Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Flew’d Out, with Dulcé Sloan

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

On this week’s episode, we welcome comedian, actor, and podcaster, Dulcé Sloan, to chat about public access television, coloring books, her podcast (Chasing K-Dramas), seeing Earth from space, and more!See Dulcé on tour!See Chasing K-Dramas - Live Podcast with Dulcé Sloan & Chrissy Choi at the Hollywood Improv in Los Angeles on September 1st! Pre-order Jordan’s new Predator comic!Pre-order Jordan’s new Venom comic!Donate to Al Otro Lado, any amount helps right now.Buy signed copies of Youth Group and Bubble from Mission: Comics And Art!~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~Be sure to get our new ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store.Or, grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug!The Maximum Fun Bookshop!Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes!Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On.Follow brand new producer, Steven Ray Morris, on Instagram.Listen to See Jurassic Right!

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Undo the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne. America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. It's the waning days of summer as we record this, Jordan. I feel like I have not done anything summer-ish other than that swim class at the pool. That's pretty good, though.

You know, that's like, that's very, you know, that, that's about a summary as it gets. So I think you can just like go a whole summer without barbecue and, you know, without taking out the ATVs like you love to do. Because you took the swim class. Do you think, now something, something we learned the last time you talked about the swim class, which I have not followed up on, was that you didn't learn how to use your arms. No, we really only focused on kicks And even the kick lessons were limited in scope I did not yeah So what are the next steps for you

Jesse Thorne swimmer Is it a great question Is it learning to use the arms Are you gonna have you gone back to get in the pool Just on your own You know outside the class Jordan I have a hard time doing anything Where I'm not showing up

on behalf of someone else. If I don't have an activity planned, like where someone is going to be there and they'll be upset that I didn't show up, I will just sit here and either play out of the park baseball or read the New York Times on the computer and get weirder and matter for six, eight hours a day. In fact, I am, as we speak,

I am, we are recording remotely because I am condolessing. from COVID-19, and I'm feeling fine, don't worry America, but I, like, cleared my schedule of work, regular work things, non-recording work things. And I have just been, I was like, I'm going to use this time to, like, watch movies or, like, practice my Spanish. And what I've done is just sit here, play out of the park baseball, uh, and stare at the newspaper, uh, while getting more and more upset. out of the park baseball is that something you can beat does it have an end jordan i have won 57 manager of the year awards congratulations so that's what all those trophies behind you

are for i was kind of wondering so this one is the podcast hall of fame and then the other 57 our manager of the year trophies from out of the park baseball i just thought are jesse's kids getting lazy and just giving you a world's best dad trophy every Here's the thing, too, like, there's no, I get no joy from out of the park baseball at this point. Like, once you win your 57th manager of the year award, it, it is a meaningless exercise. It's like I'm playing, it's like one of those people that's playing, you know, angry birds or fruit crush on their phone on the subway. And you just see the vacant look in their eyes. I have that, and it is called Marvel Snap, and it is something that I think about replacing or deleting daily.

Uh-huh. And then I play just one more, and then I feel the, like, brain-smoving properties of this Marvel comics-themed battling card game, where the rounds are all, like, two or three minutes, and just, like, so satisfying. You get a little haptic feedback when you put down a card. is it like magic the gathering or something yeah it is i think that's the yeah that's the analog but like very simplified you get so many little chits and bits i've been playing this thing for three years and i do not know what what the resources do you get blue gems you get pink star gems you get collector points collector tokens and i'm like i don't know what these are i need as many of them as i can get there's a part of me that wants to rage at

against the dying of the light that wants to say, you software engineers will not control my mind. Yes. I don't care how many A-B tests you run. Right. I am my own person and I will control my own life. And then there is a part of me. I'll get my dopamine the old-fashioned way.

Exactly. By running up to the edge of a cliff and then stopping. Exactly. Making a little poof of dust. no I mean there is also a part of me that just wants to be a living zombie I like I think about deleting this meaningless card game all the time but like I the thing that stops me is that like my trips to the bathroom will be so much less pleasurable I genuinely look forward to that bathroom Marvel snap time Jordan imagine if you're you had two dogs and three children that were constantly, like, every time I turn a corner in my house, one of my deeply beloved, beautiful, wonderful autistic children corners me to tell me about their special interest. And it doesn't matter whether I have to go be at that moment. I am going to hear

about larping. Sure. What happens in the Shark Nato sequels? I'm going to hear. I'm going to hear about who should win the NBA MVP this year. And it doesn't matter how much I back away. I just have to be like, the only way to escape is to be like, thank you, goodbye, turn around and run. Right. So that bathroom time to me, I mean, I'm starting to sound like Tim Allen or something. That bathroom time to me. Do you want to try the grunt? Do you want to try the grunt? Do you? No, I don't. Come on. I know. I don't want to do. I don't want it to. No. Stephen, insert some grunts. No, don't insert the grunts. And don't insert any light homophobia either.

Okay, anyway. Stephen, insert some stuff about how you can't say anything on college campuses anymore. No, George. And make it sound like Jesse is saying. Don't put that in. Don't put that in. Steve, you can't stop me. I think you can say whatever you want on college campuses as long as you're respectful of others.

They're perspective on the world. No. Oh, Stephen, don't. Rat, root, rat. Anyway, let's introduce our guest. Yeah. Our guest on the program is a brilliant stand-up comic. You know her from The Daily Show.

You know her from, I just, I didn't, I didn't know about this credit. Hosting the Central Time Zone New Year's celebration with Don Lemon. Okay. So I'm in the Pacific Time Zone, so I missed that. But I was excited to read about it, excited to hear all about it. also got a brand new podcast about Korean dramas, which I'm excited to hear about that, not least because there's a Korean baseball drama that I hear I should be watching. Dulce Sloan, hi, Dulce. How are you? Welcome to the program.

Hello, hello, hello. I can't say that Tim Allen did disappoint us all. Yes. But we had so much faith in him. We had so much faith in him. But it also, he was already already a snitch. So it wasn't. surprising he does have one of my favorite home improvement was my favorite show because i was you know a kid in the 90s and i was paying attention um and we were all taken in by jonathan tay thomas until we found out he wasn't going to get any taller um and there was secretary tie brian all the way and then he started looking weird as a grown up real anthony michael hall situation that's why that's why we're here to rate the home improvement hunks absolutely and then

the youngest one was like all right we're fine mark because he had three names and nobody ever remembers what they are but uh i remember Jill was hosting the Christmas pageant at church and the kids had on like these, you know, the choir robes and they had letters on top of them as well as well as the kids were standing in the wrong order. So like Tim walks in to talk to Jill and he's like who's Leon? And it's

I saw that I had to be 11 years old and it's still one of the funniest things to me because like sometimes just the psych gag because it's like to watch somebody take something in. Also like I think about like now that I'm older and then like in the industry It's like someone was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just have them staying in a wrong order. Like, I don't know they're like, no, just trust me.

Don't overthink this. We don't, this hat does not need a hat. Just have the kids spell something different. It's just no-l backwards. It's all it is. Do you say, I think I remember a gag from this episode. Let me know if you, if this is like one of those that like lodged itself in my 11-year-old brain was at some point in this.

So Tim had his long-suffering assistant, Al, Al Borland. True. And isn't, at some point in this episode, don't they sing No Al to the tune of No-L? And it gets Al really mad? Probably. If we're leaning into this No-L bit, that makes absolute sense. Also, is Richard Karn safe? All right.

Because I know they had some show shifting gears. They were talking about like Richard Richardson and the girl who played Debbie, all of them supposed to be like on the show that he has um called shifting gears but uh that's beside the point what a very interesting but again he was a snitch in the 70s you know he was like like a drug snitch right like he got caught for drugs and rolled over on his partner he rolled like a dog in a movie dogs always roll we're talking about we're talking about off screen treats just outside the frame listen there's a roll puppy. dog you can get this little dried piece of beef um but crazy that he snitched on his friend for a

dried piece of beef this guy love organ meat it is interesting because like if he tried to do that like you think about like married with children and like al having that no ma'am thing or was like a push back against feminism right yeah al but al bundy the other greatest 90s sitcom al right he and his like dumb buddies from the shoe store had a like secret society in Al's garage called no ma'am where they complained about women and their logo was like the you know woman sign crossed out right but I remember they tried to have like a public access TV show and there was these like hot girls that were a band and they would cut to something and they would do like this quick retard riff and a girl would say something that was like d-d-d-dun-dun-dun-din-din-din-din-d beer

and then it would just cut to them and I was like, this is a sitcom. This is what we're doing. This is what we're doing. This makes sense to me because you know it made a lasting impression because I'm like,

I'm 42 years old. And I still remember this. Also, there were sometimes, I'm like, I don't think I'm all enough to watch this show. There were certain, but yeah, so like I said, anyway, it's like sometimes those little gags

and you don't think they're going to make like a, you know, a little grow in your brain situation. I still remember, no owl and like yeah i but i also have like family members who i don't know how many kids they have but i still remember no owl most of my brain is taken up by a canadian children's television program that ran on pbs called today's special that took place in a department store after the department store closed and there was a

security guard who was a puppet and he liked to eat jelly bean sandwiches. Yeah, there you go. And there was also a terrifying mannequin that came to life that was a human woman and her name was Jody. I thought you were going to say the Red Green Show. Oh, tell me about, yeah, I don't remember the Red Green Show. So it's funny. I think it's actually like a channel on like Fire Sick or something. So it was a show on Canadian television about this man.

named Red Green and who, it was like a, it was like his own film TV show. And basically it was like if rednecks were Canadian. Okay. And so. I think they often, I think they are more often than we, than we think. Yeah. I haven't been to Calgary. I'm going to tell you some Canadians are rednecks. Listen, and I've been to Winnipeg and I've never been somewhere when I'm like, why did I use my passport to basically go to Detroit. Yeah. I was like, if it wasn't for the Tim Hortons,

that I thought I was in the Midwest. Oh, honey, we have Detroit at home. We have Detroit at home. We have McDonald's at home. So. And the buildings are prettier. Oh, the place is nuts. But yeah, so basically the TV show.

So he would do stuff like, hey, you need to run. You're trying to get in shape, but your treadmill's broken. Just hook this, uh, sand, hook the belt of the treadmill up to the, the back wheel of your van and then that's how you'll be able to work out and so he had a guy he had like a nephew who was like very silly so it was like it was basically like a public access show but he was like a

fisherman it was like a man's man type of thing but he was like i remember television commercials for this in the vein of dorf on golf like uh commercials for this where you could buy the vhs tapes by calling an 800 number right so it was like if think of it like peewey's playhouse but for what like outdoors meant so he would have like little so there was like it was a guy who would come on who was give advice who was who was on first nations and so he would be like oh red well if you're hunting you know if you're hunting elk you do it like this and so he he was like he was a straight man and everyone coming in was a disaster and they lived in a small town and like, I guess, Edmonton, Canada or somewhere like that.

But anyway, so, yeah, but it came on PBS on, like, Saturdays. So it was, like, all, like, the British, like, the Britcoms and then the Red Green Show would come on. Yeah, there, there's a real sort of blind, speaking as a public broadcaster myself, National Public Radio, join your local NPR station. We need the money. Please. Speaking as a public broadcaster myself, there's a real blind spot on public television with regard to imported television where they like if you are trying to make an American program it had better be

about molecular biology or like you know the history of slavery in America or something real important but if if you are selling out of syndication a British television show it can be just a guy getting his dick cut off by an airplane propeller and someone lifting their wig up and down in surprise. And they're totally fine with that. As someone whose favorite TV show as a kid was Red Dwarf. Oh, yeah. Because of PBS.

And I remember meeting Phil Wang at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. And I told him this. And he was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, how did you see this? I was like, public television in Atlanta. And he was like, why was this your family? I was like, why are you? And he was telling the other British comics that this is my favorite show.

I was like, why is it such a big deal? He's like, because in my mind, he's like, that's like you're saying your favorite show is King of Queens. And I was like, first of all, don't do Lee a Remedy like that, okay? Thank you. Thank you. First and foremost, watch your mouth, Philip Wang. Second.

Pat and Oswald was on that show. Gave Patton Oswald a job for a long time. A long time. Shout out, you know, shout up to Pat and Oswald. But yeah, Reddworth was a great show. who knew that a light-skinned black man in space would have so many genetics. They said it couldn't be done.

They said three million years in the future. And it's just like, also I think as a kid because I was a Star Trek kid, right? And so just to think about like, because I think as a human, because I were watching PBS, and I think as a human, if you really start thinking about how big space is,

I think it breaks your brain. Because they say like people, there's like, I don't know what it's called. but like people who like this happens to astronauts sometimes like they'll see earth from space it low key does break your brain because it's like oh that's the whole thing dole say are you saying you got that experience from watching red dwarf on PBS i got this from like from watching red dwarf and then from watching all like nova and all the science shows on PBS it was like space is too big because it don't stop

space don't stop can't stop it's not like because even if you're in the ocean like eventually you're hit land like if you're on land eventually you'll hit the ocean you see what I'm saying so can't stop won't stop like state property exactly like just it's space be doing what space be doing you know what I mean so give me a PBS show that's it ain't space me doing if you can do that with a British accent you're on space be doing but space be doing beautiful Can I tell you, I on my NPR program, interviewed a famous astrophysicist. I shan't say whom. But does he also have three names?

I shan't say whom, Doolsey. Let me just say he doesn't have a voice synthesizer and leave it at that. He's a famous astrophysicist who does not speak with a voice synthesizer. So not T-Pay. No, it's actually Roger Troutman. Okay. just making sure it's a talk box not a yeah so not that's a guy who did this on computer love no no okay so uh i wasn't zapped for a while um but that's a long story i was talking to this

famous famous astrophysicist and i essentially asked him do you ever think about how space be doing what space be doing which is to say i was like when you're talking me about space like i get nervous when I'm at the beach and I look at the ocean and I think about how far it goes and how deep it is, right? And I'm like, when you're looking at or thinking about space, do you have that feeling? Because to me, the vast emptiness of space is deeply unsettling. And this famous astrophysicist, who turned out to be somewhat of a creep, this was after I interviewed the movie that we learned, he was a little bit of a creep. But this famous astrophysicist just fucking mocked me.

And I'm like, you're supposed to be all about educating the public. You'd come up with something comforting to tell me when my moment of existential crisis. Sassy me. Your fucking vests. My first glimpse into the void, Yan can cook. Oh, yeah, sure. You know, I love to show that's frugal gourmet. And once again, turned out to be a creep.

Turned out to be a creep. Yeah, Jan's okay, right? Yens. Yans, no, Jan's golden. He's fine. He's doing lives on TikTok. He's the reason that to this day, me and my brother go, look at that. Look at that.

Because he'll be cooking, right? And so he didn't put that corn starch on this beef or this shrimp to make it crispy. And it'll be beautiful and he'll go, look at that. And I think that's what drove me crazy, like feeling like a little piece of corn starch on a big piece beef, you know. Yeah. I've always wanted to silk you, Jordan, for texture. Well, I think it's so funny because it's like, I think, and this is going to be, I think because I grew up,

I think because I'm a black woman and there's so many times that I've been made to feel small because I'm black and because I'm a woman and being made to feel like I'm excluded. that I don't belong places. I think the vastness of space doesn't intimidate me because the vastness of America, because America's always trying to kill me. You see what I'm saying? Like, men are trying to kill me.

White people are trying to kill me. So, like, always trying to make me feel small, right? So because just on earth and in society, I've been made to feel small, and it doesn't work. work because I have mirrors in my house. And, you know, face car, never climb. You see what I'm saying.

I'm very talented. So, like, it doesn't work. And it's never work. And that's why people hate us because it doesn't work. But I feel like if you're someone who's been made to feel small, it's like space is like, yeah, space big and shit. This makes sense. Like, I don't, that don't bother me.

When it comes to the ocean, the thing, I love the beach. I don't believe, like, a vacation is the beach. If you guys say vacation, you're talking about land. I'm like, I'm not. That ain't mountain. sound crazy. So, like,

it's beat, or if it's like, but if it's like a little wintertime trip, mountains make sense to me because the beach you can't get in the water when it's cold.

So, are you willing to hit the slopes? I've never been given the opportunity. I'll say this. Uh, no. Because I'll say, look under your chair. Lift passes.

I got snow. But when it comes to the ocean, the thing that bothers me about the ocean is that I can't just go out and swim in it. Like, it's, I think, like, tall buildings make me think about, like, the mortality of people. So it's like, we've built these things. But once you get over, because a story is only 10 feet.

So once something is over two stories, you can die from falling one story. You can die from falling 10 feet. Sure. Right? And so in my mind is, one, why did we make death machines? Like, why did we make edifices, edificials? that like it's i hate the fact that like humans are so fragile because we keep making things that can kill us like it's like oh man life is so so fragile and so precious let's make cars

why aren't we why aren't we focusing our energy and our resources and our technology on building defensive mecksuits yes sure oh because metal's heavy and hot okay also i thought of body because the thing about armor armor was created in places that were cold right right So, like, when people in hot places went to war, they weren't covered in metal. They had metal. Right. And the beautiful ironwork. It's like tweed.

It's, ultimately, it's most effective in the Scottish highlands. Right. Well, that's crazy because they got skirts on. Insane. So, like, I'm sorry. Kiltz. Disrespect. Yeah.

How dare we? Because we felt like because, like, now TikTok has, uh, the black people of TikTok, the black Americans of TikTok saw our first black Scottish person. And he's a beautiful man with gorgeous locks. He's beautiful, like, dark skin. because no one has more beautiful skin than a dark-skinned person. They're so gorgeous. And he's just talking about, I don't know, working out or some shit.

I couldn't hear him because my ovaries were talking too loud. And so then that led to all of us finding a bunch of other Black Scottish people. And now we're on here like, we're like, cousin. They're like, yeah, we're cousins. We're like, of course your cousins. What are you talking about? And so let's like, okay, when's the trip? When we're planning this trip, let's go?

Because, you know, the Black Brits have been beefing with us, and we truly do not care. so wait so there's hold on hold on are the are the black britons beefing with the scots or beefing with african americans african americans so this is uh because you know black british people don't call themselves english they call themselves british and then the black scots you know they don't go by british because the brits invaded right scotland is not crazy scotland is has a has mixed feelings at best about the british empire because it is part of Great Britain. So like when I was in England, like, shooting a TV show two years ago, I said on Twitter, how am I in England, Great Britain, and the United Kingdom all at the same time,

girl, where am I at? And it got 11 years. I'm sure you got responses to that. I'm sure. Oh, it got. It's a 11 million people saw. Perhaps a Minchie or two. A little bit. So I just I found this craft store. I go in there because like, also this was during COVID. So we couldn't really go out and explore and stay in the flat, that they had gotten. Okay, all right. Your story. You're still. Oh, yeah.

This checks out. Colonization. And so I had to, and so I just was this innocuous thing that I put on Twitter, blah, blah, blah, blah. I look up, it's got 11 million views. It's got a thousand replies, right? Oh, my. And the replies can be broken down in a three-caddle. They were all good, right?

Everyone was happy, and they just saying they liked the post. Cour encouraging and just what a blessing. So I got broken out in three categories. The first category was people truly trying to explain it to me, right? Oh, boy. I was so many maps. Yeah. Right.

And I think that's what, when you put up a joke, that's what you want. Clarification. Exactly. Jokes, yes. People are words. Can you unjoke this, you say to the world? And they say, indeed. Let us untangle that it might be no more funny.

Social media is just for accurate statements. It's only the truth. We all know you can only put the truth on the Internet, right? So the first one was people send to me, maps trying to explain it to me. The second category was people being like, oh, dumb American, they don't know stuff, right? The third category was people going,

I didn't want to run the same thing. Like, that was my favorite one. All caps. All caps. I haven't tried to figure this out for years, right? And then a black red tweeted back, she said, think of it like a first name, middle name, and a last name.

And I was like, ah, okay, okay, okay. Honestly, that's the clearest I've ever heard it explain. Clear as I've ever heard it because it's like, you know, it's like it's, I know that these are all what this, what this entails, right? Because England's a country by itself and then there's countries in Great Britain that are not part of the United Kingdom and then there's a United Kingdom, right? I get that this is all a different thing. But when you get there, you're just like, man, this place is little as shit.

Like everything. Like, if you took a suburban down the street in London, And you would destroy homes. You're like, we drove, we drove 10 minutes and people talk completely differently now. Yeah. And they have a weird complaint about the people 10 minutes down the other way. Right. Because it like, because it's also there is just Britain.

And so the people, so there was this thing like a couple years ago, it was like, oh, the Americans, they don't have passports. It don't go anywhere. And then this British guy got on his TikTok. keep, it's like, y'all are only saying this because y'all have no idea how big America is. Yeah, we can't take a train to another continent, you know? If I draw, if you drive two hours out of France, you could be in like, if you don't fight out of, like, a flight, because this is how I didn't understand. One, they, Africa is the wrong size on maps. They make it smaller than it is, right?

So two, if you fly, L.A. to New York is like five hours, right? London to Tel Aviv is five hours. So I'm like, so once I, because the lady told me, I was like, what are you? Because one of my friends is on it, I was like, what do you? Yeah, listen. Is it tacky that we go to Vegas so much? Sure. It's 39 bucks on Southwest and it takes 45 minutes.

You know, get off our asses. Here's the thing. In England, they're spending their 39 bucks. their 45-minute flight goes to Majorca, sure. And they just go there and get sunburned and come home. I'm sorry I don't have access to beautiful party islands. Yes, you do. It is called Key West.

Listen. I thought you were going to say Catalina. No, I was going to say long. Oh, man. If you remember your trip to Catalina, you didn't go. Oh, me and my brother went on a submarine. So, it was like a little glass bottom. I think it was legit a little submarine thing.

I thought they only had golf carts there. No, we took it from like, I think you took it from like Long Beach to go. Okay. So like years ago, it's like, oh, you could take this kind of like glass bottom submarine. It's like, okay. And then you see all the fishes and then you go through a kelp forest. But like I was just saying that like it's the guy was saying he's like in America. He said you can go to the beach.

You can go to the desert. You can go to basically like you can go to the forest. You can go to mountains. He's like the country. He's like there's multiple clients. And it's like you can go to a legit desert and then go to lush green mountains and you haven't left your country. Although you'll say in England, every town has its own type of cheese. So, okay. Point, point England, I guess.

I can't say as someone who tried to make mac and cheese while I was in England in March, the selection was lacking. Okay, what cheeses were you what cheeses were you trying to find? Were you trying to find like an American for melting? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is like, this is real like baked mac and cheese. You're making a becheel?

I don't know what that means. So, it's like, you know, you make it a cheese sauce. You'll say, me either. Thank you so much. So now I was making like a bag, I guess it could be considered a bashomew which is cheese sauce and then there's real, and there's like, and there's like, Trinity cheese or whatever.

But it was like, I couldn't find no bags of shredded cheese. Then I had to use red, And Leicester tea, it's Leicestershire, Leicester. It's like, sure. That guy. Lloyd Leon. Lloyds. No, Al.

Leon cheese. And so it was a, I was just trying to make a good Christian mac and cheese. And I was trying to give, I was trying to do Southern Baptist and it was giving Anglican. Okay. Is what really was happening. And so, thank you. That's very clear. Thank you.

I'm just here to help. And so like the chicken wings wasn't popping. And then I couldn't find any of my. seasonings was like my grandma's recipe for chicken my family's from Miami uh and so my mom grew in Miami my grandma's from south Georgia right and so we use this like Cuban marinade called mojo creoleo and this is my mother and it's my grandma's like chicken recipe and so I'm in England and I was like of course they don't have a Latin food aisle okay and if they do it's just all of it's just the food of Spain no I need I

I need Caribbean. You're asking for tortillas. They're giving you puffy egg dishes. I'm truly. I'm trying to get a Cuban marinade, right? I was like, ain't no goia, nowhere in here,

and we ain't even fucking goia. Sorry, I know if I'm fucking messed up. Right. So it's okay. You know, we don't mess with boy you no more because, you know,

Gorge guy. Right. So all I wanted, I was like, oh, there's no, I couldn't even find elbow macaron. Right. I don't know what I ended up using and it's like sometimes i was like so it's like it's spaghetti i found another kind of macaroni but

i eventually found something that was close but i was like because i don't care when nobody says straight macaroni don't be doing what elbow macaroni be doing it just right in in england if you order a taco they give you halal meat in an edible napkin yeah it's very unusual strange it's just a swallow it hole too yeah i said taco it's like yeah it's a i was watching british baking show on Netflix and they had like Mexican Week and I remember people that being where I kind of upset about this I was like I don't know why it's just they do everyone else was baked goods why are you mad at this country I mean no one knows no one knows more about Pandolsei than the guy from the Mighty Bush everyone knows that right and they had in

Pandolse was on there and I'm like wow these people are destroying my name um but it was but it was fun to watch because it's just like oh first of all y'all are saying stuff crazy And then it's like, oh, I don't know a dulce, deletche, and I'm like, everybody got to stop. But it's like, y'all was stressing me out. But it's like, oh, but they were like for the technical challenge, they had to make tacos. And they had to make tortillas from scratch, which I've done a bunch of times. But it's like, you've never made tacos? Never made tacos.

And I was like, oh, this is making my back itch. Like, I don't want making some carnage saude. Look at them carnage and saudalga. Here in Proulat, say taco, I was like, I don't know if this was. There's a lot of, there's a lot of. talk on the internet about what are called white people tacos, which is to say this kind of like taco night dish of hard shell tortillas and ground meat with taco seasoning and shredded cheddar cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, which is fine, perfectly fine dish. But when I was in

Northern Europe, I learned that Taco Tuesday is huge in Northern Europe. So like, if you're in Like, I was in Denmark, Sweden, Norway. They all wanted to talk to me about Taco Tuesday. And I don't even, I didn't go out to Taco Tuesday, but I don't want to know what they think a taco is. That is far beyond what I'm comfortable finding out. Why don't black people tacos, instead of using the hard shell, we fry up flour tortillas. That's what we did as kids. So the ingredients, it's just the tortilla is different.

So, like, I didn't know that you could, like, as a kid, I know you could buy those hard shells because the only time he would see them was at Taco Bell or, like, Del Taco. Like, I would never in a store and be like, well, why do it? It's like, like, Ortega was like,

my mother didn't buy that. We bought flour. My mother bought flour tortillas all the time. We got older, we started doing corn. But, like, yeah, as a kid, we like, I didn't really eat. I mean, we weren't, like, bread household with, like, more like tortillas

and rice. And, yeah, like, that was like a snack when I would come home from school. You got, like, a flour tortilla. put like whatever like lunch meat we got as cheese wait hold on lunch meat or like black beans and rice and sausage we're talking about you're talking about like a sliced turkey or like a deli ham yeah or bologna whatever we got a capa cola whatever we would get instead of doing like a bread sandwich you just put uh your deli meats whatever we got on hand right and some cheese

and then make a little like and you like fry the tortilla and oil honestly hand fry deep fry Hand fry. I'm 11, bro. I'm not deep. I don't know. Maybe you have, look, when Jordan, when Jordan and I were in college at Jordan's house, he had a fry daddy. That's true. And a fry daddy's an incredible machine.

And anybody can operate a Friday. And also, I went to college at 11. So I shouldn't have been working that thing. Yeah, Jordan's like a doogie house or guy. We should have explained before we went on the air that Jordan's sort of a doogie house type guy. I was the same guy. Yeah, he's a doogie houseer type guy.

We are kind of approaching the time where we need to take a break, but I kind of just wanted to mention this. Good that we came back to Doogie Houser, the TV of the 90s. Can we all just take a minute and remember a classic Richard Karn's social media post? Is that okay? Can we do that really quick? Sure. I was thinking fondly of when Richard Karn was on Detroiters. He did a great job on Detroiters.

And of course, he was the longtime host of the Family Feud as well. So this is a, this tweet is a picture of... I mean, I think there's only one host of the Family Feud, but... Okay, sorry. Steve Harvey, got you. Steve Harvey. Louis Anderson. Thank you.

So this is a picture of what I'm seeing here is a picture of Richard Karn in a woodpaneled restaurant booth. Yeah. He's wearing a Rolex. He has what looks like a sniffer of brandy in front of him. Gorgeous linen shirt too. Sleeves rolled up. He really looks like, yeah, he looks like he's living it up on vacation somewhere. Yeah.

Very bad oil painting behind him. And then this is, this is what. what it says here. This is from 2022. It says, I fought long and hard about NFTs, and I've decided it's just not something I need to do. Prayer hands, two hearts. I mean, is there, is there, I mean, sometimes I think let's get rid of all social media. Right. Then, then you get this. Sometimes you think, let's make Richard Karn king. Richard Kahn for president. Doolsey, do you know anything about what JTT is up to?

Great question. Last I heard, just living his life. Just out here just like, hey, just respect my privacy. Still not any taller. So I've not, I mean, I haven't texted him lately. And, you know, he hasn't come out with any episodes of the TV show. So I'm not quite sure what the young man has been out in a boot doing. The other day, my social media, I believe it was my Instagram, fed me.

a video that was... Jonathan Taylor, Thomas? So it was a sneaker show with Topanga from Boy Meets World. Who has her own name. I don't remember what it is. And she was talking about exclusive sneakers that they made for home improvement

and that she had been texting Jonathan Taylor Thomas to see if he could find his pair to give to her because she loves sneakers and I was like this is an example of something that is so like

orthogonal to my interests but like could not miss them more completely like it is it very much resembles something I'd be interested in but is the thing in the world that I'm least interested in I think the same time I think I can

relate Jesse you remember the brief period where Reddit was serving me posts from R slash jam bands. Yes, it was exactly that. It's like, I get it. I get it. I understand what you would think that. Sure, yes. But also.

But no thank you, please. No thank you. Okay, let's take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse. Go. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective.

Now, Jordan, every episode of Jordan Jesse Go is supported by the members of Maximum Fun. Are you a member of Maximum Fun, person who is listening? If not, you should become one at Maximumfund.org slash join. If yes, bless you. A thousand may blessings reign upon you and your family. Right, Jordan, rain. Of course. Take your family out.

Into the yard or onto the street, have them open their yaps and receive a rainfall of blessings. Right in their fucking faces. Do you remember when the main thing on the internet that people were interested in was the chocolate rain guy? I do. Yeah. Simpler times. Things have really gotten dark on the internet. Anyway, we're also supported this week by the folks at car gurus. Yes. Jordan, if you're headed out there to buy a car. You don't want to go out there without confidence, without sureness, without information, because you're going to be taken advantage of.

Car gurus helps you step out with confidence. It gives you the best deals, all the details about the vehicles you're considering, and you can make that big buy feeling safe, secure, and happy. I mean, I get confused when I'm out there car shopping. It can be so confusing. A lot of times I'll go out to buy a car and I'll come home realizing I just bought a cinnamon bun. Yeah, I get confused in all kinds of situations. I get confused taking a walk in the park.

Sometimes I think that I'm taking a walk by a lake, but I'm actually taking a walk by a hill or mountain. Listen, Jesse, there's no app to help you clarify what you're walking by. But when it comes to car purchasing, there's the good folks at car gurus. It's no wonder Car Gurus is the number one rated car shopping app in Canada on the Apple App Store and Google Play Store. They got hundreds of thousands of cars from top rated dealers to choose from so you can find the best deal. Plus, they give you the control to shop your way, the tools, information, data-driven deal ratings that you need. And they'll connect you with trusted dealerships when you're ready. So there is a transparent and hassle-free buying process.

While your next car today with car gurus at car gurus.ca, go to car gurus.ca.caugurus.ca, Jordan, I also have so much, it's been a while since I've been talking about the put this on shop, my antique and vintage shop, but we have so much new stuff in the store. I mean, I'm talking about, like, hundreds of, of new items, things from men's and women's bracelets to necklaces and earrings for ladies, dresses. I just posted some beautiful new leather briefcases, tons of scarves from the 40s. I just posted a silver bookmark of the profile of Sherlock Holmes, although I do anticipate that Dan McCoy will want to buy that. It's all I put this on shop.com. There's so many beautiful things. Just go go to. take a look at our latest things and scroll through and see some of the amazing stuff that we have. And I'll mention a couple things. Folks should throw onto their comic book poll lists over there at their LCS's. That's local comic shop. You're going to want to get your hands on

Predator, Black, White, and Blood number four on October 22nd. That is an anthology series about The Predator, the alien who hunts humans for sport and who people are surprisingly horny for. and you're also going to want to get Venom 252 coming out December 3rd featuring an alternate universe Venom character created by yours truly yeah that's another fictional character people are surprisingly horny for I guess I have a lane now anyway yeah I think this is your thing this is my thing um plus Godzilla and also I mean geez I mean talk about thick thighs am I right absolutely yeah uh Venom 252 December 3rd Predator Blas

White and Blood, number four, October 22nd, throw them on your comic book poll lists. I assume that Godzilla has, like, genitals, but Godzilla would also fuck you with its tail, right? Yeah. Yeah. Or its atomic breath or one of his many beautiful plates. Yeah, absolutely. There you go. Listen, Godzilla is nothing, if not, open-minded.

The most open-minded monster. Let's get back to the show. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's Radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy, detective. And I am Dulce Sloan here with news at 6, 10, and 11. If you were telling your business, hence, so am I. Are you still doing traffic on the On the Ones?

We're still doing traffic on the Ones. We started doing traffic on the twos. Yes. It kind of found that it was too much traffic. That fucks up my whole schedule. I know. I thought traffic was just late all the time. Well, here's the thing.

We were doing traffic on the ones and twos, and we just turned out to just be DJs. Okay. Got it. Got it. Dole say you mentioned, okay, so you are speaking to us from your home in Los Angeles, not to docks you. And behind you is a colorful dotted wall. The wall itself is actually not colorful. The dots are colorful.

One dot has a mustache. One dot has a mustache. You told us before we went on that you, you affixed these dots to the wall. Mm-hmm. Because you're a craft person. Yeah, right in my craft corner. What kind of crafts are you? Holy cow, look at that.

You got crafts. You got like a crick cut or something in there? Yeah, I got a cricket. And then, so I share this crap out of my mom. that's nice excellent because my mother does live here and then my brother lives uh the garage is an ad you so my brother's in the garage so my whole family's here and then there's a dog uh because my cat anyway so yeah so i got into adult coloring books recently uh just for any clarification it doesn't mean that kind of adult that's what i was going to ask are the coloring books erotic no absolutely not that would just be annoying and as a woman in our 40s I'm always horny so it would just piss me off

but it's fun things like this Little Cuddles The name of the book is Little Cuddles And so look this bear And a lion Beautiful beautiful Did you color this one in?

This is a beautiful orange guy This is very expertly colored So yeah so this is a whole thing Now so it's like because the markers Like it's you got Just take two seconds to take up your whole life. But basically, I got on, I was on TikTok. I followed crafting stuff on TikTok, and I found coloring talk.

And so, because I like to do, so like I used to have a jewelry business. I would do like custom turbines and little things like that. I used to do resin jewelry. And so. Oh, it's very lovely. A beautiful pink flower ring. Like a pink flower ring. And so I got into coloring because, like, the thing is, like, I was, it's, I'm a maker.

and so I like to make things, but then you have a new thing. So, like, I love making this ring, but now I have to figure out what to do with this ring. I think the answer is you posted on Etsy and then no one buys it. Is that correct? Yes. And so you can just watch your dreams crumble in another. So what I like about the coloring books is that I can be creative and I can make things,

but it lives in a place. And so I did something creative, but I didn't have, but I didn't create a new thing. So, like, but this is a practice book. And so, so you can, like, practice your, so, like, your sunsets, you can practice your shading. And then all of the colors have different numbers on them. Because I've got, like, let's see. These are beautiful gradiated color panels here. Right.

You created with, you said with markers? Yes, they're alcohol markers. And so I've got, like, oh, who is the most popular brand. And then there's, like, Calliart. and then there's a safi. And so I've got like a 120 set, a 48 set, and then like 360 sets. Okay. But then there's, oh, who has like a 360 set.

I'm like, I'm not buying all those markers, but it's close to it. So many markers? Right. And so you're going to keep it to what, how many markers did you just tell us about 150? You're not going to go over the top. Well, because I got a one, because the thing is I started with 48. And I'm like, you start coloring. And you're like, I need more colors.

And so then I went up to the 120. But then I was like, oh, I need some pastels. But then I tried to order the pastels. And then they were on back order. So I ordered, like, a 48 set of the pastels, but they run back order. So I was like, well, let me just get the 60 because I got a color now. And so I got a 60 and a 48, and then they came out another. So there's another 48.

And so I've got like, but it's good because I can take them on the road with me because they come in like these cases. Oh, look at this nice little, it comes in like a little lunchbox. So it's like a little black case. And then, but like the 120 sets, like in a big one. And then there's like different detailing markers. So there's like paint markers that you can do for. these acrylic pins. So I'm like grabby acrylic pins,

King Art, and then like these jelly roll like white pins. So say, but like the thing about the notebook is like so the sunset, practice your sunset so you don't do it in your book and mess your book up. But then like to say there's like different patterns

you want to do. Like bubbles? Very difficult. So say one of your characters is in the bath. So or it's like, oh, you want to do wallpaper. And so here's like, little wallpapers and stuff.

I mean, I think, Doolsey, we've learned what you're out of the park baseball is. Oh, this? Yeah, I guess so. But like... Well, that and marker talk. Well, yeah, because coloring talk, but like, yeah, they got little stencils and there's, like, this is like a Tarazzo pattern. And so then if you're not good at patterns, this book just came out. Because there's a whole scandal all the time for a while.

It's important to learn Tarazzo patterns because otherwise you can't paint the, uh, The kitchens of the early 2000s. How are you going to do your floor? I'll say, I know you said at the top that the coloring books weren't meant to be sexy, but I found little cuddles to be erotic. Little cuddles. Oh, wait. Then you're going to love, you're going to love my cozy date book.

So, hilarious. Oh, oh, the bear's eating watermelon with a cat. And they got a little pet durable friend. Whoa, what? Dulce, do you know about, um, whoa, they're fishing? Do you know about fan art of, uh, popular characters, but the characters are pregnant? That's too much. I do, I can say I'm very weary of fan art because of someone who said, that's correct.

Oh yeah, you're an, you're the voice of an animated character. So maybe I understand how maybe that's something you would want to avoid. Well, it's like I've had me done. Terry Blas, who's an amazing airmanor, is the only person who's a fan art that I've actually, like, really enjoyed, that actually looked like me. Somebody's always trying to give me an extra chin. I'm like, bitch, I'm fat, but I do have a neck. Like, everybody calm down. Sometimes it's like, I don't know.

She's got a neck, folks. How dare you? It's like people, I can tell you're not aware of a coloring, you know, plus size people. But I can tell you, one of the biggest things with coloring is you're swatching. Because sometimes you're like, oh, I. I need a pink, but you don't want to keep testing it, testing it. So I got this swatch, a new swatch book. And so all of my colors.

It's a beautiful swatch book. Thank you so much. You are filling, this is a book where you are filling the little boxes with your markers so that you know what color your markers look like when you put them on a box, on a piece of paper. Yes. And then so I have also, I got these jelly roll pins. Like, it's like, oh, I want to see, because you take.

these pins, like these acrylic pins. And so if you want to block the black lines out on a page, you use the acrylic pins or use the details. I had no idea. I, okay, so I knew that there were people out there who were coloring in complicated like mandolas or whatever in adult coloring books with like colored pencils or something. I had no idea exactly how much like, Prep work and organization was going into this. Like the amount of, yeah, just the sheer amount of like measuring twice and cutting once that seems to be going into coloring a picture of a kitty cat and a dog who are on a date together eating watermelon. Oh, these two foxes are coddling in the rain. And so they're like shading and stuff and then there's different shading methods.

and then there's, like, highlighting. And then one day I was like, oh, this almost looks like an alien thing. So what if I did the colors? Have you thought about, Doolsey, let me ask you this. Past Jordan Jesse Go guest, friend of the program, wonderful stand-up comic and writer, Sarah Schaefer. Oh, I'm a Sarah Schaefer. May at this point, yeah, may at this point be a bigger crafting celebrity than she is comedy celebrity. Have you thought of her about making the turn?

I know your comedy, your comedy careers. going swimmingly. Sweet. However, have you thought about just switching completely to, like, Sarah started making tiny comedy clubs, like miniature comedy clubs during the pandemic and then became a crafting celebrity? Have you thought about just switching to making tiny versions of things? That's a level of detail work that I, unfortunately, do not have the time more mental

wherewithal, because that's so much math. Especially with this way with all the time you're dedicating to swatches. exactly because it's like so these are why you get your acrylic markers so that way you can blot out all your black lines in the drawing and so when you have a little mousy that's a gorgeous that's a gorgeous mousy thank you a little mouse just on it sitting on a teacups sniffing a flower i mean i've been trying to pitch a i've been you know we're pitching a crafting show because i was pitching a show

but for me it's i i'm going to start so people like like because people will color live on ticot and they're just just doing a coloring page uh color live oh i do have more markers oh you color live on ticot what is entertainment anymore uh truly let me ask you guys speaking of pitching show Can I ask you guys a quick question before we go to Momentous Occasions? Yeah, that'd be great.

I got a call from Montel Williams. Congratulations. Not author of Mountain, get out of my way. A representative of Montel Williams. Should I be returning that call? You mean friend of psychic Sylvia Brown? I think he's best known as Psychic Sylvia Brown's friend, yes. I, um, this is for your, this is for Bullseye.

They were pitching him to be up. No, no. This show? Great. This was for me to go on his show. Oh, my God. But they didn't say about what? And his show seems to be a local morning show on Lifetime?

Do it. Yeah, sure. They just said what they want me to talk about. SoCal or something? I just got an email like right before we went on the air that said, Monique from Montel Williams's show, which is called The Missing Piece or something. I can't remember what it's called. Okay.

This is her phone number, but no further information. I mean, why, why are you even considering it? Say yes. So there's been people sending out scam emails about being on people's shows and podcasts. Oh. Okay. So did they offer? Is this a scam telephone call?

Well, they didn't offer any money. I haven't heard anything from Monique. All I have is her phone number. It's in Florida somewhere. that might be legit because those scam emails it's like because I got one and it's like hey we're going to pay $3,000 to be on Joe Rogan's podcast

and I called my rep and I called my manager I was like first of all Joe Rogan's not paying anybody $3,000 to be in a podcast second we got that one we got that one but it was for Theo Vaughn and apparently he wanted to beat us up on the show that was like part of the

yeah part of the thing was that I wanted to do it Jesse didn't want to go to Austin you know I'm chicken shit yeah I mean, I was willing to do it remotely, but I'll get beat up on Zoom. That's very funny. Okay, let's, well, hold on. We got calls to take. Yes.

When something momentous happens to you, give us a call at 206. When you're offered $3,000 to be on Joe Rogan's podcast. Give us a call at 206-984 for fun or just send us a voice memo at JJGo at maximum fund.org. Here's a person who's done that. I have a momentous occasion to share. My name is Michelle. and I'm in Minnesota, and I happen to be on a Reddit board for people who are smoking pot and board, and I got into a chat with a gentleman who lives in Washington State, and we hit it off,

and the moment of occasion is that I booked up plane flight to Washington from Minnesota because we are going to meet, and this is also my security in case I get murdered, that this is my plan, and that that is what is going on. Okay, thank you. Bye-bye. So wait. Okay. This is an incredible tale. A subreddit for people who are smoking pot and bored. You mean Reddit? Hello. Excuse me. Hello. I'm getting a call from Reddit. It says, all that is me.

She booked the flight? Yeah. She booked the flight, Dulce. What are your thoughts? You have thoughts? I don't love that. You don't love it? Here's something I thought of initially. Why is she going to him? Why are they not meeting in the middle? That was, is that valid, do you think? That makes more sense to me.

Because being flued out is being flued out. I have yet to be blessed with being flued out. God, I would love to be fluid. But I would, because she's in Minnesota. I would love to be fluid, but I want to make it clear. I'm offer only business class and above. I hear it. Listen, if you're getting fluid, please don't have me.

what economy that's not fluid that's not fluid that's flown that's flowed it's not fluid if you have to pay

for your meal folks you gotta pay for the checked bag I mean even if you like you could go 50 50 and then get me a better you know what I mean

yeah but also I get it sometimes you know when these times you know you do what you can but I think one does she not know anybody else

right The concept podcast But then this could turn to a true crime podcast For the feelings That's probably big business for us So I think that would be more successful Than what we're doing now For the feelings that she is having right now

We're doing fine There are some adult coloring books that could help Oh yeah Oh yeah The one that says You know positive thoughts affirmations Bitch stay home Is I think a very

Just a little mouse reading a book in his living room. Bitch, stay home. Sitting in a teacup being like, Miss. And the words of my brother, young miss. I would really like this.

What if this worked out for her? I'm not saying it won't. I'm not, we're not saying that it won't. Yeah. But to be on the safe side, it makes sense. Because it's fine.

Maybe she's not going to his house. Maybe she's going to a hotel. She's still on his turf. Right. Right. So she called y'all to make sure that she's, has a witness, which means she don't, you know, she looks like she ain't got no backup in Washington

State. Yeah. So it probably would have been better than meeting a neutral location. So he don't know nobody. She don't know nobody. Right. And it, like, it has, and I'm sorry we're being skeptical of this caller because like, you know, hey, it's tough to find somebody out there. But she's skeptical. That's why she called. Thank you. We don't want to harsh your me, ma'am. We don't want to, no, we're not trying to harsh advice. And the words of my homeboy, he said, don't yuck my yum, which I wasn't doing. I thought it was a very interesting phrase. No one's trying to downgrade her.

No one's trying. I wish her to best. I pray as she comes home. We all do. We all do. But you did call us. Also, the same, we offered the same prayer to our troops overseas. Right.

And we won't, and we're not doing anything to help them. Well, the government's not. We love them. But it's, I, it's, it's, you always have to be worried somebody's going to murder you. You do. Of course. You just do. I wish her the best, but I do.

wish that but also if you but here's a thing yeah if you buy your own plane ticket then you have the autonomy to one because she could have booked it he could be paying her back that he was funny whatever sure but if you book your own plane ticket then he don't have to expect no sexy time because men don't expect sex time they buy you a drink and you're like sir you think i'm worth nine dollars you think this here's a let me sell for more Jordan Doolsey I have a question for you. You don't, we've, we've only just met Doolsaid, but I have not dated in the age of the internet. I am married to my high school sweetheart. We have been together 30 years or something. So happy for you. Not quite. 25. It's great. It's wonderful. God bless. I hope all our troops

overseas come home safe. Bitchdale. Do it for the boys overseas. That's why I wake up every morning for the boys overseas. For the boys. I am a USO. Me and Bet Midler. Me and Bet Midler. For the boys. But my impression is that in 2025, as opposed to 25 years ago, like 25 years ago, I think gay men I knew were just going off to do oral sex.

just like for the day, you know what I mean, as an activity. But I feel like now I get the impression that everybody is typing on their phone and then they go do a sex thing with someone. Is that not the case? People have always been on the phone doing a sex thing with somebody, but now we have caller ID. I had only just learned about caller ID It was invented by a black woman Because as we know We don't like people playing on our phone

That was not the original use of Star 60 Yeah I was about to say Starz 69 Was playing on people's phone Also Star 67 still works Oh star 6 7 Star 6 7 will block a caller ID Oh interesting

And it works on cell phones too If you call like If you press Star 6 seven and then press a phone number, your number will come up no caller ID on whoever you're on whoever you from. I don't know that. Yeah,

and I found that out because I had somebody blocked on my phone. But since it did not come up with a number because it was blocked, his calls would get through. So if I saw no caller ID on it, I'd be like, hey, what's up? I know it was him. But listen, it's, yeah, people have always been going off to do the sex things. gay men's yes

the straits everybody is what I was been running off to do the oral sexes I know I remember it's not increased now because I really strongly got the impression I don't think it's increased I think it's people's availability

to people who don't live in their area increased I think there's like a thing where you know if you're single in your town you know maybe you know all the other single people. But now you can just get stoned, go on the Reddit chat room where stoned people go.

And, you know, you find somebody else. And if they don't, you know, if they don't live in your area, grab that flight to Seattle. Yeah, because if you're traveling, it's not like, okay, if you're traveling, you're like, all right, if you travel for work, people just go to a bar and you meet somebody in that bar. Right. But once you touch down in a city, you have access to everybody on an app in a city. I quit using dating apps because I just remember looking at my phone one time and being like, man, nobody in the silly independent Los Angeles wants to see my boobs.

Let me go ahead and put this phone down. So, because all it did was just give me access to the world and then find out like, oh, nobody worth shit's trying to talk to me. So all it did was just affect myself to state. And I was like, I pay for this phone. Why is it trying to hurt my feelings? So, yeah, dating out. Why can't these Gen Zers just put their phone down?

Thank you. You know, who never hurts my feelings? Marvel Snap. That's because I'm running a high evolutionary deck. It gives powers to cards that don't normally have powers. I hear you. Thank you. And this coloring book that I have called, Come See and Cozy.

Oh. Has never. Have you ever? When I was in, I went to my sisters. And hey, these lambs are just out here. Stargazing. Stargazing lambs. Yeah, my sister colored this page.

So, like, you know, she did a great job. But it's like this, this bear fairy hiding in a pumpkin underneath the flower blanket never caused me any issues. Nope. Never tried to follow me home. Because actually with this dating has to. And he always wants to see your boobs. Always wants like a Christian. Yes.

Dump him out. Dump him out, says the bear. Not dump him out. Lift and, you know, lifting release. Lift and release. Excuse me. But it's, I got that t-shirt in Atlantic City. In the words of the Apostle, John.

Yes. The Apostle, I was growing up, it was like, you know, a man would come to your house, pick you up, take you on a date. And then it was like, I remember like when cell phone started coming out, it was like, because I'm that old. If a man gave you his cell phone number instead of his house number, you're like, this man is cheating. He's up to shit. But like, if a man now gave me his house phone, I'd be like, and where is your butter turn? Like, if a man, like, you see, what do you have a landline, you psycho? Are you one of those typewriter guys?

Hey, listen, if, you know what I always say, if you've got a butter turn, you're not going to turn my butter, okay? Which is probably a sex thing. Okay, let's take another call. Yeah, it's probably a sex thing. Let's take another call. I don't know. In the Amish community. I'm date my wife since I was 17.

Hi there, Gordon Jesse and esteemed guest. This is Harvey calling in with a trucker report. and I'm out here on the interstate in the vicinity of Ashland, Ohio. And there was a horse and buggy on the overpass with presumably honest family. The kids were doing the arm thing for the air horn, and I let a rip for them. They seem to get a huge take out of it. Get them, get them. Love you. Bye.

Love you too, Harvey. This is fun. We were just talking about Amish stuff. This guy calls with an Amish-themed call. See? Now, here's the thing. That's fun. When the kids are doing that motion,

they want you to use the horn on your truck, Harvey. They don't want you to let her rip with a giant fart. Well, because you couldn't hear it because they're in their own car. Harvey just farted really loud. Yeah, they can't hear the fart. no matter how well i uh i saw online that like they don't because i guess people aren't going like on family trips like they used to because gas costs a million dollars but it was like the truckers like older truckers was like man the kids used to do the pull do the air horn thing and they don't

do it as much as more anymore so i saw this video it was like uh um it was like this black dude with his like young daughters uh and you know his thing is wife his wife was recording it was like him and the daughters and they're out like i guess by like a state route or something and it's truly raining but get you a kid event thing and these truckers and the kids are like they run close to the street and then they do that do the horn do the horn

and they would honk it and you would see the truckers be happy but also one like but I can say as a kid that was one of my favorite things was just like let me let this grown man upset pretty much every car in the vicinity because it's just a quick but I think we all

understood like when you start like as a kid that's like as a driver it's like, oh, they, the trucker, somebody asked the trucker to pull the horn. Because I can say, if you do it as a grown-up, sometimes they don't do it. And it's like, come on, man, what's your childhood whimsy? I can, I can speak from experience. They will do it if you dump them out. Okay.

Thank you, Jordan. And I'm talking about my testicles. But you're sitting on him. You're driving. Listen, I'm very limber. I have a seat that raises. Oh, okay. He's in a Jetson's car.

Yeah, I have a Jeff's car. If you have a, it's a PriusC, if you have a momentous occasion for us, send it to us by voice memo at J.J.Go at maximum fun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jessica. La, la, la, la, la. On Judge John Hodgman, the courtroom is fake, but the disputes are real. Brian would say, I'm the Gumby of this family. He's just not. Claiming to be Gumbi is an ungambi-like claim. No, it's just Gumbi and I being our authentic selves. So what's your complaint? Too many sauces? There are no foods on which to put the sauces.

Have we named all the sauces on the top shelf yet? Not even close. You economize when it comes to pants. Truly, it's not about the cleanliness of the pants. Well, why isn't it? This is what I want to know. Judge John Hodgman, fake court, weird cases, real justice. on maximum fun.org, YouTube, and everywhere you get podcasts. Hi, I'm Alexis.

And I'm Ella. And we're the host of comfort creatures. We could spend the next 28 seconds telling you why you should listen. But instead, here's what our listeners have said about our show because really, they do know best. The show is filled with stories and poems and science and friendship and laughter and tears sometimes, but tears that are from your heart being so filled up with love. A cozy show about enthusiasm for animals of all kinds, real and unreal.

If you greet the dog before the person walking them or wander around the party looking for the host's cat. This podcast is for you. So come for the comfort and stay for Alexis's wild story about waking up to her cats giving birth on top of her. So if that sounds like your cup of tea or coffee, Ella, we're not all brits. Then join us every Thursday at maximum fun.org. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris, Boy, detective. I'm still outside. Baby, it's Dulcee Sloan. We out here. You know, Hey, I'm an American.

We throw hands and we save lives. Dole say, we have not. Throwed hands, saving lives. Dole say, we have not talked about Korean dramatic television programs yet. Should I be watching Stove League? I hear I should be watching Stove League. It's a show about some people running a baseball team in Korea. I don't know about Stovely.

I do know that I have a Korean drama podcast called Chasing K Dramas with my producer, Chris. Choi. And I met her in 2018 in a Diane Von Furstenberg event where they were honoring the rap dress. And I was in this event. I didn't know anybody. And I saw. Imagine, imagine coming up with a dress that decades later, they're having parties about that dress. It revolutionized. It truly did. Because as it just, no matter what your body type, it looks good. Shout out DVF. Shout out to the rap dress. Shout out to DVF. But I don't think she could patent it because you can't, like, certain things you can't patent.

No. But I was, you know, I didn't know anybody. And I was like, just like, just ran. And I was like, oh, a black lady. And so I went to talk to a black lady. And then she was friends with Christina. And so we just got to talking. And I started talking about how, you know, like, she's like, what TV shows do you like?

Just like, you know, talking to people at an event, just learning about each other, you know, taking the time away. And I was like, oh, I'm really in a Korean drama. She's like, what are you talking about? How do you know about these things? And so I was like, Atlanta has a Korean TV station. And so I started watching when I was in high school. And so we started talking about. So you were very early on this train.

Yeah, because Atlanta had like, so Atlanta had, you know, the regular station, there was two Spanish channels. And then there was KTN, which I think is still around. I used to watch Iron Chef in high school on broadcast television before there was, before it was on American television or before it was on English language television with dubbing and stuff. So you was like a subtitled version on. So you understand the campaign. So they had the subtitled like family dramas. and I was like, oh, there's a show Bluebird. We haven't been able to find it, but I started watching that.

I was like, hmm. And then as I got older, they were like on, like, there was a app called Drama Fever. You could watch them. I watched them on Vicky. And then Hulu and Netflix and Amazon started to get them. So now we're watching this show called, we watched Queen of Tears for the first show. And while we were watching it, there was a scandal with the lead actor. It was crazy.

And then now we're watching this show, Marry My Husband. It's on Amazon. And the premise of the show. These titles are perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So some of them make sense. And then some of them, and there's like the show Misty that I absolutely love. And you have no idea that it is a, like the premise has nothing to do with the whole show,

but then it makes sense in the last episode. So I love that. And then there's a show called Secret, Secret Love, where there's a secret, everyone's got secrets, right? So. What I like about these show titles is they could also be like Luther Vandross songs. Accurate, Misty, Secret, Marry My Husband, My Husband. Queen of Tears. Yeah, all good.

But I like the, so we're doing the show, Marry My Husband now, and we're having a live record for Mary My Husband for the finale on September the 1st at the Hollywood Improfit at 7.30 p.m. And so we have a special guest coming on, another comedian, one of my good friends.

And the premise of the show is basically so a woman who is going to... It's Joe Rogan. We can say it. We can say it. You paid him $3,000. I paid him $3,000 to come on my podcast. It is not a scam. and we will not be stealing his kibneys and then shipping him off in a shipping container to our troops overseas. To the boys overseas in North Korea.

And so the premise of this show is that this woman's going through cancer treatment and catches her husband and her best friend having an affair. And they murder her. And so basically the ghost of her father sends her back in time 10 years to relive her life so she can change her fate. Oh. We love a dad ghost. We love a dad ghost It's nice to see these fathers Ghost Dad

We don't watch so much anymore No no no we let that go And even at the time it was like What? But yeah And so that's the premise of the show We're doing a live recording I'm really excited about it

Chrissy is great We've got some merch that we're selling But it's been really great Because I would tell my friends The premise of these shows Like I was on the road with Josh recently And we're like driving through the middle of Ohio At like at one in the morning to go

You know traveling from show This is Josh Brolin Absolutely Josh Johnson And so it was late We had just done two shows And I was like What would you talk about?

I was like, well, there's a show that I really like and I'm like, go And so I tell them the premise of one Korean drama And I'm just like, but I'm talking too much And I'm like, no, no, no, no, what's next? What's next? What's next? And so then I tell them a premise of this

of the show, marry my husband And it was like by now an hour and a half, two hours has gone by an hour in the next place And I was like, I'm so sorry I was talking all the whole time And I'm like, no, you saved our lives You kept the driver awake

Our tour manager you kept them awake All of us were enthralled And so I can say that Korean dramas Can save lives And then the end of it's also I'm on the road I actually just started a podcast About Korean barbecue And it's just me going

Oh boy I'm full Ha It's me going Can I get some more squid We're doing a live tapeing at Largo in a couple weeks Just me going to be on stage going Oh boy I'm full It's not baby girl

But Sarah Watkins is going to be there. It's all about that bulgogi and that soju. Ain't it? All about that soji. Well, Dulce, it has been a joy to have you on the program. Thank you. So nice. I will say if you get the chance to go out and see Dulce on the road,

I got to see Dulce do the better part of a headlining set a couple months ago. Oh, what? And went backstage to bother her and get her email address to invite her on the program. And the reason was because it was such a fucking fantastic set. It is, she is a hilarious stand-up comic. And I insist that you all go catch her on the road. Doolsa, thank you so much for joining us. Nice to talk to you.

Thank you so much. Yeah, I got a show coming up in Iowa City and at Club Hanchard. And then I'm back in Seattle at Laugh, Seattle on September 26th and 27. Can I make a suggestion? Can I make a suggestion to people in our audience? Iowa City sounds like the perfect place to meet halfway with the guy that you met on the I'm bored smoking pot, Reddit. Or Salt Lake City or Denver. They could have gone to Denver.

Denver. Had a nice drink at a brewery. Because Vegas is too much. Vegas is too much for a first meetup. Yeah, you don't do that. They could have been mile high and the mile high. Right. Anytime I meet a woman online, we're meeting at the Golden Nugget.

If you meet a woman online, that woman better be your wife, Mr. Jesse. Thank you. Mm-hmm. Jesse, you better meet your wife. Yes, you better go pretend you don't know each other to keep things spicy. Yeah, we've been messaging each other on ICQ to remember the early days. A slash L slash my wife. It's a location, our house.

Stop playing with me. Go do the dishes. Dulce, where can people, find all your dates. So you can go to dolesaysloan.com because that is a website that I have made. And it's got videos. It's got dates. You could see about my lip gloss mine, gigawas, and I started with comedian Lace Larrabee.

And then you can get dualsays Sloan. Got Tom to get all my dates. There's videos. There's a little bit of merch. I'm watching some more merch. And I got a newsletter coming up. So I started out for my loose letter. And it's going to have road stories.

Basically, did I cry on a plane today? It's one, road stories, my art, you know, things that might be working on. Yeah, so just come through, check out the kid. I started this channel on IG because you have to be available at all times to talk to people. I think I'm going to be coloring pages on Twitch. And just out here, just truly trying to wait for the Lord to bless me with my husband. Is what I'm really? Tulsa, can I ask you a question about your lip gloss line before we go?

Sure. Is your lip gloss popping? It's always popping because the colors are magnificent. and they are based off of me and Lace Larrabee's jokes. So I've got three colors. Lace has three colors. My colors are No More Broke Dick, my ministry, that I shared with the world when I was doing.

I was the nights that I hosted that New Year's Eve with Don Lemon, he asked me what my New Year's resolution was, and I said, no more broke dick. And that's when the Lord put a ministry on my heart that I would no longer receive. You got to respond to your calling, just like the Apostle Paul. Listen, you don't know how the Lord's going to say. send you out. You know, I could have been

talking to the Corinthians, but instead I'm talking to the world. Yeah, well, no one hates broke dick more than the Corinthians. Mother Teresa served the poor and you avoid their dicks. Yes, because the problem is, it's amazing, but yeah, so the colors are my colors are no more broke dick, my ministry,

future wife, my man is festation, and Amos ladies, what they used to holl out of kid, and laces colors of purse vodka, I'll show you crazy, and Lafie a Majora. Excellent. Family business. My mom packs all the orders. She says, I'm the head of distribution.

Mom. Family business, baby. Mom. I love it. It's great. Let's celebrate it. I hear just making sure that, just making sure that, you know,

my mom is taking care of, my brother's taking care of, my family's taken care of. So buy some lip flaws to make sure my mom and work for Amazon. Support brothers in ADUs. I'm recording this podcast from an ADU. So, you know what?

Listen, LA is like, you say, so there's multiple. House and I want property, so there's no yard. I was like, okay, let me sure I get some grass before y'all get my coins. But thank y'all so much for having me. It's been such a joy to be here. A joy. Our producer on the program, Stephen Ray Morris, our theme music, love you by the free design. Our thanks to the free design, our thanks to Light in the Attic Records, their label,

go buy one of their records or at least stream it because their music is wonderful. and you can find us on Reddit R slash maximum fun you can find us on Instagram at Jesse Thorne very famous at Jordan David Morris my shop is on Instagram put dot this dot on

and put this on shop.com you can find us on blue sky Jordan Jesse go and the show is on Instagram at Jordan Jesse go pod so go subscribe there for video clips and dank memes we'll talk to you next time

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