Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 703: Twelve-Sided Diesel with Jason and Randy Sklar

Episode Date: September 7, 2021

The Sklar Brothers (View from the Cheap Seats pod, Dumb People Town pod) join Jordan and Jesse to discuss intense sales pitches for the niche beach game Pro Kadima, the phrase Jason's wife can say to him to anger him beyond belief, and the story of what Vin Diesel did early in his career to get noticed in Los Angeles. Plus, the Sklars have started a new Patreon with View from the Cheap seats video and an exclusive Patreon podcast! Check it out!Check out Judge John Hodgman LIVE from the London Podcast Festival with special guest John Darnielle from The Mountain Goats!And get Jordan's graphic novel, BUBBLE, if you haven't already! SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS –• FEALS – Become a member today by going to Feals dot com slash JJGO and get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping!• MAGIC SPOON – Go to MagicSpoon.com/JJGO to grab a custom bundle of cereal and use promo code JJGO to save five dollars!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jessigo, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Can I ask you a pretty serious question, Jordan? Ooh, I wish you would. Ooh, serious? This is where I thrive. Uh, thoughtful, sincere? Ooh, oh yeah i'll take one of those

yes tee me up for that my thinking my thinking on this jordan is that if we're not trying to make people laugh the fact that no one is laughing will come off better i I love this. That's why I'm going for the serious here. 700 episodes in and we've found the secret. Yeah. So have you ever heard of a grito? I don't think so. I mean, can you spell it for me?

Sometimes called a G-R-I-T-O. Sometimes called a grito mexicano. I don't think so, no. Tell me all about it. It's like, do you know the exclamation that a mariachi does that sounds a little bit like a laugh i'm not i can't do it first of all i'm bad at doing it second of all i can't do it loud enough for it to really land but because my kids are asleep but it's like a yeah that sound i do i just want to let our listeners know that if you hear that sound

it's because my neighbor's in a folding chair outside the metal shop and he's been drinking. Oh, okay. So he's just doing that. Not as part of a mariachi performance, but he's just doing it. No, I mean, it is a general purpose exclamation. Like it's particularly used in mariachi.

Gotcha, okay. You might do it if somebody scored a goal or you might do it if just anytime you need a like way to go right if you're watching one of those youtube videos where a deer goes into a convenience store and freaks out yes you like those exactly if the deer is in guadalajara yes that is when you would use that. And oh, sorry, there goes the ice cream truck. My neighbor's just been hanging out out front the metal shop with his dad and folding chairs. And they've been out there for quite a while. And I think they're getting a little loose and they've been making that sound. And it terrified my children. Well, they were absolutely

convinced it was a witch. I mean, not to not to convince you that your your new home is haunted, Jesse, but I'm getting some fucking terror vibes from that ice cream truck music. It could just be the quality that it's coming through your microphone and then through my zoom. It could be that from your end that sounds delightful uh from my end uh it uh yeah it definitely sounds like i'm about to be like ironically murdered no over here it sounds like the potential for bomb pops yeah that's what i'm feeling sure right now although it is possible that the sounds that i'm hearing the gritos that i'm hearing could be a haunting i may be misattributing it because just because it sounds like it's my neighbors across the street it might just be i did see a vision of a sort of ghostly guitarone which is that giant guitar

you know that giant guitar yeah i do i know the guitar yeah yeah the gargantuan guitar it's like an enormous guitar i saw one of those at the thrift store one time jordan and i didn't buy it because i don't know how to play even a regular size guitar uh but i have regretted that decision ever since yeah you fucking blew it man well one of those giant guitars so bad just don't make the same mistake twice. Run outside, get a bomb pop. Yeah. I'll hold things down here.

If you see a bigger than normal bomb pop, maybe get that one. I'm just trying to give the listener a picture of why they're getting so much atmosphere right now. We're recording from home, and it's an atmospheric environment. People love this. This is a real uh radio lab we're radio labbing the show by 45 people are hearing the sounds of lincoln heights and of course the sounds of pasadena california from jordan's house yeah that's like uh people go on a Burger. Of course, the folks at the Huntington. People preparing for the doodah parade. Exactly. We have guests on the program, Jordan.

It's been years, years since we've had these men on the program. They're among our favorites of all time. Here's the thing. We've been recording on the weekends for many years. These guys have family time on the's the thing. We've been recording on the weekends for many years. These guys have family time on the weekends. They're weekend warrior types. These guys. These guys are packing everybody

in a minivan. They're out on the ski dues. They're headed to the putts. They're doing all the different... Headed to the... What's's it called go-karts oh man you ever have an uncle that takes you to the go-karts should we introduce our guests and then get into go-karts our guests are the Sklar brothers Randy and Jason Sklar Randy and Jason

welcome back to Jordan Jesse go thrilled to have you back thank you for having us oh what a what a treat it's a treat to be back and i want to posit this possibility like what if we showed up at jesse's house and he's like yeah that noise is coming from the machine shop next door and we're like jesse there's there's no machine shop next door oh my god it was it was burned down 10 years ago tonight. 10 years ago tonight. We all know the dates of various famous fires. And then we take him outside and he's living in a giant guitar. Oh, shit.

By the way, the guitar, the guitar run is the only guitar that the shark from the Meg can hear. That's just the only one he's allowed. And I think it's a whale. I don't think it's a shark. And I would say every guitar roan is an ironic nod to Eddie Van Halen, may he rest in peace. Because he made famous little guitars. And it's a nod to Gary Shroom.

Jason, Randy, thank you for explaining that, Randy. Jason. Sure. Yeah. For some who sure yeah for some how do you feel about a go-kart you guys ever take the family out on on a go-kart expedition oh my god i just three weeks ago i was on go-karts i'm not even joking not even joking st louis missouri you know what's amazing about missouri is uh as far as they're concerned, no COVID going on right now. Yeah. Just doing their thing. Nothing happening. Business is huge. So, yeah.

So, I took my kids there to visit my mom, and they wanted to go. And there's like a Grand Prix go-kart racing track near like a mini golf and batting cages. And we went there, and it was so much fun to ride them. And then i've been completely swept up in the formula one documentary series which is basically like hard knocks for formula one on netflix and i'm obsessed with knowing where these guys who are racers come from and they ride go-karts that's how they get there what as kids they rode go-karts and then

later they do these like race go-karts and then they move, move. Sorry. I don't want to say they rode the go-karts like someone else drove them for the, no, but they raced the go-karts. And then like, there's like, you know, pictures of, and video footage of these guys when they were kids, like two guys who are now on the same racing team. team it is fascinating because i couldn't have cared less about formula one at all i that was like the one sport that i just could not have cared about watch this series and now i know everything about it and i'm fascinated by it are there other sports like that like do professional golfers start out in putt-putt tournaments like professional tennis players start out competing interscholastically with that. Like, yeah. Or like the thing, what's that game that you play at the beach with the wooden paddle?

Oh, pickleball. Like pro, pro Kadima, which is like, it's pro Kadima is so it's an Israeli game. And if you know anything about Israelis, they're like the most hard, they're like harder than the paddles and the ball itself they're like so harsh like the commercial for prokidima in israel is like do it do it why don't you like this game take the you take the paddle you go there you go there you hit why you don't like this take it buy three of them why you don't like this is the commercial it's just like a guy coming to think of why you don't like go take the prokidima you go ahead you he's anticipating someone saying they don't like it right it's like i'm gonna i up. Why you don't like go take the prokofiev. You go ahead. You he's anticipating someone saying they don't like it.

Right. I'm going to I'm going to hedge off right there. Yeah. Baked into the whole ad is that you're you're having an aversion to it. Yeah, I don't like. Can I ask you guys a question? What exactly is pickleball? Is pickleball something?

Yeah. So pickleballs, older people play pickleball. It's like if you were to take a tennis court and shrink it down to one-fourth the size of a regular tennis court. No, no, it's not one-fourth the size. It's basically played within the parameters of the service box. And then there's a space right in front of each net, and you can't go into that space. There are all these crazy rules for it. And you hit with sort of a hard plastic racket, but it is still like a tennis

ball. It's fascinating. It's a really fun game if you don't want to do the running of tennis. This is 100% what I saw earlier today. This morning, I took my son and my adopted son, Elliot Kalin, and my grandchild, Sammy, Elliot's son. He's the host of the Flophouse now. The three of us and my youngest, my four-year-old Frankie, we all went to the Montecito Heights Recreation Center to practice baseball because my kid's going to start playing Little League this year. Awesome.

Good stuff. Good stuff. It's going to be a rough start for him he's got a lot he's gonna learn some lessons he's gonna learn some lessons maybe not naturally gifted is what you're saying just got a lot of growth potential there jesse i'm gonna i'm gonna give you some advice even though it's t-ball tell him to lean into a couple pitches yeah hey we need we need walks as good as it hits. Lean his shoulder into the ball and the tee and then take a base.

And so at the Montecito Heights Recreation Center, it's a pretty big park. It's got what they call a Dodgers dream field, which is a beautiful baseball field with an electronic scoreboard built by the Dodgers that is always locked so no one can use it. Sure. Makes sense. Yeah. It's like watching Dodgers games in LA unless you have a certain cable. You can't do it. You're locked out of it.

Right. So then there's like a regular little league field and there's one of those little fields with an all dirt infield and you know like one of those kind of like band shell style backstops you know what i'm talking about like it yeah it's like a semi circular it's basically it's like yosemite's half dome there's a couple of nice playgrounds there sure and of course it wouldn't be a los angeles park if there weren't two beach volleyball pits with no nets and a horseshoe tossing area of course i don't know like the los angeles 84 foundation just went ape shit in this park

they took that money from the 1984 olympics and just fucking spread it across that's right this giant space volleyball let's do it truly went wild and there's a couple of there's a couple of you know there's a gym and there's a couple of tennis courts there and this is not culturally speaking a tennis-y neighborhood i don't want to say i don't want to make broad cast a broad net around what cultural groups may or may not play tennis but i will say swiss women play tennis that's the primary in my mind at least it's the swiss yeah tennis and coco yeah sure there's a and rock clets there's a couple of tennis courts on like alvarado just under the one oh just past the 101 is it or as it yeah starts to go away from downtown and i always see people playing like yeah all the time like at every and there's just like tons of people there

looks like a line of people that are waiting to to on those courts. I'm like, what is on these courts? Like, what's, is this like where Serena Williams was yelled at by her dad? So what is happening? It's a place that dads bring their kids to yell at them. To yell at them. So most of the demographic in the park, like people using the park, is the folks in the neighborhood. Like, it all makes sense, right? Like, there were some guys pitching horseshoes.

No one is playing beach volleyball. No, no. You know, there's like a teenage baseball league of some kind. You know, everybody's bringing their coolers. There's a, you know, people are making carne asada on the grills. Like it's a real neighborhood vibe in this place.

And then on the tennis court, there's just these middle-aged white women in stretchy pants playing pickleball and i had never seen this before in my life and it is the strangest thing to see on like an outdoor inner city just these ladies going plunk plunk plunk plunk right no no it's it's fascinating and it is like it's like i want to play tennis but i only want to exert like half the energy that's what it is i mean i assumed it was like you know how people in new york play handball and it's like a really intense thing and like oh yeah certain like groups of people in New York just have three inch calluses on their hand from whacking or special gloves special gloves for handball yeah well they're either whacking their gloves or they're whacking

their kids you know the ball you're speaking broadly about New Yorkers. Yeah, well, we live there. It's a sport that I don't think exists particularly in other places. There may be some other places, but it's basically the candle pin bowling of playgrounds. Right. Yes. Very intense, very regional. And I just assumed that these were like four people from boston and in boston they play tennis with tiny rackets that go plink plink plink and they were like where can we find a pickleball court and this was the neighborhood they found yes exactly okay research and it's

the type of people who are like siri like so uh where's their pickle where's their pickleball court? They've got one hand on the wheel and their phone in front of their face, and they're going, Siri, show me pickleball. Pickleball. Then they get directions to a pickleback. Yeah, right. That's right. And then they're at a nickelback concert,

which is not good for anyone. Not what they wanted. A lot of times you're trying to play pickleball, and you end at a nickelback concert that is a logical end of every game do you ever see people driving around in 2021 the year of our lord 20 years after the year 2001 and you see them doing that thing where they have one hand on the wheel and they're holding their phone, but they're not holding it what I would call phone style, which is to say- They're holding it like- They're holding it out at arm's length,

but they're driving. They got the memo that you're not allowed to hold the phone to your ear while you're driving, but they didn't get the memo that you can connect your phone to your car. That's right. And they didn't spring for the weather you can connect your phone to your car that's right and they didn't spring for the weather tech thing that fits in the cup holder that you put your phone in that makes you look like you're driving uber no they didn't they just have it on speaker but they're

still they don't even put it in the cup holder they're holding it i mean i think cars are gonna just now figure that out and just that you're're just going to it's just going to be people yelling at their cars like that's it. It's like now that we have Alexa technology in our house, that's what it's going to be in cars. Just every but like once Alexa gets in the car, that's just what Alexa, give me my map. Alexa, I mean, I'm surprised at like how mad I get at Alexa when she doesn't listen. You know, and I know she's not listening, but like she's there's just moments where like she doesn't respond. And I was like, oh, I know she feels like my kids, you know. Sure. And it is like, you know, obviously, like it's a technology that I think is worrisome to us.

But I mean, it is it is undoubtedly amazing. Yeah. And then when it like fucks up one time in 20 you're like yeah yeah fuck this amazing thing this amazing thing that totally worked that i that didn't exist fine this amazing thing that's watching me every minute of my day and observing every choice i make screw it yeah screw it right exactly oh you can't tell me the weather but you can watch me jack off all right fine fine alexa no i mean how many people in their houses just single dudes are like Alexa turn away it's the door

or Alexa feel free to watch come a little closer Alexa call me names Alexa choke me for two seconds if you would I heard nickelback Alexa, choke me for two seconds, if you would. No, no.

I heard Nickelback. Ah, fucking Alexa. I just want to be choked. Now I'm too hard. Here is Pickleball. No, no, no. Although, those pants are pretty tight. Do you think someone will, do you think in our lifetime like there will be a is the greatest challenge for the music hipsters of the world to rehab nickelback do you think there will be a move

in our life from the norm core movement from the norm i mean i would love i would love to hear like a halsey version of my kids my kids do this and it's so funny like they can really do halsey like you know there was like some i'll i'll do this i'll give full credit to my daughter georgia who had me laughing so hard when we there was like uh there's like this new tv show called labrea like i don't know if you guys saw that was like an hour-long drama called labrea and she just was like started singing like labrea labrea and like halsey i'm like that's the funniest thing so if halsey did a version of or like that sort of like just just a piano and a female like a billy eilish did like heinz heim hind i'm telling you that the other h heinz the band yeah they did like

some weird version of that nickelback song it would be like the greatest thing at the or and then you would realize what a great song it was or heinz the ketchup heinz the ketchup that would be great i'd love to hear like heinz the ketchup is all about nostalgia so the whole song is this is how you remind me of what i really i feel I feel like, what's a, I'm thinking of a Creed song. You remind me how I- So no, this is how you remind me of what I really am. I think that that could get Africa'd. That could get Toto'd.

Maybe. That could get Toto'd. Oh, yeah. But it could be Hunter. I was thinking, when you said this, Jordan, what my mind went to immediately was the Carpenters, right? Like, the Carpenters, I think, in their time in the immediate aftermath, were the opposite of a cool thing. Yeah. Like, just the least cool thing you could ever have in a million years.

And then sometime around 20 years ago, the Carpenters sort of went through a revival where they became the inspiration for many, many indie rock acts. They were the original White Stripes. They were the White Stripes. They were the White Stripes. She played drums. She did. She did play drums. She was a very good drummer. You can see many clips of her busting some serious breaks on YouTube.

That's right. Were they brother and sister were they married no one knew that's that's no one no one knew but that was the first thing that i thought of and i have a hard time seeing that happen like i don't think that nickelback i think his hair was such a huge issue because his hair was both yeah he had He was frosted with a mullet and bangs. Like I was like three mistakes. You got to pick one mistake. You got to pick one.

Give me all the bad hair. So it's, can I have all the bad hair? Our uncle, our uncle Eddie in Canton, Ohio had a print shop. He used to like print things. And then he had a sign right by the end.

And this wasn't his saying, but he had a sign right by the cat, well this wasn't his saying but he had a sign right by the cat like where you cashed out and it said uh you can have it good fast or cheap pick two yeah if it's good and fast it's not gonna be cheap if it's good and cheap it's not gonna be fast if it's fast and cheap it's not gonna be good yeah so pick two with the hair if it's frosted and bangs you can't have them if frosting them all you can't have the bangs and all it can't be frost you gotta pick yeah my my uncle um wayne out there in washington dc had print shop on his apple 2 plus and uh he had a sign that said welcome jesse that he printed out on his dot matrix printer when i went to visit beautiful it's with the uh skateboarding dinosaur did it

have a border did it have a border around the edge border border option yeah uh-huh several lots of lots of confetti i got it those are the original much yeah i mean i just think like jay and i always wanted to write this sketch so badly for the band silver chair which kind of came out a little bit it predated nickelback only by probably like what like seven or eight years i can't do the math on that but like silver chair was this australian high school band do you remember their song like you're gonna wait too fat boy remember that song fat boy you wait till tomorrow so huge hit and we thought how funny would it be if they came back to their high school school before they graduated that this huge hit and their high school decided to have like most high schools have a battle of the bands. And they were like, you know what, we're going to come back and play and they were going to play to win their own high school battle of the bands.

But another group of super silver chair fans started a silver chair cover band called like bronze chair or silver couch or whatever you want to call it one of those and they played their song better than silver chair had played well even if they didn't play it better they had more spirit around it because it was special they beat silver chair the actual band silver chair at their high school battle of the bands with silver chair song that to us would have been like just a really fun thing. Was that, was that for you, Randy and Jason,

a sexual fantasy? No, no, it was very well developed for. It's a sketch idea we had along with the other sketch idea. We always wanted to do was two people coming in to the Starship enterprise and just having a very lengthy conversation about their 401k and people can't understand it and everybody's having problems with it because it's

not laid out the right way and they're and they're trying to say if i'm vested in this thing and we go certain light years away i want those light years to count towards my best thing and they're like but it's amount of time you do on task and they're like yeah but you can't decipher what that is especially for hyperspacing and they kind of bring up if we go back in time it actually takes years

off of what your best did guys Funny or Die was around for 10 years you had your chance you should have done it. You could have pitched this as SpawnCon for Pringles. Yeah. The guy who played Riker would have done it. The guy who played Riker.

100%. Frakes would have done it. Jay, what's the video that Eva sent us that our friend Eva sent us? So it was the home game of, it was some Star Trek home game, and it was just the guy saying one phrase over and over again. The Klingon saying one phrase over and over. Worf? Over and over.

Yeah. Worf from Star Trek The Next Generation? Yes, I believe so. And he was like, what's the phrase, Rand? The phrase is so, it's so specific. Beige, something beige? Something, I don't know, man. Except beige. Text Eva and find, I don't know, man. Except Bij.

Text Eva and find out what it is. We are driving so many little tricks right now. The fact that we got to know it. They know what it is. But it was just the outtakes of this guy doing the home game. And it was just every version of like, because this is how he recorded every version of how it plays in the home game. But obviously, if you're playing the game like it doesn't make one after another but someone

edited together all of his reactions and it was something b oh george ben harrison just climbed through my window uh so i'm gonna have to deal with that right jay eliminate bees or something like that see make sure it's not the haunted ice cream man. God, thank you. You should make sure. You're about to get killed with a warped Sonic the Hedgehog. It's like you play now. Anyway, just that was really fun.

It kind of feels like people kind of want to do the they were good actually rehab with Limp Bizkit. It kind of feels like people are like dancing around it, taking the temperature. Dude, how about the Fred Durst? Like just the weird sort of like he kind of looks like he owns three porn, like ex-hamster and whatever on stage. He looks like Brett Favre's older brother. Yeah.

He looks like it. My internet friend and acquaintance, Dan Devine of The Ringer, pointed out that Billy Corgan, and I think I would add Fred Durst to this list, both from certain angles basically look like they're Fat Joe from the Terror Squad. They're really giving that look. they're really giving that look. Although I did think there were times where Billy Corrigan reminded me of a bald Michael Ian Black. Definitely. Gorgeous head of hair on that man,

but I can see it. But it kind of feels like if they use Limp Bizkit as a needle drop at the right minute in a Marvel movie, that's going to do it. Like that's going to make people go like, you know, they were good. And then we're all fucked. Needle dropping, needle dropping the Black Widow.

Like, give me something to break. I mean, which one happens first, Jordan? Limp Bizkit or Korn? Which one of those is the one that is the... Freak on a leash. The crack in the dam and all of a sudden the river of new metal. So it's Experience Bish. Experience Bish is the name.

Experience Bish. And like you play now. Experience Bish. Oh, man. Do you guys remember in high school or maybe early in college the first time you experienced Beej? It was amazing. Still waiting on it. Sorry, Jordan.

Sorry, buddy. I've heard stories. I've heard stories. Come on, Worf. Tell me what it's like. What's it like, Worf? What's it feel like? Experience Beej. I i mean it would be

that would be cool like just from spider-man like the spider multiverse or whatever it is and it's just like needle drop i did it all for the nothing yeah yeah maybe that's maybe that's because like yeah i think they're gonna start doing multiverse stuff in these comic book movies maybe like the idea is you travel you know to, to another reality where like Alfred Molina is still Dr. Octopus and Limp Bizkit is good and everybody thinks that they're good. Yeah, I'm going to. I wonder if it'll play through the through the microphone. Just get it right up to the mic, Rand. Just.

Yeah. Let's watch videos. No, we're not going to. I want to see if it plays right through it. OK. Hold on. The experience be because my friend just sent it to us. You are the only crew member.

The one who is moving now. Answer. Who is moving now? Respond. You. The one who is moving now. Answer. You.

The one who is moving now. Answer! You! The one who is moving now. Answer! Look at me! The one who is moving now. It's like a Zombo.com situation. So this is like him doing all? This is him giving you

options? So it is you. You're the one who is moving now. Moving now. Wait, so wait. Where does Experience Bish come in? That's so good.

The one who is moving now. You, answer. Oh, man. Experience Bish is coming. Hold for Bish. Bish flying in. Hold. We got a Bish coming.

We got a Bish on deck. Bish on deck. Bish on freeze day on deck. Here we come. Here it comes. Here it comes. It's coming. There's a whole thing right now i'm so excited

you guys are gonna love it it's definitely gonna live up to what we were all i gotta say is when randy finally experiences that beach is kind of we are all going to experience together it's something for everyone sure once once once a year on my birthday go back ran experience how does this how does this play out in the board i don't know but like i can know you better experience beige you must is that all i can tell you before while we were leading up to that i was kind of asking myself is this worth the real estate we're devoting 100 absolutely i could not agree can i just tell you that like i would have been okay with a longer build-up jordan jordan jordan jordan as i was doing i'm like this is a terrible idea that

can only be cured with the phrase experience 70 times in a row well no so that guy just was like do you do it again like i imagine the director this guy's in full klingon makeup like full everything they're like just he's probably so hot. And he's just like, I just want to get out of this shit. He's like, don't give me direction. I'll give you nine options. And then he just did them. Can we have a little more whimsical one?

No, you can't have another one. Yeah. I gave you nine Beeges. You pick one of those Beeges, I'll be at the Formosa Cafe. You couldn't experience Beege any differently? Is this like a VCR game? Is it like a... I'm picturing it as one of those computer games that came on 12 floppy disks.

Yeah, like seen it. There's so many floppy disks. It like made Oregon Trail seem simple. You know what I mean? I'm picturing like a mall madness that has the thing in the middle that you push and then and then uh you experience then you experience maybe it's like i mean jordan what's that never forget the first time what's that video game we were talking about this a few months ago in the arcade that has a difficult to look at hologram

in the middle of it dragon slayer uh no same gameplay though same gameplay where you're just kind of like pushing a button periodically and yeah something happens yeah uh god it was called like time traveler or something like that you were a cowboy and you went through there was a wizard murdering people a wizard yeah i remember just a cowboy and a wizard and they're in the middle of the thing and you kind of can tell that they're a three-dimensional cowboy and wizard right and like maybe if somebody cleaned it it'd be a little easier possible it's tupac it's hard to say by the way cowboy and wizard so i'm thinking we should reboot the village people with like new updated updated like cowboy wizard web designer like let's get a whole new

ghost creature from the black lagoon why stop making this lead singer from nickelback all of history's greatest monsters right absolutely finally a village people you love i mean it takes it takes a village

all these years the village people have just been begging for a heel that was the problem they needed one guy that everyone like turns to get everybody everybody loves bikers construction workers ops everybody loves those guys when you think about it if the village people weren't who they were who they really actually were all of them would be anti-vaxxers every single one of them would be against the vaccine right a cop construction worker their hit song YMCA would be replaced by it's a matter of personal liberty that's right

and the AGA becomes their new song it's about control you know who's also not getting it guys in the Navy they're not getting it in the Navy you don't have to getting it? Guys in the Navy. They're not getting it. Yeah. In the Navy. Yep. You don't have to get the vax.

In the Navy. Mm-hmm. Weird Al can finish that. Yeah. Something, something chlamydia. Yes. Yeah, there you go. Pretty much.

There you go. Pretty much. Bring him back. What if you go to a family fun center, Jason or Randy? Look, you guys are both from St. Louis, Missouri, a home of this spectacular. And I'll say most of my family fun center experience, most of my go-karting was with my uncle in Central Virginia, the St. Louis, Missouri of Virginia. That's right.

That sounds right. That sounds about right. And had a great time. Also had a great time riding around on my uncle's boat that's yeah which never saw water i mean you just he just drove you around on the back just just let me ride in the boat on the trailer on a trailer on the highway yeah i get it so what are your top what are your top family fun center activities? Do you guys get in the go-karts or you just help the teens and children get in there? Hell yes.

And I try and cut kids off. It feels really good. Run them into the tires, you know what I mean? And their careers. And you're driving in those go-karts and you're like, they're using, these aren't electric. I smell real gasoline. If someone's smoking next to these, we could all go up in flames. There's real danger. It feels really good.

Yes. If you're doing it in St. Louis, you can just Tokyo Drift right up to the other dads and cough them up. There you go. That's what actually Tokyo Drift should then, the next one, F10 or

whatever, should be go-karts. They sort of go right down and then F 11 is Pinewood dirt. You just take it straight down, pull that thing down to the studs. You know, the story about Vin Diesel and how he came famous, how he became famous or how he got seen and got known. Do you know the story about him? Well, I mean, I think it's a, a wizard put a spell on a steak to come. That's all right.

I was going to tell you the story, but didn't he? Well, he directed an Oscar nominated short film, didn't he? Oh, I don't know about that. Yes, I believe I believe he did. What was your anecdote, though? Ours is hearsay. Ours is hearsay, but it 100 true we have no we have no verification of the story but we're going to if this was a circumstantial evidence case we would win right

we would win this case beyond a reasonable doubt any doubt about the veracity of this is unreasonable any jury would buy this and there would be no hung jury whatsoever so we're gonna now lay out the case for what happened to him and we are 100 right we should have a law like a courtroom show called objection hearsay no one has any facts or any deeds all right so so the the story we heard was that when the when the sky bar at the mondrian hotel Sunset was like the place to go. So this is like, you're talking the middle of the Sunset Strip, kind of down the road a little bit from the Whiskey A Go-Go, down the road, kind of right by the Comedy Store, where the Comedy Store is on Sunset. This is like a major point where like tons of people, people were out in la they would go to this

place and the sky bar at the mondrian hotel was the biggest thing ever has this beautiful view of like downtown and sort of the flats of la and it was just a wonderful bar and like a pool and just this is where every all the people would go to be seen on a saturday night so at 10 o'clock every saturday night right jay he rents like a $300,000 white Mercedes. He rents it. He rents it. Drives up and like flips the keys with all the confidence in the world,

with all the confidence of a not yet known Vin Diesel, okay? Like he had confidence of Vin Diesel, like F, you know, fat Tokyo drift Vin Diesel. Flips the keys and like just pulls up and everybody who's standing outside at like 10 o'clock at the key time when everyone's supposed to be like who's that guy who's bald head white you know v-neck shirt the t-shirt undershirt haynes shirt that's too small for him dog tags from a war he didn't fight in. From the gym wars of 1996. From the

pull down wars of 1996. Never forget where you were when that happened, when someone asked if they could work in. It almost put an end to the planet. Fitness. Hey, listen. My grandpa

really got fucked up in the gym wars he he wakes up screaming no one spotted him no no one sees he was the last they were the last generation of people that would shower at the gym they called them the greatest generation yeah yeah so he would just flip his keys and be like who's this this guy? Who's this guy? And then eventually, like casting directors were like, this guy must be someone huge. He must be. He literally bet everything he could. He faked it. He faked it until he continued to fake it.

Yeah. I know. And this like tracks. I mean, I mean, obviously, like Vin Diesel is not his real name. His real name is something. So it is something. So not Vin Diesel. I so like his real name to be Gordon is something so it is something so not vin diesel his real name to be

gordon sumner and he like he's like i gotta change it again his real name is calvin brodus incidentally his real name is wolf blitzer that can't be his real but he does seem more like a wolf right doesn't he a little bit yeah he has a little wolf yeah he has some wolf like all these are a real a kind of a chonky it's just amazing that he that's how he figured it out and that's what he did to to get and it worked it legitimately worked for him it's true and it's still working i mean there's more fast and furious is then i mean there's as many as there are Star Wars. That's just, think about that. That is incredible.

Like, they could, there's so much of the story that's left untold. It is. And honestly, like, I won't say that the Fast and Furious movies are better than the Star Wars movies, but they are more consistent. They are. I mean, yeah. They have consistency. They didn't dip down for three of them, if you know what I mean. Or two of them, if you know what I mean.

Can I ask you guys a quick Vin Diesel question? Mm-hmm. If it's Diesel related. Vin Diesel, probably best known as the star of Triple X. Sure. But also is in the Pitch Black movies, of which there's like two or three, right? And that was where he played the head of an acapella group? Yes.

Is that correct? I believe that is, yes. Pitch black. And he did his famous company. Oh, okay. And he is, of course, in the Fast and Furious movies. There was a golden age of Vin Diesel, certainly. That was the time around the release of that.

The first few Fast and the Furious movies, at some point, I think, if I'm not mistaken, he bowed out of the Fast and Furious movies, then returned later. Yeah. Right. It's 2021. There are still people holding their cell phones at arm's length inside their cars. Right. Are there still non-Fast and Furious Vin Diesel movies?

And this is a sincere question. Fast and Furious Vin Diesel movies and this is a sincere question like does he have does he make like is he appearing in medium sized parts in indie dramas is he like doing like a mid-cage style direct to red box

action movies straight to Russia like is he a Marvel character that I don't know well no he's Groot. He's Groot. The voice of Groot. But doesn't Groot just say Groot?

He says, I am Groot. I am Groot. There you go. And, you know, I mean, it's some of the best repetition acting I've ever seen. Sure. And we all know he does Obama on SNL, of course. Sure. At some point, Groot's going to sing Did It All for the Nookie, and we're going to go,

oh, that was a pretty good song. Nookie and we're gonna go oh that was a pretty good song he had a song I know he had a song the internet was crazy about Vin Diesel's song for a minute there by crazy about I mean they were driven mad by but does this is a

serious question like so I think I can I could speak to this I want to hear what you have to say yeah yeah he so i think what happened was that vin left fast and furious for too fast and tokyo and couldn't get anything else right right because that was bow wow's time once he left the right once he left the spotlight bow wow stepped in and it was pretty much over for for vd as he's known and so i think vin came back to fast and furious it becomes this huge franchise and then he tries to wake up those other franchises he does a triple x he does another he had left there's a triple x that stars ice cube

isn't there so there's did you put the emphasis on cube the way you said that you know ice cube ice cube ice cube so there's the first one and then like fast and furious he's like i don't need triple x anymore i'm off to do another thing right cube steps in and then kind of once this once he comes back to fast and furious and they're huge right he's like now i'm going back to triple x now i'm going back to pitch black and and and none of them well wait now so i think now a lot of people don't know this but he was ladybird in the movie ladybird right played lady he was sorry he was one of the best acting work he's ever done like i would love to hear like if he just did like an off broadway version of my dinner with andre and he played the dinner. Yeah. It'd be great. I mean, to me, if you're, if I'm him, I try and do that. What do you, you have all the money in the world.

You don't need to work again for the rest of your, your kids don't need to work. Your grandkids don't need to work now. Just do the things you want to do. Like I would like stretch yourself to a crazy point. I mean, he's got all the confidence in the world. He knows how to stand in front of a camera and deliver lines. So it just go. Well, I think, I think people like Channing Tatum, they are like, I'm that guy, but a better actor. I can give you that masculinity that you need and I can be that alpha dude in when you need me to be. But I also then can, you know, be inanimate. I think you're right, Jason.

I think basically what happened is real actors. Look, Vin Diesel is not the worst actor in the world. But people who were succeeding as artists, people who were graduating from juilliard discovered steroids and personal trainers the combination of steroids and personal trainers and personal some of them did that and then you know i think if vin diesel really is going to pursue his passions i mean pitch black i think was a passion project for him, but I don't think that was a, you know, that wasn't what he hoped it would be, especially the sequel.

I think he should, like, buy a WNBA team. This is what I think. This is what I think he's going to do. And correct me if I'm wrong, I think his passion project is going to be an actual Play Dungeons & Dragons podcast. I think it's going to be vin diesel's the adventure famous yeah famously famously into dnd vin diesel yeah 12 sided diesel yeah diesel 12 sided diesel 12 sided diesel yeah okay we'll be back in just a second

on jordan Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. You know, every single episode of Jordan, Jesse Go, supported by the members of Maximum Fun. Our thanks, members of Maximum Fun. Went to MaximumFun.org slash join. You made our dreams come true. Our dreams, a semi, but not entirely, failed comedy podcast.

I want to mention, Jordan, just real quick. Of course, you have the smash hit book bubble in stores now. That's true. People should go grab that. They can get that both at their local regular bookstore or at their local comic store. It's got great distribution. The distribution is on point.

And if it's not in the store, ask them to order it. They will do it happily. They'll do it with a fucking smile. And if they don't, I'm going to come up there and I'm going to put one on their face myself, if you know what I mean. Sure. Joker style. That's right.

I'm going to eat their ass. Is that what the Joker is about? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. I missed the movie. I saw Suicide i didn't know that i missed the movie i saw suicide squad i enjoyed that a lot yeah okay what i want to mention is look we were going to promote that book with some live shows but something got in the way i shan't say what so i will only have one live show all of this year which is a live judge john hodgman from the london podcast festival

john will be in new york city John will be in New York City. I will be in Los Angeles, and we will be live streaming to the world with John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats. It is September 9th, and it is at a time that works no matter where you are in this great world, or at least in the English-speaking world. It is at 12.30 p.m. on September 9th on the West Coast, 3.30 p.m. on the East Coast,

and 8.30 in London, England. You can find that by Googling Judge John Hodgman, London. You can find the tickets. If that time doesn't work for you, you will be able to watch it a few days afterwards via the player there

at the London Podcast Festival. So thanks to them for inviting us to do this. We love that festival and we're glad to help keep their lights on with this live streaming show. So it's going to be a lot of fun. Darneel's going to sing some songs. I just heard Hodgman might play the tambourine. We're also supported this week by by our friends at Feels. This is a type of juice that tastes like grass that you put under your tongue to become more chill. Yeah, CBD isn't about what you feel. It's about what you don't feel.

And yeah, I'm talking about stress, anxiety, and pain. Yeah, look, I've been through a lot of stress lately. Sure. Stressful times. And I'm not above sticking a little of this grass juice under my tongue. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, when I say it tastes like grass, I'm not joking.

It really does taste like a freshly mowed ball field. But you know what? I can handle that. It reminds me that it's working, Jordan. There you go. Here's what Feels is. F-E-A-L-S. It's a premium CBD that will help to keep your head clear and feel your best. It's hassle-free, delivered directly to your door. Well, that's nice. Home delivery. That's very convenient. Look, it's 2021. You probably already know that CBD is not the part of cannabis that gets you high. It's the part that makes you feel chill, can help with pain. There's a lot of nice things about CBD, but it's something you could do and then go to work. And if you've never tried this

kind of stuff, they even have a hotline that you can call to help guide your personal experience so you find your perfect dose. It's basically, this hotline is basically like a really cool guy that you met at Burning Man. Yeah. Who's going to help you out with this thing. It's like the Butterball Turkey hotline. But chill. But chill. Start feeling better with feels you can become a member today

by going to feels.com slash jj go and you'll get 50 off your first order with free shipping whoa what a deal geez louise that's f-e-a-l-s.com slash jj go you become a member, you get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping. Feels.com slash JJ go. We're also supported this week by Magic Spoon. It's what I had for breakfast. That's their slogan. It only works for me as a spokesperson or other people who had magic spoon for breakfast this morning if you're trying to get more protein into your diet but you still want to eat cereal every morning

magic spoon has you covered it's nice my favorite is the peanut butter flavor jordan but they have i had cookies and cream the other day it was a little cheat for me because I'm not supposed to have chocolate. But, you know, a little chocolate's not going to kill me. Yeah. And cookies and cream, that's nice stuff. Absolutely. And they just brought it back permanently. They also have a maple waffle flavor, which is one of the best types of waffle.

Yeah. These are really great. They got cocoa. They got fruity. They got frosted. I've liked basically every flavor of Magic Spoon I have tried. Yeah, and you can build your own box if you like. Say, give me one of these.

Give me one of those. Give me one of these. What do you want? Cinnamon? What do you want? Give me two blueberries, a cinnamon, and a fruity, please. Give me a frosted, two peanut butters, and a cookies and cream, you can say. These are just examples.

Use your own mix. Yeah. So cookies and cream and maple waffle, they're back permanently. If you want to try them again, you can. If you want to try them for the first time, you can do that too. Delicious and indulgement. Indulgement? That's not a flavor that they have.

Delicious and indulgement. Go togement? That's not a flavor that they have. Delicious and indulgement. Go to magicspoon.com. Indulgement should be a flavor that they have, right? Yeah, it should. Maybe it's like a got to make a mint chip kind of thing. Anyway, call me, Magicspoon. I got all the flavor ideas. Go to magicspoon.com slash JJGO to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today.

And be sure to use our promo code JJGO at checkout to save $5 off your order. At Magic Spoon, they're so confident in their product, it's back with 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked. They're not going to ask

any questions, not even geography. Not like those, not like all those nosy Nellies at the Butterball Hotline. They're always asking questions. What? You didn't like turkey? What, is it too tasty for you? They challenge you. Yeah.

So many questions. That's magicspoon.com slash JJGO and use the code JJGO to save $5 off. And hey, look, up on the Jumbotron, we have a message from a listener, H2WO. H2WO. You listen to JJGO so you like chaotic and eccentric audio experiences. That feels judgmental. Yeah. I'm not going to lie.

It feels a little... That's a few. That's the kind of thing we can say. Listen, we're happy to share your message, but please don't include personal slams. You might like the music of H2 Whoa! You might hate it. Either way,

listen to my musical journey from being awful at music production to just quite bad. My last release was Collide Apart and my new track, Tourniquet, releases on September 2nd. H2WO's music is on Spotify and all

streaming platforms. So, if you want to get up on the Jumbotron like H2WO did, go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. It's just a little thing for listeners. Wish somebody happy birthday. Plug your blog. You got a vlog?

We'll plug that. What do you got? A MySpace you want to? Yeah, we'll shout out your MySpace. Have you compiled your old Vine videos and put them on YouTube? Yeah, we'll plug that. I'd love to plug that. You know what?

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Randy Sklar, notary's public. Oh, the plural. Yeah, I'm a couple. I'm so good, I can stamp two at once. Wow. Which we should say it should be runs R's B-I. And R's B-I, not runs, not R-B-I's. If anybody says, how many R-B-I's does he have?

You'd be like, shut your face and start learning what should be plural. R's B-I. And I know a lot of people probably were listening to that and they were thinking like, well, doing two stamps at once, not that hard. Randy doesn't use his hands. No. No, I don't. You can do two at once, hands free. Hands free.

I refuse to use my hands. I'm the hands free notary public. My neighborhood, I learned recently. I had to get something. I had to get a document notarized recently. I had to get something. I had to get a document notarized recently. And I previously believed the primary business in my neighborhood was bounce house rentals slash piñata sales. That was the top category of business in my neighborhood.

However, needing a notary public has led me to understand that the number one business category in my neighborhood is notaries. There is a notary on every block. Well, you live in the notary district. You didn't know that. Can I get that? I'm sorry. Can I get that in writing, please? Thank you.

I don't believe you. Someone's going to have to sign off on that. I don't believe you. Sign off on that. There's a thumbprint in the don't believe you sign up on that print in the book thank you very much i i love the ledger at like another because you're just like what were the 10 people who came before me to get this thing signed yes this person needed to bequeath her tooth to her yes this person is trying to get out of a custody this britney spears was here to get the stewardship

done it's like all these things that are ahead of you and then it's you with your dumb document i love yeah finding that my i'm finding that my newish area if i ever need to get a key made i will go anywhere yes thank you there's a lot of a lot of people who will make you. Have you been to Montrose? He's made watch batteries replaced. That's right. Have you been up the two to Montrose? Do you know where Montrose is? Montrose, California. So in Montrose, California, there's a street called Honolulu Street,

which looks like it's literally made out of, it was, I guess, created in 1986. There are multiple travel agencies. Wow. It is multiple. I mean, Jay, remember we were in Louisville? So right now we're in Louisville, Kentucky, and there was, we were doing shows at the now defunct Improv. And after we went to the Louisville Slugger Museum and had bats made for us, we went down the street and we noticed six different wig shops and we're like yeah our street not offering anything different i was like why

would you shop here versus that what how are they positioning none of them is called curlies no no so then we said we wanted to open we wanted wanted to partner with Bret Michaels from Poison. Bret Michaels and open a kiosk. A kiosk in front of one of the wig shops. Covering up the wig shop, a bandana kiosk called Bandana Republic. And the wig store we wanted to open up was a wig store simply called Wig Her Please. Women's wig store.

This Klaar Brothers pulling three by five cards from a card catalog of gags right now. I'm sorry. Just reminded us. Just in-tab marked local businesses. I've marked local businesses. No, it was the most shocking thing ever to just understand that there were so many wig stores. You going down the wig district? Yeah.

You would think three of them would be like, we can't compete. You going down the wig district? Pick me up something with the frosted tips and bangs and a mullet. I have to be the lead singer of Nickelback. Yeah, I was going to say, if you buy that, they'll give you a nickelback that's better there we go give them a dollar the notary public the notary public had dollar a page faxes so that's a valuable service fucking public library will do that for 20 cents jesse i'm going i need to who has said in the i need to fax this immediately and no one's ever like i gotta fax this but in a couple of days it's like no i have to fax this

i need to i need to make sure this office has a tie menu the urgency of everything it doesn't matter it doesn't matter what time of day it is it's a place the place that is receiving your facts is always about to close okay you have five minutes i gotta get this down they're pulling down the shades they have worse hours than is than an israeli bank it's 10 45 in the morning they're closing i gotta get this fax off to him immediately. I imagined myself needing to get someone a document right away, which is the classic fax situation. If I emailed it or sent it by courier or something, the message wouldn't be curly enough on the other end.

You know what I mean? This is good. You want to send it curly is how I want to send it. Okay, when something momentous happens to you, like you successfully send a fax at the very last moment, give us a call 206-984-4FUN or send us a voice memo at

jjgoe at maximumfun.org for momentous occasions. Here's one such occasion as shared with us by the one and only Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and beloved guest. This is Ari from Minnesota. I'm calling in with a momentous occasion. One year ago, I called in saying that I had asked out my crush

and would potentially become a throuple. And now I'm calling in to say it's our one year anniversary and we did indeed become a throuple. So say hi, Adrian. Hey. Say hi, Lucas. Hi. All right. Thanks.

Still love the show. Bye. Way to throuple, gang. Congratulations. Wow. So can you tell me what a triple is uh that's a that's a triple couple oh that's phenomenal so she was with somebody and then asked out her crush yes i think it's like when you and your wife are having private time and you ask a alexa to turn on alexa please turn on the music and then

turn closer to the three of us first of all that is amazing yeah because you had to get like you not only do you get two notaries to sign off on that that's right and and let me say something those hands were not free folks um this is this is my assumption i listened to recently i listened to an episode of fresh air i'm a public radio host guys this is the kind of stuff i do all the time i am familiar bullseye i love the news i love lifelong learning. Toad bags. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hush tones. Sneak paprika. Yes. Which, by the way,

should be a seasoning. But is not, disappointingly. Yeah. I was listening to a fresh air about the last days of Osama bin Laden, the life and last days

of Osama bin Laden. And who's actually, that's one of the new village people. Oh, really? And check out the tight buns on Osama bin Laden. And who's actually, that's one of the new village people. Oh, really? And check out the tight buns on Osama. He's the guy on stage who's just watching a ton of porn. Right. Yeah. So I learned a lot about Osama bin Laden. One of the things is that at his compound,

he had a few wives and they explained like logistically how the different wives work like his rotation of wives terrible responsibilities now that in that situation where it's one man with multiple wives the logistics are relatively simple you just go station to station right and each each wife gets a night and uh i don't know like a hotel buffet it's a hotel buffet essentially yeah exactly keep your wife one wife warm underneath the heat yeah in a committed thruple like i presume this one is because they're a year in amazing i kind of imagine it being like the chore wheel that roommates have. In fact, I kind of imagine it being on the chore wheel because there's no like one person. Everybody is going every which way. And most, I'm sure there are some where one person switches back and forth.

But I imagine everybody's going every which way. The logistics are going to get complicated if you don't have a shared Google Cal. You have to sync your iCals. You have to in that scenario. I think you just put it up on the fridge and you get a Brad. If you don't already have cardstock, you just get a manila envelope and cut it round. Cut it around. You know what I mean?

Spin it. I think it's really disappointing when someone gets cunnilingus and then it's just really disappointing when like someone gets cunnilingus and then someone gets do the dishes it's gotta be a better spinner yeah the wheel the wheel she is cruel come on big money big money big money it's spinning and it won't slow down that's a little grateful dead riff for you um thanks randy jerry garcia so uh no i mean the singer of the grateful dead thanks randy yeah i was gonna say it was a jerry song too but i don't understand this this is a very difficult thing to do because i don't know there have to be defined roles right i don't understand osama bin laden having multiple wives yeah but

like multiple lovers that's one of the lovers or girlfriends i can understand someone the commitment to a to a wife to a partner is like a whole thing you like you know it's there's my wife can get me mad with one phrase one phrase she can get me mad she and it's the way she says it to me and it's so soft and it's so she knows that this can get me like i have to walk out of the house and just just walk around take a lap and i take a lap around the neighborhood when she says this to me whenever i ask a question about like when is this thing when it when are when when do we have to pick up her books for school she will look at me and say well do you get the emails wow so imagine around like the union army leaving the south napalm i'm so so my imagine four of those do you get the emails to osama bin laden like i can't even imagine him and i'm sure there are things that

i do to her i guarantee you that same deal same deal 100 wants to like leave like literally like to get on a plane and leave this country what do you think the customary gift for one year in a thruple is like because there are the anniversary gifts right there's like silver there's right aluminum paper yeah i think it's brass knuckles yeah it's brass it's the brass anniversary it's a symbol it's a symbol of your many trips to pound town i was gonna say i was gonna say trifold poster boy tricolor pasta. Trifocals. Trifocals. It's probably one of those little Sega Genesises that has all the Sega Genesis games inside it. Oh, God, that would be great. Yeah.

Yeah. We could play like on the Dolphin together. Would love to play Vector Man with my thruple. I think brass knuckles is an appropriate gift for a thruple. Yeah. I imagine thruples getting out there on the streets together and rumbling yeah you know what i mean not with each other just like as a team as a team you know what i mean to beat some ass beat other people up so jay and i always had friends that like mutual friends that

we would hang out with and so it was all constantly it would be like three of us hanging out like three of us we do a podcast with a third person right and it is fun to go around with a third person like that person is a buffer between us it's many times many times so i can see that working for somebody who is cool with that but you have to make sure the other person is on board with it the other person can't be like 60 into the thruple i mean like i imagine with you guys i imagine a lot of you guys telling uh dan van kirk like randy's would be tell jason yeah he's right there you can tell nope tell him but honestly with the thruple everybody only has to

be 33.3 into it that's right it just has to add up to 100 percent that's right it's 100 percent effort into it works okay let's take another call brian hello jordan and jesse and possible guest this is alan calling in with a momentous occasion from a chicago cubs game i just attended i don't want to say the momentous occasion was when i predicted a home run or when three cubs players converged on a pot fly simultaneously and they let the ball hit the ground while they basically posed like LaPieta. Nope. The momentous occasion was at the end of the game when a little boy two rows ahead of me

took off his hat to reveal a tiny nacho helmet on the top of his head. Love you guys. Oh, yeah. Wow. Dude. Fuck yes. You know what that means? You know what that means?

Six more weeks. You know what that means? You know what that means? Six more weeks. You see that tiny nacho. Was it dumped? Was it dumped on the head or was it? No.

I would have gone up to that kid, looked him in the face and said, that's nacho. That's nacho hat. I know. I knew you were going to say that. I would have knocked it off his head and I would have said, listen, pick a better team. Pick a better team. To me, that's like the sun. This is the Robert Stack in Airplane.

The sunglasses come off and there's another pair of sunglasses there. It's just a great move. This is what reminds me of when Henry Higgins tried to teach me to be a member of high society and I had to walk around balancing that Nacho hat up on my head. Yeah. Sure. I think this must have been, tried to teach me to be a member of high society and i had to walk around balancing that nacho hat up on my head sure i think this must have been correct me if i'm wrong he said nacho hat but

i think this must have been a soft serve ice cream it had to have been a soft serve ice cream because you couldn't fit the nacho hat under a regular hat they're about the same size. Right. Yeah. I think that the most amazing adult person is one who collects many helmets of every team because it is, I don't think there is anything else that someone could do. I'm racking my brain. I'm not coming up with anything else that someone could do i'm racking my brain i'm not coming up with anything else that i do both think is more pathetic and admire and envy more thimbles like i want to be that thimbles and shot glasses shot glasses are like people that you also have a drinking problem so no but the tiny hats is like it's one thing like if someone's like do you want to see my tiny hat collection right that would be the

worst phrase ever said but if someone said that to me i would want to see like that's the thing like thimbles or silver spoons come to my wife and be like, we have to go see Justin's tiny hat collection. And she would look at me and be like, do you get the emails? JJgo at MaximumFun.org or 206-984-4Fun. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Jordan, Jessica. If you're sick of constantly arguing with the people closest to you about topics that really aren't going to change the world, we're here to take that stress off of your shoulders. We take care of it for you on We Got This with Mark and Hal.

That's right, Hal. If you have a subjective question that you want answered objectively once and for all time for all of the people of the world, questions like who's the best Disney villain, Mac or PC, or should you put ketchup on a hot dog? That's why we're here. Yes, I get that these are the biggest questions of our time, and we're often joined by special guests like Nathan Fillion, Orlando Jones, and Paget Brewster. So let Mark and Hal take care of it for you on We Got This with Mark and Hal, weekly on Maximum Fun. Does our podcast deep dive into the weirdest Wikipedia pages we can find? Yes. Do we learn about scam artists, remote islands, horrible mascots, beautiful diseases, and mythical monsters? Yes, yes, yes, absolutely, and yes. Do we retain any of this knowledge? Probably not. I'm Emily Heller.

I'm Lisa Hanna-Walt. We make art and comedy and TV shows and also the podcast Baby Geniuses. For the past eight years, we've been trying to learn new things about the world and each other every episode. But let's be honest, this podcast is mostly about two friends hanging out, shooting the breeze, and making each other laugh. We're horny, we like gardening and horses, and we get real stupid on here. But like, in a smart way. Yeah, join us every other week on Maximum Fun. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jason Sklar, Randy's brother. Randy Sklar, kosher pickle. Now we're talking. It's actually kosher's pickle. Kosher's pickle. Yeah. Kosher's pickle.

Kosher pickle ball. Yeah, right ranny and jason podcasters both together the co-hosts of dumb people town alongside dan van kirk the aforementioned third wheel delightful hilarious man uh view from the cheap seats also sports every week this is what we do you've been on that show so much fun to sort of say these are the biggest stories in the world of sports and this is our take on it and i feel like we've figured out how to do that show i mean dumb people town is just wonderful in that the world is getting dumber as ocean levels rise iqs go down. There's a direct proportional diagram. Is there a recent, let me ask you guys this. So on Dumb People Town, you discuss the kinds of things, the kinds of little news stories that trickle in across this great nation of bank robbers tripping on their shoelaces or whatever but but more distinctive than that like a man who tried to rob a house with his cat yeah i mean that's just as the

weapon no it's like as an accomplice yeah you know what i mean cat burglar i think literally i did dumb people town not too long ago i had a great time and i think we discussed a robbery of i want to say a like mobile home that was converted into a leonard skinner museum yeah he had a cult on his property and like whenever someone's like i have a leonard skinner museum it's well, did you register any of that stuff? Did you get it done through a notary public? No, everyone knows what I got in there. Well, that's not going to itemize that for insurance or else you're just getting the flat amount.

It's great because it's like everybody and Jordan, you'll remember this. Like everyone was a little bit wrong. You shouldn't have had that stuff stolen, but you shouldn't have kept it in like a 18 wheeler on your property it's just nothing yeah listen we're not trying to victim blame no but like get your stuff in order if it's especially if it's really valuable i mean like there was a story we did about a guy who was trying to impress his 18 year old son and so he would steal cars and move them two streets over and then he would tell his son that he was stealing cars to impress i will never forget the guy who tried to impress his date and tried to jump from the roof of one building to another building he was on a first

date tried to jump from one building to another and i guess missed slid down the two buildings which got increasingly closer as you got down and he got stuck and they had to blow out the wall of a Kodoba to get him out of there. Wow. I was like. That amazingly was an improvement. Improvement on the Kodoba. That is a horrible wrestling.

Folks, I'm stuck in a kookaroo. This chicken is crazy. Stuck between a rock and a hard rock thank you george thanks joy very well very well sounds like we've got a a fourth third sklar brother oh no jordan was fabulous so good you guys both phenomenal but it's i like to i like to i go on that view view from the cheap seats and share my uh and share my uh fantasy tips we yeah we had an entire serious conversation about the giant there's a conversation about the giants which was so fascinating and so much fun to dig in we we had on the the woman who's on i don't know when this is going to drop but the woman who we had, who's a writer for the ringer, just wrote a book mirror and fader about, and it's, it's crazy.

We had her on, we interviewed her last week. It's going to drop this next Friday the third. And she wrote this book about Giannis and the whole book was about Giannis San Giacompo. And the, in the book, she mentioned how Jason kid was like a really tough coach on her as like a small passage and like it's taking off the book is like a new york times bestseller and everyone is like asking jason kidd questions and i'm like reading articles about jason kidd being like i don't know who this woman is i'm like you're the woman who was on our podcast so we do

go deep and like get you know but of course we always try and make it funny. I read those two paragraphs about Jason Kidd and I too thought they were insane and thought about buying the book on that basis. But you know what? Worth it. When he was 18 years old, Jason Kidd was rude to me at a pro-am game at Kezar Pavilion in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park. So I already knew. He told on himself as a teen. If that didn't get you, the domestic violence will. I didn't know about that.

So, okay, great. So that's settled. Not a good guy. Not a good guy. Sounds like we know about Jason Kidd now. Well, that's the point. But yes, we are doing our multiple podcasts, which are fun.

And we have a Patreon, which is Glowbrothers Patreon, which we are doing for the first time in 15 years, new episodes of Cheap Seats. Cheaper Seats. We did a high dive competition with dives so high. It was higher than Doug Benson at Burning Man. Thank you. It was so high. Thank you. It was really high.

183 feet. And you guys just moved over onto Patreon from OnlyFans. Is that correct? That's right. That's what it says here because of policy changes. Yes. No more nudity. No more nudity.

So we had to wrap it up. They said no more nudity and no more Johnny Carson impressions, right? Yes. And we said, that is wild. That is bizarre. You want me to put on a Nehru jacket? That is wild. That is bizarre. You want me to put on a Nehru jacket? That is bizarre. That is wild.

You're saying I can't show my pussy on the internet? That is weird. I'd like to show you my Ron Silver. My Johnny Carson impression. All right, Doc. Well, Randy and Jason, it's always a joy to have you on the program. And by always, I mean once every seven years. No, we'll come back soon.

We'll be back soon. Thank you for making the time away from your family. We're proud that you neglected your family to be here with us this evening. I got a bunch of emails I got to read now. Randy. Randy broadcasting from his library. Jason from his backyard. From the Blair Witch Project.

You're in my dining room right now. I got to say, Jason, you know how in the age of video conferencing, video conferencing, everything, you're always looking at what is behind people. Sure. You're thinking about whether or not you're impressed right right we take a look at the we say oh brian's got brian's got lime green curtains isn't that color a little 2005 we say to ourselves sure what do you think of the corner of my tiny house not afraid not afraid to read anybody i gotta say jason you got one of those restaurant style outdoor heaters you are living a very classy life charmed life you might be able to extrapolate from that came with one

time i saw like chuck schumer on like an msnbc thing and i literally the entire time i'm like shut the door to your hallway chuck i mean that metaphorically all right button it up brother turn off friends you're on television do i need to see nancy pelosi's fridge i think if we have learned anything i think if we have learned anything from the explosion of amateur pornography on the internet in the last 20 years it's how many people are fucking while friends is on yeah just why are you why do you have friends on they'll be there for you and maybe hey maybe it's just my search terms but i'm seeing a lot of naruto a lot of naruto back there that's right a lot of trouble with naruto well randy and jason squire

have been our guests on the program their shows shows are View from the Cheap Seats about sports, both comic and semi-serious, and Dumb People Town about the dumb things that people do here in America. And the world. What a joy it has been to have you, our producer on the program, Brian Sonny DeFernandez, Val Moffitt running the live stream. Look, we've been pretty consistent about putting out this stream of our Zoom. So if you want to check in and see what it's like when we're recording the program, just watch us pee in the whole nine yards in between segments. Facebook.com slash JordanJesseGo. And, you know, Sunday evenings is when we've been doing it. No promises,

but that's what we've been up to lately. We're on Reddit at maximumfun.reddit.com. Hashtag your tweets, JJGO at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne. Jordan has a brand new book in stores right now. He's been traveling bookstore

to bookstore autographing books by bubble if you're listening to this show look over two nearly two dozen people listen to jordan jesse go i want every single one of you to buy bubble because that's all it takes to get on the new york times bestseller list people don't read anymore you buy you buy the book. You write a letter to the New York Times. Let them know you bought it. That's how the system works. And the system does work.

If we've learned anything from the last few years here in America, the system works. System does work. Yeah, bubble. Yeah, it's out there. It's still very good. Yeah, and if you want a signed copy i'm trying to stop by like uh local bookstores and uh sign some copies and a lot of them ship so if you want yourself a signed bubble get at me on social media bother me bother me with all your bubble questions and

yeah and i'll let you know if there's a nice uh local indie you can support and get a signed copy shipped to you there you go i think that's probably most of the things. Oh, if you've got corrections for the program, we're so grateful for them. Tweet them at JDPower on Twitter. We like to assure quality on the program, and we will talk to you next time on Jordan Jessica.