Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 744: Mississippi Cumbler with Blaire Erskine

Episode Date: June 30, 2022

Blaire Erskine (Jimmy Kimmel Live!) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the business Blair wanted to take to Shark Tank, the probing inquiries on Blaire's wikifeet page, and everyone's local media aspirations. Thank you to our sponsors -- BetterHelp – Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/JJGoLumi Labs – Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use JJGO for 30% off + Free Shipping. 

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, happy Father's Day to you every day. Thanks, man. Every day, Jordan. Even Father's Day?

Even Father's Day. We're recording this Even Father's Day? Even Father's Day. We're recording this on Father's Day, but of course, our audience won't be hearing it on Father's Day. But, you know, as that guy who was walking the opposite direction from me at Kaiser once said, happy Father's Day to you every day, Jordan. Thank you. I mean, I, you know, I'm not a father. I got to get a son, of course.

As our longtime listeners know, got to get a son. Do you not have a son? No, I got to get one. Oh, I have one. Yeah, no, I know. You're always waving that son in my face, making me feel like a real dick. Yeah, I do. Look at my son.

Look at my son. I do send him to your bungalow to knock on the door. Why do you do that? He just flips you a double bird and laughs in your fucking face because you haven't been able to create your son i'm your friend's son i got two my children really came through for me this year at father's day let's hear about it i have three children frankie the youngest youngest, did nothing. Well, at one point, she said she was going to kill me. Oh, well, that's a beautiful gift.

It was really thoughtful. In its own way, the sweet release of death. You to the flea market down there in Long Beach. Gorgeous flea market there, right by Long Beach City College Veterans Memorial Stadium. By the way, Long Beach City College Veterans Memorial Stadium, I think that place seats 10,000. Who is going to see a junior college track meet that they have a 10,000-seat stadium? Jesse, I want to hear more about this stadium just wanted to let you know a little bit about what's going on in the room here my cat found her catnip banana which she had lost but she found it and now she's going nanner crazy

so i mean i'm interested in this uh stadium or whatever it is you're talking about but i do need to at least check out the uh nanner crazy that's going on in the room no that's all i got on on the stadium i just am wondering who's going to see juco lacrosse what 10 000 long beachians are going to see juco lacrosse you know what would be cool to see um in a stadium what's that cat going nanner crazy well it's a banana filled with catnip and when she gets a hold of it In a stadium. What's that? Cat going nanner crazy. Well. It's a banana filled with catnip, and when she gets a hold of it, she goes nanner crazy. Junior college is non-scholarship. I think you'd want to at least send the cat to, Bug could get into a Division II, don't you think? No, she rolled her ankle in high school.

Okay. The medicals are coming back negative. Okay, so I took Grace. Yeah. I took Grace to the flea market beautiful and my wife theresa who loves me very much she gave grace twenty dollars to choose something for me love this which i thought was really sweet of theresa and i was really looking forward to what grace chose b Brian fade up, catch in the cradle.

Jordan, you want to know what Grace chose? What? Nothing. She gave the $20 back to my wife after. What is that? She didn't see anything. What is that? What would you have wanted, ideally?

Probably some European porno mags, like Swedish stuff. Yeah. You know? That's what I've heard is the good stuff. Sure. They don't shave over there, if you know what I mean. I mean, I know what shaving is, yeah. Yeah. All day long, my son, Oscar, age eight, is bragging to me that he got me something really special. He teased it like he was going to go get it at breakfast, but then he didn't get it,

went to the flea market, came home. Then we're finally having this nice family father's day dinner. Right. And Oscar says, can I go get my present for you, dad? And I said, of course, Oscar.

I was so excited to have something, you know, like a picture he drew or something like that. Or maybe he teamed up with, with Teresa and got me, uh, you know, something fun for the whole family, a new video game or something like that.

And, uh, he, he came downstairs, he had his hands behind his back. And got me something fun for the whole family. A new video game or something like that. And he came downstairs. He had his hands behind his back. And he said, are you ready, Dad? And I said, yeah. And he took out a can of refried beans and said, it's beans. Oh, that's really beautiful. Thank you.

That's really beautiful. The musical fruit? Yeah. They were vegetarian beans. The musical fruit? Yeah. They were vegetarian beans. They were Whole Foods 365 brand. Oh, nice. That's great if you're on a budget. Yeah. Value beans.

That's really beautiful. I thought, here's where I don't, and again, I don't know kind of your kids and their humor level that well. I thought we were going to turd in a box. I don't know why. That's the gift my elderly dog gave me this morning it's a poop on the kitchen floor beautiful anyway happy father's day to you every day jordan thank you thank you gotta get a son i got you a can of kidney beans those are nice and oh kidneys oh that's really nice do you ever put a garbanzo in a salad i don't love a garbanzo really yeah i don't love a garbanzo not my favorite my wife likes garbanzos i think she's too nice to tell me oh yeah you

found it you find like a napkin full of garbanzos uh under her chair at the end of every meal yeah and i'm here thinking that i'm adding protein to the salad, vegetarian protein to the salad, and I just find in the bowl there's these sad little chickpeas all left over looking up at me like, Daddy, what's wrong with us? You thought about separating the garbanzos, kind of having them separate,

then you can add the garbanzos that you want, and then people who don't like them. Realistically, how am I, a single human being, going to eat an entire can of garbanzo beans if my wife doesn't help me? If my wife doesn't eat any of the garbanzos, I'm eating a quarter of a can of these delicious, nutritious chickpeas. of these delicious, nutritious chickpeas, even if I roast the rest with a tasty spice,

they're not all going to get eaten. Jesse, sack it up. Fucking sack it up and finish the beans, man. You want to roast them? Jordan, this isn't another one of your men's rights issues. Listen, eat the beans. Make sure Bayonetta's costume is always sexy. Make the Star Wars sequels not canon anymore. Our guest on the program, we'll find out what she thinks about delicious.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get up on my turd box there. Sorry, I didn't mean to get up on my turd box there. Our guest on the program is, well, a beloved favorite here at Jordan Jesse Go. She is, of course, a political satire celebrity. Oh, no. I would say she's like, I mean, she doesn't quite have her own report, but pretty soon she'll be Borowitz level. Jesse, people are going to think we have Doonesbury on the show. Doonesbury from the cartoon strip Doonesbury. We don't.

We've tried to get Doonesbury. They keep offering us that asterisk that talks. That's all I remember about Doonesbury. Maybe that was George W. Bush. I don't remember. It was. Yeah, it had a cowboy hat. It had a cowboy hat, yeah i had a cowboy hat so

i had to be blair uh she's also a writer for the jimmy kimmel program blair erskine hi blair hello nice to talk to you roll that beautiful bean footage am i right roll roll tape on chickpeas um beans and what what to say do you have a top? So my husband's on a bean kick right now. And I did text him and I said, give me some bean knowledge I can use to impress. And he said, Rancho Gordo is your favorite fresh bean brand, which is hard to say. This is a bean brand, Jordan. Are you familiar with Rancho Gordo? No, I don't think I've had any Gordos. Tell me all about them. Yeah. Kevin Ferguson, the producer of Bullseye, he's on the Rancho Gordo? No, I don't think I've had any Gordos. Tell me all about them. Yeah, Kevin Ferguson, the producer of Bullseye, he's on the Rancho Gordo. Rancho Gordo is a VIP bean brand. This is a

velvet rope bean subscription service with a waiting list. Is that true? That's 100% real. I'm going to have to text my husband about that. Wait, Blair, do you have these beans? I'm going to have to text my husband about that. Wait, Blair, do you have these beans? Apparently, I've been eating these beans and I wasn't informed of this. I'm LegalZoom.com rolling up divorce papers. Let's see. Rolling up divorce papers.

People say it. That's how I blaze my trees. Subscription to beans? You know what he says, but that's news to me. Yeah, I probably, I mean, Blair, you might not know this, but I think probably you got to the front of the line because of Mr. Jimmy Kimmel. You think so? Jimmy Kimmel's got bean power. He had his personal assistant call Rancho Gordo, get me Gordo, he said.

That's how he talks. Yeah, I can imagine him saying that. They made it happen. I don't know if I can get these beans if this is a vip situation listen if they wouldn't let me onto raya they're not giving me these beans all right they didn't let you under rhyme listen it's a whole we don't have to get into it it's a whole thing raya is a celebrity dating app for like entertainment professionals yeah for people at showbiz you you would say, right? So non-show business celebrities can't get onto it? I don't know. I have not.

I admittedly, my attempts to get on Raya was a couple years ago. And I don't know if things have changed over there, who they're letting in, who they're rejecting. But at the time, I was not Raya material. Now, a lot's happened since then. My profile has lowered. Now, a lot's happened since then. My profile has lowered. I think theirs has too, though, so you might have a better chance. Yeah, yeah. Maybe they're like, oh, cool. Oh, you work in animation? Yeah, get over here. Sure.

I think they're taking anybody. I know some people on Raya. Okay. Yeah. And based on what I know, I think they should let you on. I'll write a letter of recommendation. Thank you. I would appreciate that. Absolutely. Jordan, have you thought about just putting your profile on LegalZoom? Rolling up your profile on LegalZoom. Sure.

Blair, what are you doing with these VIP beans? These VI beans? Listen, this is a shock to me. Again, I didn't know what I was eating. I don't know what I put in my body at any given moment. I texted my husband. I'm a woman. I just deferred him on everything. And this this is news to me i didn't know they were an elite bean company so i'm sorry i didn't mean to come across as rich or important well i mean you're raya material

i think i mean yeah first i'm on raya and i'm married yeah maybe that's what i gotta do gotta get that wife gotta get that son that son. Got to get that wife. Got to get that son. Can I recommend Mary Raya, Jordan? She's single. Oh, okay. What if I just watched the Disney movie Raya and the Last Dragon? It's pretty good.

Yeah. It's fun. I've been meaning to. So this will be a two birds with one stone situation. I don't think she's of legal age. Yeah. One of the things about that is it reminds you how talented Awkina is ah finally a reminder of how talented aquafina is i forget sometimes yeah sometimes you're like why did show business make this lady a celebrity all of a

sudden and then you're like oh because she's good yeah she's talented blair not to bring in the off mic material because i know you know the time between when we all get on Zoom and when the podcast starts, it's kind of a sacred, it's kind of a sacred space. Just some time for us. You know, I do a lot of smudging during that time. But you were saying that you had an entire dinner composed of charcuterie this evening. I did. I did. I know. Again, not to come across as rich and famous. Jesse can barely handle himself. I had cheese. I had baby carrots. There were pepperonis involved. Some chicken nuggets left over from a previous meal. It was, it was, it was, you can put anything. This is my kind of charcuterie. So, yeah. Some Wingstop. you can put anything this is my kind of charcuterie so yeah some wing stop are there wing stops in los angeles california yeah of course there are i thought i thought it was a georgia thing wow did you know that e40 owns his own wing stop

i did know that someone else told me that before you or maybe you told i don't know everybody i know gets mixed up. I'd love to go to E40's Wingstop. Yeah, no, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a string of strip malls in LA that didn't include a Wingstop. I think they're easy to come by. That's crazy to me. I really thought they were local to maybe Atlanta even. Because Atlanta, I feel like, is the Wingstop capital. Not Wingstop capital, just wings in general, everywhere. Strip clubs, end of list. Strip malls, strip clubs, we have chicken wings.

And you know who I think appreciates there being wings at the strip club are the strippers. Absolutely. They're probably glad that the customers have sticky sauce hands well no touching is allowed so it shouldn't bother them at all oh yeah and maybe that's a way to like prove that the guys have been getting handsy if the strippers have barbecue sauce on them wait do you think maybe they also like dust the wings with ultraviolet dust oh there's like a or there's one of those ink packs like in a bank robber money briefcase wait so you're saying like in the wings there's a false wing that if they

bite into it explodes with gel when you get down to the bottom corner that market and it's that ultraviolet stuff you can't wash off wow sharks we have an idea take that right to the tank yeah you know mr wonderful's gonna want an equity deal take it to the tank i love shark tank yeah hi sharks how many times has this happened to you but it's impossible to prove who's been touching your strippers oh my god my favorite thing about shark tank is everyone that comes in the tank just looks like it's like they've been they've been on cocaine for days like practicing their their speeches you know and they're like shaking and sweating and dead in the eyes they haven't slept in weeks i love it i love watching their

little speeches i think it's adorable they're just like i did five ted x's to prep for this let's go yeah the delivery in shark tank and i got boy i i talked about this on the show before but i like shark tank and could not explain why i don't know i guess just well-made reality tv draws you in but i don't know it's a mystery and i've decided not to question that i've just decided that if i feel like putting on a shark tank, I'll put on a shark tank and I'll not think about why it feels good. I'll just do it. I am right there with you. And when I started my freshman year of college, I would just get high and watch Shark Tank a bunch. And I watched so much Shark Tank that I got it in my head. But that's how I would make my fortune is by inventing something and going to the tank. And what I invented and I even reached reached out. Oh God, why am I talking about?

I reached out to people that I had seen on shark tank, you know, I Facebook messaged them and my idea was, so if you're wearing like flip-flops, but maybe your toes aren't looking great and you want to cover them up, like you could turn your flip-flops into regular shoes. So like, you know, just the top part, don't need i forget what i called it um and you could just slip it right on your open toe shoes and you had like a new shoe basically like and i still think it's a good idea blair i love this idea your evaluation

is insane i'm seeking 1.5 billion dollars for a 5% stake in this company whose name I cannot remember. Blair, what were you going to make them out of? I had no idea. Can I tell you what my first thought was? Go ahead. And I can't tell you why this was my first thought, but it's honest. Fruit roll-up. Oh, my God.

Jesse, you know who's going to love that? Who's that? All those nasty foot freaks out there. That's your poor market here. I know we've got a couple listening, you nasty foot freaks. Speaking of nasty foot freaks, I have a Google alert set for my name because I'm a narcissist, I guess. And I just want to see what people are saying. And I got an email this morning.

Someone has made a mobile Wiki feed, like a new wiki feed but it just has like mobile in front of it and um yeah so they've added some new pictures congratulations of your feet of my ugly feet yeah of your nasty little tootsies my nasty little toesy where are they getting where are they getting them have you been posting feet on main? What I've noticed, I have. Well, see, I'll post them on my Instagram story. And I don't just post my feed. They just happen to be in the picture, you know? And people really capture those while they're hot.

So before the 24 hours is up, someone's taking a screenshot of my feed and put them on wikifeed.com or mobilewikifeed.com. Is it possible that that's mobilewikifeed.com or mobile wikifeet.com is it possible that that's mobile wikifeet.com that's a great idea to to localize uh wikifeet yeah yeah so you can really find what you're looking for because wikifeet as it stands has a raya level you you know, bar of notability, I think. Like, there's this, look, you gotta be fucking Borowitz material to get onto WikiFeet. And Blair, you certainly are, but Jordan and I aren't. Have you looked? Jordan and I are about five to 15 years separated from our careers on cable tiers that you wouldn't believe people have.

You know what I mean? Like cable tiers from somebody that's a cable television enthusiast. You know what I mean? Like somebody who's like, I got the 500 channel plan. That's where Jordan and I lived on television. And we don't make the cut but i think let's say we move to baker's field okay sure are you gonna have merle haggard's nasty hoofs of course his his stanky tutors sure of course you are of course you are but i think we i think we would make the

cut in baker's field for baker's field wiki feet don't you jordan i mean sure we're gonna be below you know buck owens's stanky stompers but but i mean basically we're dealing we're gonna have to compete with country music greats from the 60s and 70s his rife little taters oh my god those toenails i mean we may yeah i'm gonna be honest jordan it's possible we're we can't match the Buckaroos. Like, leave Buck Owens aside. His Buckaroos are probably more notable than us on Bakersfield WikiFeet. There's only one way to find out. There's only one way to start it and then see what happens.

Yeah. I mean, Torrance. We could move to Torrance, City of Commerce. These are WikiFeets where we would make the cut. City of Industry. Because then all we're really competing with is like nbc for weatherman fritz coleman oh yeah his name is fritz yeah well isn't there a weatherman here named dallas rain dallas rain dallas rains yeah he looks crazy as hell i love dallas rains yeah i think fritz coleman retired. Subject of Jordan, Jesse Go, Perma story. I was once in a local commercial with Fritz Coleman.

For what? Oh, just for the weather. Yes. For the weather. Just for the weather. What was your job in the commercial? I was, yes. I mean, true believers for this story,

see Jordan, Jesse Go, episodes 201, 206, 214, 217. 201 through 1400 inclusive. No, but I was a stony surfer guy asking Fritz where the best waves were. Can you say your line? No. Oh, gosh. Do I remember? Well, yes, I guess.

No. Something about swells? Yeah. Like, oh, there is Fred. I mean, Fritz was the star of the commercial. Obvious. And this guy nailed it. Fritz Coleman, he's a legend for a reason. swells yeah like oh there is fred i mean fritz was the star of the commercial obvious and this guy nailed it fritz coleman he's a legend for a reason he was great in the commercial jordan you you i mean you know we're great friends you're a great friend jordan yeah and here's the thing

about fritz constant professional stays for the reverse uh so i had someone to play off of like i had someone to play off of yeah no but yeah so fritz coleman i think is is retired oh does he i think he still does his like one-man show occasionally i think at the you know like uh so my man show uh yeah he did it on the local pbs station out here when when i was growing up i love love Chris. Tribute to Sammy Davis Jr. Yeah, it hasn't aged well. He's got pipes. But no, Dallas Rains. Dallas Rains is still out there being on TV,

having a weird name and looking crazy. Well, there did you have any... Before you moved to Los Angeles, look, you moved to Los Angeles not that long after you blew up the net

with your political satires. But did you have an opportunity before you moved to Los Angeles not that long after you blew up the net with your political satires. But did you have an opportunity before you moved to Los Angeles to do any local celebrity things? No, because I don't know if you remember the pandemic. So, yeah, they weren't really – everything was kind of shut down. I got to actually – I talked to – so our traffic guy for Atlanta, Mark Arum, he also had a radio show. So he was on our local ABC station doing the traffic and then he had a radio show and I got to call in on his radio show.

That was something. How'd that go? It was fun. Yeah. I called it on the telephone and it was great. It was, that's the thing I did. Did you like get messages from people you went to high school with and stuff? No, my stepmother is a hairdresser and one of her clients heard me on the radio.

That's what happened. Yeah. Cool. Absolutely. I've gotten messages on from people on Facebook now that I'm on Kimmel, you know, and that's been interesting. I've gotten messages from like a guy who was like, I just like to check in. He was like, I saw you on Kimmel.

It's good to see one of my exes doing so well. And like, we never dated. So that's happening. People are rewriting history. Right. So you think he's like, he's like showing people clips of you on Kimmel and goes like, yeah, the one that got away. I think so.

Yeah. And I met him twice. Like he was a friend of a friend and I love that for him. Yeah. What do you think happened in his mind? I was like, maybe he was drunk, you know, but it was like 7 p.m. his time. He still could have been drunk. I'm not judging.

He didn't get drunk anytime. Wait. Yeah. When he was watching Kimmel? Does he live in Guam or something? No, when he messaged me. When he messaged me. No, he doesn't live in Guam.

Okay. He might, though. I don't know anything about him yeah i never get on facebook anymore because i i always have messages from like somebody from my past do you guys still use facebook like regularly i use it kind of mainly for promotional stuff we have a facebook page for the show where we post episodes and some other little bits and bops but yeah i i don't i don't do any i don't do too much recreational it is it's a weird it's a weirdo place but yeah and you know i'm just fun to see

you know people's kids and updates and things like that but um but yeah it can turn terrifying really quick and my my the last time i looked at it my targeted ads were for like right wing documentaries like there was a thing for like jordan peterson had some like documentary about his opinions on pronouns and i'm like oh facebook i know i'm a 40 year old white guy and maybe that's what you're using as a you know as an indicator that i might like this but yeah it was pretty, it made me not want to look at it anymore. I'm always gratified that none of my aunts are racist. Oh. I always go on there worrying that one of my aunts might have turned racist.

And they haven't? No, they have racist friends or at least racist Facebook commenters. This could be people who believe them to be their ex, though they only met through a friend. Met two times through a friend. His name is Josh. Josh, if you're listening, we never dated. I don't know. Josh, if you're listening, call me.

I miss you. All of my targeted ads on Instagram and otherwise are for therapy, like at-home virtual therapy services. Okay. Yeah, well, I mean, that's the main ad on our show, so welcome back to Jordan. Blair, we might have a promo code for you. Don't click that ad just yet. Yeah. Love to save some money.

Thank you. So I went on KGO News Talk 810, and that was very exciting. That was my hometown media appearance. But that was like a real whirlwind. I was not used to talking with that level of conviction or velocity. Intensity might be the right word. How old were you? This was five years ago, maybe. Yeah, four years ago. And just commercial talk radio hosts, they could say anything in the same voice as there's an insurrection at the Capitol. You know what I mean? Like everything. And it's so compressed. The volume is so intense and even that it all gains the same intense urgency. And I felt like I couldn't keep up. I absolutely couldn't handle it. I was like, I'm appearing at Sketchfest.

Yeah, it was. It was sketch fest. And I, you know, I got by the time that I felt like I was a real success. And also the time that I felt like I was a real star was I went on WAMU, the NPR station in Washington, DC. And I got to go on with Kojo Nnamdi, who's like the legendary local host on WAMU. And he was really nice to me. And he thanked me for coming and shook my hand and made eye contact with me. And I felt like such a fucking hero. And like everybody texted me. Like, I heard you on Kojo Nam. Were you on with Kojo? Like, this guy's a fucking legend. And I'm like, wait a minute.

I'm a fucking national host. This guy's local. I'm supposed to be big- wait a minute. I'm a fucking national host. This guy's local. I'm supposed to be big timing him. He's big timing me. People are pure. Oh, Kojo. Kojo Nandi. He was so nice.

People get attached to those local heroes. They're local. He did a great job. I did fine. I got attached to, speaking of radio, not local, but Delilah. I love Delilah. Delilah hosts like a late night dedication show. Yeah. Yeah. Like a syndicated sort of, so I would listen to it on my shower radio

in the shower when I was a child and I loved Delilah. And Louis was saying, Louis Vertel, the other day we were talking about Delilah and she had like three songs that she, it seemed like looking back, she knew three songs, like Cats in in the cradle was one of them and then like you know hero by mariah carey and then just one other song and she would make them fit somehow delilah ah this is john and chatsworth i just want to dedicate cats in the cradle to my shitty dad do you know yeah blair do you know like this is this is one of those like funny like kid fixations do you know like where it came from what did your like parents listen to it can you guess why you got into this very specific grown-up radio show yeah yeah oh so much of my life is like very specific mentally like things middle-aged people would love i don't know i think

it's that i lived in the middle of nowhere and yeah. So we didn't have a lot of radio stations that came through very clearly. And she was on Z93.7 and that was one of them. And I think I must've just been going between the three that I listened to and I loved her voice and I love love. And that's something everyone knows about me. Oh, interesting. Interesting. everyone knows about me oh interesting interesting i love me me and boros i wrote to delilah once because i was going through a breakup my boyfriend curtis had broken up with me over a text and she wrote me back oh what did you say yeah she told me i don't remember exactly my mom has a letter somewhere in her attic she said to fuck myself yeah you little bitch uh no she said that i would have many loves of my life i remember that said that I would have many loves of my life.

I remember that line, that I would have many loves of my life and that things are going to be okay. We should all be so lucky. And then she played Cass in the cradle. The loves were Curtis, your husband, and Josh? And Josh, Josh Anderson, my, my famous famously, my ex boyfriend. I have a, I have a local media goal that I think is, I think I could put some effort into making happen, but I think it's probably not worth the effort. So I am, uh,

I'm going to do Comic-Con this year and every year at Comic-Con, you know, something I like to do is like, if I'm staying in a hotel, like, turn on the local news and watch the, like, local news stand-ups at Comic-Con. Like, San Diego news, just, like, every, you know, everybody's got to be there. And it's always kind of that tone of, like, we don't understand what this is. like it's that like a bunch of fans and geeks are out in full force at the san diego convention center celebrating their favorite funny books it's always just like you know what's this like they're confused by it even though it happens every year tome cruz is here to promote something called top gun the snack bar is selling something called nachos and it's like and that's fun like i understand like why that anyway and i i always like i always

kind of like getting dressed and getting ready and kind of watching these like local news goof scoof around at comic-con yeah do you think if i like got up early and found the van, I could I could like be the be the person they're interviewing at the stand up in front of the convention? I I think I can make that happen. Right. Like, do you have to arrange that beforehand or do you just like find the van, hang around and like tell whoever has a clipboard that you're like ready to be interviewed? Can I ask you a question about this? Sure. Are you willing to dress as She hulk you gotta be i don't know that i got the gams for it i don't think you're yoked she's got that pencil skirt i mean i would listen i would love to be in

she hulk shape i'm not and i got a little while i mean obviously we're taping this on father's day so i got about a month so i can try and get in she hulk shape yeah could just get just hire one of those personal trainers who specializes in hulking out right a fitbit oh yeah get a fitbit perfect blair you're exactly right this thing counts your steps yeah i'll just type i'll just get a fitbit and i'll type in how many steps to she hulk sounds like a book yeah oh yeah your memoir how many steps to she hulk how i got yoked in time for comic my jordan morris i mean i would i think that you know like i could excite them or say oh i'm a i'm a i'm a comic book author comic book author, and I could bring the book with me. And I'm like, I could hold up the book and talk. But maybe that's not what they want.

I think they just want someone dressed as Deadpool who's going to do a flip. If either of you could be, obviously, the three of us, well, Jordan and I are national non-celebrities. Claire, you're a national semi-celebrity. That means a lot. Thank you. You're welcome. and I are national non-celebrities. Claire, you're a national semi-celebrity. That means a lot. Thank you. You're welcome. But if you could trade that national minor to non-celebrity for local semi to medium celebrity, what local celebrity would you like to be?

Oh, man. I mean, the like hours aside, I think like morning radio guy would be a really fun job. I think it would be awesome. And yeah, I love that kind of like I'm showing up, you know, I'm showing up the like pig race or the pie eating contest or something. I would love I would love to do that. Maybe it can still happen for me. I don't know if there's a I don't think it's too late. I don't think so. It could happen if there's a market that will have me please please reach out my four weeks on the Sarah and no name show on Alice FM in San Francisco as a an unpaid intern who had to get up at 3 o'clock in the morning. I'll tell you that the one thing I learned, besides don't make eye contact with Sarah,

which was one of the rules, was it's just hard to have enough things to talk about that anyone – like, Jordan, you and I are stretched to go past 15 minutes on this show once a week. You know what I mean? And to generate three or four hours of thoughts about Survivor is a truly special skill that I know I don't have. I mean, I could just like, ideally, if there's a lull in conversation, my cats and I shot going nanner crazy. I could just describe it. Yeah, sure. i can understand that

blair do you have one off the dome do you have a local celebrity you'd like to be yeah i would say i mean close to yours i i like the the girls on the news who not the first hour of like serious news but the women who come after like the local news program there's like an hour of like sort of like you know kathy lee and h but local, local. I want to be one of those. I love I got a radio DJ, Mara Davis from Atlanta. She was my favorite. And she was on Dave FM. I don't know if anyone's familiar with Dave was the best and then it got bought out by like a sports radio station. So, you know, clear channel sports, all that good stuff. But yeah. Did she head off to another market? Yeah, she's doing she's still in Atlanta doing stuff. She did some she's doing like some PR stuff, I believe. And yeah, not on radio anymore, though. Unfortunately, she's got a podcast. She's the best. I'd also like to be I used to want to be a QVC host, but that's more that's not local. And then I did work for an at home shopping shopping network but it was just for jewelry it was called the gem shopping network it was in duluth georgia but we were broadcast nationally nobody watched us

i was a hand model for four years yeah i found that job on craigslist yeah so wait you're on georgia on wiki hands yeah that's perfect that's a callback wait is that blair now let me know what you think it's a callback is it a take a break i think that's a take do wait is that blair now let me know what you think it's a callback is it a take a break i think that's a take do you think we should take a break let's take a break let's take a break we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Our program, just like all the shows at Maximum Fun, is supported by the members of Maximum Fun. So our thank you to everybody who's gone to MaximumFun.org slash join. Your membership is what makes our show possible. We're very grateful to you. When you choose Jordan Jesse, go on that list of shows you listen to. That's where your money goes, and we say thank you. We're also thankful this week to our sponsor, BetterHelp. In fact, now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. Now, Jordan, you and I are big supporters of therapy. You know that.

I head to that office on Raymond in Pasadena all the time. I'm not trying to dox my therapist, but she's got an office right there in Old Town. It's nice. It's convenient. I can go down to the – anytime I want, I can go down to the Cheesecake Factory down there. Old Town Pasadena is beautiful. Yeah. There's one of those high-end stereo stores if I need to get my turntable tuned up. Grab a new woofer. And you know what? If I need my brain tuned up, I go to therapy. I think that's

something that our audience should consider. Whether they're having major mental health issues or just need somebody to talk to, therapy is worth doing. There are a lot of different ways to get therapy, obviously. One of them is BetterHelp, which is online therapy with video phone and even live chat only therapy sessions. So however, whatever medium is best for you to get your therapy, BetterHelp can help you and you can get a therapist quickly through BetterHelp, which is tough these days since everybody's brain is broken. Yeah, and BetterHelp can be a great option. It could be more affordable than in-person therapy and you can get matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. That's pretty quick.

Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash JJGo. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-h-e-l-p dot com slash jjgo. We're also supported this week by the folks at Lumi Labs Microdose Gummies. Are you sick and tired of macrodoses? So you've probably heard about microdosing. If not, just know that all sorts of people are microdosing daily to feel healthier and perform better. Jesse, I got some gummies from Lumi Labs. These things are great. They deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good.

Jesse, as the King of Drugs, you know that oftentimes edibles can be unpredictable. You don't know how much you're getting. Sometimes you get too much. Sometimes you don't get enough. But Lumi Labs gummies really deliver just the perfect amount of THC to help you chill out. I took one before bed. Slept like a baby. I took one before bed. Slept like a baby.

I took one this afternoon and just had a little walk around and felt terrific. Can I confirm that you slept like a baby? I took a look at you while you were sleeping. Through the nanny cam. Went into your bedroom.

Took a look at you and you just looked beatific. Just gorgeous. You had a glow on you that can only be uh that can only be achieved with just the right amount of thc and they're tasty too they come in great flavors do you have a favorite flavor i got the wild berry micro dose uh this is just a little bit of thc uh really makes you feel terrific but not like a weird couch puddle. And I am also anxious to try the watermelon sorbet.

And these deliver a more traditional high. And everything's really well labeled. You can tell how much you're getting. The micro doses are a little more chill. And the other ones are, well, let's just say a more traditional high. You know that I believe in nothing if not tradition. You're a traditionalist through and through. Yeah.

You know I did it. A constitutional originalist. I did a cotillion. I was presented at a cotillion, and I believe in a less chill, more traditional high. Microdose is available nationwide. To learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use JJGO to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description. But again, that's microdose.com.

Use code JJGO. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Moore's boy detective. I'm Blair Erskine, semi-Wikifeet celebrity. Okay, we have a Wikifeet update. In the break, we have taken a look at Blair Erskine's Wikifeet page. Well, now I've navigated away from it because I wanted to see who were the feet of the year for 2021. We have to know.

It was Anna de Armas and Nyle Kafer? Anna de Armas is my mortal enemy. Really? Again, yeah. Why is that? It's always me and her. We're always neck and neck. She was up for the Kimmel job?

Butt and foot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you beat her out for the Kimmel job. And she beat me out for the top WikiFeet celebrity. That really sucks. I'll tell you this. I went to your WikiFeet profile here, Blair. Good for you.

The pictures are impressively flattering. They're nice pictures of you looking nice. Thank you. Except for one where you're in the tub, and I'm pretty sure it's just a picture of, like, when you posted it on your Instagram stories or whatever. It was probably about whatever gave you this giant calf bruise. Oh, yes. Yeah. And I don't know what gave me that bruise, but it giant calf bruise. Oh, yes. Yeah. And I don't know what gave me that bruise, but it's big.

Yeah. It's big. It's a honker. Yeah. They saw a toe in there. Yeah. It just so happens that your tootsies are in there. Yeah.

They always are. There's one comment here from user Toey4toes, who, by the way, rated you five stars. So it's not. Thank you, Toey4toes. Yeah, the comment just says, great parking. Easy parking, it says. Good service. He thought this was Yelp.

Yeah, he thought this was Yelp. Great for groups. Great for groups. Couldn't make a reservation. Had to wait. But the comment says, beautiful feet. Can anyone confirm 10 toes? Just curious about symmetry.

Thanks. Wow. So do you think Toe-Toe-Toe has been in Toe-Toe-Toe Junior Shabadoo? Do you think he's been disappointed he's been burned before and i'm assuming i'm assuming he here i'll i don't know if you know who knows i'm assuming he you think toey toto has been burned you know he's on there he's he's cranking it to some you know juicy jumpers. Some slick little ankle flaps.

And then he notices that, you know, Kate Winslet or whoever has been in some sort of industrial accident and has lost a toe. Oh my, well, calm down. Why Kate Winslet? I was just thinking of someone who works in a factory, who's both worked in a factory and probably is on wiki feet. And then that just kind of ruins it for him because he's a symmetry guy. This is kind of what I'm thinking, guys.

The username is Toey4toes. I immediately assumed when I saw that that it was that the numeral four there was a stand in for F.O.R. It was just a fun way to spell like a license plate way to spell F.O.R. But maybe he has. But this person could be a four toed celebrity enthusiast. So would it be better for me then i'm just thinking of like optics if like right gotta think about optics so what would be best for me because i can cut off a toe do you have a foot publicist not yet mara davis if you're listening i would check in

with mara um she's doing some publicity work these days check in with mara and and see if she's got any advice on whether to on whether to chop because the thing is there are a lot of consumers out there who are curious about symmetry and i get that the thing is i do have four toes but i also have five toes okay so. So you have four toes in the same sense that I have seven toes. Exactly. Right. Yeah. And in the same sense that Jordan has nine.

Like we have any, I've got all the toes. You know, any number of toes. We all contain multi-toes, right? Our producer Brian has four toes total. Just two like cloven hooves. Wow. Does he have a, do you have a tail? Does he have a tail as well?

I'm saying maybe he's the devil. That would explain a lot. It's possible he's the devil. He's definitely not kosher. That much we know. The cloven hoof. Also, again, I'd like to go just back really quick before we we have calls to get to i'd like to return really quick to the sacred space as i was mentioning earlier

the sacred space between you know when we all jump on the zoom call and and when the recording starts in this case it's you know between the break and just i think it bears pointing out that before we started val who's running the stream said we can get started as soon as the cat gets off the keyboard. I guess Val's cat was on the keyboard. And basically in 0.5 seconds, Blair started singing Cats on the Keyboard to the tune of Cats in the Cradle. Cats on the Keyboard.

That's what I did. That's what Blair's one-woman show is going to be a tribute to Harry Chapin. Oh, Harry Chapin. I said Cat Stevens sang that song. I think that's probably like a common confusion. Yeah. I think it's like how Jimmy Buffett didn't write the Pina Colada song.

What? Yeah. Who did? The guy that sings it. That's not Jimmy Buffett. It's not Jimmy Buffett. Rupert Holmes, I believe is the guy's name. One Hit Wonder. No, that's the new James Bond. Rupert Holmes. I think. i don't know harry chapin harry chapin's okay interesting anyway kate winslet is the new james bond because they want

to give it an industrial edge with her nine toes yeah with her nine toes and her knowledge of smelting diversity representation thank you yes finally a james bond that looks like me a man who's been in a thresher accident oh my god brian i think we have some calls and i think you mentioned that these are something that we we asked for a request we made for people who have called in momentous occasions and now have an update on those momentous occasions yeah we want to be clear that we don't want when we say that these are calls about things that have happened in the past on the program we don't want feedback like we don't want to know what you think of our show no that's the last thing we want. We realize it's bad.

We're here doing the show. We don't need you to hear the show when we're doing it. About it. Now, do you have some feedback? Do you have some feedback on our honking tonkers? Yeah. Some feedback. Thank you. Some feedback.

Feedback. Sure. on our saucy stampers send that to brian he needs something to crank it too oh god don't we all brian play this play this call here hey there jordan jesse and guest this is paul from portland oregon calling in with a momentous occasion, maybe kind of a meta momentous occasion. So yesterday evening, I was really excited to see a new episode of JJ Go pop up my feed with none other than the Gordon Ramsay of Fast Food himself, Bill Oakley. And well, a few minutes into the episode, I realized that you guys were kind of indirectly talking about me because I am that person who picked up the Arby's smoked meat sweatsuit from Bill a few months ago.

I mean, I wasn't like on the lookout for a novelty Arby's item that can overwhelm your senses or anything. But I guess sometimes those things just find you. Bill was not underselling how pungent that item is. I briefly opened the bag and the box that he put it in when I got home with it and it was so strong that I immediately wrapped it back up and kind of put it aside. I haven't really had the courage to wear it anywhere just yet but I just checked on it and I guess I'm happy to report that it doesn't seem to have lost any of its smell. I'm not really one for setting goals, but I'm going to see if I can take it out for a spin sometime soon. I guess I'm sort of nervous that I might attract some stairs

or like neighborhood dogs, but I also feel a little bit guilty that I've kind of kept it boxed up for so long since getting it from Bill, who was so gracious and generous to give it away. Anyway, love the show. Love you guys. Thanks a lot. Love you too. I have to be frank with you guys. When he said that he had heard himself discussed on Jordan, Jesse go, I got excited.

I thought we were getting a call from grillo the humanoid pickle i was very disappointed not to i do have an idea though for where he could wear this thing to okay get to burbank go to the smokehouse baby there you go there's always an answer in burbank no matter what your question is there always an answer in Burbank. No matter what your question is, there's an answer in Burbank, California. Blair, this call is in regard to past guest Bill Oakley getting a free Arby's sweatsuit because he posts so much about fast food. Have you gotten any good freebies from your work and show business? The only brand that's ever reached out to me have been two of them and they're

both catch free brands. Yeah. Cat treats. Cat treats. I have some Bobby Flay cat treats on the way. Actually. He has a new cat treat coming out and his people reached out to mine. They're giving me cat treats and they said,

I don't even have to post about it. Actually. They said, we'd prefer that you did it, but we're sending you some cat treats yeah they said we have a reputation to maintain exactly i didn't know you were a cat owner i have three cats oh i have a cat named oscar actually so jesse we have that you have a child named oscar yeah it's the same it's the same my cat is 20 pounds if i had a cat

if i had a cat os, maybe he would bring me a real gift for Father's Day, like a fucking dead mouse or whatever. Something I can use. Not my Oscar. That's amazing. Does Oscar ever go nanner crazy or crazy for any other kind of catnip toy? He doesn't really do toys. He does my

shoes. You know what? Not to bring it back to feet. He goes crazy for my shoes though. Oh, QT. Actually, my husband. I'm sorry. He does my shoes. You know what? Not to bring it back to feet. He goes crazy for my shoes, though. Oh, QT. Actually, my husband. I'm sorry to bring up my husband again. He did reach out. QT, the gas station, did see me. They sent me a Christmas sweater and a bunch of snacks.

Yeah, for Christmas. I thought when you said QT, you were talking about Quentin Tarantino. And it was another thing. Blair, I got to have you in my next movie. It's my chance. I was browsing on a casting website it makes sense blair that your fucking cat goes ape shit for your shoes they're made out of fucking fruit roll-ups that's oh god and now i'm hungry fruit roll-up whenever that's made out of i know it's made out of fruit, but it's something else, too. Something kind of tough.

It is something else. You're right. It is something else. Hard sugar. I never got fruit roll-ups. All I got was fruit leathers. Shove it at the goddamn natural food store because it was closer to our house and we didn't have a car. I'm sorry.

Blair, did you, with that Shark Tank deal that you were envisioning, did you have a dream shark that you wanted to go in with? Yes. My dream shark was Barbara because this was before, what's her name? The new one that owns QVC? Laurie. Oh, Laurie. Yeah, the queen of QVC. Yeah.

This was before she joined. So I think Barbara. I needed a gal, you know, a gal who gets it. You got to have a gal who gets it. Got to have a gal who gets it. So, yeah, I'd say Barbara. I just,

you know, Mark Cuban though, if you're listening, I have the idea is still on the table. I've looked at it. I don't think anyone's made them yet. Mark, get some custom fruit roll of flip-flops for the Mavs.

Oh yeah. Now we're talking. Get Mavs legend, Dirk Nowitzki into some of those flappies. Get a size 42 for Dirk. Have him drop a few trays from beyond the line. Get him some of those fruity flappies. Fruity flappies.

Fruit flaps. Yeah. Send him down to the beach to shoot some trays and you're rich. I'll keep you guys updated brian we got another column there hi uh just listening to you discussing defunct social media websites and wondering what is going on on them um i am still an active user on tumblr where the big to do this week was um an ad featuring a man dressed as pikachu but it's kind of a horrifying Pikachu costume. It doesn't quite look like the Pokemon, more just like a monster person.

And because nobody pays for ads on the website on Tumblr. It's just this ad over and over again, and people are horrified to see Pikachu Man over and over and over again. I guess it's also a moment of shame that I'm a 30-something man who still actively updates the Tumblr. Okay, bye. I'm going to take a look at this. Yeah, Brian has thrown this ad up in the chat yeah this is unsettling it is a yeah it's a pikachu that has a human face but the face is a mask the mask is wearing glasses and the photo is taken in such a way to where the you know the holes in the mask where the eyes should be are just dark black holes.

Yeah. It looks like, you know, there's this horror movie. My daughter told me about this horror movie because Winnie the Pooh passed into the public domain and they're making a horror movie of Winnie the Pooh. Oh, I heard about that. It's genuinely like I looked at the, you know you know pre-show pre-film stills that got released it's genuinely distressing looking it's called winnie the pooh blood and honey i believe and uh that's what this pikachu looks like this looks like pikachu you know, I choo-choo-choose you. He passed into the public domain and then A24 got a hold of him.

Oh, God. Yeah, this is the fucking, the Northman guy made a movie about Pikachu. Right, yes, this is an elevated horror Pikachu. The glasses are a choice and it looks like he's got,'s i can't tell that's a bag he's carrying on his shoulder if he's wearing some sort of like jumpsuit yeah what do you guys think uh i think yeah i think it is a bag filled with teeth that he's collected human teeth yeah that seems right to me seems like they're probably some um some human teeth there might be some elk teeth mixed in there so like half and half or 60 40 this is weird because yeah after we we've we

discussed this on the show at blair for you this was this was us kind of wondering out loud kind of what had become of these social media platforms of the past so you don't hear too much about anymore your tumblers zanga like zanga yes ello these sorts of things jordan ello is a pop rock band it's pronounced yellow oh excuse me yeah saying mr blue sky and so after this after we had this discussion on the show you know my menchies were blown up with people telling me and i was saying that i what i thought was that tumblr was for porno was that that had become its use and i guess my menchies were flooded with people telling me that indeed tumblr has banned porn but um this picture says otherwise yeah i mean when your caller first said tumblr i and i wrote it down i thought he said Cumbler and I wrote it down.

I was horrified. But that's also if you want to do porn and you like Tumblr's, you know, platform, maybe if you're an entrepreneur. Yeah. Yeah. I'm an entrepreneur. Mark Cumbler. 1.5 billion for 5% equity. We have an idea

Hi Sharks, did all your porno get taken down off Tumblr? Do you need to come? Do you need to come but can't find any man Pikachu gifts? Tumblr Blair, I think our audience might think that that was figurative When you said that you had written down Cumbler. Yes. You did write it down on what appeared to be a sticky note.

I did. Yes. Was that for reference for later? I didn't want to forget. I didn't want to forget. Cumbler. Whenever I do podcasts, I do take notes just because if something comes to mind and I'm like, I want to mention that. My brain's at capacity, unfortunately unfortunately it doesn't retain things anymore

so i've written things down have you guys by the way ever had a mississippi cumbler that's like mary marion berries with a with a biscuit dough on top it sounds really good really good what really good it's called a mississippi cumbler it's marion berries with a biscuit dough on top you get it down at the fire station they're having a fundraiser they're having a fundraiser it's in your pants after you eat it after you're in your pants after you see those hunky firemen making those cumblers oh yeah oh my god a mississippi cumbler yeah sure why not why not why the fuck not you know i don't give a shit who cares it's got to say 80 minutes worth of stuff podcast is over

grace jordan wants to do this on a morning show four hours a day you get five you can't say cumbler and morning i could radio i could stretch this out if we were talking about the bachelor yeah it's true i love the bachelor you're a bat you're part of bachelor nation unfortunately i am i started my twitter i was whenever i first got a twitter i signed up for twitter in like 2017 2018 i was pretending to be a contestant on the bachelor who did not have a Twitter presence. And I was, I guess, catfishing people. But I got a bunch of followers that way. Yeah, 5,000. And then I pulled a fast one on him and I changed it to my name in 2020. And here we are. Here we are. Some might say that catfishing is why we're here today.

One of those 5,000 followers, Mr. James Kimmel. The American dream. That, Frank, is the reason why we're talking about coming in our pants right here. Mr. James Kimmel. The American dream. That, Frank, is the reason why we're talking about cumming in our pants right here. This is exactly where I thought I'd be at 30 years old, talking about Mississippi cumblers. Guys, if you know the difference between a crumble, a pie, and a cumbler...

Are you talking about cobblers? I think so. Cobbler, a crumble, a pie. I don't know. What's the thing where you put fruit in a thing, and you cook it down, but you put islands of batter in it, and the batter goes to the bottom but then when it cooks it floats up i think it's a it cannot be a cumbler do you are you looking are you joking is this a bit that

you're doing or do you believe it's a cumbler no i don't believe that it's a cumbler but that is a type of all my only premise there was just that there every area has its own type of fruit lazy pot yes yes everywhere i go someone's doing a fucking bit i'm just sick of it just i'm sick of it you know what i've been nothing but honest why don't we just talk why don't we just talk honestly why don't we just go there? Blair, if you want sincerity, you should have gone down to the volunteer fire station. I was there when I got your call that you needed a guest and it was an emergency. And I ran as fast as I could to my home office.

That's why that apartment building burned down. Jordan, did you get a goddamn emergency services radio? Do I need one? Did you get one? Is services radio? Do I need one? Did you get one? Is that how we get our guests now? Yeah, I have a CB too. Oh, shit. Man, there's somebody by my house that has one of those gigantic amateur radio antennas. And I initially assumed it to be just like just like a 65 year old former radio shack employee

you know what i mean just like a classic hobbyist you know going down there to burbank to the ham radio store and sure fine talking to somebody in czechoslovakia and all that kind of thing but it's possible that that's like the new you know axe throwing at a bar you know what i mean this is the new fucking we're we're too old we don't know about the new hipster shit maybe the new hipster ship shit is artisanal shortwave starting a little radio show yeah probably so i think it's two-way though you talk to a guy in czechosakia. Sure. The main thing, right? Yeah. Talk to a Czech.

Oh, boy. That's when you know the neighborhood's going downhills when all the shortwave radio enthusiasts and the poke places are going to come in. Have you ever had this problem, Jordan? You're on your two-way radio, your amateur radio, and you think you've got a a check on the line it's a goddamn slovak you know story of my life yeah classic problem okay 206-9844-FUN or jjgoatmaximumfun.org hey how about this jordan remember how we led into that whole segment by saying that it was people calling in about their past momentous occasions, but it turned out to just be general updates?

Yes. Because we made some assumptions. We did make some assumptions. That was not true. Yeah, it turned out not to be true, but we do want that, so give us a call. We do want that. 206-9844-FUN, or hit us with a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org. You got an iPad, you got a smartphone. You got a Motorola Razr.

It's got a voice memo in there. Record it. A Nook. I bet a Nook would do it. Oh, a Nook. I bet a Nook would do it. You got a, what do you got there? A Palm Pilot?

Mm-hmm. Palm Pilot color. You got an Atari Lynx. You got a Lynx. That'll do it. You got a Wizard personal organizer sega nomad drop it into that 64k and send it along baby how many fucking phone numbers do you need to save asshole use the space for voice memos and send it to us give us a call general momentous occasions we

always love those if you have an update to a momentous occasion give us a call has your thruple added people yeah that's primarily i think what we're looking for let us know and uh yeah and if you're out there and if you're a ideally this would be a professional baker who works you know professionally in baking but you know a home baking enthusiast you know would do what's a cumbler yeah give know, would do. What's a cumbler? Give us a call. Create a recipe for a cumbler. Send us the recipe. Let us know. It'll be our signature dessert.

We're going to have a signature dessert. It's going to be called the cumbler, but we don't know what it is. The Mississippi cumbler, Jordan. Mississippi cumbler. Yeah. Use native fruit if you can. It also sounds like an apparatus you can use to, you know, shake up your cum. Yeah. Like if you're also sounds like a an apparatus you can use to you know shake up your cum yeah like if you're cum on the rocks oh like if you're making a cocktail i had it i had it as

like if it's in a test tube in a lab you know that machine that shakes things oh i'm thinking of uh the home depot when you're buying paint and i I was thinking of Cat Stevens. Okay. 206-9844-FUN. Rupert Holmes. Or JJGoAtMaximumFun.org. You know, the longer we go on this episode, Jordan, the more I think we could do morning radio. Why not? Yeah.

Why the fuck not? What if we were just moving and now we're- Three more hours. Yeah. It's got to pay better than this. JJGoAtMaximumFun.org. 206-9844-4FUN. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, go.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hal Laplin here with breaking news on a revolutionary form of entertainment, professional wrestling. For more, we go to our correspondent, Danielle Radford. Professional wrestling is the craze that's sweeping the nation featuring fisticuffs and colorful costumes but who can help us make sense of this world of body slams lindsey kelk has the answer sources tell us of an amazing podcast called tights and fights filled with discussions of the absurdity of professional

wrestling plus all the sincerity and hilarity that you could shake a stick at. Listen to the Tights and Fights podcast every week. Find it on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. And your old-timey radio. Hey there, I'm Ellen Weatherford. And I'm Christian Weatherford. And we've got big feelings about animals that we just got to share. On Just the Zoo of Us, your new favorite animal review podcast,

we're here to critically evaluate how each animal excels and how it doesn't, rating them out of 10 on their effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics. Guest experts give you their takes informed by actual real-life experiences studying and working with very cool animals like sharks, cheetahs, and sea turtles. It's a field trip to the zoo for your ears. So if you or your kids have ever wondered if a pigeon can count, why sloths move so slow, or how a spider sees the world, find out with us every Wednesdaynesday on just the zoo of us

in its natural habitat on maximumfun.org listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. And Blairiskin, semi-WikiFeet celebrity, I think. Art LeBeau is the local celebrity I want to be. You know Art LeBeau, right, Jordan? You're a Southern Californian. Rings a bell. I think he recently passed away. He definitely retired about five years ago when he was like 84 or something like that. But for like 40 years, he hosted the late night dedication show on a pop station here.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like – it's sort of – in like 1980, it kind of locked into low rider oldies and never changed. Right. And so, I mean, that's my dream, just to play- Rock and roll gangster once an hour. Oh, God, I would love to play rock and roll gangster. Oh, what a great tune. Yeah, Lowrider Oldies. The other day, I was driving my Volvo station wagon, and I just said,

hey, Siri, play Lowrider Oldies. And I played a compilation of Lowrider Oldies. It was great. It was tremendous. What was great about it was that some of the Lowrider Oldies were from 1996, and they just had been composed for this album of Lowrider Oldies. It was great. Loved every moment of it. I was using Pandora on my TV not too long ago. You put in a song, creates a little playlist for you, and then it flashes the album covers. And I had put in some song that was kind of adjacent to that. It wasn't rock and roll gangster, but maybe it was cameo or something. And so finds the finds the algorithm and play songs similar to that. And I was getting a nice little drip of those types of songs, but it was pulling them from low writer compilations.

So all the album art it was flashing on screen was like women in thongs with huge butts. Great. Nice little bonus. Sorry, like pachucos in their drapes. This is all wide tanks little treat yeah i was driving to the flea market this morning and i saw a poster for a concert that was joe batan and the delphonics and i truly came close to canceling this recording so that I could go see this Lowrider Oldie concert and just be this one 40-year-old white guy in a sea of 65-year-old car guys. Latino car guys. God, I would love that. That's the life I want.

Just to outline my lipstick. Well, you're here. Blair and I would have had a great time by ourselves. Yeah. We wouldn't have gotten the cumbler. That's true. That's true. I think we would have gotten there.

It's like a monkey on a keyboard. No one has identified what the cumbler is actually called. It might be called a brickle. I don't know. I couldn't tell you. It's not a regular. It has a funny name. I think it's texas and it's usually made with strawberries okay that's all that's all i just somebody knows what it's called but they're not in the chat so we're fucked blair erskine is on

twitter at blair erskine where she posts her genuinely fantastically hilarious satirical videos not always but often political if there is a Karen in the news Blair Erskine is there to give them the business and other things Blair is so fucking funny uh her videos are so fucking funny and of course she works on the Jimmy Kimmel program along with past guest Louis Vertel. Yes. And Jesse Joyce. Jesse Joyce, Brian Cook. Jesse Joyce, Brian Cook.

A lot of former JJ Go guests working on that thing. The best guys. I love those dudes. Sometimes guys are okay. Yeah. Sometimes you're looking for four toes on wiki feet. And that's okay, too. You know what feet and that's okay too you know and that's okay we don't listen if you joey if you're listening if you're out there cranking it to a bunch of meaty mashers can i tell you that is okay we love it as long as you're blasting

i knew that there would be photographs on wikifeet so i don't want to be disingenuous here but i had never visited wikifeet because i'm a different kind of nasty freak and i never visited wikifeet and i was disappointed there was no text in my mind it was like wikipedia where there was a lot of context for the photographs right and then it's just like one blurry photograph taken at a con or whatever sure why did they stop at fee why isn't it wikipedia yeah that's a really good point blair huh it's like right there it's right there yeah god damn it well i've got to fix it you know what i'll be doing for the rest of the evening anyone can fix it anyone writing my congressman right now anyone could edit it though so that's true

it's also true uh brian sunny d fernandez is our producer valerie moffitt is on the stream if you want to watch the show live you can if you subscribe to the max fun youtube channel by the way coming up on the max fun youtube channel j Jordan? An entire live Jordan Jesse Go performance for MaxFunCon. Oh my gosh. Yes, that's right. Who were our guests on that program? Matt Ricardo, Kim Clark.

Who else? Oh, J.J. Go legend Chris Fairbanks, of course. Blaine Cardoza. That's a Casper Hauser character, Jordan. Blaine Capac. Blaine Capac. No, Blaine Kapach. Blaine Kapach. No, Blaine wasn't. Blaine didn't make it on camera?

No. Oh, Ben Harrison. We had Ben Harrison on there. Yeah, the gang from Maximum Film. Really, really fun live show for MaxFunCon. And if you want to look at that while you listen to that, Maximum Fun, the YouTube channel. Yeah, go subscribe to that shit. Don't fucking miss it, dude.

Come on, lady. Get your act together. Come on, person with a different gender identity. Subscribe to the Max Fun YouTube channel. Don't fuck this up for yourself. A lot of people think only dudes can fuck this up for themselves, but... Everyone can fuck it up. Anyone can.

It doesn't really matter what your gender identity is when it comes to fucking this up for yourself by not subscribing to the max fun youtube channel yeah you're all a bunch of losers all of you you're all losers oh jordan it's it's funny because we're the losers they're all winners they're all doing things with their lives 206-9844-FUN. JJ, go at MaximumFun.org. You can chat about this show on Reddit at MaximumFun.reddit.com. You can like us on Facebook where we post new shows. And, you know, we'll probably post this picture of this weird fucking creepy vacant-eyed Pikachu that Jordan wants to bone. I mean, I also want to love it. Why is it just about boning? I also want to fall in love with it okay there could be some snuggles in there too yeah and maybe we're just like i

don't know binge watch bridgerton or something there are many types of intimacy one of them has been watching bridgerton who knows maybe? Maybe you'll binge watch House of Cards, the original binge. Sure. Yeah. That probably holds up, right? Yes, I'm sure in 2022, watching House of Cards is more fun than ever. Nothing has turned sour there. Yes.

Then we'll do all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. there yes then we'll do all the pirates of the caribbean movies the pirates of the caribbean movies those are about like democracy falling apart right uh i don't know that's why we got to watch them no they weren't probably just house of cards yeah you know what we're classy let's binge borgen let's all watch borgen what's borgen borgen is a northern european political intrigue show that guy branham likes oh and kurt anderson the smartest past guests in the history of jordan jesse go like borgen we should just be watching borgen why aren't you look watching borgen whatever your fucking gender identity is don't fuck this up for yourself turn this off and watch borgen

jesse these losers have had enough is it available here yeah borgen yeah borgen watch borgen blair i don't know i'm dying thinking about someone like waking up from a coma and watching house of cards and being like what's kevin spacey up to lately and googling it oh no it's great oh no why isn't anyone casting him anymore oh he's only in direct to video action movies made in europe okay that's all i think uh our theme music love you by the free design courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records sorry sarah from sarah and no name i don't mean to throw you under the bus you always did a great job hosting the show would have been a hassle if the interns were always trying to talk to you when you were prepping for the show. Nope, you waited too long.

You waited too long. She hates you already. No. I understand why you fired No Name and rehired Vinny. It's because everybody loved Vinny and no one knows why Vinny left in the first place. But then when you brought him back, it was really nice because everybody loved Sarah and Vinny. Too little, too late, Jesse. Too little, too late.

I don't like Sarah. You don't like Sarah? How do you feel about No Name? really nice because everybody loved Sarah and Vinny and they were a little too late, Jesse, too little, too late. Not that into no name. You don't like Sarah? How do you feel about no name? Um, I'm, I, I'm team no name. Okay. Sarah was cooler than no name. You should know that. Well, she wouldn't let you look her in the eye.

That's true. I wrote it down. It was very early in the morning. I was having a hard time lifting my eyeballs anyway. I just wrote down cumbler. Blair, are you cumbler illiterate you can only write the word cumbler i just write cumbler over and over again it's like jack is a doll boy it's just cumbler we'll talk to you next time on jordan jesse go i'll hug you and kiss you and love you love you love you love you love you

love you love you love you maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported