Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 726: Dorf Does Dallas with Sam Riegel

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

Sam Riegel (Critical Role, The Legend of Vox Machina) joins Jordan and Jesse to talk about writing songs for his new show, what it was like going to high school with other professional actors and musicians, and touring the country in Les Mis as a kid.Watch the new animated Critical Role show The Legend of Vox Machina  featuring Sam (and Sam's songs!) on Amazon Prime!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. Oh, it's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. How you doing, buddy? Um, I'm doing good, I'm just, you know, working on my day moves. Oh really? So did you wrap up the night moves? Here's the thing, you're a Bob Seger fan, right, Jesse? God, Jordan, if anyone listening knows one thing about me, it's how much

I love Bob Seger, who I think is a rock and roll guy. And of course, the Silver Bullet Band. Yeah, sure. The band made famous by Burt Reynolds and his famous beer run in the movie Smokey and the Bandit. Yeah. So, you know, like, obviously, you know, we're all familiar with Night Moves. Right. Does the Silver Bullet Band, you know what the Silver Bullet Band's Night Move is? Hmm. Shooting a goddamn werewolf.

On certain, one night a month. So, you know, like, Bob seger obviously sings about night moves and you know i don't know how closely you've listened to that song i mean i'm really familiar with it i think i've made that clear yeah you know it's about intra course i'm sorry you know jordan you know excuse me george sorry i couldn't i can't help but i can't help but notice you're describing i can't help but notice that you're describing the content of the song Night Moves by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band. What is that song about? It's about interquats.

Go ahead. Which is how I sing. By the way. Interquats. By the way, I couldn't be more excited about the next Winter Olympics in Interquas. Yes. Incredible venue. Yeah, beautiful.

Switzerland's beautiful. It's gorgeous. Interquas. Yeah. So, you know, it's about, you know, obviously like making love, but also, you know, like drinking, dancing, wine, cheese, fireworks. Right. And, you know, like all fireworks, all the...

And that's all well and good. And I've worked on my night moves and my night moves are fine, but I feel like I've been neglecting my day moves. Do you have a coach or a mentor? No, I mean, I just go on YouTube and I search how to night moves. Got it.

It's also what I do when I need to change a tire or replace the battery in my key fob. Makes sense. Just go to YouTube. So, you know, I've been working on my night moves, and I feel like they've been pretty good. I mean, they're not perfect. My night moves aren't perfect. I'm not, you know, I'm not about to go pro, but I mean, the night moves are fine.

Everybody knows that you've got perfectly good night moves. At least anybody who's been down to that swimming hole. Sure, yeah. For our guest that came up on a previous show, a guest had a dream about me at a swimming hole and I had a big dick. Anyway, sometimes there's truth in dreams, Socrates said.

So yeah, my night moves have been fine. In the movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Go ahead. My night moves have been fine, but I mean, what about my day moves? I've been neglecting them. So, you know, just these past couple of days I've been working on my day moves. So we're talking like it's a little less about the intercourse and more about like going to Target, going to the bank, getting a quick but healthy lunch at Panera.

Right. You know, day moves. Yeah. Formerly known as the St. Louis Bread Company. Really? Yeah. Are St. Louis known for their bread? No.

I think that's why they changed it to Panera. Yeah, sure. What does Panera mean? Honestly. Like bread in Latin or something? Yeah. Anyway. So, you know, just working on some day moves over here.

How are your day moves? My day moves are pretty good. I mean, I have go to the flea market. Yeah. Great day move. It's really great. That's one of the best day moves for talking to an autodidact. You want to talk to somebody who sees the world their own way and has learned about it their own way, not through the traditional educational system. Sure. I've got, well, I mean, I brought some goodie bags to my neighbor. Okay. That's a good day move.

What was in the bag? Some stuff I bought at the Daiso, the Japanese dollar store. Hey, that's a great place for getting some little gifts for somebody. God, I fucking love that Japanese dollar store. Oh my God, do I love that fucking place great place great place that's what me and a guy in an anime t-shirt have most in common i once got a coffee mug there that says sip sip yummy on it awesome yeah rules sip sip yummy so yeah i mean maybe like we can work on some afternoon moves later.

Yeah. That would be great. Talking about herbal tea? I was going to say, watch Die Hard on TBS. Yeah, sure. Let's introduce our guest on the program. Find out about his moves. He's a Jordan Jesse Goh legend. Probably best known as Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney.

I just like bringing up that credit. You're the only person who brings it up. Ever since Lindsay Pavlis, our former colleague, told me about Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney, the lawyer simulator game starring Sam Riegel, I've been fixated on the fact that

Sam played that character. He, of course, is also from the monstrously popular podcast and video series Critical Role and its attendant television program, The Legend of Vox Machina. Sam Riegel. Hi, Sam. Hey, it's Jordan and Jesse and the Go's. And the Goettes. That's what I assume you guys are called.

It's so great to be back. How are your moves day, night, afternoon? You know, they've been rusty lately and repetitive. I feel like I'm in a day move rut. There's just a lot of sweatpants and a lot of day laundry. I do laundry during the day because I'm home all the time. Good day move, though. Can I tell you a big change in my life recently, Sam?

Yeah, what's up? I'll do a small load of laundry. I don't give a fuck. I'm around. You don't fill it to the brim like every reasonable human being? No, I got a medium-sized pile. I'll toss it in there. And you know what?

It lightens the burden. I used to feel like I had to fill it as much as possible you're a monster but that i there's a setting on it that says like small load or something right or or have i i've never touched that setting and i don't believe that most people have you've never seen me down at the swimming pool i haven't a small load tattooed above my pubic bone. I found that it lightens the anxiety of folding and putting away the laundry afterwards. Because it's just a quick, just a quick, you know, like a three stooges kind of deal, I guess. Tell me this, because I've never used that feature. Does it take the same amount of time?

Yeah. Does the cycle cycle the same amount of time yeah does the cycle cycle smooth and easy it's high efficiency baby oh wow he can i get in here and break this tie thanks jordan yeah jesse i am with you a hundred what i am with you i love a small load i have not had i only recently became a man who has an in-unit washer dryer. I'm doing little teeny loads all throughout the week. That would cause me so much stress. There's leftover space that you could fill. That would drive me crazy with anxiety. What you understand, Sam, what you need to understand is Jordan and I are home alone a lot, and we're just getting wet bandits

getting some small loads out you know and i it's exactly what you say jesse it's a little like hey you know i'm around for a little bit i i can kind of like i'm doing a task that i can kind of half pay attention to might as well throw in some kind of key things i know i'm gonna need and then you know, that that prevents you from, you know, like killing a sundae just on laundry. Right. Yeah. That's that's as crazy to me as like, you know, the little the bit of honey that's at the bottom of the honey bear towards the towards the end of its life. And it kind of gets a little hard and hard to get out. And you got it. I scoop it out with a knife i get that butter knife

in there i get that last little bit of of bear honey honey but it seems like you guys would just throw it away just what are you doing with all your phoenix right ace attorney money just get yourself a new bear buddy it's not that i'm cheap i just can't sam let me put it this way objection your honor get yourself a new bear i can't i just can't. Sam, let me put it this way. Objection, your honor. Get yourself a new bear. I can't. I just can't. Yeah, no.

Space is on your mind. Yeah. And I appreciate that. I mean, the way we're doing it is probably bad for the environment. It's probably... But yeah, it's one of those things where I'm just fine saying fuck it to the environment for this one now one case and a few other cases i don't i don't mean to throw my friend jordan under the bus okay but i'm doing it high efficiency so i'm fine i'm he so it's fine got it it's great it's fine sam i was watching your great new television program legend of vox machina the Legend of Vox Machina.

The Legend of Vox Machina, available now on Amazon Prime. That's the exact one. That's the exact one I was watching. I was watching Reacher, but go ahead, Jordan. How dare you? How very dare you? Jesse, it's so much better than Reacher. It's so much better than Reacher. I don't know.

It's better than Bosh. Reacher makes this face. Reacher makes this face, and you're like, what does this face mean? He's like sort of smiling a little bit. He's so huge. What is he? I don't know what it means. Is he a big, beefy dude?

You guys go watch Reacher and then look at this little face he makes. And you're like, what is this? Is he like stoked? After you're finished with the legend of Spock. Of course. He's like looking for something else to watch on. And also get PBS Living because they have Craft in America, which is a wonderful show. I was, and there is a scene in the first episode where your character does a lot of singing.

Yes. But then there's such a beautiful song in it. And I was blown away by your singing voice and was wondering about your training like are you i was like i guess i've known sam for a while but i didn't know that like i didn't know he could i didn't know he had the pipes well let me just tell you i co-wrote all the music in this show and really it's great it fucking rules thanks Yeah. I have been singing my whole life. I grew up doing musical theater as a kid. I did my first professional play was I was in Pippin. Of this anecdote, please, sir, may I have some more?

In a dinner theater production at the Lazy Susan Dinner Theater in Woodbridge, Virginia. Wow. Oh, my God. Making $10 a show. And we had to perform while people would eat. And I could hear the spoons and forks clattering while I was trying to perform. And in many, many performances, because they were all old people,

someone would faint or pass out or die. From the exertion of eating linguine? I don't think the AC was very good there and they were heating up. Anyway, I've been singing a long time and I did college a cappella. No, wait, what was your group's punny name? It won't make sense.

It doesn't make sense. Was it like an inside joke with the college? Yes, I went to the University of Virginia, which was founded by Thomas Jefferson It won't make sense. It doesn't make sense. Was it like an inside joke with the college? Yes. I went to the University of Virginia, which was founded by Thomas Jefferson, and he called it his great academical village. So we were the academical village people. It's a long walk for a very not listen i it's dorky but i imagine there are 20 listeners who have dorkier acapella group names than that give us a call 206-9844-FUN what was your dorky acapella group name i also i i want to say this our audience can't see sam but sam on his face

right now has a smile that i would describe as, and in fact, I think the only way to describe it would be both profoundly ashamed and profoundly shameless. Both of those simultaneously about the acapella group. That is an excellent observation and description description because yes, both of those things hold true. It was, it was some of the best time of my life. I believe it. I met my wife doing acapella. She was in the girls group.

I was in the boys group. Yep. Uh, I met a dude from my acapella group. Peter Habib is my co-writer on all the music on Legend of Vox Machina. And he married my wife's sister, so now we are brothers-in-law, from acapella brothers to actual brothers-in-law. This is the most sex anyone has ever had because of acapella. It's condensed into this one anecdote.

And this is, listen, this is said lovingly from two idiots who did improv. Yep, yep. We didn't just do improv we were the guys that put up flyers for improv that's right we went to all the bus stops with a staple gun yeah oh man had to buy a staple gun sam what did you close with yeah uh my big number in the acapella group was living on a prayer by john bon jovi and it was a big closer uh it was a as we used to call it uh back then a panty peeler we don't we would not we would not say that now obviously because you're married now yeah yeah and yes yeah but it was a different list people were peeling off panties left and right

hurling the a cappella group panties were a lot. Yes. Hurling the acapella groups. Panties were a lot stickier in the 90s. We should explain. Sure. It's true. What was your high school theater starring role? Okay. So I went to the professional children's school in New York City.

Oh. And I went to a school with very talented- The Boss Baby? The most professional child of all. The boss baby, sure. Yeah, he was in there. No, in my biology class was Tara Reid. Whoa.

So I went to school with Sarah Geller, Sarah Michelle Geller now, but Sarah Geller at the time. Macaulay Culkin was in my school. Lots of, some of the Cosby kids. Whoa, the most, yeah, all sorts of professions. But then also- So your like plays that you did were probably like fucking, like they were probably like a, you know, probably these are next level high school plays, I would guess.

You would think, but no, because all the actors at the school didn't want to do lowly school plays, I would guess. You would think, but no, because all the actors at the school didn't want to do lowly school plays. So the school was about a third actors, a third ballet dancers, and a third virtuoso musicians, like incredible violinists and pianists. But the actors didn't want to do the plays at the school because that was beneath us. And the dancers didn't want to do the plays at the school because, well, they were stuck up and they didn't have time. So it was all the musicians who did the plays. Oh, interesting.

And they were terrible. That's great. They are not actors. I'm glad to know someone else because I went to art school. Someone else knows about 17-year-old dancers. art school, someone else knows about 17-year-old dancers. Mostly what they like to do is smoke cigarettes and be contemptuous of others. Yes, absolutely. I went to prom with one. Yeah. Regular cigarettes or cloves? Regular cigarettes, 100% regular cigarettes. Are cloves legal anymore? I don't believe they exist. Do they?

That's a great question. I don't know whether the clove. I mean, I would guess that maybe today's sullent teen is more interested in, you know, jewels. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe they've just been kind of replaced, you know, in the culture. But I don't know. Yeah, maybe. I don't know if cloves are outlawed or if it's.

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I've had to use regular cigarettes to mull my wine, so. Right. Is there a, like, is there, like, a big musical theater role that you've, like, always wanted to play? Is there, like, maybe you haven't gotten to do that there's, like, is there, like, a dream role that you would want to do at some point? Well, so, boy, I mean, sure. But I guess the most disappointment I had was, so I was in Les Miserables as a kid.

I played Young Gavroche on the national tour. Oh, whoa. I did it for a year and a half. It was probably the peak of my whole life. I was 12 years old. And it's been downhill from there. But then as an adult, as as a grown man i went and re-auditioned i auditioned for les mis to be in les mis on broadway and i was terrible i i didn't

even get a call back and i was so down on myself because this is a show i had already been in before and now i couldn't even get to the second round of it anymore as a grown-up do you think about just like auditioning for the same child part but doing it on your knees, Dorf style? Like putting shoes on the ground and kneeling on them, Dorf style? I saw the most incredible all-Dorf production of Company. It was just extreme. You have not heard those lyrics until you've heard them with shoes on knees.

Was the conceit of the Dorff home videos, because they were home videos. They were home videos starring Tim Conway. We're getting to the bottom of what we know about Dorff. We talk about Dorff a lot on this show. The conceit was simply that he was short is that is that it i think that was that well yeah easily hurt too i believe oh i think he got kind of like knocked around like a like a hemophiliac like he bruised right yes particularly short hemophiliac yeah particularly florid yeah particularly florid but would you say is Les Miserables is that your dream or are you like I want to I'm Sweeney Todd or nothing I mean Les Mis is my favorite show of

all times just so it's so it's just where you smoked your first glove yeah there's a lot of a lot of momentous moments in my life while while Les Mis. I got to see America. We went to 26 different cities on the tour. And I befriended one of the dudes on the crew who would take me around to amusement parks and comic book shops in every single city we went to. every single city we went to. And we spent a lot of time together. In fact, probably, I don't know, probably parents would have questioned how much time we spent together. Me and this 40-year-old dude. But he was great.

And I got a comic book collection out of it. And I saw the world. Do you still have those Les Mis comic books stashed somewhere? I do. What's in there? What's in the box i got them i just got them uh what do you call it the bricked or bagged and boarded okay yeah uh some of them i got a fantastic four number one whoa but it's in the worst condition the whole half of the cover

is ripped off so sam i think that you speaking of les mis comic books i think you're in a unique cultural position to kickstart a comic book based on les mis let's do this yeah in what style though like would it be a like a grittier well they can't get much grittier than my first thought is asterix and obelix oh sure sure yeah right it's a frank miller type thing where everything's you know where you play that into the valjana verse where we oh there's multiple multiple valjans uh one stole a loaf of bread and one is a pig who stole a loaf of bread yes exactly one's like an anime character who stole a loaf of bread, a cowboy who stole a loaf of bread. Every possible Valjean from across the multiverse.

I could see a Watchmen type thing where just one of the characters is really meditating on the nature of superpowers and humanity in the castle on a cloud. Right. I like it. I like to go there when I sleep. Who doesn't?

Yeah. I was, it's funny, talking about college, I was having a, I was having a college-based memory that involved you, Jesse. Did you go to college together?

We did, yeah. Jesse was my RA. That's true. I did not know that. Jordan was the co-host of my college radio show. I'm sure you've talked about this a hundred times on the show, but was my RA. That's true. I did not know that. Jordan was the co-host of my college radio show. I'm sure you've talked about this a hundred times on the show, but was he a good RA? He was the best. He was the best.

If somebody was smoking a bowl or playing a hand drum, Jesse would press their face into the side of the building. Fucking hate perps. Yeah, he hates perps jesse was a total narc uh no jesse was a great ra he planned he planned activities for us he was very chill i think our you know our hall in college was the performing arts hall so like i think there was less like hard partying and more just intense vibes yeah sure just a lot of like a lot of loud rent sing-alongs oh wow if that paints a picture for sure it does sure it does and one guy who was constantly knocking on my door for large size condoms yeah and if i was out of the large ones

who would just get sad and leave? Sorry, man. I couldn't go down to the swimming hole. Unless I had my... Was that part of your RA responsibility? You had to stock condoms? Yeah. You had to pass out condoms. I don't remember that from my RA in college.

The thing is, is if you attach... Some people would just put them in a basket on their door or something like that. So they wouldn't have to know who was doing it right but uh the problem is that then just someone would take them all for sex right or just like to hoard yeah for the possibility of sex not all these people were in acapella groups so they weren't all it's true's true. If your RA doesn't have condoms, go find a guy in an acapella group. He's got them. What was, they hate, they hate conception. Oh yeah.

Acapella groups do it raw is what they do. With the bumper sticker. No instruments, no rubbers. bumper sticker i've seen no instruments no rubble i like sam that you knew not to pronounce the r at the end of the world just let that vowel float let that carry the note sam that's right jordan what was the college memory yeah i was remembering do you so there was a near our campus there was a like strip mall chinese food place where we would go with like the dudes and we would get i think we called i don't know if this was what it was called or we just called it that but it's called chinese banquet and it was a thing where like everybody you know you pay 15 bucks and then yeah and it was the more people you brought the more

dishes you got or something like that, right? Right, yeah. So if you could rally a group of 10 people to come to this thing, you would get to just try everything on the menu. And sometimes they would bring out bonus stuff. Sometimes you're like, oh, they would just bring out a sweet and sour pork you didn't order, and then you were fucking thrilled. For a college kid kid that's amazing this was our first taste of eating at a restaurant in brooklyn and uh being podcasters that someone who works there listens to their podcast sure yeah how about a free appetizer they would say yeah oh god that's the main good thing about being a podcaster by the way

yeah once in a while you get a free appetizer in Brooklyn. That's the big perk. Yeah. I love it. But, I mean, appetizers in Brooklyn are pretty expensive. For sure. Yeah. You're saving literally $17,000 a year.

If you're going to get some appetizers, go to Brooklyn. Those are going to be great. It's not just going to be, you know, roasted Brussels sprouts. That's 15 years ago. They got new shit. They haven't

done that for years yeah yeah they're roasting uh nickels yeah with a nice balsamic reduction chili crisp you know one of the one of the great sadnesses of being someone who lives alone is the like you cannot there's certain cuisines you can't enjoy in that way you know like ordering a bunch of indian food doesn't really't enjoy in that way you know like ordering a bunch of indian food doesn't really make sense for one person you know like and just like ordering one dish is fine but it's not like how you want to eat and you're like jordan you're a pretty legendary solo diner you're my solo dining hero thank you you introduced me to the solo fans which is where you go you're in an unusual town

you go to a fancy restaurant and eat there by yourself while you read a book wow you can do that that's why i love it yeah it's far you bring a great sam it's so awesome i did it in copenhagen i did it at a three michelin star restaurant in copenhagen like! Like, I don't drink, so the fanciest meal that I can buy is like $100. But, like, I did that. I went to a restaurant where one person's food costs $100 if they're not drinking, fucking sat there

and read a James Baldwin book or something. It was great. Wow, that sounds just amazing. But you maybe, like, just the thought of that, that's something you wouldn't normally do, Sam? No, much like the half load of laundry, it just seems incomplete.

Yeah, if you're going to go in, you got to have a second or else you're wasting the bread appetizer and they're not going to bring you just like a half portion of butter. They're going to give you the whole thing of butter for your bread and you're going to waste half of it. I can't eat a whole thing. It makes sense, Jordan. It's incomplete. It's like having an acapella group without a white guy beatboxing. I did. I did beatbox. So, you know, there's been just these this other kind of memory of like my first couple years in la like there being these like thai restaurants that would stay open till 3 a.m and you could just and they would just serve

alcohol past you know you could just like sit at that thai restaurant and eat all sorts of stuff and drink till 3 a.m and that being just a really nice memory of like my first couple years in la and then i was like thinking about that Chinese banquet and how I like haven't I haven't gotten that eating experience in a long time they're just like a bunch of people a bunch of dishes plopping a bunch of stuff on the plate anyway I don't have like a hilarious end to this but it was just it was just a really I don't know I was having I was wistfully thinking about eating a lot of Chinese food can I suggest somethingordan yeah because i think you have what it takes for this okay i think you've got the heart i think you should go to a nice indian restaurant okay

i think i'm with you here indian food's the way to go for this right a nice indian restaurant just jordan and a book okay what's a book you've been reading maybe a novel you've checked out recently yeah um rabbit run by john updyke yeah yeah i was gonna say atlas shrugged but that was shrugged grab my dog-eared copy of atlas shrugged yeah i carry with me of course since high school defining book's a defining book. Yeah, I mean, it's my Bible. It's my Bible. I love Atlas Shrugged so much, Jordan,

that I have a dog-eared copy of the DVD. Wow. Don't fold the TV. How do you watch it? So, Jordan, you take your copy. Who is John Galt? You take your copy of Rabbit Run by john updike right so novel about a guy being a dick i read like half of that i was like this guy's just a fucking dick is that what the moral of his story is that was all novels that was all novels until 1996. That's true. I know. That was what a novel was.

That's why we all read Beloved in high school. It's like people are like, oh, it's just everyone has the same multicultural. It's because that was the only one that had yet been written about a different subject. Right. Besides a guy being a dick and you're supposed to like him or something. Identify with him anyway. So you got your copy of Rabbit Run beautifully written. Really can craft a sentence, John Updike.

You sit down at that Indian restaurant. I don't feel like he's going to be ordering the tikka masala. That seems too plain, too ordinary. That's where you're wrong. Sam, I hate to correct you, but this is my scenario. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. Sorry to jump in. How dare you? On this fantasy made up scenario for your co-host.

The first. Well, look, there's truth and there's lies. Okay. Yeah. Sam. Wow. Okay. PolitiFact says pants on fire for Sam Rie okay first of all you order yourself the chicken tikka masala okay because you know what sam says i shouldn't this is this is the national dish of britain for a reason it's the cheeseburger of england because it's as good as a cheeseburger fucking chicken tikka masala is a great dish don't let the fact that it's quote unquote

inauthentic keep you from ordering it then order 15 other things just you and 16 dishes sitting down at that fucking table and when that when that fucking waiter looks at you and says, so you said the... And then lists all those fucking curries. All those different curries and samosas and pakoras. All the different items. The paneer. You order two different lassis.

I want you to order a salty lassi and a sweet lassi. Not just a mango lassi. Right. Get a salty lassi and a sweet lassi. Not just a mango lassi. Right. Get a plain lassi. You order 16 different things. The waiter lists them back to you quietly and credulous. You just say, exactly.

Thank you. Then you crack that spine. And you find out why Rabbit's cheating on his wife. I don't leave until the book's done or the food's gone. Yeah. Wow. That's beautiful. I'm going to do it.

You don't have to order. You don't have to eat it all. Yeah, man. You don't have to go boxers. Look, I'm not trying to burst your bubble physically. I'm just suggesting you have it all out in front of you. And this isn't, look,

this is a nice restaurant, but this is a $250 project. You have $250. I can get it. I can get it by the end of the week. I can get it by the end of the week. Jordan, if you don't have it now... Give me a couple more days. Yes, I can get it. Jordan, I can get it by the end of the week. I can get it by the end of the week. Just Jordan. Yeah. Give me a couple more days. Yes, I can get it.

Jordan, if you don't have it now, just go down to the swimming pool after dark, okay? Yeah. I'll put something up on Craigslist. You'll have it quick fast. Cool. Just you have it all. You can make little corners on your plate. You can have them bring you new plates.

Because you're spending $250 plus tip, and I want you to tip generously. Sure. Have them bring you new plates as necessary. They'll be glad to do it. They don't want you mixing up too many curries. So may I ask something? Does this sound like indulgent over the top to you? Like too much make you uncomfortable? Or is this just like that sounds like self-care?

Like that sounds like a good day for myself to just be me and be happy in my own skin for a day. Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, I think I could consider it as right as that as as you know just an extreme form of self care these are extreme times so yes I mean we should care for ourselves not since the late 1990s if things been so extreme so moist

it's the moistest of times the extremist of times it's from Atlas Shrugged it's the famous opening opening lines of atlas shrugged yeah but i think mainly what i'm worried about is the trip to the bathroom well you're eating a medium okay can i add a can i add a little wrinkle to this sure okay so you've ordered 16 items plus the tikka masala. Right.

You've got two lassis and you're going to want to go ahead and order some of those Indian desserts that, let's be honest, mostly make sense to Indian people. Make perfect sense to them. To me, too many raisins. I don't know what it is. But you order all these things. All these things. Eat a normal, I mean, you can eat a generous meal, but eat a normal amount of food.

Just a little dollop of each. Tip generously. Leave. You're feeling like a king. You make a normal BM at home. Okay. Don't tell me what to do. Okay. Next week. Let's say you do this on thursday night i think there's a good thursday night activity sure yeah you're not gonna want to mess up anybody's

date night you know thursday night activity next thursday night you go back okay this is a way to recognize you all the waiters recognize you This is the guy who ordered 16 different dishes plus the tikka masala, four nans, garlic nan, plain nan, cheese nan. Nan blondes, four nan blondes. They know you. You're distinctive looking. Sure. Maybe they've seen you down at the swimming pool. I're distinctive looking. Sure. Maybe they've seen you down at the swimming hole. I don't know.

Yeah. He wore that silly hat. Oh, yes. I am. Right. Yeah. I'm wearing the Mickey ears that I got at Disneyland in 1987 with my name embroidered on them.

One of those tiny top hats that goes askew on your head, just a tiny, like a four-inch diameter. Jordan, you go there, you eat all the food. Next Thursday night, you go back. Everybody sees you. Their eyes light up. Here's the guy, right? The waiter comes over.

He asks you what you want. You ask, is it okay to order a lunch special for dinner right love it yeah can i get the lunch special for dinner do you have any wraps that's that's how you that's how you can kind of do that you can kind of get more than one thing with that one special yeah sam what's your favorite group eat cuisine if you've got 10 fucking people where are you going? Korean barbecue, I think. Yeah. Just because it's interactive.

It's good. And I don't know, maybe I'm just not a connoisseur or don't know enough to know, but I don't think I've ever had a bad Korean barbecue. Like even the bad ones seem good, right? I think that's a really fair point. I think Korean barbecue, look,

there's great Korean barbecue. You know, there's places's great korean barbecue you know there's there's places where you're just like i can't believe i'm eating food this good yeah sure but the like in topeka in a strip mall there's a korean barbecue place that we could all go to right now and we'd have a perfectly good meal we'd be we have no complaints about it. Also, it presents possibilities, right? So at least in the major cities, we go to Korean barbecue. Usually there's also maybe a Korean karaoke place nearby or the private room karaoke places. So if the night goes great, people want to keep it going.

You can just have your normal BM and then go down to the karaoke place. You can just have your normal BM and then go down to the karaoke place. You know what I like about being at the Korean barbecue and having a big group of people? Is if it's just you and one other person or two other people, you know, you're getting like pork belly and bulgogi or something. Right. These are classics. These are the chicken tikka masalas of the Korean barbecue. And they're classics for a reason.

Nobody is, bulgogi is great. That's why it's so popular. But if there's eight people there, somebody orders the bulgogi, somebody orders the pork belly, somebody orders, you know what I mean? That's it. Yeah. And then you just go, all right, give me the squids. Yeah. You know? Sure.

You just pick some shit. Mm- some shit yeah you there's no pressure on you the bulgogi is ordered you can pick any goddamn thing on that menu and i say do it and then you head across the street and everybody starts singing do you hear the people sing. Yeah. Brings the fucking karaoke house down. The karaoke. Singing a song. The libraries are loaded with Les Mis songs. You know that, Sam. You can always count them.

Sam goes over there. Sam's over there. Bring them home. You got. I have a castle on a cloud. Yep. They got it in English. They got it in Korean.

They got it. Just playing it over a video of somebody riding a motorcycle. Yep, absolutely. As it was intended by Victor Hugo. You guys want to take a little break so I can make a normal PM? We'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorn america's radio sweetheart and i am jordan morris boy detective i mean at this point if you don't that Maximum Fun is brought to you by the members of Maximum Fun, let's get your act together. This is a membership organization, Jordan.

We rely on these members. We're grateful for all of them. We need them. Oh, God, we need them. Like a vampire needs blood. Give us your sweet, sweet blood at MaximumFun.org slash join. We're also this week supported by the folks at stitch fix now jordan when a problem comes along what do we do you must stitch it yeah that's correct the great mark mother's

bar once said as the great of stitch fix mark brother's bra of stitch fix you know jordan it's hard picking out clothes. Yeah. You know, even for me, look, I'm a professional menswear expert, but even for me, sometimes it's hard to pick out clothes. What if you had a personal stylist to pick out stuff that's going to fit you and fits exactly the kind of fits you like to rock? Yeah, that's what Stitch Fix does. It's a really great service. We use it. We love it. Whether you need refined workwear or casual basics, Stitch Fix can help elevate your look.

Here's what you do. You schedule a Stitch Fix. You got a style expert. You take a fun quiz. You send them the kind of stuff you like. You send them your sizes, various situations you might be in and close those situations might require. Locked in a reefer room. For instance.

Yeah. The sizes, your price range, and then they send you this great box of stuff, and you try it on. If you like it, you keep it. If not, you send it right back. And there's another great feature called Stitch Fix Freestyle, which I've used a couple times recently. That's kind of between those boxes they send you.

If you just need, you know, you need a shirt, you need a new pair of jeaners, you go on there and that personal style store is up there for you. You can just buy a couple of pieces. And again, if you don't like it, very easy to send back. So to get started, take a style quiz so Stitch Fix can learn your preferences from your favorite colors to preferred fits and price ranges. Get started today by filling out your free style quiz at stitchfix.com slash JJ go and get free shipping and returns. That's stitchfix.com slash JJ go. This podcast is sponsored also by BetterHelp Online Therapy.

You know, we talk about BetterHelp a lot on this show. This month, we're discussing some of the stigmas around mental health. Now, Jordan, I went through some really heinous mental health-related stuff over the past few years, And I was grateful that I had a therapist during that time. I was also, Jordan, grateful that I had a therapist before that, so that when something like that came up, I was both forearmed with strategies for managing my own mental health and already in a relationship with someone I trusted when I really needed heavy duty, serious help. Therapy isn't just for when you're in a crisis. It is also great to build your capacity in case a crisis comes along and to build a relationship that

can help you in a crisis and frankly, just help you with your everyday day-to-day bullshit. frankly just help you with your everyday day-to-day bullshit we all have to deal with that yeah it's out there and and better help could be a great option for you if you want some virtual online therapy lots of ways to get therapy jordan go to your community clinic go to a local practitioner a lot of folks get hung up on those things and better help is a very easy way to get them you can even do text chat or audio chat with your therapist where you don't even have to turn that camera on. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Jordan Jesse Go listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash jjgo. That's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l- p dot com slash jj go

it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective and i'm sam regal i'm a tall glass of water. Yes. No doubt about it. Did I talk before on the show? I'm 6'5", 7'.

Glasses of water. Subjective. I'm 6 feet tall. Really? I'm 5'9". Yes. But I always play short characters on my podcasty thing. Well, you know how to make money.

The money's in Dorphin, baby. I Dorph. You're an audio Dorpher. I'm an audio Dorpher. I'm an audio Dorpher. So when people meet me at IRL, they're always astounded with how tall I am because I only play gnomes and things.

You know how, Jordan, I produced that show with Pee Wee Herman? I do. Wait, what? You know how I got that show? You know how I got that job as that producer? Right before he died, I had booked a producer job. I had pitched Tim Conway on a Dorf cast. Right.

Oh, man. He passed away, but he shared a management with Paul Rubin's Pee Wee Herman, and that's how I ended up. Wow. Famous. Because Paul had said, get me the Dorf guy. Right. That's you.

Yeah. That was me at the time. They should do a gritty reboot of Dorf. Yeah. Yeah. Did I... I have a question. Did I talk on the podcast the last time that I was on steroids?

Frank Miller's Dorf. Yes. This town needs a change. A very small change. This town needs something different. Golf bloopers. Pretty soon I'm not going to be the only one who's down on my knees. It's going to be you begging for mercy.

And you. Put your knees in little shoes. And make it look like I'm falling off a speedboat. Did I talk about the last time that I was on steroids? Did I talk about it on Jordan Jessica? I'm fucking juiced up on roids right now. I just want you guys to know that. I don't look.

It's not a whole bit. It's just the reality is that I'm juiced up on roids right now. Are you trying to buff up? Well, I've been Peloton-ing since I got my own TV show. Well, this is a thing. This is a treatment for migraine headaches. When you get in what they call medication overuse or, uh,

basically there gets to be a point where if you take your medication too much, you get a headache for not having taken your medication. So you have to do something to break that cycle. And, uh, they give you steroids. And,

uh, the thing that breaks the cycle is competitive weightlifting. I, yes. And, uh, I got, uh, this is why there are no migraines in East Germany, Sam. I got in a disagreement with my wife, which is a very rare situation that I get in a disagreement. She and I – Sam, she and I have been together since we did acapella in high school. Sure.

And I beatboxed. And i was the sixth pentatonic oh yeah they were hexatonics for a while no they were called pentatonics and that's why one of us had to go oh yeah it is a better name so i my wife and i got in a disagreement and I stalked downstairs, upper level, stalked downstairs and went into the bathroom because I had to pee. And I tried to lift the toilet seat, but the toilet seat was incorrectly installed. And I forgot that it was incorrectly installed. So it was a little too far back towards the tank. So it would always fall down.

You couldn't get it to go in the negative angle you need for it to stay put. Sure. And it was constantly falling down. And we had put it in maybe a few weeks before. It was always falling down. I forgot when I went in there to pee. And I already was unzipped and so forth. And I was mad.

I was really steaming mad. But I was mad. Like I was really steaming mad. But I was stuck. I couldn't pee and hold up the thing while I was mad because it just wasn't going to do it. And I was on steroids. So I ripped the toilet seat off. Holy shit. Wow. Does it give you strength?

I don't know. It really happened. I don't know what It really happened. I don't know what. Is being on steroids the same as when your child is pinned under a car? Is that? It's possible. Now that I think about it, it's possible that he didn't say prednisone. He said PCP.

You got to pay attention when you're at the doctor. I ripped it off Like screws went flying Did you tell your wife immediately Or just leave it for her to find I left it there As a warning Sort of like you put the tigers

Entrails out at the edge of the village so the other tigers know not to... Is that how you keep tigers away from your village? I don't know. I've never... My whole family was killed by tigers. We have no idea. If you figure it out, let me know. It's really trial and error.

Yeah. That didn't work. Some of us were killed by tigers. Honestly, I had this problem. My dad got killed by a tiger. So we put the,

but we took care of the tiger. We put the entrails out around the edge and we're like, we are not going to let, I'm never going to let my mom get killed

by a tiger. Sure. And it worked. But she did get killed by a serval. Oh, no. It did one of its famous long jumps yeah beautiful did a long beautiful cats amazing gorgeous beasts incredible incredible strength anyway jordan sam yes we've been talking on the program recently about media proffered in inappropriate contexts the classic example being my wife going to an eighth birthday party and seeing the shining it might have been a ninth

birthday party now that i think about it it was an under 10 birthday party they were showing it to the children or this yes to the children yes i mean it's mean, it's a masterpiece of cinema. And Brian has informed us. Yeah, didn't those kids know that? They're like, oh, we wanted to see Full Metal Jacket. Brian has informed us that we have a call about this that involves the Unitarian Universalist Church. So I don't know what could be inappropriate in that church where basically anything goes, as I understand it.

Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. Can you pause this, Brian? Sorry. Did you guys hear the long, sad intake of breath? Yes. I want to be clear. Brian could have edited that out but instead it's important for tone maybe he had left a few message you know like rehearsals before and wasn't pleased with them and decided to re-record and this was like takes five or something? And he was just like... He's like, finally, somebody gets it. Brian.

For a second, Brian probably thought he had called in. Okay, go ahead and press play, Brian. I was listening to your inappropriate media exposure discussion today, and you mentioned the Unitarian Universalist Church and that reminded me that in what was essentially junior high school as a 14 year old I and my fellow biology basically all the students in my class were given sex education for a week which involved watching Unitarian Universalist produced film strips, which were essentially hardcore porn. They basically showed, okay, this is a naked person,

this is a penis, this is a vagina. And this is, you know, basically, the different things you could do with those all of us you know actual color photos but in a classic school filmstrip form and let's see uh the weirdest thing i mean of other than like as a 14 year old seeing you know adult size penises and stuff was intimidating but also i remember there was a black woman who had enormous hoop earrings, which I just kept wearing with tear during sex. Anyway, love the show. Take care. Keep it up. I have to say this about this call. First of all, I want to know what it means to basically be in middle school. Essentially, he was in middle school it's a long story i lived on

a boat and uh anyway he was he was he was common law in in middle school he's like he's like you know in brazil the rules about what grade is what are different you do three quarter years they're on a quarter system but more than that i think he is describing this as inappropriate to me i have two data points about the unitarian universe three data points about the unitarian universalist church one i believe benjamin franklin was a unitarian universalist and i think anyone who's read the autobiography of benjamin franklin knows whatever he does, we should do because he's fucking unbelievable. Just the amount of shit that guy did with his own weird set of reasons that he explains. God, he's fucking unreal, that guy.

Not necessarily all that good, but just unbelievable. Like, yeah, just do it to it dude is my reaction just you do you man way to invent a country so that's data point number one okay data point number two is these 13 14 year olds seeing the hardcore sex hoop earrings and all you know danger be damned. It's number two. Number three, Maria Bamford goes to Unitarian Universalist Church. So according to these three data points, Unitarian Universalist is by far the best church. Sounds like it fucking rules.

It seems like it's okay, like, you know, to show kids pornography if it has, like, you know, it sounds like it had a really educational tone it was kind of like here is a naked person here is a penis this is a pizza guy this is a stepmom you know just very clinically laying out this is a horny cougar

this is a horny serval sure sam do you have do you have anything in this category do you have a weird movie you had to watch 100 jordan i was sure you were gonna ask sam if he had a favorite type of porn what do you do sam oh boy when you're're home alone waiting to have a full washing machine. I learned all my sex education from Dorf Does Dallas. Title of the episode. Title of the episode. I think my...

My last day of high school, the teacher didn't want to do anything because it's the last day of high school. No, middle school. Middle school. Much different. Much worse. Essentially middle school. Essentially middle school. So in Virginia, that's eighth grade.

They just showed us the movie Sybil. With Sybil Shepard and Christine Baranski on CBS. A different movie. Sybil is about multiple personality disorder. Oh, okay. Awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and we were,

I guess we were old enough to understand what that is. It just felt like a strange way to end my middle school career by watching sort of not a horror, a psychological thriller, I guess, about multiple personalities. At the end of the day, they were like, all right, middle school's over. Get out of here. That's it. Because maybe in middle school, you are going through so many mood swings.

Maybe it feels like you have multiple. So maybe it was a metaphor. I guess. But they could have showed me summer school or something. Right. A little bit related to. Ski patrol. Yeah.

License to drive. You know what I'm remembering I saw in middle school is Silkwood. I saw Silkwood in middle school. That's pretty fucking real. Totally. Yeah. They should have showed us Sybil with Christine Baranski

and Sybil Shepard. The entire show. Fucking great show. I listened to Christine Baranski the other day on Fresh Air. You know, she grew up sharing a room with her grandmother who did Polish comedy.

Wow. Had her own Polish radio comedy show and Sybil Shepard goes, she wrote up sharing a room with her grandmother who did Polish comedy. Wow. Had her own Polish radio comedy show. And Sybil Shepard goes, she wrote it with her friend. Wow. Fucking great. Christine Baranski. A legend. She's amazing.

Legendary. Now, Brian, Jordan on the program recently presumed, asserted that there are people in our audience walking cats on leashes. Now, obviously, this was true. I'm not trying to disagree with Jordan. It's obviously the case that many Jordan Jesse Go listeners walk cats on leashes. There are some who don't. They walk rabbits on leashes. Sure.

And some of them just have that that leash that looks like there's an invisible dog. Take it to the dog park. The Sharper Image catalog. Yeah. Just trying to meet people. They just walk things from the Sharper Image catalog.

Wait, Sam, do you imagine that you that you buy like in the Sharper Image catalog with an invisible dog leash and chattering teeth and whoopee cushions.

Maybe I'm confusing this with the Magic Shop or the SkyMall catalog. Maybe I'm thinking of the SkyMall catalog. You're probably thinking of SkyMall. That was the one with the trick bubble gum. Extra spicy chewing gum was in SkyMall. You know what?

You're thinking of International Mail. Ah, yes. That's where they had the, yeah. Yes. The flower that shoots water out of it. X-ray glasses. X-ray glasses, yeah. Brian, somebody called in to tell us about how and why they do this.

So can you play the call? You can skip right past the long, sad sigh. Hi, guys. This is Joyce calling to answer Jesse's. Not sorry, not Jesse's. Jordan. You might want to work on having the names that start with the same letter. Fuck you, Joyce. Your name starts with the same fucking letter. that start with the same letter. Fuck you, Joyce.

Your name starts with the same fucking letter. Anyway, Jordan's question about catwalkers. Parsnip, who you have met at Max Fun East, loves to go out and loves to go for walks, but will not touch the ground with her paws because it smells like dogs. So you were asking, are cats scared of things that might eat them? I think there are big cats that aren't, but the kind of cat that generally gets taken for walks is a small cat, like the one that you observed talking to the rooster who looked

terrified. And so Parsnip likes to ride on human beings because she thinks it's safer there, but then she loves to go out and she'll sniff around and look at things and never once tries to jump down because she's terrified even of small birds. Uh, that's fairly representative. Thanks guys. Bye. Now I, she's presuming that Parsnip the cat doesn't want to go on the ground because it

smells like dogs. I can tell you why Parsnip the cat doesn't want to go on the ground because it smells like dogs. I can tell you why Parsnip the cat doesn't want to go on the ground. It's a cat. Fucking tiger entrails. Oh, yeah. Spread that tiger all around, baby. I remember this cat. This was a cat that came to Max FunCon East a number of years ago.

And I think it's part of a special breed that likes to be high up and therefore likes to ride around on humans. And this cat fucking rode me all day. All day this cat rode me. Sounds like you were working on your day moves. I was working on my day moves. On my cat moves.

It was a thrill. It was a real thrill being ridden around like a beast of burden by a tiny cat like a cat's oxen yeah made to pull a plow by a cat like a calm steady mule right that's all i all i want to be um yeah my cat while very you know while very uh very affectionate very personable does not ride me around. And yeah, I consider it a failing of hers. I'd love to have a tiny goat.

That'd be nice. You know what I mean? Those will stand on you. That's what I mean. They hurt. It's the hooves. Yeah, I did goat yoga once, and my back was bloody, bloody and raw from the goat standing on me. Well, you were hemophiliac.

I bruise easily. I do appreciate, Joyce, though, like when you were setting this call up, you were referring to people like her as people who walk cats, people who walk cats on leashes, which is a very clinical description or whatever. She called them catwalkers, which just the the coolest name i've ever heard like a supermodel yeah i'm a catwalker right a lot of controversy for my cat too sexy for my leash that is around my cat a lot of controversy in the community about like who considers it like a thing about them and who considers it their identity right so like some people say i'm a person with catwalking some people say i'm a cat walker right yes yeah 206-984-4FUN no servals jjgoatmaximumfun.org

always jump in you know what i mean? Fucking incredible jumps they do. Beautiful animals. Gorgeous rare beasts. Google Serval Jump. You'll know what we're talking about. Serval Jump, Jesse's mom. It's on E-Bombs World. Google Serval Ride Jordan All Day.

Yeah, that's not on E eBombs World, though. It's on break.com. It's on break.com. Okay, check it out on Dig. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi, I'm Biz. And I'm Teresa.

And we're the hosts of One Bad Mother, a podcast about parenting. Parenting is hard and we have no advice, but we do see you doing it. Honk if you like to do it. Didn't we have a bumper sticker a while back that was like honk if you did it. That's what it was. I think it was honk if you're doing it. Why did we not ever make those? We did make them. I think they're still in the MaxFun store. Honk, honk. You're doing it. Thanks, Biz. So are you.

Each week, we'll be here to remind you that you're doing a good job. You can find us on MaximumFun.org. Honk, honk. Toot, toot. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. I listen to Bullseye because Jesse always has really good questions. What did John Malkovich wear when he was 20? I don't know how to describe it.

There's always that moment where Jesse asks a question that the person he's interviewing has not thought of before. I don't think anyone's ever said that to me or acknowledged that to me. And that is so real. Bullseye. Interviews with creators you love and creators you need to know. From MaximumFun.org and NPR. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Sam Riegel, dental impression mold. Oh, like that kind of gum? No. That kind of stuff they put in the tray? I have a dental impression. Oh.

You sure do. Of my teeth right here. Where'd you get that international mail from my dad from my dentist you do have you do have nice choppers sam can you tell which one's the real me no which one do i shoot ask but ask both ask both the question that only sam would know the answer to god get those choppers in a hall of mirrors let's do this beautiful teeth beautiful teeth yeah sam your show the legend of vox machina is really good thanks people yes i think i think people will love it i think if they're fans super fans of the podcast obviously they'll be delighted but i think if you've never seen the podcast,

if you've never seen the video show, you're going to love this thing. It's a funny, swear-filled D&D adventure. The fighting looks fucking cool. The singing is great. I really liked the show. And I think our audience will like it too. They should try it.

Thank you so much. Some of the best animated beatboxing in the history of television. Yep. All the music is acapella and it is all beatbox based. And beatbox polka based. Sam, we're

always thrilled to have you here. Every time you come on the program, I pinch myself. I'm like, I can't believe I know the real Phoenix Wright. Don't you dare. I'm like, I can't believe I know the real Phoenix Wright. Don't you dare. What a thrill, I think to myself. Oh, objection, you're on. Yeah, is there any Easter eggs in the Amazon show?

Does anyone object to anything? Is anything overruled? Legitimately, there is an Easter egg, a Phoenix Wright Easter egg. No way. I think the second episode. Okay. It's just, it's a pose. My character strikes a pose that is very similar to a Phoenix Wright pose.

I think I know the one you're talking about. Yes. That's so cool. But yeah, show rules. Congratulations. Thanks, man. I know it's a labor of love for you all. So yeah, it really turned out nice.

Thanks. It's nice when good people get to make their own television show and it's good. What's better than that? I mean, not much. Not much. Maybe. And legal simulator. Yeah.

Besides that. I can't think of anything. Yeah. But soon we'll listen. Soon soon the animated Dorf reboot will come that's my passion project you know what let's just Dorf Vox Machina oh wow

oh wow let's Dorf craft PBS's craft in America I'd love to see some of those weavers Dorf how are they going to work the levers on those looms hold on I'm going to see some of those weavers dwarfed. How are they going to work the levers on those looms? Hold on. I'm going to Google something.

Dwarf rule 34. Oh, no. Oh, no. Go ahead and Google dwarf stepmom pizza guy. What's dwarf in this scenario? Is he the pizza guy? He's the stepmom. Oh, no.

Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer. Dorf, my dad's going to be home any minute. No, Dorf. Dorf, we're step-siblings. We shouldn't. We can't, Dorf. I've got shoes on my knees. Okay.

Okay, if you put it that way, Dorf. Let's make it quick. Jordan, go on one of those websites and Google Dorf-y. Oh, no. No, I will not. I know those sites. I know those sites. Dorf Network.

Dorf Network. Dorf Show Knees on Main. Valerie Moffitt is on the stream. Brian Sonny D. Fernandez is our producer our theme music is Love You by The Free Design courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records people don't even know what

Dorf is some TV commercials we saw when we were 12 if they don't they turned off the podcast a long time ago they barely know who Ernest is. They don't know who Dorf is. Come on, Vern.

Okay. 206-984-4FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org is the way to reach us. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. Find us on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris at Jesse Thorne. Hashtag your tweets. Hashtag JJGO. I like like to see the tweets jordan you like to see those tweets no okay no no we love the tweets we love the tweets tweet tweet we say yeah that's yeah sure you think it jordan you think there's a jordan jesse go listener out there that's owned a serval oh i would love to know i would love to know if anybody owns a deadly beautiful serval give us a call 206-9844-FUN let's hear about it but what do you think do you think yes or no

uh oh that's um i think yes i do put it this way yeah So we have 100 listeners. So what percentage of our listeners has had a serval? Two one hundredths. And that's the number of... That's how you would say that fraction, right? Two one hundredths? Yeah, exactly. I'm going to have to reduce it. Yeah, no, I think we...

Yes, I think any kind of unusual left of center cat culture, I think we probably have some listeners who participate in it. Think somebody's got a bobcat? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how legal they are, but I mean, I think if you can get a bobcat. You ever been to an underground bobby club? Oh, boy. I wish.

That's the dream. If anybody has an invite, let me know. You don't need an invite. You just need some fucking tiger entrance. Yeah around see what happens we'll talk to you next time on jordan jesse go i'll kiss you and love you love you love you love you maximumfun.org Comedy and Culture Artist Owned

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