Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 680: Reverse Simp with Kate Willett

Episode Date: April 4, 2021

Kate Willett (Dirtbag Anthropology on Audible, Reply Guys podcast) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the differences and similarities between right-wing and left-wing basement boys, the reply guys that Jesse attracted with a recent viral baseball tweet, the adorable kittens (Arthur and Pearl) Kate adopted during the pandemic, and what it was like for Kate to interview her father about masculinity for her new Audible exclusive book, Dirtbag Anthropology. Plus, Jordan sends the Bubble pre-order acknowledgments into turbo mode! Listen to Kate's book Dirtbag Anthropology on Audible!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Holy shit, Jordan, have I got some breaking news for you. This is gonna, this is a fucking, this is a thrill ride that you'll never want to get off of, this news. I'm going to put my arms up in anticipation because I can tell this is going to be a real roller coaster ride. Yeah, you don't have to be psychotic to be on an anti-psychotic, buddy.

I didn't know that. Yeah, I'm not psychotic. I'm on one. Give me that Lamictal. Num, num, num, num, num. This is a real roller coaster ride. I feel like I'm on Viper at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Oh, that's what being on Lamictal feels like.

No, it doesn't. It just supports you if you're suffering from anxiety or depression, which I was. That's nice. So it's working well for you. Yes, it is. It's great stuff. I can't take an SSRI, which is like the normal thing that they give you for depression, antidepressants, because it interacts with my migraine medication. Ooh.

So they said, well, what if we gave you an antipsychotic? I said, hey, pump the brakes, buddy. I call my psychiatrist buddy, by the way. Oh, yeah. Just so you know. That's nice that you guys are so casual. Well, my psychiatrist is Buddy Cole from the Kids in the Hall, the Scott Thompson character. Classic character. The Martini. Great character.

Very funny. Remember when that dinosaur hit on him? It really is a really funny character. It's very funny. Scott Thompson, very nice, very funny man. Look, if you're out there and you are psychotic, definitely go for an anti-psychotic. That's going to help you out. If you're out there and you're not psychotic, I would just say consider it.

You know, take a little taste. See how it works for you. That's my recommendation to you. That's nice. It can be nerve-wracking to try new self-care slash mental health things. Yes. And it helped a lot. As soon as I started taking it, I was like, this is helping. Okay. How long have you been taking said antipsychotic? Months, five, six months, something like that. Four or five months. It's great. Lamictal, recommend it to everybody.

that four or five months, it's great. Lamictal, recommended to everybody. I say, take this thing, it's a real kick in the pants. I mean, Jordan, you saw the movie The Joker, right? Now, have you been tempted to dance on some steps to the classic song Rock and Roll Part 3? I mean, I've danced with the devil in the something moonlight. Pale moonlight. Pale moonlight, I believe. Pale moonlight. There you go. Jack Nicholson's Joker, I believe.

That's his take on the clown prince of crime. Can I tell you something about Jack Nicholson Joker? Yes. I watched that movie. I've not seen the Joker, but I did watch Batman. The 1989 Michael Keaton. Yeah. Which, you know, I saw in 1989 along with the rest of America, but I don't think I had seen it since.

Yeah. And I enjoyed it. It was a fun movie. And Jack Nicholson, it's weird that Jack Nicholson's in there because he's so, like, he's so far past his prime. Like, he's so far past his prime. Like, Jack Nicholson is, and it's not that he didn't do wonderful work afterwards. Like, he did wonderful old man work later. And like, as good as it gets or whatever.

Yeah, sure. Maybe you're talking about my mom's favorite movie about Schmidt. Exactly, about Schmidt. We both love the part when his wife dies and he can't find anything to eat, so he just eats one of those taco shells right out of the box. I mean...

Not as funny as anything has ever been in a movie. Jack Nicholson did great movie starring post-movie star, but what's weird about his role in Batman is that he's 10, 12 years... This is 10 or 12 years after 70s Jack Nicholson, when Jack Nicholson was at the peak of his powers. Right. But he's basically trying to do... Like, he's basically trying to do a 33-year-old's part in a 54-year-old's body.

You know? Like, he's sort of like, he looks a little sick. I mean, I know there are parts where he's wearing makeup, but he just looks a little like out of sorts. And he does a good job, don't get me wrong. It's just weird. It's just a little weird. He's too old. He's too much more famous than michael keaton

um yeah i mean i do think that jack nicholson you know he had his you know he's he's he's the he's the rebel of 70s cinema sure and then you know that period and then batman you know maybe kicked off you know modern jack and for that whole time he has just looked nauseous always looks like a little seasick like maybe he just stepped off a booze cruise the other thing that i didn't remember about this movie at all um is he has jack nicholson has all these uh guys and there's all these policemen. Talking about henchmen? Yeah, talking about the henchmen and the policemen.

Like every single one of the peripheral characters, good or bad in the film, all dressed like leather daddies. Sure. It's just really, you can really hear this on set squeaking. As everyone walks around, just all right, all right. Yeah, before each take, just there was, you know, someone from the makeup department whose job it was to, like, apply baby powder to everyone. It's truly, it is like those, let's see,

Dale of Norway is the guy who makes the sweaters what's the guy who makes the drawings of dudes fucking each other tom of finland tom of finland dale of norway dudes and tom of fin and again i'm i'm only a casual admirer of tom of finland but i don't think the dudes are fucking each other i think they're either about to fuck or have recently fucked i think sometimes they're they're well maybe they're not there's not maybe there's not penetration but there's i think there's at least sometimes tumescence okay you know what you're probably right jesse you're probably right you know we're both right i think if if we're both right if what i if what i just asserted is correct then you're

right that they're not fucking and i'm right that they're basically fucking because they're tumescent. See, and they say that the political parties can't find common ground. Look what we did here. This should be a lesson to our lawmakers. Yes. Americans need relief. If Jesse and I can agree that the men in tom of finland are both fucking and not fucking at the same time it's a it's a cat in a box with a radioactive ion look it's it's

fucking if joe mansion and uh what's the what's senator collins from maine could just become tumescent in each other's presence. Yeah. Just some tumescence. That would be enough. Make America tumescent again. Is that something? Hard to say.

Hard to say. Hard to say. Or semi-hard, semi-hard to say. Half chub to say. Yeah. I mean, it's all,

it's all engorgement isn't it um should we introduce our guest on the program i would love to our guest on the program one of our favorite stand-up comics uh she is also behind uh the new audible original dirtbag anthropology which is a series about investigating dudes. Just checking out what dudes are all about. Turns out we're sort of a B minus at best. She's got some- Not washing our sheets.

Yeah. She's got some friends of this program on that show. W. Kamau Bell's on there, among others. She's also, you know, she's got a stand-up comedy album that's super funny. And she's just a super, she's just really funny. Please welcome to the show, Kate Willett. Hi, Kate. Hi, thank you so much. And I wanted to tell you that I believe that the adjective version is too messed. Thank you. I think so. so yeah kate if you have any other conjugations you'd like to share through the course of the program please do yeah i've been i i took notes

actually on your intro segment because otherwise i think our friend helen zaltzman is going to be firing off angry emails to us yes and i think a big part of our audience is ESL students who are listening to the program to learn English. So it's great that they're learning, you know,

proper conjugation. Exactly. Beer, can I have a beer, please? Yeah, like you can't, you know, I mean, it has to be formal.

Like you can't just, you can't just be like bonerfied or something, right? No. You know, like you need the proper language. We have to use the ustad form? Yes. The ustad form of bonerfied. No, so just bonerfied.

We are all bonerfied. Bono stromos. And that's if you're saying it to your boss now yeah if you're saying it to a small grandma if you're saying it to senator susan collins yes um kate willett how's how's it going for you what's going on you know i've been uh i've been inside for most of this pandemic like the rest of the rest of everybody uh but you know i i wrote this book as you noted uh i adopted two kittens hey i actually was thinking when you were talking about the joker what i had a relationship with a comedian for much of the pandemic and i watched that movie birds of prey they, the Harley Quinn movie.

Have you guys seen that one? I have, yes. I haven't seen it. It's about the Joker's friends. Yeah. So she, at the beginning of the movie, breaks up with the Joker. But all of his enemies are still after her. So she's mourning her relationship with the Joker.

And also, she's running out of the way. And this is me and my ex-boyfriend's reply guys. Like his reply guys are still after me. Oh boy. Yeah. So we're talking black mask. We're talking the court of owls. Cartoon frog wearing Boston Patriots hat.

Exactly. Yeah, a few Pepes. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, not to make you get too deep into this upsetting situation, but what is the nature of these reply guys? Is it Pepe hats? Is it anime avatars what's the what sort of reply guy have you been dealing with can you characterize them um i would say it's like

it's like basement guys from like the left and the right um So again, a theme of coming together. Yeah, bipartisan basement boys. I think there's a definite, yeah, I definitely think that there's a homophobic element that they are harassing my ex-boyfriend because they believe that he is gay and are therefore harassing his ex-girlfriend too. I don't really know how it works.

Yeah, it seems complicated. There's people who are mad at him for being like both uh gay and also woke you know and just for like this entire relationship there were these dudes in my mentions being like you know your boyfriend is gay and he's also woke and i'm just like slow down because these two things are incredible news to me. I'm getting a pen. Yeah. Each of these pieces of information would change a lot for me in both negative and positive ways.

What are the big similarities and differences between a right basement boy and a left basement boy? So, you know, I think we're familiar with with the right basement boy, you know, very like anti-cancel culture, probably pro-Trump, racist. Has opinions about Mr. Potato Head all of a sudden. Yeah. I'm sorry. Potato Head. Yeah. Potato Head X, I believe um is the term right but uh yeah the last basement boy uh may not be like as overly political in many cases but they're like super

against cancel culture too they're just not a republican they just like want to say offensive shit but you know generally you're like it could be they just like want to say offensive shit but you know generally you're like it could be cool if like there was free health care and that's true like it would in my opinion be very cool if there was free health care but it's just more like you know they're just not right wing but they still have a lot of those beliefs sure they're just super mad fans maybe of certain podcasts you know hey there's no reason to shit all over. We got this with Mark and Hal. Two great guys and a great podcast.

I don't imagine they have unappealing fans. I was just picking someone random. Can I just say, Susan Collins, go on Chapo. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Susan Collins, go on Chapo. Harley Quinn, go on Comptown. As long as we're just saying. I'm just saying. Susan Collins, go on Chapo. Harley Quinn, go on Comptown. As long as we're just saying stuff.

We said all the podcasts. We did. We have not said all three podcasts. Yeah. I have had an amazing experience recently with Reply Guys. As a, you know, cishet dude, dude reply guys are not a big part of my lived experience you know relatively speaking can we can i just before we get on with this story i vague reply guy is one of those things that i think i've kind of pretended to know what it means

based on context clues uh kate and and Jesse, if you have any thoughts, can you define reply guy? Because I think my understanding of it is incomplete. Yeah, Kate, you're the expert here as the host of a podcast of that name. Yeah, thank you for calling on my deep knowledge of this matter. I'll run my TEDx talk for you now.

A reply guy is the guy in the replies, generally of a woman, but it can also be the replies of any gender person. A brand, perhaps? replies of of any any gender person sure but a brand perhaps yeah it could be you know it could be but it's usually i feel like with the i feel like the people replying to brands they're not in it for the same reason like the people who are replying to brands you know like if you look on a mcdonald's tweet or something and the people are just like this looks gross or whatever they're not in it to like hurt an individual person you know they're just like they're mouthing off right but they want to hurt all three elves yes exactly but reply guys are like people that get in the replies to like you know just have some sort of interaction

but it's usually an interaction where they kind of want the other person to feel bad in some way, usually. Okay. There are reply guys for good. You know, there's reply guys that type positive things. And I believe in some corners of the internet, those are known as simps.

Yeah. Now, is a simp... I recently learned about soy boys. Is a simp also a soy boy? No. So a simp is... I need to get a pen. I feel really humiliated by the fact that I know all the answers

to these questions. This is educational. Again, ESL students, they need to know this yeah a simp is like a guy that's usually like in the replies of a woman online and he's like being very complimentary to her um you know it to express like a sexual attraction or even just to like suck up to her but like it's, you know, there's an understanding that like it's not like this is going to result in a date or something.

Like the whole interaction is just him praising her online. Okay. Yeah, there is a certain like the reply guy situation, I feel, is about a kind of engagement that is the kind of engagement that a person who has a Twitter account, but very few, I guess what you might call original tweets. Like they'll have a Twitter account that's been open for five years, and you click on their profile and they have like 12

tweets there it'll just be like you know one tweet about uh the series the season finale of Grey's Anatomy or whatever that's probably a bad example and uh and then you click on their mentions and they're doing their their their at messaging people eight times a day. Sure. either it's harassment of some kind, like it's it's like emotional harassment, sexual harassment, like it's bruise poking on the person who's doing it and trying to make the other person feel bad or be horny, but they're doing it by being harassing. Does that seem does that does that ring true to you, Kate? Am I describing? Yeah, I think so. I think that was a really good description. I was like thinking through every aspect of it but yeah you're right definitely

like you look on those accounts and there's like you know there there's no followers in a lot of cases or if any there's you know 30 maybe you know and it's like just all replies and they usually have i feel like another thing is a lot of time it's not like replies to like tons of people they have like three or four maybe even one person that they're really super fixated on yeah i uh in my in my experience when i do come across one of those accounts with like just a lot of replies but that one original tweet that one original tweet i would say in my experience nine times out of ten about a hockey game like some feeling about a hockey game that just happens yeah yeah i think i would broaden

that i would broaden that category and this speaks to what i'm about to address from my own life but i would broaden that category to all what i would call white sports. Like, not just hockey, but also like the Boston Red Sox. That's the main example. Basically hockey and the Boston Red Sox. The experience that I had was I had a sports tweet go viral the other day or a series of sports

tweets, which had never happened to me before. Like usually if I tweet about sports, which I do once in a while, it's met with what can only be described as indifference or perhaps antipathy. You know, like there are one or two sports fans that follow me.

They might, they might see it and reply. Maybe Greg Proops will reply to it. But besides that, it just is sort of me shouting into the void because I'm watching the Giants game. And I happened to be listening to the Giants game the other day, and it was spring training. And as you guys probably know, if at the end of a game the home team is leading, they will not bat in the bottom of the ninth inning because they have already won the game. There's no reason for them to bat in the bottom of the ninth inning because they're ahead. They could only become more ahead. So it's useless.

become more ahead. So it's useless. But in this game, the Giants were winning the game against Cleveland, and the Giants and Cleveland decided to play the bottom of the ninth inning, even though the Giants were ahead. And the reason for this basically was it's spring training, and there was like some pitchers for Cleveland who had come to the game and wanted to get some work in. So they all kind of agreed together. Well, we'll just play an extra half inning just so these pitchers can throw. And the umpires were not having it. The umpires just left and went home because they were like, yeah, I've done my work here. The game is over. I don't I'm uncomfortable. I have to wear this polyester

business suit, um, uh, you know, instead of, uh, shorts, which is what I'd like to be wearing. So they just went home and I tweeted about this, you know, the Giants announcers were saying different funny stuff. Uh, the, the Indians brought in a second pitcher and the Giants announcing crew just decided that they were done, that they weren't going to wait for the second pitcher to come in. So they just started reading the credits. You know, it was it was a fun it was a fun baseball thing. You know, when do you get to hear the scoreboard? The scoreboard, there was a lot of disagreement or confusion for the announcers about who was calling balls and strikes, whether it was the catcher, the batter or the scoreboard operator. So it was, you know, it was just fun and cute.

And it got retweeted by a lot of big baseball accounts. This is a fun little story about baseball. And mostly people replied to it by saying like, see, this is why I love baseball. Or like, that's the magic of spring. Or like, yeah, we do this sometimes in my softball league when we all just want to play ball. You know, that kind of thing. And I also got replies from a lot of guys who almost exclusively had avatars either of Pepe wearing a Red Sox hat or just a white guy in sports sunglasses

wearing a backwards baseball hat in his avatar. These people were angry at the umpires for wanting to go home. These were like anti-union people angry at the umpires for wanting to go home. These were like anti-union people who felt that this was what was wrong with America. Umpires who didn't want to call the bottom of the ninth because they wanted to go have dinner with their family. They wanted to get home to quarantine again, like Libs love.

Yeah. They just hate the crack of the bat. They hate the smell of the grass. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Yeah. They just hate the crack of the bat. They hate the smell of the grass. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, there's apparently the Internet is full of people who are mad about umpires. That is so weird. Yeah. You know, I think, you know, with with with online posting, you want something to be popular. You want it to do well. I think, you know, and I have had very little experience with something you know moving outside of my sphere um i mean you had that toyota thon tweet yeah the closest i've had was something about like you know oh i can't say happy honda days because i might offend someone who would celebrate toyota thon um and that was and i was i was afraid when i saw that starting to get numbers when brag coming in chrissy teigen retweeted it i'm like uh-oh uh because from what i understand the viral tweet can be a millstone around your neck it is you know fun for a thousand and then once you start getting past that right then you get you get the Pepe's, then you get the backwards hat set.

Um, then all of a sudden John legend is that messaging, right? Yeah. Um, I don't need that. Oh, too pretty.

Yeah. But that one, despite it being about, you know, cancel culture shit, people were positive. And I feel like Republican people retweeted it because they thought i was on their side they thought i was legitimately lashing out at the idea that you can't say merry christmas anymore anyway so i i thankfully for whatever reason my one brush with

virality yeah it didn't result in me being like doxed or anything which was really really nice um but from what i understand when you do have that big tweet it is sometimes way more fucking trouble than it's worth the other thing i was struck by as this happened as you know john hayman a baseball writer with nearly a million followers on twitter retweeted my thing about this ball game I was listening to on the radio that I truly expected to get eight likes. You know what I mean? Like, I just thought a few people are listening to the ball game right now, and they also were struck by this. But as this happened, something occurred to me that I often forget about Twitter particularly,

which is, you know, I signed up for Twitter as I bet both of you did 12 years ago or whatever. Yeah. Because I wanted to see jokes that my friends wrote. It was wonderful. It was a machine that delivered me a thing, like a funny thing that Morgan Murphy thought of that didn't fit in her act. That is what I want.

I just want to see a thing that Solomon Giorgio just thought of. You know what I mean? And I forget often that there are people who use it for anything other than that. Like truly anything other than that is completely confusing to me emotionally, culturally as a use for Twitter. Like I remember the first time that I went to a public radio conference and they were, I went to a panel on social media and they were talking about people using Twitter for news. And I like truly wanted to raise my hand and said, I think you're thinking of the newspaper.

Twitter is for reading jokes that your friends thought of. I might push back a little on you, Jesse. I think you're a guy who uses Twitter for feelings and takes. Once in a while, a little bit. I mean, it's changed over time. I feel weird and embarrassed about it. And that's not bad. I'm not like calling you out. I think it's good.

It's healthy that you talk about feelings and takes on Twitter. I think it's good. I think it helps people. I think you sharing your emotional experiences helps people. But I think saying that you're just a Twitter joke guy is – that's – No, no. I don't think – We're about eight years away from that, honestly. But that's what I – I still in my heart want that from twitter i think there's one so you want to be the guy that does the feelings and you want no one else to do it yeah more or less yeah i mean here's here's the the main thing that i will share uh a take about um you know i'll make a stupid joke about something but uh the main thing i'll share a take about is once in a while uh you know a heartless a heartless monster will tweet some shit about me about the fact that one

of my kids is transgender and i decided long ago that my strategy for that um because there was a period where a lot of them a lot of people were doing that because this comedian went insane and became a like, I want to say a parlor celebrity, but this was pre parlor. Like he got kicked off of most of the social media platforms, but still had a loyal army of followers. But that was years ago now, like it doesn't happen very often and i was like my strategy for this is if someone says some shit to me about my kid uh like i will not get in a fight with them because they're bananas like there's no i'm not going to convince them on twif they're like far enough gone that they're that they're harassing me

major american celebrity jesse thorne um there's no like convincing them but i think like you know a lot of people have have you know gender non-conforming kids in their life or they're just kind of curious about what the deal is with that or whatever, you know, people just don't know a lot about it. And so I will like retweet and explain what the actual thing is, right? Like I'll say like, well, actually, kids don't get hormones, they get hormone blockers that forestall puberty so that they can decide what they want to do with their bodies when they're a little older. And, you know, it's a lot better to decide that when you're 15 or 16 than when you're 10 or 11. And, you know, I'll do that. But that happens so infrequently now that the right-wing people

bother me on Twitter. Mostly communists bother me on Twitter. Really? Mostly it's communists. Commun people bother me on Twitter. Mostly communists bother me on Twitter. Really? Mostly it's communists. Communists bother you on Twitter? Yeah, Twitter communists are super mad at me because I'm a capitalist. That's why. I mean, I can't say,

I don't know to what extent I'm a capitalist ideologically, but definitely practically. Kate, you have positive experiences with Twitter communists. Well, I was just thinking about it because, no, it just surprises me that communists would bother Jesse because I feel like you're not, you know, there are like Twitter enemies of the left, right?

You know, like people who are like, who go on there and are like, actually, Andrew Cuomo is good. You know? Right. And Jesse's definitely not one of those people. Sure. Yeah. Noted Cuomo-sexual. Yeah.

Jesse Thorne. Hey, guys. I do consider myself a Cuomo-sexual. A Mario Cuomo-sexual. Thank you very much. Yeah. I mean, definitely his dad was a lot better um yeah very eloquent speaker yeah uh but no i don't know i mean i think with the it's it's not like there's you know like we were mentioning reply guys it's it's an apolitical distinction like there could be communist reply guys there could be fascist reply guys Reply guys, it's an apolitical distinction. There could be communist reply guys.

There could be fascist reply guys. It's a certain kind of lonely meanness that is a bummer. And I think you're absolutely right. Maybe it probably filters a little more towards the edges of the left and right. Like I think if you, if you got an extreme personality, it might be more attracted to extreme or more extreme ideologies. But like,

there's definitely this for whatever, you know, Joe Biden or whatever, like by no means is it, is it just, uh, uh, is it just people who, you know, voted for Lyndon LaRouche or whatever.

There's for sure like, no, there's extreme centrist reply guys. Extreme centrism. Yeah. I'm mentioning that because that's- There's a lot of great ideas out there. Yeah. That's who yells at me a lot of the time. Um,

and I just, there's something that I think is so funny about that. Like devoting your life to being a reply guy, to be like, I want things to stay more or less the same and maybe get a little bit better slowly. And I'm yelling at you about it. You know,

like to devote yourself to that. I'm an advocate for balance. And it does seem like with both of these camps, like there is the far left basement boy, there is the far right basement boy, and they are about a year from becoming the other one, like in either way, in either direction. They each contain the potential to become the other one like in either way in either direction they each contain the potential to become the other one yeah you'll see whenever i see one of these you know like if you

go on reddit amas or something like that and somebody says they like got converted from being like a racist monster or whatever like nobody is ever like i was i was a racist monster or whatever. Like nobody is ever like, I was, I was a racist monster, but now I'm more like a Romney Republican. Like I believe in capitalism, but I'm also like have sincere faith. People drawn to extremes. Yeah.

Would you guys mind if i did a full fucking pivot and asked kate to back up and talk about the cat she just adopted yeah i think that's a good idea oh sure yeah you can actually see one yeah we're zooming right now and there has been some cat action during this discussion the jumps and leaps happening in the background here. I feel bad because there's just no way to get them to completely not make noise. I have them in here

so you might hear a tiny little meow here and there. I have and they've been cute. I've loved all of them. If I lock them out as I have previously tried to do in recording then they just yell the entire time and it messes up the audio way more so i'm like messes up or makes better but no they're they're like oh my gosh he's being so cute so what's happening is he's laying on his

back by the door and uh the boy cat his name's albert he's like a little bit fat he's not like you know he's not enormous or anything but he has a big big belly and he like passes out on his back with like his paw over his eye like he's like a fainted southern bell and he's so funny and then he has a sister um who is pearl um and it's funny because albert has the personality of like a baby and a puppy and pearl has the personality of a little queen like albert leaps on top of me every day when i wake up sometimes tries to lick my face like he's a dog i always push him off and stuff because he's a little sandpaper cat tongue and it's weird uh yeah but he's he's like a full-on puppy he like fetches he plays fetch which is really weird for a cat

and um pearl just thinks that she owns everything in the whole house. She's like so, I don't know. She's a little queen. I'm not laughing at something you're saying. I'm just laughing because the cat's doing funny stuff. They're doing some fun stuff behind you. They always do weird stuff all day. They've been kind of a lifesaver in quarantine. I wasn't really a super hardcore pet person.

But if you don't have anyone to hang hang out with they're so great you know yeah i have gone from i have definitely gone from normal pet weirdo to fucking turbo pet weirdo like yeah totally yeah i am and you know you got that you got that six button genesis controller exactly i know you can put on the switch where you just have to hold down the button instead of push the button repeatedly for rapid fire action. I know. Yeah, I have. Yeah, I have like evolved.

I have I have Dragon Ball Z powered up into like a fully like picking up the cat and doing a ballet. Yeah. Do you like tell like when you talk to someone that you haven't talked to in a while and you're catching up? Are you at the level of power to where you're like talking about what the pets have been doing lately yes and there's like there's outdoor cats too that i now know very intimately there's like strays that i'll feed and like i i update people about them i'm like well noodle came at noon yesterday and he usually comes at 10 a.m so i was worried about him him. And it's just like, fuck, I'm so, ah! My transition into regular life

is going to be fucking disastrous. You're basically a grizzly man right now. Yeah, I know. Werner Herzog is going to have to watch video of me doing baby talk to my cat and he'll refuse to show it because it's just too horrific. Yeah, listen, I'm looking forward

to a post-vaccine world, as we all are, but I might not be able to cope. This might be an old man who hangs himself as soon as he gets out of Shawshank situation. Jordan was here. I'm just going to carve it into a beam. Kate, I have a question for you. So you broke up with your gay boyfriend during quarantine, but your book, your Audible original, Dirtbag Anthropology, is about the journey through dudes that you have gone on in the past, I guess,

couple of years, something like that. I remember this in your comedy a few years ago. So you had like a long-term relationship with a woman, then got out of that relationship and just like felt like dating dudes and had to come to terms with dude-dom? Yeah. So I actually had a relationship with, I was married to a woman and that was actually a little while ago now. I was really super young, you know, so that was, I don't know,

let's say for entertainment industry reasons, six months ago. But you could play five months ago yeah exactly um but the book is about um it's a it's about like masculinity and how i feel like ideas of masculinity have like influenced my life and also my relationships with men, but not in a solely romantic context. Like there's a whole chapter about online. There's a chapter about my dad and I got to interview him. There's a chapter about evangelical Christianity. So it is like there is definitely everything.

Yeah, no, there is. There is some romantic stuff, but it's not like it, it's a book about all different kinds of relationships. There's one chapter about how much you hate those fucking umpires. Yes, exactly. There's a chapter just about baseball. Lazy union slobs. They think they're so fucking fancy with their polyester suits. Yeah.

They're special chest protectors. What did you ask your dad when you interviewed him? So I asked my dad a lot of questions about the way that he was feeling about things when I was growing up, like the events that I remember being really hard for my family. I, you know, obviously was a child. And so, you know, I had my own, like reaction to, you know, my dad just like, I mean, yeah, typical stuff. Like, why is this guy so mad? Or like, why do we have these rules you know but I got to ask my dad a lot of things about like what his like emotional life was at that time like what he was thinking and feeling and who he was relying on during hard times and if it like felt stressful

to like you know have his work stuff going on while my family was dealing with various various medical things and just kind of trying to get like his you know his experience but also like kind of figure out what it was like for him to be a dad you know like to raise me and my brother um so it was cool it was actually like a really good conversation that I probably wouldn't have had if there wasn't like a reason for it. But I'm really glad we did. What did he say when you're like, this is for a book? My dad was actually really down, which surprised me because my dad is like incredibly shy. He's an incredibly shy man.

incredibly shy. He's an incredibly shy man. And when I pitched this book, we're talking about like all different people in my life that I could potentially interview. And my editor and I were like, you know, do you think your dad would do it? And I was like, maybe but kind of like knowing in my head that he would say no and that like just by asking I would be doing my due diligence but I put off asking him for months because I just I thought my dad would be like nervous if I even asked but he was actually super down he was like incredibly open just very honest about everything and it's just like i don't know it was it was kind of confusing honestly because my dad is just like he's so like he's probably you know 65 now and um just kind of you know from like a very like baby boomer like dude eats dinner at the counter and then goes in the garage kind of like sure yeah not not full-on like greatest generation shit where you know it's like like he didn't fight

a war or anything you know but there is definitely like my dad is not a man who ever went to therapy for example right you know like there's not really like a pattern of emotional openness at all and so the fact that he was willing to be emotionally open and that also it was in a recorded interview for like mass consumption it really blows my mind but i think he wanted to be supportive of the thing that i was doing and i also think that he wanted to say this stuff to me and that maybe like having a reason to have a conversation about feelings might have been an easier way for my dad to do it than if i was just like hey can we please sit down and talk about feelings you know yeah i maybe my guess would be it's like and i

think we all probably struggle with this to a certain degree of like you know our our family members know that you know we work in like entertainment or media but because our media world is so different from theirs they think we're failing at all times, which is only occasionally true. But, you know, like but I but I think like a book is one of those things that like dad would understand a book in a store, you know, like that. I think that has a kind of like a legitimacy that even though like more people might ingest it via podcast or something like that the the the book makes it more serious to a dad i mean my mom thinks that i'm successful because she knows that i've met peewee herman oh sure that is her standard for success in show businesses have you met peewee that's her exclusive understanding of show business post 1970 or so uh she would also have accepted i have

been in the parliament funkadelic mothership those are like the two standards for who kate that you talk to about masculinity what dude that you talk to were you most surprised by their perspective uh let me think okay um i guess like the overall thing that was surprising to me is like for every guy that i talked to like every single guy had spent a lot of time thinking about the question of like what masculinity was and like what it was supposed to be and like whether or not he was living up to it and if it was like a harmful thing because i feel like i don't really hear men like publicly discussing this question a lot in the same way that you'll see like you know feminists online talking about it or whatever but i guess the thing that surprised me in general was, yeah, just like how much thought everyone had given it.

Jordan, I don't know if this is something you've thought about. I certainly have. To me, I think masculinity is mostly about what the best type of fighting is, like fighting system. Like whether a boxer could beat a karate guy in a fight. Sure, right. You know what I mean? Right. Or just like what are the best weapons?

Like in an octagon situation. Like a katana. Who would emerge victorious. Yeah, and at the end of the day, it's the guy with the net and the trident. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that's your guy. Put your money on that guy, because he can wrap you up with the net and then poke you with the trident. And he starts stabbing, then the stabbing begins.

Yeah, you got it. And then there's trouble. I mean, I don't know if this guy can take a lion, but maybe. Yeah. But don't count out the classic ninja. I mean, I don't know if this guy can take a lion, but maybe. But don't count out the classic ninja. Sure. That guy's going to sneak right the fuck up on you before he starts stabbing. See, Kate, we can have mature conversations about masculinity. You were saying that maybe.

Yeah, you think this only happens in Bitch Magazine? No, it also happens here. The real issues. Yes, getting down to it. Let's take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Go. It's Jordan, Jesse. Go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan Jesse Goh is, of course, supported by the people who've gone to MaximumFun.org slash join. We call those the members of Maximum Fun, and we are always grateful. We love them. Each and every single one of them. We love them. We want to hug them if that's okay with them.

Yeah. And okay with dr fauci sure those are the two things people we're going to check in with first we're going to check in with them then we're going to check in with dr fauci text him if everything's okay we can get our hug on it's cool he's one of those guys that texts back that's nice that's nice you feel like he cares what you had to say. Yeah, that's good. It's not like one of those four hours later situations.

Yeah, it's okay. We know you saw it, man. You know. He goes, I was in a movie. We're like, you were not in a movie. You have red receipt. You were not in a movie. You have red receipt on Fauci.

You live in Washington, D.C., and you are Dr. Fauci. Thank you. You are not in a movie. Thank you. Okay? and you are Dr. Fauci. Thank you. You are not in a movie.

Thank you. Okay? This week, it is also our friends at Season 6 of Fortnite. It says in the... Here's the thing. This is the mistake

that our friends at Season 6 at Fortnite made. We're grateful for their support. We're going to talk about some of the great things that happened in Season 6 of Fortnite. But one of the options is that we can feel free to ad lib based on our experiences with

Fortnite or video games in general, which is just an invitation for me to talk about Seaman, the Dreamcast game, where there was a fish with a face on it that you talked to through a microphone in the controller. Listen, it's basically impossible to get a copy of Seaman for the Dreamcast, but very easy to download Fortnite, a very, very fun video game that I have enjoyed myself. And season six is upon us. If you play Fortnite or know anything about it,

you know that the storyline evolves with every season, and it's better than ever. Whether you're playing Battle Royale daily or hopping in for special events in Party Royale, the island changes with every season and it's better than ever whether you're playing battle royale daily or hopping in for special events in party royale the island changes with every development that gets thrown at us now the island has grown wild so must you yeah battle the wildlife and craft your weapons experience the zero crisis finale in game now and pick up the season six battle pass to run wild across primitive

landscapes with laura croft teen titans raven oh my gosh i didn't know about that cool yeah and agent jones hey jordan have you heard about season seven of fortnite no what's gonna happen young sheldon oh my gosh you can play his playable character i can't wait to blow up young sheldon. Oh my gosh. You can play, he's a playable character, Young Sheldon. I can't wait to blow up Young Sheldon. Oh, it's going to be fantastic. Go to fn.gg slash season six to see it all. That's fn.gg slash season six. I think this is going to be a lot of fun here at fn.gg slash season six. Our good friends at season six of Fortnite. Probably the best season so far, I would argue. Yeah, I think so too.

I didn't know they were putting in Lara Croft and Raven from the Teen Titans. That's cool. All the special characters they do in Fortnite are super sweet. Season one of Fortnite was really good because it still had Diane. Jesse, you're thinking of Cheers oh okay sorry sorry yeah okay there was a cheat code to unlock carla though i always play this i always played his coach yeah carla was op devs please nerf nerf. Nerf Carla. Nerf Carla. F and GG.

Now I really want to play this, Jordan. Let's write them a letter. They're kind enough to sponsor our podcast. We can give them our free ideas. Yeah. Dear Fortnite, I know you have access to basically the biggest properties in all of pop culture. It's time to get Cheers characters into Fortnite and make sure Carla is OP. If you can't get Cheers, that's all right.

Just get Taxi. Okay? Taxi's good enough. We all want to be Latke in Fortnite. We all want to be Latke in Fortnite. We all want to be Judd Hirsch. At the end of the day, Generation Z just wants to be Judd Hirsch. We're also this week supported

by the good folks at Libby, which is a free reading app that lets you borrow e-books and audio books from your library on your phone, tablets, Kindle, or computers. All you need, Jordan, is one of these library cards. phone tablets kindle or computers all you need jordan is one of these library cards yeah i listen if you're listening to this show i know you got a freaking library card so why don't you just download libby just download libby but hey

there's even a caveat here this doesn't apply to anyone in our audience but it does say that even if you don't have a library card currently you you can read samples of any book you see. So that's nice, but that's not for anybody listening to this show. Can I say something, Jordan? I had presumed, and I talked about this in past shows, I had presumed that most of our listeners were librarians. I, of course, am the owner of Maximum Fun. I commissioned some audience data surveying. That's cool.

And I want to correct what I said because I got it very wrong. I said that a lot of our listeners, most of our listeners were librarians. A small portion of our listeners are librarians. The rest are libraries. They're buildings. Yeah. Institutions, really. Thank you for listening, buildings.

More than just a building. That's true. You know, it's what it means to the community. Right. It's a place for people to gather and pursue knowledge. We thank libraries and we thank Libby. Libby is a symbol. It's just like using your library. You just check out the books, but you could do it on your Kindle. You could do it

on your computar. You could do it on your tablets. Yeah, you simply borrow available books you want to read, and then they return themselves automatically after your loan expires. That's going to save you money on late fees. jordan who are you moses all right okay download liby in the apple app store or the google play store to start borrowing and sampling ebooks and audiobooks today we're also supported this week by our friends at Magic Spoon. Dadgummit, Jordan. What, Jesse? I just ran out of Magic Spoon. I also just ran out of Magic Spoon, and I'm bummed.

I'm cranky. I'm cranky because I don't have any Magic Spoon on hand. I was so happy eating that Magic Spoon. It was so good. I really got into eating the Magic Spoon. I already said peanut butter is my favorite, but then I was eating the frosted. The only one I didn't eat was, I didn't eat the cocoa one because I try and avoid chocolate and my wife was munching it. And I only ate some of the fruit one because my kids were so into it. But I was loving the peanut butter. And then when

I finished the peanut butter, I went all the way through the frosted. Yeah, Magic Spoon is so great. These days, I just have an insane sweet tooth. It rules my life, basically. And having some Magic Spoon on hand has been so great because it helps you cut down on carbs, sugars, unhealthy foods, because it has zero grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and only four net grams of carbs, and only 140 calories in each serving. So it is a great alternative to snacking on something that is way worse for you. What's nice about it is it's enough protein in there to make you feel satisfied.

Right. And I find that it has, in addition to tasting great, I'm really impressed at how like exactly right for what I want out of a breakfast cereal the texture is. Like it is the just the right amount of crunchy in my milk. I love it. Yeah. Very good. It's great. Keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb, and GMO-free. They've got a bunch of great flavors, the ones we mentioned, but now they've got some limited-edition flavors, cookies and cream, and maple waffle.

Or you build your own box. There's cocoa, fruity, frosted peanut butter, and cinnamon. So just build your box with the flavors you like the most. They have all been very tasty in my experience. Go to magicspoon.com slash JJGO to grab the new limited edition cookies and cream maple waffle or a custom bundle of cereal to try it today. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product. It's backed with a 100% happiness guarantee.

So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Be sure to use our promo code JJGO at checkout to save $5 off your order at magicspoon.com slash JJGO. Use that code JJGO to save $5. Our thanks to Magic Spoon. We've also, Jordan, got something up on the Jumbotron here. Yeah.

It's from Aunt Goody. Aunt Goody is an online shop started by Max Funster, Nancy Martira in 2020, who wanted to help parents and chosen family find awesome gifts for kids to keep them creatively engaged during this suck-ass year.

That is the copy. That is not me editorializing. The copy says it was a suck-ass year. Jordan, I think this is not going to be a controversial evaluation of the past year. Aunt Goody, we believe that every toy is for everyone. There's no gendered language, and fun-loving adults may want to scoop up a giant coloring poster for themselves. Visit AntGoodie.com and Max Funsters get 20% off their first order when they enter promo code MaxFun20 at checkout. Shop now at AntGoodie.com to deliver fun.

You know, Nancy really is a very long-time Max Funster. Like one of the true OGs. Yeah. And she was kind enough to send a big box of stuff to my house for my kids to play with. My daughter went straight to the shark necklace kit. Okay. Which helps you make a shark necklace. Cool.

She went ahead and made a shark necklace for her shark. I'm sure the shark is very happy for that. Yeah. We've also got a message up on the Jumbotron for Chris Plowman from Amanda. It says, happy birthday to Chris, my best friend and a loving dog dad to Beef and Bagel. Excellent dog names. Very good. Really premium dog names. Very good dog names. And thank you for taking all three of us on our government-mandated walks. It's been a long year, but I'm lucky to have spent it with you. It's beautiful.

Really beautiful. Isn't that sweet? You know what, Jordan? This is such a beautiful, loving message that I called in a favor. Hello, Chris! It's me, Dr. Fauci! Amanda wants you to know that you're last

on the list for a vachine except for podcasting. Jordan, you'll never get one of my vachines. Oh man, I want it! This is a Trix Rabbit situation. Go to MaximumFun.org. Avoid the fouch.

Go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Will it, will it. Nice. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. You know what? You know what, Jordan? I'm going to pull back the curtain for a second. We often forget to give people Ed Baines' notice. Oh, I'm changing in here. Sorry, you said you were pulling back the curtain. Oh, sorry. Oh.

Why are you changing on stage in between acts of the show? My balls. Oh. My balls have been exposed um i went what surprises me to be to me about this situation jordan besides the fact that you're changing on stage between acts of the show is that only your balls have been exposed so what is protecting the rest of your of your intimate anatomy a garbage bag oh oh wow a whole like the kind that you put in a waste paper basket or or a or a kitchen bag or one of those big contractor bags. Oh, no. Okay.

Okay, well, I mean, we've gotten an explanation for that whole situation. I'm glad. Now it's clear. What I was going to say is that right before, we often forget to tell people before they come on the show or at the beginning of the show. And so we will usually remember to just mention right before they have to say a nickname that they have to say a nickname. And that's fine. But what I said to Kate Willett is, I said, once Jordan says his name and his dumb nickname, you can say your name and your dumb nickname. And don't worry what it is. You know, no one will judge you for it.

People will just think it's fine. But the honest truth is, Kate, people are going to judge you. And people are going to judge you as a champion. Because Little Skillet Willett is a championship level nickname. You're in the pantheon with that time Eliza Skinner's nickname was Clankety Car. Clankety Car, I love it. Is there precedent for Little Skillet? That sounded like maybe that was something from your past.

Yeah, sometimes people called me skillet in elementary school ah yeah but they called you big skillet so this is like no just skillet yeah but then i just i cooked with a little skillet today so i just was thinking about it yeah sometimes those little pans can be really useful yeah what what were you making one? No, I was making a few eggs. Yeah. Just a few sprinkles of eggs. Sorry, Kate. Your cats are really funny.

There's a real cat battle going on behind Kate. Oh, my God. Oh, man. Oh, jeez. Oh, now they're grooming each other. Oh, man. That's Albert and Pearl. Yeah.

You obviously can't see on Zoom, but they're like just wrestling on top of the dresser. They're fun. They're really fun. What just fell off? What happened was one pushed the other one off. It's like maybe a five foot tall dresser. Podcast audience, you are missing out. I think that if these two could team up, you are missing out. Yeah. I think that

if these two could team up, and they're brother and sister, you know, I think they probably fight, but then they have their intimate moments, too. Yeah, they're so snuggly together. I think if they could team up, they could take the net guy with the trident. Sure. And then

maybe snuggle him afterwards. Do a little grooming. Social grooming. So beautiful him afterwards, do a little grooming, social grooming. So beautiful. Kate, on our program, we have a long history of beloved signature segments. We're full of creativity and always prepare for the show. So we've asked people to call us and let us know what segment they're calling in for, uh, and then say their thing for that segment. Um, this is one call like that, uh,

that we have listened to and decided if it's good. And we just work really hard on the show. Um, Brian, go ahead and play whatever the call is. Hey, Jordan, Jesse,

Sonny D and guest. This is Luke calling from Boston. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, Sunny D, and guest. This is Luke calling from Boston to participate in your long-running segment, Disgraced Weatherman. So today, my disgraced weatherman is actually a guy that works at the car dealership where I also work. And I found out that back in 2001, he got arrested after trying to sell fake Jimmy Buffett concerts, Jimmy Buffett concert tickets. And he tried to sell them to two undercover cops. And when the cops arrested him, he also had pot and Oxy. And now he sells luxury vehicles.

Love the show. Yeah, that's really great. That's really terrific. I'm going to call dibs on writing that AMC series. So nobody else can call it. I love it. Yeah. Do you think the cops legitimately thought they were buying Jimmy Buffett tickets?

When they got there, I'm like, I'm going to arrest that asshole. The scenario you're imagining, Jordan, is that rather than these cops running some kind of sting operation, this is like one of those things where a fight breaks out in a bar and then somebody in the bar says, hey, I'm a cop. Right. This is some cops were hanging out together. First of all, just socially. Just being buds. I mean,

cops can be buds too. ACAB, all cops are buds. Yeah, exactly. Yes, 1312. Yeah. So these cops are buddies. And they're parrot heads they decide to buy tickets to jimmy buffett's concert like all parrot good parrot heads would do you know they're gonna go have a hamburger and cheeseburger in paradise right so they call They call the local weatherman Stormy Mountains.

Sure. And they say to him, do other cities have weathermen with weather-themed imaginary names, or is that just Los Angeles? I've never heard of it before. Yeah, we have too, and I don't know if they're still employed. And it's been sticking in Jesse's craw for years. So we at one point had a Johnny Mountain and a Dallas Rains. And I don't think either of, I think Dallas Rains is still out there. I think I've seen Dallas Rains recently.

Johnny Mountain, unfortunately, was caught trying to sell some Jimmy Buffett tickets to some undercover cops. Right, yeah, he had oxy yeah i don't know i don't know if i would love to know if people want to want to get at us on the social media if you had a local weatherman with a crazy nom nom de cloud yeah i'm also always interested to hear what the best names in minor league baseball are. But it's always Sicknarf Loopstock, by the way. His father was named Francis. So they sold the tickets to, they bought the tickets from the weatherman,

discovered them to be fake, then went to arrest him, and he had some Oxycontin on him. I like this a lot. This is a lot of fun. It does seem like auto sales is like one of the places you can go when you've been disgraced too like car dealership i feel like everyone when i go to a car dealership i'm like it would make sense for you to have been

disgraced out of another profession right these are like these are like pastors who fucked other pastors yes they were boning together yeah at a jimmy buffett concert or whatever sure can you be okay i'll tell you what i was gonna ask but i know the answer to my question i was gonna say can you be disgraced as a comedian because it seems like by being a comedian you are already somewhat disgraced but then i thought about it and i realized yeah um if you have what if you do sex with kids or and you know anything like that you're disgraced yeah it's got to be like nine or ten out of ten yeah yeah but i. But I have to say, I feel like in 2001, this whole thing makes a lot of sense. In 2020, even with, and you guys know how I feel about the rise of cancel culture.

Sure, yeah. Potato X and everything. But I think in 2020, my local well first of all I'm impressed at any local weatherman who still has a job the fact that the news is still on television at 5 o'clock is amazing to me but if you're a local

weatherman hey shout out to CBS 2's Danielle Gersh absolutely doing great work out there figuring out if, you know, the people at the car wash steal something from your car when you're using the car wash. The investigators don't also do the weather, Jesse.

It's a whole different team. You don't know anything about local news. This is 2020. Revenues are tight. They all have to do everything. Yeah. So, well, maybe they're investigating the weather, seeing what the fuck it's up to. Sure, yeah.

Is it charging you? Is it overcharging you for weather stripping? If a local weather person was selling counterfeit tickets and then they found out they had a few trees on them and a couple oxys, I mean, people might be concerned about opioid addiction, but besides that, I think they would just think it was a cool weatherman. It would probably have to be a different act that they were selling tickets to. Yeah.

Yo-Yo Ma or something. Something edgy. Wynton Marsalis. Okay. Thanks for that call when something momentous happens to you 206-984-4FUN

like maybe you get a sweet pair of tickets to see the great Jimmy Buffett uh 206-984-4FUN or send us a voice memo at jjgo

at maximumfun.org here is one such person okay I have to whisper this because I'm at work. I work at the post office and someone just texted over the PA back here.

I need help. Baby chickens have escaped. There's a crate of baby chickens and they're running around the post office and everyone's trying to grab them. Bye. There's baby chickens running around the post office, guys. guys oh man yeah i have so many questions who was trying to mail the baby chickens they bought them there there's one of these uh one of these pirate radio stations based in mexico with the with the 100 000 watt broadcast tower

selling baby chicks over the radio this This is a thing, guys. Is it really? I'm just going to go ahead and call dibs on writing this AMC show. When you say AMC show, you mean Impractical Jokers segment? Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. I mean, I think I could. I'd like to see the boys' take on this.

Are they going to try and catch all them fucking chickens? Yeah, you. I mean, I think I could... I'd like to see the boys' take on this. Yeah. Are they going to try and catch all them fucking chickens? Yeah, you know it. Also, did they pass the civil service exam so that they could get jobs at the post office? Those would be the practical jokers, Jesse. Somebody gets a nice government job. This is good insurance. Yeah.

We're not like those other guys. We have a fallback plan. We're just full bros from Long Island who all have fallback plans. I'm going to work with my dad. I love the post office, man. I used to go to this post office by my house when I lived in San Francisco in the Western Edition. There was this, I used to have to go to Civic Center to go to the post office.

And the Civic Center post office in San Francisco was just, it was just a fucking panoply of humanity. Just people mailing basketballs that just had stamps attached right to the basketball it was just wonderful just a pleasure and a joy like i always like talking to a post office employee i just i like to talk to the mail carrier i like to talk to the clerk uh they're always really lovely but that one was was really great because no matter when I went in there, there was one person there like, you know, wearing a t-shirt. So the neck of the t-shirt was around their head like a hat.

So it looked like long, beautiful flowing hair. And they were mailing a fireplace poker wrapped in electrical tape. You know what I mean? And they're like, well, how much extra would it cost for priority? Yeah, I think in this day and age, if you're at the post office, there's a story behind it, you know? Something happened.

If you don't have that Indicia account. You don't have stamps.com. Right. Kate, great segue, because... Do you need a new mattress? Yeah. Did you guys have like a relative or a person in your life that had access? And I'm talking about in the 1980s and 1990s that had access to a franking machine who could frank for you.

What's franking? Like you could give them some mail. It was like the equivalent of stamps.com before there was internet. Like if you worked at a big business, you had a machine that printed postage directly onto envelopes. Oh, yeah. My mom's office had one of those. Yeah, I remember.

Yeah, I remember. Did you backdate so many college applications? I think by the time I was going to college, I didn't have one anymore. Yeah. That was like when I was tiny, tiny, I didn't have one anymore. Yeah. That was like when I was tiny, tiny. I'd love to have a franking machine. My dad's office had a computer with battle chess. So that was pretty big.

Oh, shit. That's what's up. Yeah, it was like a computer chess game, but when you would take the other player, there would be like a fight animation. Really great. Yeah, I think probably the only thing better than that would have been if they had base wars oh sure yeah a lot of a lot

of great a lot of great games from that era god yeah we should take some time to remember our favorites uh well remember do you remember when the yeti would pick his teeth after he ate you in Ski Free? Sure. It was a real fuck you to the user. You know what I mean? I do. He already got eight. Now he's picking his teeth with a tree branch?

Come on. That was really good. Video games never got better than that. They never got better than that. Nothing. What could be better than sometimes you hit a bump? You know what I mean? Yeah.

Other times there's a bush there. Okay. 206-984-4FUN. JJ Go at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

Now, Jordan Morris, my friend Jordan. Yep. You have a book about to hit store shelves. That's true. It can be pre-ordered right now. July 13th, it's Bubble, the graphic novel, a sci-fi comedy, co-written with the great Sarah Morgan, who is a frequent guest on this show, comedy uh co-written with the great sarah morgan who is a frequent guest on this show and tony cliff the famous comic book artist who is great colors by natalie reese a great comics artist in her own right um we're very excited and uh a lot of folks have been pre-ordering it at their

local indie bookstores and comic book stores and as as I have pledged, I am shouting them all out on this show to throw a little shine onto these great institutions. And I know this segment is going great. People love it. People can't wait for the latest installment of here are some local indie bookstores where people can pre-order Bubble. But this week something happened um that i thought was interesting so i'm like let's let's kick this segment up a notch emerald style you know what i'm talking about my friend pow so let me read i'm gonna read the uh the local indie bookstores where i've i've received one person telling me they've ordered from it and and then I'll get to our kicked up portion. Here we go. Torpedo Comics in Orange, California.

My sister lives there. A Torpedo Comics? She does. Is this like that guy who lived at Three Rivers Stadium? Yeah, she was. No, it was the vet in Philadelphia. Excuse me. She lives in the back room.

Do not tell the building inspector. It is not zoned for an apartment, but she lives there. Yeah. She lives in the City of Orange. Sarge's Comics in New London, Connecticut. Murder by the Book in Houston, Texas. Changing Hands in Tempe, Arizona. The Book Loft in Columbus, Ohio.

Terrace Books in Brooklyn. Downbud Books in Cincinnati, Ohio. Pegasus Books. Jordan, I'm sorry to interrupt you. It's just that I said, I alluded to this story about a guy who lived at Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia. It was an amazing story. People should Google it and read it. And initially, I said Three Rivers Stadium, which is, of course, in Pittsburgh. And then I compounded my error by suggesting that no one lived at Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh. I want to clarify that utility man Lloyd McClendon did, for a time, live at Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh.

Thank you for setting the record straight. With his life partner, catcher Don Sluggo Slott. Thank you for setting the record straight. With his life partner, catcher Don Sluggo Slott. Thank you for setting the record straight. Thank you. Go ahead, Jordan. We got Gramercy Books in Bexley, Ohio. Dragon's Lair in Austin. Sounds like a cool shop.

Bad video game. R.J. Julia's Books in Madison, Connecticut. Mojo Books and Records in Tampa, Florida. I googled this. RJ Julia's Books, by the way, is the only independent bookstore owned by Raul Julia. RIP. M. Bison himself. Angelica Houston has like six.

Yeah, but yeah. Mojo Books and Records in Tampa, Florida. That's owned by Austin Powers. Yeah, baby. Astoria Bookshop in NYC. Fountain Bookstore in Richmond, Virginia. Shuler Books in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Maybe that's Skyler Books. I'm sorry if I'm mispronouncing it.

It's S-C-H-U. So that's owned by former Redskins quarterback Heath Shuler. Oh, Jesse, this is a special one. Bookshop Santa Cruz. That's where we met. That's where we saw a reading from Sarah Vowell. Yeah. So fun. Bookshop Santa Cruz, a great local institution. Warmed my heart to learn that somebody had pre-ordered there. All of these warm my heart in their own way, but that one was very special. Jordan, can I tell you something? I pre-ordered their... All of these warm my heart in their own way, but that one was very special. Jordan, can I tell you something?

I pre-ordered Bubble from Pacific Cookie Company. Just another great downtown Santa Cruz institution. I guess they have books now. Prologue Books in Columbus, Ohio. The person who pre-ordered it wanted me to mention that her friend Dan owned it. So there you go. Shout out to Dan, huh?

That's Phoenix Sun's guard-forward combo, Dan Marley. out to dan huh that's phoenix sun's guard forward combo dan marley yes i'm i imagine that's who it was uh bookseller c-e-l-l-a-r in lincoln square chicago uh moon by peter seller thank you no relation to peter sellers it's just a different guy yeah uh moon palace books in minneapolis mich Michigan Owned by the moon Thank you The Book Tavern in Augusta, Georgia Telegraph Art and Comics in Charlottesville, Virginia Forbidden Planet, NYC

Fallen Leaf Books in Nashville, Indiana Book Wardrobe in Ontario, Canada Old Firehouse Books in Fort Collins That's owned by a lion and a witch Old Firehouse Books in Fort Collins, Colorado In an actual old firehouse Pretty cool looking place Oh, dang Loyalty Books in Fort Collins, Colorado, in an actual old firehouse. Pretty cool looking place. Oh, dang.

Loyalty Books in Washington, D.C. Page Up, another order from Page Against the Machine in Long Beach. We're racking up the orders for Page Against the Machine, social justice bookstore, Page Against the Machine. Heck yeah. That's in Long Beach. Another order from Astoria Bookshop. Keep that in mind. That will come into play later. Perfect Books in Long Beach. Another order from Astoria Bookshop. Keep that in mind.

That will come into play later. Perfect Books in Ottawa, Canada. Best Sellers, Books and Coffee in Madison, Michigan. Is there a Madison, Michigan? I guess there is. Maybe I just... Yeah, is there? Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, it's owned by Ashley Madison. Right, the affair website. Epic Books in Ontario, Canada. It seems to be a pretty epic place. Green Apple Books on the Park in San Francisco. Oh, that's a great book. That's a legendary

San Francisco bookstore. There you go. Jordan, that's a bookstore that you could bring all of your books to and they'll buy all of them. Hell yeah. It's one of those

indiscriminate buying. They'll give you a bad price, but they'll buy anything. Great store. Green Apple. The person tweeted that they got it there and the bookstore tweeted back. So they're okay in my book. They bought it with credit from selling Green Apple 75 other

books. Library drawn in quarterly in Montreal, Quebec. And Quimby's in chicago now the wrinkle so jesse uh there have been this week we got multiple people ordering from like the same bookstore and it got me thinking i want to include these places in what i call a turbo shout out because they're clearly popular they're clearly carrying bubble Plus you're tired of having to press the button over and over when you could just hold it down. Exactly. Turbo mode.

Here's what I'm gonna do, Jesse. Yeah. I'm cataloging all of these. I have these all in a little dock. I look at it sometimes when I feel sad. Right. And I am keeping track of where we're getting the most orders from. When this thing comes out, July 13th, whoever has the most orders...

Pizza party. Pizza party. Everybody's getting a personal pan pizza. I will travel there on my own dime when it is safe to travel, and I'll sign a bunch of books. Wow. So, the turbo shout outs we have for this week these places that are in the running uh i mentioned astoria bookshop in new york city uh this is ineligible for the contest because it would be bullshit if it won but the secret

headquarters here in la uh it does seem like bullshit if it won. That's the comic book store that you buy me a gift certificate to sometimes for Christmas. And then I go there and they're like, hey, aren't you Jesse from Jordan Jesse going? I feel like a big shot. An awesome store. A lot of the comics that I read to this day were recommendations from the awesome staff at Secret Headquarters. I'll seriously just buy any comic book they tell me to buy. I'll just be like, which comic book should I buy? Talk to Julie! Julie knows

her shit! Julie at Secret Headquarters knows what the good stuff is. Trust her. Yeah, awesome shop. I'll try and go there and sign some anyway. They're eligible for the contest. But the two frontrunners, Astoria Bookshop

and Changing Hands Bookstore in Phoenix, Arizona. Shit ton of orders from Changing Hands. I don't know. Holy cow. That's the Janet Varney bump. Yeah. Maybe it is. Oh, yeah.

So Changing Hands easily in the lead. Astoria close behind. Paging is the machine close behind. I don't think it's bullshit if that wins. That's where I'm going. Long Beach is kind of far away. I have to get on the 405. So that's in the contest. Wow. Jordan, if it comes to it, are you willing to go to San Pedro? No, never.

What about Torrance? Is Torrance a bridge too far? I'll go to Torrance. I'll go to Rancho Cucamonga But I will not go to Ventura Thank you We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go La la la la la la la la Hey folks it's me James Arthur M Host of Minority Corner

Your home through these bewild times For weekly doses of pop culture, history, news, nerdy stuff, and more through a BIPOC queer and allied lens. That's how you get Joel Schumacher putting nipples on Batman. I say this as a gay man. Didn't ask for it.

I don't need to see Batman's nipples on his suit. Who is this for? I did a bunch of research. I wanted to just know about the history of black people in Argentina. So not only did they erase black people from their history, they also started to flip and use it as slurs. We're not done. Like, we're not done with the work that needs to be done.

And so stay awake. So join me and some of your new BFFs every Friday here on Maximum Fun to stay informed, empowered, and have some fun. Minority Corner, because together, we're the majority. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hey there, beautiful people. Did you hear that good, good news?

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It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Kate Little Skillet Willett. What a joy to have you, Kate Little Skillet Willett. Dirtbag Anthropology is Kate Willett's new audio book. It's available exclusively from the good people at Audible. Now, Kate, let's just say our listeners are Audible members,

and it's likely they are because there's a big crossover between the audiobook audience and the podcast audience. So let's assume that they're Audible members. They're going to have to burn a credit to listen to this amazing book, right? I mean, they only get one credit a month. They will not. It's actually on Audible Plus plus which means you don't have dear lord yeah just listen to it it is free bonus content uh and yeah just you can listen to it

anytime and then that is absolutely extraordinary yeah and then you can rate it and review it if you want other people to know about it if you feel feel like that, doing it, you know? That sounds fun. It's amazing. I love to rate and review. I've had people actually giving me high reviews of the rating process, you know? After you review something, they send you a separate email. How was your review process on a scale of one to five?

They really enjoyed it. Here's a concern that I have about the rating and reviewing for your new Audible Original Dirtbag Anthropology. I love rating and reviewing, but I really only love putting 5-star

reviews. Is that going to be a problem or a concern? It's actually okay because luckily, like 10% of the reviewers are like sexists who hate me from the internet that are making sure that those one-star reviews are getting in there, yeah. I remember them from earlier segments. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Which was the funny thing is you have to listen to like half the book before they let you do a review. You got them. So these are like my reply guys that are like devoting like hours and hours of their life to be like one star, you know? I wish my reply guys were that dedicated i got some really dedicated ones it's it's they're like reverse simps is a reverse simp a soy boy anyway i'm still i'm still unclear on a lot of this. A soy boy, like, it's a non-reply distinction. It's just, you know, a man who's in touch with his feminine side,

you know, our progressive viewpoints. Honestly, everyone here right now, to the people that refer to people as soy boys, you would all be soy boys. There's no doubt that I'm a soy boy. I'm a Chad Stacy's listening I'm a soy boy

extra firm if you know what I'm talking about too messed I don't I'm gonna be frank with you guys this whole time we've been talking about all this different stuff. Ever since Kate said reverse simps, I've been trying to spell simps backwards in my head

and see if it spells anything the entire time. And I have failed completely, which makes me, guys, a reverse Patrick Michaels. Yes, that's right. When I was in middle school, my friend Patrick Michaels could say any word backwards immediately. Yes, that's right. When I was in middle school, my friend Patrick Michaels could say any word backwards immediately. It was amazing.

It was the greatest thing in the history of the fucking world. A real cool dude. Yeah. Now he works for ProPublica. Hey, that's nice. Good for him. Way to go, Patrick Michaels.

Do you think around the ProPublica office they're ever like, I just finished a really big investigation of the oil industry. I'm going to go have, as a little treat, have Patrick Michaels say some things backwards for me. I should hope so. Yeah. That's great. Because usually when you hear someone talk about it, like a friend of theirs from junior high really specifically, They're always like dead in some sort of boating accident.

So I'm glad that your story ended with yours having a nice job. Yeah, he's got a good job at a great nonprofit news agency. Amazing. He's a disgraced weatherman. That's why. That's how he ended up there. A lateral move at least. He meals chicks at the post office now, honestly.

You know? Sure. There's worse jobs. Did anything else happen in the show that we should list? Just doing callbacks. There were my cats. Cats did something. Honestly, the cats heard about the little tiny birds,

became too messed, and they're gone now. They're gone. Sure. Yeah. Hey, and finally, Kate's cats go're gone now. They're gone. Sure. Yeah. Hey, and finally, Kate's cats go on Compton. Yeah, exactly. Pearl, go on Chapo. Pearl.

Pearl, go on Chapo. Little Pearl, go on Chapo. Yeah. I am, again, this is one of those things, I'm kind of unclear on what all this is, and I am really afraid it's going to bite me in the ass one day. The other day, somebody on Twitter called me petite bourgeois, and I was like, fuck, now I have to look up what this is. Petty bourgeois.

It's like the merchant class. It's petty bourgeois. Oh. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Small business owners, basically. Well, it's appropriate, Kate, because your boy's petty as fuck. Okay?

That's right. Okay. Kate Willits, a new Audible original called Dirtbag Anthropology. You should get it from your Audible app. You don't even have to burn your credits. You can save your credits

probably for the library book by Susan Orlean. That's probably what I would use my credits for. I was using my credits. Our producer on the program, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. The guy looks handsome. He's wearing a denim shirt. This guy looks like a million dollars in this flat pocket denim shirt.

He's got a new hat that's got a letter B on it, too. That's for Brian. You can find us on Reddit, maximumfun.reddit.com. You can find us on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne, where you can read all about those fucking umpires. Jesus Christ, these assholes going home in the middle of the ninth inning

while the pitchers get some work in um uh hashtag at jj go on twitter if you've got corrections for us don't worry we care about quality uh tweet at jd power uh reach out to jd power and associates let them know if we've gotten anything wrong um let consumer reports know too you know i just got that consumer reports automobile uh issue in the mail not looking to buy a car read the whole fucking thing mazda's doing great things these days really yeah i always see nissans on the road i'm like those look nice you know i rented in my next car will be a nissan i rented a nissan and if you get a nissan from that rental instead of a chevy malibu

count your lucky stars because that Nissan's got nice fit and finish. Sure. That's all. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. Wait, our theme music, Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. They don't get paid for us to use it. I just promised that I would always say their name. It's a great band and a great record label. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported