Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 704: Sad Dad Parader with John Moe

Episode Date: September 14, 2021

John Moe (Depresh Mode podcast) joins Jordan and Jesse to talk about how John deals with fans who want to talk with him about their heavy mental health stories, how Jesse is within five minutes of becoming a marble collector at any second, and how to read the tea leaves of the Minnesota nice tone. Plus, Jesse reveals the nickname and THEME SONG that his mom used to sing to him when he was a kid. AND, the return of a favorite segment where we get to know our audience -- if you are a clergy person or if you are a principal or vice-principal, LET US KNOW!! Email us at [e-mail]!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, it's been a long time since I have opened the show by just listing what the weather is in Los Angeles. Let's do it, man. This will be a throwback for the fans, for the real ones. Real ones know.

Yeah, real ones know. Real ones know Jordan Jessico starts with weather talk. Yeah, real ones know that it used to have even less content. Somehow, it's like when a thermometer in a cartoon like the red line goes down and then it breaks through the bottom or like when uh when shaggy does a muscle and then it goes upside down that was what jordan jesse go was like right now we're a no muscle previously it was an upside down muscle, a downward pointing muscle. My mom would say about the weather in Los Angeles, Jordan, that it's hotter than the hinges of hell.

Oh, boy. I'm done. That's quite a momism. I know. My mom is full of, I mean, you know my mom. She makes up words. You met my mom. That doesn't seem made up.

That does seem like a folksy seem like a folksy like a folksy folk she drops folksy things but i mean i have literally had people who meet my mom she says something to them and then later they ask me what it was that she said her first language is english but the sheer volume of i mean the other thing that she will do is say people's nicknames that she has thought of right that only she uses she will use the nickname of someone you have not met and never heard of as though it's their name and as though you have exactly the same relationship to them that she does. Right. Yeah. There were whole communities of people when I was a child who believed her child's name to be Bundles Buntings. Because that was your nickname?

I don't know what it means. This is my nickname. Why are you using America's Radio Sweetheart when Bundles Bunting is right there? There was a song. Do you want to hear the song? Uh, oh, let's do I want to hear the song? Yeah, I guess. Oh, it's too late, Jordan. It's too late.

Well, all right. Let's hear the song. Bundles Bunting and the big band Sound play for children all over town. Oh, yeah. All the people they say Bundles Bunting is a friend today. Playing the songs that children love to hear. Loud and clear. Now.

That was my theme song. That was really good. It's like when John Travolta is like, you can tell by the way I use my walk. I'm a woman's man. Right. No time to talk. It's like that. Like when I would like, you can tell by the way I use my walk. I'm a woman's man. Right. No time to talk. It's like that. Like when I would enter a room,

that song would play, the Bundle Spunting song. Right, exactly. And the camera's zooming in on your famous buns and tight jeans. Yeah, exactly. Is that like a take on something? Or is it totally original?

I mean, it's a take on something? Is that a, or is it totally original? I mean, it's a take on me. I believe it to be original. Yeah. I wouldn't call it the most tuneful song. I thought it was catchy. Either in my rendition or as performed for me by my mother regularly when I was a child. So I can't say exactly what the melody is. I'm sure that coming out of your mom as a kid,

it was very sweet and loving. I could see a like distant recording of that playing in a haunted house being very creepy. Can we get in touch with James Wan and have him just stick a muffled version of the Bundles bunting song in the background of the next Conjuring movie? I think without my mom's nearly boundless supply of good humor. Yes. And I want to be clear. I don't mean funniness.

I mean conviviality. Positivity, good vibes. Yeah.'s what judy's bringing into the table i've only known judy to bring positivity and good vibes then that's generally the case uh but i do think that almost anything she said or did could be in a haunted house with like a five degree turn to the left. You know what I mean? Like it's really just a little, a little nudge on one side or the other. And it's terrifying. Man,

I was having a, it's funny you say that I was having a tough day the other day and I was kind of looking at myself in the bathroom mirror and I was, I splashed some water on my face and I opened the medicine cabinet. And then when I closed it, Judy's behind me in the mirror. Singing the bundles bunting song. Our guest on the program.

The jump scares are just cheap. You know, the jump scares are cheap. Our guest on the program this week is, of course, best known as the host of Weekend America. But in the time since he hosted the hit show Wits and the smash hit, uber successful, maximum fun program, Depressed Mode. John Moe. Hi, John. Hi, you guys. How are you? It's great to have you on the program.

Thank you for staying up for us and skipping band practice. Well, no, band practice got canceled because the bass player broke his leg in a mountain biking accident a while ago. And he's not entirely better. Here's what I want to know. Bundles sounds like a nickname form of a longer name. Yeah. Is it Bundleton Bundling?

It's Bundlesburg. Bundling. Bundlingham. Named after the German root beer or whatever. Yeah. Sounds like somebody Edward Norton would play in a Wes Anderson movie. I mean, let's be honest. I am someone Edward Norton would play in a Wes Anderson movie. I mean, let's be honest. I am someone Edward Norton would play in a Wes Anderson movie.

Maybe a little less, you know, on center in the frame. Yeah, you come into a room, things are symmetrical. You look horrified. You run out of the room. Thank you, Mr. Norton. King's song starts playing. My palate is less consistent, I would say. I don't have a color scheme, but besides that. John, I didn't know you were in a band.

I have been in bands as a hobby for over 20 years, for probably like 27 years in one form or another, the way some men and women are in bowling leagues or softball teams. My talent is limited. My ambition and the ambition of my friends is limited. And we sometimes play shows. It's been a while because of the COVID and because of Ennui. and because of Ennui. And recently, my band... Classic combo.

My band, Math Emergency, released its first ever album. So I've been at this for 25-odd years. First album just came out just before COVID and is available somewhere. So it's been the same band for 25 years? No, I had a band in Seattle, and then I left that world behind to move to Minnesota. And then after a while in Minnesota being bandless, a band sort of formed around me, where it was me, my friend Peter, and then a neighbor, Andrew, who has since broken his leg.

And Andrew is a math professor, you see, at a college. And he said, well, I know another math professor at a different college who can play drums. And so we are a band with an all math professor rhythm section. And I don't think even Metallica can claim that. I imagine that you recruited your band members by just taking out a classified ad that said, Dad Seeks Same. Yeah. No, it is a sad dad band. But I am in the business of talking about mental health a lot.

And you can actually chart the quality of my mental state by the lyrics that I've written over the years. So a few years ago, the songs were not good. Like they were about like aging people having nervous breakdowns. But the latest ones are more about like riding bicycles and waving to people. So yeah, the new songs are all about strolling with your hands clasped behind your back. Yes. And whistling a merry tune. Sure. How much you like chamomile tea. Yeah. I'm impressed, John, that Math Emergency is performing original songs. When you guys have a

gig, what proportion are originals? What proportion are covers? They're almost all originals. We do a couple of covers that we feel we could put a unique spin on. So we do, you know, the official band, as you know, of Sad Dads Everywhere is The National. Oh, yeah. I was going to say The Hold Steady, but yeah. Yeah, no, it's The National.

And so we do a version of their song Blood Buzz Ohio, but as a polka because we are in the upper midwest i might say i'm not to quibble here i might say the sad the hold steady is more the like childless uncle band yeah fair enough yeah no look these are great bands i have nothing against these they are two of my favorite bands in the world true truly great two truly great bands yes um now john john how would you characterize um math emergencies music is it like grindcore or is it more power violence it's uh it's psycho billy meets ah yes psycho billy happy hardcore Psycho Billy's friend. Happy hardcore. Yeah. Yeah. You guys opened up for the necromantics.

Yeah, it's like early REM, played late and in a hurry, pausing to make jokes. It's backpack shit, but there's a little horror core in there. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of a necro kind of. It's a little womp, jangle, and twang mixed with a woodpecker. Yeah. And there's a pedal steel in there. Honestly, John, old REM played fast is like, that's my ultimate genre of music you've just described.

Damn, do I need to start following you guys around in a van? Or the parking lot parties. Are the parking lot, can I score shrooms? Are the parking lot? Can I score shrooms? You can probably order a mushroom omelet when we play the Bryant Lake Bowl in Minneapolis. They have omelets. Now we're talking. They have omelets at the bowl. Yeah.

John, you're a national celebrity. Yes. But in Minnesota, where you live, you're probably the number one entertainer maybe top three with yeah with bill corbett and kevin murphy friends of this show yeah well since prince died we've had to reassess some rankings have been issued i mean i understand i understand kent herbeck does some fishing supply commercials of some kind yeah yeah no Yeah. No, you know, if Dan Gladden is wearing sunglasses, he doesn't get bothered. Um, you know, I, I've always appealed to a very special, uh, subset of a subset of a subset of, of public radio fans. And it used to be when I was doing wits, uh, more

full time, it was the, the comedy nerd and, and record collector subset. But since I've transitioned to my life calling of talking about mental health, I meet the fan and then I see it in their eyes that they're about to tell me the most horrible thing that's ever happened to them. Wow. You and Maria Bamford just living that life. Exactly, exactly. Do you have a... Wow. You and Maria Bamford just living that life. Exactly.

Exactly. Do you have a, I don't necessarily think this is something you should have a jokey answer for, but what do you do when that happens? Do you have a way you deal with that? That sounds super intense. I listen earnestly. I don't ask follow-up questions. I honor the fact that they've brought this to me. I would rather people don't really go into a lot of detail. In fact, when I give speeches, it's now built into my writer that afterwards I just can't mingle because it's actually Chris Gethard who told me about this because Chris had his show about suicide and depression. And he workshopped it

by traveling all over the country and doing Q&As afterwards. And he said, you know, after a while, you accrue the psychic damage of everybody that you talk to. And it's a lot to carry around. I actually had, for a while, I was really messed up because I would get emails saying, hey, you saved my life. If it wasn't for your show, the worst would have happened. And I'm like, what if I had had a sucky show? How much is riding on this? And I was talking to John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats because I was interviewing him. First Sad Dad Weekly. First Sad Dad, yeah.

Sad Dad Parader. Check out Fall's hottest new gleaming white shoes. Check out Howl's oldest flannels. Well, and I said know what do you do because you write these songs that you must have this effect and he says oh yeah well i just point out to people they're mistaken because he says all i did was write a song that you used i created a tool that you used to save yourself and you might not realize you were saving yourself because of the a tool that you used to save yourself. And you might not realize you were saving yourself because of the mental illness that you have. You're not giving yourself any credit for what you did. I just, you know, it's like a, an artisan making like a shovel, you know,

that, that that's, that's what we do. So that, that was a big, a big load off my mind. And then we met up with Jeff Tweedy for IPAs. There you go. There you go. Oh, yeah. That bar at the Botanical Garden? Yeah. All the Subarus parked out in front of it. Amazing birds there.

And you called it a night around nine. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's funny. That must be an intense thing to have happened to you and i was realizing as you were talking about that that i am very lucky that like you know only occasionally does someone come up to me and recognize you know me and want to talk about my things and it's always a nice interaction and it is always and the thing i brace myself for it's not

like it not like here's the you know story of my mental health but rather here is my idea for a podcast i haven't done yet yes and nine times out of ten it is i have a friend who hasn't seen a lot of movies and we're gonna watch the movies they haven't seen. Ooh. Yeah. Jordan, you're selling yourself short. I've heard people come up to you and talk about what your work means to them, how it got you through tough times. Remember that time we were in, gosh, I think it was, I think we were in Boston. We were doing our show in Boston.

That guy came up to you and he said, I was going through some really heavy stuff, but that time that that motocross guy punched you on Fuel TV really got me through it. I started, yeah. Aren't we all just a guy trying to interview a motocross guy who punches him in the face? The motocross guy represents life itself. Yes, thank you. We're all just interviewing a motocross guy represents life itself. Yes, thank you. We're all just interviewing a motocross guy,

and sometimes he answers your question, and sometimes he punches you in the fucking face. We have to face our own personal demons and our own personal motocross guys. We've all got a Travis Pastrana out there running up and punches in the face while we're trying to interview him. Because he thinks that's funny.

I pulled a muscle in my travis pastrana last week first like hell oh i got a cream i got a pastrana cream you can use oh really cream is good on pastrana too okay uh i actually have a sad dad i have a sad dad dad subject that has been stuck in my craw. And I don't mean to steal your signature segment, Jordan, stuck in my craw. It's okay. But there's one that I've been chewing over lately, which is my mother, the aforementioned Judy, has been, I guess, clearing her home in anticipation of death. Now, my mom is perfectly healthy. I want to make it clear.

My mom's doing great. She's as healthy as a person in their mid-70s could be. She's full of verve, pep, and as we said, good humor. But she's, you know, starting to look through her house and sell things or send things away a little bit, thinning the herd a little. and sell things or send things away a little bit, thinning the herd a little. And she emailed me and she said,

do you remember my bag of marbles? Um, which is what she called her bag of marbles. And, uh, I did like, we used to trade marbles when I was, you know,

seven years old or something. You and your mother would? Yeah, because she loves me and she had this bag of marbles. I would get some and we would trade them. It was like a sweet little, you know, mother-child thing to do. And I said, yeah, I would love for you to send me the marbles. Like that actually is something that has some emotional resonance for me when I was a kid. And she sent me the marbles. And I realized upon receiving the marbles that at any moment in my life I stand within five minutes of becoming a collector of marbles

that for some reason at any second I could accidentally start collecting marbles right so I was thinking about that I was worrying about that and i decided to go to the marbles subreddit there's a marble subreddit in order to lessen your chance of being a marble geek you went to a reddit group i wanted to i wanted to just take a a cold hard look at marbles you know what i mean right no nope no uh resonances there intended marbles can be any temperature um thank you jesse finally thank you thank you for saying finally someone's thank you thank you um thank you king you dropped this i'm holding up a crown thank you i made i looked at the marble subreddit. We have no choice but to stan a legend.

And I made a list here that I'd like to share with you guys. It's Jesse's top 21 types of marble. Ah, amazing. These are types of marbles, real types of marbles that I learned about. Countertop one of them. Amazing. These are types of marbles, real types of marbles that I learned about. Is countertop one of them? Absolutely not. Elgin is not one of them, John.

Top 21 types of marbles. Coming in at 21 is the classic Cat's Eye Marble. I can see why this show does so well. 21 marble types. I think you could maybe rephrase that. I can see this is why this show does so well. 21 marble times. I think you could maybe rephrase that.

I can see this is why this show does as well as it does. Yeah. And it is accurate. Yes. What do you got? What do you got? What are the marbles? Okay, so 21 is the classic cat's eye.

I think we've all heard of a cat's eye marble. Absolutely. Number 20. Number 20, clouds, which are both there in the sky and in the marble community. Yeah. Different things. Yeah. Number 19 is Lutz's, L-U-T-Z.

Love a Lutz. That's a pretty good one. So low on the list. It's an ice skating move, too. Yeah, absolutely. Put Lutz at least's a pretty good one. So low on the list. It's an ice skating move, too. Yeah, absolutely. Put Lutz at least 10. But again, different. Number 18, triple sow cow.

No, I'm just joking, guys. Number 18 is clearies. Yeah, I thought so. Clearies. Clearies. Of course it is. That's a Scientology marvel. Am I right, guys?

Oh, boy. Tug at collar. Number 17 is watermelons. Those aren't marbles. These are real. No, those are watermelons. Those are much bigger. It's unfair.

Right. You would crush all the other marbles. If you're using a watermelon in a game of marbles, you're getting yourself. Gallagher just lifted up his head somewhere. Gallagher's hands shoots out from in front of his gravestone and Gallagher's fine you summoned him

we said his name this is worse than when we talked about making fun of the candy man he steps in I'm surprisingly racist I'm from a different time a more racist time racists. I'm from a different time. A more racist time. Is that an excuse?

It's up for discussion. I'm going to smash your idealism. I do a lot of shows in Fresno. Okay. Number 16 is Oily's. Oily's is number 16. No, thank you. You don't like an oily?

That's both a type of marble and a type of middle schooler. I don't want that kind of texture. John, we disagree. I like it oily. All right. Well, you know. We can share. This is what trading is all about.

Right. I mean, you want an oily shooter, right? You must. I want an oily shooter. So you can squib it. Wait, what kind of show is this? Oh, it's a bad one. Yeah, I mean, it's the kind of show you're describing, John.

It's the kind that you're concerned about. Number 15, Turtles. Number 14, Comic Strips. Number 13 is, I know, right? No fucking clue. How is that possible? Number 13 is Spider-Mans. Not Spider-Men.

No, Spider-Mans. Spider-Mans, yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you this, Jordan. You can fit a lot of Spider-Mans in a Jamba Juice, am I right? That's true. That is a classic Letterman bit. Bring in Moses.

Bring in the wizards. Bring in the wizards. Bring in the wizards. Bring in the overweight Spider-Man. Yeah. Number 12 is Girl Scouts. Okay. There's also a type called Cub Scouts. That did not make the list, though.

Did not make the list. No, that's not top 21 material. You have to have standards. Number 11 is Onion Skins. Gross. That's the best marble to use if you want to add color to your stock and guys I just want to take a minute can you believe we're almost halfway done with the marble bit

what a ride who's going to be on there it's like the NBA draft who is yet to be called and who will not make the list who will get Patrick Ewing of all these marbles? I've got David Stern here to present the rest of the late David Stern. Again, reaching up one arm from the crypt to join us. Number 10 is toothpastes.

They just pick any noun. Number 8 is tables. Number five is pop cans. They're just looking around. Number nine, Benningtons. Love a Bennington. I mean, if you can afford it. If you can't get into the Middlebury marbles, you can just go to Bennington marbles. Bennington is a good marble if you like a frozen margarita.

Sure. Number eight. Number eight is Tom Bowler's. Oh, boy. Is that some sort of famous marble magnate? One word or two words? Tom Bowler's. Two words.

Tom Bowler. Tom Bowler's. It's named after Tom Bowler, who was a great marble nut. Marbleton Marbleman. It's a mispronunciation of tumbling. Tom Bowlers. It's named after Tom Bowler, who was a great marble nut. Marbleton Marbleman. It's a mispronunciation of tumbling. Tumblers. Yeah. That's also possible.

Jesse, before we get to the final list, which I think everybody's very excited about. Yeah. Can I hear a little bit about how you compiled the list? Now, is this an existing Reddit list where people voted? Did you kind of take a look at what people were posting and use your own judgment uh how did how did the list come together i think if you know anything uh about me and jordan you know a lot about me uh we've changed costumes backstage together right um you know that i'm all about editorial judgment of course um i do not believe

that's what you said to me every time we were changing costumes yeah i've just made a lot of rash assumptions about you but i feel like i'm caught up yeah no they were all correct cool perfect you know there's there's a lot of people out there who aren't exercising editorial judgment. I say you might as well use a random number generator. But here I am deciding what goes in big type at the top of the page. You know what I mean? It's a top 21 list, right? Yeah, absolutely.

Did you have 20 and then you just said, I got to just squeeze Cat's Eye in here? Yeah. No. You can't have a list without Tom Bowler. When it comes to lists, I'm forever 21, John. I'm Claire's piercing hut. Yeah, thank you. Number seven is Aggies.

Wait, I don't think we've heard how you compiled this. Yeah, I typed types of marbles into a search engine. Ah, I see. Yeah. I mean, I looked at a few different pages because, you know, crockery is not good. Like, that doesn't make the list. You know what I mean? Got to keep it to the solid gold like clouds and turtles.

Number six. Spoons and forks. Yeah. You're just still looking around your room. Yeah, I really am. Number six is clam broths. Come on. Yeah, it's real. I didn't make that up, John Moe.

Clam broths. Are these describing the design within the marble? I'm trying to envision how a marble is different. Is a clam broth like a cloudy, white, cum-filled marble? Wait, and is it New England clam chowder or Manhattan clam chowder? That's an important distinction. Jordan, I'm glad you brought that up because there's no question that clam broth is a cum word. Yeah.

Yeah. I know it's good that we're cataloging those. Add that to the list, Brian. Just go to r slash cum words too. This is different than my years in public radio. Sorry, John. Sorry, John. It is.

Bad news. Sarah Watkins isn't here. Oh, John. It is. Bad news. Sarah Watkins isn't here. Oh, man. Number five. Antique commies. Antique commies. Oh, man. Also known as wobblies.

No, not actually. If that's number five, are there four that are better than antique commies? I know, right? Can you believe Antique Commies got unseated? I mean, listen, I don't, maybe it's a political thing. Maybe the next four are going to be like really woke marble choices. Shiny Iliacazans. Roland McCarthy's.

Number four is Gooseberries. Gooseberries came in at number four. Well, it's a complex flavor. Right. Highly seasonal, tough to get. You have to know a berry farmer to get them. Is that Gooseberries? Gooseberries.

Yeah, that's correct. Gooseberries, yeah. Gooseberries. Yeah, Gooseberries. Yeah. We're saying different words. I mean, what is a podcast if not multiple people saying different words uh number three on the list is end of days whoa is that a black metal marble?

Yeah, I was going to say it's a promotional marble for that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where he fights the devil. Yeah, by punching him. It's a Norwegian black metal marble. I think it is. In jail for actual murder. Committed an actual murder. Schwarzenegger, yeah.

Killed one of those little goats he's got. Number two is Bumboozers. Oh, nice. There you go. Bumboozers. No notes on that one. That's good. Listen, could it be an old-time racial slur?

It might be. It probably is. I mean, which of these is definitely not an old-time racial slur? I mean, oilies, gooseberries, watermelons. Stop saying them. Stop saying them. Clouds. Like we're somehow in an 1830s Cockney brothel.

Yeah. 1830s Cockney brothel. Yeah. All of these, I think, can fairly be said to be either or both old timey racial slurs or words for cum. Sure. I think that's your top two things these could be besides marbles. Cockney slang for a hyper specific sex act. Yeah.

Number two. Number two is bum boozers. Number one, anals. Well, there you go. I'm just pulling your legs. Anals isn't a real one. The rest of them are real. Anal is having to do with butts and buttholes.

Number one is, of course, turd cutters. Anyway, that's Jesse's. That's a famous segment. Jesse's top 21 types of marbles. Wait, what was number one? I did it. There was not a real number one. Number one, I just said. Oh, so you didn't have, wow.

I just got it on the list here. Wait, so that resets everything. So that gives Bumboozers the title. Number one is anals. So one is an anal top 20. No, anal still wins. This is so, I mean, I would love it if, I don't know if you joined r slash marbles, Jesse, but I mean, I think this is worth posting on there

and, you know, with the kind of attitude that this is a definitive list and just see what kind of conversations it creates. Yeah, I would love to see that. Should we check back in on that next week? Yeah, I think let's do that. Let's definitely make this a recurring thing. Now, my Reddit username is just my actual name, so people will see through it.

Brian, I'm going to need you to post this list. I'll email it to you. Brian's on Reddit. He's all over Redditdit a brian storm or something along those lines brian's gonna brian's gonna post this on slash r slash marbles and we'll see you can say i was listening to this podcast called jordan yes he go it was a lot of fun they did a segment on this week's show about the top 21 types of marbles this was the list that they came up with.

What do you guys think? There is like going to be an army arising of old-timey orthodox marble enthusiasts who will not stand for this foolishness a moment longer as you besmirch the good reputation of marbles. John, I'm a heterodox marble enthusiast. What can I say?

I'm throwing curveballs. John, we're doing this show to try and get murdered. That's the goal of this. If you could get murdered by the most arcane enthusiasts possible. We've tried stamp collectors. We've tried coin collectors. We've tried Archie Comics fans. Opioid collectors.

Hypodermic needle fans. Gun owners. Murderers. Death fans. That's what we should have been doing, Jesse, trying to piss off gun owners. Gee whiz. What are we doing over here, Jordan?

Do you ever think you've made the wrong choices? No. You know, because you haven't pissed off gun owners enough. Let's try and pry those from their cold, dead hands. They hate that. Or do they like it? That's like literally the thing they like least, I would say. John, do you have any favorite types of marbles?

No. The spherical ones are nice. I am a fan of the term losing your marbles. That's a fun one. Sure. I know there's a lot of bad vocabulary that gets used in an insensitive way for mental illness. But I remain a fan of losing your marbles and I remain a fan of the word bonkers.

And I think I'm going to get in trouble at some point, but you're going to pry bonkers from my cold, dead mouth. So do you use that a lot on your mental health podcast? I sometimes do. Yeah. Yeah. Like that and flip your wig is another one.

These are good. I have an important hobby update for everybody. Oh, thank you, Jordan. There is an r slash pogs. The top post on r slash pogs made. Do you want to guess when the last post on r slash pogs made do you want to guess how how when the last post on r slash 712 days ago my first guess was gonna be 1992 you're both very go ahead but very close 22 hours ago okay great and somebody is selling uh a um a lot wait can i guess can i guess yeah yeah please

yeah what do you think they're selling it's a i'll say it's a link to to an ebay an ebay auction for a specific set of pogs i have a guess after jesse's guess yeah holographic elf slammers uh Elf Slammers. John, do you want to go next? Their dignity. John was actually closest, so he gets the points. It is actually a 24-piece Flippo Smith Pog Cap set featuring Chester Cheetah, the mascot of Cheetos. What is that going for? It is going for $14.14 US, and that's with $4.95 shipping. Oh, and it's been sold. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Wait, are you just on eBay? Is that where this whole thing is happening? Are you sure it's Reddit? So this was a Reddit link to an eBay auction. We once, Jordan, sent, John Hodgman and I once sent our producer, Jennifer Marmer, on a long and ultimately fruitless but paid search for custom pog manufacturers. Wow, nothing, huh?

We tried so hard to get Judge John Hodgman pogs made and just complete you would think you would think all you would have to do is go to your search engine and type in pineapple orange guava right and the custom pog manufacturers would roll in but it's simply not the case here's a post from r slash pogs. Thank you. Titled Skullduggery. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Is this pog drama? Does anyone remember a pog set called Skullduggery that had super well-done dark art?

I've been searching for them quite a while and never found anything. Zero comments. Oh, man. Jesus Christ. Do you ever feel like there's just too many words that are out there? We've gone through all these marble

names and now we're into Pog Arcana. John, please get off your language. Get off your less words soapbox. We already heard about it earlier. We know that you want to have one word with a variety

of inflections. Yeah, yeah. As a book writer, it would make my job much easier. Oh, yeah. That's very true. Jordan, can you check if there's a subreddit for PogAITA? What's that? That's for finding out if you're the pog asshole.

Right, yeah. I told my girlfriend. My girlfriend brought home a set of 24. And I traded two for some holographic elf slabs. My girlfriend is theoretical. I want you to understand that. Right. By girlfriend, I mean stack of Chester Cheetah pogs.

And yes, I fuck it. I play pogs against a Kathy Ireland poster. And I lose. And she usually wins. Okay, we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective now jordan every episode of Jordan, Jesse Go is supported by the listeners of Jordan, Jesse Go, the members of MaximumFun.org, the kind folks.

Oh, oh, we love them. We love them like a Kathy Ireland poster. Has that come up in the show yet? Or is that a call forward? We record the ads after the show. I honestly couldn't tell you. Well, if you haven't heard about Kathy Ireland yet, you might in the next segment. Or you have before, and that was a fun callback. One of the two. I think it stands on its own two legs.

Everybody loves Kathy Ireland posters. One of the classic babes. One of the classic babe posters, I guess I should say. Absolutely. You know what? How about this? Love them. We love them like we love Ferrari Testarossa posters.

Oh, yeah. Do we love them more than Jordana Brewster posters? That's going to come up later in the show, too. It's going to come up right at the end. Stick around for the credits. We're also supported this week by the good folks at raycon they make these god oh these are gorgeous earbuds oh look at these these are the kathy ireland of earbuds la la jesse i had some raycons crammed in my little ear holes just this morning you gave him one of these and one of those. Oh, yeah.

That's all the different gel tips being inserted for your comfort. Yeah, Raycon, they are... Listen, I love wireless earbuds. I love them. I go for a run with them. It's a big part of my routine. And these Raycons are really great.

No matter how you're feeling about getting back out there, there's no denying it's an adjustment. Big part of my routine. And these Raycons are really great. No matter how you're feeling about getting back out there, there's no denying it's an adjustment. When the world gets too loud, create your own soundtrack with Raycon wireless earbuds. Oh, Jordan, you know why I like to use my Raycon wireless earbuds? When? When I'm walking over to the Montecito Heights Recreation Center.

That's a great time to use some Raycons. Love to use them. Love to use them at the rec center. They got somebody left a horseshoe at the horseshoe pitch, so I went ahead and pitched it. That sounds like a lot of fun. What was playing in your Raycons while you were pitching your shoe? I was listening to a podcast. Let's say it was depression mode with john mo

there you go yeah uh yeah raycons great for podcasts great for tunes audio books it all comes through on the raycons yeah thank you very much uh they got a 32 hour battery life so you can listen to what you want when you you want, for a really long time. And they start at half the price of other premium audio brands, but they sound just as good. Create your own soundtrack with Raycon. Right now, Jordan Jesse Go listeners can get 15% off their Raycon order at buyraycon.com slash jjgo.

That's buyraycon.com slash jjgo to save 15% on Raycon.com slash JJ Go. That's buy Raycon.com slash JJ Go to save 15% on Raycons. Buy Raycon.com slash JJ Go. Raycon, more than just a defense contractor. They're really good. I actually love, I do, I really like the Raycons. I recommend the Raycons. Manscaped, also a supporter of this week's program. If you know anything about Jordan, Jesse, go.

You know we like to keep it tight down there. We keep it tight, we keep it tidy, and we keep it fresh. Hey, it's back to school time, and we want to make sure you pack the essentials to have the best year yet. The Manscaped fourth-generation performance package is just that. Fell that fellas go for the and i just want to say i am reading copy yeah so this isn't something that you wrote this is something

they hired blaine kapach to write so this and sometimes you know you read the copy and you're like okay this isn't really in my voice i maybe would want to change this a little bit. No! Sometimes the copy is so good you read it verbatim. Here it is. Fellas, go for the Valedictorian of ball trimming by going to manscaped.com with the code JJGO. Jesse, I know I talked about using our other sponsor today. I've used this sponsor today. I've manscaped.

Yeah. Here's the thing. Manscaped, it's a great way to keep your business clean, fresh, and it's kind of fun to do. Jesse, back me up. Manscaping with manscaped, kind of fun. It is. It really is.

Because I'll tell you why. The number one reason is you get a feeling of satisfaction. You've really achieved something. That's the number one reason. The number two reason is if you use a rival brand, it's probably not waterproof. It probably says water resistant or some other bullshit. Okay. You can take that manscaped right into the shower because otherwise your shortened curlies are everywhere.

Manscaping in the shower is, it's a dream. It's like a little vacation you go on within your shower and at the end of the vacation, your balls look pristine. Now I know you're saying I already achieve a lot in the shower. I wash my butt. Right. You could be doing more.

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waterproof get 20 off plus free shipping with the code jj go at manscaped.com look jordan yes whether you're headed back to school or you've been expelled from school, get 20% off plus free shipping with the code JJGoAtManscaped.com. That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code JJGoAtManscaped.com. This year, graduate with a degree in clean balls from Manscaped. Thanks to Blaine Kapach for writing that copy. Big salute to our friend Blaine. We really appreciate it. That's manscaped.com and use the code JJGO for 20% off.

Now, can I just clarify one thing, Jordan? Yes. Don't order it from the shower. Use it in the shower. Unfortunately, cell phones have not gotten to the technology level that Manscaped is at. Yeah, I found that out the hard way.

Boy, howdy. Hopefully someday, but no. Once you're out of the shower, you order it up, and then take it in the shower, give them a trim. You'll thank us later. Yeah, then deodorize them. Don't want stank balls. You gotta deodorize. Yeah, just do the whole thing. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan,

Jessica. It's Jordan Jesse Goe. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. John Moe, hot man. Wait, is it hot man summer? Is that what we're doing here? Hot man.

You're the hot man. I've had various pejorative nicknames in my life, and I told my wife, I'm going on this podcast. They're going to ask me about some sort of nickname. And she said, well, just use the name that I have for you on my phone. When you call, it says hot man. That's me. Was that because you failed to introduce yourself when the two of you met? So she just put it in as Hotman?

You know, we met in 1990, so I don't think she had a phone to put it into. She put it into her car phone. Her Rolodex. She put it onto her landline with a very long extension cord. Ooh, Hotman's calling. I wish I would get a text long extension cord. Right. Ooh, Hotman's calling. I wish I would get a text from Hotman. I never get a text from Hotman. See, it catches on.

Hotman doesn't need to text you back. Hotman hits it and quits it. I might go with the classic pronunciation of Hotman, so it sounds more like a last name. Right, yeah. No, I'm going gonna go back to hot man two words yeah john q hotman i think hotman is i mean to me hotman is somebody who's performing at reggae sun splash judge john hotman that's me oh yeah sure uh when something momentous happens to you. Hot man!

Sorry. When something momentous happens to you, 206-984-4FUN is the number to call. You're a hot man and you have tight buns. But you know it don't matter anyway. You can rely on your tight turd cutter. You can rely on your tight turd cutter. You can rely on your tight turd cutter. You're a hot man. Hot man. And you have tight buns.

And you film those buns you walk around. I don't know. It's not perfect. Bunny, bunny, bunnies won't get you too far, get you too far. Cut those tur turns with your butt. Okay. I don't want to do the show

anymore. I mean, I quit the show like 20 minutes ago. I'm not sure where I am. I lost my marbles. You peaced out. I flipped my wig. You lost your bazoongas and your high bennies and your bumboozlers, John.

Bumboozlers. Your elbow tossers and your pointy needles. My new quiz is going to be... Your ejaculates. Type of marble or weapon from the Butter Battle book. Okay. Let's hear a momentous occasion. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Chelsea from Minnesota. I've got a momentous occasion. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Chelsea from Minnesota.

I've got a momentous occasion. I preached my first sermon yesterday. And don't be worried. We're a queer-affirming, trying-to-be-anti-racist church. And I was excited. And I'm sorry I didn't bring Jordan Jesse Go up in the sermon. But I want to be ordained more than give you guys some talk about all the podcasts. Okay, thanks. Bye.

Yeah, Chelsea, I'm going to be frank with you. Because it's all I know, really. I'm known as a straight shooter. It's kind of bullshit in your band from listening to the show. You can't listen to the show anymore these guys hate god well no we like we like publicity we like free press the best publicity is any publicity it's the famous saying um i feel like we have we am i am i misremembering this do we have had a couple of, like, I'm a new clergy person calls lately? Do we have an inordinate amount of new clergy people who listen to this show?

Yeah, we had three rabbis, an imam, and incredibly six Zoroastrians. Wow. And the bartender says. And one horse. We had one horse as well. Why the long podcast? One horse. Oh, we started it before there were other podcasts.

Is the punchline to that gag. That's interesting. I know we had the bit we were doing for a while where we were kind of trying to guess how many people who listen to the show have been on a battleship and how many people worked at Ren Fairs or something. Do we have a big clergy audience we're not catering to?

I think we have 25 people of the cloth listening to this show right now 25 people of the cloth right now that's what i think you guys if you're catering to the clergy i can make a hot dish thank you very minnesota clergy humor ish. Thank you. Very Minnesota clergy humor. I'm there. The mantle has fallen in recent years, so I'm here. Yeah, I would be interested to hear from clergy

people, and I think unlike this bad caller who called with their bad call, I would like to hear how you might be incorporating the show into your sermons you know like lessons we've taught you um parables yeah i would can i expand this by example sure so i think number one any kind of clergy person who's speaking publicly uh number two principals at assemblies will also accept vice principals yes and also i wanted to just draw the line i think we're probably going to

have a lot of people dialing up because like oh i got the universal life thing to do my friend's wedding no it doesn't count we we reject the universal life church and all its teachings yeah i don't know if they're good or bad i don't know anything about them i gave them a buck so i could do my friend ian's wedding so yeah jordan you're in the universal death church am i right that's right i love death i'm in the very narrow and specific life church right non-universal. Non-universal. Not for everybody. Yeah. And we've finally completed the humor. Right. So anyway, principals, vice principals. Do you think there's more principals than vice principals?

Or do you think there's more clergypersons? I think there's more clergy. I think there's more clergypersons. Yeah. Really? And I think there's more vice principals than principals. Just overall in the world? Yeah. Because there's usually like. I think there's more clergy persons. Yeah. Really? And I think there's more vice principals than principals. Just overall in the world? Because there's usually like two vice principals, right?

Oh, no. I mean, who are listening to the show. Ah. Well, there's a chain of command because the vice principal is there in the event that the principal is politically assassinated. Right. Yeah. That's why they can't be in the same building together.

That's right. They have to travel in separate cars. Principal, vice principal, social studies is number three. Right. Football coach. Well, and that's why when the principal addresses the school, there's always one math teacher who stays behind. They're like the designated survivor. Yes. Right. stays behind they're like the designated survivor exactly yes right uh it's amazing that you

i think gutsy that you have both math teachers in your band john oh yeah there's not well and the other two of us are are uh former public radio people and uh podcast people so yeah it's a great contrast do you have any do you have are you guys talking great contrast. Do you have any, do you have, are you guys talking about shows? I know you have, you got the album to promote. Are you talking about doing a live show, an outdoor show, something like that? Yeah, we're planning to do a live show.

We're hoping for this fall, but it'll probably be pushed to the winter. Winter's going to be great. That's when you want to rock. In Minnesota, you know, you go indoors and you listen to music. And you go outdoors and you die in a ditch. Oh, you guys are fucking hardcore, dude.

Classic Universal Death Church shit. Exactly. Let's take another call. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. Hey, guest. Who I'm going to guess is Travis McElroy. My name is Matt from Nashville, Tennessee,

and I'm calling with a momentous occasion. I signed up for my first real world adult person credit card instead of one of those shitty $200 limit high school credit cards. And it was pretty exciting. I called on my 30 minute lunch break and the woman on the other end of the phone made me 20 minutes late for clocking back in because she would not stop telling me how much she loved kid rock and she kept saying that she loves kid rock because he's so patriotic um i guess loving america is what does it for some people, you know, whatever works, I guess. But yeah, there's that. Love you guys. Love the show.

Heart is a rock. What is a river? Thanks. Can I just say he got rid of his prepaid Rush card because it was canceled. Thank you. He canceled his Rush card. Thank you. Russell Simmons is canceled. He invented the Rush card. Thank you. Russell Simmons is canceled.

He invented the Rush card. Okay, go ahead. Oh. Yeah. We're not talking about the Canadian band, I bet. No. That would be great, though, if they had their own credit card. They probably do.

Jordan, go to slash r slash Rush credit card. R slash. Let's see. No, nothing here. We got to start it. Brian, can you do me a favor? When you post that list to slash r slash marbles, could you cross post that over to slash r slash Boz Skaggs? Because I think they're going to want to know about that.

I think they're going to want to know about that. They reminded me. I think I left my credit card at a restaurant. I think I left my credit card at a restaurant. I think I left my credit card at Rafi's place. Oh, Jesus Christ. You had lunch with Buzz Skaggs? God, he didn't show. I was at there.

I said, table for two. And then just the candle burned down. I'm going to take advantage of my guest spot on this show to tell a very brief Buzzz Skaggs story. Thank you, John. Which is that I once worked at a summer camp, and a lot of rich kids went to this summer camp. A lot of blue-eyed soul singers went to this summer camp. Their kids did.

And my friend Brian was the counselor to Boz Skaggs' son. And Boz Skaggs's son was not having he was not a happy camper he wasn't having a good summer and uh boz was on top of this situation was concerned and so one day i saw brian walking up the hill towards the office of the camp and i said oh hey what you doing you look you look bummed out what's going on and he said the the only sentence i've never heard anyone else say this sentence. I got to call Boz Skaggs. And he went up that in my heart for over 30 years now.

Oh, man, I have to call Bobby Caldwell. Bob Welch. Call each member of the Silver Bullet Band individually. Peter Green wants to talk to me. I'm sorry to hear that a bad time at camp was had by Moz Skaggs. I think it was Austin Skaggs who went on to be a Rolling Stone writer. Oh, good for him. He's turned around, I guess.

God, I bet if you're Boz Gag's kid, you've got the direct number to the HR department at Rolling Stone. Just give him a call. Say hi. Just tell him you're ready to start. I'm from the Skaggs family. You work in the mailroom for like a customary month, you know. Yeah.

And then they kick you up a notch. And then you become a united states senator yeah right what do you want to name your son mr mrs skaggs i think boz yeah that got said what's a harsher word than skaggs we want it to be more harsh than our last name what sounds like an upsetting mountain range. Sure. An upsetting mountain range. I was four-fifths of the way up, and I ran out of energy bars. Make it sound like a disease you get at sea. A bad case of Bob's scab. I had to eat the silver bullet band. Right, yeah. at sea. From a porpoise.

I had to eat the silver bullet band. That's Bob Skaggs' band. Am I getting that right? That's Bob Seger's band. Bob Seger! I'm sorry. Bob Skaggs is a solo act, baby. All that guy needs is a beat. Well, he had Bob Skaggs and the Craggs.

Yeah. I'm making that one up. It's fun. Remember when I said anals? Yeah. So we've both made something up. We've had a lot of fun here, but there's a lesson in all this.

Don't play around in abandoned refrigerators. John, you're new to this show and uh we're self-effacing right but the reality is that we're really great at formatting our show we come up with a lot of great original ideas that become recurring segments on the program um they call them evergreens in the business john it's wells that we can always go back to the audience loves them we love we love them it's sort of like jaywalking you know what i mean or what's my beef yeah by the way uh i i saw an article the other day that said jay leno is ready for his return to daily television when was jay leno not ready for that? Man loves you.

Loves being on television daily. Jay Leno like, I don't want to be on television. I want to perform at the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. I'm working on my concept album. Folks, have you heard about my concept album? I play the theremin. He was just at home touching his Tonight Show money. Caressing his denim car.

Denim car. Steam-powered denim car. Just shoveling coal into the back pocket. Denim car. Great Bob Seger. Boscac's album. That was their best album together. It would be a better Bob Seger album, I think, Jordan.

I think you're right to go that direction. Thank you. So anyway, here's one call for one of our segments that we thought of. Hello, Jordan and Jesse and esteemed guest. This is Jess from Medford calling in for your signature segment, Podcast Moments My Baby Loves. Medford calling in for your signature segment podcast moments my baby loves Lee is almost eight months old and I listen to JJ Go and a bunch of other Max Fun podcasts around him because he typically takes absolutely no notice of them but he absolutely loves listening to the interstitial music love you by the free design

so we actually bought the album because he likes the song so much whenever we're listening to the podcast i have to hit the back button every time the interstitial music plays so he can enjoy it and listen so thank you so much for introducing that to us oh um and as for your other signature segment podcast moments my baby hates uh lee does not like it when jordan or jesse creates a quiz that is just a long list of ridiculous names because apparently i laugh too loud and it is very very scary but i'm going to ask you to disregard his opinion on that matter love you guys keep it up now babies babies babies right from the mouths of babes that's what i say that's not if the baby listens to the show too much its first words are going to become words

yeah we don't want that by the way do want that. I think it's good. You do know how babies get made, right? No. Please explain it to me. I can't find a subreddit for it. I've been all over r slash pogs, r slash Archie Comics. No one will explain it to me. R slash baby

Huey. That doesn't help. Yes. None of the Harvey characters will explain fucking to me. Casper, Richie Rich't help. Yes. None of the Harvey characters will explain fucking to me. Casper, Richie Rich, help me out. Speaking of from the mouths of babes, Kathy Ireland beat me at Pogs and told me to suck it.

Yeah. Wow. Classic 90s babe. Classic babe. Cardboard beer display babe. Who's your top childhood babe, John Moe, or adolescent babe. Who's your top childhood babe, John Moe? Or adolescent babe? Who's your top babe age 13? Age 13.

11 to 13. 11 to 13. I wasn't a Farrah Fawcett guy. I was sort of Jacqueline Smith, sort of Kate Jackson. And I think this might have been a little bit- Are you listing folk singers now? I do not know these people. Yeah, I don't either.

I've heard of Farrah Fawcett, but- These are the original Charlie's Angels. Okay. Oh. God, okay. But you know what it was for me? I realized my type because in later years, I'd be a Winona Ryder fan.

But before that, Joyce DeWitt. Oh, sure. The Three's Company. Joyce DeWitt. Don't give me any Suzanne Somers. I want the short-haired, sassy Joyce DeWitt who would apparently never make any kind of show or movie ever again the rest of her life. You don't need to.

You said what you had to say. She's just at home touching Jay Leno's Tonight Show money. Yep, she's riding shotgun in the denim car. if you know what I mean. She's not ready for her return to daily television. Right. Okay, 206-984-4FUN is our telephone number.

And Jordan, it's on right now because I'm going to ask people to email JJ Go at Maximum Fun. You know how Brian's been really busy lately? I don't know. I don't have a shared Google calendar with Brian. I don't know what Brian's up to. You don't have a shared Google calendar with Brian? No. Who are you sharing your Google calendar with?

Jennifer Marmer? She works on Judge John Hodgman. No, it's Bob Skaggs, and he still can't remember to meet me at Rafi's place. You work at Rafi's place. Did I leave my credit card there? still can't remember to meet me at rafi's place you work at rafi's place did i leave did i leave my credit card there i should probably call r slash rafi's place yes r slash rafi's place is there can we do a thread of lost credit cards people who left their credit it was friday i

think i was there on friday let me leave my credit card number on this reddit thread and you tell me if you've seen it thank you that's a great idea. By the way, I found a credit card at the park. So if anyone listening is C Rodriguez Marquette of Tishmar limited, uh, here's the card. Uh, I've been trying to do some, uh,

internet research, but if you find C Rodriguez Marquette of Tishmar limited, just let them know. I found their credit, their business credit card at the park. I'm glad Tishmar respects. Just let them know. I found their business credit card at the park. I'm glad Tishmar respects boundaries and stays limited. Exactly.

We can't have unchecked Tishmar. Previously, Tishmar was having extraordinary liability issues. Their business is taking scissors to seatbelts, so they needed to limit that liability. It's hard to find clients, really, who are willing to hire you for that. Well, there are some members of the Universal Death Church.

Right. Yeah. It's a boutique business. Not to kink shame. Okay, this is what I want people to do. Email jjgoe at maximumfund.org. And if you're a member of the clergy, any faith except for paid $5 to do a wedding, any real faith, Zoroastrian, and we're counting what I would call soft faiths, such as Unitarian Universalism or B'nai B'haith.

What's that called? B'nai B'rith? B'nai B'rith, yeah. Yeah. B'hai. I think you're looking for B'hai. B'hai B'rith. B'nai B'rith, yeah. Yeah. B'hai. I think you're looking for B'hai. B'hai B'rith. Thank you, John. No, there's no B'rai.

Oh, that's an award you win. The B'hai faith. Faiths that are mostly just about being positive about other faiths, but there are regular events that you go to. You know what I mean? If you listen to the band Faith No More, do not write in.

Yes. If you're the president of an atheist club, you're out. You do not email us because that would get thousands of emails if we let presidents of atheist clubs email us for this segment. How about the Jedi folks?

Because Jedi is a religious... No, that is not a real religion no spaghetti monster no spaghetti monster people klingons are out people who are really into catholics yeah no cat yeah none of these crazy sci-fi ones have you been to catholicon by the way it is a good time man but it smells in there yeah it's tough air out the robes padre little baby powder in there cardinal oh this is a question do we take satanists are satanists no unless you are going to one event a week or more and you're a leader in that community, it doesn't count.

If you really have a weekly Satan meeting and you are the one who passes the conch, you start with the conch and pass it around. Make sure it gets put away afterwards. That counts. There needs to be a potluck held on the calendars. put away afterwards. That counts. There needs to be a potluck held on the calendars. Somebody needs to bring in brownies somewhere for it to be. If there's a hot dish.

If there's a hot dish involved. If there are potato chips on top of the hot dish, then you're in good shape. John, does hot dish always have tuna fish in it? No. When I went to Minnesota and I ate a hot dish, it had tuna fish in it. No, When I went to Minnesota and I ate a hot dish, it had tuna fish in it. No, there's so much to it.

We had lived in Minnesota for 10 years. We decided to hold a hot dish party. We invited all of our friends because we thought this would be campy and kitschy and funny. What we didn't remember was that our friends were Minnesotans who took hot dish very seriously. People arrived with multiple hot dishes, variety of hot dishes, many of them really good. And then when we decided as a joke, as a fun party game to vote on the best hot dish, it got very tense at our party.

Because shit got real Minnesota nice in in there yeah it wasn't it wasn't are there like are there like restaurants now that do like hipster riffs on the like casserole like is there a place in minneapolis that's that does like a deconstructed uh you know ham salad or something not that i know of there was a place in seattle where a lot of minnesota expats would go that would have the hot dish they had pizza in the shape of a square they had the whole minnesota thing but uh i've never seen a hot dish on a menu here i'm sure it's there at the fair at the state fair you could get fried hot dish on a stick but i don't really know or want to know

what that is. Can I ask you one, before I get to the second half of the thing I've been trying to say for 30 minutes, can I ask you one Minnesota question, John? Yes. You've lived in Minnesota a long time now. You're a former Seattleite, but you've been in Minnesota for quite a while. long time now former seattleite but you've you've been in minnesota for quite a while um you you were you you were living in minnesota for public radio reasons uh big public radio outfit uh the one that served me that tuna fish hot dish uh is based there my former my former public radio overlords, Public Radio International, were also based there. So this is a question about all the times that I went there and went to their office and had a bunch of meetings. Did they like me or hate me?

I have no fucking idea whether they liked me or hated me. Are you talking about PRI or MPR? PRI, the ruling party of Mexico. No, PRI, Public Radio International, not the PRI. PRI, I would go to these meetings and they would give me these inscrutable Minnesota tones. I truly could not tell whether or not they, very sincerely.

Yeah, you're talking about reading the tea leaves of Minnesotans. I've tried for years. I'm not native to it. I often have, when we moved here in 2008, my daughter was born two months after we arrived. So she is born on Minnesota soil. And I don't know why they didn't let us go to a hospital. They're right there in the soil. And to be fair, she's an onion.

Well, and she's now 13. And I can, I'll sometimes say, what does this Minnesotan mean? And she'll translate it because she grew up with it. The only time I was ever in the studios of Public Radio International, Jesse, was for an interview with you. So that's the extent of my PRI knowledge, except for discussions we've had about how many people actually listen to the world versus feel like they ought to listen to the world. There was a guy who, well, they got to learn about global music. If they didn't listen to the world, John,

if they didn't listen to the world, how would they know that there's rappers in Cuba? Or every African country, alphabetically. This is a little The World humor, Jordan. Oh, I listen to The World. I'm familiar with those types of segments. There was a nice... I mean, I don't listen to it all the time. I feel like I should listen to the world i'm familiar with their those types of segments there was a nice i mean i don't listen to it all the time i feel like i should listen to it more than i do there was a nice man at uh public radio international who had bought a a modular

studio for them they were a radio international radio network uh that had no studios so he bought one of those ones like the ones we have at max fun like the kind of cardboard ones with uh some um uh egg crates stapled to the side it was a very nice man i had a very uh uh sort of a 60-ish year old man had a funny beard and i had known him for a long time uh and one day he just mentioned that he had just finished building a plane wow i was like what the fuck how come you never brought up plane building before it's his only way of getting out of holy shit okay anyway uh two types of people i would like to email brian number one put clerk Brian. Number one, if you're a member of the clergy, put clergy in the subject line.

Clergy, put that in there, and then in the body of the email, tell us what kind of clergy you are. And if you want to tell us about typing, put in qwerty. Or dvorak, depending on how nerdy your computer is.

So if you're a member of the cloth of whatever faith, put clergy at the top there. And in the body, just write Zoroastrian or whatever your faith is. And then if you're a principal or vice principal, put principal or vice principal in the headline. And then just write something dumb a student did in the body. You know, that's just a little something for daddy. You know, just want to laugh at some teens, prove that I'm better than them. They can't look at me that way. You know, that kind of

pathetic like if you can have something contempt if you can have contempt for something that's invisible that's the kind of look i'm talking about i gotta put these fuckers in their place so whatever dumb thing on their permanent record exactly whatever dumb fucking thing a kid you know did put that in the body of the email but in the subject of the email put principal or vice principal and we're going to find out jordan whether there's more whether there's more priests etc or principals and vice principals and i'm talking about any level i'll also accept deans if you're a dean including dean of students which i don't even know what that is. Dean Stockwell? Yeah, who knows?

Yeah, if Dean Stockwell's listening or Dean Martin. If you're the ghost of Dean Martin, go ahead and... One more hand rising from the grave. Can I say this? I must slay Gallagher. I hear he has risen. Gallagher, what are you doing here? I must defeat my moral.

There's going to be only one. Paula Deen, don't email us. You're canceled. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. You're canceled. Okay.

Thanks, dude. Finally. Why don't you go put some butter in some meat? Wow. Wow. She's burnt. Finally. I could have said she was canceled for using the n word

no she's actually canceled for using too much butter in her recipes yeah yeah we don't enjoy your recipes you can't live or anything these days you know what canceled just based purely on their words and actions yeah that's a shame what's that guy who said boom a lot and then he got a sitcom? Emeril. Yeah, Emeril Lagasse, don't email us. You're canceled. Wow, you just canceled him.

Said boom too many times. Canceling celebrity chefs left and right. Was that Dabney Coleman? Yeah, that was Dabney Coleman, I believe. Celebrity chef Dabney Coleman. Yep. I think we just made a million dollars john welcome to boom celebrity chef with dabney coleman yeah i'm paula dean anyway

confused so are we but hey we sold it to peacock that's right whatever whatever paramount plus is they gave us a million dollars. So thank you for that Quibi check. We've got five seasons, but there are only three episodes. Can I tell you this? I got a Roku. You know what a Roku is? A streaming device, a Roku.

Sure. I've been using Roku for a while. Inside my Roku is a button called Roku. And if you click it, you get Quibi. Yeah, that's where all the quibis went that is the grave that the quibis will rise out of to slay gallagher the quibis the quibis live in roku on my roku mike you got to tape up the sides of your roku remote or the quibis will just get fucking all over the place i watched game show g-a-y-m-e show and inside my uh inside my roku and i watched some of those uh reno 911s still works still

very funny reno 911 yeah uh my first the first streaming thing i had was a roku so it was like you know roku very very 1.0 and it had those kind of shortcut buttons to the streaming devices and for the longest time, I was using a Roku that still had a blockbuster button. Oh, yeah. We got one of those. It had a blockbuster on-demand button. And when I pushed it, it showed me my own death.

We just made another million dollars, Jordan. My own death. Surprise surprise our erotic association so principals and vice principals and clergy members email jj go at maximumfund.org put your job either clergy or principal or vice principal in the subject line and then and then in the body in the subject line and then quit that job. In the body, tell us about either something stupid. I changed it. Put your faith. Put your faith. And then something stupid a member of your group did.

We won't associate your name with it. We'll just give your initials. If you're a principal, give your religion. Yeah. Right. What do you believe? Then renounce it and talk about something stupid you did when you were outside the purview of God. That's too many rules.

Tell us. Tell us. Okay. If you're a principal or vice principal, tell us who you changed the election results for homecoming king and queen from and to. Who did you fake count? No. I want, this is what I want. I want the email.

I want clergy or principal or vice principal in the subject. Then in the body, I want your faith and something stupid someone in your flock did. And if you're a principal or vice principal, I want the level at which your principal or vice principal, remember, goes all the way to dean, and then something stupid that one of your kids or your charges did. JJ, go at MaximumFun.org. We'll find out in about two weeks

who's right and who's wrong. About which religion to be a part of? Yeah, the winning religion is the one true religion. Yeah. Shout out, by the way, to Mr. Pannon. Facebook keeps suggesting I become friends with Mr. Pannon from my high school. You gonna do it?

I don't know. I'm friends with Mr. Reher. Isn't that enough? I bet Mr. Braunschweig would be, he'd be down to be friends with me on Facebook. Oh, yeah, but they're posting some nasty shit, huh? Yeah. Mr. B. Shout out to Mr. Braunschweig would be down to be friends with me on Facebook. Oh, yeah, but they're posting some nasty shit, huh? Yeah. Mr. B.

Shout out to Mr. B. Who do you think would be more likely to be friends with me on Facebook? Mr. B? That's Mr. Braunschweig. Or Mr. D. That's Mr. DeFrandeville. I think everybody wants to be your friend, Jesse. What happened to Mr. Pannone?

Yeah, Mr. Pannone doesn't want to be friends with me. What happened to Mr. Pannone? Mr. Pannone doesn't want to be friends with me. I was busy trying to decide whether I would attempt an Anna Nancy Wilson heart version of how can I get you Pannone. Thank you. I think it's out of my range. Yeah. Can I tell you how you get them Pannone? Go ahead and use some clam juice.

Ah, there you go. Am I right? Okay, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. Why? No one knows. I'm Jesse Thorne. This week on Bullseye, David Byrne on the talking heads, easing back into live performance, and the magic of doo-wop. You don't get it very much, people doing dibbity-dip-dip, whoa, whoa, mama-nama-nama-nama.

You don't get a lot of that. Listen to Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. a short anonymous survey that will take about five minutes to fill out. Plus, if you finish it, you'll get a 10% discount on merch at the MaxFun store. MaxFun shows have always relied on support from our members and always will. This survey will help keep the few ads we do run interesting and relevant to you. That's MaximumFun.org slash ad survey. A-D-S-U-R-V-E-Y. All one word. And thanks for your help. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Oh, it's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. John Moe, hot man. Hot man. Here comes the hot man. This is his song. Hot man. Hot man, you must be, you must be sad. Here comes the Hotman. Yeah. It's a good song. Hot man. Hotman, you must be sad. Here comes Hotman.

We've talked about that meme before. Yeah, we talked about that meme. Great meme. Very good meme. Remember when all memes were just someone falling off of something? Yeah. Yeah. That was fun. I'll never forget how nice Frasier was

after he fell off that stage. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Frasier from the show Frasier? That what made him nice? Did he put a mean before he fell off the stage? Well, Kelsey Frasier is the name of the actor. Kelsey Frasier.

Thank you, John. Yeah. No, he's been a prince ever since. He's just been a hugger. Yeah, he's a good dude. He's turned into a hugger. You can tell he's a good dude. Yeah. He's got a good dude with a hugger. He's turned into a hugger. You can tell he's a good dude. He's got a good dude with a good heart.

He doesn't have cocaine where his heart should be. No. Now, Kelsey Frazier cares about the people. It's for the kids. You ever see that guy in something and you think to yourself, well, I mean, he is pretty funny. Yeah, I don't have anything against Kelsey Grammer. I know you've got a splinter and under your fingernail about the popularity of

frazier um no i think i don't it's not that i think there's something wrong with the popularity of frazier i just i the only thing i object to is the idea that it's like really great when in fact it's good it's a nice show it's a good show he was okay as a as a voice in the animated film storks yeah he was okay in store he was okay in circles that's what it says on his uh home page now kelsey grammar not so bad in storks i'm taking a look at his cv his curriculum vitae right here at At the top it says, Special Skills, OK in Storks. John Moe has endorsed Kelsey Grammer for being OK in Storks. When the Kelsey Grammer Storks book comes out, I'm going to blurb on the back.

Right. Storks, an oral history of Storks. Does anyone know how I can delete my linkedin because i have a linkedin i don't know how i got it but i logged into it one time yeah maybe six years after i created it and i had a message from somebody at comedy central now these people don't message me all the time yeah but it was like two years after they had messaged me and i felt bad i was like i gotta get out of this linkedin so i can get them to send me a message on a platform i use yeah like ebombs world my coke rewards yeah on mycocorewards.com. John Moe.

Yes. Host of Depress Mode. This is a show where you talk to notable persons about their mental health struggles or the effects of mental health struggles in their lives. Or their neurodivergences of various kinds, I would say. Yeah, the obstacles that they've met, where the issue of mental health has intersected with their world. We talk to various comedians, actors, writers, musicians, and then we do a whole bunch of shows, too, that are more about issue-oriented things. We've got a show coming up about the kids going back to school and the trauma that they have been through and how we can all help them. So a variety of topics. You also interview actors who portray mental health professionals in successful hit sitcoms of the 1990s and early 2000s.

Yes. Do I? Talking about Kelsey Grammer here. Oh yeah yeah yeah just talking about no i don't even i don't think of him as a as a guest he's he's you know he's my friend on the second chair yeah he's a sounding board right he's someone to make out with it's right yeah you just give him a little kiss before you do the ads oh it's not little jordan wow you ever read one of those oral histories of uh cheers before maybe there was one on grantland or something like that probably yeah if you read one of those there's like a one chunk about you know shelly long there's one chunk about how everyone missed coach but but Woody Harrelson was an incredibly good replacement. And one chunk about how people don't understand

how Kelsey Grammer could have done such a good job given how drunk he was. Just like, I don't know how he was even standing up, much less doing a great job. I think we can all agree kelsey grammer did a great job on chairs yes he created an archetype apparently so hammered people didn't understand how he could even know his lines wow yeah kelsey graham is one of those people that like i i don't have i don't have any huge opinion about but if it like came out that he was anti-vax i'd go like

oh yeah i guess so yeah well i mean you love that sitcom he did with martin lawrence right oh that's right he did do that he did do that he was the beast in a couple x-men movies yeah he was he did do that anyway john moe's podcast is called kelsey grammar yep um. Depression Mode is the name of the program. Great name. Hilarious name for a depression podcast, by the way. Very good. Thank you. I'll say this. We may or may not have negotiated with a public radio

institution to try and get the old name of John Moe's podcast. We may or may not have run into extraordinary resistance on that front. Truly stunning. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, how is this even happening level of resistance? You leveled up. The new name's great. The new name's great. Yeah. I was going to say, like, one of the things, look, I've been impressed by many things about John Moe in the many years that I've known him, you know,

including a few times a little tipsy at the public radio conference. But I think that one of the most impressive things is that he lost the great name of his old show and then came up with an even better name for the new show. I was like, oh, yeah, Depressed Mode. Great. Sold. Done.

We don't have to talk to those people anymore I texted the name when I thought of it to my wife who was on the other end of the basement from me we were both in the basement at the time and I just heard her scream and I'm like

okay that's the name then and then you got in the car and drove around the neighborhood until you found her. Yes, exactly. By which point she had been murdered. Still, good name though. Basement ghost. Yeah, basement ghost.

Okay, John Moe, do you have a favorite mental illness conversation that you can refer our listeners to if they want to get started on Depresh Mode. Episode one with Patton Oswalt is awfully good. And there's an episode floating around around the 4th of July-ish with Joel Kim Booster that's gotten us a lot of attention. It's harrowing, but it's a really good episode. Intense episode. A great man, Joel Kim Booster. A great genius. Yes. But who has had some significant struggles and was dealing with significant struggles actively

as he appeared on your program. It was an episode that I often say was recorded from the bottom of a pit where he was. He was in a bad depressive episode. It's an episode we barely edit. You can hear me searching for things to say. And it's the best, like depression is something really hard to describe. I've never been able to fully put it into words. I've never read anybody else who's really been able to put it into words. But if anybody ever wants to understand what it's really like, maybe you know somebody who's going

through it, listen to that episode with Joel Kim Booster, who is doing better, by the way, since that episode. Yeah. Or alternately, just listen to this episode of Jordan Jesse go again from the beginning twice in a row and then track your own feelings and you will know talk about not being able to get out of bed boy violent outbursts

look I'm on a mood stabilizer we've talked about that on the program listen clergy members principals and vice principals that's JJ go at maximum fun.org this is a little something called science it's saving us from the coronavirus right now and then it's going to do something similarly

good just find out which of those groups we have more listeners from our producer Brian Sonny D Fernandez Valerie Moffitt on the live stream there on our Facebook page at facebook.com slash JordanJesseGo. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com, Marbles.reddit.com, and of course, BozSkaggs.reddit.com. You know, we made that subreddit, r slash Boz Skaggs, years ago and i i'm i'm i joined it and uh

just once every couple years somebody posts in there about boss gags and you're like as they should as they should perfect amount nature yes life finds a way as long as you're recommending an episode of our other podcasts, go ahead and listen to my interview with Boz Skaggs on Bullseye, who's a really cool guy. It was a great interview. Put your Lido on shuffle, everybody. Thank you, Boz Skaggs humor, folks.

That's a little Boz Skaggs humor. Not backed by the Silver Bullet Band. Not backed by the Silver Bullet Band. No, not at all. That's a little Boz Skaggs humor. Not backed by the Silver Bullet Band. Yeah. Not backed by the Silver Bullet Band. No, not at all. That's Bob Seeger. Bob Seeger.

Bob Saget. Bob Saget was backed by the Silver Bullet Band. Yeah. 206-9844-FUN. JJ, go at MaximumFun.org.

Our theme music, Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the attic records uh from their album kites are fun the best of the free design which you should buy whether no matter how your baby feels about it look this shouldn't be up to babies this is america yeah

they shouldn't have decision making power they should have some say but not decision making just because the entire faculty died in that meteor crash doesn't mean you have to do what the baby says. The entire cast of the faculty? Even Jordana Brewster? The more the meteor. Especially. Oh, no. Especially Jordana Brewster, Jordan.

She got so killed. She got killed. She got universal death church killed. Poor Jordana Brewster. Yeah. John, what was it like being married to Jordana Brewster? I was married to Joel Kim Brewster. Thank you.

God, this is really... We've got enough time. The show can be over. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. Bye. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. Bye.