Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Ep. 77: Striker to the Line

Episode Date: October 24, 2008

Guest Nick Adams joins Jesse and Jordan to discuss 19th century baseball terminology, foreign Playboys and more.

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys, and take off your shoes and socks and run you. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. And this is... Jordan, Jesse, go! Icicles, tricycles, ice cream, candy, lollipops, popsicles, licorice sticks, Salmon, friendly, raggedy, yanky, twiddle-dum dog with the amazing vertical leap, and much, much more.

Let's go. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Joining us on the program, special guest, comedian, author, man about town. Vagabond. Vagabond, really? Ne'er do well. Ne'er do well.

You can't be a vagabond and a man about town. Those are mutually exclusive. You gotta pick one, dude. Can't you? I think when you say vagabond, you're of gad about yeah nick nick adams uh i i you know i i say one thing or the other that's always wrong the name of your book so this time when you were on the show i made sure to memorize where on my bookshelf your book was so i could refer down to it it's called making friends with black people that's it it does i don't even correct people when they mess it up anymore you just gave up yeah i just what's the most common miss how to make friends with black people or getting to know sometimes people say and now i'm just like you're just

making stuff up getting to know black people even. That's not even close. That's not anything. Jordan. Look at the blacks. We've been... I don't know what you're going for. We've been discussing a few times on the show, I have been known to use terminology that was taught to me when I saw a 19th century baseball game. Sure. Now, it's not a baseball game. To be clear...

Rounders. You're watching some rounders. You've been talking about that. I have not been talking about that. I have not participated. You've been doing some listening. Also, just for Nick's sake, I don't have a time machine. I did not see this game.

When I say 19th century baseball game, I was not alive then. I did not travel back to then. It was essentially a Civil War reenactment through the medium of baseball now two of the popular slang terms that we've bandied about you frequently the two of us have shared between each other said them and i've tolerated them are leggett them are leggett and striker to the line um now leggett means run faster striker to the line means we need a new batter now thoughtfully we have thoughtful listeners jordan very thoughtful listeners a listener named colin was kind enough to link to me a website of 19th century baseball slang now wow colin is sure is thoughtful he's a very thoughtful guy supporting this link to me a website of 19th century baseball slang.

Oh, wow. Colin is sure as thoughtful. Thanks, Colin. He's a very thoughtful guy. Thanks for supporting this thing. He's an extremely thoughtful fella. It's happening. I want to be clear here.

When I say baseball, I'm referring to base space ball. Two different words. Base ball. As opposed to? Baseball. What's the difference? Mustaches. Mainly the giantness of the mustaches.

The curvature of the mustache. Now, I've been looking at this thing. One of them that I would like to I'll use it in a sentence here to Nick. Hey Nick, Jordan's a real muffin, isn't he? That's a tough one.

Jeez, man. Just because I've been getting fat. It means you're a player of lesser talent. Ooh. Oh, that was a real stinger or hard hit ball. I like... Yeah. Right. Score a tally for me. Stophit ball. I like... Yeah. Right.

Score a tally for me. Stop now. A tally. Now stop. You're going to want to cut this out. So far, I've held you to a real whitewash. How many more of these do you have? That's a scoreless side.

I just want to anticipate how much longer I'm going to have to live. Someone built a website around these. Three more, four more? Someone built an entire website around just this. Yeah, I know. Jordan, you... There's website around these. Three more, four more? Someone built an entire website around just this. I know. Jordan, you... There's some porn on it, too, to be fair. Is it 18th century porn or current day porn?

It is. Jordan, I think objecting to this segment was a real duff or muff on your part. There's the porn. Is this where the term mulligan came from? Is mulligan in here? Mulligan's a golf... A golf... Mulligan is a golf thing.

It's the other sport that I have no interest in discussing. This one is where the term to soak or plug the runner came from. Remember the other day when we were talking about plugging the runner? No, we weren't talking about that. Well, it turns out... It was maybe you talking to your wife or dog. Hey, Jordan, come on. Show a little ginger here.

Show a little ginger. Show a little ginger if you want a tally before this side out, when there's three hands out. You know, unless somebody actually verifies this website, I can just say anything I want to. Hey, Jesse, you're a real pip-shaboom. You could be reading these off a Word document. Yeah, I know.

This isn't... After Striker to the line, the rest seem kind of disappointing. No, they're fantastic. What about Make Your First? That means get to first. Let's all shrimp the vulture. Come on, everybody. You're going to want to...

Who dropped the bucket? Jordan. You're going to want to nail the barn door shut. At the end of the day, I do this for the cranks. That's our fans. Sure. It is now. Now that term means fans.

Yeah. Well, yes. In 19th century baseball language, Nick. I'm sorry. I just can't believe that somebody actually did that, documented all this. And it looks like the site looks like it's from a university or something. Well, the thing is, is let's say your club nine is looking to be accurate in your... Is this a.edu?

Okay, okay, okay. I promise no more 19th century baseball talk for the rest of this. Is there a separate website for the black 19th century baseball? This is from about 1845, so I think they were up to other stuff. Working? Yeah, they had stuff to do. Like what? Being owned by white people, Jordan.

Oh, yeah. That takes up the vast majority of your time. Yeah, a lot of time for competitive sports. That and one or two spirituals a week is all they pretty much had time for. But, interestingly, it does come with a lot of slanguage.

It does. It does, and it's still here today. I don't know why I did that NPR. No, I don't know what that means either.

I don't either. You're still going to put a bow on this. Yeah. The whole thing. Just trying to brighten it up. I'm really sorry that I derailed

this whole thing with that really upsetting comment. It was really upsetting. Which one? Which one? When you called me a muffin? I think that was right around the time

when Jordan mentally checked out. I could see him not care anymore. I could see him stop having any interest in talking about this. Okay, okay, okay. You're thinking of episode 64. We'll be back in just a second On Jordan, Jesse, Go It's Jordan, Jesse, Go

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective And I'm Nick Adams Do you remember what your nickname was last time? Oh, I don't. Do you have one? I thought about that in the intro, and I couldn't remember.

Yeah, I mean, you're one of the first repeat guests, so we want to keep the nickname consistent. Yeah, you're Nick Repeat Adams. Yeah, I think that was it. Didn't make sense at the time, but now it's crystal. Nicknames, see, they just happen. You can't think too much. You just have to go.

Jordan, we got some presents there. I put them on the side table. Narrate them. Narrate them. Okay. Here's a... Oh, these are great. This is a wooden postcard. Now, you had been, if I remember correctly,

wishing that you would receive more wooden postcards. Yeah. Absolutely. Hey, Jordan. Here's your fucking wooden postcard. Signed, a listener of JJ Go, a.k. Yeah, absolutely. Hey, Jordan, here's your fucking wooden postcard signed a listener of JJ Go, a.k.a. Jane. That was nice of Jane to send that to us. Yeah, P.S. in an episode of JJ Go, you mentioned that you would like

a wooden postcard, but can't be bothered to find which episode that would be. Great. Love it. I'm much more comfortable with people... They have pomegranate and kiwi stamps on it. There's two pomegranate stamps and one kiwi stamp. This is great. That's like a fruit salad. Oh, it's from Portland, too. Fantastic.

Oh, great. I love it. This card has everything going for it. There's nothing I don't like about this. I love that it was just a thoughtless, nice gesture, and she just had to kind of sully it up a little bit, just give it a little attitude. Yeah, she was kind of sweet. It was just a casual sweetness,

and she said, wait a minute, I should put a swear in here. Yeah, it's, you know, that's flying in the face of the convention, that fan mail has to be nice. We've been getting stuff in the mail ever since we gave out our address so people could send us weird food. I actually have one weird food left

in the cabinet that I've been saving for a long time, because it seemed so important once I saw it. Now you're opening an envelope that we got in the mail that said, For Jordan's Eyes Only. Yeah. These things come to me. I'm the one with the mailbox for the programs. I've given out my address.

You did give out your address one time. Okay, wow, I don't understand this. Okay, what is it? It's a book of matches. There's no matches in it. It's a matchbook. It has writing. By all means, read it silently.

Sure, sure. Yeah, I'm just making sure. I'm going to censor it first. Okay, gotcha. For some reason, it's something about my dick. Right. Which it could be. It could be.

I received mail regarding my dick. Yes. Okay, here's two things in this envelope There's the book of matches There is Asian writing on it There's one word I can understand And that's cafe There's one match

And then there's a burnt playing card I don't know what the number is But the suit is hearts On the matchbook is written Sorry, but there are no actual mysteries keep up the good work mr p and then there was something he looked like he tried to wrote but then right and then scribbled out i think he's trying to kill you wow this is fucking awesome yeah bring on bring on the deadly game of cat and mouse pretty creepy yeah oh this is like

the game uh with michael douglas and sean penn i hope. I hope so. I'm ready. I'm ready to be on pins and needles. Absolutely. Thank you, Mr. P. You've given my life the sense of doom that it needed. Okay. Now, there was a time on the program when we were inviting... But seriously, that's weird. That's creepy. Yeah, don't do that.

I like it. I do it, but it is weird. There was a time on the program when we were asking people who lived in weird places, such as foreign countries, which are fundamentally weird. Such as not America. Yeah, exactly. America is what we call normal. Right. I'm talking about

stuff that's not normal. To send us candy from their place, it all started when someone who had a roommate who worked in an Icelandic candy factory didn't have any money to donate, so he sent us a big box of Icelandic candy that his roommate had stolen from the factory. We haven't done this in a while, but this one was so weird that I figured as long as we're opening mail, this is, I believe this is, I'm going to take a look at the writing on here i'm going to say this is like uh dot es so this is spanish this is spanish boy uh candy um it's called conguitos

um which i don't know what that means uh but this is an xxl bolsita so well that's okay we should have plenty of it. That's a good jumping off point. Now, I'm going to throw this over to you guys. All right. Cogito, and there's some sort of fat, nude baby. What appears to be... Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo candy.

Yeah. It's a chocolate poo baby. All right, Nick, hold out your hand. On the front of this thing. They look like raisinets. I think it's probably raisinets. Yeah, that's what it is. Chocolate peanut.

Oh, it's just a chocolate peanut. It's great. Cogitos. Congitos from La Casa. Muy congitos, por favor. I was all set for something super exotic, but yeah. Is this a racist caricature? Is this supposed to be a moor? I think this is supposed to be a moorish child. Yeah. Is this a racist caricature? Is this supposed to be a moor?

I think this is supposed to be a moorish child. Yeah. That's my bet. It's supposed to be a moorish child. That's the least appetizing thing you could put on a bag of candy. That's one of the well-known racisms in Spain, is they believe that moorish children are made out of peanuts. I at least know at the Mexican groceries in the neighborhood,

whenever I go in, their candy rack always looks so disgusting to me. It's always like dried up bees. There's a little plastic baggie stapled at the top full of dried up bees. And I'm like, really? Really? What's dessert like in Mexico? Everything is made up of chiles. Everything has chiles in it.

There's just around the corner from my house, I live in this neighborhood, Koreatown, that for some reason is primarily Oaxacan. There's plenty of Korean people, too, but this particular nook of the neighborhood has a lot of Oaxacan people. This new Oaxacan market just opened up around the corner. The reason you can tell that it carries productos Oaxacanos is that the sign, there is a sign that is flush against the front of the building that says, you know, such and such market. I can't remember what it's called. And then there's a sign that's perpendicular to the wall of the building that sticks out so you can see it when you're walking down the street. It is just a giant picture of a grasshopper.

You know why? Because that's what they eat in Oaxaca. That is the product that Oaxacan people want from their Oaxacan grocery that they can't get at the regular grocery, grasshoppers. Grasshopper-based dishes. Grasshopper. Or just raw grasshopper for cooking. The grasshopper is the symbol of Oaxaca. Are they organic?

I'm guessing no. I think they use pesticides on these things. I think this whole story was just an excuse for you to say the word Oaxaca. Yeah, well. Which is incredibly pleasing to the mouth. It is a pleasing. Oaxaca. And it's nice because it has that X in the middle.

But you know how to pronounce it right. You know what I mean? So you're like, hey, good work, me. Anyway, Jordan, this show isn't just about stuff that people send us in the mail. Oh, one more thing. One more thing we got in the mail. These are great, by the way. I really like these.

They're very tasty. Do you want to split up this rest of it? It's a traditional Moorish dish. I want to save some room for the taco from the truck around the corner that I'm going to have later. Oh, nice. Now, this is something. We had asked people to give us the hookup, if they had the hookup. Now, I'm a married man.

Nick, you're also a married man. I got one. Okay. I asked for the hookup, and all I got was the hiccups. I got one. I asked for the hookup, and all I got was the hiccups. Nick, you're a married man, and I'm a married man. I'm not going to pretend to be a person who has not viewed pornographic materials.

Oh, me, me, me. I'll take it. Wow, wait a minute. This is a giant... That is literally, to quote Paul Rudd, a giant box of porn. Oh, it's like... From Dan in Chicago. Dan lives in Chicago. He was kind enough to send us

this box. Apparently Dan works for Playboy, the Playboy company, and so he has sent us on a world tour of erotic and informative magazines. Specifically Playboy of...

What Playboys do we have in there? Okay. We have got... What do you think about the word erotic? It's like a lame indicator that it's not porn. Erotic means we're going to get you kind of riled up, but what you really want to see, we're going to stop right there. Wow, okay, so these are Playboys from around the world. This is an Exclusivo de Colombia.

Oh, there's an Argentine playboy argentine playboy good um there's a lady on the front um here's one that i i guess is probably from mexico playboy.com slash mx yeah that would be mexico and the cover is john mccain i should hope not. Here's one. Oh, here's another Argentine edition. Oh, Japanese. Here we go.

This is going to be the... No. This is not very sexy. The cover of the Japanese Playboy is a black and white picture of JFK. Well, sure. If that doesn't get your motor running, I don't know what will. Need I say more about erotic? That's what you get when you get something erotic. That's sensual.

And Jordan, since you're still a swinging single, he also thoughtfully got you a t-shirt in there. Did you take a look at the t-shirt? There are no nude pictures in that, Blake. Yeah, I know. This Japanese Playboy seems to be all... Here's some no nude pictures in that, Blake. Yeah, I know. This Japanese boy seems to be all... Here's some scotch. Picture of scotch. A lot of ads.

Watch. JFK. Here's a close-up of a bullet. I think that's from the crime, right? There's a lady, but she's dressed. Here's another dressed lady. Oh, there it is. Okay, that's going on. Okay.

That's something. She does not appear to be Japanese. Anyways. That actually looks like the best magazine of the month. Yeah, this looks like a good magazine. Certainly the articles are the most enjoyable. Yeah, and this last one here is hard to say. And El Enyé Mas Sexy Del Año?

Let me see it. Brazilian? Let me take a look at it. You're the master linguist. Gosh. Oh, wait. I found another deposit. There's like ten more.

It has a special section just of Brasileñas. Brasileñas 2008. Okay. So I'm going to guess... Oh, German. Found the German one. This one's in Spanish, though, so it's not Brazilian, because in Brazil they speak Portuguese.

Yeah. I think, well... Oh, this is maybe Russian. Yeah. Regina is the least sexy name in any playmate's ever head. Yeah, here's the section of the Russian, you know, the Playboy party jokes. Yeah. I have the Russian party jokes.

God, if someone speaks Russian, please, I'll rip this out and send it to you. Can I see it for a second? I would love to see what these jokes are. I love how Jesse's just finding a reason to have to look at all these magazines. You closed the page. I was going to read the party jokes. It's on the back of the foldout. It's on the back of the foldout.

Okay, here we go. Okay, this... Here's one. Oh, no, this is not Russian. This is some kind of Central European language. No. I have a mistake. Dos la plavusa, kod urara promigenti, bateriju nasatu, urara progleda sadikaze. That's the language the bartender was speaking in the Mos Eisley Cantina.

You also got a shirt there. This is a shirt that we're going to expect you to wear proudly in public. Ooh, SpiceTV.com. XL. Good. I imagine these SpiceTV.com t-shirts do not come in any size. They probably run heavily towards the XL.

They don't usually run those on an American Apparel small, medium. Right, yeah. Yeah, there's not a variety of those. Shoot, I really wanted to wear it to the TV on the radio concert. Are you going today? Huh? Oh, you know, I'm actually going to see them in New Orleans this weekend. Oh, cool, cool.

I'm only going to see them in LA. I'm not flying across the country. Yeah, I am. Awesome. That's really cool, you guys. Congratulations. Do you want to go? New Orleans? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Awesome. That's really cool, you guys. Congratulations. Do you want to go? In New Orleans?

Yeah. Oh, you can't. You don't have my job. Well, hey, this is great. And I just want to point out in this one, I think this is also in this self-same Central European language, the nude lady inside,

there's a lot of pictures of her posing with a glass of milk and letting a dog eat out of her hand. Very erotic. When you started that last sentence, I got incredibly concerned. Oh, yeah. The dog is just eating out of her hand. Yeah. Jordan,

what I think he's trying to do here, what Dan from Chicago is trying to do, is he's offering you this sort of smorgasbord of sexuality and sensuality. Sure. To look at with a couple of dude friends. No, I mean, Nick and I both have very beautiful wives. Both of us have done much better than we deserve to.

Well, I don't know. You think you could do better? I think I'm right about where I should be. Hey, this is... I'm overachieving a significant amount of time. Yeah, we both have... But Jordan... We're talking about our beautiful wives.

But Jordan, what I'm saying is, so this is an opportunity for you to decide what's sexy for Jordan Morris. You know what I mean? It's a tall glass of milk, a friendly dog, and JFK. Yeah. Dan likes the Latinas. Let's just say it.

Let's just put it out there. Dan does. That is what Dan likes, ultimately. They're hot-tempered. Jordan, what... That's part of the fun. Let's just say you had to pick a celebrity that you found to be sensual.

Oh, I dropped the candies. What celebrity might you choose? Well... Jordan's like, I have to put down this huge box of foreign playboys. There's something about having that box on my lap that makes you feel bad.

How do you think i felt hiding it in my closet for the last week wow yeah that must have been bad um well thanks dan for that sexy trip around the world um well i mean i mean i i'm not i'm not usually one to have a celebrity crush um right it's never yeah i've never been the one one to cut out the magazine pictures or anything like that. You're not like our podcasting buddy Matt Belknap of Never Not Funny, who has often described the collages of Paula Abdul that he made. No, absolutely not. When he first described that on the show, I assumed he was talking about it as like an 11 or 12-year-old. I found out he was like a 16 or 17-year-old.

A little too old. Yeah, a little too old. Anyway. The other day, though, that game came up where, you know, you present to... Marry one person, have sex with one person. No, it was not that sophisticated. Just who would you rather bonk and they're just two choices. Right.

And then, you know, kind of naturally that game starts with, you know, people you both know and then you, you know you get to hear about that. And then it moves into celebrities, and then just to unpleasant options. It seems like that's the thrust of that game. Right. And then just unpleasant inanimate objects that you would rather have sex with. Right. Anyway, so we're kind of in the unpleasant choices phase of this game.

And they said some unpleasant celebrity um i forget what who it was it was you know it wasn't chloris leachman but like someone like that you know maybe betty white or something yeah so it's like betty white and then queen latifah and i enthusiastically said oh yeah queen latifah like and it wasn't it was supposed to be one of those like, gun to my head, right? Gun to my head. But no, for some reason, the thought of having sex with Queen Latifah is not unpleasant. You know what?

Because Queen Latifah is a lovely woman. She's an attractive lady. But I was like, whoa, dude, really? I don't know. But yeah, I mean, I know she may or may not be a lesbian, right? I'll't know. But yeah, I mean, I know she may or may not be a lesbian, right? Is that up for debate? I'll tell you this.

My lesbian auntie certainly considers her to be a lesbian. Good enough for me. No matter what Queen Latifah thinks, I think my aunt's certitude has drafted her into lesbianism, even if she wasn't naturally a lesbian. It's like black people with Tiger Woods. It doesn't matter what he says. Yeah, the deal has been struck. It is done.

He has been selected. Exactly. But Queen Latifah's not... She's a healthier lady. Sure. But she's not unattractive. No, she's a lovely woman. I'll tell you what I think about Queen Latifah.

This is what I think about Queen Latifah. She has a certain ineffable quality it is the same quality that has made her a film star despite the fact that i think she's probably not a good actress and not necessarily a horrible actress living out loud hairspray i didn't see chicago but i saw living out, which is one of the earlier things she did, and I thought she was very good in that. Now, I should say that I'm basing this primarily on having seen her on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I'm not sure if I've seen any other Queen Latifah-type films. Plus, if you're on The Fresh Prince, you're just there to set up Carl.

Set it off. Set it off. She's great in set it off! She has a certain something, right? She has a star quality about her. She's getting... I mean, frankly, she's a little bit out of my demographic, I guess.

But, uh, age-wise, you know, me being in my mid to late 20s, and her at this point, I guess she must be pushing middle age, right? She's got to be well into her 40s, right? She's got to be in her early 40s, I guess. Yeah, early 40s. That's not too bad.

No. She is getting bigger, though. You think? More famous. Yeah, that's all I meant. That's all I meant. Just more famous-er. I don't know.

I feel like I've seen some shots of her from this new movie, The Secret Life of Bees, and I think she's looking pretty good. Oh, yeah? She's svelte?

Svelte, still bosomy. I think what happens with a lot of healthier women... That's not going to change. They get famous, they think, well, I should get thin. Right.

And then they realize that, well, it doesn't matter for me because I got famous as a big girl. So they go through a phase of, like, they go Hollywood and lose a few pounds, and then they realize that, well, it doesn't matter for me because I got famous as a big girl. So they go through a phase of like they go Hollywood and lose a few pounds. And then they realize that they're never going to be on the cover of Maxim. So they say, screw that and just go back to the buffet. With the exception of Cameron Manheim.

She got skinny? She's fat. Get used to it, I believe was the title of her book. Oh, right, right. Her and Monique. Yeah, her and Monique. That would be a great, that would be a nice sitcom. Monique and Cameron Manheim.

Yes, because then you can just see the post, you can just see the image and know, I'm not going to watch that. You don't have to watch the pilot. You don't have to see any scenes. It saves a lot of time. You can just see the two of them in a poster and go, great. Are they standing back to back with their arms crossed? I think you have to if you do that kind of shit.

That's what you have to go for. Maybe they could be face-to-face with, like, pointing fingers at each other. A little sass. A little sass. Yeah, because they're both very sassy. They are. One's wearing bifocals and one's wearing stunner shades. Now I'm guessing there's going to be some sort of cultural bumping of heads.

Yeah, there's going to be some confusion between... Because they're not gonna know how to interact yeah i think monique's character by the way on the show is named mo not monique just mo just mo mo and cam that's the name of the show mo and cam they would definitely have a a thin a skinny blonde nemesis yeah maybe she works at the ad agency they all work at. Or the magazine. Or possibly, how about this? A person of a third race that they both hate.

Right. You know, like a Latino or something. Yeah. Or possibly an Asian person. Maybe, uh... Wait. Yeah, an Asian. No, wait, wait, wait.

Miss Rosie Perez? Not Asian. This is television. There's no... Asian people are not... DB Wong is already working. Yeah. Yeah, I think this is a Asian people. DB Wong is already working. Yeah.

Yeah, I think this is a good thing. Do you guys want to pitch this with me? I think we just did. Yeah, we just pitched it. Just send this to all the networks. Yeah, I don't want to have to do another meeting at first. Sorry, God. I'm not trying to drag you into meetings here. I'm just trying to make us some money.

Yeah. Strike where the iron is at. Yeah. Don't wait around. Pretty soon, we're going to be making the big bucks, and you guys are bitching about taking a meeting.

We're already too big for it. We're already over it. You know what? I have, tomorrow at 10 o'clock, I'm going in to see Brian. Brian Grazer. And I am,

I'm going to bring him this idea. I'm cutting you guys out of it. It was originally my idea. I entitled it. You have to bring him this idea. I'm cutting you guys out of it. It was originally my idea. I titled it Cam and Mo. I'm going to write an email to Nikki Fink right now just to cover my ass. Yeah, noted Hollywood celebrity. Celebrity reporter, I mean. I'm going to yell right now to Les Moonves.

Hey, Les! I got an idea about a fat show we'll be back in just a second on jordan jesse go it's jordan jesse go i am jesse thorne america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective nick adams aka repeat, Repeat Nick Adams. I like that. I didn't like the a.k.a. Yeah, I didn't like the a.k.a. either. I was focusing on the, I was accentuating the positive, but yeah, I also did not like the a.k.a.

I just like Nick Adams, Repeat. But then, is that redundant? I should just say Repeat. What about Nick Repeat Adams? Three Pete. What about Nick Nick Adams? I guess next time it'll be Three Pete. What if you say Nick twice? I'm just going to go with repeat. Just repeat?

Yeah. Well, Nick Repeat Adams. Because people will just know you as repeat? Nick Repeat Adams has a fish that saves Pittsburgh slap shot kind of vibe to it. Okay. Yes. Sure. I don't know what that means, but I agree completely.

Okay, so lately on this show we have been naming things. We've named half a baby, although that seems to have gone to hell. We named a miniature horse. We named, what else did we name, Jordan? Miniature donkey. A miniature donkey. No, no, just a mini horse. We named a bunch of animals in an animal shelter. We named all kind of shit. But I think this is our best name so far. Greg from Omaha is on the line. He's Duke Rayburn on the forums. Greg, welcome to Jordan Jesse Go. Hi there. Greg is there with his lovely wife, or wife-to-be, I should say, Shannon.

Right, Greg? Yes, yes, she's right here. Now, we only had one line, so they're going to have to pass the phone back and forth. Okay, I was going to say, I thought this was maybe a window into their abusive relationship. Yeah, Shannon's here. Shut up, Shannon. She's nodding. Okay.

Okay. That's cute. That's really cute. Things are going really good. I can already tell that this is... Now, Shannon, before we even get to what you want us to name, I just want to check in real quick because a couple weeks ago, we named a baby for a couple, and the fella seemed a lot more on board than the lady.

So I want to check in with you, Shannon, to see if this is something that you're on board with, and if you understand that our judgment is binding. Yes, I understand, and I trust you both, or I guess three of you, today, completely.

Okay, let's... As well you should. Don't let your lady's feelings get in the way. Yeah, don't get all flighty and emotional with us here, Shannon. And God forbid hysterical. You get hysteria. Just drain some humors should that happen. Okay, that's good, Greg.

Now, Greg, explain to us and our listeners what you need us to name. Okay, well, we're about 10 days out from our marriage. We're getting married on Halloween this year. Cute. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you very much. Cute.

And we aren't, neither of us are really crazy about our existing last names. We're not going to ask you for your last names for privacy reasons, but keep going. So we're kind of looking for a clan name. My family has already carried on the name through a child, and there will probably be more down the line. We don't know if we're going to have kids necessarily or not. So we kind of just wanted to branch out and form a new clan, more or less. And we have some ideas.

Now, hold on, Greg, hold on. When you say clan, are you looking for a tartan? Is that what you're, are you asking us to design a tartan for you? No, that's not a radio. I don't think that would read very well over the radio. I don't know. Could you describe a shield to us? If you want to do a coat of arms.

We primarily do heraldic stuff on this. Oh, okay. And you'd actually be surprised how well plaids play on radios, as long as you don't try and mix them with stripes. Oh, no. I can draw a picture of you guys fucking. Okay, so essentially what you say is, you guys, neither of you is crazy about your current last name,

so you want us to pick a new last name for you that you will use legally after your marriage. That's the goal. And pass on to children. Yeah, and pass on to potential children, or at least dog children. Is this something that takes a lot of legal paperwork to do? Have you looked into what this is going to be just bureaucratically? Yeah, it takes a bit more on my side.

I think they sort of have a system worked out pretty easily for women to change their names when they get married. But I've got to do some paperwork, but it's worth it. I want us to be unified under one name. It doesn't have to be mine. Under that theme, just to kick off the brainstorming, I'm going to suggest Unisom. Because it has the unification theme plus getting a good night's sleep with people. There might be some trademark

implications. Yeah, have you thought about opening this up to sponsors? You guys can make a little money. You just made it 2.0, Jordan. I did. Every time I've seen that, people who have resulted in selling that, they've just ended up as goldenpalace.com.

Yeah, that seems to be the main company that's interested in that. Shannonandgreggoldenpalace.com doesn't really sound right. It doesn't have a good ring to it. Would you be willing to consider a sponsorship from JordanJesseGo and become Shannonandgreggo.com? I don't have go.com. Nobody has go.com. Jordan't have go.com. Nobody has go.com. Nobody's visited go.com since 1997.

Super Bowl commercials. That went the way of Lycos. What about going the way of our beloved mayor, Antonio Villalagosa? You have to say his name that way. Because that's not his name. Him and his wife jammed their names together.

What about this? Cucuy after El Cucuy. Yeah, but have you thought of either jamming the names together or doing like a hyphenated situation? Actually, yes. Shannon will tell you about the jamming. Yeah. We're all ears.

I'll come up with something fabulous. We were going to hybridize and without I guess revealing our last names, sort of changing some of the letters so it's a new word. I think the only problem is it's a little cute.

Yeah. And it sounds like a cartoon duck. Yeah, and that last name idea, and this is kind of our strongest candidate at the moment, is Jaxes. Yeah, that makes me want to punch you in the face. You said our last name on the air. No, it's okay. It's a hypothetical. People could conceivably reverse engineer it. Yes. If this were the movie The Bodyguard, someone would be in a guest basement somewhere,

piecing together the mystery of their last name, but I think it'll be fine. Just look around. Do you see Kevin Costner at all? No. Just in general. That's a good rule of thumb. That's a good thing to do on a daily basis. Just look around. Is Kevin Costner around? You know what? If it's Kevin Costner from Open Range, you don't have to worry. Yeah, that's actually a pretty good

Kevin Costner. If it's the water world, if he has gills, just run. If you see Kevin Costner, you want to put your palms on his ears and then curl your fingers back to feel for gills. If there's any gills there...

Make like you're going to kiss him. That's the best way to do it. Because he'll always accept a kiss on the back. I would. The most important thing is do not give him any money because he is going to spend it on a sci-fi epic. Just do not give him anything.

If you happen to have $20-$50 million, do not give it to Kevin Costner. Didn't Costner put up a lot of his own money for the swing vote that came out recently? Oh, God. It was like privately funded by him. I don't know. By Costner Incorporated. He's just doing movies just for shits and giggles. Whatever.

I want to make a movie about a guy, and he just does it. I'll tell you who will fund his next picture my mother-in-law now she doesn't have a lot of money in the bank but whatever she's got she's willing to give to kevin to the cause of further kevin costner i think everybody's mother-in-law likes kevin costner i think that's the appeal absolutely why wouldn't you that's a point. That is a very good point. What about Costner? What about Costner? Okay, so... Do you guys have a favorite movie? Do you have like a movie

that you share? Maybe just make it the movie you guys like. I don't know if Shannon would like Sex Drive. It would be a good last name. Yeah. I didn't catch that. Sorry. I think she said Sex Drive. I think Sex Drive. I think she said sex drive I think sex drive I think that's going to be a great movie

Not just a movie that you saw recently I think Jordan was looking more specifically Yeah, something that's special to you guys It's got to stay in the test of time because right after Porky's 2 I was really excited about those people and what they were doing Okay, then Shannon and Greg licensed to drive Okay

I'm not to not let her talk anymore for a while. Well, I think one movie that kind of sticks out to me was one of the first movies that we saw together. No, not Last Samurai and not Once Upon a Time in Mexico,

but actually the Hudsucker Proxy. The Rolling O. Wait, why would you think that we... The Hudsucker Proxy is Uh-huh. The Rolling O. Wait, why would you think that we... The Hudsucker Proxy is a great movie. I have a quick question, though. Why would he think that we would presume that one of the first movies they saw together was The Last Samurai? Yeah, here's...

Okay, here's what I think. If I could break down... No, no, I was saying that for Shannon's benefit. If I can kind of maybe break down, I think, the joke that he was going for was that, like, no, it wasn't these two hoity-toity film school movies, but that joke would only work if you said, like, no, not Last Samurai, Resident Evil. But Hutsuka Proxy is a reasonably intelligent movie.

Also, The Last Samurai isn't. No, no. Well, we went to the Last Samurai and Once Upon a Time in Mexico to basically just make out. Oh. Yeah, you're going to want to do that at revivals. Do you guys still make out?

Oh, no, the Last Samurai is that Tom Cruise movie. Never mind. I was totally thinking it was something else. Yeah, you were thinking of The Last Emperor, probably. Tom Cruise. Oh, and Once Upon a Time in Mexico is that... Okay, I just thought... Yeah. Whatever. What I just thought... Whatever.

What I said was total crap. I did not understand. I did not know what those movies were. This man is giving you a name. I want to make that clear. I don't even know that Last Samurai is a dumb Tom Cruise movie. Well, maybe we should give them the name of somebody really admirable, like from history or something, like Lumumba.

Yeah. You know? The song? Oh, wait, no. No, the major historical figure. That no Americans know. Right now. You wouldn't know that.

We're from Nebraska. Hit Wikipedia. Who's a great Nebraskan? Are there great Nebraskans? Well, there's the Fondos. I think Marlon Brando lived here for about 10 months. Swoozie Kurtz. Swoozie Kurtz. Swoozie.

The guy who invented Kool-Aid. There's a comedian whose name we won't mention. He has a profession about cable. Oh, sure, sure. You don't talk about him. And then, of course, Warren Buffett. The Sage of Omaha, I think is what they call him. Yeah, the Sage of Omaha.

That's absolutely correct. He thinks that you should be brave when others are fearful and fearful when others are brave. It's easy to do that when you have a bajillion dollars. Yeah, exactly. Thanks for the advice, Warren. Extraordinarily lucky. Step one, get rich. Now, this is a sincere suggestion, and it's not to you two.

It's to my co-hosts here, Lincoln. What do you think? I'm all about presidents i just want to name everything after a good president why does it have to be a good president good presidents have tons of things so you think maybe taft are you thinking taft i'm a taft fan because william harrison only supreme court justice and president what was ke Kline's name in the movie Dave? What's his last name in Dave? That's one of my favorite presidents.

Your last name should be Sigourney Weaver. Hyphenated. Yeah, Sigourney. Your child should be Chad Sigourney Weaver. There's two other hyphenated names. But if you hyphenate, then if your kid is a professional athlete, his jersey will have to be curved. Yeah. I I always hate.

I don't think that's a concern. We're both in theater. I think we're going to be producing athletes. I don't know. Sigourney Weaver is even better. They like to rebel. These guys are the leading lights of Omaha's legendary, vibrant theater

community. Listen, if 20 years from now I open up the calendar section and I see a story about a hot, young, new actor or actress and their last name is Sigourney Weaver hyphenated, I will A, shit myself, and then B, find Jordan and Jesse and kiss them both in the mouth. Sweet. Looking forward to that.

I'm guaranteed that I will defecate on myself and kiss two men. I want to be clear. I think when Greg and Shannon say they're in a theater, they're in the theater, what they mean is they're doing staged productions of episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They're working up to the musical episode. Isn't The Faint from Omaha?

Yeah. That's a pretty good band, huh? Thanks, Jordan. What about... Oh! I got a good one. I got a good one. Rocket.

Yeah. What do you think of Rocket? Like Charles Rocket, the short-lived Saturday Night Live cast member who later committed suicide. You could spell it like the Herbie Hancock song. Oh, R-O-C-K-I-T.

Yeah. I like that. Giving it a little edge. Rocket. I think that's really good. I like Rocket. What do you think, Jordan? Yeah, you know, I kind of like that idea of something cool that could conceivably, though,

that isn't just like a non-last name like Rocket or Spade or something like that. Yeah, I don't want to give them like a fakey name. I want to give them something that seems like it could be a name. I like Rocket, R-O-C-K-I-T. What do you think? I think that's

actually one of our favorite words. Greg? Is it? I think Shannon Rocket sounds like a total badass name. Shannon Rocket. I should know something about knives. Just to be clear here, I was asking Jordan and Nick, not you two. You guys are involved in the actual deliberation. Quiet down.

Jeez. Blah, blah, blah. We're in the theater. Okay. What do you think, Jordan? You on board with Rocket? I'm trying to think of one. Nope. it let's do it rocket roc and i like nick's addition to spell it the herbie hancock way and check this out they can play that at their wedding reception yeah that could be the That's my awful scratching.

Okay, well, it's done. Are you guys on board? Rocket, R-O-C-K-I-T. I think it is the strongest suggestion we've had yet. Bill and Tina Rocket. That sounds nice. So they're actually, it's funny that I ask that question, because they're actually obligated to name themselves Rocket now, legally.

I will sue. It's under Creative Commons. It's a little known. I will. Very complicated. Very complicated. John Edwards has been calling me every day asking if he can do something, anything for me, because I'm the only person who voted for him who's still friends with him.

I feel embarrassed to tell him that I'm not really friends with him anymore, and I'm kind of embarrassed now that I chose him. So, you know, this would give me like a task to give him to get him off my back to sue you if you guys don't name yourselves Rocket. That's a long way of saying that... Just name yourselves. Just name yourselves Rocket. Unless you want trouble. Well, Greg and Shannon, thank you so much.

Greg and Shannon, the future Mr. and Mrs. Rocket, thank you so much for sharing your time with us. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your time with us. Thank you. Thank you very much. I figured Shannon would say thank you, too, but she's already checked out. I was leaning in for her. Oh, sorry. Thank you.

She's boiling resentment like that other lady that was on our show that we alienated. Oh, jeez. What are we doing? I think that was fine. Okay, good. Let's just take our firstborn's name so it can't be Rocket Rocket. She's distracted. She's distracted.

She's trying to memorize her lines for the Buffy State show. There's always Sigourney Weaver Rocket. She's playing Angel. Take it to the next level. Sigourney Weaver Rocket? I just really like Sigourney Weaver. It's Rocket. It's settled. Take it to the next level. Rooney Weaver rocket? I just really like the Rooney Weaver. It's rocket.

It's settled. We have to go now. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Do you guys think they should make another Aliens movie? Shut up. Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, Morris, boy detective. Nick, repeat Adams. Nice. That's good. That's really nice.

See how nice it feels to not be a dick and fuck around? Stuck the landing. See how nice that feels? Way to go, repeat. Atta boy, Pete. Way to go, Petey. Now it's already part of your repertoire. It's in your brain now.

I'm glad you're not a muffin like Jordan. You really... Strike her to the line. You really legged it. You showed a little ginger just now. Well, baseball, huh? Fellas, baseball. Only baseball. On the program, we ask our listeners to call in when something momentous happens to them.

It's a segment we call Momentous Occasions. This is what we've got. Gentlemen, Momentous Occasion. I own two dogs, a large one and a small one, and we often walk them together. And the big dog finally inadvertently peed all over the small dog while stopping at a rosemary bush. That's important. That's good. That's the kind of momentous stuff. He's been waiting with bated breath. Big dog to pee on the little dog.

Like an eight-year-old girl who can't wait for Kit Kittredge and American Tail to come out. You see what I'm saying? Got you. Did you know Kit Kittredge has a big subplot about hobos? Little known fact. Hey, Jordan and Jesse. It's Friday night or Saturday morning.

It's 3 o'clock, and I'm in a part of town where there's a lot of bars and everybody's kind of just trying to walk home, and there's this guy who's walking towards me, staring at me, and I stared at him because I got really nervous. And I'm not from this town, and where I'm from, if somebody's staring at you and it's 3 in the morning,

you're going to have to fight them. So, like, he passes me, and then with my peripheral vision, I could see he stopped right after we passed each other. And I turn around and I look at him, expecting to get in a fight, and he takes off his headphones and looks at me and says, Do you have a nice dick? Way to leave us hanging. Yeah, right? Do you?

It's like the beginning of a short story. Yeah. Well, it's like the beginning of a bullshit story where we don't find out how nice his dick is. That's what short stories are like. That's a good point. I'd like to hear some girth details. Yeah. Well, it's not just about girth, Jordan. Sometimes.

Show us how much you know about sex, Jesse. It's mostly about... Never mind. Okay. Hi, I'd like to report a momentous occasion. My name is Lala, and I have a tiny chihuahua named Miss Idaho, and I've had her for about seven years,

and this whole time, she's one of those dogs that jumps up, jumps real high when she gets excited. All this time, I've always dreamt that one day she would jump into my arms, because wouldn't that be cute? And she's never done it, and I've always been a little sad about that. And today, I got home from work,

and I was listening to your podcast on my headphones. And my neighbor was outside his house with his dog, which is a Jack Russell charrier. And his dog, his name is Chazzy, ran up to me, and Chazzy jumped right up into my arms, and I totally caught her. That's fulfilling a several-year dream of mine. I believe this is all thanks to listening to Jordan Jesse Go. Thanks a lot. Most good things that happen to someone are because of Jordan Jesse Go. I mean, Nick, just remember how fucked up your life was before you came and co-hosted Jordan Jesse Go?

I try not to talk about it too much. Well, I'm going to talk about it a little bit. You were drinking a lot of fortified wine. You were wearing rags for clothes. Literally rags for clothes. Yes. Literally rags. Not that you were wearing clothes that you had been wearing so long that they had become rag-like.

No, not like post-Incredible Hulk, like when he would calm down. No, this was a situation where you would have, I'm guessing, you had gone to an auto parts store, like gone to an auto parts store and gotten real shop, actual shop rags, and stitched them into a kind of makeshift

i don't know it's actually more expensive to do that than just buy clothes that's how yeah it's how off your judgment was for which i blame the fortified wine to be honest with you you know what i mean some connection but look at you now nick look how successful you are now. I have an entire shirt on. You've got real clothes, a lovely wife. You live in one of the most beautiful neighborhoods in Los Angeles, Beverly Grove. Girthy penis. West 3rd. You're well known for your penis, Girth. Around the neighborhood.

Okay, okay, okay. Another call. Hey, Jordan. Hey, Jesse. This is Roxanne from New York. I'm calling for a momentous occasion. Well, the other day I was having sex with my boyfriend, and we do a lot, but your podcast happened to be on, and I had an orgasm.

It was just such a momentous occasion, I have to tell you. And I was wondering, I was considering perhaps it was because the podcast is on, but I don't know. I'll have to try again. And yeah, Chip Dixon and Dick Dotson for president, that's not funny. It's not a joke. It's not intended to be funny. No, it's intended to be what's best for America.

Okay, let's talk for a second about what happened to this. She sounded like a brassy dame, like Jennifer Jason Leigh in Hudsucker Proxy. Podgasm she had. Did you notice that she she podgasm that's something that would be bandied about on the yahoo podcasters group i wonder when or maybe that's what maxim's podcast is yeah podgasm tech talk the latest gadgets they just happened they were hanging out listening to podcasts things got a little hot and heavy and all of a sudden shit started popping off elvis mitchell has a sexy fucking voice i know

kidding elvis is serious i know you can just you can just imagine how did you read that news about elvis mitchell getting getting uh stopped at the border with twenty thousand dollars in a cigar box serious what yeah what's that guy up to twenty thousand dollars in a cigar box maybe it was ten thousand dollars it was i maybe it was two boxes of ten thousand dollars right because you got to split it up you don't want to if you get pinched yeah you don't want to catch all all, you know. Wait, but I do think, in all sincerity and all jokes aside, it's definitely the podcast that led to you having that orgasm. I'm not entirely sure we can replicate it, because it is about resonances.

It's about sine waves. What it's like is, you know, if all the soldiers march in time across the bridge, if you have the right harmonics, the bridge collapses. I don't know if you guys are familiar with this little physics nugget. Sure. You know, actually, this is something I actually studied in college a little bit. Made up shit? Oh, that's right.

I forgot you were an English major. So, and, you know, and maybe we accidentally hit this frequency at some point during whatever episode you guys were listening to. But I mean, I can... Here's what I'm trying to say. Ladies, if you're having a problem, just turn up the radio now. And I'm going to just write, Jesse, up here. Okay. Do that.

I'll open it. Okay. Good night, ladies. Good night, ladies. Nick, I'm going to make you take the middle. Good night, ladies. We're going to say good night. Hold it just a few more seconds

That's all you get Many more We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse, Go! It's Jordan, Jesse, Go! I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart Jordan Morris, boy detective. Nick, repeat Adams. From time to time on the show, we like to offer our listeners a moral compass.

Someone who's said to hell with the gray area. It's Jesse Thorne with Hang It Up and Keep It Up. Hang it up. You know you got to hang it up. You two know you got luck. Hang it up. When you're on your own. Hang it up. Cause you can't be timing. Hang it up.

Cause you should be striving. Hang it up. Guinea pig. Guinea pigs don't do anything besides make an annoying noise and bite your finger. Hang it up, guinea pig. Guinea pigs don't do anything besides make an annoying noise and bite your finger. Hang it up, guinea pig. Hang it up, wildcat. The only thing wildcats are good for is replacing something racist as a school mascot. Hang it up, wildcats.

Hang it up, crow. Too smart for a bird, probably up to something. Hang it up, crow. Hang it up, reindeer. Too seasonal. Hang it up, reindeer. Hang it up, reindeer. Too seasonal. Hang it up, reindeer. Hang it up, canary. Is there anything good

about a canary? Hey, canary, you know, parrots can talk. What's your fucking problem? Hang it up, canary. We hope you enjoyed Hang It Up.

Please stay tuned for Keep It Up, which starts now. Keep it up. Please don't let me down. Keep it up. We can't miss the heat. Work with this. Get on down. Keep it up.

Keep it up, Grizzly Bear. Beautiful, but deadly. Especially if you threaten her cubs. So, let that be a lesson to you. Keep it up, Grizzly Bear. Keep it up, Goat. Easily the funniest petting zoo animal. Goats can, and more importantly, will eat anything keep it up goats keep it up jeroba

i found jerboa on a list of animals and it sounds great keep it up jerboa keep it up mountain goat already the funniest animal in the petting zoo only now it can stand on a tiny rocky outcropping now that's what i call an animal keep it up mountain goat keep it up lovebird this animal is named after our greatest emotion love i love you lovebird you are the best of animals keep it up lovebird this has been hang it up and keep it up word. This has been Hang It Up and Keep It Up. Love you longer. Love you, love you, love you. Love you, love you, love you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

I'm Nick. Repeat Adams. Jordan, thusly does another Jordan, Jesse Goh program draw to a satisfying close. Very satisfying. Isn't that good? Don't you feel satisfied? Don't you feel like your humors have been exhausted? Yes.

Like you've expelled all of your phlegmatic humors? Yeah, definitely got rid of some of that black bile that was building up. You did have an excess of black bile. Your shit was super imbalanced. Can I say something really cool? You may. I made some borscht the other day. Sure. pile. Your shit was super imbalanced. Can I say something really cool? You may. I made some borscht the other day. Sure. Man,

does that make your excretions an amazing color. I don't want to get gross here. Too late. Yeah, you did. You had us think about the color of your shit. Congratulations. No. That's the line. My excretions in general. I made orange pee-pee. It gives you orange pee-pee.

Well, I'm glad you say pee-pee, too. That's also pretty amazing. A married man saying pee-pee. Okay, if you have any momentous occasions to share with us or anything else you want to talk with us about, you can always give us a call, 206-984-4FUN. 206-984-4FUN 206-984-4FUN I don't have any special action items planned for this week you got anything Jordan you know what we need a project I want to hear I want to hear some good ideas for a project that we can all do together as Jordan Jesse

go people nigger you thinking about it I I am. You looked so intense, I felt like you were about to say something really important. I had a little suggestion for a project. It is based on the hypothesis that old men have bizarre things in their pockets, so you should go around to old men and ask them to show you what's in their pocket. I kind of like that. Yeah, me too. Is that harassing? Is that harassment?

Yeah, a little bit. Are we taking advantage of old people if we do that? And this came from a young lady who said this to me. And I imagine that if you're a young lady and you go up to an older guy and say, What's in your pockets? He's kind of happy to oblige. But if you're some dude, which I think is probably most of our audience... No, it is not.

Our audience is some dude. There's ladies, too. I mean, obviously, they call in and stuff like that. But I think it's probably most of our audience. No, it is not. Our audience is some dude. There's ladies, too. I mean, obviously they call in and stuff like that, but I think it's probably some dude. Our audience is like half lady. Well, I'm saying it's easier for that half of the audience. Okay. Nick, so...

And old ladies will not show you what's in their purse, so it does not go both ways. If you think there's a better project that we can do than harassing the elderly. They got nothing else going on. That's right. There's two, like, if you do that, if you ask an old guy what he has in his pockets,

there's only going to be two responses. One, the guy's going to be like, well, I got nothing else going on. Sure, I'll show you what's in my pockets. Or the other, he's just going to be annoyed. And if he's annoyed, he's one of those old people who's just annoyed anyway. Nick, speaking of not having much to do, you're a stand-up comic.

You're usually at the improv here in Los Angeles when you're performing? I wouldn't say usually. I've been at the improv from time to time. Where can people see your stand-up comedy performances?

The Tomorrow Show. Nick, you have a MySpace with its schedule on it, right? Yeah, sure. Nick Adams 2 I think is what MySpace is. Or you can just go to Nick Adams Web, which is my website. Nickadamsweb.com is where your entertaining blog is.

Yeah, my semi-entertaining... Where you tilt at windmills. That's right. The biggest ones possible. Specifically, the legalization of marijuana. But see, that windmill is so incredibly fun to tilt towards. Because you're high the entire time. Yeah.

It's not that big of a deal. Legalize it, don't. Either way, I'm getting it. Oh man, okay, so we'll see you next week on Jordan, Jesse, go!