Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 675: FYI RE PCP with Jahara James

Episode Date: February 16, 2021

Jahara James (Twitch Streamer, Crush It Queens podcast) joins Jordan and Jesse to talk about what's it's like to destroy Calamity Ganon in Zelda Breath of the Wild because ALL THREE people on this week's show have accomplished that very task, pop culture from childhood that doesn't seem like it actually existed, and mini-fridges for your skincare products.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Herbal tea common? Oh wow, so Jordan isn't here, this is Herbal Tea Kalman, my good friend. Yes, Jesse. It's so good to be here with you. It's just so yummy to be here. I'm so happy to be talking to you again. It's been a few months since I've talked to you, Herbal Tea Kalman. Are you drinking herbal tea right now?

I am. I'm having a Yogi brand bedtime tea on the bag. I'm going to read you the inspirational message on the bag. Every neighbor can be your teacher. Isn't that yummy? Wow. That's beautiful. That's inspirational. Jesse, I wanted to come here today to talk about a new business venture. Would you give me the floor?

Yeah, you have the conch, Herbal Tea Kalman. You know, this has been a tough time for me, as it has for, you know, many souls on this earth. And, you know, I think my Reiki healing business has obviously, you know, been declining now that we can't, you know, meet people in person. you know, been declining now that we can't, you know, meet people in person. So I'm doing what so many others have been doing during this as I've pivoted. Sure. And what I've pivoted to is, well, Jesse, let me ask you, how's your pelvic floor? Unfortunately, it's not as strong as I'd like it to be. Well, have you considered kegels? I hadn't. I honestly didn't know what to do about it. It's a pretty significant issue for me. Here's what I have. I'm a big believer in kegels. A strong pelvic floor equals a strong soul. Yeah. The pelvic floor is where the

soul resides, some cultures say. Really? What cultures? Oh, just all kinds. You should see the blankets they make. So beautiful. Thank you. So alive. So here's, I'll explain the basics of the kegel. Uh-huh. And then I'll talk to you about what I'm doing with the kegel. Okay. Your basic kegel, you want to make sure your bladder is empty. Right. Then sit or lie down. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles. Thank you. Hold tight and count three to five. Three, four, five.

Good, yummy. Now relax the muscles and count three to five again. Three, four, five. And then repeat 10 times, three times a day, morning, afternoon, and night. Now, I think the question everyone is asking is, what do you do for those three to five seconds and um you know i think um something you can do is to be grateful because while you're flexing the tiny area between your balls and your anus just think of something that you're grateful for and while you you're doing your kegel, just shout it out.

Just shout it out, you know, while you're kegeling. Grateful kegels, I call them. Trademark. Herbal Tea Coleman Industries. A subsidiary of Halliburton. You know, this is different from the company that owns your real estate. That's Herbal Tea Coleman and Associates. Yes.

LLC. My associates in this case are my ungrateful sons. Now, let me demonstrate. I'm going to do some kegels, and then I'm going to say some things I am grateful for. I got to get some sons. Mother's love! Okay. That was really beautiful.

Okay, time for another one. Coin star! It's a good way to consolidate that loose change. It's incredibly convenient. And you know what? If you get an Amazon gift card, they don't even charge you the... You get the full amount. Time for some more kegels and bagels.

Sure. Be thankful for bagels while you're doing your kegels. Especially a smaller, chewy bagel. That's my favorite. And finally, one more time. Bagel bites! Oh, wow. Yummy.

Jesse, do you want to try one? Yeah, I would love to. So I just... You just flex the area Between your Balls And your ass And just shout out Something you're grateful for

National Geographic For kids Yeah Like that makes Learning fun Can I do one more Yeah you can do one more But only one more

Zoo books Seems like you're really grateful For products that make learning fun Alright Lead pad learning systems It's like a laptop Sounds like you've got Grateful kegels down Jesse

I haven't really found a way to make money off this yet So I don't know how it's going to replace my Reiki business. But, you know, I'm just going to keep pivoting. Hey, Jordan, can I suggest something? Can I suggest something? Who do you want to suggest something to? To you, Herbal Tea Company. Yes, thank you.

Who's Jordan? I couldn't tell you. Can I make a suggestion for how to make money on this? You may. 20 bucks a pop. I like it. That's reasonable. A sawbuck.

20 bucks a pop is a sawbuck three times a day, morning, midday, evening, 20, 20, 20. That's 60 a day. You're basically rolling it. Jesse, you're a shrewd business person, and I thank you for that advice. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get my neighbor's dog out of my fucking flower bed. It's always pissing in there. Hey, Jesse, I'm sorry I'm here. Sorry I was a little bit late.

Did the show... Oh, it's okay. I was talking to Herbal T. Kallman. Oh, really? How'd it go? Yeah, Herbal T. Kallman was there. He taught me how to do kegels, which I think is going to be great because, I mean, maybe this is a little bit of a TMI, Jordan, but I've been pissing my pants all the time. Sure. yeah sure i mean kickles are a great way to combat that

oh it is brutal it is brutal do you have any idea how many pants i go through i mean are you throwing away the pants or do you wash them afterwards i throw them away but you know i've actually it's gotten to the point where I wear basketball warm-up pants, the tearaway kind with the snaps. Right. So I'll shoot around the world. Once I knock down the trays, I let loose, wet them down, tear them off. Have you thought about just like tearing them off right as you're starting to pee?

I mean, I don't want to just walk around with no pants on. Yeah, you're right. That'd be weird. Yeah. Just keep pissing in them then. What was I thinking? I don't know. What's going on?

What is this show? Hard to say. This is a show. Why do we do this? Should we introduce our guest and see if she's still here or if she's bailed? Our guest is a Twitch streamer and TikTok star. It's the first time I've said either of those things on this program. She's probably best known for one time doing a lip sync video of a moment from Jordan Jesse

Go, which we were all very excited about. Joining us live via internet from Phoenix, Arizona, home of the time that I waited for a bus when it was 115 degrees outside, Jahara James. Hi, Jahara. How are you? I am so good. I'm not blaming you for that having happened. It's just that I didn't have a driver's license at the time.

And so I had to catch a bus. And it was about 15 or 20 minutes I was standing out there at that bus stop. Really could have used an umbrella or something. You'd think they would have shades at the bus stop, but they don't. You know what I'd like to have seen? Those misters. Yeah, those are nice. Like when it gets too hot at Universal Studios.

Always welcome. I love a mister. I'll go through a mister. It could be 60 degrees outside. I'll go through the mister. Fuck it. Jahara, I think we, I think i think i think i don't want to jump the gun but i think we have something great here so you one of the games you stream a lot of on

your twitch channel is legends of zelda breath of the wild correct it certainly is it's my main game yeah your main what are your sub games um games Games that are inspired by Breath of the Wild. So similar in gameplay, but not Breath of the Wild. Maybe I can't think of any examples off the top of my head. Sure. Some games that people would think of would be like Genshin Impact that came out last year. Oh, sure. I'm constantly thinking about Genshin Impact.

Another one's called Immortalsoenix rising basically like any oh i've heard of that yeah like open world kind of rpg that came out after breath of the wild that's like hey let's let everybody climb whatever they want and see how they like that you're you're mainly in it for the climbing obviously i bought uh i bought myself a copy of immortals phoenix rising for exactly the reason you described i spent after jordan dropped his nintendo wii u off at my house i spent the the next seven months playing zelda breath of the wild until i finally defeated calamity ganon once i defeated calamity gan, I thought about going back and collecting all the nuts that I hadn't collected yet. But I decided to try a new game and I went on Twitter to ask what new game I should get.

Somebody suggested a different Zelda. So I got the other Zelda, but I haven't played that one yet. Somebody suggested a Lego City Undercover, which I haven't played that one yet. Somebody suggested Lego City Undercover, which I've been playing a lot of. This is sort of wacky. This is sort of wacky version of Lego. I don't know if you guys know about this wacky Lego. It's like all the Legos are constantly doing, you know, making pop culture references. Like the Legos are talking about WAP? Oh, God.

Exactly. Yeah. Exactly that. Yeah. It's all just corn man talking about Cardi B. Wall wet-ass Legos. Oh my lord.

So, Immortals Phoenix Rising. First of all, it's one of the things that they've borrowed from Zelda Breath of the Wild. Is the video game naming convention of having something, colon, something that doesn't quite make sense. Yes. Because the Phoenix is spelled F-E-N-Y-X, which I don't know what that is. It might be my guy. Yeah, it's your character's name.

Okay. Well, Jesse, that's on you for not knowing that. okay well jesse that's on you for not knowing that when i'm going around in this game zeus is doing gags he is while you're going around zeus is talking shit and what's weird about it is in classic video game fashion they've got some solid bits in there like some poor producer at a video game company wrote a few good gags for zeus to do but then they had to find video game voice actors that can do greek accents and there's like they're not nailing the gags i'll just say they're not they're not nailing them so it is very weird to be going around in this zelda inspired game uh and then every once in a while the god of lightning makes a joke at your expense but misses the mark a little

what's been you jahara what's been your experience playing immortals phoenix rising um honestly it was a lot of commentary i'm i'm cracking up because in the very beginning i was streaming it and a lot of times i was like so you guys maybe i just don't know so correct me if i'm wrong because maybe i just don't know are So correct me if I'm wrong, because maybe I just don't know. Are these Greek accents that they're doing? Because it doesn't feel like it. Like it feels like that's what they're going for. But I'm not really feeling the Greek here.

Sure. You're asking the same questions that you might ask about the goons in a Liam Neeson movie. Where are these guys supposed to be from? I wanted to ask, so you do play a lot of Breath of the Wild. Have you defeated Calamity Ganon? I sure have. I have 100% of the game, and I'm on my second playthrough right now. So you realize what we have here,

three hosts on one podcast who have all defeated Calamity Ganon. I mean, this is extraordinary. This is great! This is the new cereal. Tell your friends, write about us, New York Times. That woman from The New Yorker is about to put us in that fucking column she's got. I would love to be in that column. Three hosts who have all defeated Calamity Ganon.

He caused the end of the world, basically. Can I ask you guys a really serious question? This is huge. Yes, you may. I'm pretty sure Jad Abumrad has defeated Calamity Ganon. But I don't think Krolwich has. Krolwich? No fucking way Krolwich has defeated Calamity Ganon, but I don't think Crow-Witch has. Crow-Witch? No fucking way Crow-Witch has defeated Calamity

Ganon. Crow-Witch hasn't even defeated Ganondorf. Oh. The man who would become Ganon. And then Calamity Ganon. Wait a minute. Is Ganondorf from the series of direct

to VHS movies about Zelda? No, that's Tim Conway playing golf on his knees. Dorf on Triforces. What? What was that? Jahara, you may be, look, I've only seen you stream. I don't know what generation you come from. You may be too young to remember television commercials

for Dorf on Golf, in which a guy who was very funny and famous in the 70s wore shoes on his knees and was bad at golf. I think? I do not remember. What was that? Maybe it didn't exist. This could be a Mandela effect situation.

Yeah. Jahara, when you do Breath of the Wild, Maybe it didn't exist. This could be a Mandela effect situation. Jahara, when you do Breath of the Wild, when you stream it, what is your goal? Are you trying to speed run? Are you trying to do trick shots with the bow and arrow? Or are you just trying to entertain? What's the goal? So when I first started, my goal was to survive.

Whether that meant running from everything. It was actually one of the first video games I ever played. I hadn't been playing video games for that long, and I was really in it for mostly the apple picking and the fact that I could cut grass everywhere with no consequences. There is just some pastoral shit you can do in that game yes i was like yeah i'll just pick some apples sit in the grass cut that like pet a horse pet a horse feed him an apple and then you found out i'm presuming you spent a long time cutting grass and picking apples then you went on the wiki and found out you can ride a pig. I haven't.

I've ridden a horse. I've ridden a deer. I tried to ride a bear, but they were not for it. They did murder me several times over. Bears will do that. Bears will do that. I'm still trying to get that one.

And my biggest disappointment with the game is that they wouldn't let me take a deer. When I took a deer all the way to one of the pastures for the horses, they wouldn't let me keep it. They were like, that's a deer. And I was like, I'm aware. Can you? Yeah, I know, asshole.

Can I keep it? Put it in a cage and feed it apples, motherfucker. Here's my $20. Take care of this thing. That's what they charge you, Jordan. I don't know if you've played Breath of the Wild. I have. I have.

I'm a heated calamity ganon. I fucking told you. To put your horse in a cage and feed it apples. So at first you were just trying to survive. Did that change? Now are you doing slow motion trick shots from five screens away? I'm getting there. At the moment, I'm pretty sure the reason people watch me,

you guys have talked about streamers before, people certainly don't watch me for my amazing skills at the game. I think mostly it's the sheer entertainment value and commentary that I make while I'm playing. But with my second playthrough, I'm trying to get really good at parrying those guardians and fighting those Lynels, because I want to try master mode. So I'm doing my best to actually get good at combat instead of button smashing and just seeing if I can. It's been a journey. Do you have this problem playing video games

that I have, which is, you know there's a block or dodge button, but you forgot what it is? Constantly. So much so that at one point when I actually did dodge, my entire chat erupted and was like, who are you? What have you done? You can't possibly be Jahar. You just dodged. You use this fundamental game mechanic. be jihara you just dodged you use this fundamental game mechanic i truly i got through that entire game without ever remembering what the dodge button is so did i it's true you can you're just

like if you just get overpowered enough and just load up on ancient arrows like why do i need to dodge when i can just kill you first yeah i got to the end of the game, and there's these, you mentioned lionels. I just assumed that it was the famous model train, but it turns out to be a, it turns out to be kind of a big lion monster. And this thing is so powerful, and it's biting me or whatever. I can't remember.

It shoots fireballs, something like that. And I'm like, well, what happens if I shoot it with one of these arrows I bought at the ancient tech lab? It just disappears. You shoot it with one and it just disappears. I'm like, why have I not been doing this the entire time? I've been in these fucking fights trying to remember the dodge button this whole time. I had that exact same experience.

I was like, are these really strong? They're like, yeah, go try it. I was like, all right. And then it just disappeared into a black hole. And I was like, what the fuck just happened? This is the real question, though, Jahara, about this. So you said something that I found fascinating. Huh? So you said something that I found fascinating, which is you decided to become at least a semi-professional Twitch streamer without really having played video games?

Yeah, so about that one. I've only been a Twitch streamer since August of 2020, And I didn't start out with the expectation of going professional. I started out as someone who liked playing Breath of the Wild and saw that my fiance watched people play on Twitch. And I was like, hey, if you make me an account on there, do you think someone will tolerate, listen to me prattle on while I play this game? Because there's no one else to talk to when I'm playing this game. And he was like, yeah, maybe. maybe so basically this is your sourdough yes it's like your pandemic hobby exactly that's pretty much what happened i mean i feel like i wonder jordan

because you and i have you and i have often speculated about whether we and specifically you should be a twitch streamer instead of a podcaster right and it's always in my mind it's always run up against a fundamental problem which is uh i i could never remember to talk while i'm trying to remember what the dodge button is yeah i mean i i really like when i watch someone on Twitch, I am like always baffled when they are able to both play the game and then like be entertaining. I feel like I am just in such a like zoned out mind space when I'm playing video games. To put together a thought, let alone something like funny, it's a kind of multitasking I feel like I cannot do. It's a kind of multitasking I feel like I cannot do. Yeah, my son, Oscar, my seven-year-old,

he's the most interested in video games in my family. My nine-year-old daughter is not particularly interested, and my four-year-old is four years old. Although he is interested in Zelda. He thinks that's pretty neat. He hates canon. He thinks he's bad news. Smart kid. thinks that's pretty neat he hates canon he thinks he's bad news yeah smart kid my seven-year-old

will like he'll be sitting there playing minecraft or he'll be playing zelda or something he narrates it like as a matter of course i think in the 21st century most people just talk the whole time they're playing video games that's just part of it possibly yeah maybe that's something we will not recognize in our kids like why are you why are you talking while you do this why are you asking for subs when our parents generation was like this isn't music this is just talking oh sure yeah they're gonna be like we're gonna like, this isn't video games. This is just talking. This is entertaining.

Stop being interesting. Yeah, I'm asking for subs when I'm playing video games. Subway sandwiches. Specifically from Subway. Not submarine sandwiches in general. You're specifically looking oh yeah for that sweet fresh five dollar foot long they still do that i don't know yeah probably but they do um jahara in addition to streaming you also you do you do you do tiktoks i think that's how

how we became aware of you as you made a tiktok of our show is that your most popular tiktok to date it's not my most popular one, but it's definitely one of my, it's my most popular one on Twitter. And it's one of my favorites. Ah, yes. Where the old people are. The elderly social network

for complaining about the president. Why is the halftime show bad? All right. It was so fun to do because honestly, it was so spot on. We were dying because you say like, what do you talk about when you're playing? And it literally is just like, what the fuck is this guy? Where did he come from? Is this a new guy?

This entire time, you're like, what are you talking about? I'm just talking smack the whole time. Just lots of smack that's unfounded by skill. There's nothing there to really back it up. But that's what makes it more fun. What is your most popular TikTok? Ah, I have a TikTok

that is a lip, is with a duet with another black cosplayer using audio from a Madea movie. Wow. Yeah, it sounds really weird. Stick with me.

You're really drilling down here, Jahara. There's a lot of stuff in that. I know. It literally is just the two of us standing. And again, it's a duet, so we were in different rooms. But the caption says, is in quotations,

and it says, I never see any black cosplayers. And then we are both waving as somebody walks by. And then the audio is like, she don't see us? And it's like, I never see any black cosplayers. And then we are both waving as somebody walks by. And then the audio is like, she don't see us. And it's like, do you see me? And it's like, yeah, I see you. I'm like, well, what just happened?

And it blew up to like over a million views. Wow. Between the two of us. That's kind of amazing. Yeah, it was really nice. And to be honest, I was actually quite surprised. The majority of comments on there and there are several thousand are all just really really um uplifting and positive and you know

it's kind of like an avatar moment like navi they're like we see you i see you and i'm like that's okay we're all just searching for our avatar moment someday i'll find someone whose braid i can intertwine with mine it was 20 years ago that jordan and i first plugged our hair into each other um were you while you were doing this were you were you cosplaying at the time are you like yes yes in that tiktok i was cosplayed as Zelda from Breath of the Wild, actually. Oh, there you go. Yeah, yeah. It's my most popular cosplay.

It's my favorite one to do, and I actually started doing that one because of my Twitch channel. And I told my followers that if we hit 300 people, that I would cosplay Zelda since we were playing Breath of the Wild. And it was so well-received, I was like, maybe I should go put it on TikTok or something. And that's how I started on TikTok. Wow. Previously, you had just been cosplaying as Medea. Maybe we should...

That's what I would like to see at Comic-Con. Jordan, if we go back to Comic-Con, I want to see some Medea cosplay. Yeah. Do you think we could do kind of a similar thing here where we say, you know, if this, you know, if we get, you know, I don't know, like a

hundred, I don't know, what's a good number for the pledge drive, Jesse? I mean, two dozen? Yeah, if we get two dozen new subscribers during the pledge drive, I will do an episode cosplaying as

Waluigi if we get three dozen new subscribers during the drive I will do an episode cosplaying as mama from mama's family what would happen if those two met who would win in a fight

me my buddies mama from a mama's family mama's just trying to impress wario yeah jahar do you is doing like a tiktok with podcast audio is that like is that like a genre you know what it kind of is it just depends um i've only seen a few of them what? It kind of is. It just depends. I've only seen a few of them. Audios can kind of come from anywhere. And usually people just pick the audio either from what's popular or for like if they listen to a podcast that they like. And you can add your own audio to TikTok. But there are a few pretty big TikTokers that use like the same podcast audio and just different episodes as they go. From what I can recall, I think I was the first person to use your guys's audio for a tiktok no lots of people do that

because yeah tons oh tons are always doing it just different teens and young people yeah and some and some of those like cool old people from instagram you know what i mean where it's like an old person and they're wearing a cool outfit and it's like oh old people are cool too some of them do it cardi b as well she's always doing yeah of course cardi b is constantly on tiktok doing jordan jesse go she loves herbal tea, calm and... Right, her favorite recurring bit. Yeah. She doesn't like how the Fauci voice keeps changing. No, it's ambivalent about it.

But, you know, Travis Scott loves it. True, yeah. Travis Scott, when he does his TikToks, he's like, man, I hope that next time the register of Dr. Fauci's voice changes again. And have you seen the shit Machine Gun Kelly is doing with Radiolab? It's extraordinary. The revelations MGK is bringing to the table.

What are your... Do you only cosplay Jahara on internet? Or do you also cosplay, as I like to call it, IRL? Interesting. Yes, IRL. You know, a lot of what I do now is, I guess you could say, a quarantine creator. So I started doing all of this after quarantine hit. So I haven't had a chance to do it irl unless you count me picking up my daughter from

from elementary school while wearing my cosplays when i haven't accidentally allotted enough time to change out of it before i go pick her up like all the moms i love the idea of just all the moms like in their heels you know getting out of their bmws to pick up and they're all judging each other. Then you get out with pointy ears. Yeah. What does your daughter think of seeing her mom dressed like a fantasy character?

She loves it. She's so used to it. Like, I'll change. I cosplay once a day at least. And so she'd be like, ooh, i like your little ears mommy um i like your i like this hair this this this is nice hair today this is nice oh that's a those are cute eyes talking about my contacts there's some cute eyes today mommy those are nice i gotta tell you this jahara i don't think she likes it i think she's patronizing yes. Yes. Like when somebody goes to see your improv show and said,

it looks like you're having fun up there. That's a personal one. I don't know how relatable that is. Jordan, this is Jordan Jessico. Every single one of our listeners is on a local improv team. You're right. Yes, has done a bad improv show at some point. You're right. Jesse, has done a bad improv show at some point. You're right.

Jesse, how do your kids like it when you cosplay as Mama from Mama's Family? Oh, they love it. They love it. They love it. All the different cosplays that I do from syndicated television from the late 1980s and early 1990s. Yes. Yes. They like the small wonders and early 1990s. Yes. They like the small wonder stuff. Oh, they love that small wonder stuff.

They love when I do different characters from M.A.S.H. They just really relate to M.A.S.H. and think that it's definitely a really funny show above all else. Right. They really like it when I do out- this world cosplay right uh i'll do like like i'll do abraham lincoln but from out of this world in the episode where evie brought abraham lincoln to life uh to help her do a school report and then he put a cashmere sweater in the dryer and he says i discovered the make small Small Machine. Fucked up that sweater.

Wow, that is a really specific pull from Small Wonder. Sorry, that's Out of This World. That was Out of This World. Excuse me. It's literally the only thing I remember from Out of This World other than the theme song. You think they stole that from Bill and Ted? What do you think came first? I mean, not this Make Small Machine, but bringing a historical figure to your time to help you with the school project.

Oh, yeah. That's a good point. There was also, now that I think about it, there was an episode where she was trying to catch this giant shark that was threatening local beaches. Go on. Then what happened? Well, there was this other episode i'm just thinking of different episodes that they did right there was an episode where she and a friend were fighter pilots uh she was a sort of she was one of the when it when it came to guns she was amongst the best. Right? Just thinking of

different plots of movies, Jordan. I think Out of This World was ripping shit off left and right, it sounds. Sounds like. I don't know. Was it a strong enough premise to run with? No. Did I anyway? Sure. Why not? Who cares?

I've been fucking playing breath of the wild and just twitch streaming it right now oh they'd love my mama's family cosplay yeah do people help you with the game while you're playing that was something i was kind of curious about the last time we talked to somebody who who twitched can you like get do people like help you like beat something? They do. When I first started playing and I've always wondered if this is also like the atmosphere that I put off in the game because I'm making a lot of jokes and I'm not like super skilled or anything, but the majority of people that would come in the first time, they would be like,

I can teach you how to do that. I can help you out with this. I can show you where that goes. And sometimes I'm like all for it. And sometimes I'm like, let me figure it out. Yeah, right? It may be, Jahara, and I'm just putting this out there. It may be that you are a woman.

Oh, it's definitely that. I was dancing around it, but I'm glad you said it. Have you considered? No, it's definitely that um i get that a lot the oh i've had people even say like i didn't know that women played breath of the wild or like hey there's people in here you know it's only because you're a girl right and i'm like oh i didn't know that. I didn't know that women played Breath of the Wild, the most popular video game. Yep. It's not like it's Leisure Suit Larry. I don't think there's any element of the game that would be alienating to the fairer sex.

Right. I don't know. I think people are just a little bit bit the internet is full of salty trolls that just like to be upset that there's a woman on twitch streaming and someone's actually watching several people are watching i do rather well for myself so i pull quite the number of trolls it's okay uh when you guys are talking about um uh immortal phoenix rising um immortals phoenix Immortal Phoenix Rising. Immortals Phoenix Rising. Excuse me, Immortals. Is the Immortals a series?

Do they need the subtitle? No. No. Not as far as I know. It's the first one. Just going to throw in a subtitle in there for no reason? I think the next one is going to be called Immortals Phoenix Rose. And then I guess Falling.

Yeah. Immortals, Phoenix, Rose, and then I guess falling. Yeah. It's interesting you talking about there being goofy Zeus in it, because I got done with this game Hades not too long ago. Did either of you play Hades? I like Hades. It's fun. Hades is great.

What's Hades? Hades is a game where you are it's set in the world of Greek myth and you are the child of the god of death and you have to like get out of the death dungeon. It's, you know, it's kind of one of these things where you do runs and they're kind of like the

dungeons are procedurally generated so you're doing kind of the same run but the dungeons are different each time and um oh hold on jordan yeah is there a long part before you even get to play where zeus is just capping on sisyphus no that sounds kind of rad though but here's the thing so yes you meet ze, you meet Dionysus, you meet Aphrodite, and the whole endeavor. And I'll be the first to say that, I mean, I think this is a popular take on the game.

Quarantine might be coloring this a little bit, but a whole endeavor is so horny it is just so you it every time you interact and there you interact with one of the gods and it's not that the the conversation is not explicit you know no one's saying you know like check out these check out these balls or whatever right it's well that's what i say every time i'm horny check out these balls feeling randy sure i say to my beautiful wife teresa i say hey teresa check out these balls yeah really setting the mood there you gotta set the mood and you light the scented candle and it's off to the races. It's Valentine's Day, sweetie.

Hey, check out these balls. Check out these balls. So you're just, you're talking to them about the mission. You're talking to them about powers you're going to get. But, you know, you have to like, you know, curry their favor. And it might just be a combination of like the voice acting and the way that they're drawn. They're kind of drawn in this, know kind of heightened anime style and it the it is it's so horny it is just the horniest thing everybody is just and and it and it's it's all game you can romance anyone you give them these nectars and then it improves the rarity of your boons and the whole thing is just so it's so horny

yeah it's it's pretty wild i feel like the whole time i was playing it i just like could escape into this like magical world of horny friends you know and it's kind of you know and it's kind of beautiful when we're not having that IRL contact. Anyway. Jordan, when I was playing Immortals Phoenix Rising, a big problem I was having was Zeus was capping on me for the commonality of my boons. You gotta increase the rarity of the boons. It's like, these boons are a dime a dozen, you fucking clown. I'm just sitting there crying like I was Sisyphus or something jesse you need to start handing out those nectars baby increase the rarity of the boons i know all i'm doing is rolling this rock and having this eagle eat my kidneys does that happen yeah that's what

happens to sisyphus right oh yeah you, yeah. You're right. That's his punishment. You're right. That's his punishment for getting burnt by Zeus. By sassy Zeus. Sounds pretty sassy. Do you think they got Mama from Mama's family to play Zeus in Immortals Fenyx Rising? I think it should be nailing the jokes a little bit better.

Yeah, that's true. From what you were saying, it seems like maybe no one nails a joke like mama right yeah if she didn't she did not leave any meat on the bone when it came to uh chomping down on those gags that is another one where like dorf on that i'm like was that real can i remember one thing from mama's family like if you told me that mama's family was something that i imagined and something that you coincidentally parallel imagined right like the two of us are here we both remember watching mama's family after school on television. That is not enough corroboration for me. I still think that we both coincidentally probably made it up because it is so bonkers

that this weird corn pone, like I wasn't ever sure what mama was supposed to be. Was that a dude dressed up as mama or a or a lady in a crazy old lady outfit couldn't tell you don't remember enough about mama's family just i just remember that that it existed do you think it might have been someone from the carol burnett show i i mean i think it was i think it was like i do feel like i know that about it is there was a like spin-off of the Carol Burnett show, or that it was, you know, like, if Wayne and Garth got their own show or something. She just seemed like the greatest lady in the history of the world. And I was thinking about the fact that the Carol Burnett show is like the absolute most important cultural touchstone that I truly don't know anything about or understand even 1%. Not that I like don't understand it in the sense that like I've watched it and thought this is bad and then judged

people from the 70s. Not like that. I just truly know nothing about Carol Burnett at all. I watched it when I was a kid. That was another rerun. Really? Yeah, totally. It was like a syndicated thing. It was on near when Batman was on, Adam West's Batman.

Yeah, it was funny. It was really funny. I haven't revisited it as an adult, but I remember loving it as a kid. Yeah, it's great. Okay, well, Mama's Family's real. Carol Burnett's show was on television. Yeah. There you have it.

Jahar, are there any things from your childhood that you think might have been imaginary? Hmm. There was this show that I remember about an aardvark, and I'm pretty sure it was real. He was a cartoon. This already sounds fake. I'm pretty sure it was real. A what? Is this Arthur?

Yeah. Yeah. But it was so early on in my time. I know Arthur. And again, I don't know how old you are, but Arthur to me is just one of these things that I know as a thing that is profoundly important and meaningful to people who are a little bit younger than me. It's a space jam. It's a goofy movie. It's these things that I'm like, I was a little bit too old for that, but like it really hit for people that are a little bit younger. I've watched a little bit of Arthur with my children. I mean, I'm the same deal.

I think Arthur hit the demographic of maybe my youngest brother, Brendan, but I've watched a little bit with my kids. It is a really nice show. It's a good show. The Chance the Rapper generation has really nailed it on um being nostalgic about that program hmm i think i was just a little young right can i ask you an

important question though jahara yes and this is actually pursuant to the goofy movies i've i've seen on twitter people discussing this issue with regards to the Goofy movie. Okay. And the question is, is Goofy from the Goofy movie or Arthur African American? From the vagalities that I remember about Arthur as a kid, I would totally perceive Arthur to be African American. Yeah. For Goofy, I've never even considered that fact especially because in the goofy movie they like travel to like that concert and they sing that song of which is an actual masterpiece um with and that singer to me in that movie is black and then i feel like

the girl that max has like a crush on is like latina of some sort and that's just how i felt as a kid but i don't know about goofy i never really thought about goofy i'd like to imagine that for the goofy movie when they decided to book somebody to uh to do the voice of goofy singing they're like They're like, fuck it. We're getting Luther Vandross. Yeah, I know. Those animated movies had a talking voice and a singing voice usually. Yeah, he just goes, hi guys, it's me, Goofy. And then it's just fucking full into James Ingram or something.

Yeah, the most beautiful singing voice. That would be a great gag. They should do that with Goofy at some point. Have him have a beautiful singing voice that would be a great gag they should do that with goofy at some point have him like have a beautiful singing voice i love that i definitely like i feel like the specific argument i've heard is not goofy in general but like specifically in the goofy movie that like many people as children perceived goofy and his son is is it, in the Goofy movie? Yeah, yeah. They specifically, like, nobody is like the Goofy that appears in the three caballeros or whatever, like a Disney short from 1956. None of those, I've never heard someone argue that Goofy is African American, but rather that the specific Goofy movie, Goofy, is African American. Jahara, what media are your do your kids kids consume um primarily youtube actually now that i think about it sure youtube

and my daughter's favorite thing to watch is like video game playthroughs oh wow okay is she like impressed that mom does the same thing or is that different to her i don't know if it's just fucking speed runs honestly though she does backseat gaming all the time when i'm playing she's like mom like those apples are fine but you know who's not fine zelda zelda's in the castle waiting for you and you're picking apples that is a little bit of like a plot hole of that game or a bit of a ludonarrative dissonance as they say is that like you can just spend forever like fucking around in that game you can pick apples you can do all the recipes you can pet all the dogs and just like someone is in prison then they need you you, you know? But here you are just collecting Korok nuts.

God, I love those fucking Korok seeds. Oh, I love them. I do a little dance. A guy comes, woo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! I love it. It's so good. Nintendo sounds fucking...

Nintendo is the best at sounds. No company has created better sounds. Anyway. I think my favorite part of the sounds of Zelda Breath of the Wild is just some characters sometimes will speak English awkwardly and with weird voice acting. And then sometimes that same character will just make noises. And there's no like, I played the whole game and I never understood why it was. Sometimes they talked and sometimes they just went.

While words appeared on the screen. It's a magical world. It's a magical world. It's a magical world. God, I'd love to talk to one of those fucking Koroks just once. That's the dream. What would a Korok say? Could it speak? You know, do you remember, Jordan,

when Chris Fairbanks, years ago on this program, our friend comedian Chris Fairbanks, years ago on this program, our friend comedian Chris Fairbanks, had the wonderful insight that ultimately what we all want to do is take a dog or cat's ear and put it between our lips and go mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mum-mum. I don't, but he's right. Yeah. Correct.

I would love to do that with one of those fucking Koroks. Oh, yeah. Motherfuckers. Just numb the ear a little bit. I just feel like the leaf is probably kind of soft and fuzzy. Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum. I would do. All right.

So we've got some chores for the audience this week. So hit us up on Twitter and let us know. Was Mama's family real? What do you think a Korok tastes like? A lot of assignments this week. Hit us up on socials. Get at us. MySpace, Friendster, Google Wave. google wave yeah fogdog.com what's google wave

it's a thing that google made for a while i don't know my dad was on it huh endorse us on linkedin for mum mum mum mum yeah okay we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And Jahara, your resident black Zelda. RBZ.

We finally got one. 13 years into this podcast. Jordan, all these years we've had transient black Zeldas, but finally one's moving in. Drop by, crash on the couch. Jordan, let's go to Comic-con here's my idea let's go to comic-con i'm mama's from mama from mama's family yep and you're dorf huh and brian is earnest yeah you can be vern the guy Ernest talks to you never see. It's going to be huge. We're going to be in so many photo galleries.

When something momentous happens to you, like you have a fucking sweet-ass idea for what you're going to cosplay at the next Comic-Con, give us a call, 206-984-4FUN, or hit us with a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Here is one example of a person who has done that very thing. Hello, Jordan. Hello, Jesse. Hello, Desk. I'm going to say Dana Gould as Dr. Zayas. Not bad.

This is Eli from Columbus, Ohio. I am sitting right outside of Wario's Beef and Pork. I got myself a cold cut sandwich, which has rosemary, ham, soppressata, hot coppa, picante provolone, house giardiniera, Wario sauce, tomato butter, which is exactly what it sounds like, and shaved lettuce and onions on a Toronto roll. In a few words, enormous and sopping wet. But it's a wonderful sandwich. And just for good measure, I didn't know what long hops were, so I got some long hops on there.

It turns out it's just grilled hot peppers. All right. Love you bunches. What is a rock? Get dressed every day. What is a rock? What is a rock? Get dressed every day. What is a rock? What is a river? Get dressed every day. It's a new one.

That's the new slogan. Okay, so some background. But before the background, Jahar, I want to ask you, what are your Instagram ads, if you have Instagram? Thank you, Jordan. I want to presume you, what are your Instagram ads? If you have Instagram. Yeah. Thank you, Jordan. I want to presume someone has Instagram. No, I do. It's small right now, but it's Jahara JJ, two J's at the end. And what ads do you get rocketed at you? Let's see.

I mostly get an ad for my favorite ad that keeps coming. And it probably, cause I keep clicking on it is for this little tiny makeup fridge. Do you guys know? So it's a fridge that's exclusively for skincare and makeup that you can like. Sorry, excuse me. You said, uh, I'm sorry. Jahara, um, forgive me. I'm wearing headphones here.

You said, uh, uh, you said makeup. So I know what that is i missed the rest i presume a makeup and skincare fridge like a mini fridge exclusively made for skincare and makeup what is this what is what are you keeping in there the pfizer vaccine bam well some skincare product is better when it's in a nice cooling and a nice cool environment like masks sometimes a little paper mask if they're in the nice freezer and you pull them out it's very relaxing to put like a nice cool mask with some serum in it on your face. So you could, instead of going all the way to your kitchen,

you could just have a fridge in your bathroom to put your skincare in. It's very, uh, it's very, it's very opulent. Could you also throw some brewskis in there? You know, it's actually way too small for that. Like the only reason they haven't bought it is it's so exceedingly tiny. It could probably fit like not even all of my skincare in it not even like a whole bottle of like cetaphil lotion or something let me ask you guys a question yeah when was the first time you went to somebody's house that had a specialized fridge oh boy i don't it, but you clearly have a potent memory of it. Yeah, it blew my fucking mind. I was like,

this is a little fridge just for Cokes? Yeah, wild, huh? Just Gatorades and Cokes in here? This is amazing! We don't have this in the inner city, I said to myself. So we, this call, okay, so what happens this so i am new to instagram and i'm only getting food i am only getting uh it started out as chicken sandwiches um it is now grown to include a fair amount of chicken sandwiches but also cookies and cakes and and also like some like decadent sandwich shit that is nowhere near where i live

and uh recently i got one for wario's beef and pork in like columbus ohio uh yeah and i guess this guy ended up ended up going um yeah he did not explain what wario sauce is. Which is the main thing we need to know. Yes. Because whatever specifics you, the listener from Columbus, Ohio, can provide will ideally, hopefully, replace the idea of Wario jizz that's been living rent-free in my mind. No one. No one thinks it's jizz, Jesse. No one.

I just want to know what it is. You're the sicko. You're the fucking sick fuck who thinks about... What is Wario sauce, if not Wario's semen? Probably mayonnaise with something in it. I don't know. Mayonnaise and cayenne. What? Wario's semen? No! That's a Wario sauce aioli. It's mayonnaise and Wario semen.

I can't believe you're sitting there thinking about Mario's enemy cranking off. Sick. You're fucking sick. What, you only think about good guys cranking off? Is that your issue? No, I'm old. Listen, Jesse, the only video game characters i'm horny for are the ones from hades from greek mythology there's no such thing as bowser sauce if there was i would

presume it was bowser's jizz god gross sauce is a jizz word i've never heard it like that i've never heard it everyone knows no one i've never heard it used that way. Everyone knows. No one. I've never heard it used that way. 100%. Well, anyway. Hey, you know what? If you're out there and you just want to eat a little gum, who am I to judge? Who am I? Listen, I'm sitting here in my ivory tower judging you. That's not right.

Go ahead. If you want to. Nothing wrong with it. Perfectly fine for you. If you want to eat some some of Mario's enemies come. Yeah. Go for it. It's got a spicy kick.

Who am I? Who am I to judge? It's got a spicy kick. You could use it instead of your jardiniere. It's all just self-care, right? Hashtag self-care. Hashtag self-care. That's what Wario's doing.

I'll tell you. Yeah. He's cranking it. Hashtag wealth care, I guess. People say wealth care? Yeah, because he puts W. Oh, because he's Wario. Right.

Yes. Does he put W at the beginning of stuff or turn the first letter upside down at the beginning of stuff? Oh, boy. I don't. Yeah. Jahar, do you do any Mario games on your channel? I have not.

I have not. My daughter's a big fan, but not enough for me to know what Wario did. He cranks it into sandwiches. I don't know. Everyone knows that. Yeah, that's the whole deal. That's his whole deal. Plus, he's got the mustache, you know, the crazy mustache.

But those are the two things that everyone knows about Wario. He loves treasure, too, I think. Yeah, he loves treasure. He loves to get treasure. Brian, we got another call in there? Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. My name is Taiton, and I'm calling in for your famous segment, Mario Tourism in Ohio. So I just ate at Wario's Beef and Pork in Columbus,

and the cheesesteak was really good, but I had one problem. I asked the owner why Jordan was getting all of those Instagram ads, and I kid you not, the guy just farted at me and then rode away on his motorcycle. So now I'm about to drive 30 minutes east to the next stop on the tour, the Church of St. Waluigi, which, according to Google Maps, is inside of a great school. Thanks, and keep up the good work.

Man, this is a fucking adventure, this call. This call is full of lies. I don't believe half this shit. I don't think any of this is real. Do you think this whole thing, this elementary school Waluigi church is a penguin in the pants? I think it might be. I suspect my radar is up.

I would love it if two of our listeners had some kind of meat cute at Wario's Beef and Pork. An M-E-A-T cute? We put the meat in meat cute, right? That would be great. You see somebody else there maybe they've maybe they've got the you know uh uh hard as a rock shirt on you both point at each other it's like are you here because of the podcast and then you know you talk over zoom for a couple weeks and both agree to get tested and then you can remove your masks and french tough things are done these days jordan, can I ask you this?

I don't know if this counts as a meat cube. Right. But I'd love to go there and get behind the counter and see Wario cranking it. Again, I don't know if that's what... But, I mean, you know, we don't know what's in Wario sauce. No one has told us, so... I mean, I guess you're just going to assume what you're going to assume, huh?

I mean, I'm saying if someone tells me what it is, that will replace this thought in my head. one has told us so i guess you're just going to assume what you're going to assume huh i mean i'm saying if someone tells me what it is that will replace this thought in my head but in the in the meantime i mean it's obviously it's the wario fluid that makes the most sense it's you know what i mean like it's not like the wario sauce i'm gonna assume it's earwax or something yeah and you know you're right that'd be that would that would be crazy fucking and you know, you read that beat. That would be crazy. It would be fucking bananas. It would be fucking insane. You know, Jordan, I'm still just getting advertisements for fancy clothes stuff on my Instagram. Nothing exciting happening there. But I've recently started using a browser on my phone that I have not installed an ad blocker onto. And so I'm seeing the ads on the New York Times. You know, I read the New York Times because I'm an urban sophisticate.

But the only advertisement I get is for the world's ultimate ear cleaning Q-tip. I don't think I've heard of this. I have not got this ad. What sets it apart from your typical Q-tip? It appears to be reusable and possibly made out of this. I have not got this ad. What sets it apart from your typical Q-tip? It appears to be reusable and possibly made out of rubber. What? Gross. It has like little bumps, little bumpies on it. And then the ad says something like, you've never felt this clean.

Getting grosser. Yeah. Oh, it's terrifying. getting grosser yeah oh it's terrifying and it'll be right there in between you know mitch mcconnell and you know it's like this this brooklyn artist explores the legacy of slavery through sculpture and then underneath it will be like you know uh governor governor cuomo picks fight with state legislature and then in between is this gargantuan ear cleaning rubber stick i bet the bumps feel good in the ear when you said that when you said that i was like oh maybe uh i don't know maybe this is the thing i i never knew that i needed yeah pumps in a bump sure a couple of bumps i can use a couple bumps in the air if you

know what i mean you're doing you're doing ear cocaine right yeah yes ear coke ah can't wait to fucking can't wait till this is all over and i can fucking party at the rainbow room go in the bathroom do some do some ear coke that's what those you know those uh ear horns uh that you see like a guy in 1910 using as a hearing aid those are just cocaine funnels oh wow they put it right in the ear huh no yeah they just dump it down in there amazing, my ears are so fucking high right now. So full of ideas. So Mr. Magoo has just fucking ganked out of his mind that whole time? Yeah, why do you think he kept walking off fucking cliffs? High off ear blow.

Oh my God. This guy. This guy's pumping dust into his ears. You can also use it for pcp by the way fyi fyi fyi pcp fyi re pcp every email subject line i get we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse go. Does our podcast deep dive into the weirdest Wikipedia pages we can find? Yes. Do we learn about scam artists, remote islands, horrible mascots,

beautiful diseases and mythical monsters? Yes, yes, yes, absolutely, and yes. Do we retain any of this knowledge? Probably not. I'm Emily Heller. I'm Lisa Hanna-Walt. We make art and comedy and TV shows and also the podcast Baby Geniuses. For the past eight years, we've been trying to learn new things about the world and each other every episode.

But let's be honest, this podcast is mostly about two friends hanging out, shooting the breeze, and making each other laugh. We'll see you next time. Hi. Are you someone who thinks that when one door closes, another one opens? Someone who always sees the light at the end of the tunnel. If you answered yes to one or both of these questions, good for you. We are not those people. Nope. I'm Annabelle Gurwitch, and I'm a, you know that other door opening, it probably leads to a broom closet kind of person. And I'm Laura House. When I see a light at the end of a tunnel,

I assume it's a train headed right toward me. Laura and I have created a brand new podcast for people like us. It's called Tiny Victories. We're sharing personal tiny victories or things we've read or seen that inspire resilience. So if you're looking for a tiny reason to get out of bed each week, subscribe to Tiny Victories. Available on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's get tiny. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, the Croc King.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Jahara, an okay streamer. Nah, she's hella good. Well, we know she's hella good at TikTok. Very good at TikTok. I just lip synced Jordan Jesse Go that one time. Will you try and do a TikTok of your own episode? Is that too meta?

Wow, that's like some serious inception right there. Yeah. I should definitely try it. You know what I recommend? What? Jahara, i don't know if you do this but get the audio from jordan jesse go and then get uh four different guys with beards to harmonize with it oh yeah did you participate in sea chanty tiktok excuse me shanty

tiktok i did hear about that but i didn't see anything on sea shanty TikTok, which is unfortunate to say the least. Man, you know, it's too bad because we all live in these bubbles now. I don't know if you've heard about this, Jordan, but it's like you're just in your little social media bubble and you don't hear about other people's lived experience such as sea shanty TikTok. I don't hear about other people's lived experience, such as sea chanty TikTok.

I don't. Beso profundo Americans aren't heard by other Americans who are outside their beso profundo bubbles. That's really interesting. So true. We all need to listen. We all just need to open ourselves up to new experiences, I think. Can I clarify something, Jordan? experiences, I think. Can I clarify something, Jordan? A lot of people are going to think that because I'm the croc king, it means that I'm like a Batman villain, you know, like King Shark. No,

I just love using my slow cooker. Right. Oh, yeah. What are you slow cooking this week? Short ribs, baby. Nice. It's a great cut. One of the greatest cuts, I would say. Short rib. Better than super cuts? I mean, it's not better than that one super cut that Dave Shumka made of David Letterman asking drummers about their drums. I was thinking of the haircut place. Oh, no. Crazy Sam's. Crazy Sam's. oh no crazy sam's crazy sam's uh fucking guy's crazy he's going around giving people haircuts

for not enough money uh jahara you have a twitch stream you have a tiktok where what where how can people find them uh yes so my handle on twitch is jahara j and on tiktok it's jihara jj i also happen to do a small new podcast of my own where i interview other female content creators in the gaming space oh cool and that just allowed them to talk about how they got into the gaming or cosplay space and just tips that they can give what it's like things like that and you find, that's called Crush at Queens. And you can find that on Apple Podcasts and Spotify as well. It's a good podcast name. Yeah, it's a solid name.

Jordan? Yes. How come our show isn't about something? Listen, because of when we started it. They weren't about anything. If they were about anything anything it was about mac shortcuts yeah different it was either this or mac shortcuts i don't think it happens when you hold down the apple key yeah you take a screenshot oh interesting listen we're products of we're

products of our time this is hopefully this is charmingly retro at this point it's kitschy ah they don't have a theme. Cute. Jordan, I just got myself a new keyboard, and I've been thinking this whole time, when was the last time you really pressed F12? That's so, yeah. Think about it. Think about it.

F12. Shift F7. Sure. Word perfect. Fun. God, yeah. Fun to push. Very fun. Jahari, it's been a delight to have you on the

program thank you it's been a delight to be here i think our listeners are going to be flocking to your twitch streams uh to to let you know how to solve the puzzle before you've really had a chance to honestly i would love it if the whole time i was playing uh breath of the wild there was there was just one person there so that after three minutes of me trying and then just me being like fuck it i don't want to know uh they could just tell me there should be a signal there should be a signal that the twitch streamer can give the audience like okay now it is time to splain. I am inviting the splaining. I am opening the door for any splaining. How do I increase the rarity

of my boons? Oh, I heard this garbage everyday boon. Yeah, gotta get a legendary boon. That's what you're after. What about an ancient boon? I don't think that's a kind of boon in Hades, but I mean, it sounds like get a legendary boon. That's what you're after. What about an ancient boon? I don't think that's a kind of boon in Hades, but I mean, it sounds like a pretty good boon, you know.

What about diamond boon? Yeah, it's my favorite folk hero. If I was playing Hades, you know, I think my main thing would be like, fuck a mortal, turn into a cow. Cool, cool, man. Yeah, that's one way to do it. That'd be like my whole thing, you know. Fuck a mortal, turn into a cow. Cool. Cool, man. Yeah. That's one way to do it. That'd be like my whole thing.

Yeah. Fuck a mortal, turn into a cow. That sounds good. It never really gets there in Hades. It's just kind of like, you know, they're like a little nicer to you. So it's just the first part? Yeah. People turn it into cows.

So horny. Well, Jahari James a joy to have you on the program Jordan Jesse Go produced by Brian Sonny D.

Fernandez you can find us online at MaximumFun.org on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris at Jesse Thorne

with the hashtag JJ Go you can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.redditcom uh where we are always trading our hottest stonk tips uh jordan can we do that you know the thing they did on reddit can we do it but for hog futures yeah i mean i don't see why not we're pretty big on reddit right we're fucking huge on reddit i think we could do this with hog futures yeah the future of hogs has

never been brighter jordan you know what instead of instead of disrupting the stock market can we just uh concentrate on making really dank star wars prequel memes? Absolutely. Absolutely. Watch out, Star Wars Samuel L. Jackson. I can't remember the names of any of the characters. Mace Windu. God damn it.

You don't know Mace Windu? Jesse, the most popular character in all of pop culture, Mace Windu? Can you keep MC's heads wrapped like Erykah Badu? I remember that. That rhymes culture mace windu can you keep mc's heads wrapped like erica badu i remember that that rhymes that rhymed with mace windu on a song from soundbombing or something anyway uh blah blah blah hashtag jj go uh on facebook at facebook.com slash jordan jesse go uh and in the maximum fun facebook group 206-9844-FUN,

jjgoe at MaximumFun.org. If you've got corrections for this week's program, please believe that we are as invested in the quality of our show as you are. So let at J.D. Power on Twitter know J.D. Power and Associates are friends there. And I think that's everything. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.