Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 672: The Tonguin' Is Done with Guy Branum

Episode Date: January 23, 2021

Guy Branum (Talk Show the Game Show) joins Jordan and Jesse to talk about how the true test of big strong action stars is a movie where they try to raise children, the recent sea shanty crazy on the internet, and the new remake of Jesse's favorite show All Creatures Great and Small. Plus listeners call in to their own segments we've never done on the show.Watch Guy's Talk Show the Game Show on HBO Max!!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. How you doing, buddy? I'm doing okay. Boy, this part of the show's kind of hard these days, huh? Yeah. The part where we're supposed to, you know, take something from our lives and, you know, start a conversation and kind of get the ball rolling.

It's just like I watched 60 Minutes and it was kind of a bummer. I've taken to putting on Family Feud in the background while I play Hades on my Switch. That's kind of fun. Saw a dog, walked around. Given what a bummer the world situation is, I think at the end of 60 Minutes, just throw in an old Andy Rooney where he's complaining about elevator buttons.

That would be nice. You know, just throw that in there and see how it plays. You know, see if it bucks people up a little. Or how about this? Just get Dickerson to do that. Get Dickerson to complain about You know, just throw that in there and see how it plays. You know, see if it bucks people up a little. Or how about this? Just get Dickerson to do that. Get Dickerson to complain about the minutia of everyday life.

Venetian blinds, hard to open. God, Jay Dick could handle that. Of course, hit Slay. Hit Slay. I mean, you know, obviously it wouldn't be Andy Rooney. He'd add a little Dickerson in there, but you know. Yeah. And then Nora O'Donnell does a pratfall.

One of her famous Chevy Chase style pratfalls. I'll tell you a cute thing that happened to me today. Yeah. I was in the backyard with my son, Oscar, my seven-year-old Oscar. And I can't remember why, but he said to me, Dad, I like was pronouncing things funny or something. And he said to me, Dad, no jokes, no jokes, Dad. And I said to him, Oscar, your father is a professional humorist. And he said to me, I'm funnier than you, Dad. He goes, watch, I'll be funnier than you dad he goes watch i'll be funnier than you right now and then he farted wow he can fart on cue a real fart it was so great

i was so proud of him he also learned to ride a bike today and i think i'm prouder of that fart when you know once you take the training wheels off the fart, that's when... So he can save up a fart to blast when necessary, huh? That's amazing. Congratulations on raising a child with such control, you know? Look, I don't want to call out my own child because goodness knows I love this little boy. That's why I let him live in my house and why I cook him dinner and everything.

But I think the kid is just always ready to fart. I don't think he's saving up farts. I think this is just a kid with a ton of farts. He's in a perpetual state of farting. Yeah, a perpetual state of about to fart. You know, and I know like when you're a kid, you know, you like, you know, you kind of get locked into some foods and, you know, you only want to eat certain things, you know, bean and cheese burrito, chicken nuggets. And it's just so interesting that you've raised a kid whose thing is broccoli and black coffee. kid whose thing is broccoli and black coffee.

I think, you know, now that you mention it, I say always on the verge of farting, it may just be a continuous fart. It might be like a circular breathing thing. A lifelong fart. Just one long. Well, let's get off this subject and get on to the subject of our wonderful guest. He's a stand-up comedian, a film and television writer, a great old friend of ours. Just back from the wilds of Northern California, the one and only Guy Branum. Hi, Guy. Hello. Good to be here. Very excited. My mother has a 10-month-old German shepherd who is doing a similar constant farting sort of circular breathing thing, and I was dazzled by his work. What's amazing about a dog fart? mean this look we're basically we basically admitted that this is like uh america's funniest home videos that our show is america's funniest home videos if

you took away the one good part which is watching someone actually do the thing it's basically we're running a but what amounts amounts to an America's funniest home videos recap show at this point. But, um, I have to say that the amazing thing about a dog's fart is that, I don't know, with my dogs,

my dog Coco is a big farter. Can I, can I just workshop a name real quick for the America's funniest home videos recap podcast? Yeah, of course. America's pottiest home castios does that work for everybody i don't know if we want to guy you're in you're in for this show now

it's going to be a weekly thing we're going to do some patreon stuff for the bonus uh yeah and it will be more popular than this show in two months uh i mean let's face it i think like and there are like four television networks that are currently being sustained by continuously running what is essentially america's funniest home videos and you know what nothing wrong with that i support it are you talking about like the chive that station that just plays in bars no i'm talking about like mtv like the one hit show on mtv is like a skateboard guy yeah oh like with sure right yes uh ridiculousness i sometimes consider restructuring my hollywood career into just uh designing um things that could be moving at people and hit them for japanese game shows that are then adapted for American game shows.

They make money. Boy, that's brilliant. Yeah. Guy, if you can get in on the Japanese version and then get in on the American adaptation of the Japanese version, shit,

man, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a circular money whirlpool that you want to be in the middle of. Yeah. You're going to have to figure out some cross-cultural things that can hit people, though. I mean, you can't just hit people with, you know,

tempura or whatever. That's culturally specific. That's very true. Just hit people with the one thing that everyone around the world can agree on, Vin Diesel. The reference for Vin Diesel is the same in japan as it is here so just find some way to attach him to like a pendulum or um yeah i don't know spin him around i think yeah just get vin diesel to knock somebody off a balance beam and uh you

got a hit on your hands have i ever explained to you guys my connoisseurship for films about men who should not be raising children who have to raise children? Tell us more. Hold on, Guy. Let's talk about this in a second. I just want to say the amazing thing about what happens when a dog farts. Oh, sure. Is that you really only learn it from smell. So it's a pure fart experience.

There's no noises or faces that they're making or whatever you just live the fart you live in the fart so uh let's get back to mr mom here yes i was i was gonna say suburban commando the way that like painters when they are proving themselves all have to do still lifes and stuff i think that every strong man who tries to be a movie star must be forced and essentially it has been true and i would say that the people who most succeeded at their kindergarten cops out there the pacifiers have been the most value to us and anytime a john cena tries to make it through without making a movie where he is a man who is not supposed to raise children that has to raise children i feel like we maybe need sag rules

or something in the academy awards or just something to make sure that this happens i mean it is kind of funny when you look at the poster and like the the kid is so little and the guy is so big. Yeah. So in the Academy, maybe we get this through in the Golden Globes first. So you have best performance drama, best performance comedy, best performance strong surrogate dad. Yeah. Best contrast size. Sure.

Yeah. You know, it's so funny. They do just keep making that movie. Like, I was looking at a list of, like, so I guess they're kind of starting to cobble together a, you know, way to measure, like, streaming audiences. Like, it's been hard in the past because the networks won't release their numbers, but I think they're figuring out some sort of way. numbers but i think they're figuring out some sort of way and um you know they they put out a list of the most streamed movies of the year uh and like number three is a movie called my spy where david batista does that and i'm like wow that like and you know fucking 50 or something is palm springs you know a movie that everyone in our universe saw, but it is dwarfed in relation to My Spy, the David Bautista take on Kindergarten Cop.

My daughter desperately wanted to see My Spy for some reason. I don't know how she found out about it. I don't know. I truly don't know how it entered her. And it's not like to her taste. Her taste is almost exclusively the Mike Myers Cat in the Hat movie. That's kind of a version of this, right? Instead of strong, it's silly. A sillier adult takes care of kids. I mean, I haven't seen the Mike Myers Cat in the Hat, but right. This is a similar product. What's crazy about, no, Cat in the Hat is from a genre called Alec Baldwin in a girdle. It's just like a really intense, stylized girdle.

So we watched a few minutes of it. That movie is like weirdly intense and brutal. Oh, yeah. is like weirdly intense and brutal oh yeah it is it is like kindergarten cop but then there are like full-on intense violence action scenes wow um but i mean those movies i mean guy you're the you're as the expert on this genre they all don't they all kind of like imitate the action movies of the day a little bit isn't that kind of part of them i think so and i for one personally miss when all of our comedies had to have 12 exploding cars like i remember the 1980s we just blew up a car i mean i'm pretty sure when him and sally has just a couple of

cars right and then someone then when someone says i'll flip where she's flipping. It's the ultimate button. People talk about the great buttons of comedy. And the she is referring to the car. I think we all remember the car flips. I'll have what she's having. And, of course, that great apartment. That beautiful loft apartment that has one of those wagon wheel tables.

And Billy Crystal with the beard looking pretty good, right? Yeah. That's just great. I mean, I do love that we made that movie at the last possible moment he could be a romantic lead. Like at the last possible moment and then they tried to make Forget Paris and everybody was like, nope.

It is no longer 1989 or whenever. Everybody's just like, you knew this was a stretch before. Guy, I have questions beyond Strongman Daddy movies. Because I saw you tweeting about something a few days ago and wanted to follow up with you. you tweeting about something a few days ago and wanted to follow up with you. And it was one of those things where it's like, you know how you like are looking online and you're like, okay, I vaguely know that something's going on. I'm like catching this a few hours later, a few days late, but I know, you know, it's like, okay, I know something's going on with Army Hammer, you know, and I'm like, okay, what happened? And so I did this with sea shanties.

So can you seem to know more about this? And I purposely didn't look into it more because I wanted to hear from you, one of the most hilarious guys there is. What's going on with sea shanties i have the same exact experience as you where people were referencing it on twitter and i was like what's going on so then i of course flew to tiktok oh good yes and had to figure out which spelling of shanty we're using um you initially search for hashtag tristram shandy oh sure right uh well sometimes shanty

like in the song sense is spelled with a c uh but they're doing it with an s the young people now um some guy who i think posts um a lot of sort of like irish music and, he did sort of like a solo version of this song, the Wellerman. And then people kept like doing videos where they provided different harmonies to it. So you would get like 12 different people, you know, in this time of extreme separation that 12 people were like in close

harmony with each other, you know uh talking about having uh tea and sugar and rum brought to them um and uh a mythic ship that gets carried off by a whale and to this day is still following that whale um and then it just took off yeah i so i jordan i found it because uh i have have a Reddit app on my phone called Apollo. And on the home screen of it, it suggests every day five different Reddits. And that's how I found, for example, parkour, which is dog parkour. Okay.

What? what? It's like dogs jumping off of walls up onto top, onto the top of walls and, and like running through playground play equipment and stuff. It's really great. That's very exciting. Are they doing, are they trained to do it or is this just like dog zoomies? Both.

Okay. Both. Sometimes it's like full, sometimes it's regular like dog agility stuff, but out in the world. And then sometimes it's just dogs doing a crazy thing. Okay. Because dogs have tiny brains and powerful bodies.

There is a whole, there is a speaking of subreddits and this, there is a whole subreddit devoted to the concept of the zoomies and it fucking rules. It is just, and it is not just dogs, but there are pig zoomies. There are squirrel zoomies. You know, the zoomy being the like thing where the animal just goes crazy for some reason and starts running around and then immediately stops and goes to sleep. Like the amount of the different animals that can get the zoomies is mind boggling. I felt like I've been so close minded thinking it was just dogs and like occasionally cats after they shit.

But it's like it anything can have the zoomies guys anyway that's all um so uh it suggested to me a reddit called sea shanties so of course i wanted to uh click on the sea shanties reddit now sea shanties reddit has existed since 2011 but it has almost 80 000 members and you would think it would be discussion about sea shanties uh but now i looked at it it's all shanty. Like what's an example of a shanty meme? Oh, just it's like, for example, you know the picture of Steve Buscemi, and he's in a high school hallway, and he's got the two skateboards from 30 Rock? In this one, it's like that, but over his over his shoulder he has a paddle and he's wearing one of those captain hats and it says how do you do fellow seafarers it's pretty good um uh and that's

under the headline me laughing along to sea shanty memes after only listening to the two songs mentioned in this sub which by the way are the wellerman and uh and uh uh what do you do with the drunken sailor oh yeah there's one that's like all these swords i don't know what this is originally from but it's like it's like knights and kings and they've all got their swords pointing into the center of a circle and uh it's like each each person with a sword is labeled. And it says like TikTok zoomers, sea shanty vets, nautical geeks, my roommate, elderly gentlemen in the pub, people at the Ren Faire, Bartholomew the Immortal, 19th century sailor, Navy members, literally everyone. And they're all pointing in the center, and in the center it says, Wellerman slaps. But, Guy, this is the thing.

So this song, the Wellerman, which this Scottish, he's a Scottish guy, I think, this guy who's singing it, but, you know, it is a beautiful song. Soon may the Wellerman come and bring me sugar and tea and rum. And it's a gorgeous song. To me, it's a great song, and it's got that nice kind of creepy Celtic quality to it that I like. And it's great to hear the people sing harmony, but agree or disagree, Guy,

the real magic of this is the basso profundos. Like, it's great to hear a tenor chime in with a harmony, but like people that can actually sing bass in a functionally melodic way it is extraordinary okay jesse here's what i'm gonna say to you i'm gonna say for the first 20 years after the communist revolution in russia the country was torn apart by the question of are workers of hands the only workers or are workers of mind also workers and i think that sea shanties are having a moment because they are about collective action they are uh for timing people working together and their beauty is in people

working together and i am going to say yes the the base is extremely showy but i'm going to say everyone who contributes is contributing and there have been a couple of videos i saw um where women and people with higher voices uh did stuff that was really cool but i also don't understand music and have terrible taste in it i i'll say this when i uh when i saw this video i looked up the ukulele chords uh because i have a ukulele here and i I was like, oh, I could learn those. There's a chord. Oh, yeah. Maybe this is, you've been looking to break into TikTok, haven't you, Jesse?

This is like a big goal for you this year? Yeah. I mean, I've been working, my main goal for this year is just is the twitching my Mario speed runs. Sure, yeah. But you can give over on ukulele TikTok, or as they call it Mario speed runs. Sure. Yeah. But, but you can give over on ukulele TikTok or as they call it, uke talk. Yeah. And then a second, I would say my second goal would be broadcasting my sedition on parlor. Um, but number three, I would say is probably getting getting into tiktok yeah and uh yeah so i i i went on my like uh phone

on my music streaming service and looked for versions of wellerman and i have to say that the thing all of the commercially available versions that i could find on my phone the thing that binds them all together is that the people are not very good at singing. And also that just in hearing the song, just hearing the song, you can see in your mind's eye the bad vests that the people performing the song are wearing. Yes, it does seem like the interest of a vest enthusiast. But the guy who sings the lead in this series of TikToks that the guy everyone is harmonizing with, that guy can really blow.

He really sounds great. But honestly, I'm all about the red beard daddy in the gray cable knit sweater. That's my guy. Guy, do you have a guy in this? Or is your radical socialism here that believes all people are created equal, including all artists? I love the phenomenon generally.

And then just imagining the drunken sailor song really as a mode of educating new sailors about workplace policies. Right. Time to lean. Time workplace policies. Yeah. Right. Time to lean, time to clean, time to lean, time to clean. When sea shanties got work, you know,

when I remembered that shanties existed, I had a very, very vivid memory of, of high school where like one of the cool older kids that let me hang out with them was uh sarah hansen and we would go to sarah hansen's house and uh go in her room and listen to tori amos's little earthquakes and we would eat ice cream with, you know, that apple cider mix, you know, that powdered apple cider mix? Oh, yeah, that's nice stuff. Yeah, like a hot cocoa powder, but for hot apple cider.

So we would eat that on vanilla ice cream, something I have not done since, but like have a beautiful memory of. Yeah. And also, her family had HBO,bs it was the first place i saw waiting for guffman and that was like a big you know a big deal for me and then she she had a little brother and his weird little kid thing was shanties he was a he was like a shanty eight-year-old and we would like be you know dicking around and then we would call him in and he would just come in and you know you couldn't be more excited to share a shanty and he would just with 10 out of 10 enthusiasm do way hey up she rises way hey up she rises way

hey up she rises early in the morning and and we would just fucking freak out and because we were uh fucking drama club dipshits in the halls we would say early in the morning to each other and uh and lose our minds at how random we were i spent a night in in fifth grade on the Balclutha, a tall ship that is moored in the harbor of the San Francisco Bay. And we did a whole unit in fifth grade on seafaring things. And we learned knots and stuff. and uh like we learned knots and stuff and we had to learn sea shanties for to be on the to to go on this trip this overnight on this ship we had to learn sea shanties and we had to learn knots and stuff and uh we learned that song and early in the morning has been stuck in my mind's eye ever since, like 100%. P.S.

There's a sea shanty meme. You know the one with the black guy's big muscle arm and the white guy's big muscle arm? And they're like joining together. So the black guy's arm says, the crew from the Wellerman sea shanty, from the sea shanty, the Wellerman. The white guy's arm says, me crew from the wellerman sea shanty from the sea shanty the wellerman uh the white guy's arm says me with tinder dates and then up in the top where their hands are joining it says when the tonguing is done we'll take our leave and go it's just fun dank memes yeah that's sound pretty dank um i have i have a question about cultural magnetic force, which is, Jesse, did you guys go to Sutter's Fort? No.

But you, so Guy grew up, for the at-home listener, Guy grew up in Northern California, but he grew up in proper Northern California in the greater Sacramento area. Yes. In the rural areas surrounding sacramento and i i deep hope that the significant place of sutter's fort would have had enough power to reach past all like the the cultural mass of san francisco but no no i think the monterey bay aquarium yes sutter's fort no that's your things that are two hours from san franc Francisco and whether they were good enough to get me to go to them when I was nine. Yeah, tell us about Sutter's Fort.

It was like a field trip destination for you? Yes, everyone went thoroughly boring. Sincerely, nothing happens. Like, you go there, they tell you the gold story that they've told you a thousand times. I'm told now that maybe they make period bread for you, but not in my day. You just walked around an empty space and people talked at you. And as somebody who, I mean, as nine-year-olds went, I loved a goddamn museum.

And I found nothing appealing about it. What were the good field trips what were the ones you looked forward to wait i have a wait hold on that's a bigger topic but i want to ask a follow-up a direct follow-up to this okay did you ever pan for gold on a field trip um no my oh yes i did yes i did i'm sorry of course i did there you go most of my most of my planning for gold was with my grandmother's second husband um it was it was one of his hobbies but uh i mean jordan thank you so much for asking uh the best field trip i was taken on as a child was to the gurdwara the sick temple that was like just down the street from my house um oh it was snap like i had been asking my mother questions about that place since i had been able to talk and finally all your questions answered

and if you know anything about gurdwaras you know that every gurdwara has a functioning cafeteria that has to feed anyone who calls a common. So hospitality is part of their faith. Yes. And so it all ended with like lovely Indian meal. And then what do they cap it off with? The six sacramental food is an equal, is equal portions of flour, butter,

and sugar mixed together and then left in front of their Holy book. Yes. Their matzah, their communion wafer is shortbread dough. Wow. Now there's a religion, huh? I mean, I, as an eight-year-old, was like, sign me the fuck up. How do I join this?

Oh, man, that really is. Like, I was just, I was sincerely this week in the shower thinking, when COVID is over and i can take my children places i gotta take i gotta find out where the sick temple is because i've never been to one and i've always heard about what a wonderful experience it is to visit one i believe the oldest one in the united states is the one that's in los feliz on vermont i was told that i don't know if it's true but um yeah go go there for longer. It's great. They still do the free dough thing?

They serve you food. I don't know if it's true. I don't know if it was weird that they gave us their sacramental food. It's not like somebody touring a cathedral would get the communion wafer, you know? But like, it's Yuba City. There are no rules. It's anarchy yeah yeah i feel like i see it when i see a sick dude walking down the street i uh i always feel embarrassed uh that i am not as handsome and put together as that dude like i i feel like uh the

whole situation uh just makes it just looks sharp. Like, it looks like your act is together. And it might be the confidence that comes from carrying a secret symbolic religious dagger inside your pants. But I feel like I also just feel like

it is a group of very like, handsome and elegant people. I never thought about it before, but like, it is a group of very like uh handsome and elegant people i never thought about it before but like it really is very suited to your tastes like i mean it's a religion that like mandates like four accessories um not that you come over accessorized but like if you had a reason that you had to be wearing bracelets all the time and like a beautifully wrapped like head covering. Yes. I know me and Andre 3000 are like looking into signing up.

Guy, another Twitter thing I wanted to ask you about. I saw you make a slow gin fizz and hold it up on Twitter. And me seeing your tweet about it made me realize that it was not S-L-O-W gin fizz, but it was S-L-O-E, and it is like a weird fig or something. I knew this drink, but I didn't know that it was like some sort of some sort of like old time fig or something. It's a super tiny prune. Oh, OK. A tiny prune.

They're so tiny, like you can't do anything productive with them except shove them in alcohol and let the alcohol do its job. So you have slows on hand. I do not have slows on hand. I just bought slow gin. Oh, okay. And it was very exciting. But Jesse, I don't even know if I've ever told this to you. It's my most Northern California dream,

which is the only reason that I would have told it to you. Uh-huh. Every year, like most years, I make noccino, which is a walnut liqueur from the green walnuts from my mom's tree and like my my secret like third act dream is that i go back to yuba city uh and start making like a small batch um noccino and then like it takes off in san francisco and then you know that's my coppola winery um oh my god yes zoetrope here we come the the slow gins made me think well one wouldn't grow slows in california because better things grow here slows are only for like shitty europe that doesn't get enough sunlight but i could make

dancing gin and then suddenly like my my niche liqueur empire exploded in my mind. Now, in Europe, they're making liqueurs out of rocket, which is what they call arugula. Are you serious? I don't know. It just seems like something you'd do. That's very plausible. I got to tell you, I've been watching the new all creatures great and small uh-huh um and it's pretty good i i like it uh i i mean it's hard to compete with the

original great all creatures great and small in my heart which is you know one of my favorite television shows ever um and i would argue uh the greatest trouser show of all time and i'm going to be honest the new the new all creatures great and small cannot compete uh in the trouser department but it does it one thing it has going for it is they made the housekeeper mrs hall super foxy um so it's kind of like it's just like a Riverdale situation. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, Helen, James Harriot's wife, I think she's super foxy in the original one, but she's pretty extraordinarily super foxy in the new one.

And all the cows? These cows, fuck. These cows, fuck. There is a bull in series one of the new all creatures great and small that is some kind of uh that is some kind of bull that is probably native to uh that part of england the yorkshire dales um and uh it came on screen it has kind of like short wavy hair like it was in debarge or something and uh and uh and i saw this on this i saw this cow on the screen and i i turned to my wife and i said have you ever seen a more beautiful bovine it was gorgeous this beast was gorgeous but that's

not what i'm here to talk yeah it's like like the new fuckable jughead but a cow in in all creatures great and small both the books and the shows uh there's a lot of James Herriot, country veterinarian, will go to help an animal on a farm. And the conflict, such as it is, will be that the farmer and his wife want to feed him so much that he eats until he's sick. That is one of the big main conflicts in the show. It's like so-and-so wants him to eat too many sausages. But what's crazy is on the on the original show from 1978 to 1980 and 1988 to 1990, it like it's standard definition and the interiors are all always shot on video. And it's just, you can't really see anything that's happening. Like it really looks like anybody who's seen Are You Being Served is aware of the sort of vague, you know, gravy colored.

When you're watching Monty Python and it cuts from a, in front of a studio audience sketch to a taped piece and that taped piece is indecipherable yeah only i think it's sort of it's like a little bit the other way around on this because the uh uh the outdoor stuff looks like a pretty good looking movie from the 70s um like a like the dawn of american independent cinema uh you know like it looks like shampoo or something um it's like a little gritty but but still pretty pretty good looking and the interior just looks like uh just looks like they made it on some they some cameras they they found in a storage room at a community television station um but so you can't really see anything on the new show it's gorgeous

everything's hd as you would imagine it's beautifully shot but there's all these scenes that are about too much food being served and what it really drives home is that like in like the sumptuous feasts of 1930s eng, like all they, the only food they have basically is roast beef with gravy and like turnips. It's just these, these gelatinous brown piles. And they're like grabbing like four Yorkshire puddings, you know, and like Yorkshire puddings, not anything. like grabbing like four yorkshire puddings you know and like yorkshire pudding is not anything it is amazing how not anything these amazing foods to them are great to great britain loves their brown they love brown they they have a sauce that is if your food isn't brown enough there is a sauce that you can put on it to add more brown to your brown meal okay they're never afraid to ask what brown can do for

them the the week of thanksgiving i did a zoom show in england and they all wanted to talk shit about thanksgiving food and i was like fuck you like thanksgiving is our brownest national meal you don't get to talk shit about that when it is if anything an homage to your culture just with more squash yeah i feel like england where where jamie oliver invented like uh invented like a a pretty good pub burger like 11 years ago yeah and that was like the first that that was the first uh non-French gourmet food in England. Uh, like,

I don't think they get to make fun of, uh, uh, they get to make fun of, uh, whatever, uh, uh,

yams, sweet potatoes with, uh, with little marshmallows in it or whatever. But like, well, here's the thing. I love brown food.

And even in that context, is what I have to say about these piles of food. Speaking of food things on PBS, I was watching a little Rick Steves the other day. Little Rick Steves goes to Italy. I mean, Rick Steves is that is the answer to quarantine. Like, just let me take a half an hour of a gentle trip yeah that is a dream that's even you've really topped my i've been watching julia and jacques and uh you got me beat with with ricky steves i mean if if either julia or jacques were america's most prominent marijuana activist. So I was watching this. So in my like, you know,

oh, I'm stuck in here and I can't do anything. The thing I kick myself about is like, you know, I've always wanted to go to Rome. I've always wanted to go to Italy. I haven't done it. You know, what if society collapses and I never do it? So I watch Rick Steves do it. And I get, I, so I watch Rick Steves do it

and I, you know, it's, it's just, yeah, beautiful, relaxing show. You don't have to fully pay attention to it. It's nice. It's pleasant. Um, and I saw there was one, you know, him having dinner with a, you know, Italian food expert and, you know, some sort of like, you know, famous Italian, you know, place with authentic cooking and, you know, and of like you know famous italian you know place with authentic cooking and you know and the guy is being a little bit like snobby about who can come in there and like who would appreciate this food and who wouldn't like who is this food for and he's like this food it is not for someone who would listen to rock and roll and it this guy, and this was a pretty new one. It was in HD, so it was shot in the, you know, 2010s.

This guy's frame of reference for, like, a tough or a roustabout is still someone who listens to rock and roll. Like, he is just stuck in a, like, world where James Dean is, like, a tough, is, like, the example of a young tough. It was so weird. It's like Jordan, not even James Dean, whoever the Italian James Dean is. Right. Like, you know, that guy who's like the French Elvis, you know, or like or like those like skiffle stars of England in 1958. That's who he thinks is a rock and roll guy it's not even james dean um and then i was i was uh just yesterday i was flipping past pbs on just the

the channel guide and i'm like oh rick steves is on and the byline was rick steves colon fascism in europe i i did not stop i don't think that's because i'm like you're the fucking relaxation guy i don't want to hear you explain fascism to me the whole anyway stay in your lane steves stay in your lane someone else can explain fascism to me i just want you to like eat a risotto the thing is i'm willing to bet that for at least a portion of that fascism episode he was on a river cruise and that to me would like lighten it up a little bit oh yeah yeah maybe maybe it would be like a relaxing explanation of fascism do you think rick steves travels with trees or do you think he's just got the plug in every spot?

That's a really great question. Very good question. Who's Rick Steves hook up when he goes to, you know, south of France? Yeah, I didn't I didn't know that about him. I didn't know that he was a marijuana guy. Oh, Rick Steves is. I know this because Rick Steves has a public radio show. And so there's Rick Steves is, I know this because Rick Steves has a public radio show. And so there's Rick Steves stuff.

And Rick Steves' public radio show I don't think is all that popular, but it has some budget because of Rick Steves and his brand and his public TV success. So it's just like when you go to the public radio conference, that and this show called Bird Note, which is like a three minute show about bird calls those are like everywhere when you're at the public radio conference uh for a while sandra sing low did a public radio show that was one of those three minute things and she would always be around doing uh busking basically sandra sing low busking um but and bird note brings raptors which is honestly is really great yeah um can i say something terrible yeah say it say it now um sandra sing low

is los angeles's fred leberwitz and that's what's wrong with our city. All right. Wow. That's why you ask a guy, Branham, to be on your podcast. This is why. That's the level of insight that we get from GB. Okay. So what I was going to say about Rick Steves is, so he's always in the public media news, you know, and that is his main thing other than traveling is the legalization of marijuana. And he's been on it for 20 years. He's a huge donor. He like speaks at every rally. Like he really is the biggest deal in marijuana legalization.

He's, like, the only... I mean, like, obviously Willie Nelson, but, like, he's the only... He's, like, the face of marijuana legalization among, like, serious, boring people. Yeah, no, he doesn't come off as a stoner on that. But maybe I just have a, you know, I know he doesn't he doesn't come off as he doesn't come off as a stoner on that. I'm but maybe I need maybe I just have a, you know, preconceived notion of what a stoner is that I need to reexamine.

Well, I would know. I'm the king of drugs, Jordan. Right. I do. I know that you've been very clear about being the king of drugs and you're fucked up right now, aren't you? Aren't you? Jesse, come on. I'm fucking Kelsey Grammer in this thing. I'm high as a kite, but I'm nailing every take. That's true. Him coming strongly against the growth of fascism in America made me love him a great deal. And also the story when he got his wallet snagged in Portugal

and was like, yeah, it happened to me. I really thought that that was the sweetest fucking thing on the planet. Guy, can I go back to your dream of owning the distillery? Yes. In this fantasy that you have, is this you fleeing showbiz for a simpler life or do you keep your successful showbiz career and but but split it between the distillery or do you like you know get someone

to run the distillery for you and you're just kind of the face of it the idea is that i have dusted off my hands of entertainment and like this is my third act and this is what i was i'm doing and the thing is is like i would truly never do it because i don't want to spend my time there like the thing is this part of me does sort of just over the mountains you've got like napa and marin and you have these like places where the niche where the agriculture is pushing along food and tourism and lodging in such a way that is like so good for their economy and i'm a little bit like why can't my lovely home have that same thing um and the answer is just because it's a lovely little trash bin and it's mine and not everything needs to be gentrified guy um And I will go back there and love it forever

and understand that the best restaurant is going to continue to be like a taqueria, an Indian place, or Olive Garden. Guy, I'm kind of bummed to hear about this plan for your third act, because I always thought you would come work with me at the antique store. It's the kind of antique store where you don't sell much.

You mostly just sit there and read a book or watch public television. And Guy, I thought you were going to join me at my third act, drowning in a water park. Come on, man. You got to choose. Got to choose. We're going to take a quick break. The tonguing is done. We have to take our leave and go. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Guy Branum, horizontal blind owner. Congratulations on those blinds, by the way, man. I know that's been, I mean, I'm learning now about the distillery dream, but I mean, your dream to own horizontal blinds. I mean, it's just what you've been working to. Congratulations.

They are thick and they are wood and they do insulation work during the summers. Now they're just breezing along. Sure. You're talking about woodies. Yep. That's nice. Yeah. This is a premium window treatment guy.

Congratulations. It really is. They are. And I cannot emphasize this enough. Heavy. I have thick daddies. Yeah. I have some good news here.

I just received a text message from my wife. She's upstairs with my daughter, Gracie, who's about to fall asleep or hopefully has fallen asleep by now. She just said she just got a new baby Yoda. You know this guy, yoda from television's the mando chlorine sure yes i mean i know about him from you yeah this little guy's not the real yoda but uh you know if he keeps eating those fish eggs i don't care it's fun you know um so anyway uh she got this baby yoda and uh oh i know i'm sorry i know him as the child yes okay

go ahead continue i'm sorry i only know him by his designated disney name the child uh uh gracie said uh her baby yoda was using the force to make sure that our recording went well oh well he fucked up send that thing back because it is defective just like when he genocided those frog eggs another black mark on the record of baby frog eggs the genocide all right with the last okay snowfl. You can't handle a few. I don't know. I don't care about the frog eggs. I've spent my entire life trying to get my mother a gift that she would enjoy and not try to give back to me.

I had never succeeded. And then I got her a top of the line baby Yoda. And what a happy woman. What a happy woman. Is your mom a star wars fan or is she just a part of baby yoda mania she raises my niece and so my niece is like constantly exposing her to like genre stuff or anime and then there's just the weird stuff that my mom walks away from and it's like i adore that that. She watched a fucking anime on HBO Max last night. Who is this woman? Wow.

So she's watching, like, Berserk, Guts Rage. It was something deeply emotional. And a woman was in love with a water spirit, which I believe is most. Oh, this is weathering. This is weathering with you. I've seen that. It's great. That's a nice anime to watch with mom.

Jordan, what would you say are your top three animes to watch with mom? Okay, weathering with you, definitely one. I mean, I watched Grave of the Fireflies with my mom when I was in like 10th grade or something. Sure. I did go to see Princess Mononoke. I went to see that with Nathaniel Chapman

and his mom in high school. Oh, Nathaniel Chapman's mom was an Emmy award-winning animation director. Oh, gosh, sorry. I totally confused our college friend with my high school friend, a similar man, Eric Fromadig. Eric Fromadig's mom. I'm sorry. I confused him with our college buddy, Nathaniel school friend, a similar man, Eric Fromadig. Eric Fromadig's mom.

I'm sorry. I confused him with our college buddy, Nathaniel Chapton. Aw, man. These are men with similar energies. I knew Nathaniel's mom.

She was great. Yeah. Well, I hung out a few times with Nathaniel's mom, not to brag, but she worked on Pinky and the Brain.

Pretty good. So, yeah. So I'm going to say my top three animes to see with your mom um i'm gonna say weathering with you i'm gonna say princess mononoke and then i'm gonna say probably death note let's go death note anyway these are my three animes to see with mom um jordan i am i'm uh saddened to notify you uh that it was not weathering with you it was ride your wave a different 2019 anime about a woman who falls

in love with the water spirit so this you know this is like how over here we'll have like two asteroid movies come out in a year well guys let's get on with the program here because we have something very exciting that's about to happen. Guy Branum, last week on the program, our friend Joel Kim Booster suggested a new segment on the show, which is someone called in for a segment that does not exist on our program. Okay. They said, I'm calling in for Kids Say the Darnedest Things, which is not something that we do on our show. But we just went with it. And I don't remember what the kids said,

but darn if it wasn't darnedest. So Joel suggested a wonderful suggestion, which is if you come strong to the hoop, I don't think he used the team sports metaphor, but if you come strong to the hoop i don't think he used the team sports metaphor but if you if you are really committed and you call in for a segment that doesn't exist on the show you can call in for that segment but you just have to be clear-eyed and uh and deliver the goods yes so we have some callers calling in for segments on the show that heretofore do not exist.

And we're going to go to the telephones. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Eric in Nashville. And I'm calling in to report for your famous segment. How many mailboxes did I see today? And the answer is eight. Thank you. Wow. That's a good segment. How many mailboxes did I see today? And the answer is eight. Thank you. That's a good segment. So, how many mailboxes did you

guys see today? Let's go around the horn. I don't think I saw more than two mailboxes, Jordan. It's quarantine. I think I saw two or fewer. I mean, that's a really good segment for our time. I mean, if you're in double digits, it means you've had a day. Yeah.

Or live in a large apartment building. Yeah, you got to take excitement where you can get it. Yeah. Maybe you're a postal worker. Although, I guess then I guess seeing eight mailboxes is not that high. Yeah. Yeah, that seems like something horrible has happened. Yeah, you're slacking off or something.

It seems like something horrible has happened. Yeah, you're slacking off or something. Even if you work in the post office itself, I think those boxes are still called mailboxes, right? I think so. I mean, maybe they call them like MBs or like 21-4s or something like that. I don't know. 21-4s is what postal workers call clothespins. Oh, right.

Yeah. Okay, let's take another segment. Hello, this is Steven from Oklahoma, and I'm calling about the segment about what pop culture dog you would bring back to life if you could. And I'd have to go with Skippy. Skippy is the dog from The Thin Man. And he was in a bunch of other movies, but I don't remember what they are.

But he was a cool dog, and he was pretty famous at the time. So that would be my pick. Thank you. This is a great segment. Very good. This has legs. Four, to be specific.

I think anybody who goes with anything other than Benji is fucking gutsy as hell. well also he he didn't he didn't say the character's name he said the dog actor's name yeah which floored me i'm sorry for interrupting i mean sometimes i think benji's real name maybe is benji uh yes at least the original benji i think rin tin tin's real name was Rin Tin Tin. You know, another dog that you could think about is the dog from Air Bud. I don't know that dog's name off the top of my head, but I recently learned that the movie Air Bud was written as an Air Bud vehicle. Someone saw the dog playing basketball and thought,

eh, I should make a movie about this. I bet I could hire that dog. So the dog was relaxing by the pool at the Chateau Marmont one day, and an agent comes up and says, I'm going to make you a star, kid. The dog stays in the picture. Right. I mean, the obvious answer to this is Oney, the post office dog, who is taxidermied at the Postal Museum in Washington, D.C., wearing his vest of medals that various postmasters gave him as he rode the rails from town to town being cared for

on postal trains. Let me ask you this. If we choose Rover Dangerfield, the cartoon dog with the voice of Rodney Dangerfield, does Rodney Dangerfield also come back to life? Worth exploring, I think. Worth exploring. Or maybe it's just Todd Glass talking like Rodney Dangerfield. Oh yeah, good bit.

Yeah, it's a great bit. It's as good as it gets. Yeah, so I'm going to say Rover Dangerfield with the caveat that it also brings Rodney Dangerfield back to life. It's like a pet cemetery situation. Guy, you got a pick? The thing is, I'm not going to pick

because I want the cat who went to space from the Disney movie, The Cat Who Went to Space, to come back to life. And I'm not going to waste a pet resurrection wish on this if there might come other pet resurrection options in the future. Wait, what's the cat who went to space? I have not heard of this.

It's the cat from outer space. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Yes, it's a cat who's an alien and I think needs gold for some reason to repair her ship. Don't we all, huh? Yes. Two children and Sandy Duncan help her. That Don't we all, huh? Yes. Two children and Sandy Duncan help her. That's good.

I'll tell you what. I got an eight-year-old upstairs who would have a very, very easy time deciding this one. And I know what you're thinking. Mike Myers as the cat in the hat. But Mike Myers as the cat in the hat is not dead. He will live on forever in our hearts. Right.

Oh, good. Yeah. The answer here is The Shaggy D.A. Oh. The 1970s sequel to the 1960s Disney comedy classic, The Shaggy Dog. Yeah. He tries to get elected district attorney,

and there's a whole Music Man-style patter song about running for DA as a dog. It's great. That's wonderful. It's good to get kids interested in local government, you know? Think globally, act locally. Let's take one more call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I'm going to guess it's the cat that says, well, hi, in a southern accent.

Close. I'm going to guess it's the cat that says, well, hi, in a southern accent. Close. This is Thomas in Des Moines calling in regarding this segment. Updates from my neighbor, Gary. My neighbor, Gary, is going to have his work published in the Los Angeles Times. His third ever crossword puzzle. Hey, okay. As you know from previous segments, back in episode 20 207 He was published in the New York Times And then the Wall Street Journal

This one is going to be a Saturday puzzle And no theme So it'll be a bit of a challenge And last but not least This doesn't come out until June This crosswords So I hope I'm not breaking any embargoes Love the show

And hope I can keep sending in more updates From my neighbor Gary Yeah, thanks Thomas I think Thomas used to work for us Love the show and hope I can keep sending in more updates from my neighbor, Gary. Yeah. Thanks, Thomas. I think Thomas used to work for us. I think that was our former intern, long, long ago intern Thomas, a lovely man. Oh, wow.

I'm surprised to hear that they planned crosswords that far in advance. I mean, you can't just make them up willy-nilly on the spot,. But like, what if something happens in the news to like make a clue irrelevant or something like that, you know? Oh, like this president who's never led an insurrection. Right, exactly. I mean, I think that that's like you have to do it that far ahead of time just for the exhaustive fact checking process that they go through that we no longer do to any other journalism but only crossword puzzles like it's the only institution we have left crossword puzzles and the new yorker right and of course the new yorker cartoon caption contest rigorously fact checked yeah dogs can't talk so that's going to be a problem

sure office man is on the ceiling that can't happen if you have a segment for our show give us a call 206-984-4FUN or send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org

or if something momentous happens to you do the same thing 206-984-4FUN or jjgoe at maximumFun.org. Or if something momentous happens to you, do the same thing, 206-984-4FUN or JJGo at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Welcome back to Fireside Chat on KMAX. With me in studio to take your calls is the dopest duo on the West Coast, Oliver Wong and Morgan Rhodes. Go ahead, caller. Hey, I'm looking for a music

podcast that's insightful and thoughtful but also helps me discover artists and albums that I've never heard of. Yeah, man. Sounds like you need to listen to Heat Rocks every week. Myself and I'm Morgan Rhodes and my co-host here, Oliver Wong talk to influential guests about a canonical album that has changed their lives. Guests like Moby, Open Mike Eagle, talk about albums by Prince, Joni Mitchell, and so much more.

Yo, what's that show called again? He rocks deep dives into hot records. Every Thursday on Maximum Fun. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Listen, I'm a hot shot Hollywood movie producer. You have until I finish my glass of kombucha to pitch me your idea. Go. All right.

It's called Who Shot Ya?, a movie podcast that isn't just a bunch of straight white dudes. I'm Ify Whiteyway, the new host of the show and a certified BBN. BBN? Buff Black nerd. I'm Alonzo Doraldi, an elderly gay and legit film critic who wrote a book on Christmas movies. I'm Drea Clark, a loud white lady from Minnesota. Each week we talk about a new movie in theaters and all the important issues going on in the film industry. It's like Guess Who's Coming to Dinner meets Cruising. And if it helps seal the deal, I can flex my muscles while we record each episode. I'm sorry, this is a podcast?

I'm a movie producer. How did you get in here? Ify, quick, start flexing. Bicep, lats, chest. Who shot you? Dropping every Friday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective uh guy brannum uh low intermediate french students

oh somebody got themselves an app and now they can order themselves an app can you can you give us some common french phrases that you know uh um that might be helpful je voudrais de escargot that is uh i would like the escargot that is ordering an app i was ordering it as an app hey pretty good escargot is those uh those fucking snails that the frogs eat. Oh, boy. Also, did I say Des Escargot? You have to pronounce the final consonant on a word before a word that begins with a vowel. And Jean Guillaume, my instructor, loves to yell at me about it.

I'll let it go. I apologize, but you will be getting people correcting your French pronunciation on Twitter. RIP your mentions. Sorry. That'll teach you to come on this show. And it's not like we haven't all had that problem. I have that same thing. I get yelled at by my French instructor, Robert Guillaume, from Benson.

RIP my menchies. RIP Robert Guillaume. Two titans, Robert Guillaume and your menchies. Jesse, I've been taking down the first season of a lot of 80s sitcoms this quarantine. It's been real satisfying. Hey, I know we've gone through a lot of popular segments on the show today. My Neighbor Gary. How Many Mailboxes Have I Seen? got we've we've gone through a lot of popular segments on the show today um my neighbor gary how many mailboxes have i seen zombie movie dogs but i have i i before we go i wanted to do another

segment that i think is is has become a real fan favorite um over the past couple months uh no i'm not talking about hanging up keep it up no I'm not talking about a visit from infectious disease expert Anthony Fauci. I'm talking about reading off the names of independent bookstores where people have told me they have ordered the bubble graphic novel. Guys, are you ready for this high-octane fan favorite segment? We should explain that there is an upcoming graphic novel adaptation of the Smash Hit podcast created by Jordan Morris. And it is written by Jordan Morris with Jordan Jesse Goh, regular, beloved, regular Sarah Morgan.

And featuring art from famous comic book people. Yeah, we got art by the great Tony Cliff and colors by Natalie Reese. He of the Delilah Dirk books. She of the dungeon critters books. Uh, those are two other great comics that you should, uh, really check out.

Um, but yeah, it's, uh, it's available for pre-order now. And Jordan will shout it out. If you tell them about it on Twitter, what do we got Jordan?

Yeah. Hit me on Twitter. Hit me on the Insta slide into those DMS. If you see me on the street, you can tell me about it, too. Big, a lot of great pre-ordering going on from a lot of great shops. More than one person has pre-ordered from the Avid Reader in Davis, California. Avid Reader in Davis, California. Shout out to the, they call that Branham Country.

Have you been to the Avid Reader, guy? I have not. Well, next time you're in Davis, California, head on over and get yourself a copy of Bubble. Have you ever been to the UC Davis agricultural product store? Of course. Okay, there you go. They got their own cheese and sausages.

We got bookmarks in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, ampersand books in Rochester, New York there. Bridgeside Books in Waterbury, Vermont. Comic Kazi in Somerville, Massachusetts. An Unlikely Story in Plainville, Massachusetts. In general, Massachusetts overrepresented in this segment. A lot of good pre-ordering going on in Massachusetts. Some call it the best state.

A lot of overeducated people with cold winters. Yeah, I got to stay inside with a nice graphic novel. The Tiny Bookstore in Pittsburgh, PA. Terrace Books in good old Brooklyn. Russo's Books in Bakersfield, California. That's nice. Do a little tubing. Get yourself some books at Russo's.

Sure. Riverbend Bookshop in Glastonbury, Connecticut. Loyalty Bookstores in Silver Spring. What's MD? Maryland? Maryland. Silver Spring, Maryland. Silver Spring, Maryland. It's the suburbs of Washington, D.C., yeah. Ah, this is gonna be

fun to say. Book and Game in Walla Walla, Washington. Oh, this is going to be fun to say. Book and Game in Walla Walla, Washington. Oh, that is fun. That was a treat. Book and Game. Auntie's Bookstore in, I'm told, beautiful downtown Spokane, Washington. Mysterious Galaxy Books in San Diego, California. That's nice.

Shopping for comics at the home of Comic-Con. Mysterious Galaxy Books. Joseph Fox Bookstore in Philadelphia, PA. Trident Bookstore, and you guessed it, Boston, Massachusetts. for comics at the home of comic-con mysterious galaxy books uh joseph fox bookstore in philadelphia pa uh trident bookstore and you guessed it boston massachusetts and of course labyrinth books in princeton new jersey wow a lot of great shops a lot of great people pre-ordering bubble really thank you to everybody who's doing it like is very important that a book get pre-ordered a lot so yeah thank you to everybody who's doing it and if you is very important that a book get pre-ordered a lot. So yeah, thank you to everybody who's doing it. And if you,

uh, if you have pre-ordered from your local shop, let me know and I'll shout them out. Hello, Jordan. Oh no, it's, it's,

it's, it looks like it's time for another fan favorite segment. I ordered your book. Oh, hello. Hello guy. It's me. Dr.

Fauci. I don't know how, I don't know if you've been listening to the show lately, but infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci stops by from time to time, and his voice is a little different than maybe it is if you listen to it on TV. It sounds perfectly correct to me. How are you doing, Dr. Fauci? Guy, my voice is a little different even from previous appearances on this program. I'll tell you why. My voice is a little different, even from previous appearances on this program.

I'll tell you why. Someone told me it was a little too high pitched and was pretty annoying. And I took the note. Dr. Anthony Fauci, a great collaborator. Jordan, first of all, I want to let you know that I pre-ordered your bubble. Oh, thank you, Doctor. I ordered it from Politics and Prose in Washington, D.C., where I'm a pitcher for the Washington National. I think you just threw out that one first pitch, but I'm going to stop correcting you on that. I'm the closer.

Opening day. Doctor, I didn't know you were a comic reader. Do you like graphic novels? Do you like superhero comics? What do you like graphic novels? Do you like superhero comics? What do you like to read? I love everything. I love floppies. I love manga.

Wow. I love it all. I had no idea. I love everything. My favorite is the New Babysitter's Club. I don't know. Is that a comic? Maybe they do have comics.

It's a reimagining of the classic series in graphic novel form. That's great. So while you're here, while we have you here, any news on the vaccine? Is there any word on- Oh, Guy Branum. Do you know this? But I invented a vachine. Pronounces it a little bit different.

You're welcome for inventing this wonderful vachine. I do have an update, Jordan. I have an update for you. I've been working with the American government, including Kamala Harris, and we've been working up a list of who gets it first.

First of all, I decided to give it to people in old folks' homes. Now, Jordan, I'm a little older than the average bear. Oh, no, but you're very spry. You have a ton of energy. You threw out that pitch. I'm a doctor.

I pitch for the Washington Nationals. It's going to be all older folks. First of all, older folks, and of course, frontline health care workers. Second of all, older folks and, of course, frontline health care workers. Second of all, other essential workers and people with pre-existing conditions that make it riskier for them to catch COVID. Whether it's asthma, heart disease, anything. And then there's a bunch more

and then talk radio hosts okay and then Q from QAnon and then podcasters oh boy

podcasters will be getting it last just after I give it to Q from QAnon oh man a lot about your politics that I didn't realize. Oh, and Q from Star Trek.

John DeLancey. Sorry, DeLancey. He's as healthy as a horse. He frankly doesn't need it. Well, yeah, well, thank you so much for stopping by, Dr. Fauci, and for ordering the book. Fauci and for, uh, ordering the book. That really means a lot. And, uh, I hope it's, it's, you know, if it's half as good as the babysitters club, uh, I think you're, I think you're really going to enjoy it.

You're welcome, Jordan. And you're welcome to Dave Martinez, manager of the Washington nationals for all my strikeouts. All right. Well, bye, Doctor. Bye, Doctor. Sorry, Jordan. I don't know why I did this, but I just went to pee in the middle of the show. I just had to excuse myself

and go urinate. Oh, that's okay. Hold on. Did I miss anything? No, Brian, insert the sound of the Star Trek Enterprise taking off. Yeah, you actually did, Jesse.

Boy, this always happens. Infectious disease expert Dr. Fauci came by. He pre-ordered Bubble. He's really excited about it. Oh, that's great. Yeah, he's a big comics guy, loves manga, loves the Babysitter's Club. And yeah, apparently he also is a big QAnon guy. So that was a surprise.

Well, I mean, he probably doesn't support Q from QAnon. It's just that Q from QAnon probably, and again, I was urinating, so I didn't hear anything, probably is the next to last to get the vaccine, and the last will be podcasters. Honestly, that kind of makes sense. I get it. Okay. Did he mention anything about ordering from the Put This On Shop?

No, he didn't. Uh-uh. But, I mean, if you wanted to, I think now would be a great time to do that. Yeah. I mean, if people want to buy antiques and collectibles from the Put This On Shop at putthisonshop.com, they can use the code CSHANTYS for 30% off. Putthisonshop.com. That's a Jordan Jesse Go exclusive, Jordan.

Okay. Are you spelling shanties there? I spelled it different ways, but I thought about that ahead of time. But S-H-A-N-T-Y. Okay. Sea shanty. That's the way we want to spell it. Sea shanty.

I just really quickly wanted to point out that Dr. Fauci's appearance here made me realize a fun selling point about the bubble comic book. You should probably mention to people is that it does not need to be transported or stored at 72 degrees below zero. It's like on the market these days, you know, there are some products that do need to be held at 72 degrees below zero. So I think really just putting out there to your public, this one doesn't could get you some buyers. Yeah. And it's only, and you get the whole story in one dose you don't have to come back you don't have to come back two weeks later for the second dose of the story it all wraps up it's a graphic novel so it

all wraps up in there guy i am really excited because uh i have this hbo max streaming service i mostly use it to watch just my my different uh sea spirit love shows but on this streaming service is the television show that you hosted uh talk show the game show funny you should mention that jesse i consider this appearance to just be the launch of my press push to let people know that talk show, the game show is now available on HBO max previously. When we made the show, it was sequestered into a space where no one could see it called drew TV.

And it did not get the widespread exposure that one would have hoped for it. But now it is somewhat of an impractical home. Yeah. You should have added a couple of uh you know lovable jersey guys to the mix uh but now we are on hbo max and people have been finding it and enjoying it and it's been really lovely to to hear from people who didn't uh get to watch it the first time around. So please watch Talk Show the Game Show and enjoy it so they decide to raise it from the dead like a movie dog and let me make more of them. I get to be on the live version of Talk Show the Game Show once

with a person who's much more talented and famous than me, Thomas Middleditch, if I remember correctly. And it is basically the premise of this show is that Guy is the host of a talk show, and all the contestants are competing in a contest who can do the most and best talk show stuff. So you get points to borrow Guy's parlance being charming. You get points for bringing the host a gift. There are all these different categories for which you get points. And then you also get judged by Karen Kilgareth, which, you know, I mean, if you've heard Jordan Jesse go over the years, many times we've been judged by Karen Kilgareff.

It's always fun. And the television version of this is so fun and funny. And what I love about this is not only that it is available now, but in it having become available, I think, you discovered that there is a foreign version that no one told you about oh yes um that is very true so i was like it was my morning of like oh it is finally on hbo max they told me this last january uh and so i announced it and then a couple of people were like hey you know about the version in quebec right wow i. And I was like, no. And so there's a version there called Cine pas un talk show, un talk show.

And it's goofy and wacky in the traditions of Quebecois comedy. Like they give people 10 points for wearing a costume, which if I had known anything about this, I would have not allowed. So wait, who's the Canadian you? Who's the host? I forget his name. He's a dude who, like, mugs a lot and makes his eyes big. You know, like all French-Canadian comedians.

That's Chris Tucker. They removed Karen Kilgariff entirely. you know like all french canadian comedians that's chris tucker um they removed karen kildareff entirely a lot of choices i wouldn't have made and like simultaneously it was that moment of being like um sad that i have i'm not making any money from it and immediately called my attorneys to be like why haven't I made any money from this? But also there's nothing nothing more magically is your 40s. Then there's a French Canadian version of my show that was canceled a couple of years ago. Nothing like means you lived a life like that. So Guy on Talk Show the Game Show,

which I can confirm is really, really funny, I actually watched it on TruTV and really loved it. Thank you so much. Me too, me too, Guy. Excited to rewatch. Who are some of the guests that come through? I remember the guests were always really, really good. I feel truly terrible that all of the things I am supposed to do to plug my own project, you guys have had to force me to do it.

Like, you guys had to do it for me. Jesse had to explain the premise of the show. And now Jordan is having to prompt me to name drop Tiffany Havish, Wanda Sykes, John Sally. Sikes! John Sally! There's nothing better than having a sports person who is charismatic on Talk Show the Game Show, because I don't know anything about them. Like, Tiffany Haddish I know is going to be funny and amazing, but I had no idea who John Sally was, and then he came on the show and was a sheer delight.

Yeah, John Sally really did a good job. NBA legend John Sally did a great job on Talk Show, The Game Show. Yeah. I enjoyed Khalees. Khalees smelled like, she smelled so beautiful. She smelled like a very good divorce settlement. That's the only way I can describe it.

And she was so breezy and so charming and just like effortless would you say that she loves you so much right now um look i only know one of her songs and it's wait oh it's uh it's milkshake it is milkshake oh well her current breakthrough hit was caught out there parentheses i hate you so much right now is the one where she yells the for the chorus she just yells i hate you so much right now over and over i mean i could have probably just like been cool and breezy about that and not made it a thing but no one ever comes to me for cool and breezy that's not why you guys asked me to do this show you got you got

margaret cho san francisco school of the arts is uh second most famous graduate now i know what you're thinking is it after me no it's just after aisha tyler because she was on friends yes um they're both great there's no question about that uh all all kinds of amazing and uh hilarious people were on talk show the game show it is so funny and if you have hbo max first of all i will say i i got hbo max because my daughter wanted to watch something on it and uh i really like it my daughter wanted to watch uh the talk show with Elmo, hosted by Elmo, which honestly is great. And I bought HBO Max so she could watch the Elmo talk show. I watched it with her and enjoyed it very much.

But I actually love HBO Max. It is my favorite of the streaming services. Oh, easy. It's a really great time. Easy. Easy. And I mean, yeah. But besides that, it being the home of talk show the game show that's just the that's just the cream on top of the cake you know it's one of

those cakes that you pour cream on sure yeah cream cake a uno leche shake just just one leche please i'm i'm watching my leches well guy branham it's been a joy to have you on the program as ever thank you so much for having me i miss you guys this is very lovely oh we miss you too buddy uh guy branham if you get a chance to see him do stand-up comedy do not miss the opportunity if you got the hbo max do not miss the opportunity to watch talk so talk show the game show it is so so so funny and you know what um if you don't have time to watch talk show talk show the game show it is so so so funny and you know what um if you don't have time to watch talk show the game show it's okay uh uh just watch impractical jokers these jersey boys yeah cracking each other up these guys are friends you know

that's why it's okay they They're buddies. They're buddies. Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. Our theme music, Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and our friends at Light in the Attic Records. Wonderful record label, by the way. I'm always talking about, at the end of the show, I'll talk about how great Kites Are Fun,

the best of The Free Design is, which is the free design collection that they put out. And it is. It's fucking wonderful. The free designer, an amazing band. Light in the Attic Records, they put out a lot of fucking good music. That is a great, that is a great record label. So I'm just throwing in that plug there. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can find us on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne. Guy is at Guy Branum. Okay. Hashtag JJ Go. We're also on Instagram at put.this.on and at Jordan David Morris. That's plenty of stuff. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse Go. MaximumFun.org. Duff. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.