Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 673: Wario Sauce with Carlye Wisel

Episode Date: February 1, 2021

Carlye Wisel (theme park journalist, Very Amusing podcast) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion about Jordan's latest targeted Instagram ads, Jesse's major video game accomplishment of beating Zelda, and Carlye's latest quarantine gambit - learning to play chess. Plus, we take some calls from an old friend that could change the show forever. 

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, grabbing that rainbow to go! Bow to go, tell me about this. Well, I'm having a new little takeout project here over at the old Morris Estate. Is this what you call ordering dinner? A takeout project?

Yeah, I call it a takeout project. Just give me this, Jesse. I need something. Okay. I'm just trying to feel something. Look, we're all trying to fill our time in quarantine. I get it. You single folks are picking up hobbies left and right

your hobby is ordering takeout uh-huh well i'm trying to like add a add a theme kind of a theming to my to my takeouts oh thank god but previously it had been all over the place right yeah i don't know where you're coming or going yeah um a real knott's berry Farm. Right, exactly. It's fried chicken and diarrhea-themed roller coasters. And jam? They have a coaster called Montezuma's Revenge, I should mention. Oh, wow. Which is diarrhea, I believe, right? Okay, yeah, that's intestinal distress.

Yeah. And at Halloween's, Elvira is there. Does she have diarrhea? We don't know. Yeah, couldn't tell you. Cool lady, though. Very cool. I bet her diarrhea is sweet.

And spooky. Here's what I've decided to do. I decided when I get the takeout, I'm trying to make it from a, like, beloved local dump that I would be disappointed if it left you know right and also i should mention my cat is a rescue um i bring my own cloth bags to the farmer's market and i bought a sweatshirt that said vote and i wore it during the election so these are just some things about me well namaste i greet the god within you. What do you watch? Do you watch television?

No, no, I don't watch television. I only watch documentaries on Netflix. Thank you. These are all things about me. And I really think that vote sweatshirt I got turned the tide of the election. I did post a picture of myself wearing it on Instagram, and I think it, I don't know, I really think it changed a lot of people's minds. Jordan, I get it. I have an herb garden. Ah, mmm, yes. But are you doing your own composting? I think not.

Mmm, real disappointed. So, I'm like, okay, when you get to take out, try and, like, call, you know, that beloved B- that, you know, maybe can't game the DoorDash system or wherever. Yeah. And, you know, that beloved B-minus that, you know, maybe can't game the DoorDash system or wherever. Yeah. And, you know, just so, you know, and hopefully, you know, pretty soon restaurants are safe and

we can all go back to those beloved local dumps that we all like. Yeah, to a nice place that's not Graham-friendly. Yeah, exactly. So a place where you can get a nice meal, see some friends, but maybe the people who run it don't have a 19-year-old niece or nephew to take Instagram photos for them. In my mind, this category is called HMS bounty. Yeah, that's a great example. I know, I was maybe worried that you would find this to be a foolish venture. But I mean, you can relate. You've got the HMS bounty, right?

Yeah, when my wife and I lived in Koreatown, which we did for quite a while, we very much frequented a local restaurant where the food ranges from acceptable to okay, that is underneath an apartment building, like a 20s apartment building, is completely dark and has a booth named after that woman from The Office who sings. I can't think of what her name is right now. She's great. It's not a value judgment. She's fantastic. I just can't think of what her name is off now. She's great. It's not a value judgment. She's fantastic. I just can't think of what her name is off the top of my head.

So yeah, boy, have you actually, have you gotten takeout from HMS Bounty or are they just closed indefinitely? Nowhere to park there. Nowhere to park. So I think takeout would be a real challenge. It would just take a lot of work to get over there and then pick up.

So you're not having their famous baseball steak at home, huh? No, I know. I can't even, i'm not even having a half grilled swiss and a half a salad with blue cheese man that's a that's a that's a hell that's a hell of a salad yeah it's a hell of a salad it's a great salad um so i was i was looking around i've been and i've been and for the most part this has has been very successful for me. I think I've been having a lot of good meals, you know, fun to kind of stop into some of these places that

I haven't been into in a long time. So I was looking around, and I'm like, oh, you know where I bet absolutely doesn't have a 19-year-old niece or nephew to do their Instagram is the Rainbow Room. Jesse, have you ever been to the Rainbow? I wonder if you've been here. Have their Instagram is the Rainbow Room. Jesse, have you ever been to the Rainbow? I wonder if you've been here. Have you been to the Rainbow Room?

Is the Rainbow Room the bar that Lemmy hung out at on the Sunset Strip? Yes. I think for most of its life, it was a rock and roll themed bar, and now it is just a Lemmy themed bar. bar and now it is just a Lemmy themed bar. I mean, if Lemmy used to, like the word was, and I know this from when Lemmy was on Bullseye of the Sound of Young America many years ago, Lemmy from Motorhead, of course, is that he basically lived there. Yeah. Like he just was at the bar drinking anytime he was in Los Angeles where he lived. I absolutely saw him there. I also saw Danzig there a couple of times. Awesome. Yeah. If that gives you any idea of what kind of establishment this is. And so I was like, ah, the Rainbow Room, that is such a, you know,

and I think like at the height of my drinking, it was always just like a place you could go for one more drink because like they fucking closed at two no matter what no earlier and so it was like always open always like a fun you know group of weirdos in there and i'm like ah there'd be it'd be a shame if the rainbow room didn't make it through this um and i'm like oh shit i've never eaten there before like i have only drank and played one of those little tabletop Pac-Mans there before. You know those little tabletop Pac-Mans? Oh, God, yes. I used to, the Salvadoran restaurant by my house, Los Panchos, used to have one of those when I was a kid. That was a real, because the thing is, I don't know if you've ever eaten at a Salvadoran restaurant.

You get those pupusas and you order them and they show up 47 minutes later. Sure. So there's plenty of Pac-Man time. Plenty of time to get super fucking good at Pac-Man. That restaurant, by the way, had an alcove in the ceiling that was about four feet tall, but was like up, you know, in the wall,

you know, it had maybe like 15 foot ceilings. The top third of which there was a big alcove with i think a mummy in a sombrero i very dusty anyway los ponchos um so the rainbow room menu is a delightful nightmare it has so many subsections it It has like Mexican, Italian, steaks, starters, pizza. It's just like you, you know. Fusion. Fusion. Yeah, exactly.

Tapas for sharing. Smoothies. Barbecue. Yeah. Smoothies. That's what I want to get there. Yeah. You want to hang out, have some acai, and see a statue of Lemmy that has a stain on it that is probably puke.

And so I was looking, and they have... And so they're really trying with the delivery. They're really trying, and they have some specials. And one of them I have not stopped thinking about since I saw it on the menu. I have not stopped thinking about since I saw it on the menu that for $10, they have a cup of soup and Bacardi cocktail. Now, is this one or two items? I am not sure. Is it just a cup of minestrone soup with a shot of rum poured in it?

Is the soup like a chaser? Do you do the shot of rum and then, you know, take a swig of the minestrone? Or maybe the other option is like a car bomb, an Irish car bomb, where you drop the shot into the soup and then just fucking pound it. Get you all warm inside. i feel like you'd want that in like a tomato soup or something you or or like uh yeah you know you would want you would want a smooth soup if you were gonna if you were gonna take it like a shot yeah because you don't you don't want some you don't want some corn in there you know you don't want a tater chunk you don't want surprise corn in the

gullet no anyway they got chicken parm it was pretty good yeah but maybe maybe one day maybe one day i'll pull the trigger and get the bacardi cocktail and cup of soup 10 bucks that's pretty good yeah i mean that's a good value it's a very good value it's um my Here's my concern. Yes. If you order a Bacardi cocktail. Right. And that's what it says on the menu. Let's leave the soup out of it for a moment and presume this is a drink and a food. If you order Bacardi cocktail, that's too open-ended for me. Okay.

So you want like, oh, sex on the beach or a zombie or something like that. I just want them to say what they're putting in there with the Bacardi. Just give me some idea, you know, just have general guidelines about what it is. Sure. But, I mean, they have everything. So it could be flat white. It could be one of those coconuts that they call out and give to you when you're at a tropical resort.

They've got it all at the Rainbow Room. Kava. Yeah. Okay, should we introduce our guest on the program this evening? I would love to. She is a celebrated theme park journalist. Perhaps the celebrated theme park journalist. I don't know

how many people have that job full time, but she does. She's also the host of the theme park podcast, Very Amusing, Carly Weisel. Hi, Carly. How are you? Hi, I'm great. How are you? Well, thank you. You're welcome. Do other people have that job do you like meet up like jordan used to talk about how he would run into the other people that did junkets uh and he would just start to recognize and know the different weirdos that did junkets back when he was doing uh entertainment semi-journalism i I wasn't aware of that division. But yeah, there's a full crew of us to the point where I now have a clique

with a few other ones. Like we all move about. There's a bit of drama. So there's, yeah, there's definitely enough. Now we're talking. There's, I believe- Riverdale ain't got shit on this show. Let's hear it.

I mean, no cults thus far, but that's a Riverdale reference. I was making sure that you have wasted as much of your life as I have watching that show. Thank you for clarifying. I was going to ask. I only know it as a poll for a show that has a lot of drama,

and I think Jughead is fuckable now. That is basically all I know about Riverdale. I also haven't seen it. I'm just waiting for a sexy bazooka Joe. My perspective was always that Jughead was fuckable, but that's a different conversation.

Got that crown somehow. He carries around a sack of hamburgers. What more could a woman want? I can't wait to get those greasy hands all over you does he have onion rings in there who knows i was just more invested in the uh in the free meal that is readily available oh sure um yeah so what uh can you can you can you talk about the drama? Do you have enemies? I mean, obviously we don't want to get too defamatory on the show. Right, right, right.

I shouldn't talk about it because I don't want to give any more eyeballs to the fact that I have really stuck my flag in the ground of where I stand on some people. But there are more wonderful people than there are people I take issue with. I bet. I bet if you get into theme park journalism, like I bet that has a lot of like sweet, sweet nerds who are fun to spend an afternoon with. I can, I can see that being primarily who gets into that.

It does feel like there's plenty. I mean, as a self-proclaimed nerd, there are plenty of us, but there's also a lot of reporters who could have gone down a path to a newspaper and realized that that would have been a real pain in the butt and instead just decided to like ride a roller coaster and try to make an entire career of it. I want to ask about the kind of one of the bigger theme park stories that's been in the news. Jesse, actually, you were the one who texted me this. I had not heard this until I got a text from you, was that Disneyland is shutting down the season passes for the foreseeable future. Yes.

So they are ending their current annual pass system, which is a really big deal for anybody who lives in California or follows someone in California on Twitter, honestly. Or on the freeway. Yes. Oh, right. They have the stickers. There's a bumper sticker with a NXIVM-like logo on it with the Mickey head flanked by A and P, which I think stands for annual pass. Yes.

And I think you can also get it as a brand if you're not chicken. You have to be at a certain tier for that option. Right, right. They do that in that secret club. Right, oh, Club 33. Yeah, that's where you get the brand. In what's called the sizzle room.

Oh, actually, that's just where they serve you fajitas, Jesse. You actually got some bad intel. That's where you get those. Hot plate. So, Carly, my question is, like, so, you know, I think there are a lot of people to whom, like, you know, meeting up at theme parks with those passes is like, you know, it's like their social thing. meeting up at theme parks with those passes is like you know it's it's like their social thing so i am wondering if you have heard any chatter as to where where those theme park people are going to start meeting up like are they all congregating around nuts berry farm and lego land are they like all right fucking 2021 lego land that's where we're all going i do think that

myself uh just speaking for myself i will be spending more time at Universal Studios Hollywood because it's 20 minutes from my house. It's right there. Ride the movies. But yes, ride the movies. Correct. But there will be another version of the annual pass system that will come out. So we're not going away. We will be just as loud and irritating to people who aren't fans of everything that happens there.

We just won't be there as frequently, if I had to guess. Universal Studios, I know it has Universal City Walk, which is like an outdoor mall for scary teens. But just for folks who don't live in Los Angeles. But are there like apartments there? I feel like that is a lifestyle that I want to interrogate. People who live at the theme park, in the immediate environs of the theme park. Sadly, there is not. It's not like the Americano, which you can live at, which I got to tell you,

if I was single and wasn't married to someone who would rather die than do that, I would be all about it. I immediately assumed, Carly, that you wanted to, if you were single, you would live at the Americana because you want to meet an Americana man. Just a guy who appreciates a Shake Shack and a lululemon a guy who loves a very short trolley ride anybody who's patient enough to wait around for din tai feng is really you know checking off some boxes on my list there you go sure are they patient people uh yeah do they can they order for the table? How do they feel about unexpected liquids? Like it happens in soup dumplings, right? Yeah, you can serve soup dumplings at Din Tai Fung. No, sometimes you never know when that hot soup's going to come squirting out.

And sometimes it's actually scalding hot Bacardi. A lot of people don't know that when they go to dentai fung for the first time some dumplings are filled with hot bacardi what a dream if they were carly on a on a like week to week basis in a normal year excluding uh calamitous worldwide events in a normal year how many days how many average days a week do you spend at a theme park? So it's not weekly. I would call it more monthly because here's the weird thing

is that the big show is in Orlando, Florida. So I'll go to Disneyland. We all know that's where the big show is. Yeah, you don't have to tell us. Come on, baby. Come on, come on down to Orlando, Florida. I'm pretty sure the big show is in the WWE. Come on down to Orlando, Florida.

I'm pretty sure the big show is in the WWE. I'd go to Disneyland maybe once every two weeks, but I would be in Florida every six to eight weeks. Wow. Wow. For work? Oh, yeah, for work. Like, what is an example of, what's an example of something that would bring you out to Florida? Like, is it like just like new churro dust or what are what are the things that that are that are bringing you out? Oh, shit. They invented ranch churros.

Martha, book me a ticket. It would usually be honestly for a ride opening or a new experience, which happened so often before the pandemic that I was just constantly there. There were just so many things happening and different parks are on different schedules. So you just keep basically you get into the system where every summer is when there's a big theme park opening, a big land, a new attraction to kind of bring in the summer crowds. Then you have Halloween season, which starts in August. And then you have the holiday season, which starts at the beginning of November. So you're kind of just back and forth all the time. What's like the new hot shit in Florida?

Coronavirus. Haven't heard of it. Really? Interesting. Yeah. The new strain is really just all the rage down there. They've got a sexy new strain out there, huh? I mean, everything cool and new has really been delayed.

So once we all get vaccinated, it's going to be like the theme park people you know in your life are going to be at 100 because they're going to just open all these rides that we've all been sitting around waiting to get our butts on for so long. And then we finally can. What about you personally? What are you chomping to get on butts on for so long. And then we finally can. What about you personally?

What are you chomping to get on? Oh, my God. Okay. There's this coaster coming to Universal Orlando Resort, and it's called the VelociCoaster. And it's this Jurassic World themed coaster that just looks absolutely bonkers. And they've built the whole thing with people in the park watching it happen. They've had people wait in the walkways as they just truck track through. So we've been monitoring this for a while. And apparently the thing's just going to be full of like dinosaur animatronics. And it's going to be so good. I'm just excited as an enthusiast for that one.

Because I don't know how much I'm going to be able to write about dinosaurs before i tire myself out but i just want to ride it i'm 100 disappointed you don't ride a raptor if you're gonna sell me a raptor coaster i'm riding on the back of a raptor or it's no sale wait that's a good point so what are you what are you on in the thing do we or do we know has that been revealed yet i don't actually remember what the ride vehicle is supposed to be. I think it's that the movement through the track is like you're a velociraptor because it goes so fast. Oh, shit. So you are the raptor. I believe so.

Oh, fuck. I've always wanted to hunt in packs and open doors. Oh, fuck. I've always wanted to hunt in packs and open doors. I've always wanted to feel the visceral rush of being able to open a door. Do you think there's, do you think, I mean, like, obviously, sometimes, you know, like, they shut these things down to, you know, to plus them up you know i think i like the jurassic park ride out here shut down and they added some stuff from the new movies um video monitors featuring bryce dallas howard and the like i fucking love that right it's so cool and uh do you think that you know maybe once it has run its course they could kind of change it out to where instead of being a raptor you can experience what it's like to be Sam Neill. Just a treasure in your native New Zealand. Right. And you have a surprisingly delightful Twitter presence where you plug your wine and your pet pigs.

I mean, it's a different franchise, but if there is any career coaster I would like to take, it would be a Michael Keaton. Oh, yeah. So you start the coaster as a stand-up comic like an 80s comedy store stand-up comic but not like a real stand-up comic that weird kind of stand-up comic they had at the time that was just an actor looking for stage time. Right. And then you go into a room and kind of Mr. Toad style, there's this explosion and the phrase,

holy shit, now you're Batman. And then in parentheses, it was really weird at the time. Yeah. At the time, now I think we all like those movies, but I think at the time, unusual choice.

You know what my favorite part of that ride is? That little interlude where you're in the movie out of sight. Right. Things get really dark for a while. They really dip down low, and then you're fantastic in a small part and out of sight. Right. Right. You're surprisingly funny

in more dramatic movies. I'd take a Tom Arnold coaster. Oh yeah? Yeah, you're working in an abattoir in Iowa at the beginning. And then for a while it's just you and Roseanne in a dueling madness

contest on the set of Roseanne. And then, you know, you're great in true lies, but it's a little racist. True lies. I think we're trying to get rid of the racist rides. I don't think we're trying to add those in.

Yeah. Yeah. Jesse, maybe the stupids is underappreciated. Not sure. Haven't seen it. Um, oh,

you know, I wanted to, I wanted to follow up about something we had talked about on the show a couple weeks ago. I wanted to talk about how my Instagram ads have evolved. Oh, thank you, Jordan. Thank you. Namaste. I greet the God within you. Thank you. Yes.

And after we get done, I have a new Netflix documentary to watch. I love docs. I'm crazy about docs. Carly, what are your Instagram ads? What are your targeted ads? And do you ever buy any of it? Yeah. They got me pegged big time.

Lately, it's been carousels. I'm sorry, not actual theme been carousels. I'm sorry, not actual Femar carousels. Photo carousels from like a Nordstrom rack or an Etsy. And it's things that have nothing to do with each other that just see so deep within me. A lot of clown type clothing. Just a lot of things you wouldn't expect. Clown type clothing? What's an example of that? Oh, yeah, a clown type clothing carousel you're not familiar with these

you know like a shirt with a bold lapel that just has some pom poms hanging off of it it really they know me too well and I always save it which is a bad move because then they know I liked it yeah don't say it out loud because that shit's listening oh my god

okay so I have been very into candles during I don't even know if we can call it quarantine now that it's been a year of my life. But I've been very into candles. And I bought this one candle that smells like a French baguette. And I talked about it on Instagram stories. And everyone who follows me listen to it on Instagram stories. And then we all got a masterclass ad for baking bread. Whoa. That's I'm actually, I would, please send me a link for this candle. Cause I am like, I'm super into candles now. And also that, that, that sounds like a fun smell. I will. It's very subway-esque, but I love it. Carly, almost the exact same thing happened to me.

What? Tell me more. I had the candle, the baguette candle, and I shared it around. I had saved the post, which as you said, then they know. And I got an ad for a masterclass for eating candles. Taught by none other than Tom Arnold. It was amazing. Really fun. Surprisingly deep. Yeah.

Whole part about Andy Kaufman. I bet you don't need to have a Tom Arnold theme park ride. I bet if you went over to Tom Arnold's house and gave him 75 bucks, he would just tool around on an ATV with you for a couple hours. Fuck yeah, that would be awesome. Speaking of some, I like, I interviewed Tom Arnold one time on, for Bullseye. And like talking to Tom Arnold,

you're like, we need to make true lies too. This man is amazing. It'll be less racist, of course, but it will still contain Tom Arnold. yeah i i'm i'm sold on that uh so carly for your benefit um i i joined instagram very very recently it's very late to the game but um uh you know i was like now it's time it's it's it's time for me to join the gram. Mostly to follow John Dickerson. Yes, mostly to follow 60 Minutes' John Dickerson and his great dog. Just a quick detour. John Dickerson today on Instagram had to take a picture with his dog,

and his dog is brown, and he was wearing a brown shirt, and he said, like, we're dressed like twins. Yeah. These two. These two. It makes sense, though, if you think about it, Carly, to follow John Dickerson from 60 Minutes on Instagram, because Ed Bradley passed away a few years ago. Sure. He's not on the gram. Carly, you've got a great, you've got a great gram, I'll say. I think

I really like your gram. I think you had one up there today where you were dressed like a pizza. I think you had one up there today where you were dressed like a pizza. Oh, yes. Thank you. I mean, it's got nothing on, you know, a wild, successful career and matching a dog, but I'll take the compliment. Thank you. I think dressing like a pizza is the network news of outfits. I appreciate that.

Thank you. I mean, really, like an extrovert trapped in the house for this long. I got to shout things somewhere so i'm thankful that instagram gives me that platform yeah sure um it's so okay so when i first joined this is maybe i don't know three months ago four months ago or something like that i you know like like you i was like oh these i i know these algorithms have the ability to like to look into your soul and i'm like what's my what's my wide lapeled clown outfit and it turns out it is exclusively chicken sandwiches it was all chicken sandwiches for months and not and like just not local not even local chicken sandwiches in my area

it was like um like chicken sandwiches in Long Island that I couldn't even get. Yeah. It fucking pissed me off because they looked really good. New chicken sandwiches in Orlando? Oh, yeah. It's like where you're eating them, but you can pretend you're a velociraptor. You can hunt them with your pack. Yeah.

So, no. So, it has kind of evolved. It is still mostly chicken sandwiches, but they've started to throw in a few cookies and brownies, which I also like. And then, and also just some, now it's just some general meats, like, you know, like kind of meat, meat delivery services, burgers, barbecue, pastrami, things like that. I'm sorry, you said meat delivery services? Yeah, like I think there's some stuff that's like a blue apron, but for meat, stuff like that. Oh, sure. I was picturing those kind of like, you know how you, I'd never seen this,

but you know how you would hear sometimes about people selling steaks door to door? No, I don't. I don't think I have ever heard of that. I feel like Icky Woods, the legendary Icky Woods, running back of the Cincinnati Bengals, famed for his special dance, the Icky Shuffle. I feel like the rumor was that Icky Woods post-retirement sold steaks door to door. Huh. And you know what?

If someone came to my door selling steaks, I'd have a hard time turning them away. If they really believed in the product, I would get my wallet out. So, okay. So now it's shifted generally to general meats. And I got an ad the other day for a place that I think proves that not only does the algorithm follow my eyes and detect when it slows down, but also the algorithm listens to this podcast because I got an ad for a place called Wario's Beef and Pork. Is this restaurant made for me? Oh, Carly, you know our friend Wario, I see. Oh, my, my, my.

Are you a Wario fan and or his, I think, brother Waluigi? I mean, I'm more of a Princess Peach gal, but she's not selling me any chicken sandwiches or anything. So I'll take what I can get. So yeah, Wario's beef and pork. And I was like, great. Yeah, give me some of this beef and pork. It's in fucking Columbus, Ohio. What did the copy say? Did the copy make any promises?

Or did it just say, you only have one joke, buy our meat? Sure. Yeah, exactly i know i feel bad i feel bad that there's some fucking bot who has to listen to this show in order to advertise to me you know they say that like uh there was pictures of what's his name mark zuckerberg and he used tape to keep his computer from spying on him so get some tape and just cover up your eyes. Oh yeah. And then my mouth so I can't talk on the podcast. And say Wario. I got

actually pitched, Jordan, I got pitched a master class by Instagram called Sekiro for Cowards. No. Well, I mean, Cowards. Cowards wouldn't even pick up Sekiro. They'd play a more cowardly game. I don't actually feel that. Carly, you're a Nintendo person and a theme park person. What do you know about the Super Nintendo Land that's going to be in Japan and Universal Hollywood, right? Yeah. The full end's going to be in Japan.

I'm not sure how much of it we're going to get in Hollywood or how much of it we're going to get in Florida because it will be opening at both. I'm sure it'll be smushed a little differently and arranged different. But the one in Japan seems pretty great. And they had pushed back the opening date. But as of, I think, like an hour or two ago,

they were starting to just casually let some day guests in while they're kind of running this stuff, getting the kinks out. So I think it's going to open in the near future, and it seems real fucking great. Yeah. I lustfully look at pictures of Super Nintendo Land in Japan. You're getting the kinks in, Jordan. Yeah. I know, right? I just want to hug a Yoshi. I just want to hug a Yoshi. Oh, so bad. Sorry I poked you, buddy. Yeah. See, you can't ride a

raptor, but there you can ride a Yoshi. Oh, shit, really? Yeah, they move very slow, painfully slow. Yeah, but they make cute little squeaks i bet they're so cute oh they're so cute what other nintendos have they got in there they've got a little bit of everything i mean i really haven't fraternized much with the game since i was a young indoor kid but they have uh like a mario kart style ride that there's not a lot of details about yet. There's you buy this wristband and you get to punch blocks and get coins like they have everything. And then the whole land is just covered in every character you've ever seen in any game. I haven't thought about this in years, but I just remember that once with our friend

Griffin McElroy of My Brother, My Brother and Me, I did a real life Mario Kart. It was like a promotion for Nintendo it was at South by Southwest Interactive and Griffin is a you know he's a sometime video game journalist and uh we got these tickets and it's it was like go karts that went extra fast when you went over certain spots on the track it did not have turtle shells but like frankly if you're gonna make real life Mario Kart it does not have turtle shells. But like, frankly, if you're going to make real life Mario Kart, it does not have to be very good to fucking rule. Because go karts are super fun. Go karts are amazing.

Yeah. Like, I like the thing, the like, just car themed ride at Disneyland, where it's just like, wouldn't it be cool if you could drive a car? Wouldn't it be cool if you weren't some dumb child with no driver's license? Exactly. Like, I'm a grown man and I'm not mad at it. You know what I mean? I'm like, ooh, I can steer.

I'm such an old, I'm such a mean dad about it where I'm like, I drove 90 minutes to get here. I'm not driving again. I'm getting in a submarine. Yeah. Carly, it's interesting that you mentioned like recognizing all the stuff, but you like haven't played Nintendo

since you were a kid. Like it is amazing how consistent Nintendo is. Like most of the modern Nintendo stuff is still the stuff from 1986. I'm always blown away at how every Mario game still has the question blocks and fireballs and Koopa and Princess Peach. It is amazing how they are just making more and more beautifully rendered versions of the stuff they made in 1986. It's always baffling to me. Isn't like half of that stuff either a result of a mistranslation or a license they couldn't get?

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I know that, yeah, I know that like Donkey Kong is some sort of, like maybe it means stupid in Japanese. So, you know, so it sounds a little bit weird over here. I don't know. Yeah, that would be funny if Mario was supposed to be Chef Boyardee or something like that. Like, I don't think they set out to make the definitional plumbing video game. Right. Well, you know, canonically, Nintendo came out and said Mario is not a plumber. It's one of many jobs that he's had. Really?

Yeah. They had to clarify when Odyssey came out. He's not a plumber. That does not define him. He has had many jobs, and plumber is one of those jobs. But plumbing isn't just a job you casually pick up. It's a lifestyle. You got to get in the union.

Yeah. No, I know. He's not just a plumber. He's a guy who broke into the Watergate on behalf of Nixon. Yeah, no, I think the idea is that when Mario is racing carts and playing tennis and golf or fighting Solid Snake and Smash Brothers, those are jobs. He's doing those to get money. They're never giving this man a day off and they pay him by coin.

Yeah, sure. Thank you. He's just like, yeah, plumbing hasn't been going so well. So I'm fighting a giant monkey for money. Great Mario impression, by the way. He sounds very haggard. I'm into blood sport now. I have to murder the guy that drives the hovercraft at F-Zero.

There's this fucking space fox after me. But in other Nintendo news, Jesse, let's give you a chance to shine here. You beat Zelda Breath of the Wild. Jordan, can I ask you a question? B-O-T-W, yes. Have you seen Calamity Ganon recently? Why, no, I haven't seen Calamity Ganon. He hasn't tweeted in weeks.

Yeah, that's because I killed his ass with ancient arrows, baby. I had hells of them because I killed his ass with ancient arrows, baby. Whoops! I had hells of them because I saved them all up. Yeah. I didn't waste them fighting lion-o's or whatever they're called. Just fucking got all those ancient screws.

Oh my god, Jordan. I was stacking fucking ancient screws from the floor to the ceiling baby was great that you i think you have been playing that game for a long time when you got to the last guy were you just super overpowered and killed him in two minutes yeah i mean the thing of it is that like it's sort of a combo situation with me which is to say that on the one hand i had been playing that game for a very long time. On the other hand, and I mean, you like, God bless you, Jordan. For our listeners who don't

know, and for you, Carly, Jordan had a Nintendo Wii U that he wasn't using. And at the beginning of the pandemic, he dropped it off at my house and just said, your kids might enjoy playing this. It turns out I enjoyed playing it while I made my kids watch and um so i've been playing just this one game there's another game there called nintendo land that i haven't really done much with but basically i've just been playing this one zelda game for the last year and i did become powerful but like the time i spent in game was sort of weighed against the fact that at no point did i feel confident i knew what i was doing and i'm just not inclined to look on a wiki because you're a real you're a real gamer you're a true gamer a lot of people think carly just again this is just background that you might not know about me a lot of people think, Carly, just again, this is just background that you might not know about me. A lot of people think I'm a fake gamer, babe, but I'm a real gamer. And so I won't just look at the wiki.

Jesse always streams. He always streams in these very low cut talks. Sure, yeah. I will. I'll look at a wiki the second I get bored of a puzzle, but I will not look at a wiki to find out how to make a potion. I just don't care that much. I don't care. I would look at a wiki to make a potion if I knew I had the stuff to make the potion once I looked at the wiki. But I know when I'm playing Zelda that if I look how to make the potion, I'm going to need a certain kind of fish.

And I don't remember where that fucking fish swims. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the exact same way, except that the game I'm currently learning is chess. And so I'm really at a disadvantage learning absolutely nothing and just seeing my pieces disappear off the board. Yeah. There's some pretty sexy chess streamers out there.

There's this dude who dresses up like a bishop. Chess cosplay. And you know that piece looks like a dick. That's our new thing, Jordan. Chess cosplay. We're fucking, we're gonna be nerd celebrity rich guys with this chess cosplay thing we just invented. Oh, man.

I'm so glad we invented it. I'm gonna make a castle hat. How jughead of you. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Get yourself a greasy sack of burgers and you'll be a sex symbol.

Carly, are you learning to play chess because of that Netflix show, Queen's Gambit? No, which is pretty pathetic on my end because I just bypassed the whole trend of it and was like, what can I do to give me a reason

to wake up in the morning? And it's chess. Carly, follow-up question. Did you take up chess because of that Netflix show Lupin? No, but the two did happen at the same time. Yeah. So how did you decide? Why did you pick?

I mean, you're a grown adult woman. Yes, yes, yes. Did you have a chess background i knew not a thing about chess until last monday i i don't know why i did it i think part of it was that i wanted to feel elitist and then the other part is that i just needed something to learn because the the way i see it is that once i'm vaccinated, I'm never going on my computer again. I am going to be permanently out. I'm not learning a new skill once I have that second shot.

So this is my last chance to learn something that's been on my to-do list for years. So I'll learn it. I'll lose a few times to my husband. I'll never pick it up again. And then I'll be out and about living my life. So this is sort of a time filler for you. This is just, this is you marking the days. It's the equivalent of the scratches on the wall of a prison cell.

Extremely. Yes. I had a little chess experience not too long ago. Someone on Twitter, a nice Twitter follower, was kind of wondering aloud and tagged me. They're like, I wonder if Jordan Morris plays chess. And I retweeted them with, I know how to play chess. I'm not great. If you send me proof that you pre-ordered the bubble graphic novel, I will play a game of chess with you. Wow. I love this. And I'm like, this is fun.

This is a fun idea. We want people to pre-order that graphic novel. So I'm like, this will be a fun thing. But then the request started coming in. I'm like, oh, shit. How much time have I accidentally promised to devote to this? I mean, given your, what I presume to be, I'm assuming that you're about as good at chess as I am, which is to say, I know what the different guys do. That's about where I'm at. I did have a little chess phase

as a kid, but have not really played as an adult. Do you have any favorite gambits? Oh, well, I mean, well, of course, there's the queens. And then, of course, there's the queens and then of course there's the uh x-men that can uh charge up uh everyday objects with kinetic energy sure not unlike that that lock from zelda and then you hit something with your sword yeah that is good yeah i'd say those are my top two gambits and i'm like okay so i'll but i'm like okay this this could be a very time

consuming thing i've gotten myself into. But I'm going to do it. I made an online promise and I'm going to follow through with it. So I started playing these chess games. And I'm like, oh, this is great. This won't take long at all because I fucking suck and lose in 10 minutes. The people stomped me so hard and fast. And I was genuinely embarrassed.

I'm like, oh, I am glad that this didn't take all of my free time for a week, but I am also embarrassed at how quickly and thoroughly I lost every single game. There's not a lot of casual chess players around. You know what I mean? No. lot of casual chess players around you know what i mean no like there's not a lot of people who have the same relationship to chess that you might have to like you know that new york times game where you look for the different words in the circle of letters oh yeah not a lot of people are just like 10 minutes in line i'm gonna play a chess real quick yeah i bet they i didn't watch the queen's gambit and i was playing and getting beat i'm like i bet there's some fucking secret in the queen's gambit that all these jokers know i didn't catch

because i was watching raised by wolves on hbo max what what is the box what is the box that i always see them hit you know that box oh i don't know maybe that's why i lost i wasn't hitting the box there's no box on the chess.com iphone app there's no box no yeah i gotta get a box fuck that's why i was losing i wasn't smacking a box that's what i think do you think you'll take it out into the post-covid world and like start playing like dudes in the park bobby fisher style i would love to i would love to have that like you know it's like a little trick in my back pocket, just casually rolling up to one of those tables. But I think it's going to go by the wayside like every single thing I learned in high school. Yeah. I would focus on something more practical. You know what I mean? Like chess, it's too abstruse. If you're

going to develop a skill, get one that you can use in your day-to-day life like i'm thinking bananagrams but whatever you want to do is so fun i mean i guess i haven't yeah i haven't gotten to like a magic phase yet not the gathering the art of illusion yeah i guess either one would be fine yeah the gathering's not a phase that's a lifestyle tapping mana and so forth sarah angel okay there we go i said it yes we officially exhausted all of our magic the gathering i remember that one it was an important. I think magic requires a level of loneliness and focus. Like a combination of like when I get lonely, I'm dicking around on the internet. I'm not learning something.

So it takes both focus and loneliness. And that is a slim sort of Venn diagram in the middle of which is, I guess, Neil Patrick Harris and Steve Martin. So harsh. I could fully envision myself, that pocket is the two months before you get a vaccine. So the only thing I fear is that now that I have seen Lupin, it's a fine line between learning the art of illusion and just thievery, just straight up thievery. And I don't want to get into that. Why are you learning chess when you could be learning cat burglary? It would be much more beneficial. Yeah.

And you'd get a little wear out of those turtlenecks. I associate cat burglary with turtlenecks, by the way. I don't know why I do that. A Steve McQueen movie, maybe? I'm dedicating my life to cat burglary. I'm not going to be one of those fucking French bullshit cat burglars. I'm going to be a to-catch-a-thief style cat burglar. And I'm going to be wearing a boat neck sweater shirt with stripes on it and a little neckerchief.

That's pretty French. Now that I say it out loud, that's pretty French. God, I've never just picked up a big old diamond necklace and pulled my shirt out and dropped it down there and had it stay. And I kind of want to do that now. That would be amazing. That would be great. Okay, let's take a break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Carly Weisel, and I'm shocked I'm here.

We're thrilled to have you, Carly. Give me a break. You're bringing the heat here. Can we just take a minute? Can I just read a couple things off the menu from Wario's Beef and Pork in Columbus, Ohio? I insist that you do, yeah. Yeah, so we got the steak, Wario's Way. That's eight ounces of shaved ribeye. House Wiz,

Gold Onions, White American, house whiz, rolled onions, white American provolone and whiz, Toronto roll. Jeez, there's so much fucking cheese on that thing. Jordan, a steak Wario's way is just served upside down. Wario's spuds, that's house spuds topped with shaved ribeye,

whiz, roasted garlic, Wario sauce and long hots. What's a long hot? What's Wario sauce? I don't know, but it costs 50 cents. Yeah, well, I mean, Wario can only provide it once or twice a day. Jesse, are you suggesting that it's cum? You sick fuck.

You sick fuck. You're the one who brought up Wario's long hot. I did not intend for any of this to be sexual in your fucking filthy, depraved mind. I can't believe you went there, dude. I am so disappointed that you would drag this fucking show into the gutter by suggesting that Wario's sauce from Wario's Beef and Pork in Columbus, Ohio has actually come from Mario's enemy.

Jordan, you better change your name to Miss Jackson because I'm nasty. Isn't your name Miss Jackson in that situation? No, I think your name is Miss Jackson and I'm nasty.

Well, we I'm nasty. Okay. Yeah. Well, we figured it out. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just want one of these sandwiches. They look so fucking good. Yeah, I mean, put that whiz on there, man. I'll tell you, whiz is my top quarantine indulgence.

No one else in my family wants it, which is great. So I just buy a can of Cheez Whiz. I've had a can of Cheez Whiz in the pantry cabinet since the beginning of quarantine. It's like, I will just take out some crackers, put some Cheez Whiz on them and sneakily shove them into my mouth twice a day. It's great. Carly, what are yours? What's your whiz on them and sneakily shove them into my mouth twice a day. It's great. Carly, what are yours? What's your whiz? Oh, I can't have whiz in the house because I love it too much.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So the things I do have that I just eat constantly are jelly beans. I eat a lot of jelly beans. Yeah, Ronald Reagan style. Yes. A lot of jelly beans. Yeah, Ronald Reagan style.

Yes. Except that unlike him, I have a multi-tiered container. So I can just fuck with a different flavor whenever I feel like it. A multi-tiered container? Yeah. I can't even picture that. How does it work? It's like I have a lot of glass jars of candy in my office, which as you can tell, I get no work done. And so one of them has three portions

to it. So it has one lid and then you lift little ones up kind of like a like a tiffin. You know what I mean? Like a multi level lunch container. Huh? What's the top? What's your top bean? Watermelon. I think watermelon is really something special, especially because the inside is also pink outside green like they went the extra step. Whoa, really? That's cool because the inside is also pink, outside's green. Like, they went the extra step. Whoa, really? That's cool. What brand is this? Oh, Jelly Belly only.

Oh, wow. Good stuff, Jordan. Brand name. No Brock's for you guys. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. What's your cheese whiz? Oh, what's my cheese whiz oh what's my cheese whiz boy i mean i i uh i i threw out a lot of my cheese whizzes just just to try and be a little bit healthier up until very recently my cheese whizzes

my cheese whiz was uh wavy lays happy to just sit and eat a fucking bag of wavy lays um you know alone while you know half watching an episode of family feud with the sound off just that's that to me that's that's a little slice of heaven i would say that my oh my uh my whiz now is this uh like greek garlic dip. Do you guys know about this kind of... Wario sauce? It might be. Holy shit. Have I been eating Wario sauce this whole time? This label looks like it comes up. It says garlic sauce.

I've been eating gum this whole time. What a world. Well, at least now you have a tummy baby. Yeah, that's true. Oh, God. Tummy baby. Got your tummy pregnant, I guess.

I wonder what my targeted ads are going to be after this. It's probably for tummy eggs. Yeah. Hey, we got some calls? Yeah, let's take a call. Momentous occasions, et cetera, et cetera. JJ, go at MaximumFun.org. 206-9844-FUN.

Hi, Jordan. Hi, Jesse. Hi, guest. I feel like I'm on that old... This is just Alison Becker. Alison Becker does not listen to our show. She has too much dignity. Alison Becker is not listen to our show she has too much dignity Alison Becker is in Mensa

why would she listen to our show this is some kind of weird scheme some shenanigans let's see if we can figure this out I feel like I'm on that old game show from the 60s or something where you had to just listen to someone's voice and see if you recognized who it is.

Do you know who this is? Hey, guys, it's Alison Becker. But I'm not calling about a momentous occasion for myself. I'm calling on behalf of the winner of the Walton Goggins Noggins Challenge. That's right. The owner slash inventor of the drink, the Righteous Goggins Noggins Challenge. That's right. The owner slash inventor of the drink, the Righteous Gingerbread Noggins. I'm calling on behalf of the one and only Bill Edivane.

Bill asked me to call you for the very simple task of firing Jordan. So I'm sorry, Jordan. You are a great friend to me and to America, but I'm sorry, though. Oh, man. A little bit of context for our listeners at home. When we're not podcasting, this is a Long John Silvers. Wow. Well, this is how I find out. Well, I'm glad, you know, I'm glad it could be through a friend that's so great and loyal as Allison. I mean, takes some of the sting off, definitely. As guest, am I legally implicated in this?

I mean, I think you're the new me. It's how that works. Oh, I just inherited a job. You did. Yeah. Congratulations. You have to kill Jordan. I can do that. Yeah.

I mean, I didn't say I don't think you can kill Jordan. I said you have to do it. It's not... Obviously, you can kill Jordan. There's a thousand ways to kill Jordan. I'm very killable. Soft flesh. It's not like he's Achilles and you have

to get him in the heel. You can kill him all kinds of ways. I just want my, I guess now, coworker, boss, I don't know, our new relationship. I just want you to know that I'm committed to this and I will off him. Thank you. Wow. Thank you very much. Yeah, you're very welcome. I mean, just know that if you do it a knifey way, it could be messy. I'm not saying don't do it a knifey way. Just know it could be messy. Are you referring specifically to the tummy baby I also have to kill? Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. Listen, if anybody finds me dead with a teared jelly bean jar smashed around me, you know who did it. Avenge me, listeners. Avenge me. Okay, let's take another call. Listeners won't fucking avenge me. Hi, Jordan. Hi, Jesse. take another call. Listeners won't fucking avenge me. Hi, Jordan. Hi, Jesse.

Hi, guest. I want you to know, Jordan, Jesse, that when you have me on your podcast, it's Alison Becker again, by the way. When you have me on your podcast and you tell your listeners that I am on Cameo, they are going to go on Cameo and they are going to order cameos of me calling into your show because they are brilliant and this is hilarious anyway this call is about a momentous occasion from alan from savannah who wants me to let you know that they hit a penguin in their pants so that i could tell you about it that's quite a momentous occasion. Also, Jesse, sorry, buddy. The time has come. I have been tasked with letting you go from the podcast. I know I don't have the authority to do so,

but Cameo has spoken and so it must be. So good luck. I'm a podcasting pioneer. Wow. So Carly, your job just got a little bigger. Oh boy. I guess you have to kill Jesse as well. I guess, yeah, I can do that.

I'm capable and I'm committed to doing that. But who do I report to now? Who's my direct report? What happens now? Brian, I guess. I'm as uncomfortable with it as you are. I'm sure he's not nuts about it, but you're going to have to report to Brian. Does this make Allison like a cameo recruiter? Yeah.

Yeah, I think that's right. I think she gets 10% of your first year's salary. If someone just paid her twice to give me this new job, I mean. I want to make it clear. Someone let me know on Twitter that they're, I'm paraphrasing here, but they're like 14-year-old daughter got an A on an exam,

which, you know, it's hard to go to school and quarantine on the internet, you know, Zoom school, click, click, click, mute, unmute, all this crap. You know, you'd rather just be out skateboarding with your friends at the skateboarding park. So the daughter got an A on the exam and they bought a cameo from Allison because the daughter is a big parks and recreation fan and a big fan of that action park movie, Traction Park, that Allison's in. and uh uh class action park

class action park that's what they called it um and uh they said it was really touching for the for the 14 year old girl maybe 15 i don't know 12 17 don't know but um it's not just it's not just people calling in these gags it's it about touching people's lives, changing them for the better. You know what I mean? Going to children's. Buy an Alison Becker cameo for a Make-A-Wish child who asks to meet Amy Poehler. You know? Let's do this.

Maybe a European child that wants to meet the soccer player that has the same name as Alison Becker. Brian, we got any other calls there? This next one better be a cameo from, I don't know, like the guitar player of Great White or something like that. Jordan, Jesse, guest, what's up? It's Alison Becker again. And I'm calling one more momentous occasion for you.

This one is from Dana. Dana Becker. No relation to me, by the way. But Dana Becker wants me to tell you that I just made $102 on Cameo by calling in to Jordan Jessico three times. So I just want to thank you guys for that. I'm going to go treat myself to a sushi dinner this was the easiest $102 I ever made

you guys are the best also Brian congratulations on being promoted to host you're awesome solid solid that listener not related to Alison Becker but oddly

a second cousin to the sitcom Becker starring Ted Danson. Oh yeah. Hey, great bit. Whoever organized that great bit. Very good. I'm sure it was Lawthreaper. And yeah,

tune in, tune in next week for Carly and Brian. Carly and Brian, what's your new show going to be? Are you just going to do chatting like this? Are you going to have a topic? Or how's it going to work? I mean, I'd love to just talk about Wario and Cheez Whiz.

I didn't mind this. Is that cool with you, Brian? Yeah. That's it. We're doing it. Okay. So the content of the show will not change drastically. That's good.

It's going to be called nacho video game and we're just gonna dabble in all things cheesy and fun can i do another pitch for the name you don't work here but sure and you will be dead wow i i'm i am offended but i do think this name is good enough to pitch. I'm-a gonna wheeze. Because we all know how Wario says, I'm-a gonna ween. Yeah. So I'm-a gonna wheeze seems like it would be the natural. I don't know.

Your pitch was good. That's a hat on a hat. We can go to lunch. You know what? Fire Brian and hire Pauly Shore and then call it I'm-a-gonna-wee's. I'm-a-gonna-wee-oh. And in parentheses, the juice. I'm-a-gonna-wee's the juice.

Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm going first. It's me, Jackie Kation. Man, she's always this bossy. Hi. I'm Lori Kilmartin. We're a bunch of stand-up comics, and we've been doing comedy like 60 years total with both of us,

but we look amazing. We drop every Monday on MaxFun, and it's called The Jackie and Lori Show, and you can listen to it and learn about comedy and learn about anger management and all the things. And Jackie is married but childless, and I'm unmarried but childful. So together, we make one complete woman. Is that just what's going to happen? Yeah.

And we try to make Kyle laugh just like that and say, oh, my God, every episode. It's going to end. Yeah, yeah. And we try to make Kyle laugh just like that and say, oh my God, every episode. It's a good job. Jackie and Lori Show, Mondays, only on Maximum Fun. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. One, two, one, two, three, four. Hi, everybody. My name is Justin McElroy.

I'm Sydney McElroy. We're both doctors and... Nope, just me. Okay, well, Sydney's a doctor, and I'm a medical enthusiast, and we create Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine. Every week, I dig through the annals of medical history to bring you the wildest, grossest, sometimes dumbest tales of ways we've tried to treat people throughout history.

Lately, we do a lot of modern fake medicine because everything's a disaster, but it's slightly less of a disaster every Friday right here on MaximumFun.org as we bring you Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine. And remember, don't drill a hole in your head. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

I'm Carly Weisel, and I thought you two just got fired. I don't know why you're here. I'm just running out the string, you know. I'm waiting for the security guard to show up with my banker's box to put my bobblehead collection into. It's our farewell show. Yeah, tune in next week. Carly and Brian, honestly, probably a better show. I'll be perfectly frank.

I think it'll improve the quality. Yeah, I mean, we've been doing this, Jordan. Improve the quality. What is it, 12, 13 years? I think we've demonstrated what we bring to the table and taint much, taint much. Sure. You had a good run. I'm sorry it had to end like this. No, you know, it was good, but honestly, it's time, you know, let's let a new generation of podcast listeners fall in love with Carly and Brian.

And let me be clear, Carly, I know that we've been fired, and so it's not really my place to make corrections, but I wouldn't so much say we've had a good run as a long run. That's true. Like, we have been doing this for quite a long time, to very minimal acclaim. Gotcha. Well, Brian and I will try very hard to do a bit better than that, then. Brian and I will try very hard to do a bit better than that then. Speaking of good podcasts, Carly, you have a podcast, which if I'm understanding my information correctly, just wrapped up a kind of a Shrek miniseries. Yes. We ended our first season with, I'd say a bang, but the negative reviews of the Shrek episodes would say otherwise.

We did a month long focus on Shrek called Shrekcember, which is a lifestyle that I am now committed to going forward. I have publicly declared it. I will be doing Shrekcember well into my 80s, I presume. Wow. What does Shrekcember well into my 80s, I presume. Wow. What does Shrekcember entail? Okay, so Shrekcember is a celebration of all things Shrek, but it began because there was this tweet by Ben Meckler, and it went viral, and basically he was referencing a phone call he had with his mother where his mom very matter-of-factly said that Shrek is Jewish. Oh, sure. Just like William Steig, his creator. Yes, which we think because, you know, he technically birthed Shrek, that does make Shrek a Jewish descendant, yada, yada, yada, literally it

goes on. And as someone who's in the theme park space everything is christmas all november all december there is nothing for jewish people so as a jewish person i thought we already have shrek in the theme parks why don't we just celebrate him and hold him up to this high standard and just really have a jewish hero within a theme park and i'm going to will it into existence that he will wear a jewish star sweater it's gonna happen because i'm not gonna stop talking about it until it does and so i just dove into a new shrek story every week in december and will continue to do so every year going forward yeah i think it's time to make that the star of Shrek. Sorry, David. Bad news for you, buddy. But the podcast is not just the Shrek was a seasonal thing.

But your your podcast typically is is theme park news, theme park gossip, things like that. Yeah, it's just a lighthearted take on all things happening in theme parks paired with me not being able to shake the fact that I'm a journalist. So it's a lot of deep dives into things that usually a lot of us would make jokes about on Twitter and then move on with our day. Specifically, like the weird time when a bunch of Star Wars sodas from the theme parks wound up in a budget grocery store, exploring and confirming if Goofy is a cow or a dog. Just, you know, your everyday type of subjects. I'm really happy to hear that it's a lighthearted take on these subjects because I've been looking for a compliment to the Economist's theme park podcast. I don't just want more of that heavy stuff, you know? Yeah, they were very serious about the cow-dog debate. Wait, what is it?

I mean, people should obviously download the podcast, and I don't want you to, you know, give away the information here. I mean, listen, that was just the mailbag episode. There's plenty more. Okay. So is he a cow or a dog? He is a dog. Wow.

But he is a, the actual quote is very long, and I probably shouldn't just loosely say he's a dog wow but he is a the actual quote is very long and i probably shouldn't just loosely say he's a dog because uh the wonderful people at the uh walt disney animation archives confirmed like a whole bunch of stuff to me which like you gotta keep in mind some of the emails i'm sending about this podcast are definitely gonna ruin my my career. But regardless, he walks upright. He's like a man with dog-like features, I believe was what Dave Smith from the original archives attributed to Goofy. Wow.

That is, yeah, well, that's good. I'm glad that someone, I'm glad someone is doing the deep dives. Yeah, basically, if you're a little into theme parks it's a good time i don't want to scare you with all this cow discussion he's just a man with dog-like features like law and order star and former u.s senator fred thompson looked a little like a dog probably well carly it's been a delight to have you on the program thank you for joining us of course thank you for having me our theme music love you by the

free design courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records you can find us on social media we're on twitter at jordan underscore morris and at jesse thne and with the hashtag JJ go. We're on Facebook. Just search for Jordan, Jesse go or go to facebook.com slash Jordan, Jesse go. We're on Instagram. Jordan is at Jordan,

David Morris. I am at put dot this dot on. We're of course on the worldwide web at MaximumFun.org we love you and good night MaximumFun.org Comedy and Culture Artist Owned Audience Supported