Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 724: Beta Flight with Rob Corddry

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

Rob Corddry (Top Gear America) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion Jesse's 19th century Spanish general doppelgänger, the new way that kids learn how to ride a bike, Ric Flair's motivational speeches to pro football teams, ways to get to heaven without dying, Jesse's daughter's new horror zine DEATH and the Horror Movie School Rob took his kids through.           

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. Oh, it's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, life hack and Elon stan. Oh, great. Well, Jordan, it was time you finally got into NFTs. Tell me about your apes, Jordan. Well, I have no apes. Yeah. I have some grapes, but I ate them.

But yeah, but I am considering going in that direction. Okay. Tell me about this because we've had a hard time monetizing this show. We've been doing it for over 27 years. Boy, yeah. Tell me about it. Tell me about this because we've had a hard time monetizing this show we've been doing it for over 27 years yeah tell me about it tell me about it yeah i am ten thousand dollars in the red once in a while a guy at trader joe's like at the counter at trader joe's will comp us a wrap right oh like a buffalo chicken wrap like a spicy lentil yeah wow man i didn't know i didn't know you were getting wrapsaps out of this.

What Trader Joe's? You're probably going to the wrong Trader Joe's. You should be going to the South Pasadena Trader Joe's. You're probably going to the Pasadena Trader Joe's. Yeah, I am because it's the first Trader Joe's. No. No, the South Pasadena Trader Joe's is... Oh, wait.

Isn't that in South Pasadena? Okay, look. Are we both? The point is- This is what people want. You're going to the right Trader Joe's. Roman stuff. You're just getting the wrong checker.

Man, okay. Yeah. Do we go to the same Trader Joe's? That's a fun reveal. We go to the same Trader Joe's in the same farmer's market. We're the same guy. God, similar men. Please take care of my family.

Go ahead, Jordan. Yeah, so I was at the pool. I was at the Verdugo Aquatic Facility. Please take care of my family. Go ahead, Jordan. Yeah. So I was at the pool. I was at the Verdugo Aquatic Facility. Because you're too chicken shit to go to the Rose Bowl. No, I just have friends at Verdugo. The Rose Bowl is too big for you. It's a bagel place. You can't fucking handle it.

Bagel place near there that I like. You're worried you'd choke under the big lights. Go ahead. That's true. That's true. I am worried about choking. Yeah. Ugh, this gag reflex. Boy. So I was at the pool and I was getting, and I'm, so I'm out of the pool.

I'm drying off and I see, I see someone else giving me, giving me the, giving me the look, giving me the what do I know you from? Oh, not a romantic look. So I considered it. I considered it. But it turned out not to be that. But it was not a come hither. It was like, were you in? It was that.

Do you think this person, do you think, did you look at this person and see them and grok them as somebody who might have been hanging out in a lot of sports bars that had a ton of TVs around 2011? Like just a shit ton of TVs. So they got every football game right every basketball game but then they also have fuel you yeah you're referring to my for my time on the uh late uh lamented yeah sports network fuel tv so this yeah so this guy was uh this guy was a a hunk a hunk or a stud okay straight up no one no i don't think anybody would say that i was wrong calling this fellow hunker a stud right so you're thinking immediately they know that he knows you from all about steve sure yes so you know it's like does does is this a 25 year old with a lip ring

this is probably a retinolink fan is this this a 35-year-old dressed like Roger Stone coming back from a Christmas party? This is a Jordan Jesse Goh fan. Or a character Tom Waits would play in a movie. Yeah. Wait, are all our fans white-suited dandies? They're, you know, it's a vibe. Okay. It's a vibe.

Yes, yeah. So, but this, I mean, obviously, this guy's wearing a Speedo. I don't know what his look is, but, like, I don't think he's one of these. Yeah. And. You can probably tell what kind of effect he's going to have on your gag reflex, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah.

God willing. God willing. And I know, it's okay, a recurring topic on this show is how you should not, if someone, you shouldn't tell someone who you think they look like. Yeah. Right? you shouldn't tell someone who you think they look like. Yeah. Right. We have a rule that if you're going to tell someone they look like someone, the person you're going to say they look like has to be famous in part for being attractive. Right. So you can't just say, well, I find them attractive.

Right. That's great. After you get offended. Right. That's great. After you get offended. Yeah. That's great. Mm-hmm. They have to be famous for being attractive. Kate Winslet, which is who I think you look like.

Go ahead. Thank you. Thank you. I'm not a size zero either, you know? Real Jordan self-curves. Thank you. And I think we all loved my philly accent yeah water i said water and everybody went nuts water yeah oh i said it i said water um anyway so that's that's out there that's out of the way this guy comes up to me and he says i'm sorry but do you make

tesla hack videos for youtube yes and i said uh no i have i have done some work for youtube so i've been in some YouTube videos, but I don't do Tesla hack videos. He's like, man, you just, you look, can I show you? So he gets his phone, gets his phone out of his bag, comes over. I didn't even know, Jordan, that Kate Winslet was doing those videos. It seems like her acting career should be enough. Listen, we all, yeah, you think so. But I mean, you know, those minimums are, you know, they're going down.

People aren't getting as many residuals because of streaming. So, you know, you got to have you have your Patreon. You got to have your OnlyFans. You got to have your Tesla hack videos. So he pulls up this. Kate Winslet's OnlyFans. Absolutely incredible. Sure.

Go ahead. Kate Winslet told me fans. Absolutely incredible. Sure. Go ahead. Her Philly accent in her masturbation videos. Oh, can I have? Wooder, she says. I want your hoagie, she says.

Sure. Hoagie, she says. Hoagie. Hoagie. Yeah. Guy brings up the YouTube app, pulls up these tesla which are like saved in his phone they're like right there he didn't have to shirts for it pulls up these tesla hack videos i look exactly like this fucking guy this is the spider-man meme of him pointing at the other

spider-man this is this is this is my into the spider-verse i look exactly like this tesla and this guy is just walking around at tesla going you know if you want to unlock it you have to get close with the key and he's just doing and it's not even like can you like jailbreak it to make it play you know whatever like like torrented videos or something like that. It's just like, here's how to maximize the trunk space in your Tesla. And I'm like, well, I bet this guy makes more in a video than I make in six months. So why don't I lean in? I don't own a Tesla. I don't have a lot of interest in Teslas.

But I mean, I can learn. I can start getting into Elon, the boring company, Grimes. Scams in general. Scams, sure. I can do it. I think I can do it. Just broadly. Are you with me? Can I, I want to share with you a picture that someone sent me on the internet one day. And this is going to be something that we'll share on Facebook and so forth eventually.

But it is a painting of a man whose name is Martin Tovar E. Tovar.var okay i don't really know who that is i believe he's like some sort of spanish general from the 19th century okay and people post pictures that they say look like me all the time and they at message me and i'll tell you what about them looks like me it is that they are white people with beards right all white people with beards brown beards no blondies sure all people all white people with brown beards usually bald so you've gotten every lumineer you've got every mumford and son yes not the sun Son so much anymore as I've entered middle age. Sure, yeah. Now, Martin Tovar y Tovar, I had to admit, legitimately looks like me.

So I have shared this in the chat. We'll introduce our guest on the program. Our guest on the program is an acclaimed comic actor. He's the star of numerous films and television series. He's a good old friend of ours. He's a man we've talked about Trader Joe's with many times. Let's find out what Trader Joe's he goes to. Won't that be exciting? Hi, Rob. Yeah. Oh, you guys. I'm so glad you brought trader joe's back up because that was at the beginning the very beginning and i felt like it would be shoehorning

it in if i because i got so so much to say you know what do you get free at the south pasadena trader joe which was the first one they have uh plates yeah There's plates? In the back with the little frozen foods that they've cooked up. And they just give them to you. So you're going to ask for a plate at Trader Joe's? You're like, oh, I don't want the pig in a blanket. I'll just take the plate. Is this only if you have a Tesla? Is this only if you have a Tesla?

I go to the Silver Lake Trader Joe's. And yeah, this is Silver Lake. Right. Beck eats there. Parents go there in their Teslas, yes. And the Tesla 3s, though. Not the S. Yeah.

Rob, I'm writing all this down because I didn't know there was a three i didn't know there was an s so i have uh never been interested in any i kind of tune out when i hear tesla and that is that that there is tesla hack videos is fascinating to me and then i was like oh my god that's is it worth getting one of those cars to be able to oh no you can just like this trunk space you know you know it's great it's great because a lot of people think that you're limited just to the regular like bookshelves that tesla sells but because they come in component pieces you can rebuild them into other things. Wait. Yeah. Because it's standardized hardware.

So you can rebuild. You can build whatever you want out of the pieces. It's cheaper than just buying lumber. I can tell that you're joking, but that is my dream. Yeah. Why can't you hack a Tesla? It's just a computer yeah then you can play japanese games yeah yeah you can play that sonic fighting game that didn't come out in america yeah thanks jordan no problem c-man you can't play c-man on an unhacked tesla um i thought about i'm like oh this will be funny

like i have this story i should i should find one of these videos and like show it show it to everybody um i so tesla hack video very very popular youtube video and what and there's so many of them and i'm like why i can't find this guy who looks like me i was searching for a little bit and i'm like i've been searching for tesla videos for 15 minutes i have now ruined the internet for myself forever. My algorithm is now so fucked. My algorithm is so utterly fucked. You're like, Apple Music is playing Grimes? I asked for They Might Be Giants.

We should have a dummy computer for all that crap. Yes. A burner? Like a burner. You're absolutely right this is a brilliant idea just have a little apple 2s yeah right or uh yeah and just um that's where you do all your uh that's where it's your shame pod like yeah yeah in your chat windows, guys. Yes. I've shared a picture of Martin Tovar y Tovar. Okay.

And you don't expect when someone shares a picture of a 19th century Spanish general with you. Right. That you're going to think he looks like you. But honestly, Martin Tovar y Tovar is legitimately the spitting image of me only in a crazy 19th century general outfit. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? This guy also looks like my friend Oren.

And that made me realize that you look a lot like my friend Oren, who's very handsome. Thank you. Very fuckable. Yeah. Yep. Here's just some gut reactions about the photo of Tovari Tovar. I think you're right. The resemblance is absolutely there.

Tovari Tovar, and again, I don't know anything about this man. He could be a celebrated hero or whatever. Just my gut seeing this photo. Holy shit. He was a painter? Why the fuck is he wearing this? Oh, this is a painting. Okay, update.

I don't look like Martin Tovari Tovar. I look like a painting by Martin Tovari Tovar of Antonio Guzman Blanco. Oh. So a lot of people out there were probably yelling that. Yelling, screaming at their... Oh my God! Well, whoever this man is,

he's committed atrocities. This is a man with a lot of blood on his hands. He was a Venezuelan military leader, statesman, diplomat, and politician. He was president of Venezuela, three separate terms. Wow. Member of the movement known as Matt and Paul, he was president of Venezuela, three separate terms. Wow.

Member of the movement known as Liberalismo Amarillo. Yellow freedom, yellow liberty. It's a really cool look, only wearing one glove, holding the other glove in his hand. Right. Like he wants to have it handy to slap. For slapping. Challenge to a duel. Yes, for duel challenges.

Is he putting them on? Is he taking them off? Who knows? I like that he's wearing a coat that has kind of a flap opening, sort of like a peacoat does. It's off center, but a similar premise. And the lining of the coat is red with gold brocade. Not fucking around this guy. Rob, who do people tell you you look like someone? Like when you were like growing up, was it someone?

And is it someone else now? No, growing up, no. But like Jesse was saying, I look like all bald guys. You know? All balds. Yeah, balds. like like jesse was saying i look like all bald guys ah you know i mean yeah balts like uh i i i'd buy uh i that i look somebody said i look like jesse thorne um and yeah i'm not as handsome as a rob cordray if you guys could coordinate beards if you guys could coordinate beard length yeah oh man you could probably if i had the frames if i had the specs for it yeah you could probably do a um what's that freaky friday yeah oh you know what i here's the problem with that scheme i that's very kind of you

to say jordan it's very kind of you to say rob the reality is this rob corddry has television best friend looks in fact rob corddry has film best friend looks this is a good looking guy whoa not real best friend looks though people in real life see me and they're like you're gonna you're gonna steal my girl rob you're a casual you're a casual acquaintance at best i don't like like him. I'll wave at you at the Trader Joe's. I have smarmy peripheral character looks. That's

a guy who ruined the party. Yes. I have a guy who goes past in the background on a velocipede. I mean, and I guess I have Tesla life hack video. Good looks,

but I'm told a lot that, uh, people come up to me a lot and, and, and tell me that they love the hangover and that I was the best part of it. I'm not the hangover. Um, um,

uh, oh man, let's see. Okay. Uh, early, early 2000s raunchy comedies uh knocked up uh super bad ron burgundy uh anchorman oh yeah yeah um yeah so it's like dave kechner i uh oh apparently i may as well be kechner sheer paul sheer and uh and people will swear i'm not rob cordray i'm like i'm wrong they'll be like no no you're that guy yeah yeah yeah you're that guy when you see when you see someone kind of like coming up to you in that way and that kind of like where do i know you from

way can you kind of tell what they're going to say based on their vibe? Yeah. Yeah. There's three different. Well, there's three different looks in general, right? The I want to fuck you look, which I have gotten since I've never I haven't gotten a long, long time. Yeah. I am aquatic center.

Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. So the that look the there's the the you and I know you look. And then there's what my wife and I called mad dogging. You know? And she's like, see that little kid over there at the table over there? He's mad dogging you.

And sure enough, I look over there and the kid's like, he looks like he wants to beat the shit out of me. And so, but there is, yeah, there's like a couple different, I definitely can tell Daily Show people because they have a tote bag. Classic limousine liberal. They look like Alan Alda. classic limousine liberal they look like alan alda alan alda got me there was a there was a mom at the park today pushing a kid in uh in a swing and she had on a brown university sweatshirt and was carrying a new yorker tote bag and i just was just thinking one or the other lady one or the other pick one yeah take off one accessory before you leave the house yeah so it's uh those guys and then um yeah you can tell them that the other common one is the

person that doesn't know who the fuck you are but someone that they're with said that guy's famous and they have a bet and yeah you can definitely read that in a look because they're with said that guy's famous and they have a bet. And yeah, you can definitely read that in a look because they're like, they're already dubious and they're already pretending. They don't want to have this conversation with me as they're walking up. That's a good one. Yeah.

What do they look like once you show them your celebrity card? I, well, it takes, I get up my, I usually just scroll through my IMDB page for a little bit. Have it up at all times. I have a,

I don't have it on me, but I have, I'll have my SAG after my Dropbox folder. And they'll, they'll be like, yeah, yeah. And these people are usually old they're out of my um demographic anyway so i go old people are making bets with each other usually with their kid with

their with their uh son or daughter who is right in my strike zone i'm not sag after but i keep the letter that i got asking for three thousand,000 to join SAG-AFTRA in my Apple wallet. Right. Yeah. Letting people know you're eligible. Yeah. I'm SAG-AFTRA eligible. Mm-hmm.

Oh, man. I'm going to cast you. I'm going to cast you in something just so you have to pay. Now you're like. Yeah. Cast him in something that pays $200. So he has to pay $ you're you're like cast him yeah cast him in something that pays two hundred dollars so he has to get up to pay he has to pay three thousand dollars and it's going to be a guy going past in the background on a whatever the fuck it was you said the loss of something yeah i pretended

like i knew what that was i plant oh the last a raptor it's like an old-time bike right yeah okay okay yeah our bone shaker that's another kind an old-time bike, right? Yeah, old-time bicycle. Is this like an old-time? Okay. Okay. Yeah, a Bone Shaker. That's another kind of old-time bike, Bone Shaker. Bone Shaker? Yeah, I think that's true. Did that have a gear shift in the middle on the bar? God. You did a gear shifting motion like you were driving a big rig or possibly operating the depth on a submarine

that's my ideal is like i want you know huffing down the street when i was a kid this is my ideal right here so rob's on an orange county chopper yeah exactly throwing it into second gear. Yeah. I feel like at any moment, I'm 30 seconds away from owning and riding a low rider bicycle. Do it, dude. Like plenty of them available in my community. How much could they cost? $350? Like not to brag, but I got that. I bet the base low rider bike is relatively inexpensive.

But if you really want to trick it out, that's when it's an investment. Like when you want to put that fucking four on the floor right in the middle of it. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. You can't just get the base model. That's like, you know, white Jordans. Yeah, that's fair.

Both of you are childhood men. Have you guys had to teach children to ride bikes in that kind of classic dad sort of way? They got a new way of doing it now. Do they? I remember thinking this is going to be exactly the same. I'm going to do this just like my dad did it. And I don't know. I think my kids just picked it up a lot faster than I did.

Frankly, I don't even remember, so I'm useless. Yeah. I'm slow on the transportation uptake. I don't think I learned to ride a bike myself until I was like 9 or 10. I think I was very old, and then I didn't get a driver's license until I was 20. Oh, man. I think I'm just most I'm most comfortable on foot. And I just learned to drive manual.

I just learned to drive manual six weeks ago. Why did you do it? Why did you learn how to drive manual? I bought a weird Japanese micro van. I may or may not be able to. Toyota Previa? The Toyota Previa? Much more, much micro-er than that.

It's called a Subaru Sambar. Dyess Classic. Wow. And it's very difficult to register in the state of California. So there is some chance that in six or eight weeks, I will be back on this program, begging someone out of state to buy my Subaru Sambar.

But it had a manual transmission so i had to get a guy to teach me how to drive manual uh and i can sort of do it now do you like it do you like doing it well god rob you know how i am about road feel yeah right i mean you want to be you got your driving shoes on. Yeah. Of course. Absolutely. I got my driving gloves on with the webbing on the background so that my hands don't get clammy. Yeah. You can flex. Yeah.

Yeah. I got the oil slick. Yeah. I press a button. It makes an oil slick. Machine guns in the front. Yeah. Yeah.

What is it? What makes it? Why can't you register it? It's something about it coming from Japan. And California has very weird and specific emissions rules. But we'll see how they do when they go to the CHP. I don't think this was ever sold in the US. So yeah, it's a real hornet's nest.

I got to talk to the chips. Head down to the CHP. See what Eric Estrada has to say about this. Yeah, Podge will take care of you. I got a guy. I got a guy. i got an emissions guy yeah any any you guys need a cadillac converter removed and um yeah need to pass a smog test anybody yeah yeah i can do that i can do that cadillac converter off so now these, you teach a child to ride a bicycle in the following manner. Yeah.

You get them one of these scoot bikes that doesn't have any pedals. Instead of getting them, they don't do, now it's not advised to have training wheels. Training wheels are out. Scoot bikes are in. You get these bikes that have pedals, but you just take off the pedals and then you make the seat low enough that they can scoot around on it. So they sit on the seat and scoot with their feet. And eventually they get bored of that. And by the time they're bored of that, they can balance it. And they're like, please put the pedals on. And you put the pedals on and then they can basically just do it huh what are the emissions

like on one of those bikes uh well that's the thing you got to get it you got to get the vin verified at the chp and you don't oh i got a guy that can do that you need a guy yeah i need a cadillac conversion can you get me that yeah yeah on a scoot On a scoot? On a scoot? Yeah, on a scoot. Let me make a call. I have the scoots, by the way. Just a side note. Go ahead, Jordan. I know Vin Diesel is a stage name. Do you think that's where he got Vin from? I don't think it's a stage name.

I kind of understand where Diesel came from. His mother named him Vehicle Identification Number Diesel. It was actually, at birth, it was Vehicle Identification Number Diesel. It was actually, at birth, it was Vehicle Identification Number Dieselberg. I forget what Vin Diesel's real name, but it is something like Norton Chomley. It is something that is just like so... Wow. It would be awesome if Vin Diesel's dad was Noam Chomsky. I feel like an idiot.

I totally bought Vin Diesel. Never even second guessed it. Really? Yeah. You were just kind of like, this is the power of names. Like when you give someone a name like Vin Diesel, of course, they're going to be the greatest action star of their generation. It might be that. You've never worked with Vin Diesel.

Have you ever worked with him? Have you ever? No, no, no, no no no tyrese um never worked with tyrese either or kate winslet what's the number one like if somebody comes up to you at a bar and they say my friend says you've worked with a real celebrity what what name would you pull oh the rock The Rock. Yeah. Right? I mean, yeah. I mean, Walton Goggins is a close number two, but it's probably got to be The Rock. Well, for me personally, there's a whole host of like,

yeah, but The Rock would definitely be the most famous. I mean, I think he's statistically the most famous person in the world. Right. Human. The most known human. Yeah. This is when you were in the WWE. I pulled The Undertaker. We need WWE

stars. Yeah. For me, it's got to be Rowdy Roddy Piper. Did you know that a real thing... So you guys know football teams, right? Yeah. Professional football teams? Yeah. Cleveland Browns, of course, Buffalo Bills, so on and so forth. Yeah.

Yeah. The National Football League. Green Bay Packers, for instance. Should we just keep naming them? Yeah. I'll name one. Go ahead. Miami Dolphins.

Of course. The Miami Dolphins. Miami Dolphins. Everybody wants to talk Miami Dolphins. New Orleans Miami Dolphins Miami Dolphins Everybody wants to talk Miami Dolphins So we're all on the same page Yeah Yes

So You knew they had to come Marching into this conversation Right guys? There you go This I knew you were going Somewhere with this

That was good This whole thing Was a setup For that perfect gag That's right So Football teams NFL football teams This whole thing was a setup for that perfect gag. So football teams, NFL football teams will be like, and I think I heard about this because the 49ers did this a few years ago. And it was like when they were headed to the Super Bowl or the NFC championship game or

something. It was for a huge, huge game. And again, these are professional football players. They've been playing football their entire life. They're getting paid, in some cases, many millions of dollars to do this. They're the best in the world. And they need to get inspired. And football coaches will hire Ric Flair to come inspire the players. Wow. Ric Flair will just come. Just actual 65-year-old or 70-year-old Ric Flair

will be paid real money by an NFL football team in the playoffs to come. Playing in the NFL playoffs, not enough for these teams. But when 1980s wrestling star Ric Flair shows up to yell at them that's when it really gets gets going like okay the the age of your average professional football player is like 22 yeah who knows who rick flair is these men are asking byf dolf lundgren to come in and pump him up look it's he-man what are you talking about what's he-man errol flynn is here folks robin hood himself

captain blood the feared pirate so i think he's probably what is so, so he's like, is he specifically sports for, or specifically NFL motivational speaker? I think he does this for baseball. I think a big part of Ric Flair's business now is delivering inspirational speeches to professional teams, to professional sports teams. I don't know if he, look, I can't sit here here and tell you does he go in there and do a hockey team or a you know uh like uh a major league lacrosse team sure i think he's probably i think he's probably if we type in rob highlight highlight connecticut rick flair inspires major league baseball team. Let's see.

Let's see. He pumps up the crowd for the Astros against the Yankees, but only via video message. Yeah. So it's kind of like a cameo. Yeah. You can just buy a cameo from Ric Flair and play it on the Jumbotron. He also gave a gold championship wrestling belt to Dustin Bedroia at Fenway Park.

But it looks like Ric Flair is really focusing on the NFL. He's inspired the Falcons and the 49ers. He visited the 49ers. How many of these teams have won? I don't know. That's an interesting question. So, I mean, maybe I think what we have to think about is, is Ric Flair a jinx? Wow. Should you hire Ric Flair for your enemies? Yeah. Oh, wow.

Man. Do you think it's possible Ric Flair gave an inspirational speech to the ozone layer? And that's why we're in such trouble? No, I think it's oil corporations, Jesse, not paying their fair share. I don't know. I'm going to be humorless guy. It turns out. That's my that's going to be my thing.

Rick Flair's dad was Noam Chomsky. Sure. I don't know. Why do we even make this show? Oh, Jesse, say say something say something about so I'd say like oh Ric Flair inspires football teams yeah Ric Ric Flair has inspired a number of football teams including oh so can he cure CTE thanks Jordan can he cure it Jordan's new character humorless guy having a lot of fun with this hey Jordan do you know about

have you heard anything about this character from the world of Nintendo named Wario this guy's like an evil Mario sounds like someone storming the capital on January 6th who still hasn't been prosecuted you know

kids in cages sorry um all that's actually a problem that's all actually a problem these things are real problems all jokes aside all jokes aside these are all actual problems i'm not saying that they're not your actual problem just saying this is a type of person who sometimes like you know just like fucking torpedoes a conversation with some like one bummer you guys know what i mean you guys know yeah that's i think oh that's the kind of person that comes up to me the daily show person yeah yeah like they come they think we've done amazing work important important work important there was a time i'm a public radio host who often interviews comedy personalities for my program bullseye and um there was a time when i was just booking guest after guest on my show and i would ask my guy at public radio

international like did that have any impact like have any of these program directors heard of any of these people and eventually he just said jesse just book people from the daily show it's what they know just book original his advice was people from the daily show and cast members of the original star trek the first star trek He's like, get George, George Takei and Rob Corddry was his recommendation. Two very different worlds. Is it possible since they were

watching so much Daily Show, like they would have like maybe had Comedy Central on and you could have like made some headway by booking Cartman? Yeah.

Or any of the guys, any of the boys. I literally had Mancia on six times, six times. I interviewed Carlos Mencia. We really got into it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Never made an impact. He doesn't move. He doesn't move the needle. No, that's just the reality of the situation. How have things been going in your life, Rob? It's been,

it's been a while since we've talked. It's been great. Um, I've been, uh, I've been great. I life, Rob? It's been a while since we've talked. It's been great. I've been great. I have been doing nothing. I have so little to say about myself. I was telling the guys earlier, I got COVID. And yeah, about a month ago. 19 or one of the new?

Yeah, 19. 19 a month ago. 19 or one of the new ones? Yeah, 19. 19, the good one. And it was... Certainly tops in its field. Fantastic. It was fantastic to finally... I don't know if you heard me before, but I know your audience didn't

because this is the show and that wasn't the show. Yeah. But, you know... Cordra gets it. Cordra gets it. I was a little uh yeah i i felt a little starstruck like this is the thing we've been talking about and here it is in my house it was uh it was great you know but that said i was very very very sick very sick just no omicron's the one to get yeah i i'll say this for COVID-19.

You know, a lot of people put it down and look, as my friend Jordan Morris would say, it's a real problem. Go ahead. There's no doubt about that. It's a real problem. But you have to credit it with really putting COVIDs on the map. There were all these previous COVIDs. Not one of them, you know, not one of them was on the front page of the New York Times. not one of them you know not one of them was on the front page of the new york times but it's kind of like how how how nirvana you know led to popularity for other grunge bands

yeah uh yeah yeah from now on it's going to be we're going to be saturated with different yeah uh you're right that's a really good point that's a really good point i've always been more into COVID X COVID X? I just kind of feel like it takes it to the max, you know? Sure COVID Xtreme! I'm into COVID Blue Raspberry

Baja Blast COVID Low Sugar COVID Oh, sugar? The thing that's causing the obesity epidemic in our country. Who are you here with, sir? I can't find my way home. I lost my phone and I wandered in. I stepped on a nail and it really hurts

this is a private party to celebrate the death of our dear friend oh death the thing that takes people to heaven I'm sorry I'll leave try and find a payphone

if there was another way to get to heaven now that you it, that would be how to do it, right? What's that? If there was another way to get to heaven besides death. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. To what? Barge in on parties? No. What's the waste? I mean, just get up there and flap around a little.

Just go, you mean. You're saying just go. Yeah. Just hit that shit up. I don't- Like, you know, we're all waiting for the- I have no argument. We're all waiting for the perfect time to take that vacation.

I've always wanted to see Rome. I've always wanted to see Bali. Just go. Yeah. Just go to heaven. Just go to heaven. Just go. It's like, you know how British people are always going to Ibiza

Instead of going to Ibiza Just go to heaven Either way bring Molly Sure When you're rolling in the big H Oh man it's God does he know we're fucked up i think he knows we're fucked up oh man saint peter you feel so good in my hand saint peter from the judeo-christian tradition that's been putting down whips. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

I think, what would be your top way to get to heaven other than dying? That's a great question. Great question. I think with the, I would be surrounded with my best friends,

the Avengers, and it would probably be through a portal that either Tony Stark or the Hulk or Hank Pym whipped up who's your best friend in the Avengers Rob oh who do I yeah you mean like who do you hang out with the most like obviously you do a lot of group hangs it's gonna surprise you uh-huh Clint Barton Hawkeye oh really yeah great guy nobody else except for the black widow i think so and we have sort of a fun little group you know the three of us that's my did i um

rob yokoham so you hawkeye hawkeye and the black widow the black widow you say you have a fun little group fun little yeah they sure did didn't i just went ahead and said it i just went ahead and said it fun to say is this is this a romantic group or or purely sexual oh we we yeah we fuck we fuck each other yeah oh yeah yeah cool every which way every which way from sunday god you know what i'd love to have i'd love to have the hawkeye from the avengers go ahead uh shoot an arrow right right into my prostate now that's sure just wow that's an orgasm like you've never felt before well if anybody can do it it's it's clint he's that good he's that good he's saying it's a small target there sounds unbelievable you gotta

get the angle right he never misses jordan what would be your top way to get into heaven besides uh besides uh uh dying and avengers is already taken fuck i was gonna say avengers uh i'm gonna go with the justice league i'm gonna get superman to throw me into a you're going into a portal i'm going into a boom tube created by a mother box yeah so it's totally different it's not just the same fucking thing that's good everybody does to push a plot guys i feel like we are all sort of on the same page here because i was thinking alpha flight the only problem is the quarantine rules in vancouver yeah so you go up there you know gotta spend two weeks

in the hotel room before and then you could put one of the characters from Alpha Flight. I literally can't name an Alpha Flight. Was Wolverine in that? Maybe Wolverine's in Alpha Flight. I'm sure he's been in Alpha Flight. I mean, he's Canadian. Who's in Alpha Flight, Rob? I'm sure he's been probably,

he's probably hung out peripherally and been like, you guys are losers. I'm out of here. I'm in all of the groups. He's in all of the groups. Who's in Alpha Flight? I don't... You got Sasquatch. You got the Wendigo. Oh, yeah.

Really? Yeah, I think so. I think Wendigo is a bad guy, but I think he goes back and forth. Shaman, Snowbird sasquatch aurora north star and guardian oh but later in volume two you got man bot that's some top tier top tier material there

is wendigo in there or is he only a bad guy well you got puck and puck too and of course oh well that's no joke major maple leaf and yukon jack jesus christ these are can you be racist against canada yeah the syrup boy and i don't think they, they probably not made an alpha flight in a long time. Wendigo is one of the notable villains along with the Plo Dex and the Collector. The Collector. Okay. We all know the Collector. And of course, Soman, the great artificer. Yep.

You guys know about him. Puck is fun. He cracks wise. Yeah. Yeah. And Soman is known for his artifice. Okay. Now, what are the admissions on that. Yeah. Yeah. And so Mon is known for his artifice. Okay. You know?

Now, what are the admissions on that? Yeah. Alpha flight would be how I would get to heaven without dying. That would be amazing. Sorry, I was just talking to a humorless guy. Yeah. And he was about to yell some shit about how Canada's healthcare is better than ours, about how, you know, in Scandinavian countries, they get six months off for,

um, maternity leave. Um, so should we just like take a break and I can like calm him down? Yeah, please get him some, get him a spoonful of Nutella. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan,

Jessica. it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorn america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective now jordan i think you can tell me what brings every single episode of Jordan, Jesse Go to our audience. The subscribers to MaximumFun.org. Yeah, all those beautiful little members. You know what I call them? My little sweetums. Such sweetums. And they are sweetums, aren't they?

Yeah. Little cherry tomatoes supporting us. Apple-cheeked. What's your favorite apple? I'm into Sundowner right now oh yeah yeah um let's see i mean you know i like i like a fuji i like a jazz um honey crisp jazz is a little sweet for me i mean it's just not there's not enough kick to it sure i like a sweet apple but i like i i don't feel like the jazz doesn't have anyway well. Listen, they're all great, except

for Gala. Yeah, fuck Gala. Damn, I hate Gala apples. Oh, I'm just retching from this Gala apple. Thinking about eating, oh, if I would, even smelling a Gala. Guys, I just lost my lunch. I just lost my lunch over here. I just yarfed.

What's that smell? is there a gala in here pretty bigfoot just queef who galed on this ferry oh dude somebody galed this ferry that's not coming out okay you gotta wash yourself in tomato juice if you get galed. Okay, we're also supporting this week by the good people at Magic Spoon. Look, 2022 is a new year. We're looking to the future. We're going to make things better. Maybe you're looking to save time in your morning routine because you've been eating soups and stews for breakfast. Right.

Well, how else are you supposed to get protein, Jesse? Maybe you're trying to eat healthier or get stronger. Well, good news. Magic Spoon is here for you. This is a breakfast cereal, Jordan. Yes. A delicious breakfast cereal. It's a delicious way to get protein before or after workouts.

It's got zero grams of sugar, 140 calories, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and only four net grams of carbs in each serving. Um, and it is, it's really tasty. More, more importantly, it's, it's, it's legitimately tasty. It's a great way to start your day. It's a great midnight snack. It's a great midday snack. Uh, there's a lot of fun times to day. It's a great midnight snack. It's a great midday snack. There's a lot of fun times to eat Magic Spoon.

Mid-afternoon? Sure. Mid-anything. Early morning. Mid-Atlantic. Thanks. Mid-shipman. Sure.

Yeah. What are we doing again? Making a show. Magicspoon.com slash JJGo to grab a custom bundle of cereal. Start your new year off right. And be sure to use our promo code JJ Go at checkout to save $5 off your order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product. It's backed with a 100% happiness guarantee.

So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked. Remember, get your next delicious bowl of cereal at magicspoon.com slash JJGO and use the code JJGO to save $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode. The only cereal that my four-year-old with a mild to moderate speech delay calls magic poon. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. Oh, it's Jordan, Jesse, go.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Rob Corddry, reluctant alcoholic. I don't, I don't want to be. Do most duty calls. I hate, I hate, I don't like like any of it i don't like the feeling but i just i drink all the time you feel compelled yeah yeah no no wow you don't even feel compelled huh i know i have no no idea why i do it yeah you know everybody else a lot of people do it and then i just yeah you start doing like i'm thirsty right you know yeah that's a good reason i can understand that yeah it's a thing i'm dying i'm dying sure it's

corroding my liver but yeah you know i'm not in good health no my body does not retain vitamins i love the taste you know I just love Love the taste I felt the same way about Orange is the New Black At first I was like I don't know if this Women in prison show is for me But then I tried it I fell in love with the characters Sure

That's ultimately It's possible that you fell in love with the characters Rob Is Orange is the New Black what caused Your liver to erode? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm in O-I-T-N-B-A. Everything in moderation. Let go and let God.

That's what I say with regard to Orange is the New Black. Right. One day at a time. Just admit there's a higher power. And it's Netflix. Yeah. Thank you. Ba-bong.

Jordan, I've been admitting that since a little show called Lillehammer. Wait, is that the one about the American gangster in Norway? That's the one. That's the one. That's the one. Still the best Netflix show. Still the best one. It's all been downhill since Lilyhammer. Can I just say this? Say what you will about

little Stevie Van Zandt, but he really put Norway on the map. Am I right? Norway? Yeah. You just said a mouthful. Thank you. Norway? In his memoir, he said he was addicted to threesomes. Classic problem.

Just, you know, together with the Black Widow and Hawkeye. He was not in The Avengers or Alpha Flight, but he was in not in the avengers or alpha flight but he was in beta flight sure beta flight is me and jordan that's what they call this show yeah we changed the name from the cuck squad to beta flight okay so we don't fight crime nope we don't we just cry we don't assemble no no one assembles oh yucky oh yuck so much rigmarole the planning oh boy things we hate rigmarole and of course bunkum oh also a monkey business malarkey and again beeswax beeswax the whole thing these are malarkey yeah these are words that are somewhat similar so uh we take we take phone calls on this show rob just so you know

a 206-984-4 fun that's crazy we just have people send us voice memos at jj go at maximum fun.org look i don't mean to offend your delicate sensibilities, Robert. It's just crazy. So it's something we've been doing a lot of. You guys are nuts, man. We're going to put this on the map. So we have a lot of segments that we've

thought of. The map of Norway? Thanks, Jordan. Addicted to threesomes? To threesomes? An American gangster addicted to threesomes? Always wearing a bandana? So, I'm supposed to be interviewing little Stevie for Bullseye coming up.

I'll be sure to play him a segment. I'm supposed to be interviewing little Stevie for Bullseye coming up. I'll be sure to play him a segment. It's your duty as a journalist to ask him about his addiction to threesomes. So we have a lot of segments that we've thought of that people call into. It's our idea that we thought of when we're working on the show, which we do a lot. We don't just sit down and bullshit about other ways to get into heaven besides dying. Yeah,

I get it. You guys are, you guys are professionals. You spit ball. Sure. And, um, so we spit ball,

then we win. Oh, only the gold comes on this show and no bad ideas, et cetera. And then you have this segment. Just solid gold stuff. Describing paintings, 19th century paintings. So this is an example of one of those segments that we created. It's not just someone calling in, then saying a segment they thought of,

and then doing something for that segment. I feel like that's what it is. I feel like that's what it is, I feel like that's what it is. So this is something we thought of and probably copyrighted when the writers called. Okay. Okay. And then they called in later after we thought of it. Go ahead and play Brian. Let's say that's what it is.

Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. Hey, Brian. And guest. Going to go ahead and say the guy who voiced the Kool-Aid man in the Kool-Aid commercials. Anyway, my name is Nick, and I'm in for your long-standing and much beloved segment things i overheard in the public restroom uh as a transgender man i don't have the greatest relationship with public bathrooms always been a little anxious self-conscious uh but this past

summer on a sunday afternoon i was in the stall minding my business. A man walked into the bathroom and came up to the urinal very close to me, probably did not realize I was there, unzipped and said softly to himself, okay, it's pee pee time. And after that, I was not so self-conscious about my activities in the bathroom. Thanks. Love the show. Bye. Oh, wow. Sometimes your penis needs a pep talk. like a football team needs rick flair it's me the nature boy rick flair

oh yeah did someone say pee pee time snap into a penis and then it's nappies. I'm a French guy that barely speaks English. Andre the Giant is here too. I'm drinking a case of wine so I really know how to pee. It's me, Brutus the Barber Beefcake. But you didn't know my voice was so weird. Hi, I'm the Undertaker.

I'm going to do my signature move on you, which is probably a suplex or something. That was a joke in the movie Suburban Commando, is that Undertaker was one of the bad guys, and then at the end, and he didn't talk, and at the end he finally talked and he had a weird voice. Oh my gosh. Well, I mean, I probably thought

of that before they made that movie. Mailed it to myself. I'm not suggesting that you, i'm just saying that's a fun it's like a fun connection i'm not saying that you stole it just a fun connection i steal all my shits from fucking suburban commander it's i gotta come clean here oh no all the good shit the best shit the thing about how to get into heaven without well it's packed it's packed wall to wall the list list of Alpha Flight people, that was also a Suburban Commander.

You can just steal from the middle 20 minutes and people wouldn't even know because it's so packed. That's good. Packed. It's packed. Too much. All the great gags I had

about learning to drive manual. It's all from Suburban Commander. All from Suburban Commander. My driver is, my driving instructor, he's going to check out podcasts. He's been meaning to yeah i'm gonna check him out yeah how did he say that he can get him on his phone i don't know if he knew that oh oh he said yeah i'm gonna check out uh he said it's nice having you as a student i I'm going to check out podcasts. It's not yours specifically.

He's like, I can get them on my phone. I'm going to check out podcasts. Oh. Oh. I can get them on my phone, huh? Yeah. I'm going to check out podcasts. One guy at a time, right?

Yeah. There you go. Yeah. One person at a time. That's the game. I tried to convince him that this was the like people talk about podcasts they're talking about this yeah you know yeah i didn't i panicked and showed him my only fans when in doubt yeah you don't you do you do just solo stuff right yeah no i do some stuff with Green Arrow. Oh, yeah.

And another DC character. Your main accent is perfect, though, in it. Your main accent. Oh, what you going in there? Wow. Wow. Wow. Let's have some lobsters and scallops

here comes my sidekick Speedy green arrow sidekick is Speedy Gonzalez no Jesse it's another archery guy come on is it Elmer Fudd Speedy Gonzalez the offensive character that we put our kids in front of

and say this is okay it was actually offensive. It is actually offensive. Yeah, you can't find the real person. Those old Looney Tunes are great, but they're from a different time. It's not that the humorless person is wrong. No, the humorless person is not wrong. Everything he says is right.

He's right, yeah. He has a point. He just has a weird way of bringing it up in a way that, well, this isn't productive. What can we do about it? We're just talking here i think yelling at us and making us feel bad you know you guys know what i'm talking about he's right yeah he just doesn't know like he doesn't know that's for instagram and twitter thank you that's what twitter is for social media to be humorless yes to ask open-ended questions something else that has been happening on jordan jesse go lately is we have been discussing media consumed or presented in inappropriate

contexts uh you know the classic is you know you you think at the kid's birthday party you're putting on a vhs of back to the future too but it's actually the parents having sex with right yeah speedy yeah uh green arrow side speedy speedy would be a great third yeah real unicorn type what check out rob on the unicorn by the way cbs CBS He was a mouse The Tiffany Network He was a mouse Yeah Yeah I'd fuck him

Right in the little hat Yeah Yeah Yeah Who wouldn't You know what I mean Boyoyoying Me seeing

Speedy Gonzalez. In a Looney Tunes cartoon specifically. In that context. So, boy. Yeah, so anyway, somebody called in with that. Just something where they saw something or heard. Oh, my God. Boy-o-yoing. something where they saw something or heard. Oh, my God.

Where are you? Oh. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, Brian, Val, and guest. This is Rebecca from Missoula, Montana, calling in for your new segment, Inappropriate Media Consumed at a Too Young Age. When I was about eight, another little girl in the neighborhood had a birthday and her mom took all the little girls in the neighborhood out to eat and then to a new movie that had just come out. And I'm not sure what that mother was thinking. Maybe that

it was going to be a fun science fiction space movie like star wars or the black hole she took us all to a showing of alien so that's right a whole row of seven eight nine-year-old girls and the mother sitting through alien that movie remains the only time outside of my babyhood and toddlerhood where I pissed my pants. It was during the scene when Tom Skerritt encounters the alien in an air duct. I think I just sat there in my pee until the end of the movie and then asked to be taken home right away. Where I had nightmares for weeks. That same mother, a few years later, did a similar thing.

New mother, later. Again, it was her daughter's birthday, and she took all the little girls in the neighborhood to a shoning of Conan the Barbarian. So when I was about 11, I got to see lots of boobies on the big screen, some cannibalism, an orgy, a big snake, and Arnold Schwarzenegger having wild sex with a sorceress.

Thanks so much. Friday night at my house. Yeah. So movies are a lot worse now, right? Yeah. They're like bad in comparison, right? My kids would probably be bored by Alien. Yeah.

This week my daughter started her own horror magazine oh zine oh my god that's great it's called death diy okay it's instead of life she explained instead of life magazine it's called death oh that's funny the main content in this magazine how does she know about life magazine yeah there's life still around i keep one i keep one in the spokes of my velocipede uh-huh you know how does she know about life magazine the greatest magazine ever and yeah your kids love the saturday on post gone colliers Gone. Colliers. Colliers. So the content of the magazine so far is there's, well, there's multiple episodes at this point. Each one has a full page advertisement for how you get a subscription to the magazine. The first episode, she offers a subscription to the magazine

for the low price of one bloody knife. Yeah. This is great. She is great. Yeah. And then the main content is interviews.

The interviews are actually just transcribed conversations of her asking my wife if she's allowed to watch different movies. Oh, my God. Jeez. She's a genius. I'm going to need to get Fantagraphics on the phone.

Just her asking my wife if she can see Saw or whatever. Wow. Oh, man. Well, she can't. On Common Sense Media. Oh, God. Yeah. how old is your daughter um about she's 35 um mom i'm 35 can i somewhere around 10 watch hostile she's probably yeah wow we well that is uh my daughter and I, um, we just during the pandemic, I set up, uh, she, she, they wanted to start watching, um, horror movies. And I, I set up, uh,

Sloan's horror school and, uh, and we started going through, uh, you know, knocking down the classics. I really tried to curate it and i forget what it was something destroyed her didn't get to to alien unfortunately uh when you say that yeah when you say the classics what what does that mean okay what are we what are we talking tier one syllabus yep done yep psycho done sure halloween done then i threw in get out because i was like sure a new class yeah let's let's let's pop a modern one in here and then we did not make it to evil dead 2 because i went off syllabus and see that's what that's something no one no one should ever do blair witch project right which is i mean yeah how did that hold up in a month because that is

like you know like obviously so shocking at the time and like had the like is it real factor but like now that there's so much found footage shit is that just like the most boring nothing of a movie no it's great i don't know maybe maybe i'm just a sucker for it but uh it's i found it pretty scary i was terrified by it as a kid yeah seeing it so my daughter liked it yeah it wasn't that scary though um oh oh silence of the lamps oh yeah which isn't necessarily a horror movie, but it was like, that was my mistake because it's real life. Potential real life. Sure. You know, like it's, there's that, that's plausible.

Right. And that, I think it was like a, something, it was something's in a jar and that was it. Yeah, right. I didn't need the shirt. Body part in a jar. That was the end of um she did not uh so basically they didn't get their degree well you know their horror horrors from all the grave maybe they can go back to school and finish it later yeah

it was half thought out i found it that's good you did yeah that's a very good that's a very good syllabus um yeah i'm sure you know people online will now start peppering you what you should have put on it yeah but sorry about that right my daughter mostly wants to like bad movies um but she also is 10 so often will watch a bad movie and she'll decide that she liked it um not for ironic reasons, because she doesn't want to watch good movies. So she doesn't have a reason to understand why a bad movie is bad necessarily,

because she doesn't want to watch a good movie. It's a very complicated thing. It's all basically driven by the fact that the only man she truly admires is Elliot Kalin from The Flophouse. Sure. Mm-hmm. Yeah sure yeah i didn't i think i i think i didn't like realize that i had seen a bad movie until i was like 15 i think i just liked all i think i just

liked to watch a movie that's what i'm still i'm still kind of a sucker for a moving image yeah train coming off the screen yeah i'll i'll check right out i'm out to lunch my daughter and i watched i was so excited so my life just doesn't accommodate me watching movies i work all day and i take care of my kids all evening and then i have maybe 20 30 minutes at the end of the day so i I can't really watch a movie. You can watch a Three Stooges movie. Yeah, that's true. I can watch a one reel film.

You're right, yes. I can't watch a feature, but I'll go to the theater and watch the newsreels, Jordan, certainly in the cartoon short. A piece of a Flash Gordon adventure. Yeah. And so I am so starved for watching movies. So if I watch an entire movie, it's my favorite movie of all time, which happened last night with Encanto, which I think probably was pretty good.

I think that was a pretty good one. But I watched it and just getting to watch an entire movie meant that i thought it was the greatest movie ever made uh but i will truly watch anything that my daughter will watch with me that's not a horror movie because i don't want to watch a bad horror movie it's too much for me um and the night before uh i watched with her uh kangaroo jack hey watched all the kangaroo jack uh he stole the money he's not giving it back in norway australia uh really heavily features the guy from uh priscilla queen of the desert that's when his star was really ascendant. Not the star guy, the Australian outback prospector type guy that owns the bar in Priscilla Queen of the Desert. He does a great job just as he does in Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Probably the most famous

actor in all of Australia. I have no idea what his name is. And I watched Kangaroo Jack, and I don't know. Maybe I liked it. I don't fucking know. I don't know anymore. Fucking Jerry O'Connell's good and everything. He always does a great job, Jerry O'Connell. Should he be the star of an action comedy? I mean, it's a stretch, but he's charming.

He's a short thing. Jerry O'Connell's a short thing. Bet on o'connell and yeah double your money yeah yeah uh my i've never seen it after you know kind of in in in the window where it was like not super super weird to go to a a movie theater post-covid my first movie theater movie was the wrath of man a bank robbery movie featuring jason statham and you know one of those like nine jason statham movies that comes out every year that's a parker uh parker book right it's based on a parker oh maybe it is no yeah i didn't know that i like those robert parker books yeah they're good um and i walked out of that going like well that's the greatest movie ever made.

And I think I am just going to have that opinion. I'm going to try and not rewatch it for the rest of my life. So that when people are like, what's your top five? Well, obviously, Wrath of Man starring Jason Statham. I just like was so happy to be there and enjoyed it so much. I think I'm like, well, I've never enjoyed a movie so much as that. And I think that is now the best movie. i think i i just want to have that opinion i'm gonna like get wrath of man like merch and posters i'm gonna see if i can find like a crew jacket or something i'm all in i wanted to see dune in the theater so bad it didn't happen i wasn't able to

make it happen work so hard to try and make it happen. So the only movie I've seen since COVID started in a movie theater is Ben Harrison from Greatest Generation. And I went to a morning screening in Alhambra, California of The Green Knight at a Megaplex in Alhambra, California. And I feel the same way as you, Jordan. As far as I'm concerned, The Green Knight is the greatest film ever made. A movie where a guy wanders through underlit brown fields and it seems like he's going to have sex,

but he doesn't. Hell yeah. This was Conan. He'd be fucking. Yeah. I loved it. I'm like, I think about it all the time. I just wish that I could be watching The Green Knight in a movie theater at 11 a.m.

in Alhambra. In a movie theater. Like a 14-screen movie theater where two people are working. Rob, do you remember your first one back? Oh, yeah. I think it was Old. Older? Old.

The M. Night Shyamalan. Older's the sequel. And I had the same experience you guys did, except I fucking hated it. It was a piece of shit couldn't have been worse even my 13 year old even my 13 year old daughter who was yeah she never hated a movie was like fuck you well that's kind of beautiful the first she remembers the first time not liking a movie that's really that's kind that's kind of great. That was terrible, right guys? So yeah, I've watched it a couple of times since.

Fucking shitty. Still fucking, I bought it on Blu-ray. Shitty way to watch it. So I walk around angry. Yeah. Did you know that Kangaroo Jack had an animated sequel? No, that's interesting. My daughter told me this.

So did Old, weirdly enough. So did old. Yeah. Old Dogs actually had an animated sequel where all the actors, you know, William H. Macy and Robin Williams maybe was in that. I don't remember. Who's in Old Dogs? I'd be thinking of Wild Hogs. Oh, Wild Hogs.

Yes, yes. Who's in Old Dogs? Tim, what's his face old dogs movie old dogs is is is like wild hogs but with crime old dogs is john travolta and robin williams wait what's cold pogs that's my new line of nfts That's my new line of NFTs. Oh. God, I'm going to get so rich selling fucking Pog NFTs.

Yeah. God, Justin Bieber just spent $1.3 million for one of my Chrome Slammers. Oh, man. What are you talking about? You guys want to take a little break and organize our Slammers? We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesseesse go prepare yourself for the greatest pro wrestling podcast spectacular known as a backdropping audio showcase that helps you understand the world of pro wrestling with a lot of love and no toxic masculinity.

Featuring host, Danielle Radford. Time to kick butt and chew gum. And I'm all out of butts. Lindsay Cal. I'm a brutal Brit and my fists were made to punch and hit. And Hal Loveland. I was doing the voiceover this whole time. Hear us talk about pro wrestling's greatest triumphs and failures.

And make fun of its weekly absurdities. On the perfect wrestling podcast. Tights and fights. Every Saturday, Saturday, Saturday on Maximum Fight. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Rob Corddry, recovering reluctant alcoholic.

Congratulations. Rob, yes. Yeah, it was a long break. It was a long break. Six months. I thought about some things. During the break, we explained to Rob what a pog is. Yeah, you didn't know when we were doing random pog jokes.

Yeah, you missed pog is. Yeah. You didn't know when we were doing random pog jokes, you, uh, yeah. You missed pogs. Yeah. No, I,

I was in, uh, I was in college. Yeah. I feel like I'm not missing much either. No, you know, the basics that it's from pineapple, orange guava juice,

you know, about chrome slammers now. So that's pretty much what's important. I seriously had already forgotten pineapple orange guava have not come back and i think that there's a reason like yeah pete like cool teens now dressed like they're in seinfeld they basically embraced everything about our childhood except Pogs. Like, no, we're not doing

that. We have magic cards. They're awesome. These cool teens. I've made a half a million dollars this year on magic cards. The original NFTs, right? Hey, guys.

Rob, you have a new season of Top Gear coming at some point to Motor Trend apps everywhere. The Motor Trend app and or whatever channel they decide to throw it up on. Lawyers, when the lawyers are done with their thing. lawyers when the lawyers are done with their thing are you allowed to reveal like uh anything about like a a reno that you drove off victoria falls or whatever um it's all uh i was so scared all the time shooting that show that uh it's i'll watch a cut a cut of a new episode be like i i didn't do any of that that's i wasn't in that do you have some do you have some favorite stuff from the last season that people can look at to get excited about the new season yeah it's a um i don't know if i could pick a favorite i i i'm it's a very very good i think it's a very good show It's me Dax Shepard and

This guy named Jethro Bovingdon He's a car journalist He's a made up name that you just Made up And he's English he's from England His name's Jethro So I mean if that doesn't get you North Umbria

Jethro Jethro on the Thames that's great i enjoy those top gears i'll watch the shit out of that i uh i like that you're uh one of the funniest people who's ever hosted top gear and that you've uh never punched anyone or used a slower onset as far as i know now i would presume we we have to behave ourselves he ruined it for everybody way to go that guy yeah thanks man um well we'll all get that motor trend app i'll you know what yeah i'm deleting my car and driver app right now i mean it's a lot of money it's hundreds and hundreds of dollars okay and it's just worth it for me i mean i mean please get it watch the show but i can't i can't just make sure you're saving your money because it is

very yeah as a businessman i can't recommend a purchase like that but it is so exorbitantly expensive uh and then there's a monthly subscription on top of the one-time. What do they get for the monthly? Not a lot. Top gift. No, nothing. If somebody from MotorTread listens to, I would be, they don't get, they would not get the comedy of this. And so it's, it's costs the same as any other app, I'm supposed to say. We all know the price range you're talking about. We all subscribe to apps.

We're talking- App money. App and app and a comparable- I mean, it depends how fancy the restaurant is. But let's say a range between $6 and $12. Maybe $16 if it's a really – like if it's something with scallops and – You do an app appetizer again? Yeah.

That's all I got. It could be $5.99 a month. It could be $6.99 a month. $7.99 a month, for instance. I stole – can I admit, i could be eight that app appetizer thing from hulk hogan too oh that's what that's in suburban commando yeah yeah i feel like you didn't have to yeah you've seen you could have gotten away with that suburban commando you know robin you could have gotten away with that uh okay our, our producer on Jordan, Jesse Go, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez.

On the stream this evening, Valerie Moffitt. We are theme music by The Free Design. Love You is our theme song. You can find it on their album. Kites Are Fun, the best of The Free Design. You can find us on social media. We're on fun. The best of the free design. You can find us on social media. We're on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris at Jesse Thorne. We're on Instagram.

We're on Reddit at maximum fun dot Reddit dot com. And look, tell your friends about the show. This is the perfect episode to share because this episode, a lot of our episodes are just a bunch of fucking spiraling nonsense. Just like we start with something stupid and it just gets more and more abstruse. You know, it just kind of goes into, it's like a madness that enters. Like if you got a fungus in your brain, at first you're just like, why do I have a headache? And then all of a sudden you can't walk anymore. And then pretty soon you're, you know, you're serving an alien master.

It's basically like that in some episodes. This episode was straightforward. Anybody could enjoy this. This was like, this is us. Yeah. Yeah. All the shows I've done in this show yeah so many times and they've all the other though those episodes have been complete horse shit but this this one i feel like

we this would be a good way to share with we figured it out we didn't get anywhere but that's okay if you're taking that was yeah if you're taking a driving lesson my recommendation is tell your driver check out podcasts start there if he comes back to you later let him know this is the one to check out right it's that easy yeah so easy yeah yeah so easy to fall in love it is so easy to just share yeah god damn it so easy course, he died in a plane crash. Yeah. He's in heaven right now wondering how we got there

since we're not even dead. Right. Okay, we'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, Go. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.