Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 733: Sop Simp with Ben Gruber

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

Ben Gruber (Jellystone!) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of all of the food Ben misses in Los Angeles, the failed attempts Jesse and Ben have had trying to impress their kids with showbiz friends, and the re-emergence of the punk from Star Trek IV.Watch Jellystone! on HBO Max!!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. There is a carnitas stand by my house. Have I told you about this carnitas stand, Jordan? No, let's hear about it. There's a carnitas stand jordan no let's hear about it there's a carnitas stand by my house and you know like you can get carnitas at any taqueria or taco stand or taco truck like yeah fairly common

meat preparation but they usually it's a usually it's a it's like a make-ahead you know what i mean they're not making the carnitas on the truck or sometimes not even in the restaurant. You know what I mean? Unless it's a carnitas. This stand is just a carnitas stand. So it's just a giant kettle. Right. Like a giant copper kettle.

Oh, yeah. They're poaching pork and lard. And then they scoop it out. They ask you what kind you want because there's different kinds of carnitas depending on what part of a pig you want you ask mixed and then they sell it to you by the pound wow can you is that the only can you get it on a taco or a torta or something or is it just are you just buying bags of meat they will put it on a tortilla for you, but that's not what the stand is there for. Gotcha.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And so do you want to know how much of a pound of carnitas I will eat? Oh, boy. Okay. So are you just eating it out of the bag? Yeah. Or not exclusively?

I mean, yes, but not exclusively are you making sense are you so like when they put it in the bag for me it is a bag i'm i'm i'm presuming it's a bag i was imagining a bag usually you get it in a brown what's the what's the receptacle brown paper like a see-through from from fat brown paper bag yes i am eating it out of there i do bring it home so theoretically i'm buying a pound and i'm bringing it to my family for dinner so you could have one for the you know while you're buying i'm assuming this is close so you could have one for the family and then one for the walk home so i picked it up can you take down a whole pound on the walk home? I picked it up around three o'clock in the afternoon for dinner on my way home. And I hadn't eaten that much lunch, so I ate a taco while I was there.

I ordered a pound of carnitas and a taco in addition. While they were packing up the pound, I ate the taco. So I went ahead and took down the taco. Then, yes, I ate some carnitas with my hands on my while i was driving home sticking a sticking a bare hand in there like like like winnie the pooh getting honey getting honey from the tree my head is stuck in the carnitas jar right and then oh somebody draw it Somebody out there draw it. I brought it home. I got it all the way to the house. And I did eat some more between then and dinner. Because it's, you know, you're passing by.

What, are you going to not eat it? You know what I mean? It would be ridiculous. It's right there. Yeah. It's poached in lard could not eat it but is that really an optional situation jordan realistically how how much would you say so you have this one pound bag that yeah how much would i say other members of my family ate? Okay, is the bag gone?

Yeah, it's done. Done zone. Okay, bag's done. Yeah, it's cached. Between you and the nine or ten other members of your family. Yeah, so I have three children, two dogs, and one wife. That's the members of my family. They all got some.

They all had access to it. I would say they ate. Now, remember that I did eat a taco before. Are you going to add this to the pound as you're calculating this? Well, that's part of what I ate. But what they ate, I would say,

would be... I'm going to give generously four ounces. And this meat is gone. Overall, the meat is gone overall overall the meat is gone done no more there's none left so there's some onions and cilantro left if you want that uh i don't some tiny lemon wedge you know what i do want it put it in the mail you know what i'll drive it over to bungalow heaven i'm on my way to pasadena right now, Jordan.

Just throw it on my porch. Just put it in a brown paper bag, light the bag on fire, and ring your doorbell. Yeah. Then I'll be disappointed when it's not dog shit. Usually when this happens, it's dog shit. Yeah, I don't know. Is three quarters of a pound of carnitas too much carnitas to eat before you record a comedy podcast? Boy, yeah.

Are you going to if you if you go to sleep, here's what we'll do. I guess we're not doing this in person. We're doing this over Zoom. So maybe we'll see if Brian can get us a little filter that'll put a sleeping cap on your head. And then we'll, we'll, me and our guests will slowly tiptoe out of the podcast. Don't wake, don't wake him up.

He had a big day. He had a big day and he's all tuckered out from eating pork. Tomorrow, tomorrow I've met the doctor. He says, well, the results from your sleep study are in. And you died three times. Is your doctor Sam Elliott? You died of pork.

You're suffering from a condition called pork death. Yes. You're now in a state of living pork death. You'll actually die come the next full moon. The Chinese would say that the hogs have stolen your breath. Who's this doctor you're going to? He's a really intense doctor. Yeah.

Anyway, should we introduce our guest on the show? I would love to. Our guest on the program is a celebrated writer of animation, including most recently as a story editor of the television program Jellystone. Very funny show for the whole family. Ben Gruber. Hi, Ben. Oh, my God. Hello. I want to get right Ben Gruber. Hi, Ben. Oh, my God. Hello.

I want to get right into meat talk. Thanks, Ben. Meat. I mean, meat. Thanks for getting serious. I have moved away from Los Angeles about a year ago, almost exactly a year ago. Now, as you know, Los Angeles had become a haven of the birria taco, which is, of course, some sort of a stewed meat that you would stick in a tortilla, they would grill it, and you would dip it into a consomme, if you will. Some sort of a consomme.

Sort of a consomme. Now. So what was this? Like some kind of consomme? Yeah, like a consomme of consummate yeah like a consummate i kind of wanted we should all say it hey you hey you listening at home say consummate say it to your loved ones so i'm just crushing birria tacos left and right that's the only thing getting me through the the pandemic where's your where's your where's your birria coming from well there was that truck over near silver Lake that would sometimes park under a bridge.

I've been to that one. I've been to that bridge truck. It rules. The bridge truck was awesome. I love to support a troll-owned business. Yeah. So to get the tacos, you have to answer three riddles. Sometimes these annoying billy goats come by.

sometimes these annoying billy goats come by anyway then there was a store opened up in burbank that started to sell them um next to uh what's that cuban bakery that everybody loves porto's portos exactly they had them and then they started making birria ramen oh which is so good so salty yeah talk about the walking death. I mean, my doctors were not happy. But anyhow, so I've moved to upstate New York, not Birria Tacos here. And it's been a problem, a real bad problem. I've been driving to like other upstate towns to try to find birria tacos. I like the idea that you're like, God, I got to find some birria.

You know, I bet they have that. Woodstock. Got to get my ass to Albany. Yeah, I bet the tacos are hard to come by, but you probably find a lot of beautiful apples you can pluck right from the tree. There's a beautiful orchard near me that also hosts concerts. The Decembrists will be playing there soon.

You have an apple orchard? Is that for On the Nose Fest? Yes. Every year I miss getting tickets to On the Nose Fest. I can't. Every year I miss getting tickets to On the Notes Fest. The newspaper described the people playing there as if it were the playlist of the character from the OC. Oh, I don't know. You know, despite this, this is one of this is a thing that I totally missed.

Despite being from Orange County, I don't really know anything that went on on the television show The O.C. And I realize it was a big cultural moment. Yeah, but I have no O.C. facts in my head. It's the same, Ben, just so you know. It's the same for me and Nash Bridges. Despite the fact that I'm from San Francisco, i don't know very much at all about our most important cultural export do you know about the movie grind no does that register with you two at all i only san francisco the only san francisco thing that i really know about frankly is star

trek 4 the voyage home which i know a ton about probably too much about i am familiar with mtv's the grind yeah um which if you're uh if you're uh if you're a you know a young man coming of age in you know 1992 1993 and yeah you know obviously erotica is hard to come by. Yeah. It's tough. You have to go out and find it in the woods before the internet. Or in a pinch, you can crank it to the grind. At the end of the day, as long as you don't lose your boner when you hear high NRG music. So I grew up in Philadelphia and there was a local version of the grind, like an American bandstand kind of thing.

I cannot remember what the name of it was. It was just hot Eagles fans shaking their asses. Yeah. Shaking their asses and throwing batteries. But the algebra teacher at my high school, his daughter was a regular on the show. She went by the moniker of Princess. And can you guess who she would dress up as every single episode? I mean, my first thought is Prince Valiant.

Well, you're sort of in the right thing. Prince. Oh. So she would wear like purple outfits and the fringy thing that would, like, hang in front of her face. But, boy, did I have, like, a real puberty thing with her. And then the algebra teacher brought her into school. Wow. Was she dressed as Prince to do a demonstration?

She had her thing. Yes. He's like, if you see her hips move, it's really all just algebra. It's all just angles, folks. Yeah, it's just. move it's really all just algebra it's all just angles folks yeah it's just that really is a like that really is a genre of television that i don't think still exists anymore uh that i would broadly call horny dancing isn't that just what tiktok is like hasn't that why? I think that's completely true. Isn't that sort of energy just? Yeah.

And then so you can like, you know, so you can kind of watch other horny young people and then learn if you have ADHD. Yeah. I watched. Which is hot. The H stands for hot. I watched a ton of Soul Train as a kid.

I watched a ton of Soul Train as a kid. And what was powerful to me about Soul Train is it had that amazing animated train with the theme song by MFSB. You know, Soul Train. That song and the train is coming down the tracks. And when you're young enough, it's like one of those things where you're not sure what kind of show it is. Because it seems like a cartoon show, but it's also giving you prepubescent horniness. Right. And there's music. Then Kool and the Gang is doing Celebration.

It's like a very mixed experience. Now, imagine that same opening, but with one of the first movies ever shot of that train coming towards you. And somebody speaking through one of those megaphones going like, Soul Train. Celebrate good times. Come on with your baby. And you're watching it on a sheet projected in a tent.

There is a video. I feel like I have brought this up on Jordan Jesse Go before because it was just an important part of my lived experience. But there is a video on YouTube that is just a compilation of Rosie Perez dancing on soul train. Yes. And the thing about Rosie Perez as a dancer is like, Rosie Perez was a good dancer. Like, don't get me wrong,

but like Rosie Perez is dancing was not about her moves or her like grace or like, like really what it's about is her fucking making a face that is so intensely sexual that you can't watch it without sweating. Like I think a, I think a heterosexual woman would break out in a cold sweat from the intensity of the sexuality that comes out of this video of Rosie Perez dancing. And it truly like, it's so seared into my very sense of being from having watched it that like i don't think any tiktoker could ever generate that that amount of that amount of feeling do you feel like downtown julie brown brought that to you at all or uh i mean she did but it's it's nothing it's

truly nothing in fact i would argue that there is no human experience that can compare in intensity to watching this video even just in the little not even in cinema mode on youtube just in the regular little window you'd not full screen not the bigger one that goes across the top just a little one and how so are you just given that this is such a part of your being do you do you get excited every time she pops up as a supporting character in an hbo max original i mean absolutely 100 yes when you watch white man can't jump do you bust white man can bust they can't jump when she's live tweeting boxing matches, I have feelings.

It is such an extraordinary phenomenon. It is like nothing else in the world. Just her making faces at the camera. Ben, I'm sorry you can't get the tacos you love so much. But you are a man I know. From knowing you socially, I know that you you are a man i know i i from knowing you socially i know that you are passionate about food very uh what are the what we've talked about the downsides what are the upsides to living in upstate new york when it comes well let me say this i'm i'm hip deep

in chicken parm i am oh yeah i'm like real deep into it. Like, I forgot, like, so I had moved from the East Coast, you know, to California. And you're, you know, there's a lot of great food there, obviously. But your red sauce Italian, a little bit lacking. Come back here, just busting moves on parms left and right. Every kind of parm. That's great. I'm, you know, I'm a few hours away from Buffalo. So obviously the Buffalo wing game is very strong here.

And because I'm also kind of close to Canada, the poutine game is very strong here. Interesting. So basically, you know, everything that'll kill you is great. It's great here. It's great here. Sure. There's a place here that's sort of halfway between my house and our office that is called Eastside Italian Deli. And at Eastside Italian Deli, which is in a neighborhood that can only be described as not a neighborhood. basically on like a weird island in a freeway like sort of near dodger stadium uh like in an in an abandoned strip mall like it's very weirdly placed and it's just one of those things that has

just been there for a hundred years or something uh while like cities grew and empires grew and fell around it uh and you go in there and you order a chicken parm sandwich or you order a meatball sub and you are just surrounded by dudes that could beat you up at any moment not just are capable of but it's like it's imminent like these dudes are just firefighters and police officers and just other people who are mad at you for seeming too artistic and it is so worth it jesse just don't just put down the jazz hands when you walk in there you don't have to walk in with jazz i'm here for my face jordan they frame my face that's true you know i look chunky without the jazz hands but like seriously i will go i will go into east side italian deli like if if i'm if for whatever reason i have to be home in the morning and then at the office in the afternoon, I will go to Eastside Italian Deli on my way to the office.

And I will eat an entire like meatball sub, just like the full thing, you know, nine inches of meatball sub. And then I will eat an entire to-go container of potato salad, like mayonnaise potato salad. And then I will eat an entire gigantic chocolate chip cookie because it's there like just i'm worried appeared there i'm concerned that this podcast is turning into some sort of muck bang podcast i did hear there was an episode recently insane meal yeah there was an episode recently. Insane meal. Yeah, there was an episode recently where you describe making yourself a sundae and then making yourself a second sundae. That is true. I did do that. I have a pretty healthy lifestyle.

Like, I want to be clear. Like, outside of my commitment to eating ice cream on most days, like, I eat a lot of vegetables. I eat a lot of fresh fruit. I don't eat a ton of carbs as a general rule. Don't eat a lot of vegetables. I eat a lot of fresh fruit. I don't eat a ton of carbs as a general rule. Don't eat a ton of bread. Not a lot of simple carbohydrates other than the ice cream. But yeah, I do occasionally eat 12 ounces of carnitas. So good.

I had this realization recently that i kind of decided a little while ago that i'm okay with lunch being a boring meal right like lunch just kind of being sustenance to get throughout the day and if and the time to have a little fun is dinner or the time to have a little fun is breakfast because you can kind of recoup from it you know sure um pull out of the nosedive and i love having fun at breakfast okay sure so i found a um a diner i dropped my my daughter off at school in the morning and then i drive by a stone quarry and across from the stone quarry is a diner that's like up on a cliff. And you drive up a hill. And it's this very old diner.

And they put brown gravy on their home fries. Just glop it in brown gravy. And it's the best goddamn thing in the world. Take me to the quarry diner. And it's full of quarry people who like to bring up George Soros a weird amount. Oh, no. But that brown gravy. That brown gravy.

Yeah, I mean, you can hear about the New World Order if it means getting some of that good brown. I mean, i think that i think that listen i can hear i can hear a screed about globalists if it means snacking on some of that good quarry brown that rocky brown um i i know i realized as a result of of just kind of deciding that, for me, a boring lunch is kind of the best way to go. I've eaten, like, two sandwiches in the past five years. I just don't eat. What?

But I know I'm missing out on a world of sandwiches. Can I tell you about sandwiches? I feel like... Well, don't tell me you can eat them for dinner, because you can't. If you're going to propose that madness to me You can shut your fool mouth If you have access to a good sandwich store

A sandwich is great You know you go to a nice Sandwich store that has good bread Good filling But like honestly like the difference between Good salami and Like really good salami And pretty good salami in a sandwich is yeah it's

modest you're talking about like gabagol like maybe prosciutto uh mortadella something like that somebody's living in the northeast so like i i think you you have access to that. A little Pauly D, a little Snooki, you know. A little bit of that JWoww. I do feel like to eat quality at home sandwiches requires a lifestyle because you have to eat enough of them

to keep enough of the stuff on hand. You know what I mean? Like the, all of the ingredients. Yeah, you need, like, enough rolls or whatever. Like, you need to, like, bulk rolls. I guess if you can, like, freeze the rolls. Yeah, but then they're not as good if you, I mean, you can freeze them, but then they're not as good.

They're going to become desiccated. But I have jars of pepper spread. I've got, like, that red, you know, the hot pepper spread. I've got like the hot pepper spread. I got that. I got the oil. Wait, so Ben, are you saying you'll do a quality, you'll like put effort into a home sandwich is what you're saying? Yeah, yeah. But, you know, I'm also back on the East Coast where, you know, it's the home of the hoagie.

I can get a beautiful Italian sub. But you could also just go to the italian markets here and get all that stuff but yeah so i keep a hoagie dressing and hot pepper spread in my house and aged provolone at all times that sounds great i i applaud the commitment i really do and they do a beautiful roast pork thing up here which is great oh yeah called carnitas called carnitas and you dip it into a consomme can you get it can you get it by sack? Meanwhile, I would love to just get a sack of meat. I can't even imagine it. It would be so great to get a sack of meat. It's so good.

My mom used to do that. There was like, by my house where I grew up, there was like a corner store. You know how like some corner stores have like a little hot bar? Like a liquor store will have like a little hot bar like a liquor store will have like a little hot bar the one by my house had a hot bar with uh chicharrones and and carnitas and you would you go buy carnitas by the pound in a brown paper bag you know that was like glistening and translucent like a window in a log cabin i feel like every food blog list of the best blank in blank has to contain one of those places that's like, go into a liquor store and knock on the janitor's closet.

There's an old man who will be sleeping, but he's made some ribs. But like this, that's the thing. So like a corner store is fully capable of generating high quality sandwiches. Sure. It's just a matter of volume. They have to meet a certain volume to be able to rotate the ingredient. Like you got to turn over the ingredients. That's the key issue.

Like it's really not like the bread. There's going to be a difference between, you know, grocery store wheat bread and like a nice bread. But if they're getting a nice bread in. A nice bread. You know, it's mostly just mayonnaise, you know, but you got to just have some. That's basically why you eat a sandwich. Lettuce and tomatoes on hand. You know what I mean?

Like they got to be, you got to be turning over the sprouts or whatever. You're right. You're right. Look, when I'm right, I'm the sprouts or whatever you're right you're right look when i'm right i'm right yeah you're right i don't fuck around about shit like this you know that we've known each other 20 years hey you might be wrong about george soros or i might be right about george soros oh no i don't know enough about george soros to continue this bit oh fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. So I've been tentatively exploring my area.

That's really healthy, Ben. At your age, it's healthy to explore your area. Very tentatively. You know what? Try gumming something a little and see if it's poisonous. I just got the ultrasound, and apparently everything's fine. Are we all doing different bits? I was doing a jack off thing

Jesse what were you doing? I was doing like a baby exploring their Surroundings Through sensory play Ben what were you doing? I was doing a testicular cancer check Wow So we all did a cool thing

Whose was best? Impossible to say. Well, easy enough to say, Jordan. None. None were good. Sound off in the comments. Which bad bit did you like the best? So if I go right outside my driveway, I head into town.

You're exploring your area. Yes. I head right outside my driveway. I head sort of towards Syracuse, which is a decent-sized town. If I go left, it's all open farmland for miles and miles and miles and miles, going on forever, sort of dotted with certain bars. And, like, you know, or maybe you'll see a little diner. And they look very inviting. So I've started to go into them,

but I'm just terrified. I was like, these people like talk about places where people will beat the shit out of you. These are locals only. This is like, this is like trying to, this is like trying to get in the breakers in a,

you know, in like Santa Cruz or whatever. And you're not a local, like you're worried that you're going to step in there. Everybody's head is the dog town tattoo yeah that's right you're not in the right los angeles sheriff's department gang so and and i also drive well i still have my los angeles car which is a little a little mini and everyone else has giant pickups and shit like that so i pull into the parking lot and i already feel a little

bit weird but uh so far i have not had the shit beat out of me i got a great recommendation for a local gun club which is cool shout them out man yeah but i think ben you are you're a you're a you're a sweet man you're one of the sweetest men I think I've ever had the pleasure of speaking to. Oh, cutie. But you're also, you're a very big man. I think you could, and right now, you know, just for the people who aren't watching the stream, you're wearing a kind of

a boatsman's get up. It's like a wool cap and a kind of a boating, I bet you could easily pass. If they didn't see the mini, you could pass for a local northeast tough guy. Yeah. Can I make a recommendation, Ben?

Yeah. If you want to get the respect of the room, just come in strong. Just bust through the flippy, flappy door. Just walk up to the bar and throw a squid on there. And trade for a whiskey. Yeah. My problem is, is a couple beers in, I start wanting to chat about the marvelous Miss Maisel. And the whole thing is...

Story of my life. Forget it. Have you done quaint things? Like what about apple cider donuts? That's a big northeastern food thing. I've done a ton. I took my daughter on a tractor ride. Oh, yeah.

Which is great. My wife had some friends that lived in New Jersey that we visited. Some of them were buddies from college. lived in New Jersey that we visited. Some of them were buddies from college. And the main experiences that I had there were that New Jersey is beautiful. New Jersey, the famously gross state, is very beautiful.

Depends where you are, but yes. And also that apple picking is a great thing to do. It is a very fun, pleasant activity. It's great. And here they've opened up their own distillery. So they make like apple vodka and stuff like that. So I was like crushing Bloody Marys while picking apples with my daughter. Let me grab that tractor.

Yes, it is really great. And a hot apple cider donut is one of the great treats of all time. I had them at my wedding. Really? Is an apple cider donut a fried donut or a baked donut? It's a fried donut. Yeah. I mean, traditionally.

Yeah. I mean, Jordan, just you go. Listeners know how I feel about the fucking bakers In the world of Richard Scarry Who are baking donuts Oh boy Don't get him Don't get him started

Don't fucking fuck themselves With these baked donuts Why would you bake a donut? Just eat a cake Jesse's gonna start a Twitter war With lowly worm Leave me out of it I don Twitter war with lowly worm. Leave me out of it.

I don't need a lowly worm in my mentions. Ben, when you inevitably have to come back to L.A. for a certain amount of time because of your thriving show business career, what are the L.A. foods and things that you're going to do as soon as you get back? Well, so I'm actually coming back next month. And I have started looking at super efficiency studio apartments sort of near you, actually, that are so small that you actually have to have one of those Murphy beds that pulls down. Okay. Just have a, have a flop house.

You should come to my birthday. It's only $3,000 a month. So it's, I think it's pretty worth it. And it's a, what a deal. So no, coming back next month,

obviously got to get some sushi, got to hit sushi row. And you know, that a whole line of sushi restaurants in like studio city uh-huh um gotta obviously you have a beauty a taco i mean that's just a given um but then it's like i just want to go to tam o'shanter i just want to get cozy at tam o'shanter or you know get some prime rib in my tum tum or smokehouse no smokehouse. Oh, Smokehouse, yeah. The Tam O'Shanter, maybe my favorite restaurant in Los Angeles, is a Scottish theme restaurant built in the 30s. Famously a place where the original famous Disney animators used to hang out.

It has a table named after them with pictures that they all drew. Right. It was Walt's table. Walt loved the table. And it's where they decided they should slip some porno into the rescuers. Take down a couple of their famous Manhattans and slip a little porno into the rescuers. This is a restaurant where you go. The rescuers.

This is a restaurant where you go, and if you go at lunchtime, there is a man behind a screen who will carve a prime rib sandwich for you. And then there is a bar where you can get as much potato salad as you want. And it is a dream. This restaurant is a fucking dream. The potato salad thing was a mind bender when I realized what was happening. I was like, what? That you could just take some? Keep scooping? Yeah.

Scooping. Scoop as much as you please, sir. Oh, God, that's beautiful. What a beautiful experience it is to go there and have a man carve a sandwich for you off a loaf of prime rib. It's cozy, and it kind of looks like Hogwarts inside. Yes. Pretty fun. There's these poor people who are

lifetime professional servers who are wearing comfort shoes and are 63 years old, but also are wearing, like, sexy Highlander outfits from, like like 1960. Jesse, do you think the next time you're there, if you bring your own paper bag,

do you think you can get a pound of potato salad for the ride home? Jesus Christ, would I love that? Just a brown paper bag glistening with mayonnaise. Oh, what a delight that would be. I don't think they'd stop you. I think you could do it. Yeah. You know what?

I could have him carve that prime rib right into the brown paper bag. My man just put it in the bag. Could you bag it up for me? I brought my own bag. The bread's at the bottom of the bag. I only eat out of a bag with my hands so would you mind if i that's what keto is right i think that's right a bag with your hands a lot of people think that it's it's okay or healthy to eat all these fucking processed foods uh that the you know food industrial complex feeds us but what we really

got to do is get back to the way the cavemen eat which is they just plunge their face into a paper bag for a prime rib exactly the paper bags were made out of uh buffalo intestine i believe back then but oh they used all the parts of the buffalo, yes. Or a bird that said, it's a living. It's a living. It filled its mouth with... You open its mouth and jam meat into it. It's a living. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, guess what just came in my mail? What? Magic spoon. Lucky, lucky duck. My spoon had gotten, my spoons had gotten just fucking pedestrian. Oh, man. So earthbound.

Normal, normal ass muggle spoons. Oh, I hate muggle spoons. Magic Spoon is a breakfast cereal that has all the taste of a treat cereal, all those all those sweetie treaty flavors that you remember loving when you were a kid. But it's actually pretty responsible. Zero grams of sugar, 140 calories in a serving, 13, 14 grams of protein, which really gives it some kind of gives it some stick to your ribs in there and only four net grams of carbs. Yeah, really tasty. And you can build your own box.

All kinds of great flavors. You got cocoa, fruity, frosted. Fruity and frosted are two separate flavors. I just said them together. You can mix them. You can mix them. Hey, if you want fruity frosted, you just take a little bit of fruity, take a little bit of frosted.

Boom, you got it. Peanut butter, cookies and cream, maple waffle, blueberry, cinnamon, plus the newly reformulated. Ooh, it's reformulated. Ooh, gimme honey nut flavor. I'll eat anything reformulated. I eat so many shampoos. Like when they improve a shampoo, I'll eat that for a little while, see how it goes. Maybe don't do that.

When they improve a shampoo, I'll eat that for a little while, see how it goes. Maybe don't do that. But hey, what you can do is eat Magic Spoon. That honey nut flavor can be now added to Magic Spoon's permanent collection. That's right. It's in the roster. And all this stuff isn't just great for breakfast. You can have it as a midnight snack.

I love to do that. If you got a little sweet tooth late at night grab yourself a handful of magic spoon you're gonna be having a good time it's a big this is this is big news for honey nut i'm so happy for honey nut you know to be added to the permanent collection this is like when you know the button down mind of bob newhart gets gets put in the library of congress this is exactly that's what we're talking about exactly like that the button down mind of Bob Newhart gets put in the Library of Congress. This is exactly like that. That's what we're talking about here. This is exactly like that.

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Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode. We're also supported this week by the good people at BetterHelp. Now, Jordan. Yes. You and I both love and need therapy. Both. I agree with you. Yes, you're correct. And we've both benefited immensely from therapy. We are big therapy advocates here at Jordan Jesse Go. There are many great ways to get therapy. You go to a community clinic. You could see somebody in private practice. You could, you know, look, there's a lot of, you could go to your health center at your university. There's a lot of ways

to get therapy. And one, the one that is sponsoring this podcast is BetterHelp. BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's more affordable than most in-person therapy. You can give it a try to see if online therapy can help you out, whether it's because you're having major issues or minor issues. Therapy is not just helpful for major depression, for example, although it is helpful for that. It's also helpful just to help you deal with stress, help you unburden yourself. Like, I know that I have gotten a lot out of therapy when I was truly in crisis. I've also gotten a lot out of therapy when I wasn't in crisis. That was the time that helped me build the relationships that got

me through crises and also the time that I was able to really make personal growth a priority. Yeah, it's a really, really awesome thing to have in your life. And yeah, if you're going through a tough time, it's awesome to have. But even if you're not going through a tough time, you're building a great foundation for when one of those tough times inevitably springs up. You have a support system and you have techniques. It's really great. And we hope that if it's something you're considering that you check it out.

And BetterHelp is one way to do that. Jordan, Jesse, Go listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash JJGo. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash JJ Go. We also have a message up on the Jumbotron this week. That's where our listeners can offer messages to our listeners. We have a message here from Kate for Ethan. Jordan, would you like to read this message this week? I'm going to give you the chance to read this message this week i'm gonna give you the

chance to read this i would love to hey chuke i front you turns out you did hear about it on the jordan jesse go jumbotron love your love yo well these two sound fun hey jordan can i tell you something something i've been meaning to tell you for a long how long we've been working together boy are you 14 15 years at this point i mean that's just on jordan jesse go because we started 20 years ago yeah it's gotta be it's gotta be gotta be somewhere around there so i just i just want to say something that I've been meaning to say. I've been scared to say it, frankly, until Kate really. I just, Chook, I front you. There, I said it. I got up.

Chook, I front you. Thank you, Loveo. Or Loveo. Loveo. It would be Loveo. Love? I don't know why. Loveo sounds, rolls off the tongue a little bit better for me.

I don't know. I kind of like love-o. It reminds me of the Thundercats. Well, that's right. Well, hey, whether you're a love-o or a love-io, you can get your message on the Jumbostron. Isn't Kerry Kenny's dad one of the Thundercats? I don't know. Kerry Kenny Silver from Reno 911 in the state, among other things. That would be really cool. I think her dad is a Thundercats. I don't know. Kenny Silver from Reno 911 in the state, among other things.

That would be really cool. I think he's a Thundercat. I think he's Love-O from the Thundercats. Good old Love-O. Okay. Well, if you want to get up on the Jumbotron, it's MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. Well, look, tell your Love-O you fronched them. Tell your Love-O.

Tell the world who your favorite Thundercat is. your love-o tell tell the world who your favorite thundercat is i you know what the only you know why we don't make more money with these love-o messages jordan hmm i mean really let's be honest we make most of our money on jordan jesse go by charging people a hundred dollars to tell someone they love them yes that's our main source of income on this show. You know what the reason that we don't do it more is? Because in any given couple, there are two people. Right. One who listens to Jordan Jesse go, and one who's angry and confused if their partner listens to that show.

If they accidentally hear some, or their partner is describing something that was what happening is this why are you telling me about this says one loving partner to another no radio lab exists god damn it why do you listen to those men maximumfun.org slash jumbotron that's not very loveyo of them tell your chuuk you fronched them We'll be back in just a second On Jordan, Jesse Go It's Jordan, Jesse Go I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris, boy detective I'm Ben Grune, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

I'm Ben Gruber. I'm a New Yorker now. Hey, Ben's looking here. Benny! Give me another slice. Something about the bagels in the water. How are your many cousins? Tell me about those many cousins.

Let's open up this fire hydrant. It's summer. And to be clear, I'm not talking about your numerous cousins. I'm talking about your tiny little cousins. Your mini cousins. Who am I? Pizza Rat, how you doing? I haven't seen you around in a while.

I was in jail. Oh, no. Pizza rat. What happened? For tax evasion. Ben, what would you say is your number one favorite bodega cat? My number one? Actually, named Cleopatra.

It used to like to jump on my girlfriend's shoulder and chew on her hair. Oh, that rolls. Yeah. Sounds great. Cleopatra was great. Sounds like a winner. Man, I went to the Pasadena City College flea market today, and it had been closed for a long time,

and this is maybe like the third or fourth month that it's been open. And it's my favorite. And I had forgotten about this, but there's this truck that comes from the pasadena humane society full of dogs and they just park this truck and bring these fucking dogs out and you can go pet them and dear lord god i want to take those dogs home god i want to buy a dog from these people oh i want to give them my 200 and and take a dog. Oh, so bad. You've got a bunch of animals, right?

I got two dogs already. That's a third dog. What's a third dog? The children are the wild animals in my house. Wait, am I hosting a podcast with Dave Barry now? Yes, finally. Man, I wish we were hosting a podcast with Dave Barry. Man, Dave Barry used to come on – when I worked on this radio show, West Coast Live, Dave Barry's brother was the musician on the show often.

And he was married to my boss, Dave Barry's brother, Sam Barry. Lovely man. Dave Barry used to come around a lot, you know, when he had a book or whatever. And you know how like you would kind of imagine Dave Barry would be like in a best case scenario, like kind of a sweet, funny dork. You know what I mean? Just like funny and just charming and pleasant. And just like a kind of dude that would like uh give you a hug when he saw you because that is exactly what dave barry is like man dave barry is just the nicest fucking dude you're just like wait wait it's like when you meet weird alan and he's so nice you're just like yeah thanks for thanks for doing this like i appreciate it thanks for brightening my 12 year old year uh can i tell you that uh so weird al was in my

amazon show um way back man could that guy take down a pizza oh yeah god bless us absolutely mowing entire pies incredible like his own pie yeah basically he'll eat a full large just throw that thing in a brown paper bag and hit yeah basically he'll eat a full large wow just throw that thing in a brown paper bag and hit weird al he'll take it down i'm trying to are there any weird al pizza songs this seems like it seemed like there would be a whole album right at some point like a like a like a album length rush parody but it's all about pizza just pizza right yeah it's like a flaming lips thing you have to play it on three different boom boxes to play it simultaneously.

Today's Tom Saucer. It gets pie on you. Yeah, okay, all right. That's about as good as we're going to do. I mean, we're no Weird Al. That's why he's Weird Al and we're not. I don't know enough about Rush. He's pretty good at rapping not i don't know enough about pretty good at rapping too what the fuck how is weird al the one pretty good at like pretty good at like metal singing

how is weird al like the one guy before the one white dude before like 2012 that like did comedy rap respectfully like respected rap as an art form i think that's weird al's thing he's respectful i know so respectful really got a lot of admiration that's why he's he's gone through that entire career with only a few beefs to what kind of pizza would would weird al take down ben you know it was a couple years ago. I can't remember. I want to say it was a pepperon, but I'm not sure. Okay. I don't want you to misrepresent this, Ben. I don't.

I don't want to smear the poor man. You're not a rumor monger. But I hope that it's represented in the new bio movie that's being made about him. I'm hoping that Harry Potter is just throwing back pies. Right. Is Harry Potter playing Weird Al in a bio movie? Yes. Harry Potter is playing Weird Al.

Good for him. To the delight of all 12-year-olds, Harry Potter is playing Weird Al. Just a 12-year-old supernova. Yeah. God, what a beautiful thing. When something momentous happens to you, like you find out what kind of pizza Weird Al takes down, I could see him taking down a Hawaiian pizza. Because he got the shirts. Oh, yeah.

Sure. Sure. I will say this. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt while taking down the pizza. Wow. I just wish I could remember what kind of pizza it was. And it's not just, I mean, not just because of the shirts. I feel like that's the most irreverent pizza.

It is. It's a little weird. It's a little weird. It has a genial irreverence that I associate with Weird Al. Do you think it's sillier than when they take a bunch of meatballs and make a happy face with them on the pizza? No, that's insane. That is a fun pizza. That's insane.

That's insane, Ben. That's not irreverent. That's against God. Sorry. That's insane, Ben. That's not irreverent. That's against God. Sorry. That's in Deuteronomy. Thou shalt not make a happy face of sausages. Thou shalt not make a craven image of man on the pie. Man's image must not appear on pie.

Thou shalt not eat thy pie with a knife and fork. Thou shalt not make a craven image of man on the pie yes so saith papa john wait papa john wrote a book of the bible is this this is one of the gnostic gospels yeah the dead sea scroll is just about pizza and Papa John wrote it. The Dead Sea Scroll is basically just a menu. Right. Render unto Little Caesar. Where's Little Caesars? Yes.

Okay. When something momentous happens to you, give us a call or 206-984-4FUN or just send us a voice memo at JJGo at MaximumFun.org. Here's one of those momentous occasions right now. Hey, this is Josh calling from Yuma, Arizona. I was just listening to the most recent episode and heard Jesse talk about spring training and how only rich kids go there, as well as great baseball names. So I just wanted to share that as a lifelong San Francisco Giants fan, I just went to spring

training games for the first time in my life. And I have a momentous occasion to report, which Jesse will appreciate. And that is that my daughter was able to get an autograph from Brandon Crawford. Now, we did not plan in advance for this in any way. So she got her autograph on a piece of notebook paper signed with a green gel sparkle pen. She reported to me afterwards that she told

Brandon Crawford that she loved him so much he did not respond and all of the boys who were waiting for autographs she was the only girl looked at her funny after that. Thanks. What a load of bullshit. Fuck you, boys.

This is something she's going to treasure for the rest of her life. She got Brandon Crawford's autograph and green sparkle gel pen. What else would you want to get that man's autograph in? You want it on notebook paper and green sparkle pen. It seems like the most, it's the fanciest of all inks, right? So it would be like a huge occasion. It's got diamonds inside it. Yeah.

From the fanciest of all short stops. That's what those sparkle pens are made of. Ground up diamonds. Yeah, you know what? This is, I'm really ashamed of the boys. I'm changing the rules to my tree house. No boys allowed. Thanks, Jordan.

Thank you very much. Flip the script on them that's what i said yeah the boys are not back in town the boys are not thank you ben the boys are not it's empty at dino's bar and grill there's no boys in this town there's a video on well there's two there's two really high quality things about san francisco giants shortstop brandon crawford i mean he's a great ball player certainly uh one is that there is a picture of him as like a five or six year old um at candlestick park when the giants had announced that they were going to move to tampa bay florida which is like the most traumatic moment of my entire childhood, including the time that my father was at the bottom of the stairs screaming up the stairs that my mother had kidnapped me.

And it was definitely worse when the Giants said they were going to move to Tampa. picture that ran in the San Francisco Chronicle of Brandon Crawford, the now Giants shortstop, as a six-year-old holding a sign begging the owner of the Giants not to move them to Florida. And he is the most beautiful, adorable six-year-old. That is one good thing. But there is this video of him as like a 20-year-old or 22-year-old when he was in like AA, minor league baseball player, just a local tv thing uh that's just him doing his infield practice but his infield practice is just him doing like 20 000 like crazy harlem globetrotters things catching ground balls and it really speaks to my desire in my heart for that to be the best way to practice sports that like anytime athletes are not

in a game they're like shooting backwards with their back to the hoop or like you know jumping off a trampoline to do a slam dunk or like catching the ball in their armpit you know what i mean just showing the generals who's boss exactly like it seems it seems like it feels right that doing crazy stuff would make you good at doing regular stuff right and seeing brandon crawford a great short stop do this and he's not like doing it as a gag like he is trying to practice doing crazy stuff to practice. I just love it because it makes me imagine that that's what's happening behind the scenes in all sports leagues. What would you do if you saw him shag a fly ball into a bag full of meat?

Oh, God. I'd have to buy myself a new pair of trousers. Yeah. You would bust. Talk about bust. You would bust. You'd bust. Yeah. no question about

that i'd split my seams if you know what i'm talking about uh ben has as a noted as a noted cartoon professional if you got to like stoke your daughter with any special privileges if you got to like introduce her to the snowman that josh gad plays or something oh like has she met anything anyone yeah has she just gotten has she have you been able to give her any of the perks of being in the cartoon business no and i keep trying to show her like things of mine and she just doesn't give a shit yet but um something did something kind of happened recently that I guess sort of goes along with that. So the local high school was putting on SpongeBob the Musical. And then we've befriended our neighbors.

So their son goes there. And the mother asked us if we wanted to go. So we took Winnie to go see it. And she loved it. And she keeps asking me if I wrote it. And I was like, no, but I wrote the TV show. Do you want to watch that? No.

You're like, can you introduce me to Jonathan Colton, Dad? Please. The local high school was advertising. Like, they have, like, a TV station at the high school. And they were showing, you know, things, things coming attraction or whatever for the play. And then they showed the writers for it. Like, I guess they wiki'd it,

but they wiki'd the wrong thing. So I came up as the writer of the thing. So my neighbor came over and she was like, did you write the SpongeBob musical? And I wanted to lie and be like a big shot about it, but no. You knew in your heart it wasn't you're very honest you're very honest yeah yeah it's really like trying to find something

in show business that will impress your children is really hard uh and i i like landed on something right before the pandemic that was such a fucking home run with my daughter, which was, uh, I have a friend named Brendan Hay. And he is a very nice, very funny comedy dude, uh, who I is the boss of, or, or at least a sub boss of a cartoon show of gremlins that is coming out. And my daughter loves gremlins. And so he was like, you know, I heard that Grace is really into gremlins. If she ever wants to like come by the office or something like that, she totally can. Like we'd be totally glad to have her and i was like my daughter's gonna fucking love this and then there was a global pandemic guys and i like the the show is still gonna come out but they never had an office

right it wiped the office off the map the only time i ever i made an entire radio show with peewee herman and i couldn't convince my kids to care just tell just both of you just tell your kids you made minecraft whatever they don't know my minecraft i made a you know minecraft that's me she you know she's only like been sort of sentient really for like a couple years now. She's just four. So while we were in California, most of it was a pandemic really for her. Sure, sure. So yeah, she never got to see anything.

I couldn't, never took her to a studio, never did anything. I mean, like speaking of Minecraft, Jordan, like Hodgman, there's a Minecraft TV show called Minecraft Story Mode. I don't know if it still exists but there's definitely a few seasons of it on Netflix or something and when my kids were watching that I like heard it in the background I'm like fuck that's fucking Hodgman and I went and told them they know Hodgman like he John has been in our house on multiple occasions you know what i mean like he's one of my best friends and like they were completely unimpressed by the fact that a guy they know was on the tv show they were watching i would have flipped out if i met a guy who was who was on the ktvu news

uh nick adams has the best version of this and maybe he's told it on the show. But Nick Adams, repeat, former famous recurring guest on this show, has worked on BoJack Horseman. And so he knows Will Arnett. And then he was walking with his kids and ran across Will Arnett. And he's like, hey, kids, let me introduce you to Batman. And then I guess will arnett did the batman voice for the kids and they fucking flipped so yeah uh our old colleague julius smith who was the producer of uh bullseye long ago and the producer of judge john hodren for a long time

uh her husband uh was in the band the aquabats and um he worked on Yo Gabba Gabba uh the television show that they made he's he's not he's not in the Aquabats anymore but I think he still works on theirs on their family of television products um and he was one of the characters in Yo Gabba Gabba one of the cost he was the voice of one of the costume characters. I don't remember. I don't remember which one. I don't remember which one was which, frankly. But he was one of those guys. would ask adam like for their kid's birthday or something to like call and do the voice of roby or whichever one of the broby whichever one of the yo gabba gabbas that that adam was and he would do it and she was like and usually they cry wow usually they're upset by this. Too confusing.

I used to, like, when I worked on SpongeBob as a staff writer, they would do a lot of tours around Nickelodeon. And I used to enjoy. So our head writer was actually the voice of Plankton, this guy Doug Lawrence. He does Plankton. So when the tours would come through, I'd constantly be like, hey, kids, you know who this is? So you'd have to go through doing the voice. It's upsetting villain. I'm just let me put it this way.

Jordan and I are available to make birthday calls as long as work as long as you're cool with us making your children cry. I would be fine with that. Whether they know who we are or not, that will probably be the ultimate result of us calling them. We have one more momentous occasion. Let's hear it. Hey, guys. This is Marissa calling in from New Hampshire for your long-running segment, How JJ Go Changed My Life. changed my life. Well, about this time last year, I was listening to your podcast and Jesse,

you spoke about how impactful your dad's sponsor was on your life. That got me to thinking about the type of community in which I want my kids to grow up. And that combined with a few other factors made me get my butt to an AA meeting. And today is the one year anniversary of my sobriety. It's been hard and wonderful and life is so much better today than it was a year ago. I just wanted to call and say thank you. I know that this show gets billed as a show about nothing, but all of that nothing is really real and really impactful. So thank you. I love you guys. Love your show. Bye. so thank you I love you guys love your show bye okay first of all love you too congratulations

one day at a time Ben I don't want to leave you out of this probably one of the other factors was Jellystone she mentioned that there were other factors also I I'm a little I don't want to like interrupt

these good feelings but but, um, I think she thought she was calling Seinfeld. She said, this is billed as a show about, which was famously, and I don't, and I don't know. We don't know if she thought. I know our number is one letter, our one number off from Seinfeld. Yeah. We're 206-984-4FUN and he's 206-984-4-fud

i don't know why he famously loves superman and elmer fudd elmer fudd yes so yeah so i think this is probably just uh just i mean you know congratulations call i don't know if she'll ever hear this she's probably just like looking for this call on Seinfeld reruns. Yeah. Probably play around watching Channel 24 right now. Yeah. Around 11 p.m. Why aren't they bringing me up?

Yeah. So hopefully if somebody knows this caller, they can relay this. Our congratulations and our thanks to her. Her family probably thanks her too. Everybody around her is probably grateful. And look, I'll say this about this, Jordan. As somebody, I grew up in a family where two of my three parental figures were in recovery. The fact that they were in recovery, the fact that they got sober, it was like

so essential to me growing up to have like a healthy and productive life. If they had had the lives they had before they got sober when I was around, or at least when I was older, I don think i i would have had the the chances and opportunities i had to have a happy healthy life and so i just want to say to this caller that like if he had heard it kramer would be proud of you yeah and not just kramer but newman the soup nazi poppy all of the various ethnic caricatures that populate um you said you had three parental figures did you grow up in a thruple yes i did grow up in a no my my father my father was remarried so i i had a stepmother as well. And both my father and stepmother were clean and sober.

So that was definitely an important part of my childhood, for sure. Yeah, but think about how cool it would have been if there was a throuple. Yeah. Hot. Hot. Hot, man. Definitely, if there was three people I wish spent more time all together, it's my father, my stepmother, and my mother. They definitely all really liked each other and got along great.

That'd have been hot. That'd have been hot. I mean, this was San Francisco in the 80s and 90s. 80s or whatever. Yeah, that sexy times, man. It was San Francisco in the hot town known for its punk rockers on muni buses for its whales in transparent aluminum enclosures for its guys in space outfits wandering around like fish out of water was that a thing just describing the plot of

star trek for its guys talking into computer mice one of the five little computer about on the show do you know that that guy is back and uh not that guy sorry someone from that movie is back you know the dude on the on the bus who plays his music too loud? Like he's playing punk rock music? Yeah, the punk rock guy. And then Spock murders him for playing music too loud. Yes. That dude is back in Picard. This season of Picard.

Whoa. No. Is he really? As the bus punk rock guy? As the same guy. No way. Yes. Swear to God.

The story I heard about that that I don't know if is right or not is that that guy was a musician and they had him playing some like stock music that he felt was not authentic punk rock so he wrote that song yeah he is i don't know if that's true he's also like a famous gosh he was like an important i'm missing not remembering this and star trek nerds are gonna get so mad at me and san francisco nerds are gonna get just as mad at me because it's the one thing that intersects in those things uh he's either like a in a really important ilm guy or a really important like muppet guy i can't remember which but he worked on the production and was a real punk rock guy. And that's how he got that part. My friend Peter Hartlaub is a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle who he writes like he's appeared in the chronicle and like like stuff that san franciscans care about like he's written multiple big things about it's it's the ice cream sandwich yes

absolutely this is like the core of san francisco identity is it's it based just think of it this way we feel about it's it's the way you feel about a gabagool. Oh, okay. Now I understand. I get it now. Or a canole. Or the situation. So, yeah, like he wrote a big, giant retrospective on that guy, like a history of that guy. And that guy turned out to be a super cool dude. And that totally, you're right.

You're totally right, Jordan. That was like his band's music because he felt like the the stuff they gave him was too corny ben i didn't know you were uh i didn't know you were a star trek guy to the point where you're like watching the spinoffs i'm watching i watch them all i watched every single one i listened to uh a star trek podcast one by uh you know there there's one with Andy Secunda and Matt Myra. Yeah. I listened to that. Listen, Ben, if there's a famous Star Trek podcast host, they've been on this show.

Yeah. Yeah. Ben, my best friend accidentally became a full-time professional Star Trek podcaster. So we're on board. Okay. 206-9844-FUN. JJGO at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jessica.

Hey, were you a reader as a kid? Like maybe you read a lot of fantasy novels. Or horse girl books. We know how it is. But now you're an adult and you miss reading. You're so busy and you can't figure out how to get back into books. We're Reading Glasses and we're here to help. Yeah, we'll give you advice to figure out what books you love

or learn to stop reading books you don't even like. We're really big proponents of dumping that book. Dump that book. But most importantly, we'll help you fall back in love with reading. Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Congratulations.

You've won a ticket to attend an exclusive opportunity in a relaxing environment with two lovers. Wow. Well, this sounds like a sort of proposition of sorts, but really it's an ad for our podcast. Wonderful. It's a show we do here on Maximum Fun where we talk about things that we like and things that we're into. I'm Rachel McElroy and you just heard Griffin McElroy. And we are excited for you to join us as we talk about movies and music and books. Things like sneezing or the idea of rain. Can you get news or information you can use?

Absolutely. I don't think so. You cannot because we're here to talk to you about pumpernickel bread. You can find new episodes on Wednesdays. So catch the wave. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

I'm Ben Gruber, and I'm walking over here. He's walking. He's walking. Look, the guy's walking. Over here. Over there. He's walking. He's walking. Look, the guy's walking. Over here. Over there. There he is. Look at me.

Let him do his thing. Let him do his thing. Let the man walk. For God's sake. He just wants to walk. Over here. Benjamin Gruber, it's been a joy to have you on the program. Are you going to send us some of those donuts?

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I'll send you some cider, some donuts, a wing. I'm sure that'll travel well. Yeah. The garbage plate from Rochester. I'll send you the garbage plate. That'd be great.

I'd love a garbage plate. What do you got? What's in a garbage plate? What are the elements? Two hamburger patties, a split hot dog, a mac salad, I believe, and some sort of like a meat, like a very thin meat gravy of some sort. Or like a meat sauce, a very thin meat sauce over top. I'm loving most of this. I don't like the plate.

Can we fit it into a sack? Into a paper sack. It looks like it's got mustard and ketchup on top of it, too. Is that it? Okay, there you go. Hots and potats. Fried potatoes, baked beans, hot dogs,

onions, mustard, and meat sauce. Holy cow. So this is like a famous drunk food this is like yeah like a regional specialty yeah well yeah the base items are yeah home fries pasta salad baked beans mac and cheese french fries and other similar items then that's the foundation. Other similar items. Then it's topped with either grilled Red Hots cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers. That's probably my favorite. What would you say is your favorite topping?

Cheeseburgers? Yeah. That's like a top topping. Yeah. Kind of sundae. Yeah. Just love a steak on top. Yeah.

And then meat sauce, onions, and bright yellow mustard. Wow. And then meat sauce, onions, and bright yellow mustard Often served with a soft roll or a few slices of white bread to sop up all the liquid Yeah, I mean, I'm in for this I'll sop What a nightmare You'll eat that out of a sack, you don't give a shit I'm a simp for the sop You are a famous sop simp

I'm a sop simp over here Sack me, daddy. I love absorbing things. Wait, can I go back to your meat sack for a second? I have to go back to your meat sack. Please. I insist. Did you have cutlery or were you just fisting the meat out of the bag?

No, I was eating it with my hands. 100% eating it with my hands. I was driving sticks. I have sanitary issues. Driving sticks. I'm concerned about hygiene now. I have this tiny van and it has a stick shift. So I'm working the clutch, moving between gears, and then reaching over to the passenger

seat with my left hand, pulling handfuls of hot meat out of the bag. Like wet. It's like pretty wet meat. It's juicy. Okay. I wouldn't say wet. Oh, this meat was so wet. It's oily.

You know? But everyone knows. Everyone who listens to this show knows I'm an oily boy. So your stick shift now is just covered in carnitas goo? It nurtures it nurtures the leather on the knob oh it's so soft it's so supple right right right you gotta nurture the knob if you don't do if you don't get some if you don't get some oil on the knob you're gonna have trouble with chafing oh i can't believe how smooth your knob is now so nice smooth and porky look if you're looking for a great

animated children's program why not check out jelly stone yeah on which ben is the story editor it's very fucking funny so you should just watch watch it with your watch it with the whole family on hbo max it's every single hannah barbara character ever created a fight to the death all in one show fucking yogogi Bear has a trident and a net. It's all of your favorite comedy folks do voices. A lot of famous

guests of this program. You got a Ron Funches in there. You got a Nicole Thurman. You got a Paul F. Tompkins. Tom Lennon hasn't been on the show, but he's Top Cat. He's very funny. It's great. Oh, Dana Snyder. Dana Snyder's hilarious on Jellystone.

Dana Snyder. There's an underappreciated Jordan Jesse Go legend, Dana Snyder. We gotta get Dana back. We gotta have Snyder back. He's great. What a sweet guy. What a fucking funny dude. Yeah, he is so funny on the show. Jellystone is legit hilarious. It's great.

Just packed with dumb, dumb jokes and sight gags and fun songs. It's great. It's hilarious. Yeah. I mean, it's a living. It's a living. The Flintstones garbage disposal would say. Did we talk about that on the air beforehand?

Sorry if we talked about it beforehand and that's confusing. I don't remember. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design sense whatever what is a podcast if not saying things uh 206-9844-FUN jj go at maximumfun.org our theme music love you by the free design thanks to the free design and light in the attic records uh brian sunny d fernandez is our producer on the stream this evening valerie moffett uh go go subscribe to the max fun youtube channel on sunday evenings we've been live streaming this thing look when do we start when we're ready when the guest's microphone is working and all that shit that's when we start okay we're doing our best. You're lucky that we give you this gift.

The gift of our beautiful pusses. Oh, my punim. My beautiful punim that they're saying. My Shana punim. Hey, I'm talking here. I said sopsimp earlier and I'm grossed out, honestly. We found my limit. You said sopsimp earlier

and I'm already texting Brian to design a t-shirt. So that's all. Look, maximumfun.reddit.com on Instagram at JordanDavidMorris at put.this.on on Twitter

at Jordan underscore Morris at Jesse Forn. Follow us Twitter at Jordan underscore Morris at Jesse foreign. Follow us on those social medias. Like us on Facebook. We'll talk to you next time. I'm Jordan. Jessica.

I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. love you.