Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 660: JC Pineapples with Blaire Erskine

Episode Date: October 28, 2020

Blaire Erskine (Twitter / Video / Superstar ) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jordan's exhilarating run through the resurrected Target Husk, the lawless Christian nightclub for teens Blaire used to go to growing up, and the genderbending papal protest organization called the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence that one of Jesse's childhood mentors was a member of.  

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. I'm Jordan Morris. I have entered the Target Husk. I have entered, experienced, and exited the Target Husk. The Target Husk? Do you not know about the Target Husk, Jesse? This is all the rage.

I participated at summer camp in Operation Target Husk, which was when we made corn off the cob. This is totally different. Okay. So maybe this is... So it doesn't have anything to do with Target potatoes peeled. Absolutely nothing. So, you know, we talked a couple months back when our buddy Steve Agee was on about the murder Kroger. He got to visit the murder Kroger when he was working in Atlanta. Atlanta, Georgia. Yes. And I feel like in LA, our equivalent of

the murder Kroger for a few years now has been the target husk. On Santa Monica and Western, they started building a target. And then the city said that the permits were wrong or something. city said that the permits were wrong or something. And so this, you know, quarter finished Target has been sitting there for, I think, six or seven years, the Target husk. So long. I mean, this is not a part of Los Angeles that I drive past often. But for those who drive past this part of Los Angeles, it has become an obsession to the point where I, a person who lives 10 miles away, knows a lot about it. It looks like for years had just, you know, been in a state that looks like it's a place that Spider-Man would have a climactic fight.

There's a lot of like girders, like exposed girders and rafters and like a half of a target logo. So you kind of know what it's going to be. A lot of things for Doc Ock to hold on to. Sure. Yeah. With those, you know how he has those funny two piece claws at the end of his wavy arms? And a lot of things for Gwen Stacy to get impaled upon.

It's interesting that he could design those crazy arms, but he couldn't put thumbs on the end. Yeah. Yeah. So. Well, there's two. I mean, there's two things that are crazy about it. thing that he could design those crazy arms but he couldn't put thumbs on the end yeah yeah so i well there's two i mean there's two things that are crazy about it one is that you have spent years and years and years dealing with looking at this semi-finished target right the other is you have to deal with the promise of ICs undelivered. Yeah. What happens to a dream deferred, Jordan? Well, hold, I'll get to that.

Okay. So. As we've discussed on this program, Target has ICs. Yes. Which are better than Slurpees because they're fluffier. So, you know, this husk has been sitting there and it's just been a fucking bummer. It's been an eyesore. It's this kind of weird reminder of how, you know,

a lot of the cool neighborhood stuff is leaving LA and there's just this, you know, all these kind of corporate monstrosities and like, well, here's one of these monstrosities, but you can't even, you're like, well, you know, I get how a target's bad for a neighborhood in some ways, but also it's a target. Who doesn't love a target? If you're going to have a target in your neighborhood, running all the other businesses out of business. Right. At the very least,

you want to be able to get plastic bins whenever you need plastic bins. Storage bins should be available to you and they should cost $3.98. So for years, this husk has just been sitting there. And, you know, like I have not been, you know, obviously because of, you know, the stuff that's going on. Right. I have not been. The World Series. Baseball's World Series. Baseball's World Series.

I have not been driving, you Series, baseball's World Series. The baseball's World Series. I have not been driving past the target husk. So it's been out of my mind, out of sight, out of mind. Sure. You're thinking about Icy's, I'm sure, but you're associating them with other places that have Icy's, like the merry-go-round in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park. Sure, and most roller rinks. Yeah. Certain bowling. Sure. And most roller rinks.

Yeah. Certain bowling alleys. Or better roller rinks. Some have slush puppies. Sure. Oh, yeah. Slush puppies. The poor man's icy.

So I guess something happened with the permits. The city fathers were able to make a deal with, I'm guessing, a crime family. And now, I just saw a tweet that the Target Husk is opening this weekend. A family of different colors of goblins, the Osborns. Yes, yeah, the famous, yeah, the money from oscorp was funneled in um yeah with a subsidiary from ah shit what's the other evil company in the marvel universe i don't know i forget anyway lex core lex yeah that's they see but i don't listen i don't want to be this let's not fucking do this okay let's not fucking do this hey jordan i don't want to be this. Let's not fucking do this, okay? Let's not fucking do this. Hey, Jordan, I don't mean to get satirical,

but how about Trump Incorporated, okay? Nice, yeah. Thank you. The ultimate comic book supervillain. Yeah. I'd call him Carrot Man. Whoa, okay, hold on, man. I'm not above making fun of a man's long, skinny, pointy penis.

Oh, you were talking about the shape of his penis. Okay, I thought it was a skin thing. Yeah, I'm okay with Karen Mann now. No, I'd never make fun of the color of a man's skin. So today was the opening day of Target Husk. And as, you know, as all of our lives are kind of empty right now, mine is empty. And I'm like, well, how, how often do you get a chance to go to the opening of a, of a noteworthy target? So I just got back from a,

just a beautiful trip to the most pristine target. I got a dozen eggs for a dollar 79. Wow. I used a fucking perfect bathroom. Now, this is not just a normal target. Just describe, you know, kind of how this thing looks. You know, Jesse,

you're a medium Star Wars guy, so you know the Death Star, right? Sure. It's the round guy. The round guy. It shoots lasers. So if a normal target is a Death Star, this target is Starkiller Base. This is a three-pronged fucking mega destroyer of a target.

It looks like, not to name another LA landmark, but it looks like the Getty. It seems like it was designed after the art museum, the Getty. designed after the art museum, the Getty. So it's a huge Target with surprisingly little gallery space. Right. And a disappointing collection. And a pretty good restaurant. Yeah.

Beautiful garden. And this thing, it did not disappoint. Hey, Jordan, I got to go to Target. I got to pick up some busts. So many fucking classical busts at the Getty. Who wants to look at that? Some World War One propaganda posters. Another fun thing you can see at

the Getty. Beautiful grounds. Nice view. Like taking a train up there. And I know we're talking about Icy's, but I think a lot of people will be thinking in their heads, hasn't the Target stack bar been largely replaced by an in-store Starbucks?

And yes, this has happened. So, I mean, when you say, get an IC at Target, I'm like, when's the last time you've seen an IC machine at a Target? The Husk? Fuck an IC machine. Fuck yes! And an in-store Starbucks. Best of both worlds.

Oh my God. Get one of those little fucking egg bites and wash it down with an icy. Ooh, yeah. A lot of protein in both those. Anyways, I'm flying. The energy in there was electric bordering on sexual. I have not felt this kind of community excitement. I mean, the World Series is going on. Nobody can go to it, but there's this kind of same, you know, hey, look at us. We're

all doing it. We're all in this together. I honestly have never, I feel high. I feel like I'm fucking ganked out of my mind on Coke just because I have been in the target husk and got a tube of toothpaste and a bag of floss picks i'm trying to floss this year it's kind of my thing and a 12 eggs for a dollar 79 what everything is going to be okay jesse everything's going to be okay and for the at home listener jordan i've never once seen you cosplay we We've gone to Comic-Con. We performed at Comic-Con. You weren't cosplaying there. But right now, you're wearing head-to-toe from your flat-brim baseball cap to your big, thick-soled sneakers. Head-to-toe Mossimo.

I just, I had to. Nothing but Mossimo. The official brand of Target, maybe 10 years ago. All Mossimo. Love that. Should we introduce our guest, find out how much Mossimo she's wearing? Yes. Okay, good fellow and company.

Are you happy with that, Jordan? 10 years ago. I don't, when's the last time you've seen a Mossimo thing? It's fun to say Mossimo. I don't know, it's okay. You're having a nice time with it. I am. Admit it. I am. I'm having a nice time a Mossimo thing. It's fun to say Mossimo. I don't know. It's okay. You're having a nice time with it. I am. Admit it. I am. I'm having a nice time with Mossimo. Goodfellow and company is much less fun. Yeah. It's all right. It's sexier though. It is sexier, but look. Goodfellow's got company coming over. I'm going to be honest with you, Jordan. When you're around,

we don't need to bump up the sexiness. It's already almost too sexy. That's true. And then we start talking about those claws on Dr. Octopus. Oof. Oof. Man alive. Chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk. Girder, girder, girder, girder, girder. Oof. Squeeze my head, daddy. Okay, let's introduce our guest this is a part of the Sinister 69 if you know what I mean

Spider-Man alright show's over our guest on the program is an Atlanta based comic and writer look she's based in Atlanta but let's face it Our guest on the program is an Atlanta-based comic and writer. Look, she's based in Atlanta, but let's face it, she's the Internet's darling. She makes little videos and posts them on Twitter.

They're very funny, and people love them, including me. Please welcome to the program Blair Erskine. Hi, Blair. How are you? Oh, my God. Hello. I'm wonderful. Jordan, are you sure the Target Husk isn't a Kmart? Because Kmart has ICs, too. Whoa. Oh, wow.

And it's easy to get confused. Lots of sexual energy in a Kmart as well. The K stands for Kegels. Kinky Kegels. Kmart's tight. Tight and muscular. Got to be tight. Got to be small.

No, I am dead. I am dead. You're dead. Dead certain. Dead to rights I was in a Target. We'll accept that. I would never make that mistake. What are some of the, what would you say, Blair? We don't have a ton of Kmarts out on the West Coast anymore.

What would you say are some of the top qualities of a Kmart's out on the West Coast anymore. What would you say are some of the top qualities of a Kmart? I mean, if we say that the top qualities of Target are getting an icy or a plastic bin or some mossy mow, what are you headed to the Kmart for? I feel like Kmart, you walk in and you immediately know you are surrounded by your people, fellow freaks. Everyone's a freak at Kmart because you could go to Target. If there's a Kmart around, there's a Target within a three mile radius. And we've made the choice consciously

to go to Kmart instead. So I would say the camaraderie is a benefit of Kmart with a K. Well, I'll say this, Blair, to quote the great rap group Houdini, what I like about freaks is that they're really good lovers. Well, of course. And that's what we say at Kmart.

That's like the Sam's Club, hard to get in. But Kmart, you sounded braggy when you said you didn't have them on the West Coast anymore. I don't know if we even have many here anymore, to be honest with you. I think they're sadly phasing out. Is it possible that Kmart doesn't exist anymore? And that's why I haven't seen a Kmart in a long time? So I wanted to fact check myself before I brought it up. Yeah, they're still here, allegedly. All right. Listen, when I Google Kmart, all that comes up is Target, like just three addresses to the nearest Target i had a kmart directly across the street from me for years and it just closed down this year and turned into a i'm sure temporary

although i don't know a uh like britney spears memorabilia museum excuse me that opened up like a month before covet and it's just been sitting there being a hot pink building that's the size of a kmart with britney spears on the side it's a real bummer oh it's still there yeah it's still there it hasn't become anything else it's they painted the whole building pink and like you know uh a giant snake era britney is on the side and uh just nobody's in there man do you think it's toxic in there it might be is britney in there free britney yes i know she's trapped you could be a hero she's trapped in a former k-mart um she's a spirit halloween blair have you had to have you been to the murder kroger we mentioned the murder

kroger and that's an atlanta thing it is an atlanta thing thank you um we take such pride yeah i've been i've been to the murder kroger when it was around um yeah it was great i had plenty of parking that's what i loved about the murder kroger uh personally never experienced murder there myself though many people have kind of a bummer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want it to be you, but it can't always be you. Yeah, they got rid of that and, I guess, constructed a new one in its place, and we'll see what happens

there. I mean, I could be the first at the new Murder Kroger. I think you could do that. I believe in you. I mean, unless they let your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man in there first. Oh, Jesus Christ. When it's still just a bunch of girders. Swinging around up there.

Are you suggesting Spider-Man is going to be killed at the murder, Kroger? I'm suggesting that Spider-Man move to Atlanta. Oh, yeah. Bold move. He heard it was cool there. Break into the industry. Yeah. Right, he wants to work for an adult swim show. Spider-Man moved to Atlanta because of the entertainment tax credits.

Oh, right. So Spider-Man and Tyler Perry out there at the moment. He has a patch on the back of his outfit that says, made in Georgia. Oh, no. Spider-Man would. Blair and Jesse, I am curious. We mentioned Spirit Halloween came up. I'll ask Blair first.

This is our, I guess this is our Halloween episode. We didn't do spooky nicknames. We probably should have done spooky nicknames. Maybe we can do it in the next segment if we decide it's a good idea. Blair, are you a Halloween person? Are you finding ways to celebrate? I like to, no. I was just going to pretend to be a Halloween. I like you finding ways to celebrate? I like to know I was just going to pretend to be a Halloween. I like the idea of Halloween. I like the idea of Halloween and I

wish I could be a Halloween person, but I just find myself I'm not good at creating costumes or being creative in that respect. And then I get self-conscious and I just stay at home because I go to sleep early sometimes. But I like, I respect other Halloween people. I'm not anti-Halloween and I like the candy. Yeah, what's your top Halloween candy, would you say? Reese's Cups. Yeah.

Reese's. I don't know, what do you guys say? Because I say Reese's Cups and I think that's wrong. I'm saying it out loud. I think it's wrong. It is wrong, but it's way more fun. I mean, I really strongly support it. Reese Cups. Yeah. It flows off the tongue. Yeah. Yeah. Reese Cups. I like those. I'm headed down to Target. I'm going to get some Reese Cups and some Mossimo. Everything I own is Mossimo and I've been saying Mossimo

for my entire life and I'm Mossimo. That's's wrong you guys say stussy or stussy this is tough this feels like a trap it is mark eco there you go that's the right answer i know what you're talking about blair about the like i think my biggest problem with ha with Halloween other than you know like as a lifelong non-drinker by the time I had stopped trick-or-treating there wasn't that much to do like most of most of Halloween activities are like about bacchanalia that I'm not gonna participate in necessarily but the real reason that i'm a little uncomfortable with halloween i think is that um i hate and this is something that's come up for me

over and over and over again with my three children during the pandemic i hate projects like creative projects like my worst nightmare is to make something out of something and that's all halloween is i feel like like unless you go onto amazon and buy one of those inflatable dinosaur costumes you're locked into a fucking spending a month trying to find the right jumpsuit for your fucking Ghostbusters outfit or whatever. And that is my worst nightmare. I was going to ask, Jesse, your kids strike me as the types that would be super into Halloween. Are they, do they want to do something crazy this year?

I mean, I'm not on this show to brag, but we do have a pretty wild Halloween plan in place. Okay. Okay. we do have a pretty wild Halloween plan in place. Okay, okay. We're going to start at our house, get super hammered, pre-gaming it. Yeah, you got to pre-game a little bit. Kids got to learn how to pre-game. You got to lay down a base

so you spend less money at the bar. The kids have a variety of costumes planned, as always. One of the big problems with children is that as soon as you get them a costume, they've thought of a new thing they want to be. So I generally don't pay attention to what they want to be for Halloween until a couple of days before Halloween. That's smart. Because I'm not putting the pieces together and I'm also not interested in buying a long series of costumes. My youngest wants to be a ghost pirate. I know that. That seems doable. That's solid. At the end of the day, they're all, they just be that kind of robot where it's just a box

over your head. Yeah, that's a classic. So we're starting at my house and then we're going to trick or treat over our side fence in case our neighbors have any candy. In case. And yeah, we haven't run this by our neighbors. And then we're going to go to this three-year-old named Esme's house. I don't know if we've cleared this with Esme's parents, but we're going to ask them for candy.

Then we're going to go to Elliot Kalin's house and ask him and his wife Danielle for candy. And we're going to go home and go to sleep. That sounds nice. Because you can't, because of the baseball's World Series, you can't just go door to door trick or treating this year. Such a different world. So it was like, what can we do besides just go to Elliot's house? Like Elliot was on the list because my son and Elliot's son are quarantine friends. They both desperately needed someone to socialize with. And we decided to open our social window to one other family. But besides

that, there's nothing. So Frankie, my three-year-old, he demanded we visit Esme. And our neighbors, sometimes they'll leave us a loaf of bread that they made on the fence. So we figured they're probably good for it. Yeah. Can they stick some chocolate chips or something in the bread? That seems likely. What kind of bread? He made a great sourdough. And he said, well, they're relatively new neighbors. And he said, well, I'm a microbiologist.

I said, well, that explains it. This guy knows what he's doing. This guy knows a little something about bugs. You know what I mean? Sure, yeah. God, I'm so jealous that your uh live in a neighborhood where you could go trick-or-treating i grew up in the middle of nowhere and so my mom had to drive me to houses that were each 20 minutes apart and two of them were related to me and so i never got to like

go and and they knew we were coming how middle of nowhere did you grow up i grew up on a dirt road on a sod farm and there it was just grass a sod farm is a farm that grows dirt it's exactly and we're going with that and yeah it was uh every the closest houses were all 20 minutes away. We were just kind of it's kind of scary now that I think about it. It was. Yeah, I grew up in a house that you probably wouldn't want to go inside. If you're driving down this dirt road, you'd be like, that's haunted as fuck and keep going. And really dark. There were no streetlights. So I always wanted to, like, you know, walk door to door and get candy from nice neighbors. But it was just my grandma Betty. How far was it to the nearest, you know, main street?

Like a Walmart? Where did you go to the barber? You know what I mean? Where did I go to the barber? Yeah, so I went 20 minutes away. It was 20 minutes away from everything. Yeah, there was this there's a small town nearby and my mom's friend owned it. And that's where we get our haircut. And then the Walmart was like 40 minutes away. So everything was very far, very far away. Yeah. When you were getting, you know, driven to your grandma's house to trick or treat-treat. Were you wearing costumes? I absolutely was. Yeah, that's the thing. When you were a kid, your parents, or I mean, my parents kind of decided for me, like I was a Native American one year, and everyone

thought I was Cher. And I didn't know who that was. Listen, I would go with Cher unless you want to be canceled. I just canceled you in my head. Sorry. I know, I know. This is, it had to happen sometime. I had to cancel share just to be safe yeah let's cancel meatloaf for that duet they did together is meatloaf still alive i think

he is canceled but i'm not sure okay he seems like he would be he has big cancel vibes what else i was a cat i mean i was just the normal stuff for halloween it was a barney a couple of years we reused the costume the cat is i'm sorry that's too far you're canceled jesus fucking christ yeah sorry you were barney for a series of years sixth seventh and eighth grade i was barney for like i would say from five to seven years old, I was Barney. And I loved it. One time in college, I went to a pretty wild party as sexy Barney. How is that different from regular Barney? There's a whole cut out of the crotch.

So one testicle was hanging down. I didn't actually do that. Guys, I googled Lady Barney because I couldn't remember what the Lady Barney was named. Dinosaurs. Bebop? Baby Bop. Baby Bop. Bebop.

Oh, my God. That's the Selena song. Yeah. I think Bebop was a shredder henchman from Ninja Turtles. And DJ, right? The yellow one? BJ. BJ.

Okay, okay. BJ only appeared on the show starting in 1993. So it's a little later in the show. Blair, do you have kids? I don't have kids, no. Jessie, maybe you'll be able to tell us. Is Barney still a thing? Is there like a CGI Barney

where he skateboards or something? Blessedly, no. Barney is like one of the only things that is not still around because Barney hit. Jordan, you and I are a little too old to have watched Barney in our own childhoods. Blair, maybe you're in the appropriate age group. I'm not sure. who are seven and 14 years younger than me, they were Barney-appropriate aged, especially my seven years younger brother, John. And Barney is truly, it was truly excreble.

I mean, it was worse than Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, which is horrible. Like it really, it sort of redefines how awful a thing you can get a child to watch. It was really rough i mean i've watched i've watched a lot of paw patrol which is terrible but it's not nearly as bad as barney what is it for you is it the is it the dancing is it the song, the spontaneous song? What is it? It looks like it's produced by a local community theater group. It is just profoundly inane. Barney is awful. It's just horrible.

Are you learning anything? Are you learning how to count or what the vowels are? Yes, you're learning a lot. Really? I learned how to make a guitar out of a Kleenex box. Whoa, cool. That's useful. Exactly. You know, Barney likes many different foods such as fruits and vegetables, but his main favorite is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of milk. That's classic. Who doesn't like that? That's one of the character details of Barney in what I'm going to say. That's like one of the top five details available about Barney in the

Barney Wikipedia page. So that he likes many different foods such as fruits and vegetables, but his favorite is a peanut butter jelly sandwich with a glass of milk. So Blair, were you sound like you were a Barney kid? I was a Barney kid, and his favorite bread is pumpernickel bread. He has a whole song about it. Seems like you should update that wiki. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does it not mention pumpernickel on the wiki? No, it says that he likes to quote things as being super de-duper. Well, that's neither here nor there. His theme song is Barney is a Dinosaur, whose tune is based on Yankee Doodle. It goes, Barney is a dinosaur from my imagination.

Something, something, something, something. What is it? Something. It's a cold take, but Barney fucking sucks. Okay. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. So, Blair, did you have to travel a long way to go to school? Yeah, I did.

Well, so it was, again, 20 minutes away. But the bus, I was the first stop on the bus. And so I had to, like, my grandma drove the bus, actually. So she would pick me up on the school bus. And then I had to sit there as we picked every other kid at the school. I had a really tiny school. And then I'd go to school. I had a really tiny school and then I'd go to school and then I was the last stop on the way home. So it felt like, I mean, it was like

an hour ride. Was that good or bad to know the bus driver? It was fun. My grandma was, um, now that I think about it, she would do stuff that I think she, I mean, anyone would be fired for now, which was like, she would stop the bus on the side of the road and tell a scary story sometimes and i don't know why she did that oh i immediately thought for some reason my mind immediately went to she would stop the bus on the side of the road uh climb out and take no listen she's picturing a grandma being like sorry guys you can lead a horse to water. I had one that did that, actually. Because after my grandma stopped, she retired from bus driving. Miss Laverne took over. And Miss Laverne would very often stop on a dirt road, on the side of a dirt road, and go into the weeds and pee.

And we just sat there in the bus. And she trusted us to do that. Miss Laverne sounds dope. Because Miss Laverne knows how to party. Yeah, she's dead. What did she die of? Who knows? Write in and tell us.

I don't know. I'll have to ask my mom. But yeah, she would do that a lot. She had an overactive bladder and she was mad every day. God bless her. How many total students at this school? I don't know how many total students. I had 64 people in my graduating class.

That's small. That's not too tiny. Yeah, no, it's not Anne of Green Gables. I was picturing one busload for the entire school. Oh, no, no. We had, you know, buses. We had buses, but it was pretty small. We all knew each other.

Was this in Georgia? Mm-hmm, yeah. Was this in Georgia? Yeah, it's in a place called Ellaville, Georgia. It's near Plains where Jimmy Carter resides and is from and will always be. Oh, was Jimmy Carter like a big, you ever see Jimmy Carter around? Yeah, he's still around. And he, yeah, he was very active in the community. He like would ride his bike around and his security detail would follow him.

On their tricycles. I heard he got canceled after that duet he did with Cher. People forget. People forget. Did you start doing drama and theater stuff in school? Is that what got you into creativity or did that come later? Yeah, I did drama in high school and then studied theater in college because I was a dumbass. And then I did.

Yeah, jokes on you. And yeah, I mean, it was drama in high school or some sport and I didn't love a't love a sport so it was drama for me and yeah I guess that's what got me into that that and my never-ending need for validation I'm unfamiliar with that myself I'm fully self-validating when you look back do you have like a role that you look back on as being like that was it that was the peak of my high school theater career i do but i don't want to say i do sorry you paused too long you could have just said no but you kind of made a meal of it so sorry i forgot what the play was okay oh god it's called

taxi no this is so bad i don't know why and it wasn't even that long ago god okay so um yeah and when i play and i'm my senior year was there when i play competition and i won best actress we went best play like we went to state it was very exciting but the role i won for was a holocaust survivor in the play, I Never Saw Another Butterfly, which is about children in a concentration camp. And, yeah. And I don't think I'm ever going to say that again, actually. I haven't thought about this in so long.

I don't know why we chose that play. I'm always blown away by why, because, you know, you're in high school. You're just, unless, you know, whatever, you were a child actor or something. This is the first, like, you're performing you're doing. Why we foist Shakespeare and Holocaust dramas onto 13 and 14 year olds.

Like, make them do something about a high school you know like bye-bye birdie bye-bye birdie's great you know maybe you get some of them have to be gangsters but like yeah the fact that you you make someone who has never been on stage before do that kind of like intense dramatic work seems uh wrong if you want to do dramatic stuff should do stage productions of degrassi episodes yes right i could never get into degrassi there were too many characters for my brain then uh they used uh degrassi was on television i was too old when Degrassi started, but Degrassi Junior High, which had preceded Degrassi, was on daytime public television when I was a kid. And I watched a fair amount of Degrassi Junior High. And in direct contrast to my much beloved Voyage of the Mimi,

I fucking hated Degrassi junior high. I could not figure out what the appeal of it was. And I think it's because it was a soap opera and I was watching it one episode at a time. Uh, like I wasn't picking up cause it was only when I was homesick. Um, so yeah,

I feel like, I feel like my memories are haunted by Degrassi. So Degrassi junior high came before Degrassi? I think so. I believe it did. That's so weird that they went and why didn't they just haunted by Degrassi. So Degrassi Junior High came before Degrassi? Yeah, I think so. I believe it did. That's so weird that they went, why didn't they just call it Degrassi and then the next Degrassi would be like Degrassi High?

Yeah. And weird, weird, so strange that before any of these was Degrassi Babies. Starring Lil Drake. And they literally, they literally went completely sequentially I actually I have to say I didn't discover it until

I was in college and I had broadband but I did like Degrassi parents fucking I did like that shorter episodes yeah my only memory of Degrassi was like being a kid and turning it on

for a few minutes and thinking it was saved by the bell and then being confused when someone would like get caught with a gun oh my gosh i'm like what happened to this show oh it's the other one it's the okay this is not about a friendship bracelet sale gone awry this is someone lost a baby like someone had a miscarriage there's been a terrible accident that's awful for 30 minutes i can never yeah there's so much going on in that show is that show still on i bet that show's still doing something i i imagine so i think. All those Canadian television shows are still running, I think. Littlest Hobo,

Today's Special. These things, they just run forever in Canada. Yeah. It ended in 2015. Degrassi did? No, Degrassi. Pour one out for Degrassi.

Do for a reboot. Reboot it. That's probably when Drake decided to become a rapper. It checks out. Yeah, that's the exact day. What were your big city experiences when you grew up 20 minutes from the barbershop? What counted as the big city and when did you go?

For what reasons? So, Americus, I guess, would be, that would be, it didn't have a mall. So, Albany was the closest big city with a mall, and Americus had a Walmart. And so, in high school, Walmart was, like, where you would go because it's all you had. And so, you would, we would go to Americus and get, like, cheese fries at Sonic, and then we would go just walk around Walmart for hours oh in america's there was this um this club for teenagers called jc pineapples it was a christian club jc pineapples it sounds like jesus christ pineapples, it sounds like a- It stands for Jesus Christ Pineapples, if you can believe that.

What? It's a Christian club, Jordan. Jesus Christ is the son of God in that religion. It sounds like it would be a clothing optional resort for Jimmy Buffett fans. You go down to J.C. Pineapples when you want to see another sunburned man fuck your wife i mean that's basically what it was right oh my god oh my god i mean there was fucking happening inside of jc pineapples for sure yeah and your parents did not have to be there

for any of it because there is this guy at the door and, you know, he would your parents would drop you off and you would kind of like wave at them and they just fully trusted this man. And then you were just inside and it was lawless. It was like a while. So what was the average age of a JC Pineapple attendee? Oh, no. I would say 13 years old to 7, 18. I mean, there were definitely some like 22, 23-year-old creeps in JC Pineapples. And the man outside as well. The bouncer, if you will.

And yeah, but I would say average age, it would be 14. 14. What was going on in there? Give us a picture. We walk through the door. We show our ID to prove that we're underage. The creepo outside raises the velvet rope. You walk in.

You could go to the bar and get a soda or a juice drink. And they always had – this was like during the height of myspace and and there were like a bunch of myspace sort of uh hardcore screamo bands like around the area and one of them would always be in jc pineapples playing a show and people would be dancing getting fingered and then um so you would do those things with your friends for a while. And then, you know, after I would say an hour and a half, your parents would pick you up and, you know, you do it all again the next the next weekend. It was very it was dark in J.C. Pineapples. They had strobe lights, though.

And just it was it. The vibe was was very like have you been to a wet seal because it was it might have just been a wet seal and this is really funny it's i mean again i think i think what we're discovering is here there's you know a little bit of an age gap so we kind of have some different pop culture references so you know when i was in high, I was not getting finger to screamo. I was getting finger to swing revival. Just a little bit of a different vibe of what was going on in music then. I'm actually older than Jordan, so I was getting fingered to swing original.

Wow. The servicemen were, you know, they'd just gotten out to just come home and they were our heroes. The Brown Derby was all ages before 8 o'clock. Go in there and...

We used to love the men in uniform back then. Sure. Show some respect Welcome the boys back with a nice fingering Hey there sailor, milk your prostate? You take the two fingers you're saluting with And that's the story behind that classic photo Right She was fingering him And that's the story behind that classic photo. Right. She was fingering him.

JC Pineapple. Was there a cover charge? Yes, $10. So that's another thing. Yeah, your parents had to give you money. Could you get in free if you accepted Christ? Like there? Oh, no, no, no.

That's not how Christianity works at all. I don't know how familiar you are. Were the Screamo bands Christian Screamo bands? Allegedly. Yeah. I mean, they were like pastor kids or like the kids of the strong men that would go to high schools and rip up phone books. Did you guys have that? In the 40s?

No. What? Did you go to high school at a carnival in the 1920s? I'm starting to think I grew up in Wayside. You know how in high schools a bunch of guys in raccoon coats would pile into a phone booth? Right. And you paid two bits to see a mermaid. It was just a monkey sewn to a trout.

Oh, my God. No, this is awful. If this just happened to me, I have to sign up for better help. So these men would come to our school. And we all had to go to the gym. It was an assembly and they would. And I went to public school. Again, this seems like something that should not have happened.

But they would talk to us about the importance of accepting Christ into our hearts and not doing drugs. And this was like a double team thing. And then they would they would they're very strong and they're wearing like like wife beaters, really tight, like spandex shit. And they would, I guess, to intimidate. I don't know why they did this. They would they would rip phone books in half just straight down the middle. And we were like, oh, you know, and then we got saved that day. And I Christ is so powerful.

Exactly. Brother. And now a band where one guy sings and one guy screams you guys didn't have the strongman they were called the strongmen what the fuck so i'm just gonna recap this for the at home listener right at your public high school christian strongmen would come in singlets and tear phone books in half in the name of Christ. You are correct.

I mean, I think we've all had that happen. It's a universal experience. Right. Like coming of age. I feel like I need to report the school because, okay, all right. Well, did you guys have ghost out i don't think you had ghost out either ghost out was um a drunk driving awareness thing and the sheriff would come to the school dressed as the grim reaper i i vaguely remember something like this. Do you?

I do remember like an assembly where certain students were cast to play drunk driving victims. But did they pull them out? Because they they plucked us out like they would let you know that you were chosen the day before. And then the Grim Reaper would come the next day just randomly and he would like pick you out of the classroom and then they would do your makeup. They would put like stage makeup on your face to make you look dead as fuck. And then you had to go back inside the classroom and no one could talk to you for the rest of the day because you were supposed to be dead. And then if you were one of the dead ones at the assembly, you had to read a statistic and then your friends would come up to you and be like, I guess I would be pretty sad if you died. And that was ghost out.

And you got a cup. Wow. Like an athletic cup? Had nothing to do with it. Yeah. No, but I still have my ghost out cup. Ghost out happened. And you're not going to take that away from me.

I'm questioning everything. We had something like this, but I don't think it had the element of a elected official coming in dressed as the Grim Reaper and pulling kids out of class. I think it was just a skit. Man, it would be awesome if elected officials in the city of san francisco where i grew up just just supervisor tom amiano dressed up as the fucking grim reaper and showed up gay stand-up comedian tom amiano dangly earring wearing San Francisco supervisor and eventual mayoral candidate just dressed as the Grim Reaper. You know who I knew? The closest I have to this is I had kind of an extracurricular mentor who was in this thing called the Sisters of the Perpetual Indulgence. What?

Are you familiar with this? Absolutely not. It's a bunch of drag queens that dress up as nuns, but they're only sort of drag queens. It's gay men dressed as nuns. I mean, they're gender bending, obviously, but they're not all like drag queens by avocation. I think just some of them just think it's funny

to dress up as a nun. A lot of them have giant beards and stuff. But this guy, Huntley, he was the pope. Pretty good. Yeah, he was called Pope. I'm trying to look up what his pope is called because he had a special pope name. Pope Dementia the Last. And they would come to your school?

Alias Papal Smear.ear yeah was this like an assembly did they talk about you know not playing around in abandoned fridges and stuff we this was like we had this thing where on on weekends we would go to a matinee of like an art movie and he was one of the sort of like teachers of it and so yeah it was it was him and this other guy and then we would have charcuterie sounds like a fun afternoon yeah it was fucking great we got free opera tickets sometimes too it's basically the same jc pineapple was jc pineapple's tropical themed for sure yeah was there a pope there also have its own did it have its own no pope um definitely yeah it had um those neon palm tree uh like wall hangings um yeah lots of lots of palm tree decor uh i feel like the logo was just

have you ever been to pineapple willies that's another thing I'm probably making up. It's like a seafood restaurant in Panama City, Florida. And it's just a pineapple. It's just a pineapple. And he looks like he's stoned out of his mind. And I feel like it was something like that. I mean, there was a pineapple involved, obviously. If you wanted to buy drugs at JC Pineapples, could you?

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Absolutely, you could. Top three JCPineapples drugs. Number three. Oh, God. Well, Adderall, weed, and standard cocaine. It's just standard cocaine.

Yeah, standard, not luxury cocaine. There's got to be some whippets in there, right? Not a JCPineapples, good sir. Whippet. be some whippets in there, right? Not a JC Pineapple's Good Sir Whippet. Oh, sorry. No, no, no. We were so young. Let's take a quick break, and we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Go.

It's Jordan, Jesse, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Not have the power of all the herbs in Switzerland, my friend. I thought there was something neutral about your voice. Plus one of those big fat alpenhorns, you know? Love a horn. Love a giant horn. Auga. You know, every Jordan Jesse Go is supported by the folks who are members of Maximum Fun. All the folks who've gone to MaximumFun.org slash join. We're grateful to all of them. You should if you haven't already.

gone to maximumfun.org slash join. We're grateful to all of them. You should if you haven't already. We're also this week supported by our friends at Sun Basket, the world's only meal and recipe service. Yes, the only one. Co-founded by our friend Tyler from college. That's true.

Yes, that's true. Make sure you listen to the whole sentence before you judge what we're saying. Yeah. But hey, Sun Basket is a great product, especially for now. Here's what they do. If you're looking to reduce unnecessary trips out and you're trying to avoid sold-out grocery stores, Sun Basket, it's a perfect and delicious solution for the times we're living in you get all sorts of fresh healthy delicious recipes for all kinds of dietary preferences including paleo gluten-free mediterranean vegetarian and more i really enjoyed my hoisin steak strip lettuce cups with pickled

daikon and carrots it's a quick pickle jordan you pickle, Jordan. You don't have to put it up for the winter. You just do it real quick for 15 or 20 minutes in your refrigerator or on your counter. Boom, pickle. Boom. The thing that I like about Sun Basket is of all the meal services that we've tried, and we've tried quite a few and I'm, you know, I've generally enjoyed all of them, but Sun Basket is the one that I have found is the most focused on organic fresh produce, clean ingredients, meals that are not about disguising their ingredients, but rather highlighting their ingredients. And I, I've, I've really liked the food that I've gotten from Sun Basket. Yeah. You mentioned those steak strip lettuce cups.

They've also got roasted salmon with miso glazed eggplant, black bean tostadas Diablo with cabbage slaw and guacamole. Uh, yeah, Sun Basket, a great product. And I think that we've definitely heard from, uh, listeners who have tried it and are loving it. I heard from Linda Holmes the other day that she was enjoying a past Jordan Jesse Go guest and Pop Culture Happy Hour host. Linda Holmes was enjoying a pork sandwich.

Hey, there you go. What better endorsement than Linda Holmes? None. None better. I mean, it's much better than Jesse and Jordan. I'll tell you that much. Sure. Nobody gives a shit what we think.

Sunbasket's a great product, and they're offering $35 off your order when you go to sunbasket.com slash JJGO and enter promo code JJGO at checkout. That's sunbasket.com slash JJGO. Enter promo code JJGO at checkout for $35 off your order. sunbasket.com slash JJ Go. Promo code JJ Go at checkout. Sunbasket. We like them.

The only meal service co-founded by our friend Tyler from college. And hey, before we go, I want to mention something really fun, which is I got to live my dream. And I am the guest on this week's Stop Podcasting Yourself. So if you're a Jordan Jesse Go listener, you're not already a Stop Podcasting Yourself listener. You're sort of missing out on what this show could be if we were better at our jobs, more professional, more focused, friendlier, etc. You know, also more Canadian, but whatever. Stop Podcasting Yourself, one of my favorite podcasts ever of all time and one that I listen to every week.

And I was really happy to get to be on with Dave and Graham. So go over to Stop Podcasting Yourself and listen to that. And hey, Sonny D, you made a cameo appearance on a MaxFun podcast this week. Yeah, over at Troubled Waters. They were nice enough to have me on and I had a blast talking Halloween stuff. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Always nice to talk to the great Dave Holmes.

I'll tell you that much right now. Oh yeah, he's, man, he's just the charmer of all charmers. So go listen to Troubled Waters this week. Listen to Stop Podcasting Yourself this week. Just wanted to mention. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, radio sweetheart okay good well you had a good one chambered yeah i was ready might have sounded like i wasn't but and i'm blair skin ghost of jc pineapples

spooky i'm changing mine to jordo lantern oh that's clever it's okay i like that sorry guys i just got i just got distracted looking at the names of the different sisters of their perpetual indulgence. They're in alphabetical order. There's a list of them from Sister Abby Abnormal all the way to Sister Zsa Zsa Glamour. Solid. Here's Sugarbutt. Of course, you got Sugarbutt on there. Got to have Sugarbutt on there.

Sister Maple Syrup. Just Maple Syrup? Just Maple Syrup. there gotta have sugar butt on there sister maple syrup just maple syrup just maple syrup some of them have like sister maudlin mascara is one but then there's also just you know sister camille leon a little less a little less creative but hey who am i to judge i've never been part of any kind of uh you know gender bending bending papal organization. So, you know what? Do your thing. Sister Betty Tastewell self-rising? I mean, I think that's about a penis.

No, I don't. It's yeasty. I think you're projecting, Jessie. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, okay? They organized the original San Francisco Castro Halloween party. Oh, a little bit of history there. Legendary Castro Halloween parties.

Yeah. Many, many, many gay rights marches. Real heroes, the Sisters of the Perpetual Indulgence. Although I can understand how you would be upset if you were a serious Catholic. Sorry about that. Somewhat blasphemous. Catholic. Sorry about that. Somewhat blasphemous.

When something momentous happens to you, 206-984-4 FUN is the telephone number to call. You can also send us a voicemail at jjgoe at maximumfun.org for our segment Momentous Occasions. Here is one such occasion. Hey Jordan, Jesse, and

guests. I'm going to guess Lisa Hanawalt and hi Sunny D. guests. I'm going to guess Lisa Hanawalt. And hi, Sunny D. Close. I'm calling in with a moment of shame. I was just walking my dog, taking him out to go to the bathroom, and listening to Jordan Jesse go. Jesse started telling a story about his friend who worked at Nordstrom. But I live in one of the busiest

streets in Seattle and I couldn't hear Jesse's story. So I was trying to turn the volume up on my phone and somehow hit the correct combination to call the police and my emergency contacts and sound assignment on my phone. So I had to talk to the police, let them know I'm okay. Let my parents know I'm okay. Now I figured I should let you guys know that I'm okay. And now I'm very scared to touch the volume on my phone. I love you. Goodbye.

That's great. Yeah, I think probably the hardest part of that was explaining the podcast to the police. the hardest part of that was explaining the podcast to the police yeah it doesn't really i mean it's from before podcasts had to have a premise it's a very podcast 1.0 thing it's it's not white guys talking it's kind of what people make fun of when they make fun of podcasts but it's pretty good i mean i kind of like it i i initially i listened to it because there weren't any other options but then i came to kind of be fond of them, and I got used to listening to it. So now I do listen to a lot of, I don't know, I guess what you would call good podcasts, but I still listen to this one. This all sounds like a cry for help. The police are like, she's speaking in code. She's clearly on meth.

Take her in. Take her in. Let's take one more call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. This is Ben in Indianapolis, Indiana, calling with a momentous occasion. I just got my first tattoo. And while it is not a picture of your faces, it is nevertheless a momentous and special tattoo to me.

It is to remind me that life is worth living. A year and a half ago, I was in a very, very bad depression, suicidal ideation, all of that. And as I was working with my psychiatrist to try to get medication figured out, he told me, I want you to look forward to anything that will help you keep going. It doesn't matter how stupid it is, a favorite podcast or whatever. I said, really? It doesn't matter how stupid the podcast is? And he said, no, this is a profoundly stupid podcast. And he got a little annoyed with me and said, yeah, whatever gets you through the morning. And so as stupid as your podcast can be, I want to say that there were so many weeks there where looking forward to your podcast coming out was one of those things that kept me going no matter how stupid it seemed

on the surface. So thank you for that. And anybody out there who is in the same place, know it's okay if that is the thing that's keeping you going. Looking forward to Jordan and Jesse and inevitably Steve Agee or whoever. And also know that it is worth going on because the world would be worse off if you were not in it. So thank you guys for all of the laughs and everything. So I wasn't really paying attention to that call, but Sister Flachelina Grande.

God damn it. Sister Flachelina Grande was initially inducted by Cardinal Anal Receptive. There's a plume of white smoke over JC Pineapples. We've chosen. They have chosen. Thank you for the call. Really glad to hear

caller that you you're feeling better and sorry to hear you were having a rough time that's no excuse to take shots at the show we know we're aware we've done this show for over 35 years you think we don't already

know how stupid it is that's for us to say us say it's dumb you say oh i you should get the thurber award for american humor why do they keep giving john stewart polk awards when we could give you a polk award i almost said Lovitz. I'd like to see John Lovitz get a Polk Award. Yeah. For that part in A League of Their Own where he says he's going to give his wife a little pickle tickle, which was the funniest thing in the world to me when I was nine. Man, you know what?

You're not wrong. Yeah. My favorite John Lovitz is in, what is it? When Harry Met Sally? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's You've Got Me All. He's like, she doesn't have any cash. I don't know the movie, but I can imagine Lovitz saying that.

And I'm laughing. I'm Lovitz-ing it. Yeah. He was made for that role. One line. And You've Got Me All. Final answer. Beautiful.

Sister Tammy Faye bakersfield that's fun it's hard to kind of nail down maybe there's i mean maybe there's i want there to be like a naming convention here but i think it's just kind of whatever i mean what do you think is better naming yourself as a sister of the perpetual indulgence or picking your roller derby name yeah with the roller derby names i I'm not saying that I like them better. I'm just saying that there's a logic to the roller derby names that maybe I'm not finding here.

Well, Sister Helen Wheels is almost certainly also a roller derby competitor. That's a twofer. There's some crossover. There's some crossover in this world. Sister Helen Wheels, by the way, acting superior mother of the Daughters of the Divine of the divine eruption

whoa that's a whole different website yeah daughters of the divine eruption isn't that nice without equality and blue eyeshadow nothing else matters it's a beautiful sentiment beautiful 206-9844-FUN jjgoe at maximumfun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica. Go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi. Are you someone who thinks that when one door closes, another one opens?

Someone who always sees the light at the end of the tunnel. If you answered yes to one or both of these questions, good for you. We are not those people. Nope. I'm Annabelle Gurwitch, and I'm a, you know that other door opening, it probably leads to a broom closet kind of person. And I'm Laura House. When I see a light at the end of a tunnel, I assume it's a train headed right toward me.

Laura and I have created a brand new podcast for people like us. It's called Tiny Victories. We're sharing personal tiny victories or things we've read or seen that inspire resilience. So if you're looking for a tiny reason to get out of bed each week, subscribe to Tiny Victories. Available on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's get tiny. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. We interrupt the podcast you're listening to to tell you about another podcast.

That's right. We got this with Mark and Hal. That's correct, Mark. This is Hal. We do the hard work for you, settling all of the meaningless arguments you have with your friends. So tune in every week on the Maximum Fun Network for We Got This with Mark and Hal. And all your questions

will be asked and answered. You're welcome. All right, that's enough of that. We got this. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Jordan, Jesse Goh,

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, more detective. Blair Skin, I'm still a ghost of JC Pineapples. Blair, what a delight it's been to have you on the program. Thank you very much for coming on.

Oh, thank you for having me. This has been a blast. Thank you so much. So I don't know how Blair showed up in my timeline on Twitter. I don't either. But I actively, first of all, I actively resent anyone more successful than I, which she already is. And I also actively resent anyone who makes content for the internet but isn't me.

But I watched her little videos. They were really fucking funny. They were really good. I was like, God damn it, this is really good. Oh, thank you. Yeah, Blair, you definitely were somebody that fans have wanted us to have on. And it's always nice to hear enthusiasm for somebody. Fans multiple. I've seen one fan very enthusiastic about it on Twitter, and I appreciate him. I didn't know there were multiple ones.

That's exciting. It could just be the same guy with a lot of burner accounts. Yeah, it is one person and then a lot of first names followed by a long string of letters. My favorite. It could just be the one guy. If it is, that's okay though. Maybe it's better that way. But yeah, no, you know we wish we were doing the show in person it's a little more fun you know to be in the room with everybody but

kind of a a fun side effect of having to do the show remotely is we can it's a little easier to incorporate people who aren't in the area code so yeah it's really uh it's been really fun to have you i have had so much fun one day we'll do it in person. This won't last forever. The World Series? Yes, the World Series won't last forever. It won't last forever. It can't. Yeah, it's not cricket. It's baseball.

You can find Blair on Twitter. It's just Blair Erskine, right? It's not a surprise, is it? Just Blair Erskine. Blair has an E on the end of it. And Erskine, you can Google that. It's at Blair Erskine at Twitter.

Blair, did you just have a wedding ceremony? I did have a wedding ceremony. I did. Yeah, I had a COVID wedding. And it was scary. Yeah, we, you know, originally we were going to have like 150 people. I don't know why we ever thought that would be a good idea. And we had like 12 and it was everyone was in a mask and we didn't touch each other.

And it was beautiful and sad and it was wonderful. Wow. Well, congratulations, Blair. Yeah. Congratulations on the wedding. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks.

I appreciate it. We're very happy. I'm very happy. Being married is really cool. It you. Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it. We're very happy. I'm very happy. Being married is really cool. It's for really cool people. Only lame-os are not married. All right, hold on. All right.

All right. Some of us are making a lot of progress on Crash Bandicoot 4, so we all have a lot going on. All doing our best. All collecting quantum masks. I bet Los Angeles Unified School District Superintendent Austin Buechner is married, Jordan. Yeah, good for him. Good for Buechner.

Hope he's very happy with his fucking love and support. Congratulations. He's got his friends calling me now, by the way. Oh, yeah? Yeah, just tell me about different school district stuff. Keep me posted. I get like three calls a week now. I would love to get a call.

Have a son. I mean, got to get a son. Got to get a son. Got to get that son. One more reason to get that son. One of many reasons to get a son. Blair, are you taking time out of your honeymoon to do this show? No, that ended yesterday.

But I would have, though, to be honest with you, I would have. Honeymoon's over. Let's start podcasting. Oh, God. Yeah, he's a big fan, so you maybe should have. I mean, I'm a big fan, too, but he. Of the Buffalo Bills. Exactly.

Thank you. Love that Thurman Munson. Wait, no. Thurman Thomas. Thurman Munson was a catcher for the Yankees. That's what I was going to say. Damn it. Well, anyway, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer.

Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. Wonderful song, wonderful band, wonderful record. Kites Are Fun, the best of The Free Design. You should go buy that. Well, I still get, Jordan, I still occasionally will get a tweet or an email that says, hey, I went and bought this CD that your theme song is on. It's really good. It is really good. We're not just grateful to them for letting us use it. The Free Designer are an amazing group.

No, it's awesome. Kites are fun. The best of the Free Design. All still in rotation in my home. A wonderful album. Great. Great record. We are on Twitter at Jesse Thorne at Jordan underscore Morris.

Hashtag it JJ Go there. We, of course, are delighted to hear your corrections to the content of this program. If I call Dr. Octopus, Dr. Octagon accidentally again, for example, which I probably did at some point since that character came up. Why not tweet your corrections? At J.D. Power. At J.D. Power is where to send those corrections. You can find us on Reddit, MaximumFun.reddit.com. We're on Facebook, where you can like Jordan Jesse Go,

join the MaxFun Facebook group. And I think that's about it. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse go. Maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported.