Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 727: Christed Eggs with Kimberly Clark

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

Kimberly Clark (Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of everyone's favorite diner order, Jesse's son's meltdown over a stool, and who would win the Burbank mayoral race between Jay Leno and Drew Carey. 

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective? Oh gee, buddy. Oh buddy, you seem... Oh Oh, buddy, you seem... Oh, gosh, Jordan, you seem worried about something. I don't know if you heard, Jesse, but...

I heard that there's... gonna be a... vibe shift, and I'm a scared. Oh, no! Oh, I'm a scared of the vibe shift. Oh, buddy! It's coming. You don't need to be a scared. Oh, but I don't the vibe shift. Oh, buddy. It's coming. You don't need to be scared.

Oh, but I don't know what it's going to be. No need to be a fear in Jordan. Oh, boy. What's your concern? Is it that you've settled into the current vibe? Well, yeah. I mean, it's the unknown, you know? I mean, I don't know if to catch people up.

There was an article in New York Magazine that said there was going to be a vibe shift. I didn't read it. It was paywalled, but I had it described to me at a loud bar. And I think the gist of it is that, you know, every couple of years there's a vibe shift. I think we went from, you know, what they call hipster sleazebag into woke hype beast. And nobody knows what's next. And no one knows what the new vibe is. It could be bullying, Jesse.

Bullying could be the new vibe? Yeah, people could be dumping our books and putting our heads in the toilet and telling us there's something on our shirts. And then they flip us in the nose. What if made the the okay symbol and put it below their waist yeah then they get to flip us in the nuts and we looked at it they get to god damn it what if that's the new vibe jordan when you say they are you talking about these fucking Zoomers? Yes. Zoomers, the ones currently walking around. They're going to be flipping us in the nuts. Yeah, they're going to stop waiting for sneakers and virtue signaling, and they're going to

start flipping us in the nuts and dumping our books. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, man. Oh, shit. Is that why my locker smells? I haven't opened it up. It's part of the coming vibe shift. Someone put a turd in there.

Damn it. It's part of the vibe shift. I'm telling you. The bullies are going to be running this town. Fucking bully zoomers. I just started waiting for sneakers yeah stop and if you're in line now culture if you're sorry if you're in line now get out of line outside the rip and dip which i think is one of those yeah and start bullying i think we're gonna have to do we're gonna have to we're gonna have to start bullying what if first of all i'm ready for that okay so i'm not ready to be bullied but i'm ready to bully let's go okay all right I'm fucking big now. Let's roll up some packets of cigarettes in our sleeves.

Yeah. Fucking ready for it. Let's do this. Show those nerds who's boss. You know what? Bring on the vibe shift. You know what I'm going to start do? You know what I'm going to start do, Jordan?

What do you start do? What do you start do? Me's no longer a fearin'. Now me's start do. Roids. Wow. Pumping iron. Uh-huh.

Juicing. Quaffing roids. Yep. Those green things that come where you carry it around inside the blender you know what i mean you blend it and then you pick up the blender and carry it with you to go pump iron i don't know what that is but you put powder in it it's part of it i'll take your word that maybe spinach yeah so part of the vibe shift is your blender you put the spinach in there and powder i don't know soy milk i don't know and then you blend it on high and then you take the blender

you pick it up and you bring it with you to pump iron and the guy shoots you in the butt with roids and then you're so fucking ripped you can bully anybody nobody can fuck with you anymore it's not like when you were a teenager it's not like when you were 14 years old and some guys would jump you and they didn't have, they probably didn't have a gun, but they said they did. I'm not loving this. And what are you going to do? Roll the dice on it?

No, now I'm going to be the one claiming to probably have a gun bully people. You know what? Let's fuck all this. Let's just go back to PBRs and indie rock. Huh? All right. Fair enough.

Yeah. Let's go to a hold Steady concert or something. What's the postal service up to? You know what? The band. Let's do cocaine and watch Electro Clash. Sure. Yeah, why not?

Fuck it, right? Fuck bullying. Yeah. It's cocaine and Electro Clash for us. That's settled. Our guest on this week's program is a stand-up comic, a favorite of Jordan Jessie Go. She has a television special on the television show Netflix, Tiffany Haddish, They Ready. You can watch her stand-up comedy there. Kimberly Clark. Kimberly, very nice to see you again. It is so wonderful to see you guys. The last time I saw you guys, we were talking about Zooms and eating placenta. So you were on the show last month then. So you were on the show on an episode.

Bully culture coming full circle. Now, we were probably pro-zune we had we as famous soon at yeah definitely where we all came down on placenta eating i think this is around the time when jesse's wife might have been pregnant yeah one of your kids um yeah and that's how the discussion came up i don't know if she did did she do that by the way btw no we didn't we didn't uh edp eat the placenta you're not snarfing that center dude i know so many fucking valuable stem cells that could be juicing me up while I pump iron. Gotta snarf a percent.

Can I tell you something about my, a subject, a frequent subject on this program, or at least a periodic subject on this program, is my Aunt Claudia, my mom's lifelong best friend. She passed away a couple of years ago, but I've been thinking of her because this singer named Betty Davis died. And she was one of my Aunt Claudia's favorites. Her theme tune was a Betty Davis song called Steppin' in Her I'm Miller Shoes, which is a real jam. I encourage everyone to check it out. But my Aunt Claudia, for like the last 15-ish years of her life was a doula and midwife. And I had this conversation with her one time where she told me that she was at the house

encapsulating some placentas. And I was like, wow, Claudia, like what do you think about encapsulating placentas like do you do you think that's worth doing you know and she she said to me she said to me honey i don't but if these white people want to pay me to do it i'll do it all right let's let's eat those placentas freeze dry it baby uh kimberly do you have any hopes for the coming first of all have you heard of the vibe shift and do you have any hopes for the coming? First of all, have you heard of the vibe shift? And do you have any hopes for what the next vibe might be? What is it going to be? I have not heard of that.

This is my first time hearing about the vibe shift. I feel like the vibe shifts constantly though, right? Am I crazy? Yeah, I mean, it could possibly be that, you know, whoever wrote this article just put together a bunch of fucking shit to fill a word minimum, and then people on Twitter got mad about it. That's entirely possible.

It could just be that none of this is real. That doesn't add up, Jordan. Yeah yeah i think the vibe's about to shift you're right no it's now can i can i ask you guys a question yeah what if the vibe shift is from woke hype beast to eating pancakes at a diner. Because I feel like we're, I know, I'm ready for that, especially if it's got nice bacon. If you go to a diner and they don't give you that kind of dried out, you know, the dried out paper thin, if it's a diner that has a nice slabby bacon and you get some

cakes next to it, oh boy. What a way to start your day. Now there's a vibe. I'm vibing right now. Get that keto out of here. Give me them pancakes. Serve up the cakes. See ya keto. Yeah, Kimberly, before we started, you were talking about a trip to one of

your hometown of Burbank. I don't know if you grew up in Burbank, but you live in Burbank. I'm not claiming it as a hometown. Don't put that on me. Burbank till I die. I like it here, but I don't like it like that. But you went to one of Burbank's many wonderful diners. What is your diner order?

Or do you have one? Do you have a consistent order? Well, I went eat in park oh should i say that yeah well we're like give we're like you know what just fucking let it all out right we're like i had to do my gut afterwards we're on this vibe listen okay so i went basic today because i didn't really want to do a lot of carbs because i have some stuff coming up and i don't want to look like a beluga whale but that happens to me it goes straight to my it goes straight to my the fatty pocket on the back had when I eat it. No, but I just got eggs fried

over hard with hash browns and turkey bacon. Great order. Yeah. Now, you

don't want to get the juices from the eggs into your hash browns? No, thank you.

You like it all dry. You want to dry across the board. I like the yolk to crumble. Yes. You know, I was raised by a mother who hates eggs. And she's so strange about eggs. It's weird.

Like if somebody cooks something like a meringue, like she has a meringue phobia right and she's like i can taste the egg it's baked like relax right i uh i bought this machine a couple years ago i was never particularly an egg person i'm not like an egg hater, but this was like, what's the point? But then I bought this machine that you can get on popular retail website for like $12 or $14 or something. Uh, that is an egg cooker and it somehow knows you have to put a little pole in the egg, but it comes with a poke, an egg poker. So you poke the egg and then you fill a little cup with a certain amount of water.

You put it in there and you press the button. And then after a while, horrible sound goes out on, and then you have boiled eggs that are perfectly boiled. And then you have boiled eggs that are perfectly boiled. And I have come to just rely on having six of those in my refrigerator at all times. And just like wandering over, grabbing one blindly in the middle of the night and just kind of shoving it into my mouth, shell and all, basically. Like just always having hard- eggs available to me, like as far as a convenience food, it's not like I love hard boiled eggs, but it is now a central tenet of my lifestyle. Listen, when I was a kid, my grandma Lydia taught me how to make deviled eggs.

I was eight years old. I was dying to learn. What eight year old is it? I was one of those kids, man. Teach me your casseroles grandma i was into deviled eggs and charcuterie boards when i was like seven eight years old i was just into cheeses and all that kind of so you were into adult cocktail party pass around you were raised in a gastro pub well well my parents are old too older you know so like you know and my my dad was a pastor so

they would have like the men's meetings sometimes you know in the basement and so my mom would put together like the meat trays with the olives and the cheeses and stuff you know that's my jam i could live off of that easily did you get leftover sunday food does the pastor take home the food from the social time after the after the services like with there's grapes left over do you eat those the next day you know what we used to do a lot of bake sales so my dad was always like bringing home cakes and coconut cakes and pound cakes we used to have a lady that made old um two of the ice cream in the summertime disagree oh after church she would have homemade ice cream mother edwards vanilla and strawberry those were the flavors so much much love to Mother Edwards.

That is delivering at the bake sale. If you brought homemade ice cream, that is what is up. Let's talk about these deviled eggs because I got to tell you, I did not grow up in a deviled eggs household. I didn't eat basically any of the, you know, almost none of those kind of like things that people talk about somebody bringing to a family reunion or something. Like none of those things were a big part of my childhood. And I think I probably ate my first deviled egg as an adult. And when I ate one of these deviled eggs, I was like, man, fucking people in the 1950s were wrong about a lot of shit, but they were dead right about these eggs. Fucking deviled eggs rule. Like when they got fancy, you know in uh 2007 uh that was fine like i'm perfectly glad to eat a

fancy deviled egg but a big thing that i will do with my hard boiled eggs that are always in the refrigerator is just you know do a little slicing pop out a few yolks i'll just make myself two deviled eggs just for funsies, just in a little bowl, just put them in there with a little fucking just for funsies, baby. What do you put in your deviled eggs? Uh, just a little mayo and mustard. Usually I'm not getting fancy once in a while. I will put a little sweet pickle in there or something like that if I'm trying to be fun. Um, and I'll, I'll usually put a little, you know, pretty much anything that I cook in my kitchen

ends up getting a little carne asada seasoning on it or somewhere between a little and a lot of carne asada seasoning. So sometimes I'll put a little carne asada seasoning in there. You know, it's basically salt and MSG pretty much and garlic. If we're just going around saying our deviled egg opinions, to me, deviled egg, texture hell. Pure.

Really? Really? Your texture hell. You don't like the mushiness? No. Do you like a sweaty? Mushy plus cold. What do you prefer?

You don't like cold mush? No. Like hot mush. Like a boiling. Wait. So burn me, burn me. Can you drink a slushie?

Uh, yeah, yeah, I can drink a slushie. Just, yeah, there's some sort of like, just like,

like, so there's a lot of kinds of like mushy savoriness that kind of grossed me out. Jordan, what if there was an egg in the slushie? Oh, yeah, sure. Or a couple eggs, and you whipped it. Absolutely, yeah. Shell it all. Yeah, no, I eat a lot of eggs. I really like, yeah, I mean, eggs over easy at a diner. That's one of my favorite things in the world to eat. But yeah, there's just certain egg preparations that just ring a gross bell in my

brain um yeah hard-boiled they are they are gross i mean that's one of the things about them they don't taste that great and they do have a weird it's it's weird they stink they smell bad also and they give you the toots. But, but, consider this. They're right there in the fridge. All you got to do is shove them down your throat, shell and all. You know what? There's your protein. Fuck eggs.

Fuck eggs. You know what? Is this the vibe shift? Fuck eggs? It's from incredible edible egg to eggs can go fuck themselves. it's from incredible edible egg to eggs jordan would you prefer uh would you prefer if you were going to eat a deviled egg and i i ask this only to give you a feeling of revulsion sure thank you yeah i'll try i'll try and lean away from the mic when I'm making gag noises.

Were I to give you a deviled egg, would you prefer the yolky part, the part with the mustard and the mayo and so on and so forth, would you prefer it to be perfectly smooth, or would you like a little chunk in there? No chunk. Okay. Yeah, I think that the middle slurry I would be more into if it was smooth yeah why are you gonna call it a slurry no i mean it's a savory slurry now kimberly you love slurry now kimberly you love you love deviled eggs just like i do. Yes. Can I pitch you a deviled egg?

Sure. Okay. So there's people, you know, all these gastropubs and new American restaurants are all offering their twist on a deviled egg, whether it's got some salmon roe on top or it's got bacon in it or it's, you know, whatever it is. It's my idea for you. So the shell, the white, remains the same, identical. Maybe, it's crazy, put a little salt on the bottom so it hits your tongue. That's just an idea. I feel you. Okay, thank you.

Now, in the middle, there's, of course, egg yolk, mayonnaise, and slushy. That's the slurry in the middle. It's going to be egg yolk, mayonnaise. It could be an icy. It could be whatever kind of slushy you prefer. It could be a frozen orange bag. Okay, so is the yolk going to have some sweetness to it to counterbalance, do that umami trick with the salt? What the sweetness will come from probably is the slushy or icy.

You know, you're not going to use a whole big gulp, obviously. It's going to be proportional. Just a dab. Yeah, just a dab dab maybe the cherry flavor i'm not gonna go totally bonkers i'm not giving you cola or you know mountain breeze bubble gum bubble gum yeah let's go bubble gum i think that's a great idea so this is this is we're getting so fucking rich we're the new grant. Schatz with this fucking molecular gastronomy we're dropping on people. We need to make a restaurant for just

deviled eggs. It's called The Toots. Come on down to The Toots. It's called Today, Satan. You know, deviled eggs? Why is nobody making Christed eggs?

Thank you. Happy Easter. They died for us. Yo, Easter does. I mean, that's the egg holiday. That's the egg holiday. Thank you. Number one egg holiday. holiday. Do you think you know, a lot of people are upset that there are so many

pagan rituals around Easter, which is of course the celebration of the resurrection of Christ. I mean, that's what's important there. What if we move the eggs over to a different holiday? You know what I mean? What if we made you know, boy.

Fourth of July? I was going to say like maybe Veterans Day. Make that the egg holiday. Just have a nice omelet and remember the sacrifice. The sacrifice of heroes. Yeah, exactly. Well, a lot of eggs love, a lot of veterans love eggs. And vice versa.

And vice versa. Thank you. Eggs honor our troops and those who've served. You know, they understand. You know who honors, you know who comes out every single year to the parade.

Grand Marshal of the parade here in Los Angeles every single year. That egg guy from U.S. Acres. Yes. Respects the troops. That chicken that was still in the egg from the comicrip USA.

It hasn't been around for 25 years. That's the one. Oh, my God. Y'all are tripping. No, we're not. Not true. False lies from Kimberly Clark. Kimberly, what's going into your deviled egg? What's, what's a Clark special courtesy of grandma? Listen, um, it depends on what I'm going to

move for. You know, I've done all types. I've done taco seasoning in them. I, I liked, I love mustards. I'd like to do spicy mustard and then I'll put a little sweet relish in there. A little bit of onion. I have to also credit my Aunt Leila too because I remember making deviled eggs with her and she

told me the secret is when you chop up your onions and your peppers and celery and stuff, if you put that in them, make sure you chop it very, very fine so that the flavors can meld together. So that's a big tip right there. In general, love a fine chop on anything. What are you chopping? Chop it a little finer.

That's a textural dream for Jordan Morris. Yeah. A fine chop. For me, a texture head? Oof. Yeah. A fine chop. My daughter, Grace, will try things and she will have the most serious considered opinions about how they taste.

considered opinions about how they taste but they will always just be she'll she'll like try something and she'll get real quiet and real thoughtful and then she'll say i enjoy the flavor and it has a good texture. That's her review of all foods. So she's the next Jonathan Gold, or what? I know. She's so serious about it. She's so... Do you want to know what... But that's going to evolve.

That's going to evolve, and then she's going to be talking about oaky notes and mouthfeel and buttery Merlots. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. Start teaching your children to appreciate wine early. Yeah. I start them with the basics, okay?

It's Carlo Rossi with breakfast. And we're going to work our way up from there as we develop their palate. You know what I mean? But we go through a couple boxes a week or a few jugs. We're mostly a jug family. Sure. You know, when it comes to both bands and wines.

Can I tell you what my son Oscar got mad about today? Sure. Yeah. So this evening, first of all, my daughter grace didn't want to take some medication she had to take and um you know like forcing a kid to make take medication doesn't really work uh you have to kind of trick them into it um either by kind of sidling up next to them and throwing it in their mouth basically sure or just say it's a minecraft exactly here eat this minecraft okay have a road child son yes um what what worked for my daughter

tonight was that my wife promised to buy her a chair and Oh. She demanded this. It wasn't a particular chair. It was any chair. Well, there you go. That's a great loophole. That's interesting. That's an interesting request that she had. Yeah, I don't know the source.

I couldn't tell you. It's a real baffler. But then my son, they ended up choosing a stool instead of a chair. So they went, I think it's, I don't know if it's a three or a four leg. The advantage of three is that it's more stable on an even ground. But, you know, four could be a little less rough unit. It's a more refined presentation. It's got a good flavor and a nice texture

so so my daughter they ordered for my daughter from an online retailer a stool it's coming in a few days now my son Oscar found out about the stool

and now Jordan if you're you have a sibling. I do, yeah. I have a sister. You got a cool sister. She's an attorney. She's great. Down in Orange County.

Let's say your mom, Sharon, had bought her a stool to trick her into taking her medicine. Thank you for using my mom's first name, too. I appreciate that. You bet I would, too. Well, I mean, Kimberly's just listing her aunts i know i'm like naming grandmothers yeah no family members love podcast shout outs i have mine are dead though the people i listed are dead well do you think they have podcasts in heaven i

think almost certainly no i say that I say it out loud. I started that sentence going one direction. It's heaven, Jesse. They're just up there flapping. Yeah. So, Jordan, let's say your mother, Sharon. Sharon. Purchased for your sister.

Sometimes she goes by her middle name, Gail. Anyway. Let's say Gail. Sharon to you. Don't be too familiar with my mom. Look, I'll call her Shale. Sure, yes. Scooter.

Call her by her college nickname. Jordan, let's say Scoot spot your sister. That's too old. What would your reaction to that be? Just as a sibling. Boy, you know, my sister and I are, we're like six years apart. So I think we, I don't remember, and she might tell it differently. If she wants to, she can get her own podcast gosh darn it perhaps about family law sure yeah i mean a subject down there in

orange county yeah um that actually probably would be helpful it'd be more helpful than this podcast that helps no one this podcast is not designed to help. This is for hurting. This podcast hurts. This is for people who are worried their life is too full. Sure. The purpose of this podcast is to pull the drain plug out of people's lives. I think it's... Let it run out. Maybe the benefit of the show is

like it makes you feel smart yeah or you're like you're doing something with your life yeah okay i'm doing all right um what were we talking about oh so we were talking about so yeah if your sister got a stool and yeah we're kind far apart. So I don't think we had a lot of the sibling jealousy stuff. I think maybe she probably had some of the experience to where parents are a little more lenient on the boys. Maybe I got to stay out a little bit later and stuff. So I think that would maybe be her gripe about our growing up i don't remember too much to like she got this i want this type of jealousy um even if she got a stool even if she got a stool because i gotta tell you my son My son had a fucking 40 minute full scale. Wow. 12 out of 10,

like little flailing eight year old punches in the air. Like just a roller coaster of levels of self-control ranging from like full on screaming to like just a like a sick resigned inward turned darkness over the fact that his sister got a stew again super villain origin story i can't emphasize enough kimberly and jordan and for your benefit valerie and and brian and of course the listeners at home wasting their lives this was over a stool wow he didn't even want a stool that's the most incredible part of the whole thing he explicitly rejected his own stool kimberly did you have siblings is this something you're familiar with? You know, I have siblings, but they're so much older than me that I was kind of raised as an only child. They really we didn't really go through those stages together. So it's almost like another set of kids and then me, even though we all have the same parents. But it was a full vibe shift.

Yeah, definitely a vibe shift. Yeah, I think I think when you when you are far apart from your sibling they are kind of just like when your kids they're like these little roommates you're like yeah this is my child roommate and then maybe you know i think my sister and i got closer as adults and when we were kind of like just right little acquaintances as kids well they were like junior parents to me actually oh okay you know because were, my sisters were teenagers and my brother was almost a teenager. So they kind of. Did they teach you to do cool teenager stuff?

Yeah, I used to play ping pong with them. I used to. Oh, yeah. The coolest teenager shit. Not the bad stuff. No. Did they sneak you into the teen center you can check out as many hardy boys books as you want you know i used to go out with them though

like when with their little boyfriends and stuff and you know i just sit around and be in grown folks conversation trying to contribute what's an example what's an example of a topic that uh that a teenage older uh clark sibling would talk about that you might try and get involved in i don't know i can't really remember i used to tell everybody's business though like people didn't like for me to be around because i i was a little bit of a snitch sure oh goody two-shoes i was an informant yeah diggity boom boom yeah so so okay jesse i don't want to listen you're i don't want to backseat drive your parenting.

I don't have kids. I got to get a son. I'm working on it. Jordan, have you thought about getting a son? I'm working on it. I got to get a son. I'm working on it. Kimberly, for you, these are beloved catchphrases that our audience loves.

I think you should get one, honestly. I got to get a son. I got to get a son. Yeah. Anyway. You got to get one, i gotta get a son gotta get a son yeah anyway um yeah i'm working on so again i don't wanna you know i don't want to be critiquing your parenting i'm just uh you know if anyone at home is tired can i just say Jordan, if anyone at home is tired of me prompting Jordan to say that he's got to get a son, I just want them to know that they can go fuck themselves because I love it every single time. I think if they're tired of it, they just stopped listening a while ago. It's like basically what I live for.

Yeah, I got to get a son. You say it like you're going to Ralph's in a couple minutes. I mean, you gotta give him a variety of deliveries. Yeah. Just like how, you know, on tip- You gotta sing the song different live than on the record. Of course, yeah.

And like on Home Improvement, Tim Allen had a variety of grunts. He would go, and then sometimes, that's me with, I gotta get a son sometimes i don't trust vaccines it's a shame that i bust light year it's about what a bummer huh you definitely want to watch more of those movies but it's gonna be a little awkward it'd be hard to watch a fifth one knowing what you know about me now again i don't want to i don't want to critique your parenting too hard. Okay. But should you just have gotten three stools, one for each kid?

Everybody gets their own stool. What would be the problem with that? Maybe there isn't one. Maybe I'm blowing your mind. I don't know. Why not just get three stools? Everybody gets a stool. Everybody gets to have a little sit down.

I don't know how your health is, Jordan, but I try and stick to one stool a day. That's my rule. Yeah. I stool on the hour every hour. Wow. That's incredible. I started eating deviled eggs. Hilarious.

Wait, so how does your son deal with your daughter's birthday? Incredible. I started eating deviled eggs. Hilarious. Wait, so how does your son deal with like your daughter's birthday? You know, it really is. He is the only one that has the this isn't fair obsession. And it's true that there are times when his siblings get certain things because they are dealing with shit and need some encouragement to deal with the shit that they're dealing with. My eight-year-old son, Oscar, he doesn't know how fucking good he has it this is one of these classic entitled right post zoomers who think they can shift the fucking vibe anytime they want this guy this guy yeah where is he in the birth order? He's the middle child. He's the fun one. He does voices. He likes to do voices.

I don't want to encourage him because he might end up on a fucking podcast. I thought you were going to say he might end up rich little. Yeah, he might end up in Vegas. Look, if you're going to be an entertainer, you could do a lot worse than a Vegas residency. Sure. You get to go underneath the casino

in the secret tunnels. Oh yeah. You get to wear a tuxedo. Ah, you probably get all the dribbled eggs you can eat. Yeah,

free well drinks. Exactly. You can become a base level alcoholic. You guys want to take a little break and grab some well drinks and then come back for some calls? We'll be back once we grab our vodka and sodas in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, is made possible by who? Yes, that's right. The members of Maximum Fun. Thank you to the members of Maximum Fun. We're not that far away from the Maximum Fun Drive. It's a couple months away.

I'm looking forward to it. It's a special time for us to connect with you, the members of Maximum Fun. We got some fun stuff planned and we legitimately are planning things in advance. I know. Isn't that cool? It seems crazy.

We're doing it. We thought about just having people call in and then claim that we had planned something. No, that's for the show. Yeah. That's for the actual show. We're also supported this week by the good people over there at Magic Spoon. You know, Jordan? Yum.

Yes. My children get a little rainbow of foods on their dinner plate. They're picky eaters. Right. They get a little selection of foods. They get a few of those little carrots or maybe some celery sticks. Right. Classics.

Maybe they get a few dino buddies. Maybe they get slices of orange or last night they got some cherimoya. It's a custard apple. And you know, when I'm looking for a little element of crunch, a little something extra, I'll make a little pile of magic spoon on there. You know why? It's tasty, comes in all these delicious flavors they love.

A lot of great flavors. It's got that little sweet kick that compliments those other items on the plate. And you know what? I don't feel too bad about giving it to them because it's high in protein It's got that little sweet kick that compliments those other items on the plate. And you know what? I don't feel too bad about giving it to them because it's high in protein and low in sugar. Yeah. It's a nice combo. It's great.

I love Magic Spoon. I love eating a bowl in the morning for breakfast. I love chomping on some for a midnight snack. If I get the old Hungry's before bed and I want something that's not a big sugar bomb. I just get a handful of Magic Spoon. It's tasty. It's flavorful. Gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb. You can build

a box with a lot of great flavors. There's cocoa, fruity, frosted, peanut butter, blueberry, cinnamon, cookies and cream, maple, waffle. Oh my gosh. They're all good. I like all of the flavors. You cream maple waffle oh my gosh they're all good i like all of the flavors you'll have a favorite but they're all really tasty it was mape waft for my kids tonight nice gave them the mw what fun what fun go to magic spoon.com slash jj go to grab a custom bundle of cereal and start your new year off right and be sure to use

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episode. We're also supported this week by the good folks at Manscaped. Ah, Manscaped. You know what's holding you back, dear listener? Oh, I thought you were talking to me. I was like, wow, we're going to get real, huh? Alright, gonna get real huh all right let me have it jordan you're doing great you're doing great you got

that nice bungalow yeah that bungalow lifestyle you're living you can go to pine burger whenever you want yeah i'm doing great i'm ceasing self-reflection i'm doing great i i know it's i know it's holding you back jordan is that you're too scared to go to the rose bowl aquatic center all right hold on all right what's holding the listener back what's holding the listener back jordan excess pubic hair that's what's holding the listener back you know why swimmers trim their junk so they can fly through the wall. They can blast through life like a seal. Don't you want to blast through life like a seal? Why not manscape it, baby?

Yeah, so Manscaped, they've got these below-the-belt trimmers that we love. Seals love them. They're really, really awesome. But what Manscaped now also has, in addition to these below the belt trimmers, they've got an ultra premium collection for your private parts. It's an all-in-one skin and hair care kit

for the everyday man and covers you from head to toe. Literally, Jesse, we got some boxes. Manscaped was nice enough to send over some stuff from this ultra premium collection. Deodorant, body spray, body wash, shampoo, and more. It is great stuff. It smells terrific. It comes in very attractive

bottles i don't know if you notice the bottles jesse they're very attractive these things are the kathy ireland of bottles oh yowza yowza you'll say when you take out the bottle uh they're really awesome just knows that's what i say when I see supermodel caviar. Yowza, yowza. It's really, really great stuff. It smells terrific, and the products are cruelty-free, paraben-free, vegan-friendly, and dye-free. The best ingredients with zero compromise. Get that ultra-premium collection hot off the shelves.

Get it hot off the shelves. Use hot off the shelves use it after it's cooled yeah don't if it's too hot leave it alone let it cool down get 20 off and free shipping with the code jjgoe at manscaped.com that's 20 off and free shipping with the code JJGO at manscaped.com. The power of attraction is now in a bottle. Thanks to Manscaped. Yowza, yowza. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. love you love you love you love you love you love you

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love you Carrie had it fucking coming to him. Later for you, asshole. Unseat Carrie. Who do you think wins in a... We know Kimberly's coming down the pike. Obviously, she's going to dominate the field. Right now, Drew Carey or Jay Leno, who's mayor of Burbank? Oh, that could be a tight race yeah yeah i love seeing him randomly by the way that's like the best it's like playing pokemon or something wait kimberly right but pokemon but instead of spotting a little monster it's spotting a car you have to crank yes i was a pa on on the lot where they shot uh the tonight show yeah while

jay leno was hosting it and yeah he would uh he would fucking just put her up there on a little you know coal-powered train that for some reason can come on the street and always wave it was always he would just call and say like can you get one of the PAs to come pick me up? I ran out of peat moss. Right. That would be a tight race, though. I don't... That's hard. Yeah, because

both of them, Burbank Fixtures, both of them you can spot at a Bob's Big Boy anytime you're there literally anytime you will see one or the other of them at any bob's big boys they they have to to the extent they have to franchise that out they're willing to they'll jay will throw a you know he'll throw a denim shirt and some blue jeans onto some dude that looks kind of like him. Drew Carey, you know, he's got a lot of those glasses. He just passes those out, sends everybody,

they fan out across the Bob's Big Boys. Dude, you're so right about Bob's Big Boy, because I, like you were a PA where Jay Leno was, I was actually PA on the Drew Carey show. So I had to deliver something to him. And they were like, Drew is at the Bob's. He's just sitting in a booth. And I was like, okay. So I went to Bob's big boy. I swear to God, I felt like a spy because he was like, so like, just indiscreet, you know, you didn't know he was there. And then I just kind of slid on the other side of the booth and like gave him whatever it was i had to deliver to him and we exchanged a few words and then i walked out and it really i needed music to go along with the moment because it was just

one of those just felt like a spy yeah a real cloak and dagger that'd be funny if what you were delivering to him was hash brown he doesn't like the ones from he likes everything else yeah down the street go to patty's patty's oh yeah there's that's the big burbank question patties or bobs yo do we now should we just start listing the model train places is that our next move right the comic book stores with no new comic books and if you go in asking for a new comic book they'll be a dick to you you know what those stores are underrated you know my favorite one is comics i found yeah uh i i i love i do love those places and i love that there's a place in the world where those types of places from from comics i found to model train store to record store with a lot of Exotica albums.

Yes, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's great that there's a place in the world where those can still be open. People are still selling lounge music records. Yeah. Esquivel albums. We haven't decided who's going to win this race. They both have their merits. Drew Carey does a great job

doing drew carrie stuff holds the prices right he does a great job seems like a bright decent fella i think um uh you know whose line aisha tyler likes him she said nice things to me about him one time heather ann campbell i think likes likes Drew Carey. She works on that Who's Line sometimes. Now, Jay Leno, I'll say he came on Bullseye. He was a very pleasant man. And I watched some Tonight Show from when he was hosting the Tonight Show, which I never really watched because I was watching Letterman when I was a teen or whatever. And, you know, everything they say about how what a great job he did with the monologues was true. The jokes were what they were, and he sold the shit out of them, just really sold the shit out of them before kind of tuning out for the rest of the show. But he really did sell.

He really did a great job, and I watched a fair amount of his car show, and I really enjoyed it. It's mostly him wandering around in fields with cars. There's cars in the fields. So who do you think wins? I think and yeah, my personal positive experience with one of these men was Leno waving at me when I was a PA. Always waved. At all the PAs? I like to think he just waved at me.

Okay. I never ran it by anybody else, but I like to think that he saw something special in me. And that I have gone on to fail him. I've gone on to decide. I thought you were going to be great. Why'd you do a podcast? No one needs that. I feel like you really took the plug out of the basin of my life get over here and crank my etzel

i'm partial to drew i mean he's me too i've gotten a lot of gifts and things from him so i can't really but i will say this about jay because i started working with him a lot at flappers like that's his new spot since comedy magic hasn't been open since the pandemic so he's been doing shows at flappers that's like where he works out now that's in that's in burbank california if i'm that is in burbank sobank. Over there by the Ikea. Precisely. I have heard so many nice things about Drew Carey. I think he has probably given a $100 tip to every single waiter in Burbank. Yeah.

And I think that is going to sway the vote. I mean, I have not gotten my personal hundred dollar tip from Drew Carey. It will happen at some point. And I think that everyone has gotten it. And I think that that that's going to put him over the top. Very generous man. Yes. Who does not celebrate Christmas or birthdays.

But he is. Wow. Wait. Every day is Christmas with him. No, he's not Jehovah's witness no i don't think so i would i think that would be fun though if he was a jackson like an adopted jackson you're like well you're going into the entertainment industry too but you can't be in the band you cannot be in the band drew he's kind of midwest he's what ohio yeah They're Indiana. Not too far away.

I think it's possible. Maybe he's not I don't know how old he is. He might not be an appropriate age to be a Jackson sibling. But maybe he's siblings with your majesty. Maybe he's one of Jermaine's kids. It's a possibility.

So we're all voting for Carrie. Hold on. I need to know. And then Kimberly can unseat him. It's a possibility, Joy. So we're all voting for, well, we're all voting for Kerry for Burbank Mayor. I need to know. And then Kimberly can unseat him. Yeah. I have one question about Drew Kerry that maybe either of you guys know. Kimberly, because, of course, you live there in Burbank.

You're the mayor-in-waiting. Pre-mayor. um and pre-mayor and of course you worked on the you worked on the drew carrey show jordan because um you've been to every diner in burbank after going swimming since you're too chicken shit to swim at the rose bowl aquatic center all right let's not start this again oh if you have the if you have the fucking guts to again to swim at the rose bowl with the big boys this wouldn't be an issue why are you scared to swim there because he's i he doesn't have the he doesn't have the guts here's what's i i started swimming at the verdugo aquatic facility in burbank i'm familiar right and then i moved to pasadena where there is also a pool yeah but i have over there at

the rose bowl aquatic center where the big boys flip it's the same boy the same sized boys the boys are the same size at both are they doing like cannonballs off of the dining diving board like why are you intimidated i'm i just like i have i have a little club that i belong to and i have friends i would miss my friends i would miss my friends jordan's scared that if he swims at the rose bowl he won't tell you this he's scared that if he swims at the rose bowl one of these big boys is gonna flick his balls i'm not scared this guy is the same size boy this guy is fearing like you wouldn't believe are the same size. That might sting a little when you're wet.

Yeah. Jordan, how's your boots? You shaking them enough? No, it's a preference. What are they, shaking like a fucking martini? It's not that much more of a drive. By you shaking them? Because you're so fucking scared of the Rose Bowl Aquatic Center?

Okay, here's my question about Drew Carey. What's this guy whipping? was what's what's drew carrey pushing car wise yeah i remember he had a mini cooper like a special one it was like a british edition yeah that's cool but that was like back during his show i'm sure he has a little bit of everything. Yeah, he's probably got a little bit of everything. A couple of vans, a motorcycle. Yeah. Ambulance.

Yeah. That guy's whipping an Ambo. That's what I say. Ambulance for Drew Carey. Like a cool one. You know what I mean? Like a cool ambulance. Like with a lounge vibe.

Letters are painted on front ways. Yeah. Flip the a lounge vibe. Letters are painted on front ways. Yeah. And flip the script on those guys. Look at old front ways ambulance. When something momentous happens to you, like you catch Drew Carey on the streets of Burbank pushing his cool ass Esquivel ambulance. Windows rolled down. He's playing a Trip to the Moon. Give us a call.

206-984-4FUN or just record a voice memo voice memo voice a memo to your telephone and then email it to us at jjgoe at maximumfun.org An example of a person who's done this very thing

call 206-984-4FUN or send us a voice memo, is this person. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. I'm calling with a momentous occasion, long-time listener, first-time caller. I had my first threesome this weekend, and it was amazing, and I would love to do it again, but the other two people have decided that they hate each other and are currently not speaking to each other. Wow. Welcome to my life. Love you guys. Love the show.

Thanks a lot. Bye-bye. Welcome to my life. Oh, my God. Now she'll never get a son. It's the only way to get a son is to have a threesome. Do you have to like each other to have a threesome? Yeah.

It helps, I guess, but I feel like hate is a good motivator to do that. But only love can conquer hate. True that. Sure. Beautiful. That's what Dr.

Martin Luther King said about threesomes. Yeah, I've seen the quotes on Instagram. Yo. I know. Do you think it was something that happened at the threesome or just like- Or after. Afterwards, like they split a check or something and- They went out to dinner afterwards and then when they were paying the check,

someone just put in the amount of money that their actual food cost and didn't put in tip or tax or split it evenly. They were like, well, I didn't get a drink. Y'all are getting real deep with it. I think the other two people are married. Oh. And marriage breeds contempt sure that's what i hear i'm not married it's just an argument about where to spend thanksgiving has nothing to do with the three whose parents house to go to

i kimberly i disagree i'm the only married person here okay um and i love my wife very very very much and if we had a threesome i would hate the third person not my because i collectively the two of you would hate them well no trees doesn't have to hate okay it's only two of the people hate each other they would hate me this person would hate me but that's obvious though they have to do is listen to my fucking podcast feel like their life force is draining out I'm not married right but if I was married and had a threesome right I think we'd all band together and hate injustice. Thanks, Jordan. But there's going to be a vibe shift, so slow down on the virtue signaling.

I'm just doing my last virtue signaling. Just getting all the virtue signaling out of my system. Before it goes out of style. Mm-hmm. We also, Kimberly, just so you know we have a lot of creativity a lot of creative juices and thinking fuck what i spent five hundred dollars on these yeezus i don't have that i don't i didn't have the money i don't you had i'm in the hole on these yeezus your yeezus i charge That's like the first rule of personal finance is never charge Yeezys.

Yeah. That's like if Seinfeld was still going, they'd be like, you charge the Yeezys? You never charge the Yeezys. I hope you didn't wear them. Are they like in a glass case? I wore them in the rain. You have the Yeezys on ice, right, Jordan? No, I wore them.

I splashed them puddles. You didn't use the Yeezys on ice, right, Jordan? No, I wore them. I splashed them puddles. You used the Yeezys? You used the Yeezys for splashers? For splashing. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. Jordan, don't tell me. Tell me these puddles were crystal clear.

No, they were muddy puddles. Oh, my God. So, it's so funny. So you... So you... Let me get the order of events straight. You heard about a hype release. You lined up

down there on Fairfax. I brought my camping chair and everything. You went ahead and charged the Yeezys. And then you didn't ice the Yeezys. You could have got rich on StockX, but you didn't ice the Yeezys. You donned the Yeezys. And then you went a-splashing?

And the puddles were muddy ones? Yeezys. And then you went a-splashing? And the puddles were muddy ones? Are you a nasty little dirt foot? Yeah, I guess. Jeez. No, I'll never get a son. So, Kimberly, on our show, we think of a lot of our our own ideas for segments and then have people call in for those segments um this is all stuff that we thought of and copyrighted from hard work it's not just stuff that people wanted to call in about so they

they claimed that it was a segment on the show that's not what it is it's not just us playing miscellaneous shit that people called in. But at the beginning, they claimed it was a segment on the show. What happens is we think of specific call outs because we're not lazy. We're very hardworking. We're full of creativity. So here's one of those calls that we thought of. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, Sunny B.

And I'm going to say, Nick, repeat Adams. On your much beloved segment of, are my boots cursed? I'd like to share a brief story. I bought some boots at the beginning of the pandemic. Didn't I, son? I think I would have a fun time tromping through the creek across the street and the wood trails. They're waterproof. Thought everything would be lovely. Stepped into the creek to try out the waterproofness. Broke my ankle immediately. Didn't wear the boots for two years while my ankle was healing and I was trying to get over everything. Then I had to fight a skunk in my backyard.

Can you pause this, Brian, for a second? Now, Jordan, you're not a homeowner. Kimberly, I don't know if you own a home there in Burbank, California, if you're renting. I'm renting. One of the big things about owning a home, which I do, I do here in Montecito Heights in Los Angeles, roughly. Here in Montecito Heights, a big part of the home owning experience is, of course, you have to worry about contractors or hiring an electrician when

something goes wrong. You can't just call the landlord um but one of the big things about it is you gotta fight these beasts homebeasts yeah these fuck this fucking wildlife is coming at you fast you gotta put up your dukes especially if you're in mountains oh yeah if you're talking about mountain beasts, holy cow, goats for one thing. Sure. That's probably the top mountain animal, wouldn't you say? I mean, bighorn sheep to a lesser extent. Rock monster. Rock monster, sure.

And maybe an osprey. Did you say rock lobster? No. That lives in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia. Rock monster. Fighting a skunk. I know that's the Munsters theme song. Yeah, it's okay.

Where'd you hear that? At Poobah Records there in Burbank, California? Right. It's a great place to casually hear the Munster's Deep Song. Okay, go ahead and press play, Brian. So, slapped on my trusty waterproof boots to go and lay down some repellent around my yard. And guess what? I slipped and sprained the same ankles that I broke at the very beginning of the pandemic.

So tell me, Jordan, Jesse, are my boots cursed? Love you guys. Take care. Love you too. Love you very much. It's an interesting question. I was going to say, I mean, I would think, say that like, did you leave them on for the threesome where everyone got mad at you?

Good indication. That would be. If the boots. I don't know. Usually, if everything goes great in the threesome, you'd think that it would bond the three of you for life. But if no one's talking to each other, it probably might be the boots. I think there's probably a fair number of people wearing boots in threesomes generally. I think they would be like a big heel boot, like a black patent leather or something like that.

You know what I'm talking about? That kind of thing. I think there's probably a fair amount of that. So you're talking more like people that are wearing the snm gear yeah well if you're good if you're if you're going and doing threesomes you might as well go whole hog as they say i mean because when when she says boots the image i'm getting are like i don't know timberlands okay so this is what i this is where i'm driving to first of all i can also see people wearing

timberlands in a in a threesome situation i can definitely see that going down because it's because they're very butch they better stay in one position on in some timberlands that's a good way to signal to your threesome partners, I'm only going to be in the one position. That's right. You play that position for this whole game because. You can do whatever you want to. Yeah, somebody's going to get hurt. Here's my question, though. If you were going to have a threesome and you were going to wear boots, I mean, it makes a lot of sense to wear the wellies. You know, she's got her waterproof. You you know she's got her waterproof you know she's

got her hunter boots on or something like that you know what i mean she's got her you know over the calf all creatures great and small boots on you know country veterinarian style that makes a lot of sense for that for a sexual situation you? Because there might be slick services. Right. Well, her fault for going outside, though, in wellies trying to put down repellent because they don't have the best traction. Those aren't traction boots. A lot of people talk, well, they put her in traction.

Okay. You're kidding, right? A lot of people talk about the popular fashion blog man repeller but let's talk about the popular boot blog skunk repeller i don't know the segment over you know that you know that kind of stuff that they do at like a boys and girls club, you know, where they give people like a reason to live and they inspire them to go to college and stuff like that, that they do at the boys and girls club in the neighborhood. We're the opposite of that. Whatever is the opposite, we're like a reverse boys and girls club.

We take adults and remove their ambition to do things for themselves in the community oh my god all of a sudden they're just putting on their wellingtons and heading to the dungeon all right 206-984-4FUN jjgoe at maximumfun.org we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Desigo. To share the highs and lows of their teen years. Like moments with Aisha Tyler. But when you're a kid, the stakes are just pretty low. Go to school, try not to get in trouble, get laid. Jameela Jamil. I watched television probably every waking hour during that time when I was shit-faced on medicine. And Dave Holmes.

We talked and talked and then everybody left. It was just us two and I was like, I love you. Learn how you too can be a functioning adult after the drama and heartbreak of high school. Every week on the JV Club with Janet Varney. Find it on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. This is a judgment-free show. We have wasted this world.

Our magic put a storm in the sky that has rendered the surface of our planet uninhabitable. But beneath the surface, well, that's another story entirely. In a city built leagues below the apocalypse, survivors of the storm forge paths through a strange new world. Some seek salvation for their homeland above. Others seek to chart the vast undersea expanse outside the city's walls. And others still seek, what else? Fortune and glory. Dive into the Aether Sea, the latest campaign from the Adventure Zone, every other Thursday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts.

It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Kimberly Clark, future mayor of Burbank. Probably the new vibe is just pickleball. It's like moms playing pickleball. Right. I'll take it. Yeah's like moms playing pickleball. Right. I'll take it.

Yeah. I like that. Yeah. It's like a smaller tennis. That's a nice one. It's like if tennis was smaller. Mm-hmm. Tennis without the stress.

Yeah, fucking so tired of this fucking rat race. Tennis specifically. Hell yeah. How about this for a vibe vibe let's split a pizza and a salad oh that's nice can we get arugula salad sure yeah that'd be great i feel like it goes great with pizza with a little shaved parmesan please yes see this is a great vibe everyone can everyone got excited when i said we should split a pizza and a salad quick question yeah i know that it's not keto but since we're doing a new vibe pitcher a root beer for the table all right why not can we turn it into a root beer float

yeah you got it absolutely we found it if okay zoomers i know you're all listening you love this podcast yeah you have a lot of life to waste take this is the new vibe split a pizza and a salad picture a root beer scoop ice cream for everybody it resonates guys I'm getting a telephone call. Hello, Jesse speaking. You don't have to mime it. Hello. You don't have to. I'm not miming. I'm answering my real telephone.

Oh, okay. Yeah. You don't have to. Hi, Jesse speaking. Oh, Zoomers, nice to hear from you. What's that? Splitting a pizza and a salad and getting a pitcher of root beer for the table that later after dinner you can turn into root beer floats it's not chuggy well i'm happy to hear that

sounds like it's a whole vibe goodbye they let me know that it's not chuggy and it's a whole vibe oh well that's good yeah well we did it validation fucking so tired of these tight clothes these fucking chuggy tight clothes latte drinking no pizza and salad splitting fucking chuggy ass the clothes are baggy now yeah clothes are baggy now jordan you gotta make guttally room for pizza it goes with the vine we're eating all this pizza that's the thing a pizza you can't eat a pizza by yourself yeah it's a little i mean you can it's a little gross after you get done but if you're splitting a pizza in a salad that's great split that way you don't have to get a personal pizza which has too much crust compared to the inside yeah you're sure you're absolutely right that's real talk right there none of this is

wrong i'm a fucking straight shooter i'm known for it i'm not gonna i'm not gonna be dissembling about something as important as splitting a pizza and a salad an arugula salad because it's got it you could just put a put a red wine vinegar vinaigrette on it. Dress it simply. It's just arugula, sliced tomatoes, Parmesan. Olive oil. Squeeze a lemon. Yeah. It's as simple as that. And the peppery flavor of the arugula is going to complement the pizza there.

I know. I know. Arugula is a triggering word for me right now because I planted arugula a year and a half ago but i didn't plan it for it to come up again but it did my my sister told me arugula was very prolific you're dealing with zombie arugula let me tell you something this thing is blooming i have arugula flowers i'll send you a picture this thing is it's out of control if you need arugula let me know i have done arugula all kinds of ways i've juiced it i've made arugula pesto which is delicious by the way that's okay so kimberly what do you do you put it

you put it in the blender there to juice it yeah? Yeah, with some powder, maybe some soy milk. No, that's not the vibe. We've already decided that's not the vibe. You blend it up. You pick it up. We've already decided that's not the vibe. Put a syringe in your rear end. Nope, that's not it.

Start pumping iron. That's not the vibe. Right there, it pokes your tushy with the juice. Oh, my God. That's not it start pumping right there pokes your tushy with the juice oh my god it's not the vibe not the vibe sorry splitting a pizza can we get what are we getting a deluxe uh i mean we can talk it over we don't need to decide on the pizza now and you know you can do different things on the halves you could do do half deluxe, half cheese. Yeah. You don't want any toppings at all, Kimberly? You know, I like my pizzas plain.

Sometimes I get a little adventurous. I like a good garlic pizza. That sounds nice. Delish. I could enjoy that. Let's do a garlic then. It seems like we're all happy with that. I would like sausage.

You're out of the vibe, Jesse. Sorry. Sorry. You got to set this vibe out you're out of the vibe. Sorry. Sorry. You got to sit this vibe out. You fell out the vibe. You got to wait till the sausage comes around. My butt on the way out of the vibe. Wait for that.

Wait till sausage and rap rock are back. Whatever, whatever four years is going to be. Oh, I fell out of the vibe vibe now i'm at a corn concert sorry my body hurts with that corn juicing and bumping okay uh kimberly clark uh watch her on they ready on uh on netflix's going to be a lot of fun. You're going to enjoy her stand-up comedy. Kim is a very, very funny comic. And you can catch her down there at Flappers.

Yeah, I'm at Flappers a lot. You know who you're going to see at Flappers with Kimberly Clark? You're going to catch Maria Bamford there. That's a classic Maria Bamford haunt. Yes. Want to see Jimmy Pardo? Want to see Lori Kilmartin? They're kicking it at Flappers.

Lori Kilmartin. You know what their flappers. Lori Kilmartin. You know what she's doing? Killing. True to her name. Brian Kiley. It's going to be great. These are all flappers' favorites. Fucking flappers.

And then you go get some of those meatballs at the Ikea. There's a little something called- I think that Ikea closed. Called a date night. I think the Ikea closed. What? Yeah. Where are you supposed to-

Do they still- Do they have the meatballs at flappers no there's there's a pile of meatballs behind the husk of the ikea oh my god this is how rumors get started it's true you can dive in from the roof jay leno built it and you know what He only did it with his stand-up money. That's what's amazing. Never touches the tonight. That's it.

Never touches it. So many meatballs. Kimberly Clark, been a joy to have you as always. Thank you for having me. Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez, Valerie Moffitt on the stream. We're over there on YouTube now, Jordan. You know, it used to be YouTube. Now it's me and JordanTube.

It's WeTube. Yeah. It's WeTube. We'll be live streaming our peepees. Yeah. That's PissTube. Oh, thank you. That's PissTube and there's a paywall. Sorry. WeTube.co.uk

is where you want to go yeah so watch you can watch us over there we're mostly recording Sunday evenings Pacific time so you can watch us live on YouTube Brian made some graphics it's fun oh that's great tune in see the graphics

206-9844 fun or jjgoe at maximumfun.org are our phone number and email address uh you can hear our theme music which is love you by the free design thanks to the free design and light in the attic records for letting us use that song it's a great song you should go listen to the free design they're're a great band. And we're on Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne. And we'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. love you