Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 738: Potassium Posse with Joe Randazzo

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

Joe Randazzo (The Dr. "Sex" Reese Show)  joins Jordan and Jesse to talk about the massive haul of bananas Jesse saw a lady buying at Costco, the solo camping trips Joe has been taking, and Jordan tests everyone's literature knowledge with a multiple choice quiz. Plus, Jordan and Jesse try to guess which VHS tapes Jesse has at his cabin.Thank you so much to all who helped support the show during the MaxFunDrive! We really could not (and would not) do the show without your support!   Check out Joe's podcast -- The Dr. "Sex" Reese Show!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, the Costco Observer. Ooh, Jesse. I almost said Jesse Thorne, look at me. I should know, I should know what my own name is. Hey Jordan, Jordan Morris, boy detective. Hey Jordan, maybe you should know what your own name is hey jordan jordan jordan moore's boy detective hey jordan maybe you should know what your own name is dude yeah i'm trying to know what my own name is but

look get your act together buddy but i'm busy i'm busy jordan you got a college degree did they not teach you what your own name is no they didn't oh well that's the problem they just taught me what a diaspora is and then i forgot what that was too oh man nine hundred thousand dollars down the fucking toilet wow i think you right in the commode i think you overpaid for college jordan insult to injury now you boy boy well i went to costco yeah how'd that go it great. I mean, I absolutely love going to Costco. It's pretty much at this point the only pleasure in my life. Uh-huh. I go to Costco.

But what a pleasure. It is. It is. I genuinely, with all my heart, love going to Costco. I go to Costco maybe quarterly, split a membership with my mom. go to costco maybe quarterly split a membership with my mom i go to costco and i try and focus in on spending six hundred dollars or more uh-huh like it's a quarterly trip so i buy one of everything i need in my house and then just a flat screen tv on the way out if you haven't met your goal just a little something you know maybe a like a what are the big what what are the

what are the what are you adding what are you adding to make that 600 prime beef prime beef buy some prime beef and then i wrap it up and put it in my freezer gotta wrap it in saran wrap first because that gets close contact and then you wrap that in aluminum foil because uh that seals saran wrap doesn't seal so your your meat will desiccate if you only wrap it in saran wrap i don't want that then of course label it so that's one big one and then i will buy uh wine and liquor for my wife does she mixing wine and liquor yeah it's called mixed drinks oh okay that's called mixed drinks i guess you haven't been out to any classy places can't afford it i haven't i can afford it. I'm paying off these college loans. Sure.

I can understand that. I've still got $800,000 more dollars left. And then I guess probably just like 14 things of laundry detergent. You know, those big... Because I buy the Kirkland brand. I'm not springing for the... You know what I mean? The tide.

You're Kirkland, man. I'll buy produce at Costco. How's the produce? Yeah, pretty good, to be honest. If you're buying like those, you know how I feel about like an Adewolfo mango. Mm-hmm. How are they?

They're great. They're tremendous. These things are great. You can buy a big thing of strawberries that people have suffered terribly to provide for you you can really taste the suffering um and bananas i'll buy i'll buy two sometimes even three of these you know it costs maybe a dollar 49 or something for a bunch of bananas i can't remember how would it cost it cost i mean this is I mean, this is the big difference between the family demand and the lone man's shopping trip.

When you said two or three, I thought you were going to say total bananas. So here's the thing. That's me. I'm like, if I'm going banana wild this week, I'll get three. Let's say you're going bananas. No, banana wild. Mindfulness. Not called going bananas. It's say you're going bananas. Mm-hmm. No, banana wild. Mindful. Not called going bananas.

It's called going banana wild. So what did you, okay, so what did you observe at Costco if I'm reading it to you? Well, I think of myself as going banana wild because I will buy two and sometimes even three bunches of bananas. I try and mix up the amount of ripeness so that they'll ripen over the course of 10 days, two weeks, and then... You don't want to waste banana money. My kids love bananas, so, you know.

Yeah. Would you say they're banana wild for them? No, I'd probably say they're bananas. So I was in the produce area, and I saw an older woman 60 65 thin small just trying to give you a picture

not tiny but small pushing one of those giant that's a fun age that's a fun size pushing one of those giant Costco carts you know inside the Costco cart I happened to look, were only bananas.

Wow. Now, I know what you're thinking, Jordan. When you say there were only bananas, you mean that she had just begun shopping and there was one thing of bananas, one banana unit. She was headed for the checkout, Jordan. Wow. Do you think this could have been an ape in disguise? Jordan, she had 12 bunches of bananas.

Some sort of secret ape? I had to walk beside her to count the bunches of bananas surreptitiously. There were 12 bunches of bananas and no other items in the cart. Just 12 bunches of bananas surreptitiously there were 12 bunches of bananas and no other items in the cart just 12 bunches of bananas as a costco as a costco shopper what are you dropping on that what's that what's that costing you i mean twenty dollars yeah it is incredible banana value i'm there would never dispute the banana value at costco in a million years this is a special no one's asking you to i had the same thought as you jordan i thought is this a gorilla in a people suit the first thought i had and if that's true if this is a smaller, older woman. A gorilla wouldn't fit in this old woman suit. You know what I mean? Gorillas are pretty big.

Yeah. She's married. Her husband is a gorilla. Oh. So she's bringing them home to her husband because he, she probably just eats lean cuisines, you know? Mm-hmm. He's the one that, yeah. He's the one that eats all the bananas. That's what, I was like, oh, oh, I slapped my head. Of course. Yeah. That makes sense.

It's not a gorilla. Do you think he's a standard gorilla or do you think he's a King Kong? I mean, only 12 bunches of bananas. I'm going to say a standard gorilla, but you know, she's older, so I might be a silverback. You know what I mean? I think probably either way at no sign language. Sure. I mean, how else are you going to tell your wife how many bananas to get at Costco?

End of the day, how are you going to say I do if you don't have sign language and you're a gorilla that's marrying a smaller woman? Well, then it's a common law marriage. Is that? It goes back to the Magna Carta. Is that correct? Yeah. I did learn about that in college. I did learn about the Magna Carta uh uh you know deal about i don't know the whole part of the magnet yeah there you go if a little old lady marries a gorilla that's part of the magnet that and the whole thing about the divine right of kings fucking 900 000 bucks right in the commode almost a million dollars where'd you go to

a gold-plated college yes i thought it would be better because of the gold plating but really it just causes the sun to reflect off it and burn us to some extent it improves the conductivity right so that's good wait a minute j, did you go to college at Monster Cable, the high-end audio cable company? I did, yeah. Go fightin' cables. Our guest on the program is the host of the Dr. Sex Reese show. He's an acclaimed comedy writer. He's an acclaimed comedy writer. When I met this man, he was running a little outfit called The Onion. Since then, he went on to run a little outfit called At Midnight.

This guy's a talented guy, Joe Rentazzo. Hi, Joe. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. What do you think? Gorilla in a person suit or woman married to a gorilla? I mean, first thing I thought was potassium posse. She's in the potassium posse.

Oh, right. Right. PP. So a gang? Yeah. She wasn't wearing her club vest. Well, she's keeping it. I mean, the pussy posse, they don't wear like a special vest.

They're just. That's true. Well, sometimes they wear a special vest. I bet keeping it. I mean, the Pussy Posse, they don't wear a special vest. They're just- That's true. Well, sometimes they wear a special vest. I bet they do. I've seen Leo wear a vest. She might be a comedy person. She might be working on her act. Right.

Oh. She's a vaudevillian. Yeah, sure. The age is right. You have to make two stops if you want rubber chickens. Yeah. So on the way home. She was on her way to Marie Callender's for cream pies. You can get rubber chickens at Costco.

They're between the barbecues and the... Thanks, Joe. The USB... The oversized novelty USB gloves. Joe, you're a man with a family do you do you shop at costco for uh you know the sake i do but i'm about i'm about like jesse i'm about quarterly but i'm okay i am immediately overwhelmed by um a sense of comfort in there which which i i feel like i should not be because it's it's a it's a place that's full of stimulus. It's a large space with people.

But I like everything seems to kind of make sense in Costco, even though it's chaotic and random the way they've placed things. I trust in them. I trust that they are thinking this through. Everybody there is there for a reason people are polite i like buying pants there i like buying vitamins there i are samples back they have samples yeah they are but i wasn't can you get a 16th of a bagel dog i don't trust these costco motherfuckers going around with no mask on whatever i'm i'm

i'm locking down the old schnoz and schnoz and uh gaper which is what i'm calling yeah the old gaper yeah the food gaper i got my second uh vaccine shot at costco and then i went looking for yeah then i went looking for pants. Sounds like a great value. Yeah, sounds like a great day. I waited 15 minutes to see that there was no reaction and then I went and got some bananas. I think I have a strong emotional connection to Costco

because I grew up, as listeners know, I grew up with two single parents who were in, I didn't live mostly in – well, technically there were times when I lived in poverty. But I didn't ever like want for food. But we were definitely – definitely money was short in my family. And in my dad's house, there was – both of my parents had like a turn towards the middle class.

My mom went to graduate school. We were super, super, super, super broke for a long time. And then she finally got a full-time teaching job and it was like, oh, we have health insurance. We're in the middle class. This is great. My dad, his turn to the middle class was after many, many years when I was like 13, 14, 15, somewhere in there, he got his disability certified, his PTSD disability. And that came with, it was 100%. So it came with a, you know, I don't remember,

$35,000 a year. And he was working part-time doing consulting. So all of a sudden our income went from $15,000 a year to $50,000 a year or something. And one of the things that happened was he joined Costco and he would be so excited to go to the Costco and buy whatever pretzels. It sounds like,

it sounds like it's linked to fatherhood. Yeah. I think Costco is their slogan is a place for dads. TM. Yeah. The TM is for transcendental meditation, by the way. It's Costco is Yeah. The TM is for Transcendental Meditation, by the way. Costco's owned by David Lynch. Joe, do you need a minute?

Oh. We lost Joe. Oh, Joe's going to get something important. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Joe has a Costco sweatshirt. I had to run out. I forgot I was wearing this today.

I wore it to the park. I wear it. I mean, the viewers can't was wearing this today. I wore it to the park. I wear it. I mean, the viewers can't. The viewers can see it. The listeners can't. This is a hooded sweatshirt that says Costco wholesale on the front. Now, I saw. Guys, I'll be back in a second.

You've got your curtain. I think Jesse has the Kirkland signature. I saw at the playground a woman wearing a Kirkland sweatshirt, and I asked her where she got it, and she didn't want to tell me. So I ordered that for my girlfriend who is a Costco Platinum member. But they accidentally sent me this one. And I wrote to them and I said

I need that Kirkland. It's black. It's way iller. And so they said, you know what? Keep the Costco one. We'll send you the Kirkland one too. So now we both have. I get complimented more genuine heartfelt compliments on my Costco sweatshirt than any other

article of clothing. What is platinum? There it is. There's the Kirkland. Oh yeah. Solid gray. Working man. It's a great sweatshirt. Working man sweatshirt. Thinking about getting the pants. Maybe the t-shirt. Joe, what does platinum membership get you

i don't know she maybe she's gold maybe she's platinum i don't know she's she's what she's a higher tier than me she's a higher tier than me i'm she gets a quarter of a bagel dog at the sample at the sample cart uh no i don't know i think she can you can get you can still get abortions there. I think she does all of her stuff there. Family planning. That's $5 a pop. While it's still available, I want to go. Joe, we worked together for years, one of the happiest times of my life. Those were the days.

And I feel like I got to know you pretty well. And since we stopped working together, we haven't kept in touch as much and but you know we still we're still like on a text chain and i still see you from time to time at social events and i am under the impression that you have taken a turn to being way more outdoorsy than you normally were like maybe you're you're you're in a time now of like peak outdoor exploration. Is that a wrong assumption or have you become a more outdoorsy person? I've always been an outdoorsy person. Okay. But I have more time now because I'm a single parent but only half the time.

When you knew me, I was married and and was fully i had no free time for myself whatsoever strangely now that i split custody with my ex i have more time to do these these kinds of things and my kids are now getting older and they can go along on on these outdoorsy things with me too what's an example what kind of activities are you getting up to hunting fishing no not so much hunting and fishing uh i i don't know i do i do hiking i do some backpacking i try to go on like a solo camping trip once or twice a year i was gonna do one this this weekend as jordan knows but life got in the way i was gonna go to sierras what do you do on a solo camp well um jesse's making the jack off it's just um for those

listening i i don't know it's just it's just a chance to really be alone and not have to talk to anybody or or think about anything but where you are it's physically challenging so you have like uh you know there's there's real obstacles to overcome that don't have anything to do with you know email or emotion sure or you know interpersonal emotions yeah sure uh just got to get out over that rock get over fucking rock. Got to escape that coyote. Yeah, get away from the coyote. How many days are you going out, Joe? Oh, just like two, two or three. One or two nights is all I'm really doing solo. I used to do more adventurous stuff when I was in my 20s.

What do you bring with you, can of beans? Yeah. No, I mean, one thing I will say is that camping equipment has really, as most things that people geek out about, has gotten much more sophisticated than it used to be. What's your prized camping gadget? The little portable stove is pretty cool. It's very, very very small very portable and surprisingly effective um the the thing i get the the most fun out of though is just that water reservoir that like camelback thing with the tube you know that you just put right in your mouth i just love

chomping on that and sucking that water out. Oof. Gotcha. For a while we... I don't... Sorry, go ahead, Jesse. For a while my family was committed as a family to the type of water bottle where you flip up a little nipple and you munch down on there and give it a suck. Yeah.

Yep. I got addicted to putting the tip of my tongue into the little hole. Oh, yeah. You can hang it. As it opened up and then it closes gently on the... I got addicted to putting the tip of my tongue into the little hole as it opened up, and then it closes gently on the tip. I got addicted to that feeling. It felt incredible, and I really did stay hydrated thanks to this thing.

This thing leaks. Oh, yeah. This thing's leaking all over everywhere, this garbage. I had to go back to Nalgene's. You know what I would like to suggest to Nalgene? I'm sorry to keep cutting you off, Jordan. Hey, guys. Nalgene does listen.

How about you? They are a regular listener of the podcast. Yeah, Nalgene's a listener. They just blast us in the corporate office. That's why so many of their employees commit suicide. You guys really know a lot about Nalgene. I'm surprised. This is my kind of cast yeah about the folks over at nalge just give me a twist off with like a little adjustable mouth

like chain give me some adjustable mouth sizes that's all that big that big mouth size not always the most suitable when you're on the go. You know what I mean? How would it adjust? Like a camera shutter or like an airlock in a spaceship? Just give me some options. The problem is that ring on there. You know, getting that ring off is no treat. But if you can give me some different caps that have... Just get an insert.

Yeah, I guess that's what I'm talking about. Do you have one? Are those available? There's inserts for Nalgis. Nalgis, you're the one that knows everything about camping. Go to the camping place. Say, can I get an insert for my Nalgis? Well, I told you I don't use Nalgis when I'm camping. I use my

Camelback. Camelback, Camelback, Camelback. I want my Camelback. Do you ever do any... Joe, drink some water outside. Camelback back. Joe, do you ever do any foraging or other food gathering while you're there? Or are you packing it all with you? I'm packing it with me.

I don't do any foraging. I mean, I think that stuff is really cool. I would like to learn about that my uh middle kid goes to like these adventure camps where they learn that kind of stuff i've gone out with him a couple times where they learn like what things you can eat what things will itch did you eat anything yeah i ate some stuff i ate this incredible thing called a, oh my gosh, what was it called? It looked like it was when we were on the seashore and we picked this plant. It looked like a little green shoe with these crystalline drops on it. And it's called like a crystalline cowlick or something like that. And you can eat the whole thing.

And the plant itself is mild and crunchy, but those crystalline drops are salty. And it's like eating a salty snack by the sea. That's incredible. I got to figure out the name of it and I'll text you guys. I'll email it to you guys later in a couple of weeks. You know what I've heard? You can eat fish right out of the ocean. You gotta be careful.

Really? You gotta be quick. My understanding is they're very slippery. You gotta be quick. You gotta be careful. If you're gonna eat fish out of the sea, listen to me. Listen to me.

Joe, can we talk to Joe Randazzo, the blues man? Only for educational purposes. Or is this more of a jazz guy? Is this more of a Moe's Allison type figure? This is like a schoolhouse rock type of guy. That guy. Kind of that guy. I do it for educational purposes, and whenever there's some kind of sizzling, zesty appetizer.

Was outdoorsiness, did that come from your family and upbringing, or is that something you developed as an adult? No, I had to do that despite my family as a kid really well because i grew up in new hampshire but my my family my parents are from brooklyn so they didn't know anything outdoor they didn't care about the outdoors my dad took so this was kind of your rebellion yeah what about stickball well sure i mean everybody does stick yeah come on trolley dodging play playing come on playing in an open fire hydrant played an open fire hydrant casual stabbings uh stealing apples from the fruit man mr demarco yeah he did all this being a dick about what kind of pizza is the best pizza yeah racism all of it got it in in 1950s brooklyn we're talking about

right that makes sense yeah so i did i did that as um not as rebellion really but like just because i lived in new hampshire and there's yeah i was always when you wanted to like forge your own identity yeah i was tired of playing stickball and rooting for the Brooklyn Dodgers, which hadn't even been in Brooklyn since 1957 or 9 or something like that. You took your hoop and your stick and tossed them away, traded them for a tall backpack. That's what I know about being outdoors. Backpacks are tall.

Yeah, some of them are tall. That's all i have so you got to put a lot of stuff in there yeah well you got this tiny stove you got jesse would your would your kids like some sort of outdoor vacation like could you do family camping family you know family that sort of thing i wonder about it uh my dad had one friend who liked nature and we went camping with him once but that was my only childhood exposure to camping my dad liked motel six um so i don't know if i have the skills to transfer to my children, but my brother and sister-in-law are from Marin County in Northern California, very outdoorsy place, extremely

outdoorsy place. And my brother-in-law was a climbing ranger at Yosemite. So his job was to climb up and down the mountains in Yosemite, making sure everyone was following, like with a gun, making sure everyone was following the rules so he didn't have to shoot them off the side of the mountain, you know? Yeah. And they love, they'll go out backpacking for, as a family, for 10 days a week. I don't even know. Yeah. My brother also, the same thing. he'll go solo backpacking for like 10 days you know it's mostly when he's hypomanic but not exclusively sometimes he does it when he's you know in a good spot right and like i don't know like i like i got this cabin, right?

And the cabin's in nature. Yeah. That's like kind of the midpoint between a hotel and camping, right? To me, the cabin, to my wife, the cabin is a gateway to the natural world. To me, it's a great place to watch videos. Right. Like a dream place, because it's not a bunch of bullshit going on. You can really focus on your fucking...

On the video. Yeah. Your VHS tape of Big Night. That's what you got there. It's a cabin with a VCR. Yeah, we got a VCR. I love that. TV-VCR combo?

TV-VCR combo and a gorgeous, gorgeous selection of VHS tapes. I mean, Jordanordan jesse go listeners know about my vhs tapes can i guess some of what's in there can i just guess oh absolutely please do beetlejuice yes okay let's let's do okay let's guess until we get one wrong all right so i don't want to go every time now but no we'll alternate i want to be clear before we start so people don't think i'm rich you know and resent me I want to be clear before we start. So people don't think I'm rich, you know, and resent me.

I want to be clear that I go down to the, out of the closet where the videos are six for a dollar. Is there a, but I don't buy it. Is there a place where they're jacking up the prices on VHS? I thought you were saying, because you have a cabin, people would think you're rich,

but you're saying it's because you have VHS tapes that people would think. He's a very populist people's VHS collection. People think I have a lot of VHS tapes. That's why they think I'm rich. Okay, so Beetlejuice, yes. Yeah. Field of

Dreams. Absolutely. In fact, I watched it there. I watched it there not long ago. I'm going to put it in 24 months ago. I watched it there. Yeah. I watched it there not long ago. I'm going to put it in. 24 months ago, I watched Field of Dreams there, and I really liked it. I thought I was going to think it was too corny now that I'm a man. No.

Great. And I was totally impressed at how well it held up, even with the boomer bullshit. Even the boomer bullshit was fine. Really liked it. Kevin Costner was great. Costner was great. One of our finest actors. It's not clear why just building one baseball field would bankrupt an entire farm.

Baseball fields are not that big compared to farms. But that's fine. Leaving that aside, great movie. Joe, your turn top gun absolutely of course have top gun joe yeah look at this what do you think i'm a fucking idiot you think i have a cabin without top gun in it this is the most i mean if we keep if we keep if we keep getting these right this is gonna be a four hour episode episode. We can write out the whole show. The show's never going to end. Well, in just a minute, once we finish this segment, we're going to go directly into Jesse's Bible update segment.

So you each get one more guess, and then we'll get into the Bible update. I'm going to guess Three Amigos. Yeah, we got Three Amigos. Yeah. Wow. I thought that was- Randy Newman co-wrote that movie, Jordan. 3 Amigos. Yeah, we got 3 Amigos. Yeah. Wow. Come on. Randy Newman co-wrote that movie, Jordan. He's got a screenwriting credit on it.

Why are you yelling at me? I guessed it. I was right. I know what the qualities of 3 Amigos are. All right. So these are VHSs that you have collected. These are not inherited from a family. These are your personal. No.

There was a couple. There was a very weird like six videos, like a World War II video. What's Eating Gilbert Grape was one of them. Yeah. What's the – when we were children, Jordan, there was a children's ninja movie that maybe had Pat Morita in it. Three ninjas. Yeah, three ninjas. There's three ninjas, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, a World War II movie, and one or two more.

But that was it. That was the end of the inherited VHS tapes. All right. So this is my last guess. This one's for all the marbles, Joe. Joe, you got another guess? See, in my mind, this is not going to bebles Joe in my mind this is not gonna but in my mind I'm seeing three men and a baby

but I'm gonna say Groundhog Day you know what Joe you just saved yourself from disaster because I do not have three men and a baby but I absolutely have Groundhog Day great love that you showed your work too yeah I think three men and a baby is one of those movies that

came out a little bit early for the era of uh lots of movies being on vhs it was on vhs but it was during the era when uh videotapes were not for home consumers so much well so they still cost 50 bucks i asked if you purchased these yourself or if they were inherited because I have been to several homes over the course of my life who have a three-man baby. Congratulations, Joe, first of all. Thank you. Invited. You're a vampire, right?

But knowing that you purchased these all yourself, there's no reason to purchase three men and a baby. You might have inherited it, but there's no way, whereas Groundhog and a baby if you you might have inherited it but there's no way whereas groundhog day you kind of have to have yeah i watched three men and a baby a few years ago and it's it's a bit of almost unwatchable yeah there's no jokes in it you're like why did i like this and you're like oh right i was eight there's just like watching something the filmmaking in the 1980s there was a lot of really just poor filmmaking, like bad editing and badly written. A lot of it was coming from Spock from Star Trek. He was his fault, the three men and a baby.

That's right. Too logical. He directed that movie. Well, I feel really good about how that went. This is fun, yeah. That was- You guys ready? Yeah, you got a Bible update for us?

You guys ready for Jesse's Bible update? Yeah. So a lot of folks, just so you know, Joe, I used to work at a church, St. Gregory of Nyssa in San Francisco. I'm a bit of a Bible expert. I haven't read the Bible, but sometimes people will tweet at me a good Bible verse for my Bible update. Right. a good Bible verse for my Bible update. Right.

I want to be clear that I like the Bible. I think it's good. Yep. Used to work at a church. I liked it. I liked working at a church. I'm an atheist myself, but I liked it. Be a pro Bible.

This is Kings 2, 23, and 24 from the NIV. That's the new international version, Joe. This verse is called Elisha is jeered. One of my favorites. Yeah. From there, Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. Get out of here, Baldy! They said. Get out of here, Baldy! He turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them

in the name of the Lord. Then, two bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the boys. That's the end. Beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful.

Well, that's why I didn't recognize it. I always heard it as the parable of the two bears. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. That's interesting. It's so funny because I've heard this verse. Everybody reads it at a wedding.

It's kind of even cliche at this point at the wedding speech. Somebody's got to read this thing. But, I mean, obviously there's like different translations of the Bible. And in the one that we had in my home, our family Bible, they didn't call him Baldy. They called him a turd burglar. You have the totally radical youth Bible. I had the totally radical youth bible i had the totally radical youth bible see the way my my parents from brooklyn always told it was that they yelled at him

you bum you get out of here you bum so that get out of the road in king james they say go up thou bald head go up thou bald head boy fucking these. Well, I'm glad they were all mauled by those bears. 42, only 42 though. Two she bears out of the woods. How many guys are there total in this scenario? There's only a lot of guys yelling at Elijah.

Do you think some of the guys got away from the bear? Or do you think the bears, bears, two bears, two she bears in the King James version, do you think the bears, two bears, two she-bears in the King James Version, do you think they tear 40 and two children of them because there were only a total of 42? Or do you think they kind of cut a swath through a larger group? I think just like eventually when you're mauling, you get a little sleepy. Especially if you're a bear. Do you think this was in autumn? Is that what you're suggestinguling, you get a little sleepy. Yeah. Especially if you're a bear. Do you think this was in autumn?

Is that what you're suggesting? I think so. This is right before hibernation. They mauled 42 and then put on their sleeping caps right into their cave. The little ball on the end, the little poofy ball on the end of the sleeping cap. Jesse, that's exactly the kind of cap I'm talking about. You are fucking, yes, that is exactly the kind of cap I'm talking about. You are fucking, yes, that is exactly the kind of cap I'm talking about. They went ahead and lit their tapers, their candles on those little stands with a little ring on it.

You know what I'm talking about? And they headed off to that cave for a snooze-a-roonie. See you in the spring, assholes. It's so funny that you prepared, in addition of your classic segment, Jesse's so funny that you, um, you prepared an, an edition of, uh, your classic segment, Jesse's Bible update. Um, I actually, I have another segment in this content filled show. Wow. This is weird.

Yeah. What's wrong with this episode? Do we have things to talk about? Sure. Um, Joe, have you ever taken a multiple choice quiz uh what are my options for how to answer that question jordan okay you clearly you clearly have you talked the talk joe's got one of those million dollar college educations um so the multiple choice quiz funnily enough was actually invented by us we did it for the first time on this show it was a big hit people started taking multiple choice quiz, funnily enough, was actually invented by us. We did it for the first time on this show.

It was a big hit. People started taking multiple choice quizzes all across the country at parties, at bar hangs. That was about 18 months ago. Is that right? 18 months ago. Yeah. So it's been a, it's been a wild ride for us.

It's been a wild ride for the multiple choice quiz. Um. The only problem, Joe, is that we forgot to write it down and mail it to ourself so we do not have copyright it's not yeah but the real ones know yeah real ones know we could have got copyright we're in the guild well jordan's in the guild um but i'm sad you know like obviously obviously it's evolved a lot like it's a you know like like the bible it's a living right and it's always growing always changing yeah definitely say that about the bible yeah very malleable you don't have to do exactly what it says people are always saying that yeah

bible um but and you know what i've been kind of thinking about where it's gone, and it's been wild. And I wanted to do one, and I wanted to take us back to our roots. Like a famous rock musician goes back and plays their home club. I wanted to take us back to our roots. And Joe, I don't know if you heard the first multiple choice quiz on Jordan Jesse Go but it concerned the writing quirks of Stephen King

it was a multiple choice quiz about an old man character in a Stephen King story and obviously that kickstarted a revolution blah blah blah but we've evolved since then but i wanted to bring it back something for the ogs so this is another writing quirk about this is another quiz about a stephen king writing quirk this is a multiple choice quiz in the novel salem Lot, which of these is a synonym that Stephen King uses for breasts?

Okay, so in the novel Salem's Lot, there are... Is this in a romantic context, or...? I think that would be giving too much away, so I think I've given you enough clues. I think you can guess this. Joe, you I think I've given you enough clues. I think you can guess this. Joe, you're the guest. Do you want to go first or second? I'll go first. Okay.

So which of these is a synonym for breasts that Stephen King uses in the novel Salem's Lot? Multiple. One of these is real. The rest is fake. One is real. The rest is fake. Jablinkies.

Golgothas. Nip Zeppelins. Sugar Blimps. Land Shamus. Hardy Honkers. Mon Mothmas. Knee and Numbs. Doikos.

Boshes. Jombies.ahoobies arubas jamaicas kokomos dormammus shumagoraths hoary hosts of hoggath mothers saggy taters truck sacks chest chuds uncle bucks eldon beasts oranstein and smo dingus and the drooper lock and yada flint the dairy annex steamed hams meat clackers flesh swingers milk floppers meat jumbos upper testicles do you want to hear those again joe if you want just so you know how this works um if you need to you can hear them again one of those is real the rest are fake the rest are fake zombies zombies no i'm sorry did you even say Jumbies? I did. That was one of the choices.

Jesse, it's your turn. Okay. So just to remind you what the choices are. Jordan, can you go? Yes. Jordan, would you mind repeating the choices for me, Jordan? I wouldn't mind. One of these is a synonym for breasts.

Can you do the whole? Just make sure you do the whole list because I don't want to miss any. Yeah. One of these is real. The rest are, what are the rest? Jablinkies. Okay. Golgothas.

Uh-huh. Nip Zeppelins. Uh-huh. Sugar Blimps. Sure. Land Shamus. Uh-huh. Hardy Honkers.

Uh-huh. Mon Mothmas. Right. Neon Nums. Okay. Doikos. Uh-huh. Bosch's. Right. Jombies.. Okay. Doikos. Uh-huh. Boshes.

Right. Jombies. Thank you. Jehoobies. Sounds good. Arubas. Nice. Jamaicas.

Love it. Kokomos. Excellent. Dormammus. Of course. Shuma Goraths. Why not? Hori Hosts of Hoggath.

I hear it. Mother's Saggy Taters. Sounds nice. Shrek Sacks. Chest Chuds. Uh-huh. Uncle Bucks. Elden Beasts. Right. Orantine and Smers. Sounds nice. Shrek sacks. Chest chuds. Uncle Bucks. Elden Beasts. Orantine and Smoe.

Tasty. Dingus and the Drooper. Nice. La Cunata Flintridge. Superb. The Darianics. Steamed hams. Meat clackers.

Flesh swingers. Milk floppers. Meat jumbos. Upper testicles. Kind of a hypnotic effect i kind of spaced out there in the middle would you mind repeating them for me jordan because i missed some of them not at all i missed a few of them could you you can do it quickly jablinkies right golgothas zeppelins sugar blimps land shamoos right hardy honkers mon mothmas right knee and numbs doikos boshes

jombies jahoobies arubas jamaicas kokomos dormammus shumagoraths hoary hosts of hoggath mother saggy taters shrek sacks chest chuds uncle bucks elden beasts ornstein and smo dingus and the drooper Locke and Yotta Flintridge The Dairy Addicts Stewed Hams Meat Plackers Flesh Swingers Milk Floppers

Meat Jumbos Upper Testicles Got it I'm going to go with Sugar Blimps, Jordan Sugar Blimps is going to be my guess No, I'm sorry you're wrong God damn it And that's the end of the multiple choice quiz

Thanks for playing, everybody So does Joe get another wrong and that's the end of the multiple choice quiz thanks for playing everybody so just joe does joe get another or do you want it if you want a bonus guest i can read it yeah would you read them one more time i would love to just for the guest joe you get one more guess jablinkies golgothas nip zeppelins sugar bl Blimps, Land Shamus, Hardy Honkers, Mon Mothmas, Neon Nums, Doikos, Boshes, Jombies, Jehoobies, Arubas, Jamaicas, Kokomos, Dormammus, Shumagoraths, Hori Hosts of Hoggath, Mother Saggy Taters, Shrek Sacks, Chest Chuds, Uncle Bucks, Elden Beasts, Ornstein and Smoe, Dingus and the Drooper, La Cunata Flintridge, The Dairy Annex, Steamed Hams, Meat Clackers, Flesh Swingers, Milk Floppers, Meat Jumbos, and Upper Testicles. Now, Joe, if you want, I can give you a quick hint. Sure. So some of those is words from a song.

Some of them is just words from a song. Those are... Some goddamn song. From the... The Beach Boobs. The Beach Boys. I think it's the first one. I think it's Jablinkies.

I think it's number one, Out of the Gate. No, I'm sorry. You're wrong. Is it that Doinkies one or whatever? I'm sorry. The game is over and no one will ever know. The game's over. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.

It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris boy detective. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, if you became a new member, if you upgraded or boosted your member, if you bought a gift membership for somebody, we are so grateful to you. You are our hero. You actually are the reason this show exists. It's not just something we say to get your money. And we're very grateful to you. So thank you very much. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. Love the Max, love the max fun drive. Love it. When, uh, when, when folks step up to say,

uh, I'm going to say like the shows, it feels great. So thank you to everybody who participated. We're also supported this week by the good folks over at Raycon Jordan. Yes. Have you heard this push a T album, this new push a T album?

No, I didn't send it over. Yeah. This thing is, uh, sinks. Great. Any old person like myself would enjoy this push a T album. No, I didn't send it over. Yeah, this thing is, sings great. Any old person like myself would enjoy this Pusha T album.

Sings fucking tremendous. It's still basically just only raps about cocaine. I don't, he's like 50 at this point. Is he still selling cocaine? He wrote ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I'm loving it.

I got a similar recommendation that I think would be a great companion piece to that. Dave Holmes' audiobook. Oh, God. Party of One by Dave Holmes. Both of these are gonna be great

because you are listening to them on your Raycon wireless earbuds. They got those gel tips to stick right into your little ear holes. These things sound gorgeous. They're reasonably priced. You can check out Raycon's wireless earbuds. Go to buyraycon.com slash JJGO today to get 15% off your Raycon order. today to get 15% off your Raycon order.

That's buyraycon.com slash JJGO to score 15% off. Buyraycon.com slash JJGO. We're also supported this week by the good folks at Stitch Fix. I got me a Stitch Fix box this week. Can't wait to go through it. They always send some good stuff. You know how I am imagining you going through it, Jordan? Like a raccoon going through the trash?

Yes. You know how in a shopping montage, they're throwing stuff behind them as they pull stuff out of somewhere? That's how you go through. That's me in my Stitch Fix box. Here's what this box is, Jesse. Here's what this website is. This isn't just any box. It's not just any box. It's not just any website. Whatever your style now more than ever

is the time to rock it. Maybe you can use just a little nudge to find some new looks. That's where Stitch Fix can help you out. Here's what you do. You go online. You go to stitchfix.com slash jjgo. You take a style quiz. Answer a few questions about what you do. You go online. You go to stitchfix.com slash JJ Go. You take a style quiz. Answer a few questions about what you like to wear, what you don't, and how open you are to trying new styles. Stitch Fix will assign you a stylist.

That stylist will go to work finding items exclusively for you. Every piece is handpicked, unique to your size, style, and your budget. It's great they always they always nail it they always send a lot of cool stuff and the fact that it's all in my size the fact that i know what they send is going to fit uh it's just the best shipping returns exchanges all easy and free and i can confirm that i sent something back from my box and all i had there was literally a bag in there ready to go. All I had to do was put it in the bag, seal it up, and drop it off.

It was easy peasy lemon squeezy. Easy peasy. Easy peasy, stitchy fixy. That's what we say. Sign up today at stitchfix.com slash jjgo to get $20 off your first purchase. That's stitchfix.com slash jjgo to get $20 off your first purchase that stitch fix.com slash jj go to get 20 off your first purchase limited time offer purchase within two days of sign up and uh hey jesse while while we're talking about purchasing um if you're in the portland area what do you mean jordan if sorry listening to this show hey

you're in the portland area um i was there a couple weekends ago and was uh i'd stopped by the great comic book store books with pictures and uh signed a bunch of copies for of bubble for them um uh so if you want to sign to copy a bubble and you're in the portland area books with pictures is just like one of the greatest comic book stores i have ever been in in my life it's just the like platonic ideal of the of the greatest comic book stores I have ever been in in my life. It's just the platonic ideal of the modern comic book store you want to go to. Everybody's really nice. You got your grown-up Batman stuff. You got your stuff for kids.

You got your stuff for teens. They got punk rock zines. Just every kind of thing you could want. Jordan, does Al save Mark Grace cards for you because he knows that you like Mark Grace and he calls you Mark Grace? I think that might be the one thing they don't have. Yeah.

They should go to Al's Comics in 1989. It's right there on Guerrero Street. Books with Pictures, it's a really great shop. They got signed copies of Bubble. And hey, if you're not in the Portland area, if you're our one listener not in the Portland area,

if you're near Olympia, Washington. the Portland area, if you're near Olympia, Washington. Or Portland, Maine. Or Portland, Maine. These folks ship anywhere. So yeah, you can call them up, bookswithpictures.com, and get yourself a signed copy of Bubble. They're great. Bubble is so cool and funny.

If you're listening to this show, I'm not playing around. I'm not playing around. I really think you need to go on the internet or give a call to one of these great uh comic and bookstores that carry the book give them a call and order yourself one you deserve it buddy get a bubble you deserve it get a bubble stitchy fixie stitchy fixie reedy bub. We'll be back in just a second. Reedy Bubby. Reedy Bubby.

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Joe Randaz you, love you. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Joe Randazzo, sex man, sex haver, man. Yeah. When you say that you're a sex haver, do you mean that you've had sex,

that you're doing a podcast, a comic podcast about sex, or that you're having sex? I'm having sex right now, yeah. Cool. Hell yeah, yeah baby that's really cool switch from mish to dog wow switch baby yeah that's the best switch since nintendo switch remember when it was hard to get a nintendo switch it was hard yeah you know i remember but hey you can't play luigi's mansion 3 on your sex partner that's a good point am i right you're mostly right right yeah joe would tell me about this podcast this is a new podcast i know jordan appears in it

uh but this is uh who is uh dr sex reese dr robert sex reese is the only regionally syndicated sex therapist radio host who's never had sex. So he gives advices on intimacy. He also hates it. He thinks it's gross. He hates it and thinks it's gross. It's an exhausting character to play, but very very very fun um his co-host is or his producer is megan gailey the great megan gailey um and yeah it's an eight episode uh podcast that we did for iheart radio so it hasn't really had a you know know, it's just a short run.

It's actually something that we started, that I started with some friends back when we worked at The Onion. It was inspired by a coworker who we think had never had sex. We know he had never been drunk or smoked pot. And so every time he had to write something that had to do with sex or alcohol or drugs, it seemed so alien and naive that we just invented this character, roughly vaguely named after

him about somebody who'd never had sex who was forced to give sex advice to people. And then now ten years later we've turned it into a podcast. But it's sort of been this ongoing joke for a long time. It's a really, really funny show. Joe's obviously hilarious. You got a great

lineup of comedy favorites coming in and out as guests. Oh, yeah. Lots of great people. You got your Tim Heideckers. You got your Martha Kellys. You got your Paul F. Tompkins, your Ify Nwadaways, your Maggie Mays, your Blair Sockys, your Jordan Morrises. I mean.

Wow. Wow. That's two of Max Funn's biggest stars jordan and iffy yeah uh it's a yeah it's a great show joe's hilarious it's a it's obviously like uh a hilarious premise so uh yeah dr sex reese uh wherever wherever you get your podcasts yeah jordan was in one of my favorite episodes where um because most of it is semi-script but most of it was improvised uh and jordan was a person who i don't want to give too much away but yeah could only receive sexual gratification while being terrified because he lost his virginity in a classic like almost a stephen

king like it is very it's a very Stephen King-inspired segment. And so he can't climax unless he's being really badly spooked. And it goes in some zany directions. We had a lot of fun.

I mean, this sounds zany to me. It's as zany as it gets, bud. Is it as zany as The Three Amigos? This movie was co-written by Randy Newman. He's got a screenplay credit on this, Joe. You know, Three Amigos, for a movie

that I loved as a kid, I have not seen it, but I must because it has come up about once a week for the past three months in my life. I don't know what is going on. Martin Short, i was a child was too much for me i couldn't handle it emotionally and now that i'm a man i couldn't love it more do that weird whatever that fucking thing is that martin short does strange go to town. I love it.

Yeah. He seems like a treasure now. Let's watch Clifford. I think so. I think Martin Short has entered legend status. It's aged well. His deal has aged well. As a man, to me, Martin Short is twice the genius Steve Martin is. All the best to Steve Martin.

I have nothing against him. I just want to watch martin short sing a song for no reason but but steve martin was the funniest for for a while like and then he just stopped and stopped being funny altogether he quit the business of being funny started playing the banjo and like yeah banjo banjo albums earnest banjo albums uh i watched that uh only murders in the building show and i mean martin short is 10 out of 10 funny in that but i think steve martin is very funny in it as well i think it's he's kind of like more of the straight man but i think it's uh they're both great in it he seemed like he made a conscious decision to become like

a rarefied professor type yeah that only i have not seen only murders in the building my understanding is that that is the show with the the protagonists are steve martin and martin short and they're based on us we shouldn't we should have gotten more for our rights if you would trademark the multiple choice thing like i told you to if you'd written it down i'm sorry imagine how much steve martin and martin short would have given us for our fucking life They'd mark the multiple choice thing like I told you to if you'd written it down, put it in a fucking envelope and mailed it to yourself. I'm sorry. I've got Steve Maloney to pay for that. Imagine how much Steve Martin and Martin Short would have given us for our fucking life rights for their Murders in the Building show.

They play podcasters. They do a podcast in the show. I think that's what you're talking about, Jesse. Joe, let me explain something to you about how Jordan and Jesse Go works. Please. We work hard on this show. We think about different ideas for different segments we do on the show, recurring segments that we've worked really hard on. And then people call in.

That's true. This episode, we actually do. We actually do. Usually Jesse says this because we don't do that. But now we do do that. So anyway. Do do. Figure it out.

Who do I believe? Steve Martin or Martin Short? I mean, I believe it. We're amazing. We're probably better than them. Oh, can I guess one more? Do you have Dances with Wolves on VHS? I don't.

Oh, fuck. I do not. Fuck. Because I didn't want to watch it. Mm. But you had the opportunity. At some point, you grappled with the choice to buy Dances with Wolves.

It was available to me in many occasions, and I looked at it and thought i like this movie when it came out and i was 10 is this a bad movie and i look at the cover i look into it i say yes this is bad and i put it back can i do because joe did one more guess can i do one more guess please close encounters of the third kind yeah have that and it's great what a great movie i hadn't seen that until recently fucking great movie richard dreyfus wandering around in a car so drive joe we got this let's go driving i don't know i don't know joe call it what you will just fill her with gas and start wandering go banana banana wild. We got these segments

and people call into the segments. Here's one of those segments that people call in for. It's definitely, Brian, pause it. Just so you know, Joe, it's definitely not just people calling in with something and then saying that it's a segment. It's segments that we've thought of

because we work so hard. Go ahead, Brian. Hey, this is Luke in Seattle calling with a momentous occasion. Just on the theme of strange storefronts in Burbank, I recently had my very first trip to the hallowed lands of Burbank. I even drove out of my way between destinations just to see with my own eyes the infamous Verdugo Aquatic Center. But while I was walking in Burbank one day, I walked past a storefront that I think was some – I don't even know exactly what the overarching theme was, but they had one window that on one window panel said weapons,

and on the next window panel said yoga. And I just thought that really uh kind of captured the duality of the human experience thanks love the show bye burbank baby god i feel like the burbank board of tourism owes us should cut us a check right i mean this this guy clearly went out of his way he had heard heard about it on the show. He had this beautiful picture in his mind of what Burbank would actually be like were he to go there. And it sounds like he did a little detour. And it sounds like his mind was blown. So, yeah, if you're out there, Burbank Chamber of Commerce, stick a check in the mail.

Do you think they're just spending all their money trying to get Jay Leno back on TV right yeah they're constantly petitioning hey yeah good cordons cordons are tiring let's just stick Jay back in there I think Jay would do it don't you think Jay Leno would take would would take the cordon show he probably would

yeah in one second yeah probably would he's got his own fucking show on the speed network yeah he's like carpool karaoke show on the speed network yeah he's like carpool karaoke i like the part about the cars by the way my jay leno impression is a peter griffin impression my lois look at all my denim i drive a little uh i drive a little jalopy my lois i i really sell the jokes in the monologue and then i kind of space out for the rest of the show okay uh let's let's take one more call hi jordan jesse brian sunny d and i'm gonna say

nicole buyer this is brin calling from indiana for the beloved segment titles of porn i've rented to people that refer to businesses that could be near Jesse's physical therapy office. So I used to work at a local video rental place that rented porn. And there was a guy who would come in maybe every three days and rent a porn called Burbank Sperm Bank. Oh, my God. I worked there for like a year, and he probably came in well over the amount of times that would have purchased the video

and maybe spent like hundreds of dollars just renting Burbank Sperm Bank. So be on the lookout. Burbank Sperm Bank, maybe it lookout. Uh, Burbank sperm bank. Maybe it's near the die cast car store. I don't know. Um, also maybe watch that porn cause it's probably pretty good. If that guy rented it like tens of tens of times.

All right. Love you guys. Bye. Love you too. My wife worked in a video store in, in high school. She still worked at the video store when she and I started dating up there in Marin County.

And they had porns, so she rented people porns all the time. It's like a 16-year-old. It's very weird that you had to go to a store to get your porns from a teen. I have actually seen Burbank Sperm Bank and it's not a porn. It's about a couple grappling with infertility. It's very moving.

Yeah. A couple in where? Locking you out of Flint Ridge. 206-9844-FUN or JJGO at MaximumFun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. fund.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. Thank you so much to everyone who participated in this year's max fund drive. If you're a member who wants to purchase additional patches, our annual shop is now live. The proceeds for this year's sale will be going to trans lifeline. Anytime is a good time to donate to Trans Lifeline, but this year it feels

particularly important. Trans Lifeline is a non-profit for the trans community by the trans community. We're grateful that with your support, we'll be able to help Trans Lifeline connect trans folks to the support and resources they need to survive and thrive. The sale will run until Friday, May 20th. Folks at the $10 monthly level and above will have access to all of the patches from The Drive. We also have a special network patch starring Nutsy that all members can purchase. For more information on Trans Lifeline, visit translifeline.org. And for more information on the patches, head to MaximumFun.org slash patch sale. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

Hey, this is Alden Ford. And Mujan Zofagari. And we are here with all the other creators of Mission to Zix. Hello. You're not going to say our names too? No, no, it's a short promo. I'll sort of speed through it. Now, with the end of our fifth and final season just a few weeks away,

we want to say thank you to Maximum Fun and to every single one of you who's listened to and supported Mission to Zix. Thank you. And if you haven't checked it out,

well, Mission to Zix is an improvised space opera with blockbuster quality sound design, a score performed by an actual 60-piece orchestra, and hilarious guest comedians on every episode. And as our final episodes air, now is the perfect time to jump on board.

That's Mission to Zyx, Z-Y-X-X on Maximum Fun. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Joe Randazzo, America's cousin. Brittany O'Neill, star of Burbank Sperm Bank. Yeah. Headaches, insomnia, anger, stress, right? Nope.

Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. This isn't for the box. this is what it says on the box the like subtitle yeah says headaches and this is the log line that okay headaches insomnia anger stress right oh nope oh slower i'm gonna blast dude oh sounds like jordan going to blast. Joe already blasted earlier when he was having sex.

No, I'm still going. Oh, cool. Oh, yeah. They call you the sting of podcasting. You guys must be really sore. She is wearing a nurse's outfit. I mean, it's not, you know, to give a little context. Yeah, I can't see the burbank

experiment it's it's in the chat i couldn't download it all right she's flapping out her nurse outfit to show her undie pants yeah like she's holding it in one hand and going you know what i mean sure she's only got two buttons done on this thing. The other thing that I'm noticing about this, her makeup is like full-on Louis XIV. Like she truly looks, it is wild, the level of her makeup that she's wearing here. It does seem like, and Jesse, I think your VHS collection kind of portended this, but I do think we are kind of in a in a in a space now where that

like physical media like collecting that physical media is you know it's like it's it's it's novel it's fun i think people are doing it more you know vinyl vinyls coming back um and people are nostalgic for dvds um yeah do you think hard copy porn is next? Is there like boutique limited run hard copy pornos? Is that next? I wonder. So you can touch it. You can

feel it. It's physical. It's an interesting question. I'm looking to see if, God, this is really going to ruin my fucking share a fucking account with my wife on Amazon. God damn it. That's a good idea, buddy. No, it's not available on Amazon.

I'm going to try. You got to have one Amazon account that you share with the wife, and then you got to have one Amazon account that's for the boys, right? You can go on with your boys and shop this thing is a rare dvd you can watch the boys the amazon original you watch the boys and and wheel of time with your boys there's some there's something there is something just dirtier about watching porn on a vhs like when you have to rewind it back to the spot where it was. People would sometimes return used pornography videos that had, that I don't want to be gross,

but they had evidence of use. Right. And it's what the hottest thing about the VHS porn though, the hottest part is when someone taped over it with a copy of Wings. Not in stock. It's hard to find, even here on DirtyMagazines.XXX. It's from 1996, Burbank Sperm Bank. Really?

I think that's what it's in. Good year. Good year for pornos. A lot of fun. You know, 2354, that's not too bad. Used very good. And that's not too bad. Used, very good. And that's on VHS. Somebody bought it originally for $14.99, which seems like a great value.

Yeah, I mean, they flipped it too. That's nice. And you can get Black Friday savings 15% off automatically at DirtyMagazines.xxx. That's my recommendation. Go there. Check that out. Two recommendations. One, head to that website. Two, check out Joe's podcast. Dr. Sex Reese on the iHeartMedia

app or wherever you get your podcasts. Right? Wherever you get them, yeah. Not just... I listen to it on the app. I wanted to support you more. Oh. So I listen to it on the app and found a lot of great stuff there on the iHeartMedia app. Did you like the six minutes of unrelated commercials with wildly fluctuating sound levels before?

Yeah. I honestly thought the Loud McDonald's commercial was part of the show. Yeah. It was my favorite part, actually, was the Loud McDonald's commercial. Oh, man. I also wanted to support you, Joe.

So I went down to iHeart and listened to it there. Oh, you had them play it in the lobby? Yeah. No, no, not in the lobby. I got a little area. Oh, a little listening area. A conference room? I gave them a call.

I went ahead and called our friend Chuck from Stuff You Should Know. He works down there at iHeart. I said, hey, Chucky. I said, give me a little area. I want to listen to Joe's podcast. Dr. Sex Reese Show. It's like going down to Sam Goody and put it on the headphones. Oh, my God.

Goody got it. That a real old memory gets actually accessed. I have not thought about that in a very long time. Remember going down the old Sam Goody? Listening to some of your favorite CDs? People were lined up. You could, yeah, you put on the headphones. Yeah, listening stations.

And listen to it. I didn't really have Sam Goody, but Virgin, Virgin Records and Tower Records. I was in the neighborhood. I was heading over to Streetlight. Yeah, yeah, I have Sam Goody. Guys, thanks for listening to Jordan, Jesse Go. I was in the neighborhood I was heading over to Streetlight yeah yeah sure guys uh thanks for listening to

Jordan Jesse Go where? the warehouse uh 206-984-4FUN or JJGo at MaximumFun.org for your voice memos

our producer Brian Sonny D. Fernandez on the stream is Valerie Moffitt our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic

Records. You can find us on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com You can find us on Twitter at Jordan Morris, Jordan underscore Morris that is, and at Jesse Thorne. You can find us on

Instagram at Jordan is, and at Jesse Thorne. You can find us on Instagram at Jordan, David Morris and at put.this.on. That A with a little circle around it is called an at. That's it. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jesse, go. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.