Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Four-Cis of N8ture, with Kevin Avery

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

This week we're joined by our old pal Kevin Avery to discuss porno stores, Freaknik, Star Trek replica jackets and so much more *Check out Kevin on Instagram *Listen to Maximum Film *Get the JJGo X Stankus merch! *Check out the official Wolfson Bros website *Preorder The Amazing Venom *Check out more Amazing Spiderman content from Jordan. *Order Jordan’s new Web of Venom comic. *Check out Jordan’s comic Predator: Bloodshed. * Order Jordan’s new Predator comic: Black, White & Blood! * Order Jordan’s new Venom comic! * Donate to Al Otro Lado. * Purchase signed copies of *Youth Group* and *Bubble* from Mission: Comics And Art!   ~ NEW JJGo MERCH ~ Get  Bronto Dino-Merch! Get our ‘Ack Tuah’ shirt in the Max Fun store. Grab an ‘Ack Tuah’ mug! The Maximum Fun Bookshop! Follow the podcast on Instagram and send us your dank memes! Check out Jesse’s thrifted clothing store, Put This On. Produced by Christian Dueñas Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinjjgo Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinjjgo

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and sucks and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio, sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. This is the closest, Jordan, that I have ever recorded a podcast to being asleep. So you, before we showed up, you were taking a nap.

Here's a thing. I went to get some tacos. and it took a long time for me to get tacos. It took a long time for the tacos to come. It took a long time for the tacos to come. Too long. Tacos, 1986. I felt like I'd been waiting since 1986 for the tacos.

Ouch, I would hate to be that restaurant. Okay. Because then I'd be a building. And my family wouldn't recognize me. You got it. Oh, I would hate to be a building. So I had been waiting a long time for my tacos. I finally got my tacos and ate them.

By the time I got back to the office, we're recording at 2 o'clock, it's 117. And I think to myself, does Daddy have time for a nippy nappy new? And I wanted to take a nippy nappy new. So I prioritized that. And you may have seen, Jordan, I have a nap chair in my office. I don't think I've seen the nap chair. I've seen the fap chair. Any chair can be a fap chair if you set your heart to it.

Uh-huh. My nap chair is just the one chair that's not my desk chair. And I used to think that to take a nap in my office, I had to be able to, like, close and lock the door and draw the blinds and whatever. And not that long ago, it was early afternoon and I was very sleepy. And I thought, fuck it. Because my door, I don't know if it has a key, but I don't have a key to it if it has. has a key. The wall of my office is made of glass. My door is made of glass. Anyone can look in and see. But I said, I'm going to take a nap, and if anybody doesn't like it, they can suck a lemon.

Oh my gosh. They can take a long walk off a short pier, Jordan. Wow. Pound sand, kick rocks. Are these all things these people can do if they don't like that you're napping in the middle of the day? They get a lot of activity choices. Okay. I took, I don't know if you know about these neoprenee eye masks. Uh, I don't. Uh-uh. There's three-dimensional eye masks now that make you look like you have bug eyes. Uh-huh. Like you're in the industrial noise group, the locust.

Okay. Cool. But it goes around, it's padded, but it goes around your eye socket, and it doesn't press on your eyeballs. Mm-hmm. And I got my headphones with noise cancellation. I put those in. I pick a boring podcast. Engaging, but boring.

Okay. I chose a friend. fresh air about history. Oh, that's a nice, that's a nice nap cast. I put my earphones in, turn that noise cancellation up to 10. Crank the gross. Reclined. Oh, this gross goes to 11.

Or Dave Davies. Recline in my chair. Who's the other host now? Tanya Mosley. Tanya Mosley. Shout out Timo's. Take a, do some reclining in my chair. I got a little footrest.

I put my feet on the footrest. And I went out like a lamp. And in this instance, today was the second time I did it. We were recording it too. It was 117 when I lay down. Guess when I woke up? 201, Jordan. 201.

I mean the internal clock on this guy. I took off my little mask. I stood up, gave myself a stretch. Christian came over, knocked on the door. Okay. Said, thumbs up. Kevin Avery's here. You can just feel.

You can just feel it when it's time to podcast. So if I... Like a rooster rises at dawn. Yeah. With the lift of the sun from Twix to the Hills. When twixt the hills, the sun doth lift. Yes. So too does the rooster, his feathers adjust.

Sure. Well, Jesse, you're napped? Spreading his wings and waving his cockle. Yes. You're napped, you're fapped, and you're ready to yap. wrapped and ready to have this. The best thing anyone has said on this show. I said it in the kitchen earlier, but no one was listening.

You were talking about something else. But I thought it was worth repeating here on the show. Our guest on the program is a stand-up comic and writer. He is also the host of Maximum Funds podcast, Maximum Film, and an old friend of ours. Kevin Avery. Hi, Kevin. What's even the point of me being here if I can't, I can't top, napped, fapped, and ready to rap? Jesse's got to rap?

I mean, you may be napped fapped. As we've covered on this program, you are a former member of a boys to men style young men singing group. Incredible. That is true. That is true. That performed around the Atlanta area? Sure. Yes.

Yes. Around the Atlanta area at various homecoming parties, school. assemblies. Saved a couple of rec centers, right? Probably did. Yeah. Ever do anything at Freaknik? No, I always wanted to go to Freaknick. I was too broke to go. And can you explain what this is for me? Freak Nick is basically a big spring break party just in Atlanta, just this massive, out in the streets, wild debauchorous thing that

took place in the 90s, and it was a hell of a party, or so I'm told. I never went. You never went. Every year at spring break, the other students would pack their shit up and head to Freak Nick. And those of us who did not have Freak Nick cash, which I don't even know, I think back to me, what do you have to do? Go home to Flint, Michigan? I just had to work in the factory.

Yeah, litter removal can. I had to go somewhere and. I don't know, build Legos. Is that a thing? Do people need to build Lego? They have. Some people do. But yeah, so I never got to go to Freep Nick.

I didn't do anything spring break. I think one time I remember going to, I was dating this girl and we went to her family's house in Miami. Okay, Miami. That's a destination where people go to get a little loose to loosen up. They don't stay with the past. parents. Okay. That's where we were.

And there were like five of us. We all just kind of hung out in this house. I don't know what the hell we thought we were doing. But that was it. And otherwise, I just hung out at Tuskegee on the campus and chilled. And do they still, the freaknik is no more. It sounds like the way you're talking about it. There is a documentary about it somewhere.

It's so funny because a whole lot of black folks of a certain age were suddenly very worried about a hearing in the Freaknik documentary. Oh, very concerned. You're like, it's a deep fake. Yeah, and I don't think people have anything to worry about. I mean, I don't know. What are the odds you're going to spot yourself in the documentary? It was like a cultural phenomenon to such an extent that it like broke records.

Yeah. Not like records for a number of people going to something, but like music records. Okay. Like the way that Carnival has hit songs, Freaknik had hit songs, that like became the big national like, you know, whatever, come on ride the train or something. They're like, yeah, that broke it Freak Nick and then it went national. Yeah, it was huge. I mean, it was a bit, but I think Freak Nick eventually just kind of imploded and, like,

I can't remember exactly when it stopped. But at some point, it got a little too freaky, it did, a little too much freak, a little too much Nick. And people went, let's shut this shit down. Well, I hope for your sake it comes back and your group reunites to play. Remind us what the name of your singing group was? We were called four now. The number four and now, and there were six of us. And so we can't go back to fix that.

We got to get rid of two of these guys. We did. Did you? And then we changed the name of the group to forces of nature. And then had the number four. Had the colossal gall not two. Wow. Just spelled it good old fashioned F-O-R.

Maybe this is why you never got into Freak NIC. And I should have called it four cis of nature. F-O-U-R-S-I-S. To let everyone know you're cisgendered. Oh, yeah, F-O-U-R-C-I-S. Of four-sys of nature. And just spell nature with an eight. I don't know.

That's just a group saying too much. Doing stuff. Oh, my God. Yeah, we, and then we changed the name to alias. I don't even know why These are all good names Were you like trying to get out of bad record contracts? I don't know right?

That's how it seems. Aalias sounds like an 80s hair band. I don't know why we did that. But we thought it was cool because I don't know, man. And then Kevin Avery's alias. And then Aalus featuring Kevin Avery. Listen, I just

I'm sorry that I bring this up every time you're on the show, Kevin. I'm fascinated by it. I think about it when you're not here from time to time. What? That you were in an R&B singing group in college? Oh, yeah. Someone just sent me an old photo of like, I think maybe the very first show.

My brother, someone. What are you wearing? I'm wearing black pants and a pleaded. And I'm wearing a gold, like a print shirt that's like a floral pattern. I'm looking around this room. see if anything matches. Sort of like goldish, brown, yellow hues. Like kind of a Versace color set?

Yeah, like one of those. But we all had like a different type of printed pattern shirt on. Now, how open was this shirt? How many buttons were talking? I think I only had it down. I probably had it buttoned all. Like, I had one button open.

I wasn't doing the, we weren't that. We weren't that. We weren't those guys. All right. We're going to button our shirt. It's about the music. It's not about the. abs. Well, we want to be cool. Because I think if two unbuttoned, then you just look ridiculous.

Well, the ab guys, I feel like the ab guys is more, was more of like a circa 1999, 2000. Yeah, maybe a little later. You had your super ab singing groups. Before that, it was like, girl, we're classy. Okay, so here's what happened. What you're describing actually happened around 1990. Boys to Men and Jodice broke at the same time. I think boys to men had been making a little more noise just a little bit before Jodicee. And yeah, they were the straight-laced on bended knee, I'm begging, I'll make love to you guys. And then here comes Jodicee and they're ready to bug. And those were the guys with the open shirts. In fact, the first time I saw a Jodice video, they were just in these overall, like these yellow rain slickers with nothing on underneath them.

And they were just doing their thing. Right. They were, I remember a friend saw them. It's not going to keep you dry, fellas. No, it's not going to keep it. And not with these pussies out here. No. No, not going to keep.

Between the rain and the pussies? Not going to keep anybody dry, fellas and ladies. And ladies. But I remember my friend, she had gone to see them and she was like, they were just a walking hormone on stage. Just humping the stage. and doing all that stuff. And that changed the game, performance-wise and musically, too. Because people were expecting humping at shows.

I mean, look, now we're at Usher, feeding women cherries in front of their husbands and boyfriends, in front of their SOs, you know? So, yeah, Jodicey kind of ushered that in. Their look, their sound, and their performance style. It was all sex, sex, sex, sex. and hip-hop. Maybe that would have been a good name for the group, four-sex.

Four-play? I don't know. There was a four-play. It's a jazz band. Oh, okay. Kevin was also in the Manhattan Transfer for a little while. Oh, fun. O-ah, who-ah-oh.

Oh, you can't pay for that. We can pay for that much of it. You know what? We can afford, in 2026, we can afford Manhattan Transfer. Let's do it. It don't mean a thing. If it ain't got that swing Talk about the boy from a New York theater

Oh man This is great I used to rock some all MT Kevin as one of the hosts Of Maximum film What have been What have been some of the spiciest Film debates that have come up

Recently on the show? Has anything been Oh man Particularly wild You motherfuckers and your hot takes Going at each other's throats Oh yeah Alonso Duralde

Drea Clark Just absolute murderers The Stephen A. Smith's of film podcast. They're going to get us all in trouble. They're going to get us sued. Sure. You can't say that. You can't sing Manhattan transfer on a podcast.

No, not at all. You can't say that about Douglas Cirque. We're going to be run out of podcast town. Hot. I don't remember any. We have never, I don't feel like we've debated film. Okay. People come on with their opinions.

And it's like, They respect their opinions. And look, who am I? These two are learned film critics and film festival programmers. They are looking at movies in a different way than I am. They were never regulars on Alice FM's morning show like you. Oh, for God, I was. That's right, good old Siskel and Negro, taking it back.

Yeah, I hung up that hat. up the L.S and N. Up in the Bay Area, W. Camau Bell is still holding the hat. He's got it. Oh, I hope Kevin gets back together with me so we can go back on Alice FM one day. Kevin, you've lived a lot of lives, haven't you? And they say there's no second acts.

I know. Yeah, I don't know what act I'm in now. First act, R&B band. Right. Second act, Alice FM. He's talking before a four non-blonde song plays. Funny film critic. Yeah, what's next now? Third Minister

Farrakhan. That's the current act. Well, that act is sort of a recurring. How many years has Minister Farah Comic Con been visiting Comic-Con? Three years. Going for number four. This is a character who brings a love of oratory

and commitment to obscure a religious-adjacent doctrine to the medium of Comic-Con. Yes. He shows up at just one panel every year, the same panel. It's called Malcolm and Friends, hosted by actor and comedian Malcolm Barrett. And Farah Comic-Con just sort of lies in wait in the crowd

in his suit and bow tie. And then he will show up and interrupt the panel and to ask why he has not been invited to be on the panel. Incredible. And then perhaps this year I gave the reason he, I don't know what it's in. Is he here, Kevin? Can we talk to Minister Farrakomicon? I'd have to channel the minister.

I'd have to turn around and wave my hands in front of my face. I'd have to tie my bowtie. I always, what would you like to know? Minister Farrakhan, Farrakhan, Farrahomicon, not Minister Farrakhan. No. Minister Farrakomicon, when I practice or try to get into the character, I always have a voice. And when I get to the actual venue, that voice seems to go out the window.

At least in my mind, and I'm like, I'm just talking. Especially a character you're doing once a year. The idea of trying to do anything about it with any consistency out the window. Because he always, I want to start him up here and just kind of relax and talk to you about why I haven't been on this panel. You've got me on your podcast. So what's next? What can we do?

I never feel like I sound that way. I don't know why. Once you get in the room and you feel the energy, you know, you're yelling at people on a stage from an audience. I'm also fighting to not be dragged off by security because Malcolm refuses to tell people. That's so funny. Well, this year he told security,

but he didn't tell the other panelists. And like the first year, there was a guy literally trying to pull me off. The second year, there was a woman who wouldn't turn on my microphone until he insisted that it is. So if you watch the video, there's a full 15, 20 seconds of me going, can you, can everyone hear me?

Am I, am I audible? And then, and then this past year, there's a seat. I told him, you got to let people know. And I need a place to I could have easy access to the mic before people rush it for questions. As you know, they do after most of the panels, they're going to have some questions. And then they store that mic. A lot of them are more of comments, though, I find. Oh, yes.

A lot of them are more of a comment. Yes. please people keep it together. So he, they had a seat reserved for me and it was, I think, third row back from the panel, which is way too close.

Not only can I see them, but they can very clearly see me. And it's like Seth Green is up there looking at me like, who's this guy? And there were a couple of people. Austin. powers. Being the most

suspicious weirdo in a combo con-con audience is really something. It is. That's a real feat. When people have zeroed it on you and go, I'm worried about this one guy. Is this guy cosplaying his brother Muzon from the wire? I'm telling you,

they looked legit nervous. And there was a animator, Carl Jones was there. Diyara, I'm freaking blinging her last name, but Diorah from Detroit. Great show on BET Plus. She was there. The two of them, these are two black folks

looking at me. And then Ahmed Best, and at one point I saw him looking at me. All these folks are wanted it, and they would all do it one at a time, and they weren't saying anything to each other. The panel was just going on and I'd be sitting there like I am now. I'm in my suit and my bow tie. and I guess I did look really like I was angry and I could see especially Diyara every now and then just kind of looking to me like

what the hell yeah we have a photo from the Farrah Comic Con fan page I did not know I looked that angry you look really intense they were genuinely because I saw them later in the green room and we were all laughing about it then

but like Diarra was like I didn't know what was going on and I was really, really, and they kept all watching me. And then I, so I can't imagine what they thought when I got up. That's really funny that the host refuses to clear it with the panelists. Yeah, he never freaking, I don't know, Malcolm. He wants an authenticity. He wants an authentic reaction. What I'm impressed by in the picture that we are looking at here in the studio is the

absolute perfect commitment that the white nerd sitting next to you has to looking forward. Yeah. just not to letting his he's like look at the panel look at the panel look at the panel those guys are having a great time but they were just chatting amongst themselves and at some point i'm there by myself i kind of wanted to join the conversation just oh i have an opinion about that you know you're at comic con you're hearing nerd people talk about nerd shit that you aren't just talking about on the street anywhere else and so you're like wait i have something to say about house of dragons what's going on here And I couldn't, I just had to kind of lock it down and keep my focus. This is the dream, by the way, to go to Comic-Con, do a two-minute bit that everyone loves, and then just be able to just fully hang out. Then just hang out. And shop for Godzilla's. Yeah, you know, hot in that suit.

Sure. But, you know, it's fine. I left there and I tried on some jackets at Hero Within, the Star Trek costume. Like some Star Trek jackets? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Ordered one.

Oh, tell us about the Star Trek jacket that you heard, Kevin. Okay, look, let me tell you. Is this a reproduction jacket or is this a Star Trek themed jacket? This is a, they make replicas. Well, okay, they do two things. They make replicas of some of this. So there's like a Rath of Khan jacket, the jacket they wore on the Enterprise, the red and ones with the puffy collar.

You have seen this before. Yeah, yeah. I can envision the puffier collared star. Right. They make the tunic, the uniform thing. They make different ones, some from like Star Trek Discovery, Star Trek Strange New Worlds, the Away Team Jackets and stuff like that. But what they did that I really got into, and I think they started doing this before they were doing more of the replicas. They were making these like bomber jackets, just these regular old jackets. And you can put like a little patch on it that says, you know, USS Enterprise or engineering or whatever the hell. You had a little. thing here. You could have one of the you know like a whatever C. Pike, you know

Christopher Pike or Spock or you know whatever. All the character's little name on your thing. It just looked like it yeah, it's one of those bad boys. Okay, we got it up on screen here. Ooh. Nylon bomber jackets like the classic style. Yes.

And you can get them in command yellow. You can get them in engineering red. You can get them in Science Blue. Because the one we're looking at now is in 1970s British Punk Guy. That is the style there. I mean, you're not actually wrong. Yeah.

I'll take that in a nice way. It looks cool. Yeah. And are there anti-racist Star Trek skinheads? That's what I want to know. It's hard to tell. You got to look at the color of their shoelaces. Yeah, you really got to check.

That's how you can tell which of the Star Wars fans are anti-racist. But yeah, and I have them in all the colors. Wow. Okay. Oh, there's a gray one. And then they also branched out. They had like, They were doing things with, like, D.C.

thing, so there was a Batman jacket that I had to find on eBay. There's an Avengers jacket. That's a green army kind of. I love that shit so much. I am just immersed. They see me coming. It's a little embarrassing. But this year I made the group photo at Hero Within.

I was very... Congratulations. Congratulations. I was way too excited about being in the... Yeah. So I got a red one. Starfleet Academy series came out last year. And while that series was out,

this company here within announced that they had lost their licensing with Paramount. This is probably right at the time that the merger, the Skydance Paramount merger had gone down. But you can get our new line of space adventure jackets for the space adventurer in your life. So they didn't know what they were going to do. They're like, they said our jackets were too warm.

Oh, sorry. I like him. Barry Weiss, not a fan of the jackets. Not a fan. So, yeah, they, so, but we were all watching, you know, me and my nerd friends were all watching Star Trek, Starfleet Academy. And they had the nicest jackets on that show. And I was watching, we were all watching going. Could have been.

If Hero Within had, it was still around, they would have these jackets. Guess what? We got a, we got an email about two weeks before Comic-Con. Hero Within's back, baby. We got the jacket. Literally right after I did fair Comic-Con, me and my friends ran down to Hero Within and tried on those new jackets and they look sweet. What a dream. Yeah, yeah, so I'm very excited.

So what's the total jacket count now in the Avery closet? If we include the one that you ordered at Comic-Con this year? I think there are a dozen hero within jackets. 12-15 hero-12 to 15. In your closet. In my closet. Living here in a city where you wear a jacket, six to eight times a year? Yes.

If it only wasn't, pornographically odd outside. I get them in. I get them in. I wear several a day when it is cold. Switch them out. I got to switch them out. Right. And then I just...

Middler in vain. You got to have a costume change. You got to wear the gold color when you're hanging out with jocks and other leadership types. And you wear the engineering color when you're hanging out with nerds. Yeah. That's it. I'm, I'm thrilled you were ahead at Comic-Con. I'm thrilled you got your jacket or will get your jacket.

On this triumphant note, should we take a break, and then when we come back, this is exciting. Christian has a pornography update for us. I'm really excited about this pornography update. This is exciting. And I'll give context here so that people that will draw people through the break. You don't want to drive people away? Say something weird and then go to break. There's a storefront, a couple of doors down from our office, maybe three doors down from our office.

It goes by a variety of names. Right. Depending on what website you're looking at or sign you're looking at that's on the store. Yeah, there's multiple signs on the store with different names. Something like Broadway Adult Triple X. Yeah. And Jordan got concerned on a recent episode of Jordan Jessica about the current status of that store. I thought it had closed.

I saw a vacant storefront with a four-lease sign in it. This is your hero within. Yes. And without. And this is a store that sells. Jordan, of course, in his closet, has 12 man-sized cages. Man-sized cages, yes. And that's where I get them from.

And I like them to be licensed. I don't like them to be generic. I want them to have the actual Star Trek license. And we're interested in this store, not only because it sells adult materials, but also because it does so in an almost true. featureless space. With almost, it is an almost total absence of aesthetic choice making that leads it, that leads you into a world where you can't quite tell what, whether it's the Bachelorette

party gift kind of porno store, whether it's the, you know, nice lesbian-owned porno store. or there's, it's really difficult to tell what's going on inside. So let's take a quick break and we'll get an update when we come back in just a second. I cannot wait. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne America's Radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Jordan, every episode of Jordan Jesse Go is brought to our listeners by our listeners,

the members of Maximum Fun. If you are not yet a member of maximum fund, go to maximum fund.org. Join JJ Go, and in 90 seconds you will become a member of maximum fun. Not only will you feel great about supporting your favorite podcast, which is definitely, say it with me. Stoppy's world. But you will also get access to our special show, TBW, to be watched. A great episode about Escape from New York recently. Yes, yes.

Really excited about our Star Trek 3. episode being put together right this very moment. And also, we are supported by folks who get up on Jumbotron at maximum fun.org slash jumbotron. That's right. That's where our listeners share messages with our listeners. This is a message from Maddie Peterson from mom and dad. Maddie, thanks for being an amazing daughter, sister, and wife, as well as knitting your ass off making cool shit for others while you listen to these absolutely fucking amazing podcasts. Oh, hey. I like, hey, that's nice. Not only is it supporting the show, but it's gassing us up. And you know what else? I love to be gassed up. Mom and dad might be retired, but if they are,

it's from a career as sailors, because that's how they curse. Yeah, a little salty, but hey, we have no content restrictions on jumbotrons. We'll say any slur. Wait, hold on. Hold on. We'll say FOMER. We'll say FOMER. Oh, that's at an upcoming episode. You're not going to want to miss. We're recording these in advance. If you want to share a message with the world,

maximum fun.org slash jumbotron. Thank you to Mom and Dad. Thank you to Maddie. Maddie, Maddie, wait a little extra. Thank you, Maddie. Yeah, thank you. This is a little late. We apologize.

We love you and that you supported the show. Hey, Jesse, can I talk about some places some folks can see and meet me? I don't know why people would want to do that Because it's a lot of fun Oh okay, fair enough I'm a delight I mean, you're at me, come on

Fair enough I think the week This is airing If you're in the Bay Area You can come see me at Cape and CowlCon Oh, that's a great con That's at a brewery It's at a brewery

It's fucking free It has all kinds of great comics folks You can just waltz up Plenty of parking At faction brewing in Alameda Can I tell you what First of all I love Alameda Alameda's wonderful

Second of all, I just want to say that I am sending my own child to visit this con. Yeah. Her first con, right? Her first con. I will not be in town, so I can't go with her. My wife will be taking her. But she's going to this con. I said, you got to meet Jordan.

You got to meet me. And I also said, take my copy of Dragon Hoops and see if you can get Gene Lewin-Yang's autograph because I loved Dragon Hoops so much. Yeah. I already have Jordan's autograph on his two books, which I do own. and are signed by Jordan, and I'm very grateful to Jordan. But, yes, Gene Lu and Yang, of course, one of the greatest to ever do it. I'm talking about comics.

And yeah, a lot of folks like that are going to be there. And sex. It's sure. He really does, please, his wonderful wife. Yeah. So meet me there if you're in the Bay Area. If you are in Atlanta, I will be at DragonCon for the whole dang thing. I'm going to be tabling during the day.

Get your pens out at table 706. That's right. 706. That's where I'm going to be. Come find me an artist alley. And then in the evening, I'll be performing some improv comedy and doing some game shows and stuff like that. So come to that. All information will be on social media.

And DragonCon, you usually do comics conventions, but DragonCon is a convention for gigantic novelty dildos, right? No, also comics and stuff. I think they might. Maybe there's an adults area for that, but no, I think. No, so DragonCon, you know, comics and culture. were comics about the dildos. Yeah, you have to have lore. You don't want to be fucked by something and not know the lore, Jesse.

Got it. And... God, now I'm worried that people are going to think I'm a noob. There's some listeners that I think we've been neglecting, Jesse. Mm-hmm. I call them the short pumpers. Okay. That's, of course, people who live in Short Pump, Virginia.

Uh-huh. I call them the short pumpers. What do you call them, that one? I call them the short pumpers. Sure, because they live in Short-pump. Virginia, right. They could meet me at Third Eye Comics on September 9th, 5 to 6 p.m., first 10 people in line, get a free gift. I don't know what that is.

I can only assume it's a short pump. Could be a giant dildo. Could be a giant dildo. So yeah, come out to Third Eye Comics in short pump. Short pumpers. I'm going to be there on the 9th. Now, September 9th. What if they live in a neighboring town?

They can come from, yeah, you can come from Richmond, I guess. All right. Yeah. Richmond's real nice. I mean, I would love to spend the day in Short Pump if I didn't live there. Right. I don't know what else is there. There's Third Eye Comics.

That's a great spot. Third Eye Blind are there. Third Eye Blind will be there playing their alt-rot hits from the 1990s. So it should be fun. It's going to be a fun day at Short Pump. Fun day? Short Pump. One time Third Eye Blind, one of their first videos they made down the street from my house.

What a thrill. It was very exciting to know. that's such a shitty band. A not to my taste band. Sure. Was the band that had made a video in my neighborhood. Pretty cool. Anyway, we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go.

La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La. It'se Go. I'm Jessie Thore in America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy Detective. And I'm Kevin Avery. Hi, Kevin. Hi. Our producer on the program is Christian Duenas. He's also our lead researcher.

That's a new title we've added. That feels perfectly normal. And I don't, I think it's weird everyone burst into laughter. It's a very well-researched show. We don't say anything that's not 100% backed up by fact. He's on the spot. He's on the spot. With all the information.

Kevin, a lot of people think that with the defunding of the National Science Foundation and a lot of health research, that science is dead in this country, or at least on life support. Right. And as far as I'm concerned, Christian Duenas is holding those electrical paddles that you rub together and then say clear and then jam into somebody. Keeping science alive. Keeping science alive using his science research, such as Googling the address of a store a couple of

doors down. Yes, and scrolling through various kind of Google images of the store. on what we're seeing here. Christian, hi. First of all, hi. Welcome back to the program, Christian Duenas, our producer. Howdy, howdy.

So, Christian, you said you have an update. Recently on a program, we were recording at night, so we did not have direct access to the store. Tell me a little bit about what you have learned. Boys. Broadway Erotic Store, also known as Broadway Erotic XXX, also known as Adult XXXX Broadway

is temporarily closed. Oh, no. I don't know when this happened. What an upsetting revelation. But yeah, it was... What was that owner's name, Bruce? Jack.

Jack. Short for Jack off. You know why it's probably temporarily closed? He's taken an app. He's probably... Napping and fappen and clapping as we speak. Napping and fappin and clapping? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, if he's already napped and fabbed, He's probably ready to yap. Probably ready to yap. That's what the third one was. Yap. Yep. Yap. I was thinking maybe he's in Atlanta for Freakneck.

Oh, could be. The return of Freakings. Listen, if the warp tour can come back, so can freakney. I love the idea of Freakness coming back, and it's just a bunch of middle-aged people trying to relive that joy all over again. Not quite nailing it. If you were here on a Sunday night, you would get to experience that because he's, you would get to experience that, because here in Pershing Square, there's a series of rap oldies concerts that's happening during the regular recording time of Jordan Hessego and has been happening for a number of weeks. It was the last time we recorded here during our regular recording time.

It was Trey Songs, Soldier Boy, and Ray J. That's weird that that's old school. I know, but it is. Because my brain went straight back to Rodney O. and Joe Cooley. No, there's no orange juice Jones at these. concerts. This is only people from 20 years ago,

although there was one that was sugar-free, DJ quick and corrupt. So that's 30 years ago. That's a while back. That's 30 years ago. So it only says temporarily closed. There's no explanation.

Nope. Have you been over there? I don't know if I should answer that. You banged on the door? Bang on the door. I know I'm going right after I finished this podcast. When's the last time you saw, this place open.

That's a good question. Yeah, you know, I had not, I had not clocked it. I, you know, so I don't come into the Maxphone Office if we're not recording Jordan Jessica, sometimes free with ads, we do it here. So I'm here, you know, once a week, you know, maybe five times a month. And so I have not noticed the porno store, but just kind of like knowing that it's there, you know, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, a warm blanket, knowing that if I wanted to yeah, after the podcast.

A little dirty blanket. If I needed a filthy blanket, if I needed some throat numbing spray, I could go next door. Yeah, and just the last time we were in here, I noticed a vacant storefront with the sign. And I just became worried. I just got worried about something that for some reason I wasn't worried about last time we recorded. Okay. A throat seems like a terrible thing to numb. it seemed like that could cause you real dangerous problems to numb your throat right you could choke and not know it

yeah i don't know how long it lasts i mean hopefully just for the duration of the blow job that's a thing yeah throat numbing spray we learned about how helpful jack was in selecting a throat numbing spray for one of the google reviews christian in his position is reviewer went through all the reviews and said one of them and they said that most of them just talk about how helpful jack is is and what a nice. And again, this is why you support your local porno store. It's that face-to-face quality, recommendations. I'm still stuck on.

Think globally, jack off locally. But, yeah, apparently throat numbing spray is something. Yeah, this place sells throat coat. Yes, I have heard of this. They sell butt plugs? But plugs. Sure. And they sell Tibetan prayer flags.

Good for them. Here's the problem with this. kind of place. Yeah. I think these movies, or these movies, these stores largely dealt in, I'm surprised that any of these are still around.

Because I feel like they're, the real thing was movies. DVDs? Or sometimes jack off. Yes, the boots. But, boy,

is that a bygone era. Yeah. I'm really glad, I'm glad to be a millennial for many reasons. Of course, you know how I feel about hay bales, Sure. Sure. You love them at your wedding. Indeed. He loved to waste all your money on avocado toast.

But one of the reasons that I'm grateful to be a millennial is that by the time I got to be an independent adult, when I went away to college at 18, when I reported to the dormitory, there was high-speed internet. It was not the kind of high-speed internet that we might have today, but for what we had then, it was plenty high-speed enough for me to obtain pornography. Right. And before that, as a younger teen, I mean, you know, there was Playboys or whatever, right? Like, it was fine. I was covered. I didn't need specific forms of pornography in the way that I would have if I was 30 in 1997. Right. So I never had to go to a porno store and buy porno in my life. Zero times.

Well, I'm immediately flashing back to a concert in San Francisco where the having to go get it. And it's one of those places where you go into one of those stores and people are focused on what they got to do. And I think this was a porno store. we were in line at the one of the two the big venues in San Francisco, not the Fillmore, but it was on Market Street. And we're all lined up, I think, to see like Fiona Apple or something. And middle of the, it's evening, but it's still daylight out. It's like probably six or seven or something.

And when you say we, you mean you and the other members of alias? Me and the other aliens. I think actually I was there by myself. I was just in line like, let's check out this, this, Fiona Apple. And a guy, the Warfield, that's where we were. And a guy came spilling out of one of these places, one of these clubs, not ready for a full line of 20-somethings or whatever, like catching him. Who knew he had just jacked off. Yes. And he was fresh out of, you know, collared shirt and like tie loosened or whatever. And you could see it on it. He popped out like, what the? Oh, ah, hey.

Color in his cheeks. Hoping his daughter wasn't in line with all of us, you know, like that kind of image. She was more into Tori. Probably. Probably. But yeah, so I don't know how these, any of these have stayed open for, who goes to the store to pick up any of this? You know, I wonder. Now I feel like there's a movement of people who are like, hey, bring back physical media.

Yes. So, you know, PlayStation just announced they're not going to do. physical media, you know, streaming services takes stuff down all the time. There is, Jordan, I see the direction that you're driving. Yeah. And I will tell you, at the end of that, is people who are into vintage physical pornography. Okay. And I know this because there are subreddits, including...

I was going to say subredits. Including the VHS subreddit. Uh-huh. There's like a flipping subreddit for like people that buy things at garage sales and sell them on the internet or whatever. There are a few subredits that I go into. and one of the most regular questions is, I ended up with this gigantic stash

of vintage physical media pornography. And it's usually, usually we're talking about VHS tapes or DVDs. And there are places, because you can't sell it on eBay. Okay. But there are places that they send you to. Like there are websites where people buy and sell

physical media, vintage physical media pornography. because these nasty freaks, they can't get their specific preferred pornographies in other places. Right. What? They can get the subject matter,

but what about their favorite stars? I think if you did, like, I think, you know, if you did start jacking it, or flicking the bean, whatever, you know, whatever you like to do, at a certain period, pounding the prostate, a lot of great ways to bring yourself to orgasm. Squinching the nips for some.

Sure. Some people have nipple orgasms. Punch in the face, your own face. So I think there was like a time. And I feel like this is a time when I was aware of pornography but could not get it. Where it was like, let's do this high budget. Let's like try and make these movies. This is like the vivid entertainment.

When you would drive through Los Angeles and there was a vivid entertainment building that was a huge building with a huge sign and people will talk about how much Jenna Jameson was getting there. Yeah, exactly. where there was like, you know, story, and like the parodies, the like, the saint, the thing you know, an X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, parody. Right.

If you, but if you, like, if that's 70s pornography show, it would be called. An X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, Ferry. If that's when you, when your brain was at its mushyest, you need that. And I bet you do have to hunt down old DVDs and stuff. Like, you want to watch that movie, that pirate movie where the pirates are fucking? Sure, yeah.

And, like, it had, like, a, $30 million budget or something. Yeah, there was stuff like that. I know, but as someone who did watch porn on DVDs and VHS, I don't ever want to go to back. I don't want to go back to that. Unless you're a, I could see a collector being, you know, but like. Did you rent it from a rental store?

No, I would buy it from a place. It's a tough way to watch porn. Now that we live in an era of modern convene where I can be watching a video and go, not that part, this part, or jump, or just go to another video or whatever. The problem is now you, if you're watching porn online, after you've done it for a while,

there's so much, it's just a cascade of like, your brain is kind of like, well, remember not this, what about this, not this, what about this, then you got all the windows open and the things. I feel like kids gotta get their nose is out of their phones.

The couch is weird at this one. Have you ever waited? Why are so many people wearing socks on camera? while they're fucking. Have you ever watched porn where there's like construction going on in the background? Or just a... I'll never understand... Or like a pet just hanging around in the background.

I'll never understand people. Or they're watching like cable news. Yes. That's what I don't understand people. Or shut off your TV. A lot of people have sports playing. I have watched porn where I've suddenly completely forgotten where what I I was there to do and have just been focused entirely on figuring out what movie they're

watching. A hundred percent. I have to know. I've watched certain videos over and over again just to know. I'm like, I got to figure out of the movie. I'm like, you don't have the express written consent of Major League Baseball. No. You can't share these descriptions and depictions. Or ABC. You don't have none of that. And the TV's right there. Reach over and turn it off. Please, it's so loud. It's so distracting. This is a very baroque pornography scenario that you're involved in to have drawn the line at turning off hard copy. You guys want to listen to some phone calls? I mean, that's sort of part of our job.

Yeah, I guess. It's sort of like if we didn't listen to phone calls, we'd have to think of all the things that we talked about. I mean, run through this closed porno store's Yelp page some more. Yeah, I mean, if you want to. We'll do that on a later episode. We'll come back to the Yelp. page. I'll just talk about three things that happened to me in San Francisco. Or, yeah, but yeah, let's listen to some phone calls. Let's do it. If you got a call

206-984-Fund or just send us a voice memo at JJGo at maximum fun.org. Here's a person who's done that. This one's, this is a car week. We have two car. Ooh, it's a theme. Hong Kong. Car week here on Jordan Jesse Goh, Hong Kong. We're clicking and clack. The dipship brothers. Hello, Jordan, Jesse, Goe, and Christian. I'm calling in with kind of an old school call, a vanity plate call. Now, I'm calling from Millageville, Georgia. My wife is from Orange County. And, you know, in L.A. County, Orange County, there's a lot of vanity plates. But in Georgia, you don't see them that often. But I was in the Lowe's parking lot

today on a nice little Sunday afternoon. And I see a bumper sticker. Says, I heart-sucking toes. so I turn it around so I can get a better look at the sticker. I see another sticker. It says, hell yeah, I suck toes. And then the license plate, tow S K, J-C. Toe suck. I don't know. Jesus Christ.

Love you. Bye. I mean, that's what he was doing with Mary Magdalene and everything. Yes. I mean, depending on what translation of the Bible you read in the King James version. Sure. In the new international version. Sure.

That guy's a fucking nasty freak. Jesus Christ, Superstar. That was probably happening. This guy really knew how to keep it to theme. Yeah, you really did. Yeah, you know, I had this thought. What's his question? I think he's just calling to say that he saw that thing,

and then we talk about it, and then we'll just want to make sure I missed any. The show will be over, and we'll do the show again this week. Right, right, right. Yeah, so every week we kind of do like a little show. We talk into these microphones, we record it, and then we share it with people all around the world. Is this what I'm doing?

It is. Yeah. You're on the show. It is. Fortuitous. I know that you asked that we cut out the part where you talk about DVD pornography. We're actually going to double track it. Hopefully.

I want you to re-release that, just that section, like once every week, just on its own. Right. And here, you know, once again, Kevin Avery talking about DVD pornography. Listen, I have been to those stores to know what they're all about. A couple weeks ago on the show. we had, I don't forget if this was a call or if this just came up, if a guest experienced this or whatever, but

someone had seen a t-shirt where it was like a werewolf saying like, I love to goon. Do you remember this, Jesse? I mean, that sounds like something someone would tell us about. Yeah, something we would talk about. I mean, overall, I would say the quality,

I would imagine it's because of the internet, but the quality of novelty bumper stickers and novelty t-shirts has escalated. I think. Sure. It really has. And yeah, there's, you know, sellers on Etsy and you know, you can do it to a more niche. You can sell to a more niche group. You don't have to just have a bumper sticker that goes four quadrant. You know. You could just, you can all be toe sucking stuff. It could be all toe sucking stuff. I had. Or like all stuff for witches who suck toes. Sure. Yeah, exactly. Well, yeah. There's, there's no bumper sticker monoculture anymore. There's, there's, there's, there's niches. The niche is within niches. That's true. They're sure. I was on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley the other day. All I wanted was to find a bumper sticker seller that was selling that World Peas bumper sticker. Do people not have the, do, do people not visualize whirled peas like they did?

I don't think they do because I couldn't find one. Bummer. There was a guy feeding birds wearing chain mail. But no whirled peas. But no world peas. He made it himself because he also had a chain mail making setup. Okay. Really?

It was an older man, too. I put him at 70-ish. Retired, you just find new shit to do, I guess. Do we, listen, maybe I'm becoming a crotchety old conservative here. Okay. Do we need to walk back advertising our sex things as a code? You mean like on our...

On our shirts and bumper stickers. On our cars? On our civics? Maybe. Like, I can remember... Well, I don't think we're all doing it. Yeah, that's true. that's one person who sucks toes and they want the world to know it. I was thinking...

And the gooning werewolf shirt. I don't know. Is this like maybe you don't need... I don't know. I know that there's been this big modern witch's thing going on in the last 10, 15 years especially. I mean, obviously it has roots that go back much further. Of course. Everybody knows that my dad was friends with Starhawk, okay?

So don't correct me about when the new witches thing started. But I know this new witch thing has been really picking up steam the last decade or so, I would say. What about new other kinds of mystical creatures? What about new werewolves? Oh, I was talking about something else. But yes, we can talk about that. New Pegasus. Yeah, why isn't there a contemporary centaur?

No, good question. New griffins. Own it. Own it if you're a... Or new knights. Just new knights. Sure. New knights would be cool.

K. Yeah. I don't know. I'd settle for new British nights, B-Ks. Right. Wow, I remember when those were the thing. Yeah. I'd settle for new L.A. lights. Yeah, jinks.

You know what? I'd remember the same shoe thing that I did. I'd settle for L.A. looks. Hair gel. Right. Do you ever studio? No, I don't remember. Studio.

Studio hair gel. Is that your hair gel of toys? I did not really use product because, yeah, I didn't. like styling shit or anything like that. Never even like a Murray's pomade? I didn't until I got to college. But when I was a kid and I, you know, black kid with sudden like growing up around all white people,

you have these sort of weird identity and physical crises. And I remember thinking, it would be cool if my hair was straight. You grew up in Denmark, we should explain. Yes. You know, didn't we all? and so I remember at beautiful beautiful country but I did probably hit my local Walgreens

and buy I think I broke down and bought some studio gel thinking this would be the answer to my needs and yeah there is now that I see that it on screen I do remember this I think I remember this guy the commercials there's a kind of like Tom Cruisey looking guy they have advertising this and by the way it did not work

work on my hair. The Memphis, the Memphis logo, you know, with the primary colors in the squares, is a very vivid memory for me now that I've looked at it. What I didn't know is that I needed to, I didn't know what, what did what the hair, I needed

to relax my hair. Yeah. And so, take it on vacation. And so when I went to college, I did meet someone who knew how to do that and then they were like straightening in. Now you're just describing the plot of Malcolm X. Yeah.

Was this in the 1930s when you were a gangster? And I wore my zoot suit everywhere I went. Yeah. It's so funny. I remember watching Malcolm X in college in that scene and thinking where it's burning his head. And I remember thinking, yeah, I know exactly how that feels. The guy who would do my hair, be like, let me know when it's burning. And it does burn the shit out of your scalp.

No lie. No. That's a pun. Well done. Thank you. Because it actually does have lie. Right. Yes.

That's why it burns your head. Listen, we've made the perfect pun. Should we take a little break? We'll come back and wrap. We got one more call. Oh, we got another car-related call. Sorry.

Oh, my God. I forgot the next call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse, and guest. I'm going to guess Dr. Mario. This is Patrick from Toronto calling with a momentous occasion. Today I had to make an emergency stop off the highway so that I could take a picture because my odometer hit 42069. Nice. Love you guys. Heart is a rock.

Wet as a river. Very immature. Again. Very immature. Once again on theme. What is it with all your collars? And God love them. And he does. What is?

And Christ loves to suck their toes. That's right. Christ is a nasty toe sucking goon and werewolf. Why do all of your collar sound like they have been taken hostage? And they have one chance to leave this message before their captive comes back. I think something has happened as we've transitioned from voicemails to voice memos, where when people are holding the phone in the traditional talking into the phone way, they're sort of yelling down the line. Like they're on a long distance call from New York to London in 1974. Yes.

In 1974. But do you know why people do that? Why? Because unlike regular landline phones that we all used to have, if you talked in the landline, you could hear your own voice. And with cell phones, that is not a thing. Because it was full duplex. What? Full duplex and half duplex. Interesting. That's why you had to have a phone machine, it was called, a telephone hybrid, in order to run a telephone into a soundboard if you had a radio show or podcast. Because the phone line line. carried both voices at all times. Right. So there was no two channels on the phone line. It was one channel that was both voices.

And so that earphone, the ear part of the telephone receiver, was playing your voice and the other person's voice, as you explained. And so the telephone hybrid that was used to put people on the air had to digitally separate your voice and the other person's voice. Because otherwise, they would be playing. Your Voice telephone style. Oh, that's fascinating. Yeah. Huh. I didn't know that. Yeah, true story. All right. Yeah, and maybe the, maybe when calling on the phone, there's, you know,

people whose, like, parents taught them phone manners. Maybe they are being a little more, like, hello, is Jordan Jesse, can I speak with Jordan Jesse go, please? No, I feel like people really think that if they're talking in here, they have to talk intimately. I talk at full volume when I leave voice notes, and I leave voice notes. And I leave plenty of, unless I'm outside. What are you, Steve Agee? I don't know. You're sending out voice notes? I have a handful of people

that I will send voice notes to. Jordan, you ever get a voice note from Steve Age? No, I never have. I would love to. Once in a while, Steve Age, you'll break into the text messages with a voice note. Nice. You're like, all right, Steve Age, all right. Yeah, I know a couple. He nasty, but okay. I like that move. I don't do too many voice notes myself,

but I always like it when someone does it. It's fun. I saw Steve Agee at Comic-Con a few times. Never saw him leaving a voice note. Great guy to see at Comic-Con. Yeah. That's basically the dream guy to see a Comic-Con. Oh, yeah.

You're going to see somebody at Comic-Con? My wife uses an app where you record videos of yourself talking to the other person. And I don't understand what makes this app better than just sending text messaging a video of yourself talking to the person. But it's important that it be in this app. App is called Marco Polo. Okay. But you... Oh.

That sounds familiar. She will record herself talking into her phone to her friends. Her two, like, childhood best friends both live outside of the Los Angeles area. So she talks to them in this way. And it's, you know, with our busy lives and children these days, it's hard to connect directly. Right. So I understand her desire to talk to Jess and Alexis. But she'll talk to them in the phone for five straight minutes, which I can almost imagine doing.

Just leaving a message. Yeah. If I was talking to Jordan, I was talking to Pete Fraunfelder, my friend from childhood. Right. But then she'll just sit there and watch them talk to her for five minutes. And as much as I could imagine running my fucking mouth indefinitely, I certainly can't imagine listening to others for that long. Going back, yeah, I mean, at that point, just make the call. That's the thing.

I would just say make the call. Although I have certain friends that I have left. very long voice notes with. I mean, the truth is, I don't even check in with my friends. Yeah, most of my friends I don't. I think the one thing I use voice notes for is if I am working on an animated show that has singing in it, you know, a lot of this is done remotely. So you can't like, I have a hard time, like, writing something and sending it in

without being able to, like, pitch it to someone, you know? Right. Because I feel like, you know, some of the emphasis gets lost or if it's like a song, like, maybe the style of it's not kind of coming through. So every time I do a script that has a song in it and I'm not there to pitch the song to people, I will sing it into a voice note. Are you writing songs?

Yes. And I, with the kind of intent that, like... Did we know this before that Jordan's writing... I did the same thing for the great... Jordan's writing songs? Do you? I was writing... And I did it...

Well, I wasn't right... I would... If I had to write a song for the show or for an episode, I was doing sometimes I would sing the melody or a version of the melody without words just kind of like and put that in my

in a message for myself I wouldn't send that to anybody like check this is what it is although eventually I would send a version to him but yeah but yeah so I you know just like hey this is kind of like the vibe I was thinking and like with the you know

knowledge that like a professional musician will like change this tune and just kind of use this as a jumping off point so I will voice memo myself singing just so it's, you know. Oh, yeah. So I feel like my emphasis is out there. Is that why I keep getting voice memos

from you that just go, happy, happy birthday. Although I am applying for a job at TGI Fridays and you have to get the song right in your audition or you will not get that job. You have to get the song right. If you don't nail it. When you're applying, when you're auditioning

for TGI Fridays. But whenever I, I mean, it's a tough job. Tough job to get. I blew my Appleby's audition, so I don't think I got a shot at Fridays. Yeah, if you blow Applebee's, you're not going to get Fridays. Red Robin is the absolute best case scenario for me now.

You're lucky. But every time I... They said they were looking for a Jesse Thorn type. And I still didn't get it. And then it went to Iowa debris. She gets everything. I know. How many jobs do you need, huh?

She's in everything. Very good. But when I sing these songs, they will get just put into my digital phone library with my music and sometimes when it's shuffling, me singing will come up. Yeah. That's crazy. I have like five-year-old songs that I wrote for Unicitty that will come up. Like if you're listening to...

Just like my own personal music on shuffle. Unlike a Spotify or something? I think it puts it into my Apple Music library. Oh, yes, it does do that shit. There's contemporary musicians. And I don't know if this is true outside of urban music, which is the only kind of where I would hear about this kind of thing. But, like, there's guys that are, like,

top songwriters and producers on R&B and hip-hop records that are just doing it by singing into their phone. Like, that is, like, they show up to the studio and they're like, here, this is what I got, and they press play on their voice memos. That's true. Yeah. Isn't that kind of the story about Jay-Z,

do a lot of songs like that or something? Anyway, I feel like I've heard that about it. I thought, well, I mean, I always heard that he just goes to the mic and he doesn't write anything. He doesn't write anything down. He doesn't write anything down. He learned not to write things down when he was a drug dealer. Ah. Oh, that.

I can't, I could never just write a rhyme like that. That's insane. Yeah. But I mean, how many. How many rocks have you sold? That's true. Good question. Are you talking about just like pebbles or stones or things you find on the beach?

If something momentous happens to you, call us 206-984. Send us a voice memo at JJGo at maximum fun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. La La La La La. Hi, I'm Justin McElroy and I host Sawbones with my wife, Sydney. I'm here with Max Fun member of the month. Amanda Adams, thank you so much for being a supporter and thank you for being our member of the month. Woo-hoo!

You're so welcome. How long have you been listening to? to Sawbones, Amanda. It's been probably a good 10 years. I very much enjoy Dr. Sydney and everything she does, and it's wonderful to be able to support it. Let me ask you about the most important moment

in your life when you decided to become a MaxFun supporter. Honestly, I am just proud. I can support the people who make me hours and hours of content every week. I feel honored to do it. Amanda Adams, thank you so much. I really appreciate your support. Congratulations on your whole month.

Thank you so much. It has been a good month already. Support the shows you love, including this one. Check the show notes for a link or go to maximum fun.org slash join. Hi everybody, it's Ellen Weatherford. And Christian Weatherford. People say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. But we can judge a snake by its ability to fly or a spider by its ability to dive.

Or a dung beetle by its ability to navigate with the starlight of the Milky Way galaxy. On just the zoo of us, we rate our favorite animals out of ten in the categories of physical effectiveness, behavioral ingenuity, and of course, aesthetics. Guest experts like biologists, ecologists, musicians, comedians, and more join us to share their unique insights into the animal kingdom. Listen with the whole family on maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio. A Jordan Morris boy detective. I'm Kevin Avery. You know what the experience that I really...

Where's your signature catchphrase, hi? People are freaking out. My bad. I fell asleep at the wheel there. I'm Kevin Avery. Hi. There it is. That's our man. Hi guy. Yes, Jesse, you were saying. You know what the main experience I had walking down Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley was?

There's things... I had probably been there in 25 years. Yeah. There's things that I remember. the big cow clothing store Rasputin and Amoeba Records are still there a guy covered in birds wearing chain mail making chain mail and feeding the birds

you know things that seem familiar then there are things that are different you know like I'm like oh these are young people and I'm not a young person anymore like I'm not even in the same broad group doing these things doing the like the chain mail Well, you said he's an older guy. Chainmail guy who's an old man. I mean, it's always been weird old hippies selling friends on Telegraph Avenue. And that group has just gotten older. So it's the same people. They're just 70 now instead of 52. You know what I mean? Like then what are the younger people doing there? The younger people are just, first of all, I realized that they're a bunch of fucking dorks. Okay. I was like, oh, right. These, these, you don't get into Berkeley unless you're a fucking dorks is young dorks.

A cool name for some kind of band. I don't know, maybe if it was like how many non-dorks have ever gone to UC Berkeley? Just Jason Kidd as far as I know. All right. So I'm like, wow, these 19-year-olds sure are 19 and they're total dorkwads. Right. You know what I mean? Like it used to be when you're a certain age, all adults are about your age or they're old people.

And now that I'm truly middle age as a 45-year-old, I'm like, no, these are some 19-year-old. old-ass 19-year-olds, and I am in a totally different category. Even the young people that music that I listen to is old people music to them. If I bring up Larry June, rapper Larry June to them, they'll be like, that shit from six and seven years ago? Yeah. You know what I mean? I've realized I'm done with new music.

They're like, yeah, Frank Ocean, I was into that in middle school. Yeah, I don't. You're out. You're out on new music. Occasionally something will seep through, but I am just recycling. You're not taking the house tour. Yeah, I'm not. I'm done.

I'm done. I'm done. And not by, I just don't listen to music in the way I used to. I stopped listening to the radio a long time ago. So that was like a thing that's just out. There's no, I realized the last, my last means of getting new music

were video, like the MTV's, even BET or what, VH1 when that was a thing. And that, those things are going. Yeah. And so that's,

that's where I got my new music. was the last place they got new music. And otherwise, unless occasionally, like on a release radar or some kind of playlist that I just actively decide to listen to. But otherwise, I'm just recycling my same old shit. I'm all about present that new music button on my Apple music. See what comes up. Send me the new music.

And, you know, when it sends me new music, is it almost always some sort of marginal re-release of a soul record from 1967? Yes. Yes. Maybe I should do that. And like if I'm, because when I have music on in the background, I will put playlists that I've been listening to. But maybe I'll just try a little new music action and see what happens.

See where it takes me. It's fine. Check it out. I'll tell you another, I'm a little embarrassed where I've gotten new music from. Actually, this is the last place I've got new music. Coffee shops. And God help me. Is that why you listen to so much, Nora Jones?

I mean, listen. you don't Duffy That's where I found Adele Before everybody knew who Adele was Yeah Starbucks discovered Adele they say She worked there And was just singing from behind the counter

Much like songs would break it Freak Nick back in the day Now Phil's Yeah Yeah You can get on that Phil's playlist But like There was a coffee shop in New York

That I would write at And I remember hearing Janelle Monet's music and knowing who Janelle Monet was, but I hadn't really, I'd kind of slept on her. And then we all shazam. The hot babe with the outfits on television. Yeah, right? Who knew? She was banging out hit after hit. And now I can't stop listening to her. My main experience of walking up and down Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley was it all seemed really small. and I thought, was I a three-year-old? Why would it possibly feel like physically small?

Like it seemed short and it seemed small. And I was like, this is like when you hear that like the slide at the park that you went to as a toddler seems small when you go back as an adult. Right. Are the streets narrow? The street's pretty narrow. How are the slides? No. Do they have slides?

There's a lot more dumpling restaurants. Okay. That's positive. But yeah, nothing wrong with a dumpling. Yeah. You live in a city now with outside of their neighborhoods, because in my neighborhood the streets are very narrow. But I feel like we're in a city where the streets are very wide.

And I think Berkeley is like, no, we're not doing that here. No, they're not interested. Yeah. So it all does look small. The buildings aren't crazy, crazy high. You know what, though? Real talk? Berkeley, downtown Berkeley has a lot of tall buildings.

Really? Yeah, because they have gotten serious about building tall buildings for people to live in. Okay. Yeah, there's all kind of fucking tall buildings in downtown Berkeley now. She's trying to impress you. They are. They heard that I like tall buildings. Tall buildings and big digs.

Quick add a couple stories. They're like, this guy, this guy thinks we're a small town. At least shave your pubic hair to make the buildings look bigger. Thank you. Yes, that is how the buildings will look bigger. Well, Kevin Avery, I'm... Hold on. Yeah. That's how you...

You're going to wrap it on that with no explanation. What the fuck are you talking about? You got to end the show on a home run. I thought we should have wrapped it up on that lie thing. Listen, that lie thing was a great. You knocked it right out of the park. Unfortunately, the information I needed was on that ball that went knocked out of the park. But makes the shaft of the building look longer because it's not obscured.

You know, my brain literally went to you shave your pubs. you actually look taller. I was like, listen, if you haven't auditioned at TGI Fridays, they love tall guys. They love, so you have to shave your pubs

and learn. Jordanite already blew my, my audition at TGI Fridays. Do you think they're still going to enjoy this pub shaving tip when I audition at claim numbers? I'm talking to Kevin. I'm talking to cats.

Try it at Stuckies. All right. You know what? I'm going to bring this to Fuddruckers. Yeah. Happy, happy birthday from all of us. to you, we wish it was our birthday, so we could party too. No.

No? So we could party too. Oh. Jesse. No wonder I keep blowing it. You're never going to get the Fudd records. Christian Duenas is the producer of our program. Our theme music is Love You by the Free Design.

It is courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. Our guest has been Kevin Avery. Make sure and go check out his podcast, Maximum Film. Oh, yeah. It's a great podcast about film, Jordan. I've done it a couple of times. Yeah, you have. I'm going to go recording right now.

Ooh, what are you guys going to talk about? Spider-Man. I almost said I don't know. And I know. Spider-Man. Okay. It's a fun movie. Mm-hmm.

I loved it. Four hours long. Well, if you watch it twice. You know what? Which I would like to do. It's these kinds of observations you can get. This is what I'm here for. When listening to Maximum Film.

Mm-hmm. Follow us on social media so that you can check out the try hard guys. Oh, yeah. And clips of, uh, you want to see what facial. expression, the odd facial expression that Jordan made when I said, shave the pubs to make the building look tall. Right. Yes.

You want to see the look of wonder play across his eyes? You want to see him become humessent just at the sheer power of my wordplay and imagery. Well, then follow us on social media. We're on blue sky. You got to follow. We're on Instagram. We're on Reddit at our slash maximum fun. Oof.

It's been a little quieter on the maximum fun subred at and Jordan Jesse's Let's get in there. Start chopping it up, people. If you were going to join, let's say you're not a modern witch.

Uh-huh. If you're going to bring back a mythical creature or group to belong to in contemporary times, this is great. What will it be? Go to R slash maximum fun and let us know. Let us know.

Okay, we'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessica. I'll hug you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you, love you.

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