Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 710: Gumping with Danielle Radford

Episode Date: October 29, 2021

Danielle Radford (Tights and Fights pod, many other things!) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of food with the narrowest gap between the best and worst version, what makes a Seattle hot dog really soar, and the key to comedy stunt casting voice over.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jessigo, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'll tell you what I've been thinking about Jordan. Do I want to know? Do I want to know? Is this going to be so twisted that I'm like, okay, TMI. Is that how I'm going to be when you tell me what you've been thinking?

Jordan, you know that when I'm left to myself, I start having thoughts that are, well, gosh, there's only one way to describe them. Twisted. Jeez. describe them twisted jeez not since not since jamie kennedy unleashed his experiment upon the world has such a twisted mind brought us so much randomness jordan i take twisted randomness to the extreme. Man, I can't believe how random this is going to be. I'm bracing myself. I'm just going to go ahead and say it now. Yeah. Whatever, dude.

There, I've said it. I've said my piece, so now you can say your thing, and then, Brian, you can just edit that, me saying, whatever, dude, and you can just put it behind that. Jordan, I'm going to just... Not to create work for you, but... I'm just going to lay down a react for Brian to use, just in case his mic's not working. Yeah.

Okay. So that's... Brian, use that for you. If your mic's not working, use that for your reaction to what i'm about to talk about so brian actually brian can i give you some options yeah okay so that happened okay that's a good one uh check please just jordan if it helps just know that what I'm going to say is totally random. Okay, here, I'm going to do one more. One more.

Oh, come on! Okay, I think you can use the second one. I don't know, I've just been thinking about hot dogs. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's it. I mean, I was just thinking a lot about hot dogs. H-Doggers? Yeah.

Jesse? That's another thing to call them. That's what Jamie Kennedy would probably call him if he were here right now. Jesse, I know I was theorizing about how random that was going to be, but I had no idea, dude, how just out of left field you were going to come with that. Hot dogs? Okay. Okay. Okay. you were gonna come with that hot dogs okay okay what are we talking about here relish come on so you've been you've been thinking about dogs have you been making dogs at home have you been

grilling there's always dogs going here at my house um but the reason I was thinking about dogs is I went to the world famous Dodger Stadium the other night. Yes. And, uh, while I was there, I bought something that they sell at Dodger Stadium, which is a helmet full of French fries dressed in the manner of nachos. So like a, like a fry show? Yeah. Like a, like a fry show.? Yeah, like a fry-cho.

Exactly. But in a helmet. Right. So your head is protected afterwards. Not from cheese sauce. Your head is subjected to cheese sauce, but protected from projectiles. And yeah, and I think, you know,

this has come up on the show before, but, you know, my baseball attendance is, you know, maybe once a year uh i'll go to a game and i am always surprised at how far away from ice cream sundae they've branched out vis-a-vis what will be served in a helmet yeah they really it's you're in a sea of helmets yeah at any given time as you sit in the stands because of the sheer volume of foods that are served in helmets so i got this nacho like thing made with french fries right served in a helmet with carne asada on top and i paid for this jordan 16 dollars

and that's not look some people are going to think that's a flex. The reality is this was playoff baseball, Jordan. Sure. It's not about the money. It's about the passion. Yeah. Okay. So I'm there.

I pay my $16. I get this helmet full of French fry nachos. And I'm eating it. And you know what I thought to myself while i was eating it this sucks i should have just got a hot dog yeah i should have just got a fucking hot dog i i i overthought it right i'm at the fucking baseball game just eat a fucking hot dog don't try and get some fucking helmet full of french fries that they turn into nachos. Of course it sucked. They don't know how to make French fries.

They don't know how to turn them into nachos. Boy, yeah. I mean, I think we are really living in a golden age. And when it comes to French fries, a golden brown age. Thank you. Wait a minute. Do you think that was a little random? That was a little bit random.

You're rubbing off on me. You're rubbing off on me. You're rubbing off on me, JK. I call you Jamie Kennedy now. Wait a minute. Rubbing off on you? Twisted. Dude, that is not what I meant. No homo.

Okay. So, yeah, we are really living in a golden age of like crazy ass. Jordan, I would probably rub one off on you if that's what you wanted. Because I love you. We've been friends for a long time. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. You're welcome.

It's nice to know. I'd have to run it by my wife. I'm going to bank that. If you could write that on a little coupon and give it to me for my birthday. You know what? I already wrote it down on a piece of paper and mailed it to myself so i could register it with the wga yeah that's good that's a good tip you can do it through the website if you want oh great save yourself a stamp um we are living in a golden age of like crazy food thing

that looks cool on instagram but in reality sucks because it just has too much stuff on it. And the stuff is not of a high quality. And I feel that. And I feel like, you know, and we've talked about my Instagram algorithm before on the show. And it is mainly shit like that. It gets me, you know. It just fucking gets me. It's in my head.

It gets me. And, yeah. fucking gets me it's in my head it gets me and yeah and i am sometimes tempted to like drive to gardenia to get a like tater tot filled chorizo burrito that is also deep fried and on a stick yeah but i just have to tell myself, I know this looks good. It is probably not actually good. Let's introduce our guest because I want to fold her into this conversation. Just as one might fold tater tots

into a chorizo burrito before impaling it upon a stick and deep frying it. She is a comic. She's a comedy writer writer she's one of the co-hosts of the tights and fights podcast she's a great pal of ours daniel radford hi danielle hi thank you so i have been taking notes and i have a lot of things to say about the things that you have said this is why you book radford this is why you book radford okay go go go let's hear it first as far as drops go can i offer a or oh my god or oh girl nah or a snap snap snap okay thank you danielle as far as dodgers things go yeah you can actually order a bunch of those over uh over

uber uh and they are really terrible never order a Dodger job over Uber but I definitely have a Dodger helmet and also if you order Dodger popcorn they just send you a like plastic bucket and give you microwave popcorn it's very upsetting also I will not

participate in Jamie Kennedy slander I don't know him let's keep going. Safeco is the best stadium in the world. And if you wanted to order something weird at Safeco, I promise you it would be the best weird thing that you have ever had. Um, I think that two dudes rubbing off each other on birthdays is just the way that you celebrate birthdays. Um, and I think that that's how we should do it forever and forever more.

And Instagram food is fine. Just don't get anything with charcoal because it makes your tummy hurt. And now we're caught up. Hi, hello. Hi, Danielle. Great to have you here. We did it.

We did it. We sure did. Also, I have a burp in here somewhere and it's going to come out during the podcast and I can't help it. Oh, no, no, no. I can't make it happen. It's just going to happen. it's going to come out during the podcast. I can't help it. Oh, no, no. I can't make it happen. It's just going to happen.

It's going to be gross and disgusting, but it is in there. I'll try and get one brewing too. Here, I'll take a sip of my drink and maybe after you do yours, I'll follow up. Oh, I won't have a choice to when I do mine. It'll just happen. It's like Christmas. If you keep waiting. No, no, no.

If you keep waiting for Santa Claus to show up, he's never going to show. Or like waiting for water to boil. But if you go to sleep and you wake up a very special boy, I'm going to burp really loud. By the way, on Jordan's last birthday, I woke up a very special boy. So this is what I was thinking. I went to two games, two consecutive days at Dodger Stadium. And the second day, I just went to the Dodger Dog Express booth. I didn't try and get fancy.

My son, Oscar, was there with me. He wanted to eat hot dogs. I said, great, let's eat some hot dogs. I got a super Dodger dog. He got a standard Dodger dog. What's the difference? One's larger okay but the bun is the same size i don't know man y'all the whole thing it's one of those they're confusing

and scary and i don't like it it's one of those upsells that you're like look i need the extra dog so i'm gonna pay the extra four dollars but I don't like that I have to pay $4 for this extra bit of dog. So as I ate the hot dog, this is what I thought to myself. They recently changed the provider of Dodger dogs, the famous dogs of Dodger Stadium. This season, there's a new company making Dodger dogs. Dodger dogs, of course, are exactly the same. The reason being that all hot dogs are the same.

Can't even really tell the difference between a beef hot dog and a pork hot dog. Danielle, you have a counterpoint. Absolutely untrue. Okay. We'll talk about this after Jesse tells his story. And again, and I'm glad to know that you are taking notes so we can circle back.

Oh no, I'm taking a lot of notes. Well, do you mind giving me the notes after class? Oh, I spaced. So what I thought as I ate this hot dog, which, by the way, at Dodger Stadium right now, because of COVID regulations, all you can get is ketchup and mustard. There's no other choices because anything that comes... Can't crank the old onion crank. Exactly. Anything that comes in a trough or out of a tube, you can't have.

You can only get little packets of ketchup and mustard for whatever health reasons. And so I'm just eating a pot dog with some mustard on it is what i was eating in chicago they would say that's the only way that you should eat one but they're wrong their whole thing is about what about the sport peppers what about sport peppers they don't actually do that like everyone says that's a chicago don they don't actually do that they just eat hot dogs with mustard it's fine I was eating this hot dog thinking to myself that I couldn't tell the difference between this and the original Dodger dog that I'd eaten a year previously at Dodger Stadium. And this is the thought that I had to myself. A hot dog is not a great food. A hot dog peaks, for me, at around 7 out of 10.

That's the best hot dog I've ever eaten in my life was what you might call good. Okay? Now, the worst hot dog I've ever eaten in my life is maybe a six out of ten. Sure. That is what I would call pretty good. So the range goes from pretty good to good. Yeah. You know what you're getting.

It's like an episode of the Jamie Kennedy experiment. I don't know that man. I can't comment. I feel terrible for him. Jordan worked with Jamie on the sitcom Friends World. Oh, yeah. Is that the name of the show? Sure.

Living with Fran, my first PA job. Thank you. Jamie Kennedy, inexplicably a producer, and I would sometimes pick him up in a little golf cart. Yeah. Producer is just another word for we don't know what to pay you yeah uh the the thought that i wondered as i was eating that hot dog is there any food with so high a floor and modest a ceiling as a hot dog does any other food exist in such a narrow band because i thought to myself pizza right yeah i was thinking that i was thinking that i was thinking but think through pizza because pizza is and i don't think anyone present or anyone listening would dispute pizza is the world's greatest food it's an extraordinary food

an incredible invention well wait we're also discounting obviously this is like a general world's greatest food so we have to discount anything that your omas or opas or anything that like any anything your family made like your mom mom's chicken soup. Like we're discounting all of that. And we're saying- Meemaw's jambalaya. Yes. So we're saying out of any food, out of all the foods,

pizza's the greatest? I don't know. It's, I mean, it has to be in the conversation, I think. It's in the conversation. Yeah.

So look, I'm not here to, look, we're not putting together an NCAA bracket for greatest food, which pizza would obviously win. Maybe. Because we would be the first podcast to ever do a bracket. Yeah. No one's ever talked about which garbage food is the best food before. No, this is all brand new ground. No one's ever done that. To be fair,

Jordan, we did do a bracket on our podcast in 2006. I'm sure we did. So anyway. We're breaking new ground. We're like, we're fucking, we're the stooges, man. It all starts here. Anyway. So let's take the example. Take the example of pizza. of pizza yeah pizza is if not the single greatest food of all time certainly in the pantheon of the greatest fruits of all time but you bring me pizza from an indifferent pizza chain right or a low quality pizza chain, you bring me a, I mean, everyone has their own feelings about what chain is what. But for me, if I am served Little Caesar's pizza,

I will take it, I will bite it, and I will give it a three. It is not the worst food I've ever eaten, but I'm not happy to be eating it. If I'm hungry, I'll eat it because it's there. I'm at some kind of meeting for a club in the law school my wife went to. It's the primary context in which, or let's say I'm at the community center. I'm 12. I'm at the community center for a day camp. Are you trying to save it through dance? Yes, you're planning the break dance competition.

Yes. So, you know, I eat it and I wash it down with some bug juice, okay? And I give it a three. Or maybe it's just, you know, you're in Maine, you're in rural Maine, and there's a pizzeria, and it's just the only pizzeria within 40 minutes drive. And so they don't have to be good. So it's terrible. And it's a three or a four.

Okay. The best pizza you have ever ate? No doubt about it. That's a 10. Sure. Pizza is the narrowest other band I can think of. Think of how bad a bad cheeseburger is. It sucks.

Boy, I'm, you know, I'll maybe have that. I'm, to me, yeah, I'll maybe have that bad cheeseburger and be kind of okay with it in the same way that you would be okay with a bad hot dog. Yeah, like I would definitely have bad fries in the way that you would have that. Yeah. Maybe fries is it. Maybe it is fried.

Maybe like, but I mean, I guess you can't have fucking bomb ass. Awesome fries though. At worst. They're like weird kind of soggy potatoes or they're like, you know, so burnt that they're just chips.

And chips are dope. I guess even with fries. I don't mind a burnt fry. Even with fries, if they're bad, I still want between eight and ten. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So the fries that I ate at the ball game.

Yeah. I would describe them as having the taste of if you took a russet potato and chopped it into a fat fry shape and boiled it insufficiently. Right. Not so insufficiently that it's inedible, but enough to where it has a certain toothsome quality that you're not looking for in a French fry. You know what? I think I got it you know what i think i got it jesse

okay i think i got it turkey sandwich turkey sandwich huh oh i guess i've had a turkey sandwich that i'm like that's really good but maybe you cannot fuck it up to being inedible maybe that's a smaller gap to me than hot dog. To me, honestly, if I'm at the community center... About to break dance for your life. The wrecking balls are pulling up. I don't know what the cooking

was like at your community centers, Danielle and Jordan, but at the upper Noe playground or at the St. Mary's Recreation Center, the top two community centers in my childhood, there was not a lot of chefs on staff. But food was served. Okay. you're in the summer program if you're there for a day-long basketball camp whatever food will be served to you because you are provided food because you are poor so they give you food

but there's no one there to prepare the food in that, a turkey sandwich is some white bread that is a little weird. It's either like not quite all the way unfrozen or a little stale, something along those lines. Sure. Some mayonnaise. Oh, fancy boy. I know, right? oh and fancy boy i know right and some slices of uh safeway brand turkey that to me is a little clammy and a little gross i would still eat the shit out of that at that at that event if there's hot dogs even if they're just being pulled out of a vat of boiling water. They're not being grilled.

Right. Just being pulled out of a vat of boiling water, put into a generic hot dog bun, and there's ketchup and mustard in little packets. I'm choosing the hot dog every single time. Look, I will say this. Okay, hold on. I thought we were talking about size of gap. But that's the thing. What do you prefer? Yes, hot dogs are better than turkey sandwiches i'm right i thought the exercise was something with a similar gap i'm talking about

gap on the side of of fine i'm talking about fineness because the gap between that hot dog that I get at the rec center and if I go to some fancy hot dog store where they put kimchi on it or whatever is a gap of one out of ten. One and a half out of ten. It's still basically just a crunchy salt. I have had the worst hot dog I ever had when I ordered, I'm telling you, when I ordered a Dodger dog from a food app

and they brought it to me and I don't know who was making this. I don't know who was making this. I don't think it came all the way from Dodger Stadium. I think that there was

like an auxiliary location. It was the worst hot dog I have ever had to the point where I was like, I will microwave a hot dog and put it inside of a sad, lonely piece of regular white bread and fold it up the way that we did after school when we were all children. It was like super garbage. It's like super garbage. Okay.

So, Danielle, there's two stress tests for my theory. One is the sort of subset of the theory that suggests all hot dogs are pretty good, no matter how they're styled. You know, Chicago dog with celery salt and sport peppers and whatever, whatever, whatever. Or, well... Seattle dog? Seattle dog. L.A. dog. Okay, so there's two stress tests. Seattle dog.

Thank you, Danielle. Actually, I don't know. Can you explain this? I don't know what the Seattle dog is. Can you explain it? A Seattle dog. So this is one of the, Danielle, this is one of the stress tests. So let me set Danielle up here, Jordan.

This is one of the stress tests. So let me set Danielle up here, Jordan. This theory is a pretty strong theory because you can put grilled onions on a hot dog. You can put relish on a hot dog. You can put ketchup on a hot dog or not put ketchup on a hot dog. It's still a hot dog. It's still pretty good. It's all about the same. But the city of Seattle has created a hot dog that tests that theory it is a

it will see how far that theory bends before it breaks danielle what is a seattle hot dog oh my god sir this this is testing our friendship this is on the left this is above the level of jamie slander so apparently everybody's a huge jamie kennedy fan all of a sudden a seattle dog is when you go because they have a we have a lot of vendors in seattle that that do street vending for for hot dogs so you get a beautiful plump polish dog split it down the middle and you grill it until it is just fine and gorgeous and then you take a bun that has also been grilled and you plop that motherfucker on top of it and then you put a bunch of caramelized onions on top and then and here's where people are gonna say that i'm crazy

but i'm not crazy i have wild eyes right now but i'm not crazy. I have wild eyes right now, but I'm not crazy. She does. We can confirm. We're looking at the Zoom and Danielle's eyes have grown wild. Wild. It's like Dr. John 5'6 of the way through a show at Monterey Pop or something. I just, you don't understand. I'm in like full, full wonky mode.

You're someone in a spielberg movie seeing something off camera for the first time there it is um i'm fully doc browning right now it's fine you docking bro i'm docking bro marty um you take some goddamn cream cheese. Okay. And you put it on top of that goddamn dog and then some mustard and then you eat it. It's the best thing you've ever had in your life. I have not heard of this. That is a sea otter. Here is my experience with that sort of thing.

And by that sort of thing, I mean cream cheese where cream cheese is not usually appearing. Thank you. Because I expected you to say cream cheese where cream cheese doesn't belong, and we were going to have a whole fight. No, no. Here's – so my – listen, I have my logic brain and my lizard brain. And my lizard brain went, ew. But my logic brain says, hey, Jordan, you know when they slip cream cheese and shit and it's not usually in there they're doing it for a reason just take the bite

so yes I think I would have a an immediate I would be on my heels but I would want to take a bite and maybe my guess is that the bite would be good it would be amazing.

It would be like, I'm not going to go ahead. I'm not going to say it's the best hot dog you've ever had. We all have our Picadillos, but it is probably the best hot dog you've ever had. Especially like, imagine it's two in the morning. You're stumbling out of somewhere.

That's what I was going to ask. Context. What's, where's the ideal time to get this cream cheese hot dog oh absolutely at two in the morning when bars have shut down sure wait what what what do you think she's gonna say jordan oh this is a this is a breakfast dog at a at a ball i don't know at that a ball game You're working the morning shift at the plant. It's 4 a.m. Okay.

You're wiping the sleep out of your eyes and stumbling down the street in your heavy work boots. But this begs the question. And there it is, the cream cheese dog. What is a breakfast dog? So, okay, wait. Hold on before we get to the breakfast. What is a breakfast dog, Danielle? Because we absolutely need to get into that.

You can cut up a dog and put it into a scramble. The stress test that is the Seattle dog, the question of, is a hot dog pretty good, even if you do something as fucking insane as putting cream cheese and mustard on it? How fucking dare you? The hot dog passes the stress test a seattle dog i've eaten it it's pretty good you're wrapping and baking put cream cheese on it put find out

what sport peppers are acquire them put them on there all these things leave a hot dog pretty good that's what's so extraordinary about a hot dog it is imagine putting cream cheese and mustard on your precious turkey sandwich and having i do that be pretty good i don't know all of a sudden i'm turkey sandwich guy i was just trying to fucking do the podcast jesus christ i do look at your fucking t-shirt it says turkey sandwich on it just a brown shirt man you went to just jordan you went to a fucking t-shirt shop and ordered a custom those letters are flocked jordan can i tell you yeah here's the thing here's the worst thing that you're ever gonna think that i've done and it is delicious and you're gonna try it and you're

gonna love it take a goddamn bagel. You toast that bagel. You put cream cheese on that bagel. You put some turkey. You put some mustard. You cut it in half. That's a turkey fucking sandwich, my friends, and it is goddamn delectable. All right.

I'm in on that. Hold on. Hold on. Wait. Are we somewhere? Are we? Is the other answer to this conundrum of the food that oscillates from pretty good to good, is it bagel?

Can you have a bagel that just destroys you that it's so good? If you mix pizza and a bagel, you can have a bagel any time. Have you ever had a bagel. Yeah, I know, New York. New York, the water. You can have a bagel any time. Yeah. Have you ever had a bagel, Jordan, at the breakfast buffet of a business hotel

in a non-bagel area? Yeah. Because that is a pretty brutal food. It's that Safeway bin bagel. If you toast it and put butter on it, it'll get you through a and put butter on it. It'll get you through a day. I think it'll be

okay, right? In the same way that that bad hot dog is okay. Anyway. And I know, like an awesome bagel is awesome. An awesome bagel is awesome. Yeah. I mean, there's a... I'm not... I see where you're driving the boat.

Can you do that much too? Because you can, again, you can make a pizza bagel, which I have done. Yeah. Pizza's not a bagel. You can have pizza anytime. Anytime. You can do so many things to that. Getting ready for the morning shift at the plant.

The whistle's blowing. You're punching your time card. the whistle's blowing you're punching your punching your time card um danielle you were saying that there is some crazy stadium food that you think is pretty good actually though right oh well seattle has like we so we fully embraced and some of it is maybe a little racist um but when we got ichiro we were full in and our sister um baseball city is a city in japan and so we have the ichiro which is a sushi place which is in and now that i say it it sounds terrible so the mariners have the best stadium food per worst baseball team i would say ratio in history wow our stadium food is barna and our team i guess we're doing well now i don't know but our team was like not great um usually we have like people who are great then they get snatched by the yankees then we never

see them again and uh yeah our stadium food is like really good uh our hot dogs are good we have like these amazing actual like sit-down restaurants where it's like our fries are uh at default these fries that are served with sauteed not garlic powder sauteed caramelized garlic inside the fries like that's like a whole thing yeah our food's pretty good yeah that sounds all right to me i'd go to safeco field right now you guys want to go to safeco field for dinner i've been there i've been there this whole time man we're on zoom i could be anywhere man holy shit so you just you just bring a green screen and a digital file of that ed russia print that's on your wall yeah but you don't know, man. I could be anywhere. I could be in your fucking basement, man.

Calls from coming from inside the house, bro. Dude, my house doesn't have a basement. Oh, it's like reading Rainbow. Jordan can be anywhere. That song was originally about me. Yes. I would love to switch topics to talk talk about danielle's fucking homemade cat it's not it's a tower yes but um i'll go ahead and call it a palace because now jordan are we

sure this is we see this behind danielle looking at danielle on her zoom we see behind her a truly grand edifice yes of the cat variety but it's possible that she's in our basement with a green screen and this is just some digital file i'll get up and stand next to it i'm five foot nine that baby is six foot one oh i i i did i will say like i don't want to say that it's not homemade in the sense that I discovered I was the first person to ever make a cat tower, but I bought a very large one, and I put it together myself with my own stupid hands. Yes.

Wow. That's extraordinary. So I've never had a cat. What is a cat tower? What is cat furniture for? I feel like I go to a cat person's house and there's cat furniture. What is its role in the cat's life? In my experience, you make cat furniture because you want to make them love you.

Yes. Because it's the only way to make them like you. Do they like you when you do it? Do they like the cat furniture? There's a secondary question. It took a year, but I think they like me now. Yeah, you have like kind of sort of new cats, right? Like newish cats.

New to me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They've been whole individuals without me so i don't want to claim that they didn't come it's like it's like they adopted me yeah wow who adopted who they adopted me they rescued me yeah i i have gotten i have not i have not gotten my cat a tower of that magnitude. Would she love me more if I would? Yes.

Perhaps. But honestly, I don't need any more love. We're all full up here. Oh. Okay. Well, first of all, fuck you. I just have so much love. I can't love me. It took no effort.

Y'all can't see me. I'm making sarcastic air quotes. Y'all, my cats love me. Oh, it took no effort. Okay, well, great. My weirdo adopted feral rescues. Stop looking at me. Mommy's at work.

I'm sorry. They literally literally they get so weird when i'm talking to the people in the screen they don't know how to handle it and they do not like it um but yeah like they uh it took me a second because they're like bonded weird feral ginger nightmares yeah um and so for a while only one of them would come up to me and like snuggle up on me and try to get a lot of attention while i'm here which will probably happen while we're doing this and uh so that's ripley and then hudson would just like get off my bed and stare at me as i slept yeah and then one day about a month and a half ago i i don't know what i did but i touched hudson in such a way where he goes oh oh and he like got what petting was all about and now like he will i

will straight up wake up with him on my chest staring at me like why aren't you touching me mother wow it's like that time you know It's like when you hear Radiohead, and you're like, what's this? This is just kind of like some noise, and then you're like, oh, I fucking get it now. Yeah. I get it. Or like when you're in college,

and you have a girlfriend that knows about prostates. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sure. Wow. Except in this case, it's like literally a cat learning that he really likes being touched right in between his ears. That's really beautiful.

I feel like we just had an audio version of one of those Dodo videos. Also, I just learned a lot about Jesse and I feel really close to you right now. Not like prostate close, but like close. Yeah. Maybe taint clothes sure taint nothing taint for nothing that's for sure taint danielle taint that's really beautiful yeah i've not gotten i've not gotten my cat any like i've gotten her like smaller scratchers, which she doesn't really care about. I think she just wants to destroy a couch. Something about it being a couch makes it more appealing. And Jordan,

my mom used to get me smaller scratchers every year for my birthday. Yeah. And your Christmas. Dad at the liquor store. Now she gets me mega millions. Oh, my uncle gets me $1 scratches for my birthday and is like, if you win, you have to share the profits with me.

That's bullshit. That's total bullshit, by the way. So yeah, but I just found, I got a new couch not too long ago and did not want her to ruin it. And I found a really great tape that, it looks a little bit bad. I will be perfectly honest. The tape looks kind of bad on the couch.

You can kind of see it. It could be that I'm being self-conscious. But the tape looks a little bad, but she does not destroy the couch. Yeah, that's what that's for. Because they were destroying my couch. So that's why you get. And they were destroying my couch so that's why i get and then i would again like they didn't like me at all they used to hide underneath the couch and then when i would leave they would like scamper so i had total step mommy syndrome where

i was like you like me do you want to like me i built you this tower you can have ice cream for dinner yeah we'll have hot dogs every day. All hot dogs. They have a very small margin of mediocrity. I made you a scramble. Even if I fuck them up, they'll still be pretty good. So yeah, that is my... But yeah, she's not interested in smaller scratchers.

So I guess I wonder if I did go full cat tower, is it just that these scratchers I'm buying her are not big enough? Do you get what I'm saying? Well, each of them has a scratcher on it. Each level in the tower has a scratcher on it, so they have little opportunities to scratch. What is the evolutionary... Why do cats scratch sof scratch. What is the evolutionary?

Why do cats scratch sofas? What is that about? Is there a theory? I think the theory is that cats ain't shit. And I think that's why they scratch at stuff. Because like they ain't shit. They don't care about your shit. And so they're just like, I own this now it's mine it's sort of a fuck all y'all yeah it's definitely a

fuck all y'all situation it's like how a cat backs away while giving the double burn if you've ever seen the movie Cats, and you all should, there is a moment where Dame Judi Dench, the Dame Judi Dench, turns the camera and says, in case you don't know, a cat isn't a dog and it will blow your fucking mind. She does look directly into the camera when she says it. It's very weird. I mean, really. No, it's super hot. Everyone. No, it's super hot. Everyone. Well, she's super hot. Like, what are you going to do?

I slid off my chair. Like, there's nothing to be done. Everyone involved in Cats was so committed. The commitment in Cats is really miraculous. The people are professionals. These are professionals, Jordan. These people care. Yeah. You think, do you really

think James Corden is bringing a C game to the film of Cats? No fucking way. No way. This guy's taking home run cuts all night long. Sure. Or cricket run cuts. Maybe he phones it in during Machine Gun Kelly's carpool karaoke,

but not Cats. Yeah. I feel bad for the- He's mad that he didn't bring the lady from Transformers. Megan Fox. Megan Fox. Megan Fox, thanks. He's James Corden's dad. Jesse, do me a favor.

Machine Gun Kelly didn't bring Megan Fox. Jesse, you're not going to get this, but it's going to be really funny for me to do. I'm going to say, you smell like hot dogs. And I need you to say, I am hot dogs. Are you ready? Are you ready? One, two, three.

You smell like hot dogs. I am hot dogs. Yes! Danielle, can I ask a question? Yes. What's that? Danielle can I ask a question yes what's that um

Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are like a weird couple and I guess like she when they first met she went up to him and said you smell like weed and he goes he looks at her dead in her Megan Fox gorgeous eyes and says I am weed no way yes fucking way

uh oh god I want that. Why can't I have that? Why did they... I want that. I know. Don't we all? I just want to be friends with Bumblebee. Yeah.

Movie Bumblebee. Bumblebee, okay. Bumblebee is a really good movie. I feel weird because no one else likes it because it's part of the transformers thing and like i get it i get it all those movies were good but but a lot of people i think everyone liked bumblebee right i've been trying to convince my kids to watch bumblebee with me because everybody liked bumble you know when you have children they only want to watch you know wonder woman 2 or

whatever they never want to watch the one that doesn't suck. No. Oh, yeah. And I heard Bumblebee is pretty good. I'd love to watch it. I'm so desperate to watch two and a half stars and above. Like your kids just want to watch Batman and Robin. Yes.

I mean, to be fair, I only want to watch Batman and Robin. You know, there's some Schumacher heads out there. There's some release the Schumacher cut people. Let me just say, if my kids want to watch Batman and Robin, it's fine. But we're waiting until Uncle Glenn Weldon is visiting. Okay. When Uncle Glenn's in town, we can all watch Batman and Robin.

And he can teach them about gay Batman stuff. Yeah. Have they seen like an Adventure Time or like a Steven Universe or like a... Yeah. So they do. There's a few things that they do love. They love Steven Universe and Steven Universe really is a wonderful, beautiful

show. It's a really lovely show. Adventure Time connected with them a little less, but I like it. But no, I i mean they want to watch a lego whatever show and here's the thing about lego whatever show all of the lego whatever shows have better jokes in them than they need to have every single one of these lego shows where it's lego superheroes lego Wars, whatever, whatever, whatever. All of these have much better jokes than they need to. There'll be a couple jokes in an episode that are actual, just on their own merit, good jokes.

The problem is that in the movies, they get Michael Cero or whatever to be in it, right? Michael Cero slander. No, this is not slander. I love Michael Cero. The point is michael sarah is gonna nail the joke you know what i mean you're not you never you never for a moment have to worry about whether galifianakis is gonna get the game right of course he is he's fucking zach alfnack he's a fucking genius the people on the lego shows some of them get it right you know what i think it is more of

what i would guess what's that yeah i think it is more of the lego people doing the voiceover do it twice and they have to do 50 fucking episodes because kids tv is so gosh damn darn i believe that i think that's true i believe that a thousand percent having seen because like in general i think when you have a show when you have a tv show where that has um like stunt casted comedy people and then professional voiceover people um tress mcneil for example the professional voiceover people kick the fucking asses of the stunt casted comedy people down the street and i think that the reason those stunt casted movies turn out so good is because they have zillions more dollars than kids TV

and you can like- Do a million tanks, yeah. Pay Tom Hanks to come in for a couple days and then piece together his performance via microseconds. I've done VO where it's like literally like, I know what they want is I just say the line three different times in a row and then move on to the next time and say it three different times in a row and then move on to the next time

and say it three different times in a row. But I will say with that in mind, watch the missiles versus the machines. It's so good. Yeah. Oh, that is very funny. That's really good. I really like that movie.

So we, years ago at MaxLunCon, Lee Unkrich spoke, and he directed Toy Story 3. And he showed this clip that I will never stop thinking about. We weren't allowed to put it on the internet because he only is allowed to show it like privately. But it was a clip of a scene from Toy Story 3 that was Tim Allen and Tom Hanks talking. Tom Hanks talking. And then he showed the same thing, but with a picture in picture of Tim Allen and Tom Hanks in the voiceover booth. And that voiceover booth footage was synced with the edits that went into the actual movie, and you saw that there were multiple in-word edits

in single sentences. Like a single sentence would have multiple takes in a single word. But here's what I would say to your point. I believe you're absolutely correct, Jordan. I believe these voiceover actors are professionals. These people know what they're doing. We saw when Mark Gagliardi came in to do Bubble

and just sat down and did 7,000 voices for each character in a row, every one more perfect than the last. These people are professionals. You know who else did that? Fucking Daniel Radford. Daniel Radford plays like 10 different people in Bubble. It was nice and it was cool,

but also like it reminds me of and thank you um it reminds me very much of uh there was a like a behind the music or something where uh some kind of MTV thing where they were showing Christina Aguilera doing different takes and a producer being like we're gonna take that run and mix it with that next stanza. And she was like, Oh no, now we're showing off like the whole game. It's like,

yeah, like literally everyone is doing that where they're like, we're they're gumping together. Like this run was perfect. And this take of that next line is perfect. So we're just going to put them together. And then is gumping. Is that a music production term? Meaning you take one word from something and then is gumping is that a music production term meaning you take one

word from something and then you take a sofa um it's when all of a sudden you're running and you get to meet the president in the 60s is what we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Now, if you're talking about who supports this show, well, it's the members of maximum fun first and foremost so our thanks to that is sure every single one of those members everybody

carrying one of those little cards virtual or otherwise uh we're also supported this week by our friends at zip recruiter look jordan yes i'm a small business a little something called maximumfund.orgard of it. You know what's hard? Finding the right candidates for jobs. That's what's hard, Jordan. Boy, I bet that is tough. I'm exhausted just listening to you say the problem. That's why I got to go with the crude, baby.

ZipRecruiter isn't just some website that you throw your job opening up onto and then 20,000 people email you. What do they do? Among other things, ZipRecruiter will help you choose an ideal candidate and then invite them to apply for your job. For example, Jordan. Yes. Let's say you were hiring for co-hosts on Jordan, Jesse, go. Right? You could look at all of the options. you were hiring for co-hosts on Jordan Jesse Go. Right.

You could look at all of the options. Personnel changes I should know about coming up. And you could pick somebody who was talented instead of me. Like Gregory Hines? Yes, that's perfect. Invite him to apply. God, I'd love to get a hoofer on here.

I'll see if Gregory Hines is on ZipRecruiter. Look, Gregory Hines is dead, but that doesn't mean you can't use ZipRecruiter to invite Savion Glover to apply. Sure. Here's what you're going to want to do. You're going to want to go to ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo and you can try all this for free. It gives you, as the hiring manager, the power to pick your favorites from top candidates. See for yourself. Just go to this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com slash JJGO, to try ZipRecruiter for free. That's ziprecruiter.com slash JJ Go. ZipRecruiter,

the smartest way to hire. We're also supported this week by our friends at Magic Spoon, which my youngest child calls Magic Poon. This is a breakfast cereal that is made without grain, Jordan. Now look, a lot of people say to me, Jesse, what is this made

out of? I don't know. I don't care. It's tasty. It's gorgeous. And it's pretty nutritious. Yeah, so you just shove it in your mouth. Sight unseen. Yeah, quit complaining.

13 to 14 grams of protein, only four net grams of carbs in each serving. Gluten-free, soy-free. This stuff is gorgeous. I eat Magic Spoon almost every day for breakfast. I love this stuff. Peanut butter flavor. It's super tasty. If you want to cut down on carbs and sugar, it's such a great choice.

You can do it for breakfast. You can do it for a midnight snack. All kinds of awesome flavors. Cocoa, fruity, frosted, peanut butter, blueberry, cinnamon, cookies and cream. And, of course, maple waffle. Oh, maple waffle. That was an audience favorite. Not just in the Jordan Jesse Go audience, but in the broader Magic Poon fan community.

not just in the Jordan Jesse Go audience but in the broader Magic Poon fan community and people were worried it was going to go away because it was just a seasonal temporary flavor you know what they did they locked it down they made it permanent they put a ring on it maple waffle and

cookies and cream they're both in the Magic Spoon family permanently you can get a you can build your own custom bundle of all your favorite flavors, and it's a real treat. Magic Spoon, we like it. We think you will like it, too.

Go to magicspoon.com slash jjgo to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code JJGO at checkout to save five dollars off your order and magic spoon so confident in their product it's backed with a 100 happiness guarantee so if you don't like it for any reason they'll refund your money no questions asked so fucking tired of those questions that the other breakfast cereal companies put me through. No, no questions from Magic Spoon. Magicspoon.com slash JJGo and use code JJGo to save $5 off.

Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode. Can I drop a quick plug here, Jordan? I'm going to drop a quick. I would love to. This is a freebie. This one is what they call a freebie. Do a freebie. I'd always dreamed of having built-in shelving in my living room and parlor.

I live in a very old house. There's very old-timey wood in there. And I always thought it would be nice to have a kind of library sort of deal, you know, a place to put books and records. But I was worried that if I hired somebody to do it, they would do a shitty job that wouldn't be pretty like the pretty wood from 1889 or whatever the wood came in that's in my house already. So I was a little paralyzed about this. In the end, I'll tell you what I did. What?

I emailed Nick Offerman from Parks and Recreation. I said, this guy knows what. Yeah, sure. I'm talking about his thing. This guy has the most incredible hard-ons. And so I email Nick Offerman. He refers me to this women's woodworking collective. I email the women's woodworking collective.

I'm thinking about doing wood like library shelves in my blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The woman emails me back. Look, this is a collective, so we're going to pass the conch. And in a few weeks, you might hear from us or you might not. I'm like, okay, I'll accept it. Nick Offerman referred me to this. A week, 10 days later, I'm thinking, nobody wants this. I get an email from this guy. He says, know this is weird but uh i because i'm a dude and i'm in the women's woodworking collective my name is max and uh i'm the only person in the collective right now that's doing this kind of cabinet work he says and i would love to take this on or at least make you a proposal for these shelves and he he said, I hope this isn't weird.

I'm a Max Fund member and a Jordan Jesse Goat listener. Hey, check it out. And I said, I mean, it is weird in the sense that there's not a good reason to listen to the show that most people don't. You know, over 99.99% of Americans do not listen to Jordan Jesse Goat. You know, even my wife doesn't listen to it. You know, she's got what they call horse sense.

But I said, of course. And you know what he did? He built some spectacularly beautiful shelves. Okay. He brought the trim all the way around the shelves, Jordan. The trim for my walls, he took it out of the walls, built the shelves, then put the trim onto the shelves. Beautiful. Spectacular.

So if you're in Southern California, you want him to make furniture for you, do cabinet work for you, any kind of custom woodwork, Max Wilson Millworks is the name of his outfit. Max Wilson Millworks.com. You can name of his outfit. MaxWilsonMillworks.com. You can go on his website and look at some spectacularly beautiful doors he's made. I mean, the man makes beautiful shit. He's a very nice man. And if you hire him to make something,

you can ask him what the inside of my house is like if you learned any of my secrets what a treat so maxwilsonmillworks.com custom woodworking that's a free plug I didn't get anything for that I just appreciate the great job he did

we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Jordan Morris, boy detective. Danielle Radford, the rad star. That's fun. So when something momentous happens to you, give us a call, 206-984-4FUN, or send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. We've got a segment where we play those calls and voice memos. It's called Momentous Occasions. That's the segment we're doing now.

So I might as well have our producer, Brian Cindy Fernandez, press play on one of those calls so someone can share their momentous occasion with us for momentous occasions. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. Hey, go. This is Matt, the teacher in Ithaca. I just had a baby. My lovely wife had a yummy, yummy craving for Taco Bell, and I ended up at the back of the line. There was 14 cars ahead of me waiting, waiting, listening to you have a lovely chat with Sarah Val. Oh, it was so great.

And I get to place my order, and I just, you know, I've worked in service, so I want to hype up the person taking my order. You guys are doing such a great job. Thank you so much for taking care of all of us. It's a little crazy out here, but I hope that you guys are having fun in there. And we're just so appreciative that you're feeding all of us food tonight, this Friday night. The little high school kid is like, that is so nice. You know, that is so nice.

I want to buy your dinner. And I'm like, no, no, no, don't do that. That's okay. You don't have to do that. She's like, no, I insist. You can't stop me. And so I get to the front of the line, and I'm like, thank you so much. That was so great.

I really hope all of you guys are having fun tonight. We really appreciate all this. And the one cook who's like in the back, he's like, we're not having any fun. I'm like, oh, man, this guy's pissed. I'm sorry. And he's like, we're having a Baja blast. And that just killed me. It was, oh, shit, I'm going to be pulled over.

Wow. Wow. Wow. That's what they call the prestige. I have to say this. Please, Danielle. I have to say this. This was amazing because obviously, like, everyone who was working fast food right now who hasn't just't just like straight up walked out and told their managers to go fuck themselves. Like, I get it and I love you.

Heroes. Heroes all. I love that this dude was like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, whatever, had a baby. But what's most important is that I went to Taco Bell. And at the Taco Bell, they wished me... My wife was like, wham, wham, wham, baby. But what's most important is they wished me a happy Baha Blast. I mean, so I have a couple of thoughts going into that.

One, I for some reason thought when he's like oh oh we had a baby he was going back and telling the story of how the baby happened and for some reason i thought the beginning was i brought i brought someone taco bell and then you make babies happen yeah um anyway um so i thought that was like part of it Like my wife wasn't sure she wanted to have a kid, but once she saw that I could bring home some Taco Bell, she's like, this is the one. Um, can I just, yes, Jesse. Roll down the window, please, sir. Uh, yeah.

Hi. What's the, what's the problem? I'm sure you know why I'm pulling you over. Uh, I don't actually i thought i was going the speed limit to have a taillight out or something bringing too much goddamn joy to the world yeah no don't turn off your body cam it reminded me of that old nathan fillion 1-800 collect commercial where he's trying to like fit in.

I don't know if y'all remember collect calls. Back in the day, we used to have to make collect calls. And you would do a thing where you would record a message so people would know it was you. And Nathan Fillion, the people's Nathan Fillion, did one where he goes, he tries to fit in. We had a baby. It's a boy. And one of those. And so I definitely was thinking like we had a baby, it's a boy in one of those. And so I definitely was thinking like, we had a baby, it's a bell taco.

It's a chalupa. You know, when I got my cabin, you have to get a phone there because there's no cell phone. Cell phones don't work. There's no real internet up there. So you got to have a regular landline phone. And I didn't want to pay the like $30 a month for a long distance plan. So I'm like, well, it's not going to get used all the time. It's a lot of money on a month to month basis.

So I'm just going to use 1010 numbers to call long distance. I spent five hours on the internet trying to find a working 10 10 i'm like squalls who's why would why would gilbert godfrey lie to me which one did carrot top advertise exactly and in the end he got so beat up that he had to get bulk. Yeah. People kept trying to shove him into things. I mean, yeah, it was his only choice was to get jacked. In the end, I found that the only thing that you can do is you can order a phone card from Sam's Club. Sam's Club is like the only place you can get a phone card anymore.

And it's only because people need phone cards to make calls out of prisons that's like the only use case left for phone cards and 1010 numbers is because all everybody's phone now comes with long distance calls uh but none of the 1010 numbers work anyway it's just a little uh look back at 1010 numbers work. Anyways, just a little look back at 1010 numbers. A thing that was every commercial for roughly seven years. Also, I do have to mention this. Carrot Top recently posted a photo on Instagram where his dick was all the way out. No way! It was him like crouched down in a garden and his dick was coming out of his shorts.

Like total three companies stuff what kind of dick has he got i don't know just like a red one a little redden sure a little pinky i feel bad but i also feel like i've heard this is not the first time that he's had his dick out on instagram and i think it might just be a thing that he does because he thinks it's funny yeah it's sort of like his act you know you, you see it, you're like, well, I can see why people like it. It's pretty funny. Sure. Well, because at this point, like it's not like you can't do like you can do prop comedy, but like it's way funnier to like just have your dick out on Instagram and not have them take it down. Right. Nothing you can nothing

you can glue to a toilet seat will be as funny as a dick out on Instagram. Jordan, do you think maybe you should start your tour of comedians created character movies with a viewing of Chairman of the Board? Oh, yeah, maybe. I'm, now that we're talking about it, I'm like, Jordan, don't do this. These just keep them in a special place in your mind. Now that we're talking about it, I'm like, Jordan, don't do this. Don't, don't. These, just keep them, keep them in a special place in your mind. I recently rewatched a bunch of Gem in the Holograms.

I don't recommend going back in your memories. Yeah, I imagine that's a horrible show. Oh, it does not hold up. All those children's programs of our childhood are truly, excreably bad, Just astonishingly bad. You know what I think it was? I think that they just did a fucking great job with those theme songs. They really did.

The fucking theme song to Thundercats is so good. The show Thundercats is not good. The theme song is great. You know, I think you have a little bit of a better return with like DuckTales or Rescue Rangers, but those songs are far better than the shows. And that's also later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're not the ones, like, these are the ones

that were very much like Mattel was like, how do we sell more toys? We have a warehouse full of irregular Barbies. How can we make a show to move them? And their eyes glow. Yeah, they're like. Rotoscope the intro and then let it slide.

This Ken is horrifying. It looks like some kind of circus freak lion man. Great news. We just invented Thundercats. It's He-Man's nemesis, Mecha-Neck. These Kens have weird necks. This cat was too big. Yeah.

I'm like, yes. He-Man rides him. You know, how people ride cats around. Why is this? I wish in my dreams. Why is this Ken covered with green flocking? It's a little something called Moss Man, my friend. Moss Man, baby. And it's got a distinctive smell

it is yeah it is it is interesting that like that you know that is like prime kid entertainment for us and it was so it you know they they are objectively bad and and you know like obviously great memories some fun toys uh you know all that stuff, but just not great TV shows. They might be worse than those, like, let's get a gang in a van together and solve crimes shows, like Fang Face or something. Yeah, the Hanna-Barbera kind of. Jabberjaw.

Jabberjaw. I think that those at least have a celebrity. And I talk like a three stooge. I was going to say, a celebrity impression from the like a three stooge i was gonna say a celebrity impression from the golden age of cinema in them yeah um and it is interesting that like kids entertainment now like is is so good by comparison you know like steven universe is so good and like god you know and and yeah and like even the like goofy stuff even the kind of cashity stuff like you were talking about jesse like the lego shows like are still like

genuinely funny and have jokes and it is wild that like modern kids probably just watch that baby shark video over and over again yes like you have know. Like, you have 10 different shows about how gender is a spectrum being written by alternative comics artists. Or you're watching whatever weird thing is on YouTube where it's like Elsa and Anna? Yeah. Maybe Hug?

And it's like, why is this? Right, and then she gets a C-section and a racist makes slime. Yeah. Spider-Man poops. Like, what? You're just watching a Malaysian woman's hands put together Lego sets?

You guys have a beautiful meditation on grief. Now, I'm just gonna keep watching the thing where Spider-Man pees on Superman. Music video about Among Us. Fucking kids don't know how good they have it. 206-984-4FUN. JJ, go at MaximumFun.org. 206, baby!

All day until I die. Home of the cream cheese hot dog. 206, cream up that dog. Our voicemail server is at Safeco Field. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Well, hello. I'm Renee Colvert.

Hi, I'm Alexis Preston. And we are the hosts of Can I Pet Your Dog? And we got breaking news. We got an expose. All the beans have been spilled via an Apple podcast review that said, this show isn't well-researched. Well, yeah, no duh. Of course it's not.

Not since the day we started has it been well-researched. Guessing and anthropomorphizing dogs is what we do. The Can I Pet Your Dog promise is that we will never do more than 10 seconds of research before telling you excitedly about any dog we see. I'm going to come at you with top 10 enthusiasm, minimal facts.

We're here for a good time, not an educated time. So if you love dogs and you don't love research, well, you know what? Come on in to Can I Pet Your Dog podcast every Tuesday

on Maximum Fun Network. Dog podcast every Tuesday on Maximum Fun Network. from around the world. We've had folks call in from as far as Sweden, South Africa, and the Philippines. Here's an example. Yesterdog, where players must sing a Beatles song but throw in the word dog and dog-related terms. Like, do you have an example, Manolo? Yeah. Hey, dog.

Dog, dog, dog bone. Oh, okay. Dr. Game Show has new episodes every other Wednesday on Maximum Fun. Check us out. Check us out. Nice. It's Jordan, Jesse Gahm, Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, Boy Detective. Danielle Radford, your favorite wrestler who never wrestled. You know, it's one of the sad parts about not working out of the office at Maximum Fun, which you have not been doing, is that I don't get Danielle Radford wandering past my desk to go over to the studio to do Ticey Ficey. What a bummer not to see Danielle brightening my day.

Look, no offense to Hal or Lindsay or any of the other tightsy-fightsies, but everybody wants to see Daniel Radford wander past their desk bringing a little

ray of sunshine. It's nice to see your gargantuan cat thing. You just like that I yell about mirepoix sometimes. Who doesn't want to i yell about mirepoix sometimes who doesn't want to hear yelling about mirepoix it's a great base for all kinds of soups and sauces uh tides and fights we talk about wrestling but sometimes we also yell about great bases for soups and sauces

yeah danielle am i am i wrong in thinking that in addition to titan fights you also have like a shit ton of cool shit going on right now am i wrong about that um sure i uh in addition to titan fights i'm also uh as most people know me i'm one of the talking heads on the um fandom screen junkies universe stuff that happens in the mornings. I'm one of the writers on Honest Trailers. So if you like those, hey, that's great. I like it. I wrote a comic book recently that you can buy. And I think it's actually they released like a it was a miniseries based on the TV show Aggretsuko.

And mine was Aggretsuko Meet Her world number three. And I think they put all of those into a graphic novel now. So I think you can just buy those from Oni press. Um, what else am I doing? Uh, I just did, uh, a thing that people really like, which made me wild because I couldn't believe that people were so into it. Um But Dimension 20, we recently did a TTP RPG called Missits in Magic, which people really liked, which I was super into. I was the voice of a robot on a TV show.

I've done some stuff. Yeah, that's a resume. Daniel's staying busy. A lot of people are just learning how to do needlepoint or whatever. I, look, I bought a guitar. I bought a ukulele. I tried to knit.

I tried to do so many things during quarantine. It was wild. I would still like to do needlepoint. I should still try to get into it. In the end, you're like, why don't I just do a robot on TV? I'm just going to be a TV robot. Pass those, why don't I just do a robot on TV? Just gonna be a TV robot. Just gonna be a TV robot. Just a TV robot.

TV robot checks. You know what I'm talking about? Danielle, thanks for coming. And thanks for fucking taking notes. You know, thanks for taking notes. We appreciate it. You know who doesn't take notes? Chris Fairbanks. Yeah. I thought you were just gonna say Brian. Yeah. I'm pretty brian doesn't take notes

jamie kennedy doesn't take notes because it would ruin the experiment he was nice when i picked him up in a little go-kart and drove him to set so that's good yeah that's good i'd love to drive around in a little go-kart and drove him to set so that's good yeah that's good i'd love to drive around a little go-kart was that the bad would you say that was the best part of being a pa on living with fran yes and occasionally getting to interact with fran drescher who was lovely and always very nice to me awesome that's really cool well we've had a lot of fun here brian sunny d fernandez is our producer valerie moffitt on the web internet stream. You can find us on Reddit, maximumfun.reddit.com. You can find us on Twitter at jessithorn at jordan underscore morris.

Hashtag at JJ Go over there on Twitter. We're on Facebook at facebook.com slash jordanjessigo. We love you all very much. And our theme music is Love You by the free design courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. Maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported.