Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 709: Monster Mash 69 with Sarah Morgan

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

Sarah Morgan (Bubble graphic novel, The Fear pod) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of what her spooky Halloween Twitter name should be this year, what mistakes Jesse can make that he can blame on the steroids he is taking, and the best books to teach kids about sex.  Plus, Jordan gets a very important missive that threatens to destroy his reputation and possibly his life. It's the second week of the MaxFun Block Party!! We are celebrating all of the great shows on Maximum Fun and asking fans to tell their friends about the Max Fun shows they love! Check out MaximumFun.org/BlockParty to check out everything we are up to this week! Thank you to our sponsors on this week's episode – • SMALLS – Smalls is fresh, human-grade food for cats, delivered right to your doorstep. Take a short quiz on Smalls.com/JJGO to customize your Sampler and use code JJGO for a total of 30% off your first order!• BETTERHELP – BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist. Jordan Jesse Go listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/JJGO.   

Hey, welcome to Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, known on the show as Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I am Jordan Morris, nickname Boy Detective. It's the second week of the Maximum Fun Block Party. You can find more information at MaximumFun.org slash Block Party. But we hope that you will take this opportunity to check out some MaxFun shows you've never checked out or to recommend this show or your other MaxFun shows to your pals because these weeks we are producing shows that we think are some of our best work and most accessible work. So it's a great time to recommend a show. We're

also doing all kinds of stuff, games, stuff happening on social media, all that good stuff you can find at MaximumFun.org slash Block party. But most importantly, we want to thank you for being part of MaxFun and thank you for sharing our work with other people. It means a lot to us. We don't have a marketing budget. You know what I mean? This is what we do. We just say thanks for sharing what we do with other people. It means a lot. Yeah. And if this is your first time checking out the show, welcome. We hope you enjoy it. This episode will be light on the running jokes. And if you are a Jordan Jesse Go fan and you've been wanting to recommend the show to friends but aren't quite sure where to tell them to start, this episode is great. This is one of our favorite recurring guests who is always hilarious.

And yeah, we think it'll be a fun time for everybody let's get into the episode give a little time for the child within you don't be afraid to be young and free undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sex and run you it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse the juice man thorn jordan morris boy detective getting ready for your uh big role in a Marvel movie? So have you started juicing? Yeah, that's exactly what's going on. I'm on the roids right now, Jordan. So if there's any rages, it's sort of not my fault.

Who are you playing? Well, not Mr. Mitzopitalik, because he's friends with Superman. That's a DC guy. Yeah. But I definitely think that when Mr. Mitzapitalik makes his way into the DC universe, he should be jacked. I know he's like in the comics, you know, he's like a thirties character and he's like a little, you know, elf guy in a top hat. But I think like when we see him, we want to see that groin V muscle, you know, that,

you know, that groin, that groin V you know that groin that groin v yeah the one that points to the dick i know it um you know how our uh you know our friend past guest of this program kumail nanjiani is a movie star now and he got really jacked yes um i think that's kind of the end game for carrot top is he's gonna play jacked mr mit. Mitzel. Oh, shit. That is good casting. That is good casting. Yeah. And I think that like I don't know if you saw this today. This was a big Twitter thing today. Obviously, it'll be a little old when this comes out. But there Steve Harvey posted a photo in like an all green suit and people and it has gotten people demanding a Steve Harvey Riddler, which I could not be more in favor of as someone who watches 10 hours of Family Feud a week. There's nothing I want more than for Steve

Harvey to be the Riddler. So yeah, I mean, I think what this is pointing to is kind of a Batman's Rogues gallery made up of all comics who are still popular today, but reach the zenith of their popularity in the late 80s. Yeah, I'm all for it. I mean, where are you imagining Howie Mandel fitting into this? Oh, I mean, God. Oh, can I suggest something, Jordan? Yeah, sure. I mean, if you got one. Catwoman? Gotta be Rita Rudner. Oh, yeah. Rudner is Catwoman. Rita Rudner. Oh, yeah. Rudner is Catwoman. Yahoo Sirius is Mr. Freeze.

And of course, Gallagher is Commissioner Gordon. I know he's not a rogue. He's one of Batman's friends, but let's just fill out the whole cast. Yeah, that's part of Batman's friend gallery. Yeah. Who else would you say is his top friends? You got Robin. Robinin you got um butler

butler al yeah uh sure and then do you think batman has like some friends from high school that come over sometimes they like here's what here's what batman does with his friends from high school yeah so there's that like week where everybody goes back home for Thanksgiving, and they get together at the Irish pub in their town. Like the day after Thanksgiving or at night once everybody's done eating, he sees his friends from high school, and they have a couple too many black and tans, and they have a good cry over what could have been. Yeah.

Maybe Batman has sex with a girl from high school that had a crush on him, but he was too closed off to notice. Right. Right. Exactly. He's never noticed. I want that for Batman. I do.

I want that too. Just a connection. God, yeah. Absolutely. Just even if it's transitory intimacy, I want it for him. And then you don't spend your life worrying about what could have been. Right. I mean, he'll probably still worry about what it would have been like had his parents not

been brutally murdered in front of him. So, Jesse, this is so funny that we're talking about this today because tonight, this very night... Your parents are going to be brutally murdered. My parents. Yes, I'm going to see Zorro with them near Crime Alley. We're going to go home through Crime Alley. You know, we usually wouldn't go that way, but the Joker's planning a protest.

With the lockdown and everything, it's been hard to find places for your mom to wear her furs. Right. Yeah. Tonight, I'm going to my 20th high school reunion. Wow. Yeah. Put off a year because of COVID.

But yeah, I i mean just based on what we're talking about i just hope i get a chance to fuck batman but if not him my second choice is millionaire bruce wayne right so one of those two ideally we all have a three-way they have similar similar, I would say. Wouldn't you say they got similar vibes? I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. One's Batman and one's millionaire Bruce Wayne.

Yeah, they seem like they have similar vibes to me, but maybe it's just me. That's you. Maybe it's just me. I had migraines every day for like three weeks, so I had to go on steroids. Okay. I had migraines every day for like three weeks. So I had to go on steroids. Okay. This is what they do to stop. Because when you take a lot of migraine medication, it just makes you have more migraines after a while.

And so they put me on roids. And I don't know if I'm feeling anything from the roids, but I like having that to fall back on. Oh, like if something happens, you can just blame the roids? Like when Jose Canseco was, I mean, I know I've mentioned this a number of times because it's the most important thing that happened in my entire childhood. But when Jose Canseco got pulled over going like 115 miles an hour in his Porsche, and he said that it was because it was knocking and pinging.

So he wanted to see what would happen if he put jet fuel in it. You know, it's just now, oh yeah, it's the roids. You know, it's just roiding. There you go. You know, I just want to make some choices like that. Well, this is only a five day course of steroids, six day course of steroids. So I only, I already did one, one and a half days of steroids. So I only have like three days to make bad decisions and blame it on the roids. And I haven't even, I don't even have ideas for what to do. Dude, you should throw out a box without cutting it up first. Man. And then go, oh, the fucking roids. I just forgot to cut up this box.

Oh God. That would be, that would be truly like, if you put a list of bad decisions I could make for my life right now, and one of them was getting on the freeway, accidentally strike a woman pushing a baby stroller, knock her onto the freeway, drive away without saying anything. I think not cutting up a box before I put it in the recycling bin, given the number of people who live in my house and the number of boxes we have would be more catastrophic for me. I would have to deal with the emotional ramifications for the rest of my life with not knowing what happened to that woman and the baby that I pushed onto the freeway. Yeah. Or I know what you did last summer situation where she comes back and hooks you. Yeah. Sorry, spoilers. Spoilers for that

movie that came out when I was 14. But I think that dealing with the like most of my emotional energy as a father of three uh who orders everything via online shopping is dedicated towards how am i gonna get all these fucking boxes into this recycling bin that's why you gotta cram them in their hole while you're juicing i'm sitting here at my desk recording jordan jesse go i have this box opening device at the ready. Nice. This is, it's both a box opening device and a hooking device, by the way. Perfect for hooking.

If you know what someone did last summer. Oh man. You could really get some revenge on some teens. But this is the best of now. We're just getting into serious things about opening, cutting down boxes. We'll introduce our guest momentarily. This is this is the most amazing tool. Yeah. Sorry, Sarah, you're actually bumped. on your popular internet websites. And it's got like a hook, a pointy plastic hook. And then on the other side with a blade inside it so you can drag it.

But then it's got this roundy part for poking. God, I love opening boxes. Man, that could go right into Skeet Ulrich's eye. Ah, yeah. I think he was in I Know What You Did Last Summer. Yeah, I don't really know who he is. Maybe I'm confusing it with Scream. He's an actor who has a distinctive name.

Beyond that, I have nothing. Maybe Jamie Kennedy was in it. Who knows? That's a great guess. Yeah. Our guest on the program is a spookthusiast. She's a comedy writer. She's the co-author of the bestselling graphic novel

Bubble. She's a good friend of ours for many years, the great Sarah Morgan. Joining us from across the pond. Hi, Sarah. How are you? Hi. Ahoy, hoy, everyone. I'm all right. I appreciate you displaying for the podcast audiences a copy of Bubble in the background. Oh, I nearly had it then. Hang on. Zoom shot. There you go. There you go. The bubble is crooked and Sarah is pretending like she's holding it up. I think she's doing a head crusher from Kids in the Hall.

Yeah, there you go. Crushing your face. Crushing your head. There you go. Yeah. I've got quite a few copies. No one wanted one. Sarah had a huge box of these things. Can't give them away to British people. They're not interested.

Sarah, do you have any ideas about, uh, mistakes I could make while I'm juiced? Oh, um, have you, what about having very, very small, hard, tiny testicles? I'd love to have a little way ahead way ahead of you Two steps ahead of you I mean just then you can blame it on the roids Blame it on the juice baby I love that That was a solid Lizzo right Very good Lizzo

You've got a great Lizzo Thanks friends Sarah do you Okay two questions One was Skeet Ulrich in i know what you did last summer as a horror fan i think you'll be able to i am i was yeah i oh god skeet hang on i can type it in uh i have the device right in front of me skeet all right looks like no no i think he's in scream scream he's a riverdale parent now i haven't seen any of those

i haven't even seen one of them apparently there's an episode of riverdale where they do uh hedwig and the angry inch i'm now so confused as to what this program for children might be that i'm gonna have to it's like five seasons in i'm like okay i think i saw a little thing and i basically keep up with riverdale because like there's a section of twitter that tweets exclusively about riverdale sure and they'll kind of make their way into my feed sometimes you want them to be your friends talking about dave shumka yeah jordan those kids will like you for who you are stop trying to impress them but i just want to pretend like I watch Riverdale.

So the people, the teen, who are they? Who watches it? Anyway, so, and I guess like Sabrina the Teenage Witch is now in Riverdale. So with your reveal that they can also do Hedwig and the Angry Inch, I think Riverdale is just whatever. Yeah. Yeah, I suspect so. whatever yeah yeah i suspect so i think there's probably a showrunner who just knows that the beautiful people will move around on the screen in pleasing shapes and colors and then then then he just puts things he likes on them they're like listen we've been doing this for 10 seasons as long as jughead takes his shirt off yeah he's like i got the rights to the characters from Omega Man. Let's fold them in.

Chuck Heston's still alive. A sexy version of the F Troop gang is going to join. I got a couple Animaniacs, not the main ones. We have Chicken Boo and Slappy Squirrel. Got some of the Heathcliff gang. Not Heathcliff. We just have some fish bones that we pulled out of his mouth. That's the one thing about Heathcliff.

You got the and company from Heathcliff and Company. Right, yes. Got Denver the dinosaur skateboard. We have the company. Sarah, as a noted horror fan, you have a podcast about horror. That sounded like so different what you were saying. As a noted horror fan you have a podcast like so different what you're saying so

as a noted horror fan yeah horror fan i'm sorry yes um what you what are you doing to commemorate the spookiest time of year oh yeah it's not it's not quite come home goth christmas this year in the uk i don't think'm, I'm getting all these kind of, you know, there's been no spooktaculars once again. Um, I'm, uh, I, I, I've been observing what's going on in LA and it sounds like things are back sort of slowly coming back to normal. There's a universal Halloween horror nights and things like that, that no, everyone's doing faces like, no, I think this year they're not allowed to come near you. They have to social distance from you at horror nights and not scary environments.

Shouting you from two meters away. I mean, yes, I genuinely think, isn't that what's going on, Jordan? You follow these things closer than I. Yeah. So, you know, like the big West Hollywood Halloween parade is not happening happening this year so that's you know that's that's a bummer fun thing that uh you know it's not reasonable to have people are gonna have to find new excuses to have sex it's gonna be tough it's gonna be tough but i think dressed as a smurf or something anybody comes up with a good one, let me know. If so,

but yes, so I think like the theme park spooktaculars are back in kind of an altered form and basically what happens is that the zombies and ghouls,

you know, can't jump out. They can't get close to you, but like while you're walking, they let you know that their buddy is out in the parking lot keying your car.

They go, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Oh, fuck! It's a fucking loner! The real monster is actually my aunt on Facebook who thinks COVID is a lie. Yeah, right. They just tell you about the horrors of this historical moment. It's actually trickle down capitalism. Oh god. How would you like to buy a key ring

of me telling you that? Oh, it's a wolfman! Oh, Joe Manchin! People are getting their news from Joe Rogan! Musical guest in Florence and the Machine! My spooky voice is similar to my SNL announcer voice. No, I'm trying to, I think the one thing I feel like I should do for Halloween is, is change my Twitter handle to something spooky, but I'm not feeling the base. It seems like

I don't really like being on Twitter and I know it's a very, this is an unusual opinion that no one's ever had before. But I think Twitter is quite bad for you and not a good way for discourse, for people to discourse. But I also kind of need to use it for work. And also people sometimes send pictures of like pets reading Bubble. So that's very important. I collate all the pictures of pets, people making, sort of forcing their pets to read Bubble. I have a little folder of those pictures that I, so I must collate all the pictures of pets people making sort of forcing their pets to read bubble i have a little folder of those pictures that i uh um so i must collate those but i don't really but i think i the way to sort of avoid getting sucked into the sort of more horrible side of twitter would be if i've got like such a stupid spooky halloween name that

even like spam bots won't want to get into sort of gender critical chats with me. Just fuck off. I'm called like spooky, spooky, you know, monster mash 69 or something. Anyway. So if anyone has any,

any suggestions, I've run the gamut of spooky names. I think cause Sarah, Sarah L. Morgan is my Twitter handle. So there's scarer there's i did the simpsons thing of her scary hell morgan um i'm open to thoughts gang yeah no let's let's see if we can if we can gang this i just want to point out before we move too far away brian i think

monster mash 69 pretty solid name for the episode. Anyway. Yeah. So, yeah. So you've done. Can I also, sorry. Can I also. Pretty solid name for a John Cougar Mellencamp album. Yeah.

So, yeah. I was working in the lab. So what, so you've done Sarah Hellmore. Yeah. Like James Hellbrooks. I've gone, I've done this sort of Simpsons treehouse of horror versions of my name,

I think. Yeah. Yeah. Scara. You've done Scara. Okay. Morgan. More,

more Rose. Something. I always, you know, I always, you know, there was a day where I had some hope that I might one day write for The Simpsons. That will never happen. But I think that, you know, like, I was always planning for my Halloween name. I was always saying, like, Jordan Morose.

Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Yeah. So, yeah. So, I mean, I don't know if that fits in with, maybe not quite. It's maybe a little bit of a. I've had spooky organ music before. That was pretty solid.

What about Sarah Morgan's monster? Oh, yeah. What about actually it's. Actually, the real monster is Sarah Morgan. They use it very fast. Yeah, sure. Okay. That'll work.

Can I let you guys know about a real scare that I had recently? Yeah, I'd love to. I mean, keep it light, but... Oof, I mean... Oh, don't. Did you realize your life was half over? What? Hold on.

39, 40... Oh, my God! Oh, fuck! you realize your life was half over what hold on 39 45 oh my god oh fuck time to get a corvette um and this is you know and this is something like for you guys but also you know i think i think this is something i've wanted to do with the audience for a while because like you know i like trust them and i like you know and i know that it's a two-way street you know trust and and um you know i think something might come out about me um very soon i just kind of wanted to get in front of this and like let you guys know and i just you know jesse justin sir you're both close friends of mine. Our reputations are tied together. So if this is going to be,

if you're going to become the topic of the day on Twitter, I need to know now. Right, yeah. And I mean, hopefully just when this comes out, something is happening on Riverdale that will influence it. Yeah. Or Steve Harvey is wearing polka dots

now. Look, you can't eclipse Lady Pinhead again. Oh, yeah. Lady Pinhead Day was the best day on Twitter. That was a lot of fun. Jesse, did you know there's going to be a Lady Pinhead? You know, I know more today than I have ever known in my life about Pinhead because my daughter has been telling me stuff about Pinhead. Oh. She has not seen.

In fact, she couldn't remember what Pinhead's movie was called. Right. But she's really into the Garbage Pail Kid parody of Pinhead. Oh. Where there's like a pizza cutter in the head and stuff. That's funny. So she learned a lot about Pinhead through that venue. It's always nice to like just capture your children's passions and use them for learning.

And is she keeping up with Pinhead reboot casting news? Yeah. So who's Lady Pinhead now? What's the name of the actress? Let me find it. The character is traditionally being played by a man in the three films uh oh sorry jamie clayton uh is the actor who's playing uh pinhead in the film in in the in the new reboot uh by hulu um and it's it's genuinely made people cross on twitter in a way that is just... No! No! Really?

Someone's childhood has been ruined by that. And it makes me... Genuinely not my pinhead. Woke pinhead. Right. Listen, I just want my daughter to be able to see a pinhead who looks like her. I want her to see herself in pinhead.

What's my son going to do for strong pinhead role models in the future? You're ruining my pin childhood. Yeah, now that he doesn't have Star Wars. Yeah, can't have James Bond anymore. Right. Guy, I was trying to do a fake thing where I was worried about, listen, something happened. I'm sorry, Jordan. I crashed your very important news that you need to start apologizing for stuff. That's okay.

Go back into the voice. Imagine you're opening a notes app and you're going to write an apology and then put that up on Instagram. Okay. I'm braced. I'm ready. Okay. I'm with you, buddy. That's how it's done. I was, so, you know, I don't how it's done. I don't typically go into my spam folder on my email. I'm assuming that whatever spam filter is kind of taking care of everything. But I was doing a job recently where we were collaborating on OneNote. And sometimes you need a OneNote password and it sends it to your spam. Blah, blah, blah. I don't need to explain to you guys how OneNote works.

I actually have, in my job, we have a few few notes but it's not a big deal it's just an important job so anyway i saw a spam mail that caught my eye um and i'm like well maybe i should open this thing um so i did and what i saw was pretty troubling. And I think I just, just to let you guys know, um, I'm just going to read this verbatim. The title is Jordan Morris. Oh, wow. Hold on. I mean, that's your name. So Jordan, that's your actual name.

So this is actually personally addressed to you. I know. This isn't some miscellaneous mass thing. This is a one-to-one communication. So yeah, this is from Leo Post. I feel like Leo wouldn't have emailed you directly if this wasn't important. No, I know. And he put my name, sort of not only emailed to my email, but put my name as the subject line.

Yeah. Shit. Well, I mean, what if your assistant is going through the emails and they're not sure to whom to direct it? Exactly. So here we go. Leo Post, by the way, is Emily Post's husband. He's also very polite. So here's how it starts.

Hola, Jordan. Wait a minute. Is this Leo Post or is this the guy that fixed my ukulele? Hola, Jordan. I do see you really love Onanism. I mean, there's no question. If there's one Onan-like man in this recording, it's my friend Jordan Morris. That's true. Self-abuse is your middle name jordan yeah so i don't know if i know you're a big horror fan i don't know if you

but was a biblical character go hand in hand no pun intended yes uh onan was a biblical character known for spilling his seed. Yeah. I Googled Oh, Nan just now just to help you out, Sarah. Yeah. And I genuinely thought it was Thor's dad for a minute. I didn't. Oh, yeah. Didn't Anthony Hopkins play Oh, Nan?

There is a line of Oh, Nan RV generators. That's not what we're talking about. But there's a section that says people also ask, and I clicked on what did Onan do? When Onan had sex with Tamar, he withdrew before he ejaculated and spilled his seed on the ground since any child born would not legally be considered his heir. The next statement in the Bible says that Onan did evil and that God slew him. Onan, the original MOP, master of pullout. Do people say that? That's something that in seventh grade sex ed,

the woman who came from Planned Parenthood said, some people call themselves. It doesn't matter if you think you're an M.O.P. master of pullout. You still have to wear a condom to be set. And I was like, what? I don't think people say that. I'm 12. She's heard that before.

Like someone said that to her in person. Yeah. Great Metallica album. Master. Master. before like someone said that to her in person yeah great metallic album master i spill my seed upon the ground hola jordan i do see you really love onanism oh you such a cunty pervert. Now that's just British stuff. Yeah, I mean, he's just being friendly. I'm not going to bore the ass off you with philosophy, and I'll proceed to the point.

Thank you. I have infected your device with my rogue application, which grants me overall control. You'd better shut off or cover up your webcam on your device when doing this kind of things. Possible one can access a film a bit of you. And not only that, during your last playing with yourself, I have recorded a video without your participation. Now my intention is to distribute it to your family and upload it to the web. My intention is to participate next time. Except for the chance to film a video utilizing your camera,

I have access to your electronic mail and social networking sites contacts. Oh, this is all making sense now. I wondered what that video was. Yeah. If you get a quick time from me, do not open it. It was from Leo Post, but it's... What I found interesting was that he was able to manipulate, Mr. Post was able to... Leo Post. Leo Post. Was able to manipulate your webcam such that I could see where upon your seed spilled. Right. Otherwise, it's difficult to make an evaluation.

Why were you near all that stony ground? That's LA for you, I guess. I'd love to jack off in Holland. Newfoundland is my number one place to climb. I cannot come. Very dusty LA this time of year. Very dusty. Cannot come unless there's a windmill above me.

My wife knows to prepare for my orgasm when I start lifting my feet up and going, ooh, ow, ow, ooh, ooh. When you put on some Crocs. Train's coming into the station, man. Get my C-Crocs and you shout at us. I have access to your electronic mail and social networking sites contacts. I think all of them are going to be shocked by your hobby.

Nah, not all of us. Yeah, who? Which who? No, really? Nah, not shocked. That guy? Does he also like watching Simpsons DVD commentaries? Yes.

I have filmed video of you watching YouTube video on Dark Souls lore. Why you waste so much time with this? I just like item-based world building. Anyway. You, my dear pervert, should to transfer a compensation for keeping me quiet. Then I'll destroy all dirt on you. Even CD-Rs of Japanese fighting games from 2002. I just want to play Last Blade II on Dreamcast.

I understand. Last Blade I was awesome. Got to see what the sequel's all about. They really ramped it up with II. It's the good Last Blade game. You are given 48 hours to transfer my remuneration. As soon as you read this message,

I will receive notification. Failing this, if you decide to play games with me and neglect me within 19 six hours, I will present your shameful clip to all your comrades and closest people and put it on the net.

This is trouble. What are you going to do when the comrades find out? The comrades and the net, you know? Sandy Bullock's coming after you, buddy. Boy, that's the last thing I need. If I do not receive my... Sandy Bullock's in stony ground. I might have to take advantage of the chance earlier

and await my award for unlocking, but the matter is that there is not always possible to unblock the device remotely even after receiving award but i'll think over this possibility if i do not receive my money do not try and get in touch with me this mail is hacked and soon the access to it will be denied so i was really worried i mean we joke but that's intense yeah i was really worried so i just responded back with hi leo what's onanism nothing and then nothing he's a ghost leo's a ghost so this really is a spooky halloween tale yeah yeah i had him pegged for a wolfman the whole time.

You had him pegged? Yeah. Yeah, that's another video I made. Pegged as a werewolf is something I might have looked up in my time. Why not? Take a look. A lot of Chuck Tingle book I might have bought in a quiet moment. See what Benicio Del Toro did before he was famous.

Listen, a lot of shit goes down at monster mash 69 this is this i this is a a a popular spam email going around these days kind of threatening you in this kind of verbose way about having filmed you masturbating um has has anybody else received one of these no no one in the world has received this i don't think i don't think an email has come through my, has slipped through my spam filter in many years. I think I should be looking at my spam filter once in a while. I'm probably getting important messages there. Just run yourself a bath, get a hand mirror. Check out the old spam filter. Light some candles.

I'm checking here. It's primarily just notifications from LinkedIn. But I do get a lot of, I do get a lot for 15-ish years. I have been on the email list. So I work very hard to keep my work email off of publicity email lists because otherwise it would just take over my entire inbox. And so for many years, we had a special email address for press releases and I had an auto reply that said, please send press releases

here or I will mark you spam and put you on the dead list forever. But I think maybe even since we lived in Santa Cruz, Jordan, I have been getting press releases for a record label called Horror, Pain, Gore Death. Okay. I'm listening. And when you get an email, like I just saw this one, it says, Horror Pain Gore Death Productions have premiered the new video from Extreme Death Metal Act, Necronemesis, featuring Rick Ross of Death Massacre. And like, I just feel like...

The Hampshire Death Massacres. I don't want to stop that from coming to me. Yeah, no, I mean, if you want to know. It's not of use to me, but... I think it will be someday. You will have... This is one of those things. You now, you're like,

well, why am I getting these emails? I've been getting these emails for, you know, 10 years or however long. There's going to be a time where you need to book a death metal band for something. Yeah. And this is going to be an invaluable resource. I don't know what it is. I mean, maybe like... I mean, if your daughter is getting into pinhead, it's only a matter of time before she's into

death metal and she's probably going to have a birthday coming up. Yeah. That's true. And it's going to need a little entertainment. Yep. And she's going to want to hear her favorite song from this album here, They Live in the Attic. Her favorite song being track one, Cranial Disfigurement, then in parentheses, By Fist. Sarah, can I back up to your remark about getting the hand mirror? Sure. In that scenario, is the spam filter the taint?

I mean, I was thinking more vaginally than that, but I mean, we can give this five minutes in the room if you want. We can bounce this around. Really see, you know. Yeah. I think we got to work through, kind of got to work through the consequences of this our body ourselves analogy. Yeah.

To make this really count. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, what is the best part of the, you know, erotic personage to be the spam filter, I guess? Would you open things up and take a look at the prostate maybe it's the butthole yeah maybe that's the spam filter when you say butthole you mean turd cutter no never say such a thing i've never looked at my parts with a hand mirror, but I admire those who have.

You know, like I like the idea of someone who reads one of those books that the woman brings you from Planned Parenthood in seventh grade or that you get from the friendly, well-lit sex store. And then, but like the 70s one, not the our bodies ourselves-ish one, not necessarily a newer one. It just gets into it. Just goes down there and takes a look at things. I support that. Let's get to know our bodies. To the American ones, because I've discovered this fairly recently, and this isn't a bit, this isn't meant to be, it's just something that's been plaguing me

is trying to find a sort of our bodies educational book for my daughter and finding that the clitoris is excluded from these books. And I found that mind blowing. I thought, I just kind of assumed, maybe the seventies books they're not in, but even the modern ones, it's sort of considered to be this like, no, we don't tell them about that for a long, until they're much older. Is it excluded or can they just not find it?

Well, I feel like I need some kind of like tonight show drum roll. Listen, we would love to include this thing on the wrong page. If you know what I mean? Can I, as long? Yeah, no, I think it's,

it's shocking to me. And I wondered if the States, which have sort of famously slightly more prudish than the UK are about, is that something that comes up in those anatomy? I have to say, um, I, as long as we're not being funny,

I have a very sincere recommendation on this topic. I'm sure there are some parents out there who want to know how to talk to their kids about their bodies. But for like middle grades kids, for like kids who are maybe below middle school, you know, seven to 11 kind of kids, there's a really great book called Sex is a Funny Word by Corey Silverberg. I was literally just about to say that. That's the one book I found.

It is such a great, it is such a great book, like totally inclusive, totally age appropriate, but like actually contains a lot of really good information. And that person also wrote a picture book called What Makes a Baby that like, just a total home run in our house. Like totally, like no obfuscation, but also nothing um nothing too

explicit and uh like very inclusive of ways that babies can become part of families both of those books really great cory silverberg what a winner uh not funny at all uh we laugh and we learn i think that's it but yeah everybody's getting a hand mirror when they turn 14 turn 14 i give them a hand mirror and say take a look at that turd cutter take a look at that spam filter yeah see if there's any publicity emails down there filter that spam baby cop a squat kid we got something to talk about um the one i got as a kid had uh did not have any actual like photos in it but it had cartoon characters who looked like they were from do you remember that like cartoon from the 70s the point yeah sure with like a bunch of harry nelson songs yeah they all looked like Harry Nilsson.

That's not too bad. They all did look, yeah, yeah. He's wearing that dirty bathrobe from Nilsson Schmilson. Right. So that's the one I got and don't feel like I was actually informed by it. I think that the quality of those drawings upset me. My parents were good about not making me feel ashamed about

sexual stuff. And when I got my first serious girlfriend, um, not my wife, but a pre a preceding girlfriend, um, and we were doing stuff together. Um, my mom got me the good vibrations guide to sex, good vibrations being the local to my neighborhood, um, like lesbian don't sex toy store. And, um, I remember being so disappointed in it because it was a very big book, just like a 300 page book. And it had no pornography at all in it. Just zero pornography. I remember being so mad that none of it was pornographic in any way. It was all like safety related advice for acts I would definitely not be participating in for another 10 or 15 years. Is it like dental dams? Yeah. It was basically 300 pages of dental dams.

If you can't find a dental dam, use non, it was basically 300 pages of dental dams. We use non-microwavable cling film. I think that dental dams speak to the sexual safety of the millennial generation. I think almost all of our sex ed, for those of us who grew up in more liberated places, it was almost exclusively dental dam related information. Look, if you're out there and you're using dental dams, let us know. How's it work on that turd cutter? 206-984-4FUN. How you damming?

Yeah. Has dam technology changed? Colors, flavors, textures, materials. Yeah. You know what I did learn about that, about the dental dam situation? You know, you mentioned, Sarah, that they're always talking about, well, in a pinch, saran wrap. Oh yeah. As you call it. Yeah. Did you know that saran wrap is porous? Stretch, plastic stretch film is porous. And so when you, this is, we're getting right into hints from Heloise straight out of the hand mirror here. We're really bouncing all over everywhere. Sorry,

guys. It's just the roids. But... Oh my God, he's cutting up a box. Run. But cling film, because it stretches, it has like holes that grow when it stretches. That's how it stretches. And so that's why like if you want to wrap up something to put in the freezer, but you don't want it to dry out, like you have a, you know, like you're, you're saving a steak for later or something. You wrap it in cling film so that it's, so that water won't be extracted from it, from, uh, from the freezer. Cause the, uh, the freezer is a desiccant. And what if you want to like eat the steak's pussy?

Yeah. I mean, then you just go to town. I mean, you gotta put a little, you gotta, you gotta take like a hobby knife and give it a little down the middle. So there's a way to get some purchase. Oh, you have to make a pussy. Yeah. Uh, and it's be on the topic of you don't have to make jordan you don't have to make a clitoris you can just attach a raisin with some peanut butter

it's gonna call it ants on a log so there's a very cheap out here by just having me say the word aluminium so oh there you go. Excellent. Well done. Thank you. Give the people what they want when they hear that word. What's an elevator called over there? Say it. Your mom.

Oh, nice. And on the topic of like, you know, sexual shame or sexual comfort and, you know, kind of where we are with that as a culture. When I got that spam email about my onanism, I feel like I was kind of forced to imagine a scenario where that's real and there's some sort of weird... Yeah, I don't know how they would distribute it, but if for for some you know my email contacts all got a quick time of me jerking it i was kind of like forced to like think about like okay what would what would that be like if that were true and i'm like would that

how would i feel and i and i mean maybe it just kind of speaks to like where we are, you know, in regards to masturbation as a society. But I was kind of like, eh, whatever. Like, I mean, I do have Charlie Brooker's email somewhere.

We could see this. Just specifically you wanking. Yeah. Charlie, I've got a fucking, it's a really good one no think about it for a second what if yeah everyone in the world got an email of jordan morris wanking no it has to be jordan morris who's that that's who mr post is interested in watching

oh yeah i wonder in this scenario is mr did mr post himself derive some some excitement from the video of me cranking it yeah he didn't get involved no we know that he called you a cunty pervert oh you cunty pervert but that could be a term of endearment we don't know where he's from great sufjan stevens Yeah, really good one. Well, let's take a break, guys. We've got phone calls to take. We've got all kinds of stuff to do. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go.

It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Now, Jordan, every single goddamn episode of this show is brought to you by the beautiful people who are members of MaximumFun.org. And when I say you, I'm talking about you, the beautiful people who are members of MaximumFun.org. Thank you very much. Every single one of you. We love you. We're also supported this week by the folks at Smalls.

Protein-packed meals your feline friends will love. Yeah, here's what Smalls is, Jesse. It's fresh human-grade food for cats delivered right to your doorstep. Yes, that's right, Jordan. Human-grade. Yeah. This meat is just as good as the flesh of man. I think it means, Jesse, that it's good enough for a human to eat. So,

you know, if it's good enough for a South American soccer team stranded in the Andes, it's good enough for your cat. The flesh of man from Smalls. It's not. Smalls is not. It's equivalent. It's not human meat. It's as good as. It's as good as something a human would eat. And hey, it's delivered right to your doorstep.

Jesse, you know this. All cats are obligate carnivores. They need fresh protein packed meals. God damn it. They need them. I had them pegged. I had them pegged as a different kind of carnivore. Should have had a gag going into this flobbligate carnivore, but go ahead.

No, that was good. Thank you. Conventional cat food. I pitched it at the Oscars, but fucking Bruce Valanche wouldn't put it on air. Yeah. It's just, I mean, he's he's you know he's just worried he's worried that he said it wasn't in whoopi's voice uh so listen a lot of cat food that you get at the supermarket it's made using low quality cheap meat byproducts grains and starches and coated in artificial flavors yuck you don't want that going into your cat smalls they've enlisted cat nutritionists to help complete balanced recipes for all life stages

and hey because the cat's getting a better quality meal that litter box is going to smell a whole lot better. If you know what I mean. You got a cat. Would you give your cat this Smalls food, Jordan? Jesse, I've given this cat Smalls and she loves it. And she's a picky eater. I genuinely have a hard time switching my cat's food. Like I've had a couple instances where her food has gotten discontinued and I've had to switch and it's been a really like picky, weird ordeal and I've been worried about her. But Jesse, I tried a little bit of the Smalls and she loves it. So I would guess that your cat will probably love it too. And it's going to lead to a nicer smelling litter box, nicer smelling kitty breath so you can give them lots more kisses. so you can give them lots more kisses.

And hey, if you go to smalls.com slash JJGO, you can take a short quiz to customize your sampler and use JJGO as your code at checkout for a total of 30% off your first order. That's smalls.com slash JJGO. Code JJGO. This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Now, we have spoken very frankly on this program about all of the value that we have gotten out of therapy. There are a lot of reasons why therapy can be difficult to access. It might be

difficult to access geographically, financially. It might just be hard to get a good referral that you like. BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers phone, video, and even live chat sessions with your therapist so that you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It is an easy and direct way to access therapy. And it might be the best way to access therapy for you. Yeah. I am a huge fan of therapy. My life got so much better once I started going. And it's great. And you don't have to be going through the crisis of your life. Although if you are, it's a great excuse to check it out. But definitely it's just great for kind of dealing with the stuff that comes at you every week. I think it's really awesome.

And BetterHelp is a great option if you want to give it a shot. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash JJGo. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash JJ Go. You get 10% off your first month. We also have something up on the Jumbotron, a message from Megan. She's a Jordan Jesse Go listener. She says, do you love to watch TV movies or do you proudly hate watch them? And I want to point out she did spell those out what I would call Prince style. Yeah. In the Prince manner. Yes. Letter U number two. Either way, dive into discussions about Hallmark, Lifetime, Netflix, and SyFy channel movies every other week by listening to Megan Tripp on Not Another Bad Movie Podcast. Past guests include Max Fun Celebrity's Alonso Giralde of Maximum Film,

Dan McCoy from The Flophouse, and Jordan Morris of Jordan Jesse Go. Not to mention all of Megan's IRL pals. You will love, God, who doesn't love Megan's pals? Listen, I love Megan's pals. I love Dan. I love Alonso. You don't have to have gone to high school with Megan to love Megan's pals. I love Dan. I love Alonzo. You don't have to have gone to high school with Megan to love Megan's pals. They're great pals. Yeah, I had a lot of fun doing Megan's podcast. We watched a very goofy

Netflix erotic thriller starring either Dylan McDermott or Dormant Mulrooney. I don't know which. I am not doing a bit. I genuinely don't remember which one it was. Was it produced by Netflix? Or was it just on Netflix? Does Netflix have a whole lane of money that's just going to Dermot Mulroney and Delmet Mulroney? Yeah, I mean, I think they have a whole financial wing that's just dedicated to getting those two guys to walk into the shower

and you can see their butt for a couple seconds search for not another bad movie podcast wherever you get podcasts subscribe today if you want to get up on the jumbotron maximumfund.org slash jumbotron if you're a jordan jesse go listener we'll share we'll share your birthday wishes your tell off to your old boss probably not that we for that would be this would be a bad way to tell off to your old boss probably not that we for them this would be a bad way to tell off your old boss yeah probably your boss is going to be really happy to hear themselves talked about on jordan jessico their favorite podcast yeah but every single other instance is appropriate yeah for a jordan jessico jumbotron we love doing them so uh so get over there and buy

yourself a jumbotron it's fun for everyone we'll be back in just a second on jordan jessica Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, You're the first choice in our hearts. We just have to make sure that other people get a chance to get on the show. Yeah, I know. No, we wanted to have you on, Sarah, because this is a block party episode. And we needed a home run hitter. It's Sarah Morgan season, baby. It's Sarah season. Sarah foul last week.

Want to smash a line drive? Sarah Morgan's your best bet for a fast ball to comedy hilarity. Don't know what those words mean. We know these are like, these are kind of special episodes. Oh, bless. You know, I was, yeah, I was, I was, I could, I actually momentarily blanked on what my real JJ Goh nickname was, but I've remembered it now. What is it? It was the European eel smuggler. Yeah. Cause I smuggled you some eels once, Jesse. Sarah once smuggled us some eels for people who are listening because it's the block party. That's a real thing that really happened.

And they were foul, which is truly disgusting. Yeah. When something momentous happens to you, we ask you to give us a call at 206-984-4FUN, momentous happens to you, we ask you to give us a call at 206-984-4FUN or send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org for our segment Momentous Occasions. Now our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez has listened to your Momentous Occasions and has chosen this one to share with you, the world. Press play, Brian. Hey y'all, it's Brian. And forgive me, I can't remember the name of this segment. I know there's so many, but I was on Reddit and feeling kind of horny, so I typed in Gone Wild, and I noticed that there was a subreddit called Gone Wilder, and I thought this sounds interesting. This sounds interesting.

So I clicked on it, clicked on the Not Safe for Work thing, and it is all just pictures and names of Gene Wilder. So that's it. Thank you. Yeah. And check out some of these dank memes. And that subreddit confused me because I like to crank it to clips from the Ryan Reynolds movie Van Wilder. Party liaison.

Wow. Here goes Gene Wilder in a bath. Am I going to get an email from Leo Post? Yeah, look out. You're going to get posted. Oh, no. I saw you looking at Don Wilder. Oh, you cunty pervert.

Cunty pervert. Looking at memes of Gene Wilder. Is it like if you get me to say that word, it's okay to then say it for the rest of the episode? I'm just checking because I'm not going to be caught in the British slash a woman trap again. There's no question. It's a, no question. It's dicey territory. Um, when we also have this other segment on the show, Sarah, um, I know you probably know about this, but of course we on Jordan, Jesse go are always coming up with new ideas for segments. We don't just do that same one momentous occasion segment that we

thought of 20 years ago. We also do lots of new segments. We just often, we do make so many that we forget which one we're doing or whatever. So we have people just call in and let us know at the top, what segment they're calling in for of the many that we've definitely thought of ourselves not just them calling in something funny they thought of and then putting a name on it afterwards um that's what's happening uh no it's just that we have a lot of great ideas it's not just people calling in with almost anything that they can think of and then saying it's for a segment called something or other. That's not what's happening. We're thinking of original ideas, copyright us, 2021.

Jordan, Jesse, go productions. In perpetuity. Norwalk, California. Could you explain the bit more, just a tiny bit more? Brian, you want to press play? Okay. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse.

Hey, soccer superstar Lionel Messi. This is Mike calling in from D.C. with a signature segment. For the signature segment, what was thrown at me today, my answer would be a bunch of Bibles. There was a protest in D.C. this morning. A bunch of truckers driving through D.C. with their big truck, honking their horns, running red lights, not letting pedestrians cross. So I was riding through the mall, and some pedestrians were trying to cross,

and the trucks wouldn't let them. So I got out there, blocked the trucks so the pedestrians could go. This guy lays into his horn on me because he didn't like me blocking him. And I point to the big Jesus mural behind him on his truck and said, you know, Jesus didn't say this. Jesus said, love all people or something like that. And his response was to throw a bunch of Bibles at me. I'm Jewish, so I threw them right back at him.

But again, I don't know what exactly Jesus said, but I don't think Jesus said block pedestrians in a crosswalk. So love you guys. Have a good one. Bye-bye. You know, again, when we listen to these calls, you know, one detail inevitably sticks out. Yeah.

And I think there's one here that is important. I mean, obviously, this is an insane situation. But I can't stop thinking about how he said it was a bunch of Bibles. it was a bunch of bibles who how into the bible do you have to be to where you travel with not just i mean i understand like oh the bible's important to me so i always have one you know while i'm traveling or in my luggage or you know in my big rig yeah how why do you have a bunch maybe is the different translations maybe different translations maybe you have a bunch? Maybe is the truck hauling Bibles? Maybe different translations. Maybe you got a new international in there.

The other ones. Maybe you got like a teen Bible for our new age. Good news. A raging 90s Bible. Yeah, I guess so. I guess maybe this guy's. A Gideon Bible. A Gutenberg Bible.

Flaming hot Bible by Cheetos. Yeah. Cashew nuts. Peanuts. I was going to do the peanuts bit from Best in Show. Harlan Pepper, you stopped naming nuts. Remember that? Thank you.

Thank you for helping me out there. You know, like when a ninja, like instead of just throwing one ninja star, like holds like a handful of ninja stars and is able to kind of like fling them out to hit multiple targets? Yeah. I mean, that's what happened with the Bible. With Bibles tend to be pretty unwieldy. Yeah. Like, it's not the first thing I would toss. If I was looking around my truck, it's not, and not just for thematic reasons, but just because it seems like there would be something easier to throw in there. Yeah, right?

Like Burger King coupons? Yeah, like Burger King coupons. Something you could really do some fucking damage with. How about some kids club toys? Whatever you got most recently from the burger king kids club like a fucking figurine of iq he's my jesus that's who i pray to sir i imagine you guys didn't have the burger king kids club over there right oh um i think we did actually i mean they might have been different i do remember and this the there was uh one of them was a wheelchair user and they were called wheels or tires yeah it

was that's all i remember of the burger king cakes i just think yeah was there more to them than that it wasn't just that presumably the most distinct thing about the Burger King I remember when they made the Burger King hot that was different wasn't it when the guy who

the guy who played the Burger King then they recast him as a sexy man that was weird oh maybe we didn't get that we still have the

we still have the like kind of upsetting you know kind of the masked head we still have the kind of upsetting mascot. We have not gotten the fuckable Burger King. Although, I mean, maybe you could argue that to some, the mascot is fuckable. Yeah.

Okay, I'm now Googling Burger King sexy man British and seeing what happens. Yeah. Leo Post just emailed me again. This is just clips of Willy Wonka. The Burger King Kids Club really is an example of what people thought diversity was in 1990. Sure. There's two girls out of six because there's the girl who likes sports, Boomer. Yeah.

Okay, Boomer. Okay, Kids Club. There's one disabled person there's one dog jaws has a jaws has a uh flat top you know they're actually they did i mean obviously like you know we kind of described this and it is a little bit like retrograde it is definitely from another time but um they are bringing them back and they do know they no longer have the wheelchair user, but in his place, Lady Pinhead. Oh.

Well, now they're double ruining my childhood, Jordan. Yeah. Yeah. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is going to punch it up as well. Yeah. That's who you're going to get. Yeah. That's who you're going to get.

She's going to punch up the kids club. Right. Just sort of bring a bit of kind of reality, a bit kind of you know not take it too seriously they're gonna break the fourth wall and talk to the camera about fries we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go hey there i'm ellen weatherford and i'm Christian Weatherford. And we've got big feelings about animals that we just got to share. On Just the Zoo of Us, your new favorite animal review podcast, we're here to critically evaluate how each animal excels and how it doesn't, rating them out of 10 on their effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics.

Guest experts give you their takes informed by actual real-life experiences studying and working with very cool animals like sharks, cheetahs, and sea turtles. It's a field trip to the zoo for your ears. So if you or your kids have ever wondered if a pigeon can count, why sloths move so slow, or how a spider sees the world, find out with us every Wednesday on Just the Zoo of Us, which can now be found in its natural habitat on MaximumFun.org. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. From the internationally acclaimed creators of Who Shot Ya? comes the movie podcast Maximum Film, starring producer and film festival programmer Drea Clark as a woman bound by passion. I saw this eight months ago on the festival circuit and I loved it.

Film critic Alonzo Duralde as a man corrupted by greed. Why watch one Hallmark Christmas movie when I can watch seven? And comedian Ify Wadiwe as a man protecting a love that society simply won't accept. I think Pacific Rim is a perfect movie. And if you can't accept that, then I want you out of my life! From the makers of the movie podcast Who Shot Ya? comes Maximum Film.

That's right. We changed the name of our show to Maximum Film. But don't worry. We're still a movie review show that isn't just a bunch of straight white dudes. So tune in to maximum film at maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse the juice man thorn jordan morris boy detective sarah morgan europe European eel smuggler.

It's been a joy to have you back on the program, Sarah, as it always is. Always a pleasure. Where can people hear you podcasting? Oh God. Yeah. I haven't done any episodes of my podcast for a long time because of everyone else doing their podcasts during lockdown. I thought I'd give everyone else a chance. Thank you for creating space for us. Yeah. I just thought I'd give everyone else a chance. Thank you for creating space for us. Yeah. I just, I just thought I'd make some room, um, for everyone else to get a podcast out. Um, I am going to, I'm doing some more. I'm recording some more. Um, I think I can say my, uh, next guest is going to be, uh, Nick Muhammad from the Ted Lasso program who, uh, so he's my, he's going to be my Halloween spooktacular guest. And there'll be

other horror people. Yes. I do a podcast called the fear. It's about, uh, funny people talking about what they're scared of. Um, uh, Jordan Morris has been a guest. I hope Jesse Thorne will be one day soon. Love to anytime. And I have nothing else to say on the subject. Well, you also have, you also have a smash hit book in stores right now. Yeah. I mean that, that book's fantastic. Um, yeah. Looks great. Smells great. Reads great. Um, I meant to say last time. That's your top three things. Yeah, exactly. I meant to say last time I was on there,

we really should say a big thank you to all the, the max fun people who wrote on the original podcast as well, because obviously we adapted their stuff as well. And I meant to shout out to them last time there was some uh jordan i'm sure you can uh mention some of the writers who worked on the show um yeah absolutely so because we didn't say thank you last time and i really meant to because obviously we were adapting adapting them for the book as well so yeah yeah let's let's definitely do that i should say say that we are talking about Bubble, the Max Fun scripted podcast that is now a graphic novel

that you can buy wherever you get your books. And yes, Sarah and I wrote the script for it, but it was based off a podcast that we both worked on, but also... Jordan created, I wrote an episode of, lots of other people contributed. We had Ryan Perez in there. We had a Janine Burrito

in there. A Jane Borden, Riley Silverman, Danielle Radford, John Gutierrez. Oh yeah, Nick Weiger, our buddy Nick Weiger from the Doughboys, punched up a couple of those scripts.

It was a totally awesome team of people. Dan Kennedy, how could we forget our buddy Dan Kennedy? DK all day. You know, I just went on Dan Kennedy's podcast, KPODD, with our friend Ben Harrison. I got to appear as they do a morning show from 1998, a morning radio show from 1998. And I got to be their television green grocer stopping by. Hey, there you go. I taught them what to do to fight scurvy.

They both have scurvy. It's a big problem for them. They're roommates in addition to being co-hosts. Yeah. And total like, yeah. Thanks to everybody who works on the podcast. Thanks to everybody who's gotten the book. And Sarah mentioned there was a nice little run of people tweeting photos of their pets reading the book.

More, please. More, more, more. More. Listen. Force your cat in front of a copy of Bubble and have them look a bit awkward. The cat will not like it. We will accept Kindle submissions or e-book submissions just as long as the cat looks upset about it. They're the

best ones. So yeah, obviously a lot of great dogs, a lot of great cats, a few great bunnies, but we got a chinch. We got a chinchilla. That's bingo. So yeah, definitely if you like the book, any social media

post you do want to do about it really helps if you want to review it on a popular site that accepts book reviews that's awesome but yeah oh and hey you know holidays coming up would make a great gift for the comic book lover in your

house they do not have to have heard the podcast but if they have they'll like it double. You know who the comic book lover in my house is, Jordan? Millionaire Bruce Wayne. Really? That guy? I don't know. He and I went to high school together and we got to talking. Yeah. Big comic book guy, huh? Yeah.

He's a rich guy. No, he's a big lover. Yeah. He's a rich guy, so he probably has a lot of like um like limited edition covers yeah like hologram covers a lot of hologram covers he's got like the watchman that they release like every five years like the ultimate watchman but like this one's got like six extra pages of some of that pirate shit in the middle. And I'd like. Yeah. Yeah.

Pirate parts. You know, the ultimate. What are the what's the pirate parts about edition? Is this a parody of something I'm not familiar with? Yes. Yeah, definitely. Every couple of years, there's like, hey, remember that edition of Watchmen you bought five years ago? Well, it's a piece of fucking shit. Yeah, alright

Weekender. Alan Moore really hates this version This is kind of cool, related to Bubble, because of Sarah and I's last name, we are often, Bubble is often next to Alan Moore books in a bookstore Yay! Wasn't that nice? Some people accidentally buying it

because they think it's a sequel to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Also because of my name being the same name as a popular romance author, I quite often get mail for her and she gets mail for me. Isn't that sweet? So she is quite annoyed that I went into book writing

because when I was just a tv writer it was fine and now on twitter i think she's slightly pissed off by the fact that i have an amazon clicky thing uh so thank you jordan for helping me annoy a very rich woman um who seems quite nice do you think there's people who bought the book thinking that it was from the other Sarah Morgan who are pissed that it's not hornier? Yeah. She writes very specific Christmas-themed romances. And I suppose there is a Christmas scene in Bubble, but it comes right to the end. It's not really a Christmas themed novel. Have you guys seen just on the subject of, I look, we're ending the show,

but have you guys seen on the subject of rich romance authors? Have you seen a picture of Danielle Steele's desk? The eighth time we've talked about Danielle Steele's desk on the podcast. I think I post it like, I think I always have it ready to go when there's a lull on the internet.

Like, it's the best. Just the greatest. It's the pile of Danielle Steele books. The only topic we've covered more than the female gremlin. Yeah. Sarah Morgan has been our guest. Her podcast is called The Fear. The book is called Bubble.

You can catch her writing for television and radio programs in the United Kingdom most particularly. Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez, Valerie Moffitt on the stream. You can find us on Reddit, maximumfun.reddit.com, hashtag at JJGo on Twitter. You can find Jordan and me on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne. We are on Instagram as well. I'm at put.this.on. Jordan is at Jordan D. Morris, right? Jordan David Morris. Jordan David Morris.

Bad handle. I should change it. And that's all right. You're doing your best. What are you going to change it to? Jordan is in comedy or something? Real comedy Jordan. At real, Jordan.

Real comedy, Jordan. Monster Mash 69. Oh, so is my Halloween name now going to be Monster Mash 69 or something else? Oh boy. I like actually it's Sarah Morgan's monster. Okay, cool. Thank you.

You know, if we're going to go with something we brainstormed here. Yeah. Great. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. something we brainstormed here yeah okay we'll talk to you next time on jordan jessica maximumfund.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported