Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 68: Grandpa Laughed

Episode Date: July 15, 2008

Some amazing moments of shame, fun movie discussion, plus the Maximum Fun Weight Loss Challenge!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and sex and run you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is... Jordan, Jesse, go! Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks, Solomon, friendly, maggoty, maddy, twiddle, dum, twiddly, palm tree. This week, plenty of movie talk plus the maximum fun weight loss challenge.

There's a sawbuck riding on it. Let's go. It's Jordan. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan? Yes.

How are you handling our newfound fame? You know, honestly, I'm going to say I haven't noticed any changes to the level of my personal fame. That's not true. Just the other day you noticed some changes. fame. That's not true. Just the other day you noticed some changes. Remember when you looked at your fame watch and it said 10 more? 10 more fames? Yeah. I thought that just adjusted for yearly fame inflation. Well, yeah, it does. The famousness of the average American is going up, and I just assumed that was, you know, I was just adjusting with the mean. I don't think I did anything.

No, you're far outstripping the mean, Jordan, because this program is taking off. Wow. We're exploding into the stratosphere. Hmm. Like a rocket. Or like a missile. Huh. I'm telling you, Jordan.

Something that, well. We're on the cusp of something big here, Jordan. We could be the next Brendan of something big here, Jordan. We could be the next Brendan Fraser. Man, two movies in one month? Yeah, exactly. Are you saying that we're going to come out with two action-packed movies in one month, each of which we will appear shirtless in? Jordan, we're already in 3D.

Man, that's great. Get a load of this, right? Wait, wait. 3D or IMAX 3D? IMAX 3D? Sure.d sure why not 70 millimeter just like journey to james cameron's house my favorite movie that's what james cameron's been working on since he made titanic right journey to james cameron's house yeah exactly and here's a squirrel. And it runs at you in 3D. Yeah. Is it a bad idea for me to go see Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D, IMAX 3D?

Well. I'm coming to you, Jordan, because I need your help and advice. Okay. So what was the last movie you saw? Don't remember. Okay. And do you plan on seeing, so, okay. So you don't see a lot of movies. You're not, you're not a guy who just goes to see a movie. I did go to see a movie. I went to see a movie. Do you remember what it was? It was at the Korean movie theater where I like to go see a movie i know what it was pixar oh wally yeah wally how'd

you like that it was a little boring to tell you the truth oh yeah i feel like i'm swimming against the tide on this one i didn't dislike it sure i thought it was a little boring it's a little dull i didn't and i didn't really care that much. Everybody was telling me how amazing it was, how much they cared. Yeah, I was preparing to tear up. Oh, yeah? But it didn't happen. Teresa teared up. I went to see it at the El Capitan Theater, which is kind of Disney's theater that they own out here.

The El Cap? The El Cap. Or the E-Cap. Sure. If you want to drop the L, which I usually do. It was the E-Cap for a brief period in the late 90s. Sure. Immediately before and after its IPO.

And it's extra. At the time, Jordan, all the seating, you've heard of stadium seating, right? Yeah. It was all air on chairs. You could play foosball during the movie. Sure. And you rode in on a razor scooter. Exactly.

Exactly, Jordan. Exactly. Casual dress code. The ushers are like, hey, call me Josh. As many snacks as you want. Mm-hmm. Anyway. Bennies.

Yeah. Great benefits. Ben-Bens. Stock options turned out to be worthless. Mm-hmm. Go ahead. And it's extra to get into the El Capitan Theater. It's a big movie palace.

It's just real impressive. And there's a guy kind of before the movie playing the pipe organ. Oh, really? Yeah, he's playing like Disney themes. Where is this movie theater? I should go to this movie theater. It's on Hollywood Boulevard. It's right in the middle of just the Hollywood, you know, kind of fuck you area.

Right. But it's real, I mean, if you want to see a Disney movie, it's real cool. There's a guy playing the pipe organ, playing all disney themes on it you know real neat um there's a little wally display that you can walk through that shows you know the magic of making wally um and anyways we uh we went to this movie um because it was advertised that there was like this parade of disney characters before the movie. That sounds really fun. Right.

You want to see a parade. Disney knows how to put on a show. Look, Jordan, if there's one entertainment multi-mega conglomerate in the United States that knows how to put together a parade, it's the Disney Corporation. Look at this legacy of parades. Main Street Electrical Parade. Sure. Main Street Characters Parade. I don't know if that's a real parade holiday oh six exactly 25 years of magic jordan hercules the parade go ahead um anyway so the parade of disney characters was uh

a sherlock holmes but with mice a parade experience yeah um a two-minute parade go ahead go ahead anyway so they had is that because moriarty just stomps on the mice that it's so short is that what you're getting at yeah okay also they kill 80 live mice over the course of each parade turned out it was cruel as well as short yeah it was both cruel and short but worth it that was why they canceled it oh it turned out to not be worth it oh um anyways this parade of disney characters was uh not up to par with the standards of the usual disney shows um you know i. I went to Disneyland for a birthday party the week before and was just blown away by the current Disneyland fireworks display. Awesome themes, lasers, fireball that shoots up in the air.

I mean, really, really took fireworks to the next level for me. That sounds phantasmic. It was. And anyways, but this pre-Wall-E character parade was a real letdown. They had these kind of four women in these kind of white flowing gowns on stage, and they would do just the most high school production of Bye Bye Birdie dances while Disney songs played like i'm like just like box steps just variations on the box step um so while disney songs played and then a character from the movie the song was from would come out on stage and not even dance just like wave and step to one side and then step to the other side and then run off but this thing was so long and it encompassed so many obscure disney movies and it was just like so you have these women on stage box stepping and then like doing the swim when

there's a water related movie that comes on then you have a character come and just like hey now you know the monkey from tarzan and it's just like just so awful and uh so i do not recommend Tarzan. It's just so awful. So I do not recommend WALL-E at the ECAP. But yeah, WALL-E, I don't know. Maybe that's why I wasn't in the headspace to get the maximum emotion from WALL-E. See, here's the thing.

I was surrounded by adorable Korean children who were shockingly good during the movie. So I should have been in that headspace. who were shockingly good during the movie. So I should have been in that headspace. Yeah, I wonder if WALL-E, on just your average American 8-year-old, I wonder what they, because it is so quiet and it is so uneventful, I wonder like what. Your average Korean-American 8-year-old just loves the shit out of it. The fact of the matter is, here's the thing, Jordan.

You can make poor quality children's entertainment, you can make poor quality children's entertainment you can make good quality children's entertainment it's not going to matter to the children yeah you're not making a higher quality of children's entertainment for the sake of children right you're making a higher for the sake of parents sure basically or for your own sake in the case of pixar i mean i think right oh because you don't want you to be perfectly happy if you don't want your was played by ray romano or whatever you don't want your soul to eject from your body yeah exactly yeah so anyway the question is imax 3d brendan fraser stars in journey to the center of the earth i think think it costs... What does an IMAX movie cost? $12?

I think so. Sounds about right. $12. IMAX Experience, Jordan. I'd say it's rolled out for Batman, right? They're going to have that in IMAX 3D? I don't think it'll be 3D, but I think you can see it on IMAX. Jordan.

Well, if you insist on seeing a movie in 3D, that's like your only choice. So if that's going to be your argument for every other movie I suggest that you see, just go fucking see Journey to the Center of the Earth. I saw Dial M for Murder in 3D. Is that currently playing? No.

Well, is that how this is going to go down? I'm going to suggest another movie to see and you're going to say, but it's not in 3D. Is that how this is going to be? Unless you suggest that I see Captain EO. Captain EO isn't even around anymore. It's not even an option. It's Honey, I Shrunk the Kids 3D Adventure.

Jordan. What? Are you or are you not here to save the world? No, I'm not, Jesse. Well, that's why you're so down on Captain EO. I'm here to shrink down with Michael Palin. Oh, look out! What?

Sorry, I just got freaked out because a feathery alien ball thing flew at me oh you're pretending to watch captain eo no i really am watching captain eo in my mind's eye jordan is there a nice dvd of captain eo out these days no you cannot get captain eo anywhere it's too bad because uh i watched captain eo on a bootleg oh and uh it was about as good as i remembered it did it come with 3d glasses uh no it did not come with bootleg 3D glasses. Was it just like weird and did everything have red and blue halos around it? It was like a 2D version of it. Okay.

So you could tell when the 3D thing was happening because it was a boring thing to watch in 2D. Right. But, you know, something was randomly thrust and getting bigger on the screen. Gotcha. But, yeah. But you know something was randomly thrust and getting bigger on the screen gotcha um but yeah i but you know what the fact of the matter is that you put the king of pop in there and i'm on board at the end of the day that's that's the moral of the story do you think it's not on dvd because he killed all those kids jordan he didn't kill any children well that's what i've been loved to believe no i don I don't think so. I think he was pulling out... He pressed their face into the sand.

No, he was pulling out life support tubes from old people. I don't know. Whose face was he pressing into the sand, though? That was kids. Oh, yeah, kids. Oh, he was killing kids. Okay, good, good, good. That was way off base.

Well, now that this is back on track, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. What does Adam Carolla have to do to get a decent release for his movie? I don't know. Is he just not famous enough? Yeah, I don't know.

Okay, so you saw the Adam Carolla movie, The Hammer. Yeah, the Adam Carolla movie is called The Hammer. Here's the story of the movie. Adam Carolla and his colorful ethnic sidekick are laborers and then they get fired because adam carolla gets into some hijinks and funny hijinks or just regular hijinks okay i would say and uh adam carolla has to pick up some extra classes at the gym where he teaches cardio boxing. And somebody sees him sparring with somebody. And long story short, is he headed to the Olympics at the age of 43?

Wow, that seems unlikely. He still has his amateur status, Jordan. Now, I will say this. Okay. I'm not a huge adam carolla fan i'm not against adam carolla either no i'm just ambivalent about him don't listen to his radio show i have a lot of positive feelings about adam carolla i really liked him on uh loveline growing up i think that he's very funny in that context yeah i haven't really liked anything any of his other ventures uh i think that loveline was good for him because it, he seems, I mean, he's a guy who clearly kind of came up, you know, who kind of clearly, you know, grew up in a lower middle class situation, a real like, you know, real legitimate, just kind of, you know, suburban-y, lower middle class existence. I think that perspective came through just so good. He just like nailed it so hard and like, um, uh, you know, and, and being a sex advice show that aired on

modern rock radio stations allowed him to interact with a lot of, you know, lower middle class teens who he could make fun of appropriately cause he just knew it so well, you know, just, uh, yeah, you know, he just nailed like people who go to community college and, you know just uh yeah you know he just nailed like people who go to community college and you know uh working at the jet ski store and installing car stereos and stuff and it really uh yeah it really came through he really made made the made the most out of his strong perspective name me that horrible television program on comedy central uh the man show oh well that one too i was thinking of the adam carolla show oh i didn't even watch that yeah it was horrible and the man show was pretty bad what was the adam Carolla show. Oh, I didn't even watch that. Yeah, it was horrible. And the man show was pretty bad too. What was the Adam Carolla show?

It was a talk show. It was like a late night talk show hosted by Adam Carolla. And he was just horrifically bad at it. Just terrible at it. Funny. I mean, he's a funny guy, but he was just horrible at hosting it. And I haven't heard his morning show to tell you the truth. Although I know you've heard it at least a few times.

Yeah, I've heard it a couple of times. And it's okay. For a while, he had Danny Bonad at least a few times. Yeah, I've heard it a couple of times, and it's okay. For a while, he had Danny Bonaduce on it with him. Oh, I did hear a segment with that. Which was just awful. Oh, my God. I mean, Danny Bonaduce is one of the worst celebrities in the world. Oh, my God.

He was so terrible. I heard just some segment with him, them, and Norm MacDonald, and he was just— Just self-obsessed and ruined everything. Oh. But he's not on it anymore and when i was listening adam carolla was pretty openly contemptuous of danny bonaduce yeah like as though someone had put him on his show and he hated him sure in every way like not in a like a showbiz way like he seemed to sincerely hate danny bonaduce i can't imagine not hating him he was so hateable um well anyway yeah yeah but uh i don't think danny bonaduce is on anymore and yeah it's

just kind of typical fm talk you know stuff um i mean it's it's you know the love line thing was so great because it you know yeah there was so much like honesty you know like someone would call up and be freaked out and like i don't know it just was real as opposed to like right you know manufactured prank calls and stuff like that so anyway this movie is possibly the most formulaic movie i've ever seen in my entire life and I want to lay that out right at the beginning. Like, you can see every single thing happening in this movie a thousand miles before it happens. Just, it's obviously somebody just,

like, took ten movies, made the average of them, and then thought, let's put Adam Carolla in it. You know what's funny? I went to the premiere of this movie. I had to work at the premiere of it. then thought, let's put Adam Carolla in it. You know what's funny? I went to the premiere of this movie. I had to work at the premiere of it. I didn't see the movie. Little showbiz fact,

when reporters are at the red carpet of a movie, they do not get to see the movie. They just have to go home while everyone's watching the movie. Anyways, the director of the Adam Carolla movie, flamingly gay really yeah like like open shirt open two belly button scarf prancing loud gay guy well let me say anyway let me say this about i don't know if that comes out in the not even i would never have guessed in

a million trillion bajillion years. Yeah. I would have guessed that it was some kind of like Jay Roach, like just a guy who's just one of his buddies, just like real competent, real passable. Sure. But here's the thing. I've said all these bad things about the movie. I really liked it. I really liked it. For one it for one thing adam carolla is really funny in it and he's it also has those as a movie given this context of its kind of absurd formulaic ness it has those qualities that you were just talking about that were so great in him on loveline which is which are the it it has this this kind of blue collar context that feels totally sincere and carola is just i thought he was really excellent in it like he doesn't it's certainly not a stretch by any means he's basically playing himself but he's he's just he's really sincere and likable and and the movie is damn funny i think it's one

of the i thought it was one of the funniest movies i've seen in in the last couple years honestly huh that's yeah um yeah you know it's like so much stuff in hollywood tries to hit blue collar ness in hopes of you know reaching the blue collar people of america you know that uh you're uh you're king of queens as you're according to jims and i'm seeing these um posters around town for a show on spike and the um the the poster is like a like a metal construction worker lunchbox with three average schlubs heads coming out of it. Anyways, every time I watch one of those, it just seems so cynical and gross to me. Yeah, absolutely.

What was really nice about this is I joked about his colorful ethnic sidekick. But even his colorful ethnic sidekick, whose main joke was that it didn't speak english that well or something like that you know what i mean was treated with a lot of respect yeah like it did not at all feel like that was the point of the character you know what i mean well you know it's a movie so he's the best friend so he's kind of just has to be one thing. Right. But he was like, you really, like I found myself really buying into the idea that like they were really best friends. Sure. Like Adam Carolla got him fired.

So he was working really, he had to try really hard to find him a new job because he felt really bad about getting him fired. Yeah. But like in an actual way, not in like a crazy hijinks way. Sure. And, uh, Adam Carolla did a lot of boxing in the movie, I guess. Okay.

Which was fine. It was all fine. I really liked it. That's, I just wanted to say, like, it's been a long time since I've seen just like a really regular movie. Right.

That I really enjoyed. You know what I mean? And it reminded me of the fact that you can make a regular movie. That's funny. Sure. Like it doesn't have to be either Judd Apatow or like just a crazy improv free-for-all. Yeah, yeah.

Like Anchorman or something like that. You don't just have to jettison the idea that you're making a movie or just make it specifically about nerds who can't grow up and make a lot of wisecracks yeah you know what i mean like it was clear he was grown up throughout the movie um did you see when you saw wally did you see a preview for uh chihuahua the movie no i didn't but i've heard a lot about the preview for chihuahua the movie and let's be clear this isn't just any chihuahua this is a beverly hills chihuahua there you go anyways that to me seemed aggressively cynical like it was almost making fun of the people who

would potentially go to see it it's just it seemed like hateful It's just a movie producer just rubbing his balls on some film stock. Right. Yes, exactly. What an amazing world we live in, Jordan. Isn't it neat? It's real neat. Jordan, here's what happened. A man with $10 million had another man come to him and say,

I would like to make a film entitled beverly hills chihuahua why would that cost more than 10 million a lot of cgi in that oh yeah oh yeah that was a 30 mil i bet 30 mil huh well a man with 30 million dollars decided to give it to another man to make beverly hills chihuah. He probably did his due diligence reading a script called Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. It took a couple hours.

Holy mackerel. It took his assistant a couple hours. But anyway, I just want to say, like, if you want to see a nice, funny movie, it's not the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I really was surprised, I felt surprised and disappointed that it didn't get a proper they didn't get a proper theatrical release i mean it did have a small theatrical release but it didn't yeah get a chance to open wide and build some audience for actually being good the hammer there you go can i tell a movie related story yeah absolutely uh today i was doing i was i was doing the press junkie wait on, on second thought, you can't. Okay. And this is a story that involves celebrities, Jesse.

Okay, go ahead. Okay. This will get us a lot of people linked to this. Oh, good. A lot of Google juice. Yeah, a lot of Google juice. Today I was doing the press junket, and the press junket is the thing where you see on TV,

you see the reporter sitting in a chair across from the star and asking them one or two questions. The deal with this thing is the reporters come in in mass and they wait in a big line and Brendan Fraser, in this case, is in the room in a chair and you sit down for five minutes, you ask them all your questions and then you leave and they give you the tape and you put that on TV anyways i was doing the um the the the junket for uh the new mummy movie uh which stinks by the way um and um isn't that the premise of the movie yeah yeah the premise of the movie is uh uh this will be okay on TNT while you're cleaning the house. Okay, good.

Wasn't the premise of the movie, aren't there new things we can do with special effects and sand? Yeah, yeah, exactly. There's a lot of sand-based wizardry. Oh, there's a pretty cool abominable snowman scene. Oh, well. That's all right. Three stars. Yeah, three stars. three stars thanks usa today i just talked

about how much i loved an adam carolla movie so um anyways and uh i don't know if i need to keep resetting this every time i talk about it but i guess i i guess i will um in fear of leaving someone behind but uh for my job i often do have to do these interviews in some sort of wacky costume or with some wacky premise. And in this, I was wearing a onesie. Uh-huh. A onesie with a butt flap that came out. Like a baby's onesie. Yeah, like a baby's onesie with feet.

It's a man-sized onesie. Yeah, and the butt came out. Oh, but it has feet. It has feet. Okay, I gotcha. So, anyway. Those of you who are wearing footies. Yeah, yeah, footies.

Yeah. Footie PJs. Gotcha. Anyway, so I'm sitting and I'm waiting for this thing and they kind of have, the people running the tapes back and forth are usually kind of the, like the assistants at the studio and stuff. And these are, you know, these are typically cute girls. Sure. It's kind of the kind of girl who would be working entertainment yeah absolutely anyways uh i noticed each time this

one girl walked back and forth from the tapes she gave me a little look i was feeling good like hey you're getting a look jordan and it actually took me about 10 minutes to to remember that I was dressed as an adult baby. I'm like, oh yeah. You're wearing a onesie at the Four Seasons Hotel. On the plus side, she did bring you your baba. She did. I read an interview with Brendan Fraser in the AV Club

and I just found it tremendously endearing. Yeah? I was like, man, Brendan Fraser knows exactly what he's doing. Yeah, he was funny. When I talked to him, he was real funny and affable. I really liked him. Yeah, I like Brendan Fraser.

Yeah, he's not in good movies or anything. Well, he's in The Scout, a little movie called The Scout. Did you see Dudley Do-Right? Yes, I think I did see Dudley Doley do right i kind of want to see that i like i like dudley do right as a child i feel like i might i think it had like i want to say it had eric idol in it no yeah in a pretty significant part it sounds like something eric idol would be in yeah dudley do right no it doesn't because it's not monty python related oh yeah it's not a sad cash-in on his former fame. Yeah, it's not squeezing the life out of Monty Python.

Oh, man. Well, anyway, to summarize, if a girl's checking you out, you're probably wearing a onesie, and the Adam Carolla movie is surprisingly good. And if you don't love Brendan Fraser, you're an asshole. Yeah. We'll be back in just a second on

Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, if you host a podcast like this one, people call into you all the time with amazing stories. It's true. You know Porn Girl?

Yeah, I remember Porn Girl. She's the girl who got a job watching pornography. And reviewing it. Yeah. She called in with a story about studying Spanish in Oaxaca. It's a funny coincidence. That's our new sponsor, isn't it? Yeah, exactly.

Exactly, Jordan. That is exactly what I'm saying. So she probably called in to tell us that her experience studying Spanish in Oaxaca was great and thanking us for recommending such a great program. She said it sounded great. Right. Here's what happened. She and her boyfriend were both interested in studying Spanish in Oaxaca. Now, this is before studying Spanish in Oaxaca was a sponsor of Jordan, Jesse, Go.

I want to make that clear. Now, they looked at the prices they weren't rich people they decided for now we can only send one of us to study spanish in oaxaca right now to be clear again this is before they were the sponsor of our program before you could get 10 off just for being a jordan jessico listener which would have allowed both of them to go. Okay, not that I know the end of this story or anything, but you're saying that if for some reason this story has a catastrophic or depressing end, you're saying that if they called up Study Spanish in Oaxaca

and got the 10% Jordan Jessico discount, that terrible thing might never have happened? Exactly. That's what I'm building towards, certainly. Oh, okay. You've deflated it now, but yeah, absolutely. Now, here's what happened, Jordan. Okay. The boyfriend went to study Spanish in Oaxaca.

So he went to study abroad. And he really studied abroad. Wait a minute. That's right. You're saying that there was an instance of infidelity? Infidelity occurred in sunny Mexico. Oh, boy. In the state of Oaxaca. So you're saying that all that Porn Girl would have had to do...

Is get 10% off. They both could have gone, and he would have... He would have stayed with her. And she would have not known that he was a philanderer. Exactly, Jordan. That's what this is about. Wow. Look, it doesn't matter if you're trying to keep your boyfriend

or fuck around on your girlfriend. Either way, the answer is study Spanish in Oaxaca.com. Jordan Jesse Goh, 10% discount, keeps relationships together a few more months. You can go to the Español Interactivo Language School in beautiful Oaxaca, where I have been, and it is just really wonderfully beautiful. You'll learn to converse in Spanish with your host family. You'll learn interactively with your teacher and your fellow students. And who knows, you just might dump that old sack of bologna you got back home in the states for a spicy latina a spicy spicy spicy

that's the only uh that's the only adjective that's the only adjective that an American person is allowed to use about anyone from south of the border. Mm-hmm. Spicy. Spicy. Yeah. I shouldn't say that anymore. Nah. Please don't.

I'm probably about three or four past how many I should have said to begin with. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I should have said it. I was fine when I said it, but then you started saying it. There wasn't any reason for me to say it, certainly. Hey, let's just say StudySpanishInOaxaca.com. Yeah, StudySpanishInOaxaca.com.

You can go book a trip there. They'll help you with the accommodations, the whole nine yards. You'll get 10% off. And boy, howdy, will you learn how to speak Spanish at StudySpanishInOaxaca.com. Jordan. Yeah. You and I both know Bugs Meany. I don't.

Bugs Meany. Sure you do. Bugs Meany. I don't know Bugs Meany. I bet you can guess who Bugs Meany is. Is this a Mad Magazine version of Bugs Bunny bunny that uh you know barfs on people jordan this is one of our nerd friends from the internet oh okay uh bugs meanie is not just any one of our nerds friends from the internet he is um one who would like to lose some weight okay so this is what we're doing i usually don't pay attention to these things unless it's about WadeWord.

Jordan, you have that whole WadeWord scrapbook. Don't you get enough WadeWord out of your WadeWord scrapbook? Well, I'm just saying that I only have room in my life for a certain amount of oddly named Internet people. Right. I kind of just want to concentrate on WadeWord. Do you think you could make room for Bugs Meany? Not if he's fat.

Well, he won't be soon. Okay. Because of the first annual Maximum Fun Weight Loss Challenge. Don't laugh at me. Don't laugh at me. No. I mean, I'm saying it's fine to lose weight. I just think it's funny that we're now just tacking maximum fun onto the front of things.

Well, of course we're tacking. That's what we're doing. We're running a media empire, Jordan. It's like Virgin. We're Richard Branson. Oh, that's cool. You see what I'm saying? We are Richard Branson.

We bought an entire town in Missouri. Are we going to ride a jet ski into space? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, that's great. That's next on the agenda, my friend. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's hear about this weight loss contest. Okay. Here's what it is. Starting a week from Wednesday, which is Wednesday, the 23rd of July, everyone is going to tell Bugs Meany what their current weight is. Everyone who wants to participate in the weight loss challenge. Everyone who's not a real scrotum. Right.

People who have guts. Sure. Who aren't a scrotum. Who don't have the typically weak characteristics associated with a scrotum. So everybody's going to tell Bugs Meany on the forum what their current weight is. The contest runs for eight weeks. Every week you've got to give Bugs Meany an update about your weight, Jordan. Okay.

Every week you have to tell Bugs Meany what your weight is, current weight, every Wednesday. Right. You eat healthy. You exercise. Sure. You start to. You exercise. Sure. You start to look better and better. You cut out sugary sodas. And at the end of eight weeks, a winner is chosen.

Wow, does the winner get sex? The winner gets, well, of course they get sex. They get tons of sex every time they go out to a bar because they look so great. Here's what they get. Number one, another guy, Daryl from Montana on the forum, is an artist. He creates these prints using a Polaroid transfer technique. He has a great print that says, let's go on it. Great looking print.

It's all framed up and ready to go right here in my apartment. It's an art print. He gave me one that's up on my wall. We got one for you. We got one for the winner of this weight loss challenge. Oh, so I already get one. Yeah, you get one. So I can get fatter then.

Yeah, no, absolutely. I encourage you to get fatter. That's great. That's not true. I don't, but we're just getting to that. It's unhealthy. Okay, so you get this thing if you win. Plus, what Bugs Meany is suggesting is everybody who enters, if you don't win,

donate something to Maximum Fun. This is optional. We don't. Health is most important. Right. So we don't want to cut anybody out of this. But if you need a little motivation. Sure.

Why not? Why not? Say, I got a sawbuck on the line. Exactly. You're looking for a sawbuck. Don't just put two bits on the line. No. You know what I'm saying?

You got to go with a full sawbuck. Yeah. Don't just meat and two veg out there. Sure. You know what I'm saying, Jordan? You want to sacrifice what would be a whole trolley ride. Yeah, you're going to need a bushel of this. Sure.

You know what I mean? Get some loonies on it. For our Canadian friends. So this is how it works. Because some of our forum members are, let's just say, more fatter, to put it delicately, more fatter than others, it will be expressed as a percentage of your total body weight. Okay. It will be expressed as a percentage of your total body weight.

Okay. So the person who has lost the greatest percentage of their total body weight will be crowned the winner. Now, Jordan, this is where the challenge part comes in. It's called the weight loss challenge for a reason. I'm joining. Oh, wow. Should I join? Yes. Okay.

Here's what my current situation is, Jordan. Right. I weigh, I'm six feet three inches tall. Mm-hmm. I weigh roughly, and I don't own a scale, but I'm guesstimating 210 pounds. Okay. I think I can get to my playing weight, back when I was a professional ball player. Right.

195. I think I can get to 195. That's pretty good. Eight weeks, I think I can get to 195. Okay. How do you feel about your weight, Jordan? Geez, I'm about 160. You're going about 160.

Don't look great with my shirt off. But you're not obese. No. By no means are you obese. I'm doughy. You're doughy. Well, both of us are doughy, Jordan. We're doughy, gentlemen.

That's why we're podcasters, Jordan. I mean, I do notice that oftentimes when I appear on television and I take off my shirt, it's used to comic effect. Right. Yeah, no, absolutely. shirt it's used to comic effect right yeah no absolutely in fact i know i'm not you know god god bless my weird physique if it's brought others joy when it's displayed on tv and you don't want to stand between others and their joy right and i would you know god forbid i don't look funny and when i take off my shirt, instead of inspiring, you know, chuckles, it inspires, you know. Boners.

Boners. Or a lady boner. Ladies get boners too, Jordan. It's called shoe shopping, am I right? Hello! Look out. Look out. Jordan's going to be here all week, folks.

Tip your waitress. Yeah, but I could lose a few. You think you could lose a few? Yeah. What would you do? Healthy diet? Exercise? Well, I've already been soda-free for a month and a half.

How's that going? It's okay. The Jones gets pretty bad sometimes. Oh, yeah? I just want a Jones soda. Or any soda. When does it get the worst? When I'm eating a piece of pizza.

Oh, yeah. You usually want some root beer. it's just like uh it's yeah it's just triggered by whatever the food is that i'm eating if i'm eating something you know like cheesy and delicious it's like oh you need a dr pepper it's bad but uh you know some uh some some green tea you'll curb that and uh some maybe some like carbonated water yeah carbonated water is nice i like it sure go with crystal Geyser? I was having some Pellegrinos today. Oh, very classy. I had a couple of Pellegrinos.

Sorry I'm not as classy as you, Jordan. Well, I was at a press junket. Oh, sure. There was a bucket of Pellegrinos. So I had a couple of those. You helped yourself. I was there for about four hours. Built up a good pee. I could have a couple of Pellegrinos.

Jordan, have you ever eaten beets? Yeah. I enjoy a borscht sometimes. Borscht is nice, right? Yeah. Although the other day, I had a borscht and it was served hot. It confused me. I thought it was a cold soup.

Borscht can be a hot or a cold soup, I learned in the Russian culture portion of my Russian language class in high school. Yeah. I went to a restaurant in LA called Borscht and such. Borscht and waffles. No, anyways, whatever. I ordered Borscht and it was hot and it confused me. I don't need to describe the story.

Did it come with sour cream in there? No. What the fuck? Why would you even eat Borscht without sour cream? This was a vegan restaurant. Oh, God. Fucking vegans. I know, right? They're taking the sour cream out This was a vegan restaurant. Oh, God. Fucking vegans. I know, right? They're taking the sour cream out of borscht. They're taking out the sour cream.

They're heating up the borscht. This is outrageous. Okay, well, I roasted some beets. Okay. Not only did I like it, it turned my pee orangey red. Whoa. Isn't that awesome?

Yeah. It was like I had just been beaten senseless. Like I'd really gotten a few solid kidney punches. Oh you know what i'm saying gotcha it was fantastic so one weight loss technique that i recommend is roast beets is roast beets you get a beet you wrap it up in tinfoil this goes in with our recipes earlier yeah you bring each oven-heat your oven to 450. Yeah. Put it in there for approximately one hour, possibly 75 minutes at 450. Unwrap it. Peel off the skin. It comes off real easy. Eat that bad boy. You're going to love it, Jordan. Yeah. I probably won't do that. That's the maximum fun promise. Yeah. Well, I still won't do it. How many pounds do you think

you can lose, Jordan? It's called a challenge. I can lose 10 pounds. I'm going to lose 15. Yeah? Mm-hmm. I'm going to shoot small. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Ain't that always the way?

Mm-hmm. Oh, so you think it'll be more interesting if I try and lose more than you? I don't know. If you're 160 and I'm 210, I guess you losing 10 is pretty similar to me losing 15. Yeah, I think so, too. Are you ready to put a side bet on this as a percentage of total body weight? Eight weeks from now. What do you have in mind?

Sawbuck? This is an excuse to say sawbuck more. I did set the whole thing up so that we could say sawbuck a lot. But are you blaming me for it? It's working great. I mean, we have said Sawbuck. I don't know if it's... Exactly. That's been successful.

What's your problem with it? All right. You ready for it? Yeah. 20 bucks? Oh, yeah, sure. Why not? 20 bucks.

20 bucks. Me and Jordan are in. If you're in, it starts a week from Wednesday. There's a thread about it on the forum right now. Get ready. It's going to be eight weeks of awesome austerity. Can we have a flicker pool where we take pictures of ourselves being healthy? Yes, absolutely. Yes, that's a great idea. We'll be taking pictures of ourselves doing something healthy and sharing it on the forum thread too.

Yeah, that'd be fun. I think what, what should they, what do, what should they tag the pictures of them being healthy? I don't really know how to use Flickr. You put a tag on it. Okay.

I'm going to be like, uh, yeah. Uh, MF, WLC. Max fun health. Yeah.

Max fun health. It is. Okay. Okay. So you take pictures of yourself being healthy, tag them, max fun health, put them on the Flickr. See, we'll see you on the forum. MaxFunHealth it is Okay so you take pictures of yourself being healthy Tag them MaxFunHealth Put them on the Flickr

We'll see you on the forum And Jordan and I got a sawbuck riding on this And I want you to know Jordan That this sawbuck is my life savings I work in podcasting You work in television I hate to deprive your children of a college education Or I should say of a community college credit

Jordan they weren't going to college anyway. Oh, yeah, because they're so stupid. My kids are idiots. Man, yeah. Fucking stupid. They make Coco look like Albert Einstein. Jordan, it seems like the more I beat them, the dumber they get. Yeah.

It is really something. Well, anyway, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Jordan. Jordan. Yeah. You know how they say the postman always rings twice? Yeah, they do say that. Well, our phone doesn't ring. It just goes straight to voicemail.

But people call it sometimes. Sometimes twice. Hi, Jordan and Jesse. This is Kay Fury from the forum You might remember me from Owning Donk I think I have the solution To your Donk problem

I would say Since you're having the taco truck Anyway the obvious solution Is to use crepe paper To disguise your Donk As pinatas As long as you don't have any sticks around, there shouldn't be any danger of them being hit.

Now, just to fill in listeners who don't know, last week, the National Park Service, the sickening tyrants in the National Park Service, outrageously claimed that it was against their policy to have donks or miniature donkeys on their property, specifically Fort Mason in San Francisco, where I'm planning to have my wedding reception. And they forbade me from bringing such animals as donks or miniature donkeys to liven up the proceedings on spurious health and liability-related grounds. Hmm.

Apparently, donks will just shit anywhere. Yeah. That's what they claim. That's what they claim. I claim otherwise. You claim that they don't. I don't think they shit. They're selective with how they shit.

I mean, Kay k fury is the one who actually owned donks owns donks and she's suggesting subterfuge to get donks into this thing so i'm thinking that she as an expert on donks thinks that there's no safety related issues and i should just go ahead and do it so if so facto quo vidus dictum although here here's my here's the problem i see with this whole disguised as piñata idea right yeah you could do that and yeah you can just clear the area of sticks but uh how are you there's piñatas around and no sticks people will just kick them open you know what i was thinking piñatas around and no like after i got a couple cocktails in me i just want to kick

the piñatas open plus where do you put the candy? Yeah. You know what I mean? So it is... Not up the donk's butt. No, because stuff comes out of the donk's butt. No, it doesn't. That's what we learned just a moment ago. Oh, yeah.

Nothing comes out of there. Remember when we learned that, Jordan? Yeah. Okay. Well, we had one more suggestion with regard to my jihad against the National Park Service. Now, again, when I say jihad, I don't mean holy war. It's a word with multiple meanings. Hey, Jordan.

Hey, Jesse. It's Nate from Madison, Wisconsin. I have a great way for you to stick it to the National Park Service. I say you just go down the street, open up your own national park, one where donks are allowed, and let the public decide. Where will they flock to? The park with donks. Whether they can choose bear attacks, severe maulings, and possible maiming over donks, I don't think so.

You know, just leave it up to the public. And then, once you drive the National Park Service out of business, you can just buy up the parks yourself for cheap. People are already upset with the National Park Service because they're arrogant, Jordan. They're an arrogant monopoly. Well, they don't have any competition. Exactly, Jordan. Exactly.

Now, Jordan, I know you're not a native San Franciscan, so I'm just going to come out and tell you what's down the street from Fort Mason. What? Joe DiMaggio's house. Wow. So here's what I'll do. This is just a theoretical plan so far. Sure.

I buy Joe DiMaggio's house. Okay. I turn it into the Joe DiMaggio Donks and Mr. Coffee Museum. Okay. It's a tribute to Joe DiMaggio, one of San Francisco's favorite sons, legendary New York Yankee center fielder Joe DiMaggio, brother of Dom DiMaggio. Okay. It's also a tribute to Donks and the Mr. Coffee coffee machines that Joe DiMaggio was so legendary for endorsing. So this is what we call marketing synergy.

Right, exactly. It's tri-synergy specifically. Gotcha. Sure, sure. Trinergy. Yeah, trinergy. That sounds pretty good. Are the donks, is Joe DiMaggio's house so big that the donks will be comfortable?

The donks are comfortable anywhere, Jordan. Donks are beautiful creatures. They're comfortable. They don't shit. And they are fine being stacked. And they're not violent. Yet, Jordan. Wow, yeah.

Yet. Yet. So far in the history of donks, there has never been a recorded instance of a donk murdering in cold blood a National Park Service official. Are you suggesting with this that the donks wanted to go to your wedding so bad that they may go against their nature and become violent because they don't get to go? Look, Jordan. What? Is it violent if it's in self-defense? That's true.

What if it's in... Is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread for your starving family? I think this is a similar argument. Is it wrong to kill a National Park Service guy if he doesn't let you stand around at a wedding? Exactly. And be petted. And there might be hay. Probably would be hay.

Yeah. You'd get hay. Jordan, what is... Is the hay for them to eat or to sleep on? Yeah. That's what's so great about being a donk. Oh, you eat something and then sleep on it. Can you imagine how great it would be if you could eat your bed?

Yeah. You just sleep in and you wake up in the middle of the night and you're like, I could really go for a snack right now. Hey, I got an idea. Borscht bed. What do you think about that? It's not that hot and borscht. Jordan. What? You just made this the perfect Jordan Jesse Go episode. Jordan what you just made this

the perfect Jordan Jesse go episode you just took this episode from a 7 to an 11 with one bon mot yeah can I go to sleep

please do you gonna finish up the show I'll finish up these telephone calls go to bed hey Jordan hey Jesse this is Kristen from Rochester, New York.

Calling for a momentous occasion. I just found out I'm at a Sky concert, and it's my first one. My friend Heidi and I won tickets on the radio to go see Les Van Dyke, and apparently that's Sky music, and we think it's okay. All right. Bye. See, now sometimes people call in with a momentous occasion that's real and true. Yeah. Sometimes they call in and try andous occasion that's real and true. Yeah.

Sometimes they call in and try and bullshit us. But here's the thing, Jordan. I have a background in criminal investigations. Okay. I can tell when someone is trying to bullshit us. Oh. Well, I mean, the simple answer to that is that the members of Less Than Jacob have all been dead for more than ten years.

But there's a more complicated answer as well. Oh, good. Can't wait to hear this. Where did she say she won the tickets, Encyclopedia Brown? The radio. What genre of music are we talking about? Ska music. Oh.

They don't play ska music on the radio. This is 2008, Jordan. It's crazy. This is 2008. Yeah. This is not 1950s Jamaica. Maybe it was some sort of opening for somebody. Maybe they're opening for

Coldplay. Yeah, they probably are. That's probably what. Coldplay hand selects their opening acts. Yeah, just like Dave Matthews. Precisely. If you're going to see Coldplay, you're getting an experience that's been curated by Chris Martin.

Who knows? One day you might get uh to you might see lupe fiasco sure one day you might get to see a band of bees one day you might see less than jake yeah hey it's matt from brooklyn with a moment occasion um i just saw a blind woman walking to a wall, straight into it. And rather than being amused, I felt really sad, which I think means I just became a grown-up. So, yeah, big deal. All right, bye. You know what that's called, Jordan?

Marketing synergy. Trinergy, Jordan. Trinergy. It's called trinergy. That, Jordan, is what we in the business call a Mobisode. Hi, it's Lauren from Cincinnati. I have been working from home all week and I've been listening to a lot of Jordan and Jesse

Go. That makes this like the bajillionth time that I've listened to every episode and I know that I can only ask so much from you guys as far as output and I thoroughly enjoyed this week's episode but I was wondering if you guys had any recommendations for other podcasts that you enjoy so that maybe I don't seem like a creepy person

who listens to Jordan Bessie go too much. Thanks. Bye. Jordan, I know you're a big fan of Dan Carlin's Hardcore History. I am, yeah. My only complaint is that he doesn't put it out enough. He's not consistent, and he had this new plan for a while to create Blitz episodes, where it was just kind of a shorter, less focused history lesson, but apparently that hasn't been working out too great.

It doesn't sound hardcore enough to me. No, uh-uh. And each of these episodes, you say, would be about the game NFL Blitz? Apparently that hasn't been working out too great. It doesn't sound hardcore enough to me. No, uh-uh. Now this is, and each of these episodes you say would be about the game NFL Blitz? Yeah, yeah. Just like the history of NFL Blitz. Fireball passes. Yeah, fireball pass, big head mode.

Sure. I gotcha. Well, I think, what do you think? She probably wants like entertainment type podcasts, right? Yeah, it sounds like she's working from home. It sounds like, yeah, maybe she wants a podcast that maybe you can put on and you can tune out of for a little bit and then tune back in and not feel like you've missed too much. Here's two podcasts that I'm never afraid to recommend to anyone that are of this sort of fun talking variety. that are of the sort of fun-talking variety. The first is an old standby,

a show that I have been listening to since literally the first episode. Never Not Funny with our friends Jimmy Pardo and Matt Belknap. Never Not Funny, a freewheeling conversation hosted by Jimmy Pardo, who's probably the best host of a thing that exists. When you say you're really hard, do you be hard-pressed to find a better host of a thing than Jimmy Pardo? Yeah, I think a good host, to me, and as a guy who's done a little bit of hosting,

I have to think a lot about the quality that makes a good host, and I think what I've boiled it down to is that a host recognizes how utterly ridiculous it is to host something, but then does it anyways. I think that is a quality that David Letterman has

and also that Jimmy Pardo has. Yeah, and you're creating a good, fun feeling. Sure. You see what I'm saying? Now, Never Not Funny, they're only giving out 20 minutes of each show for free, but it only costs 20 bucks for six months' worth of shows. Absolutely worth it in my book.

We just did the Monsters of Podcasting with You Look Nice Today. That's my other new favorite thing. I just love to death You Look Nice Today. This is a very strange show. What the guys do is basically spin out nonsense scenarios over the course of 45 minutes. Is that a fair description? Also, it comes in in the middle. Yeah, exactly.

You have to figure out what nonsense scenario they were talking about. Yeah, they don't let you make any assumptions. You have to infer here and there. It's not like Law & Order. Sure. Where they're going to serve everything to you on a silver platter, Jordan. You Look Nice Today is a great one. They're at youlooknicetoday.com.

You love the Savage Lovecast, right? Yeah, I like the Savage Lovecast a lot. I love that Dan Savage. He's very funny and very wise. A great combination, funny and wise. And he'll really tell you how to better take it up the ass or something like that. Although occasionally his agenda gets in the way of giving people advice. Yeah, that's true. He'll stop giving people advice in order to Although occasionally his agenda gets in the way of giving people advice. Yeah, that's true.

Sometimes he'll stop giving people advice in order to talk about his agenda, which is a fine agenda. It's a solid agenda. It's a really solid agenda. But oftentimes it veers off giving advice. He should start an agenda cast. Sure. That's why we have agenda casts.

Exactly. If that genre didn't exist, think of what else would be going on you have any other favorites jordan yeah um if you're uh if you're a movie buff i enjoy the weekly film week podcast film week that is put out by uh the public radio station uh here in la uh kpcc and yeah they just have kind of a good uh lineup of movie critics talking about all the movies that week and everybody's pretty goofy and funny uh in like a you know you know one of your smarter uncles kind of way uncles and aunts um yeah it's good and then they'll have and then they'll usually kind of have a longer interview with kind of an interesting film character like you know the guy who made the hunter s thompson documentary or something the film week podcast film week podcast

film spotting another really solid film podcast. You may have heard one of the Film Spotting guys was on the Jordan Jesse Gove six months or so ago. Here's a podcast. This is Sleeper. Okay. I'm saying this because she asked for her personal recommendations. I'm thinking that if she listens to this show, she's already hip to Never Not Funny and You Look Nice Today. It would seem unusual that she wouldn't be. Do you think she's ever heard of something called This American

Life? What's that? Is it something that a baby makes? I don't know. I've been hearing a lot about it. Yeah. I don't know. Radio Labs? Yeah. The Radio Labs? I don't know what that is either. Yeah, me either. But are there I feel like we're giving obvious recommendations.

Are there any like actual sleeper podcasts? Well, this is a sleeper podcast that I haven't heard yet. Okay. But it's by a Maximum Funster. Okay. Two Maximum Funsters, actually. And it's gotten some great reviews on the board, both in the Pod Thoughts column on the Maximum Fun blog

and from several Maximum Funsters on the board. It's called Stop Podcasting Yourself. It's called Stop Podcasting Yourself. So type in Stop Podcasting Yourself. It's one of these two guys talking about stuff podcasts, but several Maximum Funsters have said that they really love it. Oh, the Moth podcast I've also really enjoyed. It's a good one. That's where people talk about, tell a story from their lives.

Yeah, it's this American life-y, but it's all in front of a live studio audience. And pretty often it kind of gets into boring public radio bullshit about, like, people's, like, ethnic grandmothers and stuff. But I'd say every third one is genuinely really funny and interesting. And, yeah, they're nice short grabs. Yeah, absolutely. So that's a good start, right?

We gave our buddies some plugs. I guess. They're great shows. I love their shows. Friends. You know what I mean? Henry Sheehan of henrysheehan.com. I mostly just listen to Nobody Likes Onions.

What's that? I don't know. It's just a podcast that podcast nerds like. Oh, yeah? What's on it? Just some belligerent nerdy guy. I don't know. It's just a podcast that podcast nerds like. Oh, yeah? What's on it? Just some belligerent nerdy guy. I don't know. That sounds pretty good.

Somebody's going to email him and say, Jesse said you were a belligerent nerdy guy. I've never listened to it. You've never listened to it. I've never listened to it. You suspect that it's that kind of thing. Who am I to say, Jordan? Yeah.

I don't really know. But you said it anyway. Yeah. Sure. Well, I mean, if you don't just say stuff, what's the point of having a podcast? No, that's absolutely true. If I thought about the things that I said on this show, Jordan, I wouldn't have all my annoying vocal tics. Oh, yeah.

You know what I'm saying, Jordan? I know. You see where I'm going with this? You're talking about the gurgling. You know what I'm saying, Jordan? You're talking about the gurgling. You know what I'm saying with the annoying vocal tics? Yes.

You got where I'm going with this? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yes, you know what i'm saying with the annoying vocal tics yes you got where i'm going with this yeah you know what i'm saying, love you Love you, love you Love you, love you Love you, love you Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris. Boy detective.

Now, intern Chris screened the calls for this week's program. Yeah. And Chris said that while this call was distinctly not pithy, he said it was a moving and powerful story Wow. that while this call was distinctly not pithy, he said it was a moving and powerful story that we had to hear to believe. Not his exact words. That's a paraphrase. Sure.

That's a paraphrase, Jordan. Jordan, this is part of a segment. So he probably actually said, this call good. Yeah, he did. By paraphrase. He is Canadian, so he does speak in caveman language. Oh, yeah yeah you know how they are up there in the frozen north also just piss all over

everything sentences won't grow there because it's too cold um this is a segment i like to call jordan moments of shame moments of shame uh hi there. Calling for Jordan Jesse Go. Hi, Jersey. Hi, Jordan. This is Mike from New York City, and I have a tale of shame and humiliation kind of based on recent topics that were discussed on the show and recent topics here. Many, many years ago it was decided for my grandfather's 70th birthday to get the family together,

all three of his children and all of his grandchildren, for a family portrait. My uncle and his family was flown in from England as he was in the Air Force. And aunts and uncles and, and again cousins were all together. And something you should know is that I am the tallest member of a very tall family. My mother is six foot. My uncles are all six foot three, six foot four. I'm six foot five. Usually if there's a group portrait, I'm in the back because there's no way that I can be in front. I'm also the oldest at the time.

I was 19 just in college, so I've got that college arrogance into me. And since it was a very hot day in late May, it was over 100 degrees, I wore shorts. So since I was going to be in the back, no one's going to see me. This will be great. So I have the suit and the tie, jacket, and all on the top, but the bottom are just shorts. So we go to the portrait studio, and it's decided that I should be in front. So I am sitting in front. Again, it's just fine, just

tie, jacket, shorts, and the portrait is taken. And, well, something else is, again in college, this is the time when men usually just start to disown their briefs and switch over to boxers, and I, too, was one of those people. And subsequently, in the portrait with me sitting in shorts and the right lighting, you can see the family jewels in the family portrait. Extremely embarrassing. in the family portrait. Extremely embarrassing.

The worst part is this was the only photo that they could use for a number of other reasons, and it couldn't be retaken again because this involved getting people on two continents together. So the picture went through the family, and everyone knows why they had to crop it very strangely. And it's not a very impressive portrait. It's not a very good looking picture because, again, there's some bizarre cropping going on in order to avoid me showing my balls to everyone outside of the family, including the family. me showing my balls to everyone outside of the family, including the family.

And to this day, uncles and aunts and other cousins still are, well, they still hold a grudge and they like to remind me of it. But when we gave the picture to my grandfather, he laughed, which is very important. As a kind of an epilogue, over 15 years later, my grandfather, he has Parkinson's and other short-term memory issues, long-term memory issues. And we'll go through his house, and he'll see the picture, and he'll comment on it. And I'll tell him the story, again, why it looks so weird. And occasionally I'll have to do it twice or three times in a day.

And every single time, he laughs. So there you are. Thanks a laughs. So there you are. Thanks a lot. Talk to you soon. That's optionable. Wow. That's movie optionable, Jordan. That is Tuesdays with Maury for Generation X.

Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah, I like Tuesday with Maury, but I thought it needed more dude's junk. Yeah, exactly. Where's the balls in that story? Am I right? Literally and figuratively. Exactly.

Usually it's just figurative if a Hollywood guy says that, but in this case it's literal and figurative. It needs more balls. It needs more man's balls. That was great. That was really good. Don't you feel like that's a good note to go out on? Why not? Don't you feel like that's just good note to go out on why not don't you feel like that's just a beautiful moment end the show uh we'll see you online for the um first annual maximum fun weight loss challenge uh you put take pictures of yourself being healthy and post them on flickr and uh

send your weight to bugs meanie on the forum he put his he put his email address up there if you're not a member of the forum. You can just surf over to the forum. You'll find it there in the Cornucopia area, Jordan. The Cornucopia area. The theme music of Jordan, Jesse, Go is Love You by The Free Design. I got another email today about

somebody who bought the CD and just loved it so much and they didn't even realize it was a real song until I said it for about the 20, 000th time sure uh love you by the free design it's from their cd the best of the free design which is available on light in the attic records and uh we'll see you online and uh next time on jordan jesse go how's that sound yep bye