Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 737: Zamboni Boning with Ben Harrison and Adam Pranica

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

It's MaxFunDrive -- the best time of year to support the show! Go to MaximumFun.org/join to support JJGo and all of the other shows at MaxFun. It really means the world to us.To celebrate the MaxFunDrive, Ben Harrison and Adam Pranica from The Greatest Generation podcast join Jordan and Jesse to talk about the mixed feelings Jesse has about Daniel Radcliffe going viral for rapping a Blackalicious song, party tricks everyone keeps in their back pocket, riding zambonis, and Star Trek themed events everyone's gone to. 

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Aw, gee whiz, is something going wrong? Is something going wrong? I had a night last night. I had a night last night. Oh, boy. I don't know if I can do this.

What happened, buddy? I'm just going to have to push through the humiliation and do the show. Oh, boy. You're humiliated? Something humiliated you last night? Yeah, well, I mean, as you know, Jesse, as I've said many times on this show before, alcohol and smartphones do not mix. Okay.

Oh, wow. You have said that a lot. I mean, you've said that a lot on this show. You've actually, I saw a thing where you said that at a city council. Yeah, I did. They were talking about bike lanes, but I just wanted to let everybody know that alcohol and smartphones do not mix. Yeah. So did you, what happened with you and your alcohol and your smartphones? Well, last night I was, you know, unwinding at the end of the day, having a little cocktail, you know, loosening up.

What were you having? Gin and juice? Gin and Sprite. You know, I'm having um gin and juice gin and sprite you know i'm having my gin and sprite classic combo it's called an old lighthouse the gin really the gin really brings out the lineman in the sprite um you know and i'm kicking back and i'm watching one of my favorite movies, Tombstone. Right. The 90s Western Tombstone. Threw on Tombstone and I'm like, oh boy, Kurt Russell is looking good in this. Kurt Russell is looking great.

And I really love how he's playing this classic legendary lawman. And Kurt's looking good. And this is so weird. I got his number forever ago at a Sprite convention. Right. At the con? Lyman Con? You know.

So I'm watching Tombstone. Kurt's looking good. That was, Jordan, can I say, that was an incredible conference. It was life-changing. I mean, it's a life-changer when you need thirst quenching. Like a kiss with a lime and twist yeah yeah my thirst was quenched my life was changed i met kurt and like obviously you know like kurt looks good all the time but like 90s kurt russell oh sure he's a good looking

guy just ask gold great he's doing a great job playing this legendary law man i've had a couple of drinks and so i text kurt i open up my phone and i text him you erp i can see i can see that he's read it yeah it says red but he hasn't he hasn't replied yeah so i don't he probably just thinks i'm this this like fan boy and i don't i mean i don't i don't know what's up with him and goldie these days right i overstepped my bounds and i'm sorry maybe he'd bring goldie. Yeah? Do you think she's Earp? Is there a Mrs. Earp? Hold on. Hold on, Benjamin. We should introduce him.

I don't really have any more on that. That's kind of where that ends. Our guests on the program, they're the co-hosts of Greatest Generation, among other podcasts. They've got a long list of podcasts. They're our pals. Glad to have them on the show. Adam Pranica and Benjamin Harrison. Hi, boys. Hi. Hello. I wasn't going to usurp

the rules of the show like Ben did. I was going to lay back and cut. You don't want to usurp her. Exactly. Usurp? That's also a saucy text you could send someone. I just really loved that part of the 90s where Criss Cross stopped being the spokespeople for Sprite and Kurt Russell stepped into the void that they left. Yeah.

Absolutely. That was before they started having basketball players. Right, yeah. Sprite invented hip hop, and then they dined out on that for years. But then they were like, maybe we should get Kurt Russell in here. The Sprite Tombstone commercial was so awkward

when Kurt wore his vest backwards to sort of ease the transition. Does a backwards cowboy hat look the same as it looks front ways? I'm not a hat man. Yeah. Does it look the same? It's not wildly dissimilar. It's good enough to pass.

Let's call it that way. The little ribbon that's just on the other side of the head. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Then the feathers face it forward. On the subject of Wyatt Earp. We were talking about Sprite, Jesse. it forward on the subject of uh wyatt erp there's let's talk about sprite jesse i already did all my sprite stuff it's where i do some of the sprite rap from the crisscross sprite commercial man i i'll just say that you're you're you're knowing of the crisscross sprite

rap i have seen in college i have seen jesse like captivate a house party by doing the crisscross Sprite wrap, I have seen in college, I have seen Jesse like captivate a house party by doing the crisscross Sprite wrap. It's a truly amazing party trick. I mean, I think relevant to our specific generation. I don't know how it'd go over with Gen Zers. The Zoomers are not going to care when Jesse starts Sprite wrapping on TikTok. Yeah, these Zoomers with their forward clothes. All these forward clothes. Types like experiences.

It's millennials. Who cares? You know what Zoomers are always doing? Missing the bus and then doing it again. Right. As in the crisscross song, I missed the bus. They'd never ever. Jesse, when is the last time you did the Sprite rap in public?

I mean, I try and do it once a year or so on this show, just to keep it fresh. You still have it on the dome? Could you take it off the dome? I don't think it will ever leave the dome. It's structural to the dome now. The dome is glass panels and the crisscross wrap from the Sprite commercial. That's all that's in there. All your memories are Geodevo.

Can I tell you guys something? Here's the thing about that Sprite wrap. You know how Harry Potter from the movie Harvey Porter did the Blackalicious alphabet rap on late night television and it went viral. I did not know that. Really? I have a lot of questions about what you just said. I've always known that artificial amateurs aren't at all amazing.

Yeah. Thank you, Ben. I was about to do that, but it's fine. It's fine. Bounded by the bomb beats. Basically, I'm bombarding. This is Daniel Radcliffe, the actor. Yeah, so Daniel Radcliffe, the English actor with the round glasses from the movie Harry Potter.

Showed his penis in Equus. Yeah, who showed his penis in the movie Equus. Stage show Equus? Oh, that's where I know him from because I like plays. Right. I'm always seeing plays? Oh, that's where I know him from because I like plays. Right. I'm always seeing plays. Oh, me and plays. Oh, I can't stop seeing plays.

That's where I know him from. Plays. He wrote an amazing work of dramatic genius based on a little tossed off news report in a newspaper. Yeah. Just incredible. About Harry Potter's crank. It involved showing Radcliffe's dog. It's the little thing in a newspaper about what would it be like if we could see Harry Potter's dick.

So, yeah, on the Jimmy Fallon show or something, I just presume. I don't remember that it is Jimmy Fallon, but it probably was on Jimmy Fallon, right? Which may be on the Steve Allen Tonight show is what you're saying. Yeah, it might have was on Jimmy Fallon, right? Which may be on the Steve Allen Tonight show is what you're saying? Yeah, it was. It might have been on with Steve Allen. Ernie Kovacs was known for his genre busting things like showing

Harry Potter's dick. He went on there and he did this song that Ben and I, I mean, you guys may or may not know this song, but certainly like in the adolescence and post-adolescence of Ben Harrison and I, two guys from the San Francisco Bay Area that love rap music. The rap group Blackalicious loomed large, R.I.P. Gift of Gab. ground rap famous was a song where gift of gab did a long sort of fast breathless rap that uh featured words that started with each letter of the alphabet it started artificial amateurs aren't at all amazing um and uh and harry potter went on tv and rapped it um and that went absurdly viral, dramatically more viral than the song, like the actual song that an actual rapper did.

Just like profound. And it is it is given me such deeply mixed feelings over the past seven years since he did it on TV. Like so it's like like like Blackaliciousicious one of the most important things of my like age 16 to 20 right when that thing is the most important in the world to you and it's so incredible to see a movie star honoring it on television like it's not something you would ever think you know they made one record on a major label and it didn't do very well. They never had a hit song. Um,

you know, they're under the, the very definition of underground legends, um, who deserve all the publishing they can get from a viral video on YouTube. Um, but also it is so fucking weird that it's Harry Potter rapping.

That's even weirder than when Jimmy Fallon raps. It's like rap gentrification. It is. I'm surprised you're okay with that. It is 100% underground rap gentrification. It is so, so weird. That's weird. Are people just, are you concerned that you

know like it wasn't all him but it was like some magic too yeah i mean that seems possible magic it seems possible he there was also a couple of verses that were pretty transphobic and i found that upsetting that was just text from harry potter yeah that was just stuff from harry potter he swapped some stuff in that jk rowling wrote the uh the letters w and y exactly artificial amateurs are all gender critical what a fucking horrible person i think to prevent from being yelled at we should probably say that uh the daniel radcliffe has been on kind of the right side of that right is am i am i wrong about that yeah he seems like a really good dude in fact i think all of the harry potter original harry

potter people have all been like yeah uh lady thanks for giving us our career, but go fuck yourself. Yeah. Yeah. As someone who constantly kind of feels like on the peripheral of Harry Potter stuff, I was like, oh, yeah, good job, those people. I think that's what's going on. I hope that's what's going on. Way to be child actors that grew up good and are still working and not dickheads. Yeah. In fact, they're dick dicks they're showing their dicks they're also dick dicks the tiny antelope small antelope uh on the topic of

wait on the top jordan i need to say this one wyatt erp thing before we get to this is not anything i want to be clear that this isn't anything, but you know how there's Wyatt Earp? In the world of antiques, there's this coppersmith that was one of the most important of the arts and crafts movement. Made incredible lamps and vases and stuff. Just totally breathtaking, hand-hammered lamps and stuff. Is this what mansplaining is? Like Jesse just telling us all some shit we already know? Yeah. And I've always wanted one of these incredible lamps. They're so beautiful.

They're pretty expensive. But the main reason I want them is because his name is Dirk Van Erp. Good name. And you're like, this is like one of the great artisans of the late 19th, early 20th century. The man's name was Dirk Van Erp. Great name for that era. Yeah. Very premium.

Okay. Sorry, Jordan. Go ahead and do a real thing. I was going to ask Adam and Ben on the topic of Jesse having this great party trick of being able to do the Sprite rap. Do y'all have anything that you can bust out at a party that always works? I bet Adam does. Oh, God. I'm racking my brain about this.

When was the last time you went to a party? Like, that's going into the deep, deep memory. Yeah. Party is not something I have as an available pull. Just as a thought. But no longer in the dome. Well, let's say, I'll rephrase the question. Anything that really kills at a star trek convention do you have anything that destroys with your pets

oh man you know what the same thing that destroys with my pet destroys the star trek convention i bring a dried bull penis and uh give those out to people. They really enjoy them. Yeah, just bring some rawhide, some pig's ears. I went to a summer camp where there was a kind of kid that was sort of profoundly socially awkward in a way. Where the whole camp kind of adopted him as a marvel. Just because he would miss a social cue so profoundly that everybody was like, he's a sweet guy. Let's just like, he's a sweet guy. He's included in everything. It was a celebration.

Did you just feel so grateful that they were there, Ben, at the same camp that you were at? It had to make you feel good, right? But he did, like, Talent Night came around and so many people had like so many amazing talents. He did all 14 minutes of rappers delight to close out the show. Wow. Holy shit. Just had the whole thing. And it was,

he, he kept everybody's energy up for 14 minutes on stage in a way that was just like one of those, like, you know, it was like a Rudy moment. Everybody's just like, yeah,

that guy, he's so fucking weird, but he totally did it. It's incredible to me. I think sometimes about the fact that it was like 1979. There had basically literally been no rap songs. Like there's a couple of like proto rap songs and there were people rapping. I think William Shakespeare would disagree with that. Fair enough. proto rap songs and there were people rapping i think you know it will be shakespeare would disagree with that thank you ben fair enough bob dylan of course the greatest of them all ben does it ben does it hurt to sit in your chair backwards like

that when my hat's also backwards oh that's how that works i couldn't tell because you're wearing a cowboy hat. I have no idea what we were talking about. Rapping. So, you know, there were like there was like a couple of sort of semi proto rap songs that came out before Rapper's Delight. But really, like Rapper's Delight was the first rap record. Right. Like, for real, it was the first rap record right like for real it was the first rap record honestly and rappers delight is so fucking great like they like they didn't write the raps first of all these guys were not rappers these were just guys that a record company owner knew one of them

worked in a pizza place that she went to they were just like she's just like let me get she had written like uh she had written some like sexy novelty r&b songs in the early 70s and that's why she had a record label and like she just knew some she's like i've heard about rapping i gotta get some i gotta get some young guys i know to come in like they just bought some raps off of some actual rappers they just like gave busy b 40 bucks or whatever and just had him tear a few pages out of his book and he was like this is the most money anyone has ever made on rap yeah they didn't know how to record or make or like cut together breakbeats. Like, you know, like the DJs, you know, DJs have two turntables. They cut between two copies of the same record to make the breakbeat, right? And Good Times, the Sheik song, one of the great breakbeats, right? They didn't know how to do that. So they just had a band play it continue play just the one break continuously for 14 minutes and like all of these elements came together that made like one of the greatest songs ever

that everyone likes uh that a kid can rap at a talent show for 14 straight minutes and people will applaud at the end and also if, if it hadn't worked, rap wouldn't exist anymore. This dude that worked at a pizza place being hired by like a sexy R&B singer from 10 years previous because she had heard rapping was something is like the I mean, maybe Curtis Blow would have made the breaks or whatever, but like probably not. It is amazing that it is still like good and fun and like still fucking rules when it comes on the radio. Honestly, like those like records of the very beginning of rap, those like, you know, all the Sugar Hill singles, like all of them, you're kind of like, when it comes on, like, they're all pretty dumb. Don't get me wrong. But like, you're like, yeah, this rules.

This is great. Like white lines or whatever. You're like, yeah, fuck yeah. White lines. Yeah. You're like the message. Yeah. Broke my sacroiliac. That song wasn't even written by Mlly mel that song was written by like

an engineer on their session whoa the first conscious rap song yeah uh our weird kid in junior high um that was uh to my knowledge uh embraced uh you know at when maybe there's another thing that could have happened that would have been worse he um just spent the whole year talking like butthead from beavis and butthead sure not not beavis and butthead but just butthead and like he would answer questions as butthead like um uh the one that goes like this and And he fucking did it great. He sounded just like Butthead. And people would just have conversations with him.

I'm like, hey, it's great that this kid can just be Butthead for a year. Our friend Jim Royale, the master of Would You Rather, is one of the most socially fluid people that I know. Just a charmer who everyone loves. A handsome man, a beloved man and he spent the first six months of kindergarten talking like a robot yeah like to the point where he had to like have meetings about it like parent teacher conferences like where the principal was like how do you do that great voice you sound just like robocop my childhood best friend uh pete often reminds me of how deep into elementary school i would go to school with a milk mustache like into like fourth grade

i still was showing up at school with a milk mustache. Well, you were drinking your milk. That's how you got so tall. Well, I mean, have you guys looked at these bones? I totally misunderstood that, Jesse. I thought you were like how deep into the day you would still be wearing a milk mustache. It's cocktail hour. It's third recess.

He's still wearing it. It's 5 p.m. How much milk are you drinking? Speaking of, Adam and Ben, do you guys both have cocktails? I do. I'm just drinking straight rum. Rum on ice today. Not a mixed drink.

I mean, I guess it's rum mixed with ice. I think a cocktail definitionally has like a, a strong, a sweet and a sour or something like that. Like there's, I think there's some formal definition of a cocktail. This would not qualify. Yeah. Adam, are you drinking a cocktail? Yeah, I guess I misspoke. I just have a lot of tequila in a glass with ice. Wow. And also, uh, I took a lot of decongestants about an hour ago so like is that a is that a sweet or a sour yeah cocktail parlance ben uh yeah i would say that's a uh that's a neutral if i chewed them up before swallowing them i'd know ben for for years you were the

host of the cocktail podcast let's drink about it yeah did you guys ever make any of those cocktails from like before 1910 you know what i mean like in there was some point where hotels started serving oysters rockefeller right and making manhattans or whatever at the age of the like printed recipe or whatever it was 1920 and then like before that cocktails were mostly like like whole milk fresh from the teat and raw eggs right yeah everything was just george washington's eggnog recipe yeah it's just everything had buttermilk in it. And you're like, what? Yeah. What? Buttermilk and clear liquor is the whole recipe? I don't think we ever took it that seriously. We mostly did drinks that sounded good or gag drinks.

Jordan was on an episode where we made, I can't remember what it was called, but it was a drink that featured a hot dog as a garnish. And you cooked the hot dog, and then the water that- You used the water. Yeah, the water that you cooked the hot dog in was part of the beverage. Oh, it was the Frank Collins, is what it was called.

And I think it was- Tom's brother Frank. Yeah. Tom's fucking gross ass brother frank tom's carnivore brother um which was bad and then our our co-host lizzie eventually made a vegan version and she got some mars marzipan hot dogs from germany oh god dear lord how is how did she find something worse than a hot dog cocktail? Yeah, I don't know.

She's since quit drinking, so it kind of came out the right way for her. I don't drink, guys. I mean, when I'm at a bar, I'm ordering maybe like a ginger ale with a dash of bitters or something like that. But have you guys ever had any truly bizarre cocktails? bitters or something like that but if you guys ever had any like truly bizarre cocktails uh adam and i have a have a bit of a tradition when we go to seattle which is to go to a place called canon that has uh wonderful bizarre cocktails uh i think mostly bizarre in presentation uh there's one that's like presented in a in an iv bag like there's literally like a rack that comes to your table and it's a do you put it in your mouth or veins yeah you just mainline it

so many people tapping arms in that bar yeah um you know there's one that's like comes under a dome that's filled with smoke and it just looks like a white dome and then they like unveil it and and the the smoke dissipates and they tell you to lean in and smell the smoke and imagine you're at a at a at a campfire in georgia but it's not all georgia specifically the drinks are actually really good even if they're coming out of a plastic iv bag right yeah somehow they make they like like they make the gimmickiness of it like the least important part of it right the at the height of the um at the height of the pickleback the

pickleback had a had a moment um peak pickleback yeah when would you say when would you say was was peak pickleback oh was it 2009 yeah i'm sure i don't know if it coincided with the rise of nickelback but um i think about it and it makes me laugh it seemed to be i mean we we we talked about the vibe shift a couple weeks ago on the podcast it seemed to be like it seemed to coincide with with like with indie sleaze right is that the the vibe that was uh some time ago and i think that's when picklebacks were in and yeah that was one of those things when i saw i saw people ordering them and i was like this is this is the most like you know affected like dumb weird for weird sake thing like you dorks why are you doing this ha ha ha yeah yeah yeah but then i had one

i'm like fuck these are good shit this is actually really good i was uh really bummed what exactly is a pickleback guys uh it is it is like it's like pickle brine and whiskey it's like a shot you do one and you do the other yeah and uh it's really good okay 2006 brooklyn bartender reggie cunningham gave the shot it's now famous name at the bushwick country club yeah that's all everything you've said checks out 100 so sure yeah the bushwick country club bushwick country club was cool i i remember visiting that they had like um i think they had like i don't know i think they had like a shitty like three hole mini golf setup in the back like like the mini golf and you're saying this was in brooklyn in 2006 yeah like like the kind of mini golf that the four of us could put together if

we tried not the kind of mini golf that like somebody that knew what they were doing could do uh when i heard you guys were coming on the show, I had a memory of my my college girlfriend was a real was a real Trekkie. Oh, I'm listening. Had a had a like a how to speak Klingon cassette tape. And one of our bad trips we took together where we fought most of the way was going to the Star Trek experience in Vegas. It was at the Hilton, I want to say. Yeah. Wow. And one of the nice memories from that trip, which was kind of a bad trip, was having Ferengi drinks.

Did either of y'all ever go to that and is it still there because I know the Star Trek ship maybe isn't there anymore what's the status I don't think it's still there I'm happy to report that Star Trek is dabbling in having a bar now Adam and I went to the

10 forward experience in here in LA. It was like a pop-up. And it was based on the 10 Forward, not of Star Trek The Next Generation, which I feel like if they'd built, they would have just had to do it as a permanent thing that everybody can go to. But it was based on the 10 Forward of the current season of Star Trek Picard, which is just a normal bar. Weirdly, they did have Whoopi Goldberg there. Yeah. Yeah.

Weirdly, she was there. Okay. I have two questions. Yeah. What did they... I want to know about the theming of the drinks. I want to know what y'all had that you liked or didn't like and how it was related to Star Trek. And question two, how horny was the whole affair whenever you get a bunch of nerds eating all you can eat tacos the vibe is extremely horny and that was the vibe yeah that was one of the cool

parts of it is like it was all you can eat and what a strange choice that is from a yeah from a studio do they ever eat tacos in star trek never i think there was a breakfast burrito on an episode of star trek discovery i think picard was munching a little taco if you know what i mean wow hell yeah yeah he was eating pussy you got it jordan you followed where i was driving i loved it i went to that star trek bar at the in las vegas one time uh the public radio conference was there and i went there but it was after they lost the star trek license oh no and so it was just a star trek theme. It was a Star Trek The Next. This was in like 2008 or something. It was a Star Trek The Next Generation themed bar that had no Star Trek in it.

It even had like a transporter room, but just only it was just like the Hilton space bar. Transportation room. Yeah, exactly. It was called like Space Drinks or something. It was so weird and sad, and I wish I was there right now. I'm your bartender, Captain Cork. It's me, Whoopi Goldberg. The Star Trek convention in Las Vegas is a weird casualty of the pandemic. It was, I think it was supposed to be their last official year with the license in 2020

and they had to cancel it because pandemic. So it, uh, it didn't happen for two years and then, or I guess that, no, they just skipped a year, but when they brought it back, the license had lapsed and it had gone to a different company that runs conventions like this so they they continued to use the hashtag stlv for star trek las vegas but it was this weird thing where like it was clearly not like they couldn't say star trek and they couldn't say a bunch of things and like all of the logos on everything were like a fake sci-fi badge logo that wasn't anything from star trek they just licensed space force and went from there pretty much live frequently and do well

do not die in a war and live very long Live frequently and do well. Do not die in a war and live very long. You guys are just finishing up your double dumbass tour about Star Trek 4. Thanks for inviting me, by the way. Well, we still have a show in your hometown of San Francisco, Jesse, in February. So you can wait. I happen to beica's number one star trek 4 celebrity um narrowly beating out the punk rock guy that gets that gets uh murdered on a bus by spock for playing his music too loud um my this is my question it's about the punk rock guy that gets murdered on a bus.

Jesse, we talked about this guy like two weeks ago. Yeah, no shit. Sorry. And I did the Sprite rap too. Okay. This is a pledge drive episode. I'm pulling out the greatest hits. Okay, let's hear it.

Yes. Do you want to hear some shit about me growing up in San Francisco? Because I got it locked and loaded. The timer guy punched me for wearing the same jacket as he was wearing. This can be. Did you kill a guy on a bus? Yeah, I did did and i felt no remorse because i was only half human wow yeah does that but does that punk rock guy go to star trek conventions i don't think we've seen him at them no he he has his own career separate from star trek yeah that seems like the number one guy i mean sorry walter koenig i want to see the punk one guy. I mean, sorry, Walter Koenig.

I want to see the punk rock guy that got murdered by Spock on that bus. That is a murder move, right? The clamp, the space clamp

is famous. The Vulcan death grip. Yeah. They have to call it the space clamp at the bar in Las Vegas because they lost the license. Well, he does kill

that guy, right? We joke a lot about how he kills that guy but then he she showed up in star trek picard so i don't know if that was his twin brother or what but yeah i mean it's weird because as far as anybody else on that bus knows they killed him and they just applaud yeah like we're glad you killed that guy i mean that's basically where san francisco's at now in 2022 just fucking guys that are vice presidents at salesforce applauding for people murdering people on buses get rid of the riffraff is their motto yeah he seems like an undesirable type to have around here made state of emergency means you can kill punk rock guys on buses.

Yeah. If you are good at coding. You guys want to take a little break and do a space clamp and then come back and talk about the Max Fun Drive? Sure. Let's do it. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Chess to go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, adam pranica benjamin r harrison guys it's the max fun drive it's the max fun drive that's the one time a year when we steal each other's names

and ask you to support maximum fun uh we have been this has been going great it's nice it's nice to feel like we are coming to you the listener at a time when our lives are mending it's been a tough it's been a tough couple max like, backwards, quiet MaxFun drives because we don't want to worry anyone. And it's nice to come at you full bore. You know what I mean? Let's do this Rambo style, full frontal assault MaxFun drive. Yeah. So if you go to MaximumFun.org slash join, you can support this show.

You can support Greatest Gen. You can support this show you can support greatest gen you can support all the cool shows on maximum fun uh the cash you're spending it goes to the hosts it goes to the producers it goes to the staff of max fun it just generally keeps the lights on and uh make sure that um maximum fun doesn't have to sell to a um a giant super company with uh dubious morals yeah i mean my plan right now is if this Maxon Drive doesn't go right, I'm selling it to Soylent. You know, that drink for people that hate food. Is it true that Musk wanted to buy MaxFun and you said no, right?

And that's why he bought Twitter? Did you see what he just tweeted? Yeah, he said something about maximum fun this dot org slash join i only wish this this week elon musk i mean it has been the only thing in my entire inbox for days and days and days and days but this week he tweeted let's make twitter maximum fun wow i. I'm not shitting you. Well, hey, if Elon Musk can get five bucks a month to donate to his favorite podcast. Maximum fun is still an independent company.

You know, the last few years, straight through the pandemic, podcasting has been consolidating. It's been being taken control of by big money left and right um the like rush of venture capital and stuff has been turning into the agglomeration of like giant media companies uh the last couple of years and we are very proud that Maximum Fun is still independent. Our shows are still creator-owned. Besides that, we continue to put our shows on open platforms and believe in open platforms. We want everybody to be able to listen to Max Fun shows. The way that you, who are listening right now, can make that possible for everyone is by becoming a member. Not everyone can afford to become a member, but if you can, now is the time to do it. It starts

at just five bucks a month, which I bet you can do because I happen to know for a fact that you recently canceled Netflix. Plus, you've got all that savings from your CNN Plus subscription. Yeah. If you have a streaming service that maybe you don't use a lot uh think about maybe throwing a little bit of that money to max fun it does not make a difference to that streaming service but it makes a huge huge difference to these shows which uh yeah kind of kind of the idea is that these don't have to be giant mega blockbusters but they can just have a group who care about them enough to support, but they can just have a group who care about them enough to support them and they can get by. Because yeah, if this show was put

out by a giant mega company, it would not be put out by them because not enough people listen. So look, Greatest Gen is a successful show. Jordan Jesse Goh is not even a tiny mini blockbuster. And the reason that this show has existed for so many years, despite the fact that Jordan has spent the last 10 years worried that someone in a show business meeting will have heard him, is because of the support of you, the members of Maximum Fund. And look, we have all kinds of great rewards. you the members of maximum fun and look we have all kinds of great rewards we've already we went we went over these rewards but uh you know we've got the patches we've got dad hats uh we've got i was just looking at the max fun creativity pack uh danny baruella our colleague at max fun uh put it up on the instagram looking hunky with the shaved head too dan i saw danny i saw danny at carrie poppy's wedding i could not believe how he was wearing

a suede sport coat he looked like fucking kojak he looked spectacular he was wearing a turtleneck and a suede sport coat he looked great adam and i texted earlier today about how great danny is looking these days he looks gorgeous he's got big eyeglasses anyway so if you want the employees of maximum fun to have enough money to shave their heads get turtlenecks can get turtlenecks uh maximum fun.org slash join okay but what jordan this is what i going to say about that creativity pack. So it's 54 cards, and each card has an inspirational idea for an activity on it. So what you can do, they all have gorgeous illustrations. You shuffle the deck, you pull something out, and you get something inspiring from one of us, one of here at maximum fun do you remember what ours is

jordan i think ours has to do with uh when you're feeling down just go to youtube search alan thick sweaty and hot yeah and then get sweaty and hot i think it's the part that i added to that so yeah it's uh there's a lot a lot of cool gifts and uh i think probably the probably the best selling point of this whole thing is you get over 350 hours of bonus content, including some stuff maybe we'll talk about in the next break. But there's a butt ton of bonus content that you get for just a couple bucks a month. And, yeah, hopefully you go over there to MaximumFun.org slash join and support us. Look, there's all kinds of levels. support us. Look, there's all kinds of levels. But what I really want to emphasize is that the thing that makes a difference to us, if you are able, of course, but the thing that

makes a difference to us is that you participate in this. There's many levels and God bless you if you got the scratch to kick it up a few notches. But I don't want anybody who joins at that $5 a month level to feel like they are less than because you are the heart of Maximum Fund. Most of our donors are at that level and participating, showing us that this stupid thing that we make is important enough to you that you think it's worth paying for a little bit means the absolute world to us, both in terms of, you know, both in terms of our pocketbooks, the fact that we can keep doing this show despite it ruining Jordan's career. And personal life.

Don't forget personal life. That's true. Jordan's Tinder bio says, not the one from Jordan, Jesse Go. The soccer player. Yeah, that's the ticket. But also, it doesn't just mean that to our pocketbooks. It means that to our hearts. The best part of MaxFunDrive for me is just marveling that people like this thing enough to support us when they don't have to. We're not making them. We're not making you, but we're so grateful when you become a member of MaxFun. It means the world to us. So thank you very much. It's MaximumFun.org

slash join. And we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan, Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio. Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective,

Ben Harrison should have had something chambered. Adam Pranica, Benjamin R. Harrison guys. Um, I, I have a quick Burbank update. Just a real quick one. Oh, yeah. Stuff you saw out the window in Burbank or just general Burbank? No, this isn't Burbank news. This is just a store I saw.

I felt bad because I listed most of the stores within eyeshot of where I get my physical therapy in Burbank. Right. But I went to physical therapy today and I realized that I had forgotten to mention Irma's Victorian Heritance, which is a hair salon. Wow. Heritance is H-A-I-R-I-T-A-N-C-E. Is that a pun on inheritance? It must be a pun on inheritance. Yeah, because it can't be.

Or heritage? Heritage? Do you think she meant, Irma meant to name it Irma's Victorian Heritage and then accidentally named it Irma's Victorian inheritance. You know, what really sets us along apart is adherence to old styles that are not worn anymore. Yeah.

That's really how you make it in the game of women's hairdressers. That's a salon with some powder. Guys, I hate to bring this up, but I'm Irma. Oh, dude. I'm so sorry. We were really dragging you. Yeah.

I spent my life's fortune on that hair salon. Do you think there's an Irma Earp? Sorry, I just had to run all the way back and grab that to bring it back up here. I'm really winded. Appreciate that. That was almost worth it. I was just going to ask where you got your life's fortune. to run all the way back and grab that to bring it back up thanks adam we did appreciate that that was almost worth it i was just gonna ask where you got your life i loved it was it from a previous

generation therefore an inheritance listen i don't know okay i was i was doing bath salts. I was buying salons. I don't remember. Who among us? Did you know that in the 19th century, rich people, first of all, rich ladies had little chains that had all the shit they needed on them, like sewing scissors and stuff? I support that 100%. Yeah. One of the things that they also had on a little chain was like a little jar full of something that smelled nice because everything smelled like shit in the entire world. By little chain, do you mean like Pandora bracelet or a necklace situation? Like a wallet chain, but for a giant Victorian skirt, like a long wallet chain like imagine the lead singer of a of like the offspring or whatever on his off day but he's wearing a giant skirt and the chain is imagine

comedian greg barrett and he's got a triple length greg barrett chain and a giant skirt. And on there, there's like a magnifying glass, a tiny pair of scissors, like a thimble, everything that a lady would need. He's just not that into leaving tools at home. Great job, Adam. Great job.

Greg Barrett, one of the greats. Is my wife a Victorian lady? Because she's got my nuts on her chain. Thanks, Jordan. Thanks, Jordan. Can I be clear that I'm not making fun of greg baron who's a wonderful man and a brilliant and hilarious man i just i felt like i was got worried that i was i was making fun of greg baron i wasn't but he does

have a wallet chain he loves wallet chains um irma's victorian inheritance just wanted to bring that up uh did i also mention the I mentioned the reptile store, right? You did? Okay, thank God. I got worried. I saw the reptile store. I thought fuck, what if I didn't mention the reptile store? Where are Jordan and Jesse Goh listeners going to get their reptiles

in Burbank? I think we're probably a little ways away from our return to live shows for Jordan and Jesse Go. But yeah, we got to do it. We got to do a live show from the Strip in Burbank at some point, I feel like. Oh, yeah. Block off the street. We can book that church screening room.

Yeah. What do we tell them? That it's a religious service or a screening? I feel like religious service is going to be an easier sell. Adam and I have done a couple of live shows lately, and we did a show in a theater in D.C. that we found out was owned by a church and therefore had a church's liquor license, which meant they could do wine but not spirits. We like to get a bottle of tequila backstage, and they were like, you can have some Chardonnay. And we're like damn

it really like oh sacramental wine oh the blood of christ it sucks you're like i'm supposed to get hummus and crudités not a giant tray of wafers yeah what about i going to drag the bread of heaven through the hummus? Are you kidding me? If something momentous happens to you, like you happen to find yourself having a little nosh on the body of Christ, give us a call, 206-984-4FUN, or email us at jjgoe at maximumfun.org. Look, feel free to call in a store you saw in Burbank. I mean, I think a store I saw in Burbank is going to be the most durable Jordan Jesse Go bit of all time. I'm going to be bringing it back

each time I see a store in Burbank. 206-9844-FUN or a voice memo to JJGo at MaximumFun.org. Here's a momentification. Hi, Jordan, Jesse, guest. I'm going to say Paul Fula thompkins congratulations i'm finally getting them guys uh so yeah i got a momentification here um i'm a divorced dad or in the middle of a divorce and part of my sad divorce dad habits is trying to connect my son better through Pokemon Go. So doing my divorced dad nightly Pokemon Go trip around the park,

hitting up PokeStops for Pokeballs, I stop at the final stop on my way out to hit this spot with a Pokegym and two PokeStops so I can, you know, top up with my Pokeballs so I can catch cool Pokemon to impress my son, who I no longer have close to the earth. Anyway, as I'm pulling into the parking lot to hit up this final poker stop, I stumble across a, now, mind you, this is about one o'clock in the morning. I stumble across a pickup truck there's a man kind of leaning in

all hunched over the passenger seat of his truck anyway i i go i get my pokeballs i catch a fucking toted aisle while i'm there i uh go to pull out i'm like wondering what this guy's doing by his truck and i look out and i notice this is just like a, I don't know, about 60, maybe 70-year-old man just going to town on his wife in the passenger seat of the truck. You know, I tried to be a little bit discreet, you know, as I tried to, like, further discern what I was actually seeing. But I made eye contact with this old man as he's just plowing full force with all of his old man strength. Oh, it was, I mean, it was a pretty good way to end a night, honestly.

Anyway, I love the show. You guys have a good day. So I just want to say that, like, I want to honor what this guy is going through because I've never been divorced myself. But my dad was divorced. My dad was twice divorced, actually. And I know that the hardest thing sometimes is when you see couples, you know, holding hands on a boardwalk or, you know, kissing on a Ferris wheel or plowing in a pickup truck. It reminds you of what you don't have. It's funny, this guy was catching Pokemon,

but plowing your wife in a pickup truck, it's also called catching a squirtle. Especially as you get older, you know? Yeah. That's a pretty high value water type. Sure. He's weak to lightning. I don't know.

Can you imagine you're just a single man wandering around a park at one o'clock in the morning? Like a cop stops you. What are you doing here sir you're like well i'm trying to there's there's a two poke stops in a poke gym i'm trying to impress my eight-year-old and the cop's like either start plowing your wife or get out you want to impress an eight-year-old tell them about the the truck you saw what was happening inside it's gray pubes or nothing asshole yeah that's interesting i think we we talk a little bit about the trajectory of our momentous occasions and and you know we're trying to encourage listeners to call in with

all new stuff stuff we haven't heard before novelty novelty sure i think this this this foots the bill for a couple of reasons i don't think we've had you know i saw i witnessed older people having public sex before so that's nice but also i think in the early days of the show obviously we had a lot of i got engaged i you know we had our first kid uh they said yes my first girlfriend my first sexual experience and now we got some divorces rolling in that's fun i think that's fantastic you know what i would like love to hear about if you're out there you're a jordan jesse go listener maybe you called in about your marriage when you got married maybe you called in about the first house you bought let's hear about your gout give us a call let us know about the gout how painful is it you

got the shingles or did you get the shingles vaccine give us a call 206-9844-FUN JJ go at maximumfun.org forget a grandkid's name was the giveaway about the old people fucking in this truck the turn signal that was just on the entire time that's how you know right that's how you know before you know you guys you guys you what happens is i mean you you ben you and adam may know this jordan you may learn this one day but when you're with a partner for a really long time you know that warmth and fondness leads to a sort of sexual comfort, which leads inexorably toward turn signal stick DP. Yeah.

Right. Just, uh, using that turn. So you grease it up and go to town, you know? Um, what is it?

I was, what's that knob called? I call mine, John Thomas. Brian, we got another call in there? Hey, Brian, Jordan, Jesse, and guests. This is Roz from Langley, British Columbia. This month marks 20 years since I started cleaning for a living,

and that is not my momentous occasion. That is actually a thing that fills me with quite a bit of a mid-30s life crisis spiral panic, and in the midst of that, I've been having a hard time at work lately. I've been cleaning a big rec center that has an ice hockey arena in it, and a couple of months ago i decided to learn how to maintain that arena ice which means that last night i drove a zamboni for the first time this is why we invented this segment was awesome if there's if there's one message that i can kind of put out there into the world everybody's got to get themselves on a zamboni you you just go get that bone friends

oh man have a super day uh we will thanks to you roz great this is out here is there a bone is there a better reason to go to MaximumFun.org slash join? I don't think so. I can't imagine one. I was 100% sure she was just going to talk about some dildos she found. I mean, like, not just. I want to be clear. Not just.

But if you're a cleaner and you're calling into Jordan Jesse Go, probably what you're calling in about is some dildos you found, which would be great. Sure. That's a call we'll take. Look, if you're a person whose job involves going into other people's houses call us tell us what you found there's no i don't want to discourage you from telling us what you found i just didn't expect it to be fucking taken to this stratospheric level of i just drove a zamboni did ross just drop the mic on your signature segment guys yeah let's drop the mic on your signature segment, guys? Yeah.

Let's drop the mic on the show. Roz is the new host. Yeah. It's going to be all Zamboni talk from here on out. And then you get an occasional call from Pokemon guy. And maybe the world of these two calls could be joined at some point. And we'll hear about a little boning on the bony. Oh, bony boning

great fish bones when i uh when i uh when i worked in high school at the opera house in san francisco um i would i would sometimes have hours where i was the only person in the opera house because i was changing light bulbs and i'd be going around changing light bulbs and the number one thing i would do is there were like um concession stands you know in the opera house and i would get one of those i would pull one of the plastic cups from behind the bar and i would make myself a suicide with the soda that was in the tube because they would disconnect the sack, but there would still be some in the tube. So I would go, I'd get like five ounces of soda by going through all the tubes. And, uh, yeah. Do you guys ever do anything at the, at, at work

while no one else was there? mean obviously the one thing but besides that um yeah gosh let me think if i ever been alone at a job i mean oh i mean gosh this is uh so i worked at i had a job at like a department store but not in the store like in the stock room i worked in a department store stock room yeah and we've seen the show today's special yes it was exactly as glamorous as that everybody asks how was it like today's special and i say yes it was were you friends with the mice or and a talking mannequin am i remembering that show correctly like a security guard and then there was a security guard that was a puppet that loved jellybean sandwiches okay okay uh yes all that was true it was probably canadian uh and that would have a lot of like there's a truck coming in late at

night type things and it would you know we would have to get there at 10 o'clock um and sometimes when it was just me uh and this is a era before, like, this is certainly an era before podcasts and any kind of like, you know, I think the personal audio you could have with you is like a Discman or something. But there was a little AM FM radio in the stockroom. And sometimes when we were doing it late at night, I could listen to Coast to Coast with Art Bell. That's the dream to listen to Coast to coast while you're in a spooky stock room yeah really nice and to hear about your big foots your aliens how the 12 tribes of israel live at the center of the earth i tried so hard to get art bell on bullseye like we really tried to get art bell on bullseye before he died and we like, there was like occasional times when we thought that we were getting

somewhere and then it would fall off. Oh, what a bummer. Yeah. And I realized, I'm sure Coast to Coast is still going and maybe now it is politically dangerous in some way. Yeah, it seems likely. I have not listened to it in a long time, But I have very fond memories of a more innocent time Now what would make you say that, Jordan?

I mean, like, what about the conspiratorial mindset Has gotten political these days? Ben, Coast to Coast now is about the groomers At the center of the earth Yeah, right There's secret messages in Kanto Which are coincidentally also the Lost Tribes of Israel. That's true.

206-9844-FUN, JJGo at MaximumFun.org. Look, you can call in with a momentous occasion or just tell us some shit you found in somebody's house. You know what I mean? Look, if you're a burglar, even better. I'd love to get a burglar call. Yeah. Sure. Money or turd

i think the finest burglar of all would be a ham burglar ham we'll take three any any of the three main burglars money ham or turd hey brian i'm just i'm just pretty sorry for you having to screen all those calls of people just calling in and leaving a message of Robble Robble 206-9844-FUN, JJGO at MaximumFun.org Robble Robble, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, Go It's Jordan, Jesse, Go, I'm Jesse Thorne, la. It's Jordan Jesse Doe. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. A Jordan Morris boy detective. Ben Harrison should have had something chambered. Adam Pranica.

Benjamin R. Harrison. This is our final pledge break of the Max Fund Drive 2022. And I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you because of this. I have had a monumentally difficult couple of years, difficult more than I could possibly have imagined I and my life has been supported by members of Maximum Fun. I was dealing with monumental challenges. I didn't have to worry about, can I pay my mortgage? I didn't have to worry about, can I pay for this help that I need or that help that I need?

Or do I need to fight with this insurance? Or can I just let it go and focus on taking care of things? And that is an incredible gift and privilege that the members of Maximum Fun have given me. And it's not like I didn't ever appreciate that we get to do this in this way. Like it's always been incredible to me, you know, that people who don't have to support us do. Um, but I was so, I have been so grateful that this is my job because when I would come in here and I sit down with my friend Jordan of 20 years, it has been such a relief and a joy in my life. And to know that that is my job and it is sustaining me even when everything else is just so profoundly fucked in the world and in my life you know, like kept me putting one foot in front of the other when things were really tough. I'd like, look forward to getting to do this and then think about how grateful I was that it was my job. So I want to thank everybody for making that possible.

It is, is so amazing. It has been so amazing for me. So, yeah, I think what you're, what you're, what you're doing when you go to maximumfund.org slash join and, and, and throw a couple bucks to the shows you like, I think you're, you're, what you're doing is you're just saying to them, Hey, thank, you know, I like this and I appreciate that you show up and do it. And, and it, and it really, it really means the world. If this was, you know, If this was something that we certainly have fun doing and we certainly like doing it. But, you know, when things go to shit, you try and take stuff off your plate. And it's really, really nice that we don't have to take this off our plate. It's really, really nice that people are supporting this and making sure it's not going into the red and that, you know, everybody involved is getting a little bit of money to show up. It really, really makes a huge difference. And, you know, I certainly have also had some challenges these past couple of years. And it's really, really nice to know that we can do this. We can goof around.

We can have this dumb, dumb show where we laugh a lot. And hopefully you also laugh a lot when you're listening to it. And yeah, it's not something we have to take a hiatus from or say goodbye to or cancel because it's a weird suck on our income so yeah so thank you for going to maximumfund.org join it really it really really helps uh helps us be able to do the show every week you guys have been in uh a a comfort to me in tough times especially in the last couple of years as a as a weekly listener to your show but i also just want to say like you guys are have been there for me in my earbuds in really wonderful times in my life too like the like a happier time can be made even happier by just listening to your show and a happier time

could be prolonged even by listening to your show. Sort of like thinking about baseball. Is that what you're talking about? You guys can, you know, like we may put on some mood music, but I have the earbuds in and I'm getting stamina out of your show. And I appreciate it for both things. And you guys do a great thing. And I am really proud to be one of your listener supporters. Thanks, man.

Thanks. Yeah, and thanks for... And we're just happy that, you know, every couple times a year you get to tell your wife, honey, light the candles. It's a Steve Agee episode. Draw a bath. Nothing better for me than one of your other guests cancels on you last minute.

Hey, so yes, we love you. Thank you so much for donating. It really does mean the world. But hey, if, listen, if emotional appeals to your better nature don't get you, maybe some fucking free shit will do it. My favorite thing about the MaxFunDrive is letting people know that they can get 350 plus hours of bonus content just by giving as little as five dollars a month. We've recorded some really cool bonus stuff in the past couple of years. Greatest Gen, what have you guys recorded this year for your bonus content? And is there anything from the past that you really hope people check out? Well, so we've we've done a lot of things.

a lot of things we uh this year our our bonus episode is an episode of a pilot project that we did in the in the bonus feed called the santa monica mountains podcast which is our recap podcast of episodes of baywatch okay we sort of give the greatest gen treatment to old episodes of our everybody's favorite uh slow motion running and bathing suits show. I think Ben, between our Burt Reynolds recaps and your Baywatch recaps, we've got, we've got her suit hunks on lock. Oh,

absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. If are you horny for hair? Well, it's, uh, it's been a lot of fun, but we also done like uh you know a whole bunch of star trek

movies and other movies and uh we've we've reviewed a couple of submarine movies adam and i are big submarine movie fans as all should be as any should be yeah ben and ben is on a great jordan jesse go bonus episode with uh where we we had we had Danny Baruela make a list from, uh, listener contributions of every, uh, Jordan, Jesse go cliche. Then we did a show and tried not to do them and failed. Uh, and, uh, Ben and Jordan got really drunk and I got really high on marijuana soda. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, we've done a bunch of a bunch of really weird uh weird format breaking stuff we did a did an entire episode on a on a paddle boat that was out in the middle of a truly disgusting lake we did some very sincere q a episodes where we talked

about our relationship sure so if you want the most fucked up shit of all yeah check out those sincere episodes uh but yeah but also the past the past couple years we've reviewed a pair of burt reynolds uh kind of sort of classics last year we did malone with drea clark from maximum film this year we did white lightning with dan mccoy from the flop house these are very very weird hilarious cool movies and it was like yeah it's such a fun time to get to get to dick around about them i'm hoping jordan that we're gonna hit those goals we're on our way to those goals i desperately want to do a podcast about gator which i haven't seen i desperately want to kick it up a notch and do podcasts about Smokey and the Bandit

and Smokey and the Bandit 2. I've never seen Smokey and the Bandit 2. I'm pumped about it. Yeah, I'm also pumped about this. I hope the listeners come through and go to MaximumFun.org slash join because, yeah, it's really fun to be able to kind of, yeah, break the format

and dick around a little bit. Oh, I did a couple of episodes of a cheese podcast with John Hodgman. Those are donor only. Shooting the breeze. Shooting the breeze. Both you and Hodgman are former cheese mongers. A fact that I brought together and came together in my head one day. So, yeah.

So in addition to that great bonus content content There's also a bunch of cool stuff If you give at higher levels There's the creativity pack Jesse mentioned, dad hats, patches Greatest Gen, what's the Greatest Gen Patch design? So for the Greatest Generation It's a nebula

And it says there's coffee in that Which is a famous Captain Janeway line When they see a nebula That they think they'll be able to get some energy from and she'll be able to replicate more coffee. She says there's coffee in that nebula. Guess what, guys? Not as simple as she thinks it's going to be when they go into that nebula. Turns out to be a whole Star Trek adventure inside that nebula. Some fucked up shit in the nebula yeah holy mackerel um guys this is the last time we're gonna ask you to do

this for a year so we're gonna do it straight up uh if you got five bucks a month go to maximum fun.org join we'd be proud uh to have you as members of Maximum Fun. We are proud of all of you who are already members of Maximum Fun. It is an incredible honor to work for you. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We are offering free shit at MaximumFun.org slash join. So between those things, I think we can go have our closer coffee because how could anyone resist maximumfund.org join it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorn america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective ben harrison should have had something chambered adam pranica ben harrison guys uh quick quick burbank update

before we wrap up the show uh the los angeles sock market oh nice that's fun yeah like a sock store yeah it's like a store that only sells socks love it uh before we go adam you were saying during a break that you had a joke that you didn't feel like was appropriate for the show. I thought it was very funny. I know. Listen, I know that this is not the most elegant way to set something up. You guys are such purveyors of highbrow humor. Like, I don't want to bring my trash joke into your show.

No. Listen, this ain't no daily show. This ain't no last week tonight. Dark delicacies, Burbank, California. Adam, do you want to do the... Oh, yeah. Okay. So you remember that call about the Zamboni?

Rings a bell. So if Oscar Mayer had a Zamboni and not a Wienermobile, would it be called Riding the Bologna Zamboni? Yeah. It would. mobile, would it be called riding the baloney Zamboni? Yeah, it would. Great job. Come on. I loved it.

I loved it. We were right to go back. Yeah. Yeah. It felt better the second time. Yeah. It's a little alliterative. It's,

it's a little tongue twisty. So that's top five funniest things that's ever been said on the show. And listen, the show's not good. So damning with fate praise. But still, that makes me feel so good. Ben's never that kind about my humor on The Greatest Generation. That would have been the title of one of our episodes.

Come on, Ben. Support this man. I support him. I started I've started so many fucking podcasts with this guy. Come on. I support him. I've started so many fucking podcasts with this guy. Come on.

Keep starting new podcasts. Guys, do you think we should do our live show from Odds and Ends in Burbank, California? What do they sell? It's some kind of nerdy antique store. I mean, that seems like it would be- I don't know. It doesn't sound on brand. Yeah know right well why would the aesthetic of maximum fun or jesse thorne specifically i've got good news about this place well first of all i'm artsy you know that ben tiger the owner is very nice and informative person he's open to answering any questions you have regarding an item i definitely would be back to explore more of the store tiger made the experience so let's let's get on the phone

with odds and ends let's get on the phone with geeky teas let's get on the phone with dark delicacies and just see if any of these places have have a space a performance space somewhere we could set up some mics and chairs because they all occupy the same strip mall that would be so convenient or less outdoor block party show you were talking about now we're talking i honestly could be a crawl or something i think all we really got to do is pick up the phone call bearded lady antiques they'll clear out a few of these taxidermied skulls or whatever uh put up a little one of those little like bar mitzvah stages and we'll burn down the house we'll just destroy if you guys if you guys do that show can adam and i get on the guest list

with a plus one each yeah you can each bring your skeletons. I bring mine everywhere I go because it lives in my mouth. You have a skeleton in your mouth? The skeleton lives in the mouth. Oh, I see. Oh, the skeleton lives in the mouth. Hey. Skeleton lives in the mouth. Did. Skeleton lives in the mouth.

Did you go to summer camp, Jesse? What is this show? Maximumfun.org slash join? There's another goth antique store in Burbank called Memento Mori. Burbank has to be the goth antique capital. This is the most sunniest. But that's like a Jewish goth store, right? Memento Mori.

Yeah, it is. I believe so. Memento Mori. And Mori's capes never come off, even in water. Okay. Look, if you're still here, like if you're sincerely still listening to this show, I can only presume that you're already a member of Maximum Fun. If you're not, I mean, I think you know what to do. Like, it's really, you're going to be paying for the last eight minutes of rambling on every Jordan Jesse go by going to MaximumFun.org slash join right now to become a member of Maximum Fun. We thank you.

fun.org slash join right now to become a member of maximum fun. We thank you. Our producer, Brian, Sonny D Fernandez, our theme music, love you by the free design, courtesy of the free design light in the attic records. And recently a Zillow commercial.

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Come on. Follow me. Oh, the skeleton lives in my mouth. Hey. The skeleton lives in my mouth. The skeleton lives in my mouth. Celebrities Closet Store. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica.

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