Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 670 Surrounded by the Bakery with Alison Becker

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

Alison Becker (Parks and Rec) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the dramatic and high-pressure video requests Alison has gotten since she joined Cameo, a quiz game from Jordan to see who can guess the going rate of a variety of celebrities on Cameo, and a vital deliberation of the 2021 Power Slogan that we'll no doubt need to help us get through this upcoming year.Check out Alison on Cameo and get a fun message if you want!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Banjo-Laylee Jesse Thorne. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Yeah, that's right, Jordan. In an act of purest self-parody, I have purchased a Banjo-Laylee. Oh my gosh. Does it only play songs about San Francisco in the 90s? I strum it with a bow tie, Jordan.

Oh boy. Yeah, it's my little tribute to former Giants shortstop Jose Uribe. May he rest in peace. I thought maybe you were talking about a beloved Nintendo 64 game for a second. I think some people will understand that.

You're thinking of a Banjo-Kazooie? There you go. Banjo-Kazooie. Nailed it! Herzog Zwei. Okay. I didn't know the Banjo-Kazooie. Nailed it! Herzog's Lie. Okay. I didn't know the banjo-leleys exist. I guess I'm picturing a combination of a banjo and a ukulele, but

I don't want to presume. I've been playing, as you know, Jordan, but some of our listeners might not know. I took up ukulele a couple years ago or a year and a half ago, maybe, because I had seen our friend John Hodgman play it on stage, and I thought, well, I could do that. Sure. That's why you write all that main-based humor,

right? Yeah, exactly. I'm now a main humorist. My books of fake facts are on the bestseller list. And I had never played a musical instrument before. I came to really enjoy it. I've been singing, which I hadn't done since I was a 12-year-old, basically, and enjoying that. And my friend had a banjo-lele for sale. He was an estate sale guy. He had a banjo-lele for sale. He gave me a screaming deal. It had a beautiful little painting. And so banjo-leles are like, it's like a drum head, like a banjo has, and the rest of it is pretty much a ukulele. And it plays louder than a ukulele. So it was used for like, whatever, vaudeville acts in 1915 when they needed a louder instrument and this one is like 100 years old or something and i don't know how to set up a banjo lately so i i i remembered that this guy tom

that i had taken a few ukulele lessons from and smelled like marijuana at 9.30 in the morning, that he had had like a guitar fixing station in the little rehearsal room where I had taken the ukulele lessons. And so I texted him. He texted me back one week later, and I just wanted to share the text with you. He was recommending his colleague. He says, howdy, Jesse. Happy New Year. Steve does the repairs. So if you look up Nomadic Guitars, you can get his number and get some TLC.

Giddy times we're living in. Stay safe and folk on. Whoa. Stay safe and folk on, my friend. So then... Yeah, folk on, folkin' on. So then I went ahead and texted Steve. And Steve was nice enough to set up a drop-off in the parking lot, an outdoor drop-off in the parking lot, which I thought was absolutely wonderful.

Because I don't want to go into a store if I don't absolutely wonderful. You know, because I don't, you know, I don't want to go into a store if I don't have to. Anyway, he texted me and, you know, it was a lot of instructions I'm going to skip. I don't need to give out Steve's zelly information. But he said, please help me make this smooth and fast. I'll be working out of the blue conversion van with the wolf on the spare tire in the abc lot oh no this is my best plan one day y'all will get to hang in the shop like the olden days have a great night higher we climb wow it's good it's

good that he specified it was the conversion van with the wolf on the spare tire otherwise you might have gone to the conversion van with the wizard on the spare tire and then then your shit would have been all fucked up excuse me all folked up who knows i might have gone to the conversion van with the aztec warrior and la malinche on the side boy yeah you know there's a lot of conversion vans in this rehearsal parking lot you gotta be clear you gotta be clear when you're texting. Well, that's great. Is the banjo lately, does it play more like a banjo? I guess my question is- You play it like a banjo. I don't know how to do claw hammering or whatever it is that Steve Martin does. You know, Steve Martin, king of the banjo? King of the banjo, sure. I guess he is really king of the banjo. Could you imagine being Steve Martin and being like, I'm going to focus on the banjo?

Yeah. And then art criticism for a while, I think. Yeah, I think that's right. He's like, I have an excess of genius and compulsion to practice things. So are you learning to play a whole new instrument? No, it's basically the same instrument in a different shape. And I basically just bought it because it had a pretty painting on it. But I also got to check out that sweet conversion van. Do you think you could get, if you get tired of whatever painting is on it, do you think you could get Steve to throw a sweet wolf on there?

Yeah, I think that's probably... I think Steve can handle that. Hell yeah. Yeah, Steve can handle it. That motherfucker. Steve can fucking... Folk on. Yeah. Steve can handle it. That motherfucker. Steve can fucking. Folk on, buddy.

Folk on. Folk on. Should we introduce our guest on the program? I would love to. Our guest is a beloved regular on Jordan Jesse Go, a friend of ours. She is an actor. She is a writer. She is a hilarious woman about town. The great Alison Becker. Hi, Alison. Hi, friends. How are you?

I'm glad to hear you. Yeah, we're hanging out. I have to say, I've been on this show probably 750 times, and I never know if I should... I'm always laughing. I'm always holding in laughter when I listen to your intros. And because I don't want to like spoil the surprise that there's another person here. And then I'm like, they, people know, people know. Yes, it's in the episode description. Yeah. If they can read, they know I'm here. So i don't know why i do that to be fair a lot of parents do play the

podcast for kids to teach them how to read okay that well i feel better than hi kids i apologize in advance for all of my curse words and inappropriate uh just hey if you want to say fuck just say folk folk on friends no allison i, I mean, you know, there are Jordan Jesse Go guests, there are Jordan Jesse Go faves, and then there are Jordan Jesse Go legends. And I think you are firmly in the legends camp. And I think that when you have become a legend, you can not only laugh, but you can talk during the intro. Wow. Well, now you have to have me back so i get to do that during the intro oh yeah yeah the next the next intro just just completely start fucking shit up it's gonna be crazy i won't let you two get a word out edgewise

allison i'd say you're the you're the julius irving of this podcast dr j the legendary dr j this feels great guys i got nothing else going on in my life right now, so this feels real good. Yeah, yeah. We just made things a whole lot more worthwhile for you with legend status. I feel like I should have showered for this. Nah, legends don't have to shower.

Legends be stinking. I think we just found our new t-shirt jordan legends be stinking i mean let me tell you this right now tom's a fucking legend that guy be stinking oh sure there you go uh allison i wanted to uh ask you about something that you've been doing on the internet recently this sounds bad yes it it does uh if you hopefully the podcast doesn't cut off right there um hopefully it keeps going so i can explain myself uh i have been uh really into the uh idea that you're you're doing Cameo, the shout-out app. Mm-hmm. Oh, when you told me this, Jordan, I'm sorry, Allison,

but when you told me this, Jordan, I assumed she was doing Cameo, the 1970s and 80s funk band. That is, no, you're correct. That is exactly what we're talking about. Well, word up. Yeah, well, I misread some of your twitter posts then yeah i guess uh allison just dropped a bomb on you jordan surprise that's the gap band sorry side note i uh did a little research for a cameo uh segment we'll get to a little bit later no one from the band cameo is

on the app cameo what the fuck money on the table they're leaving money on the table where are you larry blackman but yeah i'm on the app cameo if you don't know what it is it's like an app where you can request uh personal videos from people you might know from tv or movies or music or whatever um and there's a lot of like fun people on there. There's a lot of people that I want to have a cameo from, but most of them are too expensive for me. It's mostly, you mostly want to get a birthday wish from Red Sox legend, Roger Clemens.

Exactly. I love you like I love juicing. But at $2.50 a pop, it's kind of heavy. You got to save up. So, yeah. So, what have people been asking you to do? Like what kinds of cameos have you been doing? I got to be honest.

I was hesitant about it at first. And now I'm really enjoying it. I intentionally keep my price low because, like I said, a lot of them are expensive and I want people to be able to get them if they're like a fan of Parks and Rec or stuff. But mostly it's like birthday wishes, holiday wishes. Sometimes it's like graduation, things like that. But I have gotten a couple of like really intense ones.

Do tell. Okay, the two that were the most intense, one of them was like, I work at Long John Silver's and I have to fire my partner who also works at Long John Silver's. What? Can you fire him for me? No. And I was like, oh my God.

Because usually I try and make them light and funny, but I was like, I feel so weird doing this. And it could have been a joke, but I don't know. So I had to treat it seriously. Wow. Usually I draw the line at Applebee's. Yeah. Yeah, I'd fire somebody from Red Robin.

I mean, come on. Or Claim Jumpers, yes. Get out of there. Yeah. But no, when you got that Long John Silver's golden parachute, you don't want to let it go. Is Claim Jumpers a California? You got that Long John Silver's Golden Parachute. You don't want to let it go.

Is Claim Jumpers a California? For people listening around the globe, Claim Jumpers is a chain here. I don't think I'd ever heard of it before moving here, though. I think Jordan and I have talked about Claim Jumpers an inordinate amount because when my grandparents lived in Jordan's hometown of Mission Viejo, California, they always wanted to go to Claim Jumpers for lunch or dinner. I'm going to willingly share my ignorance by saying I don't know what the term Claim Jumper refers to. I could guess, but I don't know what it is.

That is when a prospector tries to steal another prospector's claim. Of land? Yeah, of land to prospect. A gold mine or a river to pan in. I thought it was something like that. I thought it was like yeah, like you're just

you're stealing. I thought it was some old-timey land reference. But I didn't know. It's like the prospector equivalent of cattle rustling. So why would you name like fried onions after it? I don't know. Why not? You get yourself some fucking gold pans and make a day of it.

Yeah, you eat out of like gold, like they have a famous salad bar, you know, where they give you a chilled plate shaped like a gold mining pan. Wait, is this a bit or are you serious? No, not a bit, not a bit. What? Yeah yeah it's

a gold rush themed restaurant and i it was definitely my are like you know good report card place growing up fucking theme restaurant yeah it's a gold rush themed restaurant that has a famous salad bar and like giant prime ribs. Do the servers wear costumes? They wear kind of like an, like it's vaguely costumey. All right, I'm not as excited anymore. I know, it should be like overalls with no shirt and they should be barefoot. Straw hats.

I remember, Jordan, and correct me if I'm wrong, but my memory of it, and this is 20 years ago now, but my memory of it is that it was less of an applebee's like you go to applebee's and you're eating it and you're like fuck this sucks and more of an outback steakhouse where you're eating it and you're like this is fine this will do yeah i mean i i always remember liking it they have you know their thing that i always got as a kid was they had like a baked potato soup that for some reason

I liked as a kid. Because of the cheese in it. Yeah, exactly right. It's basically a hot cheese delivery system. It was just runny mashed potatoes and they're like, baked potato soup? Yeah, they're like, it's soup. There you go. They're like, we don't

think these people will eat something called fondue it sounds too european right um yeah and you know they have some they have some like challenge desserts they have like the you know chocolate mother load cake um you know stuff like that so yeah i i had pretty fond memories of claim jumper and i uh i worked near like the only one in la for a hot second it's in burbank it's like attached to an office building or something i've seen it i've seen it yeah and uh i one day i was like this will this will this will be fun i'm fun i'll go eat at claim jumper alone so uh well you don't want anybody jumping your claim. No, you got to save all those sweet, cold pans for yourself.

So you took off your shirt, you put on your vest, you cut your pants off at the calf, and you went, ah. That's kind of how I imagine it. Was it hilariously depressing to eat a claim jumper by yourself? Boy, it was a bummer for nine reasons. So they have really- First of all, it was September 11th. Yeah, sure.

And I just watched it unfold on TV. I watched irony die before my very eyes. So they have really, or at least the one in burbank that i went on had really like fucking slashed the theming like the theming was basically gone like see that's and i'm gonna blame corporate for that you gotta stay on each franchise you gotta stay on them you gotta have a list of rules exactly um so yeah there was so there's basically no theming. So it did just feel like, you know, I was at like a restaurant in a Marriott or something like that. So, yeah, that was a bummer.

Did you realize as soon as you walked in? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was like, where's the where's the cowboy shit? I yelled. Sir, you're going to have to leave, sir. Yeah. And yeah, so it was just kind of like,

it did feel like just being at a really generic bar restaurant that's in a convention center or an airport or something. But I had a burger and it was pretty good. I remember the burger being pretty good. You know. That's something. Yeah. There you go a claim jumper story that ends with a burger being pretty good wow what a

fucking podcast congratulations you're listening to this good news this is better than usual and again i didn't even shower. Wait, so I want to hear, let's finish this fucking incredible story about you having to fire a Long John Silver's worker. How did you do it? I wanted to somehow make it light and funny, so they had given me the name of the town that it was in because they give you a few little details to make your video off of, and I looked it up and realized that there was a lobster restaurant across the street from the Long John Silver's.

So I just kept telling him to go over to that lobster restaurant and get a job. And every morning stare out the Long John Silver's and been like, you could have had me. But now I'm at this lobster restaurant. So I don't know if he liked it. Yeah, that's solid. I mean, yeah, maybe this is a chance for this, you know, for this former Long John Silver's worker to, you know, move up a little bit.

Sometimes, you know, you need- Yeah, I really hope so. You need to get kicked out of the plane before you can skydive. And the other intense one that I got was not a proposal, but it was right after a proposal. This guy was like, I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. And right after I propose to her on New Year's Eve, I'm going to play this video from you.

And I'm like, I'm like a second, third, fourth dairy character on a show that's not on anymore. Why? This is so much pressure. did yeah what did you what did you end up doing for that I just kept saying this is so much pressure I don't think it was very funny I was just like congratulations I mean at those points you know she was hopefully I was I was basically like I hope you said yes otherwise this video is gonna suck yeah but um but I was just genuinely excited for it. And that's what like, I mean, there's no joke here, but like I, most of these things,

I'm most of these videos, I'm genuinely excited to like share in these moments with people, you know, like graduating from veterinary school or like, you know, seeing a friend that they haven't seen in a while or like celebrating a big birthday. Like they're kind of fun moments to like celebrate with strangers there's only a couple creeps on there not too many which is good i'm sure that the proposal guy had a plan it was a two-pronged plan if she says yes she plays your video if she says no stanley from the office uh yeah it's also funny because like i know i'm like i know i'm no one's first choice like i I'm like, I know I'm no one's first choice. Like, I'm not an idiot. I know I'm no one's first choice on Cameo. I know I'm everyone's like 10th choice where they're like, oh, shit, I can't afford him. He's 200 bucks. I can't afford her. She's 200 bucks. You know, and then they like get to me and they're like, man, I guess I'll take her and I'm fine with it the cameo thing that i remember being the most delightful was the the woman who had mark mcgrath from sugar ray break up with her boyfriend for her oh god i don't know about this

was it amazing oh it rules because he's kind of discovering it as he's reading it he clearly has not seen it up to that point and it's just like you know hey paul this is from kara and uh uh so she doesn't think this is working and he really handles it well um yeah but you could kind of like see him freak out and wonder if he like should be doing it it's it's uh it's kind of amazing um i was gonna ask you if you would like any of those assignments but firing a guy from long john silvers sounds almost worse yeah that was and you're allowed to like you know decline them if you want to any of those assignments, but firing a guy from Long John Silver sounds almost worse. Yeah, that was, and you're allowed to like,

you know, decline them if you want to. You could just be like, no thanks, I'm going to pass on this one or whatever. But I was like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to try and make it funny.

I don't know if he liked it. If he's listening, I'm sorry, buddy. I hope you're working somewhere else now. Yeah, I hope he got that lobster job. Yeah. I got to tell you this. I'm looking at Cameo else now. Yeah. I hope he got that lobster job. Yeah. I got to tell you this.

I'm looking at Cameo right now. $150 seems like a good price for the lead singer of 311. He's very handsome. He's a real silver fox now. Yeah. They've aged well. And he's into positive vibes. Seems like we know what Jesse wants for his birthday. Oh, yeah. we know what Jesse wants for his birthday. Oh, yeah. Hey, speaking of Cameo, I alluded to this earlier. I hung around on Cameo for a little bit and collected a quiz. Collected a quiz?

Made up a quiz. There you go. You're doing great. Thank you. I'm good at this. I swear to fucking God. Excuse me, fucking God. So i uh i thought it'd be fun to uh to do a cameo quiz with the two of you uh brian can we hit that theme music

are you guys are you guys ready for a cameo quiz? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to know any. Yeah, I'm going into this with zero confidence. So here's the rules. I'm going to present you to two people who are on cameo, and you will have to tell me who is more expensive or if they are the same amount.

Okay, okay. Are we playing against each other? You're playing against each other. I have, um, the categories are two your, so there's three rounds. Round one is custom round. I've tailored it to your interests

and knowledge basis. Wow. What a friend. Round two, grab bag. Anything goes, all bets are off, pure anarchy. And then there's a tie. Probably won't even know the names. Then there's a tiebreaker. Okay.

So your options are, yes, you have to tell me who is more expensive or if they're the same price. Jesse, did you close your Cameo window? Are you still holding that app over? I'm checking out the cameo legends right now. David Hader is one of them. Oh, yeah. Past guest David Hader.

You know people want an in-character cameo from Solid Snake. Plus multiple, what I would call top tier Parks and Recreation actors. Yeah, top tier. They're called series regulars.

Yeah. It's an industry term. Allison, have people asked for you to do in-character stuff? Yes. I've done a lot of Shauna Mulway tweet newspaper headlines about people's birthdays. Okay. Allison, you're the guest. So you will decide whether you want to go first or second.

I would like to go second, please. Okay. Jesse, this first one's for you. Jesse, as listeners know, you are a big fan of baseball. So here are two baseball players on Cameo. Who is more expensive or are they the same price jose canseco or pete rose wow now these are i'm going to talk it through briefly these are two of the worst men in baseball history

uh i know that pete rose will sign a baseball with literally anything you ask him to write so he has there are many signed uh baseballs out there by pete rose that say i like i bet on baseball and lied about it or um i don't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. You're fired from Long John Silver's. Yeah. Now, Jose Canseco, of course, is known for being mentally ill and showing up to people's softball games. I'm going to say, who's more?

I'm going to say that Pete Rose costs more. Okay. For an extra point, do you want to take a whack at what he goes for? $145. So, you are right. Pete Rose, more expensive than Jose Canseco. Jose Canseco, $100. Pete Rose, $150.

You were really close. and say go $100. Pete Rose, $150. You were really close. Also, I watched a few of the sample Pete Rose clips. Missing a lot of teeth, that guy. That guy could work at a claim jumper. He has so few teeth.

Take away his shirt and give him a vest. Send him to work okay Allison this one's for you you have a musical interest that I'm maybe not quite sure how you would describe it kind of starts with Bon Jovi right yes

and it was maybe what you would call like hair metal or hair metal absolutely glam rock hair metal yeah so you have the two Like hair metal or hair metal. Hair metal, absolutely. Okay. Yeah. Glam rock, hair metal, yeah. Okay. So you have the two. I'm going to guess who one of the people you have. Okay, yeah, sure.

Absolutely, for an extra point. I'm going to guess one of them is Sebastian Bach, the lead singer of Skid Row. Is that correct? Brian, give Allison an extra point. So yes, Sebastian Bach, lead singer of Skid Row, and Dee Snider of Twisted Sister. Dee Snider of Twisted Sister. Talk it out, talk it out. so yes sebastian bach leads the ring of skid row and d snyder of twisted sister twisted sister talk it out talk it out um okay um i so i've seen i've seen some of sebastian

bach's cameos because i follow him on instagram and he posts some of them on there and they're really funny they're really like weird and just like earnest um i feel like d snyder is more known worldwide i think like twisted sister in my mind was like more sold more albums but i don't know if that's true i could be just that's just my uh a guess fuck they were definitely in more peewee's big adventures yeah like i feel like he made it into the mainstream a little more um but sebastian bach sorry d snyder in in his heyday was way sexier um i'm gonna i'm gonna say they're close but i'm gonna say sebastian bach is more sebastian bach 469 d snyder 200 sebastian bach way more than d way more than d snyder yes all right it's two one allison with the bonus point jesse you can you can tie it up with this one. Jesse, Allison loves music, but you also love to put on some tunes, right?

That's true. Yeah, no, I'll drop the needle on a record from time to time. So there's two musical cameos. One of them you are famous for feuding with. So your former enemy, mentioned earlier in this segment, Mark McGrath of Shutteray. What's the beef? I feuded, well, I had a,

when I had my own cruise, boatparty.biz, I feuded with Mark McGrath who had his own cruise. He never reciprocated my feuding. I really was... Did the Coast Guard get involved? It was in international waters.

They couldn't. They had no jurisdiction. Fair enough. So Mark McGrath, your former enemy, and John Popper of Blues Traveler. Ooh, Blues Traveler. Wow. Famous harmonica guy. This is tough. These are two of Blues Traveler. Ooh, Blues Traveler. Wow. Famous harmonica guy.

This is tough. These are two of my favorite musicians, I would say. They're second and third only to JK from Jamiroquai. I mean, Mark McGrath is extraordinarily handsome. And he hosted entertainment tonight or something um john popper has those harmonica bandoliers um i'm gonna say here's the thing like obviously mark mcgrath is both more handsome and more famous than John Popper. John Popper has the one legendary hit song.

Traditionally handsome. Traditionally handsome. Yes. I mean, Mark McGrath is- There's probably a lot of people out there who would say that Popper is daddy. Yeah, that's true. Exactly, exactly.

I mean, I certainly believe him to be harmonica bay i uh oh no guys bruce willis is harmonica bay okay yeah you can't outbay bruno um but it's not just who's better looking or who's more famous. It's also who has less dignity or more need for income at this time. Yeah. Or. See, that's important. In Allison's case, she's very reasonably priced because she's community minded. And I also should interject that some people donate their proceeds.

Yeah, that's true. Also something to keep in mind. So they could be doing it for charity. I'm going to say John Popper is more expensive. And this is really me thinking myself into a corner because as I said, McGrath, extraordinarily traditionally handsome. McGrath, significantly more famous. handsome. McGrath significantly more famous.

But I'm going to say John Popper is just doing this if he gets a good payday out of it. And he costs like $400. Whereas Mark McGrath does it because he likes connecting with people

and he's more like $200. So the pricing on both of these music superstars mark mcgrath ninety dollars john popper what two hundred dollars jesse you are right your reasoning was was sound your estimates were a little off but that was good reasoning mark mcgrath is only 90 only 90 bucks and he'll fucking break up with somebody for you. That's like very reasonable. That's a great value. He's very famous. It's a really good value.

Yeah, so your cameo buck can go a long way for Mark McGrath. Allison, this next one's for you. You, famously, a dog lover. Yes, oh, I know they have dogs on there. So there are a lot of dog options on Cameo.

Can I guess one of the dogs you have? Sure, yeah. Is it Tuna Melts My Heart? No, no Tuna Melts My Heart. Your choices are... Damn it! Dog the Bounty Hunter. Or Blueberry the Doodle.

The human. Okay, you mean Dog the Bounty Hunter, the human. the bounty hunter the man the man with the reality show and blueberry the doodle who is a dog a doodle of some sort I'm unfamiliar with blueberries work you want to take a minute to search

blueberry the doodle no is blueberry the doodle the one who who talks via buttons blueberry the Doodle? No. Is Blueberry the Doodle the one who talks via buttons? Blueberry the Doodle, I was unfamiliar with. And it would appear from Blueberry's sample cameos that Blueberry barks and then someone inserts a caption that says like, happy birthday or something. Correct.

They are not particularly well filmed. And Blueberry, I mean, i'm not a huge doodle fan but blueberry is a pretty average looking dog wow jordan sorry yeah i went there from what i can tell the main benefit of blueberry is that uh their name is blueberry their name is blueberry okay well only because of name recognition alone. Listen, I'm not going to say I'm the most well-versed in the dog, famous dog genre, but I would say I'm slightly more than average. And the fact that I haven't even heard of Blueberry, I'm going to, until now, I'm going to default to Dog the Bounty Hunter as being more.

Allison, are you not on Doodle Twitter? I'm not on Doodle Twitter. Should I be? It's probably the best Twitter, Doodle Twitter. So who are your favorite famous internet dogs, if not Blueberry the Doodle? I mean, Tuna Melts My Heart is one of my favorite ones. Tuna is a chihuahua who's missing some bones in his lower jaw. So he looks like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.

Wow. So this is from the genre of animal that has an impediment that makes it cute. And I will sit here as a grown, middle-aged woman and tell you that I have, like when Tuna posted pre-pandemic that he was going to be like at some coffee shop I went to the coffee shop to meet him wow what was it like like I drove in person um I brought my dog my dog was very upset did not care about meeting a famous dog um was embarrassed that I was there um it was like they were collecting like dog toys to donate. So I gave them some dog toys and took a picture with Tuna and Dignan.

My dog was furious with me. Still talks about it to this day. Is your dog named Dignan? Yes, my dog's named Dignan. You know, our friend of Jordan, Jesse Goh, Adam Lissagor, aka Lonely Sandwich, also has a dog named Dignan, named Diggy. What? Yeah. I call my Dignan Diggs.

It's always nice to hear about a canine lawn wrangler. Yeah, exactly. The lawn wranglers. Allison, once again, if you need that, if you need those two options. Oh, I'm going with Dog the Bounty Hunter. So, Dog the Bounty Hunter. Final answer.

$200. Blueberry the Doodle, $20. You are right. Dog the Bounty Hunter costs much more than Blueberry the Doodle. Yes! $20. Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty good value. I mean, it is just a dog barking and then someone putting a caption, but I mean, you know, if you're... Yeah, also, also that's money that's going straight into the treat fund yeah there you go you know that dog doesn't have to pay for gas rent it's just treats if they're shooting a new video every time uh i'm impressed like if they're not just putting new captions on the same pictures of this dog barking the way the app works i don't think you can maybe maybe you can. I haven't been able

to figure that out. To upload things, I think you have to shoot a new one every time. So there you go. Okay, Jesse, this next one's for you and this is part

of the anarchy round. Okay. So no, these two things. Anything goes. Anything goes. There's no relation. They're not custom made at all.

It's just pure anarchy. Got it. Your first cameo person is lil mo mozzarella who is a stand-up comedian who i think his catchphrase has to do with throwing bread at people so that's choice number one lil mo mozzarella and blaze your dead homie Lil Mo Mozzarella and Blaze Ya Dead Homie. That's a second tier Juggalo rapper. The Juggalo affiliated rapper. So Lil Mo Mozzarella and Blaze Ya Dead Homie.

Talk it out. I mean, I described Blaze Ya Dead Homie as a second tier Juggalo rapper. If you exclude the Insane Clown Posse, I think Blaze Ya Dead Homie might be the absolute top juggalo rapper. If you exclude the Insane Clown Posse, I think Blaze Ya Dead Homie might be the absolute top juggalo rapper, at least among rappers who don't have non-juggalo careers. Like I think Tech N9ne has some kind of association with the ICP. And like Haystack had a little career before the ICP.

But I think Blaze Ya Dead Homie is the top clown-only rapper that's not the ICP. So that's genuinely impressive to me. Lil Mo Mozzarella, of course, comedy legend, made his debut on Ed Sullivan. Everyone remembers where they were when that happened. No Googling, Jesse. And, I mean, who can resist a cameo from a performer who has a signature visual element, such as bread throwing? It's like Gallagher.

Yeah. One of the sample cameos I watched, he told the birthday boy that if he doesn't have a good birthday, he'll throw so much, I'm paraphrasing here, I'll throw so much bread at you, you'll think you've been surrounded by the bakery. Which birthday boy was it? Mike Hanford? I think it was Mike Hanford. Tim Kalpakis, who knows? There's so many great birthday boys. Surrounded by the bakery. So you'll be surrounded by the bakery.

You'll think you're surrounded by the bakery. I feel like there's a lost opportunity for so many puns. Yeah. Allison, don't help him. By the way, there's egg on my face. Because it just occurred to me that Lil Mo Mozzarella was not on Ed Sullivan. That was his father, Big Mo Mozzarella. Right.

I'm going to say, wait, what was the other one besides Lil Mo Mozzarella? Oh, yeah. Blazing Dead Homie. Blazing Dead Homie, who I will mention in his sample cameo, holds up his collection of vintage Sega Genesis cartridges. Sweet. I'm going to say Blaze Ya Dead Homie is around $45, and I'm going to say for $25, you can get Lil Mo Mozzarella. Blaze Ya Dead Homie, $40.

Very close. Thank you. Lil Mo Mozzarella, $50. Jesse,esse i'm sorry you're wrong wow i mean you gotta beat his hourly rate as an sat tutor he's getting 65 an hour for that uh allison you're ahead um i mean you can pull even further ahead with this next one. Let's do it. Your options are adult film performer, Manuel Sky versus Jesus Christ. Our Lord and Savior?

It could be Jesus Christ. It could be someone dressed up like Jesus Christ. I don't know. I'm not a theologian right so they do have like I have seen on there like during the holidays they had like Buddy the Elf but it wasn't sure well so it said Buddy the Elf and then it said impersonator

so just out of curiosity is this Jesus Christ or does it say Jesus Christ impersonator uh it did not it did not specify impersonator so I mean so then it's him let's just go with the fact that it's jesus i have a follow-up question jordan is this the christ of the bible or the historical christ oh um let me see it is oh it's uh the christ as depicted in the kevin smith film dogma got it so atlis Morissette. Alanis Morissette, yes.

Does not say that. Is he a white dude? He's a white dude, isn't he? He is a white dude. Hair like the lamb, the Bible says it. He's not Jesus. Keep in mind that he could be canceled at any minute. He could be.

Jesus Christ, and I forget, who was the other one again? This is adult film performer Manuel Sky, who I will say has quite the unit. Oh, okay. Talking about his crank? I'm talking about the crank, the pipe, the whole deal. I'm going to go a little, I'm going to use the game itself to make a guess here.

Because when Jordan set up the game, he said, which one is more or are they the same price? And there have been none that are the same price yet. And given that this is the last question, I believe he put that in there because there was one that had the answer of them being the same price. Hence, my answer is they are the same price. Jesus Christ, $29.

Manuel Sky, $49. Damn. Wow. But wasn't that a good guess, everybody? It was a great guess. It was a great guess. It was good. You were getting into the mind of the game maker.

I listened. When it came to Manuel's crank, I figured Sky's the limit. Yeah, you should see the crank on this guy. Immanuel's crank, I figured. Sky's the limit. Yeah, you should see the crank on this guy. We do not have Allison.

Allison is one. There's no need for the tiebreaker question, but I do think it's kind of fun. Are you guys okay with a tiebreaker question? Yes. It's going to be a buzz in. Say your name to buzz in. Okay. So who is more on Cameo?

Dave Hill or Chris Fairbanks? So our choices are Jordan, Jesse Goh, favorite stand-up comedian, Chris Fairbanks, and our Max Fun colleague, Dave Hill. And friend. Buzz in if you think you have the answer. I don't know. I don't know. I'm Jesse. Okay, Jesse, you can tie it up with this. I say Dave Hill is

$49 and Chris Fairbanks is $29. Dave Hill, $25. Chris Fairbanks, $40. Jesse, I'm sorry. You're wrong. Allison has maintained the lead and won the cameo game yes

yeah congratulations you I mean as a cameo regular it makes a lot of sense that you would win this listen I know the ins and outs of cameos I'm surrounded by the bakery if you were you're surrounded by the bakery do you think cameo

has ever sent one of their celebrity recruiters to try and convince larry blackman the front man of cameo to join cameo it's wild that there's no one from cameo on cameo maybe i missed them maybe i am you know maybe the like the bass player is on there something and i'm just not putting in the right name but like it it it blew my mind by the way if you're just putzing around the house you can do a lot worse than the best of cameo I put it on for the uh while I was researching this and uh really had a really had a great time I mean everybody knows word up but they've got a lot of other great songs yeah cameo

great band long long history I can I recommend something, Jordan, from Camion? Take a listen to their sci-fi parody song, Funk Funk. Okay. Well, should we take a minute and let Allison bask in her winnings and take a little break? Yeah, and cut a few firings real quick. Yeah. Sure, yeah. We're coming for you, Bennigan's employees. Sorry. Are there still Bennigans?

Yeah, probably. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, kind folks who've gone to MaximumFun.org slash join to support us with a few bucks every month, and we're grateful to every single one of them. Thank you very much for sticking with us through thick times and thin. We're also supported this week by our friends at Libby. Libby is a free app that connects you to e-books and audio books from your local library. Yeah, you can do it on your phone, your tablet, your Kindle, or your computer. Here's all you need, a valid library card from your library. And if there is one thing I know about our listeners, is that you've got a freaking library card. You're proud of it.

It's probably the fob on the keychain. This is a no-brainer. Go to meetlibbyapp.com. It's free. It's just a free app, and you can get all sorts of books and audiobooks. It's great. You know, it's an audiobook that my wife enjoyed that I enjoyed in book form that would make a great e-book as well. Past Jordan, Jesse Goh guest, Susan Orlean's book, The Library Book. Hey, yeah, there you go. That book fucking rules. It's got a lot of good content about Charles Lummis.

For all your Lummis needs. Got a lot of real good Lummis stuff. Yeah, it's all the Lummis you can handle. Hey, Libby, it just works like your physical library. Even if you don't have a library card, you can read samples of any book you see. You simply borrow available books you want and read them, and then they return themselves automatically after your loan expires you don't even have to go to the drop box i mean i like going to the drop box it's fun to drop some stuff

in there you hear it go clang clang yeah um so you know i listen there's nothing against the drop box but this is inarguably more convenient you don't need a drop box to hear clang, clang, clang. You know, clang, clang, clang goes the trolley, for example. There you go. That classic show tune from a play, I think. Meet Me in St. Louis, I think. That might be it. It's got a good chance of being it. Yeah. Anyway, start reading with Libby now. Go to meet.libbyapp.com to sign up. Reading with Libby now. Go to meet.libbyapp.com to sign up.

That's meet.libbyapp.com. We also have a message up on the Jumbotron for Carl in Seattle from John in Tucson. Carl, it's John. Ring-a-ding-dingin'. I got those free brand van tickets. Yeah. Hey, our favorite podcast about dumb runners just missed our dumb runner. Just used our dumb runner. Yeah.

23 years of friendship have gone in the blink of an eye. Thanks for the Xmas gift. I hope we get to visit you in the PNW this year. Love you. Miss you all. Be well, friend. Yeah. What's Brand Van, I wonder?

It says, I got those free Brand Van tickets. Isn't Brand Van 3000 a band? Yes, it is. I googled. Brand Van 3000 is a Canadian hip-hop collective from Montreal, Quebec.

Well, there you go. I'm more of a camper Van Beethoven man. You're a camp Van man, not a brand Van man. Bingo. He's a camp Van man, not a brand Van man. Clang, clang, clang, went the trolley. The name of the group is derived from Swedish liquor, brand Vin, a general term referring

to any type of distilled spirit. Well, that's interesting. Yeah. You can learn a lot on Wikipedia. That's also the original source of the name of the hip hop group, NWA. Oh, that's all really interesting. A lot of fun facts in this ad break. Yeah, a lot of folks don't know that. If you want to get up on the Jumbotron, MaximumFun.org

slash Jumbotron is the place to go. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Alison Becker, still unshowered. Now, it's 2021, guys. And what that means for us is it's time for us to pick our power slogan for the year.

For many years on Jordan, Jesse Go, each year we have picked an inspirational slogan that allows ourselves and our listeners to destroy the year ahead, crush your enemies, destroy and uh destroy and uh terrorize your fears um and become the champion of your own life and uh we just put to bed a pretty rough year i think uh 2021 is is uh well it's not a shot. Let's put it that way. It's got a shot. And I think it's time to consider this. Now, Allison, you were on the show, I believe it was last year, to help us pick a slogan. Yeah, and I apologize for the year. Yeah. Now I feel like it was my fault.

Well, finally, somebody's owning up to it. Thank you. Yeah. Sorry, guys. We accept your apology. Okay. And, you know, this is something that we usually do by kind of talking through some options and ultimately passing a bill by unanimous consent.

ultimately passing a bill by unanimous consent um there was actually in in anticipation of this episode there was a thread on the maximum fun reddit with people suggesting some slogans uh i mean i i can throw out a couple of those that that were most popular sure yeah um uh clone arranger suggested 2021 22 23 i don't know should we should we shut it down that's pretty good i love that that's so funny clone arranger said it's intended to create a sense of unstoppable growth yeah it's really funny uh that actually is what Manuel Sky's cameos are intended. Oh, wow. Here we got Ghetto Body Buddy says 2021 return of the Mac. Which is not the best slogan, but is the best song to hear coming out of a passing car's window.

It's one of those songs you're never sad to hear return to the Mac. Nah. Yeah. What kind of monster is sad to hear return to the, I mean, I guess maybe you have a painful memory associated with it. If you got fired from Long John Silver's while it was playing. Yeah. In that case, your slogan can be 2021.

This is how we do it. 2021 Walton Goggins go on JJ Go. I don't know, maybe a little inside baseball. And a little thirsty, too. A little thirsty. We're nothing if not not thirsty. Yeah, that's from Sergeant Peepaw. Thanks, Sergeant Peepaw.

From Blurikist, 2021, 2021 shit in the submarine that's a potent potent image yeah i kind of feel like synoptico's suggestion which is 2021 to the moon is too deeply associated with 1950s sitcom domestic violence yeah yeah exactly maybe we Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Maybe we cross that one off the list. Yeah. Yeah. DeHulk, bring that energy. Blargable, fuck it, why not? So, yeah, I mean, I think we have some good stuff here, but do we have any internal thoughts on it? Allison, what kind of energy are you trying to bring into 2021?

I'm just trying to get dressed every day. It's like bare minimum. 2021, get dressed every day. It's tough to beat. It's just bare minimum, guys. Boy, I don't know. Is that it? It might be.

Get dressed every day. Every day? I mean, are we excluding listeners who might work at some sort of nudist resort? You're right. You're right. And for professional reasons, they can't get dressed every day. Right. I mean, I guess, although I don't know if the staff at a nudist resort has to be nude.

It's more of just the thought behind the thought. Like, you know, if I haven't brushed my teeth by 3 p.m., which is happening more and more often, I'm like, hey, buddy, why don't you brush your teeth today? Yeah, that'd be fun. That's things that normal people do uh i was gonna suggest i i think i suggested maybe a couple years ago and i think it was it was uh it was shot down if there's anything i've learned from uh working in a comedy writer's room it's if something gets shot down just wait a little bit and then say it louder um so i i was kind of thinking about for this year the idea

of of apps for the table um is being kind of a kind of a mantra i mean i love i mean i just in general have a passion for apps but i think there it kind of implies you know kind of like self-care like you don't need the app it's not the meal but you get it because you want it. You get it because it's fun. Apps for the table. And also kind of a communal spirit that I think- A post-COVID dream. Yeah, kind of a post-COVID dream of being able to sit around an app platter

with a trio of dipping sauces with all your favorite people and just go to fucking town on some onion rings, you know? Should we get some apps for the table? Apps for you know? Should we get some apps for the table? Apps for the table? Should we get some apps for the table? You guys want some apps for the table? You know, we're not ready to order,

but I think we'll get some apps for the table. Let's get the spinach artichoke dip. Yeah. I'd love a blooming onion right now. I'll tell you that. We'll go for a blooming onion right about now, or whatever the fucking jump is. Fucking blooming onion's hella good.

So good. What's the dip? What's the dip they have? It's like spicy and cheese. The dip's great. It's like white, right? It is white. It's weirdly white.

That's a great slogan, weirdly white. That's historically been Jordan Jesse goes. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Jesse, do you have any thoughts about, you know, goals or, you know, energy, something that you're looking for? Yeah, I mean, I've thought about kind of like Phoenix rebirth metaphors. Right. Because I think, you know, having having been a horrible shit pile

we gotta rise up from those ashes yeah exactly can't be wallowing in those ashes and i kind of locked into the idea of 2020 having been shit and i thought maybe uh flowers grow from shit. Flowers grow from shit. That's true. Flowers do grow from shit. But get dressed every day is better than that. Yeah. You know what? Honestly, I am okay to call it.

This could be the shortest discussion we've had, but I think get dressed every day fucking rules and we should do it. Brian, remember how we said we were going to gonna skip calls we'll have to do calls to fill the last 20 minutes of this show okay we are calling it 2021 get dressed every day funny on a t-shirt if you're dressing wearing it is good on a t-shirt

you're right oh hell yeah thank Thank you. I love it. I'm all for it. And next year, I'll just say apps for the table a little bit louder. Maybe I forgot that I suggested it. Just keep saying it louder. When I pitch a joke in a writer's room that doesn't get well received, I just wait for a man to say it, and then it's well received. But you're already saying it. Yeah. And I'm a man. Yeah it and then it's well received. But you're already saying it.

Yeah. And I'm a man. Yeah. So I don't know what, I have no advice for you. I love it. Should we take a break, think about getting dressed and then listen to a call? Yeah, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

Hey, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kalin. Together we're The Flophouse. A podcast where we watch a bad movie and then talk about it. Movies like Space Hobos, Into the Outer Reaches of the Unknown and the Things That We Don't Know, the movie, and also Who's That Grandma? Zazzle Zippers, Breakdown 2, and Backhanded Compliment.

Elvis is a Policeman. Baby Crocodile and the Happy Twins. Leftover Potatoes? Station Wagon 3. Herbie Goes to Hell. New episodes available every other Saturday Available at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts Bye! Bye! is a multi-award winning comedy podcast here on Maximum Fun, and I would recommend you listen to it.

But don't just take it from me. What do the listeners have to say? I would rather stick a corkscrew inside my ear, twist it around and pull out my ear canal like a cork than listen to your stupid podcast ever again. Please stop contacting me. Hell would freeze over before I recommended this podcast, The Beef and Dairy Network, to anyone.

Not in a million years. Actually, stretch that. Make it a billion years. No, how long's infinity? That's the Beef and Dairy Network podcast, available at MaximumFun.org and at all good and some bad podcast platforms. Disgusting. and bad podcast platforms. Disgusting. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Alison Becker, Long John Silver's employee czar. You know, when something momentous happens, we ask you to call us at 206-9844-FUN or send a voice memo to jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Now, we had maybe thought we would skip it, but since we have such a perfect slogan so quickly, why don't we take one of those calls? Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and I'm going to guess my dad. He's not a comedian or anything. That's next week. Just pretty cool.

I'm Nathan. I'm a locksmith. I recently listened to that episode where the guy talked about fixing some locks at the zoo, and it was kind of a weird experience because I recently fixed some locks at a zoo. But that's not what i'm talking about um wait hold on hold on hold on what the fuck what wait our animals is is the main thing that's the main underreported story of the coronavirus era not the lack of federal resources committed to

vaccine distribution but instead animals breaking the fuck out of zoos i mean nobody's looking people are they don't have eyes on them all day so they can just uh they can plot their escapes roam free yeah man Yeah. Man, you know what it is? It's those fucking scheming orangutans. Yeah. Don't get me started on the ibex. Shifty ibex. Fucking shifty ass ibex.

Oh, you don't have to tell me, buddy. Mm-hmm. Okay, sorry. I just, between his dad coming on the show, which his dad is coming on next week, and this thing about... Do we have other Walksmiths? Jesse, I'm sorry.

This guy's dad canceled. He was coming on to promote a Queeby show. We had booked it a long time ago. No one will ever enjoy that quick bite. We booked it a while ago you were so sure they were gonna make it yeah they're not gonna move it over to Crackle

maybe Brian keep an eye on Crackle if the guy's show pops up then ask him back you know Crackle the streaming service that still exists and comes preloaded on everything you buy? It's the U2 album of networks.

Yeah, it really is the U2 album of streaming networks. I think I watched that movie about the runaways on Crackle. Anyway. Yeah, there you go. It's fun. Yeah. Good quality service. Sure.

You know? We don't say bad things about... Crackle, go on, Jordan Jesse, go. Crackle, come on the show. Promote yourself. Break.com. Come on on, Jordan Jesse, go. Let's do this, E-bombs world.

Okay, press play on this, Brian. Okay, press play on this, Brian. I went to help a woman into her car who had called stating that her baby was locked inside. And when I got there, there was a single wrapped burrito sitting on the passenger seat from the baby in the car. And she told me she was worried about the burrito getting cold. And she told me there was a baby in the car so that I would get there faster. Oh my god. Anyway. She should have just said I meant a food baby.

Time out. To some people, I'm speaking as a childless person, a burrito is like a child. Yes. Yes. And you know what? I'm speaking as a father of three. I prefer burritos to my children.

So in her defense, that is, wow. I mean, you got to admire her, I don't know, resourcefulness. Ingenuity? Yeah, exactly. But that's a pretty awful lie because that guy, I mean, Nathan was panicked. Yeah, he thought he could have driven fast to save a life and hurt himself. So don't do that, Nathan. She could have just broken the window.

Yeah, for that burrito. She should have just leaned in and as soon as he opened the door, treated the burrito like a baby. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no. Mommy's here. Mommy's here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's time for her baby. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no. Mommy's here. Mommy's here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's time for her nap. Oh my God. It's leaking salsa. You say that Jordan, like you've never breastfed a burrito. Let's take one more call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse. And I want to say maybe Travis McElroy. I'm Yule, they them, calling from Philadelphia,

and I have a momentous occasion that also feels very much like a moment of shame. My partner and I could hear one of our cats rummaging around under our bed. We hoped this meant he had a toy under there, but eventually we heard a squeak and realized he had found a mouse i got down on all fours to look under the bed and there was my cat with a mouse cornered between the wall and a storage box all of a sudden the mouse ran directly at me and instinctively i punched it wow i punched a mouse to death at 3 a.m while my cat looked on with what seemed like a combination of respect and fear thanks brian uh

write down punch a mouse for potential 2022 slogan. Yeah. They punched it? I don't understand how they got, like, their fist is probably the size of the mouse, right? So can that be even qualify as a punch? Yeah, I think that counts as a punch. It's like a wall hitting you, though. Like, if you're the mouse, that's not really a punch. That's just like...

Can I tell you what I got hung up on in this call? Their name is Yule, which I now realize is Y-U-L like Gilbrenner. Most likely. But in my head, it was 100% Y-U-L-E. And their parents just really loved Christmas. Maybe that's true. That's not out of the question. Yule Log would be a good seasonal drag queen name.

Oh, yeah. And the name of my favorite Manuel Sky movie. My favorite Manuel Sky Hallmark movie, excuse me. Thank you. so my favorite manuel sky hallmark movie excuse me um thank you allison has dignan ever ever like killed for sport has he ever got something he has not ever played the most dangerous game he's tried because he's a yorkie and yorkshire terriers were originally bred to be ratters so when he i mean he's old now but in his days, when he saw or smelled a mouse or a squirrel or a rat, he would just go crazy. Like if it was, wherever it was, he would try and get to it, whether it was in a wall or up a tree or wherever, he would just go insane. But he never actually got one.

But, you know, that's why dogs like take their toys and shake them because they're trying to like snap the neck of a rodent. Right. Yeah. Which is very violent. That's the truth. But it's also adorable. Yeah. It looks like they're having fun.

Snapping the neck. Really cute. Destroying the vertebrae. I feel like I feel bad for Yule because if I were in their shoes, like you do it instinct you do it instinctively, like they said, but then afterwards you're kind of in shock. Like, oh my God, I just killed this creature with my hands. Sure. That's gotta be horrifying. Yeah.

Truly awful. But your cat thinks you are such a badass. Yeah. Way to go. Way to, way to establish the dominion over the cat. Yeah. My dogs have never caught anything more significant than my feet. They do. If I tap my toes, my dogs will attack my toes, thinking that my toes have become a mouse.

But the other day, I did see two skunk friends on the hill across the street from my house. Hey, okay. Little skunk friends on the hill across the street from my house. Hey, okay. Little skunk buddies. You know how skunks walk with their butt shaking? Like, I can make stink from here. Yeah. Look at my little stinker.

Yeah. I do think that the skunk waddle is very cute. I've said that out loud before, and people have... And you'll say it again. And I'll say it again. I think the skunk waddle is cute. I would like to hug one. They have de-stunk skunks on YouTube. De-stunk skunks, huh? It's one of those pets that people who want to have their own YouTube channel buy. Huh. Yeah, and they take out the glands, the smelly glands. I would imagine that

that, I mean, some people might say that that's cruel to de-gland. It probably is. I don't know enough about it, but. But then you can hug them. Then you can hug them like I want to. Jordan, you're not wrong. I also want to hug a skunk. Yeah.

No doubt about it. By the way, speaking of alternative options for 2021. Yes. Hug a skunk. no doubt about it by the way speaking of alternative options for 2021 hug a skunk punch a mouse 2021 is the most positive retrospective i mean hug a skunk is the most positive retrospective 2020 slogan i can think of yeah you're right. Just hug those skunks. So retrospectively 2020, hug a skunk. Prospectively 2021, get dressed every day. Get dressed every day. You gotta do it. If you have a momentous occasion

for us, 206-984-4FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, Go. It's Jordan, Jesse, Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Alison Becker, childless dog mother.

Alison Becker, you got any important projects to plug? Besides, of course, your very reasonably priced and high quality cameo. I am currently writing two feature films, which is very exciting. But unfortunately, I cannot promote them because they're not out yet. They're still being compiled with words. The new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, right? Yes, Ninja Turtles, exactly. Listeners will be excited to know you're doing I think at least one of those with

other JJ Go legend, Kimmy Gatewood, right? I am. I'm doing both of them with Kimmy Gatewood. Awesome. And did the studio pair you guys up because you're both so good on this show? Yes, they did it directly because of this show. They said, we got to get Dr. J and Wilt the Stilt Chamberlain. And both of the movies are about you guys, just so you know.

We're writing the movies about you both. Two both? Is it one about Jordan and one about Jesse? Or are they both about both of us and we go on different adventures? No, they're both about both of us and we go on different adventures no they're both about both of you right right it's like how sometimes like two asteroid movies will come out in a year these are two jordan jesse go movies that written happen to be written by the same writing team it's like when when 30 rock and studio 60 came out the same year yes yeah and they were both

written by the same people one's a drama one One's a drama, one's a comedy. No, so look out for those, I guess, in, I don't know, a couple years. But in the meantime, I would just like to promote wearing a mask. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great idea. I support that. Wear a mask, please. Yeah, I'm wearing a Jar Jar mask right now.

Not that kind of mask. Okay. Oh, I'm wearing a waddo one character from the prequels oh you know brian go back and make it so i say dexter jetster that's funnier um hey while we're talking we're while we're talking things things and watching things uh the tv show i worked on in 2019 earth to ned uh dropped some new episodes on disney plus um yay yeah man and i've i've been watching them and i sometimes don't watch or listen to things i'm involved with but boy i sure like watching this show it's so it's so funny and good i really i'm i'm i'm really proud to have been involved with it.

Yeah, speaking of JJ Go! Legends, Eliza Skinner was the head writer. Nick Weigel was in there. Sierra Cato. Just a great group of people making a really funny, weird show. And it really turned out cool. Yeah, Earth to Ned. Check it out on Disney+.

We want to make more. Jordan, can I offer something here? Yes. I don't want people to think that Jordan is hyping up this show solely out of self-interest that he just wants to get that sweet muppet money he just who those fozzy bucks give me those fozzy bucks that he just wants to cash those rubber space alien dollars the reality of the situation is that earth's net is fucking great uh it's incredible for many reasons it's super funny has super great guests

uh is appropriate for families and is just a technical marvel like an awe-inspiring, the puppeteering in it is so extraordinary. You just are like, it's like watching Stomp for the first time. You know what I mean? The real Stomp. You're just like, what the fuck? And it's critically acclaimed.

It's getting amazing reviews. It's true. It's a great show. Watch it. By the way, go back and edit it in so I say puppetry of the penis. Yes. Yeah, it was one of the LA Times

best shows of 2020. So that was really cool. It was on there with a lot of cool shows. So yeah, it's on Disney+. Give it a shot if you haven't already. There's a cool,

one of my favorite bits is what we did with Lisa Loeb in the episode called the netties so if you uh i want to check that out i think that was a real real fun little bit and if you don't have disney plus jordan's password is just a large inhale guys sorry i know i'm supposed to talk but I'm just thinking fondly about Lisa Loeb. Speaking of sharing your Disney Plus password, around the time Earth to Ned, the first batch of episodes came out, my mom called me and she's like, can we have your Disney Plus password? And I was like, oh, this is really sweet.

My mom wants to watch the show. She supports me. And I was like, yeah, mom, you can have the password. And she's like, oh, thanks. We've been dying to see Hamilton. Mom! She'll get to it. She'll get to it. She's got to do all the Mandalorian.

And then she's going to do a Marvel. And then Soul just came out. And then Soul. And she's going to watch the Marvel movies in chronological order. Not the order that they came out, but the order in which they happened. And each one is 18 hours long. So that might take a while. Yeah. They're long movies. So, you know, she'll get there.

Her cousin's in one of those episodes of that show where Kristen Bell gets a high school musical back together. I watched a couple of those. I like that show. Yeah, I think that's probably pretty good. It's fun. Sounds pretty good to me. Okay, that's it for this week's program. Alison Becker has been our wonderful guest. You can find us on Twitter, at Jesse Thorne and at Jordan underscore Morris. You can find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash JordanJesseGo.

You can find us, you know, elsewhere on the internet. I don't even know. What are we even doing anymore? Just trying to get dressed. Listen, just trying to get dressed over here. Yeah. And if you are a stripper or a burlesque performer, just feel free to mentally substitute in get undressed every day.

I just want to include them too. Yeah, if you work at that nude sexual resort we talked about a couple months ago. Yeah, you can get undressed every day. If you work on the TV show Undressed, is that a TV show? I don't know. Maybe. Sounds like it could be. Unwrapped.

Food Network Unwrapped. Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is the producer of our program. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, Go.