Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 706: Donner Party Tugboat with Heather Anne Campbell

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

Heather Anne Campbell (How Did This Get Played? pod, Rick and Morty) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of how Heather is leaning into the nerdy things she loves these days like Gundam, old Macs, and MiniDiscs; what it's like to show someone a perfect movie they know nothing about, and how no one gets how VCR board games work.   THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS:MAGIC SPOON – Go to magicspoon.com/JJGo to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today! Use our promo code JJGO at checkout to save five dollars off your order!SMALLS – Take a short quiz on Smalls.com to customize your Sampler and use code JJGO for a total of 30% off your first order.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective, here with a... I'll just get into it. I have a butt question. Yeah, sure. Well, Jordan, this is your first time listening to Jordan Jesse go. It is. I've heard great things.

Been meaning to get to it. But yeah, I thought I'd dive in. Jordan, it's your first time listening to Jordan Jesse? I was addressing the audience. Oh, yeah. I'm usually just kind of spaced out saying stuff. It's amazing it makes sense at all, ever. It's like when someone's experiencing night terrors, and they say, don't worry, they won't

remember it in the morning. That's me. That's me with podcasting. But today I decided to, I don't know, just see what all the fuss is about. See what everybody's talking about around the water cooler. About butts? Because obviously no one is talking about this show around the water cooler. About butts? Because obviously no one is talking about this show around the water cooler. I'm hanging out at some pretty cool water coolers where...

I think if there's one distinguishing quality of this show, it is that no one recommends it to anyone else. Yeah, not big amongst water drinkers either. We've got... Our fans are powerade people god love love a powerade vending machine just pump it in there i say give me anything blue um jordan you mentioned you had a butt question it's good because i'm a butt spurt oh well that this is this is perfect then i would love your butt spurt opinion. So you've seen the popular slogan. You know, you'll see this like the mainly bumper sticker, but like maybe sometimes like T-shirt or sweatshirt.

Wrangler butts drive me nuts. Yeah, sure. So Wrangler jeans are like a cowboy jean. And inside them are butts. Right. And there are certain people who those butts drive nuts, and they want to let you know via bumper sticker or T-shirt or whatever. And it's tough because America is in a mental health crisis.

Right. I mean, it is hard to get care. It's hard to get your insurance to cover it. If you've been driven nuts by Wrangler butts. Yeah, because when you call that nurse helpline all you're gonna hear on the other end is the sound of them rolling their goddamn eyes yeah you know why these people love lee jeans yeah they're real guest heads over there on the uh gerbos on the helpline god nurses love gerbos bows. So I'm, you know, and I like get this.

I know, you know, the tight jeans, hug the buns, you know, boot scoot boogie, all that. I get it. Yeah. These people have the scoots. Yeah. They get the scoots. They go nuts. It's all part of the crazy, this crazy little ride we call life. Cowboy up, etc.

Cowboy up. Today I saw a bumper sticker that flipped that popular slogan, put a new spin on it. Really? One that I baffled me. Wizard butts drive me nuts. Yeah, wizard

butts. Wizard butts drive me nuts. Now. Well butts. Wizard butts drive me nuts. Now. Well, can I say one thing? Hmm. I understand that you're saying this doesn't make sense to you. It makes immediate sense to me. Because wizards are famous for wearing tight pants.

No, the flowy robes. Flowy robes with moons and stars. Jesse. Wizards love tight. They love to, you know what wizards love to do? They buy them raw and they soak them on their legs. I don't think you're, I think you're thinking of somebody else. Because this is, I mean, tight jeans, I mean, they look great.

But they're no, I mean, they won't act as a magical catalyst. And I think that's what wizards are looking for when they're looking for clothing choices. act as a magical catalyst and i think that's what wizards are looking for when they're looking for clothing choices what will best conduct uh you know spells jordan you said miracles greasers right no i said wizards wizards uh that's the problem you said wizards i thought you said greasers right they love tight jeans well i mean famous mean, famous greaser Brian Setzer sure looks good in a good pair of jeans. I don't know. You know where I was going on that. Is it possible?

Yes. Now, first of all, in my own life, I have canceled Mr. Harold Potter. That guy is out on his ass as far as I'm concerned And That nasty person That created him See you later, later for you However

How do you feel about Hagrid at this moment in time? Yeah, don't know what that is Okay, and you know what? Keep it that way Do you want to talk about Hagar? Because I had some feelings about Hagar. He's horrible. Pretty horrible. Yeah. So, yeah. So I'm wondering, is it possible that the kind of wizard we're talking about here

are the hip adolescent wizards of the Harold Potter universe? hip adolescent wizards of the Harold Potter universe. Oh, I mean, I think that their outfits are long and flowy as well. I don't know that it complements the buttocks and also the characters are, you know, underage. So probably, you know. Even when they're fighting werewolves? Are they underage when they're fighting werewolves? No, are they?

Do they wear loose clothes when they're fighting werewolves? I mean, I think so. I mean, I'm going to keep going back to the fact that you know when you're a wizard you're picking clothes because of its magical conductivity not not necessarily the style do you think you need to be touching the clothes for the conductivity to work so thus you would want to buy Raws, slip them on, get in a hot bathtub, and then let them dry on you. I mean, if it would help me defeat the werewolf faster, I would do it. It sounds a little inconvenient, honestly, but I would do it to defeat my mortal enemy, the werewolf.

Do you think wizards are really all that interested in... Oh! Holy shit! Well, let me introduce our guest. You know her from Whose Line Is It Anyway? You know her from How Did This Get Played? You know her from improv comedy in the Netherlands, Heather Ann Campbell. Hi, Heather.

How are you? Oh, man. I'm okay. How are you? Oh, my buddy just died. R.I.P. My friend of 20 years, Jordan Morris, who died in a horrific computer accident. Holy shit.

Oh, he's back. He's back. Jordan Morris had what appeared to be a life-threatening injury, what appeared to be the laptop computer equivalent of the time that Fraser fell off that stage, returned to us as gracious as ever. Jordan, just so you know, Heather and I had a nice chat. We talked about Gundams. Oh, well, I'm sorry I missed the Gundam chat. I don't know that I would have a lot to contribute, but I would have been interested to hear. It's the type of flying robot that a person can sit inside of. Is that correct, Heather Ann Campbell? Yes.

Peek behind the curtain. So we're live streaming some of the episodes. And because of that, I have a ring light set up so that I don't look like I'm a shot from a Conjuring movie, which is the natural lighting scheme of my apartment is Conjuring movie. Anyways, I've got this ring light up that's kind of been flickering. I was adjusting it while we were recording. It tipped over. It closed my laptop.

And here we are. Talking Gundams. Heather, what are the defining characteristics of a Gundam relative to other flying robots? Well, I'm glad you asked because that's an excellent question. I would say that the primary defining features of Gundam is that in the history of Japanese animation there were um super robot shows which were about giant powerful robots there was stuff like Power Rangers with the robots combined out of animals or whatever but Gundam was the first show to treat these giant robots as legitimate military technology so the story and the uh and the

gravity not gravity is in like space but like gravity of like hey we need to allocate enough funds in order to make more of these robots so that we can fight this faction which is a terrorist sub-cell of a planet that we destroyed earlier. Like it's really, that's what makes the show and the history and the legacy of the show so addictive. I am currently watching all of what is known as the universal century timeline because there is a central timeline and then there are like alternate versions of the sort of like star wars versus star wars legends where it's like those books are like not canonical anymore right yeah how does general thrawn uh yeah enter into all of this admiral thrawn admiral thrawn excuse me general thrawn you got it well he was non-canonical and then he came back i know he's canonical again

it's so hard to pin down thrawn and that's i think what people like about him he zigs he zags and you don't know where this guy's coming from for those of you who don't know who Thrawn is, I also don't really know who Thrawn is. Oh, thank God. He's blue and he's a bad guy. And I started reading Thrawn comics so that I could get caught up on the Thrawn, because people love Thrawn. Right. Get to get caught up in the Thrawnverse. Yeah. Well, there's a Thrawn-issance going on right now. the Thrawnverse. Yeah, well, there's a Thrawn-issance going on right now. Wait, can I ask you a question?

Is Thrawn a Star Wars or a Gundam? Yeah, he's Star Wars. Okay. Thrawn is Star Wars. But Gundams... Not Star Wars. Gundams are sort of like... Gundams, as I understand it, it's the classic Japanese super robot genre yes with a little bit of

robert carrow's lyndon johnson master of the senate is that correct yeah or would you say it has a little more a little more hunt for red october by tom clinton i would say i would say that if you took the uh military industrial complex speech by eisenhower and you crossed it with anime that's what gundam is it's like great all of the episodes end with somebody going my god what have we done and that's like and it's been going since like 1978 i think so it's 40 some odd years of military history and each series builds on the last. So you can't just jump in. I mean, I guess you could jump in today, but you'd be like, who the fuck are these people and why are they all fighting?

I gave the old college try to Attack on Titan not too long ago. Uh-huh. Which is an anime that people love. And there's a lot of things I loved about it. But basically, kind of like you were saying, at the end, you know, there's a central theme that they like to drive home. And in this particular anime,

it felt like at the end of every episode, people would just look into the camera and say, to exist is to suffer. at the end of every episode, people would just look into the camera and say, to exist is to suffer. And... To exist is suffering. It's good that for the English version,

they spent the money and got Werner Herzog to say it. Yeah, really, yes. He's great as the teenage protagonist. Now, is Attack on Titan, Jordan, is this a Star Wars or a Gundam? Boy, I mean, it's a nude giant. Okay. Thank you.

Heather, if you could pick one Gundam from the history of Gundams, your number one creature power suit, what one would you choose? The very first one. The original, the OG. The original classic. The original Gundam. 78-2. It's a gorgeous... I mean, you look at it, and it kind of makes you feel good.

It's like, have we ever improved? To go Star Wars again, have we ever improved on the Darth Vader design? No. Or the original Stormtrooper? No. In the same way... As good as it gets. ever improved to go Star Wars again have we ever improved on the Darth Vader design no or the original stormtrooper no in the same way as it gets like it's as good I mean I love building Gundam model kits and was building these kits prior to watching the show just because I enjoyed the the modeling so much but like none of those robots stand up to the original one he's like my dad like i want to hang out with him yeah he takes you fishing yeah i'd like to i mean i want to back up to what you said i mean i tether i take your point about you know the fact that we have

been a thick daddy yes gundams are thick we all know that and we i know what you mean about you know have we improved on the darth vader design and i get that but like have you seen thrawn have you seen this blue have you seen this guy it's like you took part of thrawn's design that upsets me and the reason i couldn't really enjoy reading the comic, is it's like you took, in Super Mario 64, you know how it starts with Mario's face on screen, and he's like, oh, yahoo, let's-a-go. And you can kind of pull on him,

and his face warps a little bit. Thrawn looks like he just got pulled, and he's longer than he should be. How come I'm not seeing any Thrawns? How are you spelling it? I searched for Thrawn looks like he just got pulled and he's longer than he should be. How come I'm not seeing any Thrawns? How are you spelling it? I searched for Thrawn. How is Thrawn spelled? There's a W in Thrawn?

Yeah. Thrawn. W-W-T-W-A-U-R-W-N. All I see is a metal band named Thrawn. You're looking at the wrong Thrawn. At metaltemple.com, Thrawn revealed new album art. Ooh, this is very dark album art. That's the album art.

So Thrawn is a character from the novels, the Timothy Zahn novels. Jesse, I bet you you read a Timothy Zahn. I have read some Timothy Zahn Star Wars novels. 100% I've read some in 8th grade, baby. Yeah. The ultimate grade to read Timothy Zahn Star Wars novels. That was after I finished reading

Dragonlance novels. Oh, yeah! That was the cheer of one person! One, one, one. We have reached the bottom of my memories of what dragon lance novels were but i read a number of them at least five tanis the half elf uh sure raceland the wizard um there was a a kender who was like a little little thief do you remember him any of this i remember raceland's uh tight pants unbelievable i mean i heard

you in the tight pants on the fantasy characters geez louise okay jordan so thrawn so thrawn is a character from those who who was erased from continuity when the uh evil disney overlords strangled star wars with their money fingers. They had to get rid of some characters to make room for Donald Duck. Right. And so people were mad that there was now no Thrawn,

that Thrawn's existence was wiped out. But now they're reintegrating Thrawn to appease Star Wars babies. Oh, are they making him fight Baby Yoda? Yeah, oh yeah. He drop kicked him like a football. Holy shit. Have you ever wanted to,

I'm glad you brought that up, Jordan. Heather, have you ever had a dog or cat in your life? What the fuck? That's the ask? After drop kick Baby Yoda, your brain goes immediately, do you have a pet? Yes.

How far can you kick the pet? Yes, I've had, well, I just had, my girlfriend's dog just passed away recently and it was heartbreaking and awful, awful, awful. Nothing compares to the death of a dog. And if you haven't had a dog that has

passed you don't have any frame of reference for that it is the vietnam of grief like you i don't know what it's like to be in vietnam but the people all seem to have a shared experience of it same with a dog passing away in your in your arms um but we got a new dog a few months later and it is as far as i can tell a perfect dog uh its name its foster name was suzy but we rescued it and and they said well name it something like its foster name something sounds like it so they suggested sushi and we're like that's a fucking great name for a dog. So our dog's name is Sushi. Did you consider Jacuzzi? Yeah.

I think Jordan just... I'm not saying it's better than Sushi, but I'm saying it was probably worth considering at least. It is better. Does the word Jacuzzi sound like Susie to you? Like if you were an animal... Susie Jacuzziie to you? Like if you were an animal who didn't understand. I had a friend in college named Susie Jacuzzi.

She was always down to party. Sounds like a character from, what are those like lascivious games? Leisure Suit Larry. Leisure Suit Larry, yes. This seems like a Leisure Suit Larry. Another thing that I don't remember much from. NPC Susie Jacuzzi. I just that I don't remember much from. NPC. Susie Jacuzzi. I just wanted to, look, I have two dogs.

I love them to the end of the world and back. Yes. One of them I was up all night taking care of last night. She was a little ill. Took her to the overnight veterinarian. She's doing fine now. Good, good. But I will say that every time I walk them,

I do imagine drop kicking them like a punter. And not out of malice. I want to be clear. It's not that I want to hurt them. In this scheme, they love to fly. And it's fun for them. It's so fun for them. Like their ears are pinned back and all four of their legs are back. You know what I mean?

Like whoosh. Do they ever have aviator goggles and a scarf? No, you're thinking of Skye from Paw Patrol. I am thinking of Skye. Heather, describe Sushi to us. Describe the little face. How are the paws? What about the tail?

Thank you. Okay. Lap-sized dog. Not toy-sized, but lap-sized. 15 pounds. Yeah. That's where it's at. That's the right poundage.

There's some good LBs on that dog. You called the rescue. You're like, all right, I like this one, but how's the LBs on that? How are the LBs on that woofer? That's right. I'm a crazy guy. I've seen the pic you posted, and sure, Wrangler butts drive me nuts, but how's the LBs on that woofer? Right.

I mean, I think we've covered it. I don't know that we... I am. We all kind of know what the dog looks like now. You got a pretty solid idea. It's completely hairless, very low to the ground, long forked tongue. Scaly? Yeah, scaly.

Sort of, you put the collar on and the collar can go anywhere on the body, really. You can put the collar, after it's on, you can go all the way to the end of the dog. You can keep it at the beginning. Bitey. Swallows mice whole. Yeah. Yeah. Sushi the dog.

You know, it's weird because I know every dog is different, but it's real hard finding a harness that Sushi can wear. And when she gets agitated, she's so fast. Like right into the grass. Can't find her for like a week. And then we'll find her like up in a tree. And the birds are all dead. Great dog. Real great dog.

Having difficulty learning her name. But we're working on it. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever think about, it wouldn't have to be like an NFL punter. I mean, it could be like an Aussie rules football player. I have never thought about kicking an animal,

if that's what you're- But it doesn't hurt the animal. That's so important to emphasize here, Heather. The animal loves it. It doesn't even hurt their tushy. It's so important to emphasize here, Heather. The animal loves it. It doesn't even hurt their tushy. It's like a launch. It's like a launcher. It's like, what if you took a baby's legs and you broke it like a wishbone, but it liked it?

Like, I've never had that thought. Well, now it gets to be two babies. well now it gets to be two babies babies have a starfish like regeneration it can finally marry itself the dream of all babies heather i feel like the last time we zoomed for a podcast was for your great podcast how did this get played? Thank you. A wonderful show. You were kind of just starting your like, now we all work from home, home office. And now I'm getting to see

the kind of completed home office. I just want to know a little bit more about what went into it. I would like to hear about some of your treasures. I know you're someone who collects a retro video game, which I appreciate. Yes.

So do you want to know, what are you asking me here? Are you asking me for like a catalog? What's some of your favorite details of your home office and maybe some advice for someone like me who also wants to set up their own home office? I have a follow-up question to Jordan. Just,

Yes. Do you got any Gundams in there? Yes, I do have, I have two assembled Gundup question to Jordan. Yes. Do you have any Gundams in there? Yes, I do have. I have two assembled Gundams in my office, which I could go get and hold to camera if you want. Our audience can't see the Gundams. Okay, great. One is from my head to my waist, large.

Holy mackerel. And gold and lights up with internal LED lights. It was really a terrific build, but it took me from February to August, eking out my little free time here and there. Are you doing like little dots of airplane glue? Is it that kind of situation? Are you filing off little tabs tabs yes you do from a sheets of plastic pieces you do you do the filing you do clipping and filing and and and snapping and sanding and and then with the led kit you are also like using tweezers to fish little wires inside of a skeleton so that the joints light up i'm very proud of my most recent robot

build um and also at the beginning of if you if you saw me jordan right at the beginning of pandemic uh i was somebody who was uncomfortable with how much of a fucking nerd I was like I was really it was it was creating friction for me where I was trying to keep one foot in each world of uh being socially acceptable or liking the things that I love with the intensity and ferocity that I want to love them uh and as this has gone on I'm like what am I fucking doing I don't care about people I just want to love them. And as this has gone on, I'm like, what am I fucking doing? I don't care about people. I just want to like the stuff. So I'm,

I'm throat deep in everything that I love. Like I've gone such, I have an Apple two monitor on my desk that I have wired into my regular Mac computer so that I can use it as a second screen for Zoom. Like I can take my Zoom and put it on a 1982 monitor. Wow. You know what, Heather? I think that's fucking pathetic. Thank you. I'll tell you why. Why is that? fucking pathetic thank you i'll tell i'll tell you why why is that it's because when i was a kid i had an apple 2 plus which is better i don't know i think you should think about upgrading are you gonna be pretty bummed when you try and play eureka's castle and it's too slow it's just the

monitor in fact i can play i could play play Assassin's Creed on an Apple II monitor. It looks like shit, but it's really fun. When I was a kid, I could always lord it over all my friends who only had Print Shop because we had Print Shop Deluxe. Oh, yeah, baby. That's eight typefaces instead of four. Ooh, the templates on this. You should have seen the templates. Oh, you can make banners?

I can make fucking greeting cards. Yeah, you have to fold it yourself, but it's still pretty rewarding. I made all of this year's Christmas cards on my Mac Classic 2 and printed them on the original printer, folded them four ways and sent them out. I was like, these are Christmas cards from 1992 when life was better for, well, I mean, I couldn't have been married, but otherwise. It was a mixed bag.

1992, a mixed bag. I think we could all agree, a mixed bag. Heather mixed bag i think we could all agree a mixed bag yeah heather i i i know exactly what you mean that thing about you know being careful about how much nerd shit you fill your house with because i am also very self-conscious about this like i definitely you know i think when you see me you probably think, this guy probably has a bunch of Spider-Man shit in his house. I'm trying to usurp people's expectations a little bit. I'm like, oh, when they come over, they're not going to see a bunch of Spider-Man shit.

But the truth is, I just want to get the Spider-Man shit. I did lean in a little bit more to that when I was more trapped in my house. I'm like, I'm just going to get the Simpsons vans. I'm just going to frame this old, now you're playing with power poster that I found at the Goodwill. And others be damned.

Guys, I would make fun of you were i not sitting in front of my framed sheet of japanese baseball cards oh that's really nice there you go it's really nice you know we're all just out here doing our thing you know what i mean we're sure we're i think i think i said this before we started. It's like being on an island or like being in Australia where I feel like we're all evolving along our own paths at an accelerated rate since we can't interact with other people. So like whatever it is that we are, we're getting to be much more of that thing as time goes on. We're all developing finch beaks so we can eat nuts or whatever. Sure. Right.

God, I love it. Heather, is part of this because I don't know how long your relationship is with your partner. But is part of it because your relationship with your partner grew more secure and you it it sort of was the the potting soil in which you could flower uh or is was your partner always on board for this and that's how the two of you connected so my partner is not a nerd her name is uh her name is mary laws she is Her name's Mary Laws. She is a successful Hollywood writer. She wrote... Search her on Deadline. You're going to get some hits.

Honestly, she wrote The Neon Demon, which is a Nick Ruffin movie. She had her own show on Hulu. She's, I mean, and it's... Also, you know, like, a lot of us have been here for a long time and Mary Mary got here like five years ago and she's fucking like every day it's like oh I'm hitting another thousand home runs it's really impressive and amazing she's so talented and I love her, but she's not a nerd at all, at all, at all. And she has no judgment for it either.

So she's so not a nerd that the stuff is just interesting to her. Does that make sense? Like, I feel like, I feel like if you're, if you are, if you you if you're a popular type girl right and you hear about dungeons and dragons uh you you already kind of know what it is because you've already been exposed to it so you have like your you have your your insults queued up you're like oh really you're playing dungeons and dragons like or you know sure yeah masturbating to an l tight pants wizards but i and but i say i say that to mary i'm like yeah i was thinking about playing dungeons and dragons and she's like what's a dragon like it's that i mean it's like so she's missing a lot of information.

What's and? Oh, boy. Wow. You need to. Okay. We need to cover a lot. But she's like, I showed her all of Neon Genesis Evangelion, my favorite anime of all time, including the most recent film, which we watched the night it came out on Amazon Prime. And we sat down and watched

she knew how important it was to me and she's not against any of it she's not out getting she does wear my kylo ren t-shirt all the time but otherwise like she's not out like buying arcade systems or anything but she also has no she doesn't she's really sweet so none of it matters yeah that's that's about where my wife Teresa is at um like you know there are some sort of traditional nerd things about which I am not a nerd you know like so just as Jordan can't fix your computer. I have never really seen any non-Totoro animes. Totoro and Totoro-related animes. Yes. But especially after I watched

that one Grave of the Fireflies and it was so fucking sad. I was like, later, everybody. To exist is to suffer, Jesse. To exist is to suffer. So anyway, there were, you know know the idea that you saw two anime and it was totoro and grave of the fire you're like i love that whimsical totoro

i love that whimsical totoro where the conflict is mom has a cold and then she gets better. I wasn't nuts. I watched Ponyo. I wasn't nuts about that one. I love Totoro, but I didn't love Ponyo as much. God damn, that's really funny. I've seen two movies. I've seen Star Wars and Schindler's List. I don't understand what movies are supposed to have in common.

I know they have to do with USC film school in the early 70s. I've seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Antichrist. Don't care for these movies. I watched Audition and A Talking Cat. Hey, audience, send us your funny two movie combinations. Hey, audience, send us your funny two movie combinations. My beautiful wife, Teresa, what is most interesting to me about her is this. Like, certainly, I'm a medium Star Wars guy, as anyone listening to Jordan Jesse Go knows. I didn't know about Thrawn.

I'm glad to learn about him, but I definitely read some Star Wars novels in middle school, and I've watched the various Star Wars films. Yes. And I enjoyed them, except for the bad ones. But, like, I'm certainly, I'm as nerdy as it gets about baseball. And there are other things about which I am that nerdy. and there are other things about which I am that nerdy. My wife is not a nerd of anything except for possibly loving our children.

What a boindexter. I know. Like, my wife is perfectly glad. Like, it's a little more complicated now that we have kids to do this as an activity but she'd be glad to go to the ball game with me she's glad to hear about different little things you know once in a while i'll i'll text her a thing that a guy on the giants did and i'll i'll tell her why it's cool and she'll be like oh that's cool and she'll mean it you know she's not just humoring me. She thinks it's neat. But there's no equivalent of that for her.

Like, she likes hiking, but she's not like one of those hiking people. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that is the extent to which I do not understand that way of being in the world. And I want to be clear, I admire it. But I am like, so she is just, she just likes nice and good things, but doesn't obsess over whether there's one that's similar, but very slightly different.

Mary does have an, I have, I'm realizing as you describe what being a nerd is, she does, she's a nerd for classic movie musicals and choreographers. Oh, wow. Okay. That's, you know,

that's a category. So we've watched infinity YouTube videos of, and she'll be like, so this guy choreographed this with this person. And then that person became this person. And I'm like, wow. Or like we saw John Williams at the bowl. And during the intro, the conductor was like talking about this Gershwin piece and was just naming this chain of names that I'd never heard. And each time a name was announced, Mary went, oh, no. Oh, oh, like finding out.

Thrawn. It's, yeah yeah guest conductor thrawn hey heather you want to hear a thrawn joke i wrote yeah uh thrawn walks into a bar bartender says hey thrawn why the long face excellent there you go great work great work great work long face on i don't know a lot about thrawn but yeah i think I think he's got a... Thrawn is my one... It's like my major Star Wars blind spot is Thrawn. Like, again, I've read all the Marvel comics, the old Republic stuff, like all of it.

Love it. The Jar Jar novels. I mean, if there... You've done the Dexter Jetster VR experience. Which is canon, which is canon. That all happened to Dexter Jetster VR experience, which is canon, which is canon. That all happened to Dexter Jetster. Heather, I have a question. Yeah.

So you mentioned Neon Genesis Evangelion. Yes. That's something that you forced your partner into. Yes. Are there other things that you have are there things i want to know two categories number one is things you've shown her that did not work yes and i want to know what things have you shown this non-nerd that did work well so she does she loves evangelion and enough that she was like i would like to watch the entire series again.

And we did start watching the entire series again before like a work thing came up for her and we didn't have the bandwidth to sit through 26 episodes of a show she'd already watched. So yeah, that really worked for her. She also loves the old school Gundam theme song enough that she puts it in her top five songs. She loves it.

Can you sing a little bit of the song for us? Absolutely not. Can't do that. I'll sing San Diego Superchargers for you if you sing. No, you could do that. I mean, you could sing that diego superchargers for you if you sing no you could do that i mean you could sing that san diego superchargers but i won't follow up with the gundam song um because i am a bad sport i'm a poor sport no i like this i like this i like this you don't have to listen you don't have to fucking just sing yeah that's my wall you're on somebody's podcast and they're saying sing you're not a monkey and you don't have to you don't have to listen. You don't have to fucking just sing. Yeah, that's my wall. You're on somebody's podcast and they're saying sing.

You're not a monkey and you don't have to dance. You were telling us before we started that you recently sat down and watched Blade Runner for the first time. Now, I guess like, you know, Gundam, a little less surprising that someone hasn't seen. But Blade Runner, that's just like a movie. Guys, I got to show her Alien and Aliens. Wow. Getting to show somebody Alien is a gift. It is perfect.

It is a perfect fucking film, and she didn't know anything going into it. Nothing at all. So like each step, she's like, it has acid for blood. And'm like this is incredible like yeah you what you didn't know that you didn't know that yeah i bet if you don't know that and you learn that the blood is acid you're like fuck i mean i think when i was a kid i knew the blood was acid going into the movie i had already like learned a bunch of xenomorph yeah of course you

know what the facehugger is sure you. You read about it in zoo books, Jordan. Yeah, we got one each month. The elephant, giraffe, and then xenomorph. Because I think, Heather, I'm glad you brought this up because these are two very different categories of film to me. Alien and Aliens and Blade Runner.

Yes. And I think we can add Star Wars as a fourth pole of this. Yes, yes. Or a third pole, depending on whether Alien and Aliens are one pole. But I don't want to get too much into the geography and geometry of these poles.

I would say Alien and Aliens, despite being now 40-ish years old, are genuinely thrilling films. they're spectacular you don't have to make any allowances to love those films right star wars is i think if you didn't watch it as a kid and you watch it as an adult, I don't think you would dislike it, but it's a little creaky. You know what I mean? It's not the quickest movie.

Maybe some of the dumb things about it show up a little more, uh, cause you're an adult and not a child. Um, you notice that at the time, at least Mark Hamill was not a strong actor and he's the star of the film. Those kinds of things. If you were a 40-year-old watching Star Wars for the first time right now.

So that's a second poll. The third one is Blade. And I want to be clear. I love all of these things. All of these things are things that I love. And I want to be clear, I love all of these things. All of these things are things that I love. Blade Runner is one of the most beautiful films in existence.

Just a stunning visual experience. Yeah. It is not quite nonsense, but borders on nonsense. And it is extraordinarily slow. so it is more of a 2001 type movie uh in that it is it is like a thing to gaze at and be lost in and love the kind of beauty of the pronouncements that people are making uh and those are all like very different things to respond to if you have no experience for them yes i i mean she when she finished watching alien she was like this is one of my favorite movies of all time it is flawless and you watch it again now and and it is it is perfect aliens while incredible the farther away you get from it the more it becomes just an action movie and it's a great

action movie but it is not a singular cinematic experience the way that alien is. And when I was a kid, my love for those movies was inverted. I loved Aliens more and Alien less. And now that I am an adult, I've put away childish things. And I love Alien with all my heart. You're into grown-up shit like Acid for Blood. Yeah, Acid for Blood. I mean, like...

And one guy that's a secret robot. I mean... Right? If you don't know that going into that movie, blood yeah acid for blood god i mean like and one guy that's a secret robot i mean you right if you don't know that going into that movie that fucking that would blow your mind what what like it's it you also get to you get to see when you watch a movie with somebody who doesn't have any cultural context for like nothing you get to see how great the structure of the script is in that every scene an alien she's getting a new wait what like moment in every scene like what why why is there a signal coming from that planet why is that thing in the chair inside of that ship why is it full of eggs what is a face hugger like each scene

is doing like another thing until you're at the end and it's like how is she going to kill this thing when she's effectively inside of a closet with it like it's it's incredible god it's such a good movie i you know you know two movies she hasn't seen that I'm looking forward to are Terminator and Terminator 2. And she doesn't know anything about. So even in the 90s, every kid knew that Arnold Schwarzenegger was a good guy in the second one, right? Right. I'm going to get to watch Terminator 2 with somebody who won't know that he's going to be the good guy. Wow.

And so when he's walking down the hall to go to Sarah Connor, Mary's going to be like, oh no, no. It's going to be incredible. But this is my serious question. Of all of these films that we've just discussed, I haven't seen the Terminator movies, but of all of the all of these films that we've just discussed, I haven't seen the Terminator movies,

but of all of the rest of the films that we've just discussed, Blade Runner is probably my favorite. Oh, mine too. I really, I love Blade Runner. Yeah. Like, I think, I don't want anyone to get the idea that because I just described it as boring, I don't like it. Because it is like one of my favorite movies of all time.

Yeah. is boring i don't like it because it is like one of my favorite movies of all time yeah uh but it is the one where i have the least it is the one where it feels to me like somebody could most most just not buy it and just be like fuck this uh or be totally captivated by it. Like Star Wars, I think, is of its time, and someone might be like, oh, this is creaky, you know, this is... But I think they would enjoy the charm of it. Like its greatest quality is its charm. And I think Alien, they would be like,

this is a fucking thrilling movie. But Blade Runner, right right like somebody could just be like what the fuck is this fuck this or they could be like oh i love this i think i do think there's a middle ground i think that the middle ground is wow a lot of stuff took from this like if you've seen other films you you you might like you might not like citizen kane but if you look watch other films from that era see what yeah it took from blade runner yeah exactly yeah and and and how hard it was to take from blade runner when you have to like and and the things that's why orson welles was a genius have Have you seen RKO 427 or whatever the fuck that movie's called?

RKO 1138. It would be interesting to kind of do this experiment with someone who was like not in our little subculture. Because I think that, you know, like when you like revisit these movies, like there are kind of these accepted takes, you know, like, when you, like, revisit these movies, like, there are kind of these accepted takes, you know. And these, you feel like you've maybe heard the take before you see the movie, you know. And you're like, Empire's the best Star Wars. Jaws was the first blockbuster. Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. Like, just these things that people say and say and say and say and say.

So, if you're not plugged into that, there's a world where you sit down and watch all the alien movies and you very well could come out going like, you know which one was my favorite? Resurrection. I loved it when they played basketball. You know, like, anyways. I don't know what a predator is,

but I enjoyed when Alien fought it. Sure, right, yeah. And I loved when the whole thing was colon requiem. Guys, I went to my GP the other day. Had a little colon requiem. A little colon requiem, if you know what I mean. Once you hit 40, you got to get those colon requiem. Jesus Christ.

So what did your partner think about Blade Runner? Well, she knew that it was extremely important to me. And I had actually told her years ago that if we were to ever get engaged, that if she hadn't seen Blade Runner before we got engaged, that my answer would be no. So she had to get it off. She knew it was that important to me. This was in the pre-prenup? Yeah, the pre-prenup.

Well, no, because I think if there's something important to her, I want to see it. I want to get to it as fast as possible. I want to watch it. But that's what being a nerd is. It's like, oh, give it to me. I want to investigate the puzzle of your existence right yeah um but if you're not a nerd and you're like oh yeah a movie that you like huh she doesn't

really like movies which is crazy to me because like how could you like the choreography parts of she does yeah she really does yeah she can name, like, she'll be like, oh, this choreography sequence and all the wheatgrass blowing on the field. All the president's men. And you're like, okay. Yeah, all the president's men. Sure. It's Deep Throat. Ha-cha.

Midway through, she's like, this is a weird movie. Right. And I was like, yes. And she was like, it's, it's weird. It's really good, but it's, and it's beautiful,

but it's weirder than I expected. And I'm like, yes, no, it's, it's a weird, it's a tone. It's like a tone piece.

It's, you know, it's like a, there are some, there are some movies that are short stories. And then there are some movies that are short stories and then there are some movies that are poems and, and this falls somewhere in between.

It's like a poem with narrative sections. Um, I would, I would think that the writer of neon demon would appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. And she did. She,

I mean, she, she, she's like, not my favorite thing you've shown me, but not bad. And I was like, yeah,

okay. We can get those rings. think that'll that'll count oh congratulations congratulations that's really i would hate it if you and if you would have ended and you know we've called it off we're packing up our stuff we're heather are you worried that you showed her the wrong cut has that been something that kept you up at night man look okay i i did show a tour last night, and there was a full sweating moment, because I have the Blu-ray collection.

So it has the work print through the final cut. And I was like, oh, God, I don't remember what they changed for the final cut. I don't know what they changed in the director's cut. I know I don't want to show her the TV cut or the theatrical release or the work print, but I eventually want- Just show her the dailies, Heather. Show her the dailies.

Take her to Video Village. She spent so much time on set that sometimes watching a movie with her, she'll just be like, oh, they ADR'd that. Oh, that shot was reversed. Yeah. She'll just do that like on autopilot. But Blade Runner is such a,

like a collage that you can't really be like, oh, they put that scene from this other place because they probably did on purpose. Yeah. Like it's not like, but yeah, I showed her the final cut

because I was like, I guess if it's good enough for Ridley Scott, it should be good enough for me to scream. Beautiful, beautiful choice. Does that one have the narration or doesn't have the narration? I don't remember which one's which. No, theatrical has narration. Director's cut, no narration. He didn't do the director's cut maybe, right?

Is that something? That I don't know. Ridley Scott wasn't involved in the director's cut maybe, right? Is that something? That I don't know. Ridley Scott wasn't involved in the director's cut? I feel like that's something sitting in the back of my mind, but I might be making that up. I mean, I'm going to Wikipedia that right after we're done talking because that's incredible. I'm not going to have to Wikipedia it

because before this episode comes out, somehow people are going to be at messaging me on Twitter. You know, I just want to be there i just want to find a partner who's you know never seen some of the seminal films and like sit them down and like put on just like one of the classics and to just watch their face light up yeah when we're watching the first blade movie and the vampire rave starts raining blood. I mean, imagine not knowing that's going to happen in Blade 1. Wait. I literally had a conversation with her about Blade this morning. Well.

Heather, you're so lucky. You're so lucky. Heather is definitionally shook right now yeah she go on urban dictionary look up shook that's don't let her know that the vampire rave has a blood rain part and just watch just watch the wonder envelop her she she has uh a couple of friends who are not my friends who are working on a script about half human half vampire and I told Mary that this was a thing that exists

in pop culture like the half human half vampire or the day walker or whatever I was like you know kind of like Blade and she's like what's Blade and I was like Wesley Snipes and she's like

yeah for murder at 1600 literally today was talking I was like right because why would you why would you know what Blade was like why would you have no idea I mean it was moderately successful

it was a pretty successful movie it's there's three or four of them yeah as wesley snipes quote got lower and lower man yeah no she won't know that the i i don't think i'm gonna show her blade i don't think that's gonna be don't think I'm going to show her Blade. I don't think that's going to be, there's so many other movies to show her that I don't think I'm going to get to Blade. Just as a heads up, Jordan, in case you want to take care of that one for me. Heather, I know you're joking, but I do. I want that.

Heather, what about when Blade 5 comes out? I want that. Heather, what about when Blade 5 comes out? Blade 5, colon, I, Wesley Snipes, believed the Constitution meant I didn't have to pay my taxes. It's weird they wrote him right this one. You know, I think if you, this is a sidebar here, but I think if if you legitimately thought that the constitution meant that you shouldn't pay taxes and you were hooked up to a lie detector and they discovered that you somehow had arrived at that being true from your available information i kind of feel like you

shouldn't have to go to prison that's fair i, we discuss on this program a lot, the period of time where most deaf lived in South Africa, believing himself to have an international passport, which is not a thing, until he got deported from South Africa for not having a visa to live in South Africa. And I also, there's a purity of vision in that that I admire. Because both with Wesley Snipes and with Mos Def, I don't think they, if they ever had doubts about whether that was really how it worked, they, through their artistic focus that made them great artists, erased those doubts until it was true to them. That's my theory. Like, I don't think Wesley Snipes was faking it. I don't think Mos Def was faking it. Maybe at the beginning they were faking it a little, but by the end, I don't think so. I think it's just their conviction. You know,

they had that conviction. That's why they could be great in New Jack City or whatever. And, or in Mos Def's case, be great in the Cosby Mysteries, and, or in most F's case, be great in the Cosby Mysteries, in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie. And that's what carried them through. I mean, I think that's a great lesson. I think I'm just going to start believing that I'm the day walker and start walking around during the day. We'll be back in just a second

on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan. Yes.

This show doesn't make itself. It sure doesn't. It requires huge, huge armies of local artisans. It certainly doesn't support itself. Yes. That's why it needs support, and we're grateful for the support of Maximum Funds members. We're also grateful this week

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Yes. This is tasty stuff. I don't know what they make it out of. Who knows? There's literally no way to find out. I'm sure the ingredients are listed somewhere, and I'm sure they're great. Yeah, probably at the bottom of the ocean or something. But the point is, it's incredibly tasty, given that you're really only looking at zero grams of sugar.

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Don't trick me. Yes, she loves to putter. She's an older gal, and I want to make sure. She's a brassy dame. She's a brassy dame, still full of pep, meows, waking me up sometimes at 5 in the morning. Yeah. She does it all. And listen, when you got a cat that you love,

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We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, Go. It's Jordan, Jesse, Go love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, that what's going on no i'm no come on man what a thing what a thing to say to somebody how dare you sir make that assumption heather can i ask you a question yeah i i know you like to build gundams yeah do you ever build like a a space shuttle or or a hot rod or uh any of any of your classic 65 mustang you ever build any of your classic model kits that are in a dusty pile at the at the hobby store i don't i so i've got about halfway through a millennium falcon which was my only kit that doesn't have moving parts. And I was frustrated and bored. One of the most enjoyable things about building a Gundam is watching the articulation come to life.

Like when you finally finish putting together a hand and each little finger moves or like you finish assembling the knee joint which is so many pieces and then you watch how the robot ligaments bend inside the knee before you put the armor around those ligaments it's like heather i'm, I'm sorry to interrupt you. I just have to ask a point of clarification. So I built a few vehicle models when I was a kid. These were like vehicles, you know, famous vehicles, but smaller, made out of plastic. I did both snap tights and glue required. Talking about your basic Revelles.

Yeah. When you build one of these Gundams, it's alive. Yeah, I kiss it and we go on a date so i i don't i yeah i'm no i've i wouldn't create something that wasn't a living companion yeah that's a waste of time yeah something that's either a companion or you can slaughter for meat. Yeah. Delicious Gundam meat. Stuff a juicy Gundam flank. What would you say is your top thing to create to slaughter for meat, Jordan?

Man pig? Man pig is good bugbear sure um but yeah i'm gonna say peach dragon oh yeah yeah gotta delicious gotta make way for the green night am i right oh i haven't seen it ah well i well, I recommend both Pete's Dragon and The Green Knight, both of which are by a director whose name I don't remember right now, but they both totally ruled. That'd be a good, like, oh, I've seen two movies thing, right? Because Green Knight's, like, spooky and alienating.

Yeah, Pete's Dragon has Robert Redford in it. Anyway. Old Robert Redford. Great family film. That was a fun bit we were doing earlier. Yeah. When something momentous happens to you, like you come up with a great idea for the bit we were doing earlier,

give us a call, 206-984-4FUN, or email us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Sonny D., what do we got this week? Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. I'm going to guess Nick Repeat Adams, because this is Adam from Massachusetts calling with a momentous occasion from earlier this summer. Can you pause it for a second, Brian?

Hey there, Jordan, Jesse, and Admiral Thrawn, I'm going to guess, because my surname is Thorn Do you want to start being called Admiral Thorn? Grand Admiral Thorn? No, probably just Admiral Thrawn Yeah Jesse Thrawn God, I'd love to have that long blue face

Face ain't the only thing that's long and blue He's having a problem with his penis. No, I mean his turds, Jesse. Come on, dude. He doesn't have a terrible penis problem? No, his penis is fine. It's a normal penis. Okay.

He didn't go to his doctor and say, well, my outfit is blue, but something's wrong downtown. Nah, man. All the Thrawn equipment works just fine. Okay, Brian,

go ahead and press play. I'm sorry that I ever interrupted it or helped start this podcast. I was coaching my son's little league team, and he said he wanted to try being a catcher. So I told him that we'd have to go get him a cup and everything. First practice, he's wearing it. He's in the gear, getting behind home plate, and I'm helping all the other kids get lined up properly on the field and i turn back around and there's my guy sitting right on

his butt behind home plate just full-on punching himself right in the crotch going yep got on my strong underpants today yes anyway that's all love the show show. Thanks, guys. Oh, I love it. Hooray. Strong underpants. Jordan, you played Little League. Heather, did you ever play Little League when you were a kid? No, I did not. Mostly focusing on the Gundams at the time. I played basketball and track and field and what else?

I guess that's a year, right? That's a school year for a kid. Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah, one's one season, one's another season. Yeah. In Little League, I know I wore a cup. Did you wear a cup in Little League? Sure, I had a hard and a soft, depending on how I was feeling.

Would you have the soft for dance sequences? Yeah. That's what I wanted to feel it a little bit, you know? Got it. Depending on how I was feeling. Would you have the soft for dance sequences? Yeah. Which is what I wanted to feel it a little bit, you know? Got it. You want to feel a little of that sting from the fastball. Sure. You're taking in the jewels.

Sure. Yeah. I mean, in first grade, I caught one in the jewels when I was not wearing a cup. I'll never forget it. So I definitely wore a cup throughout my Little League career. Was this something that happened throughout my Little League career. Was this something that happened in your Little League, Jordan? Or in your track and field, Heather? Did they take the knob of a baseball, line everybody up before the game,

take the knob of the baseball bat and dink everyone in the crotch to make sure they were wearing a cup? They did. It was a different time, Jesse. Was your coach? Yeah, cup check. Coach goes, cup check. Yeah. Gives everybody a dink.

Yeah, gives everybody a dink. Was anything going down like that in ladies' track and field, Heather? They would throw a javelin at your pussy and see if they... Sure. Just to see if they... Sure. Just to see how it was doing. Can it take the jab, they would say. Once a year on my birthday, the wife gives me the old shot put up the ass. Sure. As long as we're saying stuff what a weird thing to discus okay uh no here's another no

that didn't happen i just want to no it didn't happen nothing like it happened nothing no yeah it's not a real thing that happened in the past it's a real genre of pornography that now will certainly happen in the future that you've the secreted into existence okay uh we also heather we got a lot of recurring segments on this program, not just Momentous Occasions, a thing we thought of almost 20 years ago, but also many other things that we've thought of that the audience loves, that they call in for because they love them and because there's such great ideas that we thought of. not just things people are calling it that they thought of, things that we thought of, but we just do have them say what segment they're calling in for up top. Cause there's so many ideas that we've had that we, we, we want to make sure that we're, we're attributing it to the right one.

Brian, why don't you play one of those? Hey Jordan, Jesse and special guest, sports superstar, LeBron James, fresh off the space jam. I'm calling for your segment, things that happened to me four or five years ago that have just come up on the podcast recently. And I was just calling

to let you know that I was the 2015 Star Trek, the VCR board game world champion. I think in 2015. I can't really remember. All right. Love the show all right you gotta beat those fucking

ties oh those ties 20 ties are so good at this star trek vcr the board game yeah you guys ever play a vcr board game wait what the fuck just happened so so he he invented a segment and then told you the the thing from the segment is that am i well we invented the segment because we have a lot of good ideas we we did it it's a running the show doesn't really have a lot going for it so one time someone called up our show thinking it was another podcast they had confused our podcast with another one, and they were like, this is for your segment, like, kids say the darndest things.

Got it, okay. And now we have fully incorporated that. And now people are just kind of calling in, giving the segment, and then giving the content. Makes our job a lot easier. Great. It was pretty hard before.

A couple weeks ago, we were talking about the Star Trek board game with the Sklar brothers, I believe. Yeah, I think we did. There's a Klingon who says, what is that Klingons? I watched that video, by the way. I assumed it was a guy in a voiceover booth

from how the Sklar brothers described it. Fully Klingon'd. Yeah, it's a man in a full Klingon suit just saying, what was that phrase that he says. Yeah, it's a man in a full Klingon suit just saying, what was that phrase that he says? Yeah, it's like time for beach. Experience beach. Thank you, Val. Just saying it

over and over in so many different... It really is spectacular. No, so I have never played a VCR board game. But yeah, they were like a thing for a while, right? They had a minute. I'd love to play the Wayne's World one right now. It's got exclusive Wayne's World

content. Wow, okay. Is it canonical? Yeah, they got Wayne and Garth to be in the board game. The real Wayne and Garth. Not just Mike Myers and Dana Carvey, but the real guys from Aurora Public Access.

Yeah, I don't know who the guys that you're talking about are, but they have the real Wayne and Garth in the VCR board game. It's the only place you can see them besides the movies. You know, I love the Antichrist VCR board game. If you hit the right spot, the fox says chaos reigns. I remember a lot else from that movie. Yeah. But yeah, but it sounds like there is still a world of competitive VCR board gaming going on out there to where this guy had won it at a certain point.

I feel like this is something that went down at the Detroit Star Trek convention. And this is a sick power grab. This is like, they just announced that it was the world champion. They didn't even bother to play the Dutch. Right. Yeah. Did the Dominican Republic get to send a VCR board game player? No, not even one. Sure, they went to Seattle Star Trek Con. Star Con, Trek Con, Trek Con of Seattle, Emerald City Star Con they went to. Can I ask a question? You may. Which is, how does a VCR board game work?

Yeah, I guess I don't really know either. You put in a, I assume you put in a tape. And then do you fast forward and revert? Is it like a choose your own adventure yeah that's a really tough question because i don't know either i know how a philips cd interactive game works it calls up cool video clips but i don't know how you do that on a vcr yeah i think with with like dvd technology like it could be about skipping chapters you know you could just skip to the right

chapters but i'm guessing yeah for probably a vcr board game there's probably a lot of annoying like rewinding and fast forwarding but then you get to meet the real wayne and garth yeah how would you know when it doesn't like you'd be able to see right you would get to see the shit that's not happening as you're fast forwarding past it so It's so weird. Do you think maybe they just give you, is it possible that they just give you a video that they had left over at the video store? Oh, right. Like you're just getting a board game,

like some dice, some pieces, and then... Fat Beach. Cartoon all-stars. Tell you just not do drugs. Heather, what VHS tape would you like to say the name of um wait just any name any name yeah just anyone i said fat beach jordan said cartoon all stars tell you not to do drugs this is really your chance to shine heather you're you're probably you're you're well known for having done improv in the Netherlands. Yeah.

I'm not well known. First off, no, I'm not. Yeah. No, I'm not. Well, in the Netherlands, you're like a god in the Netherlands. No, no, no, and no. No. Oh, man. These people.

If I've got a name. What they love is not paying for their health care and Heather Ann Campbell. Again, they love one of those very much. I'm going to say the friend's guide to Windows 95 would be my VHS tape. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Thanks, Heather. Heather brings the heat every time.

206-984-4FUN, JJGO at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Congratulations, you've won a ticket to attend an exclusive opportunity in a relaxing environment with two lovers. Wow. Well, this sounds like a sort of proposition of sorts, but really, it's an ad for our podcast. Wonderful. It's a show we do here on Maximum Fun where we talk about things that we like and things that we're into. I'm Rachel McElroy and you just heard Griffin McElroy and we are excited for you to join us as we talk about movies and music and books.

Things like sneezing or the idea of rain. Can you get news or information you can use? I don't think so. Absolutely you cannot because we're here to talk to you about pumpernickel bread. You can find new episodes

on Wednesdays. So catch the wave. Video games. Video games. Video games. You like them? Maybe you wish you had more time for them. Maybe you want to know the best ones to play maybe you want to know what happens to mario when he dies in that case you should check out triple click it's a podcast about video games a podcast about video games but i don't have time for that sure you do once a week kickback as three video game

experts give you everything from critical takes on the hottest new releases, to scoops, interviews, and explanations about how video games work, to fascinating and sometimes weird stories about the games we love. TripleClick is hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton, me, Jason Schreier, and me, Maddie Myers. You can find TripleClick wherever you get your

podcasts and listen at MaximumFun.org. Bye! Bye. It's Jordan, Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio, sweetheart, Jordan Morris, boy, detective Heather and Campbell tape measure. Now you looked when you said that the audience who's listening can't see your face right now i guess just when you said that you're you're sitting at your desk uh-huh right now in your home office yeah and when you said that you kind of looked down and to the, down at the surface of your desk, as you were saying, tape measure.

But that's... So I will reach... Do you agree? This is where I'm... I think I was looking. Yeah, towards the surface of your desk, right? And I was looking at a mini disc player that was on my desk. From your fish taping days.

So that's what I was looking at. That's a nice mini disc player. It's about the size of a tape measure. It is the final mini disc player that Sony made, the MZ-RH1. Just a gorgeous little machine. Look at it. It's a beautiful piece of hardware.

It's a beautiful little... Yeah. It's a beautiful little... Yeah. Just remember not to cross me. Oh, my gosh. That's a hammer. Yeah, that's right. More than one of us have hardware on our desk, Heather and Campbell, and I got this beast of a hammer on my desk for some reason.

Can't remember why. Oh, it's because I also have this picture hanging kit on my desk. Because I was going to put up some art. Is that a mini disc stereo behind you? Yeah, it's a mini disc stereo behind me. Where I was listening to mini discs earlier today. What's your most prized mini disc album that you own? Well, I have the entire discography of Oasis.

Because they're my favorite band. I have Rage Against the Machine. But the truth is there's new music being released exclusively on mini disc. No way. There's a really charming subculture of people who really felt like the mini disc was the pinnacle of futurism. And were kind of depressed when the iPod and streaming and everything took over. So they are still releasing albums on Minidisc.

And I love it. I don't know. I had a Minidisc player where you could put MP3s onto the Minidisc. What do you think of that? You can do that, I think, with this one also, the one that's right there on my desk. Sounds like yours is really great too.

They should start making movies that just come exclusively to PSPUMD. Yeah. Love it. It's the only way you can watch this movie. I would love it. Heather Ann Campbell, of course, one of the hosts of the wonderful podcast, How Did This Get Played? It's a podcast

where she and the great Nick Weiger and a guest like probably Jordan. And Matt Apodaca, another hilarious co-host. I didn't know he was also a co-host of the program. We have just initiated

him. He's a host now. Oh, fantastic. And they play ill-conceived and ill-executed video games of various types. Not just the game where you're the seven-up spot, but probably that one. Yeah. Yeah. You ever played that seven-up spot one for the show? Yes. The Noid one? the show yes the noid one you

ever played the noid one yes yeah both of those you ever played seaman on the show yep yeah that one's good though yeah that one's not a bad one that one's hella good seaman rules the trick with seaman is getting uh people to to have the hardware because it's the dreamcast game with the microphone it's it's you know that's a tricky one, but we managed. Yeah, you got to be roommates with Nathaniel. That's how I played it. Nathaniel had the Dreamcast. I am a big listener of How Did This Get Played.

It is a listen to it the day it comes out podcast for me. You three are so funny. It's such a great topic. It's not just goofing on bad games. You also do kind of like weird or fantastic indie games. There's some just general game chat

episodes. It's awesome. I think if you like hilarious people and you like games, you would love the show. Maybe even if you don't like games, you would like it. I think if you just like hilarious podcasting how did this get played uh one of my favorites wow thank you thank you so much that's that's very sweet some great talents there all true all true jordan was the pilot episode yeah i was on uh the show i've played it we've played a couple of bad sonic games. Oh, boy, there's some bad Sonic games. Woo!

You believe that Sonic Leisure Suit Larry, where he gets Sonic pregnant? Right, exactly. He gets pregnant from Suzy Jacuzzi. Blast a baby up in there. Yeah, we played a couple of bad Sonic games. We played Battletoads. Always a fun time to go on How Did This Get Played.

Always a fun time to listen to How Did This Get Played battle toads bad it's a mixed bag battle toads has a lot going on it has um i mean and heather jump in i think kind of where we landed is that like it is a like frustrating game in a lot of ways and like hard to play and some of it isn't executed great but there's like so many cool ideas and it was like they're like really having fun with this shit and it's kind of withstood the test of time in a weird way so like yeah it's like an it's it's it it's a like a charming like it's not an explosion it's just kind of a charming face plant i think yeah i don't know if that sums it up. No, that's great.

Would you say one of the ideas is a what if toads battled? Right, yeah. What if frogs punched rats, and once they punched them four times, their fists got really big? What if there was a hard bike level? Frog fist growth? Common. I mean, you've read about that in zoo books.

I skipped that one. I only read the xenomorph one. Heather Ann Campbell, also a writer on a show that has really, I'm going to be frank, has really been struggling. But I think getting a plug on our program is going to be the difference for it. It's called Rick and Morty. You can check it out on streaming i think i think that's on crackle or something stream it up um so i i recommend giving that a shot um just because i like to look out for the little guy you know um and of course uh if things ever go uh backwards career-wise for heather she's always got the netherlands to fall back on so

if you are dutch look forward to um seeing her at some point there either because things haven't gone the way she wanted in her career or simply because she's taken a break and wants a paid vacation in a cool spot. Heather Ann Campbell, probably the most famous person in the history of the Netherlands. No, that's not. There's the guy that built the seawall. And then there's you. No, no, no.

Yeah. And Frank Bicycle. so you're top three it's the guy who built the seawall frank bicycle um and heather ann campbell i thought you said ann frank bicycle and i was like what the fuck is that joke i can't even wow wow what dark nonsense you've heard no Anne Frank's definitely more famous from being in the Anne Frank bicycle is like a transformer or something it's a nightmare

yeah just like combine just combine a tragedy and a word I don't know Donner Party Tugboat. Donner Party Tugboat. Yeah. Donner Party Tugboat. Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez, Val Moffitt on the stream there,

facebook.com slash JordanJesseGo. You can find us on Twitter with the hashtag JJGo. Chat about the program at Jordan underscore Morris at Jesse Thorne. And look, I think that's all we got to do. You know, it ain't much,

but I guess it's enough. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse Go. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.