Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 745: Sex Monocle with Damian Abraham

Episode Date: July 8, 2022

Damian Abraham (Fucked Up, Turned Out a Punk pod) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jordan's new theme for the summer, the two punk bands named Gob, Damian's unreal record collection, and how Damian's kids rebel with a punk rock dad. Check out Fucked Up on tour!And check out Damian's podcast Turned Out a Punk!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Goh, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Yeah, what's up? Hey Jesse. Yeah, what's up? What's up, Jordan?

Have you checked on Ken Masters? I'm sorry? Ken Masters from Street Fighter. Friend of Ryu. Master of the Hadouken. Is that the yoga guy whose arms stretch out? No, that's Dhalsim you're thinking of. Dhalsim is fine.

I have checked on him. Okay, thank goodness. He's doing great. Having a great summer. I haven't heard from him in so long. I'm like like pick up the phone buddy it honestly doesn't matter where in the room it is like oh and it doesn't have to be a call it can be a text it can be an email uh you know dm me my dms are open what's going on with

kevin so i don't know how up on you know what's going on in the street fighter universe you are you are how up on it i mean i think I think we just learned how up I am. I'm really on top of it. Everybody from Ken Masters to the yoga guy with the stretchy arms to the lady. Yeah. Do you want to do two more and then I'll continue? Well, there's that big green guy. Yeah, yeah.

I'm out. I'm tapped out. No green guy. Yeah, yeah. I'm out. I'm tapped out. No, no, no. You've proven your point. You are up on this stuff. So there's a new Street Fighter. And you know, Jesse, you know this. And longtime listeners know this.

I love the Street Fighter series. I love fighting games in general. You throw the Street Fighter arcade console into the back of your pickup. You drive it to an illegal warehouse party. Yes. You plug it in and you have a tournament with your fellow. An illegal warehouse party where the Foot Clan are training and practicing their skateboard tricks. Yes.

You know about my lifestyle. Uh-huh. Socializing with the Foot Clan, enemy of the Ninja Turtles. No, so I'm a big Street Fighter guy, and obviously, you know, some huge news came down the pipe. Street Fighter VI is coming out next year sometime. It's the sixth game. Wow, that's incredible. Yeah.

Can I ask you a quick question? How many pit fighters are there now? Because I'm more of a pit fighter i think i think there is a canceled pit fighter 2 out there that you can like illegally download oh my gosh and you and you play it on your home holographic system or whatever yeah exactly um so you know six six Street Fighter game coming out. But the big news is that they've released some of the, like, backstories for the characters. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, you know, these games have been going on since we were kids, obviously.

So, obviously, you know, they want these characters to kind of grow and change and kind of, you know, put them through something different every time so we can see new sides of them. We both kind of did different ones there. Okay, yeah, well, it's fine. Brian, unseparate them out so we do them sequentially instead of on top of each other. No, layer more on top of them. Make it like those Flaming Lips albums that you have to listen to on five different boom boxes. I mean, we've all grown a lot in the last, what is it, 20, 30 years? Sure, yeah.

I mean, Joe Biden used to be racist. The pandemic was tough on Blanca. No, so, you know, the characters are growing and changing. And the storyline for Can Masters this time around, and this is via leak. So, you know, take it with a grain of salt right i hate anonymous sources yeah so um well then maybe you'll hate this information but okay you know based on some internet chatter uh some information from the deep state go ahead ken's backstory in street fighter 6 is that he got too into fighting he got too into karate tournaments so his wife left and took the kids his so so like divorce or you know a shattered marriage is going

to be part of the plot line in the new street fighter game can i ask you a question jordan yes do you think that's what happened with our dads? Oh, that they got too into underground fighting tournaments? Yeah. I mean, it was a long time ago. Like, I don't have really clear. I know when my parents split up, I was about three or four. You were a little older, but I don't have clear memories of what exactly my dad was up to. I remember AA meetings, but those could have been underground fighting tournaments and i just misinterpreted them well was he let me ask you this at any point during

these aa meetings did he fight m bison is that that big green guy no that's a um a warlord from shadow lu i believe okay um yeah I mean, it's possibly did. You're more of a Street Fighter guy than me. How big is serenity in Street Fighter, just as a quality? Oh, yeah. No, Street Fighter is more about accepting what you cannot change. Okay, great. Perfect.

Which is a green mutant from Brazil electrocuting you. Okay, so you sent a file here. Yeah, and also just to kind of give you a sense of where Ken is at, you'll see here in the chat I have some concept art from him. And just to kind of make matters worse here, his new character design makes it look like he's wearing sweatpants. Okay, I'm going to take a look at this. Before I do i do i just want to mention that ken masters to me as a name recalls someone leading a real estate seminar at the airport marriott oh yeah okay i'm gonna take a look at ken masters here he's in the

so these are leaked this is these are leaked yeah so you obviously this is like off a cell phone you know maybe this will be public info by the time this drops, but for now. So first of all, there's this Japanese guy. This guy's got a purple sash on. He's got pants torn at the bottom. He looks pretty badass. He's got cool sandals. He looks rad.

You know how somebody that looks cool, like legitimately cool in sandals, and you're like, fuck. I wish my feet were that comfortable right now. Yeah. One in 30 can pull it off. One in 50 and reuse one of them. The wandering warrior. There's this giant Harry chested.

What is he? This guy Russian? That's Zangief. Yes. Zangief and he's Russian? I think so. Yeah. I mean, obviously, you know, there's a lot going on over there these days.

So, yeah. And then this is Ken Masters in the middle here and he represents america he is he's he's one of the american fighters um you know obviously you have guile as well don't forget guile i have a question about him did you forget guile he's wearing a tank top but on top of that he has a what looks like a shearling coat to me yeah i think this all kind of points to him not having a great couple years can i ask can i ask a question i mean it's been a tough year a couple years on all of us right we've all oh for sure yeah i bet i mean not all of us have gotten excessively obsessed with underground fighting tournaments that's true i think i'm appropriately obsessed with them

yeah how one to ten how obsessed with underground fighting tournaments are you jordan i mean 10 but i'm not married so right you're a single guy yeah you've got room in your life for that you can watch all the whole of the simpsons again if you want to he's wearing a tank top underneath yeah and he's wearing what look to me i'm'm going to be frank, like hiking boots. Right. With what looks like sweatpants. I'm sure those are probably karate pants, but it does.

Those are 100%. The Japanese guy, you could argue that those are karate pants that have been through a lot. Like presumably a lot of karate. Right. like presumably a lot of karate. Right. And then, but then this other guy in the middle,

Ken Masters, he's, these are 100%. These are sweatpants. This is just, I think what happened is, and this is no laughing matter, but this guy is going through depression. I understand why his family,

his family abandoned him. If that happened to me, I would, you know, it doesn't, there's such a thing as situational depression. You know what I mean? But maybe he was depressed or bipolar previously.

Yeah, I mean, hopefully we unlock that story in Street Fighter VII. We really get into it. Was Ken Masters hypomanic when he had the obsession with underground street fighting tournaments sure doing it too much karate what if sagat's ocd what it really looks like honestly dude what are the various mental illnesses of the that would make it more fun i think we can all agree that this divorce thing is great but we need look we're fun we ill. Sure. In the middle there, Ken Masters looks like he was wearing a tank top and sweatpants, and he was watching all the Simpsons again from the beginning. Then somebody called, maybe Zangief, and said, get out here. We're having an underground fighting tournament.

And Ken Masters said, for the sixth time zangief said yes and he just put on his hiking boots because that's what was by the door right we're closest and he grabbed his shearling coat because i think probably he lives somewhere cold like minnesota or something yeah and then he realized he didn't look tough enough. So as a show of strength, he rolled up the sleeves on his shearling coat, which is there all the way up to his elbows, which seems impossible with a shearling. The outfit is either kind of what you said,

last minute outfit to go to an underground fighting tournament, The outfit is either Kind of what you said Last minute Outfit to go to an underground fighting tournament Or Trying to run to Rite Aid for tequila before it closes I mean either one Yeah Shall we introduce our guest? This is a fun one Jesse

Shall we or shall we Our guest on the program. No chance here. No chance for these fellows. Our guest on the program is a celebrity from the world of punk rock, where he is the vocalist for the band Fucked Up. He is also a podcaster and podcasting celebrity. He is the host of the podcast Turned Out a Punk. And of course,

you probably know him from Much Music, the Canadian MTV, Damian Abraham. Hi, Damian. How are you, friend? I'm good. I'm thinking of all of Ken's new powers.

Like his kids show up, he's scrolling Tinder. I got a different read on it, though. DTH, down to Hadouken. I look at him, though, and I see a post-Drake world. So I think the sweatpants are are him dressed up and he's now out on the town he's he's looking at he's gonna be this game yeah he's gonna be he's gonna be hitting on other characters he's gonna be showing up late because he had to drop

the kids off at his wife's house before he came to the tournament maybe that's a special move maybe he's like right the kids show up he's's like, oh, shit, I got to deal with this. And then you think he's gone. But then he comes up from behind and gets to attack you. Is it possible, Jordan, that these aren't sweatpants? Is it possible that these are joggers? Is it possible that this is a sneak, that he became a sneaker head in a midlife crisis? Exactly.

Sure. Yes, he could be. Yeah, he could be a hype beast yeah i think that's probably what it is i think these are probably like nike acg like vintage nike acg yeah this this is exactly what are they i'm trying to remember what they call it now but like that uh i guess sportswear chic almost yeah these boots i think i think he's found a grail piece and he's trying to show it off. Exactly.

Vintage Nike ACGs. How are you, Damien? Are you joining us from the great nation of Canada? I am. I'm joining you from Toronto, Canada in my basement, surrounded by my records. And yeah, it's an honor to be here. Thank you very much for having me. Jordan wearing the Turned Out of Punk shirt,

one of the few people that's picked one up, despite what I say at the beginning of my show. So thank you very much for doing that. Well, I mean, maybe it is, and again, I don't want to note you to death. You're a great podcaster. I love the show. But maybe you would move more of these

if at the top of the show you weren't saying and grab yourself a turned out a punk shirt, Jordan. That's right. I got to do more targeted ads. That's my that's my 2000. No, I'd like the podcast thing. When you said podcast celebrity, like punk celebrity. Also, I scoffed at but podcast celebrity. I really scoffed at because the podcast thing, I'm just like, I don't know what I'm doing. Watch me go. Damien, we've been doing this almost 15 years and we've learned nothing. I assure you, we are no further ahead than we were in 2006.

Yeah. And we've never talked to anyone who's been in Rancid. we were in 2006 yeah and we've never talked to anyone who's been in rancid well i guess that's the one thing i did luck out with is i found the one place where i could harass people at their place of work to come on my podcast like normally you're limited in where you can get these people but i see them when they when they're at work and i can get them uh no it's it's definitely the podcast thing i started because i thought it would be fun to to talk to people about this sort of thing and then now years later um my kids are like why do you waste so much time doing this podcast and i'm like i really don't

have a good answer jesse what do you tell your kids would they ask you that? My eight-year-old, I think, would insist that he is more qualified than I to host this podcast. And the honest truth is that it's probably the case. My kids have taken to the only language that young people speak, as far as I can tell, is YouTube videos of Minecraft. Yes, yes, very much so yes and my son will it doesn't matter like he will sometimes record just for the family uh some actual play videos of him uh playing minecraft um but even when he is not playing with a friend or recording his play, he will narrate it to himself. He will be like, well, here comes those creepers. I don't know anything about Minecraft. Here comes those creepers.

I hope it's not pornographic or something. Here comes some Skeletors. Look out. I got to make a pig. come some skeletors you know look out i gotta make a pig do you think i mean will minecraft go on for so long that we'll have to learn about the creepers and the pigs getting divorced we're all gonna be working there soon that's gonna be the new economy yeah oscar told me his new realm is an underground karate fighting tournament oh yeah damien i'd love to hear more about like what what your kids

think of your profession um oh yeah like do they they don't think it's cool do they like go to have they been able to see you like at a show be like you know yeah my eldest high energy punk band well my eldest we dragged to a lot of shows in the beginning and i think that was now something that he's weaponized as a teenager because he's now just like i don't care about what you do and i'm like yep i know like i feel it doesn't i'm not saying it doesn't stab me like an ice dagger to the heart but i i know i know you know i was at the art museum today with my wife and you know how sometimes outside the art museum they will have like an outdoor event where children can do projects and stuff yeah you know like in the in the like cafe

outdoor relaxation area be an art project they were doing that but there was a uh a punk band on stage at the end of the like corridor of cafe chairs out outside the art museum and they were just like it was just this lady going like end yourself end yourself and it's like this is all these 10 year olds drawing unicorns or whatever well this woman is like capitalism is death wow we got to play the art gallery in toronto uh one time and it was it's one of those things where you're up on stage you're like i think this joke has gone way too far that we're all right we get it too.

All right. I'm going to run around this place and I'm going to do my thing. But you asked for it. Have you ever played for actual children? Yeah, I definitely have. I played for my kids before when they've come to see us. I'm trying to think. We did a kids only version of the band, but I don't think they had me sing, if I remember correctly. I think I what did you name?

What did you name the band that was for kids? I think the name kind of has to change. I think they called it Fund Up, but I don't remember exactly. I remember watching it with my kids, but this was a couple of years ago. I know. Yeah. We've played, we've definitely played shows for it. Like there's this great festival up here called hillside, which is very strong on like a, a family kids component to it. And we got to play,

uh, you know, there twice, I guess three times where there's like a bunch of kids in the front row. And I'm more worried about what I'm going to say in between the songs where I'm just kind of like flow in and I'm more worried about what i'm going to say in between the songs where i'm just kind of like flowing and i'm using f words and sh words as just fillers in between sentences you know you know we all know those i know those words you're talking yeah exactly like i'm using the

the uh like four letter words and and just kind of filling stuff and then all of a sudden i catch myself and then i'm like wait their parents brought them to see a band called Fucked Up to assume a certain amount of those kids are coming here with that baggage I'm not going to give them any more wait I have an important question about this

fund up band so this is the other people in your band but they kicked you out. Did they replace you with like Rafi? replaced including myself i didn't go on the first european tour i uh i quit the band and i said i'm i'm leaving the band and they said what if you didn't have to go to europe with us and i was like because i was you know trying to get myself out of school debt and all sorts of things so i'm like okay sure so they got this kid our friend mike the beef to sing for the band. Oh, man. Mike the Beef always does a great job.

We have Mike the Beef fill in when I'm on summer vacation. Exactly. Well, Mike Huntington, Mike the Beef Huntington is a great person, and I owe him a huge debt for doing this because, you know, he did not fill the visual role that I think people were expecting of the band. And people were very brutal to him. Actually, I will say. Is he a small?

I mean, for people who haven't heard Fucked Up, you have a very distinct vocal, a terrific vocal. It's loud. It's intense. I'm maybe guessing the B's maybe a smaller man. Slightly smaller man slightly smaller man he does have a fantastic vocal and sang in a incredible hardcore band from up here called urban blight that uh are amazing in their own right and to put out a bunch of records and hugely influential but for some reason in western europe they did not like him the further east we go still to this day

there are some places we'll play in eastern europe and people will be like, the other guy was better. Well, he knew to pass out Levi's. That's exactly. Yeah, he knew. He showed up. He showed up with American chocolate and just bought everyone's souls. Oh, Jesse, this reminds me, just so you know, next week I'm out and Cooter's going to be here. I'm not really a punk rock guy.

I don't know Mike the Beef so much from when he was filling in on Fucked Up. I know him more from when he would fill in for Carson. Yeah. I thought he did a great job. A lot of people think Gary Shandling was the best. No, the Beef. Yeah, I think Mike the Beef was the best. No, the Beav. Yeah. I think Mike the Beav was the best.

Those suits were amazing. The big lapels. He's the one who banned Joan Rivers, right? We used to do this thing to him where we'd invite him on stage and we'd be like, hey, tonight we're going to cover an Urban Blight song. So when you hear the riff, come on stage. And so he'd come on stage, a hand hand on the microphone and just when he was about to sing we'd go into a different song and it's funny a horribly mean thing to do and then a few weeks ago the band ceremony was in town and they're opening for turnstile and i get a text

from my friends in the band they're like we want to cover uh generation by uh fucked up and i'm like okay cool sounds good and then we didn't mention it get to the show they don't mention it they start playing the riff i walk it on stage and then they go into a different song and i'm beefed did wait did beef set this up somehow or no totally a coincidence no they were like oh my god we forgot we texted you about it we just meant it's like a little tribute we're gonna play your riff and then i walk out it's turnstile playing in toronto so there's like 2 000 people there grab the microphone put my hand in the air and they beaved me fucking beaved man wow that's rough yeah anyway that was my uh that was that was musician lead singer karma coming back to haunt me but yeah everyone else in the band has sat out one show

or at least one or two shows maybe a tour actually probably a tour now that i think about it man i'd love to sit out a jordan jessico tour that's my dream amazing Amazing. You do that Liam Gallagher thing where you get to heckle from the audience. Like if you're. Oh, yeah. The Oasis Unplugged is the one of the greatest things MTV ever did. You know what? We've gotten a lot of demand for a Jordan Jesse go unplugged. They want to hear the story behind when I was in the local weather commercial.

I tell a story and then I tell the story. Here's the story. If you're wondering, Damien, one time Jordan auditioned to be in a local television commercial. He got the part. Yeah. That's great. And then I launch into the story. That's how Unplugged will go. Then later they gave him

$400. Yeah. And then we totally remake The Man Who Sold the World. From Nirvana's Unplugged. $400. Yeah. And then we totally remake The Man Who Sold the World. Mm-hmm. From Nirvana's influence. Jordan, what did you get for your local television commercial? Oh, no, I think they said I was going to get $100, and I never got $100, so nothing. What?

Collection agency. Yeah, I know. Go for it. Fritz Coleman, I know you you're listening you can make this right look i'm not gonna i'm not gonna say the station the station the situation with the station in the hundred dollars that's water under the bridge we're not gonna get the hundred dollars out of the station these people are cutthroat we don't have the attorneys to get that hundred dollars but fritz i know you're listening you're a good guy okay i could tell from the way you asked jordan about the swells how the what the

or when jordan asked you about the swells and you helpfully answered the question about the about the swells i know you're a good guy in fact i would even go so far as to say you're a swell guy nice and i also know you're extraordinarily rich If there's one thing that we know about NBC Force Fritz Coleman, it's that this guy is made out of fucking money. And I'm not just talking about income. I'm talking about wealth. Fritz, you got $100. Give it to Jordan. Yes.

Find retired weatherman Fritz Coleman on Twitter and demand he Venmo me $100. Just find his house. Forget Twitter. Yeah. And demand he Venmo me $100. Just find his house. Forget Twitter. Yeah. Don't actually do that, anyone. Do not actually. No one go to Fritz.

No one do that for real. Fuck it. Let's dox Coleman. Don't dox Coleman. He's fine. Jordan, I'm with you. We'll dox Dallas Rains. That's fine.

Okay. When I was in high school, I was at this party and I had this friend that was obsessed with this local indie rock musician called Noah Mintz. And he had this great project called Noah's Arc Weld, had another project that's pre-broken social scene. A lot of bands in Toronto are pre-broken social scene. Called He-Head with a double H at the front. And he got drunk at this party and he wouldn't stop talking to me about Noah mints. And I'm like, if you like this guy so much, why don't you just go to his house? And he's like, well, I know where he lives. And I'm like, yeah, just do it.

And he did walk all the way across the city. And he told me later on, like, yeah, I got to his house. I knocked on the door. It got a little weird. And then. Yeah, no kidding. And then two years ago, I'm in Kensington Market in Toronto and I see a bunch of friends drinking at a bar and I go up and I'm like, hey, what's up? And they're like, oh, blah, blah. Introduce me to no mints.

And I'm like, oh, my God, I had a friend in high school that was obsessed with you. And I think one time he's like, is that the dude that came over to my house that one night wow didn't have the courage to tell him i told him to do that but i like that your buddy was drunk and then on the walk over didn't sober up enough to realize it was a bad idea it was a very toronto i think i think he forced his way into his house at one point oh my god on the couch it was one of those things if he wasn't 15 at the time it would have been really scary yeah no one is scared of teenagers certainly not me if i remember correctly he was also uh very good with a yo-yo and was yo-yoing at the time.

Because Noah Miss did bring that up as a detail to me. That makes this twice as terrifying. If a kid shows up at your door who's drunk and yo-yoing, that's like how the clown from it is holding those helium balloons wow and originally it was a weapon too right like that's way more terrifying than a balloon that's my concern is that you know the yo-yo's origins are as a weapon what if he knows how to weaponize a yo-yo yeah was it a standard yo-yo or a butterfly it was was a butterfly. We were into yo-yoing. We definitely, and I appreciate your understanding of the medium. Yeah, and you were coming straight from a party, so of course you would have the butterfly.

Of course we had the yo-yos out, man. There were babes at the party. We had to break out the flies. You know, my childhood best friend Pete, he was like a graffiti writer and is a graffiti writer and an artist. A little cooler than a yo-yoer. Well, I don't know. What kind of tricks could you do? Honestly, I've heard graffiti called the yo-yo of the streets.

That's true. That's really true. You know, in my opinion, the original yo-yo is Bob Dylan. Exactly, yes. Some people might even say William Shakespeare. Yeah. But Pete, one time, found Dan Klaus, the comics guy, you know, famous comics guy. And like at a book event, I don't know know a book event or something showed him his drawing book

sketchbook dan clowes invited him over to his house to draw wow that sounds fun that is that's awesome though that's like the dream yeah this other dude uh this other bay area now is he's now a famous fine artist this guy called bar Barry McGee. We used to write Twist. In fact, he probably still writes Twist all over San Francisco. This guy also invited Pete over to his house. It's incredible, these drawing guys and the respect and lack of fear they have for teens. I guess because that's like one of those places like punk where, you know, like not saying that certain people don't abuse this

and don't, don't misuse this, but it's almost like a, a, a Neverland world where you never actually grow up. Like I had friends that were in their late fifties, early sixties as like a teenager and they would legitimately just trade records and it was never creepy, but they're, they're, you know, that, but that was was just because it was like this punk thing where we all were okay with it. And I think graffiti is kind of the same way. And once again, not that this isn't abused and misused by people and not saying that abuse doesn't happen in both of these places because I'm sure I know it does. But at the same time, there's also on the other side of it, this side where it's kind of like you can hang out with a 50 some odd year old person and it not be necessarily creepy and terrifying yeah it's the same in the underground

karate fighting world and i think so right there's a certain generosity of spirit well there's the younger fighters like sakura and sean sure fight adults abuki's shit I saw on my karate dojo that I'm still processing as an adult. Sure. As a kid. Damien, I'm interested about, because, I mean, you have, I mean, you've talked to, like,

your heroes on your podcast, but, like, what is it just, like, going up to, you know, someone you've worshipped your entire life at a music festival or something and saying, like, do you want to be on my podcast? Is it kind of weird and nerve wracking? No, because I was always a punisher.

You know, I was always the guy that was up in these people's faces backstage at shows, even as a kid. Like I did a my brother and I did a fake fanzine. I wasn't a fake fanzine. We legitimately intended for actually come out. But transcribing interviews is hard. Thank goodness. god oh so boring that's why I didn't be never became a print journalist because it's too boring to transcribe interviews so tedious like I remember us doing the first one with uh like someone from unwritten law and we're all sitting

there at the computer just being like, oh, my gosh. Like there's a lot of ums and ahs in this thing. I should have been paying attention when Mario was teaching typing. Yeah, I remember reading that there's like this American Life How to Make Radio comic book. It's really great. If anybody's interested in their podcasting or whatever, I really recommend it. You can still buy PDFs of it for $5 or something on the This American Life website. But there was a part in there, and I was reading this, I was like 18, you know, and there was a part in there that was talking about their process. And it involved going out

into the field, getting all these hours and hours and hours of tape, then bringing them back to the office, transcribing them, and then doing a text edit on them, writing out the piece with the text and the time codes. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm out on that. Yeah, sorry, Ira. You can still be my hero and everything, but no transcribing for me. I shan't be. i really just want to thank the those the food not bombs kids who transcribed this podcast make photocopies of it at kinko

and leave it at the local anarchist bookstore thank you so much without computers now they can still follow along in their own way analog podcasts it's uh it's hot my friends uh you know like have done that kind of work in radio and i saw that but the closest thing i ever got was writing a playlist and my were illegible like when i have to write up the songs i played no one got paid royalties off my radio shows unfortunately because no one could find out who was playing that really is like the the amount to have like a college radio show or whatever um the amount of legally required record keeping is really prohibitive for the people that would like to have a college radio show. Right.

Like, those, these are not record-keeping folk. No. Certainly, they keep their records from the college radio station. But besides that. Just a few that got taken home by accident in the stacks. Yeah, you actually throw it in your bag. It happens. We had to do math in Canada, too, because we had CanCon rules.

So you had to figure out, you know, I think it was 20% of your show had to be Canadian. So if you were a Canadian band with a short song, you got played a lot. band with a short song you got played a lot and actually led to a lot of weird punk hits in canada on much music uh because there would always be oh shoot we only have a minute left we only have a two minute left let's put this gob song on or let's put this dbs song on and so there's like we need something that's canadian in 90 seconds exactly we got to get this in there somehow and it was a great strategy for punk bands to find their way and weasel their way onto like mainstream television in Canada for a while. God, I'd love to be in Gob. Wouldn't that be great? They had beef with the Gob from America. There are two Gobs.

Yeah, I was going to say, I didn't know Gob was Canadian, but I guess I just am familiar with the other Gob. There's two Gobs. There's Reno Gob and Vancouver Gob. Now, I know you're a Canadian, so you're probably tempted to go one way, but as a musician, which gob is the better gob? It's kind of hard to say because they are so... That's why I love punk, because there can be two bands called gob

in the genre of punk and sound so dissimilar. The Reno Gob is a power violence band. So it's blurry, fast and wild vocals. And then Gob from Canada is kind of a pop punk band. And actually, one of the guys now plays in Sum 41. And they're a huge influence on some 41 can i just say that my gob is an awesome gob gob take the wheel

well they beefed in the max rock and roll uh left out of the letter section i think it was just in interviews and i remember the canadian gob challenged the american gob to a hockey game i don't think i yeah i don't think anyone would have fared well in that competition american gob challenged canadian gob to a dairy queen you don't even have these over there uh damian you have uh i hear you talk about your record collection on the show which i like and now i get to see the record collection behind you which is fun and impressive what's the what's the what's what's the crown jewel in the collection

jeez uh i've got a uh a negative approach test press uh that's like the rejected mix of their first seven inch and i traded 200 records or 300 records i forget how many i i like traded in and took the money and went and bought this thing so i kind of think i traded for it and that's what i'll tell my children like what did you do with your money dad i've been sorting these albums that i inherited from my aunt who passed away and she had this huge record collection and i'll be looking through these records and she was she really liked jazz music and and i'll get to one i'll get to a record with a jazz record with a weird cover and i'll I'll look it up on the internet. And there's a bunch of them that sell for $300 or $400.

And I've found that the more valuable the record is, the more difficult to appreciate it is. Let's say generously difficult to appreciate. And I don't want to sell them because they belong to my auntie and i would never see another one again and they remind me of someone i loved but i'm also like wow these solos are very free well i i like i now look at this record collection like, I got to get rid of some of this stuff. Because eventually, no matter how much I love this record, it's going to be completely meaningless to my kids. They have not taken any interest in this stuff so far.

It's like those antiques dealers whose kids only buy their furniture at Ikea. Exactly. Me and my dad. me and my dad my dad has like art deco life with his whole furniture thing and sells he now sells antiques because he had to deal with his addiction uh to to many things but antiques being one of them and uh this was my kind of uh my my i guess rebellion was collecting records though he he was in a punk too and i actually have some of his old punk records in here. He was more a 60s music guy and kind of too old to be really in the scene, but he definitely got a couple records and some good ones, including Pat Smear's father-in-law's record release version of his LP. Wow. Yeah.

Damien, did you ever – I mean, obviously obviously this is armchair quarterbacking at this point but like you know you say that like your kids don't care about punk rock is there a way you could have reverse engineered it by just like when you had kids just pretending to be into rush yourself and then the kids would lash out against you by getting into punk i think no matter what you're into they will they will know no matter what you are no matter what you do they will know what to do to hurt you and they see your soft spots yeah i took i took my my middle child's screens away um you know minecraft once again um and he looked at me and he goes oh yeah punk sucks it's like god damn it dude and you're like it's an acquired taste it's an acquired taste one day

you'll grow up and you're like shrimp and punk yeah i'm like not and i'm like how can you say all of it you know like you're not like sure sure, maybe Canadian gob, but what about Reno gob? Yeah. Yeah. These kids, like, don't know about Reno gob. They don't know about Reno gob, right? So many kids these days are so, like, dismissive of power violence, I feel like. They just don't get it.

No matter how blurry the drums are. They don't get it, you know? No. They do love that minecraft song though oh god that's the only music my my middle child just likes this one minecraft song and then he thinks that good music is when you play a regular song twice as fast using the computer i don't know i had a perry from nerf Herder on the podcast recently. And in my research, I uncovered that he wrote the song It's Raining Tacos, which is used in Roblox.

And when I told my kids that I interviewed the guy that wrote It's Raining Tacos, I finally impressed them. That was it. That did it. I finally had them. All these years. I was trying. I finally had them. All these years. Man, I was trying. I'm like, Daddy's making a radio show with Pee Wee Herman. Blank stare.

Daddy had the YouTube Minecraft song guy. That would be a rocket to the stars for them, for me in their eyes. Yes. That was definitely. for them for for me in their eyes yes that was that definitely they were like uh that guy bill hater that was on your podcast is doing really well and i'm like oh yeah they're like yeah he had a voice in the adams family movie you sit your kids down you make them watch barry make them watch all of it i told them that not until you're at least 14. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Are any, which is the most punk rock of your children, Damien? I guess all of them because they just reject it completely. You know? Right. That makes them all. I think Dorian's the one who I can see, my middle child.

He's the one I can see when i put on a song kind of gets into it once in a while he's at least the one that likes guitar based music the most out of all of them but even that's changing i find i can't lean in i can't lean in anytime they'd like anything i've just got to play it cool don't get excited because then they will know that if they hate it, it'll hurt you. The main punk rock thing that my kids do is refuse to wash their hair. That's the number one. Unless trampolining is a big punk rock thing and I didn't know, then I would say refusing to wash their hair is the number one. I guess rejecting the authority over screens is the other punk rock thing they do. guess like uh rejecting the authority over screens is the other punk rock thing they do because like they will and it's funny because a lot of people on the podcast and they'll be like my

my eldest son's age and they'll be like yeah like 12 like oh well i had um steve mcdonald from red cross one of the earliest episodes and at 12 he was i i used air quotes when i say this dating a 27 year old woman who ended up kidnapping him with her parents and holding him for six months. And then he got reverse kidnapped and stuff. And so I look at my son who's sneaking downstairs and sneaking onto a computer to play Minecraft at 11 o'clock at night. And I'm like, well, there, but for the grace of God, go I, because there is way more terrifying things that T could be into. The last thing you want to have to do is reverse kidnap one of your kids. I don't, exactly.

At least until they're in their 20s and it's from a religious cult. Sure. I mean, would I be fine, end of the day, if I had to reverse bank rob my kids? Yeah, sure. I'd do that. At least I'd get some bags full of money with dollar signs on the outside you you would get so much road bucks from roblox you would be rolling in it you could have the best avatar yeah um you guys can want to go uh commit a little reverse crime and then uh

come back for another segment we'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. It's Jordan, Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart, Jordan Morris, boy detective. Now, Jordan, on a week-to-week basis, on a minute-to-minute basis, who is the number one supporter of Jordan Jesse Go? Why, all the people that go to MaximumFun.org slash join and sign up to support. Yes, the members of Maximum Fun, we salute you. I raise my seltzer in honor of you. We're also supported this week by the good folks at Magic Spoon.

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because that's a great flavor, that one only has one gram of sugar. There's some new flavors here. Not just honey nut. There's some new flavors here. Not just honey nut. There's also cinnamon roll, which is very nice. And of course, Magic Spoon, known the world over as the only breakfast cereal that my kid Frankie calls Magic Poon. Go to magicspoon.com slash JJ Go to grab a custom bundle of cereal and be sure to use our promo code JJGO at checkout to save $5 off your order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it's backed with 100% happiness guarantee.

So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember, get your next delicious bowl of cereal at magicspoon.com slash JJGO and use our code JJGO to save $5 off. We're also supported this week by the folks over there at Zip Recruiter. Jordan, it is summertime. And I want to save all of my time this summer for the sea dew, baby. Heck yeah. Now, do i have a lake to ride it on not yet but my plan right now is to tie a rope to the back of my car tied to the front of the sea do and spend my summer riding the streets of southern california jesse uh i mean i want that i want that for you i want that for you there's a problem jordan there's a problem. I'm a business owner. What if I have to do some hiring?

That's going to soak up all of my time that I would have been using right in my sea-doo behind the streets of Southern California. Here's what you need to do, Jesse. That's why you need ZipRecruiter to find great candidates. They do the work for you. Of course, the crew. The crew does the work for you. Of course, the Crute. The Crute. The Crute does the work. And now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. Here's what they do. They use powerful technology to find and match the right candidates up with your job. It's the number one rated hiring site based on G2 satisfaction ratings as of January 1,

2022. This whole time I've been trying to find and match the right candidates to my job with a freaking yo-yo. Well, you're a fool, Jesse. You're a fool. ZipRecruiter has been here this whole time. Soak up all that summer has to offer and let ZipRecruiter do the work. Ready for the URL? and let ZipRecruiter do the work. Ready for the URL? It's ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo. That's where you can try it for free. Again, ZipRecruiter.com slash JJGo.

ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. And I'm Damien Abraham, fallen pitchfork darling. Oh, no. I didn't know you fell, Damien. I fell. We're not best new music anymore.

You know what I blame? I blame fucking conde nast i blame specifically that conde nast adventures or whatever that travel magazine is called yeah i think i think i think the uh fucked up does not play as well in the conde nast era of pitchfork as we did in the other we got but that's that's okay. We're just in our Save Ferris period. You know, remember Save Ferris? Yes. Oh, Damien, I grew up in Orange County in the 90s.

That is maybe the band I've seen live the most. I can't believe they took their 9.0 away, right? Like, that's one of the Pitchfork reviews that got deleted from the archives. Oh, my gosh. I didn't know that. Yeah. They had, like, a 9.0 review.

That's a funny little, like, on pitchfork you know it's not a perfect rating system but i didn't know i knew that they had re-evaluated like i remember that they had given andrew wk's first album like a horrible pan yeah and they like kicked it up to an eight and a half or something when they, you know, finally came to understand non-irony. And but I didn't know that they had gone the other direction, that they had been like on second thought, fuck them. Well, you just quietly disappear from the archives when it's that. But I actually interviewed Jason Green recently on the podcast from Orchid, and then he played in Panthers. And Orchid, of course, like invents Screamo and is lauded in punk. And the Panthers were not lauded as much.

And they actually have the distinction of having the second lowest pitchfork score ever, a.7. Wow. Yeah. How do you even get a.7? Someone's got to be in a really bad mood that day i would have assumed nazi shit it's not even like stuff point four for drumming speed but besides that not much to be said for this nazi band yeah there's really nothing like i can there's some band that got like a lower score.

I think it was the monkey peeing into its own mouth was the thing for the review. We're not even going to assign this a number. We're going to do a gif of peeing. Can I just I want to mention because we were talking about anarchist bookstores. want to mention because we were talking about anarchist bookstores i got an email uh earlier this year from a max fun listener who has an anarchist bookstores i mean it's a socialist bookstore but sure yeah let's not split hairs here i'm sure they wouldn't do that they're probably supes chill about it yeah yeah about whether you can vote in a revolution or not they're probably super uh chill about that but they look sweet i saw a picture of them in the

picture and they look like real sweeties so if you're in providence rhode island and you're a socialist i do not endorse politics on this program, Jordan, as you know. I'm an NPR journalist. The only thing that I approve of, of course, is birding. But if you're in Providence, Rhode Island, the Max Funn leftist bookstore is the Red Ink Community Library. Isn't that nice? There you go.

We have an official anarchist or socialist bookstore. You know what? We have an official socialist bookstore. If you'd like to apply to be our official anarchist bookstore, drop us a line at jjcoatmaximumfun.org. Let's hear from all of you. And look, if there's any anarcho-syndicalists out there and you have your own bookstore, we'll put you in contact with the anarchist bookstore and you guys can fight it out. Just make sure to pass the talking stick back and forth. I think this is going to be our most popular segment ever. When something momentous happens to you, we ask you to call us at 206-984-4FUN or email us at jjgoe at maximumfun.org.

You can just send us a voicemail. It's as easy as picking up your telephone and saying, hello, voice memo, and then it'll open your voice memo app and then just record whatever you're going to do and just email it to us. You know, it's who uses phones? jjgoatmaximumfun.org is the email address. Here's a momentous occasion from someone now. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guests.

My name is Brent. So I'm driving through the foothills of North Carolina. It's the first day of summer, and I started seeing fireflies, which is pretty cool, because I was driving back to see my parents. I haven't seen fireflies in a long time. So they started getting closer and closer to the road and more and more dense until I'm in this like cloud of fireflies. And they started hitting my windshield.

My windshield just started glowing. Just all over little dots and dots and dots. Firefly, just dead glowing firefly carcasses. It was as beautiful as it was gross. Love you. Bye. bye man that's incredible that's gorgeous what a what an incredible moment you know there's certain moments in our lives that we want to hold on to and treasure you know one time uh i used to be a truck driver One time I Really plowed the shit out of a unicorn And It was the smear across that

Freeway Jordan Just extraordinary I've always dreamed of watching a turtle explode Doesn't that sound beautiful It sounds absolutely gorgeous This So we don't have Do they have fireflies in Toronto, Damien? You got warm weather in the summer.

Yeah, but I've only seen them, I think I've only seen them when I've been in the States. And so I don't remember seeing them growing up. And they certainly weren't, like we got moths. And actually there's this place just outside of of montreal called lachine and they have these shad flies and i remember going to a grocery store one time as a kid and the whole door just covered in them just like like i've never seen anything like it it was it was hideous and that stayed with me for life and so they weren't glowing, though. Yeah, that's the key thing. I used to see fireflies.

You probably, Jordan, saw fireflies visiting your family in Texas and Louisiana. Yeah. I used to see them. My mom's from Washington, D.C., and her family mostly lived in Virginia. And I used to see the fireflies there, and it was always incredible. Our friend Glenn Weldon from Pop Culture Happy Hour, he lives in those environs. And I saw a picture that he took of being completely surrounded by fireflies. And I guess I'm wondering if there's too many

fireflies now. Yes, people need to start intentionally plowing into them with their cars. Should we be introducing predator? What eats a firefly kudzu a waterfly yeah a human i think that would be like a new great dining thing you know like your food lights up oh shit yeah that would be a great fine dining like maybe the chef has like a cheese grater and he grates the fireflies over your pasta. Yeah. Say when. That nutmeg type thing. I would love that.

What kind of pig can sniff out fireflies? That's what we need. One of those firefly sniffing pigs. If you can catch a few of them. This gives me an idea. We're in the thick of it. It's summertime. And I think we have a rich tradition of giving people great advice for,

for their summers. Right. I think, yeah, I mean, there's a lot of podcasts out there, but there's only one hosted by a real summer boy. And that's you,

Jordan Morris. That's true. Yes, I am the, you know, the summer boy. And obviously like, um,

a lot, there's, there's a lot riding on me. People are looking to me for summer advice. Right. And I think this Firefly call gives me an idea. Wow. And feel free to shoot this down. I mean, I am the expert, but I want your feedback too. Right.

How do you feel about encouraging our listeners to make this a folksy-ass summer? Yeah, I think that sounds like a lot of fun. Keep it down home? Yeah, like leave a pie to cool on a windowsill. Right. Go skinny dipping in the crick? Go skinny dipping in the crick.

That would be great. And Jesse, I think that's great. Just because it's folksy doesn't mean it can't be horny. Yeah. I think that's absolutely true. A lot of people think that folksy and horny are oppositional. They think that you have to choose between them. No.

But where do you think Ma and Pa got their kids? That's right. They fucked. Yeah. Ma and Pa fuck. Yeah. These two fuck. Folk it and fuck it.

That's what's. What's a good example, Damien? What's a good example of a down home Canadian activity? Because we want to take this international. I guess there's like a lot of people that cottage. Cottaging is like a huge thing in Ontario. And this is a type of sex? I guess there's sex that goes on there.

I never really got to go to many cottages. This is like that thing where English people fucking parking lots or whatever. Yeah, dogging. I'll tell you, that was our first trip to England, getting off the plane. And with four minutes, the guy who's driving us is brought up dogging twice. And it's like, I don't know if this is going to be the most fun tour. You're like, look, I'm known for bleeding from my head on stage, but this is a bit much for me. I just think any time that that's come up twice in the first few minutes of conversation you know that this has been on

the person's mind a lot did you think it was a thing where it's was he like taking your temperature was it like wouldn't it be hilarious if we kissed is that what do you think what was going on that's it was kind of that vibe at first it's like it was like oh it's funny let's let me tell you about this thing and then it's like okay and then it's like you remember that thing i told you about that was so funny yeah dogging yeah it's like yeah it wasn't that funny the first time now it's getting really weird he's like anyway we're in a car yeah isn't that weird how i just brought up this car thing yeah okay so parking lots and forests everywhere is is cottaging is that like a lake house kind of situation yeah it's like a lake house type thing there's this place called muskoka uh near here and there's like i think there's like

a tragically hip song about it and it's hard to like put into perspective the importance of the tragically hip to to people that aren't from canada but it's like like the rolling stones and the beatles cross with like bruce springsteen i guess to canadian people certain canadian people i should say but like you know it like our prime minister was crying at their last show and and they are a very important band and a great band too like they they really lived up to it but just the the level of of adulation for this band and they have a song about muskoka and that was just so adverse to everything i liked as a young person you weren't into cottagecore no i was definitely not i was definitely a city core person i You were into cottage cheese, though, right?

I never even liked cottage cheese. I'm trying to think what I would like. What are you even eating on your grapefruits? I can't even eat a grapefruit. That's how far away from cottaging I am at this point. At what point in American history did it stop being what you order in a fancy hotel for breakfast, a grapefruit with cottage cheese? I bet that left. I bet the last year for that was 1989.

That seems about right. And then that's when sun-dried tomatoes came in. Exactly. Yeah. Come Rory. For breakfast, eat a handful of sun-dried tomatoes. Want some smart food and a Snapple? Thanks.

Go savory for the 90s. Yeah, they call it the savory 90s. Brian, we got another call in there. Oh, we should explain this. Damien, Jordan and I are really creative. Jordan is a television writer. I, of course, am a podcast producer. television writer um i of course i'm a podcast producer uh i mean probably best known for my work on television's comedy bang bang as smug tv writer um but we're both really creative so we

come up with a lot of ideas for segments so this is an idea for a segment that we had it's not just a caller calling in that's because they just have something they wanted to say on a podcast and then they make up a name for the segment that they're calling in for. That's it. That's what it is. No, we're creative. We wrote it down and mailed it to ourselves. Hi, Jordan. Hi, Jesse. Hi, guest. This is Anna calling from our nation's capital, Washington, D.C.

So, yes, I am one of those clowns in Washington. Hold on. Can you pause the show for a second brian look damien i don't know a lot about parliamentary democracy but we have a representative democracy here in the united states and now i go out to vote every year sometimes twice a year jordan how how much how often do you vote? A shit ton, right? Yeah. Oh, I'm always... Jesse, I'm voting right now, bro. Thank you.

Bro, I'm voting right now. You just can't see me below the waist, but I'm voting with my dick. Okay. I didn't follow until the end. That's the voice I used to audition for everything in 2005. Damien, here's my point we have a representative democracy here in the united states these we will live in washington dc in the capitol building and you would think that given well some of them live together in a rental apartment that was rented for them by the creator of dunesberry on behalf of amazon prime but besides that most of them live in the capitol building in washington

dc and you would think damien that because we hired these people because we chose these people because these people represent us that these would be good honest hard-working americans just regular joes and janes like you and i but with a commitment to democracy and bettering our nation um but do you know what we have out there in in congress what is it yeah no it's fucking clowns is what it is it's a bunch of fucking big shoe clowns a bunch of seltzer assholes with little fucking flowers and tiny cars flapping around with their big fucking feet instead of addressing the problems of our country this is a callback these fucking people think we used to do a little more frequently with their with their weird face makeup pretending to be a drunk for children minute or two instead of voting on legislation these fucking clowns

some people will probably enjoy it and you know what's it you know what's it the same shit's going down in the state house right now sacramento california same shit's going down a bunch of fucking clowns and you know what they have in sacramento a bunch of those fucking french clowns from cirque du soleil these guys are doing art clowning instead of passing laws that are going to protect the people of this great state and i'm i for one am fucking sick of it i'm running for city council but you know what they told me jordan i told them i went to uc santa cruz and they said no you have to go to Barnum and Bailey's fucking clown college Wow That's all

I just wanted to fill Damien in because he's from Canada Well Cirque du Soleil is from Canada That's true We got some clowns up here That's true Some very whimsical clowns But we have from Le Tranget Charlie Angus a punk band and what about this guy beto

o'rourke from foss wow wow you know you're damien has produced a seven inch of beto's album i think if beto gets elected eventually to president fugazi is going to get reunited he's going to force fugazi to get back together that's gonna be his first hundred days promise it's gonna be right there it's gonna be by decree damien do you have the um do you have the cassette of nancy pelosi scobbins so killed by death that's a hard one to get they gave they gave some out at a record release show. You know what?

A lot of people make fun of that record, but she brought in Tower of Power, and I think they did a great job on the horns. That's that Bay Area shit, you know? It's a shame Pitchfork took down the review. Wait, are you saying she was the singer in Cold Blood? What would you say? All that time? Are you saying she was the singer in Cold Blood? What would you say?

All that time? Who would you say, and I'm asking you this very honestly, is the best act to get their start at Gilman? Is it Green Day or Nancy Pelosi? It's a trick question. It's rancid. I'm going to say no comment. And I mean the band, no comment. Thank you, Damien.

Yeah, that's what's up. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, let's get back to Washington, DC. And I am calling for your segment romantic moments in vision correction. My partner of almost 10 years is quite visually impaired. He has a very strong prescription and thus has to wear glasses to see me. strong prescription and thus has to wear glasses to see me even if I'm like eight inches away from his face. And he has long lamented the fact that if he wants to see me while we are doing something sexy, he has to put his glasses on. And that makes everything a little more complicated because you got to keep the glasses on and he's not a sports guy complicated because you got to keep the glasses on and he's not a sports guy so he doesn't have one of those little straps that goes around his

head so for the last few months he's been talking about getting sex contacts and the other day he did it he went to the eye doctor and he said give me some contacts without telling the eye doctor that they were sex contacts and he wore them while we were having sex and he was like wow i can see you you're so hot and it was really nice thanks y'all do you think that like james worthy from los angeles lakers and chris sabo from the c from the Cincinnati Reds wore their sports goggles when they were fucking? I think there were probably some fans who demanded it, right? That's exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking if I was in Cleveland and I was going up to Chris Sabo at the hotel bar when they're on the road, they wouldn't have been on the road.

There's a National League city in an American league city. What am I talking about? Pittsburgh. Let's say Chris Sabo is in Pittsburgh. It's 1988. He's well on his way to the rookie of the year. If you're a lady, you go up to him.

You like, you like ball players and who among us doesn't, he brings you up to his hotel room. He's got to wear the fucking gogs, right? Yeah. I mean, it it's like if you like if you finally are able to get back to chris angel's hotel room you want him to wear the 13 leather bracelets yeah this is true part of it the honest truth is nobody gogs like sabo unless it's the

television show justified starring walton goggins that's true what a fun thing to say yes i don't know b minus that's what i give it c plus maybe even my question is why isn't he wearing a monocle for sex night oh yes hold that thing in there do you think where's the sex monocle god i guess he doesn't uh i guess he doesn't want his partner to blast like nobody's blasted ever before that's true that's true can i ask you guys a question is this would this be a good i'm trying to develop some fetishes just because i want something that's a guaranteed boner for me as i get older you know i'm i'm right now a g Right now. I want to, I want everybody to know that, uh, all I need is one look at my beautiful wife and I'm hard as a rock. It's not a concern right now, but let's say I'm 53, you know, I don't want to take a chemical boner enhancement. I'm going to need a fetish to goose things a little, you know, and I don't want to be like that guy who's in charge of fifa or formula one or whatever and it involves like ladies dressed in nazi outfits so i need

something that's pretty accessible and pretty wholesome and i gotta pitch something to you i want you to know how you feel about it it It's fucking, but you have those dilating eye drops in your eyes. Like when you go to the optometrist and they have to look inside there. What about that? Is that anything? I mean, it can't be any worse than that thing where they stick an electric stick up the penis. I mean. I think there's a middle ground between the two.

No, there's not. See, that doesn't seem right to me damien i don't know a lot about the field but i do i do kind of want to go back to damien's idea have you thought of monocling yeah that could be pretty hot i i think i would i would be more into it if my wife wore a monocle i feel like it's too on brand for me it's not enough of a you know change of pace but theresa ordinarily wouldn't wear a monocle i'd love to see that and then if if like you say something you know shocking and nasty she can like it can fall out because she can pretend to be so surprised god that would be so hot can i pitch you a can i pitch you a sort of spinoff idea? Sure. What about monocling where what gets you hard is that stuff from Monocle magazine?

You know, that really expensive English magazine. And so just you get really horned up when someone talks about how a country needs better rail service. Or like different airport lounges and which one's the best airport lounge or like what kind of car a third world president drives hey whatever whatever gets you that gb man who am i to judge i'd love to have a gb Well, look, with you guys around, I don't need a GB. You're my G. You're my OG, Jordan. Like, hey, like this caller's partner said to them after he got contacts.

You're so hot. All of you are so hot. Thank you, Jordan. Damien, Val, Brian. That means so much. That means so much Thanks Yeah, no problem We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica Um, hi, I'm looking for a movie

Oh, I gotcha There's that new foreign film with the time travel There's an amazing documentary about queer history on streaming Have I told you about this classic where giant robots fight? Or there's that one that most critics hated, but I thought was actually pretty good. Ooh, I know.

The one with the huge car chase and then there's that scene where the car jumps over the submarine. Wow, who are you eclectic movie experts? Well, I'm Evie Waddyway. I'm Drea Clark. And I'm Alonzo Duraldi. And together we host the movie podcast Maximum Film.

New episodes every week on MaximumFun.org. And you actually just walked into our recording booth. Oh, weird. Sorry. I thought this was a video store. You seem like a lady with a lot of problems. Carrie, is it? Oh, yes. Hi, I'm Carrie. I am Psychic Ross, and I will be reading you this evening.

Oh, interesting. Well, okay. I co-host a podcast. It's called Ono, Ross, and Carrie. Yes, I'm sensing that. The spirits are telling me. It is a show about poodles. Well, it's about fringe science and spirituality and claims of the paranormal.

Oh, you knew that? You do research online. But more importantly, like we do in-person investigations. In-person investigate as well. Oh my god, that's amazing. See? Me and my friend, this is so weird, my friend Ross, same name as you. Weird. He and I just go and try them all out. And actually we've gone to a number of psychics and to be

honest with you, it's a lot like this. It's called Ono, Ross and Carrie. They can find it at maximumfund.org i could have told you that it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective damien abraham fallen pitchfork idol damien will never downgrade this episode of jordan jessica thank you on which you've graced us with your presence i knowing that is my legacy is secured at least in one place on the internet is all i need because you know i could be downgraded on pitchfork and disappear alice a ferris one day. Jordan, just it goes like the musical cats. It's now and forever.

Thank you, Jordan. You're welcome. I have a question, Damien. Are these records behind you which are stored record store style, which I like? Good for flipping. Convenient for flipping. Yes. Is it all punk rock seven inches or are there like a few weather report albums back in there?

Pretty much at this point, it's – no, that's not true. I got a bunch of 45s of different genres. But for the most part, it is punk. I have a – I realize like you need to focus because you're not going to get every record ever. And even getting every punk record ever is a tall feat. But I tried. Oh, boy, did I try. And one day my kids will have to figure out what to do with them.

Yeah, I don't even have all of Beto's records. Well, this record is just going to keep appreciating. Yeah. What does it sound like? It's awesome. Really? It's awesome. It's also Cedric from Future at the Drive-in vocalist and Mars Volta vocalist on drums.

And it's, it's, it's heavily indebted to kind of like DC hardcore stuff, but here's a wild one for you. When Cedric was on the podcast, he told me that when they were younger, they somehow got into Canada. I don't know how they got into canada back then but they got in snuck in probably probably one of those choppo tunnels yeah exactly they got they played up here in canada and they went on tour with a band called placebo once again a gob situation not to be confused with the other placebo. I was going to ask. This placebo featured Feist. So Feist went on tour with Beto O'Rourke and Cedric from At the Drive-In, probably playing to like 20 people a night in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan in the early 90s. Wow.

How are the crowds out in Moose Jaw? If a fucked up show is any indication, not well enough intended to warn a drive from texas you know what i've seen some pretty epic shows in moose jaw i feel like you're you're being i saw chuck schumer's band there wasn't there another u.s president that had a garage rock band who was the democratic candidate like two elections ago oh there was somebody running for president who had a band and i john carrey maybe had like a punk like a garage rock band back it wasn't it wasn't john carrey john carrey slept on my dad's couch back on the day that's his that's his claim to fame

john carrey's um he later became he bought all this white face makeup and i don't know what he was doing with it there was some red face makeup too i don't know what this john carrey was up to in the goddamn congress flapping around with his big fucking feet regular feet giant shoes technically um yeah a lot a lot of great shows in moose jaw you ever see uh jordan you ever see uh back when alexandro casio cortez known as aoc did you ever see when she used to do high nrg music oh yeah which you haven't lived till you've seen AOC do Y'all Ready for This. It got me ready for that. Yeah, I think that's a classic presidential candidate move to bring out your guitar with a band of local dads on stage and sing like a Springsteen song, I would say, mostly.

Born in the USA or something. I can't wait till, if he wins governor of Texas, he's going to come out with the Marked Men and they're going to do the most raging set of covers. It's going to be so awesome. But they're still just playing Signed, Sealed, Delivered or whatever. It's like purely just regular political theme music like motown and shit uh but they're just fucking

raging it out right he's the president listen to him open up the pit everyone the president's demanding we open up the pit it's gonna be so sick when turnstile plays his inauguration as president it's gonna be such sick when turnstile plays his inauguration as president it's gonna be such a wild show yeah it's i mean once fugazi is together and ticket master is eliminated right that's when we know we've got a punk rock president well president punk damien it's been a joy to have you on the program um uh are you headed out on the road anytime soon i am i'm going to the u.s and europe you can find out stuff on fucked up.cc yeah that's our website damien and fucked up truly have an extraordinary reputation as live performers i mean like it's it's one of the most uh thrilling and

exciting things you can you can go out to see yeah i'll i'll i can testify firsthand i've seen fucked up live and it is so much fun i mean like you should certainly listen to fucked up records they're really really good and i think even if you are maybe a marginal punk fan you'll find a lot of stuff to like in fucked up it's really uh really unique music um i say that it's not a i know that sometimes when you say unique it's like a weird that it's not a... I know that sometimes when you say unique, it's like a weird slam. It's not. It's really, really interesting and cool. I take it as such. I hear

influences. Former Massachusetts Senator Paul Tsongas. Sure, yes. I hear a lot of Tsongas in it. We're influenced by former San Francisco mayoral candidate Jello Biafra there you go jello biafra i interviewed i interviewed him on the sound of young america at a san francisco show

because there's not that many celebrities that live in san francisco and uh he's an expansive speaker is how i would characterize him yes he can monologue he can definitely he can he can do that scenery i had brought questions but didn't need them no no you give him that microphone you just say go jello go and you have them yeah uh but i would like to finish the thought of how great fucked up his life if they come to your town, you should really see them. It is so much fun. Yeah. I couldn't recommend it more.

Well, thank you. And if you don't get a chance to see Damien live in person, his podcast is called Turned Out a Punk. What is a good starter episode for people that are listening, for punk rockers that are listening? Gosh, there's an episode episode 101 which features mvp and zach blair it's the second time they were on the podcast the first time they were on the podcast they told their life stories mvp wwe wrestler that became a wrestler after doing a nine and a half years in prison for robbing a casino boat when he was 16 years old and the year was 1864 it's zag blair who plays in guar and now plays in rise against but they left out that they actually

wound up meeting each other when they were 14 and it's a wildest story they reconnected through the podcast but they do wind up saving the misfits from being murdered by the macho man randy savage oh wow he was gonna murder them and then they handed him a slim jim and he snapped into that instead he was gonna snap him like a him like a Slim Jim. I'll tell you that much because Doyle had run off with gorgeous George Von Frankenstein, who was at that point, I guess, engaged the macho man. And anyway, it's all the episode. It's a wild story. And yeah, it's not just like it's not just bands. Damien, you've had our buddy John Ross Bowie on.

John Daly's been on uh fred armisen so a lot of your comedy faves make it yeah through there yeah absolutely like i think that's the thing about punk is it really is this sort of jumping off point for so many people that wind up doing cool things in different creative spaces and everyone from like people that design video games to to people that have have yet like done comedy and all sorts of things that have been on this thing over the years. It's been it's weird. It's weird how, you know, I think now it finally shows the breadth of what I think punk is to me, you know, because I've had enough different people from different places on, but

they all have different definitions of punk, which I think is what makes it so much fun to keep doing. Damien, it's been a joy to have you on the program. Turned Out of Punk is Damien's podcast, and you can go see Fucked Up live in person, but only if you want to have a good time. Our producer on Jordan, Jesse, Go, Brian, Sonny, Dee, Fernandez. On the stream is Valerie. We have a theme music by The Free Design, Love You you courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records maximum fun dot reddit dot com is where you can chat about this episode

you can like us on facebook where we share all of our different announcements we'll probably share fucked ups tour schedule don't you think jordan we're definitely gonna throw a fucked ups tour schedule on there so yeah head on over to the jordan jessico facebook page we're on instagram at jordan david morris at put dot this dot on uh and uh if you have any corrections for the show um uh if you want to clarify the difference between an anarchist and an anarcho

syndicalist um if you're not a democratic socialist, you're a member of the dirtbag left. If you disagree as to which gob is better. If you have gob opinions that you feel like we messed up. Or placebo. Or placebo. These are the issues of our day, no doubt about it. Just tweet those at JDPower on Twitter. They want to hear your corrections. day. No doubt about it. Just tweet those at J.D. Power on Twitter.

They want to hear your corrections. We care so much about quality. We'll talk to you next time on Jordan, Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

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