Jordan, Jesse, GO! - Genus Prunus with Guy Branum

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

Guy Branum joins Jordan and Jesse to talk about their favorite things to buy from a roadside fruit stand, the food that went too far for Jordan at the night market and Guy's work for the California Prune Council.Go see Guy's hilarious new movie Bros in theaters September 30!

Give a little time for the child within you, don't be afraid to be young and free. Unto the locks and throw away the keys and take off your shoes and socks and run you. It's Jordan, Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, food prude. Not a lot of scandalous foods out there. That's what I thought. I mean, papayas. That's what I thought.

Papayas are certainly very vulgar. You know, Jesse, this show we do, this is... This is bad. This is R-rated. Yeah, bad. Well, bad. But also, I'm not... You wouldn't...

I'm open-minded. I like to... I mean, when I'm out there watching TV, I'm twisted. I put on south park look while everybody else is watching leave it to beaver right and the brady bunch this is what everyone's watching i'm watching south park respect my authority etc look we've been doing this show 15 years or whatever yeah if we have anything, it's that you're totally fucking twisted. I'm a rude dude, but now I think I might be a food prude. Oh, wow. I had you pegged as

food crude. Yeah, no. I mean, I thought I was. I thought I was, but I found my breaking point. Okay. Well, what were the circumstances? Have you been to this thing, the 626 Night Market? 626 Night Market. This is like a foodie event, right? Yeah. It is like an outdoor food festival. It is kind of like centered around the foods of the San Gabriel Valley. So that would be Southeast Asian food, Chinese food. Yeah, so that's a big part of it. Also a lot of Mexican food

and then some just general like county fair shit, some general like, you know, fried Oreo between a funnel cake type stuff. Sounds great to me. Beautiful event. You know when they talk about county fair food in media and they're not bringing anything to it. They're just listing county fair foods.

Look at this. Yeah. Works for me. I'm always like, yeah, I'd love to try that shit. Great local news segment. Yeah, sounds great. So this, I'm not slagging off the event. I had a lot of great, great time.

So much good food. Can I ask a sincere question about going to a thing like that? Sure. The thing that I always wonder about it is, you know, some of them, I don't know if this is one, but some of them you have to, you pay to get in or something. Yeah. I'm always just like, well, how many foods could you eat? That's kind of three right four that's kind of part of it is that

yeah you're you're dropping you're dropping five bucks to get in but you know you're getting a little bit of entertainment you got some like uh like a kid singing contest you can enjoy oh well you should just open with that jordan i mean yeah uh know, there's a marketplace. So if you want any like wall hangings featuring the characters from Jujutsu Kaisen, you can get that. Air plants. They got air plants probably. Yeah. Yeah, probably. But yeah, there is this thing of like, how much can you eat? I think obviously if you're going with a little group, everybody can get a couple things and snack, but you got to be strategic about it. And I had a lot of great stuff. Fun event. If it ever comes to your town, I think you should go. But there were some things that bothered me that I was not expecting.

The first thing was something called a D cake. I'm going to put a picture in the chat here this is a taiwanese cake on a stick shaped like a veiny penis it is filled with nutella and covered in condensed milk okay i'm going to take a look at the d cake here so it looks like there's a sort of panini not a panini press, like a waffle press. Yeah. Kind of thing that shapes it. So it is three-dimensional. It takes the full form of the D that lends it its name. Yeah. And I think it is also taking into consideration that width is important. Right.

It's a wide cake. There is also, I can't find any pictures of it online. I did see pussy versions of this. There are pussies. Okay. So this was, I'm already, this is a little much. There's this other product I'm going to put. I'm going to, I'm going to just pause you for a second here. Sure.

It is filled with Nutella. It's also drizzled with cream. Right. That's condensed milk, I believe. Condensed milk. Thank you. That's the penis's semen. Yeah.

That got all over it. It's the penis's semen. Yeah, that got all over it. It's on the shaft and balls. When you have sex, you don't end up with stripes of semen on your penis. I'm not doing it right. They do seem to focus the semen on the tip, but the part that, I mean, like, I would prefer that it were a slightly more abstract penis rather than having such a prominent bell end. It's so realistic, right? And such a big round set of balls at the bottom. Yeah. But I have to say the upsetting part to me is when she pokes a stick up through the balls into the shaft.

Right. Like, that's the part that really gets to me. And then I know that that is a cliche thing for a dude to be upset by, you know, that part of Game of Thrones where they cut the guy's penis off. But like, it really does get me that they're sticking a kebab stick

up through the ball area. I guess it's good that it's not up the cake urethra. That's true. It's not a pastry sounding situation. Sure. So the second thing that upset me was something called Hawaiian honey cones. Okay. Well, so far I like it because a honey cone is one of my favorite R&B groups behind the

wonderful hit song, Want Ads. One of my favorite R&B groups behind the wonderful hit song, Want Ads. One of my favorite songs of all time. Is it called the Honeycones? Yeah, Honeycone. Honeycone. Just Honeycone. Well, okay.

So the slogan of the Hawaiian Honeycone is, it's the second best thing you'll ever put in your mouth. So already they're leaning into this. So what would be the first best thing? Probably ice cream. I think they're talking about dicks. I think. I think.

I think. I can understand that. So this is a J-shaped ice cream cone, kind of hollowed out and filled with ice cream. Their mascot, I think you can see at the top, is a bee cow. I think it's made to look like it's covered in cum. Are you looking at this bee cow? It's a cross between a cow and a bee, which already upsets me because it implies, you know. It's against the will of God.

Yes, against God would not want this bee cow to exist. So it's an adorable cartoon cow, but it's in what you would call if cows could fly, a flying position. Like if there was a Superman of cows, there probably is. You know, one of those 50s Patmans. Yeah, like red kryptonite turns him into a cow or something. Yeah. And then he has bee stripes.

Yeah. Sort of like Jerry Seinfeld has in the movie Bee Movie. Exactly. It's very descriptive. And then he's got little bee wings. He's got a cute little flower on his head. But you're right. It seems like his mouth is covered in jizz.

Right. And again... Which is fine. Maybe this is me. Maybe this is me reading into it. And maybe this is me being uptight. I think I'm... Anyway.

So, I mean mean it does it it again sort of like the stripes of semen it suggests that when one has semen on one's face it gives a sort of the power of of flight. A clown makeup-like effect. It encircles the mouth in a sort of oblong, carefully defined oblong, like a cartoon child who just ate a cinnamon bun. The thing that really sent me over the edge at this, where I'm like, I think society is broken is that there was a big

juice stand and you could buy a big thing of juice served in a baby bottle and adults were just walking around drinking juice out of baby bottles giant baby bottles to me this was this was more foul than any d-cake than any pussy on a stick

daddy don't love baba no daddy don't love baba This was more foul than any de-cake. But then any pussy on a stick. Daddy don't love Baba? No, Daddy don't love Baba. Daddy don't love... Daddy didn't love that. Daddy doesn't love calling himself Daddy. I don't like any of this. I don't know. Is this me?

Did you not want to take out your binky? No, I don't think... To have your Baba? I don't think this should be something we do in public. Nom on baby bottles filled with juice. You think that there should be human milk in the bottle, not juice? No, I don't think... I just don't think there should be...

I don't think adults should have bottles... Full of juice instead of milk. In public for the purpose of Instagram. I don't the purpose of instagram i don't think so i just don't think so how far away is the die die are we six months from the die die are we six months from some sort of adult diaper that you wear to a food festival and you shit in maybe this is the vibe shift maybe we finally identified the vibe shift and the vibe shift is Baba. Man. Baba, binky, didy.

Baggy full of Cheerios. All movies are just footage of keys jingling. Stinky dumpers. Wow. But is this me? Am I being, and maybe our guests could have an opinion on this. How about this, Jordan? Six months from now, the vibe shift happens. It's all about Baba.

Baba. Nine months from now, it's all about meuconium. That's baby's first poops. Gosh. We're all having soft spots surgically added to our heads. Head softening.

Yeah. Spot softening. We're going into the cosmetic surgeon saying add that fontanelle back in but maybe this is me i'm willing to admit that maybe this is me maybe have you seen the documentary about it tongues unclipped maybe i'm no fun give me a little uh yeah give me a little umbilical cord made of Thai noodles. Our guest. I can eat it out of my own belly button.

Our guest on the program, visibly upset. He's a brilliant stand-up comic and writer. He's also a movie star. Yes, that's right. He's, I'm going to say, first and a half on the call sheet in the new movie, Bros. Our pal Guy Branum. Hi, Guy. Hello. Good to be here. Thank you for having me. Third on the call sheet. Thank you very much. That's what we're talking about. Guy Branum, best friend.

Who's second and how can we take them out? No, the second is the romantic lead. We can't take them out. There's no need. I mean, physically, we can't take him out. He is incredibly physically powerful. I'd love to take them out on a date. I mean, wouldn't we all?

Thank you guys for having me. It's been so long. The whole world has changed since last I was with you boys on this podcast. Yeah. Last time I didn't have COVID and now I do. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm doing all right. I'm doing all right.

But I do have COVID. You've been doing great. Yeah. I can't wait to see you without the brain fog. You know what the thing to do is? My recommendation, if anybody out there is looking for a tip on how to survive COVID-19, the horrible disease that's, or medical condition that's affected so many across the world.

Just get yourself one of those cake plates full of blow. You know, with the dome on top of it. Just that dome where you take it off like you're at Lars Ulrich's house. Just take that off there. Guy, congratulations on the movie. You're so fucking great in it it's

a delightful movie it's super funny you get to do a lot of hanging out in dance clubs and making remarks and i really appreciate it pointing at guys in dance clubs and making remarks about them standing and making remarks is the kind of acting i am most enthusiastic about also we we have to go back and we have to talk about food prude Jordan Morris. Yes, sure. I would love to hear your opinions on this. You guys, well, the thing is, is like, I, understanding that this is media rollout for a film, I brought Scoop to Jordan Jesse Go.

I was like, I am going to reveal something to the world on Jordan Jesse Go. I was like, I am going to reveal something to the world on Jordan, Jesse go. And it very directly goes into the subject because I don't like it when people try to make food grosser than it is and think that that is cute. Like I was quite upset by both of those dessert options. Even the Hawaiian honeycomb, which is very abstracted. I was like, no like no thanks for me and i love putting a dick in my mouth that's like one of your top 10 things it's 100 one of my top 10 things and i just don't need something else well first of all don't conflate the act of fellatio with eating something i might get confused and bite some poor man's dick. Right. It looks like the Hawaiian honeycomb looks like a G-spot stimulating tool. It does. It honestly does to the extent that I understand those things.

Yeah. But I've seen the rabbit episode of Sex and the City. Anyway, the point is, the scoop that I have for you guys is after months of hectoring on twitter and then a lot of work between my team and their team i have brokered a deal to become an official ambassador for the california prune council and as we all know the thing that california prunes face most is the terror of people making blue humor about prunes. Like, it has completely gotten in the way of us being able to acknowledge that they are a delicious French treat brought to this country by French immigrants some 200 years ago. And so now I'm just trying to figure out ways of making people think about prunes without having them think, well, they make you poop. I mean, when you said California prune, I'm like, are these guys going to be singing the hits of Motown?

That's my concern, too, is what if they start singing the hits of Motown and they're in trouble? I would say that that territory is occupied by other dried fruits of California. California rich in dried fruits. I mean, what are our dried apricots doing um early 1960s like folk choral group um i mean mango's doing british invasion yes prunes i think should be solidly like operetta and not madrigals maybe oh madrigals is fun i like that early music let's get them doing early music kids let's get aute in their hands and see what happens. I mean, I'm just trying to let people know the prunes are classy.

That's a really good point. If I were, and obviously I'm not, I'm not a celebrity like you guys. So I could never be the, if I were a movie star, maybe I could, but I'm a beloved television host, certainly for my work on IFC's The Grid and in History Channel's Christmas Through the Decades. And a Californian all the way through. There's no doubt about that. More Californian than a raisin. Were I?

A raisin of a man, that Jesse Thorne. What's he like, people ask me? My concern, if I were in your position, Guy, is what if a rival comic takes up the cause of the California date? What if Greg Barrett is on television doing date commercials and he says, prunes, I'm just not that into you. I mean, a terrifying prospect to think about. But also, I think there's more than enough room for all of the dried fruits of California. I love dates. Jesse Thorneorn do you think after a long weekend of homosexualizing and poem springs i don't make sure to drive back alone

not with another gay guy because another gay guy would make me stop at outlet stores but not let me stop at hadley's date farm to get a date shake but i'm like i'm driving home alone so i can get a fucking date shake in peace i fucking love a date shake. But also, you know, California prunes can bring us so much as well. Why isn't there a California prune shake? I will be working on that. I think that sounds like a great shake. So when you're making that drive from Chico to Sacramento, as we all do, you can stop off at Branham's prune farm.

We don't have a prune farm. We had an almond farm. But Joel's prune farm, J-O-H-L, the Punjabi way, and get yourself a prune shake. Yeah. So you think that this would come with a sick flavor, S-I-K-H? Oh, yes. Because a lot of people don't know how many farmers

in Central California are sicks, you think this could get a little Punjabi angle? Absolutely. Absolutely. Is there some ginger in there? Is there some saffron? I think it's very possible. Also, part of why I created this relationship with the California Prune Council was because I started yelling at them on Twitter because they only had white people on the website being like loving family farmers. And I was like, no, I need to see some like loving brown family farmers because that's who I know who's growing prunes. Now, with the saffron involved, I'm 100% on board. This sounds incredible. And I'm going to be honest with you guys. I'm not going to kick the poops out of bed. You know what? Sure. I'm grateful gonna kick the poops out of bed You know what?

Sure I'm grateful for it I'm getting older Who doesn't like a quick poop? You don't want to be in there all day And also, I mean We live in Los Angeles Like, everyone's trying to detox

And detoxing is just a nice way of saying I'm trying to poop more and faster Yeah And I think And again, I don't want to like I know you don't want to like i know you don't want to go negative guy but i'll go negative okay on your behalf this is like a proxy yeah this is like when uh you know a political candidate has like the the council for information or something like

that you're the kamala you've been you've been brought in to be the prosecutor yeah and this this date shake you mentioned um that I think will be your competition. It's a treat that you get at one or two places kind of on that drive from Palm Springs or Joshua Tree to LA. And it's a fun stop. It's near those dinosaurs from Pee Wee's Big Adventure. That's a fun stop and a great part of the road trip. And I've stopped to get the date's a fun stop and a great part of the road trip and i i've stopped to get the date shake a lot and i like it you know what you can also do there what is you can

stop and get a regular shake and it's better and it's better because it's a shake that doesn't have a bunch of dates in it yeah you can just get a vanilla shake and it's better no i love a date shake i think they are delicious they're good they're good it shake and it's better. No, I love a date shake. I think they are delicious. They're good. They're good. It's fun. It's a fun tradition. I mean, Jordan, you might as well say when you stop in Cab...

Look, I'm just going to put it out there. We're talking about Cabazon. Sure. When you stop in Cabazon, you might as well try and go to the La Brea Tar Pits. Are the La Brearea tar pits better than the dinosaurs from peewee's big adventure yeah of course but you're in cabazon when in cabazon go to the dinosaurs from peewee's big adventure even though it costs like 17 dollars to get in but only it recently became not affiliated with flat earthers so it was recently bought back from or maybe young earthers i think

they don't think the earth is flat the people who used to own it were younger yeah i think they were young earthers yeah i'm sorry the worst thing to come of the internet is being able to find out about the political leanings of the owners of roadside attractions like it used to be you could just look at a largest nickel in canada and be happy and now you have to be you could just look at a largest nickel in Canada and be happy. And now you have to be like, oh, I look at the largest nickel in Canada. I'm, you know, supporting anti-vaxxers or something. This happened to me recently. John Hodgman lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

When I'm in New York, I stay at John Hodgman's house or actually I stay in his office. He has an office right by his house. Or actually, I stay in his office. He has an office right by his house. It's like a little tiny sort of studio apartment type deal with a pullout sofa. I love staying there. It's expensive to get a hotel in New York and it's never any good. Park Slope's a really lovely place to stay for a few days and walk around to the food co-op or whatever and buy Hodgman's house. There's a bagel place called the Bagel Hole. It totally owns. It's fucking great. I love bagels and, you know, for a long time it was hard for me to get a bagel here in Los Angeles. I was really happy with. That situation's improved in recent years. But I'll look. All you really want when you're staying somewhere that's not your house is a place where you can just get something to eat for breakfast that you like without it being a whole thing you know you just want to ultimately be staying in a hotel that's near you know the

whole foods food bar or whatever so that you don't have to eat a pastry from Starbucks for breakfast. And the Bagel Hole is perfect for that because it's a great version of that. So just blunder down the street a block and a half, get a five-star bagel. Then not only did they start posting borderline QAnon stuff on their social media, but even worse than that, Hodgman told me about it. Like I wasn't following the bagel hole on Facebook. I could have been completely blissfully ignorant and continued to go to the bagel hole and get myself a nice sparkling Martinelli's and a bagel. And Hodgman ruined it for me. Oh, no.

I mean, like, it's tragic. And you just wish you could forget. Like, you just so deeply wish you could forget. I know people who still go to Squirrel, the upscale place you go for breakfast toast on the east side that famously would just have mold on its jam and and just scrape the mold off and i see people who i know and respect who just go to squirrel and i'm like but we know and they have just like drank they drank the waters of leaf so that they could forget and just enjoy the toast all over again. They're like, I gotta get my nuts.

You'll probably see Ryan Gosling in line. One time I went to the restaurant that came before Squirrel on the east side, and I saw Common eating some oatmeal. And God, what a dream. Wonderful. What a dream to see Common comedy with his beautiful cheekbones. Guy, are you actually, do you actually eat a lot of prunes as part of your day to day? I enjoy them a great deal. Like when I was growing, I mean, the story is that like, I always thought of them as

like a lovely treat. And when I was in eighth grade and we went to washington dc the way that eighth graders do we brought like to the other people on the trip to tell them about where we were from we brought little bags of almonds and little bags of prunes and they all ate the little bags of almonds from blue diamond and then just left the little bags of prunes from sunsweet and all of us were just sort of like what on earth are they doing prunes are delicious but yes they are for me like an occasional treat. I generally, let's be honest,

I buy dried fruit so I can make Sephardic-style kharoset for my Seder, and then I have dried fruit in the house for another six months, and I just nosh on it. I'm glad that you're not here to lie about your Seder guy. We're so tired of Seder lies. We've had a lot, yeah,

we've had a lot of controversy around that. We've had a lot. Yeah, we've had a lot of controversy around that. We've had to do a lot of notes app apologies of people spreading false Seder information on this show. But that's nice that they were open to the criticism about their website. That's nice that they took it with, you know, a spirit of understanding. I really appreciate that because, you know, some spirit of understanding. I really appreciate that because, you know, some people would call cancel culture on you. I mean, look, some of my best relationships have been built from misunderstandings on Twitter that then evolved into understandings. Mara Wilson of Matilda fame, Sarah Silverman of the Sarah Silverman show, and now prunes.

Sarah Silverman of the Sarah Silverman Show, and now prunes. Yeah, that's the big three of Twitter. Yep. Guy, you're from California's Central Valley, as we alluded to, or Northern North. Does that still count as a Central Valley, Central Valley as far north as you were? Yes, though, I mean, we're the Sacramento Valley, south of San Francisco. It's the San Joaquin Valley. And we like to quietly think less of them because they get less rainfall than we do. But here in Los Angeles... Fucking chumps. Fucking chumps.

Fucking chumps. I'm sure many of our listeners are aware that California is the real breadbasket of our nation. It's where our food comes from. Do you have any favorite things to buy from a roadside fruit stand? Oh, absolutely. I have essentially not gotten a decent peach since I left home. And so any opportunity to buy peaches like from the source, wonderful. When I am down more towards the Santa Cruz that made you boys friends, I love, I mean, that sort of like garlic and artichoke territory is always really exciting for me to roll through. It really is remarkable that garlic country, the Gilroy, California area,

like when you drive past, there's an enormous industrial feedlot along the five freeway between San Francisco and Los Angeles. And you smell the poop of the cows. Like you have to, miles ahead of time, set your air to recirculate or else you'll die on the way. Yes. And it is like that, but garlic. And you're like, is this smell coming from underground because that's where garlic is right i mean i know it has leaves it has to do photosynthesis somewhere i've done that

drive a couple times recently and something that i've started doing that that might be of interest to people also kind of doing this drive you It's just putting an eggplant on your dashboard. Yeah. Yeah, and by the time you cross the Golden Gate Bridge, you'll have an eggplant parm on the dashboard. Basket of cherries on the driver's seat, or on the passenger seat. Excuse me, basket of cherries on the passenger seat. You can stop at one of those little roadside stands.

You can get a basket of cherries. You can kind of open up the plastic bag so while you're nomming on them you throw in the pits in the plastic bag you just throw it out at the next gas station basket of cherries on the passenger seat now will i hit a speed bump and choke and that's how i'll die yes this is how i will die and i have come to accept it. But yeah, unlike George W. Bush, there's no secret service guy there to hit your back or whatever. But yeah, those little roadside fruit stands kind of in that Santa Cruz area. Grab yourself a basket of cherries for the drive. It's a lot of fun.

Cherries on a road trip. That's a very classic choice. That's a great summertime choice. Don't you think that that's going to cause problems a number one with sticky steering wheel which is a yes a major concern and number two i don't know about you guys but you put a basket of cherries in front of me i'm going to eat all of the cherries there's no i'm not going to leave some cherries in there especially if they're good cherries and then well then you gotta you're gonna end up having to do your business at a like a rest stop right no one wants that yeah you're gonna they're gonna have a prune like effect i'm just gonna sure no you're right i know you're a food prude jesse you were so effectively essentially smearing cherries with the high dietary fiber

there it's genus prunus it's all the same species like you were really spreading it out and then you had to bring it back around thank you for using the latin name guy thank you for using the latin by the way have you guys ever played trivial pursuit genus prunus i would fucking destroy it that yeah there's no doubt about it that's that's how you made it to the college quiz bowl national championship or whatever just one of them was genus prunus my favorite character from the star wars prequel their voice is a little problematic but yeah but I as a younger man possibly a less responsible man would avoid the sticky hands problem by i would just roll down the window and spit my pits out of the window and very firmly believe that i was doing god's work by spreading cherry pits that could eventually turn into cherry trees

johnny guy cherry seed they called you yes in actuality, they were probably just bouncing against people's windshields. That would not be great. I'm not going to lie to you, Guy. I'm a 42-year-old father of three. I'm a small business owner. I have to manage a significant disability in my day-to-day life. I'm a homeowner. I paid for my car with cash.

I think this is a great idea. I would spit the cherry pits out of the window a hundred times out of a hundred instead of putting them into the plastic bag. Absolutely. It sounds like a great time. It's growing cherry trees across this nation so others can have cherries it is feeding squirrels speaking of and our songbird community so decimated by cats thank you these fucking cats if it was me my fingers would be crossed of course my hands are ten and two

but my fingers would be crossed if i when made that spit, it would hit a cat. And when it hit the cat, it wouldn't hurt the cat. But the cat would think twice about devastating our songbird community. That's what I'd like to see. It would focus on maybe crows, you know? Hate crows. Always coming up with a fucking plan guy do you make it back up there to that part of california often i do a fair amount because i have a mom that's

still there and a niece that my mom raises but uh because my mom at 70 is raising a 21 year old niece i periodically have to go to arbitrate fights and then show them great gardens again, just so that they understand what we're not going to do. Your mom's up there cooking in bed, huh? I mean, it's like, it's so close, Jesse. Like her stove went out during COVID. And she was like, I can't have it replaced. I can't have anyone in here. And she just started cooking things in the oven. And I was like, you're seriously just two technological problems from cooking Vienna sausages

over a gas burner. Just like those ladies in a gray garden, spoiling corn. You guys want to take a little break and boil some corn and then get back to the show. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan. Jesse go. It's Jordan,

Jesse go. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart, Jordan Morris, boy detective. Oh, thank goodness. Jordan Morris, boy detective. Oh, thank goodness, Jordan. Jordan Jesse Goh is supported

by the members of Maximum Fun. Thank goodness. What a relief. What a relief. The goodness in this case is the members of Maximum Fun. Folks who went to MaximumFun.org slash join. I feel like I've been holding my breath these past

17 years. Well well that's because your mom wouldn't get you a candy apple at the fair that's true and i'm making her pay you must pay mother by burying your child we're also this week wow that got dark i disagree i was just talking about candy apples over here. This is a fictitious fiction, Mom. It's not a real scenario. Is this something that happened with you and your mom?

No, we have a lovely relationship. You're nice, Mom. I would never hold my breath to make my mother fear. I do not want her to fear. Is that something you would do to Brad? My stepdad? No, I don't want him to fear. I don't want anybody to fear. Is that something you would do to Brad? My stepdad? No, I don't want him to fear. I don't want anybody to fear. He's such a nice man. Just joking around. Okay, now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. Jordan, it can be easy to focus on your problems instead of

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to day basis. Therapy is so helpful with that stuff. Yeah, if you're thinking about giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It's convenient, accessible, affordable, and entirely online. You can get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey and switch therapists anytime. There's a lot of different ways to get therapy. We're not going to stop you from any of them, but one great option is BetterHelp. So when you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash JJ Go today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash JJ Go. Speaking of problems, Jordan, we're also supported this

week by Stitch Fix. Now, certainly you can go to therapy if you have problems, but what else can you do if a problem comes along? You must stitch it. Yeah, you're going to have to stitch it, folks. And hey, don't get me started on what happens if the cream sits out too long. There's another scenario where you would want to stitch it. Stitch Fix uses a combination of a special fun survey and real human beings to recommend real clothing to you. You can either get it in the form of a special store that's just for mommy or daddy or parent, or you can get it in the form of a special box that comes right to your door. Both of those are pretty much dream ways to shop. Yeah, Stitch Fix is a ton of fun.

The quiz is great. And yeah, I always look forward to getting a box from Stitch Fix. Whether you're looking to avoid going into the store, which is not everybody's idea of a good time, whether you're looking for something that fits your body and you're sick and tired of, you know, trying to figure out which brand's thing is going to be the right, because you got broad shoulders or powerful muscular thighs or long noodle-like arms, whatever it is,

and you need something that fits you. Or whether you're kind of like looking to mix up what you wear, find something that fits you, or whether you're kind of like looking to mix up what you wear, find something that you wouldn't have picked but find is perfect for you. You know, stretch your wings a little bit and find a thing that when you put it on, you're like, oh yeah, that is what I like. You can find it with Stitch Fix. Sign up today at stitchfix.com slash jjgo to get $20 off your first purchase. That's stitchfix.com slash jjgo to get $20 off your first purchase, limited time offer, purchase within two days of sign up. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan it's jordan jesse go i'm jesse thorn america's radio sweetheart jordan morris boy detective guy brannum dried plum advocate thank goodness thank goodness there's somebody coming i've been

complaining to you jordan we've had so many apricot people on this show right and it's like chris fairbanks eliza skinner yes sure god if i hear blah blah blah apricots if i hear about the relative advantages of sulfured and unsulfured dried apricots. One more fucking time from Eliza Skinner. Jesus Christ. All she ever talks about is her dog and fucking dried apricots. Give me a break, rolled dates. Nobody needs fucking rolled dates, Greg Barrett.

You, uh, you make- I blame Barrett. Is this a, you making a little cash off this gig, Guy, or is this just for the love, is this just for the love of the game? am 100 making cash off of the gig but i would be doing it for free this is something i wanted real bad like my hometown newspaper will never do actually they did one article about me they will never be enthusiastic about anything that i make like it's just i'm not for them them, but like having the California prune

council on my side and getting to be on their side thrills me. It is our ad guy has spent so long, like our ad guy, you know, ad salespeople make huge amounts of money because it's so hard. And to be good at it is such an extraordinary skill. Our ad guy is so good at it. He's the highest paid person at the company. God bless him. He's a 60-year-old former entertainment executive. The only real grown-up at our entire company. probably 10% of his time in the four years that he's worked at MaxFun to trying to get him to get me to be a spokesman for Tillamook Ice Cream. I mean, have gotten nowhere. At one point, he's like,

I think I can get us a meeting. The thing is, it's like, what a high quality ingredients. I mean, Tillamook Ice Cream. When Tillamook Ice cream came on the market, I had one entire phone call with my mother where she explained how it was changing her life. It's just so good. Yeah. The other day I was at Kroger, Jordan, and I saw that there was Kroger brand fluffer nutter ice cream. And as a guy who can't really eat a lot of chocolate, and I like fruit ice cream, but it's not my top kind,

something with peanut butter something something is the closest I can get to chocolate ice cream. A caramel something something or a peanut butter something something. And I was like, well, Fluffernutter, I love that. It's peanut butter and marshmallow. I'm into it. And I said, well, this is just Kroger brand ice cream.

Should I get this? And I said, you know what? It'sroger brand ice cream. Should I get this? And I said, you know what? It's worth it. It's fluffernutter flavor. It sounds like a great flavor for me. Anytime there's a peanut butter ice cream without dark chocolate in it, I should just get it. I got it.

And you know what? I should have bought fucking Marion Berry Tillamook because it sucks ass. It's bad. Store brand ice cream is not very good compared to fucking Tillamook ice cream that's way fucking better. And you know what else? Sorry, Ben and Jerry's. I like your corporate practices. Sorry, Haagen-Dazs.

I like that you're an imaginary European brand. But your brand of premium is stuck in 1986. I'm sure it's better than whatever was available in the grocery store in 1986. But no matter how many partnerships you make with Jimmy Kimmel or whatever, I'm going Tillamook every time because that's a real premium product. Sorry, I'm not afraid to say it. If it gets me canceled, it gets me canceled. I tried Tillamook ice cream and really liked it. And it took me about halfway through the bowl to just really, really assure myself, this isn't cheese flavored.

This isn't cheese flavored. I know the logo makes you think it's cheese flavored. It's not. You're enjoying this. This is not like the mental energy I had to expel to like get the logo out of my brain while I was eating it was insane. I mean, that's because our minds have been infected by the world of upscale Los Angeles ice cream. And like I am obsessed with all of these ice cream shops that feel the need to essentially make ice cream worse for adults. No child running an ice cream shop would be like brown bread.

No child running an ice cream shop would be like bergamot. And I've decided it's because when you're an adult... Cardamom. Lavender and something else? But it's inspired by the founders' world travels, Guy. The founders love to travel, and they want to- Lavender is a smell. Put the flavors of their travels into the ice cream, because they come alive when they travel.

I love lavender. There is an ice cream brand. Hold on, Guy Branum. Hold on, Jordan. Guy has something funny to say. There isn't. It'll be funny. Look, I have something not funny to say.

Okay. Which is that in Los Angeles, there is a premium ice cream brand, the premise of which is that it's women-owned and architecture-themed. It's a dual premise. Women-owned and architecture-themed. Wait, is Cool House women-owned? Or is or is there a different oh i didn't know that that's the one and their ice cream is not that great i mean it's it's good it's good enough it's good for a grocery store but i think when adults are buying ice cream for themselves you do kind of need someone playing defense like you do sort of need like something

involved that makes it undelicious so that we have to like think twice about what we're doing that's an interesting one because children's ice cream consumption is controlled by circumstance which is to say they don't have their own money right they have grown-ups looking after them yes they can only eat so many bubblegum scoops because bubblegum ice cream is a horrible idea that tastes bad. It's bad for you. But a grownup, I mean, it's a problem for me, can have unlimited ice cream. I'm not necessarily a rich man, but I have enough money to buy as much ice cream as I want. I can buy, if I only ate ice cream, I can afford to buy enough ice cream to only eat ice cream.

And you're right, Guy, there has to be a backstop on that. There has to be something checking it. That's a great point. When something momentous happens to you, give us a call at 206-984-4FUN. And you know what? If you're out there, you're with the Tillamook Company, you're one of the It's It folks, either one of those, also give us a call, 206-984-4FUN. Send us an email at jjgoe at maximumfun.org.

Just send us your voicemail over there. Here's our first call. Hi, Jordan, Jesse Goe. This is Charlie in Seattle, and I was just listening to you guys and David Borey make some very accurate Seattle jokes, including one about Detlef Schrempf. While I am currently painting in Detlef Schrempf's former house, all of the doors are eight feet tall and there are giant basketballs in all the windows. It's rad as hell.

Love you guys. Bye. That rules. First of all, I presume that he means house painting, but I like the idea that, you know, one time, you know, Dana Gould's old house, Dana Gould is obsessed with... I think we talked about this exact thing the last time. Great.

So Dana Gould's old house used to belong to Roddy McDowell. I'd like to think that this guy is just a big Seattle Supersonics fan and a fine artist and can only paint in a home that belonged to former Sonic star Detlef Schrempf because Sean Kemp's house wasn't on the market. market yeah also kind of nice to know that this basketball player is so uncreative he's like what are the windows shaped like basketballs of course yeah know your brand though i respect you're right why yeah why why guilt the lily you know what is that what gilding the lily means i don't know why not i'd like to live in a very tall house i think that would be nice isn't there a floor at the hearst castle where everything is like three-quarter size for children oh i think there is i think there's a floor with like slightly smaller furniture and everything else that's for children i would like to have that but for me never worrying that i'm going to hit my head. There was also a room just for a fucking Clark Gable.

Yeah. Also three-quarter size, weirdly. Yeah. But, you know, you're sort of bent over the whole time. Sure, yeah. Now, nobody's upright when they're fucking Gable. When it comes to how big or tall that room is, frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

I thought it was very good work, Jesse. Congratulations. Good work. Very good work jesse congratulations good work very good work thanks it was all right it was fair it was fair you know it was the best i could do let's take another fucking call that left shrimp is just fun to say fun guy hello jordan jesse and guest i'm hoping it's guy branham hi guy what this is jackson wait what hold on daniel hold on hold on hold on this is like this is this is big we've been talking about this happening for a while and it's never happened hold on hold on okay so guy yes jesse for your information yeah a lot of times when guests call

in they try and kind of guess who the guest is going to be and you know A lot of times when guests call in, they try and kind of guess who the guest is going to be. And, you know, a lot of times they'll like, you know, they'll guess a Chris Fairbanks, they'll guess an Eliza Skinner, they'll guess a Nick Adams. And, you know, it's...

Steve Agee. Yeah. These are pretty good guesses based on our kind of beloved recurring guests. These are people that we call sometimes when someone cancels. Sure. You know, but they've never been right

in the, you know, however long we've been doing the show if they've never been right in the you know however long we've been doing this show they've never been right and it was happening so and sometimes they'll do like a funny joke get like dr jill biden they'll say we all uh yeah i will say we love it but it it was happening so frequently that we said we would do something for someone who got it but i forget what that is i think it was something so maybe it was were we gonna make them one of those stick dicks i think so yes we were gonna with the nutella we were gonna mail them a d cake yeah or whatever the pussy version of the d cake is pussies are strong they're yeah sure they can be filled with nutella and still retain their shape i mean have we considered that this potentially is some sort of

inside job that somebody had oh insider information to win this competition for um an unknown prize it could be a d cake but do you guys have an internal affairs division at Jordan Jesse Goh who can sort of like, you know, ferret around and find out if this is, you know. So you're thinking we need to depart at this shit. Yes, exactly. Oh, we need to find the rat. Let me ask

you this, Jordan. Our producer Daniel is relatively new on the job. He's getting a very fair wage to work for us. He's not working for us full time. This isn't 100% of his career. He also works at the library. And I'm sure when he's working at the library, he's also getting a fair wage because that's a city job.

Maybe it's a county job. I don't know. I think he works at the city library. In city library. He's confirming that. So, you know, it's a good gig. County library has some beautiful buildings yeah that's true he probably gets good benefits there a good rate of pay we know he's got a flexible schedule he's mentioned that great co-workers that kind of thing so he's

reasonably professionally comfortable access to three random transformers movies in the dvd section oh man you can get any goddamn elmo dvd you want sure this guy can read as much fucking car and driver oh my god how much car and driver this guy can read at any moment suicide squad comics from three years ago just naming stuff you can find at the library yeah This guy's got fucking consumer reports access up the fucking ass. So anyway, Daniel's sitting pretty. Okay. Charmed life. He's got two great careers.

He's just stand up on the side. This guy is living the dream. He's happily married. What do you think it takes to buy off Zafran? Wow. How much money? I mean, guy, you've only takes to buy off Zafran? Wow. How much money? I mean, guy, you've only just met Daniel, but you can see him. You know, you can see the circumstances in which he lives.

He's got a little heart that hangs from his doorknob. Knob heart. Cute. It's very cute. So he's doing pretty good. He's got vertical blinds, a leather chair. I mean, I think the danger is stability. I think the danger is living a good life

and wanting that a little bit more and saying, what if I abuse the trust of the podcast that I work for? He's thinking that he could move to Bora Bora like Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction. He does have a pot. Yeah. I don't think he has a pot. Daniel's going to catch me if you can us

what other movies can he do yeah fast and furious 7 what do you think it takes to buy off zaffron jordan a thousand dollars i don't know. A job on a better podcast? They just offered him Hollywood Handbook. My favorite murderer says, tell him Zafran, he can head over there if he takes us down from the inside. I don't know how this takes us down. Somebody called from Radiolab said they need some plinks and plonks. Sure. Radiolab's the greatest, by the way. Okay, so...

So is Greg Barron. whenever i bring up greg barrett on the show then i feel like i'm worried that people are gonna think i'm making fun of one of my favorite guys i don't know why i feel that way but i feel that way i just want to make it clear i love greg barrett i met greg barrett on the way to a maximum fun event in a bus rolling through Central Florida. He loudly opined about things and I was in fucking heaven. So funny. What a genuinely kind man. Love, Greg Barrett.

Listen, we need to get somebody to look into this. Let's get, if it's going to be a departed, let's say, let's get... Detective Pikachu. Detective Pikachu on this. But while Detective Pikachu is looking into this, I'm willing to believe that this happened. Because I think that at our core, we're all good. Humanity is good. And we squabble and we squawk and we tweet.

But we're all good. All of us. All good. I think at the end of the day in spite of everything I believe people are good at heart. And we're all on this crazy blue marble just flying through space trying to get somebody to

respect our authority. Yeah. So I'm willing to believe this happened after I see respect our authority. After I see the investigation i'm willing to believe this happened we're all just trying to get the bastards that killed kenny right yes so i but we do need our listeners help to remind us what the prize is because it was so long ago yeah and i do want to deliver the prize to this person if they did in fact win was it sexual i hope it wasn't money. And I do want to deliver the prize to this person if they did, in fact, win.

Was it sexual? I hope it wasn't money because I don't want to give anyone money. Yeah. I'd be willing to give people money if they're giving me something sexual. Yeah, well, you know, sex work is real work.

Yeah. As Cartman used to say. I want to say, I could put together something from the California Prune Council. A prune basket? Yes. a nice prune basket can't happen an edible arrangements all prunes prune basket oops all prunies do you have a favorite variety of prune guy oh i mean i think they're all made from the same like french plum oh in california at least california prunes are my favorite prunes can i ask you a serious question yes how would you feel if i told you that i was sending you a

little bag of dried pluots oh what if i was that kind of nasty bitch i mean i'm mixing up plums and apricots and drying them out for GB. I would be intrigued. I've never had a dried pluot. I tend to find pluots, a fresh pluot, a little musky for my taste. Wow. Well, there's a lot of varieties. I'd encourage you to try some more varieties. It's pluot season right now, guys. So head down to the farmer's market, get yourself some of those pretty green ones. Ooh, I know. They're really nice. Daniel, play the rest of the fucking call. How about that? I'm calling in for your regular segment. Things I can't believe retail employees thought I would care about was at the state fair at the German imports booth. And there was a soft drink called almond dozer that I had never heard of.

And I was like, that sounds fun. So I brought it up to be rung up and the clerk said oh no you know that this is austrian yes thanks guys love the show that's that's what you say about hitler every year i look forward to going to the state fair seeing those prize pigs getting a bushel of hitlers i mean when you were talking about going to 626 fest or whatever it was called i was just like the problem with a food fair is it's just food where a state fair balances food and looking at what people did over their midwestern winter right and place setting competitions yes exactly our friend john moe from Depresh Mode, a longtime Minnesotan now and former Seattleite, big Detlef Schrempf fan, big Sonics fan, John Moe, but he's been in Minnesota quite a long time. He and his wife enter the crop art competition at the Minnesota State Fair every year.

Oh, that's real serious. That's real serious. I lived in Minnesota for three years. That's real serious. I lived in Minnesota for three years. That's a hell of a state fair. But comedian Brandy Brown, I think, previously competed in crop art at the Minnesota State Fair. Like, truly, I don't think I understood what a Minnesota winter was until I saw a three-quarter scale Amish blanket box that somebody had decided to build during their Minnesota winter. And the walking around and the awe depleted me. And then I was like, well, I need to go get a pork chop on a stick. Honestly, when people are talking about somebody on Twitter said to me,

you guys should do a live show from the Minnesota State Fair. And I was like, give me the booking guy's phone number. Because I, yes, of course I would do that. I would do that. Sorry, Bumbershoot. I know Band of Horses is there or whatever. But 100% I would do a live show at the Minnesota State Fair. We will go on after the four tops, which include none of the original four tops.

Yes. And you know what? We'll eat shit. They will hate us, but I want to go to that fair. I'm sorry. Like earnest, like amusing public radio style stuff they eat that shit up like they would love judge sean hodgman don't get me wrong of course they would love judge john hodgman okay if you have a call for us 206-9844-FUN or just send us a voice memo at jjgoatmaximumfun.org if you remember what we were supposed to send that guy, or if you're that guy and you want to give us your address, we can get you these prunes. Just send us that email.

JJ go at maximum fun.org. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse go. What happens when you give a bug recreational drugs? What was the first recorded sound? How do we figure out how old the Earth is? Let's find out together on our show, Let's Learn Everything, where we learn anything and everything interesting.

My name's Caroline, and I studied biodiversity and conservation. My name's Tom, and I studied computer science and cognitive... Did you? La, la la la la la la Are you ready to binge watch something old? The Greatest Generation is a podcast about Star Trek by a couple of hosts a little bit

embarrassed to even have a Star Trek podcast. Hosted by me, Ben Harrison. And me, Adam Pranica. We get into the critical, the technical, the science fictional aspects of the show we love while roasting it and each other at the same time. We've completed an entire series about Star Trek The Next Generation and another one about Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

And we've just begun Star Trek Voyager. So now is a great time to start watching a new Star Trek series with us. So subscribe to The Greatest Generation on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. And become a friend of DeSoto today. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy, detective. Guy Branum, former trivia personality.

This guy is a quiz bowl legend. Minnesota quiz bowl legend, Guy Branum. Did you know that, Jordan? I did, and I'm proud of him every day. Every day, I think about how proud i am this guy led the golden gophers that's right right you were a golden gopher i was golden gopher i did not lead the golden gophers uh a man who is now an architect in uh downtown los angeles led us i was a serviceable player i was functional you weren weren't Gary Payton.

You were more of a Detlef Schrempf. I guess. Yeah. Bill Lambert. That's a, that's an NBA player. Yeah, you were a white bruiser. That was your role. Taking people down.

Listen, we've been opening up this program to corrections just temporarily because we have a new Twitter account at JordanJesseGo. We've gotten on board the Twitter train. It's a new social media website. What's fun is it's like little messages that are within your SMS text messaging limits. That's what Twitter is. It's a great way to find after parties at South by Southwest. Thank you. And we like to use what's called hashtags. I'm not going to get into a whole thing. But we do have a correction here from our friend Dan McCoy. Would you like to read this?

Of the Flophouse. Yes, I would. So I think we were talking about the, with our buddy David Borey, we were talking about the weird, like half finished, but still released to DVD CGI movie Food Fight, which stars, like, commercial mascots. Dan McCoy and the gang at the Flophouse have a very funny episode about this really, really insane bad movie. So, obviously, we had gotten something wrong, and he's letting us know. Dan writes, I would like to take advantage of the JJ Go Corrections grace period to correct Jesse.

Charlie Tuna is not the star of Food Fight. He's at best a featured extra. The star is Charlie Sheen as the new character, Dex Dogtective. I have included a drawing for reference. Sorry, Detective Pikachu, you're fired. Yeah. Dex Dogtective is on the case he's on the case he's gonna find out

what we promised the caller who guessed the guest and Dan has included a very beautiful drawing of Dex Dog Tective looks kind of like McGruff the crime dog and he's thinking I'm an abomination so yeah thank you very much for him

for Dan thank you very much to for him for dan uh to thank you very much to dan for that and uh check out the flop house episode where they talk about the movie one all-time classic but i don't accept the correction i'm gonna go ahead and say that charlie tuna is the star of food fight just as he was the star of jurassic 5 and i will say that because of that, Guy Branum is the star of Bros. Sorry, Billy Eichner. Sorry, shockingly funny, comically handsome guy. Luke, what's his name? Luke McFarlane.

Luke McFarlane did a tremendous job. Sorry, Oscar winner Jim Rash did a great job in the movie as a bisexual. Just a representative for the bisexual community. Guy, Bros is so funny, so much fun. And I'm just, I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled anytime I get to see you make remarks. It's so lovely to see you guys. I was so excited to see you. We had to start 40 minutes late because I drove to where you used to work and didn't realize that a pandemic had happened. But I would like to urge your listeners. You were living in Florida for the past five years, right? Going to Smash Mouth concerts, biker rallies, no mask for him.

But now that we are at a point where we have a little bit more of a handle on COVID, where we have a little bit of more of a handle on COVID, please consider going to the theater to see Bros. Like, you know, we understand we have to go for Top Gun Maverick, but when it comes to a comedy, people are used to just watching them in their homes. But there is something so lovely about watching a funny comedy in a theater. And this is a really funny comedy.

I know because I worked real hard to make it funny. Yeah, this, look, there's been gay rom-coms before there's been good ones there's been fun ones this is like the first like big studio like judd apatow is a producer on this like this is like let's put a a regular rom first of all not that many rom-coms in theaters anymore yeah but like let's make a big one let's make billy eichner the star and creator of it uh let's put it in movie theaters and if you go see it in movie theaters it'll convince people that this kind of thing works and also straight guys help and make a gay story not straight people deciding what a gay story is and making it on their own without consulting gay people, but like truly Nick Stoller and Judd Apatow listening and learning and helping and using their clout to get this thing made. Yeah. I'm really proud of it.

Nick Stoller, director of the film. Very nice man. Very nice man. Bakes a lot of croissants, even in the heat of a Los Angeles summer. I think he has made some sort of bargain with the devil to be able to have a laminated dough in this kind of heat. I'll tell you this about Nicholas Stoller, probably directed my favorite rom-com. I bet my favorite rom-com might be Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is so fucking good. Yeah, that might be my fave. I mean, look, there's a lot of great ones out there. I mean, Jordan Morris, I have to tell you, one of the most remarkable and amazing things about good yeah that might be my fave i mean look there's a lot of great ones out there i mean jordan morris i have to tell you one of the most remarkable and amazing things about you was the

year when we were talking about our favorite movies of the year and you talked about filomena with such heart and enthusiasm and it was just i already knew and liked and respected you but that a movie that small and that personal could be the thing that made the biggest impact on you, made me love you so much more. Nice of you to remember. I demand to know what your favorite rom-com is. Oh, my favorite rom-com. I mean, there's another Stoller-com that I like a lot, The Five-Year Engagement. Oh, again, no one's seen that movie.

He talks constantly about how no one saw that movie and then i watched it because he talks about it constantly and i was very charmed by it and this is a i i promise i'm not saying this to like seem like a movie guy but i love the philadelphia story oh that that is my official answer yeah it's that's a great movie i saw that like too late in life philadelphia story is really good yeah yeah philadelphia story whips ass yeah so those are those are to my fate and you know this the the like dumb slash film list answer when harry met sally but you know what's actually pretty good when harry met sally yeah harry met sally is good he's got that great loft think about his loft all the time great loft look

as a straight guy who loves interior design, I love to see a straight guy whose on-screen apartment doesn't look like a serial killer lives there. Love it. Love everything about it. Yeah. I am so excited to see Bros, Guy. I mean, obviously you're, I think one of the funniest people that there is. I love Eichner and yeah, I would love to see a rom-com in theaters. That's something I definitely haven't done in a while. love Eichner and yeah I would love to see a rom-com in theaters that's something I definitely haven't done in a while so all the time Jordan our listeners write to me and I'm sure they write to you the same thing I want to see Guy Branum talk about fucking a roided out Santa Claus spoilers Jesse oh my gosh I haven't seen it yet sorry I'm just saying that people write to us about that I'm not saying that's in the movie I'm just saying I people write to us about that. I'm not saying that's in the movie.

I'm just saying. I've heard if you kill roided out Santa Claus, you become roided out Santa Claus. Guy, always a joy to see you. Everybody's going to go see Bros because it's a ton of fun. It's really funny and also very sweet. It's nice to see the, let's say, sometimes abrasive talent of Billy Eichner be transformed so deeply by the sweetness of a sweet film. It's very nice. It's sort of what one of the things the film is about. It's about him remaining true to himself while also learning to allow his heart to be open despite his abrasiveness. And it's really sweet and lovely. And Luke, what's his name is so fucking amazing that you believe he just transformed Billy. And yeah, I really enjoyed it. So go watch it. Our producer

on the program is Daniel Zafran, who Guy Branum literally pegged with his pet theory that all Jews' last names should be what they... No, the best Jewish last names are what your ancestors sold, like Shukor, Zafran, Finkelstein. It means sparkly stone. Wow. I had noly stone. Wow. I had no idea about that one. Guy not only, Guy heard saffron and knew that was German for saffron or whatever.

Like, nailed it. Then Daniel leaned, yeah, well, you know, we think that's what, yeah, that's correct. Anyway, Daniel's our producer on the program, producer emeritus, the great Brian Sonny D. Fernandez. Our theme music is Love You by The Free Design, courtesy of The Free Design and Light in the Attic Records. You should find us on social media. We're on Twitter at JordanJesseGo. We're on Facebook at facebook.com slash JordanJesseGo.

Jordan and I are also on Twitter ourselves at Jordan underscore Morris and at Jesse Thorne. We're on Instagram at JordanDavid Morris and at put this dot on. If you have corrections for a limited time only, you can tweet them at Jordan Jesse go. We may address them on the air. And in the meantime, you should follow that for dank memes. It's been a lot of very dank memes. Jordan, you remember when the meme was going around where amtrak just would like post on

twitter trains uh i mean i don't i don't it was like a one day twitter meme where where amtrak would just post trains where amtrak would like the word trains yeah yeah or like uh somebody would just i don't know chris hayes would post politics or something. Just one word. I don't remember that, but it sounds like fun. Yeah, just like one noun. Sometimes more than one word, but like one thing. Anyway, it was pretty dank when at Jordan Jesse Go posted saying words. Right.

It's our trains. Yeah. What is a podcast if not? Okay, I think that's it, right? the twitter account see bros listen to the show talk to us next time on jordan jesse go i'll hug you and kiss you and love you love you love you love you.