Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 739: Special Sexual Underpants with Three Busy Debras

Episode Date: May 23, 2022

Sandy Honig, Alyssa Stonoha, and Mitra Jouhari (Three Busy Debras) join Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of novelty t-shirts, how A Nightmare on Elm Street is a trap movie, a new dental dam alternative for safe sex, and of course season two of Three Busy Debras. Watch Three Busy Debras on HBO Max or Adult Swim -- it's hilarious!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, done adulting. Time to Disney. Okay, Jordan, let's get into this right now. No, I don't wanna. I just wanna Disney. Now, Jordan, you're a millennial and yeah i'm a millennial as well we're all about adulting not me i'm done adulting time to disney okay um

when you say disney the verb what is the verb form of disney mean jordan disney parks jesse the parks okay we're talking about the parks california adventure and and the others yes What is the verb form of Disney mean, Jordan? Disney parks, Jesse. The parks. Okay. We're talking about the parks. California Adventure and the others. Yes. The properties. The resort.

Jesse. Okay. Listen. My mom and I and my sister took a joint birthday mother's trip to Disney last week. I've developed a taste for it. Three cool mothers. Just three moms. My mother and then my childless sister and I

all went to Disney and When you say Disney, you're talking about California Adventure. I'm talking about the parks. I'm talking about the parks, Jesse. The resort. Not downtown Disney. That's included within the parks that's also disneying thank you i count that i count going to the sanuk flip-flop store as disney you know can i ask a quick question i don't want to get too far off as long as you don't make me

adult yes yosemite is that included in the parks? No. What about Jellystone? No, fictional. Go ahead. Plus, the last time I was there, someone stole my picnic basket. I am not going back. So you're at Disney's California Adventure, flying over California with the great Patrick Warburton. Soaring over California. And I'm loving this.

I haven't been to Disney in years. We're having a great time. And I just saw this shirt that really said it all. The shirt was, I'm done adulting. Time to Disney. And I'm like, first of all, that's so me. That's the me right there. Right.

So that's the me right there. Right. And it it that opened up my eyes to a genre of shirt that I had not seen was the bootleg. We've used the Disney logo. This is probably illegal, but we've made shirts for Disney adults that are sold primarily on Etsy that say like Disney shit. Kind of like mashed up with sassy Target sign right i'm on etsy right now uh-huh um and i'm immediately imagining mickey mouse slam dunking uh okay so that's that's the i think you're thinking of the bootleg bart simpson t-shirts of our youth okay this is more like buzz light year doing shots and it says i'm buzzed light year i'm sorry i'm buzzed so it's a lot of drinking puns wait are the these are i assumed

in all sincerity i assumed these would say things like uh you know, don't talk to me until I've had my Disney. I totally saw coffee ones. And it has Disney characters drinking coffee. And for some reason, that was shocking to me. Like, it seemed wrong to see. Because they're Mormons. Right, exactly. Caffeine.

Caffeine is sinful. We all know. It's a stimulant. I would hate for Stitch to go to hell. In some parts of the Mormon community. In some parts of the Mormon community. The Church of Latter-day Saints. So I'm shopping on Etsy from all my, these should be illegal Disney clothes.

There's a real sassy pair of panties with the Little Mermaid on it. It says, darling, it's better down where it's wetter. So I think I'll get those. Put them in the cart, Jordan. I'm putting it in the cart. I'm clicking buy now. Oh, wow. I'm not even bothering with the cart, my friend.

Holy cow. And then there is a series of shirts. These are called Disney drinking shirts. Is that a category on Etsy? This is, I guess what it's the seller is the Midnight Comet, and these are called Disney

Drinking Shirts. Disney Drinking Around the World T-shirt, Epcot Food and Wine Top, Disney Wine T-shirt, Disney Team T-shirts. I go on Etsy, Jordan, to buy handmade leather goods and Aladdin with a Heart on T-shirts. I go on Etsy Jordan to buy handmade leather goods and Aladdin with a heart on t-shirts.

So what we have here are wine glasses with Mickey ears, but also some characteristics of various Disney characters. There's a Dory here. It says, just keep drinking. Tinkerbell, it's Drinkerbell. Kind of first thought there, but...

Yeah, go A to C. But the one that kind of bummed me out, I was having fun. Drinkerbell, fun. Yeah. Princess Leia, may the buzz be with you. We can all get behind that. You're kicking back with a buttery shard

and enjoying the puns. We can all get behind that. You're kicking back with a buttery shard and enjoying the puns. Super-califragilistic drinking all-day docious. Okay. You can't even drink at Disneyland, can you? In Olga's Cantina in the Black Spire Outpost, you can if you travel to Batuu. Sure.

I believe you. Yeah. Look, what is a podcast if not saying words talking about black spire outpost bright sons to you jesse bright sons and to you um may you fly over california with a guy who does a voice on family guy um but the one that bummed me out it's a wine glass it has winnie the pooh coloring the slogan is oh bother i'm drunk again it implies like it implies that he knows he's aware that this is ruining his life. Oh, bother. I'm drunk again.

Again is such a weird modifier. Piglet's there. No, Piglet's not there. No, I think in this scenario, this poo wine glass is alone. Oh, there's a bee there. I don't know if that bee is a Winnie the Pooh character. Do you think the bee is an enabler or is it possible? Hear me out, Jordan.

Okay. What if the bee is his sponsor? Yeah. What if the bee heard- I'm feeling tempted again b heard that poo is slipping and he's there like buzz buzz one day at a time right yeah um i hope so i hope i hope that poo poo is getting the help he needs because clearly this is a pattern that he it's a pat i mean it implies that sentence is just that's i mean this is the disney shirt version of baby shoes for sale never worn it's

just like it's such a fucking poem and i yeah and i hope poo is getting the help he needs acknowledging that there's a higher power christopher robin he's insisting he's not an alcoholic he's a little black rain cloud. Right. That's how he's trying to trick his sponsor. His sponsor is a bee. I don't know. It's pretty rough. Anyways, pray for poo, everyone out there. If you're out there, pray for poo.

We have some wonderful guests on the program this week. Oh, my gosh. These three are the creators and stars of one of the funniest shows on television. And I'm not just blowing smoke. A show that my wife and I watch together and just laugh and roll on the floor. The show is Three Busy Debras

and our guests are the Debras themselves. Sandy Honig, Mitra Jahari, and Alyssa Stonaha. Hi, friends. Welcome to our program. We're thrilled to have you. Hello. Thank you for having us. Honestly, it was really hard to be quiet during that because we all really, really love silly t-shirts and funny merch okay what are your some of your favorite silly t-shirts well okay so the first one that came to mind i want to clarify sandy you brought this up lying about the silly sorry no no no i know i didn't want to interrupt it's hard over zoom it's hard over zoom i saw me i saw me preparing to speak i know i was trying to remember the the that Patty just gave me.

I think it was like, who put this shit in my ass or something like that. I was trying to see if it was in the room with me. I was like, I should make sure I was getting the quote exactly right because it is poetry. But it's something like that. I've been wearing mine to sleep every night. Patty Harrison, who is the funniest person of all time, got us all like novelty T-shirts to celebrate the new season. Mine says it's like a little like a like a loading bar, like a loading bar. And it says fart loading.

Yeah. But the weird thing is that it's on the back of the shirt. Okay. Well, that's where the fart's loading. I guess that's true. I guess that's true. I have a very similar one that's a fart doing a slam dunk and it says air fart. My boyfriend just gave me a shirt that is an acrostic poem of the word bitch.

I'm pretty loved. What are the letters in bitch stand for in that situation? I'm trying to remember. I think it's like beautiful, intelligent T, something horny. Words to live by. Beautiful, intelligent T, something horny. I don't have a camera to your age, but the other ones are more noteworthy, I guess. Alyssa, did you get one?

Well, I got one from Patty. It had a matching oven mitt, and it said, keep it weird. Oh, yeah, she got them in Austin. I hope that you do. I hope that you do. I'm really glad. And then I use the oven mitt of the time now of course um and i but i i am thinking of a t-shirt that i saw at a vintage store that had a bunch of like anthropomorphized raisins on it screaming and it said raisin hell

okay that's that's a good one yeah were they the california rais No, they weren't. They were generic. They were generic raisins. Other raisins. Legally dissimilar. These were the Oregon raisins. Yeah. I imagined when you described that shirt, I realized that it was probably R-A-I-S-I-N apostrophe, a shortening of raising. But it could also just be a depiction of where evil raisins go.

That's how I interpreted it. It was like a play on words where it was like, here's what raisin hell looks like. How did it look as compared to human hell? They were having a great time, honestly. Well, then I shall not acknowledge Raisin Christ. I might go to Raisin Hell. There was a t-shirt next to it that had a crucified raisin on it. No way.

Devastating. I hope in Raisin Hell we get to sing all our favorite Motown hits. We'll slice a heaven to me. Before we started taping, Jesse was telling us about his first time seeing a classic horror film

and he had a surprising reaction. I wanted to talk about it, but I also wanted to go around the horn and ask if people like horror movies and what the one that scared you the most as a kid was i do not like horror movies i get i guess it's very scared spooked sure yeah i don't like when things jump i think that's an unusual reaction i guess that's true i guess that's the point but i don't i guess i i would say i don't like the getting scared and i don't like when

the things jump out sure you prefer that the things either stay where they are like like if it's like a thriller situate you know oh it's it's kind of scary but as long as nothing's jumping out i'm generally okay but i can't when they jump in thrillers usually jordan they kind of ease in right yeah um anybody else or is does everyone feel similarly i love a horror movie i love getting scared i'm very annoying every jump scare works on me even trailers it all works on me anything anybody who wants to get scare somebody even a scary movie it's all your tricks are gonna work the tricks work the tricks work the tricks are working on me honey um i i love um the movie that scared me the most the first time i watched it was insidious and then the second time i watched

it i was like this scared me that bad definitely i was whimpering i think i was also like with someone that i had like just started dating in college and i was trying to be like i'm so scared but then i like really did get so scared and it was way more annoying than I wanted it to be. And I also love house of wax and all the final destinations. Oh, the final destinations are, I think people sleep on the final destinations,

like on, on average, you know, the, if you take the average quality of the eight or nine final destinations, pretty good. Mean, median or mode,

Jordan? Let's go mode. All a that is give me some ice cream i am very similar i'm just gonna pipe in really fast and say i'm very no pipe please very similar to sandy very very scared of horror movies didn't watch a single one as a child um but some girls did explain the movie um the strangers to me in i don't know sixth grade and i had nightmares for two weeks and i was i couldn't like do any i was really scared in my house and i was crying all the time just from the description just like thinking about the theoretical movie yeah because like

isn't childhood a nightmare enough sure tell me about it well it's also one of those what's great about the strangers is everyone's doing everything right for most of the movie like they're doing things that like the choices they make are like choices that like i feel that i would make and i would probably do something even dumber than what they're doing in the movie but you're watching you're like yeah like you're closing all the windows you're locking all the doors you're getting a weapon like what else are you supposed to do so yeah you should it's good to you have nightmares. So the takeaway is there's nothing you can do.

Yeah, you're going to die one day. Yeah, there's nothing you can do. It's out of your control. Sure. And it's all random. And it doesn't mean anything. It's not happening for a reason. It's just that life is cruel, random chaos.

Yeah, sort of like the lesson of the snowman from Frozen. Right. Yes. Beautiful. Nothing you can do you're gonna die cool random chaos alissa have you ever did you ever did you ever like sit down and watch it or if this is still just exist in your mind as the most terrifying thing if i think about it to this day i can move myself to tears wow that's what like meryl Streep does you need to be using this in your acting yeah in all my acting of course I'll be using this Meryl Streep is just gazing off into this and she's like sorry I was just thinking of Saw 3

I was thinking of an elementary school description of Saw 3. I watched a YouTube compilation of all the kills. Yeah, I read the back of a horror novel. My kind of personal, just so we all kind of know where we're coming at from this discussion. I really love horror movies. I was kind of late to them i was a little bit of a fraidy cat like in high school but kind of uh calloused myself up to them because like going to see them was such a big social thing so i wanted to be invited uh so i kind of got over it now i'm just like numb and i need like i i need the titanes of the world give me the hard shit

give me the french weird body whore. Give me those Cronenbergs. So that's kind of where I'm at. Did you like Malignant? Oh, God, I loved Malignant. Malignant was great. Wasn't there a hot second where people were going to vote, give Malignant some weird, like, honorary Oscar because they were dumb enough to open it up to voting? Good. Give it an Oscar. For the longest time, whenever anyone brought up Malignant, I thought they were talking about Maleficent. I didn't know they were different movies and everyone kept being like Malignant is so good. And I was like, what is going on? That's so funny. That's so funny.

You mentioned Maleficent because I just bought a thong with her on it doing a bong rip. It's so funny you mentioned Maleficent because I just bought a thong with her on it doing a bong rip. I'm trying to think of the t-shirt pun that that would be. Oh, my God. Help us, Etsy. Maleficent? No, not good. That's pretty good. It's okay.

It's a first draft. It's a first draft. So, yeah. So, Jesse, what was the classic? So, Jesse, you actually don't watch horror movies but have kids that love them. Yeah, I've seen, you know, I saw Carrie and The Shining, and I've seen, like, Vertigo. I watched like a stabby rivers of blood kind of horror movie before until my daughter, who's 10, became completely obsessed with horror movies. And once she's locked on, there's no unlocking her.

Both my wife and I, I want to be clear, completely opposed to this, but also truly nothing we can do about it. And so she started making us watch them because we were like, okay, we can watch them with us there during the day when your siblings aren't here and like trying to figure out the rules. But I mostly still have made my wife do it,'s even scared her than me she just loves parenting more than i do um and like my wife will i mean jump scares my wife will scream if she drops a tangerine scary though scary yeah they're expensive more expensive than a naval orange with with inflation etc oh what what was inflation etc speak on it no thank you thanks a lot biden jacking up our tangerine prices he's no cutie um and so my daughter is cute yeah My daughter got the idea to go to this drive in screening of Nightmare on Elm Street, which she had seen, I think, with her babysitter or maybe my wife.

But she really wanted to go to this drive in screening and she goes to bed at like 830 or eight. So the fact that this movie started at 8.30 was a big deal in and of itself. But we drove out to Glendale, California. And I don't like to brag on this show, but we did go to Glendale. We went in the parking structure of an abandoned Sears. And, you know, it was one of these inflatable screen drive-in type deals

yeah which was really nice I was a little bummed because when I agreed to do it I thought it was at a actual drive-in but it was nice it was nice because they advertised it as the oldest one in los angeles and i believe them substantially because it had no evidence of like marketing or cool people or even faux cool people involved it was just like a taco stand um like a street corner taco stand not even like a taco truck that also served cheeseburgers and like three ladies selling bags of popcorn like grocery

store bags of popcorn and then just this metal dude who had an enormous vape and was so nice about helping us park where we could get out early if we needed to. That's nice. And when you say metal dude, you mean like the tin man?

Yeah, I do. I'm thinking more of Bicentennial Man, but yeah. He's like, I can help you get out early if you only help me find my heart. And my oil can. Also, what I love about L.A. is that every single place claims to be the oldest something or the first something. And I believe every single one. There are 2008 also. People have been watching movies in that Sears parking lot since the the westward expansion actually right that's true originally the mewalk watched movies

um so it was i was a solid nightmare on elm street i was prepared to be bummed but it was actually pretty great from when that metal dude with the uh enormous vape told me that I could back into the spot so that I would be able to leave more easily. And I saw Nightmare on Elm Street, and I can't say I was that scared. I might not have been paying quite enough attention to be scared, admittedly. But no one had told me that it's a Home Alone movie. Sure, yeah. Like with Macaulay Culkin?

Yeah. And it's Johnny Depp, Macaulay Culkin, and Freddy from Nightmare on Elm Street. And she does a bunch of traps. These very trap intensive. I love a trap movie. Parent. Parent, yes. Oh, yeah.

If you're trapping your parents, I am there. Fandango.com, one, please. Hello, Fandango.com, one, please, for any trap movie. Yes. Hello, Fandango.com. One, please, for any trap movie. There is a scene where they're like, why are you reading that book, Small Munitions and Traps? And then she just goes like, I'm reading a trap book.

Might be useful later. Yeah, then later on she does a bunch of fucking traps. Chekhov's trap book. Exactly. Thank you, Sandy. Yes. Of course. Yes. Dramaturgically sound,

this movie. You know that was like a note from the studio. Yeah. Like, why does she know how to do all these traps? Yeah.

How are we going to set up that she can handle this situation? That's a good, I mean, that's a good reminder though that like the motivation for any character can just be that they were reading it in a book yeah you don't have to actually explain anything if you're making a movie you just go oh they can

just have the book right yeah in the beginning of wizard of oz dorothy is reading a book called how to get home first example the other thing about it is the thing that i and i ended up really liking it the thing that i didn't realize was how much of the movie is just i guess wes craven just being like ah i thought of another cool thing right and my yeah and my Right. And my prosthetics friends made this cool gunk. Yeah. The way I'm originally made it should be like that. Yeah. He's working backwards from the gunk substantially.

Yeah. You have your friend with a long braided beard, make some gunk, and then you write the movie. All great stories start with gunk. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. What is that Peter Jackson movie where it's all like alien the frighteners is that what it is no no i feel like it's all of these little like

the hobbit or alien yeah lord of the rings maybe meet the feebles you're talking about is this meet the feeble meet the fuckers no meet the fuck oh sorry it's the it's the get back documentary you know i'm i'm kidding peace and love peace and love they're they're like all these aliens and then at the end bad taste oh sure yeah yeah that one definitely feels like the entire thing was just like, how freaky can we make these faces? And then the whole movie is just like, keep punching them. I mean, Nightmare on Elm Street has a list like quality. It's like a series of things happening.

And I did not expect the opening scene to be Freddy. I figured, well, first of all, there's like a Freddy training montage where he's making his knife glove with just a bunch of close-ups. Like it's one of those reality TV shows where they make swords. That's also probably a studio note. They're like, how do you get that knife glove? He's reading a book. We've got to where they make swords. That was also probably a studio note. They're like, how do you get that knife glove? He's reading a book. We got to see him make it. We got to see him go to the knife glove store.

One please, bitch. In that opening scene where Freddie is chasing the main lady around, I turned to my daughter and I said, why is there a goat there and she goes it's a sheep but that's it that's all that there's no there's no more sheeps in the movie just a sheep wanders through this warehouse it represents the girl's innocence um thank you. Have you guys ever seen Fiddler on the Roof? Is that a Wes Craven? I bring it up because there is... Oh my God, someone needs to recut the trailer. If I was a Richard...

Let the record show for the podcast listeners that Mitra, as was doing it was doing a slow stabbing motion um but the reason i bring it up is because um there's one shot in the movie where there's a goat in a tree it's in the middle of um the like uh frumicera song and it's like right before they introduced frumicera they just really quick cut to a goat in a tree i don't remember that do you think they caught that footage and they're like okay where do we put the goat in because they must have because it it never comes back it's just that one shot and then well my brother and i used to always sing it because it would be there would be part of it would be like, who is this? Who is this? And we would go, oh, go.

That's so funny. I've never seen the original Fiddler on the Roof, but I have seen Yenta versus Predator. Well, the goat in the tree sounds to me like a studio note where they were like, we don't have. Right. Well, the goat in the tree sounds to me like a studio note where they were like, we don't have any goats in the tree. It might be about time to take a break. But before we do that, I think I have the pitch that I like for the Maleficent stoner underpants. Thanks, Jordan. Oh, yes, please.

How does everybody feel about Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Bong Rip? That's great. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Every episode of Jordan Jesse Goh is supported by the members of Maximum Fun. Our thanks to all of those members.

You rule. You own. You're the reason this show exists. Thank you for supporting us on the MaxFunDrive. You are the best. We're also, this week week sponsored by BetterHelp. Now, Jordan. Yes.

I think you know a little something about burnout. Boy, do I ever. Okay. We're talking the PlayStation 1 game. Know about that. We're talking about what happens if you leave your CRT monitor on without a screensaver. Sure. Sorry, that's burn-in.

Mm-hmm. I messed it up. We know about that, too. We know about that. We're talking about that bacchanalia in the desert. Mm-hmm. Burnout, man. No, we're talking not just...

Look, people think that burnout is just about work. And it certainly can be. But it can come from any part in your life. I mean, there are times in our lives when we get overwhelmed, when we get exhausted, when we get worn down, when our gears are ground. And a great thing to do in that time is to get some help, get some therapy. It is, it's really going some help, get some therapy. It is, it's really going to help you through those times. Yeah,

it's, it's, it's really awesome. And I think, I think sometimes people avoid going to therapy because maybe they think like, oh, I can deal with this with a family member or with a loved one or with a spouse or a pet. But,

you know, with a spouse or a pet, but it just helps so much to have a trained outside observer who can talk about this stuff with you. It really just makes all the difference. I've done it. Jesse's done it. I used to talk about this stuff, Jordan,

with my dog, but I figured I needed a trained outside observer, so I started doing it with the dog from Frasier. Oh, Eddie. Yeah. One of the Yeah, he's so well-trained. I do not know if Eddie is licensed or not. He's certainly, you know, adjacent to someone with a license. I got three hours a week of therapy, homie. I love it. Saving my life. Yeah, it's really terrific, and if you're thinking about doing it, if you did it

before and stopped and want to come back, there's a lot of great ways to do it. And one of those ways is BetterHelp. It is customized online therapy. They got video options, phone options, even live chat sessions. So if you don't want to see anyone on camera, you don't have to.

It can be more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Jordan, Jesse, go listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash JJ go. That's betterhelp.com slash JJ go. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. I'm Mitra Johari, Debra. Sadie Honig, Debra. Alyssa Stonehaugh, Debra.

Okay, that's fine. There you go. They're the three busy Debras from the show Three Busy Debras Funniest show The audience missed the 12 minute segment before we started recording where me and Jordan just listed our favorite jokes

from the show It's my favorite kind of comedy where you want to sit someone down and tell them the jokes you like it's it's yeah it's my favorite kind of comedy where you want to like sit someone down and tell them the jokes you like listen to this and then they and then they drank this rancid milk and said it's such a funny show it's uh yeah i think i think if you're if you're listening to this show you will love it um yeah it's on the it's on the adult swim it's on the hbo max

we'll talk about it later yeah well thank you in the meantime yes thank you when something momentous happens to you uh we ask you to call us at 206-984-4-FUN or just send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org that's our legendary segment that has not been run into the ground. Momentous Occasions. Brian, why don't you play one? Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and Janie at Ed Tompkins. This is Jessica Cullen from Aurora, Illinois. I called a couple months ago because I had started leasing this horse and was riding a lot in the Chicago suburbs.

I have a weird thing that just happened to me. I was riding around the property and this barn that I ride at is just plopped in the middle of like a pretty ritzy Chicago suburb. So I was riding this horse spareback around the property. And this woman walked straight up to me and said, I'm lost. Do you know this area? And I said, oh, yeah, I do. She asked where a certain street was.

And I said, yeah, it's on this street. Go directly this way. And she kind of looked at me and looked at where we're going. And I said, would you like me to walk you there and what i thought she would say is i don't know you're on a horse you have some shit going on but fucking bluff called she's like yes i would love decision to walk my horse off property, which is a clumsy decision at best, and was just walking bareback down a sidewalk of truly one of the fanciest neighborhoods in the chicagoland area this woman was next to me she kept stopping to pick flowers um a couple times i had to ask her directly not to stand

directly behind my horse um i i don't know it was the wildest thing that's ever happened to me. We got to a point that she said, oh, I definitely 100% know where I am now. And I said, good, because I don't know. I'm probably coming in a fucking felony walking this horse off property. Anyway, so I called the cops. I don't like the cops, but I didn't know what else to do I called them and said I hope this woman got home this is where she said she was going got back to my place

it was truly just like the most cuckoo bananas crazy pants thing that's ever happened to me I hope that was a coherent story love you guys bye I was I hope that was a coherent story. Love you guys. Bye. Love you too. I was in Pasadena today.

Probably the world's most legendary city. And we've discussed on this show how like in Burbank, California, there's a neighborhood where you're allowed to ride around on a horse. It's built for horse folk. It's just a regular, it's not a horse place in any other way other than that you're allowed to ride around on a horse there. You can pull yourself in a horse cart as well. There's a coffee bean and tea leaf that has a horse door. Yeah. So the horse can go in.

Wow. Get their Java. Get their Javaava don't talk to me until i've had my feed bag full of java hey horses need they beans too horses need they be horses need they beans too horses need they beans it's goofy saying that um Horses need they beans too. Horses need they beans. It's goofy saying that. So I was in Pasadena, California, which as far as I know has no horse neighborhood. I may be mistaken. Look, I've seen horses in La Cunada, Flintridge, of course.

Of course. Who hasn't? Who has? In this town? If you want to talk about Montrose, we can talk about Montrose. I'll look into whether there's a horse's neighborhood there. Yeah. My point is that I wasn't in a place with capacious backyards.

I wasn't in a semi-rural part. You know, in Los Angeles, there are weirdly semi-rural neighborhoods, but this is not one of them. Just a regular suburban neighborhood, like from Home Alone or something. You're obsessed with Home Alone.

This guy is fucking full of tricks. Jesse, are you gonna marry Home Alone? I propose by mail. I'm waiting full of tricks. Jessie, are you going to marry home alone? Yeah. I propose by mail. I'm waiting to find out. I put my perfume on the letter.

I'm Jessie. I'm home alone. God, Jordan, you're the rich little of your generation. Twasn't home alone. Twas Jordan all along. Twas? Twas. Twirt.

Shakespeare. In the street was a horse carrier. You know what I'm talking about. You connect it to a car and then you bring your horse around. You know what I'm talking about. We all have to a car and then you bring your horse around. You know what I'm talking about. We all have one. It's like a horse cage. Yeah, sure. It's a rolling cage for horses.

It's probably got horse food in there. Cages for horses. Yeah. Yes. Yes. So I seen a horse go into the cage, which was fine. That kind of made sense. But it came out of a garage.

What does that mean? That's where they charge it. That's the horse's man cave when he needs to get away from the wife. Goes in there to play pinball. My dream is to ride a horse down the pedestrian street. Yeah. How does everybody feel about horses? I was not a horse down the pedestrian street yeah how does everybody feel about horses i i was not a horse girl i mean i you know what do you think i am what do you think i am owned a

horse but uh my dream now but my dream now is that i want to own a horse so i want to be a horse girl so bad i never rode i never like rode horses as a kid or anything but i want to be a horse girl later in life and what and what are you doing to make that happen thinking about it never wrote i never like rode horses as a kid or anything but i want to be a horse girl later in life and what and what are you doing to make that happen thinking about it and talking about it that's the first step yes you're visualizing you're manifesting it's the secret yeah i will have a horse would you settle alissa for a for a. Well, I want to ride it, though. So I don't want to, like, you know, what if I kill the pony? Because it can't, you know, it can only handle, like, a child's weight. You're thinking of, like, a petting zoo mini horse. You're not going to kill.

Our friend Lisa Hanawalt from Baby's Musician. I was just thinking about her. She's got her own pony. She rides around on it like crazy. She has a pony? Yes. Yeah, I don't know if she does it bareback, but she rides on there. Bareback seems insane.

I'm sorry. Every time someone says they ride the horse bareback, it sounds sexual. I'm sorry. It just sounds sexual. I don't know what you're talking about, Sandy. Don't be gross on our show. Well, there's some horrible stories about people with their horses well whenever i'm riding a horse i'm never wearing a condom

i wear a female condom right i have a dental dam taped over my face because you're an ally We're all allies here. Wow. Way to get topical. If I can briefly address the news. Yeah. So I read, you know how, I don't know, Jordan and I were RAs in college. And for that reason, we had. Really awesome. Yes.

Yes. It stood for really awesome. And for that reason, we had a lot of dental dams. You have to have intimate health products available when you're an RA for your charges.

Mostly that one kid, David, who had a giant dick. And so he needed large condoms. Everybody would talk to each other about how he had a giant dick, but then when he would come to the door, he really did need the large condoms because of his size of his dick. But RIP. I think he's,

I don't think he's alive. He passed away from too, too small of condom.I.P. I don't think he's alive. He passed away from too small of a condom. Suffocated. But no one, I don't know if this was your experience, Jordan, but in the two years that I was an R.A., no one came and got a dental dam from me. Did anyone ever get a dental dam from you, Jordan? Yeah, my memory is similar. It's just I had a bunch of dental dams at the end of the year, and we just threw them at each other,

watered them up and threw them at each other. That is really awesome. Yeah, it is awesome. Yeah, so naturally we were all right. Really awesome. total animal house situation i um uh you know who didn't want us to wad them up and throw at each other that fucking dean oh that dean i hate the dean fucking dean uh brian we got another uh call wait hold on i want to save my news story.

Oh, your news. Okay. Yeah. What do you got? I heard a story that because people are resistant to using dental dams, they've invented a new type of dental dam that's underpants. And that doesn't seem better to me. They seem to be taken as read in the news story that of course wearing

sexual health underpants and then putting mouth on genital through underpants special sexual underpants would be better. Well. And they both seem bad. Do they have a naughty Disney slogan on them? Now that I could go for. Go on Etsy and type in sexual underpants. There's absolutely nothing hotter than special sexual underpants. Why do you think I'm so horny all the time? I can't get the thought out of my head.

Special sexual underpants head are they made is it like a swim cap with leg holes i think that's what it is just use condoms freaks yeah you freaks if you're worried about nasty but al, do not feel good for the man. Come on now. Thank you, Sandy. On the other hand.

Did you guys hear that the CDC just announced you actually don't have to wear condoms in public anymore? Hey, I still put on condoms when I bring in my groceries, okay? I'll stop. Anytime I'm indoors, I'm put on condoms when I bring in my groceries, okay? I'll stop. Anytime I'm indoors, I'm wearing a... God, I creep myself out saying rubber instead of... I didn't want to say condom again because we'd said it so many times, but I feel like rubber is a very weird, uncomfortable word. It reminds me of something my dad would say.

Yes, that's exactly what it is. Something your dad would say. When he was putting on his condoms. Help me put on this rubber son i love you uh brian we have one more call on that just so uh just so you deborahs know um we're really creative and come up with a lot of recurring segments on the show so people call in to further recurring segments that we came up with it's not just some shit that they wanted to say and then they say that it's, they say the name of a segment at the beginning to kind of cover for the fact that they're calling it in. Go ahead

and do stuff we thought of. Go ahead, Brian, we're creative. Go ahead. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. This is Brian from Lakewood calling in for your long-running segment, Tales from Scales and Tales. I heard you mention the Scales and Tales in Pasadena, and this reminded me of the fact

that I used to date the manager of our local Scales and Tales here in Colorado. She would always bring home quote-unquote pet projects, various animals that needed to be taken out of the store and given special care for a little while, including about half a dozen balding sugar gliders, some kind of small, horrifying rodent, tarantulas that have problems. Brian, I want to be clear. First of all, Jordan, Jesse, go is not a place for bullying. So much, much less cyber bullying.

Right. Number two. That's a funny joke from three busy. Debra's is when there's a hamburger on trial. They ask what it did. They say it was cyber. That is a funny joke from three busy. Debra's. That is a funny joke from three busy.

Debra's. Sounds like we're all on the same page except for Mitra. I just think that it is. Sounds like we're all on the same page except for Mitra. I just think that it is. You heard it here first, folks. I just think that it is. Just exists, man. Why judge it? I think the Bible verse that we read on the program last week demonstrates our commitment to the bald.

that we read on the program last week demonstrates our commitment to the bald. We're probably going to send a bear, two bears, to maul and kill this caller who insulted these bald sugar gliders. Those things are cute. I don't know if you know what those are,

but they're cute. They're fucking adorable. They're like little flying mice. They're adorbs. Imagine a mouse with wings. Oh! Oh! Your! Oh! Look at your trouser leg. So cute. Disgusting.

You can't make me like that. Imagine an angel mouse. No, I don't want to. That's a little halo. Angel mouse. Angel mouse. Lady Gaga's angel mouse work tape. I don't want to Angel That's a little halo Angel Mouse Angel Mouse Lady Gaga's Angel Mouse work tape

Sorry That's a very Extremely specific Reference that From Lady Gaga's Album Joanne She has a song Called Angel Down

And then she of course At the end of the album Released the work tape Of that song Angel Down work tape And so the joke was Angel Mouse Work Tape so we all like the joke

we're all into the joke not just here but also listening at home great and it's live everyone check out Lady Gaga's Angel Down Work Tape wherever you stream music Lady Gaga actually wrote on season two of three busy

she must have been fun in the room yeah the mall episode was actually her idea yeah did you hear any good tony bennett stories oh my god those like we i mean we're in the room till like 10 p.m every single night because we're just getting all these iconic tony bennett stories from lady gaga who wrote on the show and like and then Tony came in a few times, just sort of popped in. Yeah. Like the random jokes. Yeah. He's like an everyday, he's like more of a consultant.

Yeah. He struggled with senility. Yeah. Like, where's this coming from, Tony? Random. Okay. So I just wanted to speak up on behalf of bald animals of all kinds, and especially sugar gliders, which are, in my opinion, very adorable creatures.

I don't know why they were selling them at the lizard store. I can't tell you the answer to that. But go ahead. That's a classic. I see their lizards, too. Tarantulas that were having problems molting. Is that a thing they do? And

a big old pile of hissing cockroaches, which she would keep in a terrarium about a foot away from the bed when I would stay over. Also, her ferret of undetermined and possibly unknowable gender, named No Bueno,

stole my glasses once. I was fucking bullied by a ferret. Thanks, No Bueno. Point Dexter. Obviously, I'm imagining the ferret putting the glasses on and running around. What he needs to do is taxes, yes. He's reading a book, putting on glasses.

Ferret's like, fuck you fuck you four eyes I eat three quarters of my weight in meat every day now I can finally work my way through Hamlet sad there's no ham she eats so much meat oh a stage production of Hamlet starring a ferret

yeah yeah I just got a letter from lady gaga she says great work alissa oh my god don't play like that jesse thank you stephanie thank you stephanie we we have no choice but to stand a random joke legend. Gracias, Stephanie. No choice but to stand for me. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.

Was it worth it? No, but it's fine. Nothing on this show is worth it. Yes, the show is not worth doing. Let's be clear. This is a waste. Jordan and Jesse, don't talk about your friends Jordan and Jesse like that. Thank you.

No, you're right. We should treat ourselves. We should spoil ourselves. We should spoil ourselves like we're children that we love. How will you guys be spoiling yourselves? Warm mail. Well, first of all, I'm going to put on my sexual underpants. Jordan, that's just a swim cap with leg holes.

Don't tell me what it is. It's whatever I want it to be. You can't the secret a swim cap with leg holes into sexual underwear. It's not how it works. Hey, Jesse, go fuck yourself. Safely with this swim cap with leg holes Hey Jesse don't talk about Don't talk about my friend's special sexual underpants like that Spoil him

206-9844-FUN Or just send us a voice memo at jjgoe at maximumfun.org We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go. Did your neighbor back into your car? Bring that case to Judge Judy. Think the mailman might be the real father? Give that one to Judge Mathis. But does your mom want you to flush her ashes down the toilet at Disney World when she passes away? Now that's my jurisdiction. Welcome to the court of Judge John Hodgman, where the people are real, the disputes are real, and the stakes are often unusual. If I got arrested for dumping your ashes in the Jungle Cruise, it would be an honor.

I don't want to be part of somebody getting a super yacht. I don't know at what point you want to go into this, but we've had a worm bin before. Available free right now at MaximumFun.org. Judge John Hodgman, the court of last resort when your wife won't stop pretending to be a cat and knocking the clean laundry over.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hi, my name is Graham Clark, and I'm one half of the podcast Stop Podcasting Yourself, a show that we've recorded for many, many years. And at the moment, instead of being in person, we're recording remotely. And you wouldn't even notice. You don't even notice the lag. That's right, Graham.

And the great thing about this... Go ahead. No, you go ahead. Okay, and... Okay, go ahead. And you can listen to us every week on MaximumFun.org. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

Your podcasts. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morse, boy detective. Meet your Jahari, Debra. Sandy Honig, Debra. And Alyssa Stone, aha, Debra. When y'all put together a script and all the main characters have the same first name,

what do you put in the script just for your reference? Our real names. Cool. But it's grim to be like, Mitra, looking uglier than anyone in the world, does blah, blah, blah. Mitra chokes Sandy until she dies. Do you guys have like a whole set of weird Deborah outfits? Is there a place where they're kept? Do you have a person in charge of Deborah outfits outside of the rest of the art direction of the show?

There's the Deborah outfits are very serious. Yeah. Our costume designer, Ron Lehman, who is a genius, there's a big storage warehouse of Deborah's costumes and props in Seattle that just exists. And if anything ever happens to it, we're really screwed. Is it in a wing of the Rock and Roll Museum?

It is, yeah. It's at the top of the space needle whoa cool it's in sean kemp's dispensary jordan do you guys have a top deborah outfit i really liked well wait hold on i'm sorry to cut you off i just want to say that in our little fucking uh in our little brady bunch zoom windows here, each Debra did a different hmm take. Like each going a different direction in the frame. Each doing a different like finger to the face. It was extraordinary.

Sorry, Alyssa. What's your favorite Debra outfit? Well, one that I got to wear that I really loved is another person on our wardrobe team ladon king made um made me an outfit that's like a rose bush and uh where it's like she made me a dress that's just like a big round rose bush that i could like hide in because it was it was from um an episode that aired last week that's currently streaming on HBO Max called Operation

Steel Team Debra written by SNL's Sarah Sherman and directed by Katie Skelton and that's one that I really love it was a fun one to play to hide in and it was hard to walk in but it was awesome. I feel like I would love to

wear a white pantsuit with stretchy pants and just walk around you can spoil yourself spoil yourself by spoil yourself we mean lay out in the sun um in women's history of one incurred directed by um sandy honig toxic to work with david o russell situation it was heaven um and that one was written by me and diana tay who was our writer's assistant who was so funny she ended up um writing an episode um i got to wear this like silver um jumpsuit

that was um made for moi it's awesome for the character of radiationation Rhonda, everyone's talking about it. I want to say the reason that it was made custom was because there is a very specific point. Spoiler alert. She bends over to reveal a red thong sticking out of her pants. So it had to be sort of built around that. Sort of like a mandrill. It has like a low scoop in the back low scoop in the back so that when she bends over the thong is really uh really shows but it has to look like a worker's jumpsuit because i'm sneaking into a factory where only men are allowed to work so i'm in the i'm in what looks like a one piece then i bend over and you see my whale tail i'll

say this is the second time in the show in the entire show where um mitcher has something going on at the top of her ass and a special that is true wow the other day i was at little league practice trying to explain to our friend elliot calen about what the debbras is. Oh, from Daily Show? Yeah, there you go. I used to intern there. I think he was like the head writer when I interned there. Oh my gosh, yes. Anywhere.

I was explaining to Elliot what the three busy Debras were, and I didn't quite have the words. It's like they're all kind of Martha Stewart-y, and they live in this kind of heightened world, but it's very silly, but they're kind of serious and intense and like trying to explain the whole thing. And I should have just said there's two jumpsuits with the something at the top of the butt. Something at the top of the butt. If you ever forget the title of the show, just Google jumpsuit with something at the top of the butt. On HBO Max. Google that on HBO Max.

Search for it on HBO Max. And then you can watch the program. Just hit the voice thing on your Apple remote and say that. Yeah. Or your Roku. This is brand agnostic. Go ahead and use Roku. Press the Roku button.

Use your Amazon Fire Stick. If you've got a Fire Stick, you can watch Three Dizzy Debras on HBO Max. It's not going to stop you. You know what, Jordan? Let's say you're at home on a personal computer computer. Go ahead and type in Three Busy Debras to HBO Max. You can watch it right fucking there.

Plug your headphones in. You won't bother anybody in your house. You wouldn't bother anybody except from laughing so hard. Yeah. The only problem is you're laughing so hard it messes up your partner's recipe. We would not want that.

We were looking forward to Clam's Casino. This Clam Casino is full of nails. Well, I'm sorry. You were just laughing too hard in the other room so I poured nails into it. Well, Sandy, Alyssa, Mitra, sorry you were just laughing too hard in the other room so i poured nails into it uh well sandy alissa mitra what a pleasure it's been to have you on the program we're very very grateful you made the time um uh and we really hope everybody will get on their hbo max or get on adult swim and watch the three busy deboras because the some of the funniest fucking shit on tv uh without question.

If you want to hear, look, I did a real interview with them that's on Bullseye. So if you want to hear an actual interview about the program and stuff, you can hear it on Bullseye. But I think we sold the show with the top of the butt thing, right? If that doesn't get them.

Right, Jordan? I don't know what will. Our producer. if that doesn't get him I don't know what will our producer if that doesn't get you we don't want you to watch the show and I'm speaking for you can we get some t-shirts for Disneyland with Debra's on it drinking

chardonnay with ice cubes in it but also piglets there and a bunch of complaining about how expensive it is to buy park hopper tickets. They're roasting piglet on a spit. They've killed him.

Piglet hell. Disneyland. Disneyland. What about Debra Land I'm talking thank you Debra Land sounds really great and I'm really excited to visit the Star Wars attractions we're partnering with Marvel

that's great Star Wars isn't Marvel whatever Alyssa you just pissed off a lot of people with that comment. They're sending fucking such angry letters to Lady Gaga right now. Dear Stephanie. Brian, Sonny D. Fernandez, our producer, our theme music, Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. You can find us on Twitter at Jesse Thorne at Jordan underscore Morris.

We're on Instagram at Jordan, David Morris and at put.this.on. We are also on Reddit at maximumfund.reddit.com. You can find us on Facebook, facebook.com slash Jordan, Jesse go. God, I hope you wrote that shit down because it was gold. We will talk to you next time on Jordan Jesse Go. Maximumfun.org

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