to make Kramerton t-shirts using a slogan that Jordan coined on our airwaves.

These say, think globally, goat locally, which is a reference to Goat Island, which is one of Kramerton's big attractions. It doesn't have goats on it, though. We also got an email from a listener named Blake, Blake H, uh, Blake and their family made it to goat Island in Cramerton,

North Carolina. Um, and, uh, Blake was nice enough to send us a picture of goat Island, which does indeed look very nice. And some real, some real nice signs that say so blessed since 1915 1914 was the great

cramerton flood but since 1915 it's all blessings yeah all blessings it's all been good smooth sailing um so thanks to blake and of course thanks to Mayor Will of Cramerton, North Carolina we're looking forward to playing your annual arts festival when that becomes a thing that can happen we also have an update on the YouTube Minecraft streamer

that we discussed on a recent Jordan Jesse Go I have an eight-year-old and a six-year-old. Oh yeah so they live in Minecraft. They live in Minecraft and particularly in the world of one particular Minecraft streamer whose name I shall not speak. But many, many Jordan, Jesse go listeners, despite the fact that we did not include this person's, uh, name in my condemnation of them, uh, knew exactly who I was talking about. Basically every single, every single Jordan, Jesse go listener with a child between five and ten immediately identified the monster who takes his child listeners on tours of his Lamborghini garage.

anyway sam b sent in a sort of kids say the darndest something that uh their eight-year-old son said uh while they were trying to fix the toilet uh sam b was trying to fix the toilet and the son said hey dad even love you was once a nub so go ahead and bleep that you mispronounced noob jesse no it's nub it's noob and nub but love you again brian bleep that he says nub huh instead of noob i know this because my child has accused me of being a nub. Oh no. It's a sad day when a kid finally realizes his father is a nub. I'm driving a station wagon. I don't have a Ferrari

garage. I don't even have a garage. Freud talks about it. Freud talks about that as a very key moment is realizing that your father figure is in fact a nub. Does nub mean the same thing as noob yeah i think it means about the same thing as noob i think it's just like an alternate noobs and nubs you know sure let's call the whole thing off let's check out wikidiff.com what's the difference between nubs and noobs uh nubs an alternative form of noob. Nub is an alternative.

As nouns, the difference between nub and noob is that nub is the innermost section of a chrysalis in a silk cocoon, or nub can be a noob in internet slang. And on the east coast, it's a nub, and on the west coast, it's Carl's Jr. And on the East Coast, it's a nub, and on the West Coast, it's Carl's Jr.

If a kid ever calls you Carl's Jr. in an online game, you know what he's talking about. Stream globally, nub locally, something like that. Yeah, make some shirts. Make some shirts, assholes have you had to um within within the minecraft world have you had to uh uh step in and and and sort of handle any in minecraft drama yes wait what yeah freddy what's an example of drama that can occur within minecraft well you could tnt the door of somebody's house that happened to my kid this weekend it's pretty since pretty fucked up. Oh, so you are. So you do have to deal with that.

Isn't that wild? It is a very active part of my life. I had a friend of mine, tech savvy, and their neighborhood, he had like a server, a Minecraft server for all the kids in the neighborhood.

And he was like, you're not going to believe this shit. I had to have a sit down family meeting with every other parent. I had a whole this shit i had to have a sit down family meeting with every other parent i had a whole evening where we had to discuss the behavior of our kids in this virtual world because one kid doesn't play nice and keeps stealing the other kids diamonds and it's going back and forth he's like i had to we all had to sit down and talk to these other people i don't even know these people but these kids are playing on the server i just want to shut down the server

i don't know why i set this up this This sounds like the pog arguments of my youth. It's serious business. Minecraft's serious business. This is like a very active part of my life. Like my poor six-year-old is at such a hard time, you know, and we don't want to take away anything that makes him happy. And he does love the Minecraft as much as I hate it. And, you know, I can see that in Minecraft, you're sort of like making stuff.

And it's more interesting and creative than some alternatives. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. But it's awful. And he plays it with his friend from kindergarten, which is great because he doesn't get to see him in real life. So it's great that they get to play together because he doesn't get to see any in real life so it's great that they get to play

together because he doesn't get to see any of his other friends you know what i mean like it's nice that they have this thing to connect over every time it ends in tears screaming in tears every single time these are two of the sweetest kids in the world every single time somebody is pranking a nub and they tnt the door of the house or whatever. And then, of course, you got to deal with those green guys that I can't remember the name of. The creepers. They might come.

Who knows if you go to the nether. Whatever is going on in here, it leaves them upset every single time. So what happens is during this time that we think is going to be a time when they're happy and we get to do something else besides actively take care of them. Me in my house and this other kid's parent in his house have to like hover behind them to diffuse situations as they arise. You should, listen, I think again, not to step in on parenting styles,

but I think if you create a character and get in there and turn on all the cheats for yourself, I think this is an alternate way of doing it. And I think it'll make life a lot easier. You can repair things. You can, you know, just saying. So you want me to get in there and... Yes.

I'll walk you through it. I'm not even kidding. I'll walk you through it. Yeah, I love Minecraft. Freddie, how much Minecraft experience do you have? Here's how legit my Minecraft experience was. I was in on the alpha. Wow.

That year, I was like like you know what'd be fun i should we should dress up as the guy from minecraft so me and a couple of friends we were all obsessed with this game because we're like it's like legos but you're the size of the lego and you get to build it like it's essentially right and just tap that fantasy of legos for us and in our adult lives we all dress up as minecraft. We went to a so-called nerd party. Not a single fucking person recognized what we were. Within one year, the same sort of yearly gathering, everyone was like, Minecraft, you've been on Minecraft? You heard about Minecraft?

It's like, you sons of bitches. We were on this shit a year ago, and you guys made fun of our blocky, weird costumes. I quite enjoyed the game. I think it's a lot of fun. It scratches an inner architectural nerd thing in my head where i kind of like making you know weird architectural spaces in it it like i'm not even kidding the nerdiest like i think one of the first things i did in minecraft once they like had like white colored blocks was to recreate the farnsworth house which is an which is an architectural uh

piece of uh like modern uh i think it's me's vander is it vander row anyway it's like it's just it's you know it's the it's a nerdy ass thing to do in minecraft i love minecraft wow i was gonna guess falling water falling water is a little you know what a little too baroque a little too arabesque for my Taste, and frankly, and frankly Frank Lloyd Wright, he was clearly a short dude And he made sure you knew it when you walked into his Freaking houses I only

Participate in Brutalist Minecraft Oh, but see, now Minecraft actually works really well for Brutalism, because of the concrete texture It's fantastic for Brutalism It's easier, and then you can turn off Minecraft when you're done. Build a

functional building and then turn it off. When something momentous happens to you, call us at 206-984-4FUN or send us a voicemail memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org as this person has.

Hi, Jordan, Jesse, President Obama. Close. Can you pause me, please, Brian? How are we going to book President Obama? Are you telling me I was a second choice? We can't book President Obama. President Obama is a former president of the United States, a best-selling author.

This guy goes on, you know, David Letterman's Netflix show. He doesn't come on our show. We got Michelle next week, though. She has a podcast. We got Michelle because she has a podcast. Press play again, Brian. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, President Obama. I just started listening to the show recently, and I've kind of been skipping around old episodes. So far, maybe about 40% of episodes have included references to Jose and or Ozzy Canseco. So I assume that's what the show is about and you'd like to hear my momentous occasion. Several years ago, I was playing poker in Vegas when Jose sat down at the table.

He played for a few hours, chatted with the people next to him, you know, normal guy. But then no one at the table brought up the fact that he was Jose Canseco. It seemed like nobody knew. So when he left the game, again, nobody said a word. I finally asked everyone, you know, did anyone notice that was Major League Baseball superstar Jose Canseco? And the guy who was sitting across the table from him, who had been doing most of the chatting with Jose, I'd say, right away says, Oh my God, I knew that wasn't a normal person, but I didn't know it was Faken Seiko. Anyway, thanks for the last over the last few weeks.

They've really been needed and appreciated. Man, if you're out there and you've met Jose or Ozzy Canseco, and you know what? I'm going to throw this one in for free. If you've met second baseman Mike Gallego or shortstop Walter Weiss or even Carney Lansford, give us a call at 206-984-4FUN. I'm looking at you,

people who've met Ron Hasse or Terry Steinbach. If you've met Dave Henderson or Luis Polonia, give us a call. 206-984-4FUN. Dennis Eckersley, call us. 206-984-4FUN. Dave Stewart, hit us up. Mike Moore. Could do this probably for a lot longer so i'm gonna stop yeah i believe it i believe it um i have a baseball story for if you have a second yeah of course so always for a baseball story a brief for a brief period i'm trying to actually find give me one second here let me just i just want to make sure I get the name right. So for a brief moment, you all recall the video game Guitar Hero was a thing and people played it and loved it, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So during that time, is this? Yes. Okay, cool. Perfect. So during that time, uh, I was getting,

I was really good at the game. Just naturally was lucky, was crazy, stupid, good, uh, at that game. Um, I won some competitions. I was briefly, because there was no other competitions, a world champion of Guitar Hero. Uh, I was put on the front page of the Seattle PI. The Seattle Times ran actual news, which would tell you exactly which newspaper was the real newspaper at that time. So I was getting random requests from places to like, hey, come play Guitar Hero.

Set up our karaoke night for Guitar Hero. I'm getting paid as a professional guitar hero wow player do you have like a like a like a song like a signature song was it so i would dragon force is that the that's the hardest so this is before this is guitar hero 2 so this is before that came out i would do like showy guitar hero guitar moves emulating you know the greats right the the pete townsend's and and what have yous of the world and sort of aping their moves while playing this very silly plastic video game sort of very tongue-in-cheek but also doing very well at the video game my shtick you didn't just you weren't just good at guitar hero you had an act i had an act man i had a guitar hero thing i've been flown all over the

world to play guitar hero and rock band i've met what's the crazy i've had it what's the craziest place you've gone on guitar heroes probably ibiza spain wow to promote the european release of rock band i was on t i was on mtv's trl sebastian bach oh my gosh watched us play guitar hero um yeah again like i said this was a wild period and and i will get into it one of these days and perhaps in the future appearance but for the purposes of this one yeah one of the wildest places thank god we spent the first hour of this show talking about avatar one of the more wild places i ended up was the marers bullpen. So I got an email from a friend of mine, a friend of a friend who was working with the team at the time. I think this was like 2007, 2008, somewhere in there.

And they were like, hey, it turns out that's like the way all those guys were blowing off steam. Like before games, they would just have a PlayStation. They would just run through Guitar Hero. like before games they would just have a playstation they would just run through guitar hero and they saw the the article and they're like hey you want to come by and just hang out and play guitar hero with the guys now i'm not and in particular it was i think jj putts the relief pitcher who was like totally he was in them as a mariner at the time totally into guitar hero he's like come on by like let's all hang out and play guitar hero so i didn't know i don't know anything about baseball i'm not a baseball guy at all so i have a friend who is a huge mariners fan so i was like hey you want to

just come along with me he's like what really oh my gosh so we went we spent an afternoon before a game playing guitar hero in their bullpen and i think of the thing that i remember the most during that time period was one all every it was just wild realizing everybody there was either younger than me or the same age like you think of you think of baseball player you think of like sports players as being like you know these uh these other people who are outside even at that time i was like this i'm older than these than everyone in They are men. We are children. Yeah, you would think that, right? But playing Guitar Hero, no, I was the man in that movie.

Yes. Yeah, you mopped the floor with those professional athletes. I remember also that Ichiro came by to observe. And he was kind of like rarefied air. You could even feel it. He was in the back, kind of arms crossed you know towel around his waist watching us goof around and then someone was like hey you want you want in on this and he didn't say a word he just sort of looked over like did a very subtle nod and then went back to his training wow oh so hey listen kids video games can take you places that's the moral of the story did you when you

when you were a guest of the baseball team did you get a free uh tiny batting helmet with an ice cream sundae in it no i forgot to ask for that i got some cool mariners merch but yeah they don't just give those away you'll probably get as much big league chew as you want yeah as much big league choose you want and yeah as much big league chew as you want and also we all got to walk the diamond diamond at safeco and i very and this is this again me not being a really a baseball guy i remember standing on that pitcher's mound and talking talking about the game coming up and all that and really kind of just you know faking the conversation but distinctly being like i could play this that's not far first that little i could run

that yeah first the home plate if i could do that. It's easy. I watch him as a baseball player. Such is my hubris. Well, if something momentous happens to you, like you play guitar hero with Seattle Mariners closer J.J. Putts, 206-984-4FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Macho man to the top rope.

The flying elbow. The cover. We've got a new champion. We're here with Macho Man Randy Savage after his big win to become the new world champion. What are you going to do now, Match? I'm going to go listen to the newest episode of the Tights and Fights podcast. Oh, yeah. Tell us more about this podcast.

It's the podcast of power. Too sweet to be sour. Funky like a monkey. Woke discussions, man. And jokes about wrestlers' fashion choices, myself excluded. I can't wait to listen. Neither can I. You can find it Saturdays on Maximum Fun.

Oh, yeah. Dig it. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi, I'm la, la. reviews are in. Take yourself to Apple Podcasts. You know what you're going to hear? We're happy. It's true. We're a delight, a great distraction from the world. I like that part a lot. So if that's what you guys are looking for, you got to check out our show. But what else can they expect? We've got dog tech, dog news, celebrities with their dogs, all dog things, all the dog things. So if that interests you, well, get yourself on over to Maximum Fun every Tuesday. Get yourself on over to Maximum Fun every Tuesday. It's Jordan, Jesse Doe.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Freddie Wong, former professional guitar hero player reliving his glory. Man. Freddie, you've lived many lives. That is, I mean, like, be totally honest. My personal philosophy is try and collect as many weird experiences as humanly possible before you go. That's like my, if I don't have any religious beliefs, that is the one philosophy I ascribe to, which is try and do as much weird shit as you can. Honestly, not a bad one.

I will follow your church. I will give you money. I will tithe. I will tithe to you. I'm just looking at J.J. Putz's baseball reference page. You know how it is. Yeah. Guy had some good years, J.J. Putz.

40 saves, 1380 RA in 2007. Come on. Did it say if he could beat the Dragon Force level in Guitar Hero 2? No, but he's... Let me add that to the wiki because I can speak to that personally. Oh, okay. He has a pretty good FIP, so that's good if you're worried about his FIP. It was.

You know. I was concerned. Freddie, it's been a joy to have you on the program. What a delight. uh freddie it's been a joy to have you on the program what a what a delight uh freddie wong of course besides uh all of his work over there at rocket jump on the youtube uh which is very delightful youtube this is not just him taking us on tours of his lamborghini garage i came in the era before youtube money could get you a lamborghini So what I do have is I do have a 2013 Honda Odyssey minivan. Pretty good.

And I'm proud of it. Pretty good. And you know what? Minivan, beautiful. Just a beautiful car. Yeah. Listen, if you haven't tried it, treat yourself right, folks. That's a nice whip.

My wife got a Honda Odyssey minivan. That thing whips. That thing's pretty good. Vans rule. You have the number one reason vans rule. All the utility of a truck, plus you don't have to bring anything in because you can just leave it in the car and cover it up with a tarp. You're like, ah, it's fine.

Yeah, you need a place to store your tarp, too. Why pay for a storage, public storage, when you could have a minivan? A van is a truck you can fuck in. That's true. I mean, you can technically fuck in a truck. Sure. But you might get a ticket, you know what I mean? Or get poked by something.

Yeah. A man can live as he wants inside a van without the law poking its nose in. We're free to do the things that we're gonna do you know how the government's been taking away our liberties yes you can do yeah i've noticed you can do any goddamn thing you want inside a van that's true back of a van uncle sam ain't got ain't got yep ain't no uncle sam in the back of the van yes what's that what's that uncle sam you don't want me starting small fires well i think i'll take it to the back of my van thank you very much anything you want in the back of a van you don't want me drawing my own currency currency well i can do it in my van i've got these odyssey bucks what's that uncle sam six

cup holders within arm's reach of the driver's seat there's too many cup holders my odyssey begs to differ sir so many drinks what's that mayor bloom fart Bloom fart? You don't think I should drink sodas? How about I drink six at once? Yeah, that'll show Bloom fart who's boss. Little toot toot. That's what I call him. Mayor Bloom fart. All this guy ever does is fart. I've noticed.

He must eat beans for every meal, Mayor Bloom fart. Right. Never had a van in his life. This guy drives nothing but sedans. If he had a van, he'd just fill it with farts. I don't know how that guy got kids, because you can't fuck in a sedan. You know what I mean? Thank you.

Much less start a small fire. Just a little, you know? I call my Prius the virginity chariot. My mom actually took significant umbrage with me picking up a minivan. Oh, yeah? She said she was like very disappointed in a way, in a tone that i had not heard in a very long time she was like freddie if you drive that van like how like what will women think of you and i said mom i said mom maybe the kind of woman that's right for me wouldn't think less of me for just driving this van yeah maybe a woman who's dtf would be looking for a guy with a van.

Yeah. And she said, no, that's not right. I mean, Freddie, you did. I mean, obviously, look, you work in film production. You need a way to drag around all your film stuff. You did miss out on a chance to have a Ford Transit Connect. That's the real dream is to have a Ford Transit Connect, have a commercial van. Two roads diverged in a wood and I.

Freddie Wong, one of the hosts of the wonderful MaxFun podcast, Story Break, in which they create films live on air essentially right yeah we do our best to try and come up with a movie in an hour uh we've we've been on a good run if i do say so myself i have a you know a pretty i feel like a pretty objective view of my of the podcast we're doing pretty good as of late what's the best one what's the best movie you've created recently so we've been kind of going on this tear of sort of very... I think one of my favorite ones that we did recently was we put in our phones autocorrect the phrase Star Wars, but,

and then just let it fill out. And so the prompt that we worked off of was Star Wars, but I think it's a good idea. I would have said star wars but han solo because that's the number one star wars but right oh yeah oh yeah 100 those little gun pants check out the turd cutter on Han. That's no moon. More like hand tutor. I've got a good feeling about this.

Oh, wow. Wow. That was like a flurry. Incredible. So tired, you guys, just of everything. Well, Freddie, it's been a joy to have you on the program as ever as always fantastic love it love my time here yes thanks for coming man i'm sorry about i'm sorry about all that avatar stuff like you having to watch the movie avatar listen i've i joel jimmy c and I will be the ones with the last laugh come 2021 mark my words what uh what's the last uh what's the last magical trick you learned uh so there's this magic

there's this magic trick that I've been working on it's a strange one but it involves um my evil twin showing up yeah there's this and and as an explanation for like why i'm able to do magic tricks is yeah my evil twin follows me around and like looks over your shoulder and texts me what your card is sort of thing um my dream is this my dream is this i think that the moment you have something named after you in anything you've conquered that thing so for example there are certain like in rock climbing a conquered that thing so for example there are certain like in rock climbing a hobby that i was getting into prior to this year and i enjoy there's number there's a number of moves that have like names that's you know it's named after so and so

or what have you right magic is the exact same way there's certain moves there's palms there's card maneuvers that are you know so and so it's you know there's the la paul spread there's a so you know there's a whole range of these sort of things. I've been trying to figure out if I can get a move into the lexicon. That's been, like, kind of my side project is trying to figure out a move. Oh, man. You got to get a move.

You got to get a move. Otherwise, you haven't really made your mark on the thing that you're trying to do, you know? Have you ever heard of a thorn fuck? Have you ever heard of a thorn fuck? I'm not going to get too far into it, but it takes place in a Honda Odyssey. Or one of these resorts. Right, yes, the Des resorting spot. I mean, like, right, that's the ground zero that you would need to be at to sort of seed these kinds of, if you'll excuse the expression, seed these kinds of maneuvers.

Right. Jordan Jesse Go is, we're on Twitter, at Jesse Thorne, at Jordan underscore Morris. You can hashtag your tweets, JJ Go. You can find us on Facebook, where you will also find the Maximum Fun Facebook group. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. Always a lively conversation there. Our producer is Brian Sonny D. Fernandez, and our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. We are deeply committed to quality. So if you notice any mistakes in this week's program, please tweet them at J.D. Power, at J.D. Power and Associates, at J.D. Power on Twitter.

We love you all very much, and we'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, Go.