Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 677: Bucket Q. Paintbucket with Jenny Jaffe

Episode Date: March 4, 2021

Jenny Jaffe (Rugrats reboot!,  Monster High reboot!) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of how Jordan is still haunted by a poster he saw in The Little Things, the hardbound "first edition" of The Illiad the student gives Jennifer Lopez in The Boy Next Door, and the true makeup of Wario sauce. Plus, Jordan quizzes the hell out of Jenny and Jesse. 

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. How you doing, buddy? Just, you know, thinking about a poster I saw in a movie. Wait, a poster you saw for a movie or you were watching a movie in in a movie in the as part of set dressing in a movie so was a is that what they call a diegetic poster right yes a poster

that is coming from the scene in the movie yes yeah um just thinking about it i saw the poster maybe i want to say Wednesday or Thursday. We're recording this on a Sunday. So I just basically been nonstop thinking about the poster. I mean, Jordan, you've always been nutty for mise en scene, the elements of the scene. I love it. I love it. Nobody I know has ever appreciated the things on screen that are not the focus of the scene than Mr. Jordan Morris.

Yeah, love that. Of course, love MacGuffins and the Wilhelm Scream. Sure. Other film school things. Yeah, absolutely. Battleship Potemkin. Battleship Potemkin, for instance. Just one example of something from film school.

Right. Yeah. just one example of something from film school right um yeah so i watched uh i don't know if you've seen this movie the little things no i have not seen this movie what is this movie this is a this is one of those was going to be in theaters but got got put on hbo max movies this is a this is a very very okay serial killer movie that is elevated to tons of fun because Denzel Washington is the lead of it. Yeah. I mean, that's all movies, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. It is. Yeah. It's like you got those great Denzel Washington movies and then like movies he's in that are a blast to watch because he's the last movie star. Yeah. You get some inside mans where you're like, wow, this is a home run all around, top to bottom, soup to nuts. Yes, some mans on fire, some equalizers.

So yeah, this is one of those. This is a very like, very like by the numbers serial killer movie. At one point, the serial killer actually says to the cop, we're not so different, you and me. At one point, the serial killer actually says to the cop, we're not so different, you and me. Fucking verbatim says that. Just says that. Wait, is Denzel the cop or the killer? He is. He's the cop.

He's one of two cops. It is him and Rami Malek, who's also quite good, on the trail of Jared Leto, who is Jared Leto-ing as hard as he possibly fucking can. He is like, he might as well still be in the Joker makeup from Suicide Squad. He is Jared Letoing so hard. He's usually such a subtle performer. Yeah. He's going for it this time. He said,

you know, whoever the director is, is like, Jerry, have a little fun with this one. Have some, have some fun out there. J-A-R-R-Y. Yeah.

That's, yeah. That's what you call jared leto when you work with him yeah jerry but with an a yeah um and so yeah so this is a like very okay movie you know some great acting some jared leto acting but it is okay so they are so denzel is this cop who he was. He was an L.A. cop, and then something happened, and he moved to a small town. Bakersfield, I believe. Frequent Jordan Jesse Goh referenced Bakersfield. Now, Jordan, when you say Denzel plays a cop or a former cop, is he specifically a former handsome cop?

Oh, you know, they really schlub him up in this. They really schlub him up. I mean, he, you know, the handsomeness, you know, you cannot tamp down that handsomeness at all. Why would you, why on earth would you bother to put Denzel Washington on celluloid and not let him be the prettiest motherfucker there is. I mean, you know, obviously it still comes out. It's still, you know, obviously it's, it's, it's, you know, it's like trying to corral a hurricane. It still comes out, but they just put them in a lot of like giant tan blazers. Yeah. And he's like a little, he's like a little like he's, you know, he's not,

he's not super fit, you know, he's a little doughy. But, you know, so, so, you know. Wow, really coming at Denzel, huh? I'm just, I'm just saying this is not him. He's not, he's not, he's not hunking in this. He's not meant to be hunking. I mean, he's naturally hunking, but it is not the goal of the movie. He's supposed to be just like a working man, working class, you know, maybe even like a little forgettable. It's even kind of part of it.

It's just like, you know, he comes back to L.A. and people are like, who's this bumpkin, you know? You know what I would say? Unforgettable, that's what Denzel is. Right, yes. A real devil in a blue dress he is i don't think he wears a blue dress in the movie um so he there's a there's a scene where he he has rami malik meet him at a bar and they sit down and you could tell like cool clientele in this place like kind of cool dangerous yeah types like there's like throbbing industrial

music a lot of white people with dreadlocks and all black clothes you know what it is that is kind of the vibe that is absolutely like what they're going for like that is this movie inside a warehouse that is this movie's version of the cool you know it is like a balcony it is like... There's a balcony. It's like this movie's version of cool stopped with Matrix 2. Cornel West is there. Yeah, sure. So they're in this... And, you know, the Rymel character is looking around. He's like, oh, pretty cool choice. Denzel's like, well, they, you know, the neighborhood's changed a lot since I was here last.

I guess, you know, when he was there, this was kind of like a local dive. And now it's like a fucking cool, cool place for cools. Yeah. And while they're talking, you can see behind them, just like they've, you know, they've made sure to like put all the like cool bar trappings up in this place, and behind them while they're talking, there's a poster that just says, Rock Music Festival, and no information. Rock Music Festival. You know, I saw them open once for Lifter Puller.

No, no bands, no date, no time, Saw them open once for lifter puller. No, no bands, no date, no time. Just like the idea of like, there will be a rock music festival. Will it be, will it be pub rock? Will it be hardcore? Will it be progressive rock? Who knows? It's a rock music festival and you're going to here because you love rock music rock music festival god i fucking can't wait for the vaccines to get out and we can go to rock music festival again jesse brian we're all guests we're all after this is over we're i'm

paying i'm pying the passes and we're all going to rock music festival and we're all going to Rock Music Festival. And we're going to rock out in a very non-specific way. I don't know. Will it be hair bands? Will it be Psycho Billy? I don't know. It's a rock music festival and we're all fucking going. We're going to have a great time. Should we introduce our guest on the program?

Yes. By the way, I'm going to Reggae Music Festival. Sounds pretty iray. It's got a real chill vibe. I like that about it. Our guest on the program, of course, a friend of Jordan Jessico,

comedy writer and performer. Look, the honest truth is this. She's got some new credits coming down the pike, but we don't know whether they'll be announced right before or right after this episode comes out.

So we're just gonna say jenny jaffe writer for nicki and sarah live on mtv in 2013 a funny show of an under appreciated show very funny show nicki and sarah live very sophisticated jokes for a pop culture obsessed teen and young adult audience. Thank you so much. That was my first TV credit. I was 22 when I wrote on Nikki and Sarah Live. So I'm turning 31 next week. So that should tell you how recent that credit is.

But man, what a throwback. And thank you for the kind words. It was underappreciated in its time. Yeah, very funny show. Sarah Schaefer, another friend of Jordan Jesse, co-host of that program. Incredibly funny, awesome person. Jenny Jaffe, have you ever been to a

music festival? I think, yes. Wait, yes, 100% I have. But like it wasn't i've never gone and like camped out there or something that's um i'm not a huge concert person uh which you can tell by the fact that i call them concerts and not shows um that was a big thing for me growing up. There was a huge divide. It's like, do you call them concerts or do you call them shows? Like if somebody says show, it's an improv show that I feel obligated to go to for some reason. That is your show in your world. That is what a show is in my world. That's what a show is. But, uh, I've been to a couple of festivals. Like for the day, I went to Bumbershoot in Seattle.

That was super fun. Is Bumbershoot what I'm thinking of? I think so. Yeah, you're thinking of Bumbershoot. What's great about Bumbershoot is it takes place in the world's fairgrounds around the Space Needle. Oh, yeah. And the Space Needle, let's be frank, is fantastic. Everyone around the Space Needle. Oh. And the Space Needle, let's be frank, is fantastic. Everyone loves the Space Needle.

The Space Needle and the monorail. It was super fun. When I was there, I was with my, at the time, boyfriend, and he was a fan of Comedy Bang Bang, and I had never listened to it. And we went to a live recording and you can imagine how absolutely rely on uh obtuse inside jokes do they it felt like i had just like arrived at a cult meeting on mars i was so baffled um and but i saw i mean i saw saw cool stuff. I saw Charles Bradley there. Oh, great. Was so incredible. And then there was like a random like festival that like a radio station used to put on in San Francisco. And I'm trying to remember the name of it. But I remember going like my last week of high school with some friends. Again, only for the day. I want to hear that lineup. What was your senior year of high school music festival lineup? I don't remember. I remember seeing the Silver Sun pickups there.

Okay. Jenny, are we talking about a Live 105 festival or an Alice FM festival? Yeah. Oh, I think it was Live 105. Yeah, that's the rock of the 90s jordan i used to listen to alice fm in the mornings i worked on the alice fm morning show for three weeks really yeah oh my god shout out to sarah and no name yeah sarah no name mornings was like the show i listened to in the morning. Was it a nightmare? I was, well, I mean, honestly, the nightmare part about it was not working on the show. The producer of the show was very nice.

The movie reviewer slash sort of third chair, Hooman. Yeah. Hooman was a very nice dude. Sarah and No Name, I was not allowed to make eye contact with are you serious yes whoa it was very strange i mean it was because you know they're trying to focus on the show i'm sure past interns had like been bothering them uh they didn't seem like bad people there is there is no level of fame at which it's acceptable to not make eye contact with people, but they are for sure not at that bar. I don't know.

No name doesn't even have a name. That's how famous he is. That's what I'm saying. It's like I'm like, oh, wow, those guys. But it's because I lived in a specific place at a really specific time. Like that's just – to me, that's unacceptable behavior. Well, you know, that's how they rolled. The real reason that I quit the show was not because they were rude to me.

And like I said, they genuinely seemed like nice folks. I don't mean to run them down. They were just focused on their work. But the real reason is getting up at 3 o'clock in the morning is horrible. Well, they were probably grumpy. That's probably why they were such dicks. If they were just like, we're, we're really sleepy. I mean, the crazy thing about working in commercial radio,

and this is true to some extent of public radio too, but like the crazy part about it. And the reason I never really pursued a career in it is that if you become successful that means you have to get up at three o'clock in the morning for the rest of your life like that is what success is what a nightmare or you just stay up so late that you just go to bed really really late yeah that's what sarah was up? No, I don't think so. I think they both probably just went to bed at seven. Here's an interesting thing about the Sarah and No Name show. I think that's the show where I met our past guest, Kevin Avery.

Kevin Avery and our friend W. Kamau Bell, also a past guest, used to do movie reviews on, I think they did them both on Alice and on Live 105 there in the Bay Area when they were both Bay Area comics. Oh, wow. I don't know that I remember those reviews, but I'm sure I've heard them because I was listening to a lot of both those stations. Yeah. Very cool stuff, Jordan. Very cool stuff. Pretty soon we're going to start talking about Rennell Brooks Moon.

Sounds cool. And the early days of KMEL. KMEL, the people's station, Jordan. That's just going to be easy, unfortunately. I don't know what that is. Yeah. Jenny's five years too young. Jordan, who is the top radio personality in, I guess it was just Kevin and Bean, right?

Yeah, Kevin and Bean. personality in uh it i guess it was just kevin and bean right yeah kevin and bean uh they were the they were the kroq morning guys and like um yeah i definitely was like was like a big kevin and kevin and bino growing up that's what we called ourselves um yeah no and they were they when you think of like when you think of morning shock jocks, they were so mild. They definitely had asshole bits. They definitely had prank calls and people doing homophobic Backstreet Boys parody songs. I almost asked when this was and you just completely pinpointed that. Yeah, you can maybe zero in on a year based on that.

Yeah. Yeah, I think one of them recently-ish got fired and then joined KLOS, the classic rock station. Oh. Where the only song basically they play is Magic Carpet Ride by Steve Miller Band. Well, that's the only song. That is, yeah, that's the only song. It is a Magic Carpet Ride-based radio station. That's the format. I used to get my hair cut at the barbershop on my way home from dropping my kid off at preschool. So it would be real early in the morning like uh 8 30 in the morning and um they would always be listening to k-rock and and the kevin and bean show ended maybe uh a year ago year two

years ago and uh that firing happened maybe a year before that uh so they would have kevin and bean on the radio and like by the end their format was like so smooth and tight that it was almost like an abstract collage of people laughing and yelling stuff. Where I would be listening to it and would be unable to follow what they were like, truly unable to follow because it would just sound like, hey, what's going on? Oh, here's going on? Ha ha! Oh! Ah! Here's the offspring! That's, you've described how I feel after having seen the first Harry Potter movie

and then the last Harry Potter movie with no Harry Potter movies in between. I'm just like, well, this is an art film. You feel this. You don't understand it. You feel it. The only Harry Potter thing I've ever done was watch one middle harry potter movie and had a great part uh where he was swimming underwater uh with all these magic mermen and stuff that was great but you watched the fourth

harry potter movie okay there you go thank you jenny that's our exact by the way generational difference like there is a really slight between myself and anybody who's like five years older than me. The only noticeable generational difference is how much I love Harry Potter and how much they did not give a shit about it. My, my fiance is five years older than me. And that's the only like real difference in like our pop culture consumption growing up is just that like i was the exact right age for it and he just never hit it well to be fair he also loves ranelle brooks moon on uh kml the people station and you missed out on that yeah it's really too bad. No, but I hear the author of Rennell, Brooks Moon, is also super transphobic now.

So you guys are having the same conflict. Yes. Jenny, I was remembering your last performance on the show. Performance appearance. It's not a performance. It's an appearance. Well, she did a little song and dance number at the end. I did.

You guys didn't even play it. And I was like, I put so much effort in. It came across. It came across. We love that Jaffe soft shoe. The old Jaffe soft shoe. The second you strew that sand on the ground, we knew we were in for it. We knew we were in for a great time.

Shuffling off to Buffalo. I'm shuffling off to Buffalo. I think there was a real hot energy in the room because I think we had both seen the crazy Matthew McConaughey Sex Island movie Serenity, and you very sweetly got me the poster for Serenity, which I still have. Oh, nice. Yeah. But we'd both seen Serenity, which to this day, my favorite film going experience. Admittedly, I had fewer film going experiences since I saw Serenity than I anticipated. But man, what a bonkers ride and i sure hope everybody has seen it now because obviously it's classic now yeah absolutely all anyone talks about the the twist in that movie is so crazy because it's most of the movie is matthew mcconaughey kind of like fucking his way across this island he He's like an island boat man and he,

and he is on an island and he just, you know, he just, just, just rails his way through everybody who lives on this island. And then you learn later, spoilers, spoilers for this movie.

You learn that this whole thing has been a simulation that his son is programming his son is programming a video game where his dad fishes and fucks and that's what you've been watching is us what a son who i think did he is the mcconaughey character dead yeah and like his mom is in the game so he's also like programmed like his dad to like fuck his mom a bunch. Right. And also like random women who come to rent boats from him. Well, because he's, he is sleeping with Diane Lane also, which like, love with this 15 year old boy just has this, he's like, yeah, then Diane Lane is there.

Have you seen anything like nuts in that way i've heard of a couple movies that i've i've heard people talk about is kind of like the next serenity but i was i was wondering if you have seen anything lately that's even in that zone it's so hard to top serenity because going in i knew so little and it just was able to really um let it wash over you yeah let it wash over me I'm sure there's other stuff I've watched since that has been as terrible or as baffling insurrection in the capitol building yeah that was pretty wild I'd say like I think my threshold for things happening and being like this was crazy is just way different. Like I take everything with a grain of salt now because about this time last year, the world as I knew it was turned upside down and everything came to a screeching halt. So I just have a different idea of what to expect from anything going into it.

But seriously, though, have you seen Cats? Oh, my God. Have I seen Cats? have a different uh idea of what to expect from anything going into it but seriously though have you seen cats oh my god wait have i seen cats so cats and uh cats and serenity are the two episodes of the flop house i insisted on doing oh you can just insist your way onto the flop house yeah you have to sell a show with elliot but you can do it. But that was the last movie I saw in theaters was I went with, I went with Elliot and a bunch of our friends to go see cats and it was a absolute blast. It's a, it's an insane movie. It's so much fun. You know what else I, I, I watched,

and it was also for the flop house but the boy next door starring jennifer lopez was probably the last like truly bonkers insane movie i watched oh yeah remember when jennifer lopez was the world's biggest movie star like she was getting paid like 25 million dollars a movie or something yes yeah oh yeah was this one of those or is this in her like is this in her like is this in her kind of like i don't want to say dissent because she's still like ultra famous but maybe not like she's not like famous for being a movie star although i don't know this was her comeback to movie stardom it was or at least it was supposed to be the boy next door yeah it's a

really atrocious film like it's it's really bad and it's not just that it's a bad movie it's that it's morally reprehensible as well oh good so we were doing the stage greeting of it and there was a scene and we got to the scene and decided in the moment that we were not going to be reading it out loud we were just like looked at it we're like absolutely not and like, listen, if you guys want to go watch the movie or read the original screenplay, you can do that. But like, this is unacceptable. The detail I have heard from that movie, um, that I, that I will carry with me always, I have not seen it, but I, um, but I like this detail every time someone tells it to me is that, you know, it's a like sexy teacher movie. Like Jennifer Lopez is like a sexy teacher and she, you know, seduces a student.

And to like get into, you know, to like romance her, the student brings her a copy of the Iliad. And he's like, yeah, it's a first edition. It's so funny. It's just like you could have picked any other book, but they had to go through so many people. They had to go through so many people to get to this point. It's like maybe it was, you know, for even a first edition of like a specific translation that she loves or

something like I would have bought, but like, that's a fate. That's famously like a, an epic poem that was like an oral tradition in Greek. I say that so confidently. It might have been Latin. I think it's Greek. But yeah, he gives it to her. It's a hard bound book.

There's no way that the first written version of the Iliad was in a hard bound book. And if there was, it should be in the fucking Smithsonian. Fuck. And if there was, it should be in the fucking Smithsonian. Is that where you would put it? Maybe the American History Museum or Air and Space? Oh, I would put it in Air and Space. The kid just asked real nicely at the Smithsonian.

He's like, hey, can I take this out? I'm trying to fuck my teacher. Why is this weird teacher and this kid who's just really thrown under the bus as the villain of the movie, why is he in possession of this? Where did he get it? I mean, you got to figure like a half-priced books, right? Yeah, it was like on the dollar rack at the Strand or whatever. You have a table outside B. Dalton. Isn't Smithsonian just natural history and an air and space? I thought there was like a...

No, there's the Corcoran. That's one of them. There's the National Portrait Gallery. There's the Museum of African American History and Culture. That's a nice one. That's the last one I went to. So there isn't conceivably a place it could have been in. The Natural History Museum. Tell you what, it goes to the Greek Library of

Congress, whatever their version of it is. I think it was Congress. I mean, they invented democracy. Oh my God, you guys. We're not in the same room, so you can't see how quickly i'm googling everything well hey actually jenny i'm gonna need you to put away your googler um because as long as we're talking movies guys are you ready for a movie quiz i'm always ready for a movie quiz brian hit that theme music brian will drop the music in later. We're not hearing it now. So this is a quiz and I think it's going to become a recurring

segment on the show. I think it's going to become very popular and I think it's going to be maybe this is our top ten list. Okay. I would love to have a top ten list. What's the thing where jay leno makes people look bad just like normal people uh the tonight show with jay leno um i love that you guys are finding your signature bit after how 14 years 14 15 years yeah around

there that's that's been the thing preventing this podcast from taking off. No signature bit. And now that we have it, look out, Rogan. Well, Jordan, we had one signature bit. Jesse talks over people. Always a fan favorite. Is this the first movie quiz, or has this been... Is this the pilot?

Well, this is a specific... This is a specific... It is about a movie. The is this the pilot well this is a specific this is a this is a specific it is about a movie the movie was the inspiration for this quiz and uh no i'll i'll tell you what it is i have enough him in and on uh hold on one second jenny yes this is the first movie quiz yeah it's the first time anyone's ever asked other people questions about movies they did do uh they did do a seen it DVD game, but it was about Saturday Night Live. I think I have that.

Are you ready for the first ever installment of What's the Name of the Character John Lithgow Plays in the 2019 Remake of Pet Cemetery? Brian, put it in the game. So I don't know., so no guesses yet. It's a multiple choice.

No guesses yet. But just, I wanted to just kind of see where we are. Have either of you seen the 2019 remake of Pet Sematary? I have not. Jesse? No, I missed that one. I've missed all of the remakes of Pet Sematary. Oh, well, the 2019 one is particularly good.

I also haven't seen the original Pet Sematary. Well, you might be at a disadvantage. Jenny, have you seen the original Pet Sematary or read the book? I have not. Okay. I've seen the Errol Morris documentary, Gates of Heaven. It's about a pet cemetery. So basically the same deal?

That might help. Oh, I've also seen that. It's a great movie. Well, there you go. Okay, so you're both on equal footing here. I like this. No one has a clear advantage. Yeah, I'm going to be guessing names from the movie Vernon, Florida by Errol Moore.

Well, that's a great movie. Did John Lithgow play that guy who keeps calling turtles gobblers? I don't know. I'm sure they've tried to fictionalize that at some point, haven't they? I love John Lithgow as the thin blue line in The Thin Blue Line. Yeah.

Man, John Lithgow. I think when he dies, his tombstone's going to say, John Lithgow, fast, cheap, and out of control. These are Errol Morris movies, folks. There's a great Robert McNamara. I just wanted to get one more in. Yeah.

So John Lithgow in the movie, 2019 movie, the 2019 remake of Pet Sematary, plays a very classic, like, Stephen King old man. He plays like a crotchety Stephen King old man and has a really terrific name. And I'm going to read you some names and you're going to have to guess which is the name of the character John Lithgow played in the 2019 remake of Pet Sematary. Jenny, you're the guest.

Do you want to go first or second? I'll go second. Wait, but then I risk that maybe Jesse guesses it. It's true. I'll go first. Okay, but then I risk that maybe Jesse guesses it. It's true. I'll go first. Okay, Jenny, you're going first. It's multiple choice. Don't guess until you've heard all the options.

Clem Hickory. Abraham Fencepost. Edison Bulbson. Francis Chickory. Judson Crandall. Harold Bo Crumsley. Pinual Gatewood. Bart Beardsley.

Did you just say Kim Yu Jesse it's not your turn Okay Bart Bart Beardsley Dallas Maverick Reginald Gunt

Langston Train Track Bucket Q Paint Bucket. Tobias Weasley. Farnsworth Gobble. Orville Bowtie. Walter Sparky Cunnilingus.

Timothy Chalamet. Marshall Maple Montague. Butt Person. Old Man Sleep. Creek River Mouth. Ghost Penis. Gore Melvin. mouth ghost penis gore melvin carl's jr winston gnocchi

horse weathervane carson funnel cake Weathervane. Carson Funnel Cake. Mincy Senator. Jams. Chilies. Rom the Vacuous Spider. Blue Raspberry.

Cortland Corn Cop. Do you want to hear the options again? No. Yeah. My chest hurts. Do you want to hear the options again? No. Yeah. My chest hurts. Do you want to hear the options again? Yeah, I'd like to hear the options. Oh, God.

Clem Hickory. Abraham Fencepost. Edison Bulbson. Francis Chickory. Judson Crandall. Harold Bo Crumsley. Pinnual Gatewood. Bart Beardsley.

Dallas Maverick. Reginald Gunt. Langston Train Track. Bucket Cube Paint Bucket. Tobias Weasley. Farnsworth Gobble. Orville Bowtie. Walter Sparky Cunnilingus. Timothy Chalamet. Marshall Maple Montague. Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg So there's only one that sounded like a name to me in there.

Talk it out. Talk it out. This is like who wants to be a millionaire. A bunch of them sort of bled into one long list to the point where I was like, maybe it's just one first name and then a million nicknames and then the last name. But so Bart Beardsley or Francis Hickory are the two that sounded like real names to me. There's a strong chance that it's none of those and maybe he plays a

character named like Ron Lithgow or something good guess but it's not a it's not a trick question it's in there okay I'll give you that Bart Beardsley cuz that sounds vaguely real so So I'm going to guess that. Final answer? Yeah, that's my final answer. Jenny Jaffe. Yeah. You have not won.

What's the name of the character John Lithgow plays in the 2019 remake of Pet Sematary? When I wanted to go first, it was because I heard multiple choice and thought, oh, it'll be five, maybe a cheeky little none of the above. But this list is extensive. and that's on me. Yeah, it was a long list. Jesse, it's your turn. Your options for what's the name of the character John Lithgow plays in the 2019 remake of Pet Sematary? No, it's the same ones.

Clem Hickory. Yeah, sure. Abraham Fencepost. Right, got itpost Edison Bulbson Francis Chickory Judson Crandall Harold Bo Crumsley Penuel Gatewood

Bart Beardsley Dallas Maverick Reginald Gunt B.O. Pinual Gatewood. Bart Beardsley. Dallas Maverick. Reginald Gunt. Langston Train Track. Bucket Q Paint Bucket. Tobias Weasley. Farnsworth Gobble.

Orville Bowtie. Walter Sparky Cunnilingus. Timothy Chalamet. Marshall Maple Montague. Butt Burson. Old Mansley, Creek Rivermouth, Ghost Penis, Gore Melvin, Carl's Jr., Winston Gnocchi, Horse Weathervane, Carson Funnelcake,

Mincy Senator, Jams Jellies, Ron the Vacuous Spider, Blue Raspberry, Cortland Corncob. Boy. Do you want to hear the answers again? This is a tough one. Did I hear Mountain Dew Code Red? You did not, no.

It's an oversight on my part. It should be in there. Yeah. Okay. Then I'm not going to guess that. What was that first one? Hickory? Clem Hickory. I'm going to go with

Clem Hickory. Final answer? That's my final answer, Jordan. Jesse, you have not won What's the Name of the Character? John Lithgow plays in 2019 remake of Pet Sematary. Thank you, Jenny Jaffe and Jesse Thorne for playing. We'll see you next week on What's the Name of the Character?

John Lathcow plays in the 2019 remake of Pet Sematary. Brian, hit the music again. Thanks for playing, guys. That was a lot of fun. Wow, I love that this is going to be a recurring bit. Yeah, because hopefully no one comes into the game having Googled the information or having seen the movie. Yeah.

That would really fuck us, but. Well, that was a tough game, Jordan. That was a real challenge. Are you guys bummed? What would we have won had we won? 50 more names. Okay. Let's take a break. We'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

You know, Jordan, every episode of Jordan, Jesse Goh is supported by the kind members of MaximumFun.org, all those folks who've opened up their telephones and their computars and gone to MaximumFun.org slash join. We're also supported this week by our friends at Kitty Poo Club. Yeah, Kitty Poo Club. We love them. Listen, Jesse, we're working from home.

You and me, Brian, we're all working from home. Yeah. It means more time for your morning coffee or an occasional afternoon nap. Yeah, we share a home. We should explain, like, the monkeys. Right? Yeah. And, of course, the opportunity for your furry feline friend to walk across the keyboard in the middle of your Zoom call.

I've been there. Oh, man! You love having your cat around, but you don't love being around the litter box. Jesse, I'm looking at a freaking litter box right now. Yeah. But it's a lot better because it's a Kitty Poo Club litter box. It's an all-in-one convenient litter box solution, don't you know? I've been looking for a solution to litter boxes.

Yeah. Here's what happens. Oh, hold on. My cat's actually right here. I'm going to hold her up. Maybe she'll meow into the microphone. Maybe. Are you going to do it?

She's hitting it with her little paw. Can you hear okay anyway she's not gonna meow anyway here's what happens with kitty poo club jesse every month kitty poo club delivers an affordable high quality recyclable litter box that's pre-filled with the litter of your choice when the month is up jordan can i say i'm glad they pre-fill it with litter, because when you said it was pre-filled, I thought to myself, well, then why are they mailing it to me? No, it doesn't come with turds, Jesse. It doesn't come pre-filled with turds.

Jeez Louise, the cat makes those out of their butt. Okay. Sure. Here's what you do. They're going to mail you a turd free box right free of turds it's it's the box it's pre-filled they don't charge you for the turds no the cat makes the turds oh you don't get cat turds aren't part of turds yes the cat venmo's you send you a venmo request every month for the amount of turds that they make. Got it. When the month is

up, you just recycle the box and Kitty Poo Club automatically delivers you a new one. No changing used litter. No more cleaning the box. Jesse, it's a great service. I love it. One less reason to run out to the store, one less reason to lug a heavy jug of something from your car. God, I hate to lug a jug. Yeah, right? Takes away time from chug-a-lugging. You love to chug-a-lug. Yeah, I chug-a-lug like a bug in a rug, buddy. Yeah.

Here's what you do. You give the gift that keeps on giving the whole year a Kitty Poo Club subscription, and you can get one 20% off your first order when you set up auto ship by going to kittypooclub.com and entering promo code JJGO. Kittypooclub.com. Enter promo code JJGO. 20% off when you set up auto ship. Kittypooclub.com. And don't forget your promo code JJGO, 20% off when you set up AutoShip. KittyPooClub.com.

And don't forget your promo code JJGO at checkout. We're also supported by the good folks at Magic Spoon. This is a type of cereal that comes at your house from the mail. Yeah. And it's better than the cereal you're getting from the supermarket because it doesn't have all the bad stuff. It's got the flavors you love, but none

of the junk. Zero sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and only 4 net grams of carbs, and only 140 calories in each serving. Keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Jesse, the folks at Magic Spoon were nice enough to send over a couple of boxes. I love this stuff.

I'm trying to cut junk out of my life. I got the sweet tooth, but Magic Spoon helps a lot with that. Yeah, it's a really... I was really... Look, I'll tell you that right here and now, Jordan, I don't know what a monk fruit is, but if it makes this cereal tasty enough that my children will eat it when they asked for a sugar cereal, I'd color me impressed. And that is exactly what happened at my house. They got a fruity flavors of Fruity O's. They got a peanut butter flavor. That's daddy's favorite.

Ooh, peanut butter's good. I'm a big peanut butter dessert guy and this really scratches the itch. This really prevents me from going for those peanut butter cups. It's tasty. Yeah, there's a nice just regular frosted flavor

and then they got that cocoa flavor. For those of you who start your days by saying, give me the chocolate, nobody gets hurt. Yeah. Any chocoholics are out there. We've got the cereal for you. Cocoa-flavored chocoholics. Also, please get yourself to CA. Right.

Go to some meetings. And the cereal super fun it definitely reminds you of you know the stuff you ate when you were watching saturday morning cartoons as a kid and this is very fun this is not in the copy but i think they should be mentioning this there are games and mazes on the box yeah i love games and mazes, really fun. Can I say, handsome box. Very nice box, looks great in the cupboard. Yeah. And games and mazes on the back. Magicspoon.com slash JJGO, grab a variety pack, try it today, and be sure to use our promo code JJGO at checkout to save five bucks off your order.

They are so confident in this product, it's backed with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. To get your next delicious bowl of guilt-free cereal at magicspoon.com slash JJGO, use the code JJGO to save $5. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring our episode.

Thanks, Magic Spoon. We love you. We love to eat you in our mouth. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Meow.

Alright. Alright. We're done reading the Kitty poo club ad, Jesse. Oh, we're just making the sound a cat makes. Doesn't have anything to do with the ads. Just love making cat sounds. Here, I'm going to hold up the cat again. Maybe she'll meow.

Maybe she'll meow. Meow into the mic. Do it. It'll be so funny. Everybody will love it. They'll love it. They'll love it. No, she's not going to do it.

Okay. God damn it, bug. Get your fucking act together. Start meowing. We've got cereal and cat litter to move. Caw, caw, caw. That's the sound of the mighty crow. Majestic, beautiful, soaring overhead.

Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, Go. It's Jordan, Jesse, Go. I'm Old Mansley. Jordan Morris, Detective. I'm Jenny Jaffe, which was John Lithgow's name in Pet Cemetery. That's it. Ah, yeah. You got it. Hiding in plain sight. Yep.

So, Jenny, we've got this new segment on our program. The honest truth is this. We've been doing this show, as we mentioned, for 12, 13, 14 years. We don truth is this. We've been doing this show, as we mentioned, for 12, 13, 14 years. We don't really remember. And we've never really developed a true signature segment. So rather than think of one ourself, we've just had our listeners call into segments that don't yet exist, and we'll just see how they play. Oh, I love them.

Yeah. Someone's called in one of these calls to one of our famous signature segments. So, Brian, why don't you press play? Hi, this is Nat calling with a kid Fauci. So here's Lou. I'm Dr. Fauci, America's doctor. I say take a little walk to stay healthy. Thanks. Thanks. Wow.

Another great Kid Fauci. Every week we welcome another Kid Fauci onto the show. Kid Fauci is a legitimately good, I know they're already doing a Doogie Howser reboot, but fauci could be like another another take yeah oh like the young dr fauci chronicle like either you play it like young rock but it's young fauci which i love i think that's a great idea it's it's a combination of like the good doctor with also a little bit of everybody hates chris or you play it like it is uh this kid was like the good doctor with also a little bit of everybody hates chris or you play it like it is uh this kid was like the top medical school kid and then something awful happened and all the adult doctors couldn't be the main doctors and now he has to be the doctor of the world

i don't know i kind of like it write that down and mail it to yourself jenny oh shit yeah that's pretty good. Yeah, sorry you gave it away on the podcast. So now Chuck Lorre owns it. Like it's, you know, if Doogie Howser had much higher stakes. Yeah. That was always my problem with Doogie Howser was the low stakes. Yeah.

That was always my problem with Doogie Howser was the low stakes. Yeah. Remember that one where he tried to go to the subway, but they were out of meatballs? So he had to get a turkey? Right. Yeah. Not a lot of drama on that show, come to think of it. I think about it.

Jenny, let me ask you this. You were saying before we started the show that you you are uh you're doing some airbnb living these days i am how's the how's the walking where you are what's your what are your what are your little your little walks like oh i do a lot of little walks i have two dogs so uh little walks are a big a big part of my life um but there's so many absolute fuckos who just don't wear a mask. So walking, it's really stressful. Like there's no good way to go outside except to if you have like a good backyard to sit in. But we haven't been home in such a long time that we've been at a place that doesn't have a super great backyards with you these walks that you have to go really far out of the main the main place

because there's so many people who just for some reason think that if you have a mask on as a necklace or a bracelet like that counts um you're near a mask so dumb um these people that you're talking about these are the fuckos these are the fuckers i'm just i am tired i'm i'm very tired of uh um everybody thinking that they are the exception to the to the rules you're not you're not the main character um i know that because the main character is uh clem buckets or whoever it was a bucket yeah bucket q paint bucket let's be frank the main character is mr denzel washington that's true even if you put him in a tan blazer still pretty hunky um yeah i you know i think there's this thing about like you know you know someone well if i'm on like a walk alone and there's no one near me i don't have to have the message might come

near you and yeah if someone sees you they're gonna fucking freak like it's gonna make them feel like the fucking world is is slowly crumbling which it is but it reminds them that it is. So yeah, I feel like the, the, the like mask outside, it's just like for everyone's mental health around you, just put it fucking on and then we don't have to freak out. If you really want to like, you know, put it down and stay really, really vigilant. And like when you even just make like eye contact from far away with somebody, you put it back up. I guess that's fine.

But to me, it's like just keep it on. Just keep it the fuck on. It's so much easier for everybody. It's not that difficult. We'd all like to feel the fresh air on our faces. That's just not happening right now. It's where the fresh air feels the best is on the face. Yeah.

I get so angry all the time like i'm just i feel like i'm just i angry all the time in a way i i've never been before um just at like the lack of a basic consideration anyone seems to have and i think especially because it's like i've been i've done nothing i've done literally nothing we came up to quarantine with my parents. None of us have so much as been to a store in a year. Like we're very, very tired. So my patience is low. They're overrated.

Stores aren't that good. Yeah, I don't, from what I recall, they're, you know, magical. I don't know, Jordan. Have you seen these new stores that have, like, big white walls and four succulents? That's my favorite kind of store. What are you talking about? It's a type of store. It's just, like, a white box, and then there's four succulents in there. And you're like, how is this a store?

Truly, that's my favorite kind. Those stores are aimed exactly at millennial women and they always work on me. Do you buy the succulents? No, the actual product isn't on display. It's usually like they sell one jacket. Yeah, I saw the jacket on Insta. Well, the thing about the store is there's four succulents and then there's a big sign like a neon sign that says in cursive like this doesn't suck but s is suck is spelled like s u c c and you take a picture under it oh the instagram installation

so you've been to the four succulent store and then once you've done that you're a witch is that correct yeah that's exactly right Then you get to declare yourself a witch because you have some crystals. Oh, man. Got to get crystals. Got to get on those crystals. Jordan, you don't have any crystals? No. What's balancing your energy?

Nothing. My energy is all over the place. It's spilling out. It's falling on the floor. It's splishing and splashing all over the place. You haven't been to the succulent the floor it's splishing splishing and splatching all over the place you haven't been to the succulent store you haven't been to the witch store have you been to the apothecary boy you're gonna fucking freak out no i haven't been to the apothecary oh You gotta go to the

apothecary. You know what? Will that help my diarrhea? Yes. There's really only one answer for your diarrhea, Jordan. You're gonna have to get out of the house. You're gonna have to go to the witch store. You're gonna have to shove an amethyst up your shitter. Oh.

That'll make me regular again? Yeah. It's a high fiber. Small's a high five small price to pay small price to pay for regularity sorry listeners that i said shitter it grossed me out when i said it too you were you were pulling back from it you did not commit so uncomfortable saying the word oh come on they listen to this show they can hear the word shitter. Can I say pooter instead? I don't think it means what either. It means the place you go to do the shitting. Yeah, I guess that's true. That's a good point.

Okay. Canonically, I'm switching it to pooter. Jesse, can you meet us halfway with turd cutter? Okay. Great. Oh, it's so gross oh okay when something momentous happens to you like you find the perfect amethyst for your turd cutter uh give us a call 206-984-4FUN or send us a message at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Here is an example of one such call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I'm calling in from Toronto with a momentous occasion.

Between 2017 and a bit of 2020, I was unable to engage with most media and discouraged from acknowledging that I'm trans or pursuing testosterone. And that is because I was in a cult for that time, which really sucked. But one of the things that kept me going was the way that I would sneak listen to, uh, JJ Go and The Greatest Generation, a few other max fun shows. Um, they, uh, really helped remind me that, uh, you know, there's a world out there that, uh, exists that other people live in that I could claw my way back to. And as someone who used to live in LA, all of you talking about my hometown so lovingly,

so specifically, was really helpful to me. So as of the end of February, I am one year out of being in a fucking cult. I am one year out of being in a fucking cult. And as of now, I am about 10 months on testosterone. Yeah. So. Oh, also, I got dressed today. So, yeah.

Every day. Thanks, everyone. Thanks, Brian. That rules. I'm thrilled for them. I'm as happy for them as I am when I get to the front of the line at Pink's Hot Dogs in Los Angeles. It's the Los Angeles restaurant

that every Angeleno loves, Pink's Hot Dogs, a completely unremarkable hot dog stand. Here's what I'm wondering. If you were segregated from the rest of society, if you were in a private world of some kind, it doesn't have to be a cult. It could be that you live in Antarctica

or you live at the top of a mountain, whatever. And your one lifeline, your one connection to broader culture in the United States, and indeed the world, was sneak listening to Jordan Jesse go, you just stay wherever you were, right? You'd be like, eh, outside world sucks. They really glossed over the cult,

and I'm sure they maybe just don't don't want to give identifying details which absolutely makes sense it's totally fine but that was such a twist in that story yeah boy it was a real it was a real thrill to hear that story um you know for me again you know the the twist the narrative value you know there's a lot of a lot of thrills in there um and you know it's always nice to hear, you know, that the, that the, that the show means something and that, you know, the max people, the max fun shows mean something to people. It's great. I mean,

so listening to that to me was really the opposite of the pits, the La Brea Tar Pits. Thanks, Jordan. Yeah, I got there, right? Man, I mean, you really put a sign on it you know what i mean a hollywood sign yeah more more twists and turns uh go than i call then then going through a laurel canyon happy foot and sad foot while listening to that yeah. Yeah, you really built a beautiful bridge to that one, a Golden Gate Bridge. Jesse, if you keep this up, I'm going to rocket you right to the Space Needle.

Well, good news, Jordan. Then I'll be on my favorite planet, Mars. This is going well. Okay, well, we've gotten out of that what we needed to get out of that. Brian, I understand we have a call about Wario sauce. Jesse, this is Nick calling from Columbus, Ohio, where my wife and I have just split a sandwich from Wario's. And to answer your question, Wario's sauce is a roasted garlic and caramelized onion aioli, and it is delicious. We did not get roasted longhots, though, so we're going to go back. An aioli, Jordan, I don't know if you eat at fancy restaurants, aioli is one of those

words that they use to fancy up regular stuff it just means a flavored semen okay, Jenny for you for your benefit I was talking on the show about how

I was getting this constant Instagram ad for a restaurant called Wario's Beef and Pork in Columbus, Ohio. And I couldn't go there. I was really mad because it looked like it was good. We haven't confirmed who owns the restaurant, whether it's the real Wario or just a pretend Wario. Right. A false Wario. Yeah. Which, it's a Mario?io or just a pretend Wario. Right. A false Wario. Yeah. Which, it's a Mario?

I don't know. Anyway. And, you know, so we were reading the menu on the show because, you know, what else are you going to do on the show? Fucking something else? You're going to read the menu. We haven't left the house in a year. We're going to read the menu.

And on the menu was something called Wario Sauce. It didn't say what it was, but Jesse, being the sick puppy that he is, with his fucking- I am a bit, Janny, just for context, I'm a bit of a sick puppy. He's a sick puppy. He's at home watching Deadpool all day. And Cartman. I don't- Look, this guy doesn't care.

This guy is not your, this is not your uncle's superhero Spidey man. I'm talking about Deadpool. He's looking. All right. He's looking straight down the barrel of the camera and giving you a piece of his mind. All right.

So this. I'm just twisted. Yeah. So yeah, this twisted edge Lord says to me on the show. Don't get your turd cutter in a twist. All right. I have a twisted turd cutter. I'm very sensitive about it.

The doctors say I'll need surgery. Was that John Lithgow's name? Turd cutter. Could be. You'll never know. Like I was saying, this sick fuck over here, I'm pointing to Jesse. Yeah.

Just for context, Jenny, I'm a bit of a sick fuck. He's a sick fuck. Sitting around all day watching Cartman. Yeah. He tells me that he thinks Wario sauce is Wario's cum. I mean. No, Jesse. Yeah, that's what I said.

I'll tell you why. I don't, look. Why? I don't want it. You're such an absolute Stewie from Family Guy. Look, I don't mean to get too stewy on you, okay? But let me just say this, and sorry if it's too Dennis Miller. Sauce is a cum word.

It's not a cum word. Yeah, that's a cum word, baby. It's on like all food. It's a very common word it's not come and now we have confirmation from a listener that it's not come so just put this whole fucking thing to bed find some other perverted jag to go off on to get your jollies jesse i'm thinking about Aeoli right now. I'm going to become the joker just like Jared Leto.

All right. Jenny, what were you saying? I had no idea where that call was going. So the guy called and he goes, my wife and I split. And there was enough of a pause that I went, no! And then he was like, a sandwich. Anything

he said from there, I was fine with. Who's the sick puppy now? I guess. For me, everything is a divorce word. There's two kinds of words, cum words and divorce words. Men are from cum words and women are from divorce words. What's your cum language?

Four distinct cum languages. Well, you got your roasted garlic, your caramelized onions. Uh-huh. Chipotle. Chipotle gum. And then the original. Yes, of course. You can't beat the original, you know?

Yeah. You have to beat to get the original. Yeah. Sorry, listeners, if we're getting a little saucy. Mm-hmm. Okay. That's it 206-984-4FUN JJ Go

At MaximumFun.org We'll be back In just a second On Jordan Jesse Go La La La La

La La La La Hey kid Your dad tell you About the time He broke

Steven Dorf's nose At the Kids' Choice Awards? In Dead Pilots Society, scripts that were developed by studios and networks but were never produced are given the table reads they deserve. When I was a kid, I had to spend my Christmas break filming a PSA about angel dust. So yeah, being a kid sucks sometimes. Presented by Andrew Reich and Ben Blacker. Dead Pilots Society.

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It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris boy detective. Oh my god, Jenny Jaffe. I almost forgot. I had to introduce myself. You do. And you did. Oh, my God. Jenny Jaffe. I almost forgot. I had to introduce myself. You do.

And you did. Yeah, well, I mean, you were probably just dazzled by the talent and wit that's been on display in this week's program. It's a regular Algonquin roundtable around here. It's like the Algonquin roundtable, but it's all like cool guys. Like don't know like jared leto joker specifically yeah everybody's favorite joker it's me jared leto's joker pretty good not bad jesse that's a pretty good leto joker thanks you know why do you sound like bugs bunny trying to be a coquettish woman? Jared Leto's Joker!

That was the inspiration for Jared Leto's Joker, was when Bugs Bunny would dress up like a lady. And to a lesser extent, when Elmer Fudd would wear a Viking helmet. That was Jared Leto's Joker. His villain was not the Batman, but it was the Fudd, the Elmer Fudd. Took it in kind of a different direction. I would love to watch Joker versus Fudd. Whoever wins, we lose. Would that be more like a Looney Tune, more like a superhero movie?

Or, and here's my pitch, more like a sortoney Tune, more like a superhero movie? Or, and here's my pitch, more like a sort of Kramer versus Kramer thing. Yeah, it's a divorce word. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Hey, both Warner Brothers properties, it could happen. It could happen legally. I appreciate that.

I think that would be a lot of fun. Put it on Turner Classic Movies. Yeah. Have Alicia Malone introduce it. Sure. Alicia Malone, great in everything. Great in introducing Bringing Up Baby. Jenny Jaffe, what a joy it's been to have you back on Jordan, Jesse Go.

I hope we've brightened your evening there in Palo Alto, California, beautiful Palo Alto, California. Home of Stanford University and its famous clock tower. The Stanford Cardinal, it's a name for a tree. No, it's a name for a tree. No, it's great. I'm so happy to be back talking with you guys after all these many years. Now, Jenny, it just so happens that when we were off air, you mentioned, and apologies if I'm not allowed to talk about this on the air, but you mentioned that you've been using social media. I do. I do use social media occasionally, you know, occasionally.

Just for fun. Just once in a while. Once in a while. Sure. Oh, oh, is this for me to say what kinds and how? Hey, Jaffe, do whatever the fuck you want to. Don't let us tell you what to do. My wife told me I woke her up last night because in my sleep I was punching the mattress.

So I think all rules are off. Oh, boy. Okay, phew. So you can find me. Well, it would be great if you wanted to follow me, honestly. I'd love to have you there. It's just at Jenny Jaffe, uh, on, on everything. And, uh, and I, as I told these guys there, I, I work primarily in animation

and features. So my ability to actually plug stuff happens like once every three or four years, but I think there are some things that are about to be announced uh shortly so hopefully uh if you come follow me then i can tell you all about it leto v fud leto v fud leto v fud oh my god i honestly love i we gotta we gotta make it happen the two most famous uh famous adversaries yeah they can then they can at at some point they're they're fighting and then they have to like team up against taz but not like the naked taz but the taz who's like you know wearing the cool baggy jeans you know that you guys know that taz you've seen that taz the one from sweatshirts. Yeah. Sweatshirt Taz. I love sweatshirt Taz as much as I love Tweety Bird who's mean.

Where it's like, I don't like stupid and today isn't your day or something. But he's not a- The kind that was from the Looney Tunes store at the mall where they had the spaceship thing that you could climb into. And Marvin the Martian would like say stuff if you press things. Oh, I don't remember that uh this is just a dream you had where you woke up punching the mattress i would love if anybody's listening and remembers the like warner brothers stores that was the jam when that was at the stanford mall yeah and so was the disney store that was the best iteration of the Stanford mall.

Those were the days. You know what? I'm changing. You remember how we had Leto v. Fudd? I got an update on that. I got a new pitch. Leto v. Lids with a Z. So he's just fighting stores at the mall?

Well, just Lids specifically, because he's got too many hats as far as he's concerned. Right. And then so they're fighting and then at the end they have to team up against orange julius no hot topic is better that's a better pitch yeah no hot topic would be on their side hot topic kind of can't can't do it without them yeah i mean can you imagine a hot topic looking at a conflict that involved jared leto and not siding with Jared Leto? Yeah, he's printing their money. Yeah, pretty much, more or less.

Well, Jenny Jaffe, it's been a joy to have you on the program. Let's just say somebody wanted to follow you on Twitter. How would they do that? I would love it if they wanted to do that, at Jenny Jaffe. There you go. J-E-N-N-Y-J-A-F-F-E. Jordan, Jesse Goh, of course, produced by brian sunny d fernandez our theme music love you by the free design courtesy of the free design and light in the attic

records you can find us on reddit maximum fun.reddit.com you can find us on facebook by liking jordan jesse go you can follow us on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne. You can find us on Instagram at put.this.on and at Jordan, David Morris. And you know what? I think that's everything that we've ever done. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse go. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. Walter Sparky Cunnilingus.