Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 729: Tiny Little Loads with Arnie Niekamp

Episode Date: March 14, 2022

Arnie Niekamp (Hello from the Magic Tavern) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of top soups, a wild Jamie Oliver song where he sings a recipe in a Jamaican accent, and the visual similarities between Duckman and George Jetson. 

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Do you think, did you know that in Scotland they call potatoes tatties? I did not know that. That's fun. Well, you're welcome. That's all I got for the show this week, so good night, everybody.

Yeah, I mean, that's... I mean, this is as good as the show gets, right? You know what? Can I throw something else in there? In Scotland, they got a soup called cock-a-leek-y soup. So a little cock-a-leek-y soup.

So a little cock-a-leek-y side of tatties. Yeah. You're eating good in Scotland. Maybe you put some tatties in your cock-a-leek-y. Where'd all these Scotland facts come from, Jesse? Are you thinking about... I mean, Scotland, baby. Wow. Right.

Where all good Scotland facts come from. Straight from the Loch Ness Monster's mouth. Ach, they're from Scotland. Yeah, that's all I really know about Scotland. Are you brushing up? Are you thinking about a trip out there? I'm just thinking about just like names for stuff that sounds like a dick or whatever, you know? Right.

Tatties, that could be testicles. Yeah, right. Yeah, so that would fall in the whatever category. And what's the name of the soup again? Kakaliki soup. Kakaliki. So, yeah, that's, I mean, you got your dick and balls right there. Kakaliki.

Oh, oh, oh, right in the tatties, dude. Oh, you caught it in the tatties. Oh, right in the kakaliki. If this was a movie that came out around, like, 2002, it would have somebody going, oh, by tatties. Yeah, caught it in the cock-a-leek-y. If this was a movie that came out around 2002, it would have somebody going, Oh, by Taddy's. Yeah, caught it in the Taddy's. How are you doing, buddy? I'm doing good.

I'm not learning about Scottish soups. So you're not doing that good. No, I had a lovely day. Mother came up to visit, and that's what I call it. Mother came to visit, and we had dumplings, and then we went to the Huntington Gardens. Nothing wrong with dumplings. There's no better food. Well, kakaliki soup.

Sure. Oh, my dumplings! Dumplings! Oh! What kind of dumplings did you have? We got an order of soup dumplings and then an order of standard dumplings. Oh, that's nice. That's nice.

Where'd you get those? Americana at Brand? No, we went to a Pasadena dumpling place, not part of a Mega Mall. Pie and Burger? Pie and Burger, yeah. If you ask them for 30 minutes straight, they'll make a dumpling. It's not usually on the menu. But if you're annoying enough and if you start crying, like a diaper baby,

somebody will go back and make you a soup dumpling. Pro tip, Jordan. Yeah. If you're going to get this soup dumplings at pie and burger get grilled onions yeah ask for the grass ask for an animal style i ask for everything animal style yeah except for my love making which i only do as a human because it would it would be blasphemous to do otherwise do you think god looks down on that yes it was sorry i mean it does yeah if you if you do anything animal like during your

lovemaking that's like an automatic hell ticket and jordan i don't need that do you have a favorite soup? Oh, I mean, I like many soups. Let's see. It sounds like you're just wasting time because you've never, you can't think of any types of soup. Okay, fine. All right. You know what, Jesse? I've never had soup. I've never had soup.

Okay. I ask for soup and no one gives it to me. I've tried to make soup and I just burned my hands. This one's for you, Sharon. I've tried to make soup and I just burned my hands. This one's for you, Sharon Gale Morris. What was your problem with wet foods when Jordan was growing up? Yeah, sorry. We were a solids

only house, even when I was a baby. I was not given... What are your top soups? Oh, let's see. So I'm gonna go a love of ramen. God, that is fucking good. Ramen is good. Good as hell.

You know, I don't like the weird egg in there. I mean, we've talked about I'm picky about the eggs, so I sometimes have to eat around the egg or ask them to not put the egg or give the egg to a friend. Man, I had a great ramen trip this week. Oh, yeah? Where'd you go? Well, I went out to my neurologist I got a new neurologist Shout out to Dorothy Dada

Right I went out to see my girl Double D In Santa Monica Don't call her that Don't call her that to her face Don't call her that She's so smart and dignified. Yeah.

Hey, my neurology is up here, she says. My brain is up here. That's good. I went to see Dr. Dorothy Dada. And she's out there in Santa Monica. It took me. That's so funny. I go to see her sister, Morothy Mama,

who has a different last name. Yeah, all right. Fair enough. Why not? Yeah. Just talking about stuff on the podcast. What's a podcast if not saying words?

That's what unites every podcast, Jesse. I went out to Santa Monica and once in a while i'll be thinking like oh living in los angeles they all everyone talks about is traffic but traffic is not a big part of my life i don't know why everybody's talking about traffic and then you drive to a little track then you had a little traffic community of santa monica it takes you 90 minutes sure so i got out got out there to Santa Monica, and I felt like I wanted to make it count. Oh, yeah. Yeah, when you spend a bunch of time in traffic and then just do one thing, you're like, fuck, I only did one thing?

Do another thing. So I went to the— Just go to a Barnes & Noble and use the bathroom. Yeah. Boom, two things. I did a second thing. I went to a thrift store. There you go.

That's my main move when I'm going somewhere. Great activity. Great activity. I'm like, when am I going to get back out there? So I went to the thrift store, and then it occurred to me I was getting peckish. I'm like, oh, I'm going to triple dip this. Nice. Three activities.

The classic trip. Well, this was a triple triple, which was my third activity was three activities in one. Oh, my gosh. I went to the Japanese grocery store. Yep. Bought myself some strawberry pandas and some chewy style candy and some

Pockys and some mayonnaise and some other shit that I saw. Something called Premium Boss Coffee. You dipped the Pockys into the mayonnaise.

Oh, you got it. Yeah. Because of the savory flavor of that mayonnaise. Oof. So I went to the Japanese grocery store. Inside that Japanese grocery store is a ramen restaurant. Mm-hmm. Fucked up some ramen.

Yeah. There you go. I fucking destroyed it. Check out these activities. That's worth the 90 minutes. Did you have the egg? Do you like the egg? I love the egg.

All right, man. If we ever get ramen, you can take my egg. Then I hit up the Japanese bookstore to buy myself some of my favorite Japanese fashion magazines. Yeah, what a fun day. Yeah, I treated myself.

You deserve it. You work hard. You work hard. Treat yourself. When I was in the Japanese... Spoil your inner child. When I was in the Japanese magazine store, the Kinokuniya,

I wanted to get some of my favorite mags. Yeah. Second. Yeah. Second. Mm-hmm. Lightning. Mm-hmm. Popeye. Right.

And I'm going in there, and I'm looking at the thing, and I'm not seeing Popeye. Yeah. I'm like, man, I want to read Popeye. Sure. They had Men's X, but they didn't have Popeye. Yeah. How are you going to learn about the hot new chicken sandwiches? Yeah.

So while I'm looking... It's weird that the Popeye's restaurant does not... None of its branding features the character Popeye. Yeah. Does Popeye mean something else, or is Popeye only the Sailor Man? I think Popeye had the Popeye license and lost it. Uh-huh. But you can still lost it uh-huh but you can still call it popeye but you can't feature yeah i think popeye used they used to have popeye and popeyes

or at least bluto or whatever his name is right i killed popeye and it's my restaurant now so i'm standing there looking at this magazine rack, Jordan. Yeah. Wishing there was a Popeyes in there and thinking, should I go to the front and ask for a Popeyes? And just for context, in the Japanese bookstore, there are some beautiful design books and little gifts. But basically, you're just talking about 16-year-olds buying manga. So there's a whole manga area. Yeah.

That's what 16 year old, I guess from what I understand, manga is saving all brick and mortar businesses. Like that's the only reason there are still buildings standing where one can do commerce is because they have, they've shoveled in some manga. God is buying manga at the T-Mobile store? Sure. I'm standing there thinking...

Head down to Stater Brothers. Get a little One Piece. Should I go ask if there's Popeye, you know? Mm-hmm. And I just... The counter is maybe 8, 10 feet to my left. And I just hear this voice saying, Excuse me.

Oh, excuse me. Do you have... Do you have any copies of Popeye magazine? And I looked over there and there was just a fucking white necktie dweebus. And then I realized who I was. Wait. Just a necktie dweebus in their japanese bookstore asking if they have popeye wait did you see was this a was this like your dark twin or did you just realize

oh okay just a guy in a barber jacket and a necktie just a real fucking dweebus Yeah At the counter there saying Excuse me, pardon me Do you have, do you happen to have a cubby of oily boy? And then did you two automatically start hating each other Because of some small difference that no one else would notice? We had a sword fight with our dicks Okay Yeah Should we introduce our guest?

I'd love to Our guest on the program is uh one of the i'll say uh host performers uh the the entertainers that make up the program hello from the magic tavern arnie knee camp hi arnie how are you hey i'm doing well thank you for having me on i also like that you sort of underlined a central thing i was thinking about myself today is that everything i do is hard to explain like every aspect every aspect of my life is like not total like not like impossible to explain but it's just sort of like is always going to be a little bit of a road bump yeah people ask me what show i do when i tell them

i'm a podcaster if they say i say oh i'm i'm a podcaster so what what show do you do and i'm like well i host a public radio show where i interview artists they nod and then i'm like and then me and my friend from college have this show where we say dick words um yeah arnie the latter is more successful uh arnie i think the example that i think we're all kind of in a similar boat here we're similar men similar similar dweebuses look we're just a group of oily boys over here sure just asking for a pop asking for our popeyes um you know i think the example that i think we give a lot is that it is so it is so hard to explain what this is to an aunt you were seated next to at a wedding honestly jordan this arnie's a little less this right here hard to explain to the people

who are listening right now they're sitting there wondering what am i doing why have i made this choice i could just be listening to radio lab um arnie what do you tell people when when you're at a wedding and you have to tell them what you do for a living uh if i talk about the podcast i usually i almost sort of just try to avoid it because it's uh like it's it's so you know it's a i'm like this is an improvised fantasy podcast and like immediately it's like every word could turn someone off like like oh god uh and then i'm like, and I play myself and like, it's just, it's very complicated. And so I sort of avoid it. Um, so then sometimes, you know, I'll, I, I, by day I make video games, so I'll sort

of tiptoe into that, but I generally like try to make it seem interesting enough that I'm interesting, but not interesting enough that there are follow-up questions where I have to start like going down the road of explaining every sort of bit of it. Yeah. The follow-up is where it gets dodgy. But yeah, you do, Arnie, you work for, you work for Jackbox Games. Yeah. I have been there for like 15, 16 years, been there for like 15 16 years uh sort of directing designing writing uh video games where people draw boobs and dicks uh and share them with their friends we uh we played we played jackbox games at the max fun christmas party we had a virtual christmas party this year played uh some games and, played some games.

And there were some games where you had to come up with a witticism. And I just got creamed by like our accounting department. Just absolutely just, Valerie is on the stream here. She's nodding because she remembers, I just got fucking destroyed. And you know who... But your accounting department is Bruce Valanche, though, right?

Celebrity Bon Monster. Yeah. Bruce Valanche. Just got absolutely destroyed. Is that what you designed Jackbox games for to make me look bad? Yeah, specifically. Every Monday we come in and we're like, what's a new way? What's another game that could really bring Jesse Thorne his comeuppance in one way or another?

other the real like the thing we're really striving for for the party pack nine which we're working on now is a game about uh fancy clothes and baseball that you'll still do bad that's like can we achieve that well you know i'm gonna do bad at it i don't have the latest issue of popeye that's true can i this is a slight side tangent from what you were saying before. It's crazy to think that Popeye's had Popeye and lost it. Isn't that like McDonald's losing Ronald McDonald? Did you think Popeye's chicken invented Popeye

the Sailor Man? Is that what you're telling us? Did Popeye's get Popeye? Do you think there was a guy named Frank Popeye who started a Louisiana-style fried chicken restaurant, had some success, thought, I'm going to extend this brand into newspaper comics, a cartoon series, and eventually a Robert Altman film? I mean, I'd like to live in that world. I'm starting to suspect maybe I'm wrong. Do you guys think Robert Altman, when he was laying out his career, he was like, I'm going to make MASH. I'm going to make Nashville, McCabe and Mrs. Miller.

I want to do adaptations too. How about Popeye and a Prairie Home Companion? Can't nail me down. Man, Altman was early to the game. What is Popeye but a fucking comic book movie? Oh, yeah. Would you say that's the first comic book movie, Jordan? Popeye?

Yes, I would say that. I agree. I think it is. And I think Popeye is our nation's greatest superhero. Yeah. I mean, I think it's single moms, but. Okay, fair enough. We can disagree on that.

Arnie, can I make a. Get them to team up, single moms and Popeye. That's my Avengers. My Avengers. My Avengers aren't some CGI guy named Chris. Okay? My Avengers. I don't know.

Which guy's named Chris? Most Avengers. Oh. I have no idea. A lot of Chris's. Okay. A lot of Chris's. Arnie, can I make a...

Take my word for it. You don't need me to list the Chris's. Can I make a suggestion, just speaking of licensing for Jackbox games. So this is like a party situation. You're looking for fun games, but you're out of ideas. So why not license the Nintendo Wii game Imagine Party Babies? I'm listening. Yeah. So this is a game where you have you have your own baby and you compete in baby games baby competitions you know how at like a nursery or something

they they make the babies fight and do competitions sure bet on it on the side it's just a simulator of that basically imagine colon party babies but oh arnie babies is spelled with a z i almost forgot to mention that okay b-y-z okay yeah imagine party babies for the wii yeah for nintendo wii but this would Wii. But this would be playable on Zoom or on the web. It would have to be. Office Christmas parties. Do you remember any of the specific mini-games

in Imagine Party Babies? Like Crawling Fast was one. Suckling. Hit A to suckle is this is imagine because you say imagine colon party babies is yeah is this part of an a large a larger imagine franchise like imagine colon party babies but is there also like imagine colon hate dogs you know like is there just other but they eventually lost the John Lennon connection. They had John Lennon at the beginning, and then they lost it.

Guys, I'm going to give you a quick gameplay overview, if you guys don't mind. Yeah, no, that sounds great. So the first thing you're asked to do when you begin your Imagine Party Babies experience, be it single or multiplayer, is to customize your baby with style um so you should put that in there arnie customizing my baby with style um it says you know the customization options are extensive allowing you to not only choose what your baby wears i.e clothing and accessories right i was expecting you guys to say that with me but it's fine.

But also their physical appearance, allowing you to change their hairstyle, as well as the look of their eyes. Oh. So that's pretty good. Once you're happy with how your baby looks, because God knows babies care about their looks. Am I uptight because doing this would make me feel like a creepazoid? Like dressing up a digital baby like this. Examples of what to expect include whack-a-mole, changing diapers, brushing teeth, counting sheep, and carefully rocking the baby cradle backwards and forwards with the Wiimote. Hmm. the baby cradle backwards and forwards with the weemote.

Is the whack-a-mole, like, are you whacking the baby's heads as they pop up? Yeah, I think probably. Or maybe there's babies. There's moles in there. You got to keep them away from the goddamn babies. Do you think the screen just says, look, it's a Wii game. We have to do whack-a-mole. We didn't really come up with a reason why.

It's amazing that- By obtaining high scores, Jordan, in the minigames, the player is rewarded with in-game currency, which can subsequently be spent on more costumes to customize your baby with. So Alien, Gladiator, Pirate, Caveman, and Knight styles, each more adorable than the last. It is really crazy that they stole so much of this stuff for The Last of Us 2. Like, people talk about that game like it's a, you know, like it's a masterpiece.

But they just stole so much of this stuff. Jordan, are there any babies in Elden Ring? Oh, let's see. Elden Ring, yes. Or also party babies or regular babies. Yeah, thank you. That's an important distinction. Jesse, would you say that, and before I answer this,

would you say that any of your children were party babies? Well, more like, I mean, there was a period where Gracie would go upstairs to my bedroom, disappear into my closet, and then come out with my shoes on and she would just walk around going, shoosh, shoosh, shoosh. I mean, that's a party. That sounds like a mini game to me. Yeah, right? Yes, so Elden Ring, the new high fantasy adventure from FromSoftware. I don't think there's any babies. I don't think you play as a baby. You're lowly tarnished of no renown, of course.

We all know that, so that's not... Right. The top. The top. Yeah, there's a gross giant with kind of a butthole in his middle. Does he poop out of it? Not that I... I mean, you never know with these games. But you're only a couple hours in.

Yeah, there's a day-night cycle, so it might poop at night, which is when I like to poop. Relatable. Yeah, there's... let's see margaret the fell omen does she do god rick the famous baby did um no uh-uh uh just kind of hit you with a big stick that's an aoe attack are there any aoe's and party babies what's an aoe attack am i uh yeah i actually i actually don't know what aoe stands for it's a it's like a it's it's like a video game terminology for like an attack that like like a blast radius like if you made like a blast radius ah valerie put in the chat area of effect thank you valerie so it's like a you know like an energy blast that kind of blasts out you guys know what i'm talking

about right you guys can picture this blast yeah glad i asked i wanted to return to now that we've cracked the we've we've solved the mystery of the AOE. I wanted to return to a topic from a previous episode that has proved to be rather hot. I wanted to get Arnie's opinion on it. Okay. Arnie, when you do laundry, how do you feel about a tiny little load? Did I find in the laundry? When you're doing your laundry, just a little bit of a load. I mean, I prefer it's tiny.

You know, it's got to be cleaned. you know it's got to be cleaned uh i uh usually err on the side of doing a lot of laundry but you know what it does feel good to sometimes do a small i'm trying to think of a ad i'm trying to think of a a synonym for load a small batch like a small batch of a batch of laundry what's that jesse what's the typical volume on your loads well look first of all as a family man i'm dealing with more than just my own like it's not just my load i guess i'd say especially if you've got teenagers teenage boys yeah are dirty it's true uh you know i would say above average load okay but you know i'm humble you know what i've found i don't know if you guys have found this but i sometimes will do small loads like every day but if i wait for like a week i end up with

a huge load yeah i mean i my loads got bigger after i started buying these supplements from alex jones laundry supplements yeah sure well you know laundry supplements yeah from alex jones the conspiracy yeah listen the guy's wrong about a lot of stuff but not about laundry supplements color when i'm doing laundry i always have to remember like do i care about any of the settings like do i need to get a stain out because i've got a cock-a-leek-y stain or something in my laundry? Arnie, I think my favorite part of that thing that you just said was at the end when you said laundry.

Yeah. I was like, oh boy, it's going to take me a while to get around to setting up saying laundry in this scenario, but I can do it. You know what? In the future, if we meet an aunt at a wedding, we should just play them this. Yeah. They're like, oh, now I understand. Okay.

Arnie, for you, for your benefit, we were on a previous episode. Jesse and I both discovered that we both love to do a tiny little load of laundry because it's kind of manageable it's not a day killer you can just do a couple of like you know things you know you're going to need for the week um you know folding doesn't doesn't doesn't take a ton of time you can dry it kind of quick um and you know while we acknowledge that this might not be the best thing for the environment, it's, you know, we're all doing our best here. And sometimes you just got to do a tiny little load of it, you know, if it's going to help your mental health going forward. Sometimes it's relaxing to just do a tiny load.

Sure. Get a little. I will never. I will say this. I will never do all of my laundry i have never gotten to what laundry zero like it's always uh but i mean this proved to be if you know my menchies were any indication uh i was called a monster really for? For my laundry. Because you're destroying the environment? I don't know.

Because you have a butthole in your middle? Yeah. Exactly. And I'm proud of my middle butthole. I think it's beautiful. You know, I think a lot of my loads could be described as an AOE. Right. I think a lot of my loads could be described as an AOE.

Right. You're a regular God rip the grafted over there with your AOE. I destroyed the environment this week too. I have been, since I moved into this house that I live in, I've been been resenting do you know these kind of dribble drabble over your head shower heads uh like just like a weak shower head is this no like the kind that's straight right over your head let's coming from the sky and then it dribble drabbles on you like raindrop like little raindrops Like you get it in a disappointing fancy hotel. I think I, I mean, I've experienced an overhead shower in a, yeah, in like a Marriott.

Bonvoy, everyone. Bonvoy to you all. Bonvoy to you, George. Bonvoy, everyone. Bonvoy, Arnie. Bonvoy, listeners. Marriott. Arnie Bonvoy. Bonvoy.

Bonvoy. Bonvoy. Arnie Bonvoy Bonvoy So I've experienced But I In all of the ones I've experienced Have been, dare I say, rather powerful Really?

Yeah They have not been a dribble-drabble They've been a deluge A torrent Much like the spectral steed You get an Elden Ring To traverse up to... Anyway.

Shut up, Jordan. I must obtain the Flask of Wondrous Physick. To scale Stormvale Castle and defeat Godric the Grafted. Fuck you, Jordan. Jordan, I gotta be honest. I love this shit. Thanks, man. Well, I shall send you a flask of wondrous

Physic my lad Arnie you know You know what I'm talking about where it dribble drabbles Straight down on top of the top of your head The dribble drabble I mean yeah it looks like A cookie sheet or something over your head And it just kind of like

Drips water So I had one of these by the way Cops pulling up on my block cookie sheet or something over your head and it just kind of like yeah drips water yeah so i had one of these by the way cops uh pulling up on my block just completely right in front of my house um but uh the dribble drabble i had a dribble drabble at my house since i moved in and i fucking hate it i hate this dribble drabble so much it was it just it was it it did you install it or was it come with the house? No, it 100% came with the house, and it was a weird color, so it was hard to... I couldn't figure out how to change it, because it was bronze colored.

I'm like, what the fucking... Showerheads aren't bronze. Well, if they get their place... You have to go to a special bronze house shit store to buy it. a special bronze house shit store to buy it so um i hate it because you have to kind of wait for the water to bounce on your head go down the side of your head go down your shoulders and then all the way into your butt crack to get your butt clean there's no other way to do it is it possible your shower's just trying to do a small load it's like to do a tiny little load makes the week easier so i went on i went on reddit uh the popular discussion website for nazis and others and um

although like popeyes they lost the other. Yeah. So I went on Reddit. Great chicken sandwich over there at Reddit. Yeah. I searched for, you know, Reddit comma shower. Right. And I was like, some fucking dude on Reddit has a scheme about showers showers and i'm just gonna do the scheme you're gonna coast off us yeah you coast off somebody else's scheme because some there's somebody who's like oh all you got to do is you get a pressure washer and that you know what i mean like just

there's somebody with a with a whole fucking thing that's like you got to get one of those loud speakers but not the kind with the trigger on it that like police use to disperse a crowd. The conical kind that old timey male cheerleaders use. You know what I mean? I just knew there would be a scheme and I found out the right kind of showerhead to get. But this showerhead is illegal in the state of California. This is not legal. Is it a ferret that you hook up to your pipes?

Are you in a Flintstones house or something? Yeah, they say it's a living. So I had to go. I tried to buy it on Amazon, but Amazon wouldn't sell it to me. Why is it illegal? Because it blasts too hard. Oh, sure. Oh, right.

I guess we do. California does have drought issues. I guess that's why I'm illegal in California. Hell yeah. I blast too hard. Got to stay in Chicago, Arnie. I know. You can blast as loud as you want in Chicago.

Going down to Wrigley Field. Blasting loud. I went on eBay and bought a – I tried to buy a new one, but they wouldn't sell it to me even on eBay. So I bought a used one. I went and got this bronze used it's called a speak man any stream um it's the same one that uh macaulay culkin used in home alone it's got the volume adjustment to it's called a speak like it's the literal one from no it's it's just it's just called a speak man yeah and then i got it you're trying you're making a joke about talk boy talk boy thank you no problem so i put the i put this thanks jordan um it actually didn't

exist when they made the movie but the movie was so popular they actually made it oh holy shit so um cool huh that's a cool thing to. And yet you can't explain your own podcast to people in your life. I'm too busy coming up with Home Alone facts. Too busy memorizing Home Alone facts. Some people say that podcasters are a type of dweebus, but I think you just proved them wrong. Yeah. You're a motorcycle cool guy. That's true.

Vroom, vroom. Just like Marlon if you can read this the podcast fell off brando pulls up in his in his fucking taxi cab guy leather hat his jacket on his motorcycle and he goes, vroom, vroom. So I got this, I got the shower head and came in the mail secondhand. And I tried it out and it wasn't good enough. So Pop Pop was here. That's my father-in-law. And he and I did the final step of the scheme which was uh you take a wood screw and you screw it into the you know where the the hole where the water goes into the shower head in its own little pipe you screw a screw into that in right square in the middle of that hole

and then you yank on the screw and it takes out all of the inside of the showerhead so there's nothing getting in the way of the blast and then you fucking put that shit on there and it is a o e city jesse i know i know you mentioned that the you there were police sirens outside your house. They're here for the showerhead. And he just confessed. Fuck. This is a sting.

Yep. This has all been a sting. Oh, shit. You know who does a big load is Sting. It's true. Isn't it? I think it's like... Eventually.

The Sting, yeah. The Sting tantric sex thing, it's so crazy that that's just a joke you can make and people know what you're talking about. Like people, like it's just kind of common knowledge that it takes the bass player from the police a long time to come. It's just a of common knowledge that it takes the bass player from the police a long time to come it's just a joke you could make where did i don't even know why anyone thinks that or why

that has ce i don't know if his songs are about it if he talks like why do we know that it takes sting a long time to come i would posit that it's got to be in the top four things, if not less, that most people word associate when they hear Sting. Yeah, I think so, too. I think you're absolutely right, Arnie. I was thinking about Sting today. And I'm going to have to do a share my sound, share my screen thing here with you guys. So our friend Ben Partridge from the Beef and Dairy Network podcast shared this video that reminded me of Sting. Are you guys familiar with the British lad chef Jamie Oliver?

Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit so this is him um this is him he's like he's doing what's appears to be an arena show he seems to be like like a fucking celine dion he's on stage he's just fucking surrounded by thousands of people and he's got a cooking setup you know julia child style um and he's fucking cooking and then they he has this song that's him singing. He's not lip syncing to the singing.

He's just cooking along to what he is singing. Does that make sense? So he's singing? He's singing on the live speaker. He's singing and cooking. On the loud speaker. Right. So you hear him singing and see him not singing, just cooking.

Okay. But he's cooking along to the song. To himself singing. Yeah. Get yourself a pan and get it hot. Get your lovely lamb and slice it up. Walk in with some mustard seeds, two teaspoons will do. Wait until they pop and they spit at you then a teaspoon of fennel quick is nice

so this is like a this is like a is this actually to the tune of a police song or is this just like a style parody i i think he's doing the same thing as Sting. Like, I don't think this is a parody of the police. I think he, like Sting, he believes himself to be able to be Jamaican. Oh, my. And in the audience are these British people. And in the audience are these British people. Just with the most desultory clapping you've ever seen in your life.

Just these English people just staring at him and clapping almost randomly, but very slowly. Mm-hmm. Now he's trying to get everyone to sing along with him. Do they know the song? No. Was this a hit? Was this like one of those British Christmas hits? Give it to me hot. Wow.

Yeah, that's no good. Although this might be the only way I can remember a recipe. Yeah, that's no good. Although this might be the only way I can remember a recipe. Yeah, that's true. What's the dish that he's making? It's something with curry leaves and lamb. I mean, honestly, it looks pretty good. Yeah, I mean. I'm not going to lie to you guys.

I mean, I don't know if I'm going to cook along to the song, but it does look pretty nice. You can see how he helps foster the gastropub movement. He really can. He really can. If it gets stuck in your head, though, you're just cooking and you forget. You're like, how does this next part go? Put the leaves into the pot. Is it three tablespoons or four tablespoons?

Two tablespoons will do. I don't have that problem of it getting stuck in my head because I'm always singing the Alan Thicke song, Sweaty and Hot, from the Aerobics Championships. It's a great recipe for chili, actually. Okay, we're going to take a break. We'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective

you know jordan we are grateful for the members of MaximumFun.org for they are the ones who allow us to make this program. Every single one of them, we offer our gratitude, but primarily the ones that listen to this show.

Yeah. All this fucking beef and dairy only members can go suck a lemon. Yeah. What are you doing? Listen to this, too. Yeah.

You can't hear this. Listen to this, too. It'll suffer in comparison. We're also this week supported by the good folks at Raycon. If you're looking for high quality, reasonably priced, in-ear music delivery devices, heck, you can use them for podcasts, too. Look no further than the good products of the good people at Raycon. I love my Raycon wireless earbuds, Jesse. I think I probably use them every day. Every single day, I'm jamming those Raycons in my ears.

They have not fallen out once. You get a perfect fit because there's all the different sizes. Yeah, there's so many. There's all these gel tips for the perfect in-ear fit. They're so comfortable. They are that piece of technology in my life. When I use it, I'm like,

this works exactly how I want it to. You know when you have something and you use it and it works like you want it to? Yeah. That's Raycon for me. I love these things. They're great. Raycon, colon, the reverse printer. Yeah, exactly.

Yes, that's exactly it. You know how a printer doesn't quite work how you want it to? Yeah. You're never getting a printer situation with Raycons. They sound great. They stay in your ears. I use it to run. I use it to go on long walks.

Always sounds good. Yeah, they're great, Raycons. And you can get a deal on them like this. Right now, Jordan Jesse Go listeners can get 15% off their raycon order at buyraycon.com slash jj go that's buyraycon.com slash jj go to save 15 on raycons buyraycon.com slash jj go we're also supported by the good people at stitch fix This is a website store. You go there, they give you questions about what kind of clothes you like and what

kind of body you've got. Click, click, click, click, click. I like this. I don't like that. It's pretty fun. I'm not going to lie to you. Pretty fun clicking on the different things. It is fun. I like this one. I don't like that one. This one or that one, this one or that one, this one or that one. Very fun. Then at the end of it uh they make a special store for you with stuff you might like

and or they mail you a box of stuff you might like you don't have to keep any of it it comes with a return thing comes with a little bag you put it in to return it all you got to do is slap it in there and throw it at the mailman uh once you've done that you got all the perfect clothes yeah uh stitch fix it's a ton of fun to shop at i love to do it um yeah if you don't want to like you know go to a mall and browse around a million stores and have to smell all those food court smells you know the ones a hot dog on a stick for example actually that is a good smell it is a pretty good smell god do you think we should write a letter to stitch fix and see if they can get one of those

lemonade plungers oh yeah they wear those hats and they work that plunger? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Listen, okay. Go to the mall, grab the corndog, grab your lemonade, but then go right home and just log on to Stitch Fix and shop there. It's an easier, better, more fun way to get great clothes. To get started, take a style quiz so Stitch Fix can learn your preferences from your favorite colors to preferred fits and price ranges. Jordan, you know what? I did all my clicking. You know what they sent me? Exactly what I wanted. One of

those hot dog on a stick hats. Amazing. You know how tall that hat is? It's like a tall beanie. It's got nine cinnabons. And I look great in them. You do look hot. I was noticing that you look good you look icy yeah i mean icing sorry yeah i look icing man the drip on jordan right now it's actually icing

dripping off me yeah it's hot in there yeah uh get started today by filling out your freestyle quiz this is just what Stitch Fix wanted when they agreed to sponsor Jordan. We also forgot to sing the song parody they didn't ask us to write. Get started today by filling out your freestyle quiz at stitchfix.com slash JJGO

and get free shipping and returns. That's stitchfix.com slash jjgo and get free shipping and returns. That's stitchfix.com slash jjgo. Hey, Jesse and listeners, just a quick note to anybody out there who has not, for some reason, gotten a copy of the

Bubble graphic novel based on the hit Sci-Fi Comedy Max Fun podcast, or if maybe you have gotten it or read it and want to give it as a gift to a curious comics fan in your life. Like some sort of curious George. Like some sort of curious George. If you have a curious George in your life,

just put on your yellow hat. If you have a curious George in your life, just put on your yellow hat. Our buddy Sarah Morgan was visiting from the UK, and we went to Book Soup here in LA and signed a bunch of bubbles. So there's a stack of bubbles that have both of our signatures on them. So it's a collector's item. This is the only stack that has both the signatures uh so yeah if that's something that you want uh if you live in la you can head over to book soup but they ship anywhere in the world so no matter where you are if you want one of these things uh just go to their

website or give them a call book soup great indie bookstore and you can get a copy of the book signed by both me and sarah yeah well jordan you're not the only one who can plug stuff plug let's hear it go to put this on shop.com and buy dark crystal trading cards whoa oh man i wasn't prepared for you to totally demolish my plug go to fucking put this on shop.com get some fucking dark crystal trading cards and you know what while you're at it why don't i get some fucking yo mtv raps cards because i got them shits too. Oh man. Yeah.

So good. Yeah, fucking better than you can fucking imagine. That's how fucking good it is. All right, that's all. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

A Jordan Morris boy detective. Arnie Niekamp, 80% fictional. Really? What are we looking at on the other 20? This is you explaining your podcast at a wedding? Pretty much. Got it. The other 20 are like anecdotes that are mostly true yeah primarily true and then there's an extra 10 of just uh

making jesse look like a dumbass in front of his employees you gotta have you gotta have goals yeah you look like a fucking clown do i look like a clown yeah i do now because of your fucking game well can you imagine though i at work i have to play these games like the play tests and have to it makes it i enjoy doing it but like playing it with like all departments and so if if you're in the writing department no one cares if you do well like at the funny writing game but they definitely care if you do badly which i do frequently so yeah arnie can i recommend just don't play against fucking kira because she's going to destroy you being funny isn't even her thing if it was danny danny's known for being funny in the business office kira's just nice she likes hiking she likes to go hiking

fucking destroyed me anyway but all jesse it's not arnie's fault that you don't um you don't mute yourself when you fart that's on that that embarrassment's on you that's on yet that embarrassment's on you uh when something momentous happens to you give us a call 206-984-4FUN or just send us a voice memo jjgoe at maximumfun.org here's an example of a momentous occasion hey jordan jesse go this is tony in tumwater, Washington. I'm calling actually back in 2012. You featured my momentous occasion when we adopted our son from

the country of Uganda in Africa. I'm calling 10 years later with an update because he just won a big horse show competition and won two huge ass belt buckles for two different championships so somehow i've raised a black cowboy um so yeah pretty proud of little guy and and jordan yeah

you do you got to get a son bye love you man you look like a real ass i'm work i'm working on it jordan get a son dude i gotta get a son i'm working on it ar Jordan, get a son, dude. I got to get a son. I'm working on it. Arnie, these are my catchphrases. How are you going to? Have you considered getting a daughter? Does it have to be a son? It's a great question. And I've been thinking about it.

And, you know, I don't want to gum up the works in terms of catchphrase. I think I've got to get a son has already been established. Obviously, whatever child I get get however they express their gender is going to be great with me i'm just happy to have this fictional child yeah and you know i think for now we're going to stick with i gotta get a son but i mean you know you know, no matter what I got, what I get after I got to get it, I'm going to be happy. And no matter, no matter how it turns out, I'm working on it. Oh, I forgot to mute myself.

Jordan, can I tell you something that I'm a little worried about? If you do get a daughter. Yeah. how are you going to cover that dowry? I've started raising the sheep for my daughter's dowry. How many tracts of land do you have? Yeah. Not enough. Let's talk about textiles. What have you got to offer?

Not enough. I mean, she should be lucky to be married off to the blacksmith's apprentice at this rate. Yeah. Oh, so now we're talking about child rearing. I wanted to go back to a to a previous point in the conversation. Arnie, we were off stream. We were talking about you're you're the you're the dad of a seven year old. Was your child a party baby? seven-year-old um was your child a party baby ah yeah but we got her into rehab and one day at a time arnie one day at a time she's hanging out with leonardo dicaprio and topher grace the party babies the part is it possible the graphics are terrible? I mean, I would have to imagine it's probable the graphics in Imagine Party Babies is terrible.

And that they were just like, look, we'll just put Imagine at the front of it. No one's going to believe these are party babies. They're so low poly. Imagine they were party babies. imagine they were party babies our producer you wish your kid was a higher poly that's the dream gotta get a high poly son

but you know every stage whatever you wish for when you get it you're like oh this is harder now it's harder that my child is a higher poly I want to congratulate this child on the belt buckles i want to congratulate this parent on still listening to this show a lot of people don't make it to the second in fact a lot of people don't make it through the first um it's an arduous journey, but you've- And even more people than that don't know it exists. Yeah.

You've grinded it out. You got a lot of XP now. I think you can take on the big boss. Yeah. Do you think- Would you be interested, Jordan, to hear momentous occasion updates? I would. And this is-

Yeah. And we'll credit our producer, Brian, for this idea. It's a lovely idea. Why are we doing that? I just thought it would be fair. No, he gets paid for his ideas. We get to keep and use them. No, here's the thing, Jesse.

If we start- Their work's for hire, Jordan. Here's the thing. If we start crediting him, we don't have to pay him. That's how the new entertainment economy works he's doing this for credit it's like writing a buzzfeed article got it i don't know if they pay people this is brian you're getting a lot of exposure out of exposure yes but we shouldn't overlook the skilled job that jesse does of making it sound like that was his idea in the moment. It's a little something called hosting, Arnie.

We're all good. Everyone's good. Brian's good. Jesse's good. We're all good. Everyone's good. Brian's my beautiful baby boy. He's a beautiful baby.

But yes, I think this is a great way to take a little trek down memory lane. We have been doing this show a long fucking time, and some momentous occasions may have updates, like this one. So if you've called in with a momentous occasion in the past and you have some new information, some new wrinkles, some new belt buckles. If your thruple has become a quadruple yes if your thruple has become a single is there a preferred window of time of like like what's the minimum amount of

time before you want a progress report great question um we need just anything to play on the show anything to do at all. Yeah. So anything, I think, we'll take. But, I mean, I think what I would love to see is, like, I think five years is great. That's enough time for, like, something to happen, for things to progress. But, honestly, I think any update is a good update if it's good. I'd take six months if there are fast-moving developments. Right. You know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. I want to hear something's going down, though. Sure. Yeah, something's got to be going down. It can't just be like, oh, the thruple went to Disneyland. Yeah, we know. We know the thruple went to Disneyland.

Of course the thruple went to... Where the fuck are they going to go? competition that sounds fun i i'll say throupling does sounds like something you would do with could with a horse like ah i'm learning throupling something like something mitt romney's wife does. Mitt Romney's wife does. That's exactly what I was about to say. Listen, we all know Mitt Romney's wife does dressage, and it takes the bass player from the police a long time to come. These are the two things we know. Yeah, the top four things I know about Mitt Romney's wife.

We got some context on that. First of all, we got an overall context update. I, of course, did this, not Brian. And so just to fill in the listener, first of all, apparently Sting just brought up tantric sex one time when he was drunk. And now everyone thinks that he takes a long time to come. He probably blasts super fast um for all we know uh and also i mean this is just a freelance update for me there's plenty of talk about sting doing tantric sex not enough talk about him playing the loot um that to me is the number

one thing about sting uh is that he just for a while was like fuck this i'm playing a loot now that's actually part of his tantric sex what you know you have you you you dip it a little bit, you pull it out, you play some early music. Yeah. And after you've played, you know, once trowned the maypole, or whatever you play on a lute, twice round the maypole, It's pronounced trowned.

Trowned, sorry. Once trowned the Maple Then you stick it back in Everybody has a great time I know about all this Jordan, I've read Beowulf Yeah, it's all there in Beowulf Once Trowned the Maple

Quote Beowulf. Yes, before he slew Grendel. Beowulf, the horniest poem. We also have an update on Popeye's chicken. The founder of Popeye's chicken claimed that he named Popeye's chicken not after Popeye the sailor man but rather after Gene Hackman's character from the French connection which is as weird as it is to name a fried chicken restaurant after Popeye the sailor man who only eats spinach one he was associated with one specific food that you don't serve.

Yeah. It would be weird. It's not as weird as naming it after Gene Hackman's character from The French Connection. Well, he almost named the restaurant Lex Luthor's. Yeah. Hoosiers. He named it. Welcome to my fried chicken restaurant conversations but is it fair to say that popeye doyle from the french connection his nickname

popeye is probably a reference to popeye it might be a reference to the japanese fashion magazine that's true could be hard to say is Is Popeye just like in the old days something you would say about someone who had like an injured eye? Like, oh, check out that. Because Popeye had like one closed eye. Holy shit, he did. I think I always thought that's why they call it.

Like, oh, he's a, you know, check out. Maybe it's like a fence that you wouldn't say that about. Holy fuck, he's got one big eye and one closed eye. Yeah. Fucking Popeye. I, maybe. like you wouldn't say that about fuck he's got one big eye and one closed eye yeah fucking pop eye i maybe just in the 30s or whenever if someone had an eye how many how many years do you think it was before they add he's like i gotta get some like this whole like his eye thing is not

giving me enough material maybe uh i'll add a spinach thing to this it's like a superman kept getting powers until he was just overpowered yeah yeah he's running he's jumping high it's not really doing it you can go backwards in time guys can i give you a little present yeah please george jetson looks exactly like duck man okay put that in your pipe and smoke it um google that shit afterwards google George Jetson looks exactly like Duckman. Okay. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Google that shit afterwards.

Google George Jetson Duckman from the Jason Alexander primetime animated series Duckman. Now, it's been a while since I've seen either. Yeah. I'm inclined to say no, they don't. I'm just saying. I'm just saying Google Georgeorge okay i'm gonna do it duck man google first google that bang google lasd gangs uh that's in your covered you got there you run the gamut on google can i give you guys a present yeah yeah thank you uh you know elroy jetson yeah looks like bluey yeah elroy jetson looks exactly like bluey from the movie bluey

okay let's play another fucking call so we have a lot of segments on this show arnie uh i i love them yeah i'm a listener okay so we got a lot of great segments on the show we think of all of them ourselves um it's not just people calling in with some random shit that they put a name a segment name at the beginning of that's what happens that's what people do no it's not it's what we're doing brian has nothing to do with it. Hey, guys. This is Aaron from Houston calling in for our beloved segment, affectations I took on in high school a la our hero Jordan Morris. So my affectation I, for some reason, decided on in high school was carrying a slinky.

I don't know where I saw a slinky, but I bought like a nice metal one. Had to have a nice metal one that was real noisy. And I would walk between classes in high school and, you know, just push my slinky back and forth between my hands, making this stupid slinky noise. And needless to say, I was not popular with the ladies in high school. Thanks, guys. Fucking ladies love slinkies. What are you talking about? Nothing gets a pussy wet like fucking slinkies dude. They were

dripping. Give her the slink bro. Oh you gotta give her the slink. Oh man. Oh gee I don't oh gee I don't know how to get Sally To go to the prom with me Jordan You gotta give her the slink

Oh holy shit Should I use one of those Rainbow colored plastic ones Nah dude you gotta get The classic metal slinky And after she's nice and remedy Then you give her the old rubik's cube arnie did you have any affectations in high school i'm just trying to think i um

more in college i started like trying to have like quirky collections of things like i went through the pez thing like many of us probably did and then i uh started collecting action figures that i thought it was funny that that actor had an action figure so it was like this is around the time like jeff goldblum was suddenly having action figures for everything that is funny though that's i like that yeah one of i'll i'll say one of my most cherished possessions is something that jesse got me for a holiday gift it is uh j jonah jameson from the spider-man movies and he has on the box it says he has desk pounding action it's the funniest shit in history jesse i I think you got it on eBay or something.

I'm looking at it now. It's in the office. I love it. I'm glad that made such an impact in your life. What were your prized action figures that shouldn't be? Let's see here. A lot of gold blooms. James Spader from uh star star secretary yeah from secretary yeah that also had action there you go exactly uh stargate right uh and um i had like a malcolm

mcdowell from some star trek movie star trek was a pretty good one to get some actors surprised. I've seen a Whoopi Goldberg from Star Trek at the flea market before. I'm not a shelf full of action figures person, but Whoopi Goldberg from Star Trek

really tested my mettle in terms of not being that. Speaking of Sting, I remember I always regretted when I was in London, I didn't buy a Sting Dune action figure. That'd have been cool.

Fucking Sting Dune. Guys, I gotta pick this collection back up again. Yes, it sounds fun. Oh oh man your wife's gonna be so sorry arnie oh it's okay can we everyone know slinky can we go back to this george jensen looks like a duck man thing okay hell yeah so i googledled George Jetson. I did forget that George Jetson is a duck. George Jetson. Yes. And what came up.

So what came up was a DeviantArt fan drawing of George Jetson with a bill. This is by Six Sixlemans on DeviantArt. Six Sickmans. Six Sickmans do that. But I don't think that's a tribute to the Jason Alexander 90s late night. Look at Duckman. They have the same color hair. And the same shape hair.

Duckman has glasses. No. And the same mouth shape. Nose shape. Duckman does have glasses. I don't think they do. Nah. George Jetson has clothes on.

Look at Duckman and George Jetson. They look the same. They're basically the same character. When did this come up for you? I seen it on Twitter. this come up for you i seen it on twitter so duck man was a horny mean duck dad who had like some surprising emotional moments and george jetson was a future dad it was not that complex george jetson was specifically was it uh he was a what they call a shitty Flintstones. Right.

Like they invented. Okay. I put it in our chat. Okay. Let's see. The picture of how Duckman looks the same as George Jetson from Joe Blevins. Thanks to Joe Blevins for coming up with this. I always credit my sources on things like this

i don't think they do i think it's just sometimes when you put two pictures close together like i feel like sometimes that happens you're like this toaster looks just like my mom in high school and it's just two photos next to each other and it's like they don't really i don't know i i it's not quite spy magazine separated at birth quality right no these guys these two fucking george jetson and duck man from the show duck man it's like a network show originally and then i think it ran on usa for a really long time like usa was like ah fuck it we'll make more duck Yeah. I think it was on after the Weird Science show. The weird TV version of Weird Science. How come USA Network was scared to pick up Father of the Pride?

Yeah, come on, USA. The animated sitcom about Siegfried and Royce Lyons. Listen, I don't know what's playing on USA these days. Yeah. But yeah, I think let's get the save Father of the Pride USA. Listen, if you can get HBO Max to release the Snyder Cut, you can get

USA to make more Father of the Prides. I would like them to bring back... Dear TNT, Jesse Thorne here from NPR's Bullseye. Please make a new Make new Fish Police

New Fish, new Capital Critters Please bring back Robert Guillaume and Don Knotts And John Ritter and Ed Wow there's a lot of deads on Fish Police That's the Fish Police curse Yeah If you were on Fish Police you That's the Fish Police curse. Yeah.

You were on Fish Police. You're in the fucking ground. Produced by Hanna-Barbera, their finest moment. Jordan, do you think you could get an animation sell from Fish Police? What do you think you'd have to pay for that? Arnie, that's a collection I've been considering is Hanna-Barbera, you know, like animation sells and promotional materials. Which one would you get? Like what?

Oh, I mean, there are many particular characters. Yes, I think the the obscure, the better. So you like I would love a Jabberjaw. I would love a Squidley. That's what the first thing I was thinking was Jabberjaw. That's great. Probably what I was thinking. Like, why do I like Jabberjaw so much?

I probably watched Jabberjaw twice as a child. You know why do i like jabberjaw so much i probably watched jabberjaw twice as a child you know who's the new jabberjaw is nicole nicole thurman who was on the show a couple months ago she's jabberjaw that's great it's great i gotta watch that show it's good incredible anyway you know uh fish six episodes, three unaired. You've got to find those laws. When you get the six-episode order and you don't make it through, that's rough. This is like that Home Alone fact. I don't know why I know this.

I forget who I was talking to who explained this to me, but I guess Fish Police was based on an underground comic, like a The Tick-style, you know, underground comic. Right, like Howard the Duck. Yeah, I think Howard the Duck was like a Marvel character. Shit. I know. But yeah, but kind of that zone. And I think the original fans of the Fish Police comic were mad at the show because it was not horny enough.

I think one of the qualities of the comic that its fans liked was the the fish ladies had huge tits i was about to say because i am looking at the fish character angel jones who looks just like duck man and the jugs on this fish are extraordinary yeah but i guess this was they weren't enough for the... Really predicted. Probably the biggest jugs I've ever seen on a fish. So there's some sort of movement online with fish police fans to get them to reboot the show, but in its hornier incarnation. I'm not an ichthyologist, but...

Well, I am, Arnold. nation i'm not an ichthyologist but well i am arnold so put that in your pipe and smoke it as well along with the duck man thing 206-9844-FUN or jjgo at maximumfun.org we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. And introduce them to some of their personal heroes along the way. Oh my gosh. Shut up. Oh, I feel like I'm going to cry. Oh my gosh. It's so exciting to meet you. Join me, Jake Heath Van Straten. And me, Helen Hong, along with special guests DJ Jazzy Jeff and Faith Saley, plus some amazing surprise experts on the 100th episode of Go Fact Yourself.

And join us twice a month, every month for new episodes of Go Fact Yourself here on Maximum Fun. Hi, Maximum Fun. It's me, James Arthur M. from Minority Corner. Okay, I got some good news and I got some bad news. Bad news. Minority Corner, Okay, I got some good news and I got some bad news. Bad news. Minority Corner, after seven years and 340 episodes, we are wrapping up our show. I know, I know. But hey, good news. Good news is that means we must have solved racism and homophobia and sexism and equality

and equity for all. Yay. No, no, we didn't. Well, I'd like to think at least that we are better off than when we started seven years ago so don't worry we might be saying goodbye but our episodes will live on in the podcast airwaves forever or until the internet crashes and burn whatever comes first minority corner the final episodes right here on maximum bun or wherever you get your podcast minority corner because together we're the majority.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Oh, it's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Arnie Niekamp, 80% fictional. Arnie, I want to congratulate you on two things. Number one. Looking like George Jessen.

You recently had your seventh anniversary there on the magic tavern yeah congratulations for that thank you not a lot of podcasts make it to seven years arnie yeah i know especially especially weaker podcasts like ours oh that's not you know i did i do not want to distract from uh plugging hello from the magic tavern which people should listen to there's a great episode that jordan and jesse are both on as uh yeah it's like a boy king and and jesse i think you're like the au pair to the i think yeah i think i take care of the boy king your dick is broken on a trampoline or something jordan's like a petulant a petulant boy king is how i remember that going on being being on hello it's from the

magic tavern is so much fun it's just a blast yeah you and your you and your co-hosts slash co-stars are so funny it's such like a fun it's such a fun dick around it's great i guess we should say if people haven't listened to it it's a kind of fun it's such a fun dick around it's great i guess we should say if people haven't listened to it it's a kind of a fictional fantasy adventure with uh with continuity and recurring characters and an overarching plot it's really impressive if you want to start at the beginning you can but also you know you'll get it if you just jump in yeah oh but i was gonna say uh i think i figured out how to best i listen to this podcast all the time and i'm a big fan and you were talking about having a hard time explaining

it being on it i think maybe you just say the show's about specificity wow i love it. Can I say this, Arnie? Please. Call me crazy, but at the end of the day, aren't we just fucking storytellers, just cavemen gathered around a fire? Just talking about wildebeests and mammoths, woolly mammoths. mammoths woolly mammoths and just like the flames are flickering and you know we we go pee in a hole we see so that others can hear yeah like just every once in a while you just you just pause you say i'm gonna put this story on pause i gotta go shit in a hole jordan's gonna come i think You say, I'm going to put this story on pause. I got to go shit in a hole. Jordan's going to come, I think. I'm sticking over here.

We've invented jacking it, but we haven't invented rooms. Oh, Roxanna. Oh, I didn't mute. Oh, I didn't mute oh i didn't mute a lot a lot of people talk about sting and tantric sex not not enough people talk about him being a caveman yeah it's true a nasty horny nasty caveman specificity you're right arnie yes that's it playing the loot um hello from the magic tavern now independent with lots of patreon bonuses apparently yeah two bonus episodes a month and then uh lots of old spinoffs uh that we did short weird spinoffs um like offices and bosses where we you know in a fantasy world they their version of uh dungeons and dragons is to play a role playing game where they pretend to work in an office basically that's so funny

this is why it's hard for me to explain what i do we're actually we've been thinking about launching a patreon right now we're still working on this but right now our plan is if you become if you become a supporter of jordan jesse go you get two fewer episodes a month sign me up give us a couple bucks a month. Only the Steve Agee episodes. Agee only. There's an Agee only tier you can donate at. Arnie, it's always a joy to have you on the program. Thank you for staying up late for us there in the Chicagoland area.

Oh, of course. Yeah, it was a pleasure. We're very grateful for it. Arnie, you can hear him on 20,000 Magic Tavern related podcasts now free of their corporate masters whoever it is at this point who owns those

corporate masters I've lost track for a while it was the company that puts Cubs games on TV it's Popeyes now. Yeah. Our producer, Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. On the stream, Valerie Moffitt.

By the way, we have been streaming this show pretty consistently on the Maximum Fun YouTube channel. So go subscribe to the Maximum Fun YouTube channel. I'm not going to tell you. Look, mostly Sunday evenings, but no promises. The point is if you go subscribe, it'll bing bong when, you know, you set it to bing bong when we're live because we're not archiving these. You're watching live or you're out, you know, because usually what we do is we'll record it and then straighten the fucking garbage, right?

You know what I mean? Unless AG's there. So go subscribe to the YouTube. Our theme music, Love You by the Free Design, courtesy of the Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. I made a nice

leek and potato soup. It's a great soup. You can use stock, but you can just use water. It's a great soup. You can use stock, but you can just use water. Sure. It's a great soup. You just saute the leeks, put in some potato, water or stock to cover. If you want, you can put a bay leaf in there.

You boil it. Then when you're done boiling it, you can just let it simmer for as long as you please. And then when you're done you just hit it with that stick blender mix it all up and if you want you can add some cream or half and half to make it creamier it's really nice and you can put whatever you want on there some bacon bits or just even just a nice olive oil see I didn't care about any of that, but I sincerely enjoyed the specificity of it. The specificity, yes.

Yeah. You know what I like to put on there? Those Trader Joe's crispy onion bits. They're gluten-free. Oh, man, now I'm going to cum. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. time on Jordan, Jessica.